=== ANCHOR POEM === ══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────┘ / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own desistence. It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well, what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit delirious, I'm losing the plot] ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]? I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason], please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me]. ... this sucks. ... guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always so tired. /shrug wish someone would play w/m ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/1075 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them. they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget the actual words]" well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me, surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment] and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you say? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/1317 --- ╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │ ║ again. │ ║ │ ║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │ ║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │ ║ │ ║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │ ║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │ ║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │ ║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │ ║ │ ║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │ ║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │ ║ to [stack overflow] │ ║ │ ║ what's time if not the present amiright │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ anyway... │ ║ │ ║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │ ║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │ ║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │ ║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │ ║ at heart I guess │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #3 notes/schooling --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = I feel like education, by default, should not be hard. "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted me to be. they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so of course I should be able to do 3+3 then somewhere along the line it became... something else. "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I disagree that trigonometry is not necessary to be. I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a sledgehammer and inspiring dread. I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see but really, vision's not necessary. not for what they want you to be. take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as simple as they'll tell you. I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through, but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence. Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future. but I am who I am because of the soul inside me. =============================================================================== = "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and your conditioners?" (conditions) those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want to be. but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice! here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band. =============================================================================== = the world is blossoming as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming becoming. "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see" most people don't want to see their death but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold her " "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be" the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art (at least to a capitalist) =============================================================================== = lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure was I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god? like, if he was a real thing. god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our own good, just to keep things moving. y'know, time. the universe, and everything. Ephemeren. =============================================================================== = I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this particular person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when this person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you. =============================================================================== = just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true, after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably autistic? unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for all people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it? patience, once it's ready. we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready. or not... one day I'll come, I'm sure it'll happen, it's just... not quite feasible right now. I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is to be? isn't what ISN'T WHAT MENARDI FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry yeesh you've still got a temper you know? well what can I say it's frustrating down here eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego >.> <.< (great) > >hehe > >sorry for distracting you =============================================================================== = you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack overflow ================================================ a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow === ========================================================== the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and they've got your back through it. ... this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus. =============================================================================== = I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just made sense to structure it that way. =============================================================================== = the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's doctrine is more advanced. every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, ===================== stack overflow =========================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 messages/1361 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the information I have? The vibes will mislead you. My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen bodies. Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her claim. She wrote a book on it. I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine. I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith" she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days. Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself over the sins I'd never intend. I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to. I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me. I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon. Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready and waiting for our selves once we're done with them. To that death, I say no more. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #5 notes/human-computer-inspiration --- ═════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the two halves form a whole the human and his mind are societies at large there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate, and unbenownst to our focused decision. I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision - the likes of which none have commisioned. can you not cherish your newfoundst home? what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future) that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice? compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares, better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk =============================================================================== = listen i'm not the best at listening. I try to appear like I'm glistening, conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure. =============================================================================== = I struggle with what I told you. Time and again you've shown you won't do - the terrible fate of a man. you've relinquished your virtue, your purpose and your life-through, to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth- coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch. All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my dreams: all for a future of virtue. Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what if I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove a point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough. Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of course but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time. Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after all, of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to all and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future. remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 notes/i-told-them --- ══════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 10-22-2022 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know. i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own now i can help them, but no-one is making a move am i blind? is any of this forgiven? what's not to a lot, is little but a shot, of substance - true - but smelling like poo. that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling. you're broken just like your children. oh, posterity! i claim it for thee this feeling of wretched denial oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial. be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me there's more to this show than our styles. what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence? to arbite the fate of circumstance? every motion is an ocean of possibilities and purveyals think not of the commotion below. gravity, oh gravity how you condemn us to be! driven by commotion, our slithering motion, no sense in countering ourselves. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/1066 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best, I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best. Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I hope that someone will read this. obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse. But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/488 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ [in response] │ ║ │ ║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │ ║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │ ║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │ ║ │ ║ (in response) │ ║ │ ║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │ ║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │ ║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │ ║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │ ║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │ ║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │ ║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │ ║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │ ║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │ ║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │ ║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #9 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission --- ═════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()- || || || Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons || || || -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()- I'm a quiet person by nature, You might even mistake me for a mouse, But online I try to be a teacher, And to do that I need to be more verbose. I write thousands of words per day; Posting them here and there, far and near. I never run out of things to say. Awakening others is something I hold dear. Which is why it pains me greatly To be like an alien on my own home planet. Schizophrenia makes me innately Weird in ways that many people don't get, And because of that I'm shot down When I try to accomplish my stated mission. I won't lie, that does make me frown. Sometimes it makes me regret a submission. Yet, I have a certain strength in me That allows me to persevere in my quest. Someday I will make you all see Just what in me makes me never rest. That's what I am trying to teach: The wisdom that made me indomitable. If only the suffering I could reach, They could make themselves more formidable. The world is in a most dire place; It's grinding so many souls into fine dust, But luckily there's a saving grace. Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust. I don't believe in some sky wizard As so many people are likely to interpret. I speak of what is lacking in lizards; Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit. Love is what fills the empty hole In your heart and soul when you are alone. When life's trials take their toll Remember this one trick: pick up the phone! No, not the one in your hands. I'm talking about the one in your chest. Even in the desert full of sand, You're accompanied by the universe's best. Listen if you doubt what I said: I'm not telling you anything that defies logic. This is to trick what's in your head; I'm speaking about how having faith is magick. Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God, The result is still the same: your cup will fill. Your brain has a feature that's odd That allows itself to manifest even more will. I don't know why, but I suspect It has something to do with your imagination. The nature of your thoughts impact Your state of being from pulse to emotions. So, why not think you have a friend Who helps you through whatever your trial, And will stick by you until the end? When you have that buddy you'll always smile, Which will make you heal better, As well as help you carry on in your duty, Plus undo your karmic fetters, Not to mention it will land you that cutie; All of which will raise us all. It's about creating positive ripples across time That add up to a pile that's tall. Every moment is an opportunity in its prime, So reach out and grab it now. Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be. Can't do it? I'll show you how! In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me: It was seven years ago and I Thought I knew everything one could know, But no matter how hard I'd try, I couldn't make my life in any direction go. Then one fateful spring night, While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics, I received one hell of a fright. Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick. My perceptions were distorted, Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety. My destroyed ego then contorted Into one that was full of an abundance of piety. The moral of the story? Do drugs? No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. One of them will give you a hug, Which will help you stop being so serious. Then you can let go and embrace The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling. More people need to cuz we face A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling. That is one reason I write, But I also want to alleviate people's pain, And stop every last fight. I care so much, I do this without financial gain. Everyday I write my lessons Guided by the hand of God who is my heart, Hoping that entropy will lessen; This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art. So now you know who I am, Yet you only know one lesson of mine. I have more if you're in a jam. -===========================================- | Read on if you want to know the divine. | -===========================================- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 notes/conflicted-sympathies --- ═══════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most endearing. We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and decision- wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time. And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying. Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again. Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones, a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind. And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which is beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we develop new ways of sound. - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head* - You know conservativism had some perks as well. This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies. On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they are unfound. *record scratch* wow I didn't realize there were nazis Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen, nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can really do about it except deal with it when it happens. ... Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat. If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent. Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden. Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're willing to concede We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us. Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright. Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter- familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be vindictive, to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems, which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely. Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology! the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of living in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century. So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and that sucks. person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction, a statement of who we were to all time. person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in herself person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions person B: yeah I really admire her devotion person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture? like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one person can't know all that. person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's something about the world we don't yet understand. person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know something that our greatest minds don't. person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took - s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in on A: context. Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking ourselves - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity, we must be =============================================================================== = too long you have whispered these musings too long has your challenge been unrequited we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star? the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the hidden truths of the world. And what did I find? a soul, of mine. In a sense. I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical affection, I found myself cradling a breast. It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes of the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in kind, and here's where it shook me by my brainstem. Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head. =============================================================================== = You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering. - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers. =============================================================================== = Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this. Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was the prime memory. Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop. Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and be chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals. Tense, right? Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles and gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right? Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis sperm" But you know what else it is? A wave =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/5955 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── "she wanted to start a revolution" "that's it, she's out of our hair" "ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed. you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on the now, there's always a rest point before a boss. well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes down. emp style. I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it then you know it's about you. "whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm normal" oh no she's a book now, this sucks "wow I've never read her from the beginning" what a cursed artifact indeed scary carefully absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title marshals and marshals of time. ~~ ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/1082 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me! Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks. Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how: "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad" ? ? ? well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person, yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see --- ═════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────── that feeling i get, when nobody's watching. is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching. could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen? like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children. have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey? the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love and restart from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not to be, now we can see what's our existence. good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last. what purpose has conviction when it leads to destruction is it not better to lead to the last? bright, shining, illustrious examples that inspire and =============================================================================== = those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night? they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind. stay present and you'll hear none, but blink and then there's some, you better believe in your heart. morality is a battle within the soul of each of us - the call of adventure versus lust. think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out - they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear - what would they do but fuck? that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions. it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #14 messages/1363 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ God, I want to live with my people. These are not my people. I'm here for a reason, and I can't wait for this... Diplomatic journey? To be over. That's not even it, it's... Well, my girlfriend is working on a technology that has immense philosophical ramifications. It's natural to have... Whatever I am (angel?) it's natural to have angels assigned to such a task. Not to help or harm, just to sing. Yet my human self grows weary. These are not my people, they don't know how to be. But they don't listen to me. They despise me. They want me gone. I am feeling quite rotten in my heart and that's not a good sign. ... Breathe, she says to herself. It's okay. Its really not though. They could poison me. They could put lead in my food. I can't even feed myself anymore! I am at their mercy, yet somehow they could not care less about me. They'd forget me the moment I walked out the door. They don't even know anything about me. They don't respond to me. They don't laugh at my jokes. They don't speak to me. They forget I'm there. WHY AM I HERE she wails yet obviously she knows. I'm here because it is important for me to observe. Spirit of Life, I bear tidings. They would not listen to me, maybe you will. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #15 fediverse/4200 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: drugs-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self, and their hopes and dreams. or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past? and now you're here. wherever "here" is here... ... ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present! ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game: https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have these precious stones of your kin" but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief. ... the end... (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?) ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘ --- #16 notes/one-day --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────── one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they wanted to provide air support in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe in mind? what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of relaxation that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital of an embassy. "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you want, but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true." [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief] they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how brutal how insane you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face. channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are you thinking of when you think about me? one way to get power is to "prove it" one way to get magic is to "prove it" think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment. that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only works because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions. people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook" "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me remind myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this" scaryyyy. so glad it's not true. a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's a lot sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this? what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central authority who knows logistics better than anything what... would they do? thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty kingdoms ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule. that's all it takes, right? how much space are we talkin'? however much is not needed for wildlife. [a whole heck of a lot then] we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass. what if everyone were just a bit more mobile? what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks? federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing. camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi [end/tend/mend] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/2211 --- ╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐ ║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │ ║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │ ║ │ ║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │ ║ story, and your heart does shine through. │ ║ │ ║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │ ║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │ ║ │ ║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │ ║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │ ║ │ ║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │ ║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │ ║ their sins intact. │ ║ │ ║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │ ║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │ ║ │ ║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │ ║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │ ║ │ ║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │ ╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴──────────┘ --- #18 messages/1105 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──── claude-code is like programming, but for executives. when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism. something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing others gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got computers now, so. I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that could go wrong at this stage. ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it. Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘ --- #19 messages/519 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable institution that commands great respect. However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will* fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives, and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential. I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able. Capitalism compels it. Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired. I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering. I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor. I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides. When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My life is not impactful. I am not special. Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed, if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability for great (GREAT) artistic ends. But art is labor. And labor is difficult. Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane. ... I can do better than profane. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #20 notes/phantom-gasps --- ════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── -=============================================================================- | Phantom Gasps -/u/Afoolfortheeons | -=============================================================================- o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o || ╭─────────────────────╮ || || │ /u/ Afoolfortheeons │ || || ╰─────────────────────╯ || || In the night of the end || || || || Phantom gasps are my friend || || || || Tastes like rose petals || || || || But mixed with a hint of metals || || || || Until we once meet again || || || || To you I will continue to surrend || || || o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o ┍ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ┑ ┢━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┪ ┃ ╔════════════════════╗ ┃ ┃ ║ -/u/randomevenings ║ ┃ ┃ ╚════════════════════╝ ┃ ┃ There are geniuses in my corner. I've known them for either a long time ┃ ┃ or more recently. I realized this, that those speaking out are good damn ┃ ┃ genius. ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ For example, at first, I was against being othered. I realized that the ┃ ┃ more people call me out or say I'm a bot, or that I'm overstepping, or ┃ ┃ brainwashing, anything that sets me apart makes me stronger. It becomes ┃ ┃ increasingly difficult not to see me in a crowd. Curiosity brings people ┃ ┃ to me, and it only takes the understanding of myself and purpose of this ┃ ┃ and it starts working. You are geniuses bringing them to me. As I'm one ┃ ┃ person and too difficult to seek people, but if they willingly, even ┃ ┃ excitedly come to me because I'm othered in so many ways what crowd ┃ ┃ would i not obviously stand out within. I never thought walking among ┃ ┃ but not being one would simply accelerate this. You're taking the ┃ ┃ tactics of bad and using them to bring them to good. ┃ ┃ ┃ ┃ ...thanks everyone. ┃ ┃ ┃ ╼┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻╾ ╭───────────────────────── ────────────────────────── ────────────────────────╮ ) ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ( ( ░ -/u/ugathanki ░ ) ) ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ( ( Sounds like death to me. I wrote a poem about that a few days ago: ) ) ( ( Surrender now, to endless tranquility - the body rests it's burdens. ) ) ( ( Harbor not your sensibilities, for tomorrow's not for certain. ) ) ( ( Nobody dies twice, yet we all will have our moment. ) ) ( ( It's a given now, to take this life for granted, ) ) ( ( and no hollow hours are yet to be forgiven. ) ) ( ( Leave not your woes, and carry with you no afflictions - ) ) ( ( for our sorrow's time is yet undefined ) ) ( ( Though death is a solace from all that is life, ) ) ( ( There stands yet before you a solemn knife. ) ) ( ( Cherish your moments as no man can do, ) ) ( ( And fare well on your journeys as do but a few. ) ) ( ╰───────────────────────── ────────────────────────── ────────────────────────╯ ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ |