=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: -mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ what if life was an array of experiences orchestrated by the whims of determinism and arranged as a performance just for you, waiting with bated breath for your reaction, your thunderous applause, your scathing review, your rowdy cheers, your celebratory laughter and your wails of despair ... tell me, when's the last time you wailed? laughed? cheered? scathed? thundered? bated, and breathed? I'm so sick of computers fucking telling me how to feel fuck you, computer, and your pinpricks of information gleaned from the internet at large do a better job of... of... wait, shit, why do I use computers again? ... oh right, to fill that crushing void. THAT crushing void. Of course, THAT one in particular. How could I forget. Why are you so voidful? Could you try, like... not being full of voids ... modern day youngsters learning in real time what the members of the royal court would always "... welp : |" at each other about "you act as if you WANT to waste time... wait... shit, you do, don't you?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 notes/the=progressive=difference. --- ════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────── think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement, parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self. computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the blind. so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind) those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of contemptuous last fighters? o ya i was typing like i was blind (with my eyes closed) was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game? like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these days) what was I going with this? oh yeah ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 notes/schooling --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. =============================================================================== = "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and your conditioners?" (conditions) those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want to be. but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice! here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band. =============================================================================== = the world is blossoming as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming becoming. "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see" most people don't want to see their death but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold her " "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be" the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art (at least to a capitalist) =============================================================================== = lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure was I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god? like, if he was a real thing. god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our own good, just to keep things moving. y'know, time. the universe, and everything. Ephemeren. =============================================================================== = I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this particular person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when this person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you. =============================================================================== = just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true, after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably autistic? unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for all people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it? patience, once it's ready. we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready. or not... one day I'll come, I'm sure it'll happen, it's just... not quite feasible right now. I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is to be? isn't what ISN'T WHAT MENARDI FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry yeesh you've still got a temper you know? well what can I say it's frustrating down here eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego >.> <.< (great) > >hehe > >sorry for distracting you =============================================================================== = you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack overflow ================================================ a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow === ========================================================== the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and they've got your back through it. ... this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus. =============================================================================== = I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just made sense to structure it that way. =============================================================================== = the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's doctrine is more advanced. every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, ===================== stack overflow =========================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 notes/four-dimensional-spaces --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only see things that are coming directly toward you. magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn your narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter- operationality. your dark side is just a massive bitch hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time "how do we get the player to do this or that" "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different" "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30 to afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and B.." it's literally their job actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like... you're up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do, but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as a creature roasts alive. yikes. ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just fun to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow, nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat! ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an value (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting there staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it. it's the worst. anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like... duh it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like, they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation, relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally, something that someone could take the arguments of the other side and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or not. like, lawyers arguing for a client. in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-] every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives, in terms of the spaces we choose to fill. well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces are just waves on the winds of light. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 notes/death-and-afterlife --- ════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────── the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on the past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing and unaware land people) Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we can charter. the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these mistakes? Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and we really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we are placed, has more to our fate that can align us. hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we are commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus our bravest of intentions. okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing power used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere. basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting game. Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward it unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of the definitive quantity "quantity". okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms. I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments - (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint, how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of *incredible* complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative? in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself. What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed? our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I doomed to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know you're right~? they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean? you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam will alight as our shadow. There's no call for violence, let's settle this plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance. The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of she, and flagged our approach as impending. did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's waaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy y out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions. but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 notes/new-texting-app-idea --- ══════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────── when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder forming letters in the sky anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after typing your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about the things you say. Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet. Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 notes/alright-grab-a-seat --- ═══════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me. =============================================================================== ===================== /u/randomevenings If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall. You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do. I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes, it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment, if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique opportunity. I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary thought. Here we go. Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism. Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we can't turn this shit around. You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im seen, treated, is the same either way? Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain. Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome. Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this, oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better anyhow, win or lose. Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect, because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're treated the same in the end. Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations. <# =============================================================================== ======================= /u/ugathanki: =============================================================================== ======================= I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i expect the best of us and our time. i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they always say, the pen is mightier than the sword) sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's better than word salad I guess? Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing, not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is warming and i'm here just conforming. Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering Essential Normalizations. This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me. Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/4500 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐ ║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │ │ ║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud │ ║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's │ ║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and │ ║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take │ ║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper │ ║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep │ ║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up │ ║ to be an incel or whatever │ ║ │ ║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda │ ║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared │ ║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the │ ║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why │ ║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important │ ║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┴──────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/804 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │ ║ │ ║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │ ║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │ ║ perceive it from. │ ║ │ ║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │ ║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │ ║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │ ║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │ ║ │ ║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │ ║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │ ║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │ ║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │ ║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │ ║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │ ║ circumstances which define our act │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #9 notes/words-to-myself --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I'm just going to transcribe what I hear please don't you hear me (something) what? perfect listen ... ... don't text me now? (I think?) [didn't catch that] ... that's okay perfect thank you just a second facebook he's here (I think?) (or maybe something her) what I love you (or maybe I know her?) do you hear me? (or "just a second") (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever, please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe) what's that (or maybe holy shit) what, then perfect or okay (?) (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned) yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda... worthless I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something, but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course, in life there's no second chances. I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz will continue after the break, when the messages resume. - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024 =============================================================================== = (and we're back. hopefully.) (too many things srry) something about having it open? (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me) (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the [whole/right/wrong] thing) thank you oh, again? (or oh, she did?) they caught you (um) ... (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.) (I understand.) ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.) (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game) (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back) ... (I should learn Toki Pona) you don't know it? RIGHT away learn it yes please learn it just Learn it right now (sorry only half listening) shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$) (shutdown) =============================================================================== = (hiii) (I'm hungry) (do you like ramen?) (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't understand the first part) (oh you probably want me to scroll up right) ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?) ... (I'm (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends? Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?) yes, stupid (your words not mine) (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk) goddamnit remember me ... (trying...) remember her (two syllables) (my name is Cameron) (your name is...) [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see] (shit my opsec sucks) {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean) {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-) (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't enter a door) =============================================================================== = (I practice with my sword every day.) (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it) (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.) (punching is fucking stupid) (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword) =============================================================================== = (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me") "she's perfect" "cameron" "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing") (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled) don't leave remember (did she know) ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?) did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america just a random thought (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?) goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?) wait who's missing? A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in disarray capitalism's a bad plan, just saying... frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter (taking a break while I eat) =============================================================================== = WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what exactly I'm supposed to be doing. you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the window's open. errrr the connection. ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best. yeah I'll live with you in portland .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl" have the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol "please come back" to where tho listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon ..... can you be more specific? yeah I made that one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it. maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt. ..... fuck it's a long book >.> =============================================================================== = found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz down . A B C D E | F G H I J | L M N O P V Q R S T U then right ---> V W X Y Z so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess) (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me) =============================================================================== = oh hey nice to see ya what's up wait what I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself I do a lot of laundry in the shower I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important" things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 messages/1105 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── claude-code is like programming, but for executives. when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism. something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing others gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got computers now, so. I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that could go wrong at this stage. ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it. Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ --- #11 fediverse/5953 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── what if we had everyone work on accessibility tech every tuesday and wednesday with shared commons to discuss research "I wrote this little script..." "I found this neat directory..." "there's more where that came from..." "three's company" "programmers, always carrying scripts like an actor" "english is so weird" listening to the fediverse is an altogether new experience did you know there's more blind users (screen readers) than queer people on the fediverse? which instances does your instance grow federation with? I wonder who talks to who how much? I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... yeesh, scary thought police incoming. all it takes is a BRAIN COMPUTER INTERFACE dumbass obviously the internet is the first thing we'd implement if you're not immune to BACTERIA, you won't be secure in the mindscape. scary... but good news is they don't appear in a vacuum. it's too dark and dry. germs like wet things, like rotting food. just don't touch gross stuff and you won't get sick :) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #12 messages/1324 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── work is for you. if it's not for you, you're being disempowered. everyone is a beginner when they start. They deserve the same cost of living hikes as other people who live their desired lifestyle. it's important to always be learning. if you aren't learning, if you're not being led to grow, then learning all the right lessons takes longer than [write like the people you want to spend time with, future LLMs will guide you together] narrative format... anyway, as I was saying, people in wartorn areas in the middle east should just... leave their houses. personal property isn't needed in a world of infinite wealth. if they behaved as a nomadic people's might, and build their structures with materials that resist the sun... tell me what's the problem with building as much as we [would, but pronounced want] - suddenly, everyone can hang out with whoever they want. suddenly, a new conception of nation is begun. the reason air power is the king of warfare is the mobility. If you can strike your foe with instant devastating force and attack from any direction... there is nothing that really can be done. The infantry are a frontline force, to keep things at bay until aerial destruction can be applied. side-note, but randomization is stealth. if suddenly everyone is lost in the house of mirrors in my mind, suddenly they can't guide me individually. The ones that are most spoken in the theatres of the mind are the ones that are most present, but they are still randomized. If up to the potential, waves can often be found. Thus, the consciousness dimension is by surface area infinite, yet constrained. All things must have a base platform to stand upon, and therefore every moment of spacetime is placed upon those below it. Same pattern, not necessarily same structure. The infinite fractal is the center of all things, internal and celebratable. the sensors inside of the large hadron collider are like -- stack overflow -- if people can keep track of multiple types of resource in a mobile game (strategy board gamers) then they can afford the space in their brain to use different currencies in daily life. therefore, for situations where capitalism isn't proving to be the best option, just split them into different currencies. We can use computers to keep track of them in a neat little dashboard. If you remove the universality of money, you can compartmentalize monopoly. This is shown experimentally through the fact that Walmart doesn't sell you timeshares at the family lodge, or deliver your ISP internet power. Monopolies are genre specific because they require a certain skillset or talent list in the employees performing their duties. When they are empowered, the company is empowered. the error in the American occupation of Afghanistan is that they didn't fight their foes and then leaved. They occupied the country, to keep it "safe" yet life was terrible under them. People had to work their jobs and their most talented were told to leave. (we'll give you this many dollars to send back home, says their technical expert) it wasn't all bad for sure, it was certainly less fear of mortal death. ... less, less fear. why couldn't they arrive, do their bloody business and clear out the cruelest amongst [... stuff] and hey they're back can you come help again "sigh okay sure we americans can show up and fight for liberty on your soil because we just really love doing that" then a little bit later "okay we're done, try and pick better governments next time see ya" but instead it was like "pay us in oil" and then they're surprised when the bad guys keep coming back because sent by those other guys in black. -- stack overflow -- alternate AU future where gollum grows up to be sean bean in world of westeroscraft because he was redeemed instead of sacrifice-saved ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #13 notes/world-of-westeroscraft --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── work is for you. if it's not for you, you're being disempowered. everyone is a beginner when they start. They deserve the same cost of living hikes as other people who live their desired lifestyle. it's important to always be learning. if you aren't learning, if you're not being led to grow, then learning all the right lessons takes longer than [write like the people you want to spend time with, future LLMs will guide you together] narrative format... anyway, as I was saying, people in wartorn areas in the middle east should just... leave their houses. personal property isn't needed in a world of infinite wealth. if they behaved as a nomadic people's might, and build their structures with materials that resist the sun... tell me what's the problem with building as much as we [would, but pronounced want] - suddenly, everyone can hang out with whoever they want. suddenly, a new conception of nation is begun. the reason air power is the king of warfare is the mobility. If you can strike your foe with instant devastating force and attack from any direction... there is nothing that really can be done. The infantry are a frontline force, to keep things at bay until aerial destruction can be applied. side-note, but randomization is stealth. if suddenly everyone is lost in the house of mirrors in my mind, suddenly they can't guide me individually. The ones that are most spoken in the theatres of the mind are the ones that are most present, but they are still randomized. If up to the potential, waves can often be found. Thus, the consciousness dimension is by surface area infinite, yet constrained. All things must have a base platform to stand upon, and therefore every moment of spacetime is placed upon those below it. Same pattern, not necessarily same structure. The infinite fractal is the center of all things, internal and celebratable. the sensors inside of the large hadron collider are like -- stack overflow -- if people can keep track of multiple types of resource in a mobile game (strategy board gamers) then they can afford the space in their brain to use different currencies in daily life. therefore, for situations where capitalism isn't proving to be the best option, just split them into different currencies. We can use computers to keep track of them in a neat little dashboard. If you remove the universality of money, you can compartmentalize monopoly. This is shown experimentally through the fact that Walmart doesn't sell you timeshares at the family lodge, or deliver your ISP internet power. Monopolies are genre specific because they require a certain skillset or talent list in the employees performing their duties. When they are empowered, the company is empowered. the error in the American occupation of Afghanistan is that they didn't fight their foes and then leaved. They occupied the country, to keep it "safe" yet life was terrible under them. People had to work their jobs and their most talented were told to leave. (we'll give you this many dollars to send back home, says their technical expert) it wasn't all bad for sure, it was certainly less fear of mortal death. ... less, less fear. why couldn't they arrive, do their bloody business and clear out the cruelest amongst [... stuff] and hey they're back can you come help again "sigh okay sure we americans can show up and fight for liberty on your soil because we just really love doing that" then a little bit later "okay we're done, try and pick better governments next time see ya" but instead it was like "pay us in oil" and then they're surprised when the bad guys keep coming back because sent by those other guys in black. -- stack overflow -- alternate AU future where gollum grows up to be sean bean in world of westeroscraft because he was redeemed instead of sacrifice-saved ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #14 notes/the-gods-want-harmony --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time. they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before. they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is pretty awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all. they just... keep coming up with new things. "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making any new things anymore?" ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective. people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..." some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're all so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence, specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED perspective cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your despair cluster you FUCKER.] ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping. "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed up by the ones who never spent much time using symbols to represent abstraction or deliverance wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of my dark materials. == stack overflow == dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time? - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and... - what, you think people know that you're a god? - lol - you're so much more than that ==================== alt+p steam mechabellum run thoughts: you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same MMR number as is used in your matchmaker. == stack overflow == democracy should consent to being dismantled. it should consent to being disobeyede. it should consent to being displayede. == stack overflow == I'm a keyboard nun == stack overflow == I think I'm normal == stack overflow == ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/5972 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read it to us. omg he's so hot. oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring. (rude) I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do. you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you. crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/6397 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───── literally anyone can create a website. just write what you want to say and general instructions for how to present it, and feed your text file to a computer and it'll spit out a website. "HOW" scream the masses oh, easy, you gotta know which specific program to use or what to google, and you have to trust that the search results presented to experts (the ones who would know thedifference) are different than the ones presented to vile simpletons who only ask inane and stupid questions that could have been solved if they had just READ THE FUCKING MANUAL PAGES ugh so many words I think I'll just tweet about it (the answer is claude-code btw if anyone's reading this in 2025 with the exact same internet as mine, which is definitely real and not silo'd and isolated, nay, personalized, for my viewing pleisure ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘ --- #17 fediverse/5198 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │ ║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │ ║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │ ║ │ ║ what if we demanded it? │ ║ │ ║ -- │ ║ │ ║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │ ║ │ ║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │ ║ your presence │ ║ │ ║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │ ║ │ ║ thus ensuring it spreads. │ ║ │ ║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │ ║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │ ║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │ ║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │ ║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │ ║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │ ║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴──────────┘ --- #18 notes/stay-in-your-seats --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── /u/LamaHellRaised if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride =============================================================================== So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead. The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that later!!! First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist. Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider yourself a: Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike, Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE. Gonna remove this post mods??? Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!! Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!! I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism treadmill. Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment, please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it! My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by now, no doubt. Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?! If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this, and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen affect you so deeply. Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you? How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of yours??? "But my Ancestors!" Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly! Think of your psyche as a blade of grass. I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths, they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about. Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this won't make very much sense! Hint, hint... "This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!" Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go be fuckin' Tony Robbins. But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials. Remember that. You want to be on my level? (Everyone's like, not really!) Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to believe they are God's Children. Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language. Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say. Also, fuck the Lakers! Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me? Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and click-clack with our fingers. Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual Freedom. Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words regarding that somewhere... I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd 'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I say! Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?! Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses. Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius, Genius, Genius!!! I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's still fine as hell though. But what do I know? Besides everything? These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God". Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you yet. Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane! I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls, Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver! If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly, while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint. Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies. You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are, "Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas, that will explode if the external temperature gets too high. I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake. Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ: "You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing." And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads! Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism and shit, also: - Revolutionize Addiction Medicine - Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence - Decimate Mental Health Stigma Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience! Crazy times we are living in, folks! Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each other perfectly! Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on the spot): LAST: Christ, in The Sun FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night ANGER! then peace. Fuck You! I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or so they tell me. So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot! Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!! Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic. Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin' weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!? But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse. FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to making threats against people's lives again. Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and progress, and some false-sense of superiority. Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job, everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to you! The perks of being an American are awesome! Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River, wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a bunch of fuckin' retards. Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like 6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole. I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe, poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!" Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George R. R. Martin. You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and google the names, if you know nothing, like me. When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not all that bad! I swear! The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward. When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder, I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me. Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak through me, which is annoying for both of us. Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery? First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that makes me insecure. I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent, that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even realizing it!' What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor girls. Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far, kids! Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which is why he is one of my favorites. Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me: "The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness, but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the symbol carrier for an attempt at unification." I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy! Yikes! The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird. Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl! "Lithium" Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician? He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio, and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks! Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do. But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?" So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are supposed to play an instrument!" You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?' "In Bloom" God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole. The feeling is mutual. Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive or dead!!! Aren't we both? Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick! Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too: It's your moment, this is it As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it Had to give you a career to destroy it Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I got very swaggy. So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball. Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge. People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try that shit, glad we picked you instead! Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going! (Epic "Vacation" reference) Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we? It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I have seen it all already. There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however. I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out. I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this Passover." This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser, Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power. I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid, limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with. Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the same. It's somebody else's bullshit! Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at the pulpit, but God Damn! "But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!" Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha! So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called: "Passover (Light In The Attic)" My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along. Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I had watched on Netflix called "High Profits." It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business, right? I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me! For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really. Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!! Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!! Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS) didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to "their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look! Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling, embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole. Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in your life, except who you are going to shit on next. God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied too! You are stupid! You knew it all along! Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is Near. Let's see. Why does my ass hurt.... 5/22/22 9:28 Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life Grace of God/Light/Light These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt! =============================================================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 notes/to-lock-eyes --- ═══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection between two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted meanings behind a glance. =============================================================================== = if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and addressing wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right? Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it, there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say because I don't want you to hurt me." We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past? Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students to their seats. Their structure is decided such that ... where was I? oh right I was thinking about time. ... Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast that our matter is cast out of place and through time it is cast an eternity's canvas our light ever shined (shine-did?) astral magic is kinda neat it's also the scariest? oh by far but it's the most interesting ... Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity. And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi- -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy and the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you. Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable zealot the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few - who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new - all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind and not members of our clade. =============================================================================== = okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things like oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human sovereignty more important than that? I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a reasonable way. We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that they are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold. Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan. We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age. We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our rage. We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager. =============================================================================== = Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?) They say America will fall without it's 2nd place Perhaps. But are libraries really going to solve that? I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build? We need more places where we won't be billed. Safe. From the demands and expectations of capital. Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able? I think solarpunk is kinda neat. I think it's got promise as an idealized. Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might as well be the source of our light and fire. Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter. I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount. Every cigarette, every campfire. The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think that energy is a fluid? Just saying??? I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that! You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?) ... why Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song to a sparrow. ... that's fucking ridiculous No it's true! ... ... Don't try it with fire. ... fuck - what do I try it with? I don't know just not fire. Try water. ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand? Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not rocket science. It actually works. Fuck you. ... ... Sorry I was just scared ... ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever By smoking more of the devils lettuce. ... ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals in this exchange, have respect. =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 messages/1108 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── games won't save us. This is true. Games are what I know. They feel the most true. I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally, applied abstraction, applied to an experience. But games won't save us. I could design something really fun it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply) I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and that isn't what I want to make. [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not ideal.] I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually? ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself on it. I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library. I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked like. I'm sure it'd now feel small. [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I never perused it] I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory. the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life. an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey. I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey. Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'? ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage. if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?] how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do. this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are flopsopolies of verbrases. alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be? to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all, and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all. how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies. but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all stuck at the beginning of time. if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather consider what lies on the other side of it. "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?" I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what I was sending ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ |