=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── Dear queer people in general: If you want to have community, have dinner parties with 10+ people. Then, when you make friends, have hiking groups or D&D sessions or pub crawls. But never stop going to the dinner parties, because all you can do is get to know one another. I like hanging out at Workers Tap... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 messages/1006 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────── I believe you can only have community with people you live with, or work with. If you don't live with them, or work with them, then what do you share? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘ --- #2 messages/1177 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─── it's more than a community if only one person asks where you've been. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘ --- #3 fediverse/1738 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mh-, embarrassing │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-889 perhaps you need a community, rather than a friend? just a guess ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #4 messages/498 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── An important aspect to friendship is "loose" time together - like, at a party, you might interact with a dozen people, or you might spend it all with one special someone - but the time is "loose" you can do with it what you will. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/2510 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── @user-1074 if I wanted to accomplish this goal, I would host a fediverse server on a raspberry pi and post the link around the building (the owners will remove it so you gotta keep posting them) then, potlucks. then, friendships. then, organization. be patient with them. people are slow to be constructive. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/2614 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── literally just... if you want to connect to me, come hang out on my wavelength. or like, invite me to join yours, and I'll do my best to show how I feel about the things you share. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/5162 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── hey, do you wanna hang out sometime and do the things you usually do when you're alone? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/3089 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── if you're meeting a friend from out of town the first time, it's best if they arrive early and you have the day off to show them around. or if they arrive late, you can meet them in a public place the next day and then spend time at your favorite spots. ideally, with people who would recognize you if the person from out of town decided to be hurtful and/or replace you. plus, that way you can gauge their character and decide whether or not you want them in your own home. they might be different than they are online, after all. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/1617 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── daydreaming about a gang of tough guys who goes around knocking down the internal fence walls in suburbia and throwing potlucks for all the neighbors for a month or two so they have social opportunities to meet each other and make friends ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 messages/1251 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── there's also public parks, and who knows what might happen if you talk to someone randomly and then a bunch of people start to gather. I bet you could even say something like "hey do you want to go gather over there by the [cafeteria, but pronounced cafeter, but pronounced ca-feh-[taer, but pronounced like the back half of where]] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #11 fediverse/5017 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── you don't have to like someone to be in a community with them. you don't have to want what's happening to consent to it. enthusiastic consent is like friendship. It doesn't have to be present, but it's what you optimize for. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/2030 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── Building community without structure is kinda like being a quest-giving non-player character in World of Warcraft. I don't mean that you stand around waiting for a player to wander nearby before shouting at them to do what you want. Not like that. Building community without structure is more like meeting someone randomly, knowing them for longer than a bus ride or a baseball game, and once you've decided that they're cool saying "hey there's someone you might like to meet." If they're into it, then talk to the other person, and see if they want to make a new friend. Try not to recommend someone who has a lot on their mind. If they hit it off, great! If not, oh well! Worst case scenario the coffee shop only sells two drinks. If you're gregarious enough, after a while you might even have enough people for a potluck. Just don't forget to keep adding, and eventually it'll start to feel more communal. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 messages/1176 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─── it's not a community if nobody would ask where you've been. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘ --- #14 fediverse/1263 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── @user-883 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/4463 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── at this point in time you probably shouldn't be forming NEW online communities unless you're part of an OLD community that just isn't radical enough. And then you should try and MERGE communities into larger, more geographically concentrated ones. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/4470 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── to be "rich" is to have more than another. if you are happy, they are happiness poor. if you have community, they are alone. if you have serenity, they are chaotic. I am rich in very little but fire in my soul. I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent. I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes me and keeps me aligned. Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as you do so too. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/2123 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── Every time you see the same dog being dog-sat by another person it's an opportunity to make a new friend. or do you not know your apartment neighbors? do they not wander through your shared yards? the ones with dogs, at least. and no, I don't know many of my neighbors. these are considerations to be taken note of for future forethought planning. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/1584 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: Lonely vent about pride month │ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-883 You need to rely on other people less. Find your own happiness in your own home. Make friends with the people around you. If you don't like your home, then why would you live there? If you don't like your neighbors, then why would you trust them enough to live next to them? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/3031 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think you'd want to do. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/1438 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ if you're gonna kill yourself anyway, might as well throw yourself at a cause you believe in. Ideally the kind that requires repeated attendance and lots of opportunities to make friends or forge communal bonds with people who can help you. honestly, what do you have to lose? sure it's hard, but nothing worth doing is easy. If it were, someone else would have done it already. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ |