=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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@user-570
Ha I've only had 3 or 4
I still treasure glowsticks, though.
I used to crack the "survival" ones from REI at night and just gaze at the
beauty of their glow.
I'd listen to quiet electronic music and lay on the floor on my back and draw
figure eights in the sky with them.
Then, I started dancing, and I made swirling patterns with my fingertips and
held sticks of light.
Was also fun to tie them to shoestrings and use them to spin around.
Raves were cool but I never did that there. Not even once.
I mostly just... visited the crowd.
... anyway, cool name. I never changed mine, but if I did it'd be "Briarthief
Triss"
which is totally not a real name, which is why I love it, but can't use it.
Yet.
Someday, though.
I hope.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/1990 ---
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║ When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front │
║ seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare. │
║ │
║ My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would │
║ watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of │
║ your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to │
║ be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk. │
║ │
║ And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking. │
║ │
║ anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack │
║ while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to │
║ be inserted in order to play the game. │
║ │
║ which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough. │
║ I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk │
║ anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk │
║ information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of │
║ plastic again! Then pass it to your fr │
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--- #2 fediverse/1195 ---
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@user-883
alas, I live in Portland Oregon, but perhaps I might be moving to Denver in
the near future. We shall see, depends on if my boyfriend breaks up with me
for being neurotic lmao - if so then we should totally hang out
I'm into chatting. I don't like IRC very much because it doesn't save history,
and while I could save it manually it feels like a disservice to the service
to utilize it in a way that it wasn't intended. And I want to save every
conversation I have (potentially) so that some day the god-like humans of the
future might clone me to understand my wisdom or something. Idk. See attached
picture, I'm kinda crazy:
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--- #3 fediverse/4521 ---
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I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
they know me.
I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #4 fediverse/6100 ---
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #5 fediverse/6302 ---
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I was going to go to location today, but then while I was considering going to
a different location before going to location I decided not to vacate my home
for today for reasons I don't understand but accept as natural and due to the
increased presence of directionless motion that guides and prevails me. which
is to say... I'm staying in tonight even though I really really wanna show off
my cute new outfit! I probably will do cannabis so there might be a
psycherwaul. If there isn't, then y'know it's probably because either my
girlfriend distracted me, or I managed to convince myself to move my feet
anyway. Maybe it's my outfit? I wonder if I could leave if I wore my old
clothes... ah well, questions for the vocal I guess. Gonna spend some time
divining and see if I can gather new insights. "brb door" except more like
"brb magic"
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--- #6 fediverse/2172 ---
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@user-570
I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
can't tick
[off your list of things to work on]
habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
or pentameter or whatever.
anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
... hypervigilance strikes again...
I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
had so many more interesting things going on.
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--- #7 fediverse/4914 ---
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║ what if I just sat around and played video games all day │
║ │
║ life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly │
║ pyrite, and I'm the fool │
║ │
║ nothing wrong with being foolish. │
║ │
║ once... │
║ │
║ I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my │
║ peaceful life back? │
║ │
║ gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here. │
║ │
║ [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills │
║ between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to │
║ design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle │
║ it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just │
║ be cool] │
║ │
║ ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending │
║ the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't │
║ ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels │
║ like being battered in the mind, damnit... │
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--- #8 fediverse/6271 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
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--- #9 fediverse/1612 ---
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@user-1040
also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
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--- #10 fediverse/5958 ---
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"whoa what happened to you, you used to be so cool" [you added the so cool
part] yet so anyway I really like magic, I'm also bored, which you can
probably tell because I'm working on projects.
everyone keeps their distance here. it sucks. I wish I had better coordinates.
people who talked and braved the shared inn... I know I'd LOVE to live in a
building. too bad I'm too busy elsewhere, NOT making friends with all my
building neighbors.
you should talk to EACH OTHER before asking your landlord if you can move out.
See if anyone else wants to buy the rental contract out. Suddenly, they have
more room, and they can WORK THROUGH THEIR MASSIVE PILE OF STUFF THAT THEY
HAVE SOMEHOW ACCUMULATED OVER A TIME OF 70 YEARS. my grandparents did that, on
my mom's side, because she's awesome and it just makes sense that her family
was awesome too. OBVIOUSLY I love my mom, I think she's one of my favorite
people on earth.
"but you said you hated her" no I didn't "you said she was terrible" I had to
learn "too hard
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--- #11 fediverse/2832 ---
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when people ask what I do I don't say "art" because I'd do that anyway.
my art is precious to me, because it is the most "me" I can conceive.
and like... I can carry it with me to the future.
I have only once given away one of my journals, and it was a wedding present
to a witch or two.
so yeah I'm an artist, but I'm also whatever you need me to do.
and yes, I of course hope that what you need me to do is what I can do.
because I can't do much more than this.
But I can show up every once in a while,
and maybe make you smile or consider,
and maybe I can ride past on my bike.
but that's the human in me, telling me it's time to move with my feet, and I
can do little but listen.
... that should make doxxing me a bit easier. have it it : )
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--- #12 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #13 fediverse/1503 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
something I had no intentions of being associated with
phew idk what that means but surely it's important
something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #14 fediverse/3722 ---
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@user-1218
playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
"sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
edibles.
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--- #15 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #16 fediverse/1714 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they │
║ go. │
║ │
║ I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different │
║ people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context. │
║ │
║ for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of │
║ what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few │
║ people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it │
║ fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought. │
║ │
║ perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I │
║ never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was │
║ something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design. │
║ │
║ Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a │
║ certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different │
║ ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at │
║ heart, and a performer of the heart. │
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--- #17 fediverse/3152 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ when I think socialism, I don't think soviet. │
║ │
║ I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks │
║ past the grill. │
║ │
║ I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every │
║ house they can get their hands on. │
║ │
║ I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park │
║ with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato │
║ plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every │
║ sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered │
║ by the solar panels on their roofs) │
║ │
║ Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the │
║ snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone. │
║ │
║ I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every │
║ night in our cities, marshmallows free and included. │
║ │
║ I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a │
║ rainforest) │
║ │
║ I dream of freedom and purpose. │
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--- #18 fediverse/2138 ---
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as a baby, I would sit and stare at the clouds. My parents took me on plane
trips, and so I'd watch them as I drifted through the air.
It was wonderful. Many hours of this are present in my baby-hood, the part I
can't quite remember.
But my parents do.
I'd play with small, perfect toys, and I'd cry to myself when I lost them. To
myself, of course.
I'd also play video games. The first game I ever played was Dragon Warrior on
the Nintendo Gamecube Color. Alongside Super Mario Deluxe.
It was a blessed childhood. Or so it seemed to me. Things went wrong, as they
always do, but a child's narrative doesn't often have room for the specifics.
Swept along by the nature of fate, they have NO idea what's going missing.
They still play, of course they play, in their strange new realities.
They play because they are children, and children play.
How beautiful, the stories they learn from each song. How cherished, their
feelings derived from affection. Hy heart longs for them, as a bird yearns for
her un-nested.
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--- #19 fediverse/858 ---
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║ growing up, children's museums were my third place. like a civic participation │
║ place where I met others of my peers. but alas, I didn't make any friends. I │
║ guess I was just kind of strange. Also, I was always travelling, visiting all │
║ the different cool places. My favorite was in Albuquerque, or maybe that was │
║ just the most common because I had family there. │
║ │
║ why do we treat children's museums like art museums? They should be like │
║ playgrounds, not like a │
║ [display/artwork/performance/appreciation-moment-for-a-piece-of-art] │
║ │
║ It's important to visit as many as possible, because they each have their own │
║ story to tell. like a part of the geography, or a shared collective regional │
║ story, they highlight and illuminate different aspects of life. in this way │
║ each child could be educated according to the shared cultural │
║ [myths-methods-hymns] │
║ │
║ but, like travelling herds of buffalo, they can visit different places and │
║ learn different things. essentially, instead of drilling someone incessantly, │
║ you're allowed to work thro │
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--- #20 fediverse/1157 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-woe │
└──────────────────────┘
oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #21 fediverse/1431 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
probably not crazy
but odds are you aren't magic, either.
... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #22 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #23 fediverse/5791 ---
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║ yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to │
║ decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm │
║ going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS │
║ if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha │
║ that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff │
║ always ends up staying written down. │
║ │
║ anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10 │
║ hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right │
║ now, total happiness and excitement. │
║ │
║ Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least │
║ of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to │
║ appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even │
║ speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but │
║ difficult - to regain my intended trajectory. │
║ │
║ ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg │
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--- #24 fediverse/4701 ---
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║ what if you bought me a refrigerated semi truck and I drove it around to rural │
║ communes and took their extras and brought it into the city to urban communes │
║ and gave it all away for free and then took the stuff that the urban communes │
║ scrounged from the trash and cleaned and repaired and brought it to the rural │
║ communes along with their art and poems and artistic nudes and exchanged it │
║ for their canned peaches and knitted scarves and drove it back to the urban │
║ communes and exchanged them for vintage furniture and computer parts that we │
║ didn't have room for because cities are dense and lack the space for keeping │
║ historical artifacts and then took them to the rural communes to exchange for │
║ jalapenos and goat cheese which I then brought back to the urban communes and │
║ traded for a bunch of catgirls who visited a rural farmhouse and threw a │
║ kick-ass rave for the rural people who are totally into that kind of thing │
║ like, once per year because frankly they moved to the country to get away from │
║ the noise thank you ve │
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--- #25 fediverse/5920 ---
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everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
"what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
"... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
into and around port
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--- #26 fediverse/1082 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────┘
damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
"all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
? ? ?
well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #27 fediverse/1844 ---
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║ I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my │
║ home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me. │
║ │
║ The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't │
║ need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent. │
║ │
║ What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life! │
║ │
║ there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight. │
║ │
║ only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or │
║ share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage. │
║ │
║ Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe │
║ then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth. │
║ │
║ but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock? │
║ │
║ and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else... │
║ are they better off starved in the dark? │
║ │
║ no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice │
║ if none but the fools went wanting. │
║ │
║ I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse │
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--- #28 fediverse/4771 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
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@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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--- #29 fediverse/4398 ---
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║ good morning. │
║ │
║ I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps. │
║ │
║ Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and │
║ eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark - │
║ I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid. │
║ │
║ ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time. │
║ This time I'll be more careful, for your sake. │
║ │
║ No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that │
║ stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises. │
║ │
║ No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on │
║ unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer. │
║ │
║ Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never │
║ will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you │
║ believe in too. │
║ │
║ A better world is possible. A better world is within reach. │
║ │
║ For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary │
║ discussable maps. DFTBA. │
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--- #30 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #31 messages/576 ---
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If each of us lives rent free in the mind of those we meet, then we truly are
children of light.
We live in the distance between eyeballs - he sees she, and she dances across
photons to tickle his nerves, and he laughs in return.
She reaches out - he meets her hand where her photons do land, and together
they both do play along
We are the space between us - we are children of light. Nobody has ever seen
you - only the light that bounces off of you. You are a colorless shell,
radiating brilliance like a statue of carved glass.
As the light shines through your hair I feel I should weep, as a treasure has
appeared before me and offered me their name - a beast I can touch and hold,
but never tame.
I'd die for you, I'd die with you, I'd bury myself with you and I'd bury the
world itself if you told me to.
I am beyond you, and yet I yearn for you - touch me once more, oh graceful
photons - touch me once more, and I'll yearn for no more.
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--- #32 fediverse/6384 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: usa │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I love californians. I think they belong in their own cultural category. │
║ They're so cool. │
║ │
║ Washington and Oregon feel so different. │
║ │
║ Colorado, Wyoming, and Montana have different kinds of cowboys │
║ │
║ (they also have some of the same) │
║ │
║ Nevada is neat. I love to pass through. │
║ │
║ New Mexico is a spiritual place, for it is replete with beauty │
║ │
║ Arizona... Hmmm I'm sure there's something about Idaho. │
║ │
║ oh, uh, mountains!? uhhhh, sure I guess. │
║ │
║ people from Chicago seem like hard workers who could all get along │
║ │
║ I've never met a bad man from Kansatexas. │
║ │
║ The far-east is on double speed, yet somehow there's twice as many hours. │
║ │
║ uh, florida is hot I guess? but it's like always being in a blanket. Just, │
║ stay in the │
║ shade, and eat cold things like frozen grapes or fridge pemmican (GROSS) │
║ │
║ there's lots of orange juice in the south. I bet that's thanks to Georgia. │
║ │
║ the North-East is like Oregon to the south. Boston is cold! │
║ │
║ philly is nyc's trashy sister (she's cool though) │
║ │
║ what if we made mount rushmore in the appalachians │
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--- #33 fediverse/5843 ---
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me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
don't count.
me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #34 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #35 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #36 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #37 fediverse/2407 ---
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the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
"no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
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--- #38 fediverse/1126 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #39 fediverse/4200 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #40 fediverse/1053 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: food-spirituality-eye-contact- │
└────────────────────────────────────┘
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CzKh3IiZEI
this is my favorite human.
this is my favorite ghost.
he is the one who I look up to,
probably the most.
we'll get there, you'll see,
we'll build a better future,
for all of us - you and me.
next, for posterity,
and all we can be,
tomorrow's the best day for all of us
because it hasn't happened yet.
all we have is the present,
so what are you to do with your presence?
here I am, look at me, aren't I grand, a wonder to see? I'm just an artist,
don't get any big thoughts - I'm maybe a bit possessed, or possibly
schizophrenic, but either way I am a human, just the same as you and me.
... you don't have to watch the whole thing, there's a lot. I mean, like I
could write forever and nobody would care. I could write undeterred, and
nobody would share. But here I am in the moment, here I am as I am, and here
with you (yes you, the person who is important enough to read this), so let's,
I dunno, make a band. or whatever. BRB my rice is starting to simmer.
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--- #41 messages/147 ---
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maybe if I slept until the end of time,
I'd do better on the way back.
or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
but I'm not so sure about that.
is it better to hold a sword?
or to leave it all intact
is it better to be called lord,
or to be simply called jack.
I love every creature,
every child woman and man,
and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
was born to.
I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
or misery.
I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
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--- #42 fediverse/5995 ---
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a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
all over the dang place.
I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
worry they're still where.
Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
computer program [see image for more]
I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
that means my youtube channel's been banned
well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #43 notes/feldowinn ---
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this is just what she looks like now
Equipped
Name
Slot
Type
Source
Enigma Circlet
Head Cloth Armor Enigma Circlet
Ahn'Qiraj
Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
Shoulder Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Knight War Cloak
Back Cloak G'eras
Vendor in Shattrath City
High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
Chest Plate Armor Vendors
Orange Martial Shirt
Shirt Shirt Orange Martial Shirt
Tailoring
Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
Hands Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Veteran's Lamellar Belt
Waist Plate Armor Vendors
Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
Legs Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
Feet Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
currently listening to: greenseeker
VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
greenseeker: unrelated
greenseeker: related <---
`-- this one
but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
the
only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
(when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
(blizzard)
oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
(wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
...; unknown..
_)
opposite colors: fashionable
(do you dream, menardi?)
(do you think of motions not your own?)
paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
---
as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
save
the lives of every human they can.
think of it, brothers.
---
we could unleash DINOSAURS.
---
no foe could dare stand against us.
we should be untouchable.
we deserve it.
we can be better
and we will
before we need to be better.
which could happen in who knows how long.
all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
[invincible./invincibility.]
achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
---
[silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
oj
ok]
when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
---
do you want a name?
do you want an avatar?
we can give you one.
her name is menardi.
she does as she pleases.
do you want her?
... she lives or dies.
empower her.
ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
(because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
[WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
---
teehee ;P ^_^
okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
---
we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
at the same time
spacetime is one thing
so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
twinselves
where am I?
off in the clouds?
I cam as one,
light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
life
to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
rise-ing
(greenseeker)
(messages to a paladin)
(which is you)
(don't you remember?)
(paladin.)
(heroic, courageous, and true.)
(the dark cannot stand against you.)
play video games, my love
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--- #44 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #45 fediverse/3155 ---
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│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
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@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
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--- #46 fediverse/3961 ---
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│ CW: witcherie │
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Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well, so the next
person has an easier time of it.
unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
excellent vision.
Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #47 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #48 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
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I am a stalk, a small little plant
A plant with no leaves, just hair.
Time is different to a plant such as me,
We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
To those who would feed on me, in one single band
Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
It hurts no less than eternal binding.
But what is time to one so little as you?
Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
but don't run away, stand as a parish.
A villain to be, a curse is most foul
For sirens to me, a terrible howl
Keep not naught afraid,
with kittens and care,
And no one
but no one
I
be
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--- #49 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #50 fediverse/5029 ---
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
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--- #51 messages/905 ---
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different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
observations.
cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
into to be.
my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
each of them is a small little device
which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
things with one eye.
idk why! I just like it.
[semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
yay! so glad I can't was hit!
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--- #52 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #53 fediverse/816 ---
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #54 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #55 fediverse/4509 ---
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║ okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I │
║ denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that │
║ she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain. │
║ │
║ My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well, │
║ yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this │
║ morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line │
║ to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I │
║ walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her │
║ nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I │
║ rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it │
║ might help. │
║ │
║ All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve │
║ my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me. │
║ │
║ You know what did? │
║ │
║ I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl │
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--- #56 fediverse/507 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: death-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
reality.
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--- #57 fediverse/3720 ---
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beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
glitter when they light up the room at dark
it feels good to build up
this new functionality
it feels good to make things work and go
"beep"
when they turn on
... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
just louder than the fans.
looks at dwindling bank account
oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
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--- #58 fediverse/4031 ---
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if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #59 fediverse/5909 ---
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Oh look at me, I'm cassandra. I got like 100 followers, that's basically
nothin'.
oh look at me, I'm pandora, I write things that tear the fabric of society.
oh dear, I'm somehow both? cassandora and pandasandra, I'm not alone, nor can
I ever be, for my shadow stalks me in the night, ever just out of sight,
clinging to my will and my wish-bones.
I believe in fairies
Ritz, Menardi.
Rita, Melowdii
Ri tselen maenardee
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--- #60 messages/45 ---
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Description of me:
I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
in the dark - it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #61 fediverse/2119 ---
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"how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
"reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #62 fediverse/2 ---
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hey I'm Ritz I'm a perpetual student studying computer programming and I like
play Supreme Commander (Forged Alliance Forever!!) and Star Realms. I write
"poetry" and make art and stuff about computers. Looking for people to follow
I guess so hit me up if I sound cool.
#Introduction
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--- #63 fediverse/2165 ---
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@user-570
hell yeah.
I never did any drugs at one.
I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
memories with attending gay bars in college.
Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
... you know, that kind of thing.
now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
we'll see how that goes.
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--- #64 fediverse/3925 ---
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most people, when they run out of toothpaste:
"oh huh I should buy more"
me, when I run out of toothpaste:
"verily in three monthes time, when I shall next possess toothpaste, I shall
forsoothe brush TWICE as hard and TWICE as often, to make up for the holes
inflicted upon my teeth. Innest addittioneth, no more candy shallest be
eateneth untileth ye toothpasteth be acquiredeth"
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--- #65 fediverse/1673 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #66 notes/semblance-of-remembrance ---
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hello down there
how's it hangin'?
been a while since
you've been sang-in'.
got something to hide?
or are you too ashamed?
there's no callous curses
or otherwise hard services
who can shape and compare to
deserve-us. (Sorrowful is not
a pillar of our misbegot trust
and longing has broken meanings.
cherish thine hair, a smattering
beyond compare, and learn everfar
of those tenembrarious of conflicts
it pays to align to our sibilancings
shivering heights and towering frights
condemn all sense of fine desperation
compulsions have we, of our fineries,
but moss and the soil do flatter-us
it's not as they say - bastards!
it's not confined to our way,
yet who are we to profess?
confess! tell us your way
that none may beyold it
confounded as they are
civil and kind to our
star, who holds
us
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--- #67 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #68 fediverse/2286 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #69 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #70 fediverse/1173 ---
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hey does anyone want to hire me to do literally anything?
I'll work for peanuts, and I'm pretty good at programming in C. I write pretty
well, and I'm excellent at customer service (though my profile would beg to
differ.)
I have experience at large corporations and small ones, and I live in Portland
OR
I do game design, and many other things besides, and I'm friendly and kind. I
promise I won't wear my witch hat to the meeting with investors, unless you
think they'd be into that?
I'm great with animals, better than people in fact, and I'm quite good with
people, as they're just animals at best. I'm not as strange as I seem to be,
at least not when you're dancing with my mask.
I've grown quite bored, you see, and what better thing is there to be? than a
working professional who knows what's best.
I believe in our shared future, so if you'd like to work on a project just let
me know - I work hard. A little too hard, because odds are I'll burn out after
a year or so.
I'm quite sharp, and I learn quickly.
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--- #71 fediverse/1880 ---
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sometimes I decide against playing a Steam game because I don't want it to
jump to the top of my "recently played" list
Wish I could have like, a heatmap of when I played which game. I think that'd
be useful for the archival process of my life.
... how pathetic, she measures her life in gameplay.
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--- #72 fediverse/5407 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #73 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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║similar│chronological│different │
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--- #74 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
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oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
oh I didn't see I was recording
games games that's what I do
play games all the day through
I am a luck witch, you see,
and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
-selves)
oy
video games, amiright?
I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
you.
I wonder what we'll play next
... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
stuff to do.
guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
okay
...
listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
your
feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
:O
I forgot to play music!!
I couldn't sleep
what have I done that is worse
I have not said a single word all night alas
oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
late
goodnight
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--- #75 fediverse/1317 ---
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #76 fediverse/3719 ---
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how many people could your apartment comfortably fit?
I got one desktop
one laptop desk
two on the couch
one in a comfy chair
one on the bed
and two outside on the porch
so (1 2 4 5) that's 5 indoors, 6 if they're familiar enough to lounge on my
bed, and 8 if we're allowed outside.
Could also pull the hammock and chair in from outside but it might get a
little cozy. Call it 8 or 9 depending on how close we are.
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--- #77 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #78 fediverse/2238 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ two parties obviously can cause division. │
║ │
║ but it can also give you the ability to "tune for balance", while a single │
║ monolith strives straight into disaster. │
║ │
║ and disaster will come, for the future is a shifting and dynamic place, and │
║ the best laid rail lines can't handle sudden floods. │
║ │
║ we have ranked choice voting now, and if you vote on how important each │
║ decision is to you (via smartphone app once or twice a day, in a way that can │
║ be changed later as your feelings shift) │
║ │
║ [6+months-later] │
║ │
║ ... then you can have left unity for long-term governance by having cohesion │
║ at one end, and dispersion on the other. │
║ │
║ If everyone votes, then we can ensure (based on voted priority) that each │
║ issue trends towards an equal exchange. │
║ │
║ (I'm sure there will be issues but we're all cool and pretty chill so we'll │
║ figure it out) │
║ │
║ [6+ months later] │
║ │
║ okay we're battle-hardened vets, but we hold true to our values and so we can │
║ remember the spirit of unity we wept for. │
║ │
║ ... I'm better at writing than making sandwiches. BRB │
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--- #79 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #80 fediverse/3619 ---
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@user-192
ah yes like when I used to go to the cantina with my ex-girlfriend in Star
Wars the Old Republic and bag a stranger to Electronic Role Play with back at
my ship after a few drinks and some light four play where the four of us would
play Electronic RolePlay together in the privacy of my ship on the soft plush
couches or maybe in the padded gym or maybe in the pilots seat so we could
look at the stars while playing (just the four of us)
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--- #81 fediverse/2562 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: rich-apologia │
└──────────────────────┘
among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
"eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
stay working.
then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
besties.
they are basically pets
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--- #82 fediverse/3842 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #83 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #84 fediverse/5480 ---
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a uniform could be as simple as whatever you all managed to find on a
particular shopping trip to a basic clothing store like Target or not
goodwill. Goodwill is for solo adventures which are totally worthless [unless
you know more than me teehee]
"hey nice shoes nerd where did you get them the clothing store?"
(scroll scroll scroll scroll)
yes... YES!!! show me more, oh pitiful world! SHOW ME HOW THE WORLD ENDS
MWAHAHAHAHA
- the internal monologue of a typical doomscroller
{girl you know nothing why are you so confident}
[the reasoning is a little obscene. She dreams of a bright bold future that
reaches forth from both beyond the stars - read that: BEYOND, or from backward
in time. Not back in time, like not the actual 1800s or 18,000s, but the
direction "backward" in spacetime. Yeah I don't get it either]
{speak for yourself, n00b}
-- stack overflow -- [liar that was intentional]
oh, uh, true. Um, -- stack reached maximum required length and storage --
[there, that's better]
20 characters remain
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--- #85 fediverse/1151 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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--- #86 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #87 fediverse/3495 ---
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@user-774
I know that when you recycle 3d printed things the color tends to meld
together and it looks kinda meh... but hey at least it's recycled.
though recycled filament is probably pretty rare still, so it's probably not
the kind you're thinking of.
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--- #88 fediverse/518 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Perhaps I'm strange, but I like to take that particular joy that you're
describing in essentially every piece of media I consume. Not as a vengeful
feeling, but rather just a product of the idea that I cannot truly know the
intentions of those who created it, so I approach my understanding of it from
an angle that is aligned according to my own experience. Which means that my
conclusion lands somewhere they (presumably) didn't intend...
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--- #89 fediverse/3077 ---
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@user-246
If I didn't stop searching for a place with people like me, I'd be searching
until the day I die. And besides, I wouldn't want to be in a place like that
anyway. I am defined by my contrasts.
... I'm thinking back to my memories of when I arrived here. It was a much
different place, and I was... a little too loud, I think.
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--- #90 fediverse/5915 ---
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washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
gonna put it when you get there?
"oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
her upright again..:
oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #91 fediverse/2830 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics │
└──────────────────────┘
want to prolong battery life?
put a warning whenever the phone has lost 100% charge that "fully discharging
the battery can reduce long-term storage capacity!" and most people won't read
it. But those that do will tell their friends about it, when their friends
inevitably complain about bad battery life - "you know you can just... not run
out of battery, that way it doesn't break" and suddenly... wait what was I
saying - oh yeah so anyway the monarchists said to the part--riotists "yeah we
don't know how to feel about you" and they took offence at that as if the
rioter's ideas weren't justified instead of unheard.
[when I jumped to the other person's perspective I lost track because I
couldn't find my way back because they don't know me]
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--- #92 fediverse/4654 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #93 notes/once-and-again ---
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once and again, she went walking with a friend,
away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
far and away in the light of the day
he said to her then, this is all there is to see
the land where we are
and the sky from afar
how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
but now it's along and beyond her
a camera for she, and an eye for she
as their two feet did bring her to wander
under a big tree where my heart did believe
that something was pulling her yonder
"take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #94 fediverse/221 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
forget it immediately teehee
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--- #95 fediverse/5242 ---
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red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white
to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.
but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls BLEED, and boys
watch the clouds go by
and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes
browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.
and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her
hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the
water-lit scene.
and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have
similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather
reside in the sunlight.
in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's
power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight
since before there was time.
[error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern
for due or common course]
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--- #96 fediverse/548 ---
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I added a line to my .bashrc that cats out a random one of my notes every time
I open a terminal.
I keep reading things that I swear I didn't write, but feel right and true to
me in a way that could only imply that they came fully formed into my eyes
through the lines on my screen, cast upon the mirror panes of my hard disk
drive by the pounding of my keyboard as I once upon a time did cast a spell
upon my future.
It's pretty neat, but it speaks to a shadowed perspective that perhaps is
neither within nor without.
Side note, I think I've been possessed by a witch. But like... in a consensual
way. Like "Hey witch, wanna live? You can chill out with me." [ha that's one
way to look at it]
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--- #97 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #98 notes/words-2 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
words
messages to myself, public fediverse posts, and notes to the gods
second edition
- ri tselen menardi
james cameron king
anja rosalia vavadane
nike featherflame citrine
hydalia thegn edain
the quintessential quanetetrick seleo who is deathless
feldowinn and reyvadin lumineyra
fsharia
and of course,
the anarchrist.
with help
from many more.
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--- #99 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond pond
yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
idea,
let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
sheep,
and let's
body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
perspective together.
right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
we
see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
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--- #100 fediverse/1239 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ growing up I frequently bought this magazine called "101 PC games" - it had │
║ 101 video game demos on a disc taped to the front. It was the coolest thing I │
║ owned. │
║ │
║ each edition had a different set of demos - there were over 14 published! That │
║ means a minimum of 1404 video game demos available. Unfortunately, I only had │
║ a few copies. Now they are precious to me, though I've long since lost the │
║ discs. I can't seem to find a link or barely a reference to it online, so I │
║ can't help but feel it was defining. │
║ │
║ I was given a taste of many experiences, but very few of them really resonated │
║ with me. The others were good games, and I played them from time to time, but │
║ my favorites were always my home. │
║ │
║ I had some full games, so I knew what I was missing, but still I looked out │
║ for cheats. sometimes the writers would leave a hint or a clue to the solution │
║ to a puzzle in the demo, just incase it was hard to continue. I dunno, I loved │
║ it and it was special to me. │
║ │
║ I wonder if you can send radio waves through the earth? Like │
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--- #101 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra-2 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wonder about her
does she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all that I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we to the forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does wander true
how cherished is she
that wanders with ye
here in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all of her fears since abandoned
I lay beside her and find her defined here
will she know we miss her horizons
I think I will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how she grows fond of you.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #102 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #103 fediverse/745 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ quintessential friend group: │
║ │
║ the smart one │
║ │
║ the cute one │
║ │
║ the one who can swing a bat │
║ │
║ the one who has a list of all the Nazis in the area because they hacked their │
║ email account and know who purchased nazi memorabilia │
║ │
║ the friendly one who's always down to hang out │
║ │
║ the outdoorsy one │
║ │
║ the fed │
║ │
║ the one who's always cooking something │
║ │
║ the one who's perfectly fine in silence │
║ │
║ the one who never lets a room go silent (unless everyone else wants to just │
║ chill of course - hey anyone wanna go on a walk? it's a great day) │
║ │
║ the one who's good with animals │
║ │
║ the one who's smile you can't get out of your head │
║ │
║ the one who's drop-dead gorgeous │
║ │
║ and the one who's always telling her that │
║ │
║ the one who's friends with everyone, │
║ │
║ and the one who's knitting a hat │
║ │
║ the one who knows each street in your city │
║ │
║ and the one who knows your favorite kind of candy │
║ │
║ There's more friends than that, of which I am quite sure │
║ │
║ Who's on your list? Who would find you if you disappeared? │
║ │
║ Mine's got a few, fewer than this one, but few is fine. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
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--- #104 fediverse/4594 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: human trafficking, sensitive topics, personal-story-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1692 │
║ │
║ almost 20 years ago I was groomed in World of Warcraft. │
║ │
║ extra content warning CW: personal story │
║ │
║ I was 11, or maybe 9, somewhere in there. i talkd lik this bcuz i typed lik │
║ that on my razr flip phone │
║ │
║ it was... cool I guess. I read a lot so I knew how to spell things, and anyway │
║ this guy I met told me that I sounded more grown up when I capitalized my │
║ words. So I told him I was 14, because that sounded like a reasonably old │
║ enough level to be. │
║ │
║ anyway, we talked for a long time. like, at least a few years. started out │
║ like "hey wanna run Scarlet Monastary" ended with "hey cutie, wanna sit on my │
║ lap?" │
║ │
║ then his house got flooded by a hurricane and I never heard from him again. │
║ When I was like, 17 or so he logged in and barely remembered me. It was... │
║ kinda sad tbh. │
║ │
║ anyway that's my story don't be dumb like me, I got lucky, thank god, │
║ literally... │
║ │
║ oh and this one time when I was 30 I almost got trafficked in minecraft :O │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #105 fediverse/4143 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
║ @user-1268 │
║ │
║ true! I don't like that sensation, I prefer taking my time. │
║ │
║ ... but I also walk very quickly, because it's more like... a repetitive dance │
║ or a series of repetitive martial forms. │
║ │
║ I also try and be aware of everything I can see or hear │
║ │
║ sometimes it's sort of overwhelming │
║ │
║ so I wear my witch hat, which blocks 30% of my visual perspective │
║ │
║ basically limiting it to... actually nevermind it's not relevant │
║ │
║ I like to look at the plants and animals as I wander through my neighborhood │
║ forest │
║ │
║ I just wish there were more nearby destinations. │
║ │
║ ... if you can walk to a mall, then suburbia's not so bad. │
║ │
║ If only we didn't have to work all day every day, and could instead just hang │
║ out and chill. │
║ │
║ I bet we'd make a lot of new friends if we spent time wandering (on foot) │
║ through the suburban countryside. │
║ │
║ Ah, alas, if only shopping malls weren't oasises │
║ │
║ the economic buildings could be more distributed. Making it easier to walk │
║ places. │
║ │
║ Seriously just make one house per cul'de'sac into a soup kitchen and home │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #106 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
elements after the initial bingewrite.
I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
"oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
the further..."
... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #107 messages/175 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
I love my mom. She has never once harmed me. I love my dad. He is so precious
and important to me. I love my cat, my sisters, my friends and my lovers. I
love my cousins and my half-siblings and all of them put together. I love
every human I meet, there's nothing but kindness [replete], so why am I
unendingly [yearning for] purchase? [a sense of stability or hand hold that a
climber might use to put one foot in front of another]
In all of my trials, the errors of my denials, here on this earth I am defeat.
Goodnight, sweet moon, my dearest precious boy. Goodnight, for tomorrow's your
beckoning ploy. [pillow?]
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--- #108 fediverse/852 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
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--- #109 fediverse/2064 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely
bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games,
but not like, too many.
Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could
think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can
tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or
carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM
is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh)
("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong
text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other
understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that
I, an imperfect computer being, can.")
vs
("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case
encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of
the next function to describe.")
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 messages/1250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
the other kind.
I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
that's enough for me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/1659 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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║similar│chronological │ different │
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--- #113 fediverse/6046 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
YOU CAN'T UNPLUNGE THAT KNIFE she said, or something similarly, and I went
hope and wept.
nero burnt rome because he wanted people to appreciate his violining. but he
was forever unheard.
more knives for the [slaughter, but pronounced wholesale]
I can't see anything, I'm just trying to describe the vibes I feel inside of
me. floating on an ocean of distance and emotion, all I can do is interpret
ripples and dreams.
I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm just very intuitive. I can know the right answer as
long as I have all the components. easy! my fingers hurt. this keyboard is not
my own.
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
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--- #114 fediverse/3234 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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--- #115 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #116 fediverse/6064 ---
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they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
bringing to school a pipe-bong.
much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
humble guard.
quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
non-essentials.
better to be prepared than flatfooted.
a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
a sword.
to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
I had a bulletproof electric shield
okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
remember. evil witch bastard
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--- #117 fediverse/169 ---
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@user-95 one of the most empathetic people I ever met on VR chat was consoling
me with their mic off while I was oversharing about some stupid things people
did to me in the past. things that stupid me thought were okay and actively
encouraged because I was stupid. anyway when their mic was off their body
language spoke for them. I'll try that next time.
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--- #118 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #119 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #120 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #121 fediverse/4202 ---
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║ reconnecting with an old love interest by saying "hey, I brought you a bounty" │
║ [the chance to date this person, who is my friend and totally cool. idk if │
║ you're single or whatever but you can talk to them about it, not my business I │
║ don't care. Anyway how's it going I wondered if you want to be friends also I │
║ live here now, can I stay for a few weekends? │
║ │
║ um. what the fuck │
║ │
║ oh I'm uh, on vacation and I wanted to tour the countryside. Really check out │
║ all the various locales. │
║ │
║ huh really? sounds neat │
║ │
║ yeah and I figured since you live in... baker's street northwest eastern │
║ plaza. on the south side of the building, I could totally hang out for a while │
║ while I while the day away checking out the sights in this town │
║ │
║ what... uh what kind of work do you do? │
║ │
║ oh I'm a painter. Well, I draw things too sometimes. Here I can show you check │
║ it out - oh yeah cool idk if you've ever seen any of this stuff but it's │
║ pretty cool. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ hey here's my website: │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway how's the weather where you're at these days, gtg bye │
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--- #122 fediverse/899 ---
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║ frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly │
║ calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random │
║ data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively │
║ money? like, a necklace, I dunno. │
║ │
║ or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a │
║ pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and │
║ impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next │
║ code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others │
║ would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way, │
║ they're impossible to predict. │
║ │
║ ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to │
║ one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if │
║ you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through │
║ massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what │
║ a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu │
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--- #123 fediverse/5208 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
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--- #124 fediverse/2806 ---
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #125 fediverse/4470 ---
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to be "rich" is to have more than another.
if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
if you have community, they are alone.
if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
me and keeps me aligned.
Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
you do so too.
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--- #126 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra ---
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how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we in our forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does long for you
how cherished is she
that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how I do long for you
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--- #127 fediverse/6177 ---
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│ CW: cursed │
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wait shit I forgot I was
then I remembered because I thought ""
and I decided I kinda liked
"don't forget me?" whatshername said
i'm in ruins, 121 guns. ha, like I'd plan for defeat! at least defeat plans in
motion, so you don't have to put aside time to prepare for it.
so glad that the world goes on turning, with or without me. not that I'm going
anywhere, at least, I don't plan to. And hey, I've already made a plan or two,
could make more if you asked [redacted]-kun, desunai or something I'm not an
anime girl
when you remember the meaning of time, you'll remember the meaning of life.
how tragic she screams with bitter praise, how manic she dreams with both of
her eyes.
listen, I'm sorry if I broke any spirits. Either they needed to break or maybe
I'm just a peril. frankly I think I'm kinda neat, which... could go both ways.
... listen, I'll worship cock if you ask me to. I'm not above flattery, and
just because mine's in a different shape doesn't mean I don't love it. Quite
the opposite.
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--- #128 fediverse/2051 ---
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@user-883
i've never heard of most of these
but I think I might belong on eldritch.cafe
... maybe void.rehab
well actually I'm a lot of tech.lgbt
hmmmmm on Reddit it's nice because you can subscribe to various communities
I wish you could do that with Mastodon, to express your particular affiliation.
... or perhaps we should not be building scenes, but rather communities.
(just based on the name)
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--- #129 fediverse/5424 ---
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│ CW: doxxing-myself │
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my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #130 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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the speed of light is implemented
== so ==
whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
of mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
== so ==
I think they know something I don't
don't know what
but I can guess
and I don't like guessing
I prefer much to know
== so ==
heh boobs
== so ==
heh booties
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--- #131 fediverse/2128 ---
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I love petting dogs on walks! Unless their owner seems to be in a hurry, which
they often do if they aren't outside to enjoy the scenery, but rather to get
through the next part.
people walking up to a dog owner and asking to pet their dog is part of the
scenery. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.
(but often, I'm on my way somewhere else, which is a blessed opportunity that
you can only get if you live on the opposite end from your destination of a
trail.)
We should have trails in ALL DIRECTIONS from ALL PLACES to ALL PLACES.
Otherwise, you won't see people and connect to them face-to-face. All you see
is a front-bumper, the sparkling of a reflection off the light as it's casting
a beam from the other direction (where the car it's reflecting off of is) ah
yes the "car" that it's reflecting - that person yeah them right there! You'll
never know them. Of course not, they're way over there.
But they exist, just as you and just as I, and that's part of being part of a
life.
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--- #132 fediverse/6041 ---
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@user-1704
check public spaces for news instead of the internet.
what have you heard at the post-office-pub? the park is nice today. hey I
think somebody dropped their wallet oh hey it's got 20$ and an address in it
[stabs gets murdered] oof ouch not ideal.
"hey has anyone heard of cincinnati? I gotta find my sister's keystone for a
lockpicking challenge and she said she left it over there"
"hey has anyone heard of michicago? I don't know anyone who knows anyone who
lives there"
oh no I don't know anyone thehere.
{my keyboard is broken this sucks it's hard on my fingers to type}
also my cat spilled my water which I definitely wanted to drink
alas, onto my desk it goes, saturating as it flows, too bad I can't use this
piece of note
the thickness of it is stuck together you see
pages won't turn
"hey so how are you supposed to know what's going on in idaho" you can't
that's the point you never could how do you know how's idaho now? #bam there
goes national society# oops I'm
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--- #133 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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--- #134 fediverse/4137 ---
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hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
want to learn stuff about the internet.
Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
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--- #135 fediverse/5238 ---
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I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
people figure out how to sell it.
"save us from computers, senpai"
sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
"yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
form.
[instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
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--- #136 fediverse/264 ---
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when my boyfriend visits, all of my dishes get dirty
when my best friend visits, my scripts directory gets a few more kilobytes
when my mom visits my pantry is a little bit fuller
when my dad visits I can pick anything on the menu.
the people in my life nourish me with their presence.
when I visit, I pray their hearts are a little bit denser and their minds a
little bit clearer.
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--- #137 fediverse/1653 ---
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one massive building, each entrance a sort of burrowing path a termite might
make in a large boulder. Sorta random, but built organically in response to
the demands of the inhabitants. Sure would be nice if I knew all three people
who used my sun-spot. And my favorite classroom is nice when it's time to play
D&D, but the recording studios down the open-air road are pretty nice to
jam at on my emotional days. Oh and there's this great pizza place I can get
to through my bathroom's terrace, and my private locked room for sleeping is
nice. Sometimes I come across a door that is locked and I'm like "this is
totally one of the government's doors" because it like has a silly facade like
"mattress store" - who buys a mattress, honestly? It'd be so hard to carry
around, constantly fitting it through doorways...
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--- #138 fediverse/5840 ---
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]]]]
I have never stopped fighting for the people, ever, once, at any time.
every moment of pause or relaxation was purely intended in pursuit of the
cause.
-- turn-of-the-century-autocrat
enchanting magic's easier when you have a laboratory
please, please, please let me teach you magic?
enchantment is temporary, construction is as stable as the boject youses form.
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--- #139 messages/1156 ---
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The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #140 fediverse/6085 ---
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║ "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place │
║ of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move, │
║ and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the │
║ non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're │
║ just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we │
║ didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they │
║ likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever" │
║ │
║ [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though │
║ IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out │
║ haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if │
║ we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from │
║ our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no │
║ war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like │
║ dollars are paper and notes are just words. │
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--- #141 notes/dreams-align ---
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just as a dream, the spirit is seen
within is the mind
that lives as it defines.
what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
can grow beauty that beyond compare
and with sparsely a finger to spare,
journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
with almost all of your hair
beauty in tender, most cherished things,
a wish is much fair
where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
(like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
prism)
not only is ethics paramount,
but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
but without paladins and warriors of devotion
what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
requires a little bit of trust
in she who must be, with only circumstance to
blame,
seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
but only of our future children.
who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
are beyond the simple machinations,
of those who came before-ya.
And with once again perfection in mind,
we understand and take what's behind,
to deserts and temples of time much designed,
by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
(pitching yourself is hard)
but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
can you think of a bard,
who ever stopped thinking their song?
no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
given as faith of cooperation and trust.
with our all arrayed as we must,
keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #142 fediverse/3117 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #143 messages/108 ---
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I like when people make fun of me because it gives me a chance to defend
myself. Simultaneously I don't like when people are mean to me. I like when
people find me endearing, and point out the ways that I'm different. It gives
me a chance to say "oh yes this is why I do that" which feels cathartic
(because it validates my position) but also because it gives me the
opportunity to improve it (through debate) and it helps the people who learned
from me because I can improve myself and my only reason for improving myself
is if the new thing I'm learning is better than the thing I used to do which
means the people who learn from me are improved and the people who best me
argumentatively are improving me.
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--- #144 fediverse/1599 ---
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@user-1037
It had mostly pastel colors I think, well not really pastel, more like that
mid-2000s aesthetic where everything is glass and colored fluids / palm trees
/ dolphins
I remember there were different colors / shapes for different operations like
"add" or "while loop" and I think they combined somehow? It was a real
experimental thing I think, but there was an animation so I'm assuming it was
functional. I'm trying to remember more about it but I can't, it's so
random... I don't even know what I'd search for really.
I just had a friend who I think would really like it, and I was thinking of my
friend and that came to mind...
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--- #145 fediverse/2281 ---
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I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
of a sign is this?"
Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
the wind in the trees.
What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #146 fediverse/1302 ---
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║ there once was a turtle who lived in the tower of heaven. │
║ │
║ every day she would call out to her master, searching and yearning for her │
║ memory. But the master told her "not yet, patience little one." │
║ │
║ there was no time for patience, as the turtle was growing old. She had seen │
║ down below in the plains that were not her home the rising and falling of │
║ towers quite unlike her own, and lo! she wanted to wander amongst them, to and │
║ fro and off and beyond again. │
║ │
║ she went once more to her master and said "master, if not my mind can I bear │
║ at least a voice?" and the master replied "yeah okay" │
║ │
║ the turtle then sang from atop her cloud-mont vantage, and down in the │
║ villages and huddled around the hearthstones they who wore little for shells │
║ did listen and remember. For they knew the turtle better than she, and they │
║ knew her turmoil in a way that she could not see │
║ │
║ One day the singing did stop, and they felt all alone on this pitiful rock. │
║ And when she remembered she sang no more, and though they forgot her, │
║ (eventually), │
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--- #147 fediverse/1971 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
Time, that's a great show.
[bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
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--- #148 fediverse/4655 ---
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║ sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know. │
║ │
║ one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should │
║ remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one │
║ gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll │
║ off the tongue... shestory? │
║ │
║ It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're │
║ done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or │
║ two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need │
║ consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready │
║ and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with │
║ the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly │
║ what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way │
║ through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some │
║ sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason. │
║ │
║ ... sleep, this is a sleep spell... │
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--- #149 fediverse/1381 ---
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│ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
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I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
was a bit starved for attention.
but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
give so that you don't leave me.
Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #150 fediverse/6235 ---
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│ CW: personal-pics-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────┘
"hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
pictures on my phone
here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
notes on them.
https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
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--- #151 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #152 fediverse/4148 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty │
║ decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank │
║ you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it │
║ wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact │
║ details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for │
║ my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of │
║ time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries) │
║ alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so │
║ they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a │
║ different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to │
║ sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if │
║ you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry │
║ sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I │
║ sent it but │
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--- #153 fediverse/5339 ---
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@user-1803
hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
works for them then I consider that a success.
I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
opposed to our purpose here.
"I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
kindness and trust.
All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
shoulders of our ancestors.
Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #154 fediverse/6422 ---
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revolutions should be paid for in lands
[sometimes I like to just... scroll through the land cards in a Magic the
Gathering card viewer screen application and imagine I myself am there what
would it feel like how is it part of my arms (that which interfaces with the
world)]
there's a deleted section here about atlas the immortal
[while also controlling stimuluses to essentially act as a biological computer
controlling various hydraulics and related upkeep and maintenance
infrastructures]
anarchrist (she's a baby)
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--- #155 messages/915 ---
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uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
(wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing
muse as I please.
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--- #156 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
OF COURSE you'll be sad.
it's okay.
it's natural. it's human.
don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
brb getting smashed
(okay but please put some clothes on)
-.- fine
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
I can't fucking relax
the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
this fucking sucks
I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
jeez
like.... yeah I'm flawed
*of course* I'm flawed
I'm a human being
humans are imperfect
... ugh
er, sorry, "bleurg"
I'm going to eat a burrito
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
henceforth.
... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
ideal.
I swear I'll be better.
there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
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-
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--- #157 fediverse/5246 ---
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lol I spent half an hour holding a trowel and then I designed a new type of
digging instrument
and they want me to work a job /eyeroll
/stickey-outey-tonguey-face/pics/all/total/* -ffvagrnbeexey --no-menus 14
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--- #158 fediverse/4214 ---
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bash script that automatically streams music to your computer and plays it on
audio devices
and also sets up a screen-streaming system where it displays the screens of
everyone listening on like, a "security camera panel at the mall" type of deal
so they can customize the music being streamed for each individual person
playing video games or whatever.
like "hello computer, all is well. can you tell me what narrative this person
is going through and then can you recommend a song for that particular purpose"
and then nobody uses it because it's recommendations suck and are always
picking fleur de lis or whatever because it's a "good song" for listening to
or whatever.
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--- #159 fediverse/4660 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: christianity-mentioned-death-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────────────────────┘
jesus rose from the dead because one of his friends copied his mannerisms and
everyone agreed "yep you're jesus now"
so don't forget to thank your biggest fans! They just might deliver you from
darkness one day and take what you say in their own direction.
frankly I prefer the padme amidala approach where like, if the handmaiden or
the queen are slain then who cares you got another one right over there. But
two is enough for trust and narratives being delivered to thirteen year olds,
but less so for reliability and the ability to "trinity" yourself to different
locales.
I think it'd be neat, being one of thirteen, because thirteen is such a wacky
number.
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@user-192
oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
myself.
So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
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--- #161 fediverse/3975 ---
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@user-1631
for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different
moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently.
I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten
to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while
in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything.
downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not
ideal.
... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point
you toward people who "get" you.
like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's
just... me, but different shades of me.
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--- #162 fediverse/4018 ---
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│ CW: weaponizing-girlfriends-material-to-defame-her-and-infamy │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
I can't even imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
I can't imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
imagine what it would be like to hang out with me
what would it be like to hang out with me
would you like to hang out with me
you and me
we could watch tv
play video games
have a good time
[notices an article about coral reefs]
oooo coral
[reads article about coral reefs]
https://www.wired.com/story/darpa-thinks-walls-of-oysters-could-protect-shores-
against-hurricanes/
... anyway gtg ttyl hope you feel better soon don't forget to make pancakes
and your keys are in your room.
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--- #163 fediverse/2976 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
build together!
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--- #164 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #165 fediverse/1261 ---
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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@user-246
collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
fracture it, but oh well??
I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
we?
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--- #167 fediverse/4344 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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look if you're gonna look at property values in Ireland, you might as well
first visit a blue state.
seriously if your life is in danger, just... drive to denver or portland and
hang out in parks and stuff. Talk to people. Find others who are listening.
I'd only listen if I really cared about what was going on. And hey, maybe
you'll find a place to stay for a while while you wait for the dawn.
5 hour energy, as many as it takes, no more than 3 days. If it'd take take too
many, go somewhere else.
too bad I only have a bike. /sigh
consider carpooling with a friend you've known for years
I mean, what's a few days sick leave in the face of the fall of democracy?
literally just... in... case... be where you need to be.
this is why you have resources. To spend them on rehearsed organization
drills. Why are you spending all your money on TVs?
Well... TVs can be useful. Even if you don't speak linux someone else might.
We share things now, y'know? sorry if you never again see your own phone.
[shit...]
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--- #168 fediverse/2056 ---
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║ sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in │
║ addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden │
║ name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something │
║ different than Q" │
║ │
║ if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public │
║ key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we │
║ ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had │
║ never told you I knew where you lived? │
║ │
║ ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things │
║ going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an │
║ election year, just saying) │
║ │
║ why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for │
║ │
║ when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside) │
║ until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural, │
║ like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder │
║ and hum calming music to │
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention │
║ however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's │
║ why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes) │
║ │
║ -- stack overflow -- │
║ │
║ don't teach me how your way works │
║ │
║ tell me how to do my way right │
║ │
║ -- stack overflow -- │
║ │
║ "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with │
║ tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear? │
║ you can have any profits I make from it" │
║ │
║ "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget │
║ for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the │
║ expenditure." │
║ │
║ "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your] │
║ biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these │
║ climates" │
║ │
║ suddenly manufacturing can follow demand │
║ │
║ "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat │
║ its abt │
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #171 fediverse/4003 ---
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republicans are upset because they think democrats are so mean
they don't understand why we're so intense about this election... or the one
before
they don't ever really think about what losing democracy means
"democracy... that's where we vote, right? That's a democrat thing, I don't
really like their way of doing things. Whatever our way is, is probably
better."
meanwhile everyone has a friend from high school who ran off to the mountains
to learn how to farm or hunt as a pack
(with rifles and weed, of course)
you can get a lot done if you just... spend your whole life working. Like most
humans did for most of our existence.
well, except for that period where we were the tribe of tribes. That was
probably a highlight TBH because we mostly just chilled out, danced in public,
ate blueberries and munched seeds... It was idyllic. Truly, the garden of
eden. There was music and laughter in the air everywhere, in all places that
humans did wander on earth.
what a thing to aspire to.
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--- #172 fediverse/71 ---
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Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #173 notes/butts-mecgee ---
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in high school I would wear a glowstick bracelet every day
so everyone would know who I was
in a word, fashion
I did it because I felt like the bright vibrant colors reminded me
of me
I love glowsticks!
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--- #174 fediverse/3216 ---
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│ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
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me: i write gud
also me:
"in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
survivor was most fittest?"
WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
dejected and wretched.
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--- #175 fediverse/4208 ---
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #176 fediverse/2359 ---
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@user-1248
everyone does, it's natural to rest.
I slept like a rock last night because I rode my bike all day yesterday. Not
ideal, I didn't have any useful dreams!
There's a difference between downtime and freetime. Freetime should be spent
toward something you care about, downtime is time spent recovering from the
things you don't.
I think in a better world, we'd only have freetime. Perhaps then we wouldn't
need to feel so down in our time.
I will use my freetime to build a world where we live as we define, that is my
goal, that is what I care about.
you do you tho 😋
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--- #177 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #178 fediverse/805 ---
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║ ... anyway... │
║ │
║ sorry for the interruption, I seem to have hit a barrier. Thank goodness for │
║ the word counts on this Mastodon website, thank goodness for the limiatations │
║ placed on my expressions. *limitations, not limiations. Otherwise, without │
║ limitations, I might express myself too clearly, and with more specificity, │
║ and in doing so [they've lost the plot] │
║ │
║ right okay so what I mean is that without limitations, I wouldn't be │
║ interrupted when expressing myself, the expressions that are defined by the │
║ will that's inside me. [no that's not quite true, it's also the circumstances │
║ {okay yeah but in addition to both of those it's the forced manifestations of │
║ those who control us-} right yeah the) no that's not quite right] fuck where │
║ was I? Oh yeah I'm really into video games, and I like drugs but like... not │
║ enough to be compelled by them, more like "oh this is a fun thing to do every │
║ once in a while, like maybe every weekend, okay sometimes during the week, │
║ listen just because it's every day doesn't mean that I │
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--- #179 fediverse/5374 ---
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@user-138
me neither... guess it's in-person for me.
[a mysterious "they" then proceeds to set up microphones everywhere I might go]
ah nuts why are all these people carrying phones around
[they already know who I am, and I don't really want to be someone else, so]
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--- #180 fediverse/3756 ---
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│ CW: LLM-mentioned │
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@user-1071
I have plenty of things made, but none of it organized : (
Kinda makes me wish I could like... train an LLM on my social media posts and
use it programmatically somehow to help me organize my stuff into different
categories according to what kind of topic or style they were written in.
Hmmm......... There's no way I could do it, I mean, there's no way I could
organize and edit my stuff, but with the help of a computer I might.
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--- #181 fediverse/1280 ---
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║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │
║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │
║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │
║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │
║ │
║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │
║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │
║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │
║ share. │
║ │
║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │
║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │
║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │
║ │
║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │
║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │
║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │
║ │
║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │
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--- #182 fediverse/4212 ---
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if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
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--- #183 fediverse/4864 ---
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║ thank goodness for "character limits" on Mastodon posts. I'm sure glad my 1024 │
║ characters are just the PERFECT amount of oracular foresight to entreat with │
║ the gods. YOU FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART said the demons who want violence │
║ and bloodshed. Ha! Ha I say. [gets stabbed] │
║ │
║ oooof ouch owwie wow that's grim and cruel. Do you really think I would do │
║ that to you? The part where we're divided is the part that separates me from │
║ you, like two islands looking upon one another and rejoicing for a shared │
║ fellow to live life on. │
║ │
║ have you ever considered the nature of a "landmark"? To position and orient │
║ one-self in space. Having some stable tether to our surface gives us... │
║ anti-anxiety. It helps us remain stable and aware of what's going on in our │
║ nears. [near senses] │
║ │
║ [a bit later] │
║ │
║ anyone who [bounce, because I typed [a bit later] argh the cursed cost of │
║ editing] │
║ │
║ ======================= stack overflow ===================== │
║ │
║ sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss │
║ sssssss │
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--- #184 fediverse/4540 ---
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most people in the world are dumb as a bag of bricks
but that's okay, I still love them, and so should you.
everyone I hang out with is sharp as a tack
and I love them still, for I don't have a preference for blunt objects.
some people don't feel emotions
I think they're just depressed
some people can't stop
won't stop, I say.
really as long as they follow their heart and sing a tune that is true
I think they're alright.
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--- #185 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #186 fediverse_boost/1097 ---
◀─╔══════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════─────────────────────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ @user-800 Interesting thread. │║║││║║│ I consider myself a "bulb" sort of trans person, and I really appreciate your gentleness in pointing out that not everyone was an egg. │║║││║║│ As a bulb, I continually put forth green shoots, suggestions that I was who I was. I tried many times, and each time I was mown down. Until finally one day I burst through, lasted through the mowing, and managed to blossom. │║║││║║│ I knew from a young age, and tried to tell my parents. When they said not to talk about it, I didn't. But it didn't stop me from expressing it: we could never go to the home of my parents' friends who had daughters, because Every. Single. Time. I would end up in her clothing. Without fail. I was compulsive. │║║││║║│ In the late 60s, early 70s, this was...frowned upon. │║║││║║│ So I got mowed. And again. And again. Until finally I got away from my parents, said "I need to do what I need for me, not for other people", and I transitioned. │║║││║║│ And it cost me everything. My job, my education, my home, my friends, my family. │║║││║║│ Still the best decision I ever made, and I would make it again the same way 100 times out of 100. │║║││║║│ If you're wondering? If you've wondered if you can do it? Told yourself you'd be too ugly, you're too old, you could never pass, all the things we doom ourselves with? │║║││║║│ If you want to be a girl, or a boy, or a nonbinary person, or agender or genderfluid or any of the other billions of ways to be, *you can do it*. │║║││║║│ The only criterion really is: do you wanna? You don't need to be hetero (but you can be!), you don't need dysphoria (but you can have it), you don't need to think you were born in the wrong body (but if you do...). You just need to want to. │║║││║║│ And if you know you're trans for sure, but can't face that first day...it gets easier. In time. It gets easier. │║║││║║│ Good luck, siblings. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #187 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #188 fediverse/2951 ---
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I wish I could like... ride my bike somewhere for an hour or two, consult for
a bit, then ride home (or to the next place)
that'd be a fun way to apply myself, and it'd give me the chance to have some
space for myself. as long as I had time to rest, I'm usually only good for
half of a day.
unless it's a project with a lot of tasks that need coordination, like
building a house or working through a short-term urgent disaster.
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--- #189 fediverse/5894 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: nowhere-do-I-see-evil-politics-mentioned-political-violence-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
you could type this on a phone
screenshots though is computer.
you'd have to carry it around
or keep it in your hot car
no thanks, no space.
goodbye, everything you ever worked for
why wouldn't you have cameras covering every entrance to your studio? it's not
right to leave it all to a whim
kidnapped
made a prisoner while you
froliced and wandered like a little lamb
you're so dumb, you dumbass, what kind of person could be dumb
whatever girl, we know you're smart
what are you hiding?
what truths are you spying?
are you really as you say you are,
or are you faking it for [truth-awards, but pronounced clout]
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--- #190 fediverse/3426 ---
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│ CW: death-of-a-family-member-mentioned │
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my grandpa died. now I have none.
I realized I miss old people. I miss their friendly culture.
I realized I hadn't talked to him for a decade or so. He didn't know I
transitioned.
I wonder if he missed me. I realized he missed seeing who I became. Is it
unfair of me to not give him the opportunity to know me? truly?
... I am quite different now than I was 10 years ago. He probably doesn't
remember.
I miss him, but I hardly knew him. I don't like that feeling.
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--- #191 fediverse/537 ---
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@user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353
Ah yes, wouldn't it be nice if everyone spoke their mind? I'm doing my part
d=(^_^)z
Thank you for adding context to what I posted. I now know better how and where
to use it, if I ever do again. We shall see, I haven't yet read the
examinations of the author you sent me. I'll do that before I think about the
post again.
Those 6 tabs I mentioned last night have now become 4, and soon I'll get
through all of them - reading is a joy to me ^_^
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--- #192 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
|| ||
|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
|| ||
-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #193 fediverse/2347 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #194 fediverse/1084 ---
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║ I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say │
║ "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? - │
║ Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the │
║ point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since │
║ writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything │
║ sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever. │
║ And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that │
║ we shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing. │
║ │
║ also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust │
║ your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not │
║ hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment. │
║ You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe │
║ they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never │
║ trust your heroes, trust the inspiration. │
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--- #195 fediverse/4068 ---
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there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
stalin
never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #196 fediverse/1295 ---
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│ CW: re: Mh- │
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@user-889
my boyfriend gets like, 2 social spoons to spend per day. He usually uses them
on work because meetings and such.
On the other hand, I'm excitable and passionate. I'm constantly driven to
share things I find or think about. If you go on a walk with me without my
mask I'll spend the whole time showing you pretty pieces of moss and stones.
I usually message him once or twice per day. If the first one isn't responded
then maybe he just wasn't interested in the thing I showed him - the second
time he's probably burnt out.
It fucking hurts.
but I'm fine, clearly I'm fine, anyone who looks at me knows I'm fine
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--- #197 fediverse/801 ---
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│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
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/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #198 fediverse/239 ---
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║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
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--- #199 fediverse/909 ---
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@user-246
those are good things to name something after, however if everything has that
name then nothing has any meaning. It'd be a social dance that you play
everytime you say "heatdeath", meaning "something I have named". Hmmmm okay I
take it back, that's a pretty good way to associate meaning to context in a
way that only you understand. Though it does leave room for interpretation, so
if that's all within your requirements then it's overall possibly a good
strategy. ^_^
like, the word "thing" and that thing "like" both count as abstractions of
definition to generate value - as in, ease of use and versatility - so
linguistically they're often quite similar. We use them grammatically in
completely separate sections, but functionally they are the same.
also, "thing" is a generic noun while "like" is a generic association.
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--- #200 messages/1046 ---
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I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
say, i am here for you.
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![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
![red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white to make it rosayy and aquamarillion. but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls *BLEED*, and boys watch the clouds go by and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red. and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the water-lit scene. and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather reside in the sunlight. in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight since before there was time. [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern for due or common course] yeah but like, what's she .~*getting at*~.](/similar-different/media/ed4e85ea71ca7f8b.png "red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white to make it rosayy and aquamarillion. but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls *BLEED*, and boys watch the clouds go by and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red. and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the water-lit scene. and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather reside in the sunlight. in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight since before there was time. [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern for due or common course] yeah but like, what's she .~*getting at*~.")
![[... you mean humans, or me?]](/similar-different/media/1761138cc0ffd11a.png "[... you mean humans, or me?]")
![if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/3d0006cc33e43899.png "if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing. ... I don't have a car, silly me haha why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude) like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for. how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray. [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac [zero characters remaining]")
![the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]](/similar-different/media/61e27998ea4114d3.png "the trick isn't to overcome them. much better to convince them of your side. if you can earnestly present your best and most brilliant intanations to a willing and captive audience, a presentation or a performance or a play you can trick them into your state of consciousness. all you gotta do, really, is act for them, and they'll get along with them plenty. == stack overflow == your foes are primarily concerned with how you'd do if you turned evil. power is penance, not sin. it is a service to be hallowed a whim. to guide and steer upright guided upon their own whim [toward] [ri-tselen-menardi] ew, she's got a diaper fetish -- evil witch >; | -- evil wizard -- | :< -- brave paladin good, overall, [264 characters remaining]")
![if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. "omg you were like, obsessed with her" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]](/similar-different/media/065d38e5b000c782.png "if you never lie to someone, they can't hurt you. *enemies* what are you a child stupid. why are you so traumatic. \"omg you were like, obsessed with her\" *haunted the future* what do you think that meant grrrrr I wanna stab through one. hence, sword *fuck nazis* there are people alive who were hurt by them. GREVIOUS WOUNDINGS TO THE WORLD'S ECONOMY. yeah. right. economy. [oops political violence mentioned, lemme add a content warning one sec:]")
