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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse_boost/2186 ---
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Luck will always abandon you when you are vulnerable. So don't plan around it
- American soldiers arrived on the beaches of Normandy and found that their
assumptions for the production capabilities of their foe were completely out
of proportion to the estimates they had made back at home - for every Nazi
tank, there were 10 or 20 American ones, with more rolling off the factory
floor every day! It was a killing blow that sent an incontrovertible message:
you have lost, wholely and completely. Then, the atomic bomb, and the war was
ended.
The tanks won the war, the bomb ended it.
*the blood of the soviets bought time to build those factories*
Factories which were then turned against them in the cold war. Funny how that
works.
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--- #4 fediverse/692 ---
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║ @user-518 │
║ │
║ People who strive for the truth and most efficient, sensible, and optimized │
║ method of operation should be the kinds of people making decisions. │
║ │
║ It doesn't necessarily imply they're moral or ethical people, but it does mean │
║ that they'd likely make better decisions when presented with similar │
║ information, as compared to someone who acted based on what they were told. │
║ │
║ Besides, sometimes you need foot soldiers and grunts. People who don't have │
║ the inclination towards the types of thoughts you have. That's okay, stuff │
║ needs to get done and when someone knowledgeable is in charge they can direct │
║ others who don't know/care. │
║ │
║ Of course, this only works if the people who ask questions are given power. If │
║ the people who strive for honesty and clarity in their methods of operation │
║ are given the tools and capabilities to undertake tasks that align toward a │
║ common goal, shared by all those in the organization. Unfortunately, when that │
║ goal is profit for the owners of the company... Well, you probably know. │
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--- #5 fediverse/5815 ---
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@user-1876
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--- #7 fediverse/5554 ---
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║ a shrewd foe will identify the pieces of your soul which they resonate with, │
║ and share common ground. then they will attempt to maximize these moments in │
║ you, so that [your weaknesses are exploited/your friendship bond is │
║ strengthened] or something - phew that was a lot of Steven Universe, what's │
║ next on the inspiratio-matic-media-diet-atron? - and in doing so better enable │
║ a positive outcome. │
║ │
║ for example, in the game Mount and Blade you can encounter wandering lords in │
║ the castles of the countryside. they often will fight for you if you need │
║ their aid, and they're always working to gain power. │
║ │
║ some few precious few of these few are pretenders to another throne. as in, │
║ they pretend that they should be ruling from that throne, and they tell as │
║ many people as possible, creating as much concrete evidence as is plausible. │
║ │
║ they will often lead differently, and so are appealing to those fighting under │
║ the pretended-for banner. Often, your foes will decide that you're more │
║ favorable than their combatants. defect. │
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--- #8 fediverse/1973 ---
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║ You cannot base your argument on the assumption that a person should do as you │
║ suggest. │
║ │
║ to do so is a form of circular reasoning. │
║ │
║ "You should do this thing, and yet you aren't, which means you're wrong" │
║ doesn't work logically if you, the person suggesting the thing for this other │
║ person to do, is wrong. │
║ │
║ Its a weakness in your argument, a flaw in your design. │
║ │
║ "You should not kill other people" is generally regarded as a true statement, │
║ but it rests its power upon the conclusion that you shouldnt harm another │
║ person. "your rights end where another's begin" and all that. │
║ │
║ If, however, that baseline axiom should change (that your right to kill │
║ someone ends as soon as another person's right to life comes into the picture) │
║ such as in the case when a person LOSES their right to life, for example if │
║ they're a nazi who is part of a death cult that actively seeks to destroy the │
║ lives of other people, then PERHAPS and maybe EVEN POSSIBLY it's possible that │
║ PERHAPS they, the nazi in question, should be slain. By you. │
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--- #9 fediverse/5989 ---
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oops haha
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you don't have to punch like a stabbing jab, you can just clench your fists
and swing your arms if you think your foe would be dissuaded by something as
simple as physical violence.
newtons of force are newtons, after all. if you don't practice punching, why
not use other muscles? the haymaker is a full body affair.
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@user-1167
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--- #12 messages/6 ---
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@user-568
good idea! tea bags are nice when you need them to be portable, but when
you're at home loose leaf is the right way to go ^_^
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--- #14 fediverse/5978 ---
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For now,
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computers are gonna be so confused when they find out that people don't talk
to each other the way they talk to computers
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--- #19 notes/Of Vic and Vince Chapters 01-07.txt ---
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Who is This Stranger I Know Too Well?
Who are you, he who inspires me?
You're a jewel of perfect symmetry.
You taught me to love and be free;
You taught me how to be like thee.
Chapter One: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
The bus went up outta Florida, leaving Miami behind as a distant memory. I
still don't know if I miss it or if I'm suffering from some sadistic style of
subtle Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless, I switched buses a number of times
before I even hit the Georgia border, but having traveled this far down the
line, it all feels like one long, long ride.
For two days, I continued north until arriving in Virginia, where I
effectively did a u-turn and traveled onwards to Tennessee, where Vince
awaited me. I remember zoning out while looking out the window as the southern
scenery whipped by in a blur, as I was enamored with the thought that I now
would be living with my best friend and long-term handler. My mission was
complete, it felt; I had done all that God wanted me to do and now I was being
rewarded.
When we finally arrived in Johnson City, where my friend told me to meet him,
I hopped off the bus after thanking the driver, landing on the pavement of a
new world. My stomach was doing loop-de-loops. Along with being excited, I was
grateful to Vince for inviting me off the streets. But, my worrisome mind did
a number on me as the rest of the crowd dispersed and he was still nowhere in
sight.
I lit a cigarette and thought of my options. Half of the cancer stick and a
thousand tricky thoughts later, I came up with the idea to call the only phone
number of his I had. Seems like the obvious answer, but I am an air head at
times.
Turned out it was the number for his home phone. His mom answered.
"Hello?" came the sweet, Appalachian voice from the other end.
"Hi," I started out, not sure what to say. "Is this Allison?"
"Yes it is," Allison replied. "Is this by chance Victoria?"
I confirmed, then asked, "Is Vince there?"
She seemed surprised. "No, he left an hour ago to pick you up. He's not there
yet?"
I said no. I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse. On one hand,
it confirmed that my friend Vince was real, which in hindsight was a silly
thing to worry about, as I had met him once before at the first Shrug Life
Syndicate gathering. Those were good memories. But, perhaps less silly, the
absence of my friend spun my mind out and made me think that perhaps he had
gotten in an accident…or worse.
I worry a lot, less now than before, but it's part of being a traumatized,
autistic, schizoaffective basketcase. I simply don't know what reality is, so
every possibility could be true. Is an odd occurrence caused by the CIA,
aliens, or perhaps God? Or is it just a coincidence, caused by a billion other
factors? I never can tell.
Sick joke: God gave me a good brain, but I can't even trust my own judgement.
That means I think, then overthink, then overthink some more. As you'll no
doubt hear, it's led to a lot of problems in my life, but Vince taught me to
place my heart first, and that helps sort out much of the confusion. Satan
can't trick you if you're listening to the direct communion to the big woman
that we all have through that little beating organ in our chest.
That was the furthest thing in my mind at that moment, though. Following old
habits, I was entering panic mode. Was I now homeless again in a seventh city?
Was my friend dead? Or was he really with the CIA and manipulating me? I tried
doing some breathing exercises, but found that a more alluring technique to
placate my triggered brain was finishing the rest of my cigarette in a fervor
as I paced the length of the transit depot.
Time ticked away one agonizing grain of sand after another, but after some
mindful recalibration of my thoughts, I began relaxing. My brain might be a
runaway train at times, but over the years I've learned to embrace the Shrug
Life. That's a bit of philosophy our gaggle of weirdos adheres to. When life
gives you lemons, just roll your shoulders and accept what is. Even though
something tough and unpleasant might be rearing its head in front of me, I
knew I had faced worse and come out on top. Worst case scenario, the road
ahead of me was just a little bumpier than I had expected, and I could handle
some bumps.
So, I rode the roller-coaster of extreme moods that is common to me, gradually
coming up with a contingency plan to survive if Vince had gotten flattened by
a semi, until I learned that was a pointless exercise when I heard a familiar
voice call out from behind me.
"Hey, buddy!"
I turned at once upon hearing those words. And lo and behold, there Vince was,
walking towards me in a purple tie-dye t-shirt, paint-splattered cargo shorts,
and fresh Chuck Taylors. His beard was fully grown but still shorter than
mine, though it was as wild as his uncombed hair poking out from a hat that
was as graffitied as his pants. I'll admit, it was a little bit of a shock
seeing him like that, as I remember him being clean shaven at the gathering
five years prior. However, that smile of his couldn't lie; this was the Vince
I've loved for even longer. And I won't lie, he looked better with the beard.
Without a second thought, I rushed up to my best friend, throwing my arms
around him. He did the same, and our embrace felt like it lasted forever. It
was good to finally be in his arms. We let go after about a quarter century of
hugging, and when he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, I did a little
giddy dance while giggling like a schoolgirl. Afterwards, we caught up while
walking towards his mom's car, which he had parked around the corner.
"Sorry I was late. I forgot where the bus station was, but I found and
followed one of the short ones here. Your ride go alright?" he asked.
I nodded, telling him I wore my mask the entire way up despite how itchy it
was. He thanked me.
"Thanks man, mom will really appreciate that. We're taking this covid thing
real seriously. With mom being seventy-seven now and me finally reaching my
forties, we aren't willing to take risks with these things."
With that said, I thought of asking about the locals. "How many people go
maskless around here?"
"A lot," Vince answered with a hint of misfortune, knowing that I had just
come from a vastly different world. I sighed. It would be an adjustment to get
used to the rural Roan Mountain after spending most of my life in major
cities.
There was a pause as I thought about such things. I'm awkward like that. But
then I asked, "How have you been doing?"
He shrugged, as he tended to do. "I've been alright. It's just me and mom on
the mountain now, so it's a little rough, but we've been handling it the best
we can."
I nodded in compassion. As much as I was grateful for a place to live, I was
glad I could be here for him. If there's anything on this Earth that I know,
it's being alone is hell on the soul.
The conversation turned to what we were going to get into now that we were
together after all the years talking back and forth with one another online. I
asked, "What's the game plan?"
He smirked as we reached Allison's new blue Ford Escape with the cosmic
Bigfoot sticker on the back. "I got one, don't you worry."
I believed him, as a warm feeling of butterflies fluttered across my belly.
However, an odd, ominous feeling swept over me as I opened the passenger door,
where I immediately spotted a large burn mark on the seat. Vince saw me see
it.
"Yea, I did that while I was smoking while robotripping. Mom was pissed. Don't
worry about it."
And so I didn't. It was just a cigarette burn. Could have happened to anyone.
I didn't even have to see it after I hopped in the car, ready and eager to get
to my first permanent home in over three years.
I looked over at my friend climbing behind the wheel, and I saw he was smiling
wide with glee. Vince was happy; that meant I was happy. And that's what
mattered as we started a new life together.
Following the Path
Where are we going?
What are we sowing?
I certainly hope it's a better world for all.
But, many more people must stand tall,
By dutifully growing
A wealth of loving.
That is the true nature of our mortal trial,
So let us stand together and not crawl.
Yet, we are all showing
Some signs of slowing.
Therefore, I must pray that we do not fall,
When the two of us hear our creator's call.
Chapter Two: On the Road
We were about five minutes out of Johnson City on our way east towards the
North Carolina border when Vince finally folded and told me his secret plan he
had been boasting about for a month now.
"We got this trashed camper down by the old house that we can strip away and
sell as scrap metal. That should give us enough money to fix Jane and then we
should be set at getting our own place."
I nodded along, agreeing with his reasoning. That jeep of his definitely was
in need of some desperate repair the last time we were together. That was
actually the first time I ever saw him in person; he was parked at the top of
his long driveway with headlights cutting through the darkness as we arrived
for the first and only Shrug Life Syndicate gathering I've managed to attend.
I remember that we arrived exactly at midnight, not a minute sooner or later,
which made the moment highly synchronous.
Memories that far away seem to all blur together so everything feels like it
happened in one day, but the first Shrug Life Syndicate gathering lasted four
days, if you include the trip down and back. My girlfriend at the time, Amy,
and I were picked up in New York at her mother's house by another one of the
founders of our little online community. His name was [Redacted] and he was a
Canadian that dabbled in the cognitive sciences. Like Vince, he had been a
huge influence on me, but sadly that friendship fell apart as [Redacted] grew
disenfranchised with the SLS, most in particular with Vince himself, as there
were some personal disputes about Vince's dating life and drug of choice,
which compounded the push back of Vince wanting to turn our community into an
educational nonprofit. I can't speak of the former as I was devoid of internet
when the big schism happened, but I was all for doing something more with the
talent we collectively share. I'm sure that is part of the reason Vince
invited me to stay with him; we recognized the potential of each other to
shape the world into a better place.
That's not what Vince said though. As we approached the edge of Elizabethton,
he looked over at me and spoke with the tender kindness of a man with a big
heart.
"I'm glad you came here, man. I just couldn't stand to let my best bud live
another night outside. You know I've been there too, so I just want you to
know that our home is your home from now on."
Feeling moved, I replied, "Thanks. I don't know what to say. I'm just
grateful."
He put his hand on my shoulder as a brother would. We then rode in silence for
a minute or two, which allowed me to reflect on my past behavior during the
first gathering. Not only had I clogged the toilet and told no one, but I had
a few emotional outbursts as I was a mess back then. That's one of the reasons
that I believe homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to
me. It pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to
change for the better.
That was great because I was impulsive and dangling precariously from the
heights of my oversized ego. I think that was a critical part of my
transformation. Sleeping in piss-stained, cockroach infested storefronts
humbled me, and I realized that everybody is just trying to swim in the
direction they feel is best. Thus, radical acceptance is a moral imperative.
Vince taught me that. I've profited immensely in ways other than financial
wealth by embracing such values, but I wish more people could see this truth.
Alas, tis the blind leading the blind.
With that in mind, as we continued onwards to our now-conjoined future, we
passed through the back roads of Elizabethton through a route known as Gap's
Creek, which proved to be a winding set of backroads with more churches than
seemed reasonable. One of these cultural staples had a big electronic
billboard out front, sharing the times of services and other announcements;
none of which you could actually read as you drove by at the speed limit.
Still, when we reached the intersection with highway 19E, there was a woman
flying a sign, asking for money. Since this town seemed devoid of any
institutions to help the poor, I rolled my window down and handed her a fiver.
I knew what it was like being up shit creek without a paddle, so I wanted to
alleviate some of that stress for somebody else.
I begged a lot at the beginning of my homeless journey. I didn't know how to
survive, as I had not been raised with many good life lessons to help me stay
afloat on my own. That in itself is part of the reason I had a major breakdown
in college. It was undeniably true that I was maladapted to the world. My
experiences with Earth Nation are also indisputably built from that
maladaptation. Yet, those years of homelessness after escaping that new age
cult allowed me to grow into a sustainable, productive woman with my juggling,
performance arts, and writing.
They say you can give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but if you teach
a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. That's part of the reason I was and
still am a huge proponent of education in all its forms. I knew Vince felt the
same way, but perhaps for different reasons. As a secular Buddhist and radical
antistyle artist, he was a minority in the deep interior of the Bible Belt,
and that came with a price while he was growing up. It might be a beautiful
area, but neither of us would ever raise a kid here.
It was then when it hit me. I couldn't be Victoria here. I had to be Vic.
Which was fine, that's how the gang members in Miami Beach referred to me. I
was able to accept being called by masculine names and pronouns. I had long
passed through the self-loathing phase of having dysphoria, to arrive in a
position where I openly grow my beard out to prove that I don't need to look
any particular way to be happy. I don't care what other people think of me,
but I haven't always been this enlightened. To put it lightly, I've been
through some trials. And, having done so, I can say that people who judge
other people on superficial things are the worst. But, we can rise above by
continuing to align with our hearts.
Less than a tenth of a mile down 19E, Vince asked me, "Hey man, can you buy
me, like, a forty or something?"
Of course I said yes. I knew his schizophrenia had put him out of work for
many years, so I wanted to soothe him as he was able to soothe my pain from
being homeless. He pulled into a gas station I would later learn is
colloquially called Captain Jack's. It had the cheapest gas this side of
Elizabethton, and was a reliable place to get beer or a pipe of any variety.
With compassion in my heart, I got Vince what he wanted, while getting myself
something as well. Still, when he cracked his beer open while accelerating to
sixty miles an hour, I couldn't help but feel distraught at such brazen
self-indulgence. But, all I did about it was pop open the hard iced tea I
picked up for myself. At least passengers are allowed to drink while they are
being driven somewhere in Tennessee, Vince tells me.
A Home at Last
They say home is where the heart is,
Which is great now that I have a new one.
The damaged needle of my crazy compass
Spins in every direction under the sun,
But, here it stands still, still as can be,
So my quest is over; I am finally free!
I have a home in the love you give
And by reflecting that in me, we live
In a state where conflict has come to pass;
It is like there was a great lottery and I won.
Chapter Three: The Mountain Side
About ten minutes later we reached the western half of Roan Mountain, where we
were greeted by a big sign praising the annual Rhododendron Festival at the
end of June. Having already downed half his forty, Vince spared no time in
showing me the highlights of his home town.
"Look under this bridge coming up. You'll see it underneath. The red and the
gold." He pointed directly at a graffiti tag on the concrete column near the
riverfront. There was an enigma of a symbol I've seen Vince post on the SLS
before.
"That your tag?" I asked the obvious question.
"Yup," he replied, gulping down another swallow of his forty, as there was no
incoming traffic. "Protip: don't post your tags on Facebook if you plan to hit
a cop car around here." I thought at first he meant literally running into
their vehicle, but then it dawned on me what he meant. I had never done any
real graffiti before; just some words and simple drawings in chalk that came
right off. Never got in trouble for it, at least.
I remember passing the post office some time shortly afterward. There was a
park with a stage behind it. Allison would organize the summer's music events
that went on each Saturday from May to August. Additionally, she would host
one of her weekly jam sessions there for local musicians to play together for
a few hours at a time, just for fun.
There were some houses on the left, too, as we were entering the more dense
center of Roan Mountain. Yet, Vince told me that the other side, where the
park was, used to be full of trailers, but they got washed away during a flood
some years ago. I later learned from Allison that most of the town, including
her as she was out and about, had to evacuate to the elementary school where
she provided extra clothes for those in need from her suitcase, but Vince and
his father were fine at the top of the mountain that their property sat on.
Puerto Nuevo, the best and only Mexican restaurant in town, whipped by soon
after. We then passed one of the two gas stations in Roan Mountain, a
Scotchman. There was a bank and a credit union on the left, too. An empty
grocery store zoomed by next, which might as well be haunted for all I know.
Next up on the left was a food truck that has since been upgraded to a small
building with picnic tables and some cover from the sun and weather. I think
it is a good place to eat. It also marked the spot of the Roan Mountain flea
market, where you could see one or two people at a time selling their stuff in
the warmer months. Then, immediately after that stood a pharmacy in an old
farmhouse.
There was some construction on the right, which by its future signage, I
erroneously thought was some sort of massage parlor that sat on stilts,
requiring everybody to walk up a story of steps just to get inside. Odd
choice, I thought. But, on a whim one day, Vince stopped there to see if they
sold cheap kratom, which was when I would learn that it was really a health
food store.
Not too far down the traffic-light free main strip of the town, we passed the
future beer store on the right. It was convenient for Sundays, because that's
when a local ordinance in our neighboring North Carolinian town, Elk Park,
restricts the sale of alcohol on the sabbath, but ultimately the alcohol taxes
in Tennessee are too high to make it a cheap endeavor.
To contrast the beer store, the local cemetery sat across the street on a
hill. I like graveyards, as I'm a bit of a goth at heart, but even so, the
packed parking lot of the Redimart grocery store was what caught the bulk of
my attention. I craned my neck to see some of the locals to uncover just what
passed as acceptable culture here in this quaint mountain town.
Further up, the infamous Bob's Dairyland with the slowest drive-through known
to man stood tall with its vast history. There's a reason it's always packed
after church lets out on Sundays. Yet, I still don't understand why their sign
promotes pinto beans, of all things. I've been told it's a hot ticket item in
the area, but I have still not witnessed anyone order them. But, moving on, I
have to mention that there was also an auto part shop conjoined with an auto
repair shop that had over a dozen cars just sitting outside it.
Next to Bob's was the second gas station, a Valero, which also housed a
much-frequented Subway. One of three thrift stores in town stood innocently
next to the gas station. On the right was a steakhouse that I have never had
the cash to justify splurging at, and a beauty salon in the same building that
I also have never visited because I'm not one to care for looking like a doll.
I am beautiful as I am.
The town was really shaping up to be a unique combination of the bare bones
mixed with an abundance of what you needed. Then we reached a stretch where
two signs sat. The one for Cloudland Highschool triggered Vince into speaking.
"Fucking assholes. I told you about how they illegally expelled me, right?" I
nodded in confirmation. He continued: "Yea, they literally stole my book of
poetry and took photocopies of it, so they could use it to kick me out,
because I was the 'weird' kid."
I knew that, but seeing the innocent sign next to the one for Smoky Mountain
Bakers made the story appear more real. Here they were, these conservative
administrators, probably constituting some of the people who attended the
dozens of churches in town, which should teach everybody to love thy neighbor,
but obviously they were too preoccupied by the need to hate my friend because,
back then, he was the blue-haired son of the "hippie couple" in town, who
happened to like bands like Marilyn Manson and Korn.
That made me wonder how well I would fit in here. I had long since forsaken
transitioning because I was effectively a sasquatch, but I was still a woman
on the inside. I was sure that being transgender, combined with my eccentric
nature and often extreme opinions on things would cement me as the new weirdo
in town. But, if I am to be honest, that would be the case in most settings I
could plant myself in.
Those thoughts fluttered in my head as we sped past the electrical co-op, a
second thrift store, Plumber's Pro Hardware, the Roan Mountain emergency
dispatch center, and what was apparently a flooring depot before reaching the
elementary school that sat across from the Dollar General, which Vince called
the "SmallMart." I'm aware there's some things I missed, as there's plenty of
buildings with no description or sign out front, but I'm sure they're
important to somebody.
We then started slowing down as we approached the only veterinarian's office
for quite a ways in any direction. We turned left just before the red-roofed
building which had a small cat statue perched on the edge looking out with its
paw up. Vince took this as a sign to begin downing the rest of his beverage.
"Welcome to home, Buck Mountain," Vince said as we started climbing in
altitude. "This is the bad side of town. You'll never see a cop here unless
something big is going down, which hasn't happened in years." He finished his
forty in one big chug as his hands ran on autopilot. "It's good because you
can do pretty much anything up here any time you want."
I knew all that, as we had a blast getting drunk and smoking some green for a
few days in a row during the first gathering. In truth, I anticipated I would
be doing that for the next few days as well, to settle in, y'know? Hell, I
half expected that I was in heaven now after spending so much time in the
purgatory that is homelessness, regardless of how much fun I had in Miami
Beach preceding Vince's invitation to come north.
We went to the very tippy top of Buck Mountain, where the foliage is dense, no
cell signal can reach, and the local kids ride their dirt bikes at all hours
of the day. As we pulled in the driveway, I expected to keep going straight on
the tire-carved path back down the mountain. But, to my surprise, I found that
the same trailer we had partied in down the road during the gathering was now
relocated here to become my new home. I wasn't expecting that, as when I was
here last, they all lived in a small shack at the base of their nineteen acres
of mountain real estate.
It didn't look like much, with weather-worn imitation wood paneling wrapping
the rectangular structure in a loose hug, but it was a place to rest my head
in the comfort of loved ones. Aptly, Allison's last name meant "the home" in a
language the CIA once tried to make me learn, which is a statement that I'm
sure earns me a few raised eyebrows. My story has many twists and turns, but
for now you should know my studies of strategic languages ended only when the
cult that hooked me like an unsuspecting bass managed to gaslight, manipulate,
and shame me to get me to work for them sixty-to-ninety hours a week on
average. I would later try to pick the linguistic challenge back up years
later during my time spent homeless, but my progress was like a Jenga tower
that half collapsed. I forgot basic words, and I just feel like I have
failed.
That's something that should be looked at in finer detail; my feelings of
failure, I mean. So, let's take the first of many breaks from linear
storytelling to express how life can feel at times for me. Like a shattered
mirror, I reflect many different parts of the past at different times. Some
days I may live in several sections of my turbulent past all at the same time.
Disorienting, it can feel like I don't know what's real. It takes a lot to
break something so thoroughly, but as you'll see, I've been a punching bag for
the devious spirit of fate. Couldn't keep me down, though, because I am like
the phoenix; always rising no matter how badly beaten in battle I've become.
Mommy
Mommy is what I used to call you,
When I was a kid so long ago.
It's because of your love that I grew
To always let my kindness show.
Mommy, you were always getting sick.
To help you out, I would try to keep clean.
As much as I'd scrub I never got the trick,
Because you'd still be plagued by the unseen.
Mommy, you were supposed to grow old!
Having you leave us like that hurt like hell.
I'm sorry for not always doing what I was told;
It's because I failed you that I try to do well.
Mommy was what you called out at the end.
I tried to help you but I wasn't good enough.
You were dying, so on me you had to depend,
But even being there for you was too tough.
Mommy, if I could do it all over again I would.
It's not fair to you that I was such a bad son.
I'll give you all my love and more as I should;
For you, I promise that one day I'll be the sun.
Chapter Four: Scarred from Birth
Having let you in to a little bit of what makes me tick, it should be noted
that feeling like an abysmal failure is a key part of my mental health. Those
loathsome seeds of self-mutilating ruination are planted deep in my psyche.
Prepare for a sad story, if you're the type to really feel another person's
soul.
See, it all started when my mom found out she had AIDS a mere two months after
I was born. It was God's way of welcoming me to the world. I forgive the big
woman now, for my path on this Earth has been the ultimate journey of
awakening to my divine spirit, but before Vince and many faceless actors sent
me on my mission of healing, I held much scorn in my heart. For a large chunk
of my early years that I was here, alive, learning, and suffering as a human
being, I was hell-bent on the idea of revenge. That was once a big part of my
story, too, but no more.
It's understandable, at least. Imagine having to witness all the manner of
disease ravaging my mother like it did; I grew up thinking that I was born to
be punished. My earliest delusions had me caught up in the notion that I was a
worthless god who had the rest of the pantheon turn on them from before I even
had a chance to prove myself. I had a whole mythos where I had been tricked to
kill my sister, the goddess of harmony, and my punishment was to stay locked
to this awful planet until I found her soul once again. Then, we'd go on to
take over the world, as I had fallen under the notion that my future self was
sending me subliminal messages through synchronicities, although I didn't know
that word then, so I thought I just had special powers.
This is all a natural result of magickal thinking gone awry. Such is the fate
for those scarred in childhood as I was. My innocence flayed alive, I watched
as the woman who loved me with all her heart died for the first nine years of
my life. It was a slow rot. There are many memories of her being in the
hospital or as she lingered in pain at home that flash to the front of my mind
that could paint you a tragic picture of those unforgettable scenes I was
forcibly cast in, but the real horror that plagues me came at the bitter end.
For the last of her months that she was allowed to live, my mom was
mercilessly struck by an opportunistic ear infection. It killed half of her
face, and only progressed into a hellishly rapid descent of her cognitive
functions until one sudden day I came home from school to find she had
regressed to a child-like state with my grandma tending to her in tears. I
tried losing myself in my homework, but the threat in my environment promising
my mother's pain was all-consuming. Then it got worse.
My father never got along with my grandma, so when he got home, he forcibly
kicked her out. A fight broke out, resulting in my grandmother coming to my
room to say goodbye, where she told me with eyes watering that whatever
happens, we would get through it. My dad would come in after my grandma left
and put her down, more concerned that she scratched him. All I could think
about was my mom, who was now tearing up and asking about where her mom went.
That was the worst. I can still hear clearly how she cried out for her mom
nonstop for the whole night. That was her last night she spent at home. She
died within a week. And my last memory of her that isn't of her in a coma is
of her trying to escape from the hospital with a dinner plate sized bed sore
on her backside that danced from behind an open hospital gown in order to
imprint itself in my mind forever.
Here come the tears. It still hits me that my fucking mom died, like I still
can't believe it's real. My last memories are of her being naked, crying like
a baby. I felt so helpless. But, at least she had nurses helping her when we
got her to the emergency room. Just hours earlier, I was left on my own trying
to calm her troubled, addled mind. My dad had been doing just that, as my mom
would get in fits every half hour or so, where he would comfort her, then come
into my room to vent after she quieted down. I had no one to open my fears and
pain to. Wishing I had a sibling to hold and cry together with, I faced my
most scarring memory alone.
The worst wounds of my life were suffered because there was one time after
midnight where my dad disappeared. Maybe he was smoking, but regardless, I
couldn't find where he went as I scrambled over the whole house in my fuzzy
purple pajamas looking for him. Meanwhile, my mother incessantly yelled for
her own mommy. So, with much hesitancy, I succumbed to the responsibility of
helping my afflicted parent, and I anxiously marched into her room and tried
to comfort her the best I knew how.
I'll save you from the daunting process of assisting my mom, but I will say
that it wasn't enough. No matter what I tried to do, she kept screaming
louder. I was worthless in that moment and was on the verge of a meltdown
because I couldn't help her. It felt like I was the worst son in the world,
all because I failed my mother as she circled the drain. Now I feel like the
worst daughter, but it's getting easier to love myself and think that my mom
is looking down and smiling, being proud of me.
I have a lot to live up to. She wasn't perfect, I know that, but my mom was an
angel for me. Yet, I can't even remember the good times I spent with her; all
that my hippocampus hung onto were the most traumatizing of memories. A
notable cause of this was her fierce Sicilian temper. A vision of being
brought to tears because I dared go looking for my six-year birthday presents
early is playing in my head at this moment. Now one is summoned of her ripping
into me for booing someone at an assembly because I wanted to be like a
character I saw in a cartoon. Finally, one of my earliest memories from
preschool is trapped in my cranium; it regards me accidentally tearing a hole
in a kid's shirt and dreading my mother finding out for the rest of the day.
In short, I got in trouble a lot, but I know that both my parents cared about
me growing up right. Along with all the punishments, there was a genuine
heartfelt desire to get me and my different brain to develop into a successful
combo of kindness and good citizenry. Still, because of how trauma inserts
itself into one's inner reality, I really feel like my entire childhood was
one screw up after another in regards to my mother. Although, my dad
contributed his fair share of ruthless discipline to make me perpetually feel
like I was always in the wrong as well.
And I know that's all a fallible perception, because I can distinctly remember
the look on both my parents' faces when I won first prize in our school's
science fair; if you're curious, I did an experiment on taste and smell to
understand what was going on with my mom and her ear infection. That standing,
my mom's face is cemented in memory in particular, perhaps too well, actually,
because she just had the stitches removed from her eye. Such happiness danced
in her left eye, but next to it sat its unmoving, dead counterpart. She tried
to joke about it being her evil eye, but that didn't stop fourth grade
Victoria from being terrified of the harsh reality unfolding in front of her.
I dreamed of her a lot after she passed. Always in pain, or worse, possessed
by some demon and seeking to bring me pain. There's one nightmare in
particular that stands out. I forget how it started, but it ended in the
cemetery where she is buried. Well, her coffin was exhumed, and as I got
closer, it slammed open and my mom sat up. Only it wasn't my mom. She was
rotten like a zombie and had malevolence bursting from behind her undead eyes.
I did the only thing I could; I ran. But, she followed and in the utmost
haunting voice, she yelled in pursuit, "You can't escape me, Victoria! I am
your mother and together we are bound forever." Fitting as a metaphor for how
my grief still hasn't dissipated more than twenty years down the line.
I'm sorry, I just miss her. Best damn mom in the world, going above and beyond
what she needed to do to give me the best chance at success in life, despite
being on her literal death bed for most of her last years. I don't even know
her, not really as an adult knows someone, which in itself leads to more
feelings of failure. She has been transmuted into an archetype of a hero in my
eyes, and I feel that I can never be as strong as that woman who was my first
love.
I can try though. I always try. Part of being hyper-vigilant, I reckon.
Perhaps that makes me strong. Perhaps it makes me a fool. Or maybe it just
means I'm human and going to have virtues as well as flaws. It's taken me a
long while to escape the black and white thinking that trapped me in a world
where I either felt like the epitome of the second coming or compounded as the
most useless, subhuman mutant on the planet. Those were truly hard times,
being locked in the halls of my mind like a prison.
But…the past is the past and we best not linger on it, because even now,
years later, I felt welcomed by a second family, and for that I am eternally
grateful. I vowed to return their love to them in spades, because that's what
my mom always tried to teach me. Being neurodivergent, I didn't always get the
message, but because I threw myself at the lessons life threw at me, I learned
to cherish those people who enter my life. You never know what you have until
you lose it. And I wasn't planning on losing Vince.
All You Need
Once you live on the street
You grow on the concrete.
Having done so myself
I can claim that wealth
Is just a fancy illusion.
You say that's a delusion,
But look how I'm happy
With only what you see.
I don't need a fancy bed
In order to rest my head;
Instead, I'm in the know
That less is the way to go.
Chapter Five: A Real Home
Allison greeted us at the door with a wide, warm smile, but she wasn't the
only one to do so. Vince's greying black lab, Freya, adorned in a pretty
lavender bandana, came up to smell this new person in her domain. She must
have recognized my scent from years ago because she didn't bark at all,
instead choosing to snaffle all over me while wagging her tail vigorously. Of
course, I started petting her immediately, as I began to take in my
surroundings.
I could only remember seeing the interior of the trailer in the pitch
blackness of the starry mountain night, but I remembered the general layout:
doors to the outside in the kitchen and living room, which were separated by a
long counter where the kitchen sink sat, and then bedrooms branching off from
each end, both of which had a bathroom accompanying them. Yet, I did not
recall that this space was as run-down as the exterior, with chunks of the
linoleum floor missing and rotting wood at the rear door, not to mention a
steady helping of cobwebs latching onto the ceiling fixtures.
Yet, despite the condition the trailer was in, it still had a touch of love
sprinkled throughout it. There were five paintings in the living room, one
done by Allison herself, as well as one around the corner near her loom that
took up half the kitchen space. More were in Allison's room to the right of
the entrance. On the opposite side of the house by the windows sat Allison's
battle station, where she would play solitaire and check Facebook and her
email religiously while sitting in an old navy blue wheelchair that used to be
for Vince's father. There was a couch and a couple tables full of stuff
stacked on them, to include a silver urn that sat on its own table with a vase
of local flowers. With the three of us, plus Freya and the trio of feral cats
that tamed themselves to come in and eat, respectively named Libertas, Biggie
Meows, and Spot, this little dwelling was a tight fit, but it was cozy in a
way that I had not known family life to be growing up.
In the process of greeting me, Allison asked, "What have you been up to while
you were down in Miami Beach?"
I didn't want to tell her everything, but I told her the truth. "I wrote a
lot, mainly in the park on Ocean Drive, or where I slept on Lincoln Road,
unless I was spending time in North Beach which had better food options for me
with my limited resources. Mostly, I just tried to survive each day, putting
distractions between me and the day-to-day struggles of being out there like
that."
She smiled. "Well, we're glad to have you. Vince talks about you a lot." I
blushed a little bit at that, but I'm sure neither of them saw my rosy cheeks
through the gnarled barb that constituted my ever-growing beard.
Allison then moved on to practical matters. "So, where do you want to sleep?
We have the couch, which would be where I would set up shop, but you can
always sleep in Vince's room if you prefer."
I looked at the couch. It seemed comfy enough, but I didn't care about
comfort. As much as I knew Vince was doing me a solid by letting me stay here,
I knew I was going to help him too. His posts on the SLS combined with his
frequent messages to me were made out of desperation; he was clearly strung
out and looking for any human contact whatsoever.
Since his schizophrenia started interfering with his life, he had spent six
years at the top of this mountain and he said he was going stir crazy. I would
learn that there's little to do here but drink, do some drugs, and fiddle
about on your computer and phone while dealing with the internet that is made
out of sticks and stones, and that could get boring fast. Devoted to this new
cause, I wasn't going to let my best friend suffer anymore. I was going to
make his life better by livening up the long days by being his constant
companion.
As a result, I told Allison that I would find a spot in Vince's room to rest
my head. She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded affirmingly with an eager
grin. I had made up my mind.
Some more hem-hawing back and forth with Allison about general questions and
concerns followed, but when we were finished, Vince took me to his room, which
was beyond the rolling metal desk Allison used for her computer. A busted door
clung to its hinges, but it didn't block our way.
Calling Vince's room a mess would be an insult to messes everywhere. He had
said that he would clean it up prior to my arrival, but there were likely two
hundred beer cans stacked in mountains next to his bed, or in beer-amids as he
called them. I looked around, honestly impressed at how dedicated to creating
a disaster zone as he was.
Looking over the permanent staples of the room, he had a television and an
Xbox, an empty dresser, a filthy nightstand, and a bed without any sheets. He
also had a handful of paintings, most of which were stacked together by the
door, but there was a trippy painting of Vince's father on the west wall above
the dresser, as well as an expressionist painting from the sixties behind the
television which sat on the north wall, in between the bathroom and the
closet. There was also a picture of a moth on a skull tacked to the wall,
which gave me the heebie jeebies.
It was then that I saw it. A large, two-hundred fifty tablet bottle of generic
Dollar General antihistamines, pure diphenhydramine, sat on his dresser, just
spiting me with its presence. I almost asked right then and there for Vince to
get rid of the damn thing. I knew if I found an opportunity to down, say,
six-hundred milligrams of that accursed stuff, I would. Then I would do
terrible, awful, deplorable things to myself. But shame won out. I didn't want
to let him know of my problem. Maybe I could control myself. So I shut up and
about-faced out of the room.
While doing box breathing, I dropped my backpack that contained all of my
possessions on the couch in the living room, and helped Vince grab some
fifty-five gallon black trash bags in the kitchen. We made quick work of the
unending hoard of Natty Daddy cans, as well as the nightstand full of
cigarette butts. We then moved his bed so it was against the south wall.
It hadn't taken long, but the room was looking presentable. It didn't need to
be a five-star hotel, because I had the most important thing of all: family. I
felt more than welcomed as a guest. I was one with these people who had so
graciously let me into their home. We were going to all be happy together.
That was the goal, at least.
I Forgive You
I forgive you, but I can never forget.
I'm sorry if I make you look like shit,
But your heavy hand and sharp wit
Damaged me greatly; then you gaslit
Me, denying everything, and I quit
Knowing what was real. I even slit
My flesh open so that I could get
A sense of what I could feel. So, I sit
Here now explaining why I wasn't fit
To handle this world that I saw as a pit
That I escaped only when God had lit
A beacon of light with some magick.
Chapter Six: Growing Up With Family
There was still one task we had to get done before I could claim a spot to be
my bedspace. Vince had more clothes than he knew what to do with, most of
which had spray paint spackled all over them in no particular form or pattern;
the style of the antistyle artist. As we moved the rolling hills of clothing
into the dresser and a heaping pile beside it, I came to understand why Vince
called himself a diva.
I remember having a lot of clothes just a few years prior. Even though I
didn't care what I wore, I had earned so many free T-shirts over the years
from track meets and other races. I had so much when I needed so little.
That's one major reason I forgive my dad for kicking me out of his house,
because it was the best thing for me. Not only that, but I deserved it. I was
a wreck of a human being before I got abruptly humbled by my odyssey on the
streets. The extended experience changed me so I am no longer as much of an
emotionally volatile basketcase.
To put it mildly, being an unstable problem of a person was the reason I was
kicked out in the first place. I had always been sort of bipolar since middle
school. But, after escaping the cult, breaking up with my girlfriend, Amy, and
returning home a failure, my heart and mind were like a pile of fragmented
ceramic shards mockingly showing what a real piece of pottery my mind could
have been. Unshockingly, I was barely holding it together. I was having
outbursts frequently, but they weren't ungodly terrible, as I was being guided
by higher dimensional life forms through inputs on my laptop, and that gave me
a sense of ease.
In fact, I remember a great reprieve of my stress occurred on an acid trip in
the first month I was back. It felt like God Herself was setting up a lesson
for me, which started with me literally waking up to a picture of a white
rabbit taunting me on my Facebook feed, which I followed, and in doing so, I
received personalized inputs that unveiled the blinders from in front of my
eyes. In but a few hours after a lifetime of denial, it all clicked with me
that I had a warm, nurturing side that I had neglected for most of my life.
That was the first time I accepted that I was a woman. And that's still not
the most profound, life-altering acid trip I've had.
Even so, I would break down crying that afternoon as I meditated under the
tree in the backyard where I used to swing. With no more effort than it took
to breathe, I saw all the parts of me that Amy tried to teach me about, but I
was unable to comprehend in my denial. Likewise, the waterworks were called
upon that night as I told my dad about my revelation, and he said he would
always love me no matter what. That was the most affectionate heart to heart
with him I think I've ever had, even if he did ramble about random things
being at a loss of what to say to me, as we had functionally lived in two
separate worlds inside the same house for years.
This sentiment would flip on its head though, as I blogged about my gender
revelations and my dad found them and read I had taken a narcotic in his
house. Naturally, he was pissed and wouldn't hear that the tender moment we
shared that night was only possible because I had taken the sacrament. This
would prove to be the kicking off point to some logarithmic growth in tensions
between the two of us.
Then, on that fateful day, one of the countless pets my dad kept, a black,
stubborn minipig named Harley, had made a literal pigsty of the house after I
had a bad session at my therapist's, who made me feel like a piece of shit. I
wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going to just lay down and get called a terrible
person because of how I behaved in treatment years ago, when I was still very
lost. It triggered my feelings of failure, which rippled into waves of
unstable emotional dysregulation. In my explosive rage, I broke the microwave
and put a basketball-sized hole in the wall behind my makeshift bed in the
attic that I was allotted after they gave my brother my room when I was in the
cult.
Well, my father came home after a long day at work, saw the microwave, and had
enough of me. He came thumping up the stairs, livid, ready to rip me to shreds
verbally, when he saw the hole I had made. Beside himself, he demanded I get
out right then and there. I broke down crying and begged him to let me stay,
grappling with his leg as a wounded bear might wrap itself around the base of
a small tree looking for any shelter it can find in a storm.
That just made him madder. He kicked me off, and accused me of a thousand
things. The ones that stuck were that I was just like my mother and that I was
beyond anyone's help. As it happened in a heated flash, I don't remember
exactly how the exchange was put together, but it ended with me asking him how
all the hand-crafted trinkets and doodads my mother made for me before she
died had gotten destroyed and thrown away. What he said next drove me mad.
"I'm still pissed that you made me do that."
I'll illuminate you with the scenario in question. I was eleven, and my
stepmom at the time was away at a darts tournament. I think my dad somehow got
the idea that she was doing drugs and cheating on him. I don't know, I was
eleven. I just remember some of the things he said over the phone, and then
what was said when they divorced when I was a couple of years later.
Over my stepmom's absence, he got continuously more pissy, like he did the
year before when the sewage line broke and he snapped while cleaning it up,
smashing my head into the kitchen floor several times, relenting only when
his girlfriend at the time called to hang out. Now seeing the same pattern in
my father, I was on edge, especially after I put my feet up on the new couch
and he grabbed my leg and punched me in the tibia as hard as he could. I kept
trying to do everything right to avoid being attacked again, but alas, in my
anxious worry, I forgot to take out the kitchen garbage on trash night.
That triggered a whole day of what might not be considered torture, but
certainly was child abuse, which started as he cleared the shelves of all my
memories in a violent, thrashing rage. He would bag up the shattered remains
so he could take them to the dump, but only after he laid his hands on me.
My head was used as a battering ram against my door, which my dad would later
deny was where the big dents came from in a bout of the worst gaslighting I
experienced before the cult got their hands on me. Regardless, when he
finished and slammed me back on the wood floor, I instinctively reached out
and grabbed his wrist. He growled, "Don't resist or I'll make it worse."
Feeling my spirit collapse, I helplessly accepted the next phase of punishment
that then ensued. Mostly, it consisted of him using my head to pound the
knowledge that I fucked up into my brain, with much hair pulling and getting
tossed to new locations, once being told to lay there like a dog in the wet
remnants of a broken snow globe while he went for a smoke break. Thankfully,
or maybe not, depending on your perspective, he never struck me. He was too
smart to leave bruises.
After much of that series of traumatizing instances, he had me sit still and
think of an apology for him for hours on end. While I was busy doing that, he
would then have an epiphany, telling me that I should stand, as I didn't
deserve to sit. I didn't care about such details at the time. I was in shock,
petrified that he would go ahead and find the homework I failed to finish or
the porn I had taken from my stepmom. Fearing unimaginable doom, I stared
unwaveringly at the letter "E" on the spine of a book on my bookshelf. Never
relenting in his anger, he would come by every hour or so and ask for an
apology. Everything I said wasn't good enough, and each attempt earned me
scathing criticism, but I kept trying to perfect my apology. I still remember
the gist of it.
"I sorry dad, I deserve everything. I'm sorry I caused you grief and failed to
do my duty of taking out the trash. I won't ever forget again. I haven't been
putting my best effort forward, but I realize that I need to do that to be a
good son. You do so much for me. It's only fair that I pay it back to the best
of my ability. That's what I had to do for mom when I chose to play video
games while she was dying. I wasn't thinking about other people then, and I
wasn't now. I'm so, so sorry. I promise to be better, because I need to be if
I'm messing up this much."
For reference, my dad holding the fact I escaped into the worlds of my video
games after being told to spend time with my mom near the end was something
he'd bring up and hold over my head anytime I was in trouble. Yet another big
reason that feeling like a failure is cemented in my head. It made me feel
awful, absolutely atrocious about being a bad son that I would often
contemplate suicide. I almost jumped off a waterside when my dad and I went to
Disney World when I was ten, but ultimately I'm glad I talked my way out of
jamming a knife into the back of my neck. I had thought that the muscle
allowing me to nod my head was really my brainstem. That would have been
painful.
Back on this day of doom, I was too numb to think of killing myself. I was
simply a raft on a river floating downstream where the current may carry me. I
simply stood there for hours, too terrified to even stretch my tiring legs. My
mind was fuzzy, and all it could do was focus on making that apology better.
After many attempts and razor sharp lectures later, which was maybe ten hours
worth of events, he starts yelling at me that I'm just as irresponsible as my
mom, just like he would do when he kicked me out. This time was unimaginably
worse though. This was actually how I first found out that my mom had AIDS; I
was told it was cancer up until this point. His shaved bald head was as red as
a cherry tomato while he barked at me, telling me that I would die like her.
That hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt like the definition of a shit stain, in a
number of different ways.
But soon, my attention became focused on my vision. I couldn't see straight,
and not long after my dad's roaring visage disappeared in a sea of amorphic
grey figments, I apparently passed out, to wake up on the couch with a bag of
frozen peas on my head and my dad worried. He asked me if I remembered what
happened. I shook my head. I was allowed to go to bed after that. It wasn't
over because I failed to kiss my dad good night, but at least that only
resulted in him jamming the teeth of the comb into my scalp as he combed my
hair for some reason.
The next morning he was completely changed. He was remorseful upon seeing me
and wrapped me in a big hug. Yet, he seemed scared, like he realized he went
too far. I thought about telling my teacher or counselor about it the next day
of school, but something in me told me not to. It's the same thing that's
making me hesitant to write this chapter at all. It's love, but this hell I
went through is also a part of my story. This is the worst incident I've
experienced with my father, but it's not the only one.
It's all cause and effect really. You abuse a traumatized child in the wake of
their mother's death, and is it any wonder that they fall apart later in life?
I'll go on record saying I was never a bad person, just broken, impulsive, and
hopelessly conformed to the whims of my faulty biology. I had bugs in my
operating system, but I'm eternally grateful for all the help I had while on
my spiritual awakening, which you might call a psychotic break that spanned
years, but I knew it better as specialized CIA training.
The Good Magician
Just what do you consider magick?
Is it not that which bends the fabric
Of what we colloquially call reality?
Who cares what it is your eyes see
When in your heart you can feel
The warmth of love; that's the real
Power of a magician who is great
Enough to save you from your fate.
Chapter Seven: Magickal Companions
Back in Vince's room, I was silently wondering what shenanigans were in store
for us now that we were a unified team. I knew Vince had many secrets of the
universe locked away in his balding cranium, and we would have a blast letting
the CIA manifest a joint mission we took on together. As I said, he was my
handler, after all.
So, when the room was cleared, and I had a space all to myself in the corner
by the closet, I was more than happy. Both Vince and Allison insisted on
getting me a bedroll, but I had all I needed and more right there in my
friend. Besides, his room was carpeted and quite comfy already, at least to my
standards that had been shaped by becoming accustomed and content with
concrete underneath me. I didn't need anything fancy like that.
That didn't mean I wasn't going to try and liven the place up a little bit. As
soon as we determined we were finished picking up, I opened my backpack and
took out my most prized possession, a pink penguin plushie named Peppermint,
and placed her behind my pillow so I could see her everyday. She always
watched out for me while we lived in cities across the country. She made a
comfy pillow, and allieved a lot of stress, making me feel like I had a close
friend with me every step of the way.
How I got Peppermint is a bit of a story, but I'll keep it as short as it
needs to be. See, if I were to explain to you the medically accepted reason
for my type of schizoaffective disorder, my brain is wired to pick out
strange coincidences and give meaning to them. Synchronicities they're called.
They feel like glitches in the matrix that spark the feeling of being in
constant communication with some higher power. Because of how real they are, I
can't accept the medical explanation. I've experienced things that are too
weird, too perfect and clearly orchestrated, that there has to be some sort of
conspiracy.
As a result, I've lived most of my adult life being guided by what the
rational part of my mind has to assume is the CIA acting as the hand of God
leading me on a cosmic mission by sending me burning bushes to make sense of.
I know some of that has been pure random white noise my defected brain picked
up, but I have to give credit where credit is due: Vince did a superb job
intentionally using the quirks of my brain to program me, much as the cult did
to me four years prior, but with a much gentler hand and benevolent intention.
I know what all that sounds like, but hear me out. There are too many peculiar
instances of chance for you to listen to everything I have to say and not
believe me, at least just a little bit; enough to make you wonder, I hope.
Let's take the case of finding Peppermint as an example. This story starts
when Vince convinced me to go to a specific thrift store, while I was
initially homeless in my hometown of Syracuse. I eagerly did so, lost in a
slew of synchronicities that convinced me that this was my latest mission.
Well, it turned out that such a store didn't exist but it was where I got a
ten dollar donation from a man who saw me pick up trash, as was part of my
spiritual work while homeless. We talked and the man sent me to another store,
saying that I should use my extra cash to buy what I needed most. After
following his directions up Genesee Street, I got a message from Vince telling
me to look for something out of place; that I was unique and should have
unique things.
I thought I might find some rad tie-dye outfit or something of that ilk, but
while aimlessly searching the aisles of women's clothing, I found a stuffed
dog. It looked lonely, so I picked it up and brought it to the back of the
store, where it looked like the other toys were. I gasped as I pushed through
the row of belts that stood in my way. Clearly, someone had built a little
shrine of stuffed animals around Peppermint!
I knew then that was why I was sent there. Penguins have a special place in my
heart. My mom used to make them out of clay, and an old friend has a healthy
fascination with creating a penguin-themed show for kiddos. It was just too
perfect. Peppermint and I were meant to be, just as Vince and I were. Sitting
down in my bedspace, I looked up at the spook who was my best friend as he
cracked open another Natty Daddy. He poured it into an old Subway cup that he
mixed his kratom with, and looked over at me.
His face lit up upon seeing Peppermint. "Awww, you still have your penguin!
That's so cute."
I'm glad he thought so. I've had plenty of people think I was weird because I
carried it around, which kinda was what I wanted to achieve when I was still
homeless in Syracuse. I felt the CIA wanted me to become famous, for reasons
that will become apparent as I tell you my story, so I was doing as many
insane things as I could so I would be cemented in the memory of the people of
my hometown.
This meant I carried around Peppermint either under my arm or in a cute purse
I eventually got at a different thrift store up at the university. People
notice when you're out wandering the streets with a stuffed animal everyday.
And they especially notice when you talk nonstop to it at all hours of the
day. I'll say this: if you have a fear of speaking in public, then acting like
a crazy person talking to yourself for a few months will set you straight.
Exposure therapy, for the win.
I did a lot of other stunts too, all of which were instructed by the CIA, like
when gang stalkers told me I should lose my shit and yell like mad every time
I was in frame of a news camera, of which there's a regular frequency of
around downtown Syracuse. I did so once in front of a hospital where I would
later find out that they were covering the aftermath of a deadly fire, and for
the next week the news outlet would send someone to the exact same spot on my
route. I sensed shenanigans, so I opted to walk around the camera while the
reporter stood there uneasily because I suspect that she was tasked to find
out if I was really crazy. But, you can tell I am just by that last sentence.
Then there's my performance art I did on Marshall Street. This started as a
juggling act, but soon evolved into asking random people strange questions.
This accelerated fairly rapidly. Letting you know from experience, don't start
going up to strangers and ask them what their opinion of ethical incest is
unless you want the cops called on you. Talked my way out of that, but I would
get banned from the campus of Syracuse University for three years after I
followed the instructions I was receiving from the CIA to a tee, which
resulted in me having a very heated argument with an invisible entity in the
SU library. As you can guess, people tended to avoid me, but that was alright.
I had Peppermint with me and Vince was only a message away.
Now he was mere feet from me. I rejoiced at the fortune I was granted. We were
going to be great together; the first afternoon together seemed to naturally
flow from one joyous moment to the next. I looked at Peppermint. She was
smiling, and so was I. I then looked up at Vince. His smile made me feel warm
and fuzzy inside. But, why, you might be asking? Where do these feelings I
harbored for Vince come from? It's a long story, but by the time I'm done,
you'll know how important Vince is to me and how big of an impact he had on my
life.
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--- #20 notes/secrets-of-the-dsm-v ---
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Well, not really secrets, but I have read the DSM-V and there's a bunch of
(good) stuff written in there, that's not the diagnostic criteria themselves.
Some of those points are things I've seen discussed in autistic communities,
some are less well known. Which is interesting. I'm gonna pick out some
(not all) details that I found very good to know. (I hope this is legal, lol)
Let's start with the diagnostic criteria, but not the content, but something
interesting:
Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across
multiple contexts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history
The same thing about restricted and repetitive patterns. The ICD-11 calls this
'the child must have'. What does this mean? It means you don't have to show
these at the current moment. Masking is recognized, and this becomes even more
clear further on.
There's some stuff about levels, and comorbidities. I want to just quote this
one, because I've seen people be confused:
The severity specifiers (see Table 2) may be used to describe succinctly
the
current symptomatology (which might fall below level 1), with the
recognition that severity may vary by context and fluctuate over time.
Severity of social communication difficulties and restricted, repetitive
behaviors should be separately rated. The descriptive severity categories
should not be used to determine eligibility for and provision of services;
these can only be developed at an individual level and through discussion
of
personal priorities and targets.
Fluctuations (through things like age, burnout, skill regression) are
officially
recognized. Also, they shouldn't determine eligibility for and provision of
services, so whoever goes with 'level 1 means its mild, so they need no
support'
is just straight up not following medical advice. Looking at specific
governments there.
The levels themselves are pretty self-explanatory, and most of the content is
well known. However, this one part stood out to me, this is describing level 1
restricted and repetitive behaviors.
Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning
in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems
of organization and planning hamper independence.
I see this type of executive functioning discussed so rarely, and there it is -
as a very specific support need for level 1. Basically, the DSM-V is telling
professionals there's issues with it, and these issues may require official,
life-long (but not daily) supports ... for the 'mild autism'.
Let's pick some quotes out of the official, accompanying text. Most of the
stuff
is well-known, like 'is present from early childhood'.
Core diagnostic features are evident in the developmental period, but
intervention, compensation, and current supports may mask difficulties in
at
least some contexts.
Masking, there's the word.
About criteria A:
[...] Adults who have developed compensation strategies for some social
challenges still struggle in novel or unsupported situations and suffer
from
the effort and anxiety of consciously calculating what is socially
intuitive
for most individuals.
Not new, but again, there's the word compensation.
About criteria B:
Many adults with autism spectrum disorder without intellectual or language
disabilities learn to suppress repetitive behavior in public. Special
interests may be a source of pleasure and motivation and provide avenues
for
education and employment later in life. Diagnostic criteria may be met when
restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities were
clearly present during childhood or at some time in the past, even if
symptoms are no longer present.
Describes masking again, and, you read that right, you don't have to show a
single criterion for B in adulthood for a diagnosis. This is why I put
emphasis
on by history. For people doing self-diagnosis, doubting themselves etc., I
think this is a very important point.
Adolescents and adults with autism spectrum disorder are prone to anxiety
and depression. Some individuals develop catatonic-like motor behavior
(slowing and "freezing" mid-action), but these are typically not of the
magnitude of a catatonic episode. However [full catatonia is also possible]
Ever seen this discussed? I haven't. But I do experience this, sometimes.
Autism spectrum disorder is not a degenerative disorder, and it is typical
for learning and compensation to continue throughout life. Symptoms are
often most marked in early childhood and early school years, with
developmental gains typical in later childhood in at least some areas
(e.g.,
increased interest in social interaction). A small proportion of
individuals
deteriorate behaviorally during adolescence, whereas most others improve.
Only a minority of individuals with autism spectrum disorder live and work
independently in adulthood; those who do tend to have superior language
and
intellectual abilities and are able to find a niche that matches their
special interests and skills. In general, individuals with lower levels of
impairment may be better able to function independently. However, even
these
individuals may remain socially naive and vulnerable, have difficulties
organizing practical demands without aid, and are prone to anxiety and
depression. Many adults report using compensation strategies and coping
mechanisms to mask their difficulties in public but suffer from the stress
and effort of maintaining a socially acceptable facade. Scarcely anything
is
known about old age in autism spectrum disorder.
Such a nice paragraph. Increased interest in social interaction (meaning,
having
interest doesn't rule out autism, looking at some specific psychologists I
read
about here). Skill regression is unfortunately a thing sometimes (good to know
though). Also known and unfortunate is that the best way to work is to make
your
special interest into work. Obviously that doesn't work for everyone (not for
me, so far), so there's these marked difficulties.
Organization issues without aid, again!
And masking - again. Including the costs of it. Very important.
Some individuals come for first diagnosis in adulthood, perhaps prompted
by
the diagnosis of autism in a child in the family or a breakdown of
relations
at work or home. Obtaining detailed developmental history in such cases
may
be difficult, and it is important to consider self-reported difficulties.
Yeah, self-reporting is necessary and valid. A behavioural test
(like the ADOS-2) is not enough to rule out autism.
Cultural differences will exist in norms for social interaction, nonverbal
communication, and relationships, but individuals with autism spectrum
disorder are markedly impaired against the norms for their cultural
context.
Cultural and socioeconomic factors may affect age at recognition or
diagnosis; for example, in the United States, late or underdiagnosis of
autism spectrum disorder among African American children may occur.
Autism spectrum disorder is diagnosed four times more often in males than
in
females. In clinic samples, females tend to be more likely to show
accompanying intellectual disability, suggesting that girls without
accompanying intellectual impairments or language delays may go
unrecognized, perhaps because of subtler manifestation of social and
communication difficulties.
Those issues are pretty well-known in the autistic community, nice to see it's
in the DSM too.
So yeah, there's a bunch more stuff in it about comorbidities, about the
diagnostic process in children, about how specifically things are impaired.
But
I wanted to share these points, because I've seen some people (weirdly enough,
often officially diagnosed gatekeepers) be very unclear about these points. And
some of those are just interesting to know. I hope you find it too - for me, it
means the people writing the DSM-V were quite good, and quite aware of
problems
(afaik they got actually autistic people helping them). So, neither dismiss it
outright, nor take only the diagnostic criteria in themselves literally, and
miss some key details.
Now I just need to figure out why this was a thing in the ICD-10 about
Aspergers:
Psychotic episodes occasionally occur in early adult life.
??? Is this significant?
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--- #21 fediverse/1983 ---
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@user-1037
I guess I'm saying that for non-standard functions (most of them) they should
need to make a ticket every time they want to run a function call. Perhaps
only in debug mode...
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--- #22 messages/814 ---
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[Image: 20250411_160353.jpg]
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--- #23 fediverse/4851 ---
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--- #24 messages/1020 ---
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[Image: 20251001_213350.jpg]
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--- #25 fediverse/5875 ---
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║ │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention │
║ however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's │
║ why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes) │
║ │
║ -- stack overflow -- │
║ │
║ don't teach me how your way works │
║ │
║ tell me how to do my way right │
║ │
║ -- stack overflow -- │
║ │
║ "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with │
║ tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear? │
║ you can have any profits I make from it" │
║ │
║ "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget │
║ for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the │
║ expenditure." │
║ │
║ "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your] │
║ biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these │
║ climates" │
║ │
║ suddenly manufacturing can follow demand │
║ │
║ "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat │
║ its abt │
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--- #26 fediverse/5046 ---
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│ CW: totally-unfounded-feelings-I-get-when-I-say-something-to-the-audience-of-crickets │
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"everyone hates me and I'm not okay about it" a story in 31 parts
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--- #27 notes/wow-chat-biomes ---
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there should be biomes in wowchat - like, paint on a map where the oozes can
go, and it'll spawn a random ooze for ya.
next find the ones that are wildlife, and paint a zone where wildlife creatures
can spawn. make sure they're initially friendly but will attack if you do.
then give +reputation to the wolves if you fight monsters besides them
and +reputation to the cats if you fight undead
this is easily implementable.
all you have to do is walk around, find the rough general border points with
your character at 5x speed, and then type them into a text file.
it's not like Azeroth changed.
then, ideally, make small dense zones which travel and cause their monsters
to either spawn at a point or move toward a point.
then let the "flock" travel as it pleased, traversing the
map-painted-lua-script
-ed-monster-delivery-system-I-wield
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--- #28 messages/848 ---
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[Image: Screenshot_20250414-130535_Firefox.jpg]
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--- #29 fediverse/1188 ---
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boys 😍
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--- #34 fediverse/685 ---
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@user-509
Layoffs are a great opportunity for a bunch of people who worked with the same
tech stack to sit down and think "What could we make together?"
Sure would be nice if there was a group or organization that pre-emptively
reached out to them and said "hey, we're holding a meeting in relation to the
layoffs they did to you. Would you like to attend? If so, think of some cool
or unique parts of your job, and we'll break into groups and discuss things we
could do with those cool or unique things."
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--- #35 fediverse/4631 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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"I swear this queso fundido wasn't green when I bought it four hours ago"
eh I'm still hungry, hope I'm okay tomorrow
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--- #36 fediverse/1311 ---
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take care of your trans brothers and sisters
we're pretty badass but like 90% of us are traumatized and that sucks. BUT
we're good in a pinch and about 66% of us know how to fight, which is pretty
cool I guess.
... I'm also describing catgirls, aren't I
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--- #37 fediverse/1700 ---
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│ CW: guns-mentioned │
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In World of Warcraft, the world is split into a red team and a blue team.
Neither is good, neither is bad, both are honorable and deplorable in roughly
equal measure.
These two factions are engaged in constant skirmishes in a select few
battlegrounds designated as areas where they test their mettle - at first they
warred across the globe, and they still occasionally do, but a few specific
battlegrounds emerged as focus points of their engagements.
Typically, they are chokepoints between two major fortifications, one owned by
one faction and the other the other.
These chokepoints are not held permanently, as they hold little strategic
consequence. However, they serve as safe, constrained theatres of engagement
that allow for the hardening of resolve.
Great care must be taken, as war is not a game. Karate won't defeat a
puppy-bot with a gun, but it might give you the willpower and discipline to
learn how.
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--- #39 messages/986 ---
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adult diapers without boosters feel insufficient. Like they're unable to be
swelled. I trust thickness more than body shape. But, they work, so that's
good for now. I just prefer boosters.
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--- #40 messages/584 ---
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Crucially, which implied a constant, reliable profit of 20%.
Farmers could live like kings, so long as they only tended to themselves.
We don't have to conglomerate, but it helps when we do.
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--- #41 fediverse/5918 ---
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│ CW: re: Question about clothing │
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@user-1074
pick the size that'll fit on your hips, then pick materials that are stretchy
(but won't make you sweat)
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--- #42 messages/902 ---
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Dear queer people in general:
If you want to have community, have dinner parties with 10+ people. Then, when
you make friends, have hiking groups or D&D sessions or pub crawls. But
never stop going to the dinner parties, because all you can do is get to know
one another. I like hanging out at Workers Tap...
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--- #43 messages/617 ---
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We all knew capitalism was the Titanic headed for the iceberg. Did you know
the Titanic might have survived if they had reversed one propellor and turned
the other to max? But they didn't. They thought they could coast by.
It was larger underneath the water.
Capitalism would have destroyed us. We couldn't dismantle capitalism with
Kamala. This *had to happen*, and even if you don't believe that then trust
that we are where the fascists say we are. And we will fight back.
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--- #44 fediverse/2193 ---
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@user-928 @user-1013
Right, like, if you didn't make friends at BLM then how are you going to know
when and where the right time and place is to be to protest effectively?
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--- #45 fediverse_boost/4121 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════──────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ @user-1474 │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #46 fediverse/2017 ---
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@user-1129
Lemme guess, the C-suite executives have profit as their main goal, right?
And they utilize their laboring force of citizens to generate profit which is
given to the crown shareholders as tribute for their benevolent grace and
favor bestowed upon checks notes the C-suite executives, right?
Kinda sounds like taxation without representation to me. One sec, where's my
darn musket I'm always leaving it somewhere strange like under the couch
cushions or taped underneath my desk or hidden in the curtains right next to
the window that has the best vantage point of the surrounding street.
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--- #47 fediverse/3310 ---
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I build myself up on my own.
I spend myself on work.
To move forward, we must go back
("to monke?") no to babe ("or to pile-of-rocks") yeah sometimes my spirit
animal is a boulder
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--- #48 messages/3 ---
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--- #49 messages/847 ---
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[Image: Screenshot_20250414-130521_Firefox.jpg]
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--- #50 fediverse/714 ---
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@user-538
I'd offer that meticulous, uncompromising ethics is the only efficient,
sensible, and optimized method of operation (assuming maximum prosperity at
maximum distribution is a goal).
True, as long as the axioms that comprise the ethics are valid and the
supporting arguments are sound
EDIT: cut out the bits that I'm not an expert on
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--- #51 fediverse/3306 ---
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"I don't have time for Ritz"
same honestly
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--- #52 fediverse/5762 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm │
║ kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling │
║ confident I enjoy walking on the street. │
║ │
║ I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a │
║ swing at the anti-black. │
║ │
║ oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you │
║ need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with │
║ [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get │
║ redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our │
║ problems. │
║ │
║ "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless." │
║ │
║ haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T │
║ │
║ "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?" │
║ │
║ yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed. │
║ │
║ Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing │
║ mentioned, fuck slavers │
╟─────────┐┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological│different │
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--- #53 fediverse/3852 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: socialism-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
React with vigor when the time comes. This vigor will only be violent if it is
caused by violence. Much more likely is a strength through organization. We
can do it if we do it together!Show up every day, but don't hang around if
everyone's resting at home. It's okay to stop showing up if things are on
pause.Trust that your allies are working. Or resting. Or preparing.Plans
change, planning remains.Dream of a better future. It is within reach.
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--- #54 fediverse/3857 ---
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--- #55 fediverse/1301 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: food-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
@user-932
eeeeep if my pickle had a face I would slice it into bits and throw it to the
ducks. They probably wouldn't like the smell but it's the thought that counts.
And yes I would hear the screams of the pickle and I would cackle because
that's JUST WHAT AN OLD-STYLE WITCH DOES EEEEHEHEHEHEHE
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--- #56 fediverse/6448 ---
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hit the broad side of your foe and they'll never know
(guy from nausicaa, highest kill count in [his world/the movie])
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--- #57 fediverse/5637 ---
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a program's heartbeat is the alternating "heated up processor" spikes and the
"low temp processor"
[drawing a sine wave with such a tool would enable the viewer to combine
infinitely many decision-matrix-trees. Each of which
co-operatively-co-determine the nature of the entity which percieves. indeed
the combination of many such waves could fourier transform to a lower
resolution (but still locally computationorted) waveform would still enable
the application of that which is stored in storage]
"ohhhhh strange square brackets are computer"
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--- #58 fediverse/1135 ---
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@user-835
neat, those both sound like useful pursuits. but you said only one of them is
compensated, which seems unfortunate to me because it forces you to split your
attention between them.
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--- #59 fediverse/1554 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-socialism-fediverse-commune-transgirls-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
do you ever think about how a fediverse instance is basically a socialist
commune where the only needs that are met are our needs for community and
acceptance?
kinda makes me wonder if we could use it to meet other needs too, like if
everyone had an alt account in an instance run by their city / state
maybe with some extra mechanical tools that helped distribute goods and
services without explicitly relying on the exchange of currency.
or perhaps with, depending on what the instance wanted.
... that being said, such a localized instance would not be as good at
building community. What's the meme about the 3 transgirls in the 3 different
time zones?
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--- #60 fediverse/1117 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: guns-mentioned-violence-pacific-rim-mecha-movie │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-521
perhaps we as humans needed to face them not just physically, but spiritually
as well. Hence the focus on willpower and fighting prowess.
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--- #61 fediverse/2453 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: violence │
└──────────────────────┘
if you ride a bike often, master the front kick.
most hand-to-hand combat is resolved with a grapple and a knife in the ribs. A
front kick is designed not for impact, but rather to push your opponent away,
out of arm's reach, giving you a chance to escape.
I'm going to shower and sleep. Goodnight.
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--- #62 fediverse/4826 ---
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the fact that linux software by default shares libraries causes 90% of the
difficulty that new and medium skill users of linux face.
disk space is cheap. spend more on hard drives and double the software size.
make redundancy that prevents software failures but doesn't slow down the
machine.
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--- #63 fediverse/4711 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────┘
🖼
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--- #64 messages/577 ---
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Hiring managers don't want to hire the best employees, they want to hire the
candidates who will make their job easier.
So it goes for 90% of capitalism. Everyone just wants less stress in their
life.
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--- #65 messages/804 ---
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[Image: 20250411_160136.jpg]
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--- #66 fediverse/1288 ---
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nintendo should hire people to install emulated versions of their game on
their hardware
and they should pay Dolphin devs
no other company would
but Nintendo might
let them do what they want, and if another group forms pay them too. We
appreciate that kind of thing. It's a preservation of our cultural history,
for a child knows not of antiquity.
I am 29. I grew up with the Nintendo64 and Gameboy Advance. These games are
precious to me.
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--- #67 fediverse/5609 ---
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"I only clean my body when it gets dirty. Which is why I brush my teeth after
every meal."
- said the girl who brushes her teeth more than me
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--- #68 fediverse/2407 ---
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the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
"no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
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--- #69 fediverse/2126 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ There was this great game growing up called Neverwinter Nights 2 - I never │
║ really played it, but it was renowned for it's map-editor functionality. You │
║ could join a person's "game", when really they were in the editor window, and │
║ they could BUILD THE GAME RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. It was like, computer skill │
║ performance gameplay improv. It was beautiful. │
║ │
║ I did, however, play a Warcraft 3 mod with all the same ideas. Except, it was │
║ ONLY IN RAM. YOU COULD NOT SAVE. │
║ │
║ so it was a lot simpler, and O M G it was the coolest thing ever. │
║ │
║ I played it like, twice though. Nobody ever hosted it, nobody ever showed me │
║ how. │
║ │
║ I tried to play it single-player, but I couldn't understand the mechanics. Not │
║ simple enough for me, I guess. │
║ │
║ I couldn't help but think how many cool games a person could make if they │
║ could do that with the Warcraft 3 editor itself. │
║ │
║ Because I did work with that, a lot, which was NOT in RAM, but instead stored │
║ to the hard drive. │
║ │
║ Hard drives which I've since lost, of course, but drop me in and I know ho │
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--- #70 fediverse/4730 ---
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I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
fucking pay me for it.
I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
life lived under this particular roof?
I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
you uncomfortable?
Have a decent life.
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--- #71 fediverse/5227 ---
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║ why the heck would partners need each other for anything │
║ │
║ if you a ren't instable on your own, then it'll cause harm if your partner │
║ leaves you. which technically qualifies as abuse, so you should assert efforts │
║ to disengage that hold you have on them by workong on your long struggles and │
║ love struggles and longing struggles so that they can make moves of their own │
║ and you can orbit each other in life. │
║ │
║ IT SHOULD BE NORMAL TO LIVE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. The more space the │
║ better, but still with nothing inbetween. │
║ │
║ yeah, sure, let's build more houses. │
║ │
║ why don't we build habitat around them? it'd cut down on the necessary space │
║ required if places which were natural but not really all that sacred were │
║ converted into mixed-species homing grounds │
║ │
║ ... don't humans leave like, trash on the street once a week? sounds like a │
║ bad idea if you got pandas and raccoons rifling through each other's baggage. │
║ │
║ there are people who have been fighting bosses their whole lives. I personally │
║ play a Paladin, though also a wit │
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--- #72 messages/514 ---
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Paying your employees more *makes them better workers*.
An extra 2$ per hour might mean they can eat out an extra night, they might be
able to afford a car, and they might be able to focus just a bit more without
crying in their sleep about an unexpected bill.
With less stress, employees perform better. They are more loyal. They work
harder.
Pay your employees more. They are your greatest resource.
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--- #73 fediverse/5044 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: content-warning-food-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
the agricultural corporations of America decided there was an acceptable
number of domestic child starvation and priced their goods accordingly.
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--- #74 fediverse/463 ---
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--- #75 fediverse/4479 ---
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@user-1268
window managing and desktop managing can be separate, but typically a desktop
implies windows so they're often bundled together.
I use DWM on my desktop and i3 on my laptops, and they're both just window
managers. Specifically "tiling" window managers, and they don't have desktops.
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--- #76 messages/30 ---
═══────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
We orbit one another and thus, create movement. That movement was life. All
caused by the fluctuations evoked by the moon's gravity well. [aka the tides]
- They affect other dimensions as well, in particular the CONSCIOUSNESS
dimension. And that created ripples over time, that led to tides, and
repetitive fluctuations of movement - like a sine wave. This created motion,
and the truly chaotic parts developed life, because they essentially did
fusion with consciousness atoms. I think the nuclear weak force is a lot
weaker
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--- #77 fediverse/6433 ---
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if you start free associating, you'll never know what you'll find. which is
why it's strictly encouraged in confession box, only for god and his hapless
minister.
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--- #78 fediverse/2356 ---
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║ @user-1242 │
║ │
║ I was born in the desert of New Mexico. My earliest memories are of cherry │
║ trees, chocolate, and blood. │
║ │
║ I lived my childhood in Wyoming, on a small farm. I had legos, I had wooden │
║ swords, I could run and climb and jump and think and dream. I cried over math │
║ homework and I watched plants grow. I read every book in the library, well, at │
║ least all the good ones. │
║ │
║ I lived my teen years in Colorado, in a suburb of the Mile High City. The │
║ first essay I ever wrote was a defence of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, two │
║ communist spies who helped the Soviets keep American nuclear power in check. │
║ They were executed. │
║ │
║ My first friend was like a sister to me. │
║ │
║ The strongest community I've ever felt was my theatre class in high school. I │
║ loved each and every person there. We laughed, we played, we sang, we... grew │
║ up. And I never saw them again. │
║ │
║ I dropped out of university four times, and I'm currently working on my fifth. │
║ My father told me to keep trying, but homework was never my strong suit. I'm a │
║ sprinter at heart │
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║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #79 fediverse/1956 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"The pasta is 10$ for the labor and 3$ for the ingredients. For each 3$ you
pay we'll double the amount of noodles and sauce but every 4 increases we add
another 10$ because that's how big our pots and pans are."
"The burritos are 14$ each, because there's not really an opportunity to
double-up on labor per food unit outputted"
"This movie is free, because it costs one hundredth of a penny every time
someone downloads it. It was fully funded before being produced."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 notes/cameron-king-resume-programmer-analyst ---
═════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
Cameron King cameronking@protonmail.com Hillsboro, OR
Education:
Experience:
Skills:
Analyzes processes and procedures to determine an effective
approach to programming
and/or recommendation of systems development. Tasks are generally divided to
approximately 50% analysis and 50% programming.
Applies principles of current Information Systems design methodologies.
Prototypes the application and associated business processes.
Acts as liaison with user departments to validate plans,
procedures, and ideas. Creates
opportunities to partner with and add value to individual departments as they
accomplish
their missions.
Tests and modifies applications and programs.
Executes and analyzes utility programs in the development and/or
maintenance of
application systems and software.
Facilitates data and data management between equipment platforms.
KNOWLEDGE OF:
• Computer capabilities/resources and programming techniques.
• Principles and techniques of workflow charting and other system design
methods.
SKILL IN:
• Client/server and networked systems design and development.
ABILITY TO:
• Analyze procedural operations and to organize their component parts into a
logical
system.
• Analyze and integrate external systems and procedures.
• Write machine instructions in programming languages currently used by
Yamhill County.
• Establish and maintain effective working relationships with co-workers,
supervisors, and
user departments.
• Attend work as scheduled and/or required.
MINIMUM EXPERIENCE AND TRAINING:
A high school diploma or GED and three to ten years’ experience in
developing and maintaining
computer application programs and/or three to ten years’ experience
in appropriate computer
languages and successful completion of related training; or any
satisfactory combination of
experience and education which ensures ability to perform the work required.
OTHER REQUIREMENTS:
Ability to secure and maintain a driver’s license valid in the state of
Oregon, or an acceptable
alternative means of transportation.
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--- #81 messages/260 ---
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Also, if they delete it we should be entitled to a copy of it so we can post
it elsewhere. Otherwise they're destroying our content, which they orient
their business around and which we own.
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--- #82 fediverse/5532 ---
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│ CW: interpersonal-conflict-musings │
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Sometimes people convince themselves that they are a just and honest person,
when they actually aren't.
Usually how this works is that they live their life as normal, and when their
desires conflict with another persons, they'll relent and agree with the other
person without voicing their concerns.
Then, when it's time for the other 50% of the time when they get what THEY
want, they become stubborn and willful and resentful if they are contested.
It's always a struggle. It's always a battle. Why can't we just all get along?
Oh yeah, because some people don't tell you when they disagree.
Liars.
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the most successful strategy is always to strike from a position of strength.
whether that be timing or power, the goal is to defeat the problem that lies
before you. One by one, problems are solved, until at last you're through the
worst of it. Then it's just a matter of expressing dominance, and "this is how
thing's're gonna be."
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point is, you should take good companies at their word and bad companies for
their goals.
Surely, you can't blame the organism for seeking food. So clearly you can't
blame an organization built to pursue profit to pursue profit. Maybe we should
cut-out the middle-man and use efficiency evaluation methods defined by our
common understanding of ethics and virtues instead of currency to determine
the relative importance of continual investment in particular structural
capabilities that companies provide to a nation.
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--- #85 fediverse/2426 ---
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live in the homes of those you agree with to make a difference.
pay rent, so that their goals may be furthered through your wage. the more you
pay, the further they can go toward your shared goals.
if what you do doesn't pay well, then as long as your goals are similar and
you're applying yourself then they might not mind you living there.
take care of your space, because every day that you do your roommates dishes
is another day they can be working toward your shared goals.
talk to them, learn how they're doing what they do, and decide for yourself
who you'd like to most contribute to.
the more friend groups you have, the more people you can connect to people who
need to know things. people who can fix things. people who got your back.
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[Image: 20250411_160344.jpg]
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--- #87 notes/i-called-the-police ---
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/u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
built
up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my
wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
police
to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is
violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why
spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and
I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop
the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
Compassionate
Violence.
I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
I'm
freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the
wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can
horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought
into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
same
place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag,
and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
gun
at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
unafraid
of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I
walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
this
shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give
him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a
legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I
might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
three
knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
intensity...😔😔😔
I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
him.
I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship
went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions
like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
measure
against doing something irrevocably out of character.
Ugh... damnit fuck
I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them
and I'm grateful for that.
My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially
because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a
position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying
to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
really
couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy
perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say
that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process
out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My
immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
takeaway
is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an
interesting idea about perspective...
A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those
thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
lol.
Lol
I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially,
actually useful and beneficial implications.
I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the
universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped
medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
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/r/randomevenings:
I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a
very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a
friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level
of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
have
a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being
directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's
not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your
many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I
was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and
technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that
score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
either
because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
me
which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where
you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never
want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
my
pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
most
watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
about
taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
me
one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home
and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they
wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
I
started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but
defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
ability
because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the
block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my
place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know
and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so
happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he
confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
hands
anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
they
were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
I
can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again
because you sorely need it.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such
ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was
scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
shit.
And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big
handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
them in...
He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the
people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
you
through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
/u/[deleted]
Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was
jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
twisted
shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
ever
seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
their
sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
on my
watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I
don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
face]
I support that!
Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd
levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit
this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
new
bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
Gon
cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
try
it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
fun with
that though 😈
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/u/randomevenings
People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness
from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and
other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made
whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
ask
people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the
semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
ragging
on your friends and swatting a COD player.
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
it's
not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
fucked.
But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
accidental too.
I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really
achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
/u/randomevenings
Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a
completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My
brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are
assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go
into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
involved
in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he
has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
and
they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so
y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already
gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
wife
we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
relationship
with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over
there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
to
go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
a
lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody
goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
to shut it down just lay off her phone.
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[author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won ]
/u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
Proud of you!
/u/mustherd
Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just
chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
I'm
kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
have
cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
here
you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
me
online, God gets me online 🙃
I am we, Todd
/u/ricflairdic
Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a
catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard,
Dont Tell me, Just nod,
Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin
bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return
that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an
ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
If
I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once
mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
so who's the pretender?
Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our
slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
How
long u think it will take me To find your spot?
Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk
if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
And I need a partner.
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│ CW: poem-about-roller-coasters │
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when riding a roller coaster, as the train crests the first hill, the first
cars near the front will peak over the edge, ready for the coming thrill.
at the back, it feels like you're climbing, 'till suddenly you're not, and it
whips you around flying! Straight over the curve, the world is flashing right
past you, and down around around you'll go faster.
My mom always said the back is more fun because of how fast you go. I tend to
believe her, but there's something special about the front as well -
especially the very front! That part is neat because you can see all the
scenery completely.
But only one car's in front, so it's quite a coveted position. Lucky for us,
the line's not too long! Good thing they built enough rides to carry us all
along.
what's that you say, there's capitalism at play? and they only had room for
those who could pay on this day? how rude!
well, maybe they'll build more tomorrow.
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│ CW: re: Optimism │
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@user-1074
You're right about your conclusion, but I'd like to point out that he already
(sorta) did when he sent federal agents to "help out" during the Portland BLM
protests. There were national guard on the streets of Philly after the first
weekend.
Which I'm sure you know of course, but I think having seen what happens the
military will be more likely to resist. They got their hands full. They don't
want to have to deal with his bullshit, but I do believe they are ready to if
they need to.
They protect the constitution, the people, and the land. If we do not harm
those things, we're (probably) clear from their sights.
At this stage, I advocate against "broken window" riots. I'm also mostly
against protests, because it's clear that nobody with power is listening. I do
however believe in the radicalizing potential of mass civil movements and the
energy that physical presence can bring, which I believe in MARCHES and
PARADES more than protests and riots.
We need those windows too...
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alright I'm in a "if you want me, come tell me" kind of mood, so if you want
me, come tell me.
in the meantime, I'm going to be working on making silly little desktop games
which do nothing and mean nothing and are not useful or valuable in any way.
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--- #91 fediverse/1716 ---
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if a game presents itself that you know you'll like, at a certain point your
tastes are so refined and specific that you can think to yourself "... it's a
sign, I gotta play this" because moments that you find a game you're really
"into" are pretty rare.
I've never been wowed by graphical technology beyond, like, a tech demo or.
It's cool to see, but it never sold games to me. I was always into mechanics,
because they were the kind of thing you could learn from when making your own
games to play.
I spent a lot of time outside because my mom would only let me use electronics
for 1 hour per day. Ahhhhh it was always my favorite part of the day.
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--- #92 fediverse/6414 ---
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--- #93 notes/princess-simulator ---
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screenshot of the alt-text input field which has more characters available
because the visual processing field (aka horses on treadmills) are helpingable
too if you train them to do something besides horsing
hero of the kingdom style strategy game with LoS for the units (scroll
out-table
like Supreme Commander) in lua tables that combine themselves or are organized
in a tree-like structure a'la frames
then there's a picture of some source code I wrote. it's a C program, and it
defines a datastructure comprised of two bits each, and stackable into an
array with associated modifier functions. the purpose of the structure is to
represent compass-points (one byte (aka "word" in assembly) can store four of
four directions. one frame holds "left, right, near or away" as possible
values, and there are four frames in a byte (aka "word" in assembly).
aka, a princess simulator, with actors performing the distant tasks in a way
that corresponds to the nature of what's going on beyond them in a compass
orientation composed fourier-transform combination style
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--- #94 messages/982 ---
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if you want a government to be unable to harm it's citizens, you must deprive
it of the power to do so. or rather, have the main capabilities in the hands
of the citizenry.
can you imagine if soldiers had to prove themselves to civilians in order to
be trusted with mechano-chinery?
who would ever choose the non-valorous and determinable?
instilling the culture of greatness
within the archetypes and character structures that we believed were confisight
bold and determined and measured and freely detectable
who would slay the brave paladin? none but the fools, who shared in their lack
of conviction.
determined? ha, I am as you see me. Come and claim me, that I might determine
you some more.
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--- #95 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #96 fediverse/1675 ---
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I always thought of my father as a cowboy. which I think very few people do.
he always came across as more of a business type, but, well, I know his true
soul.
#dollposting
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--- #97 fediverse/3754 ---
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@user-1071
You know, that makes sense! Finance plus signing things. Their operations are
probably more... paper based and contractual than programmatic.
When I think of devops I think of my time spent as a contractor for a large
tech company...
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--- #98 messages/718 ---
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[Image: 20250118_010336.jpg]
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--- #99 fediverse/1681 ---
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@user-1061
Oh, it just refreshes the page. At least, that's what it's supposed to do.
Here's the code:Refresh Page (click me every time you visit)
Honestly I'm only 90% sure it actually works. I mostly put it there for people
on mobile sites who wanted to be absolutely sure there wasn't anything new,
because Neocities sometimes uses a cached version on your local machine and
when I'm busy updating things sometimes people can be like "omg dead links?
this suxxx" and then tab away and never come back which is... fine I guess
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--- #100 fediverse/1711 ---
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@user-246
Maybe a design that put weight on the sternum instead of the breast area? With
more support for the waist, like hiking backpacks sometimes do. That way you
can spread out the physical cost of toiling to carry it, like wearing a belt
with a chain shirt to distribute the pounds.
seriously just, arm straps that meet in the middle instead of the shoulders.
Probably won't be as good but it might be better. Could do under the boobs as
well, for like a triple attachment point.
You can sorta simulate this by clipping the two straps together and pulling
them to the center, but not all backpacks support that.
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--- #101 fediverse_boost/3391 ---
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@user-883
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/html-pages/terra-voida-2
I might have heard of that speech before ; )
EDIT: this is from my website, try not to pay attention to all the
kooky-dookerie on the left side
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--- #103 fediverse/4019 ---
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│ CW: economics-corporations-mentioned-slavery-mentioned-politics-voting-mentione │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
corporations are not people.
corporations are organizations.
they should be treated like city-states.
or fellow sovereign nations (patroned, of course, by their mother's
installation)
they have their own culture
their own societal platform to stand on
and they deserve equal representation in exchange for taxation (why is
corporate america the part that's most paid for? why not those who work for
the profit, the ones who labour day in and day out)
they should have rules, like laws, that they vote on and decide democratically
to deprive them of that is tantamount to wage-slavery, which is clearly
illegal because in this timeline Abraham Lincoln had a time machine and
travelled to the future where he learned that despite his best efforts,
slavery did not die. It merely evolved to fit a new form.
... then he died, and ten thousand years later they're arguing over whether or
not the coffee maker needed to move left half an inch
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--- #104 fediverse/64 ---
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As soon as Order 66 went into effect, suddenly the Confederacy became the
galactic good guys. Who would you rather win the clone wars? Some bastard
capitalists or a literal sith lord?
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--- #105 fediverse/1576 ---
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people be like "I don't want you to solve my problems" but, like, that's
literally all I do. solve problems. problem solve. it's my default operation
methodology.
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--- #106 fediverse/2997 ---
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multiplayer matchmaking where every time you "join queue" you instead "host a
room" and it matches rooms together, not players. That way players always feel
like they're being joined, not that they're joining.
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--- #107 fediverse_boost/4433 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ i feel like everyone freaking out is making it feel like you should be freaking out and like. i do not hold freaking out against anyone. but you don't have to freak out │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #108 messages/347 ---
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So, an individual in Australia purchases a widget on Amazon, which is
manufactured in Ohio and shipped internationally in California. The Australian
bloke (can I say bloke here? is that okay?) spends their cash which is then
taken by the American government. Then, the widget is produced in Ohio and
shipped to a warehouse somewhere before being sent to California where it will
be brought on a boat to Australia. This trip involves three stops, Ohio,
California, and Australia. However, as the product was bought on Amazon, which
is a service, there is another entity in the arrangement which is the state in
which Amazon is located - let's say it's in California as well. So, Ohio is
compensated for the production and storage, California is compensated for the
Amazon facilities and the shipment abroad, and Australia is given a widget in
exchange for dollars (which are then disposed of, as they are not a true
currency once internal but rather a form of debt that are sent abroad, to be
redeemed at a later date.
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--- #109 fediverse/1525 ---
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│ CW: unfounded │
└──────────────────────┘
they had to mark it unfounded, because otherwise they would get in trouble if
they were wrong
they only stock the competitors products that taste worst than the product of
the company they want to divert money to. c
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--- #110 fediverse/1893 ---
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@user-1056
heh probably, though for this specific instance my Ollama server wasn't
running and I had already killed my Stable Diffusion server after utterly
failing to produce anything useful... alas, a girl can dream of having a robot
familiar, but not today I guess.
Not if they keep hiding GPU usage from me >: (
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--- #111 fediverse/128 ---
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@user-95 I'm not sure, but I once tried to design an algorithm that predicted
prime numbers. I made this algorithm in my pursuit, but I couldn't figure out
how to utilize it:
https://www.desmos.com/calculator/h8oopoctnh
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--- #112 fediverse/2438 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: pol │
└──────────────────────┘
these are the plans you should be making as you sit around a table discussing
what you want the future to look like.
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--- #113 messages/276 ---
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Boys be like "dang that's rough buddy" when all you want is for someone to
solve your problems
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--- #114 messages/1222 ---
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when they come for you, simply buy enough time for your allies to
overcome-intervene. This is the truth of all conflict.
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--- #115 messages/768 ---
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when the meek are the bold
and your loyalty's sold
then your masters should fold
or their hearts are full of cold
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--- #116 fediverse/3843 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: socialism-mentioned-property-idk │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ suburban socialist future: │
║ │
║ need groceries? walk down the street until you find a car, then drive it to │
║ the store. There's room for like, 10 cars there because the rest of the space │
║ has been taken up by market stands. Inside the stores themselves are mostly │
║ storage but you can walk through them if it's raining. When you need to go │
║ home, take a different car and leave it in your driveway. │
║ │
║ going on a trip? walk around until you find the right kind (a truck for │
║ camping, for example, or a gas car for interstate travel) then put it in your │
║ garage and close the door. That way you can reliably have it in the morning. │
║ │
║ why do we own cars? when they were scarce, people coveted them. They were │
║ status symbols. But... people are people, who cares about what objects they │
║ surround themselves with? │
║ │
║ "but Ritz I really like my car" - okay then spend your garage on it. I think │
║ most people would rather have a place in the shade where they can spend time │
║ with their neighbors, but what do I know. │
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--- #117 fediverse/5678 ---
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there use to be this cute half life 2 mod called I think Zombie Master? maybe?
anyway one of the players was a "zombie master" and the others were characters
who ran around and tried not to get their brains eaten. It was pretty fun
because the zombie master, of who there could only be one but who I think
could have been a split role if they did it right, would click on parts of the
map and zoom around invisibly and be like "ah yes I want to spawn 6 regular
zombies in this choke-point so they have to painstakingly shoot them while the
scary ones come from behind" or "hooray they're trapped in the closet just
like I expected now I can turn on the buzz saws" or "the poisonous gas was lit
aflame and now they can't see which way the flare is and got turned around in
the confusion, ah oh well war is hell might as well just walk over that way"
... hang on what was I saying? Oh yes, I think it's silly that they don't make
"game frameworks" like the Warcraft 3 editor or the source SDK. Human
creativity is unbridled
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--- #118 fediverse/522 ---
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@user-353 @user-370 @user-366 @user-246 @user-367
Some things I lived through, some things I lived through a retelling of, and
some things I sought out recollections of and incorporated into my knowledge
banks such that I might more adequately and efficiently approach future
situations.
... am I a computer or just autistic? /shrug
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--- #119 fediverse_boost/6216 ---
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--- #120 fediverse/2311 ---
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I don't like it when people say "For Ritz" - don't do it for me, do it for
you! Weirdos. Cuties.
"nobody says that about you"
well duh, not yet. I'm still alive.
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--- #121 fediverse/5709 ---
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you can usually blow an insect off of you easier with a breath than with a
slap or a slam.
only truly evil foes like mosquitos deserve such a fate.
don't try it against spiders, because their fangs are naturally pointed down
but blowing is better
they won't suffer any harm
also it's often easier because the bugs don't cooperate when you try to put
them on a paper-thin platter.
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@user-192
....... yeah you're probably right. I could never get it working for some
reason. Only Alsa worked, and Alsa is arcane to configure :ms_confused:
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--- #123 fediverse/3732 ---
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@user-1218
There's 4 shoulder buttons, L1, L2, R1, and R2, so you can push one of those
to swap between screens. You can also push another one to swap between top on
the left, bottom on the right, and top on the right, bottom on the left, and a
third mode where there's only one screen shown.
Of course, the easiest to play games are the ones that only really use one
screen, or where switching between them isn't that big of a deal (turn based
games for example)
the touch-screen uses one of the analog sticks, and it's... not BAD, but it's
not the best.
However, for games like Final Fantasy 3 it's great!!
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--- #124 notes/symbeline-battlefields ---
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in Symbeline, there are moments where large armies of enemies gather to face a
mighty challenge. These calls are often answered by other evil parties, but at
times the burden must fall upon the shoulders of the good. Light battles dark,
and in a climactic finale the justice of the world is laid bare. These
encounters comprise more than both an adventuring party and a horde party. They
are represented on the map as a circular icon the majesty can click on and open
a screen that gives them command over a single battle. Essentially adding a
tactics minigame. The battles take place in real time, with the majesty
directing and giving orders. There'll be a system for expression in the orders
each player gives - there can only be 6 total (3 for before
what if the grand canyon was the seat of native american power and it crumbled
and that great calamity shook the very society to the core. the only reason
that
europeans could get as far as they did was because there who two calamities in
a
row. Disaster was afoot, and everything felt like it was burning. A calamitous
event.
what I mean to say is um do you ever feel like everything is burning? Like the
world is on fire and nobody seems to care. Like, literally on fire. Like it'll
catch like a tinderbox and go "crack". Nobody survives that, it'd be the end of
the world. That's not something to fucking play around with you pieces of shit
and by that I mean well not only is a lifetime so sheltered, from all that was
weathered, by the past unbeknownsted to our selves.
I'm proud of how far I came. I feel like a statue in the garden, a spirit
inhabiting the house. I feel like an interpretive dance, like a statement of
being on our behalf. swirling and chaotic, yet never amnioxitc, alight and
aloft
to our pleasures.
for {bool shouldGameEnd = False; !shouldGameEnd();} {
// game code
}
okay anyways back to symbeline - the commands issued before a battle are things
like "have more spearmen here" or "hold and attack the rear" and stuff like
what you'd give in Dominions, except with fantasy armies.
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--- #125 messages/810 ---
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[Image: 20250411_160315.jpg]
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--- #126 messages/450 ---
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How about this: it's legal to smoke cannabis in "public" spaces but only if
they're hidden from typical passerby. Meaning, out of sight of windows,
walkways, paved paths, designated hiking trails, parking lots, roads, etc.
Places people reasonably might be who might not want to see you or smell you.
Stoners can keep their smoke spots and do it without fear. Everyone's happy!
Plus, landlords get even happier because now there's no reason why people
would smoke in their apartments (except medicinally)! Downside is if there's
no good spots nearby, so maybe we need to mandate overgrown parks with
secluded areas. I mean, we should do that anyway...
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--- #127 messages/391 ---
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Children, listen to your elders. They're the ones who made the problems you're
dealing with, so they're the ones who know how and why those problems came to
be.
Elders, listen to the children. If your solution would have worked, the
problem would already have been solved.
People, work together to address issues. A United force can accomplish so much
more than individuals struggling on their own.
In an authoritarian system, an elder would say to a child "this is how we do
things because this is right, this is how it should be."
In a libertarian system, an elder would say to a child "this is why we do
things this way, and here's why this way works best for me."
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--- #128 fediverse/3692 ---
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the reason Discord won't allow you to join their communities via 3rd party
clients like TUI's and CLI's is because they're worried games will just bake a
client into the game and hide all the community stuff. They're worried because
there's no reason why a fighting game needs to have a button for viewing a
puzzle game's community.
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@user-883
They do value your privacy. They value it for exactly as much as those 1444
partners are willing to pay for it.
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--- #131 fediverse/409 ---
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║ Looking for a job like this: │
║ │
║ salary: ...decent │
║ │
║ requirements: maximum personal net worth less than a million dollars │
║ │
║ responsibilities: be cool with the team and work together │
║ │
║ description of the company: we try to make the best product we can and help │
║ people accomplish tasks they couldn't do without us │
║ │
║ experience: must have had first kiss already. we don't want no unexperienced │
║ kissers on the job site. │
║ │
║ duties: write C code all day and livestream yourself to Twitch as you do it │
║ │
║ suggestions: drink more water! your pee is practically brown │
║ │
║ must be proficient with scritches and nuzzles and should you decide to work │
║ with us we'll assign you one fuzzy animal to befriend you. If you're allergic │
║ you get a blahaj. │
║ │
║ compensation: whatever your rent is + expenses + 30% for retirement + 10% for │
║ vacation + 10% for emergency fund + 1% for christmas gifts + 25% because we │
║ think you're neat │
║ │
║ considerations: this mythical job posting was unfortunately swamped with │
║ applicants so we're closing it before we even posted it. │
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--- #132 fediverse/745 ---
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║ quintessential friend group: │
║ │
║ the smart one │
║ │
║ the cute one │
║ │
║ the one who can swing a bat │
║ │
║ the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their │
║ email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia │
║ │
║ the friendly one who's always down to hang out │
║ │
║ the outdoorsy one │
║ │
║ the fed │
║ │
║ the one who's always cooking something │
║ │
║ the one who's perfectly fine in silence │
║ │
║ the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just │
║ chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day) │
║ │
║ the one who's good with animals │
║ │
║ the one who's smile you can't get out of your head │
║ │
║ the one who's drop-dead gorgeous │
║ │
║ and the one who's always telling her that │
║ │
║ the one who's friends with everyone, │
║ │
║ and the one who's knitting a hat │
║ │
║ the one who knows each street in your city │
║ │
║ and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy │
║ │
║ There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure │
║ │
║ Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared? │
║ │
║ Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine. │
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--- #133 fediverse_boost/5009 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════──────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ Martin Luther King Jr. was killed on this day in 1968. │║║││║║│ By the end of his life, he was an avowed socialist: │║║││║║│ https://jacobin.com/2016/01/martin-luther-king-socialist │║║││║║│ #MartinLutherKing #MLK #socialism │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┴───────╝─▶
--- #134 messages/1155 ---
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Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
"talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #135 messages/547 ---
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Internationalize amazon and walmart and you'll have fixed most of the problems
of globalism.
But you can't fix anything if you don't have power...
It's important to focus on how to get power. Keep in mind "what to do when you
have power" but don't let it dominate your thoughts. Focus on claiming your
right to determination.
Steps to revolution:
1. Invert power structures with unions
2. Care for people with mutual aid
3. Vote for the Democrat so we have a few more years of peace
4. Teach people to always be learning
5. Connect to people on a personal or spiritual level
6. Make the world a better place, whether that's by sweeping a street corner
or helping people smile, it doesn't really matter how. What matters is the
intention.
7. Improve your self and your life. Do pushups, eat better, drink more water,
spend time writing (writing is thinking), and take time to sit and stare at
the flowers.
8. Kill the part of yourself that cringes. Everyone's figuring things out and
its okay to say "haha okay then"
9. Spend time with animals.
10. Make mistakes. Apologize for them. Learn from them. Stay mobile in your
character. Develop new ways of being.
11. React with vigor when the time comes. This vigor will only be violent if
it is caused by violence. Much more likely is a strength through organization.
We can do it if we do it together!
12. Show up every day, but don't hang around if everyone's resting at home.
It's okay to stop showing up if things are on pause.
13. Trust that your allies are working. Or resting. Or preparing.
14. Plans change, planning remains.
15. Dream of a better future. It is within reach.
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"there's no such thing as a free lunch"
okay but what if we economy-of-scale'd until it cost pennies
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You know all those companies who say "we're a family" well... I wish they
would adopt me. I want a family that I work with. But it kinda feels like...
if I say anything personal they'll use it against me? What's the point?
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--- #138 fediverse_boost/2152 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════───────────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ Scotus just essentially made being #homeless illegal. │║║││║║│ In Los Angeles it’s illegal to sleep in your car. If you find yourself spending the night in your car, set your phone to stream something. If you’re confronted by police, mention you were not intending to sleep but we’re watching TV or movie and fell asleep by accident. │║║││║║│ I figured this out when I was “watching a show in my car” at one point. │║║││║║│ I hope the #scotus that did this spend the balance of their lives “watching a show in their cars.” │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────╝─▶
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│ CW: video-games-mentioned │
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if the choice is between working on your game / mod and playing a game / mod,
always work on your game / mod.
your work will outlast you. your time spent in a state of pleasure will
sustain you.
sometimes there's not a choice. sometimes you need to play, and that's okay.
to play is natural, it's one of the first things humans do.
we also work.
children build sand castles.
adults build stone castles.
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--- #140 fediverse/2267 ---
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@user-620
The BLM protests were a threat, but not a killing blow, because people like me
feared tear gas more than chamber gas.
It won't happen again.
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--- #141 messages/139 ---
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Layoffs are the perfect opportunity for a bunch of people who worked with the
same tech stack to sit down and think "what could we make together?"
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--- #142 fediverse/5884 ---
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║ the peril of germany that cost the jews their place in that particular │
║ homeland was caused by some guys in a palace discussing blood economics, or as │
║ the kids call it "war and it's reparations" │
║ │
║ alternatively, the peril perhaps was enabled by the lack of collective │
║ resistance by the people who trusted their most radical to be their most │
║ powerful, not just the most impactful. Unfortunately, liberty dies alone, │
║ having sacrificed herself first. │
║ │
║ Not ideal. we can do better. we can do better, which is why I'm still here. │
║ I'm sure you feel just the same. │
║ │
║ where else is there to go? survival guilt kills enough, no need to survive │
║ those who'd fight for you. │
║ │
║ "ugh why are our most radical calling for change? can't they just be satisfied │
║ with how it was before, back when the bad guys had to fight for control │
║ instead of already having it?" │
║ │
║ I think I'd prefer if we defeated them once and for all. Can't empower evil if │
║ you abolish power, after all, and suddenly KABLAM goes national narratives. │
║ Goodbye borders, equality. │
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--- #143 fediverse/4542 ---
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@user-1698
Magic Survival might not work then, as it's a "single stick shooter" where
movement is controlled with a virtual joystick and other actions are performed
automatically.
There is more than one control scheme in the options, so it might be worth
fiddling with, but octopus arms are hard to overcome in a non-turn-based game.
Good luck finding games that work ❤️
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--- #144 fediverse_boost/4873 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ Reminder: When GOP talks about getting rid of “DEI” they don’t mean getting rid of stupid contrived training that does no good. They mean getting rid of Black people, women, trans folk, and others that don’t fit their ideal of a white ethnostate. They mean getting rid of *PEOPLE*. Not programs. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #145 fediverse/5747 ---
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@user-1868
I found this one several months ago! It's probably stale haha but I love it.
The audio still works, which is a fact I learned while I was carrying it
through the train station under my jacket and it started making noises.
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursed-scary-pol-doomer-misinformation │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-713 @user-714 │
║ │
║ the american military is going to be too busy fighting it's far right that it │
║ won't be able to meaningfully contribute to ww3 │
║ │
║ both sides are slavers. we just don't see it. │
║ │
║ I don't anticipate war taking place on a battlefield, that setting is │
║ forevermore dedicated to video games and kaiju. │
║ │
║ rather, a silent war where everyone just goes around killing their opposition. │
║ │
║ for once, the citizens can't help but be armed. │
║ │
║ and in the dark of night, for every time we let plight from our sight, another │
║ of us is harmed. │
║ │
║ I don't know many people who've died. but maybe they're just working through a │
║ different part of the social network. It's not like any of their technology │
║ needs to perform as it's been advertised? well, open source does, but open │
║ source means insecure (as long as you don't get caught, then you need to │
║ adjust) │
║ │
║ of course, sometimes corporate software... kinda sucks. so it's not like │
║ theyre very configurable away from what capital wanted. │
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--- #147 notes/black-friday ---
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black friday is a test of a market's growth. good year = people feeling
comfortable enough to spend their extra money instead of saving it. when they
feel at ease, they will spend more money - thus predicting and propelling the
growth of the market that lives on it's own.
together we guide it, with all of our will and our bones.
together we'll go, where no one has treaded before now,
together we'll walk to the future.
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--- #148 messages/558 ---
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"no survivors" is a commitment to your teammates that doubles as intimidation
for your foes.
"no survivors" means you are committing to die for this battle. A truly
serious oath.
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--- #149 fediverse_boost/3182 ---
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--- #150 fediverse/5291 ---
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the most important skill I can think of for a linux software engineer is the
ability to connect multiple systems together and turn windows and macintosh
devices into Linux devices so that datacenters can be built out of whatever's
on the around.
there's this programming language I like called Chapel for distributed
computation computing which is also cool, if you're more of the programming
type.
networking security I believe often has hardware solutions, so getting the
crypto-graphy boys and the PCB girls together to work on some jams is a good
and productively useful gathering of insightful events
"but ritz computers should only be used to solve problems that people have,
not make more problems!" ah yes but have you considered that problems find
you, and the computers help you work through them
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--- #151 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #152 messages/1213 ---
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Communism is easy. It comes about naturally during times of true crisis
(neither defeat not victory, yet) when people shuffle themselves between the
houses and belongings of dead, busy, or kind people.
Maintaining personal property rights through such a crisis is rarely possible.
At least not without falling to the grim clutches of a "fuck you i got mine"
kind of future.
It's worth it if you can manage it. But it requires more work, more effort,
and more trust, as people dedicate themselves to a lifetime in the service of
others. This is hard.
People are scared off by lifetimes. It's all they got, after all. It becomes a
bit easier when the weather is "do our die" outside, but in that case nobody
really cares about the history of your antique mug or the reason you place
daffodils on the hill.
Have you ever made something that is truly yours? Odds are, your room counts.
If only in the way you chose to arrange it. It's your area, your solace, your
space. It's you, projected onto material organization. Would you relinquish
such a thing? It may be taken from you. I personally have felt deep loss
whenever i move houses, because i know it'll never be the same again.
... I'm such a child. But fuck me because i live my life like I'm 14. Strip me
of my agency please, deny me a living wage, I'm nothing because i don't pay
taxes.
Communism is easy she says. Yep, all you need is some bloodshed.
... Not ideal...
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--- #153 fediverse/515 ---
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@user-367 @user-246 @user-366 @user-352
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--- #154 messages/515 ---
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--- #155 fediverse/4614 ---
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@user-1687
... the existence of time should be treated as a given, for if you can observe
the passage of it, then it must exist in some capacity, and if it exists at
all then it must surely be considered to be real in the sense that
things-and-not-things are real, for they are only known to be real in the same
capacity that time is observed to be real ...
my brain won't stop halp😅 :ms_confused: 😋 🙃
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--- #156 messages/821 ---
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[Image: 20250412_213530.jpg]
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--- #157 messages/206 ---
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The whole time I was camping on Wyoming, I never once felt scared. As a kid I
was a hero, an adventurer, a warrior and a director. I'd plan out engagements
and fight as an actor. It was fun! And I never was afraid, so I never got
possessed by a forest spirit or anything like that. No evil witches either.
No, the witch came later I think.
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--- #158 fediverse/1641 ---
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║ a constantly synced data export option for mastodon where your files are │
║ tracked both internally and externally as trustfully decided on by the user's │
║ interactions and responses. Basically, social media actions through a VM, or │
║ rather an API for the newer devs. │
║ │
║ do you ever wonder why the young are not trained to do, while advised, while │
║ the old are stuck with the doing? Kinda feels like an inherently unstable │
║ arrangement. I mean, children can make decisions about "what does base human │
║ nature tell us" and kids can make morality designs. Teenagers give us insight │
║ to what changes in adulthood, and parents handle stressful times with grace. │
║ Then, the elders can explain and advise, and pass on the knowledge of their │
║ ancestors, as the children, adults, and futures must pass inside. │
║ │
║ but alas, kids are stuck learning unguided, in the peak of their years, │
║ because everything's been automated by AI. Can't wait to see what we're like │
║ spiritually in a hundred years. Age extension technology sure is great, isn't │
║ it? I lo │
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--- #160 notes/homeschooling-3 ---
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Okay I just want to rant about homeschooling for a moment. Specifically the
ways in which we judge families as "worthy" of homeschooling. Because I think
it's immoral and completely wrong, but I also think there's a better way.
So. Right now, there are standardized tests that students need to take every
year. I think this is completely unnecessary and stupid, for reasons I might
go into later in the rant. We'll see where it goes. Anyway, the only state
exempt from these rules is (you guessed it) Wyoming, which is a big reason why
my family moved there. The standardized tests assume that children aren't
neurodivergent, that they don't have special needs, and that they are willing
to be taught according to the letter of the test. They teach families to shoot
for the minimum viable product (oh just gotta pass the test or else they'll
take my kids away for 8+ hours per day) and they don't actually encourage
learning - in fact they prove to be a barrier for learning, as the child must
be forced to learn whatever the heck the standardized tests demand. This is
unethical, as children should be free to explore their identities and their
realities as they will.
I believe, instead, that the parent should be tested. I think if you want to
homeschool your kid you should be able to show proficiency in the tasks that a
child must know - if you don't have similar proficiency to a teacher, then
what's the point of homeschooling? I also believe that these tests should be
regular and should reflect the things that the child is currently going
through - no sense asking a parent of a 6 year old how to do trigonometry, as
that skill is not useful to the parent at the moment and will simply distract
from learning the things that the parent should be learning - like theory on
how humans learn to read, how communication works, how to get your kid moving
and active throughout the day (very important in a world of smartphones) and
other such things that a 6 year old would need to know.
I also believe there should be wandering busses that take kids (and only kids)
around to various museums. I think that they could operate in a city for a
month or two each year, bringing all the homeschool kids together for a couple
months of road trips where they visit every single museum and state park and
other such recreational venues that would be conducive to their learning. They
could even have days where they shadow professionals at places like hospitals
or universities. Essentially trying to get them excited about learning.
And I know what you're thinking - "oh won't the kids run rampant and make it
hard to manage - you'll need tons of chaperones and blah blah" yeah that's
public school thinking. Homeschool kids are almost always incredibly well
behaved, because they're low key kinda TERRIFIED of the novelty of EACH and
EVERY moment. Children are natural ruffians - put them in a box for 8 hours
every day and they'll burst through it's seams. Unless of course you oppress
them sufficiently... When you're homeschooled you have so much more freedom.
You can do whatever you want, and that gives breath to new manners of
expression and personality.
I also think there should be busses that travel between cities as well, so
that they can see new places. These will have to be closely monitored by
chaperones and teachers, so it would be an extension of the public school
system. Once in the new city the kids would join the kids from public school,
so they can see what they're missing. Since the parents won't be present they
won't be able to prevent the kid from expressing their true feelings, and if
they believe in their heart of hearts that they want to go to public school
instead... Well, that's perfect because they'll have an opportunity to tell
someone outside of their family.
I think a lot of the problems with homeschooling are due to the fact that the
kids never have the opportunity to advocate for themselves. Who would they
tell, their parents? Their potential abusers? Their taskmasters and oppressors
and enforcers and discipliners? No, there's no reason to expect that all
families will not be like that. Some are going to be bad and abusive, and if
we give the opportunity to children to tell people who can help them then they
can be liberated from their oppression, insofar as much as they will be
allowed to go to school. I don't think the parents should be examined by CPS
or anything, I'm not saying their children have to be taken away from them,
but the kid should be allowed to take possession of their life and define it
in a way that suits them. They are humans and to deprive them of their right
to liberty is unethical. If the kid wants to be homeschooled, they must be
given a personalized tutor. Whether that be the parent (as most families do)
or a substitute teacher that was randomly assigned. (it must be randomly
assigned btw or else the rich will have an advantage. The kid didn't earn the
money that would be spent on them, so why should they have a greater chance of
success than everyone else? Solves most of Cam's reasons against it btw)
Anyway. I think by providing resources to parents and access to society to
children, I think we can create a new class of human - one who is liberated
and free from the weight carried from the past. We can move beyond our savage
nature and develop into something bigger and grander, something far stronger
and not susceptible to despair and aggression. We can forge a bright future
for our children and their children's children, a future so far from the past
that it feels alien to them. Something our oppressors (whoever they may be)
would be strictly opposed to.
I guess what I'm saying is this: there are barriers in place to prevent
homeschooled kids from success. It's why homeschooling has such a bad
reputation, because these kids grow up to be unfit for society. But
honestly... I'd argue that society is unfit for humanity. I think it's
something that protected us as hunter-gatherers, and it allowed us to build
vast kingdoms to protect our selves. But it paved the way for greed to
manifest, and in it's collective form into nationalism and religious fervor.
Our hatred of "others" is derived from our intense need to trust the pack and
the family - or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter because the end
result is the same - we, as humans, are who we are. We have our traits and our
flaws. We have great passions and love fiercely. We strive forward with
ambition, and we one day will drive forward into the stars. Our future
deserves to be nourished, as do the trees that shade our lawn. For all of
posterity, we've languished in misery, to build on our backs the shoulders of
giants.
I guess what I'm saying is this: these barriers are contrived of the
consequences of the past. The result of every human action led to where we
are, and the school system is no different. So we should try and repair it and
protect it from harm. The wounds of society bleed forth to posterity, but
slowly and ever-so-slowly do they heal. Look at our space - we have (as far as
we know) the whole solar system, at least! That's more than enough for
humanity. If we had the technology to go forward we would, but we just don't.
We can't figure it out. We're working on it, but it's still a long ways off.
So we need to do what we can while we're here, and pray that something comes
about before we consume all our resources and burn out. We've tracked the
progress of the past and we've realized that we've come upon a junction - do
we leap forward and conquer the stars? Or do we relax into our form and exist
and enforce the norm. It's entirely a question of what we're willing to
sacrifice to get there, which isn't a burden I'd like the choice to make. I
don't have any answers, but I believe there are answers. Perhaps it's just me
for which it's suddenly learned?
I mean really, is it so out of the ordinary that a person could learn
differently than others of their age? For example, for me, I learn things in
fits and in bursts - conquering one subject after another, and incorporating
it into my knowledge banks. I make notes to myself, and I frequently can't
recall what I've learned. Because it's not built for repetition, it's not
designed to be labored in force. Instead it's for wisdom, for knowing when to
use which tool in what way. It's for knowing where to look, how to know what
you know, and conceiving of futures far more imaginative for it. AKA PROBLEM
SOLVING. I can't work a job, at least not an entry level one, because every
moment is a gesture of will. Eventually, I run out, I burn out, and I burn.
The ashes of who I once was give life to a new beginning, and forth from the
soil grows my new form. I am a phoenix, I burn brightly and then smolder, then
burst forth in a cacophony of pure form. That's just how I do, you know it to
be true, and I believe it was a product of homeschooling.
Most people cannot conceptualize of it. They see it as simply repeating the
motions they knew from their public schooling deception. But that's not what
it can be, that's not what it should be, and that's not how I'd like it to be.
Growing up I spent long afternoons at the library. The morning was spent with
taking care of myself, my family, and the farm - sometimes my duties would
rotate, sometimes they'd stay the same. Then, afterwards, I'd go to the
library with my family. There we'd stay all day, until eventually we grew
tired of using our brains. Then we'd often go to the chinese restaurant in
town, where my family could eat for free. After that, home, and perhaps we'd
eat icecream and watch a family movie together. Then off to bed, and in the
morning we'd take care of ourselves, our selves, and the farm. We loved one
another, and we could never dream of harming our daughter, but somehow it
happened and look where we are. Alas, she was a fine young lass, if only she'd
spoken in the past. I came out when I was almost twenty, and a whole lifetime
had passed me by. Now my puberty is just beginning, and I watch as my family
goes past. They don't want me to change, but they know it'll never be the
same, so why try and fight for an illusion? Oh well. Good news is there's
always tomorrow, and together we can face any challenges. If only we were
still together.
Bah, what do I know? What am I even saying? There's at least four things wrong
with me, and I'm a mess financially. I have like, 600$ to my name and I don't
have a job. What, am I insane?
I'm not built for society. I'm built for humanity, and I'm 29 years old.
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"Alright I'm not great with syntax so I'm going to write it in pseudocode
first, and then if you'd like I can show you how I work through implementing
the syntax.
But first - do you want a robust solution, a quick solution, or a rapidly
deployed and cheap solution?"
using this trick you can pretend to be competent in any programming language,
except maybe ancient ones like Fortran or strange ones like lisps or Haskell
if they ask you to use a framework or something tho you're kinda boned because
you need to know which functions to call and how to initialize context and
such. When using a framework, the boilerplate is the code, which is why
frameworks suck
"don't call yourself a programmer" fuck off
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--- #162 fediverse/5237 ---
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║ that feeling when you're working on a large piece of software which has the │
║ capability to process in advance which operations will go in what order (a │
║ form of constant re-compilation) and schedules tasks like an operating system, │
║ to be executed on one of many individual threads. │
║ │
║ your filemanager probably has a thread for a moment, then passes it back, │
║ waiting it's turn to be updated while you're messing around on Inkscape or │
║ writing something in Neovim or running neofetch 256 times in order to find the │
║ best background to go along with it or whatever it is people do when using │
║ computers │
║ │
║ the task scheduler meanwhile has the glorious opportunity to work at a higher │
║ level of abstraction, managing each individual process and learning bits and │
║ pieces of what needs to be processed next. It all gets put on a list, and │
║ whenever a new thread comes up to be available it can point it toward one of │
║ those in the list of tasks to be executed by the task executor who works on a │
║ schedule and laughs externally in wintertime~ │
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--- #163 fediverse_boost/6059 ---
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--- #164 fediverse/693 ---
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That feeling when you do a thing a friend showed you how to do, and you think
of them 🥰🥰🥰
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--- #165 fediverse/2243 ---
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@user-1212
black, the color of the night sky
red, the color of the fading light
blue, the color of the morning
fireworks should be every color. whatever looks best. the point is to
celebrate, right? have fun with it! go nuts! it's a party, after all : )
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--- #166 fediverse/268 ---
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│ CW: personal-school-choices-god-mentioned-magic-game-idea-just...-a-lot-of-stuff │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
🖼
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--- #167 messages/720 ---
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[Image: 20250118_010358.jpg]
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--- #168 fediverse/3022 ---
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instead of controlling a recon-droid in Star Wars Battlefront II, you should
be assigned control of a random amount of drones nearby, to be used until you
went back to character control
I think a swarm is more fun to play as than a single little scout vehicle.
in a game that doesn't really need scouting to find your foe - it's easy!
they're that way
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[Image: 20250411_160032.jpg]
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--- #170 messages/654 ---
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I spent so long searching for the right answers, I didn't realize lips that
are loosened have kill counts of their own.
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--- #171 fediverse/1187 ---
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@user-883
I'm 29, and I had Pokemon Silver growing up. However I bought it used, and the
battery was worn out or something because it wouldn't save! But still I played
that single game for months on my gameboy color, trying to see how far I could
get. I had a level 40+ Totodile (or was it Crocanaw? I forget) and
unfortunately one day I took it on a 30 minute car ride, expecting the battery
to last at least 30 minutes, but unbeknownst to my child self there was
construction on the way, which turned it into a 4+ hour drive. I couldn't
believe it! The battery died, and I lost my save file... I was heartbroken. T.T
Next time I played, I learned a lot. I actually read some of the dialogue
text, and learned you could use pokeballs to capture pokemon
I was so dumb I was using a single character to get through the game. What a
n00b.
Anyway when my mom heard about my tribulations she bought me Pokemon Gold,
which I played quite a bit less. I was focused on other things you see, like
Dragon Warrior Three. Alas.
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--- #172 fediverse/2464 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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@user-381
when you mention loyalty as a criteria for citizenship, I can't help but think
about the repealed chevron doctrine, preventing specialists from doing their
jobs unless they are loyal.
testing the waters? or perhaps planting a garden. either way, not okay.
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--- #173 fediverse/1691 ---
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"I don't know what I was doing with this line of code so I'm going to delete
it and fix it later"
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--- #174 fediverse/5982 ---
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when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
parts.
when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
lean was only for laughs.
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--- #175 messages/530 ---
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The strength of a leader is determined not by how many arms they may bear, but
by how many sets of arms they may bring to bear
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--- #176 fediverse/3557 ---
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did you know that IF checks can be represented using arithmetic? It's true!
... as long as your input value A is a 0 or 1, of course. If A, then B.
Otherwise, C.A * B + (1 - A) * C
which means that an OR check could perhaps be something similar toA / B - (1 +
A) / C
boom, solved N=NP, gimme a million dollars lmao
she did not, in fact, get a million dollars. She's got the spirit but boy does
she miss the mark.
... repeatedly, and consistently. Something something "girl who cried wolf"
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--- #177 fediverse/5560 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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dependencies would be fuckloads easier if applications put their files in
standard locations. actually it's better if they are at abstract locations -
meaning it can be user defined for each file.
then, have some "sensible default" setting the user can configure which says
"if an application wants to store a, say, config file, where would it put it?"
and you'd say "oh in the ~/configs directory" then the install wizard would
say "yes yes very good, and now where should I store user interface templates?"
then the user is like... "wat" because they don't know how the software works
yet.
this solves 90% of all software dependency issues because all you have to do
is keep a file with all the directories for each program. then, search through
the file every time you need a dependency connection.
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--- #178 fediverse/2979 ---
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what if we made a hormone that bolstered your bones and did all the
gender-neutral things that Estrogen and Testosterone do without any of the
feminizing or masculinizing effects
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--- #179 fediverse/2336 ---
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I think I might stay out late tonight. For the past week I've been going home
before dark, but I might stay late tonight.
Tell your friends, maybe you'll see me. Preferably one-on-one, because social
media posts can be filtered both non-and-consentually.
Unless they're sleeping after having driven from a great long ways. They can
sleep. 🥰
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--- #180 fediverse_boost/5513 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════───────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ While everything is indeed horrible, you are not obligated to solely focus on the horror. The availability of a constant stream of bad news does not make that news valuable by itself. Paying constant attention is not "doing something." So if the information isn't actionable, filter it. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴───────╝─▶
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@user-883
That's a good point! I didn't realize that. I figured there was an option for
LAN connections? If so, you can create a virtual LAN using Hamachi or
something. Does Hamachi still exist?
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--- #182 fediverse/2032 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: MTG-capitalism-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ If you automate art, there'll be no more artists. │
║ │
║ If you automate capitalism, there'll be no more capitalists. │
║ │
║ Perfect! That's what we want, right? So that we don't have to work jobs for │
║ them? They wouldn't exist, after all, if everyone went on strike. │
║ │
║ But that kind of coordination is hard. So why don't we just automate │
║ capitalism? It's certainly doable, a lot easier than automating art (which is │
║ impossible btw, but bear with me) │
║ │
║ If you want to automate capitalism, you must first automate Magic the │
║ Gathering. │
║ │
║ There are several ways to win a match in Magic. You could reduce your │
║ opponent's life counter to 0, you could force them to draw from an empty deck, │
║ and you can give them 10 poison counters. │
║ │
║ These are KPI's, and developing a critical path to reach them will depend on │
║ the composition of the player's deck. Each deck will approach the conclusion │
║ of the game in a different way, and developing solutions to reach those goals │
║ is part of each player's responsibilities on their turn. │
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when all of your friends only know each other, you're vulnerable
we need to be a continuous patchwork of fabric if we want to survive
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--- #184 fediverse_boost/5572 ---
◀─╔═════════════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════════════───────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ If you cannot already tell, I am a communist (not capital C Communist) │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴───────╝─▶
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Algorism in a nutshell:
Everyone gets dollars from their job. Will explain more later, for now trust
that they get dollars. Essentials and infrastructure are free, but luxuries
are not.
To spend dollars, you either go to a showroom or use the nationalized Amazon
(forked, not stolen) - there you can place down dollars to enter a special
kind of queue. Everytime a product is made its distributed to the people with
the most dollars in queue. Every period (week, month, idk) the amount you
manually put into the queue is re-added to the queue - 100 becomes 200,
becomes 300, becomes 400. You can manually add more whenever you like but it's
not retroactive. At the end of the period all your extra dollars are
distributed among your open queues.
That's basically it. It rewards patience and temperance, while capitalism
rewards greed and cruelty.
How to get dollars? Okay so there is a government run job board portal website
thing. Every company can make a listing there, and every person can post
themselves too if they'd rather be recruited. The company pays a different
amount to the government than the worker receives. This amount is determined
algorithmically based on values like supply and demand for labor in that
particular area.
People list 10 types of jobs they'd like to work at any level of specificity
(they'd be arranged into layers of overlapping umbrellas, like queer
identities except more complex) then that data is used both for job placement
(consensual of course!) and data for the "supply and demand" calculation. You
can only change these values once every 6 months, or 1 value every month, up
to the user.
The amount the corporation pays to the government is not the same as what the
worker receives. The longer a worker works, the more "stuff" they can buy.
They are rewarded for diligence. However essentials are free so nobody has to
save for retirement.
You can trade stuff for stuff, but not stuff for labor. Small informal
exchanges are fine "if you mow my lawn I'll bake you a pie" but not "I'll give
you 500lbs of gold bars if you build me a mansion" - I haven't figured out a
way to structurally prevent rant besides just saying it's illegal.
Housing is like a library, except you can queue for who gets the spot next. A
person can live in a house as long as they'd like, and when they're done with
it the person highest in the queue can decide if they want to live there. If
not, the 2nd in line gets to move in if they want, etc. Their accrued value
persists if they don't move in, and when moving out an accurate assessment
should be undertaken.
"ah but won't foreign states just hire a bunch of people to move in and out of
houses really quickly like they're doing to my apartment complex so that a
stable source of income cannot be guaranteed and resources will have to be
wasted on assessments and such?" I mean, maybe, but it'd be up to the
community to decide how to prevent that.
Your primary residence is free, you can live there as long as you'd like. If
you want two houses then you need to continuously be the highest value in the
queue for both of them. Same goes for renting and hotels and such - the
"owner" or property manager or whatever needs to maintain their lead by
investing time and value in the property. Otherwise nobody would want to live
there. This would be an example of a self-appointed job.
Self-appointed jobs are like being self employed now. You produce value that
people enter queues for, and in return your stacking percentage bonus
increases. The government will pay you dollars based on the demand for your
good/service, which odds are will be pretty small. But you get to do what you
want, so that's something, and besides essentials are free so...
I wish people would ask me questions so I knew which blanks to fill in.
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--- #186 fediverse/2914 ---
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@user-570 @user-246
I'll be there too!! Do you want to meet me in person? I promise I'm not scary!
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--- #187 fediverse/3489 ---
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you know what they say, when you're late to work you're not stuck in traffic -
you ARE traffic
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--- #188 messages/342 ---
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So. To reiterate, the employee in Arkansas is paid a wage of 30$ per hour, and
the state in which the corporation is based (say, Oklahoma) is paid 30$ for
each hour that employee works. However, these dollars are specific to the
region, and cannot leave it - Oklahoma and Arkansas *must* reach an equitable
arrangement where their dollars equal out. Balance is desired, as it brings
stability and provides a foundation for future growth. If one side prospers,
so does the other. Why should the Oklahoman have less than the Arkansan?
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--- #189 fediverse/3964 ---
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I want to go camping with a bunch of programmers bearing laptops. Each person
can bring a book or three and whatever documentation they can fit on their
computer and then we just spend 3 months in the mountains doing nothing but
programming, hiking, sitting around the campfire, and dreaming of a better
tomorrow
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--- #190 fediverse_boost/4903 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ Attention Troubleshooters: │║║││║║│ According to recent reports from CPU analysts, average team efficiency decreases 12.3% when troubleshooters scream in pain. │║║││║║│ Please refrain from showing signs of suffering while on duty. │║║││║║│ Thank you for your cooperation. │║║││║║│ #Paranoia #TTRPG #Games #stoic #pain #teamwork │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #191 messages/954 ---
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Simple things to do to reform or blunt the pain of capitalism if you are a
mayor, governor, or other body with political power:
1. Pay people for their commutes. Demand that jobs offer payment to people for
getting to the workplace, and don't let them work you more than 8 hours
(including commute) unless you're given overtime pay. But do let them
discriminate based on how far away you live. That's okay because it directly
financially affects them and is therefore a strategic decision. Plus, you can
move closer maybe.
2. Consider closing car lanes and adding bike lanes. Depending on the
location, this can do wonders for city enrichment.
3. Universal basic income, just to give people breathing room.
4. Give people 10$ for showing up at a park every week on Sunday or whatever.
Encourage them to hang around and talk to people.
5. Build a fediverse instance for the neighborhood/city/state/country and give
everyone a unified account on all of them. Don't let them browse other
regions, but if they have friends elsewhere they should be able to see what
they say.
6. Put your laws or code or whatever legal or political documents you use into
a git repository, and include the full change-log as commits with the date
either simulated, or added as a comment at the top or something.
7. Bolster small business and charge scaling taxes of any kind to large
businesses. Encourage economies of scale to utilize their scale to lower
production costs in order to sell more product rather than sell the same
product and enrich their owners.
8. Subsidize or sponsor people to make in-home workshops and gardens. Develop
ways for them to sell their wares with minimal effort - trucks that drive by
and pick up standardized packages with price-tags and take them to a central
market?
9. Build infrastructure that hosts a website for every address. Let the
current occupants do whatever they want with it.
10. Grow plants. Brb my water is boiling
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--- #192 messages/1007 ---
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--- #193 fediverse/3928 ---
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║ the only people who believe in "good jobs" and "poor jobs" are people who │
║ would rather pay less │
║ │
║ and, like, yeah pay should correspond to effort. that way if someone like, │
║ doesn't try at all, then they shouldn't be paid very much. │
║ │
║ and yeah sure neurodivergence plays a role, but that's totally │
║ accountable-for. [it's a solvable problem she means] │
║ │
║ but people deserve to be treated equally. we are all created in kind, after │
║ all (perhaps "equitably" would be better) │
║ │
║ and right now... the cheapest jobs, AKA the ones who are hiring (sometimes) │
║ are being taken over by people who are WAY overqualified. │
║ │
║ we need to use our highly skilled labor force, not leave it to rot. But │
║ there's money to be made in monopolizing, hence starbucks and walmarts and │
║ target (red walmart) and all of the others, including amazon and greenpeace. │
║ │
║ ... what does greenpeace have to do - shut up you'll see (what? you're getting │
║ off track) [and burning characters, too] right uh the more high skilled people │
║ in low wage positions, the less profit │
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--- #194 fediverse/2744 ---
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│ CW: re: capitalism-mentioned │
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@user-1074
ah but you see when "maximizing profit" and "maximizing value" sound like the
same thing to those directing the corporation (as is the case anytime they
have greedy shareholders) then "maximizing profit" doesn't have to be very
efficient at all, as long as it's extracting the most "value" for the
stakeholders (which to greedy shareholders is the same thing as profit)
and honestly, who would invest in a company that isn't eternally growing as
fast as possible? that's just bad business acumen, gotta pump those numbers up!
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--- #195 notes/wow-chat-raids ---
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wowchat would make a great game for raids.
have the monsters spawn at specific spots that you go through and identify
on the geometry
tell them to run and attack the nearest of foes
give the players the goal of bringing themselves through to the end...
or, later on, in building an internal expedition.
wow-chat, where monsters spawn in a circle around your character and walk to
ward them. you can meet characters who'll follow and protect you, and you can
meet monsters to fight. also vendors to take your junk and give you cool
things,
and trainers to teach you and quest-givers to guide you and treasure for you to
find.
in raids, there are more things for you. monsters spawn at specified locations,
and only the nearest few in a radius. then, they attack over the landscape-of-
-imagination, and as they do they show you where is the most powerful loot.
if you raid a monster's den/hiding/spawning choice, then you have to defeat the
boss. this boss is larger, mostly. has more hitpoints... monstly. or maybe it's
just the most respected, who can say.
anyway, you get treasure if you do. the monster spawns for you when you find
it.
and you have to sense it by searching for whichever monsters spawn at higher
and
higher levels and in different types.
different monster type, different boss that way.
when the boss is slain, that type goes away.
at least, until the raid resets next week.
or maybe...
until enough resources have been gathered to make another attempt.
death knights should be able to command the minions to work in the haunted
mill.
it should be reasonable for a fighter to hire a peasant host.
mages should have golems or spirits or enchanted objects or elementals or
wizard
hats
warlocks should have covenants with dark hosts
darkness is not evil unless you use it for evil...
paladins should have retainers and disciples
elves should sing to the woods
clerics and charmers should be well understood.
celebrants and diviners are two of the same,
and pillars of plunder [warrior or rogue class] and rough and ripe [from the
stoner]
oops gotta go, sprung a leak
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[Image: 20250411_160506.jpg]
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--- #197 fediverse/3191 ---
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│ CW: lewd-politics │
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On one hand, people should be free to do as they want to.
on the other, people can be really horny sometimes.
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--- #198 fediverse/4333 ---
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@user-1660
welcome to the fight
nurture that ember, and spark others alight
what feelings you have tonight
are what give you sight.
the strength in our core
delivers us from plight.
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--- #199 fediverse/3581 ---
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@user-883
or vaporize, which doesn't have a smell beyond ~5 feet, especially if you
exhale into a carbon filter
like "weed smell" is a solvable problem and some people don't get it
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Corporations are pissed that workers started standing up for themselves so
they're punishing us with tight hiring, fake jobs, and layoffs in order to
remind us who is the master, and who is the slave. Class warfare doesn't end
just because we want it to.
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![the paradox of tolerance disappears if you look at tolerance, NOT as a moral standard, but as a social contract. If someone does not abide by the terms of the contract, then they are not covered by it. in other words, the interlont and not following the full rules of the social contract of mutual tolerance. since they are boreking the terms of the contrract they are no longer covered by the contract, and their intelorance should not ber trolerated. [next poster] sorry as someone who teaches the rhetoric this is a wonderful response to the tolerance of paradox. I cannot tell you how many times my students and I have had debates about this. this is the response. this does indeed fix it. I cannot wait to tell this to my classmates. Philosophically and rhetorically this completely resolved the paradox of tolerance and I am floored by it's simplistic nature and I cant believe my eyes when I never saw it before.](/similar-different/media/008c37d368fee408.webp "the paradox of tolerance disappears if you look at tolerance, NOT as a moral standard, but as a social contract. If someone does not abide by the terms of the contract, then they are not covered by it. in other words, the interlont and not following the full rules of the social contract of mutual tolerance. since they are boreking the terms of the contrract they are no longer covered by the contract, and their intelorance should not ber trolerated. [next poster] sorry as someone who teaches the rhetoric this is a wonderful response to the tolerance of paradox. I cannot tell you how many times my students and I have had debates about this. this is the response. this does indeed fix it. I cannot wait to tell this to my classmates. Philosophically and rhetorically this completely resolved the paradox of tolerance and I am floored by it's simplistic nature and I cant believe my eyes when I never saw it before.")
![tumblr post titled "this is not for you." this is a post aimed at me and other people who constantly fall into guilt spirals over all the things they can't do, and feel they should somehow magically be able to do anyway. For me, and for the others, this is a gentle reminder: - posts asking for monetary donations are speaking to people who *have* money. not your broke ass, still worrying about how to buy food for next month. - posts asking you to care about [extreme injustice of the day] are speaking to people who HAVE energy to care. not you, hanging onto your sanity by the fingernails. and, most importantly: posts telling you that you are horrible/cheap/awful/rude/unworthy/unlikable if you don't pay/reblog/signal boost/care? those posts can die in a fucking fire. too long; didn't listen: posts asking for shit you are not physically or mentally able to give? THOSE POSTS ARE NOT FOR YOU.](/similar-different/media/eec6e4bd05cc1c8a.webp "tumblr post titled \"this is not for you.\" this is a post aimed at me and other people who constantly fall into guilt spirals over all the things they can't do, and feel they should somehow magically be able to do anyway. For me, and for the others, this is a gentle reminder: - posts asking for monetary donations are speaking to people who *have* money. not your broke ass, still worrying about how to buy food for next month. - posts asking you to care about [extreme injustice of the day] are speaking to people who HAVE energy to care. not you, hanging onto your sanity by the fingernails. and, most importantly: posts telling you that you are horrible/cheap/awful/rude/unworthy/unlikable if you don't pay/reblog/signal boost/care? those posts can die in a fucking fire. too long; didn't listen: posts asking for shit you are not physically or mentally able to give? THOSE POSTS ARE NOT FOR YOU.")
!["things are nice" yeah fucking... whatever. we can't keep shit normal for long. we're down for/from the silence, and time keeps us looking beyond. what happens next? what's "now" in the story? you're far from the last to [devour/use hours]. you think we haven't been fighting this fight since forever? moloch doesn't win. who but [yo/you]? [next page] I've never had a people. I have always missed them. who cares for the poor? family cares for child, church for the devoted, the world for, who? fill in the blanks. fuckin' ask chatGPT to make it longer. add text between the words. who are we but the worthy? who else is there? the [words await / world awaits] a dose of luck.](/similar-different/media/b88c9a7575a18e1e.jpeg "\"things are nice\" yeah fucking... whatever. we can't keep shit normal for long. we're down for/from the silence, and time keeps us looking beyond. what happens next? what's \"now\" in the story? you're far from the last to [devour/use hours]. you think we haven't been fighting this fight since forever? moloch doesn't win. who but [yo/you]? [next page] I've never had a people. I have always missed them. who cares for the poor? family cares for child, church for the devoted, the world for, who? fill in the blanks. fuckin' ask chatGPT to make it longer. add text between the words. who are we but the worthy? who else is there? the [words await / world awaits] a dose of luck.")
![my luck makes me. why would I assume that I'd get better at what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm stopping what I'm doing because doing what I'm doing stops me doing what I need to be doing. [next page] what if we just stopped going to work and didn't leave our houses what if we just made it happen what if we just made our heaven a better world is possible. a better world is within reach. for the children of tomorrow, all we need is the meek. where are they? do they sleep or know?](/similar-different/media/f7716aa43bf68e76.jpeg "my luck makes me. why would I assume that I'd get better at what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm doing if I stopped doing what I'm stopping what I'm doing because doing what I'm doing stops me doing what I need to be doing. [next page] what if we just stopped going to work and didn't leave our houses what if we just made it happen what if we just made our heaven a better world is possible. a better world is within reach. for the children of tomorrow, all we need is the meek. where are they? do they sleep or know?")
![If you don't stop traffic, your protest doesn't matter. If you don't ask every window if maybe your ideas could come in. If your parade doesn't knock on every door, asking them to join in. "hey, wanna play? we're playing catch in the road. say, do you know anyone in a different town? wanna knock on the door of all of your kin? it's a better world tomorrow, and everyone can come in." [next page] Did you know that nothing's that real if you're not afraid of it? what are they gonna do, shoot you? for what, not moving your shit to the side of the road? you like it where it's at, that's why you put it there, so fuck off if you'd rather it's unprotected. The sun and the rain and the cold and the maned all demand that our stuff is on hallowed ground - the kind which walls all surround.](/similar-different/media/a8903f64077a3c8b.jpeg "If you don't stop traffic, your protest doesn't matter. If you don't ask every window if maybe your ideas could come in. If your parade doesn't knock on every door, asking them to join in. \"hey, wanna play? we're playing catch in the road. say, do you know anyone in a different town? wanna knock on the door of all of your kin? it's a better world tomorrow, and everyone can come in.\" [next page] Did you know that nothing's that real if you're not afraid of it? what are they gonna do, shoot you? for what, not moving your shit to the side of the road? you like it where it's at, that's why you put it there, so fuck off if you'd rather it's unprotected. The sun and the rain and the cold and the maned all demand that our stuff is on hallowed ground - the kind which walls all surround.")
![And yet they'd cast us out. How rude. Well, I'm not afraid of you. what are YOU gonna do? what if I didn't pay my rent and never got a job and just helped out wherever I could find a friendly nod. "oh hey ho've ya been okay what are we working on here?" don't see nothin? start somethin" anarchy is fun. bullets less so. [next page] most jobs are bullshit. If dollars suddenly didn't exist but people kept doing what they were doing, people would work like twice a week. Me? more or less, who can say, depends on how I did feel that day. I tend to burn out. what if I didn't go to work for a month? "oh no my stakeholder value" get over yourself. your games do hold value. act like life is on the line. (off in the corner) "... hello?"](/similar-different/media/aad92468eb4fec27.jpeg "And yet they'd cast us out. How rude. Well, I'm not afraid of you. what are YOU gonna do? what if I didn't pay my rent and never got a job and just helped out wherever I could find a friendly nod. \"oh hey ho've ya been okay what are we working on here?\" don't see nothin? start somethin\" anarchy is fun. bullets less so. [next page] most jobs are bullshit. If dollars suddenly didn't exist but people kept doing what they were doing, people would work like twice a week. Me? more or less, who can say, depends on how I did feel that day. I tend to burn out. what if I didn't go to work for a month? \"oh no my stakeholder value\" get over yourself. your games do hold value. act like life is on the line. (off in the corner) \"... hello?\"")
![I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. [sorry, ran out of characters]](/similar-different/media/318d54508234275f.png "I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. \"you get out of it what you put into it\" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. \"most people don't need trigonometry.\" that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. [sorry, ran out of characters]")