=== ANCHOR POEM ===
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health~   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh, huh, turns out I just had to sleep off the depression half of "manic
 depression" and wait for the manic half to kick in.
 
 I feel great now! I love being alive!!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 messages/522 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "I can never tell if people love me or hate me" means you're switching from
 manic pixie dream girl to depression junkie
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #2 fediverse/3286 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I hate how people think I'm mentally unhealthy.
 
 I'm fine. I love myself.
 
 [except all those times when you feel randomly suicidal for no reason at all.
 Are you being like... hit with microwaves or something???]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #3 fediverse/564 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Sometimes I become so excited about the fact that I'm alive and sensing the
 environment in my immediate proximity that I just [redacted]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #4 messages/1031 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Sorry for the melodrama... Sometimes ya just gotta work stuff out. I talked to
 a spiritual man and he helped me feel. I love feeling! Thanks guy : )
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

--- #5 messages/296 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
 *think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
 
 There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
 with what you build for yourself.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘

--- #6 messages/1148 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Sometimes i see a lot of my people, sometimes i see very few. This periodic
 cycle actually fills me with hope. It means they're working together on things
 just outside my view.
 
 I love to be reminded. I love to be loved! But even more, i love to know
 they're busy.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #7 fediverse/3564 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 this kind of thing always happens when I'm manic lmao
error  we are unable to permit banking access at this time. please try again later or call this number for assistance.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #8 fediverse/3702 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 just helped a friend move to a new place in 92` fahrenheit... I am
 exHAUSted... and a different friend invited me to a bar T.T
 
 we'll see how I feel after a shower and a nap.
 
 I'm honestly a little delirious teehee
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #9 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘

--- #10 fediverse/5800 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 ... I feel fine actually
 
 [weren't you just extremely happy?]
 
 heh yeah feelings are experts at changing
                                                           ────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘

--- #11 messages/1186 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 I am amazed, frankly, that my life has always managed to get different. feels
 almost like change is an inevitable constant thing. I personally prefer when
 changes are intentionalized, rather than weather.
 
 "the thing I crave most of all is stability. tranquility. ever-loving peace."
 - some guy with long hair
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #12 fediverse/6131 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 I have seldom felt as if my potential were not squandered
 
 never do I feel such things outside of the height of mania
 
 aka, the most blessed way to be
                                                           ─────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘

--- #13 fediverse/1243 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 hey sorry for ditching you yesterday, hope you had a good night ^_^
 
 I feel much better today.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #14 fediverse/353 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Trans yearning hrt-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-255 
 
 sooooooon, all things in time. Someday you'll be like me - I can't even
 remember why I was so upset about that whole "dysphoria" thing. Like looking
 back it seems like a minor annoyance, but when I first came out it was all I
 could think about. Don't be jealous - just wait! It'll happen to you!
 Celebrate the euphoria, I also can't really remember that too well. I'm just
 normal now, minus my weekly shot.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #15 messages/946 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 [however many minutes later] I love being alone. I could totally live in a
 tower.
                                                           ─────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #16 fediverse/4472 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 slow and steady wins the race, but most people are sleeping at the starting
 line.
 
 wake them up. show them how radical a "normal" person can be. if they see
 themselves in you, they can emulate what you do.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #17 fediverse/5750 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 I love when I can go on walks... they're soooooo much fun! can see so many
 cool people and places and things... alas
                                                           ─────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #18 fediverse/4551 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned-in-relation-to-resisting-capitalism │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 oh no I'm feeling, uh... "depressed" or "manic depressed" or something else,
 you pick this time, better go hide and work on organizational technology which
 utilizes Risc-V hardware, fediverse software, LLM based anonymization, and
 SoCs with multiple ethernet ports, oh nooooo how boring and depressing, if
 only someone or several people who were bored and feeling like resisting
 capitalism wanted to help out, all they'd have to do is get in touch with me
 
 anyway bye
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘

--- #19 messages/250 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 The hardest part about mental struggles is that the battlefield often turns
 out to be your relationships with your friends.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #20 messages/915 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
 (wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
 story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
 muse as I please.
                                                           ─────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #21 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #22 messages/776 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 if people want to be loved for more than their money, they should give it
 away, so there is room in their life for love.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘

--- #23 fediverse/507 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
 assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
 proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
 align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
 later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
 my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
 reality.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #24 fediverse/1290 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: minors-DNI-cannabis-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-919 @user-203 
 
 hey don't worry, I had too many edibles and was feeling passionate, don't
 worry you are loved
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #25 fediverse/5982 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
 parts.
 
 when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
 I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
 stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
 every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
 lean was only for laughs.
                                                           ──────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #26 messages/177 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 There's no potential left of me. I am a husk, a shadow of my former
 possibilities. None left to manifest, and so I huddle in the shade of what
 once was ambition as I wait for the silence to take hold.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #27 fediverse/1841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
 crying. If a little bit less of a release.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #28 fediverse/1219 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 I might be into that tonight! I'm feeling a little unstable because of life
 reasons, so I'm debating doing drugs to feel better. Idk if you want to be
 around that kind of thing. =P
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #29 fediverse/5698 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
 particular moment-event-message.
 
 besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
                                                           ──────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #30 fediverse/795 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-8 
 
 I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps
 to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis.
 
 the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed.
 
 I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold
 you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #31 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #32 fediverse/2488 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I know how you might be feeling. If you haven't hear from someone you care
 about and it's eating you up inside, imagine them succeeding. helps me feel
 better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #33 messages/997 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
 
 Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
 like themselves.
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #34 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #35 fediverse/4546 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
 
 um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #36 fediverse/903 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 the tree of life is a geyser of time cast out onto our bones through an
 endlessly complicating pile of matter. I am beautiful, I am perfect, and so
 are you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #37 fediverse/3833 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 there's no such thing as me
 
 all I am is where the wind takes me
 
 I am just a person, and I do all that I can
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #38 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #39 fediverse/2911 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #40 messages/747 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #41 fediverse/4827 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 @user-1352 
 
 I run Nix on one of my laptops and I really enjoy it : )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #42 fediverse/3220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "I'm not depressed~!" I say as I exist
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #43 fediverse_boost/5734 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  @user-1865 She didn't deserve a lot of cruelty she received.                
                                                                              
  She was a wonderful person, who just couldn't stop talking, never sat still, yelled sometimes and was scared of everything but tried anyway.  
                                                                              
  Needed several medications just to sleep or she'd go crazy.                 
                                                                              
  I am exactly like her, I just found out what was really going on with my body and brain.  
                                                                              
  She never got that chance, and things got awful after this.                 
                                                                              
  I feel like that was when her soul died, and I've missed her since.         
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #44 fediverse/5300 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
 think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #45 fediverse/2069 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I love the game Mechabellum! It's flexes the same parts of your brain as
 chess, while being SO much more fun to watch.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #46 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #47 fediverse/3238 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-health  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
 a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
 Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
 messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
 
 ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
 you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #48 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #49 messages/400 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 The schizophrenic sees truth in dazzling displays of colors unknown to man,
 while the neurotypical sees truth in shades of gray that can be reasoned with.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #50 fediverse/2143 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1171 
 
 "gee I never hear from you how would I know that if people like you didn't say
 something valuable and important like this"an appreciative someone
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #51 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘

--- #52 fediverse/2381 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I smile at each and every person I pass on the street. Unless it looks like
 they're having a bad day, and then I try to switch to neutral as fast as I can
 so they can feel their feelings without me interjecting and making it about me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #53 fediverse/2496 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
 
 if sleep won't come I'll write down the thoughts that are keeping me up. that
 usually makes it easier.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #54 fediverse/3741 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 you can only be yourself once, and it happens while you're alive.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #55 fediverse/5763 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐                                         │
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │                                         │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘                                         │
 I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is          │
 through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when   │
 intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are                │
 [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's    │
 synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god?    │
 you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your                        │
 [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!"                    │
 people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the           │
 equation.                                                                        │
 "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not           │
 omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a      │
 person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't      │
 forget or else we'll put you on stage.                                           │
 "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel    │
 safe in this home of yours?                                                      │
 yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety.                                   │
                                                            ──────────┤
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #56 fediverse/3770 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
 was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
 believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #57 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #58 messages/147 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 maybe if I slept until the end of time,
 I'd do better on the way back.
 
 or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
 but I'm not so sure about that.
 
 is it better to hold a sword?
 or to leave it all intact
 
 is it better to be called lord,
 or to be simply called jack.
 
 I love every creature,
 every child woman and man,
 
 and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
 was born to.
 
 I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
 or misery.
 
 I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
 
 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #59 fediverse/2909 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: parenting-tip    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 if you love someone, challenge them.
 
 also, love them in the way they want to be loved, but that's a different tip.
 tip two.
 
 tip 3 is to get gud at challenging them in a way that actually helps them
 become more critical instead of making them get used to labor. looking at you,
 public school...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #60 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #61 fediverse/4524 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: chatGPT-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 phew that takes a load off my mind : )
A screenshot of a chatGPT conversation  the user asks "How about politically? Are they a radical individual?"  the web search results filtered through a large language model replies: "Based on the public information, there is no public record of Ritz Menardi's political views or affiliations. Their online presence primarily focuses on technology, music, and creative writing, without any indication of radical political beliefs or activities."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 messages/268 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I love all humans. It is unconditional.
 
 The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
 
 Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
 more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
 the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
 
 "you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
 choices. and now you are here.
 
 I burn thee for my fathers 
 I spite thee for thine mothers 
 And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #63 messages/1140 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
                                                           ─┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘

--- #64 fediverse/1145 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 I just wanted to be a silly girl who climbs trees and roasts marshmallows on
 campfires why did I end up like lain in bed listening to thunder T.T T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #65 fediverse/2559 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1056 
 
 my ex would absolutely fall in love with you
 
 like, in a good way. he's a good person.
 
 he did just break up with me, though. so maybe wait a bit before I hook you up
 if you're into that.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #66 fediverse/1259 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-895 
 
 hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
 here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
 gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
 a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
 If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #67 fediverse/3296 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
 could touch and feel
 
 I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
 the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
 conceptualize how humans are configured.
 
 I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
 structure too
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #68 fediverse/3584 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "If I look like a fool, it'll keep eyes on me instead of looking at my friends
 who are stoned and paranoid"
 
 maybe the friends are paranoid because you're acting like a dork and drawing
 attention to the group
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #69 fediverse/4757 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-882 
 
 I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
 manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
 the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘

--- #70 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
 I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
 my own or external.
 
 these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
 for collaboration opportunities.
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #71 fediverse/2949 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm an actor, of course I play different roles with different faces. But just
 as one faces behind two mask, so too does my voice come from the same mouth.
 
 well, that's not true, I speak in many different places. different sets, same
 actor, perhaps character.
 
 really though the main throughline of all of my treasured expressions is I'm
 basically a manic-pixie-dream-girl-programmer-witch who wears diapers and
 prays to her own god. it's like... a lot of things in one.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #72 fediverse/4141 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1268 
 
 I often walk to the grocery store, even though it's on the other side of the
 highway
 
 also I will walk sometimes to meet people nearby
 
 it's a fun occasion
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #73 fediverse/1193 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 There are a lot of things in that picture and I like every single one of them
 :O :O
 
 I'd love to be a houseplant in the corner as you work on your mad scientist
 business
picture of my desk. It's rather unremarkable. I see it every day so it's difficult for me to understand what other people would find interesting about it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #74 fediverse/1194 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────

picture of a twitter post.  hot goth in the woods that keeps answering the door and sighing and going "no, I'm not the witch, he lives over there" and points across the street to a dazzling pretty boy wearing a gold waistcoat who's waving excitedly at them this happens 268 times a month
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #75 fediverse/4516 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1074 
 
 if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
 work your way through it.
 
 There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
 righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
 distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
 
 You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
 Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
 the hearts of your others.
 
 All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
 tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
 true, do not forget it and do not relent.
 
 But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
 before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
 Trust.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #76 fediverse/3763 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned-mental-health-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I think I'm a better writer when I'm sorta consistently taking the meds I was
 using to self-medicate...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #77 fediverse/3788 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 "Zoontalu, I have MEESed one" will forever live rent free in my head
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #78 fediverse/3823 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 "sometimes I don't want to be optimistic sometimes I just want to complain"
 
 oh yeah well what if I want to be optimistic at all times as a coping
 mechanism huh you don't have to agree with me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #79 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #80 fediverse/6352 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I   │
 felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why    │
 I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time    │
 I feel this way.                                                                 │
 I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found      │
 that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever    │
 made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent    │
 and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the      │
 tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges    │
 presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm    │
 like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer    │
 overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever"      │
 ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel    │
 better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you.                          │
                                                            ─────┤
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #81 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #82 fediverse/5129 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 I am a strange person, which is why I live in the strange city for strange
 people.
 
 though recently it's gotten a lot more liberal. Kinda sucks. I miss the
 anarchist vibes.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘

--- #83 fediverse/2215 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I'm kind of a hermit, but it's sunday and I have nothing to do, so I'm going
 to get lost on my bike today in a city I've lived near for almost 5 years and
 really should know better by now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #84 messages/299 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 That feeling when you tell someone you're
 [trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from
 their eyes
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘

--- #85 fediverse/4953 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 "I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
 can't do what you do"
 
 great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
 
 wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every
 once in a while.
 
 the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right
 thing and keep getting better.
 
 human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
 understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
 suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
 magnificate.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #86 fediverse/3786 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 turns out I'm too much of a neurotic cinnamon roll to be a cool stand-offish
 empath
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #87 messages/493 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 The Greek choir wants to kill me, but I'm a fan favorite. Or is it the other
 way around?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #88 fediverse/1376 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 If you're working hard, I'm proud of you.
 
 If you're not, you're resting, which is just as important, and I love you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #89 fediverse/3180 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 I love skywriting. it's so cool to see your words fade into dust after being
 seen by everyone around.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #90 fediverse/6257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 hey, I'm all about uplifting
 
 I do so as I please
picture of a mastodon screenshot which shows 975 characters remaining, implying (based on the character count) that not only was the thought short and easily conveyable, but also that 1024 characters are permitted per post. the profile picture of the profile who is the poster is green on the bottom with a flash of silver, black and white half and half, then red and light pink colored with a flash of white in the corner.  the text of the message that is typed into the display there:  hey, I'm all about uplifting  I do so as I please
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #91 fediverse/4969 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 what if I played video games all day so everyone knew I was harmless
 
 maybe someday I'll give them up again
 
 for the... third time now? I think?
 
 heh maybe. I do enjoy the feeling of being unstoppable.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘

--- #92 fediverse/446 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 
 
 hi I love you also I'm drunk 
 
 (set to "mentioned people only" because I want to send this message to Jaycie
 in particular)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #93 fediverse/3426 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 my grandpa died. now I have none.
 
 I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
 
 I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
 transitioned.
 
 I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
 unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
 
 ... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
 remember.
 
 I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #94 fediverse/215 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 i've only hung out with a moth once and it was kind of while my cat
 was mauling it, oops... they're very cool though so I picked that one too. Fox
 was my main answer
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #95 fediverse/5458 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 "I love you"
 
 I love you too
 
 "we love you"
 
 yeah, I believe it.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #96 fediverse/2629 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-249 
 
 oh y'know just sleeping until I see something I can do.
 
 I am not afraid, now or ever, but I am sleepy.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #97 fediverse/6027 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 some days I feel like someone else's lesson and that can be hard.
                                                           ──────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #98 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
                                                           ───┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘

--- #99 messages/399 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
 incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
 can understand and work with.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #100 fediverse/2827 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 you don't have to listen to me
 
 I am just talking to myself.
 
 shouting into the wind.
 
 why are you shouting, little one?
 
 because it's LOUD out here.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #101 fediverse/2402 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Just got home, and I'm less tired than yesterday! ^_^ maybe a bit more
 delirious then, hhah - I'll drink more water
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #102 fediverse/393 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 sometimes I'd like to scream
 
 as this life is like a dream
 
 deranged a bit in my musings.
 
 ... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
 well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
 persistence upon and along these mewlings.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #103 fediverse/4171 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 me, waking up in the morning and reading my own posts
 
 alright what's the damage this time
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #104 fediverse/6208 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 @user-246 
 
 molybdenum just feels like a fake word
 
 it's so much fun to say though!
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #105 fediverse/759 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 THE DUCKS ARE BACK
 
 I DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY KILL THEM BY FEEDING THEM ALLUMS
 
 I'M SO HAPPY I CAN'T HANDLE IT
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘

--- #106 fediverse/2770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 now that the pain is healed all I want to do is spend time with him. I learned
 SO MUCH from him and then I called him a saboteur T.T
 
 (babe you're still healing)
 
 I forgave him as he was doing it but forgiveness doesn't imply that you're
 gonna stick around. I feel bad for running through.
 
 if a person tells you what to do and then hurts you, you should probably do
 the opposite right? that's just pavlovian - resist pain, avoid pain, remove
 pain.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #107 fediverse/523 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: terf/tirf mention │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 @user-367 @user-246 @user-366 @user-353 
 
 Hate is corrosive, and self-hate is self destructive. I'm glad you aren't
 feeling that way anymore!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #108 fediverse/4489 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I miss my cat, but now that it's dark I can go looking for her again. : )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #109 fediverse/1322 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: hard-drugs-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 one of the greatest gifts LSD gave me was the ability to look in the mirror
 and see a person beyond me.
 
 your reflection has all the same emotions as you, and if you look at them like
 you'd try to parse the feelings of a friend, you can learn a bit more about
 how you're thinking.
 
 ... procrastination >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/4075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 maybe if I "be myself" so hard that there's nothing left to keep secret,
 they'll like me??
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #111 fediverse/5719 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I love dispatch tables! which is a term I just learned and a concept I have
 been using for a while.
                                                           ──────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #112 fediverse/4581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: fedi meta, vague, tangentially related │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 this is how our islands become swamps
 
 I'd love to live in a bog, so many bugs.
 
 keep the spiders around, and they could feast on your toes (ouch)
 
 or, hear me out, or, they could spin webs and keep the other bugs out
 
 are you a bug or a girl or a guy or a bug or a girl or a
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/2939 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 "you look like a mess who can't take care of herself"
 
 oh haha that's because I'm a mess who can't take care of herself
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #114 bluesky#2 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 I'm new here, hey what's going on what's up
 
 'd love to make friends, alas I'm too far away from the spark.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 fediverse/4619 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want the political right to exist, because otherwise there'd be nothing to
 talk about a couple beers in and with no real stakes except a good time with
 your friend who you disagree with
 
 I want the political right to exist, because, y'know, life liberty and justice
 for all and all that
 
 both of those are "left of center" takes and I've definitely held both at
 different parts of my life
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘

--- #116 fediverse/6445 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
 but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
 
 it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
 goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
 to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
                                                           ───┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘

--- #117 messages/256 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I don't love nature because I want to be in it. I love nature because I
 believe it is important.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #118 fediverse/3434 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 me: "I don't care what anyone thinks as long as I'm a force for good"
 
 also me: "if anyone doesn't like me ever I'll throw myself off a bridge"
 
 also me: "hey watch this" dissolves into a puddle of acid
 
 also me: "the most important thing is to be good and learn lessons" what
 lessons are you learning from this post? "um. that I shouldn't?" ... shouldn't
 learn? "no, shouldn't post" -.-
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #119 fediverse/5853 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
 of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
 tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #120 fediverse/4910 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-vaguely-gestured-at │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 what if me and my friends were too cute for this world and all the
 conservatives who don't like queer people just fell in love and realized we're
 pretty freakin' cool if you can get past the strange parts
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #121 fediverse/1861 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 reminder to always have someone in your life who is more hardcore than you.
 
 also, try and always have someone in your life who is less hardcore than you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #122 fediverse/151 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: weed mention │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-95 thank you for inviting me, it was fun : ) I'm not usually that quiet
 - weed works a little different on me than it does on humans, and one of the
 side effects is auditory processing disorder. I couldn't really understand
 what most people were saying...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/3717 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
 too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
 
 they did that on purpose.
 
 that was less than a lifetime ago.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #124 fediverse/3463 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 I can relate to that impulse, which is why I'm liking this reply
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #125 fediverse/5530 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned-communism-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I literally want two things in my life:
 
 to be able to be high 24/7 without being inebriated and without suffering ill
 effects unless I want them
 
 communism
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #126 fediverse/3864 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 @user-1218 
 
 my ex boyfriend told me to
 
 also I thought it would be a good idea so I could find a job, but now I have
 one (sorta) soooo
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #127 messages/214 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
 twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
 going to try and do nothing for a bit.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #128 fediverse/4085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I can always tell when people who believe in me start thinking of me because I
 start feeling the urge to do pushups
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #129 fediverse/3932 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-889 
 
 don't give up!
 
 I know that feeling!
 
 it is defeated with persistence!
 
 don't give up!
 
 you can make it!
 
 there's always tomorrow!
 
 so don't give up!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/1195 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:
Image attachment
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 fediverse/3720 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
 
 I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
 glitter when they light up the room at dark
 
 it feels good to build up
 this new functionality
 
 it feels good to make things work and go
 "beep"
 when they turn on
 
 ... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
 just louder than the fans.
 
 looks at dwindling bank account
 
 oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
 
 I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #132 messages/992 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 "well done!" he said, and i can't stop thinking about how happy it made me
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #133 fediverse/677 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-78 
 
 I read about half of this:
 
 https://jo.wtf/6d.html
 
 before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
 listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
 whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
 
 and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
 my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
 
 [sorry for being gay on your timeline]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #134 fediverse/5517 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ... what was I thinking about again? oh yes video games are fun because they
 are a form of play, and all humans love to play. it is natural to their forms,
 just like it is natural to the form of a slinky to slink down stairs.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #135 fediverse/2100 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 you're good enough
 
 your efforts are worth it
 
 you are valid
 
 you are loved
 
 trust yourself, be honest with others, and find reasons to be affectionate to
 others
 
 breathe in, breathe out, and remember: everybody poops. How absurd. How silly.
 Can you really take anyone seriously if you imagine them pooping? I know I
 can't. Maybe that's juvenile, but it works for me so
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 messages/304 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Relax.
 
 Take it from me.
 
 I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
 you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘

--- #137 fediverse/3060 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 @user-1441 @user-670 @user-113 
 
 thanks. something always does, much to the disdain of my loved ones who are
 forced to catch me before I fall. But I literally can't do anything else but
 fall. It's like my body is heavier than theirs.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #138 fediverse/2774 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I want to emphasize that my mask is just as much a part of me as the other
 part.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #139 fediverse/1615 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 If Obi-Wan told his therapist that he felt a great disturbance in the force
 like billions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced they'd
 probably call him a necropath or something
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #140 fediverse/824 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I once heard that time doesn't pass when you're well and truly in the moment,
 and I thought "that's not true, I'm always losing track of the moment".
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/2794 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 "you have disgraced yourself"
 
 "not in my own eyes"
 
 has real "from my point of view the jedi are evil" energy
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #142 fediverse/4995 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 Went outside today for the first time in a week to take out my trash to the
 bin. Dunno why but I've been feeling a little down about my apartment, and how
 they can just take my home from me because I oh hang on I wrote a poem about
 this one sec: [boosts old poem]
I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to fucking pay me for it.  I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah, they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven. How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent life lived under this particular roof?  I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night? Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make you uncomfortable?  Have a decent life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘

--- #143 fediverse/228 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 @user-186 oh great, another video I'm going to have to show to all of my
 friends because it's so good.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #144 fediverse/4849 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sometimes I'll hear my cat meow the way she does when she wants something but
 then I turn around and she's halfway through giving herself a bath /shrug
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #145 fediverse_boost/6162 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  i always somehow manage to succeed at things because i'm too silly to realize i was supposed to fail lmao  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #146 fediverse/1131 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-850 
 
 true T.T I forgot about physical ailments. Was mostly thinking about
 interpersonal relationships because that's what's on my mind rn in my life.
 
 @user-5
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/169 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #148 fediverse/6232 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ... I don't want to be anyone else. I'll see where life takes me but I would
 rather die than be who I want to be.
 
 I'm fine, thank you very much.
... I don't want to be anyone else. I'll see where life takes me but I would rather die than be who I want to be.  I'm fine, thank you very much.
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #149 fediverse/3859 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "it's weird how depressed I am"
 
 says the girl who is always depressed
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/5602 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 "so wait why can't we go outside again"
 
 "I'm huuuuungry"
 
 girl we just ate
 
 "I'm tired"
 
 girl it's like 10am
 
 "can we snuggle?"
 
 yeah okay.
 
 that's why haha
                                                           ──────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #151 fediverse/2314 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 couldn't sleep. Oh well. Here's what I couldn't get out of my head:
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #152 fediverse/4855 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 "you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/4620 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 "is she bipolar or does she just consistently forget her estrogen injection?"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/5490 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 wao this is great I love being high why don't I do this more often?
 
 [oops cannabis-mentioned one sec]
 
 "BECAUSE YOU ALTER THE FABRIC OF REALITY WITH IT??"
 
 oh yeah that'd do it
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #155 fediverse/3689 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "mom can we have some kirby's air ride"
 
 "sure we have kirby's air ride at home"
 
 the kirby's air ride at home:
a picture of a pre-release image from Nintendo Power showing an obviously unfinished version of Kirby's Air Ride the Nintendo Gamecube game... except for Nintendo 64. Clearly it was delayed.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 fediverse/6320 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned-some-random-portion-of-everything-I-say-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 ask an llm what a crazy man thinks
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/words dot peehdeff
 
 I actually think I'm sane btw
 
 I just smoke a lot of weed
                                                           ────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #157 fediverse/5831 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
 
 all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
 low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
 these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
 I say so why bother teehee
                                                           ───────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #158 bluesky#36 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 people are terrified, yet within me I feel a bright brilliant light.
                                                           ─┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘

--- #159 messages/422 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 The nicest thing anyone ever called me was "the fel communion" and it happened
 in a dream. Alas, that dreams might affect reality. If only ever-so-slightly.
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--- #160 fediverse/5673 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
 to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
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--- #161 fediverse/6315 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 "yay! now that the war is won, we can go back to being moderate!"
 
 not ideal.
 
 did you forget to be for something when you set yourself against your foe?
 
 (if my girlfriend reads this: I'm not referring to the conversation we had
 about that one thing, but I have been thinking)
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--- #162 fediverse/2424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
 
 if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
 
 a city that I don't know.
 
 my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but... 
 
 at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
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--- #163 fediverse/1673 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #164 fediverse/5686 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 my friends tell me stories and I build my ideas for relationships based on
 their pain.
 
 I am always haunted by questions they don't want to answer.
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--- #165 fediverse/2313 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Gonna take another nap, last one was only 3 hours long. I'll sleep on my back
 this time, or else I'll rest for 3 hours I swear.
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--- #166 fediverse/3058 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 @user-1441 @user-670 @user-113 
 
 currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
 "can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
 no thanks, guess I'll die
 
 (in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #167 messages/175 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 I love my mom. She has never once harmed me. I love my dad. He is so precious
 and important to me. I love my cat, my sisters, my friends and my lovers. I
 love my cousins and my half-siblings and all of them put together. I love
 every human I meet, there's nothing but kindness [replete], so why am I
 unendingly [yearning for] purchase? [a sense of stability or hand hold that a
 climber might use to put one foot in front of another]
 
 In all of my trials, the errors of my denials, here on this earth I am defeat.
 
 Goodnight, sweet moon, my dearest precious boy. Goodnight, for tomorrow's your
 beckoning ploy. [pillow?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/4804 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 I love it when wine doesn't work because it "failed to open program.exe"
 
 ... okay, can you tell me why it failed?
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--- #169 fediverse/4000 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-889 
 
 Don't give up!
 
 At least... not forever.
 
 It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
 
 It's okay to lie down and cry
 
 The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
 need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
 
 the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
 alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
 
 Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
 know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
 
 You'll be okay, I know it
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--- #170 fediverse/3437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #171 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #172 fediverse/2280 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol-spirituality-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 Today the tone seemed to have shifted, there was a lot more resolution as I
 rode by. What a feeling, to be bolstered when shaking!
 
 Like swimming for land after just a bit too long at sea, or collapsing into
 bed after another day of wage slavery.
 
 I'm proud of that instinct, the sudden clarity of unified determination.
 
 I'm proud of that blessing, the gift of an ace of hearts.
 
 It's not June anymore, but I'm proud anyway.
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--- #173 fediverse/2090 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
 tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
 they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #174 fediverse/2733 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-138 
 
 Oh! It's sunday! thanks for the reminder, today's my HRT shot day.
 
 this week has kind of been a fugue state for me haha been busy doing things of
 little importance.
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--- #175 fediverse/2292 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I don't know who needs to hear this after staying up all night driving, but
 it's ideal to get where you're going with at least a day to rest. The body can
 only do so much, and isn't it better to be fresh?
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--- #176 fediverse/3937 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 awwwww, I wish I was tacticool : (
 
 sure would be nice to have SOMETHING going for me >.>
 
 ah well guess I'm more of the "eepy sleepy" type teehee
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--- #177 fediverse/4760 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: shit-drugs-and-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 how it started: "I want to get stoned and play mechabellum (shit, drugs
 mentioned (shit, cursing mentioned))
 
 how it's going: [see attached picture]
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--- #178 fediverse/3380 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 do what you love and the money will come. 
 My father told me that.
 I hope these words will help you.
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--- #179 fediverse/761 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism       │
 └──────────────────────┘


 would be great if all the good people had all the money. Too bad it kinda
 feels like the opposite. Huh wonder why that is . . . ?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 fediverse/4189 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad.
 
 I don't know why.
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--- #181 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #182 fediverse/5127 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 I love my family!
 
 I love all humans equally.
 
 But I spend more time thinking about my family, so I have more opportunities
 to love my family than all humans.
 
 therefore, I love my family more than anyone else in the world!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/5374 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-138 
 
 me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
 
 [a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
 
 ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
 
 [they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #184 fediverse/2067 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-910 
 
 he doesn't speak from the heart. he speaks what he hears, because he's just
 trying to get through each moment. Life weighs heavily on you when you're old
 as dirt, and after a while you just sorta start being yourself without caring
 about the narrative.
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--- #185 fediverse/2372 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: pol          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I had a job lined up, but with great personal change came great societal
 change. And I got swept up. Now here I am, somehow finding myself blown on the
 winds of fate to stand atop a mountain and survey the lands below.
 
 I see the path to our bright future, and it is wide enough for us all to walk.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 messages/500 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 So long as capital remains, "living a good life" is a distraction.
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--- #187 messages/143 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I always figured if people didn't like what I was saying they'd contest me so
 I could change it.
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--- #188 fediverse/1281 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 okay I'm down
 
 (a little stoned tho, was talking to my soul hehe)
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--- #189 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #190 fediverse/3446 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 if I had an alternate mirror version of me that was almost exactly the same
 except one of us liked almond butter instead of peanut butter...
 
 I think we could probably manage two universes better than one.
 
 it'd be nice to have someone who liked every single game that I did.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #191 fediverse/2529 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 low key kinda pissed that I fell off my bike. Now the lyrics "though my body
 is black and blue dot dot dot" are a lot less condemning -.-
 
 ah, well, maybe it means there's less conflict in my future, which is nice.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #192 fediverse/1001 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 perhaps that "light touch on reality" is what makes these pieces of art
 resonate with me. I think you're beautiful and have a good heart.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #193 fediverse/1143 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ah, but my dear... your "wisdom" has side effects.
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--- #194 messages/146 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 maybe if I slept until the end of time,
 I'd do better on the way back.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #195 bluesky#15 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 I honor my country the same way I honor my mother.
 
 By being the best me that I can be.
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--- #196 fediverse/2906 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I want to live in a world where people die when they're bored instead of old.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #197 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #198 fediverse/4331 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I feel like any family member that cared about another person would forgive
 them for how they behaved in the past. like... "I was a stressed and depressed
 little boy, now I'm a blossoming flower. Treat me like a flower. This is who I
 am."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #199 fediverse/2221 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1053 
 
 I always wave at everyone I see, and I often talk to people on the train
 (where there's mikes, tee-hee)
 
 But I'll see what I can do. Perhaps resting in a park someone who wants to
 know me with my salmon colored bike and my blue helmet will chance upon me and
 we might get a chance to chat.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #200 fediverse/1603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1037 
 
 I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
 it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
 up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
Image attachment
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