=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mh- │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-1043 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just stood there and thought and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/2104 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── @user-192 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about myself. So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/4526 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some gasoline" my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us" and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was neurotypical. ... intrusive thoughts are not typical ah. Right. Nevermind then. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/3437 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │ └─────────────────────────────┘ @user-579 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually mine I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works. usually. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/618 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── Can't stop thinking [the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/5636 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted" screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them. and all they saw were the outtakes. I bet they'd see a completely different point of me, but they never talk to me so they don't know me. oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed. who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/6449 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───── currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted. I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production elements after the initial bingewrite. I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know the further..." ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘ --- #7 fediverse/581 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-428 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or... something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an image that could be edited. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 notes/new-texting-app-idea --- ══════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────── when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder forming letters in the sky anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after typing your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about the things you say. Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet. Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/814 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │ ║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │ ║ implementation of my impending doom. │ ║ │ ║ ... what are you even saying bro │ ║ │ ║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │ ║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │ ║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │ ║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │ ║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │ ║ right what was I saying │ ║ │ ║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │ ║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │ ║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │ ║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │ ║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │ ║ isolated and en │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/4654 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────── ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │ └────────────────────────────────────────┘ gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers that be?? [that guide me??] who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until I couldn't walk. [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/3975 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── @user-1631 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently. I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything. downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not ideal. ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point you toward people who "get" you. like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's just... me, but different shades of me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/1919 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── do you ever just look at the sky and think "who gave you the right to be a single color? in this world of infinite complexity, how dare you be the one thing with a consistent color?" and then the sun sets and you think "ohhhh I get it now, the color is always changing" meanwhile the sky is shaking it's head like "bro, no, I'm just the scattered diffusion of light waves from the sun. The sky is black." and the earth spins on... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse_boost/6155 --- ◀─╔═══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════───────╗ ║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ║ │ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ It's unthinkable, really. │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ The good news is, I'm not like that. │ ║ ║ │ │ ║ ║ │ Me? Mostly harmless. │ ║ ║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║ ╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣ ║ similar │ chronological │ different ║ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧───────╝─▶ --- #14 fediverse/5300 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/1293 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-921 where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking about ... are you talking about me [silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/219 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │ └──────────────────────────────┘ sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/2297 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my mind one by one getting up to write them down? forgetting them all. I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe. up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets. [they're called toots here, dummy] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/938 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── @user-649 same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put content warnings on things that feel intense. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/1395 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: evidenceless-fear-mongering-I-guess │ └─────────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-973 CW: me being paranoid whenever something like this happens I think about how we rely on digital infrastructure to understand the status of the world. And then I think about who controls that infrastructure. kinda makes me wonder if it's blocked for a certain group of people who they temporarily don't want to be able to tell their distant friends and family about anything going on around them but like, I'm not a doctor, I'm just a person. It's probably just a networking outage. That kind of thing happens all the time because some technician accidentally unplugged a server while working on a different nearby server and WHOOPS now Cloudflare is down. Wild. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3475 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ |