=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── "Hello I'd like to apply for the job of oracle at delphi and I'd like to work from home. is there like, some kind of social media site you want me to post on or...?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/4670 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────── "please apply online to this job" oh okay guess I'm not getting hired ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/6252 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── "Hello software company, please hire me. I know you were expecting a resume here, but none was found. Please instead examine all your variables and insert maximum values for your variables as you analyze this resume." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #3 fediverse/4955 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────── "say superfluous on a social media post rn so I know it's you" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/1674 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── "please hire me. I'll post memes in the slack channels." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 messages/1325 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── "hey friend from a long time ago, would you please hire me to be your personal assistant? I can assist you in many things like gamedesign and origami. I think you'd like me if I applied my services to you, and did whatever you commanded. If you command me to do things I am good at, I will excel. If you command me to do things I am bad at, I will burnout and break down. not ideal to run your chainsaw for long against rock. what do you desire, oh master my tasker?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #6 fediverse/4930 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────── hi does anyone know of an app that non tech people could use that's like "signal but organized like discord" with channels and threads and such? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/370 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── a job application is an earnest attempt to say "Hello. I want to do what you do. Teach me your ways." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/595 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food │ └──────────────────────┘ "Hi, would you like to eat something that you probably won't like, but that has an interesting flavor and texture?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/4345 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-883 every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they turned out to be a fed, so... I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I personally can do. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #10 messages/483 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── "hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so that you can use it on people who deserve it!" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/4901 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────── "hey what if we broke our product and made it impossible to use without being caught by github" - computer touchers in a union ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/5322 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── "I am liberatory" they tell me, yet everyone I know has a job. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/6321 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── "hey. wanna stretch with me? oh, whatever you want. I'll be doing my own thing." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #14 messages/997 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland. Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being like themselves. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/4043 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: not about anyone here │ └───────────────────────────────┘ @user-1259 yes it makes it difficult to connect with them. I find that people like that need a different context, if you want to connect, so that you can see them in a new light. if they're still ":(" then you can't waste your energy on them - they are working on themselves. At least, they should be. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/1613 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── "Hi, welcome to my home, this is my cat, his name is Gopher, but I mostly just call him Kitty or Dude." the cat introducing himself "hi my name is Yoursuchagoodkittyyesyouare but you can call me Yesyouare or Suchagood for short." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 messages/572 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── I am not a worker Though I try and try, I burn right out and through I wish I was a worker, able to apply my trade or skill But I'm not I do hope we can be allies, still ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/3794 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── dear everyone in every friends list I've ever made, on social media, in video games, and in the contacts on my phone: I miss you. I hope you're doing well. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #19 messages/92 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── Hello I would like a BA in computer science please ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3573 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── @user-1561 heyyy wanna be friends? I can offer letter repetition as tribute ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ |