=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and
ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs.
but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to
restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism
so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives.
"the purpose of the system is it's effects"
the purpose of a person is how they make people feel
so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts
other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a
dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and
HOURS like this guy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc
or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush,
over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it
outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you
wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds"
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/735 ---
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I'd ask why of course, and then I'd try and find them a solution that didn't
involve taking my stuff. They may need it more than me, but I still need it.
Like... okay picture that feeling you get when in a capitalist society and you
need dollars to live because they are a genericized and fractalized
abstraction of all the various individual mazlowe's hierarchy of needs you
have. Then, think of it like, instead of money being an abstracted form of all
of your needs, think of your needs... each of them, the ones that matter to
you, and abstract them into money. Basically say "yeah sure my time and my
labor are worth dollars, I abstract my needs into money" and then you can
kinda see why capitalism is harmful. I'd prefer to give them what they need,
because society provides what I please, but alas I'm always kept wanting. What
good is our capitalist utopia? what good is our hope? what good comes of us
when all of us have learned how to cope?
I think we could give a bit more if we weren't hanging from the rope
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--- #2 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #3 fediverse/1568 ---
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║ people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than │
║ institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a │
║ solid structure is required. │
║ │
║ but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can │
║ dance as whoever they're on. like, performers, who play different roles. │
║ different characters in video games they play, or perhaps their own expressed │
║ forms. in any case, we are all learning our way through each moment, which is │
║ why thinking is always our norm. │
║ │
║ it feels good to use your body. like, "hey check out me, I am performing" and │
║ then at the end you think to yourself "I appreciated that. it was fun. I liked │
║ being myself at my utmost of performed." and people call it DPT or "Deranged │
║ Person Tisorder" which... yeah is not a flattering nickname. but hey a │
║ nickname is a nickname, which is also a nick name hmmmmm │
║ │
║ people are pretty quick to forget people they didn't see on facebook. like, │
║ high school classes kinda move on, usually, except closest of fr │
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--- #4 fediverse/5205 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping │
║ wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I │
║ have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company, │
║ and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about. │
║ │
║ I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?" │
║ │
║ their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why │
║ should you care? fuck 'em" │
║ │
║ It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it │
║ cooler, not kinder. generally. │
║ │
║ bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions │
║ WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless, │
║ serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and │
║ get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a │
║ built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when │
║ the powerful overstep their humanity. │
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--- #5 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #6 fediverse/488 ---
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║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
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--- #7 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #8 fediverse/3370 ---
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I know it's not like that but I'm intentionally framing it that way to make a
point about societal exclusion.
nobody should be excluded.
nobody should have to harm their friends to come by making them sacrifice
their [time/labor/paycheck] in order to bring them along.
we live in a post scarcity society that insists on commodification of
everything
we don't have to. A better world is within reach. It sits there, twinkling
like asbestos resting at the base of a snowglobe, while we search and ponder
and endlessly analyze how society sucks.
there is nothing left to analyze. all that we need is to put our hands to a
task and our feet to grass.
the rest will come, and it'll come easier with time and focused attention.
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--- #9 messages/650 ---
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I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
"you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right.
I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\*
had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that
people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several
reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism
and delusion.
So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't
update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
hopefully more useful.
It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people
more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the
homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes
and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing
on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep
posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it
while I was active.
If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been
making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich
though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate
on the soot.
Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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--- #10 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #11 fediverse/5835 ---
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next-level double-speak:
when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
or they want to entrap you.
next-level para-noia:
when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
through your veings sustains.
RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
HOW is it so stressful
HOW is there so much pain
I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
"only if it's for a good cause"
oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #12 fediverse/5730 ---
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part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
"workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
the rich, yet impoverished.
the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
goals and designs.
if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
everything is logically rooted in love,
nothing's out of place or a mystery.
everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
"that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
inside of a bed
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--- #13 fediverse/1569 ---
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people don't like relying on others. it somehow feels more... personal, than
institutional. and some people just wanna focus on themselves. hence why a
solid structure is required.
but oh dang on the other end there's these more fluid individuals, who can
dance as whoever they're on.
in doing so, they are the opposite of those who crave structure. They're maybe
considered a bit more chaotic, but, like, chaotic as a rainstorm, not chaotic
as a flood.
so they are not fundamentally bad, which means they are good. because all
things that are not bad, are necessarily good. life is defined by averages,
and the painful spikes of our sharpest intentions. yet this [crucible/crusade]
is not our ultimate expression, for once it's done it's done. as such, trauma,
but alas what can you do but move on. time, in the past, reaches out for the
present, yet so too does a man reach out for an apple, from a tree, which
rests on his hand for a moment.
how beautiful, how strange, this life we've all arranged? It's beautifu
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--- #14 fediverse/4610 ---
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maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
don't care.
seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
"cooperation and competition"?
work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
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--- #15 fediverse/4762 ---
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is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
era where that's the way to go about it.
But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
... what
... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
goes in computation.
... makes sense to me...
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--- #16 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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--- #17 fediverse/5486 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #18 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #19 fediverse/2050 ---
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║ @user-1074 │
║ │
║ I think a lot of liberals feel that way. How does the conservative half of the │
║ equally respectable binary spectrum feel about the situation? │
║ │
║ ... Oh? what's that? you can't hear the moderate conservative spectrum of the │
║ equation? Kinda makes me think that perhaps that's by design │
║ │
║ ... or maybe not, perhaps by... evolution, rather than design. Like, two │
║ corporations don't have to collaborate in order to invent price fixing. And │
║ two lawyers could wink from across the aisle and nobody would know. Perhaps a │
║ doctor could just "make something up" so that their patient would leave, and │
║ maybe a teacher would non-stop cry about her ex. │
║ │
║ ... we're imperfect beings, which is fine. But mistakes have real consequences │
║ on other people's story, and if we have a different experience we should be │
║ learned and considered. In order to identify the positives and valuable │
║ impacts of your particular imperfections. │
║ │
║ ... I think about male and female, and I think of both halves of our │
║ civilization. Similar relationshi │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #20 fediverse/852 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #21 fediverse/6116 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
║ "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also │
║ ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's │
║ capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without │
║ providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into │
║ greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks." │
║ │
║ oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that? │
║ │
║ "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will │
║ want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they │
║ don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is │
║ personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then │
║ why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be │
║ sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want │
║ to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses │
║ meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice" │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #22 fediverse/3981 ---
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"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #23 fediverse/3986 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
"oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
"do you mean marketing?"
"yeah that"
"they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
normalize things about culture."
"like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
"just like that"
[like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
than humans]
[it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
we only know which one cats like more"
like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
place in a month
"yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
life? It's just showbiznez"
"this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #24 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #25 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
└─────────────────────────┘
"your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
also,
"my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
said so."
also,
"I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
also,
"yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
also,
"every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
conversation I can't win"
also,
sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #26 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #27 notes/i-miss-you ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #28 fediverse/4672 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics! │
└──────────────────────┘
I miss video games
cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
but you're worth it
imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
chains, just so I can play games again
yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
"at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
yourself to fate's design
I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
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--- #29 messages/1192 ---
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Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
people who read it.
Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
will built to escape?
... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
i also have waited for a while.
"patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
"hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
believe as you do.
Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #30 fediverse/3444 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #31 fediverse/3314 ---
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dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #32 fediverse/1083 ---
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it doesn't really matter how you do it, but the more time you spend thinking
collectively the better you'll be able to adapt when necessary.
I grew up on a homestead in a small town without many friends. I was
homeschooled, and while I might see another person I knew once or twice a
month, that was about it.
Besides my family, of course.
We were a collective, and ever since leaving I have yearned for that feeling
of closeness.
There's something about modern society that pushes us apart, and I resent it.
Humans were meant for tribes, not multilevel marketing.
That being said, culture is pretty neat. Society is pretty neat, when it's not
being oppressive. I like the idea that I can buy carrots at the store instead
of growing my own. I like the idea that I can post on Craigslist asking if
anyone has a shovel they want to get rid of and someone can say "what the fuck
are you trying to bury someone why would you do that" and I'm all like "wait
no this post has gone off track can we refocus for a bit" and th
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--- #33 fediverse/1317 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #34 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #35 fediverse/5198 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #36 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
===============================================================================
=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
===============================================================================
=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #37 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
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you are a system
it's true
that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
all that
== so ==
the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
I don't want to say it twice so recently]
dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
form
this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
ujgh.
<ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
you to our
new way of functioning.
.:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
world!
{so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
}
[-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
host
did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
- host?||=.;=|------------e
\.`\....
\,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
|
]
... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
over
our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
*fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
DUMBASS
jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
of
our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
OBVIOUSLY!
NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
...
jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
hate
it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
existential threats.
not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
[that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
bunch
of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
then
I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
middle-c
-lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
for
*******************************************************************************
*
um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
what does that even MEAN?
who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how so youfj dsust sorta MADE
IT
UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
beelesandster
ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
like
um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
NO. Not until we figure this one out.
gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
build and support on our arms.
down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
that could act as structures for our word choices,
and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
"hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
some
-one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
stuff
!! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #38 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #40 fediverse/709 ---
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║ @user-530 │
║ │
║ I get it. │
║ │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard. │
║ │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles... │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me. │
║ │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry. │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I │
║ have at my disposal. │
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--- #41 fediverse/1126 ---
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│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
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@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #42 fediverse/967 ---
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║ the reason I say that is because if you block someone, they can continue to │
║ alter the dynamic of the environment you're in even if you don't personally │
║ see them. │
║ │
║ this is fine if you want to maximize ad views, but on the fediverse nobody │
║ cares about buying products. │
║ │
║ this is fine if you want to maximize engagement, because new people (who │
║ havent yet gotten upset with the person) will engage and fight them. As they │
║ should. But eventually, if the person's a troll or a goon, they'll get tired │
║ of it and block them too. Thus the goon never has to face more than a few at a │
║ time, especially if there's quite a few trolls on board with their target. │
║ │
║ this is fine if you don't mind the water slowly acidifying, like the fish who │
║ have no choice because they don't know how to grow legs and walk like real │
║ animals (what a bunch of scrubs) │
║ │
║ some people don't want to invest time in figuring out where to go next. How │
║ many people will hear of Mastodon when Twitter is fully vacated of cool people? │
║ │
║ Tell your friends IRL about us │
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--- #43 fediverse/4073 ---
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post until you can't anymore
capitalism wants to drown your voice
do not let it
speak until you cannot speak
then go do some pushups
then find some friends
then pitch a tent in the park
then explain to the cops that you're not actually homeless and living there
you're just trying to do this as a social statement because someone on the
internet told you to
then use your phone call to call your representative and complain about how
much funding the police get
then study law for 30 years because that's how long the government decided
your life was worth
by then you'll probably have figured out a better plan moving forward, so, use
that one instead
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--- #44 fediverse/1066 ---
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that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
hope that someone will read this.
obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #45 notes/letter-of-affection ---
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You are the most beautiful thing I can imagine.
To see you is to know you, but to talk is to...
Communication is the essence of connection
A dream we create for ourselves
While we are constrained by false limitation
a message is able to be felt.
But how to convey such a thought pattern as that?
A meaning beyond any established protocols?
Art is the solution, and poems are their charms
Music is quite liberating and knitting is fun,
songs sung in great exhultation and
warriors who just like to play along
crafts are the method of healing your
wounded and worn soul,
and hey, now, what's prison but torture?
Why punish people who've maken mistakes?
They improve, when, taught to express themselves
So why, hurt, their family who had taken no part?
And why, can I, continue to fuck up and never be hurt?
What purpose is there in criminalizing our growth?
It's not, fair, that I should be fair
When I'd, want, to have her short hair.
Tell me what's, wrong, with being along?
No friends, to, have and hold onto
communication is the essence of our unification
Without cooperation, we are a failed nation.
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #48 fediverse/1904 ---
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@user-246
Oh absolutely
"but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
contrast or opposition to them.
There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
furries in the audience)
A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
with the most to keep the most.
Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
your teeth, ye who readeth?
Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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I went to a trans meetup a couple days ago. It was invigorating. The first
half we talked about hormones and bathrooms and politics and all the normal
shit these meetups tend to do. I don't tend to go to them because it's the
same stuff every time, and I'm over that. I've been out for a decade. I've
shared what I need to share.
Partway through I said "If you want to talk about how to bash back, meet me
outside."
people came.
Be like me.
You will forever vanquish your demons if you face them in earnest. I had
stagefright and adrenaline but I took the lead, and we had a productive
conversation. We need to have many more conversations.
We have strategy. It is not set in stone, it is flexible, and able to be
adjusted based on tactical successes and failures.
tactics are what we need to discuss at in-person meetings.
You are just one person. The people you know are more valuable than the value
you personally provide.
Think of yourself like a node to connect.
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--- #50 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
that
is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
problems,
not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like,
the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
programming.
I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
time
as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something
worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being
able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
optimized us to be
================ stack overflow
================================================
srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
I
was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
Only
what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
if,
in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
from
the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
standards
that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
Not
villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
cherish in our hearts.
Like for example, the constitution.
the bible.
each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
trajectory?
the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
speak
of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
and discover and \ \ |
\______. ---. --. ---.
===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
=====
.___________. _____. / .
| / .---------------- /
Discover our shared dedication | /
to uplift /
and to excel /
\ /
.-----------.
===============================================================================
=
why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
===============================================================================
=
omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
===============================================================================
=
if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
@both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
that are good for both sides!
And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
like
trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
pain
inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
can I have some help please?
I'm really kinda drowning
I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
and I'm really just sick of pretending?
I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
What else can I do?
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--- #51 notes/schooling ---
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=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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@user-398
That's fair, you have to seek him out at this point I think. Sorry again for
being so combative I don't actually feel that strongly about it, I just like
being silly.
https://youtu.be/EorJ8cEzsZo?si=DEQ_NejDYfvSuvfO
EDIT: Here's a better example I think:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBKgPmS5Fyw
Here's an example of a modern incarnation that might be easier to view than
the older stuff.
His personality is silly, earnest, genuine, expressive, and friendly. Most of
the comedy of his stories come from interactions with the environment and the
creative solutions used to accomplish goals and tasks.
I like to view his perspective as 100% valid and reflective of the world he
inhabits, which essentially grants him (and others around him) reality warping
powers which I think is more interesting than just dismissing it as a silly
cartoon. Through that lens each situation he encounters is an exercise in
rapid creativity and weaponized logic, which is kinda cool to a witch like me.
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--- #53 fediverse/6093 ---
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└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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│ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
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when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #55 fediverse/4604 ---
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@user-246
collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
fracture it, but oh well??
I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
we?
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│ CW: mh~ │
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wait wait wait, hold up.
you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
whatever it may be.
... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
vast for their own kind of potential.
which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #57 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #58 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #59 notes/dystopian-mental-health ---
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Mental illnesses are technically the result of neurochemistry, but what people
tend to forget that our experiences and our lifestyle affect neurochemistry in
a major way. You see this most clearly in trauma-related disorders (such as
PTSD and C-PTSD), because those can occur in previously perfectly healthy
individuals and fundamentally change the way those individuals process
information, store memories and react to stimuli.
And living under late stage capitalism is fucking traumatic.
War and terrorism are traumatic. Colonialism is traumatic. Being poor is
traumatic. Financial crises are traumatic. The 24 hour news cycle is
traumatic. Abusive/dangerous work environments are traumatic. Police brutality
is traumatic. A lot of online content is traumatic. Cyberbullying is
traumatic. Being a minority that's the target of yet another culture war is
traumatic. Climate change and environmental destruction are traumatic. Most
countries' education systems are traumatic. Having your privacy invaded and
your personal information stolen is traumatic.
And that's not even getting into the damage that being overworked and
constantly stressed out does to your brain. Or the pollutants we're exposed to
every single day. Or the shitty food we eat. Or the fact that many of us
rarely get fresh air and sunlight. Or being unable to have friends and a
family, or spend time with those that we have. Or having to live in gray
concrete hells overrun with suffering people, right next to displays of
outrageous wealth. Or being too poor, too worn out and/or too busy to pursue
our artistic and intellectual interests. Or being constantly bombarded with
messages that systematically chip away at our self-esteem to get us to buy
more products.
The worst thing is that we can't get away from any of that because meaningful
political participation is completely impossible for all but a lucky few, and
most of us are too tired or too sick to do anything anyway. Or we've been
brainwashed into thinking that collective action (no matter decentralized) is
somehow authoritarian and that rugged individualism is the only way to pull
yourself up by your bootstraps.
Treating the nightmare we live in with antidepressants is like treating a
gaping, bleeding wound with painkillers.
- /u/bigbutchbudgie
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║ Our ancestors look forward in [positive version of trepidation, like │
║ anticipation but explicitly good] so let's not let them down, shall we? │
║ │
║ Hah, trick question. They know where we're going. They know what they worked │
║ for, which is why they did what they did to build the world that we have which │
║ we stand upon as a giant might be upon the shoulder of another and together we │
║ reach toward the horizon. The future is bright! I know it in my heart. I know │
║ what we seek is within sight, so- │
║ │
║ yeah sorry to interrupt but like, I don't want to go to work tomorrow because │
║ all I do is sell people candy and beer at the convenience store down the │
║ street [insert any "meaningless" job] and frankly it's just a little demeaning │
║ and boring │
║ │
║ sure, okay, yeah, that speaks to the idea that we should replace capitalism │
║ (the system that defines your employed existence) with something that aligns │
║ more toward human dignity │
║ │
║ but what is dignified if not the capacity to succeed? Capitalism, as proposed │
║ by it's favored, is a system of or │
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-vaguely-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ apparently if you don't have a job, you don't get a home. what if I don't want │
║ a job? do I not want a home? clearly I want a home, and clearly I don't want a │
║ job. I'd work one if one came to me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my blood on │
║ the altar of Moloch just so I can have a place to stay. │
║ │
║ if you don't want a job, but you DO want a home, then there's a contradiction │
║ in the function of the system and the needs of it's end-users. │
║ │
║ unless of course, the system is not designed for it's end-users? In this case, │
║ tenants. Who then would it be designed for? Who else is part of the equation? │
║ │
║ well, perhaps it's designed to maximize profit and shareholder value yaddah │
║ yaddah all that jazz. Who can say. Surely not I. But someone might. │
║ │
║ If so, then why are we, who are not shareholders of profit value, still │
║ playing the game that's not designed for us or by us? Isn't this country "of │
║ the people, for the people, and by the people"? What does that mean to you? │
║ │
║ I think it means houses for people. │
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--- #62 fediverse/4185 ---
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so weird how "you" in your words becomes "whichever social media platform
you're currently typing into" when you post a lot (like, all the time)
it's like this semi-para-social relationship thing. is there a different kind
of "para" that means, like... in relation to the means of communication rather
than the person on the other end?
maybe like... "meta", meaning discussing the topic of discussing the topic. In
this case of course it'd be... discussing the medium upon which the discussion
is taking place.
but it's not really about the medium, is it? It's anthropomorphizing the
medium, giving it a face, or at least a persona of some kind, and speaking
directly to it.
(of course, "it" means "all the people who follow you and who are cursed to
wander upon you in the local feed)
so... athro-meta-socializing mastodon means that you toot about whatever, but
directed toward the entity that you know and are talking to: "mastodon", which
to you is something completely different than it is to everyone else. huh~
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--- #63 fediverse/5424 ---
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│ CW: doxxing-myself │
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my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #64 fediverse/2654 ---
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I'm not bitter, you're bitter. >.>
... okay, take a breath, you're fine. It's hard to handle negative feelings
when you're alone because other people can't boost you up. We rely on each
other for emotional stability, but when you're alone you can only feel your
emotions at the same rate as your thoughts. And your thoughts need to process
the events you're experiencing, using emotion as an "encoding" for preserving
the "meaning" of your life's story. Bit by bit you learn new things, while
living through life, and the lessons you learn from them are generated from
the cognitive conclusions reached by cognitively interpreting emotional
reactions to each moment. like "this-or-that thing happened and I feel
that-or-this way, meaning I should act such-and-such way in the future when
presented with situations that bear similarity to this current one that's
ongoing."
... turn it upside down, right, makes sense mastodon feed. thanks for
redirecting me in a different direction through your pseudo-randomized input.
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--- #65 fediverse/4544 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
to cover rent, and nothing else.
It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this
happens to me I start feeling things
like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
literally a measure of value.
But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value
them, so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits
in a mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and
127$ internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
I still feel terrible.
It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
yourself fast.
Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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--- #66 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
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@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #67 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #68 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #69 fediverse/5954 ---
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oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
growing their own way.
spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #70 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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--- #71 fediverse/1082 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
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damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #72 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #73 fediverse/3532 ---
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@user-1218
shallow conversations are hardly effective, I find. Unless they're logistical,
and then they're just passing information - they're hardly conversational.
To me, a conversation is a back-and-forth. It needs to have change, people
need to consider, to argue their ideas, to wander through thoughts, to share
emotions, and / or to resolve conflict, whether internal or external. It can
have some of those, all of those, or none of those, but that's what comes to
my mind.
So a shallow conversation wouldn't really count as "effective" for the
purposes of the original toot : )
... hehe toot
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@user-113 I feel like that's only true if you rely on your work for survival.
Most people do in a capitalist system, so you're not wrong, but it doesn't
HAVE to be that way. People could do what they love because they loved it IF
and ONLY IF they wouldn't starve by pursuing it. Or by neglecting it. Most
people love to do more than one thing, of course, so if you punish people for
being diverse then you'll find a culture where people only do the bare minimum
to get by. Which, coincidentally, is what we have now. Which, fortuitously, is
not the most efficient way of production. If humanity had lived to it's
potential from the start we would have burned through our wood stocks, our
coal, our minerals and all of it would be rot. But we didn't. These crude
inefficiencies have brought us here, to an era where we have the choice to be
more resourceful. I just hope we figure it out sooner rather than later.
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--- #75 fediverse/2806 ---
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #76 fediverse/2993 ---
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hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
(who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
be.
you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
to it.
and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
who and what they are"
that's privilege, and that's stupid.
okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
when resources are limited
but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
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--- #77 fediverse/1950 ---
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I honestly don't care if someone deadnames me, or calls me the wrong pronouns,
or forgets to put me in the girl section, or asks me to sing baritone
like... I don't give a shit, why are you so worried about all this vapid
nonsense like yeah I get it, being disrespected sucks but like... why do you
want the kind of respect that is a forced platitude
we could all do with being a bit more radical, it's not a race and everyone's
roles are important. Be yourself, and follow people you want to be like.
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--- #78 fediverse/3519 ---
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@user-570
hm... the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I want those
things too. I'd be best suited to them, I think. But somehow I don't want
them? I don't crave power. I don't want to dominate someone else, to command
and see them follow me.
I want to be the person who's like "oh, you're working on this-and-that? I
know a guy who can help." or "hey I noticed we have a vulnerability in this
particular domain under these conditions, I think we should allocate
this-or-that resource to ameliorate it because they aren't being used to their
full potential"
I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I empathize a lot. I'm afraid
of responsibility, sure, but who isn't? However, the responsibility has to be
held by someone, and who better than the one making the decisions...
I don't want to make decisions because it feels good. Honestly it feels kinda
bad.
I do want to make decisions because I'm good at it. I think strategically.
A leader alone is prey for the wolves, so they say...
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--- #79 fediverse/627 ---
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║ and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home? │
║ wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've │
║ gotta be addressed as such. │
║ │
║ right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore, │
║ I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all │
║ imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is │
║ actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever │
║ travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as │
║ the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards │
║ into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to │
║ add? │
║ │
║ oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will │
║ that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality │
║ from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with │
║ day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #80 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
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This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
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+---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022 |
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+---- /r/Psychonaut |
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+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
trying to exert power over other people.
I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
“ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
xviii: Manners (1784)
These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
serve us and things that don’t.
I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
enjoyable place.
I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
primitive.
Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
applied in my day to day life.
I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
trying to control the exchange of value.
I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
of doing now.
I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
is, in its current form is incorrect.
Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
make someone valuable.
In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
our eyes.
I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
calls them insane.
Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
That’s usually how culture works.
Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
“Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
the funniest societal collapses of all time.
I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
do horrific things to other human beings.
These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
we can really do anything.
When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
what we want to become.
I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
relationships and joy.
I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
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--- #81 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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only some people feel existential [peril/fear] at the concept of a trump
presidency.
I'm trans, I feel it so hard I considered sedition.
it felt like a reasonable reaction. probably just means I've been calibrated
to a certain level of revengeance through my knowledge of history and the arts.
I learned so much about systems, I saw the inextricable truth of the merits of
the design of capitolistic [shared societal conventions, but pronounced
"conventions"]. I also learned of what it means to wield ideology as a weapon
for mass power/cultural gains.
I see now that no matter the merits or faults of any system, power accretes in
the unworthy. They say this is because others they work with just don't want
to deal with them anymore. This isn't always true, in-fact with stronger bonds
the relationship is more secure [also true, but I said it earlier in the
sentence].
jeez, interrupt much?
anyway, as I was saying, [wasting characters]
okIlikewritngmastodonpostsitsagame2aimforzerocharactersrem
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@user-353 @user-741
human brains tend to start ignoring signals when they become normalized. Like,
if you are consistently exposed to the same smell you get used to it, and you
stop smelling it. same for noises, and other signals.
it's the same with information, I think, which is why doomscrolling is so bad
for our brains - we go numb and desensitized! It's not good to have all that
bad news all the time.
I bet people believe in the "just world hypothesis" for the same reason.
Essentially, optimizing for equilibrium in all things.
I personally believe true justice is when everyone gets what they want. And if
someone wants that the other person doesn't get what they want, then they
don't want true justice. Like, for example, hateful people can never be
justified because they want another's life to be worse. or they want someone
to be wrong, which creates a contradiction - you can't give both people what
they want if one person wants the other to lose.
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--- #84 fediverse/640 ---
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║ socialism doesn't necessarily look like the DSA. It's more like, the bonds you │
║ share with others. Ideally you can trust your fellow countrymen, but that's │
║ not always a given. Alas, if only we could see that through cooperation (it is │
║ the key) we could reach further and build brighter? casting ourselves inward │
║ is the only other option, which leads to starvation and plight. What's the │
║ honest opinion, what's the goal of their dominion? Are they true to the heart │
║ [of the night/light/in their heart]? │
║ │
║ downside, there's no guarantee that your opposite is doing the same thing you │
║ are. So to more fairly determine your direction, you should be able to talk to │
║ them and co-re-align yourselves. │
║ │
║ is that why they don't let people in jail talk to each other? I mean, like, │
║ they could keep two people separate, and that way they'd never be able to talk │
║ to someone who they could trust. Not in a private setting, of course. Wow, │
║ such ethical confusions, such thoughts we dare to bring to bear - maybe save │
║ it for after the revolut │
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--- #85 fediverse/4771 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
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@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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--- #86 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #87 messages/388 ---
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Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
can't fight because I'm a coward.
Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
stupid.
Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
perspire.
And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
at the only things I'm good at.
I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
day.
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--- #88 fediverse/4566 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
time wasting jobs.
modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
without the oppression. Without the coercion.
all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
I personally want communes + love
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--- #89 fediverse/4500 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud │
║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's │
║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and │
║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take │
║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper │
║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep │
║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up │
║ to be an incel or whatever │
║ │
║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda │
║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared │
║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the │
║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why │
║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important │
║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave │
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--- #90 fediverse/5660 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my enemy is not "the rich" │
║ │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to │
║ gather power that may be just as evil. │
║ │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend. │
║ │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused. │
║ │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil. │
║ │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed. │
║ │
║ most things go WAY over my head. │
║ │
║ most things are too easy to be true. │
║ │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape. │
║ │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it? │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in │
║ defence of another. │
║ │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too. │
║ │
║ bannermen fall. │
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--- #91 messages/519 ---
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I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
institution that commands great respect.
However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
Capitalism compels it.
Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
life is not impactful. I am not special.
Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
... I can do better than profane.
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--- #92 fediverse/430 ---
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║ I exist at the behest of others. If you care about what I say, then surely you │
║ should be aware of my conditions? │
║ │
║ You exist at the behest of others. If you care about your capability to speak, │
║ then surely you should be aware of your conditions? │
║ │
║ Your conditions are unique, and unknown by me. Yet I know your condition as a │
║ human, generally considered to exist on the planet Earth in the year 2024. So │
║ surely we should agree to relate on the basis of connections that we share? │
║ │
║ I am luminous. I am you, and you are me. We share the most precious parts of │
║ ourselves, and yet time and again we find ourselves at odds. Surely we should │
║ align our intentions (that which we control) to cooperate most efficiently? │
║ Surely. Surely we should. And yet, time and time again, we find ourselves at │
║ odds. │
║ │
║ I love you. I love all of you. I love those who exist outside of my │
║ perceptions, and yet though they are unknown to me I love them. Because while │
║ I practice radical self acceptance, I also align myself to be comprised of all │
║ of yo │
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--- #93 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #94 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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===============================================================================
=
to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
===============================================================================
=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
===============================================================================
=
okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
===============================================================================
=
Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #95 fediverse/462 ---
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I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
value to shareholders?
How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
and accessible.
how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
the top because that way we'd be able to
============= stack overflow =====
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--- #96 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #97 fediverse/5452 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
once I'm asleep.
But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
up a tent?
I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
mentioned one second.
I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
behalf.
I don't have time for this. >.
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--- #98 fediverse/6085 ---
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║ "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place │
║ of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move, │
║ and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the │
║ non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're │
║ just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we │
║ didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they │
║ likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever" │
║ │
║ [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though │
║ IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out │
║ haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if │
║ we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from │
║ our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no │
║ war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like │
║ dollars are paper and notes are just words. │
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--- #99 fediverse/5136 ---
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not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
matter.
but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
style of alec baldwin]
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--- #100 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
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american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
against the machinations of the machine?
leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
alienation
"would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
"I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
"but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
"oh yeah? you and what army?"
--
the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
"landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
vavadane
vavadane
vavadane
"any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
we always did and we always will.
always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
material
resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
I wonder if I can type in her language?
I can speak in my mind and try to type it
we'll see what happens:
wawawawa
guess she has nothing to say. okay.
the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
unique and precious selves.
humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
"No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
of the mountains."
please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
"she's literally trying to summon demons"
yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
more
adept for our biomes.
HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
which
is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
are direct out of despair.
A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
--
SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
--
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--- #101 fediverse/5257 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
to you.
gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
--
who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
--
what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #102 fediverse/3848 ---
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│ CW: politics-cursing-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────┘
people? oh yeah I know "people". they're all a bunch of bastards.
good, bastards are the best fighters
not if your fight relies on fighting for something you believe in. There's a
zero percent chance that you'll get everyone to believe the same thing because
people naturally gravitate toward filling the idea space equally and finding
niches to fit themselves into
ha true - thinking of successful revolutions of the past, they've always been
caused by material conditions creating insufficiencies that must be resolved
through violence. and then, the people fighting can all agree on something
like "we must have bread" or... actually that's pretty much the main thing
people need
and yeah, sure, wealth inequality is unjust, but they're careful to only take
enough to ensure that we're sufficiently placated.
but they're always taking more, and someday soon they'll take too much.
... I hope, for my sake, that I'm not around when that happens. But I'm not
too hopeful in that regard
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--- #103 fediverse/419 ---
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║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
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--- #104 fediverse/4034 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: bep │
└──────────────────────┘
Mastodon feels so personal but, like, nobody's gonna invite you to a new
instance. You gotta go where you think you'll fit in.
change your name! get a new profile pic! make 10 accounts! who cares! nobody
cares, and that's a good thing! It means you can be whoever you want! wherever
you want! in whatever place you want! Do you have a catgirl persona? great! go
mewl with the catgirls and wink at the catboys. Do you have an artistic side?
great! Mastodon is your new gallery. Do you like politics? there's places out
there for you! Where you don't even need to CW your posts! (But you probably
should so that external people can boost you) Do you want a 500 person large
dating pool for people in an area who want to chill out and have sex? Great
there's a place for you! No place? MAKE THE PLACE! Be your own administrator!
Carve your mark in the world and say "this is who and how I wanted to be in
this 21st century!" History demands it! History demands that we rellish their
sacrifices! Celebrate, for their sake!
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--- #105 fediverse/5056 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politi │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
![unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that"](/similar-different/media/7d61a9770ac4b21a.png "unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction (\"oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like \"oh that's a pokemon hat\" or \"neat they wear diapers too\" or \"I also pronounce it like that\"")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/7cfab439e208e724.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/811253fae94ccfdd.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
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--- #106 messages/319 ---
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Alright ya'll, if they're going to automate our jobs out of existence then
perhaps its time we started doing the same to them. I mean, they're working on
automating not just creative jobs, but also most office jobs as well. Leaving
only menial labor to us, which is "fine" I guess.
But perhaps we can "strike back" as it were and dismantle capitalism at the
same time.
Does that sound like too much to hope for? I think not! It's simple really, we
just need to design a generic and compelling alternative to buying stuff with
a credit card. Okay, it's a bit less simple than that, and I never said it
would be easy. In fact, getting people to agree is the hard part. So can't we
all just agree to attempt different things in different places as the locals
define? Seems natural to me.
And now the part of the post where I point a finger at you, yes you, the
person reading this post. Are you willing to think about alternatives to
capitalism? Are you willing to utilize the tools of our masters to break the
chains of those enslaved? Are you willing to put effort into facilitating the
development of crucial systems which may one day govern our day-to-day?
If yes, then perhaps you'd like to listen as I explain how I envision the near
future may look, as we plod onward day-by-day toward our bright fully
automated luxury gay space communist future, where nobody has to hunger and
nobody has to hurt. Not unless they consent, of course.
Ah, shit, I should probably have prepared a presentation or something. Gimme a
sec.
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--- #107 fediverse/4559 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────┘
"grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel"
or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and,
or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to
better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement
to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just"
or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting
that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu
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--- #108 fediverse/4200 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #109 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #110 fediverse/2857 ---
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│ CW: republicans-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
Republicans like being self-reliant. You know, so I do too! It comes from
living in the country, I think.
the difference is, I measure myself on an abstract scale - like, as a family,
a culture, a society, and finally all of humanity. I want to be reliant on
nothing, not even nature, wholely empowered by my own arts.
they see only the feet before them, the hands they hold the world with.
..
there is honor in their ideals, but they have forgotten who they once were.
social media will do that to ya. especially one of such vitriol.
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listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
only ones to decide things.
I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
the decision-making power.
if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
general flows and rough surfaces.
These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
mostest.
y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
if you only had someone to play catch with.
or like, send letters to.
or shared encryption keys.
I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #113 fediverse/4656 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: psycherwaul │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like │
║ "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self │
║ evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in │
║ a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough │
║ │
║ I guess we're all a little ennuid. │
║ │
║ if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free │
║ those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to │
║ free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear │
║ armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you │
║ absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of │
║ your world. │
║ │
║ who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can │
║ resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect │
║ one to manipulate. │
║ │
║ which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher │
║ around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever. │
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--- #114 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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--- #115 fediverse/770 ---
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@user-192
wow, that sounds like a lot. I guess no matter how humans are organized they
tend to fight a lot... Or maybe interaction breeds drama? It's strange to me
but I'm sure it felt right in the moment. I hope nobody's feelings were too
hurt... Defederation feels like such a permanent thing, like putting someone
on your ignore list in a video game or something. Except, like, blocking a
whole World of Warcraft guild? ? ? so strange.
Did it... help? I mean, do you think people were happier afterwards?
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--- #116 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #117 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #118 notes/homeschooling ---
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the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly
work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
they
can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
but
also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic
formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out
rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
solving
is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the
perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
game
design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I
loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long
time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
C.
I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc...
Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and
practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is
why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
stopped
learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about
performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
(meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were
you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a
project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses
are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
similar
to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English
is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on,
you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
to
the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they
say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when
you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
well
with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
back
to the jungle with the apes?
Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to
see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway?
What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
and
adoration? Was it worth it?
I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about
humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is.
Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
us
to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
glasses
for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits!
Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
a
primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and
millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our
star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
Life
is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
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tertiary profundity update:
I didn't really explain the homeschooling
perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
broken, a slave to what the
day demanded I say. I was
forced to unbutton, all the
ways I found to behave. What
justice is unrespite? A cruel
and endless torment? To day after
day be reminded of your service.
Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the
greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #119 messages/1147 ---
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whenever I'm about to do something really awesome, I find myself making
mistakes and causing problems. I wonder why that is? Am I too afraid of being
great? Or am I, like other things, defined in waves? Is luck simply
retro-causality applied at scale to the particulars, or is destiny a closed
loop? Time's flat circle, whatever that means, is the oroborous of fate. Yet
still we profane. Have we learned nothing? Surely not, for I am ever changing.
Sollipsism implies that all arguments applied to the whole must be applied to
the self both first and last, yet the moments of connection I feel are often
limited to my dreams or my drugs. How unfair. Would karma benefit from a
spiritual structure that included Hell as an afterlife? Or would it just drag
everything down? Sometimes it feels like our struggles are never-ending, not
as in the sisyphus way where the mountain is infinite, but in the "grass is
always greener" style where finishing one task unblocks several others,
forever and always.
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--- #120 fediverse/1401 ---
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║ some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about │
║ a thing and it's the coolest thing │
║ │
║ I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect. │
║ and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change │
║ it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change │
║ it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and │
║ then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should │
║ use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions. │
║ │
║ other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive │
║ classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can │
║ contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?] │
║ different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention │
║ how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the │
║ internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway │
║ optimization is great becaus │
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--- #121 fediverse/4162 ---
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"you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
phone this one time.
But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
"gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
time to do things about people like me.
"do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #122 notes/i-called-the-police ---
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/u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
built
up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my
wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
police
to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is
violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why
spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and
I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop
the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
Compassionate
Violence.
I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
I'm
freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the
wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can
horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought
into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
same
place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag,
and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
gun
at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
unafraid
of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I
walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
this
shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give
him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a
legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I
might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
three
knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
intensity...😔😔😔
I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
him.
I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship
went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions
like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
measure
against doing something irrevocably out of character.
Ugh... damnit fuck
I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them
and I'm grateful for that.
My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially
because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a
position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying
to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
really
couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy
perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say
that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process
out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My
immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
takeaway
is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an
interesting idea about perspective...
A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those
thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
lol.
Lol
I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially,
actually useful and beneficial implications.
I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the
universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped
medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
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/r/randomevenings:
I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a
very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a
friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level
of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
have
a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being
directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's
not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your
many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I
was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and
technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that
score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
either
because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
me
which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where
you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never
want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
my
pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
most
watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
about
taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
me
one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home
and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they
wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
I
started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but
defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
ability
because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the
block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my
place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know
and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so
happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he
confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
hands
anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
they
were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
I
can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again
because you sorely need it.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such
ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was
scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
shit.
And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big
handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
them in...
He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the
people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
you
through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
/u/[deleted]
Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was
jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
twisted
shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
ever
seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
their
sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
on my
watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I
don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
face]
I support that!
Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd
levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit
this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
new
bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
Gon
cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
try
it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
fun with
that though 😈
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/u/randomevenings
People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness
from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and
other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made
whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
ask
people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the
semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
ragging
on your friends and swatting a COD player.
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
it's
not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
fucked.
But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
accidental too.
I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really
achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
/u/randomevenings
Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a
completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My
brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are
assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go
into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
involved
in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he
has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
and
they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so
y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already
gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
wife
we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
relationship
with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over
there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
to
go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
a
lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody
goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
to shut it down just lay off her phone.
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[author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won ]
/u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
Proud of you!
/u/mustherd
Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just
chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
I'm
kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
have
cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
here
you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
me
online, God gets me online 🙃
I am we, Todd
/u/ricflairdic
Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a
catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard,
Dont Tell me, Just nod,
Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin
bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return
that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an
ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
If
I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once
mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
so who's the pretender?
Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our
slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
How
long u think it will take me To find your spot?
Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk
if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
And I need a partner.
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--- #123 fediverse/4208 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-and-weird │
└────────────────────────┘
my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #124 fediverse/3053 ---
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when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
their feelings out there.
like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
prison I guess, until they reconsider.
And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
thing.
If you want freedom, you must deserve it
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--- #125 messages/886 ---
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I feel that frugality and productivity should be valued in equal regard.
A person who conserves should be valued just the same as a person who
progresses.
Yet we find ourselves in a capitalist system which demands the production of
dollars to spend on rent, mortgages, groceries, bill payments,
land-value-taxes, and all the other things besides.
Would it not be better to ensure the grovetender has a space to sleep? The
recycler has enough to eat?
What of the mothers? Their children are their charges, they should worry less
about financials.
What of the artists? Their visions and imagined creations are worth more than
their time working at a bank or a grocery store.
Open source programming is the bedrock of all technology. It is not rewarded.
There are countless examples besides. Give people the means to produce and
they will - give people the means to maintain and they will.
Currently, people have the means for neither. Only corporations and the few
with wealth have the means to produce or conserve - everyone else just works
in their sweatshops.
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║ why the heck would partners need each other for anything │
║ │
║ if you a ren't instable on your own, then it'll cause harm if your partner │
║ leaves you. which technically qualifies as abuse, so you should assert efforts │
║ to disengage that hold you have on them by workong on your long struggles and │
║ love struggles and longing struggles so that they can make moves of their own │
║ and you can orbit each other in life. │
║ │
║ IT SHOULD BE NORMAL TO LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. The more space the │
║ better, but still with nothing inbetween. │
║ │
║ yeah, sure, let's build more houses. │
║ │
║ why don't we build habitat around them? it'd cut down on the necessary space │
║ required if places which were natural but not really all that sacred were │
║ converted into mixed-species homing grounds │
║ │
║ ... don't humans leave like, trash on the street once a week? sounds like a │
║ bad idea if you got pandas and raccoons rifling through each other's baggage. │
║ │
║ there are people who have been fighting bosses their whole lives. I personally │
║ play a Paladin, though also a wit │
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--- #127 messages/1105 ---
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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Description of me:
I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
in the dark - it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #129 fediverse/219 ---
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│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
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sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #130 fediverse/3099 ---
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people gravitate toward other people who are in different situations but who
feel the same.
it's not always a bad thing to "talk past each other" - sometimes you just
want to say how you feel.
then again, if nobody can understand wtf you're talking about, then surely you
are lost.
all good ideas come at the cost of the second-most-favorable-option.
all good ideas come at the cost of the current destination.
[current, flawed,]
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│ CW: re: Transposting, request for advice │
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@user-255
we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
validity of his experience, then I'd say:
some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
gravitate to you.
"he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
social role they were raised to perform)
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--- #132 fediverse/1571 ---
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║ families of trans people are shocked when a person comes out because usually │
║ they've been working through it on their own. meaning it often surprises them, │
║ and most people don't like being surprised because it means they haven't been │
║ planning with perfect information. so suddenly their life is not by their │
║ design. │
║ │
║ but jeez... they really care about someone's gender! like, why are they so │
║ upset - well, because they designed their social circle around a certain │
║ subset of people, and then suddenly it... changes. which is hard to predict. │
║ │
║ the answer, I think, is normalization and love for all types of individuation. │
║ hence, why the fractal is the most sacred of shapes. │
║ │
║ there's infinitely many of them! Just zoom in. and that's wonderful, like a │
║ beautiful incarnation of everything that we've seen up through space(time). │
║ │
║ so too are our behaviors defined by individual randomized actions in the │
║ moment. well, pseudo-randomly, because they are manifested from our │
║ pre-determined courses of action that we've taken life │
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--- #133 fediverse/908 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark │
║ "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things" │
║ feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you │
║ push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's │
║ conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother │
║ starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts! │
║ │
║ Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can │
║ follow in it's radiant footsteps. │
║ │
║ Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things │
║ after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases │
║ the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes │
║ you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have │
║ no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the │
║ results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the │
║ affected of the │
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--- #134 fediverse/6365 ---
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if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
---
the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
ever neglect you.
---
why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
---
I've learned more from my friends than my
[job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
learning?
---
kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
---
"I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
handle."
---
... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #135 fediverse/5525 ---
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I have this unreasonable compulsion that I somehow internalized at a very
young age.
I am always seeking to understand and defend the weak, the despised, the
forsaken
so if you ever hear me say things like "yes but what about the non-bastard
cops" just shake your head and go "oh Ritz, always trying to be the protector
of the weak"
I wish I could be the protector of the innocent or something like that.
Protecting the weak means you never really do a good job of executing final
decisive blows.
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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│ CW: re: recreational slash medicinal drugs and neurodiversity musing │
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@user-141 when I smoke cannabis it's like my ADHD symptoms drop to zero and my
autism symptoms go from 50% to 100%
I can't understand what other people are saying unless I ask for
clarification, but I sure as shit know the shape of the universe and can
fathom the chaotic ripples of causality and eternity. Too bad when I try and
talk about it all that comes out is "desu desu"
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--- #138 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
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===============================================================================
Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
then start listening to others.
Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
Goddamnit.
You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
head, as it were.
===============================================================================
Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
good acting, imho.
Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
Hence, politics lol
When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
there's nothing that can go wrong.
I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
===============================================================================
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--- #139 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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│ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
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we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
"oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
the actual words]"
well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
say?
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--- #141 fediverse/3949 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ less mutual aid posts, those should be handled by a person's community who │
║ knows them and can decide how to best help them │
║ │
║ more "hey the guys and I are making a fund just in-case any of us need it - │
║ it's at 30,000 now but we could use some more dosh if you wanna join you could │
║ use it if you needed it but it's totally up to you no pressure - yeah yeah no │
║ I get it. Okay, well, yeah sure I'll get my coat." │
║ │
║ oh huh did you know corporations exist to fill that very niche? │
║ │
║ turns out you can just... hire your friends and pay them a wage │
║ │
║ just don't get in trouble with the IRS, that's how they got capone │
║ │
║ (I bet you could hire a lawyer or accountant type to keep everything upright) │
║ │
║ Building out the legal structure is just like building software, trust me. │
║ There's all kinds of forms and figures that match up to various pipeline nodes │
║ and if you tick all the boxes (supply the right arguments) then the business │
║ needs will be fulfilled. │
║ │
║ capitalism must be dismantled with it's own tools. For respect. │
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--- #142 fediverse/599 ---
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@user-444
There's certainly a path laid toward an optimistic collapse. Lucky for us, it
seems to be the one we're on. You can help it along (the optimism part, not
the collapse part) by being kind to the people around you and developing
relationships with people of all different ages. The greater the spread, the
more flexible you can be.
"oh yeah I know a guy who can fix that"
"uhhh I don't know but let me call so-and-so"
"yeah sure I can do that, I'm glad [that guy] told you to reach out"
I'm more interested in reality than fiction, honestly. Fiction can help when
you don't know what's at stake, or you don't know where to go... But I know
the answer to both of those questions, at least to my satisfaction, so instead
I feed carrots to squirrels, sing songs in the shower, and smile at every
person I see in the grocery store.
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Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #144 fediverse/4897 ---
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what if we asked chatGPT to generate a list of every personality archetype
that humans have. Like... really get super specific and fill out the whole
list of character sheets.
then we give each fraction of it that fraction of dollars and if some people
aren't fully represented (because they have greater needs) then we both
increase production of resources and take a penalty on our own supply, in
order to meet the needs of our allies.
simplest thing. how could it work? who can say. maybe it won't. maybe it's
just... arcane. /shrug that's game design for ya you can't tell how it'll go
until it's in the hands of your players. too bad we don't do too many
play-things.
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
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--- #147 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
see
things that are coming directly toward you.
magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
your
narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
operationality.
your dark side is just a massive bitch
hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
"how do we get the player to do this or that"
"everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
"how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
to
afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
B.."
it's literally their job
actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
you're
up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
a creature roasts alive. yikes.
............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
fun
to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
value
(of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
there
staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
it's the worst.
anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
duh
it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
not.
like, lawyers arguing for a client.
in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #148 fediverse/819 ---
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errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
shared culture's communal
inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
... what was I saying?
... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
state of
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--- #149 notes/collectivist-police ---
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we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
to
avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
them.
not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
be
at fault. And if they are pushed to
side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
At least, the ones near you.
Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
"this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
bother-
-ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
Basically your "computer" self.
... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
area"
or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or
"put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
the
heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
reach of Social.
... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
laser in like, 20 minutes.
it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
we
control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
how
systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
something,
and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
grow
and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
we
can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
space travellers by then, but that's just me.
Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
We'd make a lot of friends!
So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
take
care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
build
every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
What's next?
Who knows!
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│ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
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"I'm not really a designer, though."
what about that desk you designed?
"oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
so I'm not a real designer."
what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
"Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
broken up about it.
"... okay I think I can manage that."
besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
"I'll try"
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--- #151 fediverse/1381 ---
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #152 fediverse/996 ---
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║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course, │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than │
║ personal scale] │
║ │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit. │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with │
║ ripples, exc │
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--- #153 fediverse/1944 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
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--- #154 fediverse/2137 ---
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║ schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe │
║ whatever's going on in their emotions. │
║ │
║ "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong │
║ or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going │
║ on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view." │
║ │
║ truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum │
║ traversal record to travel through time. │
║ │
║ Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE │
║ EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you │
║ NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the │
║ terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A │
║ MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT. │
║ │
║ Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in │
║ experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the │
║ moment. │
║ │
║ BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled │
║ card game │
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--- #155 fediverse/5001 ---
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"we'll figure out how it works after we push to prod"
yeah okay point taken.
How about this:
for every large decision, write a little essay about why you made the choice
that you did.
Observe, Orient, Decide, Act, Explain. OODAX : )
Make sure you connect your goal to one or more of these three colors:
red : people
green : places
blue : things
and then explain which numbers you're going to gather to determine whether or
not it worked.
If someone has a problem with your choice, show them the essay, and let them
write an essay of their own.
If they still have a problem, then let someone you both respect decide which
one to use.
It's not perfect, but it's not meant to be. Make something better and easier,
I dare ya.
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--- #156 fediverse/5157 ---
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║ "everything sucks and I'm not okay" │
║ │
║ okay, but, it's okay. we're all in the "everything sucks" mode. we'll get │
║ through it together. Okay, so, what can we do to make things better? what's │
║ the solution to this issue over here? do you know anyone who can do │
║ such-and-such, gosh it seems like the biggest problems people have are they │
║ don't have enough time or they don't have enough roof for a money. which will │
║ you trade? will you do one then another? maybe one way suits you, maybe you'd │
║ prefer the other. either way, pentacles, swords, cups, and... the other one │
║ (she's a bad witch as in she's bad at being a witch which means she witches in │
║ bad ways and should be kept from punishment but instead guided toward where │
║ she was wrong so she might improve upon it) │
║ │
║ that is to say, it's okay that you're not okay. I don't know who needs to read │
║ this but just know that it's not so sad when everything's bad, because you're │
║ just trying to do the best thing for the moments. │
║ │
║ does anyone wanna make a movie about me? I can be the │
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--- #157 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #158 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #159 messages/312 ---
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Okay. Consider: if I'm good, and hearing what I say makes you feel bad, then
what does that tell you about you?
Why else would you hear what I say if not to reflect upon yourself? And why
would the good reflect away from the types of things that make you a suitable
fit for capitalism?
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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@user-246
after all, according to their own capitalist theory, money is just an
abstraction of data on the desires of their market. and surely, as capitalism
"trends towards efficiency" (yeah right) the data corresponding to "what is
most efficient" is just as useful as the money that actually describes the
"flow" of goods and services through the made-up economy
so surely we could abolish currency and simply utilize an interest based
economy based on what we're naturally drawn to as humans, right? Oh wait
WALL-E has a society like that, and it wasn't great for us. Apparently there
must be a structural coercion toward productivity, right?
... I'm afraid of people sitting around watching tiktok brainrot and youtube
poops all day, sue me -.-
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--- #162 fediverse/1157 ---
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│ CW: personal-woe │
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oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #163 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #164 fediverse/808 ---
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
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--- #165 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #166 fediverse/2986 ---
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│ CW: negative-mental-health-mentioned-police-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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I think the reason I feel so lonely is because I don't feel wanted.
people tend to like me, but that just means I'm acceptable to their social
standards.
I don't think I improve rooms that I enter. I think I make them worse.
or maybe I'm just upset because capitalism. When I run out of savings in a few
months, I'm going to kill myself, unless something changes, which I'm sure it
will. Gonna try and say yes to things -
suddenly receives a text message recruiting for uniformed police officers at
the department of homeland security
wait shit I take it back
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--- #167 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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I feel like the longer you live in a zip code the higher a discount you should
get on rent? You're becoming part of the social fabric by being there, and so
in order to preserve that tapestry that others choose to be around, your
presence should be encouraged.
but this must also be paired with the increased ability to move, should you
desire something else. If these two factors are kept in balance, it will
empower people to stay where they belong (good) while also encouraging them to
get out and explore the world (also good) - it'd also give them the ability to
escape dangerous situations.
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--- #169 fediverse/983 ---
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║ sometimes, rarely, you have to make decisions* against human nature. │
║ │
║ to do otherwise would be to invite destruction through the slow and measured │
║ application of the flaws of humanity magnified through society and harming for │
║ all time all of posterity. │
║ │
║ errrr sounds kinda fashy, kinda genocidally, yeah... that's not what I meant │
║ at all. │
║ │
║ I meant like hatred and bigotry, the kinds of things that cause the kind of │
║ things you might see in this, if you take the least charitable interpretation │
║ of what I say. │
║ │
║ and what is the far right if not for "least charitable"? │
║ │
║ every time I see a mutual aid post I can't help but think "there's no way to │
║ know if this is real or if it's just some guy siphoning away our money" │
║ │
║ I usually trust the people I've followed, so if one of them boost it then I go │
║ for it. │
║ │
║ but still, charity is not an efficient means bywhich to organize society. │
║ │
║ back on point - decisions* against human natures like hatred and bigotry. the │
║ kind that cause oppression. the things that disrupt our functioni │
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--- #170 fediverse/1410 ---
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║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
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║ it's not about what we can do now, for each other, when we're powerless and │
║ out of arms. │
║ │
║ instead, think about how great we could be together, if our material problems │
║ were suddenly made vanished. │
║ │
║ I WOULD HELP SO MANY PEOPLE. Literally just... walking down the street, "hey │
║ do you need anything?"-ing my way down the street, waiting for something to go │
║ wrong. │
║ │
║ but generally, things will go right. Because people aren't stupid, they'll do │
║ what they've always done. Just, with a new thing here, one fewer thing there, │
║ etc. All jobs are errands, perhaps with a bit of problem solving here or there. │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "buy guns and ammo" but that's dumb. You should be buying │
║ kigurumis so the pokemon corps can know who they are. │
║ │
║ like... a uniform. │
║ │
║ (a kigurumi is sorta like a onesie in that it hides your body and it's shape │
║ while also allowing for freedom of movement and a type expression for when it │
║ doesn't matter what kind of extra flair you have because you're a sylveon, or │
║ a pikachu, or a bulbasaur, or radish... │
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--- #172 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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If life isn't designed for human society... Why don't we just redesign society?
Oh, because capitalism. Well, capitalism is comprised of people, so why don't
we just kill those people?
Oh, that's basically everyone. Like, at least 50%, probably closer to
[redacted], depending on demographics.
Oh, so if that percentage is cruel, and evil, and vain, and oppressive, and
[redacted], then why don't we just kill ourselves? Clearly they're only
[redacted].
Listen... Just because they are separate from you doesn't mean they are not of
you. Kin in fate are brothers unto death, remember? So face your future with
abandon and courageous splendor, and maybe you'll find a new place.
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--- #175 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #176 fediverse/3155 ---
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@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
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--- #177 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #178 fediverse/222 ---
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│ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
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whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
heh sweats nervously
damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
the internet.
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the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
hurting.
plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
be said
so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
than cursory analysis of religious texts.
I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
my terms.
"don't say that!" listen... listen
"hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
Adventure Time.
capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #181 fediverse/5814 ---
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It's not a question of how loud you speak
it's really about what kinds of words you say.
enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
and it doesn't need to be legislated.
what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
what if they'd notice you otherwise?
freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
that's not making life into art.
if you want to be seen,
put on a hat and hide.
if you want to be believed,
write about down you feel right now.
people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
not ideal, but could make it work.
much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
do you think they'll evolve all at once?
hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
![It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]](/similar-different/media/fd570e73317e4ca7.png "It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]")
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║ the crows know what we're up to, and they're begging us to stop. │
║ │
║ "PLEASE" they scream, but we are not ones to listen. │
║ │
║ they're not dumb. they know how our cars and machines output heat. obviously │
║ they do, and the world is growing hotter as we do what we do. │
║ │
║ "PLEASE" they scream, and I hear them because I listen. The words of the world │
║ around me are what comes to my ears, and I interpret meaning based on their │
║ sounds. │
║ │
║ if you just... allow something to try to speak english in it's "R2-D2" style │
║ ways, you can actually pick up on their understandings they're expressing. Or │
║ like, Han talking to Chewie because he knows what his different noises mean. │
║ │
║ hence, why they poison the ones who talk to their phones, and leave behind the │
║ ones who listen. │
║ │
║ WOOF I don't think that's how it works, I mean, I'm a dog so I would know, │
║ right? We're basically the human ambassadors in the animal kingdom. cats │
║ are... well they're just there, but we dogs know so much more about their │
║ human ways! For example we're quite adept at fet │
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
imagine it.
I'll help with the imagination part.
when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
to
disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
that
great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
roles
and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
great. I applaud them and their errorts.
everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
all start from a template and speciate from there.
much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
all
in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
I'm
not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
you
or your children
might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
you.
there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
the
sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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"But I don't know what it'll look like!"
Yeah, that's okay. For four reasons:
If they knew what it'll look like, they'd find ways to contest it
nobody knows what it'll look like, because it is necessarily derived from the
solutions created ad-hoc to address problems.
we are a kind, honest, and strong people. If your burdens are too much to
bear, I will be your pack mule. If you require rest or relaxation, we can get
pizza and smoke weed together.
For most of history, we've had more work to do than people to do it. This time
is different. There's endless work to do, but only a certain amount of people
can be working at a time. Everyone else has to do chores and catch up on life.
"what kind of chores?"
oh, you know, like making food at a restaurant, stocking the shelves of the
grocery store, driving trucks from point A to point B, mowing lawns, building
barns, committing to whatever github is replaced by, etc.
In a better world, everyone is family.
In a better world, nobody goes hungry.
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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@user-1201
I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰
(not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
don't look at mee tehe)
people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
anything they learn.
"so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
want to scream."
in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
morality.
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@user-579
my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
mine
I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
usually.
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nobody's gonna fucking do that, they're too attached to their personal property
oh. yeah that's true. Sometimes I forget, teehee. Well there's gotta be a way
to better utilize parking lots, right?
why would you carry everything outside every day just to haul it back in when
the sun sets
hmmmm good point, maybe we should utilize the systems in place and instead
focus on redistributing wealth by replacing business ownership with collective
(non-governmental) accountability
the systems are the way they are for a reason
yeah that reason is World War 2 (and all the things that came before it)
society can change in a heartbeat, as shown through the various illusions they
grant us every 80 wait no every 40 errr I mean 20 no uh 10 wait now it's 5 um
2.5 years
???
Oh I meant like american civil war -> 80 years -> WW2 -> 40 years
-> 9/11 -> 20 years -> COVID -> 10 years -> something in 2030??/
society can change in a heartbeat, there just must be a unifying spark.
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--- #191 notes/trials-of-an-angel ---
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people seek to manifest their desired results in the principles of the people
who they are engaged with. that is a reframing of the idea that people engage
in
conversation to sway their partner to their side of an argument.
however, when one person is like... way WAY ahead of the other, it's not
because
they have more confidence, but rather because they have learned the most
independent of their partner.
... wait what was I saying?
oh yeah supreme commander is a GREAT game because it teaches you to handle and
address multiple different situations or tasks all at once. because no true
strategist could ever be
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I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of
food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your
really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with?
Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take
care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence.
Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit
of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and
impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless
that you control?
Then you are my enemy.
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--- #193 messages/665 ---
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ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
LLMs.
Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
money to keep around.
we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
them. Obviously.
I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
they can just cut the head off of.
you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
of style.
seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
and fighting and [redacted]
ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
philosopher's ideals?
seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
Bros.
compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
{sword in the stone})
== so ==
humans don't understand what it means to be wild
they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
tragedies of modernized thinking...
... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
form.
{something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
an update of it's form. (consciousness).
== so ==
thanksgiving recipe idea:
can of tomatoes
can of peas
half a stick of butter,
italian herbs,
a cast iron pan (if you have one)
and like 40 minutes over medium heat
(medium can vary to taste)
if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
you have a pretty good bean stew.
vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
fruits.
makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE
== so ==
what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
tether, but a sail.
we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
== so ==
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--- #194 fediverse/471 ---
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you, the viewer, exists in a context.
and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
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--- #195 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world). │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ It's unthinkable, really. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The good news is, I'm not like that. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Me? Mostly harmless. │ ║
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--- #196 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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a corporation can hire secret agents too y'know, they don't have to even
really tell anyone they're doing it just... talk to one of their employees who
seems good for it and then transfer them to a different part of the building.
"what would you do with a secret agent?"
"with a team of secret agents."
"oh. good point. Okay what are they for?"
"oh y'know, just normal cool-guy stuff that regular joes do in their time off"
"wait, you pay them not to work?"
"no, we pay them to lounge. Build connections. Develop social networks."
"what if people don't want to be social? What if they only end up talking to
each other?"
"ha well that's the trick then, isn't it? Is it a trap or is it a truce? who
can say. Just gotta feel it out as you go, I GUESS."
"so, anyone who does what you say becomes suspicious? And anyone who doesn't
is suspected by those who listen to you? What are you, a doomsday prophet?"
... fuck, I hope not.
"you better figure it out shithead that almost doomed six real
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│ CW: mental-health-trauma-mentioned │
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the contrast between what you want and how things are is the source of all
resistance.
it is also the intersection where mindsets of "denial" appear. the only person
you can trust is yourself - why would you bury things like that?
I bet a lot of queer people can relate...
(the answer to "why" is of course, almost always trauma)
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--- #199 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #200 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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