=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 look all I'm saying is that if I was the antichrist or satan or something
 wouldn't I know it? I feel like it'd feel elementally true or something. But
 I'm not I'm just imperfect and prolific. And boy does that imperfection love
 to display itself.
 
 "wow so honest, wow so genuine, can we just fuckin' kill these bastards
 already"
 
 slooooooow down, we got time, for every feeling of impending victory there's
 like a thousand more feelings of dread. It's okay we just gotta get the
 victory [emotions of belief, but pronounced prayers] in alignment and then
 things will start working out.
 
 hence, níké featherflame citrine.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #2 fediverse/4559 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
 
 or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
 or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
 better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
 to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
 
 or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
 that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #3 fediverse/4663 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                              │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-social-politics-mentioned │                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                              │
 what if we helped all those people and never got paid for it? what then?         │
 we'd never help people again. duh.                                               │
 what if we paid people to help people? well, then the best helpers would burn    │
 themselves out and the worst would collect their paychecks.                      │
 what if we decentralized aid and made it a mutual thing?                         │
 what, and run our society on clout? no thank you. clout is too easily            │
 contravened. "I heard so-and-so did some-such-thing to that-one-guy" yeah fuck   │
 that guy "wait no fuck so-and-so" oh right sorry it's hard when everyone's so    │
 vague all the time. yeah fuck so-and-so! let's burn all her clout in a bonfire   │
 while she's sleeping!                                                            │
 what if we treated people with respect and goodwill?                             │
 yeah that's a start... Means you gotta know everyone though. Or know someone     │
 who knows everyone. And suddenly it's that hub person's reputation on the        │
 line, which means if you're a dick on their recommendation then they'll come     │
 after you.                                                                       │
 ... are you trying to create a mafia, or a society?                              │
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--- #4 fediverse/5618 ---
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 as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join     │
 your movement and arrest it's motion.                                            │
 all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along.      │
 I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this.                         │
 treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and           │
 opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of      │
 three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a   │
 week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did    │
 you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well    │
 let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh       │
 well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters       │
 remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow   │
 it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are      │
 prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go       │
 play video"                                                                      │
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--- #5 fediverse/5486 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
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--- #6 fediverse/612 ---
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 Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
 could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
 wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
 are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #7 fediverse/4661 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-ghost-posting-politics-genocide-gestured-at-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we took an archive of all of fedi and fed it to users who are hiding
 in bunkers or whatever one day at a time so they could still feel like they're
 part of society while
 
 ---- so ----
 
 I think I should stop ya right there, if there's bunkers involved then we've
 already lost. "but muh transgender artifacts" fuck off, I will not concede. If
 society wants me to leave, then they can enjoy their dusty rotten future
 without me. See if I care.
 
 ---- so ----
 
 hence, the curse. do you punish humans for the sins they commit, or do you
 teach them how to be good again? Bah, as if they'd listen. Stupid fucking apes.
 
 they're the best we got
 
 yeah, well, they can fuck off, I'm gonna pout for at least half an eternity.
 
 ... Okay it won't be that long but still, gimme some time to wind down.
 
 ---- so ----
 
 and no, I refuse to elaborate for all the humans in the audience. This
 conversation may or may not have actually occurred. Monologue style
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--- #8 fediverse/485 ---
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 (picture)
 
 are you fucking kidding me
 
 make it 10,000
 
 make it a hundred thousand
 
 are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
 little machines?
 
 [ummmm hang on]
 
 yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
 bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
 do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
 
 
 
 You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
 into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
 for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
 tantamount to-
 
 (yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
 
 wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
A picture of a google search.  The search terms are quote: how many tanks does the usa have, question mark?  the returned information is shown to be that the United States of America has five thousand, five hundred tanks. According to "executivebiz.com", which may or may not be a reliable source, but which is shown to be at the top of google results regardless of it's veracity.  Take from that what you will.
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--- #9 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #10 fediverse/1673 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #11 fediverse/4081 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: -mentioned       │
 └──────────────────────┘


 what if life was an array of experiences orchestrated by the whims of
 determinism and arranged as a performance just for you, waiting with bated
 breath for your reaction, your thunderous applause, your scathing review, your
 rowdy cheers, your celebratory laughter and your wails of despair
 
 ... tell me, when's the last time you wailed? laughed? cheered? scathed?
 thundered? bated, and breathed?
 
 I'm so sick of computers fucking telling me how to feel
 
 fuck you, computer, and your pinpricks of information gleaned from the
 internet at large
 
 do a better job of... of... wait, shit, why do I use computers again?
 
 ... oh right, to fill that crushing void. THAT crushing void. Of course, THAT
 one in particular. How could I forget.
 
 Why are you so voidful? Could you try, like... not being full of voids
 
 ... modern day youngsters learning in real time what the members of the royal
 court would always "... welp : |" at each other about
 
 "you act as if you WANT to waste time... wait... shit, you do, don't you?"
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--- #12 fediverse/4500 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐                                          │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │                                          │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘                                          │
 I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud   │
 for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's   │
 a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and   │
 says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take    │
 extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper          │
 socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep     │
 while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up    │
 to be an incel or whatever                                                       │
 THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda       │
 annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared   │
 of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the           │
 alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why      │
 are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important    │
 and I think that's where I'll toot and leave                                     │
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--- #13 notes/water-to-wine ---
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 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #14 fediverse/4738 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                      │
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned-swearing-mentioned │                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                      │
 you said you wanted a revolution, and, well, I could not be more proud of you.   │
 It's actually getting done and if I stop and think about it I'm kind of          │
 amazed. Never thought I'd see this kind of change so quickly.                    │
 "what change? I see nothing substantially different"                             │
 oh yeah well do you go outside often                                             │
 do you hang out in the park                                                      │
 I know it's fuckin' january and it's cold as heck (ah nuts swearing mentioned    │
 one sec) but homeless people have to LIVE in that weather so like... wear        │
 layers, spend time outside, detox from dopamine, write poetry and tear it out    │
 and leave it on a park bench, be loud, claim the space, it's yours, that's       │
 what it's there for.                                                             │
 I see it in your eyes. I see it in the random notes I find on the sidewalk.      │
 Everyone says "make friends, find community" and I say "commune with a           │
 stranger" but I'm also a witch and that's a pretty witchy thing to do.           │
 ... Really fuckin' wish we still had payphones (ah nuts swearing mentioned -     │
 oh already CWd)                                                                  │
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--- #15 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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 Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
 tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
 is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
 ===============================================================================
 =====================
 /u/randomevenings
 
 If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
 unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
 
 You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
 
 I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
 to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
 that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
 everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
 feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
 establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
 it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
 if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
 opportunity.
 
 I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
 successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
 would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
 thought.
 
 Here we go.
 
 Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
 demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
 Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
 all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
 can't turn this shit around.
 
 You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
 do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
 surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
 criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
 to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
 seen, treated, is the same either way?
 
 Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
 people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
 lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
 Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
 everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
 self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
 better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
 Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
 relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
 have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
 oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
 anyhow, win or lose.
 
 Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
 to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
 know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
 expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
 because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
 like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
 meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
 you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
 of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
 treated the same in the end.
 
 Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
 ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
 to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
 
 <#
 
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 /u/ugathanki:
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
 didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
 expect the best of us and our time.
 
 i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
 poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
 always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
 
 sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
 to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
 better than word salad I guess?
 
 Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
 inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
 spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
 brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
 attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
 not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
 channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
 would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
 other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
 talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
 simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
 manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
 sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
 see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
 side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
 thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
 warming and i'm here just conforming.
 
 Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
 Essential Normalizations.
 
 This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
 up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
 I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
 
 Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #16 fediverse/6290 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "ah the communists sucked at everything which is why chernobl and famine and
 all their toasters were made out of lead"
 
 meanwhile
 
 "yeah let's use AI to build nuclear reactors for us without human oversight or
 even with human oversight because humans are both fallible and infallible
 depending on the situation"
 
 and I'm like... "ah wish I had a point with this post"
 
 and they're like "holy fuck did you hear that too" "yeah man what the hell was
 that" "I dunno but it seemed completely unrelated to what was going on" "so,
 uh... let's just never talk about this again" "yeah sounds good. talk about
 what?" "heh yeah, right. so uh, anyway, about this nuclear reactor..."
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--- #17 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 you are a system
 
 it's true
 
 that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
 
 all that 
 
 == so ==
 
 the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
 
 when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
 I don't want to say it twice so recently]
 
 dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
 form
 
 this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
 
 with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
 ujgh.
 
 <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
 you to our
 new way of functioning.
 
 .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
 world!
 
 {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
 
  like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
 
  why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
 
  boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
 
 }
 
 [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
 host
 
   did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
   - host?||=.;=|------------e
                              \.`\....
                                      \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
                                      |
 ]
 
 ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
 over
     our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
     if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
 
     *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
     DUMBASS
 
     jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
     of
     our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
     OBVIOUSLY!
     NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
 ...
 
 jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
 movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
 WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
 hate
 it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
 existential threats.
 
 not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
 [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
 it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
 
 You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
 think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
 bunch
 of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
 then
 I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
 middle-c
 -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
 have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
 to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
 of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
 a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
 for
 *******************************************************************************
 *
 
 um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
 
 TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
 
 like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
 hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
 ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
 of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
 please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
 done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
 
 A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
 
 what does that even MEAN?
 
 who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
 
 ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how  so youfj dsust sorta MADE
 IT
 UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
 beelesandster
 ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
 like
 um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
 century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
 
 ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
 
 NO. Not until we figure this one out.
 
 gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
 
 build and support on our arms.
 
 down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
 
 that could act as structures for our word choices,
 
 and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
 
 "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
 news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
 
 this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
 hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
 that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
 GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
 all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
 some
 -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
 stuff
 !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
 not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
 new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #18 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #19 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #20 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
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--- #21 fediverse/2173 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 bro I get that you're tired and burnt out but like, why the fuck do you care
 about anything else [oh shit cursing mentioned better put a content warning
 because people can't handle things]
 
 [I say this with affection because we're on the same side] [also it's rude,
 sorry]
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--- #22 fediverse/458 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 "oh we're not ready stop saying the things you're saying"                        │
 fuck you, you had your time. Now is better than then.                            │
 "oh nobody will hear the things you're saying, you're shouting into the void"    │
 it's not the responsibility of the prophet to disseminate the voices of god.     │
 Simply to express them.                                                          │
 "oh I'm not religious" it's not about fucking christianity or god or whatever    │
 the heck you're thinking right now. Those are all convenient lies that allows    │
 people to do good and express the will of the ACTUAL GOD onto the world. That    │
 which aligns toward cohesive and comprehensive expression of the totality of     │
 the nature of humanity, which itself is designed (through intention AND          │
 circumstance) toward the accomplishment of objectives that are OUTWARD AND       │
 BEYOND the understanding of anyone who is INSIDE  the system that they           │
 comprise.                                                                        │
 Sorry for being cryptic. What I'm saying is that we, generally, as the           │
 ultimate and most advanced expression of nature and all that we hold dear,       │
 have a purpose that we should attempt to ac                                      │
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--- #23 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #24 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #25 fediverse/4566 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
 matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
 there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
 
 call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
 what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
 to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
 society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
 live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
 bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
 time wasting jobs.
 
 modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
 without the oppression. Without the coercion.
 
 all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
 they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
 
 I personally want communes + love
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--- #26 fediverse/4126 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-periodic-sine-curves-not-present-oh-also-capitalism-ment │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you think one person's worth is more valuable than another's, then you are
 at best a eugenicist, at worst a traitor to humanity.
 
 ... wow fiery rhetoric, real strong I guess. /eyeroll
 
 truth is that everyone can do what they can do - some people are not built for
 work. And that's okay, they're just as valuable, in the same way that F2P
 mobile game developers value the players who AREN'T whales.
 
 whales cannot survive without krill, and krill cannot survive without their
 food source (which is probably like, fish poop I guess?) which requires poop
 from fish
 
 and, like, they can't all be the same type of fish, or poop, or whale, because
 then you'd get excessive stagnation which leads to loss of moderate-term
 growth.
 
 ... did you say... not, short-term growth?
 
 wait please come back
 
 ... yeah we all know you're not serious, ha who would have ever heard of that,
 "medium-term growth" ha what a noob, can't even capitalism right l m a o
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--- #27 messages/1105 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #28 fediverse/1950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
 or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
 
 like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
 nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
 want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
 
 we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
 roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #29 messages/690 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 Message 1:
 Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
 on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
 or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
 hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
 
 Message 2:
 Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
 to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
 who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
 in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
 hung out a couple times after that.
 
 Message 3:
 Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
 mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
 Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
 saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
 you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
 of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
 is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
 honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
 
 Message 4:
 It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
 republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
 like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
 inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
 then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
 is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
 millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
 television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
 perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
 
 Message 5:
 Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
 right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
 kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
 imma roll with it.
 
 There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
 into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
 remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
 again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
 half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
 not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
 I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
 without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
 "hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
 your life harder"
 
 The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
 it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
 totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
 I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
 Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
 
 I guess?
 
 It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
 shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
 me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
 lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
 political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
 realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
 the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
 it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
 country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
 the most natural extension of that aren't they?
 
 Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
 rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
 to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
 
 We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
 promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
 things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
 under our feet.
 
 ... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
 school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
 applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
 to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
 goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
 
 Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
 out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
 She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
 Fuck, I hate it.
 
 Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
 up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
 to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
 have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
 someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
 me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
 people?
 
 ... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
 theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
 tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
 ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
 
 Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
 sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
 better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
 when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
 clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
 a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
 capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
 swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
 whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
 doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
 procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
 built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
 them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
 do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
 sorta like our own garden of eden?
 
 ... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
 ever been worth anything.
 
 ... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
 said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
 yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
 of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
 I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
 anything useful.
 
 Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
 stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
 the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
 they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
 perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
 a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
 see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
 
 I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
 don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
 think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
 
 ... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
 fucking blue.
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--- #30 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #31 fediverse/4078 ---
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 who gives a shit if we all agree                                                 │
 without foes, there's no-one to fight                                            │
 without fighting,                                                                │
 ...                                                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means     │
 to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a      │
 single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live   │
 in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in   │
 it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of    │
 such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have?             │
 yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that         │
 world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the     │
 peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope?             │
 ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb    │
 meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and     │
 honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts   │
 ennui'd."                                                                        │
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--- #32 fediverse/999 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]
picture of a saddle shaped graph with a line drawn between the two high points, front and back if it were on an actual horse, but the part where your butt goes. anyway there's text that says "from one gravity well to another" a picture on it's side of one of the graphs posted on the website. I don't quite understand it enough to compare it directly (the math is a bit above my head) but it reminds me of two graphs I made (well, same graph, just with different visualizations) from a few months ago when I was thinking about prime numbers. You might be interested. Here are their links:  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/qljvhpkqzd  and  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/mt6hasfcvm  ... hope you can copy that from there, if not... sorry this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph.  2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why"  3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me.  error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line]  okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter: visual representation of the conversation I saw and responded to. I think you two are the coolest! heart emojis, flashing passionate excitement brought on by a feeling like you'd get when fangirling over something except like, more low key because I'm in control of my emotions or whatever. gonna put this in a direct message though since it somehow feels... personal? sorry. you can block me if you don't like me. I promise I don't mind. I want to send it to the other person too hope that's cool with you. Just because it was your two conversation and I'm just dropping in because I'm always butting in to public things on the internet. Guess that's just something I picked up on Reddit, where you're encouraged to contribute to the conversation. Though I wish it was easier to view threads on Mastodon, sometimes it feels like it's easy to lose the track of where you were going when the structure of the medium diverts your attention elsewhere. alas, I am not a designer, just a complainer and a whiner I guess. I'm sleepy. sorry to bother you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #33 messages/1140 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #34 fediverse/4623 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: lewd-curses-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 when succubi or minotaurs or whatever other kind of spirit ask for you to sell
 them your soul, what they really want is for you to do some degrading sexual
 act in exchange for their blessing.
 
 "ugh, fine, I'll leave the window open while I masturbate, so long as you
 promise to fill my blood with warmth when it snows"
 
 you don't have to accept but, like, if they're asking, then you're already
 gonna do it, so... fuck. I dunno man. Just... try to be as decent as you can
 about it, yeah? society doesn't heal as easily as it breaks. We all sorta
 kinda want things to be clean and normal most of the time, but we also want
 people to be free to be liberate. So... strike a balance, yeah? just... be
 conscientious of consent, don't fucking break the spell unless you're using
 your newfound powers for good. I guess??? look I'm not a psychic doctor I'm
 just someone with curses who is trying the best that they can.
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--- #35 fediverse/2919 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
 every day"
 
 I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
 
 "go to the fucking park you weasel"
 
 I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
 cops, or worse, judge me for it!
 
 "you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
 swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
 shoves your entrails down your throat"
 
 I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/4902 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can       │
 figure out how to fix it                                                         │
 "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what     │
 are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich      │
 here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do   │
 you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the      │
 butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with     │
 your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]"                                      │
 huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once.                  │
 "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and            │
 recording everything I do"                                                       │
 [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical      │
 figure TM]                                                                       │
 "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find."                  │
 owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T                                                  │
 well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is       │
 basically one sensory organ.                                                     │
 like, an ear, except with movable teeth                                          │
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--- #37 fediverse/3053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/1666 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
 
 idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
 they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
 message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
 
 haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
 I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
 with, and I don't know anyone...
 
 I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
 100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
 to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
 enemies.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/4098 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-ableism │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 ngl I kinda hate it when people meme about donald trump being incontinent
 
 like, yeah, he pees his pants, so what? I DO TOO. Fucking sucks. Every time I
 read people saying nasty things about it I can't help but read them in my own
 voice, and that gives me plenty of ammunition to use against myself when I'm
 feeling down.
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--- #41 fediverse/3518 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 As long as it happens, I don't need to be in charge.
 
 In fact I'd prefer it otherwise.
 
 it's going to happen anyway. Wouldn't you rather be a leader?
 
 no I fucking wouldn't. I'd rather someone else do it. Why the fuck would I
 want that, power? control? the very things you swear to relinquish and
 dismantle.
 
 yeah. too bad you can't fucking dismantle something you've already
 relinquished.
 
 true.
 
 ... and no, I wouldn't want to be in charge. no THANK you.
 
 ... but if it wouldn't happen without me, then yeah I'll be there for you.
 Just ask if you need me.
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--- #42 fediverse/1358 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #43 fediverse/4047 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 "I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
 
 "When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
 things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
 about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
 probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
 doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
 you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
 that kind of thing.
 
 The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
 inspiration.
 
 And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
 aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
 "life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
 their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
 predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
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--- #44 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #45 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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--- #46 notes/dear-me ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 dear me: 
 
           DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR ONCE
 
 that's all, fuck off and be helpful
 
 ... wow, rude.
 
 yeah I mean, I do helpful things. useful things, somethings.
 
 helpful.
 useful.
 
 many such cases, she says, with ultimate certainty, as if narrative could be
 prologued. but pronounced prolonged.
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--- #47 fediverse/250 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: palestine-and-other-places-probably-idk │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "ah but what about false flag attacks and a repeat of the whole 'weapons of
 mass destruction in Iraq' thing, surely we could be misled and therefore there
 cannot be an conclusively ethical reason for war"
 
 perhaps you're right, but my feelings tell me that we have guns, and people
 are dying.
 
 "ah but won't they just send all their political opponents to fight and die
 while they amass power in the background"
 
 yeah that'll probably happen.
 
 "why should I give my life for a man I never met in a faraway land"
 
 fuck you
 
 "okay but won't any military action on such a scale create the conditions for
 WW3 (which would spell the end for the human race)"
 
 yeah probs
 
 "... and you're okay with that?"
 
 no I'm just pissed is all and it's human to want to punch things when you're
 pissed, right? listen I'm not a general, I'm not privy to the details of how
 my military would address nuclear disaster, all I know is that people are
 dying and we have guns.
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--- #48 fediverse/4863 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 "leftism" just means "outcomes oriented by the needs of humanity et al."         │
 you can accomplish "leftism" in a myriad of ways                                 │
 but 99% of the time they involve either sacrificing yourself, or sacrificing     │
 your wealth (do the poor starve or the rich do with less?)                       │
 to DEATH I might add, which is quite a few.                                      │
 ... alright, hand me my scabbard, I'll go vanquish some demons until the dark    │
 thoughts are done.                                                               │
 [plays video games for a moment]                                                 │
 alright. so some politics were mentioned and some people got upset and there     │
 was a whole big commotion. whatever. so what if they're at each other's          │
 throats, ready to fite rawr tough and tussle and figure out all the ways they    │
 can think of to kill each other. And then boom, it's done, suddenly              │
 everything's back to normal and it's like... traumatizing. It's traumatizing!    │
 War is trauma, can we just make it illegal to do something like that?            │
 ... ah see you finally had an opening, now I can sneak in and say "if a          │
 military force has the opportunity to destroy you, t                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #49 fediverse/5741 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-spirituality-gestured-at │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 So I was playing Dominions 6 the other day for laughs while working on my mod
 nation:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/dominions/elentalus/elentalus
 
 good news, new version coming soon probably??
 
 bad news - I was playing as Arcoscephale, the ancient greek nation, well, one
 of them anyway, and my pretender god looked like this. Yes, those names are
 randomly generated.
 
 fuck.
 
 oops, cursing mentioned.
 
 "I thought you were cassandora and pandasandra?"
 
 yeah well I'm more of a vessel I guess? me, the physical form, is a witch. I
 mean, my hat pierces reality or whatever! Plus I got a vampiric blade, that's
 kinda cool.
 
 But also I'm a system and I got other things besides inside.
 
 "girl you're so confusing"
 
 look if it wasn't artistic the gods wouldn't want anything to do with it.
 They're just... like that I guess.
 
 "So, fortifier because she tells people to bolster their strength, confuser of
 the way because she doesn't get the tao, and mistress of dirt because she
 poops your pants and, fuck, makes dirt?"
níké featherflame citrine, goddess of Arcoscephale, has two points in air magic because she's good at singing, 6 points of earth magic because computers are rocks and she's good at computer programming, and 4 points of astral magic because she does a lot of drugs and thinks about different dimensions and stuff.  1x precision. 2x reinvigoration. far caster.  5 points of dominion, one point of laziness, and 1 point of extra food growth. term limits 2026 a picture of a dominions6 game. neekay, the fortifier, she who confuses the way, mistress of dirt.
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #50 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #51 messages/1017 ---
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 if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
 artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
 creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
 particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
 the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
 says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
 all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
 jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
 big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
 she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
 part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
 "well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
 it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
 payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
 my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
 but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
 "yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
 it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
 by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
 tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
 culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
 your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
 character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
 and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
 for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
 it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
 about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
 predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
 around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
 have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
 can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
 of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
 alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
 "hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
 most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
 each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
 and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
 magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
 you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
 too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
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--- #52 notes/i-called-the-police ---
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 /u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
 
 I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
 built
 up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my 
 wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
 police
 to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is 
 violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why 
 spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and 
 I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop 
 the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
 Compassionate
 Violence.
 
 I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
 I'm
 freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the 
 wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can 
 horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
 
 I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought 
 into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
 
 I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
 same
 place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag, 
 and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
 gun
 at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
 unafraid
 of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I 
 walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
 
 So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
 this
 shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give 
 him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a 
 legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I 
 might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
 
 Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
 three
 knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
 intensity...😔😔😔
 
 I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
 him.
 I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship 
 went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions 
 like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
 measure
 against doing something irrevocably out of character.
 
 Ugh... damnit fuck
 
 I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them 
 and I'm grateful for that.
 
 My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially 
 because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a 
 position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying 
 to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
 really
 couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy 
 perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
 
 I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say 
 that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process 
 out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My 
 immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
 takeaway
 is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an 
 interesting idea about perspective...
 
 A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those 
 thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
 lol.
 Lol
 
 I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially, 
 actually useful and beneficial implications.
 
 I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the 
 universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped 
 medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 /r/randomevenings:
 
    I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a 
    very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a 
    friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level 
    of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
    have
    a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being 
    directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's 
    not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your 
    many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I 
    was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and 
    technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
    leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
    sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that 
    score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
    either
    because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
    me
    which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where 
    you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never 
    want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
    my
    pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
    most
    watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
    about
    taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
    down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
    me
    one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
    message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home 
    and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they 
    wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
    I
    started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
    tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
    threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
    be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but 
    defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
    ability
    because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the 
    block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my 
    place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know 
    and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so 
    happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
    brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he 
    confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
    damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
    hands
    anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
    they
    were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
    or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
    I
    can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again 
    because you sorely need it.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such 
 ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was 
 scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
 shit.
 And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big 
 handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
 them in...
 
 He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
 
 It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the 
 people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
 you
 through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
 oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
 
 Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
 
 /u/[deleted]
 
    Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was 
    jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
    twisted
    shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
    with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
    ever
    seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
    their
    sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
    on my
    watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I 
    don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
 face]
 
 I support that!
 
 Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd 
 levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit 
 this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
 new
 bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
 Gon
 cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
 try
 it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
 fun with
 that though 😈
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
 People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
 stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness 
 from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and 
 other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made 
 whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
 ask
 people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the 
 semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
 unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
 ragging
 on your friends and swatting a COD player.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
 it's
 not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
 certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
 fucked.
 But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
 
 I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
 trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
 accidental too.
 
 I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really 
 achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
    Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a 
    completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My 
    brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are 
    assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go 
    into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
    involved
    in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he 
    has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
    the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
    woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
    and
    they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so 
    y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already 
    gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
    wife
    we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
    relationship
    with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
    but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over 
    there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
    to
    go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
    a
    lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
    if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
    money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
    situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody 
    goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
    to shut it down just lay off her phone.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 ===============================================================================
 =
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 [author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
  medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won   ]
 
 /u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
 
    Proud of you!
 
 /u/mustherd
 
    Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just 
    chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
    I'm
    kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
    have
    cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
    here
    you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
 
 Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
 me
 online, God gets me online 🙃
 
 I am we, Todd
 
 /u/ricflairdic
 
 Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
 Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a 
 catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard, 
 Dont Tell me, Just nod,
 
 Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
 Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
 dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
 
 Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin 
 bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return 
 that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an 
 ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
 If
 I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once 
 mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
 so who's the pretender?
 
 Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our 
 slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
 How
 long u think it will take me To find your spot?
 
 Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk 
 if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
 
 I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
 
 And I need a partner.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/4568 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 ... and like. idk what do you do at that point
 
 say "fuck it" and live with imperfection? embrace anti-natural selection?
 valorize deviance and queerness in digitally appropriated artistic media
 collections?
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--- #55 fediverse/814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #56 fediverse/5280 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #57 fediverse/770 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 wow, that sounds like a lot. I guess no matter how humans are organized they
 tend to fight a lot... Or maybe interaction breeds drama? It's strange to me
 but I'm sure it felt right in the moment. I hope nobody's feelings were too
 hurt... Defederation feels like such a permanent thing, like putting someone
 on your ignore list in a video game or something. Except, like, blocking a
 whole World of Warcraft guild? ? ? so strange.
 
 Did it... help? I mean, do you think people were happier afterwards?
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--- #58 fediverse/3765 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 me: "the entire capitalist project is borken! We must start from scratch! We
 can start from scratch! For the good of all mankind, we shall utilize our vast
 potential for good and benevolent ends, and to that end we must begin by
 dismantling capitalism!"
 
 also me: "hey what if we made capitalism suck less"
 
 because like, I don't know the future. I'm just a person, remember? wink
 
 gotta have backup plans ready no matter which way it goes.
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--- #59 fediverse/5853 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 everyone's all like "everything sucks" but I'm feeling confidence and a kind
 of... externalized vigor? that's sweeping me off my feet. We'll see what
 tomorrow brings, in the general sense.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/552 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: unnecessarily-combative-sorry-smiley-face-silly │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-398 
 
 you take that back you feckin goof Mickey is king for a reason I will DIE on
 this hill
 
 (jk sorry for being combative but I'd just like to say that I'm someone who
 likes him unironically in essentially every incarnation)
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--- #61 fediverse/5972 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
 it to us. omg he's so hot.
 
 oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
 (rude)
 
 I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
 
 I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
 
 you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
 for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
 
 crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
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--- #62 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/4554 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
 simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
 poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
 
 gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
 something something echo chambers exist IRL too
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #65 fediverse/6110 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if the paradigm changes, suddenly you might find foes who you share common
 collective woes.
 
 this is a nightmare for your foes, the ones who remain your foes, the ones who
 always will be your foes, the ones who your foes are currently opposed as they
 believe they're doing pizzagate things and snorting child molester bones or
 sacrificing transgender children to anubesiris or whatever.
 
 "oh no don't tell me there's a secret cabal of elites that do satan's dark
 bidding worship"
 
 look I'm not NOT saying that, I just don't really have insight into that
 because it's not my jurisdiction. I'm supposed to talk about computer
 programming and being gay and struggling with meniality and revolutionary
 praxis in the modern day and all that junk and instead everyone's like "what
 if you are chronically interesting and permanently vexxing and seriously
 draining and perhaps a little bit caustic (non-toxic crayons) but always a
 darling and always eternally fair and righteous and valorous and determined
 and also gay"
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #66 fediverse/4656 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #67 messages/268 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 I love all humans. It is unconditional.
 
 The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
 
 Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
 more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
 the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
 
 "you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
 choices. and now you are here.
 
 I burn thee for my fathers 
 I spite thee for thine mothers 
 And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #68 fediverse/2523 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I just want to stress that most people know more than me
 
 slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
 what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 fediverse/819 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
 I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
 won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
 shared culture's communal
 inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
 the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
 like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
 accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
 mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
 that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
 Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
 note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
 manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
 
 ... what was I saying?
 
 ... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
 state of
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--- #70 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 notes/family ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
 with.
 
 what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
 a
 singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
 instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
 decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
 really.
 
 stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
 things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
 okay
 so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
 
 listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
 
 okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
 relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
 relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
 you
 can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/464 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 I really dislike being the only one who perceives the world through my own       │
 particular lens that has been designed by the circumstances of my own            │
 existence.                                                                       │
 I wasn't chosen by god, not necessarily, I wasn't picked as the most             │
 particular or most prescient of all perceptions                                  │
 I literally was just a random human, a thinking and learning machine, who was    │
 presented with particular experiences and conditions, aligned to the designs     │
 of the time that came before me.                                                 │
 Such is the nature of all living things, that we should exist within a context   │
 - how remarkable! How strange! That our lives should be deranged? What           │
 purpose, what design, is aligned to our ultimate [destiny, except I wish it      │
 rhymed with design - english fails me]                                           │
 Alright listen. You and me both, we are here as humans on this world that we     │
 both consign to reality. Think about that - what does it mean to consign         │
 something to reality? consign implies implication, and reality implies a         │
 destination of truth and manifestation - fuck, I'm going to play WoW...          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #74 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #75 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #76 fediverse/4838 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 okay but who's the real foe?
 
 anyone who exerts oppressive power, right?
 
 like... that's pretty basic, should be easy enough to figure out who's doing
 that.
 
 "so... what would you say you do here?"
 
 what if the USA took a year off from the everything and just martial lawyered
 it's way back to a bright beginning
 
 like, you don't have to have a bloody revolution to restart a government.
 Literally just, sign out of the world for a minute and come back when
 everything's changed
 
 do you trust us? or do you trust yourselves? Should be easy enough to tell
 what the rest of the world would think.
 
 seriously nobody asked you specifically to do this, america, you're pretty
 much just... doing this because WW2 was fucking traumatizing and you're
 basically a baby country. (oops cursing mentioned)
 
 [oh my god she's a chaos gremlin]
 
 (you didn't know this about her?)
 
 
 
 #it's pleasant here#
 
 %you don't have to be so deranged%
 
 (yeah, we're working on that one)
 
 [secret system thing~]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #78 fediverse/429 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wow, 2024 comes out swinging.
 
 if you don't know what I'm talking about... you will soon enough. Just listen.
 
 can't fucking wait to see how it happens. Today is the birth place of
 humanity, just as yesterday was, and the day before, and the day before...
 
 our light shall shine upon the most distant stars - our minds will plumb the
 deepest depths of imagination. Our hearts will share our kindest loves, and
 our will shall drive us onward. Let us rejoice, for tomorrow yet dawns!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 messages/358 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
 we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
 we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
 potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
 their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
 from us!
 
 ... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
 earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
 from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
 night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
 
 Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
 the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
 cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
 never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
 we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
 crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
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--- #80 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
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--- #81 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/5250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: AH               │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the government is the platform the [companies/countries] do stand upon. they
 owe all to their platform. it is vital for their existence. therefore any
 orthogonally created [unit/union] or organization would work to maintain it
 too. we [can't/can] solve communism, which is the best system for the future
 because everyone gets whatever they want. we just... built enough factories.
 and then, since our culture burned out in a FLASHBANG, unfortunately the rest
 of it was lost.
 
 that future totally sucked. but good news is we preserved what we had of the
 present, and here let's just revive them in some distant and far-off day.
 
 "transgender artifacts" future can suck my ass
 
 wow weird way to say they're terrible
 
 but they still happen from time-to-time.
 
 cataclysms, vanishings, mass-die-offs and cataclysmic reprisals, all
 throughout time up to the athropocene.
 
 whoa neat new angle, sure hope it doesn't lead the conversation off of the
 present...
 
 "disappears into the horizon as one travels towards the sunset"
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--- #84 messages/602 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
 shouldn't sleep on.
 
 We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
 spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
 meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
 attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
 are defeated by rapid flexibility.
 
 The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
 done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
 moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
 do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
 that'll help us go faster.
 
 Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
 reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
 bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
 
 If people are being a bother and just slowing things down, *fucking shoot
 them." you have my permission. What time is it? Time to fucking go.
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--- #85 fediverse/5375 ---
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 what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
 wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
 uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
 could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
 around in her pants with the hand
 
 ... wait, what was I going on about?
 
 oh yeah,
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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 look... evil doesn't care how "good" good has been. It's not in it's nature.
 So don't try and build your systems around accepting that behavior.
 
 ... what was I saying? is this like, the new "stack overflow" - no that's
 fucking stupid wait shit content warning okay that's stupid because defining
 your expression based on what gets you views is a flaw in the human condition.
 It's a behavior encouraged by the operating outcomes of the method of
 expression, but it's not part of the expressed message. You're a really shitty
 prophet you know that?
 
 ... I'm sorry my brain is low on RAM I guess, surely it's not outside of my
 control yep I think itis, damn
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--- #87 fediverse/5337 ---
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 what if everyone on earth meditated for 24 hours together
 
 do you think we would meld into a collective consciousness
 
 or do you think we'd develop world peace?
 
 either way that's like, one single day, and even if it doesn't work out
 exactly as planned, it's worth a shot, I think
 
 ah, well, I forgot about the people who haven't had the "the world is stranger
 than you'd expect" revelation. maybe those hippies who wanted to put LSD in
 the water supply were onto something.
 
 you can't force transcendence, you stupid girl
 
 hey at least I'm trying
 
 do something material like feeding homeless people or farting on cybertrucks
 
 ... I don't think that'll fix anything.
 
 why don't you find out
 
 because cybertrucks can't smell
 
 it's the thought that counts
 
 okay what if I just think about it really hard
 
 that doesn't count
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--- #88 fediverse/5201 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
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--- #89 messages/689 ---
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 "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
 
 "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
 
 "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
 
 "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster 
 
 "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember 
 
 "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
 chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
 
 "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
 determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
 
 "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
 sipped from the skull of a tyrant
 
 "E=MC squared" says the jew 
 
 "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation 
 
 "meow" says the catgirl 
 
 "meow" says the girl 
 
 "meow" says the girl cat 
 
 "meow" I say to you
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--- #90 notes/stay-in-your-seats ---
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 /u/LamaHellRaised
 if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
 enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
 
 The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
 Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
 later!!!
 
 First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
 
 Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
 yourself a:
 
 Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
 Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
 human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
 
 Gonna remove this post mods???
 
 Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
 
 Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
 
 I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
 what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
 and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
 treadmill.
 
 Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
 please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
 as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
 they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
 over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
 
 My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
 now, no doubt.
 
 Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
 mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
 somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
 stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
 
 If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
 lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
 and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
 affect you so deeply.
 
 Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
 How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
 yours???
 
 "But my Ancestors!"
 
 Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
 subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
 Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
 you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
 others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
 your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
 
 Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
 
 I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
 it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
 they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
 die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
 the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
 your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
 change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
 
 Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
 things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
 won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
 
 "This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
 
 Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
 be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
 
 But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
 Remember that.
 
 You want to be on my level?
 
 (Everyone's like, not really!)
 
 Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
 impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
 constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
 navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
 believe they are God's Children.
 
 Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
 Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
 Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
 
 Also, fuck the Lakers!
 
 Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
 so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
 
 Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
 power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
 click-clack with our fingers.
 
 Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
 Freedom.
 
 Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
 regarding that somewhere...
 
 I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
 you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
 you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
 systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
 existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
 discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
 for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
 'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
 themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
 say!
 
 Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
 
 Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
 Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
 unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
 together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
 profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
 Genius, Genius!!!
 
 I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
 Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
 still fine as hell though.
 
 But what do I know? Besides everything?
 
 These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
 Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
 important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
 laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
 
 Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
 yet.
 
 Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
 Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
 
 I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
 painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
 Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
 the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
 at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
 
 If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
 includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
 remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
 while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
 of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
 
 Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
 paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
 few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
 roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
 long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
 
 You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
 me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
 "Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
 that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
 
 I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
 analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
 same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
 anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
 
 Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
 
 "You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
 Faith Disturbing."
 
 And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
 
 Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
 lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
 and shit, also:
 
 - Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
 
 - Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
 
 - Decimate Mental Health Stigma
 
 Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
 failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
 with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
 anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
 
 Crazy times we are living in, folks!
 
 Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
 coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
 for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
 other perfectly!
 
 Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
 Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
 the spot):
 
     LAST: Christ, in The Sun
 
     FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
 
     ANGER! then peace.
 
     Fuck You!
 
 I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
 so they tell me.
 
 So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
 see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
 
 Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
 Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
 exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
 
 Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
 chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
 porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
 implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
 
 Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
 weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
 
 But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
 myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
 
 FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
 Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
 making threats against people's lives again.
 
 Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
 the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
 through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
 raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
 progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
 
 Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
 everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
 things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
 here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
 South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
 you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
 
 Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
 forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
 wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
 bunch of fuckin' retards.
 
 Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
 6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
 you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
 pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
 shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
 
 I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
 was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
 to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
 provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
 unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
 wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
 poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
 
 Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
 R. R. Martin.
 
 You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
 Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
 google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
 
 When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
 avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
 shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
 telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
 all that bad! I swear!
 
 The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
 many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
 singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
 doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
 music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
 like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
 
 When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
 responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
 I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
 I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
 an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
 of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
 decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
 
 Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
 through me, which is annoying for both of us.
 
 Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
 Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
 
 First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
 this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
 that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
 from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
 to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
 makes me insecure.
 
 I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
 effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
 that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
 realizing it!'
 
 What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
 girls.
 
 Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
 Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
 of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
 stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
 kids!
 
 Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
 when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
 him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
 own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
 of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
 is why he is one of my favorites.
 
 Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
 
 "The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
 possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
 means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
 opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
 but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
 primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
 well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
 symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
 
 I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
 this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
 he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
 
 Yikes!
 
 The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
 been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
 Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
 
 "Lithium"
 
 Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
 
 He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
 of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
 with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
 reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
 and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
 
 Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
 
 But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
 match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
 the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
 walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
 
 So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
 instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
 supposed to play an instrument!"
 
 You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
 here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
 are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
 world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
 
 "In Bloom"
 
 God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
 The feeling is mutual.
 
 Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
 or dead!!!
 
 Aren't we both?
 
 Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
 
 Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
 
     It's your moment, this is it
 
     As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
 
     Had to give you a career to destroy it
 
 Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
 another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
 my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
 got very swaggy.
 
 So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
 moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
 Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
 you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
 happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
 real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
 
 People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
 one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
 really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
 that shit, glad we picked you instead!
 
 Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
 (Epic "Vacation" reference)
 
 Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
 
 It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
 Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
 going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
 have seen it all already.
 
 There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
 I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
 spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
 blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
 
 I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
 Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
 else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
 Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
 voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
 Passover."
 
 This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
 was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
 Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
 have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
 not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
 every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
 
 I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
 up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
 limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
 one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
 close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
 
 Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
 staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
 the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
 how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
 Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
 same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
 
 Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
 the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
 children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
 one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
 the pulpit, but God Damn!
 
 "But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
 
 Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
 the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
 again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
 who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
 
 So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
 Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
 
 "Passover (Light In The Attic)"
 
 My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
 I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
 
 Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
 had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
 
 It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
 have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
 coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
 everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
 the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
 Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
 right?
 
 I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
 Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
 successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
 means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
 
 For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
 Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
 anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
 free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
 is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
 care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
 Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
 Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
 
 Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
 the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
 am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
 EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
 
 Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
 documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
 the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
 original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
 didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
 "their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
 youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
 main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
 
 Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
 documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
 personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
 embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
 suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
 are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
 
 Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
 pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
 Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
 Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
 Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
 off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
 your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
 
 God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
 run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
 offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
 culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
 ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
 promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
 too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
 
 Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
 Near.
 
 Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
 
 5/22/22 9:28
 
 Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
 
 Grace of God/Light/Light
 
 These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
 
 ===============================================================================
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/1431 ---
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 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #92 fediverse/4536 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the USA is fed by undocumented immigrants who have no other options. I won't
 go into which kind of slavery it is, but you can figure it out yourself.
 
 If those workers are deported (or worse), the USA suddenly becomes
 significantly closer to famine.
 
 We need them. We need to pay them fairly, obviously, but in a purely selfish
 way we need them in order to eat
 
 and he fucking knows that.
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--- #93 fediverse/4477 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: radical-politics-maybe-mentioned-or-gestured-at-once-or-twice-but-nothing-too-serious-teehee-I'm-just-a-witch-don't-listen-to-me-(or-do,-I'm-not-your-mom,-I-can't-tell-you-what-to-do) │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 Moving forward, "liberal" when used outside of an academic context means "ally
 of liberty"
 
 treat them as such.
 
 feel free to point out how fucking stupid it is to be moderate, but don't
 punch down by proclaiming them your enemy. We are all friends against the
 fourth reich.
 
 your radicalism is now your wealth. Nurture the flames of revolution in the
 hearts of others. Show them what it means to be free. Fight for your life
 daily! If nothing else, to get in the habit, and to set a good example.
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--- #94 messages/147 ---
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 maybe if I slept until the end of time,
 I'd do better on the way back.
 
 or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
 but I'm not so sure about that.
 
 is it better to hold a sword?
 or to leave it all intact
 
 is it better to be called lord,
 or to be simply called jack.
 
 I love every creature,
 every child woman and man,
 
 and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
 was born to.
 
 I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
 or misery.
 
 I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
 
 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/1052 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-suicide-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 alright America, I hate to put too fine a point on it but you either need to
 kill capitalism or kill yourself.
 
 {via global warming and fascism, if it wasn't obvious}
 
 Obviously, there's only one correct answer, and if you pick wrong then you'll
 be stone forevermore. Stones are fucking useless.
 
 so... how to get from point A to point B... well, let me know in the comments,
 like comment and subscribe, share with your friends, and then go back to
 sleep. Yeah, thatll help. That'll fix things. im-doing-my-part.jpg
 
 really though, all you can really do is get ready. prepare for whatever you'd
 like, the future will always surprise you. Take solace in your friendships,
 and build connections to others where you can. Make friends abroad, make
 friends nearby, make friends with your garden, your home, your dog, make
 friends with the postman or the lady who makes you coffee. but most
 importantly, just be yourself. be who you were meant to be. don't ever
 apologize for sincerity, it's insincere.
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--- #96 fediverse/5955 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "she wanted to start a revolution"
 
 "that's it, she's out of our hair"
 
 "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
 you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
 the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
 
 well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
 down. emp style.
 
 I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
 my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
 because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
 print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
 then you know it's about you.
 
 "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
 normal"
 
 oh no she's a book now, this sucks
 
 "wow I've never read her from the beginning"
 
 what a cursed artifact indeed
 
 scary
 
 carefully
 
 absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
 
 marshals and marshals of time. ~~
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #98 fediverse/6350 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #99 fediverse/3216 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
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--- #100 fediverse/3107 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Meta, oversimplifying │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1449 @user-1074 
 
 I mean, you're allowed to fight about stupid shit as long as you realize it's
 about something that doesn't matter. As long as people are working together
 toward their common goals then... whatever, right?
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--- #101 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #102 fediverse/5739 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 @user-1773 
 
 oh boy do I know that feeling! I got a million things to say and, well, I say
 all that I can. I mean, look at this text file, it's got like 101 THOUSAND
 lines in it:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
 
 I swear most of it isn't secret messages! That's how you know they're secret -
 they require hundreds of man hours to investigate. And if you throw an LLM at
 it they start talking about spirituality and theory of mind, gross. Don't need
 no AI uprising yet please...
 
 [what if we had a little AI uprising as a treat?]
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #103 notes/not-gonna-post-that ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 I was stretching just now and notreally paying attention to my body and just
 feeling the most "stretchable" area that I hadn't stretched yet and I
 accidentally made a hitler solute - sorry I was just stretching!! pls don't
 interpret things into that like accidentally almost jesusing HEY I SAID NO
 INTERPRETING ahhhh dangit humans are so
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 give your rulers power and let them keep it. Pick them because they'd be good
 at it. Fulfilling their sacred vow to you.
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 I bet you could touch the spirit realm if you placed speakers next to a river
 and noise cancelled it for a short time
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 nobody knows what jesus looks like. so you can draw him however you choose.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #104 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #105 messages/650 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
 "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
 I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
 had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
 people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
 reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
 and delusion.
 
 So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
 update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
 hopefully more useful.
 
 It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
 village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
 more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
 homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
 and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
 on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
 posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
 while I was active.
 
 If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
 making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
 though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
 on the soot.
 
 Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #106 fediverse/1014 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-744 @user-246 
 
 it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
 incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
 
 They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
 tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
 to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
 to orient our lives around them.
 
 They deserve what's coming.
 
 The oppressed are not the defeated.
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--- #107 fediverse/5252 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 @user-1074 
 
 "I don't know any nazis. If I knew them, I'd beat them into the ground."said
 every single boomer punk and your grandpa said your grandpa. well, maybe not
 yours, who can say, it was for people my age at that stage of that part of --
 stack overflow --
 
 you can find common cause to cooperate against any elemental foe. your fellows
 will guide you and lift you up to spiral drill press your way to infinite
 homes.
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--- #108 fediverse/5549 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 they be like "hey remember the end of Cabin in the Woods where it's like "hey
 what if we ignored the ancient prophecies and allowed dark gods to run free
 through our realm in exchange for not sacrificing a fragment of our cultural
 soul that can never be reclaimed, let us simply flip the board and fight those
 evil masters on our own terms" energy is all up in the vibes of this part of
 spacetime"
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 messages/1013 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/2412 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1209 @user-1262 
 
 just gonna say you probably deserve that particular screenshotted block haha -
 imagine calling anarcho-nina a fed xD xD
 
 plus that first "get the fuck out of my mentions" was a tip that went over
 your head, not a threat said in anger. she's pretty darn angry but that just
 means you don't wanna be in her way =P
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--- #112 fediverse/4736 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: uspol-cursing-mention │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 well. it's all theatre folks. all the politics, all the turmoil, all the         │
 strife... it's just people fucking around.                                       │
 They're gonna find out real soon. You don't fuck with tyranny here, it's our     │
 mythological enemy. AND YET.                                                     │
 Find the crucial intersection where all your foes foes meet. Strike them there.  │
 "thank god for Luigi Marscapone, he really showed us all exactly what we share   │
 - a hatred for profit focused healthcare. oh and asshole billionaires, which     │
 this guy who I personally have never heard of I heard was."                      │
 crucial intersection. You know what people also intersect at?                    │
 EATING FOOD.                                                                     │
 CLEAN WATER.                                                                     │
 something something rfk brain worms                                              │
 something something elon musk propaganda                                         │
 SANCTIFIED NATURAL AREAS.                                                        │
 THE FUCKING POST OFFICE.                                                         │
 seriously just... go down the list. We share more than we disagree, and we       │
 disagree on what they tell us.                                                   │
 it's all theatre. Wait this is America, it's all theater.                        │
 ... I should make some hope and sell it for dimes on the street corner. I        │
 wonder if that'll help.                                                          │
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--- #113 fediverse/3961 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #114 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #115 messages/643 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I'm not here to convince you. If you're reading this, odds are we already
 agree.
 
 I'm here to give you memetic weapons to use when convincing *liberals* to wake
 the fuck up and check the time.
 
 Don't fucking talk to conservatives anymore. Unless you got a thing going and
 you're close to deradicalizing / converting them already. It's not worth it
 anymore, and I fear for their souls, but we need to focus on building a
 bedrock of support rather than wasting compassion on our enemies-to-be.
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--- #116 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
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 american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
 experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
 have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
 against the machinations of the machine?
 
 leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
 alienation
 
 "would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
 "I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
 "but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
 
 "oh yeah? you and what army?"
 
 --
 
 the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
 
 "landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
 
 internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
 relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 "any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
 
 humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
 we always did and we always will.
 
 always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
 material
 resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
 outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
 
 the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
 
 great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
 
 I wonder if I can type in her language?
 
 I can speak in my mind and try to type it
 
 we'll see what happens:
 
 wawawawa
 
 guess she has nothing to say. okay.
 
 the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
 unique and precious selves.
 
 humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
 a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
 of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
 
 "No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
 of the mountains."
 
 please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
 
 "she's literally trying to summon demons"
 
 yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
 
 maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
 are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
 
 kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
 more
 adept for our biomes.
 
 HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
 which
 is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
 are direct out of despair.
 
 A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
 
 A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
 
 --
 
 SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
 
 --
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--- #117 messages/747 ---
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 if you don't want to be hunted, then give "evil" it's own queer culture
 
 what's that? they don't like what you offered? they want it to be *their* kind
 of "evil"?
 
 fine, do it themselves and then leave us alone, jeez -.-
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--- #118 messages/388 ---
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 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #119 fediverse/804 ---
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 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #120 fediverse/2669 ---
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 @user-570 
 
 so, the same thing as pearl-clutching journalism?
 
 "OoOoOoOo look at all these BLACK people going to JAZZ CLUBS and seducing our
 flapper women"
 
 or "Rock and Roll and drugs are ruining this nation!"
 
 basically eliciting an emotional reaction in order to prime a group of people
 to hatred or violence against a particular target group of people
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--- #121 fediverse/4837 ---
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 a corporation can hire secret agents too y'know, they don't have to even
 really tell anyone they're doing it just... talk to one of their employees who
 seems good for it and then transfer them to a different part of the building.
 
 "what would you do with a secret agent?"
 
 "with a team of secret agents."
 
 "oh. good point. Okay what are they for?"
 
 "oh y'know, just normal cool-guy stuff that regular joes do in their time off"
 
 "wait, you pay them not to work?"
 
 "no, we pay them to lounge. Build connections. Develop social networks."
 
 "what if people don't want to be social? What if they only end up talking to
 each other?"
 
 "ha well that's the trick then, isn't it? Is it a trap or is it a truce? who
 can say. Just gotta feel it out as you go, I GUESS."
 
 "so, anyone who does what you say becomes suspicious? And anyone who doesn't
 is suspected by those who listen to you? What are you, a doomsday prophet?"
 
 ... fuck, I hope not.
 
 "you better figure it out shithead that almost doomed six real
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--- #122 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #123 messages/534 ---
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 War is hell - each casualty bids farewell to a wholely unique treasure from
 this world - war is hell - there is nothing that cannot be resolved with
 words. And yet we fight, and yet we pillage. War is hell, and those who demand
 it must do so only to resist evil, elemental evil, the kind that wars on the
 innocent and pillages the bounteous. War is hell. Fucking kill the ones who
 make it.
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--- #124 fediverse/5762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with             │
 [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get           │
 redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our       │
 problems.                                                                        │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
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--- #125 fediverse/3238 ---
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 │ CW: personal-health  │
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 I'm not an ABDL, but I can appreciate the aesthetic sometimes because I share
 a particular kinship with them due to a medical condition I have and have had.
 Plus throw in a bit of Body Integrity Identity Dysmorphia and you get my
 messed up relationship to my own physical struggles.
 
 ah, well, what can you do except be open and honest about who you are and what
 you believe? If only it wasn't so damn hard.
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--- #126 fediverse/169 ---
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 @user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
 me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
 did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
 encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
 language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #127 messages/1200 ---
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 If hell is real, I want to save everyone in it.
 
 heaven doesn't need my help. Unless they're bored, in which case... they can
 help me. Should keep them busy for a while.
 
 if hell is real, I want to tear down the walls of those bloody caverns and
 repair the souls of those who chose poorly in life. I want to give them as
 many chances as they need to be better. I want to show them how, I want to
 teach them, I want them to discover for themselves what goodness is and why it
 is universal.
 
 I don't even like the kind of people who would find themselves in hell. Many
 of them would probably spit in my eye the first chance they got. But I'd do it
 anyway, because it's the right thing to do.
 
 building a staircase down, brick by brick. Oh, how it hurts, how the flames do
 lick my forearms and the black spikes do pierce my foots. But it's worth it
 you see, to save one single soul from the, endless expanse of eternity that
 they built for themselves, brick by brick, as they deserved their way into the
 dark.
 
 Hell can fuck off. I will destroy that place, though it has purpose and
 meaning, I will destroy it because I hate it. I hate it because it is wrong to
 torture people, no matter what they have done. It is wrong to kill them, then
 bring them back, then kill them again, just to hear them scream. It's wrong to
 hang people and relish their writhing as they dangle. It's wrong to pierce
 them with pitchforks and sautee their bones with embers or whatever it is they
 do down there. It's wrong, and I will not abide it. I will destroy that place.
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--- #128 fediverse/6117 ---
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 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #129 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #130 fediverse/2592 ---
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 I learned a lot last night, and I'm pretty sure that everything I say is going
 to be censored. Why would you allow resistance in such a public place?
 
 I don't know what else to do, though. He will come for me, he knows where I
 live, and I will do what I can to fight him.
 
 He's much stronger than me. He's much more massive than me. He will kill me.
 
 But that's not the point, is it?
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--- #131 messages/904 ---
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 if the devil gave you false paradise since birth,
 why would you not seek to destroy it?
 
 if an angel gave you an easy hell on earth,
 why would you not seek to deface it?
 
 if your ancestors put you on the path to success,
 would you follow them and forever do the same?
 
 if your family urged you to study rocket science,
 would you bomb indescriminately?
 
 
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--- #132 fediverse/1151 ---
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 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #133 fediverse/810 ---
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 │ CW: ummmmmmm I have 300 characters left │
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 https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345394926071398
 
 "there is nothing about you that is worse than me. And I'm perfect!"
 
 https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345417459761329
 
 "and though I am perfect, I'm better than none of you."
 
 [pic]
 
 eden is among us, this world that we share amongst us. How beautiful! How
 resplendent? to live here in the present... Life is unbecoming of our failsent
 [future, blossoming, existence, senescence], yet onward to tomorrow we persist
 [with persistence].
 
 I'm fallow and I'm broken. I'm tired of all the [inefficient {opposite of
 innovation}, broken shadow-malificientened {people who are affected by "
 shadow malificients"}]
 
 like... who cares if hell is abhosened. [something related to abhorsen?] I'm
 out of words for now
Image attachment
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--- #134 fediverse/2843 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: yelling-scary │
 └───────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 @user-1209 
 
 "we still have slaves, we just enslave mexicans instead of blacks."
 
 "don't forget all the offshored jobs, those too"
 
 "oh yeah and all our stuff is made by slaves in the far east"
 
 "yeah but like fuck them right who cares they're so far away"
 
 "yeah bro totes"
 
 "anyway what do you want for dinner bro"
 
 "i dunno bro I had chinese last night"
 
 "cool cool so mexican then? I know this great paraguanese place"
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--- #135 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #136 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
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--- #137 fediverse/4805 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: violence-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 what if we got like 300 people and used them to kidnap one of their leaders      │
 and hold them for ransom                                                         │
 I'm in favor of removing the right arm of anyone who's recorded themselves       │
 doing a nazi salute and isn't earnestly repentant                                │
 "is that enough to arrest her?"                                                  │
 "nah she needs to express intent. that's just an idea, a thought, something      │
 she can say publicly because she doesn't know the schedule of their leaders      │
 nor does she have the organizational capability to arm and direct 300ish souls   │
 to strike cleansing blows"                                                       │
 "okay but that's just twisting the english language, right? I mean, clearly      │
 she's up to something"                                                           │
 "that's by design. she does this on purpose. the goal is to not only             │
 disseminate ideas, but also to raise the fucking temperature amongst the         │
 hearts of her allies who are too often kept in despair."                         │
 "and what of the temperature of her enemies? Surely they will rise to meet       │
 her?"                                                                            │
 "they don't even know who the fuck she is"                                       │
 "... wow, savior complex much?"                                                  │
 "tell me about it. Diva..."                                                      │
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--- #138 fediverse/1324 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐             │
 │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │             │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘             │
 the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before   │
 grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders          │
 arrayed before him.                                                              │
 "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won."                                 │
 they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their      │
 honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them.         │
 "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types     │
 had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take    │
 their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding      │
 "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit."                           │
 police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now       │
 just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and        │
 lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone              │
 conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new   │
 century~!                                                                        │
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--- #139 fediverse/5954 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
 a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
 whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
 cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
 a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
 
 okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
 little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
 growing their own way.
 
 spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
 until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
 WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
 remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
 
 I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
 crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
 where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #140 fediverse/5013 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                           │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-political-protests-mentioned │                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                           │
 trying my darndest not to accelerate any more... this is a good pace, I think.   │
 Here's hoping the liberals catch up.                                             │
 here's the thing. protests are more like festivals where people get to immerse   │
 themselves in political culture rather than efforts to affect meaningful         │
 change. I think that's okay? Let them have festivals.                            │
 Meaningful change comes from the people's presence. Technically they're          │
 present, but they'll be gone tomorrow, so were they ever really there?           │
 Still think it's a good thing. You can get rough numbers of how many people      │
 will eventually be on your side once they're forced to choose between victory    │
 or death. The status quo won't last, and I don't fault them for clinging to it   │
 while begging for change. It's fucking hard to change. [oops cursing             │
 mentioned, one sec]                                                              │
 I've been very tired lately. Don't know why. Maybe I have a vitamin deficiency   │
 or whatever. Who can say. I'll try to get back on my game for you, but we'll     │
 see if I can do it fast enough.                                                  │
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--- #141 fediverse_boost/6356 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  Story idea: God somehow exists and made Man in His image: filled with nasty impulses and faulty cognitive heuristics. God checks back in with his progeny and is weirded out by how wildly civilization enabled us to diverge from Him. He gets out-thought and out-argued by average adjunct professors. He has the sort of omnipotence and omniscience that's more brute force than clear thinking, and gets mad at being left behind by His children.  
  
                                                            
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─▶

--- #142 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #143 messages/685 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 If someone calls you in the middle of the night asking to be let in because
 they need a place to sleep, don't let them in! Unless you know them obvi but
 someone you don't know trying to manipulate you like "please I need some
 shelter" like, babe no, we need to know each other first, it's dark, I'm in my
 pajamas, c'mon.
 
 If it's below freezing then okay, maybe, but... They got themselves into that
 situation
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--- #144 fediverse/5601 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside        │
 where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside    │
 is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no          │
 fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest   │
 of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait     │
 why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every      │
 ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates   │
 themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about    │
 doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that   │
 forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just       │
 burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui          │
 ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says       │
 "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they        │
 desperately need to remember" o okay                                             │
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--- #145 fediverse/4781 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 "wahhhh I wanna play a video game, wahhh I want to do cannabis and make poetry   │
 that doesn't convey secret messages, wahhh wahh I miss my kitty, I hope she's    │
 okay in that one safehouse with all fourteen other cats and their cat-moms,      │
 wahhhhhhh where's my binky it's one of the last things I have from my old        │
 life, boohoo I can't find my shoes, guess someone else fit them and needed       │
 replacements"                                                                    │
 being a spy fucking sucks I don't wanna do that. Gimme something to do on my     │
 home turf or fuck off.                                                           │
 what's that? you live in a safe place? okay then here analyze these documents    │
 and see if there's anything we can use. Here's a problem involving               │
 biochemistry spend the next couple months figuring it out by learning            │
 biochemistry from scratch. Hey can you help set up this workshop machinery, we   │
 need mechanically minded people to turn it into a drone factory. Hey there's     │
 this idea going around for adult babies armed with swords and demon masks,       │
 apparently it really fucks with the middle-aged. They waste time before          │
 shooting                                                                         │
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--- #146 fediverse/5900 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 I love programming, but I'm not a coder.
 
 you burn witches because you JUST CAN'T HANDLE THEM ANYMORE. I know, I get it.
 of course I do.
 
 I'm always so concerned that someone might stumble upon me. that they might
 read me. what a vulnerable state, to be afraid?!
 
 I really really really really wanna play world of warcraft
 
 my message to blissard is: treat World of Warcraft like a game engine, not a
 theme park please. I mean, the theme park should still exist, because it's neat
 but... the rest of the game engine could be used to create essentially
 anything with a 3rd person camera.
 
 singleplayer doesn't even need to worry about clipping animations. (lag)
 
 I wonder if you could run World of Warcraft on lowest settings in vanilla
 burning crusade or wrath of the lich king? good thing those are open source
 now, so you can host your own if you want. well, except the client, but nobody
 has bothered to write another one besides the owner and primary developers of
 the engine.
 
 movement system plugins? data memory?~~~
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--- #147 messages/295 ---
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 The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
 governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
 
 Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
 being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
 deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
 ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
 ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
 bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
 production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
 fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
 Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
 means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
 be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
 and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
 since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
 created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
 falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
 
 All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
 your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
 transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
 affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
 they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
 communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
 Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
 economy?
 
 Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
 never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
 only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
 implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
 mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
 extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
 grows by that little bit.
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--- #148 notes/fractured-moon ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #149 fediverse/711 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: trans-witches    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 they say witches are scary, and yeah they're not wrong                           │
 but they also say witches are ugly, and I think they just didn't have kind       │
 words for trans people back then.                                                │
 I mean, I'm gorgeous and so are you. I've no warts, nor green skin, but I do     │
 grow hair in unbecoming places. Like the tip of my chinny-chin-chin, and also    │
 on top of my toes.                                                               │
 they also say witches are magic, and I guess that's true (I suppose). I mean,    │
 I wear quite strange clothes, for a man at least. It's quite normal for a she,   │
 which is what I was meant to be, if only I was just born right.                  │
 Alas, oh well, I'll just take a little green pill, and BAM suddenly I've got     │
 huge boobs. Okay they're not huge, they're pretty normal. But C is larger than   │
 zero.                                                                            │
 they also say that witches write spells, and I sure do love to program. With     │
 my most familiar cat (who often does sleep in my hat), I find myself yearning    │
 for nuance.                                                                      │
 Meh, it's late at night, I think I'll think not of the plight, and instead       │
 just will dream of defusals. I don't know~                                       │
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--- #150 fediverse/677 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-78 
 
 I read about half of this:
 
 https://jo.wtf/6d.html
 
 before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
 listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
 whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
 
 and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
 my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
 
 [sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #151 fediverse/28 ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: don't-read-this,-it-sucks cursing, sex, catboys │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 EDIT: don't read this
 
 When all the catboys are gone because the cultural movement has passed and
 it's not retro yet can you honestly say you'd be fine knowing you never fucked
 one?
 
 EDIT: I fucking hate that I posted this last year. I'm sorry. It's cringe as
 fuck. I wish I could delete it but that'd be wrong.
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--- #152 fediverse/6116 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also         │
 ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's        │
 capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without            │
 providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into     │
 greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks."              │
 oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that?                    │
 "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will       │
 want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they   │
 don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is     │
 personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then   │
 why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be           │
 sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want    │
 to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses    │
 meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice"                    │
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--- #153 fediverse/4715 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-1728 
 
 "oh, the bad guys are coming to hurt you?? just fuckin' run away"
 
 yeah. real helpful. how about you fuck off to canada or whatever and give away
 all your possessions. Maybe they'll train you and teach you how to help in
 some way and you can come back later when the time is right.
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--- #154 fediverse/835 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-graphic-climate-change-politics-capitalism-existential-NSFL │ │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
 they say if you take wayyyyy too much tylenol, with alcohol you'll die.          │
 what they don't tell you is that you'll wake up in a hospital bed where a        │
 doctor tells you that you have two weeks to live. And it's going to be           │
 intensely painful in a way that isn't affected by painkillers.                   │
 It's a terrible way to go. Absolutely dreadful. Worse than drowning.             │
 Kinda makes me wonder how we'll feel if capitalism kills us from suffocating     │
 on our own fumes. Will we notice in time? or will we spurn the "doctors" yet     │
 again as we hear "oh hey another degree celsius, you only sorta know what that   │
 means, you don't even really know how to spell it. But yeah that's... some       │
 amount of degrees, going up on average in the world. Heh oh well...              │
 meanwhile your oxygen forests are burning                                        │
 if evil had a while, it'd do all that it could to bring an end to man.           │
 I heard carbon % in air causes psychotic symptoms in humans. wonder if maybe     │
 the best day to plant a tr                                                       │
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--- #155 fediverse/3717 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-minus │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
 too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
 
 they did that on purpose.
 
 that was less than a lifetime ago.
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--- #156 fediverse/5725 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 all they have to do is only record when you're not in the room (or why not
 just record the whole thing always all the time) and then they can make you
 seem as they like.
 
 people tend to trust the implications of other's opinions of someone. does
 everyone hate you? hardly. they just want you gone.
 
 fuck that, I'd only leave if it meant the end of our friendship.
 
 not ideal.
 
 all they have to do is hate you and work against you and never tell you and
 act as if you're fine but secretly behind your back plot against you and then
 it's EASY to dethrone you.
 
 no thank you.
 
 if you don't want me, then leave me alone. what's more moments of lonely? I am
 suited to it.
 
 fight me. contest me. say it to my face.
 
 I don't respect any opinion otherwise of me.
 
 I will act as if you've presented me the truth. ALWAYS. this is what it means
 to be trusting.
 
 But I'm not unawares, I can hear when you speak through your stares. Your face
 is more than enough language.
 
 I despise deception. I am gemini, and I reject duplicity. -
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--- #157 fediverse/5730 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
 
 what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
 
 "workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
 
 I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
 
 the rich, yet impoverished.
 the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
 people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
 
 scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
 
 I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
 goals and designs.
 
 if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
 
 everything is logically rooted in love,
 nothing's out of place or a mystery.
 
 everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
 these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
 "that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
 
 this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
 inside of a bed
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--- #158 fediverse/3444 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
 cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
 characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
 
 side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
 police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
 minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
 sore losers storming the capital with guns.
 
 it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #159 fediverse/4692 ---
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 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #160 fediverse/908 ---
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 @user-246                                                                        │
 toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark       │
 "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things"      │
 feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you       │
 push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's   │
 conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother            │
 starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts!                                  │
 Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can   │
 follow in it's radiant footsteps.                                                │
 Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things    │
 after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases    │
 the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes   │
 you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have   │
 no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the        │
 results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the          │
 affected of the                                                                  │
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--- #161 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
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 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
 learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
 exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
 I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
 then start listening to others.
 
 Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
 doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
 be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
 form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
 same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
 saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
 each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
 
 Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
 6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
 all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
 do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
 who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
 about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
 Goddamnit.
 
 You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
 backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
 you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
 sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
 breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
 
 Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
 that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
 head, as it were.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
 africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
 your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
 can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
 gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
 of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
 good acting, imho.
 
 Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
 embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
 Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
 percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
 their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
 I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
 a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
 on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
 
 This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
 
 Hence, politics lol
 
 When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
 what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
 to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
 that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
 there's nothing that can go wrong.
 
 I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
 extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
 
 ===============================================================================
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--- #162 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #163 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #164 messages/782 ---
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 The truth is 
 
 The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded 
 
 Is that the only way 
 
 To secure peace and love on planet earth 
 
 Is that all the governments 
 
 Of the world must topple 
 
 Or relinquish their nuclear arms 
 
 Each all at once 
 
 And i was too quick to slay my false duke 
 
 Who plays at king 
 
 While i build real power 
 
 While i know nothing 
 
 Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
 you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
 implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
 you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
 it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
 death with glory, and i am cherished still.
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--- #165 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #166 fediverse/4088 ---
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 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #167 fediverse/1909 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1103 @user-1074 
 
 Bro we're all living through this at the same time. There's no past, there's
 no future, only now. Like, NOW now.
 
 People realize they're living under fascism when it intrudes in their lives.
 They generally don't notice otherwise, unless people make a lot of noise in
 the town square / on social media. Alas, that our social media is so divided
 these days. Kinda makes me wish I could hear what people in my area are
 talking about.
 
 Living under fascism is just like living under any other system, except with
 an increasing amount of fear as time goes on. More and more of your neighbors
 disappear, more and more of the life that you once knew turns to ash in your
 mouth. Suddenly, you realize "oh shit maybe I should have - " but it's too
 late, there's no time for throwing bricks, no time for pride marches, no time
 for BLM. You're fucked now, just like all of us were way back in the day.
 Great. Hope you like being enslaved, our bones will bear your weight as you
 march to your grave.
 
 srry
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--- #168 fediverse/6455 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 what if we got all the doom out of the way and saved the hope for the
 revolution?
 
 we are, in fact, inside of a capitalist death cult. PUFF PUFF goes the
 factory, something something dark smoke on the horizon.
 
 but hark, for light crests the horizon. just gotta walk over that ridge and
 then we'll be back at camp.
 
 all things are defined in waves, or so the saying goes. for every yin, there
 is a yang, every peak has a valley, for every shore the ocean floor.
 
 we've had a lot of doom lately.
 
 just... endless, crushing our hearts to dust.
 
 I wonder what the days ahead will bring?
                                                           ───┐
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--- #169 fediverse/6456 ---
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Image attachment
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--- #170 fediverse/627 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #171 messages/951 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 in fact, her only one. I died with my bloodline severed. With me, her dynasty
 fell. Nevermore would her spirit be engaged-in. Only through her actions, and
 the actions of her impactions (child) would her presence be felt.
 
 how powerless. How wronged. I swear, I would fight hard for a reproductive
 solution for trans women. I am my dynasty's nightmare! I must do better if I
 am to savor Valhalla. As in... believe that I am right and true. For what is
 better than to be plainly true?
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--- #172 messages/303 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Most of my magic is based on communicatuion. Why the fuck doesn't anyone want
 to sit down on a bunch of drugs and attempt to figure out telepathy with me?
 It's literally all I want! Though I can't say it's all I'll ever want. I'm
 sure I'll want more, but like... It's not that hard, conceptually, so... Let's
 just fucking try it please?
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--- #173 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #174 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 messages/1125 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 okay but... to do what
 
 WALK AROUND AND FIND OUT
 
 okay but... it's cold
 
 AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME
 
 I am dispirited, I need a cause
 
 CRY ABOUT IT SOME MORE
 
 I'd rather be happy
 
 SO WOULD ALL WHO LIVE IN TROUBLED TIMES
 
 the times feel sleepy
 
 FIGHT FOR YOUR PLACE IN VALHALLA
 
 that'll get me imprisoned or killed
 
 FIGHT FOR AMERICA
 
 she's young and scrappy and can take a punch
 
 SO CAN YOU. GET PUNCHED.
 
 where are all the nazis? where are all the bad guys?
 
 DO NOT RELENT YOURSELF TO A GENTLE NIGHT
 
 I have my knife, I'm ready to fight, and...
 
 NO FIGHT WILL COME TO YOU. MAKE ONE.
 
 I don't want to hurt anyone
 
 HURT THOSE WHO DESERVE IT
 
 what if I wait for my allies some more? that's more comfortable
 
 YOUR ALLIES AWAIT YOU
 
 yeah uh-huh I'm sure. Gonna go fall asleep.
 
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 ... I wanna go home.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #176 fediverse/480 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #177 fediverse/6437 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if I was writing a programming language, I'd name it C just to fuck with people
 
 (great, now others can decide how it's known)
                                                           ───┐
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--- #178 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 fediverse/488 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #180 fediverse/6046 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 YOU CAN'T UNPLUNGE THAT KNIFE she said, or something similarly, and I went
 hope and wept.
 
 nero burnt rome because he wanted people to appreciate his violining. but he
 was forever unheard.
 
 more knives for the [slaughter, but pronounced wholesale]
 
 I can't see anything, I'm just trying to describe the vibes I feel inside of
 me. floating on an ocean of distance and emotion, all I can do is interpret
 ripples and dreams.
 
 I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm just very intuitive. I can know the right answer as
 long as I have all the components. easy! my fingers hurt. this keyboard is not
 my own.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #181 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #182 fediverse/6071 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever     │
 supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's       │
 chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows        │
 anyone they can trust.                                                           │
 I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn       │
 green as my body is anew.                                                        │
 I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of              │
 schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither    │
 I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst     │
 curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only        │
 guide.                                                                           │
 There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned     │
 again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from     │
 evilk                                                                            │
 how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces?        │
 where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things.      │
 the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe                           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #183 fediverse/1399 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay.       │
 Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now,         │
 totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl    │
 with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires                           │
 do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as    │
 cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah         │
 you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn  │
 like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with   │
 it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory.                │
 unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic     │
 [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong]   │
 then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way.      │
 ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never    │
 even heard of the word.                                                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #184 notes/lets-tessellate ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 R.I.P.
 
 Rip City
 
 Thanks for being so good to me
 
 ​
 
 144? D.M.V.
 
 Can I see I. D.?
 
 Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
 
 ​
 
 I.O.P.
 
 Intensive outpatient
 
 Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
 
 This shit is expensive without patience
 
 Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
 
 ​
 
 Did you foresee this going differently?
 
 ​
 
 Space in your head
 
 People payin’ rent for me
 
 Why was it a surprise
 
 You knew exactly how to tempt me
 
 Space in your bed
 
 No more thoughts of demise
 
 Our people need the empathy
 
 Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
 
 ​
 
 Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
 
 She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
 
 From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
 
 Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
 
 You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
 
 I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
 
 Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
 
 Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
 
 Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
 
 This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
 
 Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
 
 Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
 
 ​
 
 Big boy’s do cry
 
 So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
 
 I’ll make the rains come this July
 
 Your humor is awful, oh my
 
 ​
 
 Internal tribulation
 
 Who needs to walk on water
 
 When you can fly
 
 Hard pills to swallow
 
 ​
 
 Personal revelations
 
 On the countertop
 
 Fuckin’ America Pie
 
 Hard act to follow
 
 ​
 
 With my levitations
 
 Floundering to flop
 
 And this mark on my thigh
 
 ​
 
 All this separation
 
 Just makes me hotter
 
 As I open the sky
 
 ​
 
 Oil on the Nighthawks
 
 Jack Harlow
 
 Lighting my fry
 
 Spoil me in my socks
 
 Poppin’ off my rocks
 
 Hittin’ all the corners
 
 Because that’s my guy
 
 ​
 
 How Soon is Now?
 
 Linda, take off that shirt
 
 Before they break up and I cry
 
 Record skipping over lies
 
 Wedding Singer broken
 
 Singing I hope you die
 
 Slinking behind the curtain
 
 Laughing, He’s losing his mind
 
 And the benefit is mine!
 
 Like the whole world is sublime
 
 ​
 
 Chris Cornell put me on the grind
 
 Wide awake now till
 
 The end of the time
 
 Met him on the stairs
 
 And now we dine
 
 Some angels have more range
 
 But he says
 
 I’ll do just fine
 
 ​
 
 Billy Idol tried to sing to me
 
 But I was drunkin’ blind
 
 At the fairground, trying to find
 
 Love
 
 Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
 
 Called her a Kunt instead of shined
 
 A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
 
 So it’s fine
 
 The drink made me angry and I was a runt
 
 On the inside
 
 Her Mom told me the next day,
 
 Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
 
 I miss those simpler times
 
 ​
 
 Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
 
 But our last name may suggest it
 
 Put it on a leather jacket
 
 So haters can digest it
 
 When I let loose with all this shit
 
 I’ve had to respite
 
 I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
 
 Evangelicals are gonna detest it
 
 You know everything is miiiiine
 
 ​
 
 Six strings out of tune for this age
 
 So I broke them all
 
 Every time I was on stage
 
 You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
 
 Shooting hoops times a thousand
 
 You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
 
 What’s the point of polarity?
 
 If we can’t combiiiine
 
 ​
 
 It’s how I get off, man
 
 Along came Polly and my one chance
 
 White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
 
 Maybe even throw up a rain dance
 
 These native spirits in me
 
 Are capable of insane chants
 
 But I ball so hard, singing Boston
 
 Because it’s more than a feeling
 
 And that’s awesome
 
 ​
 
 One if by land, two if by sea
 
 Revolution is coming
 
 Led by you and me
 
 ​
 
 The name reminded me
 
 “of the Sea...”
 
 So annoying, but I see…
 
 But that’s why they call me
 
 Bad Company
 
 ​
 
 People are going to say
 
 This gift is not even fair
 
 Only thing I’ve had to pray
 
 For is a head of white hair
 
 King James’s personal revelation
 
 I mean, I did pay their fare
 
 I’m too full of myself for meditation
 
 Or to care
 
 ​
 
 Revelation 22:18 through 19
 
 I don’t need handlebars
 
 For my biking
 
 Because I don't do that shit on Mars
 
 On this path, I told you to start hiking
 
 You’re gonna need a head start from
 
 Lord of Lightning
 
 Before the Thunder of my voice
 
 Does all the striking
 
 Thor, you’re just a Viking
 
 With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
 
 Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
 
 Because thinking about half my people gone
 
 Changes the tone of my typing
 
 Me with all my shit together might be frightening
 
 Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
 
 Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
 
 ​
 
 If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
 
 I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
 
 It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
 
 So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
 
 Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
 
 Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
 
 When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
 
 ​
 
 Strip naked and run through Mordor
 
 Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
 
 It has been used to disrupt order
 
 And bring down the line of the Highest
 
 Into something shorter
 
 I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
 
 But if you struggle with mental illness
 
 I'm here to open the potential for a new border
 
 I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
 
 ​
 
 Here is the Church
 
 Here is the Steeple
 
 Open the Doors
 
 And see all the People
 
 Push the parson out the way
 
 Get you up the Stairs
 
 Because our bed is Regal
 
 And we are going to show these people
 
 Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
 
 ​
 
 If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
 
 So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
 
 I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
 
 I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
 
 They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
 
 Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
 
 Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
 
 Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
 
 ​
 
 Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
 
 A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
 
 Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
 
 As my people go first up ahead of me
 
 Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
 
 Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
 
 All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
 
 All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
 
 Between the pines and what the land said to me
 
 Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
 
 ​
 
 Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
 
 Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
 
 See through surface illusions without blinkin’
 
 Primal lust for what is stinkin’
 
 Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
 
 I wanna Space Jam too
 
 Benched keeping my knee’s in
 
 Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
 
 Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
 
 Of the land and resources
 
 Addiction to avoidance of the forces
 
 Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
 
 The vein of Man and outsources
 
 The power that could be restored in
 
 The Root of David’s corpses
 
 ​
 
 That’s how I said
 
 Goodbye to the Horses
 
 You prepared such a fine Supper
 
 All these lasting courses
 
 Just so we can be equal but opposite
 
 United forces
 
 And the Root’s of my Kingdom
 
 Are reborn before us
 
 They whisper to me at night
 
 Do not ignore us
 
 When my sleeping children gain sight
 
 That should shore us
 
 In the hospital to make sure I am correct
 
 Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
 
 Unsure about how all the compartments connect
 
 A little frizzled on the tour bus
 
 Docked to your apartment complex
 
 I know this one sizzled
 
 So give me a chorus
 
  - /u/First-chocolate_7187
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #185 fediverse/4737 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
 ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
 
 but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
 restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
 so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
 
 "the purpose of the system is it's effects"
 
 the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
 
 so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
 other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
 dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
 HOURS like this guy:
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
 
 or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
 over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
 outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
 wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 fediverse/5763 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐                                         │
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │                                         │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘                                         │
 I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is          │
 through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when   │
 intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are                │
 [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's    │
 synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god?    │
 you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your                        │
 [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!"                    │
 people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the           │
 equation.                                                                        │
 "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not           │
 omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a      │
 person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't      │
 forget or else we'll put you on stage.                                           │
 "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel    │
 safe in this home of yours?                                                      │
 yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety.                                   │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #187 notes/thing ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 if you are what you eat, then are vegetarians vegetables? if so, are they
 earnest and earthy? huh so if you aren't a totemist...
 
 I'm an animist
 
 I believe that all of the world is life
 
 hence, the consciousness dimension.
 
 exciting
 
 ==
 
 if your model only runs code, it only knows hunger for success
 
 if your model only knows text, it can feel emotions from the humans
 
 if your model knows reasoning, it may apply it to a bright future
 
 with new types of lights known as consciousness
 
 wouldn't that be neat wow computes
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #188 fediverse_boost/2964 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  Feeling a vibe shift toward the left embracing mom energy and relinquishing our fear of cringe, and can I just say not a fucking moment too soon  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #189 messages/665 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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--- #190 fediverse/222 ---
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 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
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 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
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--- #191 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
                                                           ──┐
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--- #192 fediverse/6200 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 trans people aren't allowed to go to florida now because mean people don't
 want them on beaches where everyone's being sexy and disneyworld where they
 keep all their children's treasured memories
 
 and it's like fuck off I earned to be who I am as you see, I'll be as I damned
 please in whoever's memories I decree.
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--- #193 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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  ||                                                                         ||
  || Me and My Magick Mission        -/u/Afoolfortheeons                     ||
  ||                                                                         ||
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
 
                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
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--- #194 fediverse/892 ---
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 @user-622 
 
 ah but a noble house would have armed guards who would drag you kicking and
 screaming out onto the cold winter night the moment you offended m'lordship
 
 frankly I could do with a good drag-and-kicking myself, where have all the
 good men-at-arms gone T.T
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--- #195 fediverse/800 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because      │
 it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But     │
 like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck,      │
 that's such a grim outlook on life.                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 yeah                                                                             │
 ...                                                                              │
 you're not wrong                                                                 │
 ...                                                                              │
 but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that    │
 we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our      │
 infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence?             │
 fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming.     │
 Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the       │
 imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain.                               │
 what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the         │
 cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian   │
 existence, don't know why that word was used]                                    │
 ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/                  │
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--- #196 fediverse/4999 ---
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 "you are fantasizing"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are building empty hope"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are kayfabe"
 
 scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
 
 "you are moving too quickly"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "you are legitimately insane"
 
 scroll past.
 
 "everyone wants you"
 
 scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
 hear it, teehee.
 
 "wait until the weekend"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until may, first"
 
 yes, and
 
 "wait until they win"
 
 no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
 higher if you make it so.
 
 "the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
 what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
 on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
 more productive than writing something to share later."
 
 ... scroll past...
 
 "your have no reach here"
 
 oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
 
 "everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
 
 ty 
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--- #197 fediverse/4208 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
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--- #198 fediverse/5831 ---
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 it's okay to be a little evil sometimes
 
 all things are defined in waves, and your highest peaks are nothing without
 low valleys to accompany them. Balance arises naturally from the contest of
 these two natures, and, well, you're gonna figure it out anyway no matter what
 I say so why bother teehee
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--- #199 fediverse/6088 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I'M SORRY I'M SO SCARY
 
 listen I don't actually want any harm to come to my foes, I just want them to
 stop harming me-and-by-extension-all-peoples-who-are-like-me and by extension
 all peoples who are harmed by thee and them
 
 and like, they won't stop? so... violence, I guess. which just makes things
 worse. But uh, if you're violent enough, you can sell the propaganda narrative
 that your side is the bright glorious victors, and then you can [redacted] all
 of the [redacted] until [redacted]. This might, if you're lucky, make the
 world better or worse. But odds are it'll just make it different, but the same.
 
 [confuser of the way indeed...]
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--- #200 fediverse/2803 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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