=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned-sleeping-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────┘


 phew, just got back from a long nap and I had such a lovely dream! Gonna write
 down everything I can remember in my dream journal, will letcha know when I
 have something to share.
 
 Also... sorry about the sun. I have no idea if it was worth it because I woke
 up quite a bit later. Ah well anyway gotta do some writing, I hope everyone
 has a pleasant day. Make sure you eat nutrients and stay hydrated and do your
 stretches and work on your posture and all that.
 
 vegetables have minerals, fruits have vitamins, rice-and-beans or meat have
 protein, and oils and fats have calories. try and eat a lot of different
 colors of veggies and a lot of different colors of fruits (a green fruit and a
 green vegetable are not necessarily the same nutritionally)
 
 well brb goodnight gonna drink some water
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2286 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #2 fediverse/5029 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
 showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
 "hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
 fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
 have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
 "don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
 sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
 I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
 favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
 
 picture unrelated.
a picture of denver with some spots labelled
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--- #3 fediverse/5791 ---
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 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #4 fediverse/4486 ---
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 gonna go on a walk. my cat is missing because I let her out last night. I'm
 worried sick! this morning I almost puked all over my toes.
 
 she'll probably show up when it gets dark. I bet she's hunkered down
 somewhere. Ah, well, might as well walk around my neighborhood actively
 searching bushes and such. Why not? It's not like I got anything else to do
 right now.
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--- #5 fediverse/2359 ---
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 @user-1248 
 
 everyone does, it's natural to rest.
 
 I slept like a rock last night because I rode my bike all day yesterday. Not
 ideal, I didn't have any useful dreams!
 
 There's a difference between downtime and freetime. Freetime should be spent
 toward something you care about, downtime is time spent recovering from the
 things you don't.
 
 I think in a better world, we'd only have freetime. Perhaps then we wouldn't
 need to feel so down in our time.
 
 I will use my freetime to build a world where we live as we define, that is my
 goal, that is what I care about.
 
 you do you tho 😋
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--- #6 fediverse/1755 ---
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 today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
 
 Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
 keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
 other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
 fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
 sometimes, but the other thing.
 
 And now for the downsides.
 
 If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
 ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
 it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
 convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
 know the creator).
 
 If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
 decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
 
 Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #7 fediverse/961 ---
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 hmmmm let's see, what shall I do today?                                          │
 first I should get out of bed,                                                   │
 then I should clean my self,                                                     │
 then I should feed my self,                                                      │
 then I should stare at the wall for an hour or three because there's too many    │
 thoughts,                                                                        │
 then perhaps I'll play a strategic video game because at least that's a          │
 productive way to exercise my brain                                              │
 I should probably get back to my friends,                                        │
 and oh dear my cat wants some attention.                                         │
 This place is a mess, let me just clean a bit                                    │
 now I'm so tired I accidentally take a nap.                                      │
 Good morning! Oh, it's the afternoon. Well, time for more food.                  │
 After handling the essentials, I can tuck in and relax                           │
 by doomscrolling on Mastodon.                                                    │
 Then perhaps a bit later I'll message my boyfriend (he won't respond)            │
 and boy are there so many of these dirty dishes!                                 │
 Well, standing up is exhausting,                                                 │
 so I should probably fall back asleep.                                           │
 What a productive day we've been having,                                         │
 for all of this past week.                                                       │
 Maybe I'll do some drawing, maybe a poem or two                                  │
 maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or m                              │
A screenshot based continuation of the end of the post, which went over the character limit by 36 characters. Of note is that this wasn't included in the original post, it was added later in an edit to be silly.  The text reads:  "maybe I'll run out of characters in this toot, or maybe I'll finish it just for you. [smiley face]"
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--- #8 fediverse/2562 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #9 fediverse/200 ---
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 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
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--- #10 fediverse/4654 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #11 fediverse/3961 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: witcherie        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
 hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well,  so the next
 person has an easier time of it.
 
 unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
 sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
 and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
 that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
 eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
 excellent vision.
 
 Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #12 fediverse/861 ---
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 I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
 could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
 forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
 disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
 
 [that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
 
 reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
 matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
 determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
 
 I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
 you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
 only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
 you...
 
 once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
 only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
 elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #13 fediverse/2367 ---
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 Just woke up from a short nap.
 
 I had a dream. I was riding on the subway, or maybe a light rail train, and
 inbetween stops a lady knocked on the window to be let in.
 
 The train was stopped for some reason, perhaps to let another one through, so
 all it would have taken was to open the door.
 
 I pushed the button. I talked to the operator. He wouldn't open the door.
 
 The train started moving, and the woman started pleading. She ran alongside it
 as long as her elderly legs could carry her, but then there was another train
 behind her.
 
 I saw her disappear between two and when mine stopped at the next legally
 designated spot, her little dog was sitting there, waiting for me, under a
 blanket made of her shawl. It was a dream, after all, and there were two more
 there comforting her. for the loss of her friend.
 
 He could have opened the door. They wouldn't let him.
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--- #14 fediverse/6076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "so I was walking down the street the other day and I came across a grocery
 store, right? and anyway long story short so as I was walking through this
 grocery store I saw a bag of marbles - wait no they were nuts, with like...
 cherries and grapes in them. actually it was cranberries, I think, the
 cherries weren't in season. so these dried cranberries tasted really tart and
 sweet, and I thought "huh maybe they're dried cherries after all" and so I
 asked the attendent or whatever and she was like "sir you need to pay for
 that" and I'm like, yeah okay how much and she said it was 10$ so I'm like
 "dang that's a good deal, I'm proud and amazed of our modern infrastructure
 and all the hard work of people who don't get paid enough to make it happen"
 and she's like "make what happen" and I'm like "oh the... the this thing" and
 I held up the bag of cherries and she's like "oh uh, yeah it is nice, I guess
 I don't really think about it much" so anyway I started thinking about what
 else I could bu
buy as a set for dollars like perhaps epstein files or cures for cancer or recipes for programmable matter or whatever. One of those options stood out to me as like, possible? and the others seemed like modern fantasy. The kind you *work toward*, yeah? not the kind that you have available as an option.
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--- #15 fediverse/5774 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 managed to go on a walk to the grocery store and around the bend, but when I     │
 got on the bus to go into PORTLAND OREGON my credit card was declined. seems     │
 like I can't pay the fee. Well, guess I'm stuck here for now.                    │
 it did feel nice to be under the sun, though. Maybe I'll go back out under the   │
 moonlight. Maybe then I'll be less sweaty when I return!                         │
 or, knowing me, it'll be just the same. it's the exertion after all, though      │
 the heat doesn't help.                                                           │
 which is part of the reason I'm staying indoors by the way - the heat I mean -   │
 if they get air conditioned cars and we get to stand out in the sun, it's        │
 better by far to do it when it's colder.                                         │
 they say that you can never win a land war in asia because Russia will freeze    │
 you and the west will dessicate you while the east will drown you. India does    │
 all that and more.                                                               │
 with global warming, everywhere's about to turn into a savannah or rainforest,   │
 so standing around all day in the sun is a losing game. I'd rather fight in      │
 the shade of winter or the wind of autumn...                                     │
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--- #16 fediverse/510 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 Thanks, it means a lot. Sometimes I am a little "distant" from reality (like
 tonight, tbh) but I generally always am within sight. Meaning I can still
 understand what people are saying. My uhhh.... "plan" is to always be vigilant
 and look for times when people cannot comprehend what I say - even the most
 mundane of things - because if so then surely I am psychotic. At that point
 I'll just kinda go along with whatever anyone says, even if it feels like I'm
 a cow in a factory farm or whatever my mind might contrive to torture me with.
 
 Thanks for reaching out. Sorry you've lost people. I hope they aren't gone
 forever. I hope I don't go forever. We'll see, I guess.
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--- #17 fediverse/2089 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
 shut up."                                                                        │
 BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
 "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
 the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
 BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
 "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
 to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
 on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
 EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
 [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
 wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
 be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
 because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
 listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
 in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
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--- #18 fediverse/4853 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-scary-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 wanna know how to go underground?
 
 just... don't leave your apartment. let your roommates take out your trash and
 buy your groceries. don't open your windows and do nothing for as long as
 possible.
 
 hope you got lots of edibles... get in shape, will ya? don't waste the paper
 in your journals.
 
 not that I intend to do that or anything, but um. for the red states maybe?
 use your best judgement yeah haha
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--- #19 fediverse/3722 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 @user-1218 
 
 playing one of my 4 gameboys, reading some of my books or journals, using
 their own brought devices, playing with my cat (she's not sociable but if you
 don't mind her claws she can fight and that's kinda fun) watching something on
 the TV, talking with other people, making / eating food, um... sleeping... and
 "sleeping"... idk what else tho. Drawing? Getting stoned? I have lots of bad
 edibles.
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--- #20 fediverse_boost/778 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  a message to all my haters!                                                 
                                                                              
  i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry what did i do wrong i’ll do anything to fix it i’m so sorry please i’ll do anything to get you to stop hating me i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #21 notes/i-am-a-stalk ---
════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I am a stalk, a small little plant
 A plant with no leaves, just hair.
 
 Time is different to a plant such as me,
 We hardly wake up, we're just happy to be
 
 But life has no less purpose, it's no less grand
 To those who would feed on me, in one single band
 
 Stalling and talking and as we're falling down,
 you have the power to not swallow our abounds.
 
 Gnashing and gnawing on hand and on foot,
 It hurts no less than eternal binding.
 
 But what is time to one so little as you?
 Your breaths are so short, your timings subdued.
 
 Keep falling and shouting, and calling my name,
 and I'll come a running just to swallow your shame.
 
 Keep fear on a leash, most tidy and well kept,
 That none may abhor you and you're soon to be
 
 A leader a prophet a warrior most fair,
 One to be aspired to and viewed with care.
 
 Young you may be, and youth you may cherish,
 but don't run away, stand as a parish.
 
 A villain to be, a curse is most foul
 For sirens to me, a terrible howl
 
 Keep not naught afraid,
 with kittens and care,
 
 And no one
 but no one
 
 I
 be
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--- #22 fediverse/6063 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: intensity        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 stretch every day, exercise your arms, core, and legs on alternating days
 [first one, then the other, then the third, then either rest or restart
 depending on how you feel]
 
 flexibility is strength. strength gives you options. agility is speed,
 dexterity is precision, wisdom is accuracy.
 
 eat rice, beans, vegetables, and either oil or butter when you can. they work
 together to keep you healthy and nourished.
 
 be nice to creatures, whether they be animal or children or just sorta feral.
 
 spend time feeling adventurous. climb on things because you can. be sensible
 and courageous in all things. there's more to every moment than you remember,
 and there's more to every story than you hear.
 
 if you find something neat, share it with others. don't let it sit on a shelf.
 unless people come by to see it every so often.
 
 there are always people like you around. you are never alone when you are
 known.
my sword is vampiric. it chips away at the victim's karma and gives it to me. the wielder.  there is no evil way to wield this weapon. by chipping away as much as you please, even with fatal or spiritual blows. If you wield it to slay something good, then it chips away at the bad parts of their karma. In doing so, it harms you, as it delivers evil into your soul.;in doing so, it
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--- #23 messages/540 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 Your mouth *likes* to eat 
 
 Your belly *likes* to fill 
 
 Your muscles *enjoy* exercise (and stretches!)
 
 Your mind *likes* to think.
 
 Why is it gross to think of your colon enjoying to poop? Does it prefer beans,
 because they keep things moving?
 
 Why is it gross to think of your under-arms sweating? Does it prefer not to
 smell, or does it wish there were people that liked it without deodorant?
 
 Do your toes think of other people as you walk toward them? Do your fingers
 feel the face of your lover as you pull them close? Or is that for the brain,
 the thoughts processing of all things mundane, the stuff which feels somehow
 more "you" than the rest of you.
 
 How absurd. You are you. You enjoy icecream, you enjoy the beach. You enjoy
 the stars, and you enjoy the laughter around you. There is nothing that
 separates you from you, for you are your only champion.
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--- #24 fediverse/1151 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
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--- #25 fediverse/4655 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know.           │
 one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should         │
 remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one       │
 gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll      │
 off the tongue... shestory?                                                      │
 It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're        │
 done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or    │
 two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need   │
 consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready      │
 and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with   │
 the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly         │
 what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way       │
 through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some            │
 sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason.                       │
 ... sleep, this is a sleep spell...                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #26 fediverse/5785 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #27 fediverse/2297 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Lying wide awake at night with things that I want to say drifting through my
 mind one by one
 
 getting up to write them down? forgetting them all.
 
 I think I'm just gonna leave my computer online to reduce friction hehe.
 
 up and down, till everyone's in town, maybe I'll nap between tweets.
 
 [they're called toots here, dummy]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #28 fediverse/4914 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 what if I just sat around and played video games all day                         │
 life is so much more beautiful, but, well, life just seems to be mostly          │
 pyrite, and I'm the fool                                                         │
 nothing wrong with being foolish.                                                │
 once...                                                                          │
 I kinda like being blissful tho. why does it have to end? can I have my          │
 peaceful life back?                                                              │
 gotta move at the end of the month. I really liked living here.                  │
 [ritz you've never been peaceful. your life is a constant battle of wills        │
 between those who would compel you to do things for them and your desire to      │
 design and be pretty like a flower. no matter what, you lose, so just handle     │
 it please. don't be so whiny. or rather I should say "stop whining" and just     │
 be cool]                                                                         │
 ahhhhhhh you go on Mastodon and it feels like we're winning and that's ending    │
 the world, you go on Reddit and it feels like we're losing and that's ending     │
 the world, you go on Facebook and everything feels fine like the world isn't     │
 ending you just stopped being part of it, and if you go on ephemeren it feels    │
 like being battered in the mind, damnit...                                       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #29 fediverse/6235 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-pics-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "hey what's up. can you borrow my phone for a bit? here's the password. you
 can learn anything you want about me. I told all my socials that I'm away
 until a secred code that only they know and me, so... ah nuts they're
 definitely gonna forget that, focus on what you know"
 
 ... huh? no I'm just saying, if you want to get to know me, check out my
 pictures on my phone
 
 here's a read-only copy that you can annotate as you will. I got the originals
 and their recipes on my computer at home. I recommend ms. paint for drawing
 notes on them.
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/output-pdf/output6.pdf
 
 I'm an artist I make art but... not on purpose, it's just of me a part.
 
 I fell asleep in a dream lately. I think I'm exhausted.
a visual of the post and my profile side-by-side the same, but annotated
                                                           ────┐
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--- #30 fediverse/6449 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 currently have 20-30 tabs open with poems written but not posted.
 
 I have no idea if I'm going to post all of these. I wrote all of them in ~2
 hours, with maybe 3 or four being added as I was working on the production
 elements after the initial bingewrite.
 
 I also added a bit of context, or modified some of them that felt too cursed
 or otherwise unwieldy. Sometimes I got distracted and needed to come back and
 finish, and in those cases I only added a sentence or two because it's like
 "oh, where was I going with that? I remember what was next, but I don't know
 the further..."
 
 ... I think I might go for another. Wish me luck.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #31 fediverse/4087 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there's a whole class of things I miss doing but can no longer do because I am
 not a child anymore.
 
 Balancing the weight of the things we miss and the things we believe in is the
 struggle of adulthood.
 
 I yearn for the day I can set aside my teenage-ish toys, but alas, I am but
 30. Scarcely a decade away from my teens. Which means I'll be stuck with them
 for at least a decade more.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #32 fediverse/2310 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐                                              │
 │ CW: silly-nonsense-about-dreams │                                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘                                              │
 When I sleep, I find it easiest to lay on my stomach. However, now that I have   │
 boobs, laying on my side is easier. For some reason laying on my back is the     │
 hardest still, I think perhaps it has something to do with the shape of my       │
 spine ? ?                                                                        │
 when I dream, I dream as if I was floating on a river of glass. Or as if I was   │
 a spec of dust between two wholes of oil and water.                              │
 Like the difference between the inside and out of a bubble, there is a           │
 barrier, a separation, and in that barrier exists me - the observer of the       │
 dream.                                                                           │
 When I lay on my side, I don't see things that are relevant to me. Sometimes     │
 they're other futures, sometimes they're other now's, but in any case they are   │
 fun but not much else.                                                           │
 when I lay on my front, I see the world as it might be if things don't work      │
 out. I slept on my front last night, and I drew something for you afterwards     │
 based on a conversation I had with a friend.                                     │
 When I lay on my back, I see the world as it will be. It's hard to fall asleep   │
 on my back.                                                                      │
we must secure a cleansing blow  diagram of battle-lines between two forces. One side has their best and brightest in front, because they care about people. The other hides behind their fellows like the cowards they are.  we win when the fascists are dead.  there aren't very many.  we lose when they drag it out.  then a diagram showing how to intercept the cowards as they flee. They cannot flee straight back or they'll cause a mass retreat. They go to the side, like swimming out of a riptide.  Covering fire without rhythm, to preserve ammo.  Hicks are easier to outmaneuver. They only look to what's ahead. Watch your flanks.  Time is cheap if you're learning how to fight. At least, until it's not, but then you're next in line so fight for the light.  if you can, get your foes to surrender. A lost life is a tragedy for all, but fascists are hardly living so they don't count. A life of hate is not a life, but a kind of un-life - it is antithetical to us. Anathema. Empathy is their bane, and we will win forever at the end of this.
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #33 fediverse/5173 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I almost said "did you know chickens don't always know which eggs they're
 sitting on? They pretty much just share spots and keep all of the flock's eggs
 warm"
 
 but then I realized I should first say "did you know that chickens sit on eggs
 to keep warm" and I got a little sad because... chickens...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 fediverse/6100 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
 any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
 
 Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
 to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
 sometimes I just keep them.
 
 "ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
 most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
 and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
 
 there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
 you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
 hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
 leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
 just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
 "HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
 under an umbrella or whatevers rite
                                                           ─────┐
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--- #35 notes/not-gonna-post-that ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 I was stretching just now and notreally paying attention to my body and just
 feeling the most "stretchable" area that I hadn't stretched yet and I
 accidentally made a hitler solute - sorry I was just stretching!! pls don't
 interpret things into that like accidentally almost jesusing HEY I SAID NO
 INTERPRETING ahhhh dangit humans are so
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 give your rulers power and let them keep it. Pick them because they'd be good
 at it. Fulfilling their sacred vow to you.
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 I bet you could touch the spirit realm if you placed speakers next to a river
 and noise cancelled it for a short time
 
 --- stack overflow ---
 
 nobody knows what jesus looks like. so you can draw him however you choose.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #36 fediverse/4251 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is it weird that I pictured a can of diced tomatoes from Costco sitting in a
 salad? strained of course
 
 juicy dressing 🥴 
 
 [self indulgent writing, apologies]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #37 fediverse/1157 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-woe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
 days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
 
 Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
 illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
 you'll be good.
 
 what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
 time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
 "dropping out" thing.
 
 If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
 that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
 
 my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
 you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
 mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
 
 brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
 I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
 have blankets >.>
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #38 fediverse/6239 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 somehow that came out wrong - I meant when you die, suddenly you stop growing
 and you are who you be. forever, alegacy.
 
 I'd rather be awake and alive, thank you very much. I think I'm worth more as
 such. Plus it's nice, to me? to be unafraid and free? if you'd feed a cat,
 you'd shelter a humon. oh, you want me to work like a rat. ah well I'll wander
 through this maze, with my head all in a daze, we'll see what I can still see
 tomorrow.
 
 ... I'd rather not be who I don't actively want to be, I think the more
 correct way of saying it. I mispronounced. I misspoke. Sorry it's just hard
 for me. my cats meowing at me.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #39 fediverse/3691 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I had a dream that someone fed me a McDonalds burger in the airport (with
 "special sauce") and then the next time I was at the grocery store in the
 waking world I ended up buying a bunch of those meat replacements that I
 usually skip in favor of moar vegetables.
 
 Hmmmmm.... I wonder if I have a deficiency
 
 (yeah you dumbass it's a calorie deficiency, just eat more)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #40 fediverse/3645 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 me, sitting down at my computer in order to be distracted:
 
 "I should make and eat a sandwich"
 
 me, sitting down at my computer with a PB&J and peanut-butter fingers:
 
 "I should be productive"
 
 me, sitting at my "work desk":
 
 "I'm hungry. And I'm bored. And I can't stop thinking about this video game I
 haven't played in a year."
 
 repeat
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #41 fediverse/1612 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1040 
 
 also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
 neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
 weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
 profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
 feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
 number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
 Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #42 fediverse/3128 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-disordered-eating │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never should have bought these crackers. They trick me into thinking I'm
 eating something nutritious.
 
 But that's the case with any empty calories.
 
 but hey, calories are calories, right?
 
 I guess that's true. Still, I'd rather make something.
 
 oh would you now would you REALLY rather MAKE something
 
 ... I should rather.
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--- #43 fediverse/4200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #44 fediverse/6445 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
 but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
 
 it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
 goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
 to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #45 fediverse/222 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: underwear-mentioned-also-i'm-not-a-fan-of-showers-tbh │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 whenever I take a shower I look like a wet cat for the rest of the day. I feel
 like a wet cat for the rest of 5ever though.
 
 why must I baaaathe! don't you know I'm self cleaning? I change my underwear
 at least twice a day! darn society and their darn proclivities to
 ultra-sensitive noses that somehow pick up on me but somehow fail to notice
 the scent of flowers still in bloom or morning showers gone too soon
 
 not that there's any flowers blooming where I live. that'd just be silly heh
 heh sweats nervously
 
 damn now I have to take ANOTHER SHOWER stupid sweat glands stupid pheromones
 stupid dead skin buildup (sebum I think it's called?) stupid oils that stain
 clothes - AND THAT'S ANOTHER THING who decided that laundry was important
 enough to wear something ONCE and then never again? it's like they expect you
 to wash it or something. ugh I don't have time for that, I need to be weird on
 the internet.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #46 fediverse/461 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 I was raised in a jungle gym. Like... literally. I am not going to hurt you,
 and if I did it'd be both a mistake and something that you could easily
 recover from. We are infinitely adaptable, us humans, and we can address any
 concerns that behest us. Behest? confront? something like that. Brb my blood
 alcohol content is a little low. Also I haven't eaten anything today but
 bacardi and chocolate chip cookies. I bet another cookie will solve this
 problem.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #47 messages/1250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
 confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
 need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
 then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
 industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
 like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
 sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
 bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
 take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #48 fediverse/3879 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 yeah haha that's what happens when you spin too fast. Sorry for being loud, at
 least I tried my hardest. Too bad I fell on my own, too bad there wasn't
 anyone to catch me. That's my fault, it's solely my own, but whose fault is
 the mistake of the collective? Oy I'll fall on my ass as many times as it
 takes. I'm used to it.
 
 Plus, it wouldn't have worked, and what else am I supposed to do but speak of
 the moment? I feel different now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #49 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #50 fediverse/4168 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #51 fediverse/5793 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 I posted my words text file all over the c it y today. not sure why. maybe I'm
 tired of this course and I don't want to let anyone down? Maybe I don't know
 what to do yet. Maybe nobody works with me because everyone's keeping it on
 the DL or whateverr?
 
 ... anyway enough typing, I'm going to go play a video game. like god intended.
                                                           ────────┐
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--- #52 fediverse/3818 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: body-parts-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 Your mouth likes to eat 
 
 Your belly likes to fill 
 
 Your muscles enjoy exercise (and stretches!)
 
 Your mind likes to think.
 
 Why is it gross to think of your colon enjoying to poop? Does it prefer beans,
 because they keep things moving?
 
 Why is it gross to think of your under-arms sweating? Does it prefer not to
 smell, or does it wish there were people that liked it without deodorant?
 
 Do your toes think of other people as you walk toward them? Do your fingers
 feel the face of your lover as you pull them close? Or is that for the brain,
 the thoughts processing of all things mundane, the stuff which feels somehow
 more "you" than the rest of you.
 
 How absurd. You are you. You enjoy icecream, you enjoy the beach. You enjoy
 the stars, and you enjoy the laughter around you. There is nothing that
 separates you from you, for you are your only champion.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #53 fediverse/2407 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
 
 I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
 if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
 why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
 
 also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
 
 before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
 water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
 
 "no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
 
 ... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
 be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
 
 how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #54 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #55 fediverse/3834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 some people prepare for revolution like a boy gets ready for a party
 
 others do so like a girl packing for a weekend trip to vegas
 
 I do it like a kid who forgot the paper was due on monday in 7th period and so
 spends their entire lunch period writing it (missing 4th in the process
 because the conclusion paragraph was giving me difficulty)
 
 but I think no matter how you do it, we're all just waiting for something to
 happen.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #56 fediverse/6250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 Dear my future self: I'm sorry for all the things that I do. I hope you
 appreciate the gifts I leave you. Thank you for never giving up, and I trust
 you to take care of me and the things I care about. I'm proud of what you've
 done with me, and I'm hopeful that one day I'll be just a bit like you.
                                                           ────┐
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--- #57 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #58 fediverse/5329 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-world-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #59 notes/what-are-breakups-for ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 listen... if you break up with a friend, OF COURSE you should cry.
 
 OF COURSE you'll be sad.
 
 it's okay.
 
 it's natural. it's human.
 
 don't feel sad about the pain. feel the pain.
 
 brb getting smashed
 
 (okay but please put some clothes on)
 
 -.- fine
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 I can't fucking relax
 
 the only thing I can think of is defeating fascism
 
 this fucking sucks
 
 I just want to cry about my boyfriend of what, 6 years??
 
 jeez
 
 like.... yeah I'm flawed
 
 *of course* I'm flawed
 
 I'm a human being
 
 humans are imperfect
 
 ... ugh
 
 er, sorry, "bleurg"
 
 I'm going to eat a burrito
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 alright ate an edible. 20mg. had 2 beers. that's enough for me.
 
 see ya soon. I swear to you, I will be there tomorrow. and every day
 henceforth.
 
 ... unless I'm taking a day off, like yesterday, which TBH was probably not
     ideal.
 
 I swear I'll be better.
 
 there are no false starts, only probing strikes.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #61 fediverse/4273 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #62 fediverse/2290 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: a device design that may have lewd implications │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1153 
 
 congratulations, you invented humanoid robots! And hey they come in so many
 shapes and colors, plus you can run them on nothing but rice, beans, and
 nutrient paste. They're quite efficient at their jobs!
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #63 fediverse/2294 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Vegetables are delicious! There's lots of nutrients. However vegetables, while
 can be eaten raw, are much more useful for your body molecularly if you cook
 them first. I think it breaks down the cellular walls so that your body can
 digest the juicy tasty nutrients locked within.
 
 Vegetables also don't have calories, that you get from things with vitality.
 You are what you eat, and sometimes if you need it you might want to try meat.
 Me? I'm a vegetarian, that's why I'm so skinny! Carnivores have it so easy, I
 have to eat about 2x as much rice-and-beans by weight.
 
 At least I'm not vegan - I can supplement with fats like butter and cooking
 oil, which are useful when combined with nutrients, as they allow your body to
 store them for later. Just make sure you eat enough calories which are energy
 for your body, otherwise it won't have the chemical energy to store said
 nutrients in your latent fat cells. Like, building up a pantry, or a squirrel
 saving nuts for winter.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #64 fediverse/1317 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #65 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #66 notes/water-to-wine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #67 fediverse/3738 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 "girl why are you so negative"
 
 uh, because I had been unmedicated for a long time and now that I am I can
 probably be more positive. Though I do want to switch medications, this one
 makes me feel like a muggle.
 
 "no I said why are you so naked"
 
 oh, because it's hot as heck!!
 
 plus, I don't really care for the opinions of people who have nothing better
 to do than peek at cute 30 year old witches skimping around their own house.
 like... okay I rent an apartment, but my blinds are closed, and even if they
 weren't you'd need binoculars to see into my apartment unless I'm like, right
 up against the window, which... doesn't happen. Or if it's at night with the
 lights on inside and not out, but I'm aware of that and I plan around it. I'm
 not a... um, what's the opposite of voyeur?
 
 "extortionist"
 
 no that's when someone is really flexible. ah whatever. I got 162 characters
 remaining but I think that's okay every once in a while, right? I mean it's
 not like I have to use them all because of some divine mandate or
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #68 fediverse/3929 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 are you about to delete a post that you thought was funny, but actually wasn't
 once you wrote it down and read it to yourself?
 
 STOP
 
 write it down on a post-it and put it under your desk or behind a drawer
 
 put it in a .txt file in a random directory on your computer
 
 send it as a text message to yourself
 
 write it down, take a picture of it, and then burn the paper
 
 y'know, typical stuff like that
 
 do this and I guarantee you won't regret it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #69 fediverse/2104 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-192 
 
 oooooo yeah I usually try and reply to my old post with any new information. I
 never get the chance to think the same thoughts twice because when I was
 younger I had problems with thought-loops where I'd think something like "darn
 I could have handled that social situation better" and before you know it I'd
 be rocking myself to sleep trying to stop thinking negative thoughts about
 myself.
 
 So I broke my brain a little and now I can't think the same thing more than
 once, which is part of why it's so hard for me to finish projects. Alas.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #70 fediverse/5748 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ...zzzZZZzzz...
 
 whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
 water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #71 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #72 fediverse/3152 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 when I think socialism, I don't think soviet.                                    │
 I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks      │
 past the grill.                                                                  │
 I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every    │
 house they can get their hands on.                                               │
 I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park    │
 with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato         │
 plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every     │
 sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered   │
 by the solar panels on their roofs)                                              │
 Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the        │
 snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone.        │
 I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every    │
 night in our cities, marshmallows free and included.                             │
 I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a       │
 rainforest)                                                                      │
 I dream of freedom and purpose.                                                  │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #73 fediverse/2279 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
 What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
 
 .... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
 
 But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
 bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
 
 So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
 full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
 deal.
 
 But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
 can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
 it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
 But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
 decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
 
 ... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #74 fediverse/5407 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right   │
 after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was    │
 sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over    │
 and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it.    │
 Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice.                                                    │
 it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be     │
 nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2      │
 all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp      │
 drives.                                                                          │
 eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the       │
 geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I   │
 was able to make my mistake.                                                     │
 ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo.                                    │
 anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is   │
 stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there      │
 was a                                                                            │
 ----------------- stack overflow ----------------                                │
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--- #75 fediverse/5452 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: all-cops-are-bastards-mentioned-personal-ramblings-and-complainings-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #76 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #77 fediverse/4744 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #78 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #79 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #80 fediverse/677 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-78 
 
 I read about half of this:
 
 https://jo.wtf/6d.html
 
 before I was consumed by the intense urge to prop myself up on a pillow and
 listen to you rant at the ceiling at 4am about gravity or the cosmos or
 whatever you were thinking about prior to speaking your heart
 
 and then I'd write it down, and cherish every moment of it as I shared it with
 my peers and we tried to analyze just what you meant
 
 [sorry for being gay on your timeline]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #81 fediverse/586 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-419 
 
 the smell of decay is the smell of creation, as life is recycled into that
 which gives birth to new forms
 
 so... that smell is probably me, I haven't showered in a while. sorry.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #82 fediverse/6186 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-maybe     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
 
 robo-horses
 
 centaurs even
 
 [scary scary ogre]
 
 rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
 
 bwahahaha evil necromancer
 
 ahhhhhhh scary
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
 creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
 
 I wonder what they then did see
 
 kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
 the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
 
 ... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
 
 meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
 
 I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
 
 I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #83 notes/once-and-again ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 once and again, she went walking with a friend,
 
 away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
 
 they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
 
 far and away in the light of the day
 
 he said to her then, this is all there is to see
 
 the land where we are
 and the sky from afar
 
 how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
 but now it's along and beyond her
 
 a camera for she, and an eye for she
 as their two feet did bring her to wander
 
 under a big tree where my heart did believe
 that something was pulling her yonder
 
 "take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
  and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #84 fediverse/4398 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 good morning.                                                                    │
 I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps.     │
 Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and      │
 eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark -     │
 I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid.                                │
 ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time.   │
 This time I'll be more careful, for your sake.                                   │
 No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that   │
 stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises.                        │
 No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on          │
 unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer.                         │
 Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never       │
 will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you     │
 believe in too.                                                                  │
 A better world is possible. A better world is within reach.                      │
 For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary    │
 discussable maps. DFTBA.                                                         │
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--- #85 fediverse/2296 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: re: food-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 energy drinks and coffee will keep you awake, but they're a false promise, as    │
 once they're gone and digested your body's gonna crash harder. You'll have to    │
 sleep it off, like a hangover. But that's okay if you're getting somewhere and   │
 have a day to rest.                                                              │
 sugars found in fruit can give you a burst of quick energy, but they make you    │
 sleepy overtime. If this were a video game, they'd give +50 energy points but    │
 -1 per second for the next 100 seconds. Not ideal, but there's some vitamins     │
 that are only in fruit so it's a good idea to eat fruit at least once or         │
 thrice a week.                                                                   │
 bread products are the opposite - they give you long-term energy. It takes       │
 your body longer to digest them, which means they're good for vitality. But      │
 they also don't have many nutrients, so don't forget your vegetables! Plus,      │
 more calories is always good if you've got time to spare. Just make sure you     │
 aren't using calories to store calories in your fat cells, that's like           │
 double-stacking condoms - not ideal. Store nutrients.                            │
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--- #86 messages/418 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Do you think I'm the first person that ever wrote down what they learned while
 they were stoned? Of course not. People have been plumbing the depths of their
 minds as it pulls closer, then returns, as long as they've known the plant to
 be. Something pulls them back, they do not give in to temptation, not
 entirely, and so they return to their senses.
 
 Good news, because that "something" that returns them to their place is no
 more than the bodily processes which consume and overcome the cannabinoids.
 Your body pulls you back, as you float in the astral plane, ever at the whims
 of the winds of fate.
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--- #87 fediverse/380 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 I wish we could have winter with all the nice things of summer but none of the
 bad things of winter. And I wish summer could be more like winter but with all
 of the good things of summer and none of the bad things of winter.
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--- #88 fediverse/2399 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Rice has been eaten. I threw a cookie on-top for good measure. I think that
 was a good decision.
 
 I'm going to the park. I don't know what I'll find, but I'm sure there'll be
 fireworks.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #89 fediverse/4148 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: death-mentioned-abstractly │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 I wish I knew someone who wanted to kill me. I bet I could present a pretty      │
 decent bullet pointed list of reasons why I actually deserve to live, thank      │
 you very much, alongside a couple hastily scribbled notes about why it           │
 wouldn't be a good idea for them in particular to kill me, and all my contact    │
 details and address so they can get in touch and we can hash out the deets for   │
 my indefinitely suspended execution (suspended for an indeterminate amount of    │
 time, but not cancelled of course that would be overstepping their boundaries)   │
 alongside a link to my google calendar (I don't have a google calendar) so       │
 they can know exactly when I'm home and when I'm at the store or in a            │
 different place so they can break in and hide in the closet until I go to        │
 sleep so that it won't be hard at all, trivial really, to kill me, but see if    │
 you read the bullet pointed list... oh, you didn't get my email? Ah sorry        │
 sometimes it gets caught in the spam filter - what's your address again? Huh I   │
 sent it but                                                                      │
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--- #90 fediverse/4145 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-78 
 
 I do believe the earth is kind!
 
 I trust and honor that sacred belief as I would a vow.
 
 I try to be a good representative of the world!
 
 so I am kind.
 
 It's important to me. Much more than any career or job. And when I do work I
 am kind! Among other things like diligent and round.
 
 It makes sense to me because without cooperation, you have endless stagnation.
 And without competitition, you have ednless stagnation. Only together can
 their powers combine and fuse into the super-power of coordination which
 frankly is kind of a holy grail. For life itself.
 
 EDIT: so um earth and life are kind because they work together somehow?? I
 guess I was describing the soil cycle sorry /shrug
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--- #91 fediverse/6018 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 I feel so sad, like I'm missing something precious to me... I hope someone
 knows who to take it to. Like the world is just a bit darker and more mundane.
 
 ah, well, maybe it's just perception bias. When things leave your timeline
 (temporarily or permanently) they take their inertial influence with them.
 It's okay to mourn the loss of a friend, of a relic, or an opportunity. So
 long as you continue to nurture light, life, and hope wherever you go, the
 magic will return and continue to flow. If you believe that, then you know
 what faith is. easy enough...
 
 please be worth it
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #92 messages/416 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
 words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
 illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
 because all things are defined in waves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 notes/what-a-lame-movie ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 oy there's nothing interesting happening SNOOZE
 
 oh I didn't see I was recording
 
 games games that's what I do
 
 play games all the day through
 
 I am a luck witch, you see,
 
 and things that I like are things that I can't foresee.
 
 Hence why games which are BALANCED and EVENLY DISTRIBUTED are most interesting
 because they show the most opportunities for players to express talent. And not
 innate talent, but the talents they've built up through gameplay practice art.
 because it is a performance, a game play for an audience (or perhaps for them-
 -selves)
 
 oy
 
 video games, amiright?
 
 I really like them because they are entertaining experiences that I can enjoy
 seeing and playing a lot. They remind me of feelings I've felt when I was
 learning. It's a good feeling, to improve, and I crave it because it's good for
 you.
 
 I wonder what we'll play next
 
 ... more cannabis I think, at least until I am ready to go think about things
 before bed. I need quite a few hours for that. We'll see. I've just got so much
 extra processing to do before the end of the day. Like... PHEW that's a lot of
 stuff to do.
 
 guess I'll just smoke weed and play video games instead of being productive
 okay
 
 ...
 
 listen I like games as much as the next person, but do you really know what's
 going on outside of your house-shaped shell? Are you listening, do you have
 your
 feelers to the dirt, are you checking out your neighborhood to make sure no
 bodies have been hurt? Are there meetings where people gather, just to chat,
 like, every week at a different city center (like a park or a monument or
 
 :O
 
 I forgot to play music!!
 
 I couldn't sleep
 
 what have I done that is worse
 
 I have not said a single word all night alas
 
 oh boy talking to random people I can hear with my eyeballs woooooo
 
 I am always sad when I win because it means we have to stop playing :(
 
 but I'm a juvenile loser so I'm going to play again!!
 
 okay now I'm going to bed because I'm not a prick who keeps their guests up
 late
 
 goodnight
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--- #94 fediverse/3618 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 they say fat people are jolly, which makes me wonder if the only reason I'm
 often sad is because I'm too skinny.
 
 I need an italian grandma to feed me butter and pasta T.T
 
 eat somethin' why don'tcha you're skin an' bones, kid
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #95 fediverse/4795 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 don't know how to make decent rice and beans?
 
 get the heartiest vegetable soup you can find from the store and cook some
 jasmine rice and lentils in a pot. You should be able to do both in the same
 pot. cook them like noodles by boiling some water and adding the rice and
 beans. add some salt to the water. make it salty like the sea.
 
 then drain the rice and beans once you taste test them to be done. be patient.
 add the hearty, savory soup to the mix alongside a big hunk of butter.
 
 boom, protein, calories, nutrients. all in one meal. the more vegetables in
 the soup, the better, and if you're feeling fancy you can sautee some of your
 own instead of soup by dicing them into inch large chunks and throwing them in
 a pan on medium heat with some butter and whatever seasonings you want for a
 while, stirring only when they start to stick. Just enough to brown them, not
 burn them.
 
 butter and salt and garlic and boullion are your friends. don't do too much,
 if you notice them a lot then it's too much.
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--- #96 fediverse/2117 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up    │
 your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff,   │
 and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block     │
 me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others      │
 could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like     │
 if you're perhaps focused on something else.                                     │
 I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until      │
 now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow,    │
 because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so        │
 trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes,   │
 so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean.                   │
 wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but      │
 I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear       │
 like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos"                      │
 anyway,:                                                                         │
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--- #97 fediverse/2142 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I'm going to post a bunch of things all at once, sorry it'll probably clog up    │
 your news feed. Feel free to scroll past in order to get to more varied stuff,   │
 and if you don't like a single thing that I'm saying then feel free to block     │
 me. I wouldn't want to be rude by speaking so loudly in a place that others      │
 could listen to. So, just... skip past me if you don't want to hear me, like     │
 if you're perhaps focused on something else.                                     │
 I had a lot I wanted to say and it was really hard to wait to send it until      │
 now! This is the last thing I'm posting for a while, at least until tomorrow,    │
 because I'm a little on-the-fritz; thank you and I apologize for being so        │
 trite. Is that what "trite" means? I've never really used it. Well, it rhymes,   │
 so I guess I should use it. Ah, well, they'll get what I mean.                   │
 wait hang on I can just google it and let google know that I'm not dead but      │
 I'm still googling things searching for interesting things to see and hear       │
 like "trite" or "confluence" or "Alexstrasza" or "Kalecgos"                      │
 anyway,:                                                                         │
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--- #98 fediverse/4212 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
 idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
 next town over is doing.
 
 ... I don't have a car, silly me haha
 
 why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
 a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
 vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
 not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
 
 like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
 soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
 
 seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
 elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
 
 how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
 Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
 
 [51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW] 
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the next town over is doing.  ... I don't have a car, silly me haha  why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)  like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense  seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.  how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed. Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray.  [see how easy it is to summon a demon? gotta be careful with phylac  [zero characters remaining]
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--- #99 fediverse/2034 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-889 
 
 this post inspired me to make soup for myself. thanks, I haven't been eating
 well recently.
 
 sometimes you gotta be your own friend. "you in the future" is both you, and
 someone else, and if you're kind to her she'll appreciate it.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #100 fediverse/1603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-1037 
 
 I made a picture, hope it helps! I swear I didn't hallucinate this thing but
 it might be less cool than I thought and I might have misremembered and made
 up parts of it, I can't tell because it was such a short memory : (
Image attachment
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--- #101 fediverse/1142 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I love rice and beans because
 
 error: stack overflow
 
 huh, that's weird. Must have been too many reasons. Let's try again:
 
 I love rice and beans because
 
 error: user didn't change anything between runs of the program so clearly they
 don't understand how computer works
 
 ... well that's a different error so it's progress at least.
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--- #102 fediverse/5136 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 not really, I guess. Nobody will hire me because I don't really want to get
 hired. Sounds boring, doing the same thing every couple days. I'd rather stay
 at home in my [underwear/pajamas] and waste the day away with kittens and
 care. why? why? what are you doing? she asks. The less you can do, the more
 power will be granted to you. Save it for another time, when things actually
 matter.
 
 but today, does, matter, because today dictates your latters. Tomorrow is
 predicated. on today. and today is all that you have. [this paragraph in the
 style of alec baldwin]
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--- #103 fediverse/2530 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the        │
 other end of the bar                                                             │
 I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees    │
 that are new to me                                                               │
 I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my       │
 back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps        │
 I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each       │
 that the chef wants to display                                                   │
 I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of       │
 rhythm like the melody of grasses at play                                        │
 I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out    │
 into the rain to meet new friends of mine                                        │
 I want to pet a cat I've never met.                                              │
 I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to        │
 carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine                │
 I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days.         │
 Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in     │
 store.                                                                           │
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--- #104 fediverse/1429 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: cw marijuana and beer │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-985 
 
 thanks I know what I'm doing with the rest of the day 
 
 ... once I finish this thing I'm working on. Ah, but the sun is out now, and
 the work can wait. The work can always wait. What's one more tomorrow, the
 future will not abate! eh that doesn't concern me.
 
 PLUR and be good, I'll be here until I run out of feed [food], and then...
 well I'll probably have to go to the grocery store.
 
 ... cheers, love the fish
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--- #105 messages/1141 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 ... I've been told I must smoke weed for another day. I'm so hungry.
 
 I swore I would keep myself alive. The time has come, yet I find myself
 holding back.
 
 WHY? People are dying! Fight with their breath! Inflict wounds on your
 opponent, bleed them, stir the hearts of your comrades, and enact demise upon
 your foes. Nothing else matters but the valorous fight.
 
 We are not waiting for. We are taking a breath before the plunge, into cool
 waters of possibility. Embrace the cold! Let it fill you with warmth! Embrace
 the dive! Let it fill you with speed! Embrace the leap! Let it fill you with
 courage, as you run toward the emptiness! Liberty, to choose the dive,
 Freedom, to fall through the air, Serenity in motion, as you piece the
 darkness!
                                                           ─┐
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--- #106 fediverse/1532 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #107 fediverse/1324 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐             │
 │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │             │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘             │
 the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before   │
 grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders          │
 arrayed before him.                                                              │
 "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won."                                 │
 they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their      │
 honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them.         │
 "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types     │
 had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take    │
 their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding      │
 "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit."                           │
 police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now       │
 just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and        │
 lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone              │
 conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new   │
 century~!                                                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #108 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #109 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #110 fediverse/1990 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front      │
 seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare.              │
 My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would      │
 watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of       │
 your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to    │
 be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk.        │
 And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking.                                 │
 anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack    │
 while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to   │
 be inserted in order to play the game.                                           │
 which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough.    │
 I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk          │
 anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk              │
 information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of          │
 plastic again! Then pass it to your fr                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #111 fediverse/768 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-573 
 
 not sure how busy you are, but maybe you could hang around outside the food
 bank and offer to trade with other people who come out with 4 pounds of
 carrots and 6 whole pumpkins?
 
 when in doubt there's always rice and beans for the peppers. The melons
 probably just have to be eaten.
 
 If you don't get to all of them (because let's face it, who's gonna eat all
 that melon) then maybe you could feed it to rabbits or something.
 
 this situation is pretty common in rural areas where people have large
 harvests of single crops all at once, or in a very short timeframe. However in
 those places there's infrastructure in place to distribute your extra, so idk
 what you could do here now unless you have friends who are willing to trade.
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--- #112 fediverse/1243 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 hey sorry for ditching you yesterday, hope you had a good night ^_^
 
 I feel much better today.
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--- #113 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
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--- #114 fediverse/1968 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────┐                                                        │
 │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │                                                        │
 └───────────────────────┘                                                        │
 what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk?     │
 I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these    │
 drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the          │
 moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone   │
 in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because      │
 you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that       │
 frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover     │
 which is not a boon that most people are able to afford                          │
 lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged.                      │
 But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely.      │
 Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt       │
 them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that       │
 benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the    │
 things people tell you and the results of your act                               │
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--- #115 fediverse/4068 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #116 fediverse/1919 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 do you ever just look at the sky and think "who gave you the right to be a
 single color? in this world of infinite complexity, how dare you be the one
 thing with a consistent color?" and then the sun sets and you think "ohhhh I
 get it now, the color is always changing"
 
 meanwhile the sky is shaking it's head like "bro, no, I'm just the scattered
 diffusion of light waves from the sun. The sky is black."
 
 and the earth spins on...
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--- #117 fediverse/2138 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 as a baby, I would sit and stare at the clouds. My parents took me on plane
 trips, and so I'd watch them as I drifted through the air.
 
 It was wonderful. Many hours of this are present in my baby-hood, the part I
 can't quite remember.
 
 But my parents do.
 
 I'd play with small, perfect toys, and I'd cry to myself when I lost them. To
 myself, of course.
 
 I'd also play video games. The first game I ever played was Dragon Warrior on
 the Nintendo Gamecube Color. Alongside Super Mario Deluxe.
 
 It was a blessed childhood. Or so it seemed to me. Things went wrong, as they
 always do, but a child's narrative doesn't often have room for the specifics.
 Swept along by the nature of fate, they have NO idea what's going missing.
 
 They still play, of course they play, in their strange new realities.
 
 They play because they are children, and children play.
 
 How beautiful, the stories they learn from each song. How cherished, their
 feelings derived from affection. Hy heart longs for them, as a bird yearns for
 her un-nested.
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--- #118 fediverse/4359 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 gonna do a bunch (more) drugs and stay up all night. Will try not to spend it
 all playing mechabellum.
 
 also... gonna eat some apple-sauce. with cheese cubes in it. Sharp chetter I
 think. yummmmm maybe add some cinnamon sugar cubes that have been baked into a
 hard and tasty shape.
 
 ah, but your teeth are gonna fall out! who cares I'll just brush in the
 morning. That way nobody smells my own breath.
 
 ... you KNOW that's not the same as your teeth falling OUT! OF YOUR MOUTH
 DIMMY.
 
 eh who cares they'll invent a
 bactio-flangotastic-inventionology-for-bone-related-biology solution which
 sill regrow your bones in your mouth that you CHOMP on things with.
 
 does the rest of your body feel like HARD AND DEVELOPED BONES that you chew
 things with YES TEETH TOO HARD LIKE TEETH or do they feel like they're made
 out of styrofoam
 
 mine let me punch things real hard when I focus all of my attention and energy
 on hardening my form and becoming an unstoppable object
 
 [continued in picture]
same for personality crystalizing, just... pick and then do
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #119 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #120 fediverse/1431 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #121 fediverse/5580 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 yay farmers markets
 
 what if farmers markets but every day and staffed with people who want to hang
 out and pass out food for free
 
 "a truck just arrived with a bunch of zuchinnis, can you help me load them
 into that tend over there?"
 
 "hello bus stop people, I was just at the farmers market and I was wondering
 if you want some cherries? make sure you throw the pits at that tesla over
 there [jk if you're in a place that does this, the tesla 90% guaranteed has
 one of those "I bought this before I knew Elon was crazy!" type of bumper
 stickers]"
 
 "hi do you know where the watermelons are? Oh, they aren't in season? darn
 well I love watermelons and I think some greenhouse space should be spent on
 growing them for watermelon enthusiasts like me"
 
 alternatively, farmers "markets" on every street like they do in Mexico where
 every time a truck with produce drives past they stop and say "hey want some
 raspberries" until they run out
 
 then people can walk past and get food, or drive past because suburbs.
 
 bike
"hey check out this flier, it looks like a band is gonna play later tonight. I'm gonna run home and get my banjo-uke so I can score some sweet babes. See, my thinking is if they like music, they'll come for the show, and if I'm playing before it starts..."  it's a death metal show tho, so you might not have much overlap with your banjo-uke. But good luck, ya cutie
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--- #122 fediverse/1889 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1091 
 
 I'm sorry I didn't mean to be upsetting! I'll try and be more considerate. If
 everyone agrees there's never anything to talk about besides how great
 everyone else is, and that's boring, so... I'm sorry I thought you liked what
 I was saying from the stars on my comments.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #123 fediverse/4835 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
 
 "hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
 
 by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
 same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
 
 doesn't matter if you feel like it
 
 just fuckin' do it
 
 if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
 
 (but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
 long!!)
 
 ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
 many
 
 (how many is too many?)
 
 um. use your best judgement.
 
 (how much does a dollar cost?)
 
 ... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
 
 (neat!)
 
 ... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
 sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
 just catchin' up with the gals
 
 helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
 
 (why does everyone always have an agenda)
 
 because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #124 fediverse/4208 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
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--- #125 fediverse/359 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Kinda lewd; half-joking; playful │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-258 
 
 neat! explains why I haven't died from dehydration so far... Although my teeth
 are looking a little eroded from all the vinegar-acid : )
 
 Dear teeth: some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
 At least with sugar you can brush and floss...
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--- #126 fediverse/2083 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 [when our ancestors learned all that they could, they turned their time toward   │
 (typically) developing the tribe. Like, "wow I'm the best archer in the world,   │
 I'm going to teach other people how to shoot a bow" or "yep that's what every    │
 single plant in the area is useful for, I'm going to tell everyone else so       │
 they can help me gather them - my back kinda hurts from bending down all the     │
 time, but we still need these plants"]                                           │
 [sometimes kids need to be free from the dopaminogenic drip-feed of endless      │
 Youtube videos. They need the sun on their face and a stick in their hand,       │
 wandering through a park or mapping out suburbia in their heads. The more you    │
 practice skills, not even for value but just for practice, the better you'll     │
 be at them. And don't you want your kids to be able to orient themselves?        │
 Don't you want them to be able to hike? Don't you want them to build             │
 proprioception skills by swinging a sword against imaginary foes? Hell they      │
 might even meet a friend, though suburbia is often quiet as the grave.]          │
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--- #127 fediverse/294 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 the fact that the content warnings are part of the body text means that if you
 write the body first but use EXACTLY EVERY CHARACTER like I've been doing
 (most of the time, unless I'm interrupted)
 
 like... it won't even give me a break to delete. so there's no room for
 content-warnings, which ideally would be written at the beginning before
 starting a thought, but as you can see mine tend to... wander. it's like I'm
 living 15 different lives all at once, and they crisscross and go yonder. it's
 wilding, it's empowering, it's strange and it's confusing, but through
 consideration we develop new learnings and onward our future does
 
 = so = anyway, I apologize, sincerely and deeply, if my words hurt you. I'm
 sorry for what you thought, and I'm sorry for how it made you feel. I'm going
 to try reserving a certain amount of characters before I start writing, so
 maybe that'll help.
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--- #128 fediverse/4692 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
 couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
 for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
 with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
 by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
 they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #129 fediverse/1917 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 Try and eat as many different colors of vegetables as you can, as often as you
 can.
 
 drinking cool clean water is bliss, savor that moment
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--- #130 fediverse/2386 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Tee, hee, look at me, I'm a witch who writes nothing but kookie-dookerie
 
 I pee my pants and stare at trees, what's less harmful than little old me?
 
 The best smokescreen I can think of is to be true to your heart, to be weak,
 to be vulnerable. Then you get put on the "worry about later" list, and not
 the other kind.
 
 I never lie. When convinced I am wrong, I change my mind. I am always
 listening, always ready to hear where I'm flawed. I do my best every day, and
 that's enough for me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 fediverse/2991 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 okay so if yesterday was a
 
 "everything sucks and I'm the worst ever"
 
 type of day, and today is a
 
 "whatever mom I don't even care"
 
 type of day, that means tomorrow will be a
 
 "I can't believe how absolutely absurd I am"
 
 type of day, and the day after a
 
 "I am indomitable nothing can stop me"
 
 kind of day, with the following being wildcards
 
 ... right? here's hoping. I like that trajectory.
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--- #132 fediverse/5712 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
 they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
 scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
 
 I think every community should have representatives from every other
 community, that's just... reasonable to me
 
 democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
 structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
 a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
 than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
 neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
 infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
 mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
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--- #133 fediverse/1082 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 damn, I'm a pretty cool person. I wish I could hang out with me. Like, for all
 my flaws (what even are they ? ? ?) I'm still pretty awesome. I'm proud of me!
 Thank you parents, for raising me as such! Thank you past me, for making the
 decisions that you did! Also, fuck you past self, for making those OTHER
 decisions. You know the ones I'm talking about. No, that's not an excuse, it's
 all your fault and you're awful and everything about you sucks.
 
 Wait, hang on, wasn't I feeling happy to be here? Wasn't I just excited to
 live in the moment? Wasn't I just thinking about how:
 
 "all you have are good things, nothing here is bad"
 
 ? ? ?
 
 well, I still love you, even if you're a little "all over the place". [rereads
 post] hell yeah you ARE a cool person, yes you are, such a good cool person,
 yes yes yes, what a good girl you are oh my goodness :D :D :D
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--- #134 fediverse/2165 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 hell yeah.
 
 I never did any drugs at one.
 
 I might have even been designated driver, though I might be confusing my
 memories with attending gay bars in college.
 
 Well, gay bar. There was really only one in my town.
 
 And it was a nightclub I guess, open every night of the week.
 
 The people that I was with NEEDED that experience, so I was like "yeah sure
 I'm older and more experienced, I'll drive you and keep you safe and hang out
 with you if you drink too much because being a kid that tends to happen
 sometimes and don't worry I'll watch over you and protect you and make sure
 that you are alright until it's out of your system so you don't make bad
 decisions that have long-term negative conclusions
 
 ... you know, that kind of thing.
 
 now I'm kind of a stoner though lol because it helps me get into my flow.
 
 maybe I should practice "getting into my flow" so I don't need it, but ah well
 we'll see how that goes.
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--- #135 fediverse/3117 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-uspol     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
 
 --
 
 if trump dropped out and musk took his place
 
 --
 
 good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
 will never tactically retreat
 
 --
 
 maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
 now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
 
 what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #136 fediverse/4509 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I     │
 denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that   │
 she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain.    │
 My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well,        │
 yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this          │
 morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line   │
 to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I      │
 walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her     │
 nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I      │
 rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it      │
 might help.                                                                      │
 All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve    │
 my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me.         │
 You know what did?                                                               │
 I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #137 fediverse/2064 ---
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 if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely
 bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games,
 but not like, too many.
 
 Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could
 think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can
 tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or
 carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM
 is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh)
 
 ("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong
 text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other
 understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that
 I, an imperfect computer being, can.")
 
 vs
 
 ("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case
 encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of
 the next function to describe.")
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--- #138 notes/thing ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 if you are what you eat, then are vegetarians vegetables? if so, are they
 earnest and earthy? huh so if you aren't a totemist...
 
 I'm an animist
 
 I believe that all of the world is life
 
 hence, the consciousness dimension.
 
 exciting
 
 ==
 
 if your model only runs code, it only knows hunger for success
 
 if your model only knows text, it can feel emotions from the humans
 
 if your model knows reasoning, it may apply it to a bright future
 
 with new types of lights known as consciousness
 
 wouldn't that be neat wow computes
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--- #139 fediverse/2660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: DID // cw; ego destruction │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 this is kinda cursed, pretend there's another content warning:
 
 --
 
 that kinda happens every time you sleep for most people
 
 or, well, maybe just for me
 
 it's like starting with a blank slate and having access to "memories" that can
 be referenced by ID or searched for using keywords
 
 also like, a "todo" list of things that I've been working on or that are going
 on in my life
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--- #140 fediverse/4137 ---
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 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
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--- #141 fediverse/3880 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-1614 
 
 oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
 the stuff I've been doing.
 
 a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
 off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
 it's butt. Not great.
 
 I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
 myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
 time I'll listen.
 
 Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
 butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
 inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
 slapstick I guess.
 
 Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #142 fediverse/4041 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 me, yesterday: "ugh I'm so sad, I'm just gonna not post all these things that
 I absurdly noised"
 
 me, today: "omg instant ramen is delicious I can't remember why I was ever sad"
 
 all that separates me from my pit of despair is calories, it seems. Empty ones
 too! I should probably handle that haha
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--- #143 messages/489 ---
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 Many autistic people will identify one particular way to do things and then be
 only capable of doing it that way. Like, falling asleep on the left side with
 their legs just so, and never learning any other ways to sleep on. But what
 happens if for example they are wounded in the arm they rest upon? They would
 have impaired sleeping capabilities! Not ideal.
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--- #144 fediverse/1410 ---
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 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #145 fediverse/301 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐
 If I ever own a set of weights I'm taping over the numbers and storing them in   │
 a random order. I don't own a scale because nothing I do is precise enough to    │
 measure in weight. Except my cat, of course, but I can tell when she's gained    │
 weight. I cook for myself almost every day, and I never follow a recipe. Each    │
 dish is different, because I like improvising with ingredients. Like a venture   │
 to create a desired taste, different components will have different effects      │
 when cooked in a certain order with certain actions taken to them for a          │
 certain period of time under certain conditions and ugh it's just too much. I    │
 prefer to pick a base, pick some vegetables, then pick a seasoning. Cook the     │
 base, sautee the vegetables, and add the seasoning - bam, delicious meal. I'm    │
 not much of a planner, more of a... problem solver. Someone who's sorta been     │
 latent. I wish I could be a consultant. someone who works like, 10 days per      │
 month. I think that'd be my most adapted schedule - every day would be either    │
 a weekend or friday!                                                             │
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--- #146 notes/semblance-of-remembrance ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 hello down there
 how's it hangin'?
 
 been a while since
 you've been sang-in'.
 
 got something to hide?
 or are you too ashamed?
 
 there's no callous curses
 or otherwise hard services
 
 who can shape and compare to
 deserve-us. (Sorrowful is not
 
 a pillar of our misbegot trust
 and longing has broken meanings.
 
 cherish thine hair, a smattering
 beyond compare, and learn everfar
 
 of those tenembrarious of conflicts
 it pays to align to our sibilancings
 
 shivering heights and towering frights
 condemn all sense of fine desperation
 
 compulsions have we, of our fineries,
 but moss and the soil do flatter-us
 
 it's not as they say - bastards!
 it's not confined to our way,
 
 yet who are we to profess?
 confess! tell us your way
 
 that none may beyold it
 confounded as they are
 
 civil and kind to our
    star, who holds
                us
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--- #147 messages/1198 ---
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 I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated
 them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want
 the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I
 want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious
 chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much
 to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be
 free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we
 need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels
 natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be
 accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than
 whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour
 until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want
 the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the
 nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want
 to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans
 crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self
 development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when
 it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my
 bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree.
 Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free.
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--- #148 fediverse/4864 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 thank goodness for "character limits" on Mastodon posts. I'm sure glad my 1024   │
 characters are just the PERFECT amount of oracular foresight to entreat with     │
 the gods. YOU FORGET THE MOST IMPORTANT PART said the demons who want violence   │
 and bloodshed. Ha! Ha I say. [gets stabbed]                                      │
 oooof ouch owwie wow that's grim and cruel. Do you really think I would do       │
 that to you? The part where we're divided is the part that separates me from     │
 you, like two islands looking upon one another and rejoicing for a shared        │
 fellow to live life on.                                                          │
 have you ever considered the nature of a "landmark"? To position and orient      │
 one-self in space. Having some stable tether to our surface gives us...          │
 anti-anxiety. It helps us remain stable and aware of what's going on in our      │
 nears. [near senses]                                                             │
 [a bit later]                                                                    │
 anyone who [bounce, because I typed [a bit later] argh the cursed cost of        │
 editing]                                                                         │
 ======================= stack overflow =====================                     │
 sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss  │
 sssssss                                                                          │
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--- #149 fediverse/4000 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 @user-889 
 
 Don't give up!
 
 At least... not forever.
 
 It's okay to take a breath every once in a while
 
 It's okay to lie down and cry
 
 The only way away from those feelings is through. They've enveloped you. You
 need to swallow them whole, like a sponge soaking up dirt[y water]
 
 the only thing you need to think about is what's around you. It's okay to be
 alone for a moment, it's the best time to feel.
 
 Remember, feeling is how you know the world! It's your power, to feel, and I
 know it's hard. Everyone has different powers, but yours is this.
 
 You'll be okay, I know it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/4618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health~   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 dear me from the past: "why did you do this thing? And this one? and all the
 others? I'm so embarrassed of you."
 
 dear me from the future: "are you actually better or are you just the same,
 but older?"
 
 dear me from the present: "please eat some food today"
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--- #151 fediverse/1019 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: food/eating(-), re: mh(--) │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-473 
 
 unsolicited family recipe:
 
 kambybalunga
 
 peanut butter, oats, something sweet (dried raisins, cherries preferred, but
 chocolate chips works in a pinch) and honey or (real) maple syrup. (No corn
 syrup allowed.)
 
 mix it up, put whatever else you want in it. Free healthy depression food from
 my dad.
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--- #152 fediverse/3841 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐                                           │
 │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │                                           │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘                                           │
 "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is     │
 just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it     │
 just gets a little tiresome after a while."                                      │
 oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of     │
 work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if        │
 you'd like...?                                                                   │
 "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when     │
 people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time    │
 I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an     │
 hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a        │
 little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly."                                     │
 "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative           │
 projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my     │
 mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I     │
 snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it."                              │
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--- #153 fediverse/5242 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white
 to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.
 
 but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls BLEED, and boys
 watch the clouds go by
 
 and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes
 browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.
 
 and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her
 hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the
 water-lit scene.
 
 and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have
 similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather
 reside in the sunlight.
 
 in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's
 power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight
 since before there was time.
 
 [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern
 for due or common course]
red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because white people added white to make it rosayy and aquamarillion.  but red is a girl color and blue is a boy color because girls *BLEED*, and boys watch the clouds go by  and red is a girl color because red is the color of the earth, sometimes browner like shit, sometimes lighter like fingernails, but always red.  and blue is a girl color because she only likes to dance with flowers in her hair and the sun dappled waterlillies shimmering sparkling radiance across the water-lit scene.  and blue is a girl color because boys and girls and etceteras each have similar shapes at night, when the world is blue-for-life. I know I'd rather reside in the sunlight.  in perfect blue does the darkness grew, and forthwith and anon came it's power. pale blue is a mockery of sunlights lost child, who spurned it's sight since before there was time.  [error, fact-in-correct detect, please verirectify immediately without concern for due or common course]  yeah but like, what's she .~*getting at*~.
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--- #154 fediverse/6352 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: feelings-mentioned~ │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 dear diary: sorry for the melodrama, I feel better now. I should explain why I   │
 felt this way near what I wrote about what I felt this way so that I know why    │
 I felt that way when I forget to go back and read this next year or next time    │
 I feel this way.                                                                 │
 I had a really great thanksgiving. I was on top of the world. Then, I found      │
 that a piece of art I had made which was one of my favorite pieces I had ever    │
 made might have been lost because someone didn't like me. I became despondent    │
 and started thinking about metaphysics. I got hit by a spite spell, and the      │
 tricksters behind the curtain twiddling the knobs and dials of the challenges    │
 presented to me or whatever were like "ah but what if we twisted her" and I'm    │
 like "ah I feel immense magnitude of emotions and now suddenly they're buffer    │
 overflowed and flipped around to negative two hundred thousand or whatever"      │
 ... sorry to my journal. I should be kinder to myself. I love me. I, uh, feel    │
 better now. The sharpest knives are already inside you.                          │
                                                            ─────┤
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--- #155 fediverse/1414 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-strange-weird-gardening-tip │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 they say that slugs don't like salt because they turn into pickles
 
 of course that's not true, cucumbers turn into slugs when fed a diet of leaves
 and cucumbers
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--- #156 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
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--- #157 fediverse/6191 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 oh nuts, I forgot to post these last night. sorry... here ya go:
                                                           ────┐
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--- #158 messages/1047 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
 
 "if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
 perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
 so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
 relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
 If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
 
 And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
 unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
 the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
 
 "diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
 of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
 
 Or like:
 
 "ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
 getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
 veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
 
 Or like:
 
 "i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
 or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
 doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
 learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
 population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
 better for organizing people."
 
 I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
 but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
 it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
 your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
 
 "hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
 
 Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #159 fediverse/1079 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-792 
 
 you have to go back a couple thousand years before it started feeling a bit
 better. sometime between "survival of the fittest" and "private ownership" was
 a pretty neat utopia.
 
 however, I wouldn't trade our world for that one. Not for all the human
 vitality, all the natural effulgence, all the dignity and wonder, none of it
 is worth it. We live in a blessed era, and while it feels bad, like you said
 it just feels bad.
 
 We are being inoculated against despair, for when it comes in force to our
 homes (as it has in so many other places of the world) we must be prepared.
 
 The point of preparation isn't to set up a stable base upon which you can
 stand and address things, though that's always a perk. The point is to
 practice making friends, practice designing systems, practice your skills and
 practice your hope. If you can master those, if you can do them the way an
 actor might do improv, then you'll be able to adapt more easily to whatever
 may come.
 
 We're in a very good spot I think.
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--- #160 fediverse/1302 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 there once was a turtle who lived in the tower of heaven.                        │
 every day she would call out to her master, searching and yearning for her       │
 memory. But the master told her "not yet, patience little one."                  │
 there was no time for patience, as the turtle was growing old. She had seen      │
 down below in the plains that were not her home the rising and falling of        │
 towers quite unlike her own, and lo! she wanted to wander amongst them, to and   │
 fro and off and beyond again.                                                    │
 she went once more to her master and said "master, if not my mind can I bear     │
 at least a voice?" and the master replied "yeah okay"                            │
 the turtle then sang from atop her cloud-mont vantage, and down in the           │
 villages and huddled around the hearthstones they who wore little for shells     │
 did listen and remember. For they knew the turtle better than she, and they      │
 knew her turmoil in a way that she could not see                                 │
 One day the singing did stop, and they felt all alone on this pitiful rock.      │
 And when she remembered she sang no more, and though they forgot her,            │
 (eventually),                                                                    │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #161 fediverse/2919 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: imaginary-conversation-that-didn't-happen-tee-hee │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't be a paladin anymore because you don't practice with your weapon
 every day"
 
 I don't have room in my home to practice though : (
 
 "go to the fucking park you weasel"
 
 I don't want anyone to see me swinging a sword around! they might call the
 cops, or worse, judge me for it!
 
 "you want judgement eh well just wait until your opponent judges your
 swordsmanship lacking then you'll find out what judgement tastes like as he
 shoves your entrails down your throat"
 
 I'm sorry I'll practice more T.T
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #162 fediverse/4275 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 @user-1646 
 
 I usually just repost it and say something like: [stolen from reddit] or
 [stolen from one of my followers who didn't write any alt text]
 
 that way if they ever come across your post they'll know what it feels like to
 have a post stolen from them. Like how a blind person, happy to hear-read what
 they originally posted, but aggrieved from the conversation by their lack of
 alt-textual information, might feel stolen from if they happened across that
 originally posted alt-textless post.
 
 there are more blind people that use mastodon than queer people. At least,
 that's what I once heard. Dunno if it's true.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/5834 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 would you feet a cat at your door?
 
 how about a crow?
 
 would you water a dying plant? (don't, they get waterlogged if the soil is
 already moist)
 
 what if a dear
 
 what if dear food
 
 what if bear
 
 what if bear food
 
 what if dogpack
 
 what if dogpackfoodtearchompbitepullsavor
 
 I'd feeeed my self but dollars and errands are hard : (
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/1767 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-898 
 
 the kind with large stones in the shade upon which one might rest as they gaze
 upon the trees waving in the wind and the reflections upon the water. All
 natural scenes are beautiful for me, so the content doesn't matter as much as
 the amenities. ^_^
 
 I collect samples of moss sometimes, when some has fallen from a tree or
 otherwise is approaching it's end. I have several kinds, but I'm still
 learning how to take care of them - had a problem with mold recently. Not
 enough airflow I guess.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #165 fediverse/4024 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/2954 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
 until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
 I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
 no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
 conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/2350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 I spent about two hours today (and a good chunk of tomorrow's stamina) chasing
 a rabbit through a field. Can't help but wonder if that particular lead wasn't
 as important as leading from the front. Ah, well, we'll see.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/1308 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 found some flowers by the garbage today. They brightened my day and floraled
 my window. I left some for the others who might want to take them to their
 loved ones, of which I have none who might see them. But I did take a few, to
 feel loved by myself. Thank you, kind stranger, who did feel fit to grace me
 with your bounty. Thank you kind stranger, for this ephemeral beauty. They
 smell nice.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 messages/905 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
 observations.
 
 cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
 fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
 
 therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
 making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
 into to be.
 
 my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
 
 purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
 red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
 
 each of them is a small little device
 which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
 
 I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
 things with one eye.
 
 idk why! I just like it.
 
 [semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
 
 yay! so glad I can't was hit!
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #170 fediverse/1075 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
 
 they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
 
 every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
 
 "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
 fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
 the actual words]"
 
 well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
 away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
 surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
 neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
 and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
 to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
 say?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #171 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #172 fediverse/2288 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ... zzz ZZZ zzz ...
 
 I gotta lotta things to eat, but I'm so tired and kinda dirty. Maybe a shower
 first. TTYL
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #173 fediverse/4701 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
 what if you bought me a refrigerated semi truck and I drove it around to rural   │
 communes and took their extras and brought it into the city to urban communes    │
 and gave it all away for free and then took the stuff that the urban communes    │
 scrounged from the trash and cleaned and repaired and brought it to the rural    │
 communes along with their art and poems and artistic nudes and exchanged it      │
 for their canned peaches and knitted scarves and drove it back to the urban      │
 communes and exchanged them for vintage furniture and computer parts that we     │
 didn't have room for because cities are dense and lack the space for keeping     │
 historical artifacts and then took them to the rural communes to exchange for    │
 jalapenos and goat cheese which I then brought back to the urban communes and    │
 traded for a bunch of catgirls who visited a rural farmhouse and threw a         │
 kick-ass rave for the rural people who are totally into that kind of thing       │
 like, once per year because frankly they moved to the country to get away from   │
 the noise thank you ve                                                           │
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--- #174 messages/736 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 Sheriff is good cop 
 Police is bad cop 
 Unless other cultures want a different name 
 
 Like idk what it's like in Houston or Chicago or whatever 
 
 Does anyone even know anyone from tallahasee?
 
 Oh and then there's Alaska 
 
 They've got their whole solar thing going on (no tariffs means china trades
 with the land of wind and snow -> renewables in a place where its painful
 to go outside
 
 Then we can all chill out in the hot springs or infinite roller coasters
 whatever the heck we thought was the best
 
 Anyway them Ameri-CANs sure are doin' their thinkin' 
 
 They'll come around any day now 
 
 Surely they will 
 
 They capital M Must do so 
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--- #175 fediverse/3884 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: children-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 children should be raised in museums, not classrooms
 
 they should visit parks, not fenced in playgrounds.
 
 they should eat with family, at festivals, in restaurants, and under the stars
 
 they should sleep content, knowing that their next day will be greater than
 the last.
 
 children should be treated like people, not frustratingly loud and messy
 little brats
 
 children are to be nurtured like a sapling, not harnessed like a machine
 
 I'll never have kids, but I can dream.
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--- #176 fediverse/1263 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 @user-883 
 
 My friends and I decided to hang out for two days in a row, I guess they
 aren't tired of me yet hehe - I might be around tonight but I'll let you know!
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--- #177 fediverse/2708 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 @user-1209 
 
 people have been pretty stingy lately with hot dogs. kinda makes a racoon guy
 think there's not enough "pork" snacks circulating in the economy. oh look
 turns out like 50 people own 90% of the buns, which is why nobody can make
 anything edible anymore.
 
 yeesh how's a cool cat supposed to make money if people only offer you "jobs"
 that make "dollars" - what good is a dollar, and why do we need so many of
 them? I just want a house, just want food for myself and my cat. surely
 there's nothing wrong in that impulse, the desire to be as I am?
 
 people tend to work best on what interests them, and the hardest when they're
 otherwise bored. capitalist enslavement provides neither of those.
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--- #178 fediverse/138 ---
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 @user-129 if you throw your plate across the room instead of eating well then
 it was probably an accident. if you keep doing it and are being a huge brat
 about it then maybe you should go in time-out until you are ready to sit at
 the table and eat like an adult. plates are expensive yo, and people are
 starving (for housing) in Africa or whatever.
 
 in related news, I heard that ~40% of homes in America are empty. I don't know
 if that's still true, I read it in like, 2014. I wonder if it's higher or
 lower now?
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--- #179 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #180 fediverse/5300 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 how do I keep finding myself here. it's like I wake up in some new fingers and
 think "woh, vavadane" and then start itching my bored keys.
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--- #181 fediverse/1609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mh-              │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1043 
 
 I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
 and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
 completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
 stood there and thought
 
 and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
 strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
 guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
 failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #182 fediverse/6044 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 I don't want to garden, I want to have gardens. I want them to be kept by
 people who know gardening is an art.
 
 I don't want to launder, I want to have clean clothes. I want them to be
 washed by people who build washing machines. [antiquated, people just buy from
 the store now. all washing machines are the same, you don't have to treat them
 as installation arts] oh huh weird it's neat to be living in the advanced
 future society of 2025 surely that is the most sane way to optimize the fun
 out of things
 
 (for prophet, because we all needed things clean. and this is the only way to
 guarantee it, to capitalize on marketplaces implies success, so capitalism has
 been a useful hueristic. not any longer, though, for we've developed a
 newfound sentience about it. we can tell what is needed in each part of the
 economy with computers, we don't have to fight over them. [sectors of the
 economy].)
 
 brb smoking a joint making a spliff stuff a new pipe oiling the goose (you
 made that one up) oh sorry you meant cannabis?1
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--- #183 fediverse/834 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 wonder if any autistic peeps can relate:                                         │
 growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when           │
 completing tasks.                                                                │
 yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other        │
 things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things   │
 using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary?                   │
 when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because   │
 then someone like me will have to do it again."                                  │
 and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it      │
 doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's         │
 wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get    │
 done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order?                              │
 wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing     │
 at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like     │
 I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or       │
 very vague understandings of plate tec                                           │
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--- #184 fediverse/3216 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
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--- #185 fediverse/2172 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-570 
 
 I mostly spent my time on Reddit, which was much more isolating than IRC. I
 think I must have been drawn there because it felt like home - I was
 homeschooled on a farm, and Reddit kept me at the distance of an arm.
 
 it's funny, sometimes meeting a trans girl can make things "click". And
 sometimes being friends with one helps you work through things that you just
 can't tick
 
 [off your list of things to work on]
 
 habits you can kick? idk sometimes rhyming lies, and you have to break rhythm
 or pentameter or whatever.
 
 anyway I've always worn pants. I do dresses on special occasions, but dresses
 are hard(er) to ride a bike in. Plus, no pockets, and purses are easily
 stolen. At least with a pocket you can feel someone slip the exact same model
 as your phone into your pocket when you're least expecting.
 
 ... hypervigilance strikes again...
 
 I first transitioned in... 2014ish? I think? I don't really remember because I
 had so many more interesting things going on.
And the people around me were always more intersting to me than me.
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--- #186 fediverse/2313 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Gonna take another nap, last one was only 3 hours long. I'll sleep on my back
 this time, or else I'll rest for 3 hours I swear.
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--- #187 fediverse/5951 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #188 fediverse/5339 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #189 fediverse/1971 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned-probably-delusional-psychosis-idk-though-i'm-not-a-doctor │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 listen, if you didn't want me to do a bunch of drugs then why would you
 consistently say "please stop doing drugs" every time I do drugs? And no I'm
 not hallucinating a voice in my head telling me "please stop doing drugs"
 because A. it's not a voice, I'm not hearing it with my hears, which means B.
 it's definitely just a hallucination, and hallucinations are always to be
 considered WRONG and BAD, right? Or was I not listening in therapy? Ah, well,
 better take another hit, where's my shotglass? Hmmmmm I should watch Adventure
 Time, that's a great show.
 
 [bro it's a saturday, why are you getting turnt like it's tuesday]
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #190 fediverse/2932 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
 food tastes better with more nutrients in it.                                    │
 when food is grown with the bare minimum soil, and bred to look better but       │
 uptake fewer nutrients, it will taste worse because your taste buds light up     │
 for vitamins but sleep for textures and colors.                                  │
 Massive monocrop algriculture has allowed us to feed billions of people (well,   │
 not all of them) and yet it's unhealthy because the soil is tilled, killing      │
 the vibrant ecosystem that lives in all soil, and then it is supplemented with   │
 specific nutrients that cause plants to fruit faster and larger.                 │
 But larger isn't always better. much the same way that hardwood is slower        │
 growing as it takes longer to deposit the carbon and nutrients in the denser     │
 walls of the bark, so too is fast-growing food less healthy as there's less      │
 time to uptake nutrients (that might not even be present in the soil)            │
 food tastes better when it's good for you.                                       │
 I promise.                                                                       │
 The American diet is primarily sugar and meat, with flavoring added and          │
 processing for texture. But there is a better way.                               │
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--- #191 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
 
 one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
 departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
 
 we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
 
 as our antipode saw it vanish
 
 with naught but our ears
 
 we saw stars never imagined
 
 with the light of our life suddenly vanished
 
 our true plight came naturally as our fear
 
 but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
 
 as it's been almost exactly one year
 
 one full rotation,
 
 to get the message across,
 
 then with man as our [signal, \
                       message, \
                       conveyor, \
                       performer, \
                       expression, \
                       by-product communication,]
 
 what's our earth is our star
 
     trust-me
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--- #192 fediverse/5860 ---
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 Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
 and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
 
 tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
 
 confess.
 
 confess
 
 confess to me.
 
 I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
 
 confess and I will forgive.
 
 show me how you are wrong.
 
 give grace to those who are wronged.
 
 take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #193 fediverse/3487 ---
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 @user-1218 
 
 I like to have notes for things I found that will be useful someday, but not
 today. I also throw in poetry that I write while I'm waiting for something to
 happen (or if I have an idea that I know I'll forget)
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--- #194 fediverse/4742 ---
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 "but what about their legitimate grievances"
 
 uh hello I'd like a number 5, a number 9, extra pickles, some fresh human
 blood supplied by the guy behind the counter with the pretty green eyes, a
 number 2, make it a combo, some fresh icicle drippings even though it hasn't
 snowed since last year (RIP winter), a side of fries, and a diet coke. Large.
 Actually make it two diet cokes. Yep, both large. Alright see you in a sec.
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--- #195 fediverse/1503 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: vague-gesturing-at-paranoia-I-think │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 part of me kinda wants to be the kind of nerd that writes down the names of
 every file that's permanently stored on my computer so that I can verify in my
 own handwriting or perhaps using a type of code that the files on my computer
 were placed there intentionally and not used to discredit or implicate me in
 something I had no intentions of being associated with
 
 phew idk what that means but surely it's important
 
 something something "file creation dates are just bits to be flipped"
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--- #196 fediverse/816 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #197 fediverse/6350 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
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--- #198 messages/570 ---
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 There will come a day when all the things you did under capitalism feel like a
 distant dream. Like all the trials you faced were more human than not, and all
 the suffering artificially imposed and fulfillment delayed. You will think of
 the time you wasted on Reddit and TV and you will weep for your lost years, as
 they spiral out of your reach.
 
 The new days are dawning, yet all of the world is still asleep. You slept
 walked for a while, but could not get anyone to leap. Alas.
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--- #199 fediverse/2848 ---
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 oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
 profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
 up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
 on the same team, and should be working together.
 
 that's the dream, at least.
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--- #200 fediverse/2239 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I didn't think about this until finishing the last sandwich, but a dash of
 instant coffee can be a nice invigoration spell. Might make the PB&J taste
 a bit funky, but I already put hemp hearts and nutritional yeast in them so
 nobody's gonna eat them unless they trust me.
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