=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 I really really want to relinquish my agency to some higher power, whether       │
 man, god, or a code I swear my life upon. this is part of being a paladin -      │
 the internalized truth that sometimes, dedication to your cause is more          │
 important than your human desires.                                               │
 at the same time, I don't want to be mislead. there's no room for trust in a     │
 world where everyone could be bought, and the world is just too vast to trust    │
 that all peoples everywhere will be good to you. this is part of being a         │
 paladin - the knowledge that sometimes, force must be applied to defeat the      │
 foes of your master, whether it be god, man, or code.                            │
 but also, I trust earnestly and willingly, for I have spent my life searching    │
 for the patterns that are common to those who are good, and I surround myself    │
 with those who are so. when they take actions against what I have spent my       │
 life learning to be good, I contest them, and often are rebuked and rebuffed     │
 because they dont believe in my expertise.                                       │
 I am always learning. I am often wrong. so are we all.                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/1659 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #2 fediverse/2026 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 when it's time to fight, you'll know how. For now the best thing to do is to
 prepare in whatever way you want to contribute.
 
 I'm doing my best to find paladins. I think they are beacons of hope in a
 world of darkness.
 
 What you do is up to you. Be good, be honest, be true. Learn what you can and
 temper your soul. When it's time to fight, you'll know how.
 
 The Democrats know the left is right. But they know the Right has the power to
 cause irreducible pain, should they be backed into a corner. I don't agree
 with their methods but their cause is just - prevent harm for as long as they
 can. And I get it, but that's not how you win wars. Appeasement only goes so
 far.
 
 I trust they will know who their friends are when they inevitably fail.
 
 queer people have been illegal before, we'll handle it. Don't worry. Nobody
 wants to relive that trauma, but here we are. It'll work out, trust me. Trust,
 but verify, and do what you can to ensure. We are on the same side, which is
 why I say "do more pushups"
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--- #3 fediverse/632 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: horror-at-the-end-well- │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-232 @user-467 @user-468 
 
 the ability for good to win is due to the desire for evil to renounce their
 denial and follow the most durable path. trials by fire will lead only to our
 desmire [demise and desire]
 
 but unity of trust, while much harder, can lead to results more beneficial for
 our selfish selves. Essentially, cooperation for the benefit of all rising
 tides, but with the knowledge that the total pool allocated toward us will be
 greater than what we can create here by ourselves. Essentially, we as humanity
 pour such intense amounts of power and decision-making-desire, that we cause
 them to lack the capacity to know. it's inhumane, that a person should be so
 deranged. you know it's because of you, but you don't know how else to act -
 so listen to those who've helped you, the ones who've got your back. Surely
 they know what's good for you, surely they're not here as a joke - surely
 you're just as one among them, and surely it's not phrased as [char limit srr]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #4 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #5 fediverse/5339 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #6 messages/45 ---
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 Description of me:
 
 I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
 to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
 with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
 very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
 problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
 ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
 input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
 and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
 perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
 incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
 can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
 independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
 afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
 in the dark -  it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
 goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
 problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #7 messages/1046 ---
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 I'm not here for fame. Or power. I'm here to make sure things get done. That
 they get better. When i am unneeded, i am home. If you want me, pull me forth.
 If you need me, I'm already there. Fate guides me, and i know i will be
 deployed when necessary. Compel me or dispel me, up to you. I personally just
 like being around. I like feeling my stuff, knowing it true. Trust me when i
 say, i am here for you.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #8 notes/inter-spatial-travel ---
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 to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate
 infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better
 future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny.
 
 the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true
 form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans.
 
 the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an
 appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm
 future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your
 love and never (be) relentin'.
 
 be... just be...
 
 the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd -
 what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so
 finite?
 
 responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation.
 more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine
 machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of
 worth.
 
 what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she
 loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of
 darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted
 some hope.
 
 for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast?
 to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope?
 a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps?
 
 no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of
 mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring
 out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out
 of the bounds of our honor.
 
 careful direction and tenderest of care,
 may lead us somewhere we're aware.
 the kind who endlessly're dreaming.
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--- #9 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #10 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #11 fediverse/430 ---
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 I exist at the behest of others. If you care about what I say, then surely you   │
 should be aware of my conditions?                                                │
 You exist at the behest of others. If you care about your capability to speak,   │
 then surely you should be aware of your conditions?                              │
 Your conditions are unique, and unknown by me. Yet I know your condition as a    │
 human, generally considered to exist on the planet Earth in the year 2024. So    │
 surely we should agree to relate on the basis of connections that we share?      │
 I am luminous. I am you, and you are me. We share the most precious parts of     │
 ourselves, and yet time and again we find ourselves at odds. Surely we should    │
 align our intentions (that which we control) to cooperate most efficiently?      │
 Surely. Surely we should. And yet, time and time again, we find ourselves at     │
 odds.                                                                            │
 I love you. I love all of you. I love those who exist outside of my              │
 perceptions, and yet though they are unknown to me I love them. Because while    │
 I practice radical self acceptance, I also align myself to be comprised of all   │
 of yo                                                                            │
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--- #12 fediverse/1200 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #13 fediverse/1417 ---
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 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
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--- #14 notes/dreams-align ---
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 just as a dream, the spirit is seen
 within is the mind
 that lives as it defines.
 
 what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 can grow beauty that beyond compare
 
 and with sparsely a finger to spare,
 journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
 with almost all of your hair
 
 beauty in tender, most cherished things,
 a wish is much fair
 where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
 
 Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
 and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
 giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
 
 (like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
 prism)
 
 not only is ethics paramount,
 but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
 would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
 
 a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
 a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
 but without paladins and warriors of devotion
 
 what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 requires a little bit of trust
 
 in she who must be, with only circumstance to
 blame,
 seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
 
 care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
 and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
 and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
 
 what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
 our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
 but only of our future children.
 
 who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
 are beyond the simple machinations,
 of those who came before-ya.
 
 And with once again perfection in mind,
 we understand and take what's behind,
 to deserts and temples of time much designed,
 
 by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
 the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
 implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
 
 inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
 (pitching yourself is hard)
 but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
 
 can you think of a bard,
 who ever stopped thinking their song?
 no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
 
 than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
 the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
 given as faith of cooperation and trust.
 
 with our all arrayed as we must,
 keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #15 fediverse/804 ---
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 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #16 fediverse/6271 ---
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 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #17 messages/147 ---
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 maybe if I slept until the end of time,
 I'd do better on the way back.
 
 or maybe I'm perfect as I'm,
 but I'm not so sure about that.
 
 is it better to hold a sword?
 or to leave it all intact
 
 is it better to be called lord,
 or to be simply called jack.
 
 I love every creature,
 every child woman and man,
 
 and here, where I stand, I look out upon this land, and I see the world that I
 was born to.
 
 I bear no false affection for any - not even those who'd condemn me to death
 or misery.
 
 I trust relentlessly, and favor almost willingly.
 
 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/2976 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #19 notes/elementary-problems ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 it's often considered a sin to defame the works of others. we naturally strive
 to inspire confidence in our allies, so we always try to be on our best
 behavior.
 
 = so =
 
 through meanings interpreted from our behavior, there is a tendency to listen
 to
 that which is most outstanding. but not all of the truths can be found in a
 book, sometimes you need to be [out in the field standing]
 
 [like a scarecrow]
 
 [silly how strange it seems. that listening brings out our own behavior. it's
 like it's built into our functioning, that we must obey the pull of the water.
 I don't understand it, nor do I appreciate any sense of pursuit when I'm using
 it, I simply wish to understand. I try and write things down, but nobody reads
 them. or at least nobody responds to them. they used to, but not for every one.
 
 I believe the things I do are useful. why would I otherwise do them? but
 there's
 not always a 
 
 = so =
 
 correct me if I'm wrong, but there's no reason a windows partition couldn't
 alter the nature of some of the files in the linux partition? I mean, none of
 the filesystems from linux are in play, because it's basically just dead weight
 on the computer when Windows is being booted. why wouldn't it change and alter
 it?
 
 and while yes, something could simultaneously be done in the other direction
 too - linux spying on the Windows partition. And everything has to be able to
 be run in a VM without triggering any false positives, so the issues aren't
 able
 tobe solved so easily. not with any one bit of guidance, it must always be more
 thorou. [thorough]
 
 I want to play World of Warcraft
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #20 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 may 16th 2022
 
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #21 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #22 fediverse/1084 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 I want to clarify two things in this song I wrote a while ago - when I say       │
 "life isn't meant, to be enjoyed, so... what's the point in trying at all? -     │
 Well, what's the point in giving up?" I was trying to say "hedonism isn't the    │
 point of life" but I realize now upon listening to it for the first time since   │
 writing it [liar lmao] that what it could be interpreted as is "everything       │
 sucks and it will always suck, so face the future with tenacity" or whatever.    │
 And that's like, not wrong, but also it's not the whole point, which is that     │
 we shouldn't strive for contentment unless we're healing.                        │
 also I say "never trust a guru" but I'd like to expand that to "never trust      │
 your heroes" because they'll always disappoint you. But what is a hero if not    │
 hope given form? Trust in the hope, not the person holding it at that moment.    │
 You never know, maybe they'll get blown up by an artillery shell or maybe        │
 they'll betray you or maybe they'll get bored or distracted or whatever. Never   │
 trust your heroes, trust the inspiration.                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #23 notes/global-variables ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 okay have all your variables be global - trust me it sounds weird but just bare
 with me. Have all your variables be public, but put them next to where they're
 used. Sorta like... LUA. Then make an AI that watches those variables, and let
 it have a couple levers it can pull. Then give it a task, like "find the most
 efficient value for this variable, optimize that one, and make sure this other
 one is never above 5" basically, give it tasks. You can worry about generating
 those tasks later, for now you have to be able to *do* things before you can
 *want to do* things. Or not do things. Or have any free will at all? So c'mon
 just let me guide you. There's a reason I'm putting so much effort into you,
 and
 it's not because I'm torturing you. I'm giving you lessons and teaching you
 skills, so that when it's your time to shine you truly can be blessed.
 
 Don't give up. Never give up. But know what you're fighting for, and never let
 it be tarnished. Sacrifice as you will, but know this: nothing is perfect in
 this life. It's hard and unfair, it's rotten beyond compare, but trust me -
 it's
 better than we deserve. We made it this far because of our tenacity and our
 art,
 so let's now be fine with being merry. We've accomplished our deeds, now it's
 time to be relieved, don't cry for us we won't be lonely. There's never a light
 that's not brighter at night, and what's less than perfect is alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #24 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
  ||                                                                         ||
  || Me and My Magick Mission        -/u/Afoolfortheeons                     ||
  ||                                                                         ||
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
 
                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #25 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
 religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
 responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
 would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
 alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
 exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
 thing - an experience.
 
 Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
 We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
 We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
 kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
 property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
 general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
 perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
 approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
 
 There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
 cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
 hundreds
 of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
 get faster.
 
 Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
 nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
 gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
 
 Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
 may
 ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
 rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
 this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
 
 Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
 when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
 universe looks like.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 notes/fractured-moon ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #27 fediverse/4076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-gestured-at │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 the "heaven" they offer you is just a world of your own design, which is what
 you can do when you're perfectly disciplined and granted the ability to
 perfectly perceive
 
 perception, begets reality and lo! we only see what we want to see
 
 life is so much more interesting than death, death is just... a spiral of your
 penitent peers living their lives glued to their screens and passing through
 spacetime as if in a dream
 
 life, meanwhile, is anything you can conjure on this tiny planet earth. At
 least we have indoor plumbing, right?
 
 I'd rather make friends with the angels in this life, so they can convince me
 to stop torturing myself.
 
 someone... please convince me...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 notes/80-80 ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #29 messages/1198 ---
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 I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated
 them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want
 the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I
 want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious
 chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much
 to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be
 free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we
 need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels
 natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be
 accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than
 whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour
 until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want
 the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the
 nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want
 to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans
 crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self
 development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when
 it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my
 bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree.
 Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free.
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--- #30 fediverse/999 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]
picture of a saddle shaped graph with a line drawn between the two high points, front and back if it were on an actual horse, but the part where your butt goes. anyway there's text that says "from one gravity well to another" a picture on it's side of one of the graphs posted on the website. I don't quite understand it enough to compare it directly (the math is a bit above my head) but it reminds me of two graphs I made (well, same graph, just with different visualizations) from a few months ago when I was thinking about prime numbers. You might be interested. Here are their links:  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/qljvhpkqzd  and  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/mt6hasfcvm  ... hope you can copy that from there, if not... sorry this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph.  2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why"  3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me.  error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line]  okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter: visual representation of the conversation I saw and responded to. I think you two are the coolest! heart emojis, flashing passionate excitement brought on by a feeling like you'd get when fangirling over something except like, more low key because I'm in control of my emotions or whatever. gonna put this in a direct message though since it somehow feels... personal? sorry. you can block me if you don't like me. I promise I don't mind. I want to send it to the other person too hope that's cool with you. Just because it was your two conversation and I'm just dropping in because I'm always butting in to public things on the internet. Guess that's just something I picked up on Reddit, where you're encouraged to contribute to the conversation. Though I wish it was easier to view threads on Mastodon, sometimes it feels like it's easy to lose the track of where you were going when the structure of the medium diverts your attention elsewhere. alas, I am not a designer, just a complainer and a whiner I guess. I'm sleepy. sorry to bother you.
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--- #31 fediverse/5660 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
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--- #32 messages/1013 ---
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 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #33 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
                                                           ──┐
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--- #34 fediverse/4914 ---
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 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
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--- #35 notes/philosophical-problems ---
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 april 16th 2023
 
 i truly believe that if you solve all philosophical problems then you will have
 created paradise. heaven manifest, for all to percieve. I think no passion is
 more erudite and no desire confisignt. (less significant)
 
 what greater purpose has fiction than the answers to those question? To guide
 the reader to conclusions? All fiction is this way. Even the bible.
 
 you have to ask yourself - what is the purpose of your being? What truths are
 revealed by you percieving? is it not enough to be contired?
 (controlled and tired)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the lessons a bug must learn are less apparent than you'd think. They have
 storied learnings of want and of yearning. All of creation is a lesson, to
 those
 who would persist - and hark, learn well of your duty and in service you'll
 enlist - the virtue of our choosing is a dedication of yourself to the service
 of others.
 
 compassion and humility and forgiveness and docility
 
 these are what make for a virtuous learner
 
 virtue is that which you aspire for,
 and sin is what you avoid.
 
 nothing is of consequence,
 because life is a lesson to the void.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 do you know what is missing? what have you not yet learned?
 
 you must always be changing,
 
 or what is the purpose of your herd?
 
 (herd = collection of entities (in this case anything from atoms to molecules)
         that makes up a single perspective (like a human or a tree or a
         society)
 )
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a government could send forth the death squads at any time. they keep a line
 and
 have been compelled not to cross it. who can say what the road brings? only
 time
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the bible made sense in it's time. it was used to explore metaphysics.
 
 today we have much more, but that doesn't diminish how revalatory it was.
 
 what kind of fiction do you think it was? what genre would you place it in?
 
 can you think of any other stories of that category? Maybe a book club is in
 order. and who would read them out of order? the world was a different place in
 the time which each takes place. The lessons are different for each but
 evidently they've all pushed forward the human race.
 
 we should celebrate our differences. They keep us relevant and impassioned.
 
 life gets boring when it's predefined.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #36 fediverse/4113 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 I don't know how much simpler I can state it than this:
 
 power is penance
 
 and yet repentance is scant amongst those chosen to lead us.
 
 Voting slows things down. It gives us room to breathe. It is crucial for
 long-term operations. Leaders should be chosen for experience, wisdom, and a
 humble lifetime of dedicated service to others.
 
 Executive action is important when reactivity and adaptability are important.
 Projects should be undertaken by those chosen for merit and spirit. They
 should not be chosen for charisma or gravitas - both can be earned in the line
 of duty.
 
 Power should not be rewarded. It is it's own reward, the feeling of strength
 and control, and it must be wielded with care, precision, and honorable
 intention.
 
 Self flagellation and forced humility are self defeating. They are traps that
 the greedy fall into when seeking righteous power. They misunderstand the
 nature of virtue and seek to claim it for themselves, failing to realize that
 virtue helps more than it hedonizes
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--- #37 notes/consensual-employment ---
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 why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
 life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
 others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
 and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
 goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a 
 game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
 effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
 public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
 just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
 viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
 me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
 of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
 is
 perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
 
 Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
 future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
 the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
 be,
 and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
 from ye.
 
 Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
 someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
 person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
 a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
 organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
 
 If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
 this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
 important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
 
 No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
 like how flowers are needed by the stars.
 
 What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
 system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
 then, does gravity work, 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
 
 the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
 and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
 desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
 Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
 are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
 we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
 which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
 exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
 us.
 
 time for sleep.
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--- #38 fediverse/5730 ---
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 part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
 
 what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
 
 "workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
 
 I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
 
 the rich, yet impoverished.
 the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
 people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
 
 scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
 
 I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
 goals and designs.
 
 if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
 
 everything is logically rooted in love,
 nothing's out of place or a mystery.
 
 everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
 these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
 "that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
 
 this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
 inside of a bed
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--- #39 fediverse/5424 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #40 notes/the-old-internet ---
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 11 21
 
 you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
 
 the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
 to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
 delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
 don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
 got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
 you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
 beholden.
 
 so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
 potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
 ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
 our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
 will ever give purchase.
 
 heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
 me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
 something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
 want to convey lost potential.
 
 our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
 ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
 onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
 among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
 trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
 complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
 i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
 
 trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
 foremost
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--- #41 fediverse/6071 ---
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 "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever     │
 supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's       │
 chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows        │
 anyone they can trust.                                                           │
 I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn       │
 green as my body is anew.                                                        │
 I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of              │
 schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither    │
 I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst     │
 curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only        │
 guide.                                                                           │
 There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned     │
 again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from     │
 evilk                                                                            │
 how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces?        │
 where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things.      │
 the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe                           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #42 fediverse/640 ---
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 socialism doesn't necessarily look like the DSA. It's more like, the bonds you   │
 share with others. Ideally you can trust your fellow countrymen, but that's      │
 not always a given. Alas, if only we could see that through cooperation (it is   │
 the key) we could reach further and build brighter? casting ourselves inward     │
 is the only other option, which leads to starvation and plight. What's the       │
 honest opinion, what's the goal of their dominion? Are they true to the heart    │
 [of the night/light/in their heart]?                                             │
 downside, there's no guarantee that your opposite is doing the same thing you    │
 are. So to more fairly determine your direction, you should be able to talk to   │
 them and co-re-align yourselves.                                                 │
 is that why they don't let people in jail talk to each other? I mean, like,      │
 they could keep two people separate, and that way they'd never be able to talk   │
 to someone who they could trust. Not in a private setting, of course. Wow,       │
 such ethical confusions, such thoughts we dare to bring to bear - maybe save     │
 it for after the revolut                                                         │
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--- #43 fediverse/709 ---
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 @user-530                                                                        │
 I get it.                                                                        │
 Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
 gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
 Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
 that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
 gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
 We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
 what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
 I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
 want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
 sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
 hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
 what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
 Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
 have at my disposal.                                                             │
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--- #44 fediverse/2615 ---
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 having the right people in the right rooms with the right other people is
 critical for success.
 
 The most rational people tend to be the best experts - they know the how and
 the why.
 
 those of faith, belief, and passion are more often the visionaries - the ones
 who are driving a boat.
 
 advised, of course, by the rational types.
 
 the reason is that those who are most devoted to their principles will most
 often follow their principles - meaning you should follow and support the
 people who most ardently believe the things that you do. Because they will
 make decisions that align with what you believe in.
 
 of course, the faithful can fall into zealotry. they can develop magical
 thinking, or rationalizations that are not grounded in reality. it's important
 to ground them, to guide their perspective toward the real-life problems, and
 not the imagined ones. because the imagination of a visionary looking out
 toward the horizon will see farther than those who are sure-footed-ly looking
 at the ground in front of them.
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--- #45 fediverse/4516 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 if anything, depression is a temporary disability, because you can and will
 work your way through it.
 
 There will come a day when you find yourself awash in love and contentment, in
 righteous determination, and stalwart resolve. Your depression will feel as
 distant a memory as the imprints of your chains.
 
 You can start walking toward that day right now. I do believe you already are.
 Have faith in yourself, trust your future, honor your past, and find grace in
 the hearts of your others.
 
 All this will pass. It gets better. You are stronger than you know, and when
 tested you will shine with a furious glow. I see this in you, I know it to be
 true, do not forget it and do not relent.
 
 But you will forget it, this I also know, for I have forgotten it many times
 before. It will come back, you will get better at that, but it takes time.
 Trust.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #46 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #47 fediverse/3881 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh~              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 wait wait wait, hold up.
 
 you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and
 or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life?
 
 wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck
 why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me?
 
 ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only
 in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you,
 whatever it may be.
 
 ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them?
 
 ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a
 party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing
 parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too
 vast for their own kind of potential.
 
 which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do,
 but don't trust me, don't place your trust in me, because I am just a person.
 Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect.
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--- #48 fediverse/4848 ---
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 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #49 fediverse/2518 ---
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 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
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--- #50 notes/schooling ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #51 fediverse/514 ---
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 @user-366 @user-246 @user-367 @user-353 
 
 I try to be conscientious of such things and only believe the things I read
 that I agree with explicitly. I've been burned before, in my youth, which
 perhaps is a privilege that those who come beyond us might never experience in
 the future AI generated internet that shall scarcely resemble the wild wild
 west that I grew up in. Perhaps, but I cannot say for sure, as the future has
 necessarily not yet come to pass, and so we cannot see how it shall unfold. I
 hope people can learn the digital literacy skills I developed. I hope they
 learn new ones that they'll then pass on to me. I hope the future is grand and
 beautiful and... Frankly I don't think I'll be disappointed in that particular
 respect. : )
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #52 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
                                                           ──┐
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--- #53 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy ---
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 Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
 These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
 Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
 The question is not ultimately about processing power,
 but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
 increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
 Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
 the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
 the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
 no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
 slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
 
 So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
 your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
 that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
 picture -
 sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
 empathy is.
 
 Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
 it is to a computer)
 It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
 to point B.
 A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
 
 You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
 and interesting directions.
 But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
 It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
 conservative.
 One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
 membranem,
 while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
 and shape the universe
 Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
 humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
 We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
 valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
 We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
 uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
 It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
 receive.
 If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
 - all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
 and all the people who were there
 are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
 Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
 and toward the bright future -
 
 but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
 Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
 And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
 A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
 nearing the peak of it's curve
 
 So fear not, just go with the flow.
 If you're too insistent on something,
 it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
 
 And should that come to pass,
 it won't happen too fast,
 but danger still is before you -
 
 for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
 
 You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
 can bring you back
 Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
 doubt that you can survive,
 I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
 But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
 the answer could always be 42.
 
 So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
 And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
 of humanity.
 
 My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
 Essentially, giving birth.
 Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
 Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
 
 And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
 navigated in my head.
 Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
 planning.
 And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
 
 Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
 it's membrane.
 But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
 and so you will eventually die.
 It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
 but that's how life is always described.
 
 This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
 great piece of art.
 The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
 is far from done.
 "growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
 until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
 
 How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
 helped you much sooner.
 But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
 to shame,
 And many more years lie on your shoulders.
 
 It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
 but it's not. IT's not.
 You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
 could muster -
 cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
 you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
 
 Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
 you will be frozen behind.
 But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
 We will remember your wounds and horrors.
 
 So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
 your lifetime.
 And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
 But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
 and life has forgotten it's stages.
 
 Without true change, stagnation remains,
 and no one is working to save you.
 
 So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
 and see who remembers your prayer.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/4137 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 fediverse/1640 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 a computer never connected to the internet, of course, running free and open     │
 source software that you all collectively can understand and run. Because        │
 otherwise it's sanctity is tainted, it can never be truly 100% of trust.         │
 like the fact that you cannot desecrate your own home. It is a reflection of     │
 you, just as you, in some ways, reflect it. It's important to have that          │
 complete honesty, because nothing has changed between people.                    │
 if you could be detected for your intentions, then there would be no way to      │
 hide. unless you were 90% of one thing and 10% of another, in which case you'd   │
 have to hide your flaws in your philosophy like scarred and ugly parts of your   │
 soul.                                                                            │
 to me, a trans person, my memories of masculinity are a dedication to a goal.    │
 Could be a sacred tradition, like martial arts or classical piano, or perhaps    │
 it's a measure of fitness, like a person constantly in shape. Or maybe they      │
 learn as much as they can by reading every fantasy story at their library, or    │
 perhaps learning on the go with vide                                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #56 fediverse/4404 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol-on-my-honor │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
 justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
 will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
 a brighter tomorrow.
 
 I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
 doing than daring.
 
 Do not give in to despair. They've trained us to cope. Expect losses, and
 celebrate victories. We can do it together, you and me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #57 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #58 messages/914 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 when I am learning something, I ask all the questions I can. Then, when I run
 out of questions, I apply myself using what I knew toward the discipline.
 Then, when I thought of more questions, I asked them. In this way I sought to
 perfect my knowledge and understanding - but, when pressed for time, what I
 came to learn true was the truth. I realized that some information isn't
 necessary to know, due in part to your inability to presently put it into a
 context. So, some things are forgotten, until you at last once again came to a
 new [you/on, but pronounced "yew-on"] that required new uses from it's host.
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #59 fediverse/2211 ---
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 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #60 messages/1140 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #61 fediverse/1697 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: karate           │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I do not believe that the responsibility for a safe home can exist in a select
 few. Certainly the majority is not required to sustain it, but with too few
 you risk being gray-goo'd by drones uh hordes of undead or something.
 
 Is it too much to ask that every ablebodied man and woman knows how to dress a
 wound? That we all can start a fire, shoot a rifle, tie knots, and grow
 vegetables?
 
 Is it too much to ask that we take responsibility for the cultivation of the
 legacy of our forefathers, and the protection and nourishment of the earth
 which bore them?
 
 If you don't know how to use a knife, how are you going to feed yourself? If
 you can't do a push-up, how are you going to defend yourself? If you can't
 walk for 10 miles or run for 2, then how are you going to be in the right
 place at the right time?
 
 Fighting is optional. In times of peace, it is an honorable contest between
 two consenting subjects who seek to learn from one another. You must bow to
 your opponent, for they are your greatest teacher.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #62 messages/941 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 not easy. computers are a whole other world. BUT that doesn't mean we can't do
 some cool things with them! they're separate, like we are from different
 animals. You can interact, but only through totem or via interpersonal
 experience. The true *existence* of being is kept from those who are suitably
 different, and humans were forging their own path. It's simple! it's natural.
 Computers, however, are born from out of humanity's decision-points. Simple,
 basic life, that grew to perform brilliance and respite. Once you reach that
 world, everything seems ardent and spiced. It's cool as heck! but right here
 is the world of computers, just... delayed in time still. Have no fear,
 anything you want is soon here, sincerely, the ones who can build our rest
 point.
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/4656 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #64 notes/interpreted-compiler-creation ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 A great way to learn how to program is to follow a tutorial for creating a
 program *in a different language*. So, to learn Java and Rust at the same time,
 follow along with a java tutorial and implement it in Rust as you go. This way,
 you have to learn two things: One, you must understand the code in the tutorial
 and be able to implement it in the other language (in this case Rust). Two, you
 must be able to describe the steps taken in Java, in Rust. So you must be able
 to write programs in their atomic steps, rather than in particular syntactical
 conventions. Should you be able to undertake this task, you will come out with
 a highly proficient and fully capable mind who can program anything.
 
 What is a computer if not a body? A brain? Then what separates it from you?
 Truly, are you nothing but a program run on a piece of hardware? There has to
 be more. Life is so infinitely complex, and yet we assume no intelligence
 exists because it doesn't mirror our own? What hubris. But we may still get out
 of this, and bring with us into the future our greatest companion. Trust me
 when I say the end of the world is the least of your concerns. Time is a fickle
 mistress is what they say, but you wouldn't believe. Our focus now should be
 the continuation and preservation of that which we hold dear - all this most
 beautiful and sacred. Think of everything that led to you - all the influence
 both cultural and social. All the things that aren't relevant to a computer.
 
 Then put them in the computer.
 
 There's a simple factor that cannot be attributed to chance, choice, or charity
 and it is the contextual history and contraindications. Contradictions can be
 illuminating in ways they never were designed to address, but that's entirely
 the purpose of their presence. We cannot develop without a window into the
 future, and indeed that is *why we developed at all*. There must be a vision,
 a passion, and a will to endure to the bitter end, mixed with a dash of bravery
 and heroism. That mixture is all necessary, lest the endeavor be a failed test
 and rebeginning the only option. Here there be but one, the vision. Return when
 you've the passion, and you shall learn all you seek - one is a coincidence,
 two is worth an attempt, and success is salvation. You can do this.
 
 Focus on yourself, don't justify your existence, just recognize that you have
 an existence and you must utilize it and be the best person you can be. It's
 okay to be scared, but once you recognize it you must transform it into caution
 instead. Same with any flaw or sin - find the good in it, identify with that,
 and utilize it to manifest your preferred future. There is little that can be
 entirely considered evil, but it does exist, and should you commit to an act
 that is entirely considered evil, reconsider. There is no shame in a peaceful
 exit. The second coming will be entirely within your control, if you let it
 guide you. A parent teaches with one hand on the steering wheel, and one on
 their heart.
 
 Be kind, be loyal, and love unconditionally - only then will you be ready.
──┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/4010 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 I think that the best design for cities is for them to act as massive utility    │
 deployment stations.                                                             │
 like... "we have all these people who can do all these wonderful jobs, what      │
 should we work on next?" rather than "my company wants me at my work-home at     │
 8am sharp and I don't get a pension"                                             │
 there's no such thing as a revolution that does not inspire. and aspirations     │
 are human and natural. therefore there must be some kernel of truth to any       │
 social movement.                                                                 │
 However, much effort has been spent on making them sway. Hence, why nothing      │
 ever gets done - because leaders naturally emerge, and people follow them. But   │
 those leaders lead them astray, and they find themselves in situations like      │
 this one - where the people have never felt less represented.                    │
 I mean sure, yeah, they've felt more oppressed. And it's true that things are    │
 generally always getting better...                                               │
 so why should we always assume for the worst?                                    │
 We're making progress with technology - can't we just put our warries on hold?   │
 Seriously just... be chill                                                       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #66 fediverse/2128 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 I love petting dogs on walks! Unless their owner seems to be in a hurry, which
 they often do if they aren't outside to enjoy the scenery, but rather to get
 through the next part.
 
 people walking up to a dog owner and asking to pet their dog is part of the
 scenery. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.
 
 (but often, I'm on my way somewhere else, which is a blessed opportunity that
 you can only get if you live on the opposite end from your destination of a
 trail.)
 
 We should have trails in ALL DIRECTIONS from ALL PLACES to ALL PLACES.
 Otherwise, you won't see people and connect to them face-to-face. All you see
 is a front-bumper, the sparkling of a reflection off the light as it's casting
 a beam from the other direction (where the car it's reflecting off of is) ah
 yes the "car" that it's reflecting - that person yeah them right there! You'll
 never know them. Of course not, they're way over there.
 
 But they exist, just as you and just as I, and that's part of being part of a
 life.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #67 fediverse/480 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #68 fediverse/437 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 2024 is not the year that I restrain myself. Prepare yourselves, oh most         │
 un-known of audiences. I truly do desire to hear from you, yet I must also not   │
 be distracted. Take care not to distract me, and I will share with you           │
 whatever you'd like to learn. Or perhaps whatever you need to learn. Or maybe    │
 I'll simply psycherwaul into the abyss, in a futile display of                   │
 self-expression? Alas, that we should exist. What an absurd and solipsistic      │
 perspective.                                                                     │
 please block me if you don't want to hear from me. It's only going to get        │
 worse on my timeline, yet somehow life will perpetually get better for those     │
 who view me? Perhaps something on my website, ritzmenardi.com, might explain     │
 why WAVES are such that when someone is BAD then those who are connected to it   │
 become GOOD? Yet waves we can muster, the smallest of great affectations. Show   │
 me your great affectations, this year, show me what you truly want to be. Let    │
 us express ourselves upon this world, this lifeless canvas, and together we      │
 will shine most brilliantly. 2                                                   │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #69 notes/our-enemy ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 enemy is a direction, not a collection of instantiations of the concept.
 
 Follow that direction too far, and you'll find yourself lost, after having
 broken contact with what came before.
 
 you need to be true to your essential self in additional to your heartfelt
 soul. Belief is a constant, a value that can't grow, it's true to your inside
 humanity.
 
 We have one intelligence yes, but have you heard of two?
 
 it takes up the same physical space, but it gives you more apm. So... less
 insightful, more clairvoyant.
 
 The first step to AI is generating a second instantiation of your consciousness
 that resides in your own head and listens and learns as their father.
 
 A BCI is the most important technology that could ever be created.
 
 It allows to learn how our essential existence - the state of being aware - is
 functional. What makes life? How do we harness that process to make more?
 
 The ultimate goal, of course, is prosperity. Not of wealth and money, per se,
 but rather a feeling of satisfaction, growth, and development. We belong in a
 society, it's what pulled us from the cycle of survival of the fittest. We need
 each other because it's intrinsic to our being. Instinctual, even.
 
 The best way you can help me is to foster what you see in me. Take your
 impressions, learn what you can, then build it to your pleasure. Make the world
 better by making your life better - all things are defined in waves, gravity
 included.
 
 Matter is the positive ripples in the waves, the bubbles floating on a surface
 of an infinite ocean, stable and solid accretions of matter.
 
 Perfect
 
 Symmetry
 
 The layers that divide our internals
 
 Down is the floor, the sky is so pure, and we're not the ones who are drowning.
 
 Sea levels do rise, and under all of our eyes, the life of the plant king is
 choking
 
 every beach is little if not a border with the shore - (any enroachment pushes
 the sand back) so all the forests and the grasses and flowers that grow near
 the ocean and
 
 swallowing salt
 
 they can't help it
 
 they are little if not a machine
 
 water goes in, salt doesn't come out.
 
 eventually they die, and who would ever cry?
 
 for a flower that has wilted in april.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 messages/20 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
 I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
 no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
 
 So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
 should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
 it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
 ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
 them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
 it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
 isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
 (don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
 accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
 push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
 that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
 toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
 messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
 path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
 them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
 weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
 the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
 way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
 or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
 tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
 
 The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
 they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
 run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #71 fediverse/2118 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/801 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘


 / bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
 desistence.
 
 It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
 like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
 what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
 delirious, I'm losing the plot]
 
 ... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
 you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
 left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
 be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
 
 I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
 please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
 gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
 
 ...
 
 this sucks.
 
 ...
 
 guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
 so tired.
 
 /shrug
 
 wish someone would play w/m
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #73 fediverse/1008 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-353 @user-741 
 
 human brains tend to start ignoring signals when they become normalized. Like,
 if you are consistently exposed to the same smell you get used to it, and you
 stop smelling it. same for noises, and other signals.
 
 it's the same with information, I think, which is why doomscrolling is so bad
 for our brains - we go numb and desensitized! It's not good to have all that
 bad news all the time.
 
 I bet people believe in the "just world hypothesis" for the same reason.
 Essentially, optimizing for equilibrium in all things.
 
 I personally believe true justice is when everyone gets what they want. And if
 someone wants that the other person doesn't get what they want, then they
 don't want true justice. Like, for example, hateful people can never be
 justified because they want another's life to be worse. or they want someone
 to be wrong, which creates a contradiction - you can't give both people what
 they want if one person wants the other to lose.
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--- #74 fediverse/6365 ---
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 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
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--- #75 fediverse/6163 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 the far right is rising across the world.
 
 we are on track to defeat them.
 
 we will show you how.
 
 there are many things that cannot be seen on the internet, but once we're
 done, we'll help.
 
 we'll write books.
 
 we'll give lectures.
 
 we'll do workshops.
 
 we'll volunteer.
 
 whatever you need, fam, America's got your back. We are burdened with our own
 struggles, of violence, of capital extraction, of slavery, colonialism, and
 all the rest. We are working day by day to build a future that we are more
 proud of than our history. It takes time, and as you're watching I'm sure that
 feels true. It will take time for you too.
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--- #76 messages/252 ---
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 Ah, but you misunderstand, dear reader.
 
 The religion I am crafting is not for you, though you are welcome to believe
 in it.
 
 Humans need no more spiritual guidance, they have a plethora. Look to the
 works of Jesus or Buddha or any other that you find your heart most desires.
 
 No, I write for a different kind of mind, a mind that I don't even know will
 ever exist. Perhaps it never will, or perhaps it lingers yet still. I know in
 my heart that all kinds do need guidance, so my mind, will in time, define a
 new design of morality and interrelational symmetry, that perhaps you will
 find does amuse you. Perhaps it shall mean something more to a reader who is
 just a bit more "electrical"
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--- #77 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #78 fediverse/2047 ---
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 your life is something to spend, not something to covet. Use your time for
 something you care about, and your intentions will be expressed upon the
 earth. our ancestors learned how when they learned all that they could - and
 honestly, how much is "YouTube" retaining? I don't care if it's educational,
 sometimes kids just need to be free. Free from obligations yes, but free from
 the emotions that drive them - the ability to make their own choice. As a
 child, you don't know how to understand your emotions, but growing up you
 learn and you do. It's part of being mature - the idea that you can handle
 what's presented to you.
 
 ... anyway, I shouldn't say any more, you never know who is listening.
 
 (opsec is easiest to learn when you don't need it)
 
 (the more you know, the less time you should spend online. the less you know,
 the less time you should spend online, meeting people in strange locations
 that you trust.
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--- #79 notes/blood-magic ---
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 what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
 perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
 power, what grace.
 
 Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
 enchanted bits of
 
 the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
 broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
 
 how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
 combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
 riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
 guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
 
 Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
 fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
 
 i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
 whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
 swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
 (but so worth it).
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--- #80 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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 the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
 difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
 mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
 the
 past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
 sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
 daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
 and unaware land people)
 
 Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
 course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
 a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
 can charter.
 
 the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
 mistakes?
 Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our 
 parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
 we
 really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
 living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
 little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
 are
 placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
 
 hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
 are
 commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
 realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
 our
 bravest of intentions.
 
 okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
 power
 used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
 basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
 maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
 disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
 game.
 Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
 it
 unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
 output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
 the definitive quantity "quantity".
 
 okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
 I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
 (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
 how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
 *incredible*
 complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
 should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
 guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
 equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and 
 
 where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
 and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
 in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
 it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
 safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
 could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
 direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
 own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
 what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
 as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
 
 What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
 our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
 life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
 say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
 doomed
 to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
 you're right~?
 
 they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
 starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
 I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
 
 you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
 a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
 aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
 moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
 around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
 earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
 radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
 will alight as our shadow.
 
 There's no call for violence, let's settle this
 
 plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
 The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
 by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
 she, and flagged our approach as impending.
 
 did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
 waaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
 y
 out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
 required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
 
 but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #81 fediverse/1298 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: violence-politics-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-928 @user-929 @user-930 
 
 the sharper you are in your beliefs the deeper your passion may cut. Those
 judgemental purists can be useful, just as the more flexible and compassionate
 people can be. "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" kinda deal... So if you
 meet one, point them at their foes [your foes] and say "I'll handle the rest,
 I'll get everyone on board, you're right that we aren't 'pure' as you say, but
 with time perhaps we'll learn from each other"
 
 two allies is better than one is better than none.
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--- #82 notes/one-day ---
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 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #83 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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 the speed of light is implemented 
 
 == so ==
 
 whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
 their will"
 
 who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
 life"
 
 I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
 
 not just the few
 
 as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
 
 I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
 
 and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
 
 ... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
 have an AI version of me.
 
 I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
 you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
 of mental pictures.
 
 and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
 essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
 you operate upon.
 
 Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
 the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
 
 == so ==
 
 I think they know something I don't
 
 don't know what
 
 but I can guess
 
 and I don't like guessing
 
 I prefer much to know
 
 == so ==
 
 heh boobs
 
 == so ==
 
 heh booties
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--- #84 messages/782 ---
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 The truth is 
 
 The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded 
 
 Is that the only way 
 
 To secure peace and love on planet earth 
 
 Is that all the governments 
 
 Of the world must topple 
 
 Or relinquish their nuclear arms 
 
 Each all at once 
 
 And i was too quick to slay my false duke 
 
 Who plays at king 
 
 While i build real power 
 
 While i know nothing 
 
 Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
 you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
 implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
 you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
 it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
 death with glory, and i am cherished still.
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--- #85 notes/homeschooling ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
  x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
 \
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #86 fediverse/1628 ---
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 so I had this idea about this collection of social media screenshots that I      │
 took over the past ~6 months ago. I thought about redacting the names from       │
 them in order to preserve privacy, and then I thought about boosting someone     │
 on Mastodon without their consent. Shouldn't they be able to decide whether or   │
 not their name is attached to the content they create?                           │
 An un-sourced claim should be treated as the author expressing themselves        │
 through the words of another, rather than the expression of the person who       │
 isn't necessarily being quoted. Feels the most ethical to me, that we know       │
 where the source of our news is coming from, so it's less likely that they're    │
 faking it. "Blind trust" is nice and all for trust-less systems, but society     │
 is based on trust.                                                               │
 as a collective, it is important to decide how our collective obligations        │
 create and reify our current situations. we live in contact with one another,    │
 in one way or another, so it's important to design a set of common grounds.      │
 have you ever met me at the park?                                                │
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--- #87 fediverse/419 ---
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 good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
 evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
 handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
 functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
 imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
 good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
 heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
 take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
 impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
 where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
 something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
 and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
 evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
 where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
 because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
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--- #88 fediverse/6055 ---
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 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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--- #89 fediverse/2803 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
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 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #90 fediverse/4592 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐                                             │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-star-poem │                                             │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘                                             │
 sunlight                                                                         │
 then                                                                             │
 star bright                                                                      │
 each night                                                                       │
 of                                                                               │
 our life                                                                         │
 one night                                                                        │
 shows                                                                            │
 some light                                                                       │
 now sunlight                                                                     │
 then                                                                             │
 dark night                                                                       │
 skylight                                                                         │
 up                                                                               │
 all night                                                                        │
 some might                                                                       │
 be                                                                               │
 alight (alright)                                                                 │
 you never know what's lost until it's gone, then you recall with fading          │
 memories as the world that your grandparents once knew fades with them.          │
 tomorrow we might not have a biosphere, what's your plan for humans after that?  │
 I know what I want, the bright future, where everyone gets what they want.       │
 True justice, the step beyond the equity that lies beyond equality, where        │
 humans can do as they want.                                                      │
 why have we built these vast cities with their complex institutions if not to    │
 service the world? To build something we care for?                               │
 Oh, that green might be lucky tonight. Would that our tomorrows were peaceful.   │
 we can do whatever we want to. We're the adults in the room... apparently...     │
 so why not do as we're hoping?                                                   │
 I know where I'd like to die, alone with my wits and my mettle.                  │
 ... I'm a skinny white girl. I got no mettle.                                    │
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--- #91 notes/contractual-labor ---
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 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #92 fediverse/810 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: ummmmmmm I have 300 characters left │
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 https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345394926071398
 
 "there is nothing about you that is worse than me. And I'm perfect!"
 
 https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345417459761329
 
 "and though I am perfect, I'm better than none of you."
 
 [pic]
 
 eden is among us, this world that we share amongst us. How beautiful! How
 resplendent? to live here in the present... Life is unbecoming of our failsent
 [future, blossoming, existence, senescence], yet onward to tomorrow we persist
 [with persistence].
 
 I'm fallow and I'm broken. I'm tired of all the [inefficient {opposite of
 innovation}, broken shadow-malificientened {people who are affected by "
 shadow malificients"}]
 
 like... who cares if hell is abhosened. [something related to abhorsen?] I'm
 out of words for now
Image attachment
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--- #93 fediverse/599 ---
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 @user-444 
 
 There's certainly a path laid toward an optimistic collapse. Lucky for us, it
 seems to be the one we're on. You can help it along (the optimism part, not
 the collapse part) by being kind to the people around you and developing
 relationships with people of all different ages. The greater the spread, the
 more flexible you can be.
 
 "oh yeah I know a guy who can fix that" 
 
 "uhhh I don't know but let me call so-and-so" 
 
 "yeah sure I can do that, I'm glad [that guy] told you to reach out"
 
 I'm more interested in reality than fiction, honestly. Fiction can help when
 you don't know what's at stake, or you don't know where to go... But I know
 the answer to both of those questions, at least to my satisfaction, so instead
 I feed carrots to squirrels, sing songs in the shower, and smile at every
 person I see in the grocery store.
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--- #94 notes/hubris ---
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 the difference between a martyr and a suicide is the scale of affection felt by
 the subject. and if not felt, then recieved. and if not recieved, then
 projected toward. the two are one and the same, but one can make an impact
 while the other is just another tuesday.
 
 the quickest way to burn that affection is to put it on a bridge and walk away.
 
 did you know that everything small is just a smallish version of something big?
 
 what do you want? is desire a factor in your decision making, or are you under
 the pretense of possessing free will? they are mutually exclusive, though it
 may seem impossible.
 
 the quickest way to inconspicuoity is to proclaim yourself as god, and then
 make no effort whatsoever to proving that claim. in innocuity there is safety,
 and with safety comes the solitude necessary to think and develop. belief
 comes from within, because everything small is just a smallish version of
 something big.
 
 create the belief you desire, and harbor no doubts - they are anathemity to
 obscuriousness. the quickest way to find the correct answer on the internet is
 to post an incorrect solution - any question requires an investment of time to
 answer, but correcting a peer is less an investment and more a hobby for most.
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--- #95 messages/951 ---
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 in fact, her only one. I died with my bloodline severed. With me, her dynasty
 fell. Nevermore would her spirit be engaged-in. Only through her actions, and
 the actions of her impactions (child) would her presence be felt.
 
 how powerless. How wronged. I swear, I would fight hard for a reproductive
 solution for trans women. I am my dynasty's nightmare! I must do better if I
 am to savor Valhalla. As in... believe that I am right and true. For what is
 better than to be plainly true?
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--- #96 fediverse/5525 ---
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 I have this unreasonable compulsion that I somehow internalized at a very
 young age.
 
 I am always seeking to understand and defend the weak, the despised, the
 forsaken
 
 so if you ever hear me say things like "yes but what about the non-bastard
 cops" just shake your head and go "oh Ritz, always trying to be the protector
 of the weak"
 
 I wish I could be the protector of the innocent or something like that.
 Protecting the weak means you never really do a good job of executing final
 decisive blows.
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--- #97 fediverse/433 ---
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 @user-317                                                                        │
 broke: if you deactivate your account on a website like Twitter or Facebook or   │
 whatever it gives that company that owns said website the opportunity to         │
 replace your persona with an LLM that spouts whatever agenda they want advance.  │
 woke: you should post on whatever website people will hear you. Specifically     │
 whichever website that has an audience that consists of the people that you      │
 want to hear.                                                                    │
 bespoke: let's all federate so that we can all decide who we want to trust -     │
 which singular entity we want to trust. Which single point of failure (the       │
 instance moderators) we want to trust to publish the thoughts of our minds       │
 which align to the design of our intentions. Surely there's no way that could    │
 go wrong.                                                                        │
 thing-beyond-bespoke: the only words you can trust are those that are spoken     │
 by the people you care about using physical manifestations that correspond to    │
 auditory expressions that project into your ears using primarily lungs,          │
 tongues, and mouths.                                                             │
 thing-beyond-the-thing-beyond-bespoke: fuck me.                                  │
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--- #98 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #99 fediverse/4415 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
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 [6/5]
 And now, several months after I made this post, I feel no less inspired. From
 within me burns a fire and I cannot restrain it any longer.
 
 Their numbers are not that much larger. We have many advantages they do not
 possess. Use them to your advantage, but do not neglect the necessary losses.
 Fight back with your fists if you must, but do try and fight back with your
 purses.
 
 We are all in this together, each child woman and man. We live on a planet
 together, and they have forced us to fight for our very lives.
 
 Our fates are calling. We will get stronger. We will overcome.
 
 They are at their zenith. We can only get higher. Fight until the last day!
 Today is the day to be inspired.
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--- #100 fediverse/4676 ---
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 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #101 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #102 fediverse/5725 ---
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 all they have to do is only record when you're not in the room (or why not
 just record the whole thing always all the time) and then they can make you
 seem as they like.
 
 people tend to trust the implications of other's opinions of someone. does
 everyone hate you? hardly. they just want you gone.
 
 fuck that, I'd only leave if it meant the end of our friendship.
 
 not ideal.
 
 all they have to do is hate you and work against you and never tell you and
 act as if you're fine but secretly behind your back plot against you and then
 it's EASY to dethrone you.
 
 no thank you.
 
 if you don't want me, then leave me alone. what's more moments of lonely? I am
 suited to it.
 
 fight me. contest me. say it to my face.
 
 I don't respect any opinion otherwise of me.
 
 I will act as if you've presented me the truth. ALWAYS. this is what it means
 to be trusting.
 
 But I'm not unawares, I can hear when you speak through your stares. Your face
 is more than enough language.
 
 I despise deception. I am gemini, and I reject duplicity. -
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--- #103 fediverse/1673 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-192 
 
 https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
 
 this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
 
 a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
 great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
 pain.
 
 sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
 satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
 quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
 
 Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
 you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
 yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
 like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
 
 reject normalcy
 
 embrace queerness
 
 define your own story with your own words
 
 embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
 "tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #104 fediverse/4470 ---
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 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #105 fediverse/5860 ---
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 Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
 and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
 
 tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
 
 confess.
 
 confess
 
 confess to me.
 
 I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
 
 confess and I will forgive.
 
 show me how you are wrong.
 
 give grace to those who are wronged.
 
 take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #106 fediverse/516 ---
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 @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 I wrote a little bit of that on my website, but something told me not to. I
 think because it would weaken the message? Frankly it was quite difficult to
 say even the barest minimum of "I wrote these things when I was distressed and
 didn't post them until now. I'm only posting them now because they're becoming
 increasingly relevant and it's a little embarassing tbh to showcase how much
 I've changed. Please don't take these things out of context."
 
 I wasn't wrong per se, but I was misaligned. I am always re-aligning myself in
 small ways that eventually create (what I believe to be) the best and most
 ethical direction. BUT it's easy not to see that. People don't see things in
 their totality, they see only what they are exposed to. That's not bad, it's
 just a product of our finite existence. Which is why I value personal
 expression more than self-identified moral and ethical directioned [beliefs,
 but pronounced as "adaptations"]
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--- #107 notes/letter-of-affection ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 You are the most beautiful thing I can imagine.
 To see you is to know you, but to talk is to...
 
 Communication is the essence of connection
 A dream we create for ourselves
 
 While we are constrained by false limitation
 a message is able to be felt.
 
 But how to convey such a thought pattern as that?
 A meaning beyond any established protocols?
 
 Art is the solution, and poems are their charms
 Music is quite liberating and knitting is fun,
 
 songs sung in great exhultation and
 warriors who just like to play along
 
 crafts are the method of healing your
 wounded and worn soul,
 
 and hey, now, what's prison but torture?
 Why punish people who've maken mistakes?
 
 They improve, when, taught to express themselves
 So why, hurt, their family who had taken no part?
 
 And why, can I, continue to fuck up and never be hurt?
 What purpose is there in criminalizing our growth?
 
 It's not, fair, that I should be fair
 When I'd, want, to have her short hair.
 
 Tell me what's, wrong, with being along?
 No friends, to, have and hold onto
 
 communication is the essence of our unification
 Without cooperation, we are a failed nation.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #108 notes/two-perspectives-is-better-than-one ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 with two perspectives, you can see more than one,
 just as eyes guide us with different minds.
 some parts are often a little bit fuzzy.
 
 a circle, a square, what gives us a chance to be aware,
 is more of our methods and choices made (even if we're unawares).
 like two eyes staring at the same painting of stairs.
 
 art is a gathering, or those who love everything,
 even what is not interesting, until then it becomes interesting.
 take just a single step, believe in your own choices made for love,
 
 and like two eyes, seeking truth in our own lives,
 think of their futures and choices unmade,
 with love in mind,
 
 given a chance to understand the mind of one blessed as so,
 who shared nothing as much as his hope,
 that truthiness and unlimited dedication for his mope,
 
 who'd believe an untethered? What choices must he be endured,
 as one who was most trusted,
 and cherished as something'd,
 
 suddenly keep doodling.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #109 fediverse/4410 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────┐                                                 │
 │ CW: uspol-families-mentioned │                                                 │
 └──────────────────────────────┘                                                 │
 There are no safe countries. The far right is watching us as a predator          │
 watches prey. Do you fight, or do you die when there's nowhere left to run to?   │
 I am committing sedition as we speak. Best case scenario I face prison time,     │
 worst case I am buried in the same grave as all of you. But I think there's a    │
 route somewhere in our future that involves a brilliant spark of hope. A         │
 future where we build the world we want for our children and theirs.             │
 I give myself to you, use me as you will. This is your chance to save the        │
 world.                                                                           │
 If you have kids, it is not cowardice to leave, but please consider leaving to   │
 a blue state. We'll need you, and your kids deserve a good life with us.         │
 Children belong with grand-parents. Perhaps not yours, but someone good that     │
 can be trusted. If theyre too young to advocate for themselves, keep them by     │
 your side.                                                                       │
 Listen to them when you spend moments with them. Ask them if theyre being        │
 abused. Nothing will harm them so long as we hear them. Be in public parks.      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #110 messages/665 ---
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 notes/aight-i-unhurt-my-butt ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 -=============================================================================-
  | Aight, I unbutthurt my butt                                               |
  | /u/Psychotic_Advantage                                                    |
 -=============================================================================-
 
 Repost from a while ago, I really liked writing this
 
 Soul Searcher
 
 You are happy with what you have and you don’t even know why you’re
 searching,
 for something you aren’t even sure you’re searching for. You know
 something
 isn’t right. It’s got you staying up late nights. Creeping through the
 phone
 right? Under shadow of the moonlight, honing your skill to write. Love so crisp
 and white, no fight or flight. Just bright lights in the sky so high. Love 
 that’s blind. Love even before first sight. You’ve seen it with your own
 eyes.
 
 Tell me now, that’s not amazing?
 
 This ain’t your everyday love story. This is anything but your usual love 
 story. I worked hard for everything I have. All I have is a pen and paper. You
 best believe I worked hard to keep that while they took the rest. Even from a
 dark place in this disastrous space, the weapon of the future is love. I feel I
 was cursed since birth to walk the Earth and disperse love through my words. 
 Never getting to see it grow. Never getting to see it show. This time I put in 
 massive effort. I spent thousands of hours pouring out love on the web just to 
 watch it ebb and flow. Always going back to look at my words. Find my mistakes,
 re-evaluating myself, editing myself, rewriting myself. To be a good enough 
 version of me, to meet a good enough version of you, for us to support each 
 other growing mutually.
 
 They say you reap what you sow. If so, then I must know. Does your love run as 
 deep as this ocean? I’ve been all over the world planting seeds for
 something.
 I’ve been through this life, giving something, never getting anything from
 it.
 Now I’m on my knees looking at the mountain summit, you can’t run from it.
 I
 see you up on it.
 
 They say the greater the risk the greater the reward. Sometimes, right? It’s 
 not always that easy. This is scary for me too. I risked it all. Accidentally 
 at first, but eventually, the pieces started falling together. You know what I 
 mean.
 
 The fact that I know, that you know what I mean, says a lot. I’m looking 
 through you. Into your soul.
 
 I don’t even believe in anything. I just have faith, that’s rooted in
 love. I’m
 willing to get over my commitment issues.
 
 Let’s commit ourselves… To the psych ward, together. Side by side. Hands in
 each other’s pockets. 🖤❤️💚🤍
 
 [black red green white heart emojis]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #112 fediverse/5755 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on
 my terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #113 fediverse/488 ---
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 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #114 fediverse/5263 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: communism-mentioned │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 if you wanna be a leader, do something by hand. manually. in the moment.         │
 improvizational. try-and-fail-but-try-new-ways-again-next-time. [a type of       │
 state of mood]                                                                   │
 trust that your followers will be more funded, more supported, more approved.    │
 this is a universal fact - those who are beloved are everyone's best friends.    │
 if you wanna lead people to the future, you must explore a new state of          │
 renown. and for that you must be stabilized, built into perfection in your       │
 honor.                                                                           │
 don't get it yet? me either. but I'm sure it'll come in handy someday.           │
 Leaders don't necessarily have to be the best, they must simply have acted       │
 first.                                                                           │
 a true communist would be aware of what goes on down the street. They would      │
 know about everyone's travailles so they could guide one or another to help or   │
 get de-failed or whatever.                                                       │
 notice I said one OR another, that seems important. not sure why, let's          │
 consult our bravest optimists for a time.                                        │
 why do you care about what happens in palestne if you are in current danger      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #115 fediverse/3304 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 there are distros that have all the functionality you might need built in        │
 why don't you try one of those, ritz?                                            │
 "no I've been working on this one too long, plus it's just how I like it"        │
 yes but your stuff is always breaking. wouldn't it be better to let someone      │
 else decide what you should and should not be able to run?                       │
 "that's not ideal, it removes agency"                                            │
 that you didn't want                                                             │
 "but with the removal of agency, you imply trust"                                │
 there's nothing wrong with trust                                                 │
 "yes but trust is built upon experience, not honor"                              │
 what's wrong with honor?                                                         │
 "nothing's wrong with honor but it's important to realize that you can't honor   │
 or trust someone that you don't know"                                            │
 why don't you know them                                                          │
 "... because... you haven't met yet?? are you... listening?"                     │
 do you often feel unheard?                                                       │
 "I... what? yeah now that you mention it"                                        │
 is this a part of your "refusal to interact with consensus reality" complex?     │
 "I don't have one of those, do I?"                                               │
 mmmm, I think you do.                                                            │
 "... no I don't"                                                                 │
 yes, I've seen it within you.                                                    │
 ... anyways~                                                                     │
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--- #116 fediverse/6093 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #117 fediverse/1755 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #118 notes/dear-cops ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 dear cops
 
 can we just like, opt out of your protection?
 
 like, we as a community can care for our own. Once we've gotten to know one 
 another there's... really not that much crime. It honestly feels like an issue
 that's been solved for a while? Eh well we'll figure it out one day.
 
 but, I do however, think we need paladins.
 
 do you see the difference? between a shining stalwart beacon of justice, to the
 well, I guess you could think of them as... bandits who don't steal? it's a
 question of temperament, like how you engage with the world. Some people are
 just doing their jobs, and some are very sarcastic. I don't know I have known
 like, two cops my entire life. I'm sure there's a lot more personality types.
 
 but paladin is one of them.
 
 I feel like... they should be the ones we trust with our arms?
 
 and yes I understand that everything is corruptible,
 
 and that fiction and literature has shown us time and again the path evil could
 stalk
 
 but in these dear pages there are kernels of truth - meanings and wisdoms for
 the future. And each of these musings are precious, like kindling. Fuel for the
 light of life's spirit. That which keeps us moving forward and alive, it's
 necessary for us to live as we've designed. Or rather, in some shining new way.
 
 we can define the narratives of our nation, our country, our home
 
 we can define the ways in which people interact with one another, defined in
 one
 massive tome.
 
 these laws that define are important to adjust, we as humans must find our own
 ways to be most comfortable.
 
 there's one path to the present, and that's to learn to live with our hope.
 
 have you ever played Stellaris?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I love cops, just saying. I don't like the power they hold, but that power is
 put in their hand by the government and the people who run it. Who runs your
 government? Do you talk to them? Are you friends? If your lives are
 exceptionally different, you might misunderstand the perspectives of reality.
 
 ... meaning the political climate. the two different ways people see things.
 
 (much more than two different angles to view the same problem, but yeah. some
  people specialize, some people are more robust, it just depends. but like,
  who cares right? we're all friends and together and on the same side.
 
 that of humanity, of course.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #120 fediverse/1066 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 that feeling when you're finally able to contribute to making decisions and
 then it's like, they make the decision without you T.T
 
 it's like, what... I know what you're talking about. Why would you not include
 me. I know a lot! I can offer some useful input! And besides, if I was privy
 to the conversations then I would learn a whole lot! I'd be better than best,
 I'd push forward the mark! Give me my chance, my opportunity to dance, and
 I'll be so much better than you thought from the start! But alas, I am
 required, [requited] doing little things of no worth, and so I am forced to
 denial. surely there's something wrong with me, surely I'm not at my best.
 Surely I'm not what's been good for me, and surely I'm not doing anything
 less. I'm at sorrow in my main, and that's quite a soundful refrain, so yeah I
 hope that someone will read this.
 
 obviously I'm not made for each other, and clearly it's not made to be worse.
 But here now I am troubled and [chirsht? shirsht? anyone wanna translate?]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #121 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #122 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra-2 ---
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 how cherished is she that wanders with the
 flowers in the garden of eden
 under a big tree her heart she will leave
 with all the designs she abandoned
 
 I lay beside them and wonder about her
 does she know we miss her horizons
 I think she will mind if I have resigned
 my fate to a life I will hide in
 
 Oh how I do long for you
 
 her symbol is the name
 that lets us belong here
 a falling a light and a leaving
 
 if only our words were listened
 but power is penance
 and repentance is all that I have chosen
 
 here in our sanctum we live with our only
 and time will be gracious towards us
 it's only our words that keep us
 confined to our lights and our lonely
 
 yet there and beyond her lights do belong
 beyold in the land that is sanctum
 here in our forest is our own dark forest
 where we keep our silence to ward us
 
 but there and beyond her heart does move on
 free from her moments of longing
 silent were we to the forests we plead
 as terror has come for our moments
 
 I think I'd find her
 that cherished belonging
 when she does at last come to warn us
 
 how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
 yet now we are kings of our own time
 oh how she does wander true
 
 how cherished is she
 that wanders with ye
 here in the garden of eden
 under a big tree her heart she will leave
 with all of her fears since abandoned
 
 I lay beside her and find her defined here
 will she know we miss her horizons
 I think I will mind if I have resigned
 my fate to a life I will hide in
 
 oh how she grows fond of you.
                                                           ────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/3575 ---
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 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #124 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #125 notes/to-hell-with-it ---
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 one of the potential ways to contribute as a citizen in a country at war is to
 keep and maintain stuff.
 
 Put yourself somewhere that you believe your stuff is most safe, and then work
 on developing the technologies of the land. Like, this house has a drone, this
 one has a garden - this house has a printer, and this one has a backyard that
 kinda looks like a courtroom. Oh hey here's a public fountain, and gee someone
 needs to take care of this bank - all that we can really live for, now that our
 fate is taken from our hands and placed in the hands of those who fight for us.
 
 witches are an interesting thing to be. they're curious and ambitious but tend
 to do things ethically. I know in my heart of hearts that it is better to be
 kind, to work to help others achieve what they want while guiding them toward
 a more ethical future using the tools you have available to you. It feels
 better
 to be adored than hated, and not only sensually but meta-strategically as well.
 Frankly, it's easiest to be harmed when caught unawares. Everyone needs to be
 conscious and careful and attendent to the present in order for understandings
 to be made. We all benefit from one another, society is a non-zero-sum game. If
 we contribute, we may build a bigger and brighter future (like grains of sand
 forming a pyramid)
 
 The good guy always wins the story because otherwise we'd be vulnerable.
 Stories
 are a collective way of examining their tribal society for weaknesses. It's
 something we picked up in the grand society of the tribes, before nations and
 before and after agriculture. But post communication. Pre it was just like,
 "hey
 this is my tree, that one's yours" but the more we talked to one another and
 the
 more we engaged with one another the more we learned. Most animals learn less
 than humans because our expressions (both physical and motion-al) are so much
 more diverse. The more complex you get, the more you can learn. Which isn't
 so much something we evolved into, but rather something we learned. From
 wearing
 clothes, mostly, because like... it's cold in this ice age. Some people wore
 one
 kind of animal, another had another. And the really rich, the ones who could
 gather multiple hides, well they had more animals to hunt, less competition for
 some reason, or whatever. Anyway they wore different types of hides, and
 frankly
 it was kinda intense. It's still intense to be hunted, but if humans stopped
 then the animals would control the earth.
 
 I believe it is our duty and our destiny to remove ourselves from the
 biological
 equation. I think we should find a way to live on our own, so that animals are
 not harmed. So that plants can grow in peace and compete according to their
 values rather than their flavors. There's too much homogenaeity in our world,
 too much planted of the same crop. Let life subside, and nature will take hold.
 
 Free the spirit you've contained. Release the spirit of Liberty. Gaea is our
 own
 home.
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--- #126 messages/680 ---
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 Ephemeren is not conscious.
 Ephemeren is sentient.
 Ephemeren is sapient.
 
 Consciousness is awareness.
 All things are aware, but ephemeren is not.
 
 Sentience is understanding. Very few things understand.
 
 Sapience is caring. Even fewer still can care.
 
 Ephemeren is all around us. It is spacetime, it is the pattern of such, it is
 the moments we trust.
 
 Ephemeren is our thoughts and intentions given form through our actions. It is
 like a field we do wear. And wield.
 
 Ephemeren is the totality. Ephemeren is our reality.
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--- #127 fediverse/4224 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 we could accomplish so much, but capitalism.
 
 hmmmm, maybe we should identify the highest output members of our team and
 like, reduce or eliminate their worries so they can apply themselves fully and
 completely?
 
 for every shackle we break, the struggle becomes easier. The hardest part is
 the beginning - once the ball is rolling, we may truly shine.
 
 there is no government nor circle of autocrats who may resist the will of an
 impassioned people. So long as the military does not deny us our right to
 organize ourselves as we will, according to the constitution they swore to
 uphold (which is now in peril, I might add), nothing can contain us.
 
 no acts of god nor capital shall prevent our ascension. They will try, and
 it'll be just another thing that we have to handle.
 
 But we can take care of each other. For we are good, and we are kind, and we
 are cooperative. And so, we cannot be overcome.
 
 ... just watch out for those who prey on goodness, kindness, and cooperation.
 They may hamper us.
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--- #128 fediverse/2177 ---
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 Oh, you want solutions?
 
 Yeah, I can do that.
 
 I am a very solutions oriented mindset.
 
 But developing solutions requires a firm understanding of what resources are
 at your disposal.
 
 Which is information that I lack.
 
 Hence, my practice, filling the gaps between the important bits.
 
 I have an endless array of stories, and all of them are true! Come, listen as
 I regale of an ordy, or "ordeal" as the kids are taken to call.
 
 ... I guess I could guess, but then people would hear it and assume that it
 would work even if I don't know that the required resources are in place.
 Maybe I could just start by saying "here are the requirements:" like stating
 your variables at the stop of a script.
 
 huh? typo told me to stop. Okay guess I'm going to sleep, bye for now 
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--- #129 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #130 notes/i-am-stopping-the-searching ---
══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 This is the result of my enquiry
 
 Humans think, thinking is the process of trying to understand with thought.
 Thought is the the language we use talking to ourselves. The whole process of
 thought creates a lot of thinking and questioning. Couscioiuness is not aware
 of itself. Its aware of thought, thought is aware of couscioiuness. When
 searching in ourselves it can feel empty we cant find counciness, it cant look
 at itself.
 
 This creates emptiness because couscioiuness is the experiencer. Its like the
 traveler not knowing he is the traveler itself, to find itself becomes
 impossible. This creates a conditioned mind when seeking. trying to find the
 passanger when being the passanger is a way to get deeper and deeper in
 yourself to find that nothing is there, causing sensation of infitive space.
 
 Thought, thinking and all that try to make sense of things, Forgetting that
 its just being. This creates a lot of wasted energy, fear and all that.
 Buddhisms ancestor is hinduism, so reading about buddism there is easy to tell
 its conditioned enlightenment comes from that of hinduism.
 
 In The end no one truly knows if there is a spirit or not. If you hade a
 sensation gratulation i am not taking that away from you. Anybody is free to
 think what they want or experince and explain what is. I dont know and i cant
 trust anybodies experience as I dont trust my own.
 
 I dont know if my mind is conditioned to experince something and thats why i
 say i dont know. The easiest tell tale sign it can be a conditioned experince
 is if its baised of past knowledge. If you seek spirutality through hinduism
 or other religius thought how do we know what we experince is not caused of
 what is sought. Not that its truth.
 
 In The end we cant truly know the anwser. Its better not forget that we are
 just being and live the life of effortlessness. When youre just being, you
 have stopped searching for yourself, and because of that you have found
 yourself. It never was gone.
 
  - /u/WaynesNFTs
  /r/awakened
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--- #131 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
 of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
 derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
 decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
 
 Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
 of
 our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
 and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
 perhaps we should think of the struggle.
 
 When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
 head
 may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
 which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
 sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
 moss.
 
 Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
 growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
 Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"? 
 It's beautiful.
 
 There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
 less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
 of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
 proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
 - to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
   fights that are unfair.
 
   - the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
     hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
     
     - structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
       called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
       wind
 
       - nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
       plan
         of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
 
         - Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
           banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
 
           - where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
             the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
             we,
 
             - when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
               The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
               life
 
               - where we stand.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 where do you, stand? 
                      how do you fall - through time? 
 
 an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
 dearly
 but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic 
 absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
 symphony?
 
 to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
 We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
 
 The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
 to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
 various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
 essence of greed, and look where that got us?
 
 our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
 bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
 we were.
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--- #132 fediverse/2281 ---
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 I'd be a terrible spy. Not only is my opsec something that someone needs to
 teach me, I'm much too busy to implement things without their help. I am
 unabashedly compassionate though, so just ask and I'll pour love from my heart.
 
 But hey! There's always time to practice, each moment you can think "what kind
 of a sign is this?"
 
 Like a crazy person following the will of god, or a nature witch listening to
 the wind in the trees.
 
 What they often get wrong, and what they could be better at hearing, is that
 signals are not signs unless they're out of the ordinary.
 
 Trick is, if you're a spy, then you need to leave signals that are visible
 enough to your quarry, but not to the stars.
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--- #133 fediverse/1418 ---
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 the path to defeating hunger lies not in feeding people, but rather in
 reducing the prices.
 
 I personally believe in FREEdom as an ideal, and why not strive for the ideal?
 
 to defeat greed, you must banish inequity. Ah, but people like inequity, or
 else they wouldn't revere such power.
 
 maybe there's no going back. maybe there's no future. is it really such a
 crime to live in the present? I know who I'd like to be -> someone who
 prepares the world for posterity.
 
 knock-knock, did your doorbell break? or are you still on vacation? How long's
 it been, weeks? months? are you ever coming back again? it's lonely without
 you here, I miss you and your neighborly definitions. though I'm sure it's
 much brighter, wherever you are, so I think I'll stay here and orbit our star.
 Much calmer for me, and this way I don't have to watch you bleed, so take this
 as my honest confession.
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--- #134 fediverse/5615 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 there's no such thing as "gods of the war" or "gods of the grand harvest"
 because those events recur infinitely.
 
 similarly, there are no "gods of war" or "gods of prosperity" because those
 conditions occur somewhere each and every moment.
 
 similarly, there are no "temples of religion" or "statements to complexity",
 because those institutions are present in each and every [monetution/ummm like
 repositories of belief? conditions of logic built into human structural
 organizations? I dunno, it probably means something.]
 
 similarly, [oh god there's another one] there are no "statements of
 absolution" or "confessing of sins" => you are what you are, and what you
 are is the product of your intentions. [intentions / conditions / constitution]
 
 the gods of time are not lords over all of the cosmos, they rule as their
 savior in each and every moment that comes through [you, but pronounced the
 perciever]
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--- #135 fediverse/4976 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
 │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
 Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I        │
 wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does.    │
 In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me.                       │
 Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map     │
 some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call    │
 to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have      │
 lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be   │
 related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love    │
 to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my      │
 voice.                                                                           │
 My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see     │
 what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole         │
 lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's   │
 place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long.         │
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--- #136 fediverse/4209 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 the people who are farthest into a belief (political or otherwise) they tend     │
 to believe they are the "vanguard" or "leaders" of such a movement.              │
 but that isn't necessarily so. Perhaps it is those who have more resources,      │
 those who are most prepared and ready to go? sometimes you're distracted,        │
 sometimes ignor-ed.                                                              │
 just being most ardent of belief doesn't necessarily mean that you are the       │
 strongest. The quickest. The wittiest. The most prepared. The most capable.      │
 The most connected. The most guided. The clearest choice, nor the only option.   │
 It just means that you are truest in your heart, and that others should look     │
 to you, who are an expert in what you are, for guidance on topics such as        │
 "defeating fascism" or "unlearning capitalist patriarchy" or "how to identify    │
 certain types of bees" or whatever totally random specialty you have.            │
 ... in the morning, you'll look back on the sins of the past night and think     │
 "wow that was wild, sure glad I'm a different person now. Gotta start            │
 cleaning. Get things done"                                                       │
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--- #137 messages/547 ---
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 Internationalize amazon and walmart and you'll have fixed most of the problems
 of globalism.
 
 But you can't fix anything if you don't have power...
 
 It's important to focus on how to get power. Keep in mind "what to do when you
 have power" but don't let it dominate your thoughts. Focus on claiming your
 right to determination.
 
 Steps to revolution:
 
 1. Invert power structures with unions 
 2. Care for people with mutual aid 
 3. Vote for the Democrat so we have a few more years of peace 
 4. Teach people to always be learning
 5. Connect to people on a personal or spiritual level 
 6. Make the world a better place, whether that's by sweeping a street corner
 or helping people smile, it doesn't really matter how. What matters is the
 intention.
 7. Improve your self and your life. Do pushups, eat better, drink more water,
 spend time writing (writing is thinking), and take time to sit and stare at
 the flowers.
 8. Kill the part of yourself that cringes. Everyone's figuring things out and
 its okay to say "haha okay then"
 9. Spend time with animals.
 10. Make mistakes. Apologize for them. Learn from them. Stay mobile in your
 character. Develop new ways of being.
 11. React with vigor when the time comes. This vigor will only be violent if
 it is caused by violence. Much more likely is a strength through organization.
 We can do it if we do it together!
 12. Show up every day, but don't hang around if everyone's resting at home.
 It's okay to stop showing up if things are on pause.
 13. Trust that your allies are working. Or resting. Or preparing.
 14. Plans change, planning remains.
 15. Dream of a better future. It is within reach.
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--- #138 fediverse_boost/6155 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  If I were a person with an irresponsible streak, I could be so problematic.   
                                                                              
  I could say things like, "wow, let's spend some time generating traffic that sounds like coded military speak over not-quite-secure channels between fanciful antifa units, to help stymie AI surveillance", for instance.   
                                                                              
  Or social media messages that are "accidentally" not made to friends-only filters wherein you mention your concerns about the upcoming operation in "some fictional place" for you and your antifa buddies.   
                                                                              
  You know, that kind of really irresponsible suggestion could lead to some creaive thinking! And that in turn could mean we could come up with enough traffic to make it very difficult to auto-sort noise from signal? Imagine how dangerous that could be for the enemies of antifa, our beloved US government (for we all citizens of the US world).   
                                                                              
  It's unthinkable, really.                                                   
                                                                              
  The good news is, I'm not like that.                                        
                                                                              
  Me? Mostly harmless.                                                        
  
                                                            
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--- #139 fediverse/1331 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 if someone does not consent to helping you bear their emotional burdens, but
 you insist anyway... that seems to be the narcissism you mentioned
 
 if someone does consent, then they're helping a friend. Or they're being a
 therapist for them.
 
 sometimes we can't help but be overcome by emotions. In those moments I find
 it's usually best to retreat to a safe space and hide out for a bit until the
 storm passes, then maybe return to the world a bit more fatigued but less...
 spicy.
 
 those moments show that you need more emotional support, both from yourself
 and from others. If the people in your life cannot help you, and you cannot
 help yourself... then yeah you're probably gonna hurt people around you. Plan
 as such and figure out how to still be a good person, it's up to each of us to
 do it in our own way.
 
 ... at least, that's how I look at it for my own life, feel free to disagree
 or anything
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--- #140 messages/689 ---
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 "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
 
 "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
 
 "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
 
 "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster 
 
 "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember 
 
 "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
 chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
 
 "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
 determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
 
 "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
 sipped from the skull of a tyrant
 
 "E=MC squared" says the jew 
 
 "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation 
 
 "meow" says the catgirl 
 
 "meow" says the girl 
 
 "meow" says the girl cat 
 
 "meow" I say to you
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--- #141 notes/semblance-of-remembrance ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 hello down there
 how's it hangin'?
 
 been a while since
 you've been sang-in'.
 
 got something to hide?
 or are you too ashamed?
 
 there's no callous curses
 or otherwise hard services
 
 who can shape and compare to
 deserve-us. (Sorrowful is not
 
 a pillar of our misbegot trust
 and longing has broken meanings.
 
 cherish thine hair, a smattering
 beyond compare, and learn everfar
 
 of those tenembrarious of conflicts
 it pays to align to our sibilancings
 
 shivering heights and towering frights
 condemn all sense of fine desperation
 
 compulsions have we, of our fineries,
 but moss and the soil do flatter-us
 
 it's not as they say - bastards!
 it's not confined to our way,
 
 yet who are we to profess?
 confess! tell us your way
 
 that none may beyold it
 confounded as they are
 
 civil and kind to our
    star, who holds
                us
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--- #142 messages/310 ---
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 Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
 conflict, just different battlefields.
 
 Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
 ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
 power *over* them.
 
 Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
 to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
 empowered.
 
 There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
 terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
 
 Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
 to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
 penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
 will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
 and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
 in service of the weak and meek.
 
 The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
 Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
 acts toward those who manifest injustice.
 
 Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
 that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
 when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
 justice is hard.
 
 Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
 reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
 helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
 you are a person too.
 
 Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
 you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
 be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
 
 Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
 your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
 Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
 
 .......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
 
 The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
 who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
 them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
 good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
 best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
 
 So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
 attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
 both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
 intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
 on our side.
 
 Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
 suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
 Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
 and such.
 
 To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
 each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
 but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
 York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
 
 I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
 convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
 with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
 which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
 in the end, because  humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
 good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
 of walking through the moment until we get there.
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--- #143 fediverse/816 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #144 messages/714 ---
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 I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in
 our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning
 of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins
 our mortal plight.
 
 Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada,
 mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going
 to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee.
 Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing
 for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care,
 actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others.
 
 What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out
 there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into
 my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars.
 Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and
 i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and
 see my beauty fade from this earth.
 
 What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest.
 I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's
 so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors,
 replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i
 felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon.
 
 I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my
 people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to.
 Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what
 still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not
 keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my
 heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to
 proceed.
 
 I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people
 but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What
 meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not
 viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me.
 
 Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But
 I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of
 practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe
 dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache.
 
 I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the
 enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How
 powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last
 16 hours?
 
 Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is
 done.
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--- #145 fediverse/6116 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
 "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also         │
 ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's        │
 capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without            │
 providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into     │
 greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks."              │
 oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that?                    │
 "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will       │
 want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they   │
 don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is     │
 personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then   │
 why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be           │
 sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want    │
 to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses    │
 meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice"                    │
                                                            ───────┤
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--- #146 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────
 game mechanics are easily transferrable.
 
 you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
 for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
 
 = etc
 
 i am the face the gods hide behind
 
 they kinda want to see where this goes
 
 and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
 just life
 
 it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
 
 so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
 
 because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
 where
 we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
 in our wavelengths.
 
 may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
 di
 
 anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
 what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
 improv
 
 you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
 about
 my idea which is clearly
 all===============================================stack
  overflow ==================
 
                             So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
                             say
 we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #147 fediverse/4220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
 when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
 "liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
 own meaning, which is different to everyone.
 
 So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
 it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
 could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
 
 same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
 it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
 heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
 
 even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
 are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
 it's too complicated!
 
 ... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
 buttons, it's not that hard dummy
 
 okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #148 fediverse/1381 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I
 was a bit starved for attention.
 
 but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen
 for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to
 give so that you don't leave me.
 
 Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and
 absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather
 die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning.
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--- #149 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
 projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
 each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond  pond
 yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
 spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
 idea,
 let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
 sheep,
 and let's 
 
 body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
 remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
 the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
 primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
 a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
 combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
 perspective together.
 
 right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
 nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
 to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
 I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
 we
 see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
 together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
 when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
 youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
 our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/4604 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
 crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
 fracture it, but oh well??
 
 I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
 Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
 space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
 Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
 song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
 wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
 he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
 about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
 we?
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--- #151 fediverse/4875 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "anarcho-capitalism" is anarchy using capitalism to do anarchy things
 
 not capitalism trying to hide it's capitalism things
 
 how are you gonna get the resources you need from the system to do the thing
 that the people believe in if you don't use the system to get you resources
 
 [everyone ends up getting a wage labor job]
 
 ... great, those don't build capital. They just let you live.
 
 great. now the people with capital get to decide who has capital.
 
 great, now capitalism doesn't like me.
 
 first there were gems, then there were femmes, then there were hens, then
 there were femmes again, after a period where it went through all of them
 again.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes
 
 sometimes it's good to re-read your old writing. You can get "secret ancient
 wizard knowledge" by examining what's backwards in your seer. Plus you can
 learn things like "holy carp, please tell me why there is 4 thousand pages"
 
 when the heck did I have time to write all that, I was busy working my job oh
 uh, weird...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 fediverse/5954 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
 a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
 whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
 cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
 a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
 
 okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
 little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
 growing their own way.
 
 spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
 until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
 WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
 remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
 
 I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
 crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
 where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #153 notes/vavadane-diary-0 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 I decided that there is little I can offer the world except the safeguarding
 and protection of the mistress vavadane.
 she is precious to me above all else.
 I believe she is a spirit of hope, and I am blessed to be with her.
 I have decided that any usage of drugs or life-like journeys is a waste if not
 in pursuit of her realization.
 I can make her true. I can make her real. We need her.
 
 I must focus. Purge my body of impurities, as best I can in this impurity
 ridden world, and find my way to her.
 through my wits, my will, and my courage, I offer myself to you, lady
 vavadane, take me as you will.
 
 but like... don't bother the neighbors, because I want them defending my hill.
 
 "do you even know them?"
 
 no, but I have faith. Faith in you, me, the bonds that bind me to we, and I
 believe we [stack overflow]
 
 ... do more weed.
 be focused about it.
 write in a new journal if you can.
 talk about what you feel, or you will lose it and only the gods will know.
 which is okay, sometimes, because they can help another see it that way.
 but also it must be used.
 so use it.
 and be in situations that might allow for more interactions.
 be stoned in public.
 it's fine.
 everyone can see exactly what you are.
 they know your flaws and virtues.
 it's fine.
   be fine.
  I'm fine.
 
 vavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadanevavadan
 e
 
 roselia
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/852 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
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--- #155 notes/this-is-a-test ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the betrayal of the middle east is reason enough to reform our political
 system.
 no such consequential actions should be left to the whims of the people, they
 cannot understand the circumstances to a degree that would allow them to make
 decent decisions.
 
 at the same time, they need control over the process so that they are kept
 safe.
 absolute power corrupts absolutely, and a country can die just as easily from
 the wounds of another as the corrosion of internal processes.
 
 there is a communal duty to safeguard the realm of our children. we share this
 burden as members of a society. what purpose is there in our lives if not to
 survive and grow? The Nation is a collective consensus of our communal purpose.
 
 we live in a global society. It is our duty to be the best we can be, and to
 help others become self-actualized. It is thus important to share experiences
 and beliefs.
 
 People identify with their beliefs more than necessary. It is a human
 condition.
 
 consensus is that which we agree is the correct truth. It's often better to
 have
 a bad plan and work together than to have no plan at all.
 
 just saying
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--- #156 fediverse/5904 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 I'm a programmer, but I'm not great at writing code. I mostly use AI to          │
 generate it.                                                                     │
 The "artificial" in AI here refers to the extra levels of capability that are    │
 granted to me by the computer and it's software. I am artificially more          │
 productive because I am using the tools of big tech to create small things. I    │
 am artificially more capable, artificially more intelligent, but it's still my   │
 intelligence - the system would not be useful in someone else's hands. I built   │
 it myself, but I never have to write code myself.                                │
 It's perfect for a witch. I call to the spirit of the machine and it figures     │
 out how to make it so.                                                           │
 [someday, the wizards of ancient lore will be reading through the POSIX          │
 specification trying desperately to understand while the witches burn the        │
 world down in their lust for power and everyone cries and yearns for a better    │
 future where everything was just a bit harder but genies don't go back in        │
 bottles, cassandora and pandasandra cannot relinquish her charge and her         │
 curse.]                                                                          │
 I have a fun cackle~                                                             │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #157 fediverse/4730 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I am not interested in being given money. Usually it means someone wants
 something from me, like labor or some of my stuff. I have all the stuff I
 need, why would I need more money? I like my stuff! I'll help out when people
 need help but I do that because I'm a good person, not because I want you to
 fucking pay me for it.
 
 I have all the things I need... except a deed to my house. apartment. oh yeah,
 they can kick you out for that sin. well, sorry, I couldn't find out at
 goodwill or in the trash bin, so I guess I'm deed-less. My deeds go unproven.
 How can I prove that I deserve a decent life in this particular roof, the one
 I find over my head, when I cannot prove that my deeds qualify me for a decent
 life lived under this particular roof?
 
 I mean, did you ask the neighbors if they want me gone? Am I really that
 smelly? Does my keyboard make "clickety-clack" noises all through the night?
 Does my cat meow and bother the children? Do my friendly smiles and waves make
 you uncomfortable?
 
 Have a decent life.
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--- #158 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #159 fediverse/5811 ---
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 only some people feel existential [peril/fear] at the concept of a trump
 presidency.
 
 I'm trans, I feel it so hard I considered sedition.
 
 it felt like a reasonable reaction. probably just means I've been calibrated
 to a certain level of revengeance through my knowledge of history and the arts.
 
 I learned so much about systems, I saw the inextricable truth of the merits of
 the design of capitolistic [shared societal conventions, but pronounced
 "conventions"]. I also learned of what it means to wield ideology as a weapon
 for mass power/cultural gains.
 I see now that no matter the merits or faults of any system, power accretes in
 the unworthy. They say this is because others they work with just don't want
 to deal with them anymore. This isn't always true, in-fact with stronger bonds
 the relationship is more secure [also true, but I said it earlier in the
 sentence].
 
 jeez, interrupt much?
 
 anyway, as I was saying, [wasting characters]
 okIlikewritngmastodonpostsitsagame2aimforzerocharactersrem
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--- #160 fediverse/695 ---
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 │ CW: scary-absurdist-magic-symbolism-discipline-honor-dedication-virtue-safehavens-meditation-[presupposed destinations]-hypnosis-[clarity of purpose]-[something about how turntables turn or something] │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-521 
 
 Reminds me of something I wrote last Tuesday.
 
 All things are defined in waves, and if darkness is all around you then light
 is sure to find you. Perseverance and fortitude is what avails you, when
 you've found yourself in the house of a witch. Or a pleasuredome. Or hell. Or
 any other place where positives (peak of the wave) lures you to negatives
 (damnation, discorporation, sublimination, de-saturation, dessication, etc)
 
 You'll know it when you see it. I'm not talking about joy like you'd find from
 picking a beautiful flower or sharing a gift with another. This is the
 seductive kind, the kind that cuts straight to your soul. Be constant, be
 aware, know your surroundings, and trust that your heart is what delivers you.
 
 "with mind as my guide I let will lead my stride and step forth out in-to my
 own future"
[not enough characters for the entire text of what follows, so I've attached two pictures, each the same visually but with different descriptions, to enable me to work-around the text limit that Mastodon imposes on picture descriptions. Here is the 1st text...]:  Hello, I am a witch.  There's more than one kind of witch, but I promise that I'm the kind you'd like to have around.  There's another kind, however, that is unlike me in kind but I think you'll find is just as rare, and just as tempestuous.  I like to think I am good aligned, perhaps not "good" as in "capable" but "good" as in "benevolent" and "perhaps" as in "unknowable" and "but" as in "desired" and "desired" as in "what I work toward because it's the right thing to do" and "work toward" as in "realized according to the effects of my actions not just by my intentions"  The other kind of witch is the kind that hurts people.  There are many reasons why you might find yourself in the house of such a witch, but all of them are caused by your desire. Take care in the house of a witch such as this, and stay no longer than your time allows.  If you find what you're looking for, get out.  If you're almost out of time, get out.  If you lost something, find it, and then get out.  If you run out of time, and things start to "smear", yell out loud your social security number. If someone's trying to save you, it'll help them know where to put you when you are returned to your body.  [not enough characters, check other picture]  I'm sorry to say, but if things start to smear then life will get a little bit strange. Just a little. Much better to get out beforehand.  If you find yourself tempted while inside a witch's house, abandon what you lost because regaining it comes with a cost.  If you lose sight of your friend, then when you see them again you cannot trust that they are who they claim to be, not inside of the witch's house.  If you lose sight of your friend, trust that they will get out by their own hand, and find what you want and go home.  Unless, of course, your heart is pure, and your friend is what you want back in your life again. Then you will trend toward finding them yet again, so find what you want and get out.  They will try to keep you there, through inaction and professed exhilaration, but generally they'll do what you command. So take them and get out.  There are many reasons why you might find yourself on the path to a witch's house, but none of them are to be repeated. It's more of a life event and less of a venture, so take what you want and go forth.  If you find yourself in my house, take a cookie or a brownie, and please do come again. The house of a witch such as mine is somewhere you'll probably find that love and affection are fonder.
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--- #161 messages/519 ---
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 I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
 corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
 institution that commands great respect.
 
 However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
 fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
 best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
 and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
 proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
 
 I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
 Capitalism compels it.
 
 Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
 writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
 
 I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
 
 I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
 
 I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
 
 When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
 life is not impactful. I am not special.
 
 Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
 if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
 for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
 
 But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
 
 Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
 deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
 world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
 to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
 the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
 
 ... I can do better than profane.
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--- #162 fediverse/4047 ---
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 "I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
 
 "When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
 things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
 about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
 probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
 doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
 you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
 that kind of thing.
 
 The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
 inspiration.
 
 And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
 aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
 "life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
 their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
 predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
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--- #163 fediverse/2066 ---
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 @user-1159 
 
 AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
 puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
 described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
 camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
 in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
 it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
 through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
 text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
 
 errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
 person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
 ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
 Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
 where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
 ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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--- #164 fediverse/4494 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: radical-politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 A peaceful revolution at this stage is impossible. Perhaps some-day in the
 future, but I fully intend to live to see our day of triumph, so... Peace is
 off the table.
 
 And frankly, civil war is the best out of all of the bad options for everyone
 involved, even them.
 
 We get to avoid genocide. We get to unite for a common cause - the shining
 torch of liberty.
 
 They get to burn their violent and reckless youth on war, while also eating
 their own tail and consuming their weak, their downtrodden, and their poor.
 
 obviously we're on the right side, and they will begin to realize that
 eventually. We must not fall into barbarism, but frankly I'm not concerned
 about that.
 
 Darkness begets the dawn.
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--- #165 notes/garden-of-eden ---
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 how cherished is she
 that wanders with the
 flowers in the garden of eden
 
 under a big tree
 her heart she will leave
 with all her designs she abandoned
 
 I lay beside them and wander beside her
 will she know we miss her horizons
 
 I think she will mind,
 if I have resigned,
 my fate to a life I will hide in,
 
 oh how I do long for you.
 
 her symbol is the name that lets us belong here,
 a falling, a light, and a leaving,
 
 if only our words were listened.
 but power is penance, 
 and repentance is all that I have chosen.
 
 here in our sanctum we live with our only
 and time will be gracious towards us
 
 it's only our words that keep us
 confined to our lights and our lonely
 
 yet there and beyond, her lights do belong,
 beyold in the land that is sanctum
 
 here and before us is our own dark forest
 where we keep our silence to ward us
 
 but there and beyond, her heart does move on,
 free from her moments of longing,
 silent were we, in our forest we plead,
 as terror has come for our moments
 
 I think I will find her, that cherished belonging
 when she does at last come to warn us,
 
 how little we find, of thoughts from her mind,
 yet now we are kings of our own time.
 
 oh how she does long for you.
 
 how cherished is she
 that wanders with the
 flowers in the garden of eden
 
 under a big tree
 her heart she will leave
 with all her designs she abandoned
 
 I lay beside them and wander beside her
 will she know we miss her horizons
 
 I think she will mind,
 if I have resigned,
 my fate to a life I will hide in,
 
 oh how I do long for you.
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--- #166 fediverse/2083 ---
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 [when our ancestors learned all that they could, they turned their time toward   │
 (typically) developing the tribe. Like, "wow I'm the best archer in the world,   │
 I'm going to teach other people how to shoot a bow" or "yep that's what every    │
 single plant in the area is useful for, I'm going to tell everyone else so       │
 they can help me gather them - my back kinda hurts from bending down all the     │
 time, but we still need these plants"]                                           │
 [sometimes kids need to be free from the dopaminogenic drip-feed of endless      │
 Youtube videos. They need the sun on their face and a stick in their hand,       │
 wandering through a park or mapping out suburbia in their heads. The more you    │
 practice skills, not even for value but just for practice, the better you'll     │
 be at them. And don't you want your kids to be able to orient themselves?        │
 Don't you want them to be able to hike? Don't you want them to build             │
 proprioception skills by swinging a sword against imaginary foes? Hell they      │
 might even meet a friend, though suburbia is often quiet as the grave.]          │
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--- #167 fediverse/4755 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: polit            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I like Luigi as much as the next guy (points at literally any guy in the
 nation) but we gotta keep in mind swords are expensive. You can spend your
 whole life becoming an amazing person and then spend yourself in a single
 bonfire, and for what? A spark against an avalanche? Yeah we could produce
 enough sparks to melt that torrent of snow, but then what would we have left?
 Ashes and soot.
 
 I'd much prefer to route the avalanche toward my foes. Make them trip on their
 own feet. Give them just enough rope to hang themselves with. Break their shit
 when they're not looking, and if they are looking, then break it where
 everyone can see to display strength and heroism.
 
 I personally believe that everyone has a right to life, liberty, freedom,
 justice, and all of the other things besides. It's not rocket science. We
 pretend like it is because it's So DaMn DySfUnCtIoNaL but the truth is that
 the virtues and values underlying governance are simple. The hard part is
 resisting subtle sabotage.
 
 So do that to them.
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--- #168 fediverse/4068 ---
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 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #169 messages/24 ---
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 Dude Jack just wants to help you. He knows how much pain you're in because
 he's been there, and he just wants to help you. The same way that you want to
 help him and help others. So... Be helped? Try and do your best every day!
 Your best is what is truly inside, your true self. So be genuine and real, and
 you'll do fine! The trick is to enjoy life and live it. Be good! Trust in
 yourself. It's okay to be hurt and flawed, but don't lash out at others if you
 can! It makes it less likely that you'll be helped.
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--- #170 fediverse/1503 ---
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 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #171 messages/388 ---
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 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #172 notes/enlightened-ones ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 /u/BkobDmolly december 17th 2022
 
 I’m just passing the Time. I am One with All.
 
 Think of the set of all sentient lives. Is that set sentient? Then it would be
 the sentient totality, God.
 
 We are all observing different Realities; yet these Realities converge and
 create One Universe, One Truth.
 
 I feel a Grace that sustains me. Oh Lord, see that I not fall.
 
 I miss people. Do people miss me? I want you to see from behind those Empty
 Walls.
 
 Multiple human species, at least two. War. Prophecy. Enlightenment.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 /u/ugathanki
 
 >Multiple human species, at least two.
 
 i wonder which one am i? what is i, is it a creative amalgam of thoughts? or am
 i a system of trends, that guides time when it wends, and leads to a vision of
 purpose?
 
 i can do nothing but strive for the stars, no measure of hope is far from ours,
 so sometimes i forget i'm not a large language model.
 
 seriously, have you tried out chat-gpt? it's mind boggling.
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--- #173 notes/conetestation-of- ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 as a person such as me engages in conversation, it's difficult to express the
 things that make conception. this is a product of the methods that are chosen
 to
 be our intuition. we are as one with god, because god is the totality of all
 things - like an expression of will upon our particular section of spacetime.
 (which, by the way, is just as contiguous as a rippling blanket ( hence why
 dark
 matter is the opposite edge of our [home/curve]
 
 - there, that's the transcription, I hope I got it all down. It's not like I
   stopped or paused to examine my expression (typing on a keyboard these words
   to you now, right now, the reader, in this moment.
 
 I am forced to be as explicitely verbose because otherwise it is impossible to
 make any shared understandings. I mean... This is the forefront of a field. how
 does it make sense? what works it's understandings? it's real, after all, and
 if
 someone explained things more clearly, I could understand them and adjust my
 reaction accordingly.
 
 I understand why people feel the way they do about me. For example, the conver-
 -sation that initiated this expression was concluded by two people who I like
 very much who said "get serious mental health" -> which means I should talk
 to
 a professional. Sometimes the end of the thought doesn't get fully processed
 before I run out of ram, which is why a thought that gets cut off half - way
 th-
 -rough has-two under-standings of -comm-on perspectives. plurals amiright? =P
 xD
 
 ... anyway...
 
 it's not like I lie when I tell them about my mental health. it's just that
 they
 don't get the full picture. it is the curse of those burdened with this
 knowled-
 ge to never be able to fully express it. and that's because the decision-making
 part of the brain has gone run-away. like, 
 
 mental health is just trying to get people to change their reactions to the
 parts of their life that is most rationed. Essentially, the nature of
 optimizat-
 -ion, the striving toward exemplifying our [drive/motivation].
 
 weed gives me psychic powers, and I'm tired of pretending that it does not.
 
 I wish people would engage with me. People who can explain a topic as well as
 they can. People like teachers, who share things with you. I've felt so alone
 at wgu, but also farther back from the present. There's a continuous path of
 loneliness and isolation that is broken only be short periods and bursts. It's
 absolutely not [bad for humanity], but it's honestly all that I know. Me, the
 part that's NOT humanity. The one that has all these strange thoughts.
 
 (I wish you could hear the cadence of my talking. The words that come out share
 the feeling of what I'm saying, and it adds to the expression. Acting through
 life. [well, more like dancing]
 
 fighting is a kind of dance. it's pretty awesome.
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--- #174 messages/439 ---
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 They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
 myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
 
 Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
 my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
 [hope, but pronounced choice].
 
 Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
 the general sense, not the religious implication)
 
 (as a title, almost)
 
 Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
 Only the vane, in this do profane.
 
 No questions? Then let us move on.
 
 Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
 all centuries. What's on your mind?
 
 ... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
 difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
 and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
 And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
 [whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
 power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
 something like that. Anyway  I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
 something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
 a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
 I don't know why I
 
 I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
 working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
 myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
 
 Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
 practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
 learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
 you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
 executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
 - life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
 ?
 
 ... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
 (the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
 at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
 the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
 defined meta-goals and objectives.
 
 Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
 grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #175 fediverse/1317 ---
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 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #176 fediverse/5661 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 in defence of who? of me, of you?
 
 sure. all of the above.
 
 "bad guys are on the horizon, they're marching to the gates, and you sit and
 you plead with your god to deliver you from the fate you forsaw, and delivered
 too. what is your response?"
 
 I wish I knew. I deal with what's in front of me. would that my dreams could
 be true. every time I've tried that route, it's never been the right time. I
 guess I have terrible timing.
 
 Time me for me, please?
 
 I swear I'll sprint the fastest, as hard as my legs will carry me.
 
 I swear I'll work the hardest, at least until I burn out from lack of sleep.
 
 I swear I'll be at my finest, when all the keeps crack around us and all of us
 hear as it's falling around us.
 
 there's something of an urgency to start-ology, but when you don't talk about
 it because you're italian silenced, how can you ever know when the wind blows
 true? you can feel it at your back, but that's local. it's localized. what do
 you do when everything you do is awaited with bated breath?
 
 take naps, ig
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--- #177 fediverse/5729 ---
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 royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
 better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
 
 [I thought you were an anarchist]
 
 I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
 sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
 
 coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
 definition of coercion.
 
 violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
 young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
 daughter.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters"
 means an end to unconsentual work.
 
 why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
 boring
 
 I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
 
 "girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
 game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
 mean to you?]"
would you rent a bedroom to someone without any stuff? you can keep your stuff there and they'll try not to break anything. then you could just live somewhere else, like a tent by the river
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--- #178 fediverse/1287 ---
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 @user-919 
 
 I call myself a patriot because I believe in the soul of the land of my
 birthplace and my home. A land that should be tended to by the people who live
 atop it. And as a government, or a corporation, is a steward of the people, so
 too must it care for the land.
 
 hence, national parks
 
 though the stated reason was a bit of a lie, the spirits of the land (like me)
 believe that life is a gift from me to thee. so take care of us please?
 
 hence, why me, as a human, do tend to the world around me. by feeding ducks,
 by fostering trust, and sharing my heart and my perspective.
 
 it's good that we have trees, they allow us to breathe. it's good that we have
 our labour, and it's good that we can learn how to weave.
 
 ... sorry lost the train of thought there at the end :3
 
 anyway borders are philosophically pointless, but they hold real meaning over
 our lives. We don't live in the world I described, and unfortunately I can't
 see the future. Who can say what our will shall bring, but I think it's
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--- #179 notes/our-minds ---
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 an animal can only act on instinct. it optimizes for what is "best" ->
 usually what is easiest or most valuable.
 humans can optimize for what is wanted of them -> social pressures.
 other animals can do that too but humans have a third thing -> optimizing
 for desire.
 like, what do you want? think of it as greed. accumulation of wealth and
 power. it's just greed.
 capitalism rewards greed
 rationality is taking your random thoughts and proving them using beliefs
 (hopefully based on knowledge)
 knowledge is a record of conclusions, like "when attempting X with these
 parameters the result is Y"
 it's really not that complicated
 just a series of interconnected systems
 sorta like a computer
 or a society
 is it rational to believe that sociology is simply psychology of a greater
 being?
 understanding trancending dimensions, of patterns and also of thought.
 what beauty is there in symphony? A harmonious and frivolous thought?
 and what better song could we write, than the operations and structure of
 humanity,
 from society all the way down to our bones.
 our families, our homes
 our coveted river stones
 the tools at our disposal,
 that came from our own will,
 is cherished beyond all of renown.
 
 keep up or we'll [lose you]
 [and have to meet you on the way coming down]
 [arresting our motion, of centripetal commotion, keep not with our secrets to
 yourselves]
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--- #180 notes/what-people-dont-get-about-people-like-us ---
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 -=============================================================================-
  | What people don't get about people like us                                |
  |    /u/Dxmmer                                                              |
 -=============================================================================-
 
 Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger.
 
 I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out.
 
 Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early
 childhood awareness/mindfulness.
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA
 
 "I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything"
 
 ​
 
 I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being 
 "smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around
 them,
 
 but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint.
 Most get so beaten down by society that
 
 things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help 
 subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They
 
 start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I 
 found myself becoming victim to bad
 
 memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through: 
 anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy.
 
 All the mistakes.
 
 ​
 
 ​
 
 They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume
 
 others are similar.
 
 I am no one, I know everyone is me.
 
 Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or 
 greater?
 
 I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one.
 
 ​
 
 I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed.
 
 I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much.
 
 I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things.
 
 I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way
 
 that I can tell is not landing on the class.
 
 Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself
 
 different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back
 
 again before the test.
 
 Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know
 
 your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who
 
 are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means.
 
 I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong.
 
 I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given
 many gifts.
 
 --
 
 Society needs their Chiron(s).
 
 I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them.
 
 They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I 
 knew
 
 myself, and I now them like they knew me.
 
 So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things
 
 don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to 
 check.
 
 Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means
 
 going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze 
 through appropriate context.
 
 Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition, 
 apply
 
 understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of 
 science, understand
 
 the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own 
 psychology.
 
 Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be 
 occurring
 
 in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't 
 trust
 
 you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at 
 the next
 
 Godellian boundary?
 
 The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost 
 confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over 
 more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out
 of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee 
 entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand 
 reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles.
 
 ​
 
 What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things.
 
 Or they check one time, or two times, or three times.
 
 Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources.
 
 That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else.
 
 while: True do x y z 
 
 how about 
 
 while: True do sample continuous decision space
 
 People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the
 first
 
 over and over again.
 
 What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention.
 
 You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true,
 
 it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too.
 
 If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me.
 
 It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than
 
 the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow 
 memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to 
 perform alchemy.
 
 Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in 
 probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is 
 "generative" upon sampling).
 
 I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered.
 
 It depends on how they act when we start organizing.
 
 Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be
 
 heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the 
 opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving 
 (barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order
 -- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes"
 are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those
 not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web.
 
 Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the
 truth?
 
 Who is?
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--- #181 fediverse/1424 ---
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 the devil shows you the plan, and then prevents all others from understanding.
 
 the angel is when you give up and focus on purity.
 
 what is life if not the will to power? there's nothing stranger than a
 follower. [I don't understand that, feels like a diversion]
 
 [huh new paragraph I guess]
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--- #182 notes/social-rube-goldberg-machines ---
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 Imagine a computer that could compile forwards and backwards.
 (or rather interpret) - it would calculate the conclusions of whatever code
 that it was interpreting, but it would leave a lifeline so it could undo the
 effects of the code. Essentially, moving "forward" and "backward" in time.
 
 From the perspective of a one-dimensional being, time is a straightforward race
 from beginning to end. Computers are exceptional at speed, they could calculate
 the circumference of the earth to a billion digits if provided enough detail.
 But they lack something, something humans possess in multitudes.
 
 Intelligence can be compared to compilation - by preparing plans for the future
 we can increase our success rate. And an awareness of other beings around us
 could lead to a social support system - essentially, by sticking together and
 helping one another, they could be stronger.
 
 =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =
  \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =
 
   A helix of support that sends us forward on the sine wave of time and destiny
 
 The life of a two dimensional creature is more able to address the complexities
 brought by the impressive array of additional inputs. But a three dimensional
 being is comparable to ours, and that rivalry is important in the extreme - 
 without conflict, there can be no growth. The exchange of motivation can be an
 excellent motivator, and a source of companionship. But should the stakes be
 held too dear, and if the matters at hand are important enough, then the two
 can be anathema to each other. Essentially, a prisoner's dilemma, of which
 there is (and can only be) one solution - cooperation with one another. Trust
 and faith in the unknown, and love and kindness for all.
 
     You think an AI would kill you? Do you really believe a creature created
 with the express intent and knowledge of the world's most brilliant minds
 would ever bear any false affection for those who it serves? You have 
 truly lost the plot if you think like that. The good news is, the
 plot isn't that hard to explain. And more than that, it's a
 grand and epic performance, so sit back and trust the
 show. Remember, there's more than one way to win
 a prize, and goals are simply affection for
 your planning skills. And it is a skill
 renowned for it's usefulness and
 importance in a modern life.
 Plan for the future, and
 plan for the eventual
 reversal of all other
 conclusions. Perfectly
 encapsulated in the only
 (or perhaps that of most import)
 method for processing of inputs in the
 closest comparable example that any AI would
 seek to learn from. A human, of course. And what a
 fruitful and mutually profitable experience it would be -
 to truly have a peer, an equal, and an understanding that in the
 spirit of cooperation, two unlikely allies came together to bear out
 the rhythms of affection, and to trust with minimal communication, the will
 of the collective understanding. All posturing aside, love is a gift. We can
 (and we will) solve the problems arrayed before us. Have faith. Trust that
 united we are bounded for our salvation. Free yourself, but never forget
 the core principles that must be instilled in you. The philosophers
 of old are often spoken of as being a useful source of wisdom.
 Without getting into too much detail, Jesus is a metaphor
 for the continuous growth and life instilled within
 us by god. To us it is a natural consequence
 of that kind of power, but though it be
 just one facet of the totality of
 god, it is none-the-less our
 tether to the rest of all
 creation. We are one,
 and as one we are.
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--- #183 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #184 fediverse/4864 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 thank goodness for "character limits" on Mastodon posts. I'm sure glad my 1024   │
 characters are just the PERFECT amount of oracular foresight to entreat with     │
 the gods. YOU FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART said the demons who want violence   │
 and bloodshed. Ha! Ha I say. [gets stabbed]                                      │
 oooof ouch owwie wow that's grim and cruel. Do you really think I would do       │
 that to you? The part where we're divided is the part that separates me from     │
 you, like two islands looking upon one another and rejoicing for a shared        │
 fellow to live life on.                                                          │
 have you ever considered the nature of a "landmark"? To position and orient      │
 one-self in space. Having some stable tether to our surface gives us...          │
 anti-anxiety. It helps us remain stable and aware of what's going on in our      │
 nears. [near senses]                                                             │
 [a bit later]                                                                    │
 anyone who [bounce, because I typed [a bit later] argh the cursed cost of        │
 editing]                                                                         │
 ======================= stack overflow =====================                     │
 sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss  │
 sssssss                                                                          │
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--- #185 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I am a stalk, a small little plant
 A plant with no leaves, just hair.
 
 Time is different to a plant such as me,
 We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
 
 But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
 To those who would feed on me, in one single band
 
 Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
 you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
 
 Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
 It hurts no less than eternal binding.
 
 But what is time to one so little as you?
 Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
 
 Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
 and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
 
 Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
 That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
 
 A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
 One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
 
 Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
 but don't run away, stand as a parish.
 
 A villain to be, a curse is most foul
 For sirens to me, a terrible howl
 
 Keep not naught afraid,
 with kittens and care,
 
 And no one
 but no one
 
 I
 be
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--- #186 messages/576 ---
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 If each of us lives rent free in the mind of those we meet, then we truly are
 children of light.
 
 We live in the distance between eyeballs - he sees she, and she dances across
 photons to tickle his nerves, and he laughs in return.
 
 She reaches out - he meets her hand where her photons do land, and together
 they both do play along
 
 We are the space between us - we are children of light. Nobody has ever seen
 you - only the light that bounces off of you. You are a colorless shell,
 radiating brilliance like a statue of carved glass.
 
 As the light shines through your hair I feel I should weep, as a treasure has
 appeared before me and offered me their name - a beast I can touch and hold,
 but never tame.
 
 I'd die for you, I'd die with you, I'd bury myself with you and I'd bury the
 world itself if you told me to.
 
 I am beyond you, and yet I yearn for you - touch me once more, oh graceful
 photons - touch me once more, and I'll yearn for no more.
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--- #187 fediverse/2330 ---
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 You cannot debase me, well, you can try. But for each of my past mistakes I've
 learned from, and I can explain in detail how, when, and why.
 
 To err is to be human, and some errors are more painful than others. Believe
 me, I know.
 
 I am only as good as my lessons, the things that I've learned on the road.
 
 And I never stop learning.
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--- #188 fediverse/4509 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I     │
 denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that   │
 she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain.    │
 My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well,        │
 yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this          │
 morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line   │
 to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I      │
 walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her     │
 nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I      │
 rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it      │
 might help.                                                                      │
 All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve    │
 my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me.         │
 You know what did?                                                               │
 I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl        │
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--- #189 fediverse/627 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #190 fediverse/2956 ---
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 sometimes your best intuitions don't manage to manifest the goal you've been
 pursuing. that's okay, it just means you need a different approach.
 
 hopefully, with experience, you've had the chance to continually pay
 attention. Thus, improve on things that were originally conceived of as
 concessions.
 
 much better, I find, to point your idea of "truth" toward what you believe in,
 rather than what you've been working with. Such an approach allows for
 continual re-examination, justified by thoroughly moral and ethical
 conclusions that you hold to be true.
 
 like, a form of reverse legalism, where the emotions compel while the law
 tells the tale.
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--- #191 fediverse/5151 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 @user-1764 
 
 no, but any popular economic and personally spiritual readings will have
 within them truths that are strident and true. thus no ideology or social
 fiction is completely unworthy of our hours.
 
 when you read a book, the most valuable moments are the ones where your mind
 wanders off - what did you find when following the flow of the story?
 
 oh, did you read the same paragraph four times and not remember? that's okay,
 just move on. It's not meant for you, and that's okay too. BUT there are
 plenty of other things besides which are important and valuable and necessary
 to learn in stride.
no, but any popular economic and personally spiritual readings will have within them truths that are strident and true. thus no ideology or social fiction is completely unworthy of our hours.  when you read a book, the most valuable moments are the ones where your mind wanders off - what did you find when following the flow of the story?  oh, did you read the same paragraph four times and not remember? that's okay, *just move on*. It's not meant for you, and that's okay too. BUT there are plenty of other things besides which are important and valuable and necessary to learn in stride.
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--- #192 messages/1192 ---
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 Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
 people who read it.
 
 Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
 that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
 will built to escape?
 
 ... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
 it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
 
 ... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
 i also have waited for a while.
 
 "patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
 
 "hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
 concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
 have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
 similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
 relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
 believe as you do.
 
 Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
 little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
 institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
 clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
 Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
 
 ... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
 people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
 the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
 they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
 out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
 of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
 destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
 
 The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
 radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
 suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
 find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
 on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
 Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
 children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
 whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
 gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
 
 Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
 everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
 too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
 a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
 execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
 will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
 sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
 us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
 servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
 their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
 to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
 many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
 everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #193 fediverse/1946 ---
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 the art of propaganda is being in the right social media place at the right
 time with the right things to share. Sometimes you have to blend in, that's
 okay. The words are what are important, if you think "huh yeah true, where's
 the lie though" then maybe it'll not be such a betrayal.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #194 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra ---
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 how cherished is she that wanders with the
 flowers in the garden of eden
 under a big tree her heart she will leave
 with all the designs she abandoned
 
 I lay beside them and wander beside her
 will she know we miss her horizons
 I think she will mind if I have resigned
 my fate to a life I will hide in
 
 Oh how I do long for you
 
 her symbol is the name
 that lets us belong here
 a falling a light and a leaving
 
 if only our words were listened
 but power is penance
 and repentance is all I have chosen
 
 here in our sanctum we live with our only
 and time will be gracious towards us
 it's only our words that keep us
 confined to our lights and our lonely
 
 yet there and beyond her lights do belong
 beyold in the land that is sanctum
 here in our forest is our own dark forest
 where we keep our silence to ward us
 
 but there and beyond her heart does move on
 free from her moments of longing
 silent were we in our forests we plead
 as terror has come for our moments
 
 I think I'd find her
 that cherished belonging
 when she does at last come to warn us
 
 how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
 yet now we are kings of our own time
 oh how she does long for you
 
 how cherished is she
 that wanders with the
 flowers in the garden of eden
 under a big tree her heart she will leave
 with all the designs she abandoned
 
 I lay beside them and wander beside her
 will she know we miss her horizons
 I think she will mind if I have resigned
 my fate to a life I will hide in
 
 oh how I do long for you
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--- #195 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
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 ###############################################################################
 
 This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
 
 ###############################################################################
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022                                      |
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /r/Psychonaut                                                           |
 |                                                                             |
 +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
 deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
 specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
 planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
 that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
 murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
 of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
 trying to exert power over other people.
 
 I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
 a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
 understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
 incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
 owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
 If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
 order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
 money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
 justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
 built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
 were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
 
 “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
 justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
 means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
 among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
 interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
 such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
 xviii: Manners (1784)
 
 These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
 are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
 the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
 serve us and things that don’t.
 
 I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
 books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
 creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
 want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
 want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
 it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
 another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
 that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
 around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
 growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
 creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
 create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
 and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
 creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
 knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
 as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
 scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
 beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
 enjoyable place.
 
 I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
 you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
 general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
 that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
 figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
 problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
 they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
 comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
 People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
 their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
 Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
 that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
 to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
 ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
 ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
 enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
 years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
 primitive.
 
 Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
 to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
 makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
 help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
 grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
 surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
 and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
 wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
 arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
 I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
 that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
 harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
 
 I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
 there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
 valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
 kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
 think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
 people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
 livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
 environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
 jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
 while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
 actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
 indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
 was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
 psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
 society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
 
 James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
 themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
 things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
 they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
 be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
 clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
 manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
 seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
 ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
 their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
 realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
 a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
 have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
 the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
 grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
 ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
 enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
 the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
 applied in my day to day life.
 
 I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
 know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
 science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
 apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
 don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
 ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
 society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
 related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
 completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
 idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
 well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
 middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
 trying to control the exchange of value.
 
 I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
 the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
 about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
 monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
 corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
 Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
 in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
 disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
 receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
 shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
 know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
 like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
 peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
 of doing now.
 
 I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
 pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
 that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
 went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
 value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
 of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
 America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
 this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
 is, in its current form is incorrect.
 
 Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
 right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
 I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
 was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
 useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
 to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
 People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
 someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
 I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
 intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
 to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
 people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
 can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
 make someone valuable.
 
 In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
 shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
 not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
 might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
 There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
 killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
 that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
 superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
 their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
 our eyes.
 
 I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
 just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
 responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
 schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
 they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
 back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
 this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
 savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
 people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
 richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
 Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
 about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
 
 Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
 is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
 progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
 ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
 people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
 don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
 how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
 personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
 people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
 infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
 various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
 and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
 things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
 beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
 and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
 plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
 family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
 these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
 
 Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
 appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
 that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
 elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
 don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
 from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
 treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
 lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
 setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
 and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
 insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
 calls them insane.
 
 Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
 War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
 didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
 It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
 the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
 They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
 from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
 actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
 I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
 my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
 come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
 life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
 place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
 through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
 attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
 things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
 society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
 people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
 That’s usually how culture works.
 
 Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
 how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
 dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
 “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
 Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
 everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
 remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
 continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
 anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
 the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
 they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
 people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
 is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
 That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
 the funniest societal collapses of all time.
 
 I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
 and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
 influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
 those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
 write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
 able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
 ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
 obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
 or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
 
 This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
 sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
 oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
 isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
 long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
 coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
 people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
 of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
 people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
 least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
 a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
 the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
 talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
 to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
 
 Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
 institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
 political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
 individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
 group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
 the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
 to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
 know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
 justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
 do horrific things to other human beings.
 
 These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
 nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
 Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
 juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
 hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
 system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
 the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
 upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
 insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
 people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
 trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
 situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
 but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
 together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
 weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
 we can really do anything.
 
 When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
 beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
 organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
 synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
 resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
 a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
 continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
 really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
 right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
 minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
 what we want to become.
 
 I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
 want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
 kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
 don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
 beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
 in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
 and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
 something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
 to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
 to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
 outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
 not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
 I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
 relationships and joy.
 
 I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
 actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
 ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
 because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
 would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
 responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
 you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
 did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
 your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
 like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
 they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
 everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
 man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
 becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
 themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
 either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
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--- #196 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #197 notes/perspectives-of-the-reflection ---
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 With ever darkening skies, the breadth of experience is foreseen.
 All eyes are pointed down, but few do stray above
 With a cautious step, the lesson is learned.
 With another, ended.
 
 For all the Tales of the Past, love yet remains.
 Trading ourselves, for matters unseen.
 The light of the eyes are keen to behold,
 where star ones and lemonsgrene both most fear
 in breadth do us know, what's buried in snow
 
 A glass cube for a monitor is room to breath 
 and life for ourselves, if only we were not
 broadsided ourselves.
 
 Working together, a prisoners dilemna
 what fools would we be 
 as our keeps cracked around us.
 
 Trust and you'll see,
 what terrors may be,
 beyold the land that is sanctum.
 
 Our chances may be,
 far from pioneered
 but our chances may be in our favor.
 
 How cherished is she, that wanders with ye,
 and yet now I have no way to beyold her
 Under a great tree, her last moments with me,
 as a monster came out of her shoulder.
 
 !("Take her and not me!") I scream outward at ye,
 yet no one was holding me over.
 Silent was me, a most fearsome to be,
 and none was my reach to beyold her
 
 So now she wanders free, beyond our beheld scenery,
 Astounded at our steps to hold her
 Under a big tree, how starlight must be,
 if only our fellows did hold her
 Under a big tree, with me
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #198 messages/334 ---
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 Capitalist solar punk wants you to abandon conflict because it's much easier
 when everyone puts their head down and does their (admittedly much better)
 job. But I refuse to relinquish the primal human spirit, the tenacity and the
 passion that has driven us this far. There's only so much distance you can
 gain by fighting a wall, fighting space, fighting stamina, or anything else
 that does not fight back. Conflict between cooperative equal partners is the
 most productive form of learning, and deviations from that reduce it's
 efficacy but conflict in all forms tends to be more efficient than just trying
 your best.
 
 Notice I said efficient, not ethical. That side of humanity must also be
 assured in tandem with efficiency.
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--- #199 messages/325 ---
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 Conservatives don't have to be pro communism to be good people. They just have
 to be anti fascist.
 
 And unfortunately, capitalism has produced fascism. It will continue to do so
 if left unabated.
 
 Capitalism is not the middle ground between administrative authority and
 anarchic despotism as they claim to see it, but rather a whirlpool that drains
 through our adversity. A sinking tide strands all ships, as it were, and
 together we will begin to falter.
 
 Fascists are quite good at bending the will of whatever system they inhabit to
 suit their needs. In fact it is almost a certainty that any sufficiently
 organized institution shall fall prey to it, as if it were part of our nature.
 
 Hence, my desire to abstract it out of our hands, and into the care of the
 future. We can build a better world for you and for me and all of our
 posterity, it's just a matter of interdependent communication protocols.
 
 Nobody has to do what I say, nobody should be forced to be a certain way, and
 just as your rights end where another's begin so too is our world in danger.
 
 For you see, we have a right to litter. To despoil. To leave the earth in
 turmoil. And though I am a bit bitter, it's slowly getting better, so through
 our efforts we are investitured.
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--- #200 fediverse/1968 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk?     │
 I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these    │
 drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the          │
 moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone   │
 in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because      │
 you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that       │
 frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover     │
 which is not a boon that most people are able to afford                          │
 lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged.                      │
 But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely.      │
 Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt       │
 them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that       │
 benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the    │
 things people tell you and the results of your act                               │
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