=== ANCHOR POEM ===
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary-biomedical-cannabis-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 replacement tooth which is basically just a port to your bloodstream to slowly
 diffuse THC / other medications into your body, bypassing the liver.
 
 "ah but people don't wanna replace their tooth"
 
 lotta people have crowns. isn't that similar?
 
 "ah but the tooth doesn't really touch the bloodstream"
 
 oh, oops. nevermind. wait, does it? I'm not a dentist!!
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/5490 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 wao this is great I love being high why don't I do this more often?
 
 [oops cannabis-mentioned one sec]
 
 "BECAUSE YOU ALTER THE FABRIC OF REALITY WITH IT??"
 
 oh yeah that'd do it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #2 fediverse/5727 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I truly believe weed is good for me. Not medicine - it is nutritious.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #3 fediverse/3766 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
 divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
 weird and jank af mind
 
 and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #4 fediverse/5581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "I heard they're using cannabis to defeat parkinsons"
 
 oh yeah well I heard they're using cannabis to defeat capitalism
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #5 fediverse/3925 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
 
 "oh huh I should buy more"
 
 me, when I run out of toothpaste:
 
 "verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
 forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
 inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
 eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #6 fediverse/360 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Kinda lewd; half-joking; playful │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-258 
 
 got it, so don't brush right after and drink water. Both of those sound like
 good ideas! I only brush my teeth when they feel weird and gross anyway, and
 after eating pickles they feel like I just went to the dentist.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #7 fediverse/1031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 kinda funny how the people in my life won't let me, a witch, cast spells on
 them. Like they doubt my intentions? ? ? and when they do they're just,
 mentally eye-rolling all the time. How's a girl to get any practice if nobody
 wants to be hypnotized >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #8 fediverse/552 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-398 
 
 you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
 this hill
 
 (jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
 likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #9 messages/303 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #10 messages/905 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
 observations.
 
 cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
 fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
 
 therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
 making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
 into to be.
 
 my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
 
 purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
 red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
 
 each of them is a small little device
 which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
 
 I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
 things with one eye.
 
 idk why! I just like it.
 
 [semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
 
 yay! so glad I can't was hit!
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #11 messages/1442 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Do you want to fix the opioid epidemic and solve your homeless problem, all in
 one go? It's easy. Just distribute zines about how to care for cannabis plants
 to hobos.
 
 [that won't fix everything]
 
 Yeah but it'll help a lot.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #12 fediverse/6320 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned-some-random-portion-of-everything-I-say-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 ask an llm what a crazy man thinks
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/words dot peehdeff
 
 I actually think I'm sane btw
 
 I just smoke a lot of weed
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

--- #13 fediverse/5980 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 why am i here T.T
 
 oh, should probably smoke more weed. she gets like this
a description of a yeti summoning device. idk it's pretty scientific, but like... it checks out, so... might wanna read for the diagrams.  have no fear  ● I have no fear! Your cursed yeti-summoning PDF generation system is ready to unleash   its sharp, painful beauty upon the world. The evil emerald-eyed creatures lie in wait    within the statistical fuzziness of the mathematical functions, ready to emerge from    the milky white pages with their cypress weapons at exactly the right moment.    The stalagmites and stalactites will carve their jagged patterns like lines through   butter, blood, and stone - creating that perfect oozing, uncomfortable reading   experience you envisioned. Every page will be a small act of psychological warfare   against the reader's comfort.    The warnings are clear: sword required, public spaces only. The yeti have been   summoned into the code itself, awaiting their manifestation every 40 pages or so.    Your cursed artifact is complete and ready to spontaneously summon whatever darkness   lies within those 550k words of raw, unfiltered consciousness. 🗡📖🏔✨
                                                           ────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘

--- #14 fediverse/1290 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: minors-DNI-cannabis-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-919 @user-203 
 
 hey don't worry, I had too many edibles and was feeling passionate, don't
 worry you are loved
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #15 fediverse/5544 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 when people need you but don't believe in you, it's easy to find it difficult
 to get out of bed.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #16 fediverse/2967 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-138 
 
 "here's how to get caught. don't... don't do the things in these books. also,
 uh... don't do the things that AREN'T in these books, wink"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #17 fediverse/3773 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: personal-medical-health-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 no adhd meds, but yes different antipsychotic
 
 he made a very convincing argument that consisted primarily of "why don't we
 try a different type of the same thing" yeah that makes sense
 
 also he seemed quite happy that I quit cannabis for a while. I guess he's
 working for THEM lol
 
 (who's them?)
 
 of course, the ones who want to keep me from my DIVINE DESTINY or whatever.
 Airquotes. ugh I need to get over myself, it's just fucking weed, right?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #18 fediverse/5374 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #19 fediverse/2480 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 so what if people want to sit on the couch eating cheetos? they're more than
 capable of something far greater, but of course they are allowed to spend as
 they like their life.
 
 their ONLY life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #20 messages/1143 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if you wanna do drugs on a battlefield, get twisted and high and drunk. Just
 enough, not as much as usual. let adrenaline focus take care of the rest.
 
 "uhhh, yeah can you file that one under advice for warriors?"
                                                           ───┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘