=== ANCHOR POEM === ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── "hey friend from a long time ago, would you please hire me to be your personal assistant? I can assist you in many things like gamedesign and origami. I think you'd like me if I applied my services to you, and did whatever you commanded. If you command me to do things I am good at, I will excel. If you command me to do things I am bad at, I will burnout and break down. not ideal to run your chainsaw for long against rock. what do you desire, oh master my tasker?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/1173 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything? I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to differ.) I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland OR I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you think they'd be into that? I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be, at least not when you're dancing with my mask. I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a working professional who knows what's best. I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after a year or so. I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/3117 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: cursed-uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ hey. wanna know what would be really cursed? -- if trump dropped out and musk took his place -- good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and will never tactically retreat -- maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for now means our eyes aren't to our flanks. what else could they do that would come out of left field? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/3383 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── "Hello I'd like to apply for the job of oracle at delphi and I'd like to work from home. is there like, some kind of social media site you want me to post on or...?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/1317 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │ ║ again. │ ║ │ ║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │ ║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │ ║ │ ║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │ ║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │ ║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │ ║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │ ║ │ ║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │ ║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │ ║ to [stack overflow] │ ║ │ ║ what's time if not the present amiright │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ anyway... │ ║ │ ║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │ ║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │ ║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │ ║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │ ║ at heart I guess │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #5 messages/740 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────── had a dream that we gamified all work and then put them into one single mega-game so whenever you wanted you could work on an arbitrary project and it would spin up a new game and take your inputs and use them to accomplish whatever was happening ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/3395 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: cursed │ └──────────────────────┘ they don't want artificial intelligence to augment human intelligence, they want it to replace it. like... imagine an office worker randomly copy-pasting whatever pops up and the computer saying "okay then what happens... uh-huh... okay and what if you click the green button? ... right... okay, and now try typing this" etc ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/1270 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── "this is too easy" thought the one guys to another, as they glanced about at their trending behavior. -- stack overflow -- sorry I had to interrupt: "what if you used scissors or a knife to cut your diapers and then saw what kind of plants would grow in what conditions?" I betcha could evolve an organism (careful, might be small) that could grow from plastic. I wonder what their fruit would be used like? anyway, as I was saying, if you ever notice that your mortal foes aren't putting up much of a fight, chances are you're being used to do evil. Keep yourself awares, but do research-thought-imagines about the nature of goodness. Picture yourself from the perspective of your foes. Develop conceptions of justice. Validate through mutually experimental contests of charms. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #8 fediverse/1718 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── dear old people - did you know computers don't need to have buttons? You can literally just type what you want to make happen (if you know the magic spell) and it'll just, do that thing how cool is that ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/5052 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── "hello, I'd like to make games using your tools and art assets. I will sell anything I make to you and only you, and if you don't want it that's fine too, I'll just play it with my friends sometimes." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘ --- #10 messages/483 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── "hey listen! Do this thing to hurt me! Build the infrastructure to do it so that you can use it on people who deserve it!" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/4678 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: AI-mentioned-crimes-mentioned-penises-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ "Hi chatGPT, can you take every post that I make on the fediverse and replace all instances of criminal acts with references to fruit and all locations with several sentences of poetry about horses and their beautiful cocks?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘ --- #12 messages/392 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── Hey, can someone please accomplish my dreams for me? I'm too busy being a waste of potential! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/5911 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐ ║ I was always fascinated by the Linux way of programming. Need to do something? │ ║ write it into a script! You never know when you'll need it again. Then, just │ ║ stay organized, religiously so, and understand that you will forget about │ ║ stuff. But, you'll come across it eventually, ready and willing and able to │ ║ help you. │ ║ │ ║ if you don't want me using AI, then give me ~20 junior developers. Which is │ ║ more efficient, do you think? │ ║ │ ║ "girl you haven't even tested your vibe-coded slop, how do you know if it │ ║ works" │ ║ │ ║ oh I'm sure it doesn't, but it's the thought that counts │ ║ │ ║ ... I guess I'm just saying, please don't burn the data centers. Computers are │ ║ not only bad for the environment when they're burnt, but also we can use them │ ║ for all kinds of neat things. Even if it takes a lot of energy, just... build │ ║ more solar panels and only use the computers for important stuff? │ ║ timeshare-style? │ ║ │ ║ \@/documents/books/man-and-the-computer.pdf │ ║ │ ║ that was my mother's book... I love her. I miss that side of her. She fled │ ║ when the cancer came. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═─────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/581 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-428 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or... something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an image that could be edited. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/5109 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── does anyone know of a website where I can host videos on my neocities that isn't youtube? maybe something I can set up on my own server computer at home like a file server or something? how do I do that, what should I google, which is the easiest and closest to the metal tools I can use? [practical, sensible, courageous. these are the adjectives we need.] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘ --- #16 messages/572 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── I am not a worker Though I try and try, I burn right out and through I wish I was a worker, able to apply my trade or skill But I'm not I do hope we can be allies, still ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/6321 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── "hey. wanna stretch with me? oh, whatever you want. I'll be doing my own thing." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #18 fediverse/1233 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── low key kinda wish someone would kidnap me and lock me in a room with nothing but a c compiler and strict orders to only work on whatever I want ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/4345 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: uspol │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-883 every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they turned out to be a fed, so... I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I personally can do. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/4744 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: cat-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?" me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just puke, okay?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘ |