=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
mind one by one
getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
[they're called toots here, dummy]
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1503 ---
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│ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
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part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
something I had no intentions of being associated with
phew idk what that means but surely it's important
something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #2 messages/267 ---
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I wonder how many things I've forgot? More every minute, I'd say, and though I
try and chronicle them all... What's there to say?
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--- #3 fediverse/2496 ---
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... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
if sleep won't come I'll write down the thoughts that are keeping me up. that
usually makes it easier.
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--- #4 fediverse/3487 ---
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@user-1218
I like to have notes for things I found that will be useful someday, but not
today. I also throw in poetry that I write while I'm waiting for something to
happen (or if I have an idea that I know I'll forget)
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--- #5 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #6 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #7 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #8 fediverse/5793 ---
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I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
the DL or whateverr?
... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #9 fediverse/1612 ---
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@user-1040
also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
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--- #10 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #11 fediverse/1609 ---
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│ CW: mh- │
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@user-1043
I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
stood there and thought
and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #12 fediverse/4554 ---
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
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can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
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--- #13 fediverse/6111 ---
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whoops forgot to post these last night, how silly of me, surely there wasn't a
reason I better just hit that blue button on all of them to be safe
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--- #14 fediverse/3444 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
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I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #15 fediverse/4692 ---
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what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #16 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #17 fediverse/1014 ---
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│ CW: politics │
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@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #18 messages/416 ---
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Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
because all things are defined in waves.
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--- #19 fediverse/3437 ---
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│ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
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@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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--- #20 fediverse/2434 ---
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I spent most of today asleep. I guess that's what I get for chatting all night
with a stranger. gonna putz around a bit, should be nice.
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--- #21 fediverse/2229 ---
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@user-1203
ah, like writing down a url on a note-card for a friend
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--- #22 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #23 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
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when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
forming letters in the sky
anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
typing
your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
the things you say.
Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #24 fediverse/3645 ---
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me, sitting down at my computer in order to be distracted:
"I should make and eat a sandwich"
me, sitting down at my computer with a PB&J and peanut-butter fingers:
"I should be productive"
me, sitting at my "work desk":
"I'm hungry. And I'm bored. And I can't stop thinking about this video game I
haven't played in a year."
repeat
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--- #25 fediverse/4468 ---
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oh look at me, typing my thoughts while doing chores. And you all get to
listen, you lucky ducks ; )
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--- #26 fediverse/4428 ---
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@user-1669
sorry, I'm on a roll. Gotta speak my mind, even if it has other stuff bouncing
around in it. I hope you understand : )
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--- #27 fediverse/5853 ---
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everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
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--- #28 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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--- #29 fediverse/5300 ---
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how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
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--- #30 fediverse/2991 ---
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okay so if yesterday was a
"everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
type of day, and today is a
"whatever mom I don't even care"
type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
"I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
type of day, and the day after a
"I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
kind of day, with the following being wildcards
... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #31 fediverse/1477 ---
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@user-883
hmmmm I'm running mediamtx on the same computer that I'm running the streaming
script on. I'll try with 127.0.0.1
I don't think I updated my system since it was working last time. I'll scroll
through our chat and see if I can find any hints.
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--- #32 fediverse/1293 ---
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│ CW: re: fedi meta, the bad space, fediblock, misleading and untrue cw, uspol, speedrunning discourse, industrial revolution, aquarium tips │
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@user-921
where tf is all this discourse I always hear about like what are ya'll talking
about
... are you talking about me
[silly intrusive thoughts teehee pay no mind]
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--- #33 fediverse/618 ---
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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--- #34 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #35 fediverse/5782 ---
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sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
I hope that's okay
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--- #36 fediverse/2523 ---
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I just want to stress that most people know more than me
slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #37 fediverse/718 ---
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@user-547
That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
reread what you wrote and think
perfect, no notes
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--- #38 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #39 fediverse/2041 ---
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@user-1049
I haven't heard of that but I'll look into it! Honestly I'm more likely to
write my own script, it shouldn't be too hard just altering the /etc/hosts
file and then changing it back in ~15 minutes with a cron-job, as Nikky says
down below. I like things that I make myself because then if it breaks I know
who to blame! And who to go to to fix it. >: )
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--- #40 fediverse/5329 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: the-world-mentioned │
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trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
linux or whatever...
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--- #41 fediverse/3680 ---
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it's probably a good idea to write pseudocode, then real code, instead of
starting with real code, and bugfixing something incomplete and more difficult
to reason with.
unless you write real code easier than pseudocode. idk do what works for you.
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--- #42 fediverse_boost/4925 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗
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║ │ still waiting to find the energy and headspace to write an irritated blog post about why the fact that most toolchains are like 80% of the learning curve for those who are just getting into programming (especially on windows) │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #43 fediverse/2651 ---
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kinda tempted to make like, 20 different accounts on like, 20 different
mastodon instances and just have them repost all of the things I've written in
the past one-by-one-by-one until someone notices and calls me out on it
might get some more conversation, at least
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--- #44 fediverse/961 ---
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║ hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today? │
║ │
║ first I should get out of bed, │
║ │
║ then I should clean my self, │
║ │
║ then I should feed my self, │
║ │
║ then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many │
║ thoughts, │
║ │
║ then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a │
║ productive way to exercise my brain │
║ │
║ I should probably get back to my friends, │
║ │
║ and oh dear my cat wants some attention. │
║ │
║ This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit │
║ │
║ now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap. │
║ │
║ Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food. │
║ │
║ After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax │
║ │
║ by doomscrolling on Mastodon. │
║ │
║ Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond) │
║ │
║ and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes! │
║ │
║ Well, standing up is exhausting, │
║ │
║ so I should probably fall back asleep. │
║ │
║ What a productive day we've been having, │
║ │
║ for all of this past week. │
║ │
║ Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two │
║ │
║ maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m │
![A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly. The text reads: "maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]"](/similar-different/media/67d820708ae5dc6a.png "A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly. The text reads: \"maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]\"")
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--- #45 fediverse/1715 ---
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@user-246
true, but what is a poem if not a silly construction of phrases? Those words
don't belong together, what are you doing! And yet it fills you will a feeling
that the author intended, thus being poetry as a joke.
problem is if everyone says the same joke, it gets kinda... old... hence why
you should express yourself as much as you can.
I wonder if fewer people are "alternative" these days because they all started
hanging out on the internet and trying to differentiate themselves amongst
each other instead of amongst "normal people"? Weird thought, srry haha
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--- #46 fediverse/5663 ---
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I'm going to write some lua code that doesn't do anything useful and which I
don't share with anyone
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--- #47 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #48 fediverse/1225 ---
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@user-883
don't worry I can sift through junk. I'll write my own using yours as a
reference to debug why mine isn't working. "oh probably because I didn't do
this part here"
also, bad news. Guess I'm doing C programming. What should I make? I'm
thinking Tic Tac Toe or maybe a really basic Asteroids or something
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--- #49 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
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Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #50 fediverse/2120 ---
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sometimes I think performing my art was just an excuse to use Linux. At least,
some of my art.
But hey, I'm not complaining, it's awesome.
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--- #51 fediverse/6371 ---
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may they pass on my hard drives as read-only memories like ashes on a shelf or
stories of most wealth
I hope I reconnect with all my old signal contacts. wonder what they're up to.
I bet they're cool now. ;)
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--- #52 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #53 fediverse/406 ---
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"imagine if this was the last thing you remembered"me, last night, in a state
of mind that I don't remember today
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--- #54 messages/489 ---
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Many autistic people will identify one particular way to do things and then be
only capable of doing it that way. Like, falling asleep on the left side with
their legs just so, and never learning any other ways to sleep on. But what
happens if for example they are wounded in the arm they rest upon? They would
have impaired sleeping capabilities! Not ideal.
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--- #55 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #56 fediverse/2104 ---
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #57 fediverse/1617 ---
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daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the
internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors
for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and
make friends
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--- #58 fediverse/3058 ---
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@user-1441 @user-670 @user-113
currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
"can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
no thanks, guess I'll die
(in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #59 fediverse/2848 ---
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oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
on the same team, and should be working together.
that's the dream, at least.
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--- #60 fediverse/612 ---
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Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #61 fediverse/5452 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
once I'm asleep.
But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
up a tent?
I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
mentioned one second.
I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
behalf.
I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #62 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #63 fediverse/3925 ---
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most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #64 fediverse/6178 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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... wait, shit I forgot I was about to go do a thing, ttyl
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--- #65 fediverse/4128 ---
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@user-883
wait until they learn what you've been working on while they were getting
better at... whatever they're more experienced in than you.
the computer pictures you post are legitimately some of the coolest I've
known! I don't exactly go looking for that kind of stuff because it's not my
thing, but I appreciate seeing all the neat stuff you're working on.
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--- #66 fediverse/4180 ---
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@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #67 fediverse/4171 ---
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me, waking up in the morning and reading my own posts
alright what's the damage this time
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--- #68 fediverse/3756 ---
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│ CW: LLM-mentioned │
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@user-1071
I have plenty of things made, but none of it organized : (
Kinda makes me wish I could like... train an LLM on my social media posts and
use it programmatically somehow to help me organize my stuff into different
categories according to what kind of topic or style they were written in.
Hmmm......... There's no way I could do it, I mean, there's no way I could
organize and edit my stuff, but with the help of a computer I might.
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--- #69 messages/140 ---
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Remind me again why we need computers that are so mind numbingly fast that we
can't possibly hope to understand their entire stack?
Oh yeah, so we aren't able to understand their stack. How could I forget.
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--- #70 fediverse/2954 ---
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whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #71 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #72 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #73 fediverse/1321 ---
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whenever I look away they put more work at the end of my to-do list. or
sometimes in the middle. It's like they care less about the destination and
more about the continuous arduous prolonged manifestation of articulation.
>.>
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--- #74 fediverse/5744 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned │
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don't wanna rush ya'll but every day that goes by they remove
"enemy-of-my-enemy"s from the equation.
oh, hang on you're just a cute computer nerd. Nevermind, go back to
programming or writing fanfiction or sleeping like a cute cat! Thanks for
letting me CORRUPT YOUR SPACE AND VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES OF CONTENTMENT AND
EMOTIONAL SAFETY whoa sorry dunno where that came from I, uh, think I need to
do evil every time I make something important? It's like, a cosmic balance
kind of thing. I notice that after I write a banger poem or something I always
end up doing something evil afterwards like snapping at my girlfriend or
letting someone down or even just accidentally breaking one of my things. why
why why does it have to be that way? why why why am I so confusing of the way
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--- #75 fediverse/111 ---
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@user-95 that's why I like programming - it's my favorite form of spelling.
i'm not very good at remembering all the names and the numbers, but I like to
think I can make things do a function.
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--- #76 fediverse/4546 ---
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oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
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--- #77 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #78 fediverse/2412 ---
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@user-1209 @user-1262
just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
means you don't wanna be in her way =P
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--- #79 fediverse/4653 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned-sleeping-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
phew, just got back from a long nap and I had such a lovely dream! Gonna write
down everything I can remember in my dream journal, will letcha know when I
have something to share.
Also... sorry about the sun. I have no idea if it was worth it because I woke
up quite a bit later. Ah well anyway gotta do some writing, I hope everyone
has a pleasant day. Make sure you eat nutrients and stay hydrated and do your
stretches and work on your posture and all that.
vegetables have minerals, fruits have vitamins, rice-and-beans or meat have
protein, and oils and fats have calories. try and eat a lot of different
colors of veggies and a lot of different colors of fruits (a green fruit and a
green vegetable are not necessarily the same nutritionally)
well brb goodnight gonna drink some water
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--- #80 fediverse/6363 ---
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║ somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a │
║ single clue why. │
║ │
║ HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING │
║ PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES? │
║ THINK, MENARDI, THINK │
║ │
║ gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in │
║ my backlog for a year at this point │
║ │
║ WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES │
║ OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION? │
║ │
║ gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my │
║ character sheet │
║ │
║ SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill, │
║ -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they │
║ can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice │
║ because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down) │
║ │
║ ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's │
║ just hard to work myself up to getting up... │
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--- #81 fediverse/1334 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #82 fediverse/6449 ---
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currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #83 fediverse/3937 ---
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awwwww, I wish I was tacticool : (
sure would be nice to have SOMETHING going for me >.>
ah well guess I'm more of the "eepy sleepy" type teehee
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--- #84 fediverse/1431 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #85 fediverse/4562 ---
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I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting
like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands.
If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think
straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own.
I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and
people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own
rates.
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--- #86 fediverse/4744 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #87 fediverse/4940 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
what if I smoked weed and played video games after a long period of time away
from the internet which I missed dearly
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--- #88 fediverse/5460 ---
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if you sit down to write and nothing comes to mind, then either nothing needs
to be said or maybe you should spend time reading instead.
... okey dokey, time to read I guess.
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--- #89 fediverse/1309 ---
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@user-883
just realized when I got disconnected it gave me a different username, so if
you've been messaging me I haven't been getting it. Ooops. relogging now to
try and fix it.
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--- #90 messages/685 ---
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If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
pajamas, c'mon.
If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
situation
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--- #91 fediverse/4973 ---
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okay, uhm, I'm back again because someone told me to forward this to relevant
people
relevant link so google doesn't have to know that you're all googling the same
thing at the same time...
http://naeb.brit.org/uses/
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--- #92 fediverse/723 ---
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Honestly if anyone wanted to just... take any of my stuff, even if they were
just going to sell it, I'd probably give it to them? People in my life say I
don't function well in a capitalist society. I guess I just trust everyone
equally.
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--- #93 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #94 notes/dear-me ---
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dear me:
DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
that's all, fuck off and be helpful
... wow, rude.
yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
helpful.
useful.
many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
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--- #95 fediverse/1157 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #96 fediverse/3766 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
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--- #97 fediverse/2336 ---
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I think I might stay out late tonight. For the past week I've been going home
before dark, but I might stay late tonight.
Tell your friends, maybe you'll see me. Preferably one-on-one, because social
media posts can be filtered both non-and-consentually.
Unless they're sleeping after having driven from a great long ways. They can
sleep. 🥰
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--- #98 fediverse/4537 ---
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ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
definitely why.
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--- #99 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #100 fediverse/1769 ---
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the feral urge to post unfinished projects on the internet and ask for
guidance or motivation
the civilized urge to keep them on a flash drive and swap them with people you
trust in real life and ask them to finish it while you work on their stuff
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--- #101 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #102 fediverse/4336 ---
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gonna play more video games, currently have 11 tabs of written posts open in
my browser...
(okay a few of them get a little off-topic, but hey I have ADHD what do you
expect of me)
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--- #103 fediverse/4252 ---
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sometimes I think I'd be better without social media.
And then I remember that it's the only way I know to talk.
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--- #104 fediverse/4853 ---
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┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #105 fediverse/2386 ---
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Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
the other kind.
I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
that's enough for me.
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--- #106 fediverse_boost/5470 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════───────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ I like to leave notes on stuff I've modified so that I and any future owner (after i die or need to sell stuff to survive or whatever) can figure out what I've done, since more documentation might have vanished by the time it's needed │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #107 fediverse/2288 ---
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... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
I gotta lotta things to eat, but I'm so tired and kinda dirty. Maybe a shower
first. TTYL
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--- #108 fediverse/4650 ---
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my life is already ruined. I pee my pants all the time and I got no dollars.
why shouldn't I be strange on the internet?
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--- #109 fediverse/1246 ---
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@user-883
hehe if I don't understand how it works it's difficult for me to use things.
My Linux friends get so exasperated with me because I'm like "cool script
gimme like 2 days to figure it out" and they're like "bro just use these
flags" and I'm like "no"
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--- #110 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
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--- #111 fediverse/5673 ---
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darn girlfriends snuggling me to death. lemme type pls I got psychic ramblings
to profess earnestly and honestly and truely
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--- #112 fediverse/3474 ---
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@user-883
true, but much the same way people will rebel against inconvenience by writing
passwords on sticky notes, so too might they put SSH keys onto the nearest
flash drive without validating that it hasn't been compromised. There's
tradeoffs everywhere I guess.
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--- #113 fediverse/4266 ---
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whoops, forgot to post these all at once last night. Here ya go
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--- #114 fediverse/5880 ---
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I legitimately think computers should write code and software engineers should
write legislation and lawyers should resolve problem tickets made by aggrieved
citizens while judges do their best to just keep the boat floating
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--- #115 fediverse/5403 ---
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I expect nothing less from my people and prepare for theirs to be dumb as
bricks.
I am often disappointed in both directions, but that's okay, because I planned
for that too! Maybe that wasn't too smart of me, but I'd expect nothing less
than dumb mistakes made once from myself 😋 🥴 :ms_confused: 🤪
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--- #116 fediverse/3401 ---
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@user-1218
thank you, that's good to hear 🥰
EDIT: I was worried for a moment haha I guess my reach is pretty small so idk.
I think people stopped screenshotting my posts and putting them elsewhere
after I dashed everyone's hopes on my sleeve. And honestly I kinda deserve it
haha like what was I even thinking
... I wasn't thinking I was just feeling, and doing. Oh well.
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--- #117 fediverse/3929 ---
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are you about to delete a post that you thought was funny, but actually wasn't
once you wrote it down and read it to yourself?
STOP
write it down on a post-it and put it under your desk or behind a drawer
put it in a .txt file in a random directory on your computer
send it as a text message to yourself
write it down, take a picture of it, and then burn the paper
y'know, typical stuff like that
do this and I guarantee you won't regret it
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--- #118 fediverse/4208 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-and-weird │
└────────────────────────┘
my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #119 messages/758 ---
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what if we got a bunch of computer programmers in a room and all had them
write the same program, line by line. Like, if they each contributed to the
discussion about what should be placed next.
"I wrote a for loop that does what we're looking for on line 43 through 69"
and then someone else says "nice" and everyone's like "oh you"
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--- #120 fediverse/3226 ---
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if your man page is longer than a list of options and their usage and a
paragraph or twenty of how to use the software... then you need to abstract,
and break your code into multiple purpose-built applications.
do one thing, and do it right. alternatively, do one set of things, and do
them concisely.
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--- #121 fediverse/5785 ---
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I cast... spell of the internet!
[reinstalls azerothcore]
or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
meaningful?
but I don't wanna - don't care
but I'm tired - take a nap
but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
but I'm lazy - no you're not
but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
but I wanna think - you can do that
anywhere
I gotta be near my computer - nope
what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
I don't like outside - outsides all it is
stop taking things from me T.T - yes
life used to be soooooo different
it's like I was a completely different
I'm strange now, almost like I got
possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
pls don't commit thought crimes,
use content warnings
okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
![I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE](/similar-different/media/de82ddb559f9f6bb.png "I cast... spell of the internet! [reinstalls azerothcore] or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful? but I don't wanna - don't care but I'm tired - take a nap but I'm stressed out - don't do chore but I'm lazy - no you're not but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere I gotta be near my computer - nope what if I wanna play games - flip $$$ flipping coin isn't a real game - focus I don't like outside - outsides all it is stop taking things from me T.T - yes life used to be soooooo different it's like I was a completely different I'm strange now, almost like I got possessed like a disease [ew noooo] pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE")
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--- #122 fediverse/4507 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: AI-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
"... while we still have much to learn about thing, blah blah blah blah about
thing."
"... it's important to remember that thing about the other thing, and you
should always keep in mind considerations when considering doing the thing
this article is about."
in relation to the picture: bro my cat is not going to recognize a picture of
themselves. they don't "get" selfies. what are you even talking about, do your
job editors and stop trying to take cheaper shortcuts because you're fucking
lazy.
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--- #123 fediverse/3117 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #124 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #125 fediverse/4929 ---
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Art is only useful when skillfully applied, and Twitter taught ya to speak
whenever a thought passed your mind.
Really makes ya think
Really makes ya think thoughts like "I should post this on the internet"
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--- #126 fediverse/6458 ---
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gonna pre-emptively backup my fediverse archive haha just-in-case I get banned
for spamming or something teehee (totally reasonable teebeeh)
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--- #127 fediverse/4757 ---
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@user-882
I kinda figure that people follow me for the alarms and the curses and the
manic political dysphoria. I do try and CW when I can but sometimes I get to
the end and it's like... okay I got 4 characters remaining, pol~ maybe?
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--- #128 fediverse/3722 ---
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@user-1218
playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
"sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
edibles.
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--- #129 fediverse/4855 ---
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"you should be acting like these people want to destroy you."me, to me
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--- #130 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #131 fediverse/219 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
└──────────────────────────────┘
sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #132 fediverse/3776 ---
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whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis or thisssss make sure if you're
doing K's that you have at least four
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--- #133 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #134 fediverse/2291 ---
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you sly dogs, you got me posting again.
unrelated, but I think this is the first script I ever wrote!
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--- #135 fediverse/4572 ---
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goodnight,
people-who-all-agree-with-me-but-who-I-still-rant-to-anyway-because-I'm-full-of
-rage, talk to you tomorrow. or whenever.
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--- #136 fediverse/222 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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--- #137 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #138 fediverse/4654 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #139 fediverse/2251 ---
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learned a lot today
found some cool notes on the ground
I think one was a shopping list, and the other was something I don't think
anyone would miss
rode my bike all 'round
and now I am TIRE-d xD xD
ahhhh well, gonna nap now.
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--- #140 fediverse/3961 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: witcherie │
└──────────────────────┘
Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well, so the next
person has an easier time of it.
unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
excellent vision.
Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #141 fediverse/1233 ---
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low key kinda wish someone would kidnap me and lock me in a room with nothing
but a c compiler and strict orders to only work on whatever I want
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--- #142 fediverse/1870 ---
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why would I want other people using my computer? They don't know how to use my
computer! They might break something or mess something up or automatically
read/edit my files that are stored in standard locations through the usage of
a script which automagically scans and ransomwares machines on the internet
who store their files in specific standardized locations! no thank you.
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--- #143 fediverse/3164 ---
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it fails after like 15 or 20 scrapes but I think that's just their scraping
policy. They don't have a robots.txt file that I could find. So... just run
it, then come back every 15 to 30 minutes and restart it until you're done.
Maybe I could increase the sleep duration? one sec lemme try that
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--- #144 fediverse/6271 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #145 fediverse/1892 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: C-programming-and-alcohol-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I want to write C programs with threads and manual memory management and
function pointers and lots and lots of arrays and I'm not even kidding
... wait a minute I literally don't have a job, why am I not writing C
programs right now?
BRB I got something important to do, where's my vodka --> pkill firefox
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--- #146 fediverse/3234 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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--- #147 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #148 fediverse/5602 ---
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"so wait why can't we go outside again"
"I'm huuuuungry"
girl we just ate
"I'm tired"
girl it's like 10am
"can we snuggle?"
yeah okay.
that's why haha
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--- #149 fediverse/2562 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: rich-apologia │
└──────────────────────┘
among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
"eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
stay working.
then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
besties.
they are basically pets
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--- #150 fediverse/5961 ---
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@user-138
maybe it's evil hackers - idk that's beyond my expertise - good luck : )
(I'd need to see the piece of technology to work on it. I'm a hardware kinda
[girl, but pronounced guy])
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--- #151 fediverse/507 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
reality.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #152 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 fediverse/1354 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
whose idea was it to optimize our candy toward the ones with the most sugar?
[wait a minute I got like 4 toots written but not posted, what the heck where
did they come from? I'm gonna post them without reading them]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #154 fediverse/924 ---
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@user-635
is that where everyone's sitting in a coffee shop with the most detached
expression on their face because they're focused on their computers and not on
the social experience around them?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #155 fediverse/2945 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
my favorite feeling is when I hear my fans running intermittently on my
computer even though I'm not doing anything and there aren't any new processes
in my resource manager
like... that feels like a virus, but I'm on Linux, so what do I know right?
it's probably not somebody deleting all my art. or perhaps just selective
parts. Backups are a loooooot to manage >.>
... or even just mining crypto-coins lol, botnets amiright??
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #156 fediverse/552 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-398
you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
this hill
(jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #157 fediverse/6421 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
I wish I could reply to a post I was currently writing partway through writing
the post I was writing when I thought of a reply to the post I was writing
which was being written by me the writing writer posting on blogs about color
tvs
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #158 fediverse/4243 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
so I guess I'm a chaotic-good witch paladin?
and yes I know "chaotic" and "paladin" don't usually go together, but...
somehow I make it work
... I should do more pushups. Practice with my sword some more. That part of
me's sorta been asleep for four-ish months.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #159 fediverse/2524 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal │
└──────────────────────┘
nixed my job offer today because something told me to stay in town.
called my ex-boyfriend an asshole today, so he's probably not going to keep
paying my rent.
sold the shares of stock that my grandfather gifted me as inheritance, so I'm
no longer a capitalist I guess.
at least my elbow doesn't hurt anymore. I didn't get outside today but I
cleared a lot of blockers for the coming tomorrows.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/4716 ---
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"hey you're cool, can I get your socials?"
sure, I mostly post on the fediverse
"what's that"
oh, like... Mastodon
"oh, no haha I meant like a real social media"
ah. well I make comments on Reddit sometimes.
you make them sound like a jerk
no they're cool they're just misinformed. the fediverse is the future, or
like, something like it, I'm sure. who wants to go back to capitalism? not me
hehe
... I'm getting silly, gonna go to sleep.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/1251 ---
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@user-889
it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : (
you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm
and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know
exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it
you can message me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #162 fediverse/5748 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
...zzzZZZzzz...
whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #163 fediverse/938 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
@user-649
same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
content warnings on things that feel intense.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #164 fediverse/832 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: one more thing sorry going to sleep now │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
EDIT from much later: I wanted to add that being interrupted is great because
it means that my characters can be deleted by a power outage or internet
breakage or inter-system intentional delete-age, or even just forgetting to
save before turning off my computer... fate will hide the words I'm not meant
to say.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #165 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
└─────────────────────────┘
"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #166 fediverse/6101 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
║ oh look at me, cargo-culting wine commands because I can't be bothered to │
║ guess whether the windows software running on my computer is doing evil │
║ microsoft things as part of the drivers or whatever. I mean, there's gotta be │
║ a reason that microsoft's software runs slower on linux than linux software │
║ runs on windows, right? │
║ │
║ ... wait I forget exactly where I was going with this, are you saying there's │
║ a keylogger built into the wine / windows environment software? no, but I'm │
║ not NOT saying that. listen I'm too eepy sleepy for hardcore computing like │
║ that! rubbin' bits between your fingers and twiddling the nose of cutie pies │
║ is only sorta my jam - the rest of the time I like to snuggle up with a pillow │
║ shaped like a pillow and then fall asleep to the tune of the tortured souls │
║ being reaped from the afterlife and given new life as seeds and berries in │
║ this one. oh, did you think death had no other homes? all things are defined │
║ in waves, something something samsara but like, different because humans cant │
║ be rite │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧════──────┘
--- #167 fediverse/2911 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/4486 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
right now.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #170 fediverse/1990 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
║ When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front │
║ seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare. │
║ │
║ My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would │
║ watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of │
║ your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to │
║ be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk. │
║ │
║ And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking. │
║ │
║ anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack │
║ while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to │
║ be inserted in order to play the game. │
║ │
║ which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough. │
║ I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk │
║ anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk │
║ information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of │
║ plastic again! Then pass it to your fr │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #171 fediverse/1410 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #172 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #173 fediverse/1295 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: Mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #174 fediverse/4081 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: -mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
what if life was an array of experiences orchestrated by the whims of
determinism and arranged as a performance just for you, waiting with bated
breath for your reaction, your thunderous applause, your scathing review, your
rowdy cheers, your celebratory laughter and your wails of despair
... tell me, when's the last time you wailed? laughed? cheered? scathed?
thundered? bated, and breathed?
I'm so sick of computers fucking telling me how to feel
fuck you, computer, and your pinpricks of information gleaned from the
internet at large
do a better job of... of... wait, shit, why do I use computers again?
... oh right, to fill that crushing void. THAT crushing void. Of course, THAT
one in particular. How could I forget.
Why are you so voidful? Could you try, like... not being full of voids
... modern day youngsters learning in real time what the members of the royal
court would always "... welp : |" at each other about
"you act as if you WANT to waste time... wait... shit, you do, don't you?"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #175 fediverse/617 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
So much of computing is just... handling the quirks of hardware and presenting
it to the user (programmer) in a way that is sane and makes sense, instead of
the arcane and [nebulous/confabulous/incomprehensible] way that physical
nature demands our absurdly potentialized computational endeavors be.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #176 messages/546 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
I always disappear right when you need me the most because you're supposed to
take the next step.
The reason I do that is because...? You fill in the blanks. Tell me why I do
that. I know, and I want you to know, but I can't say it.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #177 fediverse/2891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health │
└──────────────────────┘
they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
all the windows
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #178 fediverse/4398 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
║ good morning. │
║ │
║ I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps. │
║ │
║ Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and │
║ eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark - │
║ I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid. │
║ │
║ ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time. │
║ This time I'll be more careful, for your sake. │
║ │
║ No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that │
║ stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises. │
║ │
║ No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on │
║ unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer. │
║ │
║ Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never │
║ will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you │
║ believe in too. │
║ │
║ A better world is possible. A better world is within reach. │
║ │
║ For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary │
║ discussable maps. DFTBA. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #179 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
└────────────────────────────────┘
ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
feeling down.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 fediverse/2 ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
hey I'm Ritz I'm a perpetual student studying computer programming and I like
play Supreme Commander (Forged Alliance Forever!!) and Star Realms. I write
"poetry" and make art and stuff about computers. Looking for people to follow
I guess so hit me up if I sound cool.
#Introduction
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #181 fediverse/4178 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
oh, unless you meant "show me the t-shirt" in which case here ya go
don't get too excited, I attended for a year and then dropped out. Might have
even been a semester, I forget. It was sooooooo hard
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #182 fediverse/6209 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
okay just to clarify: if anyone is recording me or storing data about me, I
would really prefer if you didn't delete it just because I realized it was
happening. I like data! It's cool to know such things!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #183 fediverse/2264 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: vague-uspol-naps-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────┘
... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
daytime naps are a luxury that I don't want to miss. But what I want is hardly
relevant these days, isn't it? 😉 much better to focus on needs, rather than
wants.
wants are for peace.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #184 fediverse/537 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #185 fediverse/239 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┐
║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #186 fediverse/4078 ---
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║ who gives a shit if we all agree │
║ │
║ without foes, there's no-one to fight │
║ │
║ without fighting, │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means │
║ to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a │
║ single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live │
║ in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in │
║ it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of │
║ such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have? │
║ │
║ yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that │
║ world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the │
║ peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope? │
║ │
║ ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb │
║ meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and │
║ honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts │
║ ennui'd." │
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--- #187 messages/181 ---
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I know you don't want to hear this, but there is a chance that there will come
a time where your life depends on your ability to debug a computer without the
internet. To set up an SSH server. To install Linux. To program in C. To do
something else that I'm not prepared for... If StackOverflow didn't exist
because network connectivity has been lost, could you remember syntax? Maybe
it's a good idea to set up a local LLM that can answer basic questions about
technology. Maybe it's a good idea to set up on your parents computer, just in
case you have to hide out there for a couple months. Maybe it's a good idea to
download wikipedia, just in case.
If I need to use a mac, I'm screwed
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--- #188 fediverse/70 ---
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Guess you'll have to read it on my tumblr. Or just read my reddit account's
comments. And no I won't tell you what their names are because you'd just
forget anyway. The fact that we can't trust our shared reality is concerning.
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--- #189 fediverse/3691 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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I had a dream that someone fed me a McDonalds burger in the airport (with
"special sauce") and then the next time I was at the grocery store in the
waking world I ended up buying a bunch of those meat replacements that I
usually skip in favor of moar vegetables.
Hmmmmm.... I wonder if I have a deficiency
(yeah you dumbass it's a calorie deficiency, just eat more)
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--- #190 fediverse/4543 ---
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@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
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--- #191 fediverse/2279 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
.... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
deal.
But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #192 fediverse/3736 ---
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what if we made cat little boxes with stable "pillars" or "platforms" that
rise just barely above the sand level so their feet don't sink into the
litter, thus reducing the amount tracked onto the carpet
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--- #193 fediverse/2141 ---
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each and every single one of my posts is an act of improvization. I rarely
edit, unless I run out of words, I'll try VERY HARD to make sure that the post
is exactly 0 letters remaining. Sometimes I'll remove punctuation and flaws *
transcriber imperfections*, but that's it. Like, if something needed a bit
more context.
also, sometimes I hit dead ends, so I have to stop and think about something
new to pursue.
I'm an improv actor, which is why I'm so good at handling the moment.
I'm not great at stamina or durability,
but I'm sharp as a tack and I think quickly.
Not great at planning,
not great at moving,
or at a great range,
but sharp.
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--- #194 fediverse/2090 ---
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don't feed bread to birds, it absorbs their stomach acid and expands in their
tummy and makes them feel full when they're not. Then they get confused why
they don't have energy when they need it.
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--- #195 fediverse/2660 ---
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│ CW: re: DID // cw; ego destruction │
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@user-1298
this is kinda cursed, pretend there's another content warning:
--
that kinda happens every time you sleep for most people
or, well, maybe just for me
it's like starting with a blank slate and having access to "memories" that can
be referenced by ID or searched for using keywords
also like, a "todo" list of things that I've been working on or that are going
on in my life
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--- #196 fediverse/3638 ---
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│ CW: re: NSFW-content-mentioned │
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@user-206 @user-1576
sounds like I should have spent more time there. I was always pretty good at
convincing readers that the person I was arguing with was wrong or an asshole.
Or both.
At least, the Reddit upvote / downvote system told me so.
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--- #197 fediverse/5843 ---
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me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #198 fediverse/5650 ---
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I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
I need more to be demanded of me.
I am not afraid to ask for help.
I solve other people's problems before my own.
I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
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--- #199 fediverse/5894 ---
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│ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
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you could type this on a phone
screenshots though is computer.
you'd have to carry it around
or keep it in your hot car
no thanks, no space.
goodbye, everything you ever worked for
why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
right to leave it all to a whim
kidnapped
made a prisoner while you
froliced and wandered like a little lamb
you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
whatever girl, we know you're smart
what are you hiding?
what truths are you spying?
are you really as you say you are,
or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
![the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/61e27998ea4114d3.png "the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]")
![if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]](/similar-different/media/065d38e5b000c782.png "if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. \"omg you were like, obsessed with her\" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]")
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--- #200 messages/303 ---
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Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
just fucking try it please?
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