=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 being trans teaches you opsec, because you're constantly hiding the evidence
 of your past life.
 
 being a woman teaches you situational awareness, and (almost) every trans
 person has been a woman at one point or another. At least, they've performed
 as one, which is enough to learn about situational awareness.
 
 growing up and hiding a part of yourself because you were afraid to come out
 teaches you to act / lie / perform / mask, which is something every queer
 person has done at one point or another.
 
 conclusion? the gays would make great spies. At least, they'd have a good
 baseline talent for it. Still would require training obvi
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

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║ │ I am once again begging people to understand that “the government” already knows you’re queer whether you do elaborate online opsec dance rituals or not, and if they decide to just start shooting people for being gay, they’ll do it whether the evidence is airtight or not. is that grim? yes. but you can stop giving yourself undercover superhero identity PTSD about it │ ║
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--- #2 messages/406 ---
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 On one hand, trans people make great spies because we've been acting all our
 lives (pre-transition but post-realization)
 
 On the other hand, our bodies have been physically changed by HRT so it's not
 like we can spy on our enemies -.-
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--- #3 messages/652 ---
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 I wish I could remember how this was phrased, but...:
 
 Constant theorizing or contemplation without commesurate practice is an uneven
 display of affection and appreciation. It creates an uneven environment where
 nothing is ever good enough because the "discourse" has moved past the
 practice.
 
 It's a bit like applying uneven heating to a pan on the stove. Some bits are
 gonna get overcooked while others are bordering on raw.
 
 Y'all are so afraid of spies but like if everyone just... Showed up... Then
 they'd have far too many people to listen to.
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--- #4 fediverse/6271 ---
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 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~

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║ │ @user-800 Interesting thread.                                              │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon.                       │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ Good luck, siblings.                                                       │ ║
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--- #6 fediverse/2281 ---
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 I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
 teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
 unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
 
 But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
 of a sign is this?"
 
 Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
 the wind in the trees.
 
 What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
 signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
 
 Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
 enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #7 fediverse/3225 ---
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 when you post something publically, you must trust that anyone who can read it
 will read it. hence why public spaces and faces are for the things you
 wouldn't mind speaking.
 
 your comfort level determines the abstraction level that people can trust you
 at. Like, anything more extreme than that they know you want to remain hidden.
 how do you trust people in an era of digital communication? how would you even
 speak to someone except over text message, internet communication, or written
 note-passing of conveyance memos?
 
 [use your head doh] oh you mean like with a mouth and lungs to project words
 with similar and consistent meanings? arranged into sentences and forming
 sessions of thought in paragraphs? [yeah. that's... that's just talking.] I
 know but I wanted to be specific because people misunderstand the strangest
 things you're like "we should be good to everyone* and they're like "oh I
 should hate gay people or whatever" like... whaaaat where did that come from
 smh
 >.> 
 
 
 anyway I ran outta chara
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--- #8 fediverse/58 ---
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 @user-68 I think America is diverse enough that multiple people might have
 differing views about... "checks notes" oh wait this has been thoroughly
 proven time and time again, there should be no reason why people aren't
 prioritizing this above their freedumb. Hmmmmmm I bet someone's telling them
 how to feel about it. Perhaps someone who would stand to gain from misleading
 large swathes of our population. HMMMM WHO COULD THAT BE SURELY NOT THE PEOPLE
 IN POWER WHO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND KEEP US ENSLAVED. Surely not them, it must
 be the gays.
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--- #9 fediverse/3411 ---
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 @user-1314 @user-1280 @user-1526 
 
 They will gladly live in a tent under an overpass cooking rats on a wire
 hanger so long as you can guarantee that black/brown/LGBTQs don't have a tent,
 rat, or wire hanger.
 
 I'd almost agree, except strike "have" and replace it with "need"
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--- #10 fediverse/3235 ---
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 conservatives think gender is assigning yourself to a particular social role
 
 liberals think gender is sort of an aesthetic and way of presenting yourself
 
 queer people tend to think of gender as how you feel and what sparks joy in
 your heart
 
 the truth is much more complicated and involves all three, and many more
 things besides.
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║ │ "It won't be so bad..." *rationalizations galore*                          │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "If only they'd listened to people like me when I said ..." (comforting righteousness) │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "What more could I have done?"                                             │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "This only proves why I was right about ..." (more righteousness)          │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "I know nothing. I need to learn more. I must learn from this somehow."    │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "I am not surprised." With a thousand yard stare.                          │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "This can't be real, there is a conspiracy..." (this is a path to madness)  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ "Don't comply in advance." Said in a wavering shaky voice.                 │ ║
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--- #12 fediverse/2793 ---
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 this is a terrible idea btw, if you march along the road then your enemies can
 just drive up right next to your soft fleshy humanoid flanks
 
 if you march cross-country they'll still getcha. they know more than you, and
 they're better at it too.
 
 much better I think to divide yourselves into like, 5-7 groups and drive to
 where you're going sometime in the next 5-7 days according to group. ideally
 not during rush hours. that way you can bring whatever you want.
 
 then, when you're there, in a park, you can meet other neat people and talk
 THEN. in a place where you don't know which places are miked - spoiler tho
 it's all of them teehee, or at least you have to treat them that way if you're
 talking about specifics. If you're talking about generalities it's usually
 okay, but... well, you'll figure it out.
 
 then, after 5-7 days, you can hold an impromptu pride parade, and walk past
 all the houses where gay people used to live.
 
 plans change. planning remains.
 
 when plans change, your adaptability is test.
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--- #13 fediverse/5067 ---
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 some people think "being honest" is the same thing as "accurately displaying
 what you think and believe" is the same thing as the not same thing as "being
 deceitful or otherwise hiding your intentions"
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--- #14 fediverse/4200 ---
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 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #15 fediverse/2769 ---
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 the contrast between what you want and how things are is the source of all
 resistance.
 
 it is also the intersection where mindsets of "denial" appear. the only person
 you can trust is yourself - why would you bury things like that?
 
 I bet a lot of queer people can relate...
 
 (the answer to "why" is of course, almost always trauma)
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--- #16 messages/89 ---
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 Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
 you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
 may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
 ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
 mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
 collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #17 notes/i-miss-you ---
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 Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
 time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
 time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
 how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
 certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
 or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
 toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
 exploitation and
 
 Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
 esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
 don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
 to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
 responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
 you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
 struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
 
  - goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
    and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
    doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
    i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
 
 What's there to think about?
 
  - well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
    divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
    with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
    it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
    particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
    close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
    relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
    like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
    different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
    roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
 
 I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
 
 It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
 to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
 I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
 guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
 disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
 for people around middle school age) so
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--- #18 fediverse/193 ---
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 it might also help with social anxiety because people are aware when they're
 being observed. A lot of people hesitate to speak or contribute on Zoom calls
 because they are inherently scared of being observed, but with this system
 they'll be aware of any observation and can address it. Plus every meeting
 that could have been an email will quickly become apparent since nobody is
 paying attention to the speaker, and they'll realize how much they should
 rethink their approach.
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--- #19 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
║ └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
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║ @user-1052                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
║ remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
║ version of me I can be.                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
║ alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #20 fediverse/1124 ---
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 @user-255 
 
 we are our own worst critics. But hey assuming he's right, trusting the
 validity of his experience, then I'd say:
 
 some people are born short and ugly, just gotta be confident and people will
 gravitate to you.
 
 "he may be an ugly son-of-a-gun but he's pretty good at [insert thing he's
 proud of being good at]" that kinda vibe
 
 though I will say there's very few truly ugly humans, we're all beautiful in
 our own ways. Just gotta find a presentation that you like and that aligns
 with the expression of your innermost form. That's how we express ourselves to
 the world in a way that others can understand and make sense of - the quality
 of our representation of our selves determines how it's perceived.
 
 especially for trans people... "passing" is essentially "how much does this
 person A. confine to gender norms and B. go above and beyond to hide parts of
 themselves that typically are associated with their opposite gender (the
 social role they were raised to perform)
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