=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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Stores should store things.
"oh you need a lawnmower? Bring it back when you find another one."
"here's some food for you, and for you, and for you, and for you... Oh we're
out of that thing, sorry but we have plenty of other things and can help you
cook them and teach you so you can do it on your own."
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/2954 ---
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whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #2 fediverse/1414 ---
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│ CW: cursed-strange-weird-gardening-tip │
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they say that slugs don't like salt because they turn into pickles
of course that's not true, cucumbers turn into slugs when fed a diet of leaves
and cucumbers
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--- #3 fediverse/3951 ---
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"... and this is moss, our pile of soil. He's really cool, if you feed him
seeds and take care of his needs, then sometimes a couple months later he
spits out food. It's awesome. Plus you can throw away your trash there and
it'll just break it down whatever."
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--- #4 fediverse/2260 ---
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│ CW: food-mentioned │
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cookies or cheetos for dinner is better than nothing for dinner, but please
eat your vegetables when you can.
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--- #5 fediverse/2089 ---
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║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they │
║ shut up." │
║ │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af │
║ │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump" │
║ │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife, │
║ │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want" │
║ │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought │
║ │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities │
║ because they might get run over or whatever] │
║ │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it │
║ in the woods, they'll liv │
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--- #6 fediverse/3689 ---
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"mom can we have some kirby's air ride"
"sure we have kirby's air ride at home"
the kirby's air ride at home:
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--- #7 fediverse/2290 ---
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│ CW: re: a device design that may have lewd implications │
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@user-1153
congratulations, you invented humanoid robots! And hey they come in so many
shapes and colors, plus you can run them on nothing but rice, beans, and
nutrient paste. They're quite efficient at their jobs!
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--- #8 fediverse/3118 ---
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│ CW: politics │
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they want your stuff breaking after 5 years so that you always need them.
if you have everything you need, there's nothing stopping us from revolt
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--- #9 fediverse/4735 ---
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│ CW: homeless-drugs-mentioned-poop-mentioned │
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everyone's all like "oh we need to help the homeless people end their drug
addictions so let's punish them for having high levels of certain chemicals in
their blood feces and urine" when really what we should be doing is getting
them a Linux gameboy like an Anbernic
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--- #10 fediverse/4437 ---
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│ CW: guns-mentioned │
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buying guns is one thing
but food is just as important.
stores run out, but quartermasters know where to find things.
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--- #11 fediverse/4581 ---
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│ CW: re: fedi meta, vague, tangentially related │
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@user-883
this is how our islands become swamps
I'd love to live in a bog, so many bugs.
keep the spiders around, and they could feast on your toes (ouch)
or, hear me out, or, they could spin webs and keep the other bugs out
are you a bug or a girl or a guy or a bug or a girl or a
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--- #12 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #13 fediverse/3925 ---
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most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #14 fediverse/4787 ---
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don't take on more than you can handle. if your plate is full, don't check out
the notes by the roadside. Doing so tells all the nearby drivers "hey I need a
job, anyone got anything for me?" which they'll then drop off further along
the route to your house.
if you just walk on by then nobody will notice as you head home.
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--- #15 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #16 messages/156 ---
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Here's what you say to clover next week:
"hey. Wanna get coffee sometime? I need some trouble in my life. And I dunno,
maybe you need a witch.
You live in Tanasbourne, I live in Rock Creek. We're within walking distance
of each other, so we might as well say hi right? I'm free whenever, just let
me know if you'd like to meet me."
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--- #17 fediverse/3834 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
happen.
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--- #18 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #19 fediverse/4692 ---
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what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #20 messages/1100 ---
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the quality of a harvest is not measured in bushels,
if you need more, grow more.
the quality of a harvest is measured in the size and quality of the land
fruits.
less chopping, more eating.
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