=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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My parents always told me that you should build up an emergency fund of
dollars so that you could address any unexpected expenses.
however, money is only useful if you can spend it, and sometimes when I'm
thinking about what would happen if suddenly every trans person in the country
had to go into hiding and never leave their apartment while being supplied by
helpful members of the community who they had to trust because like what else
are you going to do and boy that opens up a lot of opportunities for abuse
like what if they bring poisoned food or what if they're secretly judging you
to decide if you're good enough to support or if they're going to throw you to
the wolves so that suspicion in the area is reduced and when I think about
things like that I kinda feel like my bank account isn't that important tbh
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1094 ---
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those who can cause harm in an ethical system are villains. They will always
exist so long as someone is capable of being institutionally harmed.
and no unethical system should exist. It's definition belies it's irrelevance.
results matter, but a system is not unethical if it doesn't deliver.
success begets greater responsibilities, and I've failed all my life. And yet
the most masculine thing I can think of is to take responsibility for
something you can handle. Essentially, doing as much as you are able.
Guess it makes sense why I'm a trans girl. I've forsaken my masculinity
because I've failed to take responsibility. T.T
then a therapist jumps in and says
I don't think it's healthy to think about parts of yourself being bought and
sold in the market of success. You need to think of yourself collectively,
like a body that is under duress. It's okay if you're not working, it's okay
if you're just a little bit broke. It's okay that you're struggling, so long
as you never forget your hope.
then I say
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--- #2 fediverse/2169 ---
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@user-570
Ah, well, that time period for me was after I came out, so I was already past
the fear of being seen.
I could only ever really get the "girl thoughts" to go away with, um,
self-directed sexual attention, so I would often do so. Once every day, no
more than once. But... often for hours at a time. It was a LOT, but I resisted
as best I could, the only way I knew how, until eventually my internals would
overcome.
... anyway "girl thoughts" were just "my thoughts" I was just too much of a
dumbass to tell.
Like, I knew I was trans, but I didn't want that, because it felt like a flaw.
Because that's what I knew, that's what I'd heard, and that's how it felt, to
be denied the consistency of biology and person.
I would never go back. I love who I am, and I think if I had met me I would
have adored who I'd become.
I just... didn't think about the future much, hyper-vigilant much? Yeah.
totally. I get it.
I've never overdone things. At least not to a dangerous degree. It's mostly
just... stuff to me.
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--- #3 fediverse/1124 ---
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│ CW: re: Transposting, request for advice │
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@user-255
we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
validity of his experience, then I'd say:
some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
gravitate to you.
"he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
social role they were raised to perform)
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--- #4 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
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║ │ @user-800 Interesting thread. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Good luck, siblings. │ ║
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--- #5 fediverse/2419 ---
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@shiri
I know. Keep in mind, though, that the propagandic writing-on-the-wall cuts
both ways. There are many more of us, than of them.
your first duty is to stay alive. plus, what you can do, you can do from
anywhere, so long as the internet remains true. alas, has it ever been? but
still it's up to you, what to do. no matter where you are, you'll find friends
who will need your heart, your words, your kindness, and whatever other aid
you may give.
I'm trans and relatively healthy and strong. in my legs at least. so my choice
is a bit different than yours, mine becomes "die now, that others might live
or die later, that others might die before me" and frankly that's not a choice
at all.
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--- #6 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #7 fediverse/3296 ---
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│ CW: re: medical cartoon of genitals, lewd │
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@user-192
I loved anatomy textbooks because they gave me an abstraction of things that I
could touch and feel
I learned to project my trans-girl [target-of-gender-euphoria] thoughts onto
the mental model I had constructed of how it all worked. It helped me
conceptualize how humans are configured.
I also had bladder issues growing up so I liked to conceptualize that
structure too
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--- #8 fediverse/5811 ---
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only some people feel existential [peril/fear] at the concept of a trump
presidency.
I'm trans, I feel it so hard I considered sedition.
it felt like a reasonable reaction. probably just means I've been calibrated
to a certain level of revengeance through my knowledge of history and the arts.
I learned so much about systems, I saw the inextricable truth of the merits of
the design of capitolistic [shared societal conventions, but pronounced
"conventions"]. I also learned of what it means to wield ideology as a weapon
for mass power/cultural gains.
I see now that no matter the merits or faults of any system, power accretes in
the unworthy. They say this is because others they work with just don't want
to deal with them anymore. This isn't always true, in-fact with stronger bonds
the relationship is more secure [also true, but I said it earlier in the
sentence].
jeez, interrupt much?
anyway, as I was saying, [wasting characters]
okIlikewritngmastodonpostsitsagame2aimforzerocharactersrem
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--- #9 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #10 fediverse/2727 ---
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@user-1331
it would be SO nice to be able to scan my brain and know what gender I am.
It's confusing up there!
when I said something similar on Reddit tho people called me "truscum" and
"transmedicalist" >.>
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low key kinda pissed that all my ideas for starting a business require
funding, because funding tends to be controlled by the "business major" types,
and all of my ideas tend to involve wresting power from the MBAs and
capitalists, which means they're unlikely to invest in me or utilize my ideas.
unless of course it's crowd-funded, which makes me feel bad because it's
taking money from the people I'm trying to empower.
thus, power accretes in the hands of the wealthy, as the poor are too sick
with capital-deficiency to develop ventures that would heal them, and the rich
would not be rich if they did so themselves.
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--- #12 fediverse/4530 ---
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Problem: there are trans people and leftists and people of color and plenty of
others who live in red areas who fear for their lives
how do we help them? They need to be given the tools to escape those conditions
However, many of them are poor. They lack the resources to escape, even if
they had the tools. These are who I think of the most, for they have the least
to leave behind.
A solution: what if we got a bunch of people together and drove around to
every red place we could find and invited them along? We could pay for their
food and gas, and potentially save their lives.
I think it would help if we could stick together. Not only would we have time
to spend together learning and having fun, but also we could practice
supplying a large group of people traveling across large distances.
In terms of people, we'd need some to drive, and some to stay home and supply
resources like dollars or... other things.
I'm thinking 2-3 staying at home but potentially as many as 10 per driver.
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--- #13 fediverse/5330 ---
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I used to be aroused at the thought of being a girl. I would read stories and
look at pictures of penises turning into vaginas and men turning into women
and it would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair at my circumstances.
then, I transitioned, got SRS, and now I don't get aroused at the thought of
such things. It's just part of who I am.
I used to be aroused at the thought of wearing diapers. I would read stories
and play games of people being cursed by witches to pee their pants, or people
who were stuck at a movie theater and couldn't make it in time or whatever.
These things would fill me with longing, yearning, and despair.
Plus, I had some medical issues that made me lose track of my... um,
"currently utilized waste storage capacity" inside my body. which put me in
some unfortunate situations right around the time when my sexuality was
developing.
Now, I wear diapers all the time. I don't get aroused at the thought of such
things anymore. It's just me, as I am.
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--- #14 fediverse/4771 ---
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@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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║ │ CW: politi │ │
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║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
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║ │ CW: re: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ best case scenario, we elect a lawyer working for capitalism, the kind of │
║ society we live under. │
║ │
║ having money is the same as having resources. And resources allow you to apply │
║ yourself to a goal. The more you have, the better, but they each bear a heavy │
║ load. │
║ │
║ Do you sacrifice your labor? your dignity, your honor? what do you burn on the │
║ fire of wasteful expenditures, just for the power to rent? │
║ │
║ I'm saying that if you don't have money, you need to think about what you can │
║ do with what you got, because that's how you pay for things, at least until we │
║ decide that we'd rather help each other than work on capital's games. │
║ │
║ you have a house though, right? a place to live until it gets hot? that's good │
║ enough for right now. Stay where you're at, do what you can to help. Get in │
║ the habit of it. Think about how someone will complete their task, and then │
║ think about stuff two or three steps down the road - what tools will they │
║ need? what are they working on next? Can make any of those availble? │
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--- #17 fediverse/1399 ---
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║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-eye-contact │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If you're worried about passing, take what you're good at and make it gay. │
║ │
║ Do you wear band t-shirts and black jeans? Great you're an emo girl now, │
║ totally reasonable transitionary state before you end up as a cute anime girl │
║ with spinny uwu dresses or whatever your heart desires │
║ │
║ do you generally stick to jeans and sweatshirts? Okay congrats you're just as │
║ cute, don't feel inadequate just because you like being comfy. Hell yeah │
║ you're cute as fuck, you know you are, I mean just look at that smile! Wow damn │
║ │
║ like, switch the gender, not the vibe. not only will other people be cool with │
║ it but also, like, you won't alter the course of your trajectory. │
║ │
║ unless that's what you want, but TBH if you're both enigmatic AND phlegmatic │
║ [EDIT: but like the opposite of phlegmatic, I always get the definition wrong] │
║ then you can change a lot and people won't rely on you to be a certain way. │
║ │
║ ... you know you can delete things before you post them, right? Ha I've never │
║ even heard of the word. │
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--- #18 fediverse/839 ---
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@user-596
honestly... I'd just talk to a therapist for a couple sessions. Like, yeah,
they put that rule there because they want you to be safe. And in 2010 we
didn't "get" it as much as we do now, so it wasn't seen as something you could
just do. It wasn't really a demographic question to them, it was more
medicalized.
frankly I kinda preferred it that way, like... yeah. I'm trans, there's
something wrong with me, please fix it by giving me the right hormones. Boom,
easy, done.
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--- #19 messages/1489 ---
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"how much money do you need?" she needs a couple million dollars. This is a
reasonable amount for starting a business. It is completely unreasonable for
revolutionizing the human conception of life and death, and kickstarting the
field of transhumanism.
What she's offering is a ticket to join the future in the future. It's a way
to preserve the physical aspects of a person's form, like a one-time clone
that has all the memories and behavior patterns of the original. If the soul
exists, there are some additional problems to be solved, but we need to be
able to find out before we can plan around it.
Her method works. It does what she says it does. I see no reason why it
wouldn't fulfill the promises she makes. My only question and reservation is
about the soul, but, I think the first step to figuring it out is to create a
way to test it.
First, create the torment nexus. Next, listen for a psychic wail.
Okay, Hitler, we get that you want to test for the existence of god by burning
enough souls to light a fire big enough to be seen from heaven, but, such
things go both ways, and all you've really done is galvanized the Americans
and fundamentally altered the culture of Europe.
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--- #20 messages/1488 ---
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"what are you doing?" doxxing myself. If she wanted to save as many lives as
possible, she'd do it in a shed. She's been tricked into doing it for the
money by people who don't want to die in a warehouse. That's valid, but they
aren't giving her money anyway.
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