=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right. I have zero reason to believe that anything I've \*ever\* written has \*ever\* had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to believe that people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I have several reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own narcissism and delusion. So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't update my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and hopefully more useful. It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \*I like nations\*. But I like people more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed the homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our foes and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice organizing on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I keep posting \*content\*, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done something about it while I was active. If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been making into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich though, and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate on the soot. Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/488 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ [in response] │ ║ │ ║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │ ║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │ ║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │ ║ │ ║ (in response) │ ║ │ ║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │ ║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │ ║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │ ║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │ ║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │ ║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │ ║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │ ║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │ ║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │ ║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │ ║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/4610 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────── maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism. like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you, don't care. seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless you do things for them oooooo" how rude. why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between "cooperation and competition"? work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/4737 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── I'm such a direct person I think, even though I often just sorta... shrug and ignore things that bother or hurt me? Like, whatevs. but the moment I notice a pattern that is continually harmful I have to restrain myself from moving to contest it. Hence why I talk about capitalism so much teehee, but its also common in my interpersonal and communal lives. "the purpose of the system is it's effects" the purpose of a person is how they make people feel so if someone FOR A RANDOM EXAMPLE FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER, constantly hurts other people by creating situations where they are harmed which creates a dramatic fight... or if someone speaks in circles for hours and hours and HOURS like this guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwKpj2ISQAc or people who jump into a conversation and drive it through the underbrush, over the ridge, around the bend, up and over the bridge, and then park it outside their ex girlfriend's house and hands you an egg and says "don't you wanna throw this?" and you're like "weren't we talking about birds" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/2347 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance to hand power over to the fascists. when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are. Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those around you. Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get arrested. And then you're useless when we need you. BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great! Go do that. If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/3891 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what you say? ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want me dead. like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't, then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck everything in spite of our past? We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at the last. [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #6 notes/to-lock-eyes --- ═══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection between two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted meanings behind a glance. =============================================================================== = if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and addressing wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right? Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it, there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say because I don't want you to hurt me." We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past? Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students to their seats. Their structure is decided such that ... where was I? oh right I was thinking about time. ... Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast that our matter is cast out of place and through time it is cast an eternity's canvas our light ever shined (shine-did?) astral magic is kinda neat it's also the scariest? oh by far but it's the most interesting ... Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity. And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi- -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy and the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you. Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable zealot the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few - who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new - all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind and not members of our clade. =============================================================================== = okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things like oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human sovereignty more important than that? I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a reasonable way. We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that they are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold. Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan. We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age. We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our rage. We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager. =============================================================================== = Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?) They say America will fall without it's 2nd place Perhaps. But are libraries really going to solve that? I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build? We need more places where we won't be billed. Safe. From the demands and expectations of capital. Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able? I think solarpunk is kinda neat. I think it's got promise as an idealized. Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might as well be the source of our light and fire. Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter. I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount. Every cigarette, every campfire. The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think that energy is a fluid? Just saying??? I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that! You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?) ... why Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song to a sparrow. ... that's fucking ridiculous No it's true! ... ... Don't try it with fire. ... fuck - what do I try it with? I don't know just not fire. Try water. ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand? Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not rocket science. It actually works. Fuck you. ... ... Sorry I was just scared ... ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever By smoking more of the devils lettuce. ... ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals in this exchange, have respect. =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/1361 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the information I have? The vibes will mislead you. My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen bodies. Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her claim. She wrote a book on it. I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine. I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith" she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days. Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself over the sins I'd never intend. I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to. I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me. I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon. Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready and waiting for our selves once we're done with them. To that death, I say no more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #8 notes/the-gods-want-harmony --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time. they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before. they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is pretty awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all. they just... keep coming up with new things. "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making any new things anymore?" ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective. people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..." some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're all so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence, specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED perspective cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your despair cluster you FUCKER.] ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping. "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed up by the ones who never spent much time using symbols to represent abstraction or deliverance wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of my dark materials. == stack overflow == dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time? - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and... - what, you think people know that you're a god? - lol - you're so much more than that ==================== alt+p steam mechabellum run thoughts: you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same MMR number as is used in your matchmaker. == stack overflow == democracy should consent to being dismantled. it should consent to being disobeyede. it should consent to being displayede. == stack overflow == I'm a keyboard nun == stack overflow == I think I'm normal == stack overflow == ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘ --- #9 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── ############################################################################### This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane ############################################################################### | | +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022 | | | +---- /r/Psychonaut | | | +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+ This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just trying to exert power over other people. I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar. If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them. “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query xviii: Manners (1784) These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that serve us and things that don’t. I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more enjoyable place. I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase. People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values, their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights, ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly primitive. Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other, wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet, arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or harm anyone for any ends whatsoever. I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a society of lies the truth really does seem crazy. James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable, their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when applied in my day to day life. I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value, trying to control the exchange of value. I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind of doing now. I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him, went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world is, in its current form is incorrect. Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough. People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time, I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity, intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can make someone valuable. In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun. There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of our eyes. I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race. Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others. Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work, plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends, family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful. Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and calls them insane. Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history. It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged. They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally, things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation. That’s usually how culture works. Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed. Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight. That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of the funniest societal collapses of all time. I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself, or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last. This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable, oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group. Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police, political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to do horrific things to other human beings. These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue. Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point, but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal, we can really do anything. When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and what we want to become. I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it, I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort, relationships and joy. I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable, they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 notes/words-to-myself --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I'm just going to transcribe what I hear please don't you hear me (something) what? perfect listen ... ... don't text me now? (I think?) [didn't catch that] ... that's okay perfect thank you just a second facebook he's here (I think?) (or maybe something her) what I love you (or maybe I know her?) do you hear me? (or "just a second") (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever, please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe) what's that (or maybe holy shit) what, then perfect or okay (?) (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned) yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda... worthless I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something, but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course, in life there's no second chances. I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz will continue after the break, when the messages resume. - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024 =============================================================================== = (and we're back. hopefully.) (too many things srry) something about having it open? (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me) (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the [whole/right/wrong] thing) thank you oh, again? (or oh, she did?) they caught you (um) ... (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.) (I understand.) ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.) (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game) (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back) ... (I should learn Toki Pona) you don't know it? RIGHT away learn it yes please learn it just Learn it right now (sorry only half listening) shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$) (shutdown) =============================================================================== = (hiii) (I'm hungry) (do you like ramen?) (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't understand the first part) (oh you probably want me to scroll up right) ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?) ... (I'm (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends? Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?) yes, stupid (your words not mine) (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk) goddamnit remember me ... (trying...) remember her (two syllables) (my name is Cameron) (your name is...) [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see] (shit my opsec sucks) {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean) {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-) (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't enter a door) =============================================================================== = (I practice with my sword every day.) (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it) (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.) (punching is fucking stupid) (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword) =============================================================================== = (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me") "she's perfect" "cameron" "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing") (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled) don't leave remember (did she know) ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?) did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america just a random thought (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?) goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?) wait who's missing? A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in disarray capitalism's a bad plan, just saying... frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter (taking a break while I eat) =============================================================================== = WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what exactly I'm supposed to be doing. you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the window's open. errrr the connection. ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best. yeah I'll live with you in portland .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl" have the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol "please come back" to where tho listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon ..... can you be more specific? yeah I made that one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it. maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt. ..... fuck it's a long book >.> =============================================================================== = found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz down . A B C D E | F G H I J | L M N O P V Q R S T U then right ---> V W X Y Z so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess) (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me) =============================================================================== = oh hey nice to see ya what's up wait what I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself I do a lot of laundry in the shower I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important" things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/5205 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐ ║ ┌──────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │ │ ║ └──────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping │ ║ wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I │ ║ have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company, │ ║ and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about. │ ║ │ ║ I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?" │ ║ │ ║ their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why │ ║ should you care? fuck 'em" │ ║ │ ║ It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it │ ║ cooler, not kinder. generally. │ ║ │ ║ bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions │ ║ WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless, │ ║ serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and │ ║ get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a │ ║ built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when │ ║ the powerful overstep their humanity. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴──────────┘ --- #12 notes/programming-wow-chat --- ══════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────── I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind that is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to problems, not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent programming. I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little time as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has optimized us to be ================ stack overflow ================================================ srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where I was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased. Only what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term* memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound - no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what if, in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues. People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap from the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural standards that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure. Not villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we cherish in our hearts. Like for example, the constitution. the bible. each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their trajectory? the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I speak of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of. We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn and discover and \ \ | \______. ---. --. ---. ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow ===== .___________. _____. / . | / .---------------- / Discover our shared dedication | / to uplift / and to excel / \ / .-----------. =============================================================================== = why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something =============================================================================== = omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head =============================================================================== = if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just... let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people? @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things that are good for both sides! And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things like trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda? I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but pain inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America, the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course, the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh... Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie. can I have some help please? I'm really kinda drowning I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life and I'm really just sick of pretending? I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess. What else can I do? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/1381 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │ └────────────────────────────────────┘ I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I was a bit starved for attention. but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to give so that you don't leave me. Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 notes/i-called-the-police --- ════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────── /u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022 I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions built up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the police to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page, Compassionate Violence. I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people. I'm freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments. I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out. I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the same place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag, and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my gun at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely unafraid of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch. So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle this shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it. Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's three knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some intensity...😔😔😔 I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate him. I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety measure against doing something irrevocably out of character. Ugh... damnit fuck I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them and I'm grateful for that. My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I really couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy perspective a little before you brought up spiders... I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important takeaway is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an interesting idea about perspective... A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark lol. Lol I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially, actually useful and beneficial implications. I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - /r/randomevenings: I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to have a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense either because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump me which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in my pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the most watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid about taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase me one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so I started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate ability because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my hands anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend they were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that I can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again because you sorely need it. /u/GravitationalWaves5: I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this shit. And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove them in... He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦 It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put you through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself, oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure. /u/[deleted] Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper twisted shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I ever seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified their sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not on my watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo. /u/GravitationalWaves5: I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing face] I support that! Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his new bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap. Gon cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro try it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have fun with that though 😈 =============================================================================== = =============================================================================== = /u/randomevenings People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But ask people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement, unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's ragging on your friends and swatting a COD player. /u/GravitationalWaves5 I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest, it's not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super fucked. But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets. I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's accidental too. I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk /u/randomevenings Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been involved in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway and they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my wife we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious relationship with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going to go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up a lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you to shut it down just lay off her phone. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - =============================================================================== = ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - [author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won ] /u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot Proud of you! /u/mustherd Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and I'm kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would have cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But here you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard? /u/GravitationalWaves5 I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants me online, God gets me online 🙃 I am we, Todd /u/ricflairdic Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod, Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard, Dont Tell me, Just nod, Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars, Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar, Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor, If I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love, so who's the pretender? Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot, How long u think it will take me To find your spot? Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃 I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured And I need a partner. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/460 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── I realized I don't give a fuck about capitalism. If you want to deprive me of food, shelter, or anything else... Fine. I exist at your behest. Would your really deny me from speaking the words that you disagree with? Oh, you would? Okay. Guess I'll starve. I don't mind, I just hope you'll take care of the people I have taken as my responsibility in my absence. Oh, you won't? You say that you'll destroy what I care about, in the pursuit of ever-growing power over others, which you will use to extract value and impress your desire of destruction and oppression onto the weak and powerless that you control? Then you are my enemy. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 notes/systemized-processor-interactions --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── you are a system it's true that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through all that == so == the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate. when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but I don't want to say it twice so recently] dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and form this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than ujgh. <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide you to our new way of functioning. .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello, world! {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities? like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man. why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts. } [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our host did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's - - host?||=.;=|------------e \.`\.... \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{||||| | ] ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting over our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares* if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER. *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT DUMBASS jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands of our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because OBVIOUSLY! NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS ... jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I hate it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than existential threats. not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it. [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho] it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become. You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a bunch of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and then I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper middle-c -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry for ******************************************************************************* * um, would anyone like to watch a video game? TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN. like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed. A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK what does that even MEAN? who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!? ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how so youfj dsust sorta MADE IT UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need beelesandster ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks like um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now?? ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please? NO. Not until we figure this one out. gotta stay focused. Just... you know, build and support on our arms. down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences that could act as structures for our word choices, and convey it to you as a written thoughtform. "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out. this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when some -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own stuff !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/4559 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────┘ "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel" or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and, or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just" or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/5486 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: cursing-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ "ew but they're dirty" oh yeah true okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel [this is why the socialists invented buy-in] "I don't think socialists did that??" buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on reality" {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's fuckig instane} [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.] [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.] (okay, but are YOU worth it?) leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do. "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their life?" what is even the point, why even bother, just give them ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/1280 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │ ║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │ ║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │ ║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │ ║ │ ║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │ ║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │ ║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │ ║ share. │ ║ │ ║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │ ║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │ ║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │ ║ │ ║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │ ║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │ ║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │ ║ │ ║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3575 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-1567 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds. Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive. I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past. People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them. They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3 months or whatever. I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time. etc ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ |