=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
how.
I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
not for the current administration.
Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
food]
but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
which will soon be dissolved)
Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
of the army, navy, and air force?
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 messages/620 ---
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I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
still need swords.
I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
Judge me as you will.
Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
doing so.
He would deprive us of our light, and frankly he already has.
He would deprive us of our liberty, and his plans to do so are clear and
apparent.
He would deprive us of our lives, and history has shown that this is a
precedent.
I do not consent to a Trump presidency. I do not consent to his corruption any
longer. No more will I or my people be governed by such evil. We will fight
back, of this I am certain.
My demands are threefold.
First, I demand that Trump be replaced by a moderate republican. Hold a
primary and let Democrats vote. If none of your candidates work for us, pick a
new roster and try again.
The second is that Trump must be executed for treasonous high crimes. Nothing
less than execution will suffice.
Next, let the supreme court be purged and replaced. Half with democrats, half
republicans, and one moderate who is widely regarded with respect.
Failing these demands, I am willing to wage a terrible civil war for the soul
of our country. I know this is treason, but I do it anyway even though I am a
patriot. I do it because our land has been stolen by a man and his followers
who seek to plunge my people into despair.
He is but one man. So am I.
He has an army of followers. I do not.
Each of the wars we fight will be smaller than the last, as each of our cities
struggles toward our last gasp.
But together we are strong, and by connecting them we might deliver ourselves
from harm.
Against the far right, we must secure a cleansing blow. There is no greater
fight. The world is watching.
To that end, I suggest a great and perilous fight. I see no other option in
this remarkable century. Prepare as you might, I suggest pushups and resource
acquisition.
Deliver your resources somewhere safe if you're in a red area, and meet your
neighbors if you're not.
A blue city in a red state must survive a siege. Prepare yourself for this.
Assume that supplies will need to be delivered by convoy if by land, and drone
airdrop from the skies. Develop ways to protect these supply methods.
Public spaces are our homes now, our houses are just where we sleep.
I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
a brighter tomorrow.
I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
doing than daring.
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--- #2 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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=
to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
===============================================================================
=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
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=
okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
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=
Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
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=
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--- #3 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #4 fediverse/3158 ---
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patriotism is not about the 4th of july.
it's about believing in the virtues they've told you.
trusting that they are working with their own arms.
and checking back every once in a while, to make sure it doesn't get... frayed.
the constitution was supposed to be rewritten every 20 years
they were trying to make the best out of a conflicted situation. As all
writers of constitutions often do. why would you need a document forcing
yourself to agree, if you are the only one who is there to agree with your
self? it's circular.
however, with companions, that worked with you to resolve your crisis (like
the 13 colonies pitted against the global superpower of great britain, aka the
baddest fucker out there (also France, and the rest of them, like...
colonialism was a purely european sport.
but england was the best at it, and America finally kicked them to the ground.
Buncha jerks, charging taxes without representation.
...
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--- #5 messages/1358 ---
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I just watched the 2026 state of the union. I take back what i said about the
Democrats - it must have been difficult to resist the waves of shame i could
feel rippling off of the right half of the room. The way that the... "vibes",
were wielded as a weapon against them, it was so intense. This is their job,
they do it all the time. After listening to him speak for 2 hours I can't help
but talk like him... Jeez it was like, one story after another, saying "here's
something great an American did, here's a medal, here's why it's the Democrats
fault" one after another like... Wow. (explain your feelings and conclusions,
don't just remark on things and say "this should make you feel how my body
language makes you feel" because that second way is in defiance of truth and
in pursuit of nuance. Not ideal for real people who want to make real
decisions based on what you say.)
And the way that all his successes he recounted at the beginning were
purposefully designed to create and enforce hierarchy, it makes me sick. I
hate that. Then, when he claimed all of America in his closing statements
"from Texas to michigan, from Florida to the dakotas" great, I guess my people
aren't included. Thank god for that, we are nothing like you.
Yet still, unity. I don't understand how these people can hold such power.
They're just orchestrating vast swathes of people who aren't really listening.
To do what? Who knows! Just live and let die I guess. Well, I'm not the type.
I want unity for my people. I want to claim all Americans as my own. Yet the
ways they delight in organizing themselves are cordially and crucially
coercive and caustic. The hierarchies they build exert immense force on those
below, yet they care not as the workers, the poor, the queers, the immigrants,
and eventually, their peers, are one by one crushed or crippled from the
demands that their cruel system demands. They do this on purpose - fascism
must always have an other because it is inherently consumptive - it burns
through all the wealth and blessings it can get its hands on. So too does the
"successes" touted by Trump bring about a consumption of the self -
auto-cannabilism of the nation, starting with the weakest amongst us.
Why do you think our country is in decline? He calls it great, booming, and
strong. I say he's straining a cracked foundation, that he's stepping on the
weeping poor who struggle for warmth.
I agreed with him on Iran, struggling to consider fighting beside Israel but
they are our gateway to the middle east. The people there have had their
hearts twisted and I do begrudge them for it. But Iran is evil too, so we have
to do what we can for those who need us.
The promises he made at the end resonated with me. Some of them were my words
- take them! Be grateful. I also wish for a bountiful future for my people. I
do, however, refuse to build that wealth upon the backs of slaves. Liberty
often feels shackled by hierarchy, and the hierarchy of the wage is critically
apparent in the modern day.
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I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #7 fediverse/2548 ---
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║ │ CW: uspol │ │
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║ │
║ │
║ "I don't believe you" │
║ │
║ sure. yeah, fine, whatever. we'll be off your land once we're on the other │
║ side. │
║ │
║ "I'm actually not a rancher, I'm a ranger. I'm here with the US national │
║ guard, we've been sent to talk you down" │
║ │
║ um, hey so would you like a 15 minute summary of how the US military is fucked │
║ up, both for it's veterans, it's strategic goals, it's colossal waste of │
║ resources, or...? │
║ │
║ "hi I'm actually one of the suburban dads from back west we uh finished │
║ training what should we do now" │
║ │
║ no you dummy you're supposed to head straight east, not meet up with the │
║ spearhead. │
║ │
║ "yeah uh I'm actually an east coast commando operative, I've been sent to │
║ learn your ways" │
║ │
║ wait you mean you weren't planning and executing some similar plan this whole │
║ time? │
║ │
║ "um I'm a cartographer, I'm wondering what to call the border-less land" │
║ │
║ oh that's easy, it's america, and it's land, and we refuse to divide it. │
║ │
║ It's the Undivisible Lands of America, or ULA which sounds a lot like USA so │
║ we can use the same chants for it ha │
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--- #8 fediverse/2593 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
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He skuffed up my water bottle.
He tore pages from my journal.
He made me lose my necklace.
He damaged my knife.
And still, I followed him all night.
Why? Because I knew it was important. I needed him to tell me what he was
doing and why. And I think I know, now.
To all the federal agents reading this, please understand that I am a patriot,
and he is not. Who do you serve?
To all the leftists, punks, anarchists, queers, and anyone else who's cooler
than me, please understand that they will try and make it hard. But our love
will win.
Don't abandon your friends. If someone you know goes missing, they're probably
buried in the trash-dump or human trafficked.
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--- #9 fediverse/1264 ---
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@user-901
I'd do the same thing when I was on Reddit. Except, backwards - I'd argue with
American conservatives (nobody more extreme than that) politely and kindly,
using logic and empathy. I'd cite their sacred documents like the bible, the
constitution, or even just the founding fathers.
I don't know if I ever changed any minds, but I represented my ideas as
honestly and clearly as I could. I can't help but hope that some people saw
them and considered them. Sometimes all it takes is a push, and they'll start
thinking on their own. Like a thought that doesn't go away, they can't quite
forget how they couldn't find the lie in what you spoke.
Or maybe I wanted to believe my actions had value. Post-hoc justification. Who
can say. At least my intentions were honest.
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--- #10 fediverse/5431 ---
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║ "they" want us to contest a powerful foe and emerge victorious, to instill a │
║ sense of strength and righteous dignity within us. │
║ │
║ "we" want to win with the minimal amount of casualties necessary. │
║ │
║ these two demands are not contradictory, but they pull our trajectory in │
║ different directions. │
║ │
║ I truly believe that we the people could oust our political foes with little │
║ opposition - little more than a minor civil war which lasted long enough to │
║ show our foes how badly they are outmatched. │
║ │
║ maybe that comes as a surprise to you, ye who are unarmed, but it does not to │
║ me, for I have faith in our institutions and values. │
║ │
║ If Trump espoused the ideals of his party, specifically the ideal of │
║ efficiency and discipline, then perhaps he would be a fine leader. However his │
║ goals seem to me, a citizen and therefore his de jure subject, to be primarily │
║ motivated by money, by power, by corruption. │
║ │
║ not ideal. │
║ │
║ For this reason I swear to contest the fascists in control. │
║ │
║ "they", if you will. │
║ │
║ also hey what's up I'm drunk lmao │
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--- #11 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #12 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #13 fediverse/6276 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
colorful.
I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
diversity.
I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
nation or a band.
gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
are some lines not to cross.
dark magics
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--- #14 fediverse/2306 ---
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│ CW: re: uspol │
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"Come, join our side. Lay down your arms, and teach us to use them. We've got
nazi's to fight."
Find common ground. Use it to gain power. Do not trust your new allies
completely until proven, but do not treat them with harm.
Do not trust them, at least not at first. After all, there's nazi's amongst
them. But there's also good people who would die for you.
Let them select from amongst their number those who they would like us to
judge. We will be harsh to their vipers and kind to their protectors.
Some people do police work in order to get by. Some do it to help others in a
vague unspecified way that only a preschooler filling out a "what I want to be
when I grow up" assignment can internalize. Some want to protect things, to
keep them running smooth
and some want to hurt things.
Give them the chance to find them. They are not your friends. They are not
their friends. They are those who we fight.
We must secure a cleansing blow against the right.
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--- #15 fediverse/6055 ---
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the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
"the people" get it
but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
on, whatever it may be.
they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
hate. they're itching for it.
volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
"you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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--- #16 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #17 fediverse/1296 ---
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@user-928 @user-929 @user-930
I dunno, from my perspective it's less about whether or not they're
"unwitting" specifically and more like "lesser of two evils" - many of the
republican people I knew in the past who were my age were utterly and
absolutely convinced that if we didn't defend our homeland, somebody would
come and kill us for it.
It didn't really matter who that other was, they were convinced that someone
would do it. So they supported the military and opposed loosening restrictions
on immigration (instead preferring tighter restrictions, but more quantity. As
in, "let in more people but only if we KNOW they're cool")
I can't help but wonder if people join the military for the same reasons. Like
standing atop the wall that divides "us" from "them", they put their backs to
those they love and trust and face out toward whatever may come.
The military is a very diverse place. I know a lot of other people do it just
because it seems like a good, honest job.
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--- #18 messages/1343 ---
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I've never been a fan of the democrats. From a young age, I remember my father
talking about how spineless they were, and how cruel and shortsighted the
republicans were. I have since come to learn that democrats, as an economic
class, are also shortsighted, and their lack of foresight causes their
"triage" to have cruel effects. We could do so much better, and it's not
because everyone wants something different as they say. The reason is because
they are spineless. They don't want to rock the boat because they're afraid of
death. Remember, most of them are so thoroughly traumatized having lived in
the era of nuclear threat (which isn't over, I might add) and post-911
hysteria (which they contributed to, I might add) and it makes sense that they
act so conservatively. They feel such immense pressure to keep the ship
sailing but if your rigging is secure and you've got enough control over the
boat, you can pull down the sails and wait out the storm. T.T too bad j+j
I bet we were in love in the original timeline. The me from then was different
than the me from now, so I don't know if it could ever work out. Talk to me
after the war, maybe it'll toughen me up a bit.
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--- #19 fediverse/4200 ---
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"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #20 messages/690 ---
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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