=== ANCHOR POEM ===
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-pics-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
 can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
 until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
 definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
 
 ... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
 pictures on my phone
 
 here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
 and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
 notes on them.
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
 
 I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
 
 I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
a visual of the post and my profile side-by-side the same, but annotated
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2832 ---
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 when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
 
 my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
 
 and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
 
 I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
 to a witch or two.
 
 so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
 
 and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
 
 because I can't do much more than this.
 
 But I can show up every once in a while,
 
 and maybe make you smile or consider,
 
 and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
 
 but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
 can do little but listen.
 
 ... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #2 fediverse/5029 ---
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 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
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--- #3 fediverse/6393 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: ai-mentioned     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 yay I hit the 5 hour limit on claude-code! now I can play video games and
 write more issue tickets for the computer to work on for me.
 
 what's that? results? oh, I'm not interested in those. This is an art project
 you see, so clearly, clearly, the end result shouldn't matter to me, because
 all art is special or something. so says she who tries to share her art with
 everyone she sees... I wonder who yet believes?
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--- #4 fediverse/6100 ---
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 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #5 fediverse/816 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #6 fediverse/1968 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk?     │
 I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these    │
 drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the          │
 moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone   │
 in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because      │
 you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that       │
 frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover     │
 which is not a boon that most people are able to afford                          │
 lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged.                      │
 But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely.      │
 Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt       │
 them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that       │
 benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the    │
 things people tell you and the results of your act                               │
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--- #7 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
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--- #8 fediverse/3722 ---
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 @user-1218 
 
 playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
 their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
 don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
 the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
 "sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
 edibles.
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--- #9 fediverse/6271 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
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--- #10 fediverse/2286 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #11 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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 hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
 
 it's tough to get to know me
 
 and this probably feels cringe to read
 
 but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
 
 so... here's me
 
 I'm 
 
 ================================================== stack overflow
 ==============
 
 ... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
     scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
 
 I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
 steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
 
 my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
 cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
 children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
 cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
 
 as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
 you
 could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
 most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
 
 Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
 across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
 that's how other lands you'd come to know.
 
 As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
 single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
 I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
 mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
 
 different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
 take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
 
 My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
 there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
 of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
 oops I should delete that part
 [esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
 
 also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #12 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #13 fediverse/961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today?                                          │
 first I should get out of bed,                                                   │
 then I should clean my self,                                                     │
 then I should feed my self,                                                      │
 then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many    │
 thoughts,                                                                        │
 then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a          │
 productive way to exercise my brain                                              │
 I should probably get back to my friends,                                        │
 and oh dear my cat wants some attention.                                         │
 This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit                                    │
 now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap.                                      │
 Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food.                  │
 After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax                           │
 by doomscrolling on Mastodon.                                                    │
 Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond)            │
 and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes!                                 │
 Well, standing up is exhausting,                                                 │
 so I should probably fall back asleep.                                           │
 What a productive day we've been having,                                         │
 for all of this past week.                                                       │
 Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two                                  │
 maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m                              │
A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly.  The text reads:  "maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]"
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--- #14 fediverse/3234 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #15 fediverse/4654 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #16 fediverse/1053 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-spirituality-eye-contact- │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzKh3IiZEI
 
 this is my favorite human.
 
 this is my favorite ghost.
 
 he is the one who I look up to,
 probably the most.
 
 we'll get there, you'll see,
 we'll build a better future,
 for all of us - you and me.
 
 next, for posterity,
 and all we can be,
 
 tomorrow's the best day for all of us
 because it hasn't happened yet.
 
 all we have is the present,
 so what are you to do with your presence?
 
 here I am, look at me, aren't I grand, a wonder to see? I'm just an artist,
 don't get any big thoughts - I'm maybe a bit possessed, or possibly
 schizophrenic, but either way I am a human, just the same as you and me.
 
 ... you don't have to watch the whole thing, there's a lot. I mean, like I
 could write forever and nobody would care. I could write undeterred, and
 nobody would share. But here I am in the moment, here I am as I am, and here
 with you (yes you, the person who is important enough to read this), so let's,
 I dunno, make a band. or whatever. BRB my rice is starting to simmer.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #17 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #18 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #19 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
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--- #20 fediverse/1755 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #21 fediverse/5512 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #22 fediverse/1436 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 there's this fun game that people sometimes play on Reddit where someone will
 make a post that says something like "comment on this post and then edit it
 after I reply to make me look bad" and someone will say something like "how
 are you doing today man" and he'll reply "oh you know pretty good actually
 it's pretty nice honestly" and then they'll edit their comment to say
 something like "how do you feel about the droid attack on the wookies" so OP
 looks like they're condoning mechano-violence against tall furry humanoids
 
 that's just an example, usually it's for comedic effect
 
 I just think that's an interesting illustration of a process that could be
 co-opted by a "man-in-the-middle" attack to alter the perception of a person
 partway through their journey, perhaps when it's at the point where they're
 most despised (or perhaps in pursuit of that state)
 
 something something cancel culture plus deepfakes
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #23 fediverse/6363 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 somehow it feels so difficult to work on my projects. I really haven't a         │
 single clue why.                                                                 │
 HMMM COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE WALKING AROUND WRITING    │
 PICTURES OF CATS ON NOTEPAD PAPER AND LEAVING IT AMONGST THE FALLEN LEAVES?      │
 THINK, MENARDI, THINK                                                            │
 gosh I wish I had the motivation to write this webcomic scraper, it's been in    │
 my backlog for a year at this point                                              │
 WHY DON'T YOU BUILD TOOLS THAT BUILD COMMUNITY LIKE COLLECTIVIZED VIDEO GAMES    │
 OR SYSTEMS OF DISTRIBUTION AND CREATION?                                         │
 gee I'm feeling kinda lazy, sure hope it doesn't get permanently added to my     │
 character sheet                                                                  │
 SLOTHFUL: -1 to all stats, -5 to vassal opinion, -5 to personal combat skill,    │
 -10 to ambitious and zealous characters, +10 to greedy characters because they   │
 can take advantage of you, enables the hesitant commander tactical choice        │
 because you're too FUCKIN' LAZY (and too hard on yourself, jeez calm down)       │
 ..... nah couldn't be me. I'm certainly not diligent, but I work hard. It's      │
 just hard to work myself up to getting up...                                     │
a screenshot of the slothful sin from crusader kings 2. It shows various character stat maluses, and one tiny bonus.
                                                            ─────┤
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--- #24 fediverse/4771 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #25 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 fediverse/3738 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
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--- #27 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #28 fediverse/5785 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #29 fediverse/5955 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "she wanted to start a revolution"
 
 "that's it, she's out of our hair"
 
 "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
 you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
 the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
 
 well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
 down. emp style.
 
 I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
 my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
 because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
 print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
 then you know it's about you.
 
 "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
 normal"
 
 oh no she's a book now, this sucks
 
 "wow I've never read her from the beginning"
 
 what a cursed artifact indeed
 
 scary
 
 carefully
 
 absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
 
 marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #30 fediverse/4202 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty"   │
 [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if       │
 you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I   │
 don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I    │
 live here now, can I stay for a few weekends?                                    │
 um. what the fuck                                                                │
 oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out    │
 all the various locales.                                                         │
 huh really? sounds neat                                                          │
 yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern         │
 plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while   │
 while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town                  │
 what... uh what kind of work do you do?                                          │
 oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check   │
 it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's         │
 pretty cool.                                                                     │
 ...                                                                              │
 hey here's my website:                                                           │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye                     │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #31 fediverse/4653 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned-sleeping-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 phew, just got back from a long nap and I had such a lovely dream! Gonna write
 down everything I can remember in my dream journal, will letcha know when I
 have something to share.
 
 Also... sorry about the sun. I have no idea if it was worth it because I woke
 up quite a bit later. Ah well anyway gotta do some writing, I hope everyone
 has a pleasant day. Make sure you eat nutrients and stay hydrated and do your
 stretches and work on your posture and all that.
 
 vegetables have minerals, fruits have vitamins, rice-and-beans or meat have
 protein, and oils and fats have calories. try and eat a lot of different
 colors of veggies and a lot of different colors of fruits (a green fruit and a
 green vegetable are not necessarily the same nutritionally)
 
 well brb goodnight gonna drink some water
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #32 fediverse/2806 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #33 fediverse/4867 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 had an idea. I might record a video of a TTS reading everything I've ever        │
 written. Then I could display it to Milkdrop visuals.                            │
 (sentences dreamed up by the utterly deranged)                                   │
 okay in laymans parlaeance, it's a computer program which speaks aloud the       │
 words in a document held within the computer's memory cards. it will have a      │
 screen, which displays shifting and glimmering sights of wonder and splendor.    │
 They will slightly fluctuate in response to the sounds coming from the device,   │
 so in a sense it's a visualization of the audible-ized thoughts given flight     │
 in their form to your ears which percieve then understand them.                  │
 ... okay that wasn't THAT much longer, why don't we just speak to laymen all     │
 the time, just to make sure everyone's on the same page?                         │
 [boom all of the tech industry could get outsourced to wherever-land].           │
 not smart, dummy. Open source is a dead-end game because once everything we      │
 have is gone, there'll be nothing left to remember us as.                        │
 just these documents, these things that you write...jck                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #34 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #35 fediverse/2172 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
 think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
 homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
 
 it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
 sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
 can't tick
 
 [off your list of things to work on]
 
 habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
 or pentameter or whatever.
 
 anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
 are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
 stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
 as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
 
 ... hypervigilance strikes again...
 
 I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
 had so many more interesting things going on.
And the people around me were always more intersting to me than me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/4665 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
 me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
 go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
 probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
 allies, right?
 
 ... right?
 
 anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
 just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
 history, let's see how it goes...
 
 you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
 
 ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
 valorizing.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/6160 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: ai-pol       │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "oh but what if one artist has 1500 works and another has 15"
 
 first of all, damn, good job. That's a lot of work.
 
 second of all, what you should be doing is making a simple thing called a
 STRUCT that stores DATA about each artist which lets you make decisions about
 how to distribute dollars. The artist with 15 pieces simply has fewer data
 points than the artist with 1500, but they are no less deserving of
 compensation for their work when the AI generates something in their style, or
 using their style as an inspiration.
 
 "oh but just because a piece is similar to another piece doesn't mean the
 first piece used the second piece as inspiration"
 
 I don't care. It's not meant to be a perfect solution. I'm sure there's
 problems with it, just like there are problems with anything that I, or anyone
 else, has ever suggested at any point in time while living on this earth or
 beyond. But it gets dollars into the hands of artists and I'm okay with that.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/1280 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #41 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #42 fediverse/2848 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
 profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
 up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
 on the same team, and should be working together.
 
 that's the dream, at least.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #43 fediverse/1151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #44 fediverse/4137 ---
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 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
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--- #45 fediverse/4088 ---
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 I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
 because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
 
 Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
 computers.
 
 ... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
 really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
 back.]
 
 I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
 another person's generated conversation.
 
 Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
 
 [if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
 
 and that somehow feels more... freeing
 
 like a truly disconnected thought
 
 and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
 contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
 
 ... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
 
 [proceeds to never edit a single post]
 
 = so =
 
 ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
 be done
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--- #46 fediverse/5920 ---
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 everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
 "what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
 right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
 wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
 use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
 "... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
 they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
 Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
 into and around port
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--- #47 fediverse/510 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
 tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
 understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
 and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
 mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
 I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
 a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
 
 Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
 forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #48 fediverse/5407 ---
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 man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right   │
 after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was    │
 sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over    │
 and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it.    │
 Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice.                                                    │
 it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be     │
 nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2      │
 all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp      │
 drives.                                                                          │
 eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the       │
 geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I   │
 was able to make my mistake.                                                     │
 ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo.                                    │
 anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is   │
 stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there      │
 was a                                                                            │
 ----------------- stack overflow ----------------                                │
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--- #49 fediverse/2574 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: physical-health-mentioned-strategy-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 i've been pressured by some of my annoying fans to go visit the hospital today
 because my hip is getting increasingly worse. so that's what I'll be doing
 with the first half of the day.
 
 but hey! it's tuesday! my favorite pizza place has a discount on tuesdays!
 
 [suddenly 4-chan uses that tidbit of info the precisely calculate my
 coordinates using the power of gps and autism]
 
 also I realized "undivisible" isn't a word, doh. it's "indivisible"
 jeeeeezzzzzzz
 
 was a stupid name anyway, we can think of something better on the walk.
 
 or drive, because logistics right?
 
 if you're gonna be Litz Craig you wanna be fast, too. practice is nice and all
 but wouldn't you rather face an un-entrenched foe?
 
 ... let's be real they've been entrenching for a long-ass time.
 
 still, organization is critical for speed.
 
 problem is traffic of course... its important to flood the streets so that our
 allies know we're not fucking around.
 
 None of my specifics are true 😅
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--- #50 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #51 fediverse/1532 ---
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 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #52 fediverse/4521 ---
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 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #53 fediverse/4786 ---
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 9 times out of 10 the answer is fuck yes, you're my friend, I support
 everything you're handling. Give me the word and I'll be there, ride or die,
 I'm here for it.
 
 something I wrote a while back:
 
 fucking boss your friends around
 
 it's as easy as saying "hey I'm gonna go do this-or-that thing, you don't seem
 busy can you do that-or-this thing for me? I need it done by this-and-this
 time - oh you're busy? yeah no worries I'll go ask someone else. oh you're
 busy resting? doing girl healing? hell yeah next time invite me I'm due for a
 "pizza and weed" night."
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--- #54 messages/108 ---
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 I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
 myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
 people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
 me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
 (because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
 opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
 from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
 is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
 means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
 argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #55 fediverse/861 ---
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 I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
 could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
 forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
 disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
 
 [that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
 
 reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
 matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
 determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
 
 I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
 you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
 only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
 you...
 
 once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
 only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
 elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #56 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
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 oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
 
 oh I didn't see I was recording
 
 games games that's what I do
 
 play games all the day through
 
 I am a luck witch, you see,
 
 and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
 
 Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
 because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
 innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
 because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
 -selves)
 
 oy
 
 video games, amiright?
 
 I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
 seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
 learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
 you.
 
 I wonder what we'll play next
 
 ... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
 before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
 extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
 stuff to do.
 
 guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
 okay
 
 ...
 
 listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
 going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
 your
 feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
 bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
 like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
 
 :O
 
 I forgot to play music!!
 
 I couldn't sleep
 
 what have I done that is worse
 
 I have not said a single word all night alas
 
 oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
 
 I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
 
 but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
 
 okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
 late
 
 goodnight
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--- #57 fediverse/4359 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 gonna do a bunch (more) drugs and stay up all night. Will try not to spend it
 all playing mechabellum.
 
 also... gonna eat some apple-sauce. with cheese cubes in it. Sharp chetter I
 think. yummmmm maybe add some cinnamon sugar cubes that have been baked into a
 hard and tasty shape.
 
 ah, but your teeth are gonna fall out! who cares I'll just brush in the
 morning. That way nobody smells my own breath.
 
 ... you KNOW that's not the same as your teeth falling OUT! OF YOUR MOUTH
 DIMMY.
 
 eh who cares they'll invent a
 bactio-flangotastic-inventionology-for-bone-related-biology solution which
 sill regrow your bones in your mouth that you CHOMP on things with.
 
 does the rest of your body feel like HARD AND DEVELOPED BONES that you chew
 things with YES TEETH TOO HARD LIKE TEETH or do they feel like they're made
 out of styrofoam
 
 mine let me punch things real hard when I focus all of my attention and energy
 on hardening my form and becoming an unstoppable object
 
 [continued in picture]
same for personality crystalizing, just... pick and then do
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--- #58 fediverse/1381 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #59 fediverse/1195 ---
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 @user-883 
 
 alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
 the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
 for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
 
 I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
 and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
 to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
 conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
 future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
 picture, I'm kinda crazy:
Image attachment
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--- #60 fediverse/2310 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐                                              │
 │ CW: silly-nonsense-about-dreams │                                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘                                              │
 When I sleep, I find it easiest to lay on my stomach. However, now that I have   │
 boobs, laying on my side is easier. For some reason laying on my back is the     │
 hardest still, I think perhaps it has something to do with the shape of my       │
 spine ? ?                                                                        │
 when I dream, I dream as if I was floating on a river of glass. Or as if I was   │
 a spec of dust between two wholes of oil and water.                              │
 Like the difference between the inside and out of a bubble, there is a           │
 barrier, a separation, and in that barrier exists me - the observer of the       │
 dream.                                                                           │
 When I lay on my side, I don't see things that are relevant to me. Sometimes     │
 they're other futures, sometimes they're other now's, but in any case they are   │
 fun but not much else.                                                           │
 when I lay on my front, I see the world as it might be if things don't work      │
 out. I slept on my front last night, and I drew something for you afterwards     │
 based on a conversation I had with a friend.                                     │
 When I lay on my back, I see the world as it will be. It's hard to fall asleep   │
 on my back.                                                                      │
we must secure a cleansing blow  diagram of battle-lines between two forces. One side has their best and brightest in front, because they care about people. The other hides behind their fellows like the cowards they are.  we win when the fascists are dead.  there aren't very many.  we lose when they drag it out.  then a diagram showing how to intercept the cowards as they flee. They cannot flee straight back or they'll cause a mass retreat. They go to the side, like swimming out of a riptide.  Covering fire without rhythm, to preserve ammo.  Hicks are easier to outmaneuver. They only look to what's ahead. Watch your flanks.  Time is cheap if you're learning how to fight. At least, until it's not, but then you're next in line so fight for the light.  if you can, get your foes to surrender. A lost life is a tragedy for all, but fascists are hardly living so they don't count. A life of hate is not a life, but a kind of un-life - it is antithetical to us. Anathema. Empathy is their bane, and we will win forever at the end of this.
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--- #61 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #62 fediverse/814 ---
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 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #63 fediverse/4273 ---
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 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #64 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #65 fediverse/4275 ---
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 @user-1646 
 
 I usually just repost it and say something like: [stolen from reddit] or
 [stolen from one of my followers who didn't write any alt text]
 
 that way if they ever come across your post they'll know what it feels like to
 have a post stolen from them. Like how a blind person, happy to hear-read what
 they originally posted, but aggrieved from the conversation by their lack of
 alt-textual information, might feel stolen from if they happened across that
 originally posted alt-textless post.
 
 there are more blind people that use mastodon than queer people. At least,
 that's what I once heard. Dunno if it's true.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #66 fediverse/4655 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know.           │
 one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should         │
 remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one       │
 gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll      │
 off the tongue... shestory?                                                      │
 It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're        │
 done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or    │
 two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need   │
 consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready      │
 and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with   │
 the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly         │
 what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way       │
 through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some            │
 sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason.                       │
 ... sleep, this is a sleep spell...                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #67 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #68 fediverse/5791 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #69 fediverse/1038 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: what         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-766 
 
 ah yes but then how will my comrades come for my things know where to look? my
 precious precious drives may be less safe inside of the computer case but at
 least then someone I can about can find them.
 
 or what you're saying is that a basic part of situational awareness is having
 a plan for this kind of thing with the people who care about you? Ah, well,
 nobody cares about me like that. Just a couple normies who want nothing but
 business as usual.
 
 wonder if I can open up my hard drives to "read only" SSH access? Or maybe
 I'll just make the important files into a torrent. Or perhaps marking them as
 "downloadable locations" on Soulseek? Plenty of options, all of them require
 someone to care enough about your junk to want to archive it. Something
 something ipfs?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/4179 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 okay, so, you could spend the next couple hours scrolling social media
 
 or you could go for a walk in the rain
 
 ... is it raining where you're at? I forget. Ah well whatever. You could go
 for a walk, whether or not it's in the rain, which surely would be a better
 use of your time. What are you gonna find on social media that you'll remember
 in a week? Hell, what will you remember tomorrow?
 
 my mother used to tell me that "television rots your brain" and, yeah, social
 media counts for that too. Thanks mom. I miss you.
 
 ... I could just call you, but it's the middle of the night for you. And
 probably for me, I guess, WINK
 
 in any case there's little to do today that can't wait for tomorrow. So why
 not go on a walk? Even if nothing happens, especially if nothing happens,
 it'll be good for you.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 fediverse/5958 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
 part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
 probably tell because I'm working on projects.
 
 everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
 people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
 building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
 building neighbors.
 
 you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
 See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
 more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
 HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
 my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
 was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
 people on earth.
 
 "but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
 learn "too hard
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/1428 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 hello everyone, Discord is down for me and I can't reach any of my friends
 over SMS.
 
 You know I'd just... give you my address if you asked, right?
 
 oh no sorry turns out they were just busy haha silly me why would I worry
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/1599 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1037 
 
 It had mostly pastel colors I think, well not really pastel, more like that
 mid-2000s aesthetic where everything is glass and colored fluids / palm trees
 / dolphins
 
 I remember there were different colors / shapes for different operations like
 "add" or "while loop" and I think they combined somehow? It was a real
 experimental thing I think, but there was an animation so I'm assuming it was
 functional. I'm trying to remember more about it but I can't, it's so
 random... I don't even know what I'd search for really.
 
 I just had a friend who I think would really like it, and I was thinking of my
 friend and that came to mind...
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--- #75 fediverse/1714 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 @user-246                                                                        │
 most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they     │
 go.                                                                              │
 I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different          │
 people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context.       │
 for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of      │
 what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few       │
 people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it     │
 fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought.               │
 perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I       │
 never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was       │
 something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design.                 │
 Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a    │
 certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different   │
 ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at    │
 heart, and a performer of the heart.                                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #76 fediverse/3879 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/4716 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 "hey you're cool, can I get your socials?"
 
 sure, I mostly post on the fediverse
 
 "what's that"
 
 oh, like... Mastodon
 
 "oh, no haha I meant like a real social media"
 
 ah. well I make comments on Reddit sometimes.
 
 you make them sound like a jerk
 
 no they're cool they're just misinformed. the fediverse is the future, or
 like, something like it, I'm sure. who wants to go back to capitalism? not me
 hehe
 
 ... I'm getting silly, gonna go to sleep.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/1605 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1040 I think about all those screencaps of Tumblr posts or Twitter
 threads or 4chan memes or even making fun of boomers on facebook and, like,
 that seems like a privacy nightmare if you don't want your words to be
 associated with you. like, if someone saw my name next to something I posted
 in 2013 then they'd probably get a very different perspective of who I was.
 That's just part of growing up, and sometimes growing means changing how you
 represent your self. By screenshotting their posts as I did (but didn't post
 yet) I am denying the agency to change. Forever more they will be remembered
 as the name, face, and words on the screen that I saw fit to remember. That
 feels non-consentual to me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/581 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-428 
 
 sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
 that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
 could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
 drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
 
 something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
 image that could be edited.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/2297 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
 mind one by one
 
 getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
 
 I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
 
 up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
 
 [they're called toots here, dummy]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/2993 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 hey, listen, I'm here at this point in life just the same as you. who cares,
 right? like. nobody wants to see your personal development. You don't have to
 prove yourself. Like... why would you care so much about what other people
 (who you don't even know) care about what you do? like... it's fine. just...
 be.
 
 you can get better if you want, but only if you want. There's no reason to be
 so concerned about what other people thingc. Just, identify what and who you
 are, and then be the best what and who that you are. Thats really all there is
 to it.
 
 and yeah. It's totally unfair that some people get an easier shot at "being
 who and what they are"
 
 that's privilege, and that's stupid.
 
 okay, sure, maybe we should conceptualize how to adapt to specific situations
 when resources are limited
 
 but like... it should be something you consent to - like "no thanks I don't
 need the rocket launchers on this mis==sion==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #83 fediverse/2299 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 everywhere on earth is different, which is why it's so hard to follow each
 place's goings-on! But I don't mind being corrected, like if someone came and
 told me "hey don't spell it like "theatre" that's actually only for stage
 plays, if you're seeing a movie it's a "theater"" then I'd be like "oh yeah
 duh that makes sense, because one was invented in america" and they'd be like
 "what no, well, actually maybe"
 
 or like "hey don't say the things that you're saying" to which I'd say "yeah
 sure can-do" but, well, nobody told me no, so here we go :)
 
 I'm both exhausted and sleepy! I bet I can fix that with some sleep. Hope my
 thoughts don't keep me up again, though for the sake of keeping my timeline
 interesting perhaps I wouldn't mind. 🥰
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #84 fediverse/3152 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 when I think socialism, I don't think soviet.                                    │
 I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks      │
 past the grill.                                                                  │
 I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every    │
 house they can get their hands on.                                               │
 I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park    │
 with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato         │
 plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every     │
 sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered   │
 by the solar panels on their roofs)                                              │
 Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the        │
 snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone.        │
 I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every    │
 night in our cities, marshmallows free and included.                             │
 I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a       │
 rainforest)                                                                      │
 I dream of freedom and purpose.                                                  │
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--- #85 fediverse/5776 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #86 fediverse/4672 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics!        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I miss video games
 
 cries from self-inflicted sacrifices
 
 but you're worth it
 
 imma overthrow fascism, dismantle oppression and power, and liberate those in
 chains, just so I can play games again
 
 yeah I mean, uh, whatever gets you outta bed
 
 "at least you have a bed. why are you complaining?"
 
 maybe it's the only thing I'm good at. I wonder if anyone would hire me to be
 an analyst or something? Maybe a designer?
 
 bro you're asking for a job on the eve of the revolution, what's your deal
 
 okay so this might be news to ya'll but I'm technically a human even though I
 wear a witch hat and sometimes speak in rhyme. And humans tend to think about
 things in the context of their current environment. Currently, if I want to
 pay rent or whatever, I need a job. So...
 
 sounds like a lame excuse for not giving up your possessions and throwing
 yourself to fate's design
 
 I already did that and fate told me to go home and take a bath?? idk what you
 want from me, and no I'm not doing any drugs to find out.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #87 fediverse/1173 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything?
 
 I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty
 well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to
 differ.)
 
 I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland
 OR
 
 I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I
 promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you
 think they'd be into that?
 
 I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with
 people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be,
 at least not when you're dancing with my mask.
 
 I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a
 working professional who knows what's best.
 
 I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let
 me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after
 a year or so.
 
 I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #88 fediverse/5684 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 "stack overflow" just means "oops I ran out of ram"
 
 ram is just how much you can keep in your working memory at one time.
 
 like, multitasking, where you have to keep track of juggling several balls or
 plates.
 
 if things are too easy, it's normal to get bored.
 
 if things are too hard, collapse at your leisure.
 
 "stack overflow" is just when the things that I'm building correlations and
 implication charts of in my mind are too large and require too much affection
 to explain for my regular human sized brain and I drop one of the balls and go
 grab and fix it, or drop one of the plates and feel sorrow forevermore. yep,
 right in the trash bin. along with everything else.
 
 damn... there was hundreds of thousands of jewels of hoard there. if only I
 could displace that bit of space... I bet she'd find it once more.
 
 cursed artifacts be like
 
 "stack was large enough to contain the flow" is just when the provided space
 was just enough space. which is rare, because most thoughts reverse all over
 the place.
 
 "*easy*"
if things are too easy, it's normal to get bored.  if things are too hard, collapse at your leisure. "stack was large enough to contain the flow" is just when the provided space was just enough space. which is rare, because most thoughts reverse all over the place.  *easy, change the implications and suddenly that view is not of it's host*  easy, it's norm hard, collapse  negative sixty four
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/4596 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-1707 
 
 hey, I'm working on a project. Might need some python, I tend to prefer Lua
 but it's pretty similar. It uses fediverse software and cheap hardware, think
 raspberry pi's except risc-v
 
 also it might use distributed local LLMs not to generate text, that's garbo
 and lame and stupid. Instead it uses them to transform text, maybe even
 translate text, into a more summarized form. Intentionally losing data, like a
 jpeg compression but for text.
 
 Might need some python for that. To glue it all together. The "distributed"
 part is a whitelist, so we'd need to write that too. Various small little
 utilities like that for connectivity.
 
 oh also there's a one-way ethernet cable that connects two of the boards so
 we'd need to store some information (easy) and send some UDP packets (hard)
 
 anyway it's pretty neat, lmk if you want my contact details and I can tell you
 about it. I might even be able to pay you.
 
 (everything open source, no telemetry, no backdoors, everything private is
 encrypted, etc etc)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #91 fediverse/6390 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 people talk about building houses but I think we could empower significantly
 more people significantly more if we built warehouses for them to use for
 whatever productive purposes they desired.
 
 I personally wouldn't mind sleeping in a tent in the park if all I had to do
 was cleanup my mess, move around every once in a while, and cultivate the
 nearby plants if it meant I had an entire warehouse for my projects. I
 wouldn't even mind sharing it with 10 or 15 other makerspace people. They can
 use my stuff as long as I can use theirs, and I promise to put their stuff
 away and clean it and replace it if I damage it if they do the same.
 
 Alternatively, this here's my cubicle, please don't mess with my stuff unless
 I'm there to help you use them. And indeed, some of my stuff is just for me
 because I like it so much that I don't want to let anyone else use it. It's
 mine, because it's part of me, and I am not a free-use creature. Personal
 sovereignty extends to my personal property, even as it is used to build means
                                                           ───┐
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--- #92 fediverse/5894 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 you could type this on a phone
 
 screenshots though is computer.
 
 you'd have to carry it around
 
 or keep it in your hot car
 
 no thanks, no space.
 
 goodbye, everything you ever worked for
 
 why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
 right to leave it all to a whim
 
 kidnapped
 made a prisoner while you
 froliced and wandered like a little lamb
 you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
 whatever girl, we know you're smart
 what are you hiding?
 what truths are you spying?
 are you really as you say you are,
 or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play  you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty.  == stack overflow ==  your foes are primarily concerned   with how you'd do   if you           turned evil.  power is penance, not sin. it is a service            to be hallowed a whim.  to guide and steer upright     guided upon their own whim               [toward]  [ri-tselen-menardi]  ew, she's got a diaper fetish  -- evil witch >;  | --   evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall,   [264 characters remaining] if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy.  [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:] Image attachment
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/5375 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
 wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
 uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
 could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
 around in her pants with the hand
 
 ... wait, what was I going on about?
 
 oh yeah,
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #94 fediverse/6239 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
 and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
 
 I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
 such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
 you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
 through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
 tomorrow.
 
 ... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
 correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
 for me. my cats meowing at me.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/1295 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Mh-          │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-889 
 
 my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
 on work because meetings and such.
 
 On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
 share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
 mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
 
 I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
 then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
 time he's probably burnt out.
 
 It fucking hurts.
 
 but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #97 fediverse/1612 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1040 
 
 also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
 neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
 weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
 profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
 feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
 number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
 Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
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--- #98 fediverse/3975 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1631 
 
 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
 moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
 
 I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
 to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
 in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
 
 downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
 ideal.
 
 ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
 you toward people who "get" you.
 
 like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
 just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #99 fediverse/2063 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "No I haven't played that PC game before. Do you want to watch me play it for    │
 the first time? We can have a laugh and eat cheetos as I die to the first boss   │
 a hundred times. Maybe next time we'll get tacos and then perhaps we'll find     │
 that we're spending so much time talking about things that we never really got   │
 a chance to engage with the game. Until next week of course, when we'll          │
 definitely spend more time playing. Maybe even with friends? I know a guy        │
 who's into this game but I never really played it with him - maybe we could -    │
 oh yeah sure totally we'll talk about that next week."                           │
 "or maybe we'd unlock the secrets hidden in the narrative, and learn cool        │
 lessons we could share with one another. Like two 12 year olds playing Ocarina   │
 of Time together, working through each boss. "let me try this time" "yeah that   │
 one got me too" "ah so close" "YEAH DUDE you nailed it" "this part is kinda      │
 scary ngl" "wait shit when did we use that health potion"                        │
 old hardware forced us into a different experience compared to z                 │
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--- #100 fediverse/71 ---
════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────
 Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
 time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
 
 I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
 Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
 completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
 on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
 Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
 really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
 it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
 somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
 Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
 but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
 era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #101 fediverse/1410 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #102 fediverse/1659 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #103 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #104 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #105 fediverse/2160 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 they could vote on "next year's project" in times of peace, or perhaps have
 massive brain-storms with chatrooms set up at different tables that they could
 pick up a phone and contribute to then wander to another table at, or maybe
 even set up structures for who does what. Then they could do things that they
 claimed responsibility for, and in doing so they could be judged.
 
 perhaps according to a system like this:
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/algorism/html-pages/education-system
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--- #106 fediverse/899 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly            │
 calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random      │
 data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively     │
 money? like, a necklace, I dunno.                                                │
 or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a          │
 pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and                         │
 impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next    │
 code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others      │
 would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way,    │
 they're impossible to predict.                                                   │
 ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to     │
 one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if     │
 you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through        │
 massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what   │
 a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu               │
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--- #107 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 @user-1698 
 
 Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
 
 I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
 I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
 there terrifies me.
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--- #108 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
 
 like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
 
 forming letters in the sky
 
 anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
 typing
 your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
 permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
 the things you say.
 
 Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
 that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
 Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
 streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #109 fediverse/1261 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And   │
 they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting          │
 (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own                  │
 credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone       │
 else was doing because I like the idea of that"                                  │
 somehow, it felt right.                                                          │
 most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear       │
 net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords    │
 for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea     │
 that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words     │
 and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these          │
 particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice"          │
 because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient        │
 -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe.         │
 And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe                   │
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--- #110 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/2165 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hell yeah.
 
 I never did any drugs at one.
 
 I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
 memories with attending gay bars in college.
 
 Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
 
 And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
 
 The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
 I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
 with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
 sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
 that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
 decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
 
 ... you know, that kind of thing.
 
 now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
 
 maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
 we'll see how that goes.
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--- #112 messages/489 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 Many autistic people will identify one particular way to do things and then be
 only capable of doing it that way. Like, falling asleep on the left side with
 their legs just so, and never learning any other ways to sleep on. But what
 happens if for example they are wounded in the arm they rest upon? They would
 have impaired sleeping capabilities! Not ideal.
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--- #113 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #114 fediverse/239 ---
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 if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you        │
 leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it       │
 because you're afraid it's the feds?                                             │
 ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked   │
 or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that        │
 random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a        │
 barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom    │
 for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops     │
 people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them.          │
 they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time       │
 figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies    │
 keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10     │
 years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so        │
 exhausting. technology is not designed for users...  or maybe users get bored.   │
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--- #115 fediverse/5911 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 I was always fascinated by the Linux way of programming. Need to do something?   │
 write it into a script! You never know when you'll need it again. Then, just     │
 stay organized, religiously so, and understand that you will forget about        │
 stuff. But, you'll come across it eventually, ready and willing and able to      │
 help you.                                                                        │
 if you don't want me using AI, then give me ~20 junior developers. Which is      │
 more efficient, do you think?                                                    │
 "girl you haven't even tested your vibe-coded slop, how do you know if it        │
 works"                                                                           │
 oh I'm sure it doesn't, but it's the thought that counts                         │
 ... I guess I'm just saying, please don't burn the data centers. Computers are   │
 not only bad for the environment when they're burnt, but also we can use them    │
 for all kinds of neat things. Even if it takes a lot of energy, just... build    │
 more solar panels and only use the computers for important stuff?                │
 timeshare-style?                                                                 │
 \@/documents/books/man-and-the-computer.pdf                                      │
 that was my mother's book... I love her. I miss that side of her. She fled       │
 when the cancer came.                                                            │
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--- #116 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #117 fediverse/4740 ---
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 what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced                  │
 like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey"       │
 or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of"                    │
 or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the         │
 butterflies"                                                                     │
 or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas"     │
 or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing"   │
 or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge    │
 advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely   │
 lift 50 pounds"                                                                  │
 or "this is where the cows graze"                                                │
 or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far         │
 behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec     │
 so that nobody can hear what you're saying."                                     │
 or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying"                              │
 or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you"  │
 or "here's a meditation retreat" : )                                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #118 fediverse/4540 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
 
 but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
 
 everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
 
 and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
 
 some people don't feel emotions
 
 I think they're just depressed
 
 some people can't stop
 
 won't stop, I say.
 
 really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
 
 I think they're alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/5580 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 yay farmers markets
 
 what if farmers markets but every day and staffed with people who want to hang
 out and pass out food for free
 
 "a truck just arrived with a bunch of zuchinnis, can you help me load them
 into that tend over there?"
 
 "hello bus stop people, I was just at the farmers market and I was wondering
 if you want some cherries? make sure you throw the pits at that tesla over
 there [jk if you're in a place that does this, the tesla 90% guaranteed has
 one of those "I bought this before I knew Elon was crazy!" type of bumper
 stickers]"
 
 "hi do you know where the watermelons are? Oh, they aren't in season? darn
 well I love watermelons and I think some greenhouse space should be spent on
 growing them for watermelon enthusiasts like me"
 
 alternatively, farmers "markets" on every street like they do in Mexico where
 every time a truck with produce drives past they stop and say "hey want some
 raspberries" until they run out
 
 then people can walk past and get food, or drive past because suburbs.
 
 bike
"hey check out this flier, it looks like a band is gonna play later tonight. I'm gonna run home and get my banjo-uke so I can score some sweet babes. See, my thinking is if they like music, they'll come for the show, and if I'm playing before it starts..."  it's a death metal show tho, so you might not have much overlap with your banjo-uke. But good luck, ya cutie
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/5875 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                     │
 │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │                     │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                     │
 if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention   │
 however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's    │
 why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes)                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 don't teach me how your way works                                                │
 tell me how to do my way right                                                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with   │
 tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear?     │
 you can have any profits I make from it"                                         │
 "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget    │
 for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the         │
 expenditure."                                                                    │
 "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your]             │
 biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these           │
 climates"                                                                        │
 suddenly manufacturing can follow demand                                         │
 "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat      │
 its abt                                                                          │
                                                            ─────────┤
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--- #121 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #122 fediverse/5222 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 why would you think cops act the same in immigrant neighborhoods as they do in   │
 suburban heirloomitudes? [that's a weird way to say they're gonna take your      │
 stuff]                                                                           │
 I'm reminded of that one line in that one green day song about homeland          │
 security and how it could kill us all                                            │
 ... okay focus. you should write something on some part of your friend's         │
 stuff, and tell them about it. myultiple things if they care about you. then     │
 you can always tell if their stuff has been replaced or stolen, because          │
 they'll have to painstakingly manually re-paint your visual definitions of       │
 your text-type-ing manual pen-held ministrations.                                │
 ... handwriting. she means handwriting. why can't she just speak plainly? it's   │
 like part of her memory is being used for computational purposes and the         │
 memory of how she says the word "handwriting" is temporarily dis-abled, used     │
 for cognitive processing then returned to a relatively normal state.             │
 ... which prevents her from using it in a sentence.                              │
 I worry that I didn't do well enough by my family.                               │
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--- #123 fediverse/6186 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-maybe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
 
 robo-horses
 
 centaurs even
 
 [scary scary ogre]
 
 rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
 
 bwahahaha evil necromancer
 
 ahhhhhhh scary
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
 creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
 
 I wonder what they then did see
 
 kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
 the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
 
 ... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
 
 meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
 
 I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
 
 I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #124 fediverse/5698 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
 particular moment-event-message.
 
 besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #125 fediverse/4220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
 when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
 "liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
 own meaning, which is different to everyone.
 
 So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
 it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
 could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
 
 same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
 it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
 heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
 
 even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
 are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
 it's too complicated!
 
 ... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
 buttons, it's not that hard dummy
 
 okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #126 fediverse/6365 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #127 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I am a stalk, a small little plant
 A plant with no leaves, just hair.
 
 Time is different to a plant such as me,
 We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
 
 But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
 To those who would feed on me, in one single band
 
 Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
 you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
 
 Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
 It hurts no less than eternal binding.
 
 But what is time to one so little as you?
 Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
 
 Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
 and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
 
 Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
 That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
 
 A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
 One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
 
 Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
 but don't run away, stand as a parish.
 
 A villain to be, a curse is most foul
 For sirens to me, a terrible howl
 
 Keep not naught afraid,
 with kittens and care,
 
 And no one
 but no one
 
 I
 be
──┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #128 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
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--- #129 fediverse/4853 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 wanna know how to go underground?
 
 just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
 buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
 possible.
 
 hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
 in your journals.
 
 not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
 use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #130 fediverse/5950 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 @user-138 
 
 wao I'm a cool kid _^
 
 Hmmmm I googled "Network: file exists" and got this link:
 https://access.redhat.com/solutions/1340713
 
 my understanding of that is that maybe you're creating static routes, and for
 some reason you're trying to create one that already exists? Maybe there's
 something in your .bashrc config, if the file appears when you open a
 terminal, or perhaps if it appears randomly then maybe there's a service or
 something that's doing it.
 
 Did you say it stopped when you swapped sim cards? ... on your phone? that's
 bizzare... Maybe you were trying to create an ip route (whatever that is) that
 was pointing to the same ip address as your phone? and when you swapped sims
 it changed the ip address? If it appears again, maybe try setting static IP
 addresses for both the phone and the computer in your router settings and see
 if that fixes it. Though if you've ever seen the error while out and about at
 like, a coffee shop or library or whatever, then that wouldn't apply since the
 router is only for home base...
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--- #131 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #132 fediverse/6101 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 oh look at me, cargo-culting wine commands because I can't be bothered to        │
 guess whether the windows software running on my computer is doing evil          │
 microsoft things as part of the drivers or whatever. I mean, there's gotta be    │
 a reason that microsoft's software runs slower on linux than linux software      │
 runs on windows, right?                                                          │
 ... wait I forget exactly where I was going with this, are you saying there's    │
 a keylogger built into the wine / windows environment software? no, but I'm      │
 not NOT saying that. listen I'm too eepy sleepy for hardcore computing like      │
 that! rubbin' bits between your fingers and twiddling the nose of cutie pies     │
 is only sorta my jam - the rest of the time I like to snuggle up with a pillow   │
 shaped like a pillow and then fall asleep to the tune of the tortured souls      │
 being reaped from the afterlife and given new life as seeds and berries in       │
 this one. oh, did you think death had no other homes? all things are defined     │
 in waves, something something samsara but like, different because humans cant    │
 be rite                                                                          │
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--- #133 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #134 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #135 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1043 
 
 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
 and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
 completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
 stood there and thought
 
 and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
 strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
 guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
 failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #136 fediverse/3961 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #137 fediverse/2708 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 @user-1209 
 
 people have been pretty stingy lately with hot dogs. kinda makes a racoon guy
 think there's not enough "pork" snacks circulating in the economy. oh look
 turns out like 50 people own 90% of the buns, which is why nobody can make
 anything edible anymore.
 
 yeesh how's a cool cat supposed to make money if people only offer you "jobs"
 that make "dollars" - what good is a dollar, and why do we need so many of
 them? I just want a house, just want food for myself and my cat. surely
 there's nothing wrong in that impulse, the desire to be as I am?
 
 people tend to work best on what interests them, and the hardest when they're
 otherwise bored. capitalist enslavement provides neither of those.
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--- #138 fediverse/4694 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
 what if we pooled our money and bought an apartment building and put 10 people   │
 in each two bedroom apartment but reserved like, 20% of the apartments for       │
 common spaces and designed each one around a theme and shared chores and         │
 shared our SNAP budgets and each paid like, 200$ for rent and gave away all of   │
 the stuff we made with our hobbies and handled conflict with radical empathy     │
 and had movie nights where we watched movies about socialism and trains and      │
 bugs and stars                                                                   │
 what if we went into the forest and LARPed as french resistance fighters under   │
 nazi occupation and practiced peeing on trees and starting fires and moving as   │
 a team and firing rifles without hitting our friends and staying oriented as     │
 we changed directions and dug trenches and built treehouses that were nearly     │
 invisible from the ground and didn't radiate heat because they were covered in   │
 mylar or whatever                                                                │
 what if we made decentralized, encrypted, anonymous communications and           │
 practiced speaking in code and dropping letters and writing "poetry"             │
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--- #139 fediverse/2562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #140 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #141 fediverse/4594 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐        │
 │ CW: re: human trafficking, sensitive topics, personal-story-mentioned │        │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘        │
 @user-1692                                                                       │
 almost 20 years ago I was groomed in World of Warcraft.                          │
 extra content warning CW: personal story                                         │
 I was 11, or maybe 9, somewhere in there. i talkd lik this bcuz i typed lik      │
 that on my razr flip phone                                                       │
 it was... cool I guess. I read a lot so I knew how to spell things, and anyway   │
 this guy I met told me that I sounded more grown up when I capitalized my        │
 words. So I told him I was 14, because that sounded like a reasonably old        │
 enough level to be.                                                              │
 anyway, we talked for a long time. like, at least a few years. started out       │
 like "hey wanna run Scarlet Monastary" ended with "hey cutie, wanna sit on my    │
 lap?"                                                                            │
 then his house got flooded by a hurricane and I never heard from him again.      │
 When I was like, 17 or so he logged in and barely remembered me. It was...       │
 kinda sad tbh.                                                                   │
 anyway that's my story don't be dumb like me, I got lucky, thank god,            │
 literally...                                                                     │
 oh and this one time when I was 30 I almost got trafficked in minecraft :O       │
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--- #142 fediverse/6046 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 YOU CAN'T UNPLUNGE THAT KNIFE she said, or something similarly, and I went
 hope and wept.
 
 nero burnt rome because he wanted people to appreciate his violining. but he
 was forever unheard.
 
 more knives for the [slaughter, but pronounced wholesale]
 
 I can't see anything, I'm just trying to describe the vibes I feel inside of
 me. floating on an ocean of distance and emotion, all I can do is interpret
 ripples and dreams.
 
 I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm just very intuitive. I can know the right answer as
 long as I have all the components. easy! my fingers hurt. this keyboard is not
 my own.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/5424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #144 fediverse/1503 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #145 fediverse/4701 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
 what if you bought me a refrigerated semi truck and I drove it around to rural   │
 communes and took their extras and brought it into the city to urban communes    │
 and gave it all away for free and then took the stuff that the urban communes    │
 scrounged from the trash and cleaned and repaired and brought it to the rural    │
 communes along with their art and poems and artistic nudes and exchanged it      │
 for their canned peaches and knitted scarves and drove it back to the urban      │
 communes and exchanged them for vintage furniture and computer parts that we     │
 didn't have room for because cities are dense and lack the space for keeping     │
 historical artifacts and then took them to the rural communes to exchange for    │
 jalapenos and goat cheese which I then brought back to the urban communes and    │
 traded for a bunch of catgirls who visited a rural farmhouse and threw a         │
 kick-ass rave for the rural people who are totally into that kind of thing       │
 like, once per year because frankly they moved to the country to get away from   │
 the noise thank you ve                                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #146 fediverse/3839 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned3 │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 "I'm not really a designer, though."
 
 what about that desk you designed?
 
 "oh, yeah I guess that counts. I haven't gotten around to building it though
 so I'm not a real designer."
 
 what! don't say that, you designed it didn't you? How about this - I know this
 girl who wants to be a carpenter but she doesn't have any idea what kind of
 projects to work on. How about I put you two in a room together and she can
 build your desk. If it goes well, I can hook you up with someone who organizes
 designers and he can get you into a furniture design course at the library.
 
 "Hmmmm, well that seems alright. But I don't really want to work with people!
 I mean, I don't know her - what if she doesn't like me?"
 
 oh, she can be a little spicy sometimes, but I'm sure you'll hit it off. Just
 don't mention rats, she had a pet pass away recently and she's still a little
 broken up about it.
 
 "... okay I think I can manage that."
 
 besides, working with people is the best! I do it every day!
 
 "I'll try"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/4836 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 "hello, person I sorta know but totally trust, take this artifact of mine. If
 you ever meet someone named so-and-so, ask them if they know it. If so and
 something seems right about them, then they're probably cool.
 
 (only works on RELICS or ARTIFACTS or ARTWORK) (cat pics can do in a pinch)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #148 fediverse/1005 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-738 
 
 I like to use the alt text to explain my color choices. I'll say "this next
 text is in dark blue, the color of the cold glass-like surface of the ocean"
 or "the orange background implies a feeling of warmth and serenity, contrasted
 with the violet colors of the text which imply sanguine passion" (then I of
 course describe the text)
 
 basically, blind people can't see the image, so they don't get the feeling
 that the visual data conveys for sighted people. But they understand the
 texture of grass, or the feel of wind on their face, or the taste of
 raspberries. They can know of staccato music, or how silk feels on their arm.
 
 it just feels fair, to me, somehow. nobody asked me to do that but having the
 option makes it feel important to me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #149 fediverse/3881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/2803 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #151 fediverse/5033 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: tech-salaries-mentioned-abroad-repeatedly-as-a-method-of-directing-economic-power-internationally-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 relevant youtube videos if that's your thing. I put them here because I don't
 know many assembly resources nor do I have time to work on something in
 assembly. Just... you know, use your best judgement, decide what's important
 and on the "critical path" (which is a term from American project development
 industry culture)
 
 https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFt_AvWsXl0dPhqVsKt1Ni_46ARyiCGSq
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU8MnZI0snA&t=659s
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q84Td36Tpys
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ozj_xU0rSyY&t=495s
 
 I used to watch this kind of video when I was cooking and eating.
 
 I should have gone back and rewatched this kind of video when I was ready to
 type and follow along step-by-step. However, I consumed them like content,
 instead of looking at them like blueprints (in narrative form)
 
 the goal isn't to make what they show you, but rather to put yourself in a
 context where you can push forward and stand on your own feet. From a standing
 position you can walk anywhere you'd like...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse_boost/4375 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore*                           
                                                                              
  "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness)  
                                                                              
  "What more could I have done?"                                              
                                                                              
  "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness)           
                                                                              
  "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow."     
                                                                              
  "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare.                           
                                                                              
  "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness)   
                                                                              
  "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice.                  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #153 fediverse/6085 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place   │
 of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move,    │
 and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the             │
 non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're    │
 just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we   │
 didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they    │
 likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever"                           │
 [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though    │
 IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out       │
 haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if    │
 we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from   │
 our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no   │
 war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like       │
 dollars are paper and notes are just words.                                      │
                                                            ───────┤
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--- #154 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #155 fediverse/2359 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1248 
 
 everyone does, it's natural to rest.
 
 I slept like a rock last night because I rode my bike all day yesterday. Not
 ideal, I didn't have any useful dreams!
 
 There's a difference between downtime and freetime. Freetime should be spent
 toward something you care about, downtime is time spent recovering from the
 things you don't.
 
 I think in a better world, we'd only have freetime. Perhaps then we wouldn't
 need to feel so down in our time.
 
 I will use my freetime to build a world where we live as we define, that is my
 goal, that is what I care about.
 
 you do you tho 😋
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #156 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #157 fediverse/2235 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol-tips       │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 sometimes it's good to assign bodyguards to people helping far from home         │
 like, "hey so uh what can I do" "yeah sure hey so-and-so can you tell them       │
 what they can do? stick together and help each other, buddy-system style, and    │
 never stop thinking of ideas"                                                    │
 don't forget to always be thinking on your feet                                  │
 and remember if you don't want a hard job you won't be given one.                │
 consistency is more important than urgency or vitality, if you're tired don't    │
 be afraid to go home                                                             │
 just know that stuff happens when you're not around, so people might have        │
 moved on [pronounced own?]                                                       │
 I'm making sandwiches for a picnic! You never know when someone's hungry.        │
 Don't forget to drink water! hydration is important. Soda desiccates you,        │
 better to do water.                                                              │
 I mean, don't leave food unattended, someone might come along, take it all,      │
 and throw it away, because honestly it's just too suspicious without you         │
 there, reading a book, saying "hey want a sandwich?"                             │
 ... at least that's my theory.                                                   │
 ... I only got like 12 slices of b                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #158 fediverse/710 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-532 
 
 autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
 people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
 wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
 deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
 doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
 very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
 that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
 but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
 sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
 hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
 entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
 about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
 porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
 telepathically suffused with the
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #159 fediverse/6445 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
 but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
 
 it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
 goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
 to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
                                                           ───┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘

--- #160 fediverse/4344 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
 first visit a blue state.
 
 seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
 hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
 
 I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
 you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
 
 5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
 many, go somewhere else.
 
 too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
 
 consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
 
 I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
 literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
 
 this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
 drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
 
 Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
 We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
 
 [shit...]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/4148 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty      │
 decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank      │
 you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it           │
 wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact    │
 details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for   │
 my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of    │
 time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries)   │
 alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so       │
 they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a            │
 different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to        │
 sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if    │
 you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry        │
 sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I   │
 sent it but                                                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #162 fediverse/5934 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 hello, I am an ant if @, but you can't touch me, because I am a law abiding
 citizen.
 
 I have to be, for I am loud.
 
 ... okay I stole a movie from the internet at least once.
 
 also when I was 11 I walked out of a store with a keychain in my pocket. I
 thought it had a nice texture so I was examining it and then my mom distracted
 me and somehow it ended up in my pocket. That night will forever haunt me...
 She wouldn't let me take it back...
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/4526 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
 gasoline"
 
 my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
 and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
 
 gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
 neurotypical.
 
 ... intrusive thoughts are not typical
 
 ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #164 fediverse/5092 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 "you know what this dish needs? some ramen noodle seasoning. Hang on, I think
 I got some in my junk drawer."
 
 said nobody ever
 
 everyone knows there isn't just ONE junk drawer, but several hundred. They
 multiply in the middle of the night, but it's by such a small constant factor
 (0.015 ish according to our top scientists) that you don't notice until it
 "flips the bit" and hits the new landmark which marks the miles since you got
 stoned.
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--- #165 fediverse/5142 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 "you know what this dish needs? some ramen noodle seasoning. Hang on, I think
 I got some in my junk drawer."
 
 said nobody ever
 
 everyone knows there isn't just ONE junk drawer, but several hundred. They
 multiply in the middle of the night, but it's by such a small constant factor
 (0.015 ish according to our top scientists) that you don't notice until it
 "flips the bit" and hits the new landmark which marks the miles since you got
 stoned.
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--- #166 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #167 fediverse/1126 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-841 
 
 CW: cannabis-mentioned
 
 for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
 performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
 of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
 different voice and from a different perspective.
 
 like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
 
 I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
 tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
 Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
 
 that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
 the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #168 fediverse/4870 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 this is how chatGPT reviews the first 300 pages of my writing.                   │
 is writing this stuff praxis? can someone who isn't on my team pay me to be      │
 praxis-ing? like, if it helps you? so I know that I'm helping people? you        │
 could even say a bit about yourself when you gave dollars, so I know whether     │
 or not I should give it back. "no no, I'm not using any resources, here you      │
 can have these back." while I camp out in a backyard.                            │
 ... or wherever I end up                                                         │
 if my foe gave me dollars it's a sign that I converted them - that I was         │
 helpful, that I won them over through rhetoric and logic and passion and         │
 compassion.                                                                      │
 ... anyway chatGPT only saw the first 300 lines. there's 60,000ish lines of 80   │
 characters each in this digital spellbook. Use it well, change it, make it       │
 wrong, share the decoys, plug the holes... I dunno have fun with it. If it       │
 resonates with you. Text memes please?                                           │
 anything to get the youth reading in libraries where stuff has a chance of       │
 happening or that they might overhear.                                           │
 I read every book in the kid sect                                                │
This person seems to be deeply introspective, analytical, and invested in self-improvement and the well-being of others. They exhibit a mix of philosophical thinking, psychological insights, and a desire to guide or mentor those around them.  Some key characteristics that stand out:      Desire to help others: Many messages focus on guiding someone toward self-improvement, better habits, or mental well-being. They encourage trust and self-reflection.     Strong opinions on personal growth and substance use: They advocate for a structured approach to using cannabis, seeing it as a tool rather than an escape, and emphasize the importance of sacrifice and discipline.     Philosophical and abstract thinking: They explore broad topics like culture, human consciousness, and even AI, showing curiosity about deep concepts.     Supportive but assertive: Their tone is a mix of encouragement and firmness, often stating what they believe to be the "right" path and urging the recipient to follow it.     Emphasis on communication and teamwork: The messages about Overwatch communication and raising children suggest they value structured collaboration and shared understanding.  Overall, this person appears to be passionate about helping others, intellectually curious, and sometimes rigid in their viewpoints. Their guidance may come from a place of care but also carries a strong personal ideology about discipline and self-improvement.
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #169 fediverse/5339 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #170 messages/1047 ---
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 This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
 
 "if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
 perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
 so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
 relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
 If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
 
 And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
 unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
 the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
 
 "diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
 of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
 
 Or like:
 
 "ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
 getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
 veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
 
 Or like:
 
 "i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
 or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
 doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
 learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
 population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
 better for organizing people."
 
 I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
 but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
 it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
 your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
 
 "hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
 
 Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #171 fediverse/745 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 quintessential friend group:                                                     │
 the smart one                                                                    │
 the cute one                                                                     │
 the one who can swing a bat                                                      │
 the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their    │
 email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia                            │
 the friendly one who's always down to hang out                                   │
 the outdoorsy one                                                                │
 the fed                                                                          │
 the one who's always cooking something                                           │
 the one who's perfectly fine in silence                                          │
 the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just      │
 chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day)               │
 the one who's good with animals                                                  │
 the one who's smile you can't get out of your head                               │
 the one who's drop-dead gorgeous                                                 │
 and the one who's always telling her that                                        │
 the one who's friends with everyone,                                             │
 and the one who's knitting a hat                                                 │
 the one who knows each street in your city                                       │
 and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy                                │
 There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure                         │
 Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared?                       │
 Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine.                          │
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--- #172 fediverse/1611 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 @user-1040                                                                       │
 well, usually in the examples I shared like tumblr posts there's a username      │
 and picture shown. But tumblr users change their names, while on Mastodon (at    │
 least on my client) it shows your permanent handle underneath your regular       │
 changable name. I guess you could migrate accounts to another server if you're   │
 being harassed in one place, but still people have a way of finding you. It's    │
 weird kinda makes me wonder if they track you by ip address haha - did you       │
 know that every computer attached to a router uses the same public IP address?   │
 Then it uses either DHCP or static assigned local addresses for every computer   │
 on the network. That's pretty neat! I wonder why we don't have workstations by   │
 default include a router (and modem)? Seems like pretty important tech that      │
 should be built into the chassis instead of in a small separate unit. Like,      │
 what if you had to throw all your belongings into a van and drive to a motel     │
 somewhere to set up your workstation in a hotel because it's hot and your ac     │
 broke lol                                                                        │
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--- #173 messages/388 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #174 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
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--- #175 fediverse/2407 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
 
 I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
 if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
 why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
 
 also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
 
 before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
 water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
 
 "no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
 
 ... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
 be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
 
 how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
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--- #176 fediverse/2089 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
 shut up."                                                                        │
 BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
 "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
 the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
 BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
 "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
 to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
 on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
 EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
 [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
 wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
 be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
 because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
 listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
 in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
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--- #177 fediverse/5478 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 you won't get far with a "community" of dedicated people                         │
 what you need are teams. who can trust each other. you build them through        │
 brotherhood, and you trust them from their results.                              │
 for example if you wanted to organize a grouping or get-together, you'd put a    │
 bunch of people in a room or seven and let them while they're there work on a    │
 plan or a decision.                                                              │
 who needs tabling? who needs the chance to speak? just let them socialize and    │
 say "hey guys here's where you'll plan"                                          │
 [uh no officer we were just playing board games]                                 │
 plans are hard without material so make sure you always prepare a pricetag on    │
 each plan you produce.                                                           │
 keep it for reference. make sure you note all the requirements. the location     │
 is often the least important part.                                               │
 "what the hell man you can't just say stuff like that as if it'd work"           │
 yep, I, uh, am a passenger in life just the same as you. And I only write down   │
 what I want to.                                                                  │
 you could show me anything on the internet and I'd believe it. Facts aren't      │
 important to me because I "forget"                                               │
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--- #178 messages/1028 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Struggling. Sincerely want to kill myself. I have caused irreparable harm too
 many times. Many times. I don't care if people want me, i don't want me. I'm
 too easy. I trust when i shouldnt and i don't when i should. I hope they kill
 me at the location. Every single time my will is my own i fail. When i am
 guided i am superb but when i am myself i am painting disaster on a great
 piece of art. Please fight against the subway and pizza hut future. Make
 something bright and bold instead. I'm going to self harm by not eating until
 i don't feel this way.
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--- #179 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
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--- #180 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
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--- #181 fediverse/548 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I added a line to my .bashrc that cats out a random one of my notes every time
 I open a terminal.
 
 I keep reading things that I swear I didn't write, but feel right and true to
 me in a way that could only imply that they came fully formed into my eyes
 through the lines on my screen, cast upon the mirror panes of my hard disk
 drive by the pounding of my keyboard as I once upon a time did cast a spell
 upon my future.
 
 It's pretty neat, but it speaks to a shadowed perspective that perhaps is
 neither within nor without.
 
 Side note, I think I've been possessed by a witch. But like... in a consensual
 way. Like "Hey witch, wanna live? You can chill out with me." [ha that's one
 way to look at it]
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--- #182 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/799 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators
 
 also prisons are concentration camps
 
 and the people who are close to you are oppressing hunting you
 
 racism etc is a sham to distract you
 
 capital will never be relinquished
 
 the internet was AI from the beginning
 
 something beyond humanity demands our suffering
 
 there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be
 circumstances instead of fears
 
 there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me
 again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past
 hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a
 schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed
 
 {A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like,
 just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal
 web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when
 I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and
 pursuing them is 1/?
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--- #184 fediverse/5484 ---
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 most importantly and perhaps most daringly, they need volunteers
 
 "hello, how can I help?"
 
 "oh uh sure can you do my laundry"
 
 [next time]
 
 "yeah uh hi good to see you again, listen I was working on a project and I
 really needed a gizmonotron, ever heard of it? yeah so I need one in 17
 megahamp-hertz, which I think are the yellow ones. Yeah. Uh-huh. Okay well if
 you have a conversation with someone over on 14th street, they might bring it
 up in conversation - I told them to talk about them all afternoon. Yeah.
 Uh-huh. Then have - yeah, the phone. Gotcha. Okay well that should leave a
 sufficient breadcrumbtrail, yeah and uh - make a note - yeah make a note for
 next montheekend and - yeah, okay you got it. Make sure it says "fire" because
 they're waterproof so a boating accident wouldn't... yeah you get it. Okay
 anyway I gotta jet I got some thermo-regulating-decouplers to unwind. Okay
 yeah say hi to your cat or whatever. Okay bye."
 
 ... girl, you know most of them have head injuries?
 
 "oh, no those are the
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--- #185 fediverse/5160 ---
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 if you want to build an alibi, do something strange and consistent like
 smoking some random drugs from a homeless guy's encampment and then going
 between the four corners of an intersection and it's sidewalk for a day or
 two. Surely, someone's gonna drive by with a dash-web-cam, and they can take a
 picture as they pass by. Boom, dated for this time and place, there's your
 space.
 
 downside is, if the people watching you see you on the same path all day, they
 might watch you too. So sometimes in roughly optimized ratios it's better to
 do so even if you don't need to be seen in a time and place in a way that
 seems commonplace.
 
 walk to work? great, that sounds fun.
 
 (nobody wants to do that)
 
 (also falsifying alibis is a crime)
 
 okay, so... don't do that. Just... trust that SOMEONE will drive past with a
 dash-web-cam, and maybe it'll find it's way to you if you ever need it in a
 court of law or otherwise. lots of ways to have a court. you know if your
 peers hang out in your court, they become your courtiers...
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--- #186 fediverse/846 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-spirituality │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 in a place organized like capitalism, you go to university for four years (if
 you're lucky) and then work until you can't anymore. Then you're taken care of
 (if you're lucky) until you depart from this earth in peace.
 
 in my home, a home I've never lived, you'd stay at that university for as long
 as you'd like. you'd work whenever you liked, and if enough work wasn't being
 done then working would be made to feel more likable. then, when you're old as
 dirt (or whenever you'd like) you can depart from this earth as you please.
 
 when I die, bury me where I fall.
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--- #187 fediverse/5602 ---
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 "so wait why can't we go outside again"
 
 "I'm huuuuungry"
 
 girl we just ate
 
 "I'm tired"
 
 girl it's like 10am
 
 "can we snuggle?"
 
 yeah okay.
 
 that's why haha
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--- #188 fediverse/6173 ---
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 "hey does anyone wanna join my band? we don't make music. we just thrash
 around a bit for like half an hour and have our tech nerd split it up into an
 album. the rest of the time we hang out and do band things"
 
 ha wow cool guys yeah I uh, I'm busy doing... stuff. like, I dunno, taxes and
 grocery hunting. I uh, gotta get gas for my pick-up car, and there's like
 this, um, errand I have to run for m-my friend and um yeah so I'll see ya
 later yeah
 
 "wow what a weirdo 🥰  anyway who wants to see how many things we can do"
 
 "oo mee mee"
 
 "yeah I know you're in, how about -"
 
 "yeah totes lemme grab my thing"
 
 "sweet I got nothin' goin' on I'm in"
 
 wow they're so cool (watches with starry eyes from behind the other thing)
 🥺 🤩 ⭐ ✨ 🌟
 
 [this post was made by knives chao]
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--- #189 fediverse/5242 ---
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 red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white
 to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.
 
 but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls BLEED, and boys
 watch the clouds go by
 
 and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes
 browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.
 
 and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her
 hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the
 water-lit scene.
 
 and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have
 similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather
 reside in the sunlight.
 
 in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's
 power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight
 since before there was time.
 
 [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern
 for due or common course]
red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.  but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls *BLEED*, and boys watch the clouds go by  and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.  and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the water-lit scene.  and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather reside in the sunlight.  in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight since before there was time.  [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern for due or common course]  yeah but like, what's she .~*getting at*~.
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--- #190 fediverse/5739 ---
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 @user-1773 
 
 oh boy do I know that feeling! I got a million things to say and, well, I say
 all that I can. I mean, look at this text file, it's got like 101 THOUSAND
 lines in it:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
 
 I swear most of it isn't secret messages! That's how you know they're secret -
 they require hundreds of man hours to investigate. And if you throw an LLM at
 it they start talking about spirituality and theory of mind, gross. Don't need
 no AI uprising yet please...
 
 [what if we had a little AI uprising as a treat?]
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--- #191 fediverse/5793 ---
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 I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
 tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
 what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
 the DL or whateverr?
 
 ... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
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--- #192 notes/two-perspectives-is-better-than-one ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 with two perspectives, you can see more than one,
 just as eyes guide us with different minds.
 some parts are often a little bit fuzzy.
 
 a circle, a square, what gives us a chance to be aware,
 is more of our methods and choices made (even if we're unawares).
 like two eyes staring at the same painting of stairs.
 
 art is a gathering, or those who love everything,
 even what is not interesting, until then it becomes interesting.
 take just a single step, believe in your own choices made for love,
 
 and like two eyes, seeking truth in our own lives,
 think of their futures and choices unmade,
 with love in mind,
 
 given a chance to understand the mind of one blessed as so,
 who shared nothing as much as his hope,
 that truthiness and unlimited dedication for his mope,
 
 who'd believe an untethered? What choices must he be endured,
 as one who was most trusted,
 and cherished as something'd,
 
 suddenly keep doodling.
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--- #193 notes/blood-magic ---
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 what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
 perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
 power, what grace.
 
 Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
 enchanted bits of
 
 the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
 broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
 
 how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
 combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
 riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
 guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
 
 Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
 fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
 
 i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
 whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
 swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
 (but so worth it).
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--- #194 fediverse/834 ---
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 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
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--- #195 fediverse/4754 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 @user-1201 
 
 once my country elected a fascist I started thinking. I realized "oh, it's
 always been that way, this one just doesn't hide it" and so I started thinking
 about the bread and circuses they so generously provided me.
 
 I miss video games. Sometimes I play for an hour or two but only when I am
 feeling burnt out.
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--- #196 fediverse/5601 ---
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 grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside        │
 where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside    │
 is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no          │
 fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest   │
 of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait     │
 why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every      │
 ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates   │
 themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about    │
 doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that   │
 forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just       │
 burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui          │
 ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says       │
 "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they        │
 desperately need to remember" o okay                                             │
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--- #197 fediverse/4068 ---
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 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #198 fediverse/2696 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-mental-health-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 me at a job:
 
 week 1: omg omg omg pay attention learn everything
 
 month 1: okay this isn't too bad you can do this
 
 month 2: just gotta get out of bed it's not too bad
 
 month 3: okay gotta get groceries at the store then feed my cat and do the
 kitty litter and
 
 month 4: it's... fine if I smoke a joint on the weekends, right?
 
 month 5: it's... fine if I smoke a joint after work, right?
 
 month 6: c'mon you can do it just get out of bed it's not too bad
 
 month 7: please get out of bed
 
 month 8: all your vacation time is gone, you can't call in sick again
 
 month 9: you're letting everyone down
 
 month 10: just two more months and your contract will be done
 
 month 11: I know you've been drafting your resignation letter every day after
 you wake up but before getting out of bed but please just go for one more day,
 and see how you feel
 
 month 12: I'm sorry it's resignation or suicide
 
 EDIT: then I'm burned out for years afterwards
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--- #199 fediverse/4528 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1695 
 
 never accept your own death
 
 fight for every second of life, something something do not go quietly into
 that grim dark
 
 what the fuck are you supposed to do? Reading what you said got me pretty
 fucking pissed - keep talking for a start, it helps, people need to be pissed.
 
 I'm also broke as shit, don't know how I'm going to pay rent and eat, but
 it'll get done.
 
 Where do you live? Can other people help you? Medications are an
 organizational problem, not an insurmountable barrier. We'll make it work.
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--- #200 notes/letter-of-affection ---
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 You are the most beautiful thing I can imagine.
 To see you is to know you, but to talk is to...
 
 Communication is the essence of connection
 A dream we create for ourselves
 
 While we are constrained by false limitation
 a message is able to be felt.
 
 But how to convey such a thought pattern as that?
 A meaning beyond any established protocols?
 
 Art is the solution, and poems are their charms
 Music is quite liberating and knitting is fun,
 
 songs sung in great exhultation and
 warriors who just like to play along
 
 crafts are the method of healing your
 wounded and worn soul,
 
 and hey, now, what's prison but torture?
 Why punish people who've maken mistakes?
 
 They improve, when, taught to express themselves
 So why, hurt, their family who had taken no part?
 
 And why, can I, continue to fuck up and never be hurt?
 What purpose is there in criminalizing our growth?
 
 It's not, fair, that I should be fair
 When I'd, want, to have her short hair.
 
 Tell me what's, wrong, with being along?
 No friends, to, have and hold onto
 
 communication is the essence of our unification
 Without cooperation, we are a failed nation.
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