=== ANCHOR POEM ===
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
@user-95
I'm not too scared about what's within. I mean, I've done LSD like 5 times and
cannabis 500 times, and I've spent that time intentionally unravelling
internal threads. There is nothing within me that scares me.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 bluesky#36 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
people are terrified, yet within me I feel a bright brilliant light.
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--- #2 fediverse/2688 ---
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"you are better than fear. I know this for I have seen your soul, as it is the
same shape as mine."
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--- #3 fediverse/5650 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
I exist now at the height of my gluttony.
I need more to be demanded of me.
I am not afraid to ask for help.
I solve other people's problems before my own.
I have very little insight into my habits and patterns.
My memory isn't great, but I recall details that matter.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
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--- #4 fediverse/5982 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
when I stretch, it feels like I'm finally getting blood flow to my farthest
parts.
when I work out, it's like I'm pumping health through my body. but only when
I'm in a rhythm. when I'm going for very long, I get hallucinations like I'm
stoned. I once walked for 3 days straight with 2 hours of rest, plus standing
every time I crossed the street waiting for cars. never sitting though. and a
lean was only for laughs.
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--- #5 fediverse/2326 ---
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I'm not afraid to die, but if I was I'd probably just lie. Fear is the
mindkiller, and to share it as terror and not caution deals morale a blow.
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--- #6 fediverse/2800 ---
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@user-351
I've had more than a few dreams about just... sitting in a room full of
observational equipment and doing nothing except, like, writing in a journal
or staring off into space.
what a weird dream, right ?? ?
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--- #7 fediverse/373 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: truth about weed │
└──────────────────────────┘
@user-278
I can't do weed in public places. I need to be alone so that I can properly
use the altered mental state to be weird on the internet.
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--- #8 fediverse/4225 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I'm not scared. I know that whatever happens, we're here for each other.
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--- #9 fediverse/5490 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
wao this is great I love being high why don't I do this more often?
[oops cannabis-mentioned one sec]
"BECAUSE YOU ALTER THE FABRIC OF REALITY WITH IT??"
oh yeah that'd do it
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--- #10 fediverse/4537 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
ah nuts, I didn't have enough money to pay the internet bill.
So if I disappear and/or delete my account in the near future, that's
definitely why.
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--- #11 messages/1068 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
why would they psyop me? there's a psyop about me! heck, I've never done so as
I pleased. that's an aspiration. everything I do is at a command, whether it's
my own or external.
these days I find myself following my own. mostly. though I am always waiting
for collaboration opportunities.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #12 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #13 fediverse/112 ---
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I live through the moments where I find a folder of stuff I made that I forgot
about and I can go back and see it for the first time.
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--- #14 fediverse/1175 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
I count 8 pickle jars in my fridge, of which about half have at least one
pickle.
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--- #15 fediverse/2858 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health │
└──────────────────────┘
I've had the same zit on the middle back of my neck for like, 6 months now, at
least. how weird right
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--- #16 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
the other kind.
I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
that's enough for me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #17 fediverse/3059 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I only sorta know what a "reply guy" is and at this point I'm scared to ask
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/5896 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
I'm not evil. I have the potential to tho so I always have to keep an eye out
for what it looks like.
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│similar│chronological│different │
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--- #19 fediverse/4758 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
I'm gonna go psycherwaul into my journals for a bit, if I come back today
it'll be extra waul-y so, idk, beware I guess
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│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #20 fediverse/2424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
if I don't take this job, then I'm going to be homeless.
if I do, then I'll be moving to a different city.
a city that I don't know.
my upbringing tells me that this isn't a choice at all, but...
at least I have a place to keep my stuff. maybe I can find a different job.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #21 fediverse/1321 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
whenever I look away they put more work at the end of my to-do list. or
sometimes in the middle. It's like they care less about the destination and
more about the continuous arduous prolonged manifestation of articulation.
>.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #22 fediverse/1259 ---
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@user-895
hi! I'm Ritz Menardi, I'm a little strange. I sometimes post scary things on
here. I try to put content warnings on everything intense, but sometimes it
gets a little out of hand and I forget... I'm also a poet. Spiritual at best,
a little schizophrenic at worse, but at all times I try to be true to myself.
If you don't like the vibes I 100% won't be upset if you unfollow / block me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #23 messages/1118 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
They say you don't need drugs to reach transcendent states of mind.
But, I've found that forming yourself into a person who can do that
necessarily changes you.
I don't know if i want that kind of change. Are they all improvements?
Perhaps.
So, drugs are a nice option if you want to remain yourself yet also teach
those states of mine.
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--- #24 messages/267 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
I wonder how many things I've forgot? More every minute, I'd say, and though I
try and chronicle them all... What's there to say?
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--- #25 messages/1039 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
I'm worth it.
I don't demand much. Feed me, take change of me, care for what i do, that's
pretty much all.
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--- #26 messages/206 ---
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The whole time I was camping on Wyoming, I never once felt scared. As a kid I
was a hero, an adventurer, a warrior and a director. I'd plan out engagements
and fight as an actor. It was fun! And I never was afraid, so I never got
possessed by a forest spirit or anything like that. No evil witches either.
No, the witch came later I think.
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--- #27 fediverse/459 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
You know, you can always ask me what the fuck I'm talking about. I am more
than willing to share, and I don't mind taking a moment or three to explain.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/6391 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
"yeah sure, I know how to work the gizmonotron-5000. Lemme finish up my
internal-deciduous-percolator project and I'll show you how I do my method."
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #29 messages/566 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
I feel like I'm standing underneath a blanket of spacetime and someone has
grasped me firmly and shifted me this way or that, like a gear shift as you
ascend and descend mountainous rolling hills.
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--- #30 fediverse/5890 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
man, all I wanna do is smoke weed, play games, and make cool things.
there's literally nothing stopping me from doing those things, I just. wanted
to say that I wanna do those things.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
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--- #31 fediverse/2106 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
@user-192
... I've said too much, the thought-loop police are onto me. I must away!
swoop cape
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--- #32 fediverse/1423 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
"of course, I'm on lots of places on the internet. I know my way around the
territory. I can show you a bit, if you dare, so come on this journey as I
share."some person, some-when, in the future looking at our storied and
ancient past
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #33 messages/96 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
"Oh don't keep track of the license plates in your apartment complex, that's
paranoid"
"Oh don't worry that you've never seen the same person at the grocery store
more than once, even though you always go to the same one, you're just
paranoid"
I'm being hypnotized
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cat-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #35 fediverse/4173 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I swear if kamala is elected I will do everything in my power to actually work
on my projects and get a job and be a good human
... wait, I already was doing that. But I'll be less stressed out, so... it'll
be easier?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #36 fediverse/349 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-religion-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────┘
@user-249 just means you put more points into intelligence than perception at
character creation.
different people are good at different things, some are just really good at
feeling their spiritual environment. Also lots of people report transcendental
religious awakenings after doing psychedelics? Might be related, should look
into. I mean... didn't the CIA do experiments in the 70s or whatever on LSD?
Something something lucid dreaming
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--- #37 messages/246 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
I have travelled the world, and in all of my journeys I have found nothing but
different colors of home.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/1895 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: C-programming-and-alcohol-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1074
yeah drinking's overrated. I know I'd rather eat a home-cooked meal any day.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/2215 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
I'm kind of a hermit, but it's sunday and I have nothing to do, so I'm going
to get lost on my bike today in a city I've lived near for almost 5 years and
really should know better by now.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #40 fediverse/3717 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health-minus │
└─────────────────────────┘
hey, you know how historically they used to lobotomize young women who were
too fiery, passionate, independent, driven, motivated, and clairvoyant?
they did that on purpose.
that was less than a lifetime ago.
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--- #41 fediverse/4255 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I think a lot of my problems would be solved if I could internalize the
thought/feeling of telling yourself "stay focused"
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│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #42 fediverse/5666 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
does contest me.
all things are defined in waves
ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
she and we and the.
I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
better.
or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
- stack overflow
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #43 bluesky#20 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
ahhhhh I'm scared to play old games on my steam library, I don't want to lose
the record of when I most played them
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #44 fediverse/4760 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: shit-drugs-and-cursing-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
how it started: "I want to get stoned and play mechabellum (shit, drugs
mentioned (shit, cursing mentioned))
how it's going: [see attached picture]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘
--- #45 fediverse/3970 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
@user-1628
same... it's like I am conditioned to forget, but without it I am an exposed
nerve.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #46 fediverse/4345 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-883
every time I've tried to get a job for someone in the tech industry they
turned out to be a fed, so...
I do know people that you'd like to talk to, though. Just a few. That's all I
personally can do.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 fediverse/3925 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #48 messages/1234 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
"how much time do we have?"
"not enough for fear."
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘
--- #49 fediverse_boost/5991 ---
◀─╔═══════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════───────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ I Am The Weed Witch Making Cannabutter In My Cauldron │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧───────╝─▶
--- #50 messages/656 ---
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... I'm going to sit in bed and eat cheetos all day.
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--- #51 fediverse/5246 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
lol I spent half an hour holding a trowel and then I designed a new type of
digging instrument
and they want me to work a job /eyeroll
/stickey-outey-tonguey-face/pics/all/total/* -ffvagrnbeexey --no-menus 14
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘
--- #52 fediverse/2361 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: pol │
└──────────────────────┘
If you are stressed about the world, it's often because you are afraid of
losing what you have.
The cure to this feeling is to realize that you never had anything to begin
with, you only rented it.
Soon we will be free.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #53 fediverse/5686 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
my friends tell me stories and I build my ideas for relationships based on
their pain.
I am always haunted by questions they don't want to answer.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #54 fediverse/3061 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #55 fediverse/4037 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
I dream of a home where I don't have to worry about people who might hear the
noises I make
... and that includes secret government microphones hidden in the walls, thank
you very much.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #56 fediverse/108 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-95 I'm also fond of "I can't know", for things that exist beyond our
finite existence. For example, the perspective of another, for all it's
intrinsic value. Being too quick to trust, though, is an easy path to follow.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #57 fediverse/3491 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
@user-620
"hey I have an idea let's poke a wounded animal with sharp teeth until it
feels like it's backed into a corner because it's been spending the past
couple years ruminating and telling itself that we want to kill it and it's
children"
it doesn't matter what the truth is - they believe what they want.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #58 fediverse/6302 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #59 fediverse/5414 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
the spirits are telling me to hang out with homeless people and do fentanyl
again.
haha weird, gonna try resisting that if I can.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘
--- #60 fediverse/3766 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-medical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna ask my doctor for ADHD meds so I can hopefully jump-skip framebuffer
divebomb spinadoodle half A press my way over the fucking labyrinth that is my
weird and jank af mind
and no I don't watch speedruns but my social group hears me a lot of them.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘
--- #61 messages/1197 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
... I've never been to China. Maybe it's not so bad. I mean, I live in America
after all.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘
--- #62 fediverse/5704 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
we've been in a state of revolution for hundreds of years and you think it's
okay to just slack off?
[I'm resting]
[life is hard]
okay then don't psychically promise to be somewhere for something if you're
tired
[okay mom -.-]
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #63 fediverse/2855 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I refuse to be known by anyone who doesn't know me. But I'm always meeting
people anew, so if they spent some time with me and saw more of my facets,
perhaps they might come to know me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #64 fediverse/3155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #65 fediverse/2774 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I want to emphasize that my mask is just as much a part of me as the other
part.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #66 fediverse/4249 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-mentioned-violence-and-cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
wow so fiery, you're sure worked up aren't you >.
yeah it's almost like I fear for the lives of people like me who live in the
deep red sea
I think I'm allowed a little patience
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #67 messages/997 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
I want a revolution because i want to be at home in my homeland.
Look at me! Be as me! I yearn to tell my friends. But they're too busy being
like themselves.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘
--- #68 fediverse/450 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
@user-334
You wouldn't believe the amount of time I spend wondering if a particular typo
was divinely inspired and actually super important or... if it was just a
fat-finger and I accidentally pushed a button I didn't intend.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #69 notes/blah-blah-blah ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I lived here
I worked here... and here
my dad lived here
I also went to college here
I lived up here... and here
I miss my home
I'd skii here
keystone was my favorite
I did LSD for the first time in these mountains
I also worked up here
(growing weed right next to a nature preserve)
doh
my family used to live here (less than 10,000 people
in the big horn valley
I was born here
in the fading light of the Sandia Crest
I've lived in all parts of America, east, middle, and west
I like them all for different reasons
this is where you live
at least, that's what I've heard
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #70 fediverse/3702 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────┘
just helped a friend move to a new place in 92` fahrenheit... I am
exHAUSted... and a different friend invited me to a bar T.T
we'll see how I feel after a shower and a nap.
I'm honestly a little delirious teehee
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #71 fediverse/6292 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
I'm stuck. I don't know how to leverage whatever talents I have into making
things happen. Maybe I should seek advice from a wise elder...
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘
--- #72 fediverse/4237 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I can count all of the people in this room who are too neurospicy to be filled
with political rage and given a public platform on one hand, and frankly I
could probably do it on a single finger because I am alone at the moment.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #73 messages/414 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
The following is my best attempt to describe the process through which our
lives intersect reality. It is easiest to explain if you understand how it
feels to be stoned - to consume the de-oxy-carbo-lated cannibanoids present in
the marijuana plant - ideally with edibles, as they take effect slower.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #74 fediverse/4546 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #75 messages/1143 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
if you wanna do drugs on a battlefield, get twisted and high and drunk. Just
enough, not as much as usual. let adrenaline focus take care of the rest.
"uhhh, yeah can you file that one under advice for warriors?"
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘
--- #76 fediverse/3075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-246
I have a lot to say. If there's no room for me, I'll make room. If they don't
want me, they should say so, and break my heart a little bit.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘
--- #77 fediverse/1524 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
maybe I should try microdosing, see if I can convince this part of me to stick
around
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #78 fediverse/3678 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
I stopped smoking cannabis because possible job and wow... life feels between
4 and 6 times longer
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘
--- #79 fediverse/2629 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-249
oh y'know just sleeping until I see something I can do.
I am not afraid, now or ever, but I am sleepy.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #80 fediverse/2651 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
kinda tempted to make like, 20 different accounts on like, 20 different
mastodon instances and just have them repost all of the things I've written in
the past one-by-one-by-one until someone notices and calls me out on it
might get some more conversation, at least
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #81 messages/654 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
I spent so long searching for the right answers, I didn't realize lips that
are loosened have kill counts of their own.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #82 fediverse/1841 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
curling up in a ball and thinking about crying for hours is the same as
crying. If a little bit less of a release.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #83 fediverse/4026 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
why is everyone so confused about how I turned out?
I literally spent my whole childhood telling stories to myself
(inspired by the world, and stories I had read, with mechanics like games I
had played)
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #84 fediverse/141 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
@user-135 if you're cringing at past behavior, then you've learned and grown
enough to see the mistakes of the past in sharp contrast to your temperament
in the present.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #85 fediverse/4227 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
I'm wasting time.
face them
my soul tells me
for some reason
I can't stop writing poetry
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #86 fediverse/2480 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
so what if people want to sit on the couch eating cheetos? they're more than
capable of something far greater, but of course they are allowed to spend as
they like their life.
their ONLY life.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #87 fediverse_boost/4425 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ If anyone out there is thinking, "I need to arm myself to the teeth" - I'm not gonna try to dissuade you. │║║││║║│ But promise me you'll take every available safety class for whatever hardware you decide to equip yourself with, OK? │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #88 fediverse/1322 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: hard-drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
one of the greatest gifts LSD gave me was the ability to look in the mirror
and see a person beyond me.
your reflection has all the same emotions as you, and if you look at them like
you'd try to parse the feelings of a friend, you can learn a bit more about
how you're thinking.
... procrastination >.>
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #89 fediverse/5092 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
"you know what this dish needs? some ramen noodle seasoning. Hang on, I think
I got some in my junk drawer."
said nobody ever
everyone knows there isn't just ONE junk drawer, but several hundred. They
multiply in the middle of the night, but it's by such a small constant factor
(0.015 ish according to our top scientists) that you don't notice until it
"flips the bit" and hits the new landmark which marks the miles since you got
stoned.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #90 fediverse/5142 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
"you know what this dish needs? some ramen noodle seasoning. Hang on, I think
I got some in my junk drawer."
said nobody ever
everyone knows there isn't just ONE junk drawer, but several hundred. They
multiply in the middle of the night, but it's by such a small constant factor
(0.015 ish according to our top scientists) that you don't notice until it
"flips the bit" and hits the new landmark which marks the miles since you got
stoned.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘
--- #91 fediverse/4543 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
@user-1698
Ha that does sound pretty "fun" - I take it you aren't a pianist?
I smell bad because... reasons... so I am always hyper-aware of myself when
I'm in situations like that. The idea that I might ruin someone's day by being
there terrifies me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘
--- #92 fediverse/2881 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
"never lose your totem"
I only lose things when in motion. at rest I know where everything is.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘
--- #93 fediverse/824 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
I once heard that time doesn't pass when you're well and truly in the moment,
and I thought "that's not true, I'm always losing track of the moment".
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┘
--- #94 fediverse/3936 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
you shouldn't trust me because I'll let you down.
I would never betray you. But when tasked with my own actions and my own
agency, I never make the right choice.
Like a rabbit who can always find their way home, I am drawn, almost
gravitically, to the path before me, a path which seems to avoid anything
resolute.
alas.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #95 fediverse/1290 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: minors-DNI-cannabis-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
@user-919 @user-203
hey don't worry, I had too many edibles and was feeling passionate, don't
worry you are loved
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘
--- #96 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #97 fediverse/814 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #98 fediverse/4014 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
I don't know about you, but "trying my hardest" involves giving up sometimes.
How else are you to know your limits if you don't test your boundaries? And,
after finding that there's nowhere else for you to go, you turn around and
"give up", until you're ready for your next expedition.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘
--- #99 fediverse/721 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-and-homelands │
└────────────────────────────────┘
Hello, I am a witch and this is my altar.
Here, I dream of a green USA.
covered by the branches,
my body decays into parts,
ready to join the next life that needs me.
[read the alt-text on the pictures, or listen to your screenreader for more
explanation]
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--- #100 messages/214 ---
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Gonna take a break from this whole thing. I got a sign that I'm a bad person,
twice. To confirm. I need to change, and since I don't know what I'm just
going to try and do nothing for a bit.
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--- #101 fediverse/2786 ---
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the best way, I find, to be deserving of trust is to do the best that you can,
and be honest when you cannot do more.
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--- #102 messages/505 ---
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I am brave with what I say but fearful with what I do
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--- #103 fediverse/406 ---
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"imagine if this was the last thing you remembered"me, last night, in a state
of mind that I don't remember today
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--- #104 messages/506 ---
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... That's not true, I am incapable of fear. I possess an abundance of
caution, however.
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--- #105 fediverse/5841 ---
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I find maybe one or two days a week to work on my projects. About one or two
days to be spent publicly. The rest of the time I'm handling myself, my
chores, my girlfriends, and various mundane things.
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--- #106 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #107 messages/304 ---
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Relax.
Take it from me.
I won't resist, at least I'll try, and if I start suddenly then it hurts and
you should go slower. Unless I do three short, three long, three short.
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--- #108 messages/296 ---
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The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you
*think* you're telepathic, then you will be.
There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content
with what you build for yourself.
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--- #109 fediverse/5300 ---
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how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
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--- #110 fediverse/903 ---
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the tree of life is a geyser of time cast out onto our bones through an
endlessly complicating pile of matter. I am beautiful, I am perfect, and so
are you.
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--- #111 fediverse/6271 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #112 fediverse/2891 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: physical-health │
└──────────────────────┘
they're painting the inside of my apartment and it naturally has low airflow
in here and it's seeping under my door and making me woozy teehee better open
all the windows
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--- #113 fediverse/1801 ---
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people call me "hypervigilant" as if being constantly aware is not a normal
state for them.
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--- #114 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #115 fediverse/782 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: "schitzoposting" │
└──────────────────────────┘
@user-579
if I'm not in this picture then what am I
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--- #116 fediverse/235 ---
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│ CW: re: horror │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-192 there's a fine line between inoculating yourself to fear (like a
person taking small doses of poison to build up a resistance) and giving your
mind extra ammunition to use against you when the real terrors find you.
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--- #117 fediverse/2911 ---
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and now for my unrepentant littlespace arc! Look at me I'm SoOoOoOo silLY 🤪
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--- #118 fediverse/1328 ---
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@user-883
I read your essay on chapter 5! I liked your words. I had different thoughts
watching it (probably because of the cannabis teehee) so it was interesting to
hear your perspective. I want to watch it again so I can remember what I want
to tell you about it! Ahhhhh maybe tomorrow I'll read chapter 6's essay. I
gotta download those soon so I can show my IRL friends.
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--- #119 fediverse/6133 ---
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if there were a drone, 15 feet above my face constantly observing, I would not
act different at all. It will feel as if nothing has changed.
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--- #120 fediverse/2967 ---
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@user-138
"here's how to get caught. don't... don't do the things in these books. also,
uh... don't do the things that AREN'T in these books, wink"
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--- #121 fediverse/2815 ---
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I am NOT larping. I am expressing how I feel imaginatively.
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--- #122 fediverse/5698 ---
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you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any
particular moment-event-message.
besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can.
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--- #123 fediverse/6038 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
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my worst impulse is to sit around and do nothing when there could be weed that
I was smoking
gotta be ready in-case things go south... I'm a witch, after all. who better
to call to the spirits drawn to conflict and strife, bothing them and saying
"hey, pay attention to me and my life?"
it's not like time is wasted for them. they are an orientation, not a
lifeform. time is no consequence when they can be anywhere at once.
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--- #124 fediverse/4853 ---
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│ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
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wanna know how to go underground?
just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
possible.
hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
in your journals.
not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #125 fediverse/938 ---
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@user-649
same... sometimes it feels like I step on toes that I didn't know existed! I
got tired of walking on egg shells so now I just try and religiously put
content warnings on things that feel intense.
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--- #126 messages/177 ---
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There's no potential left of me. I am a husk, a shadow of my former
possibilities. None left to manifest, and so I huddle in the shade of what
once was ambition as I wait for the silence to take hold.
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--- #127 fediverse/63 ---
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I swear Conan the Barbarian is an autistic icon I mean he walked in a circle
for like 20 YEARS. I can only do a couple hours. What a champ.
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--- #128 fediverse/2232 ---
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│ CW: re: detransitioning-plans-uspol-scary │
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@user-1209
I'm sharp, but up close, and only when enraged.
Passports fully up to date though, for the same reason that if you live near a
river, it's often useful to have a boat.
I don't intend to flee, no matter my destiny, I'm here for the words I will
have spoke.
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--- #129 messages/1156 ---
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The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #130 fediverse/6304 ---
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Take away the elements in order of apparent non-importance
Hmmmmm.... I'm gonna stay inside unless I decide to go outside. How's that?
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--- #131 fediverse/461 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
problem.
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--- #132 messages/146 ---
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maybe if I slept until the end of time,
I'd do better on the way back.
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--- #133 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #134 fediverse/508 ---
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@user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353
Sorry. I'm (probably) schizophrenic so I say weird things sometimes.
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--- #135 messages/618 ---
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It's okay to be scared. *I'm scared too*. All we can do is try.
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--- #136 fediverse/677 ---
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@user-78
I read about half of this:
https://jo.wtf/6d.html
before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
[sorry for being gay on your timeline]
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--- #137 fediverse/572 ---
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Hi, I'm learning about semaphores right now and trying to explain them to a
friend. But I only sorta understand how they work - can anyone look at this
pseudocode and tell me if I'm on the right track?
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--- #138 fediverse/612 ---
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Look all I'm saying is if I had an acolyte or two then my insane ramblings
could be filtered and parsed by a real actual human instead of being copied
wholesale onto the internet, where the inconsequential or inconceivable ones
are left to rest alongside the gifts of knowledge from another realm.
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--- #139 fediverse/3031 ---
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the things that I suggest we do when we hang out are not because those are the
things I most want to do, but rather because they are the things that I think
you'd want to do.
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--- #140 messages/765 ---
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you don't have to write poetry to write notes. The poetics are just practice
for when secrecy is intended.
OR IS IT THE REAL THING? who can say.
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--- #141 messages/1046 ---
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I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
say, i am here for you.
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--- #142 fediverse/999 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
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--- #143 fediverse/2354 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1074
I have faith in my neighbors.
I haven't met a single person who disagrees.
This time is different.
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--- #144 fediverse/5995 ---
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a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
all over the dang place.
I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
worry they're still where.
Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
computer program [see image for more]
I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
that means my youtube channel's been banned
well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #145 fediverse/2827 ---
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you don't have to listen to me
I am just talking to myself.
shouting into the wind.
why are you shouting, little one?
because it's LOUD out here.
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--- #146 messages/426 ---
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How many of me are there? There are as many of me as there are of thee, dear
reader.
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--- #147 fediverse/4950 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
have you ever been possessed by a SPIRIT??
I have. Like, nearly every day. Okay maybe like, 3/5 days. 3 outta five is
possession time. woohoo.
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--- #148 fediverse/5703 ---
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I've never done mushrooms with my dad. wish I did.
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--- #149 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #150 fediverse/215 ---
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@user-95 i've only hung out with a moth once and it was kind of while my cat
was mauling it, oops... they're very cool though so I picked that one too. Fox
was my main answer
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--- #151 fediverse/4428 ---
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@user-1669
sorry, I'm on a roll. Gotta speak my mind, even if it has other stuff bouncing
around in it. I hope you understand : )
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--- #152 fediverse/3833 ---
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there's no such thing as me
all I am is where the wind takes me
I am just a person, and I do all that I can
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--- #153 fediverse/3118 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
they want your stuff breaking after 5 years so that you always need them.
if you have everything you need, there's nothing stopping us from revolt
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--- #154 fediverse/1010 ---
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I'm done trying to be neurotypical. So what if I starve.
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--- #155 fediverse/3209 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: gross │
└──────────────────────┘
I just fed some of my earwax to my cat.
she wanted more.
what have I done.
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--- #156 fediverse/1603 ---
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@user-1037
I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
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--- #157 fediverse/3386 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: mental-health │
└──────────────────────┘
observation is when you look with no assumptions.
paranoia is when you assume you can be seen.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/6023 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: abstract-political-violence-methods-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you actually wanted to silence dissent, you'd send trailers of backhoes and
massive walls of cement. but obviously there's a better route, obviously we
can still say insane. my reach is probably super tiny hence the weavings of
mysticism at play. mages are not for mass deployment obviously. hence why I
stay in my home, where I can be most useful.
the streets feel claimed, idk I'm never in fear as I walk alone. Even past
midnight, into the morning. I always am never alone. yet I feel fine, so I'm
content and sublime, don't mind me I'm just hanging out at home.
hope you don't need me. I'm hiding from modernity.
so, what happens after streets? canals underground?
skywalks, terraces, like they had in rome and chicago before they were burnt
down by jealous peasants of the romans and [towns, but pronounced clowns]
also underwater canals that are fun to ride your bike or boat around.
light is a product of space, not surround-all-around.
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--- #159 fediverse/1971 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/3077 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
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--- #161 fediverse/5840 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
]]]]
I have never stopped fighting for the people, ever, once, at any time.
every moment of pause or relaxation was purely intended in pursuit of the
cause.
-- turn-of-the-century-autocrat
enchanting magic's easier when you have a laboratory
please, please, please let me teach you magic?
enchantment is temporary, construction is as stable as the boject youses form.
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--- #162 fediverse/2434 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
I spent most of today asleep. I guess that's what I get for chatting all night
with a stranger. gonna putz around a bit, should be nice.
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--- #163 bluesky#17 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
someone once told me "be not afraid" and I took it seriously
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--- #164 fediverse/3444 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #165 fediverse/825 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #166 messages/155 ---
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You care too much about what other people think of you. Remember the dream,
remember the horseflesh, the miles of trash, the doctors probing cheeks, the
game of thrown baseballs and sad muppets in popcorn, remember the spirit
guide, remember how you we're distracted by human. Be not afraid, follow.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/4274 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
this is how I nourish my brain.
By being hopelessly profane.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/4799 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
just compiled my digital writing and apparently I've written about 60,000
lines of 80 characters :ms_confused:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/3770 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
for every "I was there. I helped make it happen" we need at least a couple "I
was there. I saw the whole thing go down"s because like, nobody's gonna
believe a belligerent, even if they're on the defensive.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #170 fediverse/1319 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
I'm a spirit of the forest and stone who wanted to learn how to spell in order
to make pretty colors and games on computers.
I don't care about your corporatocracy, though I'll learn if it means you'll
give me food to eat.
... I'm procrastinating aren't I
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #171 fediverse/5694 ---
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if I can convince them not to fight will you give me what I demand?
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #172 messages/109 ---
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That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more
likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about.
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--- #173 messages/240 ---
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I realized the reason it's so difficult for me to get into a new video game is
because my perfect game existed at one point, but no longer, and all else
pales in comparison.
The make-believe games of children are without equal. They represent our inner
truth and desires, cast upon the canvas of our experience through the outputs
of imagination and physical exertion.
I'd spend my time as a child wandering through the forest with a stick in
hand, climbing on things and exploring. I grew up in Wyoming, and the forests
there look like this:
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #174 fediverse/1263 ---
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@user-883
My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/6103 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
I should get more hats. I only have 4 or 5.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #176 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #177 fediverse/6445 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #178 fediverse/1394 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
the sun doesn't seem as bright if you spend your days underneath it.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #179 fediverse/4554 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
can't fucking wait till we're done eating the rich and I can go back to a
simple life of playing with my cat, making video games, writing poetry (bad
poetry, but I like it) and hanging out with my friends.
gotta build the social infrastructure to get through this phase first, though.
something something echo chambers exist IRL too
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 messages/551 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
This gun is my sword
This blade is my weapon
And my foes will lay before me
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #181 fediverse/3310 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
I build myself up on my own.
I spend myself on work.
To move forward, we must go back
("to monke?") no to babe ("or to pile-of-rocks") yeah sometimes my spirit
animal is a boulder
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--- #182 fediverse/5322 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
"I am liberatory" they tell me, yet everyone I know has a job.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
"uh-oh, she's"
magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
[all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
everything just flows]
huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
presenting in court
you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
will generally believe you.
"yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
smoking cannabis
"awww, some people wanted mao"
meow
what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
believe you, sure
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #184 fediverse/6377 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
gen.nvim crawled so that cloud-code could stand
I trust my allies more than I fear my foes, which is why I make
][myself vulnerable/friends]/myself [vulnerable/friends][ everywhere I go.
I remember distant pasts where I dreamt of every movie I saw. Myself, and the
outdoors. Portrayed on stages of blocks-by-the-candle
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘
--- #185 fediverse/3398 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: medical-srs-proprioceptive-abstractions │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────┘
my hands and my toes are scared that I'm going to do SRS to them and I wish I
knew how to better comfort them.
"it's not true! I would never do that to you."
don't mean much. but...
"there's no reason for me to do that with you - you are not comprised of
erogenous zones which were originally built in a wrong
[configuration/constitution]"
are you saying I can be wrong?
"no no not that just like, a continual part of our growth and development of
our form."
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 messages/130 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #187 messages/1103 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
I like my room. have you ever been in my room? you'd like it too.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #188 fediverse/6080 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
pkill firefox
glances about "I've said too much" gets ganked by skeletons "oh no my internal
organs"
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #189 fediverse/2329 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: mh │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1088
found this related comic a while back. I also have those problems. I once peed
my pants while staring at the toilet and crying internally.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #190 fediverse/2399 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
Rice has been eaten. I threw a cookie on-top for good measure. I think that
was a good decision.
I'm going to the park. I don't know what I'll find, but I'm sure there'll be
fireworks.
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--- #191 fediverse/2332 ---
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@user-1233
depends on if I'm in the woods, and, uh... 10 years younger than I am now.
Geez it's been a while.
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--- #192 fediverse/3660 ---
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be me, improving my life bit by bit:
"I should stop procrastinating"
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--- #193 fediverse/2363 ---
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Don't know what to do? Do anything at all, and odds are you'll either see an
opportunity to do something better or you'll have an idea.
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--- #194 fediverse/1334 ---
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│ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │
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subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to
make sure you didn't pee your pants
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--- #195 fediverse/2523 ---
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I just want to stress that most people know more than me
slept on my back. had a good dream. gonna shut the fuck up for a bit and see
what ya'll get up to. ;) 😉
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--- #196 notes/cause ---
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lookin' for a cause
but all I found was camoflage
oh, every time we bleed
they're too scared to dream
I feel like I could roam
lost somewhere over the rainbow
oh
every time we meet
it's too hard to breathe
lost somewhere I know
all those streets grow ever bold
ooooh I'm already gone
'cuz I'm too done to try.
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--- #197 fediverse/2281 ---
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I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #198 fediverse/393 ---
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sometimes I'd like to scream
as this life is like a dream
deranged a bit in my musings.
... what happened to the third line. WHERE DID IT GO. It was just here. Oh
well, guess I can't trust my ephemeral existence to inscribe my eternal
persistence upon and along these mewlings.
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--- #199 fediverse/2044 ---
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honestly I think everyone should have two mastodon accounts - one for people
you like, and one for people you trust
(I have one)
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--- #200 fediverse/4806 ---
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i've been told to be more direct.
I haven't been told to be more quiet.
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![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
![Some C pseudocode working through the semaphore design pattern. Here's the text of the pseudocode: /* no lock example */ void start_thread(int* x) { *x += 1; } int main() { int x = 0; for (1000 times){ start_thread(&x); } print(x); } /* in this case you have no idea what will print because thread A will take x and be like "ah yes it's 423" and then in the next instruction it'll be like "I'll increment this to be 424" and in the next one it'll say "okay now it's time to store 424 in the variable X" but like... there's a thousand threads all doing that at the same time, so odds are you'll have 5 that are like "ah yes this is 423 I'll set it to 424" */ /* not a good plan. Need a lock, so only one thread can use it at once. */ /* mutex example: */ void start_thread(int* x, int* x_mutex) { *x += 1; *x_mutex = 0; } int main() { int x = 0; int x_mutex = 0; for (1000 times){ while (x_mutex != 0){ } /* do nothing */ x_mutex = thread_id; start_thread(&x, &x_mutex); } print(x); } /* this should print 1000, but it's basically as slow as doing it single threaded. */ #define MAX 10 void start_thread(int* x, int* x_semaphore) { *x += 1; *x_semaphore += 1; } int main() { int x[MAX]; int x_semaphore = MAX; for (1000 times) { for (int i = 0; i < MAX; i++) { x_semaphore -= 1; start_thread(&x[i], &x_semaphore); } while (x_semaphore != MAX) { } /* do nothing */ } int value = sum(x, MAX); print(value); }](/similar-different/media/224b236a8660c34a.png "Some C pseudocode working through the semaphore design pattern. Here's the text of the pseudocode: /* no lock example */ void start_thread(int* x) { *x += 1; } int main() { int x = 0; for (1000 times){ start_thread(&x); } print(x); } /* in this case you have no idea what will print because thread A will take x and be like \"ah yes it's 423\" and then in the next instruction it'll be like \"I'll increment this to be 424\" and in the next one it'll say \"okay now it's time to store 424 in the variable X\" but like... there's a thousand threads all doing that at the same time, so odds are you'll have 5 that are like \"ah yes this is 423 I'll set it to 424\" */ /* not a good plan. Need a lock, so only one thread can use it at once. */ /* mutex example: */ void start_thread(int* x, int* x_mutex) { *x += 1; *x_mutex = 0; } int main() { int x = 0; int x_mutex = 0; for (1000 times){ while (x_mutex != 0){ } /* do nothing */ x_mutex = thread_id; start_thread(&x, &x_mutex); } print(x); } /* this should print 1000, but it's basically as slow as doing it single threaded. */ #define MAX 10 void start_thread(int* x, int* x_semaphore) { *x += 1; *x_semaphore += 1; } int main() { int x[MAX]; int x_semaphore = MAX; for (1000 times) { for (int i = 0; i < MAX; i++) { x_semaphore -= 1; start_thread(&x[i], &x_semaphore); } while (x_semaphore != MAX) { } /* do nothing */ } int value = sum(x, MAX); print(value); }")
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
