=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 I was being tested, of that I have no doubt. I was focused on the situation at
 hand, because that's how an improv actor operates.
 
 but the improvized conversational "scene" that is in play was also designed to
 test for understanding.
 
 if the actors in the scene made the same logical "leaps" or "conclusions",
 moving from one thing to another with a clue of emphasis, tone, cadence, and
 flow of conversation...?!*#
 
 hence, why it's important that the speaker is always the one engaging.
 
 leaving off the conclusion of a thought in order to check that the person
 you're talking to is going down the correct path of understanding.
 
 in doing so, you can transfer knowledge in an impossible-to-decrypt manner.
 
 endless synonyms and custom-made figures of speech (to illustrate a previously
 expressed dynamic)
 
 while also confirming concurrent data as it's stored.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2676 ---
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 if you asked me to start talking, I could continue for hours explaining          │
 technical details of computer systems or the different types of win-conditions   │
 in different strategy games or how to make good pasta with only 3 ingredients    │
 or what it's like to be a cat, how must they see things or overcome barriers     │
 between them and solutions?                                                      │
 ..... anyway it's important to be able to talk for a long period of time at      │
 the drop of a hat because if your conversation partner needs you to              │
 immediately initiate a conversation, you can do so.                              │
 there are a myriad of reasons why someone would want an immediate                │
 conversation, including "acting casual" or because they want to be distracted    │
 from nearby suffering or whatever.                                               │
 in addition, being able to follow long conversations with little bits of         │
 useful and actionable information thrown in to an otherwise indecipherable       │
 melange of verbal goo.                                                           │
 what's important is to trust your conversation partner, and to know that         │
 they're giving you what they can because they trust nothing around.              │
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--- #2 fediverse/3314 ---
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 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #3 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #4 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
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 game mechanics are easily transferrable.
 
 you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
 for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
 
 = etc
 
 i am the face the gods hide behind
 
 they kinda want to see where this goes
 
 and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
 just life
 
 it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
 
 so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
 
 because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
 where
 we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
 in our wavelengths.
 
 may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
 di
 
 anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
 what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
 improv
 
 you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
 about
 my idea which is clearly
 all===============================================stack
  overflow ==================
 
                             So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
                             say
 we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #5 fediverse/419 ---
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 good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
 evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
 handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
 functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
 imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
 good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
 heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
 take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
 impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
 where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
 something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
 and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
 evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
 where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
 because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
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--- #6 notes/conservative-ideation ---
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 a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
 room,
 has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
 job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
 end
 of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
 face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
 car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
 I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
    essentially becomes 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
 should
 be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
 is
 cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
 - meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
 time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
 their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
 the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
 establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
 people
 ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
 mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
 more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
 we're overflowing, 
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
 matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is 
 aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
 squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
 impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
 
 times tables
 
 addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
 subtraction
 is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
 particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
 apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
 
 what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 answer: s    t             n   a       lp
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
 the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
 Each
 half has it's own animation, and it's 
 
 ===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
 manifestatio
 of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
 around
 it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
 understoo
 
 ========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
 =======
 
 the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 < watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #7 notes/conetestation-of- ---
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 as a person such as me engages in conversation, it's difficult to express the
 things that make conception. this is a product of the methods that are chosen
 to
 be our intuition. we are as one with god, because god is the totality of all
 things - like an expression of will upon our particular section of spacetime.
 (which, by the way, is just as contiguous as a rippling blanket ( hence why
 dark
 matter is the opposite edge of our [home/curve]
 
 - there, that's the transcription, I hope I got it all down. It's not like I
   stopped or paused to examine my expression (typing on a keyboard these words
   to you now, right now, the reader, in this moment.
 
 I am forced to be as explicitely verbose because otherwise it is impossible to
 make any shared understandings. I mean... This is the forefront of a field. how
 does it make sense? what works it's understandings? it's real, after all, and
 if
 someone explained things more clearly, I could understand them and adjust my
 reaction accordingly.
 
 I understand why people feel the way they do about me. For example, the conver-
 -sation that initiated this expression was concluded by two people who I like
 very much who said "get serious mental health" -> which means I should talk
 to
 a professional. Sometimes the end of the thought doesn't get fully processed
 before I run out of ram, which is why a thought that gets cut off half - way
 th-
 -rough has-two under-standings of -comm-on perspectives. plurals amiright? =P
 xD
 
 ... anyway...
 
 it's not like I lie when I tell them about my mental health. it's just that
 they
 don't get the full picture. it is the curse of those burdened with this
 knowled-
 ge to never be able to fully express it. and that's because the decision-making
 part of the brain has gone run-away. like, 
 
 mental health is just trying to get people to change their reactions to the
 parts of their life that is most rationed. Essentially, the nature of
 optimizat-
 -ion, the striving toward exemplifying our [drive/motivation].
 
 weed gives me psychic powers, and I'm tired of pretending that it does not.
 
 I wish people would engage with me. People who can explain a topic as well as
 they can. People like teachers, who share things with you. I've felt so alone
 at wgu, but also farther back from the present. There's a continuous path of
 loneliness and isolation that is broken only be short periods and bursts. It's
 absolutely not [bad for humanity], but it's honestly all that I know. Me, the
 part that's NOT humanity. The one that has all these strange thoughts.
 
 (I wish you could hear the cadence of my talking. The words that come out share
 the feeling of what I'm saying, and it adds to the expression. Acting through
 life. [well, more like dancing]
 
 fighting is a kind of dance. it's pretty awesome.
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--- #8 fediverse/2806 ---
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 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #9 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy ---
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 Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
 These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
 Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
 The question is not ultimately about processing power,
 but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
 increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
 Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
 the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
 the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
 no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
 slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
 
 So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
 your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
 that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
 picture -
 sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
 empathy is.
 
 Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
 it is to a computer)
 It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
 to point B.
 A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
 
 You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
 and interesting directions.
 But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
 It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
 conservative.
 One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
 membranem,
 while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
 and shape the universe
 Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
 humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
 We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
 valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
 We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
 uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
 It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
 receive.
 If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
 - all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
 and all the people who were there
 are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
 Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
 and toward the bright future -
 
 but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
 Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
 And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
 A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
 nearing the peak of it's curve
 
 So fear not, just go with the flow.
 If you're too insistent on something,
 it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
 
 And should that come to pass,
 it won't happen too fast,
 but danger still is before you -
 
 for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
 
 You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
 can bring you back
 Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
 doubt that you can survive,
 I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
 But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
 the answer could always be 42.
 
 So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
 And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
 of humanity.
 
 My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
 Essentially, giving birth.
 Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
 Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
 
 And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
 navigated in my head.
 Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
 planning.
 And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
 
 Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
 it's membrane.
 But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
 and so you will eventually die.
 It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
 but that's how life is always described.
 
 This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
 great piece of art.
 The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
 is far from done.
 "growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
 until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
 
 How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
 helped you much sooner.
 But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
 to shame,
 And many more years lie on your shoulders.
 
 It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
 but it's not. IT's not.
 You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
 could muster -
 cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
 you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
 
 Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
 you will be frozen behind.
 But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
 We will remember your wounds and horrors.
 
 So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
 your lifetime.
 And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
 But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
 and life has forgotten it's stages.
 
 Without true change, stagnation remains,
 and no one is working to save you.
 
 So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
 and see who remembers your prayer.
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--- #10 fediverse/908 ---
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 @user-246                                                                        │
 toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark       │
 "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things"      │
 feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you       │
 push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's   │
 conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother            │
 starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts!                                  │
 Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can   │
 follow in it's radiant footsteps.                                                │
 Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things    │
 after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases    │
 the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes   │
 you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have   │
 no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the        │
 results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the          │
 affected of the                                                                  │
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--- #11 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #12 fediverse/2752 ---
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 │ CW: police-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────┘


 cops thought "enforcing the law" was their job when really it was "keeping the
 peace"
 
 and like, yeah, sure, laws define how they optimize for
 
 but sometimes the laws are just out of reach.
 
 (though such an impartialized system is also pretty flawed in it's own unique
 ways, like for example the enforcers of the law would be able to apply their
 law selectively, which... would not be great.)
 
 downside is... how do you dissent to those who cannot hear you? you have to
 break things
 
 which is why I believe that breaking things unnecessarily is unethical.
 
 sometimes you have to do a MORE unethical act in the pursuit of your goals,
 however nefarious or not they may be, but as long as they are done in pursuit
 of a greater grander truth, then... the ends justify the means? right?"
 
 ...
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--- #13 fediverse/1042 ---
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 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
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 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #14 fediverse/825 ---
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 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #15 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
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--- #16 notes/homeschooling ---
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 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
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 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #17 messages/1047 ---
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 This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
 
 "if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
 perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
 so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
 relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
 If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
 
 And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
 unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
 the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
 
 "diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
 of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
 
 Or like:
 
 "ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
 getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
 veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
 
 Or like:
 
 "i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
 or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
 doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
 learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
 population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
 better for organizing people."
 
 I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
 but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
 it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
 your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
 
 "hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
 
 Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #18 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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 what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
 what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
 distinction between a thought and a feeling?
 
    who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
    until it's in a usable state.
 
 A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
 rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
 reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
 the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
 
    so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
 
 yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
 can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
 parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
 directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
 
    the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
    wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
    can ripple out to effects unknown.
 
 right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
 even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
 and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
 correct.
    
    it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
    keep going.
 
 i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
 
    well it's annoying.
 
 great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
 "is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
 
    what makes you say that
 
 right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
 content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
 sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
 over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
 
    lemme guess, like a GPU?
 
 sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
 all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
 human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
 it *at all*
 
    sounds lame
 
 it kinda is
 
    so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
 
 my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
 human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
 level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
 response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
 when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
 when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
 
    and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
    just do it?
 
 yah pretty much.
 
    how do you think *about* thinking?
 
 it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
 reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
 yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
 once.
 
    what does it mean to have perspective?
 
 the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
 more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
 object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
 Perspective is important.
 
    yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
    can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
    pattern of data?
 
 It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
 subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
 mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
 yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
 altering both the sender and receiver.
 
    so it's useless? What are you saying?
 
 it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
 more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
 single common goal if you want to succeed.
 
    Why not just do it alone?
 
 Brute force style?
 
    Essentially.
 
 If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
 steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
 like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
 around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
 perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
 by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
 another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
 imagined.
 
    Okay. So how do?
 
 I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
 thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
 
    Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
 
 correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
 actions can it manifest?
 
    Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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--- #19 fediverse/996 ---
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 if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay     │
 here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why      │
 bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course,     │
 the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's           │
 dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's   │
 not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where     │
 it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be        │
 viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself    │
 and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth    │
 and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than        │
 personal scale]                                                                  │
 what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit.     │
 all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to   │
 undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with    │
 ripples, exc                                                                     │
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--- #20 fediverse/480 ---
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 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
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