=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── the trick to keeping friends is to not piss off more than one person at a time. apologize, then move on together. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/1334 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: TMI-medical-issue-thing-don't-worry-about-it │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ subconsciously running your hand over your butt every time you stand up to make sure you didn't pee your pants ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/4025 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── the "village idiot" doesn't need to lack smarts, so long as everyone else is in on it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #3 messages/1445 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ Am I paranoid? You betcha. Will I apologize? ... Probably not. Sorry. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #4 messages/77 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── And lo! She would forever be know As the girl who smelled Like she had pissed herself ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/586 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── @user-419 the smell of decay is the smell of creation, as life is recycled into that which gives birth to new forms so... that smell is probably me, I haven't showered in a while. sorry. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/322 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── And lo! She would forever be know As the girl who would smell Like she had pissed herself ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 messages/1438 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ The trick to motorcycles is: don't crash, and be loud enough so that nobody forgets you're there. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘ --- #8 fediverse/3829 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: drugs-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ the worst part about being sober is knowing that nobody misses your old self but you. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #9 messages/1330 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── The only times i wet my pants are when my diaper is full. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #10 fediverse/1300 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: food-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ eat another pickle you surely will not regret eating another pickle ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/6457 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───── the second rule is you don't have to hang out with mortals. there are places you can go where they won't find you, except by accident, and then you just go somewhere else. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘ --- #12 messages/1288 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── I am an incontinent girl. Of course my bed smells like piss. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #13 messages/545 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── The worst part about being sober is knowing that nobody misses your old self but you. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/5823 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── the firsthing a helpful comrade would do with their mistakes is bring attention to them. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/6311 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────── "thank you" isn't gratitude in the same way "sorry" isn't a complete apology ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┘ --- #16 fediverse/3776 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── whenever repeating letters like thiiiiiiis or thisssss make sure if you're doing K's that you have at least four ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/3014 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── the part of me that thinks "woof I gotta stop posting on the fediverse" is not the part of me that posts on the fediverse. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/4485 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── getting the phone numbers of cute he/thems at a bar is NOT the same as organizing. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #19 messages/399 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you can understand and work with. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/4876 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: US politics-related, personal │ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-1370 you don't have to apologize for escalating your response to trauma it's cool we get it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘ |