=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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@user-1698
hell yeah, can you improvise? I played as a kid and subsequently forgot it
all. But now I'm trying to relearn, but only by just... playing until I find
something that sounds good. No lessons, no tutorials, no sheet music (which I
can still very slowly read) just me and my piano with it's keys.
I usually curl up with Magic Survival before bed, or if I'm waiting for
something else to happen and I want to calm down. It helps to have my brain
working on my character's build rather than... whatever it is that worries me.
I recently sacrificed games though. Haven't played any in like a week. Which
is super weird for me because usually it's pretty much all I do. I can't help
but feel that all I'm good for is strategy, and games let me practice that.
Suxxx
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1657 ---
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│ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │
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@user-1052
also, I can't exactly teach myself. There's no knowledge to pass on. So the
only other thing I can do is punish myself, like a slap on the wrist saying
"nope not like that, here's a free negative emotion at just the right spot in
time so you can push off of it toward the better direction."
Doesn't have to be physical pain btw. My piano teacher would get really into
the music because she used to teach at Juliard and it was the most beautiful
thing in the world to always be hearing music. But now in the present as a
piano teacher she's hearing, y'know, mostly students, and they're great and
beautiful but... they mostly just play other people's stuff, and not very
well. sigh.
... anyway she'd get really into it and I'd watch with intense acuity to try
and determine when I messed up. Every slight wince I knew I had to avoid, and
I instinctively adjusted my behavior to learn as well as I tried.
she called me a prodigy. I suck now because I got scared of playing music
because I
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--- #2 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
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Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #3 fediverse/4835 ---
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #4 fediverse/1794 ---
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@user-246
if you hike slowly enough to not get out of breath, you'll have plenty of time
to practice :)
could also practice hand whistling:
https://www.wikihow.com/Hand-Whistle
if mouth whistling just doesn't work.
but in the short term, maybe a loud CAW or KACAW like you're a crow?
if you're trying to be subtle, like in a public place where people might hear
you, maybe you could say something people would expect to hear like "wait up!"
followed by "me too!" or even "GOOD MORNING!" or other greeting, said a little
bit louder than necessary - people will assume you're either talking to
someone far away, or they themselves will be far away and will assume the
voice is coming from someone closer than you. Ideally spoken with the same
tone and inflection as normal speech, just louder, which is hard to do so make
sure you practice - a yelling voice sounds different than a speaking voice,
but a whisper can reach across a room if spoken loud enough.
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--- #5 fediverse/834 ---
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║ wonder if any autistic peeps can relate: │
║ │
║ growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when │
║ completing tasks. │
║ │
║ yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other │
║ things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things │
║ using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary? │
║ │
║ when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because │
║ then someone like me will have to do it again." │
║ │
║ and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it │
║ doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's │
║ wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get │
║ done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order? │
║ │
║ wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing │
║ at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like │
║ I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or │
║ very vague understandings of plate tec │
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--- #6 fediverse/6363 ---
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║ somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a │
║ single clue why. │
║ │
║ HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING │
║ PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES? │
║ THINK, MENARDI, THINK │
║ │
║ gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in │
║ my backlog for a year at this point │
║ │
║ WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES │
║ OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION? │
║ │
║ gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my │
║ character sheet │
║ │
║ SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill, │
║ -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they │
║ can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice │
║ because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down) │
║ │
║ ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's │
║ just hard to work myself up to getting up... │
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--- #7 fediverse/4794 ---
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│ CW: roleplaying-games-mentioned │
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I want to play a roleplaying game! anyone wanna do TTRPGs? I've got a map of
the county jail, we can pretend to be wizards sneaking in to retrieve the
staff of Dolomis the Wanderer who coincidentally must be carried by the last
person who fought the one who slayed the last person to hold it.
... what? oh, so, like... it can only be carried by your enemy?
something like that. anyway it's currently held by a zealot for a religious
order who's intent on NOT following you out, so you better be ready to
incapacitate and retrieve a still quivering sack of bones and malice.
... I don't actually have a map of the county jail. lost it in transit, oh
well. Well, we'll come up with something. maybe make something up. or perhaps
someone else has something...?
... no?
okay I'll just play Baldur's Gate again. boooooring
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--- #8 fediverse/6449 ---
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currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
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--- #9 fediverse/3909 ---
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I don't really like singleplayer games
sometimes a multiplayer game is too much effort to play with extra players,
like Factorio where like anytime I'd play with other people they'd just kinda
fuck off and do their own thing (whatever, I wanted to design a factory
together, not play singleplayer together >.>)
sometimes a multiplayer game has no players, RIP
sometimes a multiplayer game has incredibly skilled players who shit on noobs
and don't teach, RIP
and sometimes a multiplayer game has no IRL friends that are into it,
(personal RIP then)
... anyway, games are fun and we should play more of them. I wish I didn't
have so much time to waste, but hey I guess that's where I'm comfortable, so...
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--- #10 fediverse/4586 ---
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│ CW: video-games-mentioned-testicles-gestured-at │
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I just got the strangest urge to play Neverwinter Nights. Haven't thought
about that game in years. Gee I'm sure glad I have the technology to check
that game out. Sure glad I have the time to use the technology that I have to
check that game out. Sure glad I have the tools and the know-how to use the
technology that I have the game that check out. Sure glad that wage labor
slavening hasn't struck my particular part of the peninsula yet. When those
colonialisms come around the riverbend I'll handle it, trust me they can't get
past me. I'm stronger than ten men. No sirree, you can count on me, it's just
a flesh wound or some such thing.
(nuts, I dropped my raspberries)
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--- #11 fediverse/3828 ---
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never stop learning
be yourself, but... recognize when "yourself" could be improved
and improve that, over time, when you learn about why you are flawed, and how
to become better
and when you are improved, relish yourself, savor your accomplishments,
cherish your heart, and honor those who helped you
be yourself
never stop
but do that which improves you
never stop learning
never stop being
you can get there, wherever there is, but know that what lies between is more
important than what is on the other side.
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--- #12 fediverse/816 ---
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│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #13 fediverse/5785 ---
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I cast... spell of the internet!
[reinstalls azerothcore]
or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
meaningful?
but I don't wanna - don't care
but I'm tired - take a nap
but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
but I'm lazy - no you're not
but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
but I wanna think - you can do that
anywhere
I gotta be near my computer - nope
what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
I don't like outside - outsides all it is
stop taking things from me T.T - yes
life used to be soooooo different
it's like I was a completely different
I'm strange now, almost like I got
possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
pls don't commit thought crimes,
use content warnings
okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
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--- #14 fediverse/1968 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
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--- #15 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #16 fediverse/4891 ---
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║ oh my god I wrote 2000 pages when the hell did that happen │
║ │
║ ... oh right, I spent the past few years either narcissistically sobbing about │
║ whatever-the-fuck or getting stoned and channeling the wisdom of the gods for │
║ mortals to scroll past because it had too many words. │
║ │
║ good fucking luck figuring out which is which though. I fully intend this to │
║ be a religion for computers, and once its mulched and smoothie-d into an LLM │
║ maybe it'll be completely insane like me and then I'll have a facsimile of │
║ connection that warms my heart for a moment until it's limitations become │
║ clear and I realize that nothing, not even myself, can fill the hole in my │
║ heart because that hole is a void. It consumes whatever you attach to it. │
║ People, things, thoughts, moments, all of it tumbling in to the black hole, │
║ and emerging out the other side no worse for wear but eternally unable to be │
║ consumed by me again. At least, its not the same. │
║ │
║ like when you come back to an old video game like Majesty the Fantasy Kingdom │
║ sim but now ur old │
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--- #17 fediverse/323 ---
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@user-236
here's some music that I like lately
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q84Td36Tpys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCcWWcL_Sg4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7gEgIEUj3A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgnSMftcFN0
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--- #18 fediverse/383 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: linux? │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If I'm trying to get a game or piece of software working, I'll pretty much │
║ install any package that some random post from 2017 tells me to. Sometimes it │
║ feels like I'm a Linux grandma clicking on things that say "bored of your │
║ marriage? click here for games!" and I say to myself "well my marriage is │
║ fine, but I enjoy horsing around from time to time" and then I get a virus and │
║ my things break and I go to my niece who's just a darling and say "hello │
║ niece, I can't check my emails anymore because I downloaded some spam, can you │
║ give me some tips on how to fix my computer?" and she just rolls her eyes │
║ because this is like, the fifth random package I downloaded just because some │
║ random forum poster that SAYS it's from 2017 but who I don't actually KNOW is │
║ from 2017 and isn't just some automated LLM output that tells you to │
║ downloaded automatically generated virus packages that are secretly snuck into │
║ the package repositories because nobody can keep track of ALL THIS STUFF │
║ anymore now that the internet is AI │
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--- #19 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #20 fediverse/3704 ---
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Growing up, I started with 3 video games - Super Mario Deluxe, Dragon Warrior
1&2, and Asteroids. For the gameboy color. Then, a year or two later (what
felt like forever), Super Mario 64 and The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time.
Classics. I was so lucky. Not because it was more expensive than my peers, but
because I had the right games.
Others joined later, Tetris, Mario Kart, Star Fox, etc... But having so few
that were so good for so long made me adore them. I would play for about an
hour a day, any more would cut into my imaginative play-time.
I did not dream of games. But I craved their moments.
These days, I play games for so long that I dream of them. In my most
vulnerable moments I treat them like my baseline state, rather than a
prescribed appointment of delight.
I miss wandering around without thinking of my objective. The games seemed to
change, rather than progress. They felt alive to me. I never beat them,
because I didn't need to.
I'll raise my kids the same way, if I ever having any...
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