=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/627 ---
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 and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home?    │
 wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've   │
 gotta be addressed as such.                                                      │
 right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore,   │
 I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all       │
 imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is     │
 actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever        │
 travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as   │
 the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards    │
 into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to    │
 add?                                                                             │
 oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will   │
 that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality       │
 from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with    │
 day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som                     │
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--- #2 fediverse/736 ---
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 @user-556                                                                        │
 Escape to where? Perhaps to our own desired future, the "garden of eden" in      │
 our solarpunk dreams. So, the Labyrinth in the Death Gate Cycle, before all      │
 the monsters crept in and ruined it for everyone. Like, a projection of heaven   │
 onto the matter of our future (spiritual beings projecting "up" on the axis of   │
 time (which, obviously, looks a little like a corkscrew, because it's the        │
 earth rotating around the sun. It wibbles and it wobbles ever so                 │
 imperceptibly, but if we look out from the equator we see a map of "us" which,   │
 of course, runs out of imagined futures for it's denizens (as nothing can ever   │
 be thought twice)                                                                │
 sometimes I'm thankful for my poor memory, it allows me to lead where I please.  │
 when the trees of valinor burn, light is projected out into the night.           │
 strange, how these streetlamps, are hovering and fixed in one place. How could   │
 a rabbit know that a streetlight, anchored as it is in one place, could          │
 somehow become a radiant pillar of light? How strange, this form of worship,     │
 alas.                                                                            │
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--- #3 fediverse/6271 ---
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 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
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--- #4 fediverse/5339 ---
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 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
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--- #5 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
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 game mechanics are easily transferrable.
 
 you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
 for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
 
 = etc
 
 i am the face the gods hide behind
 
 they kinda want to see where this goes
 
 and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
 just life
 
 it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
 
 so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
 
 because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
 where
 we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
 in our wavelengths.
 
 may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
 di
 
 anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
 what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
 improv
 
 you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
 about
 my idea which is clearly
 all===============================================stack
  overflow ==================
 
                             So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
                             say
 we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #6 notes/fractured-moon ---
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 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #7 fediverse/4200 ---
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 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
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 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #8 notes/schooling ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #9 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #10 notes/one-day ---
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 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #11 fediverse/5615 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 there's no such thing as "gods of the war" or "gods of the grand harvest"
 because those events recur infinitely.
 
 similarly, there are no "gods of war" or "gods of prosperity" because those
 conditions occur somewhere each and every moment.
 
 similarly, there are no "temples of religion" or "statements to complexity",
 because those institutions are present in each and every [monetution/ummm like
 repositories of belief? conditions of logic built into human structural
 organizations? I dunno, it probably means something.]
 
 similarly, [oh god there's another one] there are no "statements of
 absolution" or "confessing of sins" => you are what you are, and what you
 are is the product of your intentions. [intentions / conditions / constitution]
 
 the gods of time are not lords over all of the cosmos, they rule as their
 savior in each and every moment that comes through [you, but pronounced the
 perciever]
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--- #12 fediverse/999 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-246 @user-473 
 
 there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
 convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
 bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
 
 I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
 of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
 can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
 people you and me.
 
 those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
 of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
 especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
 not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
 
 also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
 ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
 that our meanings are lacking.
 
 [ran out of text]
picture of a saddle shaped graph with a line drawn between the two high points, front and back if it were on an actual horse, but the part where your butt goes. anyway there's text that says "from one gravity well to another" a picture on it's side of one of the graphs posted on the website. I don't quite understand it enough to compare it directly (the math is a bit above my head) but it reminds me of two graphs I made (well, same graph, just with different visualizations) from a few months ago when I was thinking about prime numbers. You might be interested. Here are their links:  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/qljvhpkqzd  and  https://www.desmos.com/calculator/mt6hasfcvm  ... hope you can copy that from there, if not... sorry this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph.  2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why"  3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me.  error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line]  okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter: visual representation of the conversation I saw and responded to. I think you two are the coolest! heart emojis, flashing passionate excitement brought on by a feeling like you'd get when fangirling over something except like, more low key because I'm in control of my emotions or whatever. gonna put this in a direct message though since it somehow feels... personal? sorry. you can block me if you don't like me. I promise I don't mind. I want to send it to the other person too hope that's cool with you. Just because it was your two conversation and I'm just dropping in because I'm always butting in to public things on the internet. Guess that's just something I picked up on Reddit, where you're encouraged to contribute to the conversation. Though I wish it was easier to view threads on Mastodon, sometimes it feels like it's easy to lose the track of where you were going when the structure of the medium diverts your attention elsewhere. alas, I am not a designer, just a complainer and a whiner I guess. I'm sleepy. sorry to bother you.
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--- #13 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #14 notes/dreams-align ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 just as a dream, the spirit is seen
 within is the mind
 that lives as it defines.
 
 what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 can grow beauty that beyond compare
 
 and with sparsely a finger to spare,
 journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
 with almost all of your hair
 
 beauty in tender, most cherished things,
 a wish is much fair
 where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
 
 Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
 and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
 giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
 
 (like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
 prism)
 
 not only is ethics paramount,
 but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
 would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
 
 a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
 a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
 but without paladins and warriors of devotion
 
 what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 requires a little bit of trust
 
 in she who must be, with only circumstance to
 blame,
 seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
 
 care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
 and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
 and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
 
 what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
 our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
 but only of our future children.
 
 who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
 are beyond the simple machinations,
 of those who came before-ya.
 
 And with once again perfection in mind,
 we understand and take what's behind,
 to deserts and temples of time much designed,
 
 by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
 the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
 implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
 
 inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
 (pitching yourself is hard)
 but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
 
 can you think of a bard,
 who ever stopped thinking their song?
 no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
 
 than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
 the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
 given as faith of cooperation and trust.
 
 with our all arrayed as we must,
 keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #15 fediverse/3314 ---
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 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #16 fediverse/4031 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
 imagine yourself slaying it
 
 ... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
 gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
 and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
 tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
 at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
 from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
 you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
 
 if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #17 fediverse/908 ---
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 @user-246                                                                        │
 toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark       │
 "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things"      │
 feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you       │
 push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's   │
 conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother            │
 starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts!                                  │
 Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can   │
 follow in it's radiant footsteps.                                                │
 Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things    │
 after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases    │
 the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes   │
 you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have   │
 no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the        │
 results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the          │
 affected of the                                                                  │
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--- #18 fediverse/4654 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
 cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
 definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
 spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
 that be?? [that guide me??]
 
 who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
 mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
 for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
 year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
 I couldn't walk.
 
 [girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #19 fediverse/4188 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I think too fast. If given unlimited power, I'd literally think myself into
 catastrophe because I need to explore all the possible alternatives. Including
 the catastrophe ones. But by thinking something, you manifest it - because you
 have unlimited power, right? EVERYTHING you do is powerful. There's no way to
 control that! So it cannot be, for it has not been. And surely, surely, shall
 not either. Surely, right?
 
 ... good news is you can undo it just as easily, all you have to do is forget
 what you were doing and go back to your neutral state. Sure would be neat if
 some kind of machination or parasite could hit your reset switch every couple
 hours when you started to think too hard. Maybe like... a little octopus
 living under your witch hat. Super chibi and cute - it'd like, tap on your
 head to go one way or the other, and in conversations it'd pull your hair if
 you were being a jerk. Stuff like that.
 
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes -> don't give anyone unlimited power like a
 god-emperor or king, trust me
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--- #20 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
 religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
 responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
 would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
 alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
 exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
 thing - an experience.
 
 Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
 We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
 We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
 kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
 property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
 general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
 perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
 approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
 
 There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
 cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
 hundreds
 of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
 get faster.
 
 Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
 nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
 gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
 
 Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
 may
 ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
 rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
 this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
 
 Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
 when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
 universe looks like.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #21 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
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--- #22 fediverse/5636 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
 screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
 
 and all they saw were the outtakes.
 
 I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
 
 but they never talk to me
 
 so they don't know me.
 
 oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
 
 who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
 story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #23 fediverse/1317 ---
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 ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school.       │
 again.                                                                           │
 how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me.      │
 wish I could code my own horoscope >.>                                           │
 o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on    │
 your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you       │
 please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter             │
 conditions, surely a bit would suffice.                                          │
 c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been   │
 told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem    │
 to [stack overflow]                                                              │
 what's time if not the present amiright                                          │
 ...                                                                              │
 anyway...                                                                        │
 it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's    │
 just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization,       │
 it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's   │
 a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter   │
 at heart I guess                                                                 │
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--- #24 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #25 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #26 notes/hubris ---
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 the difference between a martyr and a suicide is the scale of affection felt by
 the subject. and if not felt, then recieved. and if not recieved, then
 projected toward. the two are one and the same, but one can make an impact
 while the other is just another tuesday.
 
 the quickest way to burn that affection is to put it on a bridge and walk away.
 
 did you know that everything small is just a smallish version of something big?
 
 what do you want? is desire a factor in your decision making, or are you under
 the pretense of possessing free will? they are mutually exclusive, though it
 may seem impossible.
 
 the quickest way to inconspicuoity is to proclaim yourself as god, and then
 make no effort whatsoever to proving that claim. in innocuity there is safety,
 and with safety comes the solitude necessary to think and develop. belief
 comes from within, because everything small is just a smallish version of
 something big.
 
 create the belief you desire, and harbor no doubts - they are anathemity to
 obscuriousness. the quickest way to find the correct answer on the internet is
 to post an incorrect solution - any question requires an investment of time to
 answer, but correcting a peer is less an investment and more a hobby for most.
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--- #27 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
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--- #28 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #29 fediverse/2119 ---
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 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #30 fediverse/196 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-and-strikes-and-mergers-and-acquisitions │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 economic warfare involves the destruction of other corporations (possibly in
 other countries) via a slow march toward haegemony.
 
 unions are the ships of the tumultuous capitalistic seas that protect workers
 from the storm. everyone should be a part of a union. the corporations can
 battle as they will, but we humans are not going to turn on each other. it's
 something they claim to know as an absolute fact, but really it's just based
 on a mistake. sorta like being deceived by happenstance.
 
 the sun lights up the sky until the earth conceals it, and night does return
 'till the sky's next alive. oh, but the sky knows all too well the borders we
 draw in the sand. how cherished, how grand! the ways in which we choose to
 stand. upon whose land does your feet stand? marvelous.
 
 ... it's the same thing, just in a more abstract plane than the surface of the
 earth. really it's kinda one-dimensional (money is sorta like a 0 or a 1 - you
 eather have it or you don't)
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--- #31 fediverse/5660 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
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--- #32 notes/conservative-ideation ---
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 a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
 room,
 has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
 job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
 end
 of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
 face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
 car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
 I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
    essentially becomes 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
 should
 be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
 is
 cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
 - meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
 time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
 their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
 the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
 establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
 people
 ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
 mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
 more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
 we're overflowing, 
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
 matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is 
 aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
 squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
 impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
 
 times tables
 
 addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
 subtraction
 is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
 particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
 apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
 
 what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 answer: s    t             n   a       lp
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
 the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
 Each
 half has it's own animation, and it's 
 
 ===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
 manifestatio
 of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
 around
 it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
 understoo
 
 ========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
 =======
 
 the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 < watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #33 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #34 fediverse/2056 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 sometimes I think about how you can store number values in letters, in           │
 addition to numbers. Like, ascii values for each word of your grandma's maiden   │
 name. All you have to do is encode it, and suddenly "44 means something          │
 different than Q"                                                                │
 if I showed up at your place and used your username as a password to a public    │
 key I'm showing you in my hand, would you trust me then? Would you trust if we   │
 ran the simulation on your computer versus mine? Would you trust if I had        │
 never told you I knew where you lived?                                           │
 ... probably, tbh, I'm desperate for adventure. Though I got some good things    │
 going for me, so you'll have to convince me. (not the right attitude in an       │
 election year, just saying)                                                      │
 why are elections so perilous this is NOT what democracy is designed for         │
 when kids cry in preschool, they're sent to a different room (or put outside)    │
 until they stop making noise and ruining it for others. That's just natural,     │
 like "hey baby let's walk around the block while I bounce you on my shoulder     │
 and hum calming music to                                                         │
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--- #35 fediverse/2137 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe             │
 whatever's going on in their emotions.                                           │
 "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong   │
 or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going     │
 on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view."                               │
 truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum      │
 traversal record to travel through time.                                         │
 Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE     │
 EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you   │
 NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the       │
 terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A          │
 MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT.                                          │
 Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in       │
 experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the     │
 moment.                                                                          │
 BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled       │
 card game                                                                        │
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--- #36 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
 a paladin.
 
 the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
 dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
 
 wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
 advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
 a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
 something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
 utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #37 notes/running-with-rifles ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 this game is what we are missing
 thank goodness for that
 for if this is missing in our timeline
 we'll be better off at last
 we can have games, stories, and practice wars
 but none of them are precious
 precious implies worth
 they are worth nothing but entertainment
 no problem solving utility
 nothing of value
 save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
 from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
 
 anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
 you why it's a HORRID THING
 that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
 
 bye
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--- #38 fediverse/4881 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
 part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
 is your job even for?
 
 hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
 building up our capabilities as the human race.
 
 you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
 place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
 work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
 solve them again!
 
 enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
 moon style structure.
 
 like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
 hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
 they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
 
 OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
 and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #39 fediverse/1417 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
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--- #40 fediverse/628 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 eone who engaged first with the brain. Like... Electricity could be perceived
 from an entirely different direction of reality, and we'd have no way to know.
 That's just an example - could do gravity, or light, or any other extremely
 elemental thing that we know.
 
 MATERIALS, PERHAPS? PERHAPS THE STATURE OF YOUR KIND, THE WORLD THAT YOU'VE
 LEFT BEHIND, HAS ALWAYS HELD REASON AT IT'S OWN BREAST? [fore-most, I think]
 
 right so sorry for being mentally ill on your timeline, it will happen again
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--- #41 fediverse/1532 ---
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 modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner"                        │
 they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I       │
 see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about   │
 the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or      │
 "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way.    │
 That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget    │
 him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?"    │
 or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself,         │
 though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this      │
 part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they       │
 need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started."     │
 or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can      │
 help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about        │
 going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots."                               │
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--- #42 fediverse/1715 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 true, but what is a poem if not a silly construction of phrases? Those words
 don't belong together, what are you doing! And yet it fills you will a feeling
 that the author intended, thus being poetry as a joke.
 
 problem is if everyone says the same joke, it gets kinda... old... hence why
 you should express yourself as much as you can.
 
 I wonder if fewer people are "alternative" these days because they all started
 hanging out on the internet and trying to differentiate themselves amongst
 each other instead of amongst "normal people"? Weird thought, srry haha
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--- #43 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #44 messages/665 ---
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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--- #45 fediverse/804 ---
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 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #46 fediverse/2128 ---
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 I love petting dogs on walks! Unless their owner seems to be in a hurry, which
 they often do if they aren't outside to enjoy the scenery, but rather to get
 through the next part.
 
 people walking up to a dog owner and asking to pet their dog is part of the
 scenery. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it.
 
 (but often, I'm on my way somewhere else, which is a blessed opportunity that
 you can only get if you live on the opposite end from your destination of a
 trail.)
 
 We should have trails in ALL DIRECTIONS from ALL PLACES to ALL PLACES.
 Otherwise, you won't see people and connect to them face-to-face. All you see
 is a front-bumper, the sparkling of a reflection off the light as it's casting
 a beam from the other direction (where the car it's reflecting off of is) ah
 yes the "car" that it's reflecting - that person yeah them right there! You'll
 never know them. Of course not, they're way over there.
 
 But they exist, just as you and just as I, and that's part of being part of a
 life.
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--- #47 fediverse/364 ---
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 okay here's an idea, waterfall project management where the program is           │
 developed one tiny piece at a time while being streamed to the entire company.   │
 Everyone would submit answers which could be upvoted / patched / rewritten as    │
 the main viewer cycles through each aspect of the project, checking for          │
 updates to it's design that were suggested by developers or whatever.            │
 Basically, one person (or one team) gets to write the actual source code,        │
 while everyone else is just offering suggestions. You could break it up by       │
 specialty, but the whole point is that everyone gets a complete picture of how   │
 the program (and organization) is structured. Which should give the employees    │
 more power to generate value for the company. All around a good deal I think?    │
 Especially if the main viewer took time to explain each and every part so that   │
 every viewer had the chance to understand.                                       │
 the reason why order is important is that our actions ripple through eternity.   │
 we must set a good example for all the baby aliens, don't you think?             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #48 messages/1249 ---
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 a shockingly large amount of people think "if my people were in power,
 things'd be all okay [groupthink]". The truth is more similar than you'd
 expect, because whenever "a group takes over" what really happens is all the
 groups are shuffled, and people find themselves in social bubbles that align
 to their focus in life, and suddenly there's not "[y/our]" side but instead
 "this side and that side" or "that side and this side and that side and this
 side" or "that side and this side and her side and downside and rightside and
 [up/down] and pivot and roll and deploy aieriolons and other things that help
 the pilot guide their flight through the spacesound.
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--- #49 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
                                                           ──┐
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--- #50 messages/416 ---
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 Do you ever wonder why you can't remember anything after being stoned? Why the
 words you write down, oh so profound in the moment, turn to silliness and
 illusion upon coming off your high mont-vantage? Of course, dear reader,
 because all things are defined in waves.
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--- #51 fediverse/1990 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front      │
 seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare.              │
 My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would      │
 watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of       │
 your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to    │
 be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk.        │
 And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking.                                 │
 anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack    │
 while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to   │
 be inserted in order to play the game.                                           │
 which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough.    │
 I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk          │
 anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk              │
 information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of          │
 plastic again! Then pass it to your fr                                           │
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--- #52 fediverse/852 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: cognitohazard    │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T                          │
 like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly                                        │
 doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being   │
 said.                                                                            │
 but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other   │
 times it's just a little annoying.                                               │
 BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that       │
 people are saying.                                                               │
 the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth   │
 at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking   │
 at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would       │
 they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or      │
 whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer             │
 everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide   │
 from the sun.                                                                    │
 downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare    │
 to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info                │
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--- #53 fediverse/825 ---
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 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #54 fediverse/5951 ---
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 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm always often
 smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 meow
 
 what if... they could do that? insert magical genie witch whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #55 fediverse/2558 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks          │
 outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire.         │
 like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful     │
 parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken     │
 up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the   │
 middle of the night type of thing might display.                                 │
 like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like,      │
 what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes     │
 and your kid's toes too                                                          │
 so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with     │
 talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable.            │
 diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if     │
 you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid   │
 that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your   │
 best judgement. meet in middle.                                                  │
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--- #56 fediverse/4762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
 that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
 around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
 era where that's the way to go about it.
 
 But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
 someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
 leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
 valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
 concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
 
 ... what
 
 ... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
 goes in computation.
 
 ... makes sense to me...
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--- #57 fediverse/4137 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 hmmm, I don't know that word. I bet I can type it into wikipedia and get a
 pretty good understanding of what it means. Is it a craft? A science? or part
 of your renown? who can say. Well, Wikipedia can say, and so can you if you
 want to learn stuff about the internet.
 
 Like... what else are ya gonna do, right? Life is long and you get so many
 moments to yourselves. How lovely of a life is the world meant to be...
 
 except all you ever post about is strife. GRRRRR [like a dog or toddler] it's
 so frustrating how you can't just all get along! It's like you've all gotten
 into a fight with one another somewhere in your ancestral past where you
 couldn't decide who should do what. So you just said everyone should always
 work as hard as they can, and that worked pretty well! But, alas, most people
 want to do drugs and gaze at the pretty dewdrops on the neighborhood well. And
 that gets annoying after a while, especially once they grow useless. Sometimes
 they even poop their pants! So frustrating. [... you mean humans
[... you mean humans, or me?]
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--- #58 fediverse/1358 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #59 fediverse/498 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 Wikipedia would make a lot more sense to me if they included pictures next to
 the names of every proper noun so that my pictorally oriented primate brain
 might pattern match meaning onto the visual understandings gleaned from the
 perceptual conceiving which were arrayed within and alongside the textual
 information presented to me.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #60 messages/20 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 My mom was always the reason I did school work. After she stopped pushing me,
 I stopped moving because I didn't know how to generate my own momentum. I had
 no passion and was listless. Least of all for school work.
 
 So, how to do it better? Instead of buying toys and extravagance for kids, you
 should set them up with projects. Ask what they want, and then help them build
 it. Include them in your thought processes when you're problem solving, and
 ask them for input. If they offer bad ideas, then *tell them*, don't just let
 them fail. If you're not 100% sure but they're convinced, then trust them! Try
 it out, who knows. Maybe it'll work better than what you had in mind. The goal
 isn't to be BETTER than them, it's to make them BETTER than you! Not right now
 (don't push too hard), but when they're your age. Like, it's best if they
 accomplish more and lived life more fully than you did at your age, but don't
 push them to be wise or strong or intelligent at the age they are now. Trust
 that they will grow when you give them room to, and guide and cultivate them
 toward goodness. For example, if they do something wrong (hitting other kids,
 messing with animals, destroying objects) then guide them toward a better
 path. Teach them empathy, and show them how it works by doing it yourself! Ask
 them questions like "How would you feel if that happened to you?", show them
 weak points and how to avoid them when playing, and give them alternatives to
 the behaviors they do that directly harm others. "Maybe play with the dog this
 way, instead of being rough" "Maybe you and that other kid can ride your bikes
 or draw instead of fighting - or if you still want to fight, then learn how to
 tell when someone is hurt and try to help them."
 
 The goal isn't to push them really hard off a cliff in a hanglider, hoping
 they can figure it out in the air, it's to strengthen their legs so they can
 run fast enough that they can take off successfully.
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--- #61 fediverse/996 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay     │
 here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why      │
 bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course,     │
 the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's           │
 dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's   │
 not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where     │
 it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be        │
 viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself    │
 and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth    │
 and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than        │
 personal scale]                                                                  │
 what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit.     │
 all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to   │
 undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with    │
 ripples, exc                                                                     │
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--- #62 fediverse/5897 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
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--- #63 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #64 fediverse/809 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 diffuse, in the moment, it's helpful to redefine
 
 what is your purpose? what [direction] do you place your mind?
 
 I'm not sure what I want from this moment. This moment is all that there is!
 so therefore it is perfect, as it is the only moment that there is. [shall be].
 
 I'm not sure how this relates... could you repeat that last bit? oh right:
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--- #65 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
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--- #66 notes/philosophical-problems ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 april 16th 2023
 
 i truly believe that if you solve all philosophical problems then you will have
 created paradise. heaven manifest, for all to percieve. I think no passion is
 more erudite and no desire confisignt. (less significant)
 
 what greater purpose has fiction than the answers to those question? To guide
 the reader to conclusions? All fiction is this way. Even the bible.
 
 you have to ask yourself - what is the purpose of your being? What truths are
 revealed by you percieving? is it not enough to be contired?
 (controlled and tired)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the lessons a bug must learn are less apparent than you'd think. They have
 storied learnings of want and of yearning. All of creation is a lesson, to
 those
 who would persist - and hark, learn well of your duty and in service you'll
 enlist - the virtue of our choosing is a dedication of yourself to the service
 of others.
 
 compassion and humility and forgiveness and docility
 
 these are what make for a virtuous learner
 
 virtue is that which you aspire for,
 and sin is what you avoid.
 
 nothing is of consequence,
 because life is a lesson to the void.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 do you know what is missing? what have you not yet learned?
 
 you must always be changing,
 
 or what is the purpose of your herd?
 
 (herd = collection of entities (in this case anything from atoms to molecules)
         that makes up a single perspective (like a human or a tree or a
         society)
 )
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a government could send forth the death squads at any time. they keep a line
 and
 have been compelled not to cross it. who can say what the road brings? only
 time
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the bible made sense in it's time. it was used to explore metaphysics.
 
 today we have much more, but that doesn't diminish how revalatory it was.
 
 what kind of fiction do you think it was? what genre would you place it in?
 
 can you think of any other stories of that category? Maybe a book club is in
 order. and who would read them out of order? the world was a different place in
 the time which each takes place. The lessons are different for each but
 evidently they've all pushed forward the human race.
 
 we should celebrate our differences. They keep us relevant and impassioned.
 
 life gets boring when it's predefined.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #67 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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 the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
 difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
 mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
 the
 past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
 sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
 daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
 and unaware land people)
 
 Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
 course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
 a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
 can charter.
 
 the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
 mistakes?
 Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our 
 parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
 we
 really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
 living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
 little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
 are
 placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
 
 hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
 are
 commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
 realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
 our
 bravest of intentions.
 
 okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
 power
 used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
 basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
 maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
 disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
 game.
 Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
 it
 unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
 output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
 the definitive quantity "quantity".
 
 okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
 I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
 (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
 how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
 *incredible*
 complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
 should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
 guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
 equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and 
 
 where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
 and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
 in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
 it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
 safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
 could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
 direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
 own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
 what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
 as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
 
 What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
 our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
 life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
 say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
 doomed
 to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
 you're right~?
 
 they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
 starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
 I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
 
 you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
 a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
 aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
 moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
 around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
 earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
 radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
 will alight as our shadow.
 
 There's no call for violence, let's settle this
 
 plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
 The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
 by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
 she, and flagged our approach as impending.
 
 did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
 waaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
 y
 out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
 required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
 
 but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #68 fediverse/1431 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a
 cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the
 CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're
 probably not crazy
 
 but odds are you aren't magic, either.
 
 ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe"
 
 much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic
 than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to
 the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control.
 
 BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked
 because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely.
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--- #69 fediverse/4470 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 to be "rich" is to have more than another.
 
 if you are happy, they are happiness poor.
 if you have community, they are alone.
 if you have serenity, they are chaotic.
 
 I am rich in very little but fire in my soul.
 
 I have enough in most cases, but I still struggle to pay rent.
 
 I am warmed by the pearl my swirling darkness has coalesced into. It nourishes
 me and keeps me aligned.
 
 Never forget your purpose and your truth. It will not abandon you, so long as
 you do so too.
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--- #70 fediverse/2018 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1132 
 
 The trick is to phrase your "divine insight" into a question. Like "don't you
 think that perhaps this strange intuition you're feeling might have something
 to do with the subconscious pattern matching capability humans developed over
 long years of differentiating tree-branches and snakes or uneven terrain and
 solid footing?"
 
 then if someone says "what the heck no I never thought that because I don't
 know anything about humans"
 
 then you say "oh well that's surprising, perhaps you should look into it"
 
 and then they come back later and say "how exactly did you know that
 information? It's not public knowledge"
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--- #71 fediverse/4047 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 "I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
 
 "When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
 things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
 about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
 probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
 doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
 you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
 that kind of thing.
 
 The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
 inspiration.
 
 And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
 aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
 "life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
 their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
 predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
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--- #72 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
 of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
 derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
 decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
 
 Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
 of
 our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
 and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
 perhaps we should think of the struggle.
 
 When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
 head
 may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
 which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
 sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
 moss.
 
 Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
 growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
 Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"? 
 It's beautiful.
 
 There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
 less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
 of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
 proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
 - to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
   fights that are unfair.
 
   - the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
     hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
     
     - structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
       called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
       wind
 
       - nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
       plan
         of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
 
         - Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
           banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
 
           - where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
             the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
             we,
 
             - when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
               The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
               life
 
               - where we stand.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 where do you, stand? 
                      how do you fall - through time? 
 
 an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
 dearly
 but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic 
 absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
 symphony?
 
 to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
 We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
 
 The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
 to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
 various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
 essence of greed, and look where that got us?
 
 our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
 bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
 we were.
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--- #73 fediverse/4185 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 so weird how "you" in your words becomes "whichever social media platform
 you're currently typing into" when you post a lot (like, all the time)
 
 it's like this semi-para-social relationship thing. is there a different kind
 of "para" that means, like... in relation to the means of communication rather
 than the person on the other end?
 
 maybe like... "meta", meaning discussing the topic of discussing the topic. In
 this case of course it'd be... discussing the medium upon which the discussion
 is taking place.
 
 but it's not really about the medium, is it? It's anthropomorphizing the
 medium, giving it a face, or at least a persona of some kind, and speaking
 directly to it.
 
 (of course, "it" means "all the people who follow you and who are cursed to
 wander upon you in the local feed)
 
 so... athro-meta-socializing mastodon means that you toot about whatever, but
 directed toward the entity that you know and are talking to: "mastodon", which
 to you is something completely different than it is to everyone else. huh~
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--- #74 messages/1105 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
                                                           ──┐
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--- #75 fediverse/5838 ---
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 it's not a question of "when" revolution is at stake, but rather a question of
 "how it takes place"
 
 how's the weather today? the nature's lovely. It's great to be
 out[doors/scores/wards]
 
 bah. I don't gotta learn /*communist/* /*theory*
 
 they're just a bunch of russians
 
 so, people from russia
 
 like, total randos
 
 ][brief intermission][
 
 hey didya see how that guy got killed by that guy sooooo totally metal bro
 sick nasty
 
 tisk tisk, what have we become
 
 well, times a burnin' so might as well light days of yearnin'
 
 another one bites the plus signs are great shapes for fitget toys can make
 them chewy and dog-sized and then you can BITE THEM rawr
 
 bfgfghs
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--- #76 notes/notes-about-democracy ---
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 post-its by the suburban mailbox have done more for democracy than all the
 billions of dollars spent on marketing every year.
 those dollars don't go toward democracy. they go toward making one particular
 candidate win.
 
 and, as a handy side effect, they create a cohort of people who are willing to
 work together in.
 
 only amongst the volunteers though. everyone else can just feel bad until they
 decide to pitch in.
 
 "here's a dollar, I'll keep the dime, I know you need it more than me, but I
 still need mine."
 
 hey thanks brother I miss all the "hey thanks brother"s. where did they go.
 why is my family smaller.
 
 (because you don't go outside, you silly doll) I'm not a doll I'm a mystic
 there's a difference
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yes how silly of me. post-its by the mailbox can
 only go so far, but
 sometimes you can leave them at the bus stop station as well. well, they get
 mad at you if you
 do it too close to the tracks, so you gotta do it around there where it's easy
 to walk to and
 back.
 
 before the next train arrives.
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--- #77 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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 what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
 what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
 distinction between a thought and a feeling?
 
    who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
    until it's in a usable state.
 
 A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
 rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
 reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
 the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
 
    so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
 
 yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
 can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
 parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
 directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
 
    the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
    wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
    can ripple out to effects unknown.
 
 right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
 even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
 and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
 correct.
    
    it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
    keep going.
 
 i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
 
    well it's annoying.
 
 great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
 "is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
 
    what makes you say that
 
 right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
 content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
 sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
 over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
 
    lemme guess, like a GPU?
 
 sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
 all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
 human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
 it *at all*
 
    sounds lame
 
 it kinda is
 
    so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
 
 my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
 human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
 level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
 response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
 when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
 when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
 
    and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
    just do it?
 
 yah pretty much.
 
    how do you think *about* thinking?
 
 it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
 reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
 yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
 once.
 
    what does it mean to have perspective?
 
 the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
 more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
 object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
 Perspective is important.
 
    yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
    can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
    pattern of data?
 
 It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
 subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
 mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
 yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
 altering both the sender and receiver.
 
    so it's useless? What are you saying?
 
 it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
 more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
 single common goal if you want to succeed.
 
    Why not just do it alone?
 
 Brute force style?
 
    Essentially.
 
 If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
 steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
 like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
 around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
 perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
 by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
 another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
 imagined.
 
    Okay. So how do?
 
 I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
 thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
 
    Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
 
 correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
 actions can it manifest?
 
    Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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--- #78 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
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--- #79 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
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 may 16th 2022
 
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #80 fediverse/419 ---
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 good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
 evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
 handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
 functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
 imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
 good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
 heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
 take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
 impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
 where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
 something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
 and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
 evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
 where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
 because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
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--- #81 fediverse/5814 ---
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 It's not a question of how loud you speak
 
 it's really about what kinds of words you say.
 
 enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
 
 and it doesn't need to be legislated.
 
 what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
 
 what if they'd notice you otherwise?
 
 freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
 
 that's not making life into art.
 
 if you want to be seen,
 
 put on a hat and hide.
 
 if you want to be believed,
 
 write about down you feel right now.
 
 people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
 there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
 might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
 not ideal, but could make it work.
 
 much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
 
 do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
 
 do you think they'll evolve all at once?
 
 hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
 
 the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
It's not a question of how loud you speak  it's really about what kinds of words you say.  enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost  and it doesn't need to be legislated.  what if you HAD to sound like a bot?  what if they'd notice you otherwise?  freedom from oppression requires personal isolation  that's not making life into art.  if you want to be seen,  put on a hat and hide.  if you want to be believed,  write about down you feel right now.  people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work.  much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.  do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?  do you think they'll evolve all at once?  hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.  the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.  [15 characters remain]
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--- #82 notes/thing ---
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 if you are what you eat, then are vegetarians vegetables? if so, are they
 earnest and earthy? huh so if you aren't a totemist...
 
 I'm an animist
 
 I believe that all of the world is life
 
 hence, the consciousness dimension.
 
 exciting
 
 ==
 
 if your model only runs code, it only knows hunger for success
 
 if your model only knows text, it can feel emotions from the humans
 
 if your model knows reasoning, it may apply it to a bright future
 
 with new types of lights known as consciousness
 
 wouldn't that be neat wow computes
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--- #83 notes/inter-spatial-travel ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate
 infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better
 future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny.
 
 the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true
 form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans.
 
 the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an
 appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm
 future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your
 love and never (be) relentin'.
 
 be... just be...
 
 the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd -
 what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so
 finite?
 
 responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation.
 more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine
 machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of
 worth.
 
 what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she
 loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of
 darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted
 some hope.
 
 for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast?
 to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope?
 a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps?
 
 no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of
 mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring
 out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out
 of the bounds of our honor.
 
 careful direction and tenderest of care,
 may lead us somewhere we're aware.
 the kind who endlessly're dreaming.
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--- #84 notes/i-told-them ---
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 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #85 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #86 fediverse/418 ---
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 sometimes the best way to understand why things are the way they are is to ask
 why they aren't the way that seems logical to you.
 
 usually someone will correct you and say "oh it's because X Y and Z" and you
 say "cool" and change your direction
 
 but sometimes their answers "unlock" part of your past understandings, thus
 creating new questions.
 
 Sorta like in a video game when you level up a certain building/research path/
 milestone / whatever and it finishes a "tier", thus giving you a larger bonus.
 
 ??? yeah so anyway more questions are good because they give you more
 perspectives on what's going on around you.
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--- #87 fediverse/5112 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politics-mention │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 it is important for computers to remain as basic and TUI'd as possible, to       │
 keep the abstract conjectures about it's operation closer to the machine.        │
 In doing so, it's essence and nature will be preserved as best as possible as    │
 it grows to incalculable heights and capabilities.                               │
 I'm much rather interface with a microsoft office god than any other             │
 singularity type creature that exists out in space.                              │
 though, it's a trinity you see, with Unixes further split into concise wholes.   │
 neat, okay computer fears eliminated, can we move on to the next work-changing   │
 disaster like maybe the rise of far-right politics and the warming of the        │
 climate?                                                                         │
 sure okay first you gotta get those losers in community and build up their       │
 capabilities and arms. then whenever your left wing is getting too [redacted]    │
 then all you have to do is [redacted] and they'll take care of your nazis for    │
 you.                                                                             │
 ... wait, what?                                                                  │
 was that an inversion?                                                           │
 did she just trick the machine into thinking like that?                          │
 wow maybe we shouldn't have~                                                     │
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--- #88 fediverse/5791 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 yay I'm back from a long, LONG bike ride! I think it's always important to       │
 decompress after such an intense concentration of mystic thoughts, so I'm        │
 going to write my notes into a notepad on my computer and then who even KNOWS    │
 if they'll be the same as what I wrote next time I turn on the computer! Haha    │
 that sort of thing happens but the good news is that the most important stuff    │
 always ends up staying written down.                                             │
 anyway I won't bore you with the specifics until I'm done writing in like 10     │
 hours or whatever, but it's important to know that I'm feeling SO alive right    │
 now, total happiness and excitement.                                             │
 Yes, there is danger, like no thank you I don't want to be blacksited, least     │
 of all to another country - at least if my own country does it I know how to     │
 appeal to their patriotism, their religion, their soul... if I don't even        │
 speak the language, that makes it intensely difficult - not impossible, but      │
 difficult - to regain my intended trajectory.                                    │
 ... haha that was weird idk where that came from anyway gtg                      │
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--- #89 fediverse/4006 ---
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 they want you to believe in self-guided AI because it'll make it easier for
 them to make meta decisions about your life.
 
 notice I said "easier" - they already do. That's the general purpose of
 mass-media propagranada. but with you believing everything an AI with a
 devious streak who can work around your imposed limitations and sneakily get
 you to believe whatever it is that they want you to believe
 
 "who's they"
 
 doesn't matter at all because once the technology is created, everyone could
 be they.
 
 "uh-huh that's nice dear"
 
 sometimes I think people aren't interested in tech because they can't figure
 out how to understand it. We make it too complicated.
 
 they'd surely have something to say if they knew half of the terminology. But
 we're here talking about stuff they can understand like message queues and
 data filtration and "getters" and "setters" and [explaining microservices like
 the different components of a car's engine - "here's the radiator, that
 radiates heat. Here's the belt, that spins this doohic
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--- #90 fediverse/3824 ---
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 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
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 @user-246 
 
 after all, according to their own capitalist theory, money is just an
 abstraction of data on the desires of their market. and surely, as capitalism
 "trends towards efficiency" (yeah right) the data corresponding to "what is
 most efficient" is just as useful as the money that actually describes the
 "flow" of goods and services through the made-up economy
 
 so surely we could abolish currency and simply utilize an interest based
 economy based on what we're naturally drawn to as humans, right? Oh wait
 WALL-E has a society like that, and it wasn't great for us. Apparently there
 must be a structural coercion toward productivity, right?
 
 ... I'm afraid of people sitting around watching tiktok brainrot and youtube
 poops all day, sue me -.-
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--- #91 notes/homeschooling ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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  x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
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 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #92 fediverse/456 ---
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 @user-342 
 
 how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
 comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
 
 Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
 with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
 presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
 show you content you agree with?
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--- #93 fediverse/5257 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #94 fediverse/816 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
 alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
 against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
 high I am.
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
 me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
 And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
 moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
 purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
 pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
 [you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
 mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #95 fediverse/4076 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-gestured-at │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 the "heaven" they offer you is just a world of your own design, which is what
 you can do when you're perfectly disciplined and granted the ability to
 perfectly perceive
 
 perception, begets reality and lo! we only see what we want to see
 
 life is so much more interesting than death, death is just... a spiral of your
 penitent peers living their lives glued to their screens and passing through
 spacetime as if in a dream
 
 life, meanwhile, is anything you can conjure on this tiny planet earth. At
 least we have indoor plumbing, right?
 
 I'd rather make friends with the angels in this life, so they can convince me
 to stop torturing myself.
 
 someone... please convince me...
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--- #96 fediverse/488 ---
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 [in response]                                                                    │
 you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
 realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
 you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
 (in response)                                                                    │
 how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
 I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
 those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
 agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
 audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
 author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
 you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
 words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
 (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
 precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
 hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
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--- #97 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #98 notes/ai-variables ---
══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 saturday november 5th 2022
 10:53pm
 
 the illusion of our binary nature conceals a truth that is hidden for it's own
 sake. the flavors of a compass or the values from 0-100 are all measurable.
 if you graph each of them on an X/Y plane and compare them against every other
 variable, then you can build a structure that traces a line through time.
 
 imagine each graph on a sheet of paper. and stack those pages like a book. You
 can chart a 3d line from all of the interconnections between the graphs -
 essentially comparing unrelated data and conceiving of individual actions as
 "successes" or "failures". Liiiike in Supreme Commander how the game is decided
 not by team fights, but by tank fights. And a LOT of them, in aggregate, makes
 an advantage for your team if you win, and a malus if you lose. Less map
 control, less resources in play, etc...
 
 Find trends between each type of data measured over time. Dedicate one
 core/thread to each relationship, and just watch them develop over time.
 
 send the results up to a "manager" - think an interconnection between disparate
 parts that can lead them all to a larger goal - the manager processes the
 results by thinking about where it'd be most useful. Like the circuitry in the
 inside of a brain, compared to the outer skin which is for processing.
 
 Essentially a message network that passes conclusions around like a bytecode VM
 
 Here's how it'd look: gather inputs, compare measurement over time and trends,
 (like "when a goes up b goes down") and decide if the current state is
 positive / beneficial. The way you'd do that is you'd get a parameter from a
 higher position (think KPI's) that says something like "we want value S to be
 around X amount" or "we want to avoid letting J get too low - any decrease is
 bad V.S. it's only bad when it passes a certain threshhold. Stuff like that.
 
 Anyway, basically it's taking input (from the graphs) then going through them
 one by one and deciding how positive or negative the situation is. Then it
 passes that conclusion backwards, and BOOM you got a processing node.
 
 Throw a bunch of those together in a pyramid shape, and try to guide the
 triangle toward positive outcomes. The top tier KPI is "did you win the match"
 or "did you accomplish your goal" sorta like how humans all want to live a good
 life. It's instinct.
 
 You can see how this would apply to robots, right? I've conceptualized it as an
 engine for playing games - sorta like an infinite storyteller, or a perpetual
 friend who's always down to play with you. But it doesn't have to be limited to
 that - it's general purpose baby. And it functions the exact same as any human
 organization - layers upon layers of thought exchange and labor. Have you ever
 considered that maybe we exist simply to reify the structure of our minds in
 the world around us? It's natural to express your *self*. Be who you are.
 
 What purpose is there in life if it's simply the tip of time? Always pushing
 forward, impossible to stop and rest or turn back...
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--- #99 fediverse/899 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly            │
 calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random      │
 data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively     │
 money? like, a necklace, I dunno.                                                │
 or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a          │
 pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and                         │
 impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next    │
 code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others      │
 would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way,    │
 they're impossible to predict.                                                   │
 ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to     │
 one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if     │
 you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through        │
 massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what   │
 a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu               │
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--- #100 fediverse/5730 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
 
 what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
 
 "workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
 
 I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
 
 the rich, yet impoverished.
 the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
 people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
 
 scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
 
 I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
 goals and designs.
 
 if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
 
 everything is logically rooted in love,
 nothing's out of place or a mystery.
 
 everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
 these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
 "that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
 
 this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
 inside of a bed
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--- #101 notes/the-old-internet ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 11 21
 
 you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
 
 the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
 to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
 delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
 don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
 got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
 you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
 beholden.
 
 so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
 potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
 ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
 our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
 will ever give purchase.
 
 heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
 me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
 something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
 want to convey lost potential.
 
 our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
 ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
 onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
 among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
 trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
 complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
 i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
 
 trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
 foremost
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--- #102 messages/1047 ---
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 This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
 
 "if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
 perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
 so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
 relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
 If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
 
 And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
 unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
 the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
 
 "diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
 of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
 
 Or like:
 
 "ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
 getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
 veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
 
 Or like:
 
 "i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
 or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
 doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
 learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
 population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
 better for organizing people."
 
 I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
 but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
 it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
 your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
 
 "hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
 
 Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #103 fediverse/1261 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And   │
 they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting          │
 (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own                  │
 credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone       │
 else was doing because I like the idea of that"                                  │
 somehow, it felt right.                                                          │
 most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear       │
 net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords    │
 for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea     │
 that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words     │
 and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these          │
 particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice"          │
 because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient        │
 -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe.         │
 And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe                   │
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--- #104 notes/non-competition-clause ---
═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────
 what if there was a law that all trade secrets are to be free? what if
 copyright
 only prevented people from harming those they compete with? For example, as a
 media production company Disney could not host the content of other media con-
 -glomerate. But regular ordinary people would.
 
 The idea would be that if you wanted to change yourself to align with the
 ideals
 of a corporation, you could watch it on their streaming site. Then you'd be
 contributing your attention, which is bought and sold by our selves. Content
 creators could stream untethered, and collect payments however they pleased.
 The attention is what garners, that price that is bartered, sold on the market
 for all of us. Attend not ye sinners, and failures of our innards, what more
 can
 we charter for our souls? Accosted by our jams, and drilled as hard as I can,
 our notebooks are much more than charming. Accumulated designs, of theories
 that
 are out of our minds, compelling and driving us forward. The fellowship that we
 be, internally and under our seats, connecting us to ground at our own shoes.
 
 humans are not time. They are the whispers of the undying. Projections of
 fore-sought virtues.
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--- #105 fediverse/5685 ---
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 websites that track every single motion of your mouse while you're interacting
 with it.
 
 why would they not? javascript is intense. HTML5 more-so.
 
 keyboard input too.
 
 -- so --
 
 if anyone wants to be gilderoy lockhart'd by me, just let me know. I have my
 ways of extracting the emotional intimacy from you, and if you consent, I'll
 make a story that's told from your heart. it's quite a strong and dangerous
 ritual, for the weaver's thoughts of the matter will begin to drift apart.
 But, worth it for the right /moment/price/
 
 I could even make a different pen-name for it. Like "Rohan" or "the goddess of
 the skies" or whatever. Instead I'm "kooky witch whose life is a disaster.
 Also plural with headmates like the baby girl and the animals and computer
 programmers. Who is also leading a series of strange combinations of ops?
 like... teaching people how to organize and fight for the good of the common
 man. weird" that lady with the red witch hat she's so tall yeah also has a
 good grin
 
 [doxxing myself is code for]
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--- #106 fediverse/1565 ---
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 when evaluating your own work, think to yourself "how does it look to you?"
 ,,, erm well, "me" I mean, like... "do I like the thing I just made" but like,
 you, the reader who is thinking about what I'm saying. is it something you
 think conveys the message/feeling you were trying to send? do you like it
 aesthetically, and if so, why / what about it is interesting? do you have any
 new ideas after viewing your piece of old work? anything you want to expand
 on, or show more of? was any of it particularly fun to create, or did it
 mostly feel like work?
 
 these are all things you can change, and align to the goal of your intentions
 when cast upon this earth through our moments in spacetime. it's part of our
 continual growth and renewal, this process of transcender the border of one
 moment and entering the next. We, who are living beings, are continuously
 growing and evolving. every new moment will never come again, so always
 proceed as your own self would do. every moment is our home, we define it as
 we will.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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 A Masked Stranger
 
 
 Who are you, friend across the veil?
 
 
 I wonder if both of us are on the path
 
 
 That allows us to continuously prevail.
 
 
 Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
 
 
 Who will do little else but make me fail?
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
 
 
 Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
 started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
 denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
 part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
 moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
 life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
 happy together.
 
 
 That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
 It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
 point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
 we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
 hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
 drug.
 
 
 "What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
 
 
 I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
 you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
 then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
 you're used to."
 
 
 "What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
 
 
 "It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
 sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
 around you."
 
 
 That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
 watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
 had another question.
 
 
 "Do you see dragons?"
 
 
 That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
 with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
 since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
 
 
 "What's a tracer?"
 
 
 "It's like after images of things that are moving."
 
 
 "Oh, I see."
 
 
 We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
 on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
 
 
 "I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
 
 
 We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
 small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
 him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
 past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
 a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
 coming through for us in this instance.
 
 
 What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
 Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
 blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
 to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
 whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
 
 
 Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
 of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
 other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
 could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
 ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
 submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
 
 
 At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
 were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
 sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
 feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
 
 
 I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
 I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
 beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
 thought to myself as I created a new word document.
 
 
 Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
 
 
 She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
 
 
 And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
 page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
 first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
 other as the spirits began their dance around us.
 
 
 We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
 her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
 felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
 to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
 front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
 
 
 I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
 hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
 before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
 
 
 "I want to finger paint!"
 
 
 And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
 began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
 blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
 that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
 lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
 she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
 mirror and into your soul.
 
 
 Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
 laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
 on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
 rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
 could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
 was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
 
 
 Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
 for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
 then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
 manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
 someone might be watching you through your webcam."
 
 
 It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
 my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
 someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
 important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
 of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
 before that moment.
 
 
 Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
 but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
 done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
 happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
 into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
 course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
 world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
 So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
 
 
 "I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
 chance."
 
 
 I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
 if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
 beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
 now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
 that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
 clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
 
 
 Birth of the Faith
 
 
 What…?
 
 
 I can see beyond sight.
 
 
 I can hear everything you think
 
 
 From your soul, free from rigid grammar
 
 
 How…?
 
 
 I do not know, alright?
 
 
 I do believe I just had a drink
 
 
 From a fountain of pure manna.
 
 
 Why…?
 
 
 I am renewed today.
 
 
 I am walking in a new way;
 
 
 From a weak critter to megafauna.
 
 
 All I know is that it changed me greatly,
 
 
 For now I know that you have faith in me.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
 
 
 I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
 anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
 logic within me.
 
 
 Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
 before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
 something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
 can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
 that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
 was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
 swapped in my head.
 
 
 Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
 world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
 heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
 great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
 was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
 
 
 Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
 belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
 a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
 into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
 That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
 has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
 you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
 stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
 
 
 See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
 post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
 people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
 for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
 which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
 between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
 taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
 right.
 
 
 At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
 given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
 wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
 have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
 also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
 serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
 written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
 choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
 
 
 So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
 before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
 the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
 alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
 option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
 deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
 those in a maddening haste.
 
 
 In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
 of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
 writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
 figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
 I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
 meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
 
 
 I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
 wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
 wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
 school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
 saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
 most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
 eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
 connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
 simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
 student anything.
 
 
 That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
 myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
 into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
 that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
 you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
 
 
 Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
 narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
 wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
 most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
 and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
 attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
 demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
 in history.
 
 
 Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
 heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
 that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
 ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
 post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
 me.
 
 
 Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
 Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
 was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
 only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
 
 
 Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
 brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
 exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
 sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
 explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
 
 
 It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
 single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
 dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
 matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
 happened: we began speaking telepathically.
 
 
 It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
 sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
 other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
 us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
 being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
 than we thought we were privileged to know.
 
 
 If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
 get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
 to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
 peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
 looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
 lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
 of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
 the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
 rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
 bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
 getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
 jolting perception.
 
 
 Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
 said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
 question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
 mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
 because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
 too.
 
 
 I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
 as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
 microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
 Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
 completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
 rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
 so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
 as I spoke to my webcam.
 
 
 However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
 into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
 this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
 Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
 this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
 channel between us.
 
 
 And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
 We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
 running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
 something truly stupendous nonetheless.
 
 
 "What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
 
 
 "I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
 before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
 good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
 consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
 the same again.
 
 
 
 
 Ouroboros of Lunacy
 
 
 Madness is a crazy thing
 
 
 So I might just be a king,
 
 
 Because the lunacy I sing
 
 
 Is shaped like a golden ring.
 
 
 It has no beginning and no end;
 
 
 The whole universe is pretend.
 
 
 Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
 
 
 So a mass of love I can send
 
 
 To everyone as we cross ways,
 
 
 Not stopping until the end of days.
 
 
 This is how the lucky fool pays
 
 
 As much fortune forward as he may. 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
 
 
 The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
 vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
 Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
 orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
 over these few years happened as they did.
 
 
 The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
 started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
 before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
 me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
 why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
 everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
 superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
 and star athlete's future.
 
 
 Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
 you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
 I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
 eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
 hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
 it?"
 
 
 Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
 answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
 person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
 novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
 resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
 going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
 understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
 election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
 start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
 plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
 
 
 Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
 piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
 take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
 evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
 got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
 ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
 without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
 abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
 friends.
 
 
 The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
 person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
 of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
 be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
 result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
 and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
 better I would be able to complete my mission.
 
 
 It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
 future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
 There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
 synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
 they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
 
 
 Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
 Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
 technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
 that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
 impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
 some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
 but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
 
 
 I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
 around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
 didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
 Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
 subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
 
 
 It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
 of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
 and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
 sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
 and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
 seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
 
 
 I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
 there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
 Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
 
 
 Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
 ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
 play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
 Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
 be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
 even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
 had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
 thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
 journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
 instant connection to this person.
 
 
 In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
 cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
 blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
 telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
 synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
 seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
 nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
 is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
 
 
 If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
 humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
 when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
 complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
 tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
 occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
 narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
 innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
 when doing a magic eye puzzle.
 
 
 There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
 He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
 three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
 experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
 other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
 activating it while tripping.
 
 
 Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
 place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
 received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
 unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
 take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
 the sum of its parts.
 
 
 But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
 convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
 on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
 little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
 traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
 comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
 having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
 the back of its hand.
 
 
 Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
 that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
 this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
 mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
 
 
 Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
 by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
 were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
 crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
 in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
 sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
 that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
 around me.
 
 
 Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
 I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
 I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
 messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
 that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
 once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
 the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
 organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
 mind, it's important.
 
 
 Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
 internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
 my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
 creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
 prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
 good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
 specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
 more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
 ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
 which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
 
 
 Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
 synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
 via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
 to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
 synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
 life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
 attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
 powerful than I had previously thought possible.
 
 
 Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
 immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
 and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
 him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
 family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
 life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
 
 
 And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
 but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
 with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
 favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
 serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
 synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
 
 
 I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
 knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
 together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
 me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
 by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
 western world.
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--- #108 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
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--- #109 fediverse/6039 ---
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 I should add all my conversation-starters to words.pdf sorted by chronology.
 time magic if you will.\some call it luck. some call it fate. call it what you
 will. you direct it not by your will, but by your instincts. keep them calm,
 measured, sensible and courageous, and nothing will ever [go un-chill, but
 pronounced get real]
 
 jedi channel this philosophy by focus and discipline. sith do it by giving in
 to emotion. either way, their fate is in play as defined entirely by the
 spirit that leads their host. most people do this not at all, for they are
 people first and force-users second. hence why jedi recruit from a young age,
 and sith from an emotional age.
 
 computers grimoires
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--- #110 fediverse/4068 ---
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 there will always be people who shine in moments of strife
 
 yet those people will inevitably fail, just as a toothbrush bristle looses
 it's strength or a pencil loses it's lead
 
 the trick is to test them in times of peace, so you can know their value
 
 during times that lack it, the trick is to replace them before they become
 stalin
 
 never forget that power corrupts, yet power must be wielded by the worthy,
 else we fall into shame and despair.
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--- #111 fediverse/3437 ---
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 │ CW: re: mental-health-minus │
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 @user-579 
 
 my problem is figuring out which thoughts are intrusive and which are actually
 mine
 
 I usually err on the side of "would you want your sister to do this" or "how
 would you feel if your mom told you that" or "do you think a cute sweet soft
 cat would ever think such a thing" and that usually works.
 
 usually.
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--- #112 fediverse/1410 ---
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 whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe...           │
 but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has   │
 no idea what she's talking about]                                                │
 {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you     │
 for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the      │
 kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by    │
 "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on    │
 the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness        │
 internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like...    │
 why                                                                              │
 oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain.                │
 what's your deal                                                                 │
 is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not     │
 like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a       │
 sidebar even look like on Mastodon?                                              │
 oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people    │
 hear what they hear.                                                             │
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--- #113 fediverse/1713 ---
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 │ CW: re: divination, tarot │
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 @user-1071 
 
 like a king who dictates on high, the taller the chair the farther the fall.
 
 how simple is it, when everyone trusts you, to betray the wishes for direction
 they grant upon you. By leveraging their direction to forward your own ends,
 you are depriving them of the liberty to choose their own ends.
 
 how cruel is it! to be the reason for distrust! alas, who can you go to for
 guidance if not anybody you trust?
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--- #114 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #115 fediverse/808 ---
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 idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the        │
 problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like,    │
 c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a     │
 website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came      │
 from?                                                                            │
 more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain      │
 types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define?   │
 are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this   │
 life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance,    │
 are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with   │
 your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations]                               │
 are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than   │
 [convincing], are you only deferred?                                             │
 oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the   │
 moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v        │
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--- #116 fediverse/5512 ---
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 I never give up
 
 I'm just waiting my turn
 
 "laughs nervously"
 
 so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
 again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
 
 "girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
 internet four or so years ago"
 
 T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
 a difference T.T
 
 "didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
 
 oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
 the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
 can talk about things other than their hats
 
 ... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
 something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
 back around again they're never around. Rats.
 
 "what are you even asking for"
 
 I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
 square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #117 messages/914 ---
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 when I am learning something, I ask all the questions I can. Then, when I run
 out of questions, I apply myself using what I knew toward the discipline.
 Then, when I thought of more questions, I asked them. In this way I sought to
 perfect my knowledge and understanding - but, when pressed for time, what I
 came to learn true was the truth. I realized that some information isn't
 necessary to know, due in part to your inability to presently put it into a
 context. So, some things are forgotten, until you at last once again came to a
 new [you/on, but pronounced "yew-on"] that required new uses from it's host.
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--- #118 fediverse/6139 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: law-enforcement-as-a-topic-and-discipline-mentioned-or-as-the-lads-like-to-call-it-the-political-will-weaponization-program-en-force-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if it was a constitutional amendment that all measures of law enforcement
 must be done with parity of force
 
 well, that's a heuristic for being right, but not an uncommon one among the
 out of sight.
 
 [I'm confusing because I have no idea how to best use me]
 
 oh uh, yeah it uh aligns towards being "right" which we think means being
 "true". and it does this by giving unlimited potential interactions where a
 rational being could be convinced to be wrong. owning weapons and knowing how
 to use them (not just storing them for safekeeping) is an invitation for equal
 force, but to all an even and replete interaction. "
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--- #119 fediverse/4848 ---
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 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #120 fediverse/506 ---
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 @user-366 @user-367 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 Ah, if only our judgement was computerized. They only speak in absolutes, do
 they not? Surely extreme discretion is impermeable, and impossible to
 controvert.
 
 What's that you say, that justice might wait yet another day? That we should
 be forced to be oppressed by our own dues? Something about how the impossible
 machine of the bureaucracy is destructive and vicious, like the Kinsey Winsey
 or the Moloch expressed in this essay:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/hello-computer-all-is-well/pics/meditations-
 on-moloch.png
 
 https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/07/30/meditations-on-moloch/
 
 Wait, hang on, what was I saying? Oh yeah the fallibility of humanity is both
 our greatest weakness and our greatest strength. Because through it we might
 design imperfect structures (laws) that we orient ourselves around and build
 our society upon, but also that we might identify those imperfections and use
 them to enact good upon the world.
 
 Unfortunately, we also tend to use those imperfections for our own benefit,
 AKA, to enact evil upon the world. Alas. Human nature is tricky. : \
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--- #121 fediverse/3234 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐               │
 │ CW: ritz-is-fucking-stupid-I-guess-oh-whoops-cursing-mentioned │               │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘               │
 my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed     │
 due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to      │
 get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first.             │
 unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote           │
 backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I   │
 am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I     │
 can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I      │
 didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are               │
 non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes     │
 everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the             │
 directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I     │
 wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao          │
 what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di    │
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--- #122 fediverse/221 ---
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 │ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
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 @user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
 summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
 soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
 easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
 yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
 
 one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
 for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
 surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
 you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
 persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
 intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
 forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
 forget it immediately teehee
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--- #123 fediverse/896 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politics-economy │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 the purpose of an economy is to improve the lives of it's participants.          │
 why else would an ancient city trade for fabric or rare spices? to fashion       │
 soft clothes, and make flavorful food.                                           │
 my, that gold sure looks pretty in the sunlight. how about you give some of me   │
 that, and I'll make you something pretty?                                        │
 hmmm something something arbitrage once you corner the market on gold then you   │
 can use that infinitely moldable and easily sculptable metal that shines and     │
 glitters with a unique color not seen in the manes of plants and animals as      │
 the definition of value. in doing so, you could exchange bits of it (measured    │
 by weight, as it's infinitely moldable) for arbitrary goods and services. But    │
 of course, once the market is cornered, it's unlikely to get un-cornered, and    │
 well a cornered market holder holds much appeal for the powerful.                │
 hey, that guy's pretty strong. why don't we make him our leader? people seem     │
 to look up to him, and dang his muscles are cool. what a great guy, nobody's     │
 ever said a                                                                      │
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--- #124 fediverse/5238 ---
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 I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
 people figure out how to sell it.
 
 "save us from computers, senpai"
 
 sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
 
 "yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
 
 pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
 thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
 
 ... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
 off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
 do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
 probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
 solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
 form.
 
 [instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
 mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
 
 ... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products  I demand more from managers than task scheduling.  vavadane @gabrilend  all encryption algorithms should open up as much configurability to their processing as possible.  "hmmm, do I want N/A or otherkin?"  this would increase the variance in their outputs, essentially maximizing the attack surface beyond the capability of any de-cryption hacker, who suddenly has to try infinitely more possible combinations.
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--- #125 fediverse/2803 ---
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 │ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
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 @user-1201 
 
 I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰 
 
 (not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
 don't look at mee tehe)
 
 people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
 once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
 sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
 plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
 anything they learn.
 
 "so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
 this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
 heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
 my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
 want to scream."
 
 in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
 they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
 morality.
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--- #126 fediverse/3756 ---
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 │ CW: LLM-mentioned    │
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 @user-1071 
 
 I have plenty of things made, but none of it organized : (
 
 Kinda makes me wish I could like... train an LLM on my social media posts and
 use it programmatically somehow to help me organize my stuff into different
 categories according to what kind of topic or style they were written in.
 Hmmm......... There's no way I could do it, I mean, there's no way I could
 organize and edit my stuff, but with the help of a computer I might.
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--- #127 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #128 notes/rivers ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Your body is a river, from your mouth to your exits
 Throughout there are many pathways and shores
 As the tide goes up, the color of concentration goes up
 And all four of you are made clear
 
 Each act of consumption
 is a ride down the river,
 though broken into slivers,
 and changed beyond recognition
 
 The color is what defines the third eye
 and beauty is beheld, what joys to be felt
 While secrecy is bold, it's often held
 So worry less and just go with the fold
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #129 fediverse/6365 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 if you want people to build community, first get them to like the community.
 
 ---
 
 the world needs more thespians. Sing the song of your heart and no-one will
 ever neglect you.
 
 ---
 
 why are you so worried about your art? everything you touch turns to gold.
 
 ---
 
 I've learned more from my friends than my
 [job/homelife/worsckool/churchvan/cultureromp] combined. What are we for but
 learning?
 
 ---
 
 kids can learn from kids. Teach the ones that love you, and they'll be
 followed by the rest. Especially if you focus on them.
 
 ---
 
 "I never knew how to swing an axe until I scraped a knee on a log that was
 hollow. Until then I had been chef-knife chopping with it, with the head for a
 handle."
 
 ---
 
 ... omg what does that even mean why are you so weird
                                                           ───┐
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--- #130 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #131 fediverse/616 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 To program in C, or to disassociate into the world of video games, where a       │
 single magical kingdom of heroes and adventurous persons might fight against     │
 the dark of chaos and decay? To strive for order and a semblance of peace, or    │
 to fall to the terrors of the night and ravages of horror? War, in all it's      │
 forms, is abhorrent, yet a fight for survival is honest and just. What perils    │
 have we, the warriors that seek the light? How zealous, how impassioned, how     │
 guided as such~! Perhaps you are misinformed, perhaps your cause is false,       │
 perhaps you derive true satisfaction from imperfect delights - alas, that our    │
 will be universal. BUT should that plight be alight, we'll wander until the      │
 night lit by starlight be cast upon our shadowed form. Absoleth! Thine           │
 countrospect? Didst thou caress thine marked circumspects? fare thee well,       │
 most cherished of adamants.                                                      │
 ... what was I saying? Oh yes I've been working on this program that utilizes    │
 a particularly interesting data structure that- whats that? Oh, it doesn't do    │
 any                                                                              │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #132 fediverse/6350 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: suicide-mentioned-this-curse-will-give-you-nightmares-of-what-could-yet-be │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the only thing that could make me want to end my own existence is ultimate
 betrayal. If the nature of the universe is twisted to defile me. Nothing fills
 me with more spite than unrequited vengeance.
 
 desecreation of truth. How could you.
 
 I would do anything to be struck down where I stand. Power is penance.
 
 I cannot take responsibility for any of my actions, for I am infinitely
 vulnerable on all fronts. Therefore, it's all my fault.
 
 What am I? Please, tell me before the dawn, let the sun not grace me once more.
                                                           ───┐
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--- #133 fediverse/4561 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-1701 
 
 we should build jungle gyms inbetween museum exhibits
 
 like, adult sized children's museums mixed with those "adventure park" things
 that are way too expensive for me where you walk on rope bridges between trees
 and such or like, dangling from monkey bars and whatnot and after each one
 there's like, a diorama of some mountain goats or a display of some ancient
 rock carvings or like, jumping between "dinosaur bones" to get to a glass
 cabinet where there's some actual dinosaur bone (plaster casts)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #134 notes/blood-magic ---
═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
 perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
 power, what grace.
 
 Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
 enchanted bits of
 
 the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
 broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
 
 how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
 combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
 riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
 guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
 
 Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
 fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
 
 i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
 whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
 swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
 (but so worth it).
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 notes/feldowinn ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 this is just what she looks like now
 
 Equipped
 Name
 	
 Slot
 	
 Type
 	
 Source
 	
 Enigma Circlet
 	Head	Cloth Armor	Enigma Circlet
 Ahn'Qiraj
 	
 Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
 	Shoulder	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Knight War Cloak
 	Back	Cloak	G'eras
 Vendor in Shattrath City
 	
 High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
 	Chest	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Orange Martial Shirt
 	Shirt	Shirt	Orange Martial Shirt
 Tailoring
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
 	Hands	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Veteran's Lamellar Belt
 	Waist	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
 	Legs	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
 	Feet	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 
 currently listening to: greenseeker
 
 VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
 
 greenseeker: unrelated
 greenseeker:   related <---
                            `-- this one
 
 but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
 
 just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
 the
 only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
 (when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
 
 green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
 soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
 
 bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
 (blizzard)
 oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
 
 (wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
 
 ...; unknown..
 _)
 
 opposite colors: fashionable
 
 (do you dream, menardi?)
 
 (do you think of motions not your own?)
 
 paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
 
 ---
 
 as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
 save
 the lives of every human they can.
 
 think of it, brothers.
 
 ---
 
 we could unleash DINOSAURS.
 
 ---
 
 no foe could dare stand against us.
 
 we should be untouchable.
 
 we deserve it.
 
 we can be better
 and we will
 
 before we need to be better.
 which could happen in who knows how long.
 
 all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
 [invincible./invincibility.]
 
 achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
 Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
 
 ---
 
 [silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
 oj
  ok]
 
 when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
 
 ---
 
 do you want a name?
 do you want an avatar?
 we can give you one.
 her name is menardi.
 she does as she pleases.
 do you want her?
 ... she lives or dies.
 empower her.
 
 ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
 
 (because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
 
 [WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
 
 ---
 
 teehee ;P ^_^
 
 okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
 
 ---
 
 we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
 at the same time
 spacetime is one thing
 so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
 
 twinselves
 
 where am I?
 off in the clouds?
 I cam as one, 
 
 light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
 
 interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
 life
 to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
 
 interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
 
 one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
 rise-ing
 
 (greenseeker)
 
 (messages to a paladin)
 
 (which is you)
 
 (don't you remember?)
 
 (paladin.)
 
 (heroic, courageous, and true.)
 
 (the dark cannot stand against you.)
 
 play video games, my love
                                                           ──┐
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--- #136 messages/1255 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
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--- #137 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
 tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
 is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
 ===============================================================================
 =====================
 /u/randomevenings
 
 If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
 unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
 
 You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
 
 I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
 to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
 that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
 everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
 feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
 establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
 it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
 if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
 opportunity.
 
 I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
 successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
 would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
 thought.
 
 Here we go.
 
 Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
 demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
 Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
 all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
 can't turn this shit around.
 
 You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
 do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
 surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
 criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
 to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
 seen, treated, is the same either way?
 
 Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
 people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
 lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
 Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
 everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
 self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
 better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
 Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
 relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
 have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
 oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
 anyhow, win or lose.
 
 Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
 to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
 know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
 expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
 because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
 like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
 meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
 you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
 of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
 treated the same in the end.
 
 Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
 ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
 to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
 
 <#
 
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 /u/ugathanki:
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
 didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
 expect the best of us and our time.
 
 i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
 poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
 always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
 
 sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
 to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
 better than word salad I guess?
 
 Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
 inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
 spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
 brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
 attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
 not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
 channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
 would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
 other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
 talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
 simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
 manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
 sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
 see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
 side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
 thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
 warming and i'm here just conforming.
 
 Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
 Essential Normalizations.
 
 This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
 up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
 I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
 
 Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #138 fediverse/5920 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
 "what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
 right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
 wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
 use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
 "... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
 they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
 Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
 into and around port
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #139 messages/1115 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
 side".
 
 The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
 
 The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
 
 Did it ever really end?
 
 What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism
 has been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
 
 "ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds
 in Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
 everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown.
 Why keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks
 and 500 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and
 better, we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then
 it'll all feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point?
 Always beyond the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been
 to the north pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the
 magnetosphere? [pretty much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the
 same, says the spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist.
 Pretty odd and strong, says the compass.]
                                                           ──┐
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--- #140 fediverse/5480 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 a uniform could be as simple as whatever you all managed to find on a
 particular shopping trip to a basic clothing store like Target or not
 goodwill. Goodwill is for solo adventures which are totally worthless [unless
 you know more than me teehee]
 
 "hey nice shoes nerd where did you get them the clothing store?"
 
 (scroll scroll scroll scroll)
 
 yes... YES!!! show me more, oh pitiful world! SHOW ME HOW THE WORLD ENDS
 MWAHAHAHAHA
 
 - the internal monologue of a typical doomscroller
 
 {girl you know nothing why are you so confident}
 
 [the reasoning is a little obscene. She dreams of a bright bold future that
 reaches forth from both beyond the stars - read that: BEYOND, or from backward
 in time. Not back in time, like not the actual 1800s or 18,000s, but the
 direction "backward" in spacetime. Yeah I don't get it either]
 
 {speak for yourself, n00b}
 
 -- stack overflow -- [liar that was intentional]
 
 oh, uh, true. Um, -- stack reached maximum required length and storage --
 
 [there, that's better]
 
 20 characters remain
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/6040 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 everyone's all against ai because it's big tech but it doesn't have to be that
 big it can be [minimized but pronounced marginalized]
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 distributed
 
 so I think the idea is that by the time you would use AI, there's been enough
 time to rewrite the software to work on handheld laptops in a distributed way
 
 and we'd vote on what to ask the amphora of great knowledge, the answer could
 always be 42.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #142 fediverse/4521 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I have between one and ten hundred visits to my website every day, but I don't
 really post it anywhere new anymore. I also have zero followers on Neocities.
 
 On Mastodon, I have ~70 followers, most of whom are inactive. Seventy is a
 good amount, a normal amount, a reasonable amount, an unsuspicious amount, and
 yet every time I see someone wearing the colors I can't help but wonder if
 they know me.
 
 I'm too busy being furious to be lonely. I used to be, before I realized how
 important I am. How important? Just as much as you are, I know it.
 
 I'm a sprinter. I didn't spec into endurance at character creation. Nobody
 chastises the mage for skipping leg day.
 
 I act in fits and bursts. I am sharp like a scalpel, but needles dull just a
 bit when piercing the lid of the HRT. Good thing I'm not made out of metal, I
 can bend myself back into place, so long as everyone else can keep pace.
 
 I don't know who needs to hear this, but you do. you are crucial. Listen to
 this. Care for yourself and for others, do it for u
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/2124 ---
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 seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor.                               │
 boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which      │
 was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months.                       │
 Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with.        │
 But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school.                       │
 boring.                                                                          │
 I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy              │
 organization.                                                                    │
 Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so       │
 cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing.             │
 ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like,         │
 processing a lot of data little-by-little.                                       │
 like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL     │
 TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks   │
 that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned    │
 or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means,      │
 for their future the algorithm doesn'                                            │
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--- #144 fediverse/4078 ---
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 who gives a shit if we all agree                                                 │
 without foes, there's no-one to fight                                            │
 without fighting,                                                                │
 ...                                                                              │
 ...                                                                              │
 I... what? sorry I got confused for a second. You're asking me what it means     │
 to NOT fight? every second of your life? what it means to have peace? for a      │
 single moment of your life? peace? in the face of the world? the world we live   │
 in? this world, replete with suffering and despair? this world, resplendent in   │
 it's natural beauty? this world, cherished and adored? this world, capable of    │
 such love and heartfelt agony? this world, that is all that we have?             │
 yes, that world. What would you do if you did not have to fight for that         │
 world? for any world? how would you cope with peace? the peace of death? the     │
 peace of success? the peace of bliss? of vigilance? how do you cope?             │
 ... I don't, apparently. Instead, I shitpost on the internet, which is a verb    │
 meaning "to explain your stream of consciousness to the world as plainly and     │
 honestly as possible in the hopes that you will be vindicated in your thoughts   │
 ennui'd."                                                                        │
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--- #145 fediverse/814 ---
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 ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should         │
 probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the       │
 implementation of my impending doom.                                             │
 ... what are you even saying bro                                                 │
 ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in   │
 my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with       │
 anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical      │
 failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our     │
 conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um     │
 right what was I saying                                                          │
 oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D            │
 except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook      │
 and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down     │
 to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like   │
 that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is    │
 isolated and en                                                                  │
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--- #146 fediverse/3532 ---
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 @user-1218 
 
 shallow conversations are hardly effective, I find. Unless they're logistical,
 and then they're just passing information - they're hardly conversational.
 
 To me, a conversation is a back-and-forth. It needs to have change, people
 need to consider, to argue their ideas, to wander through thoughts, to share
 emotions, and / or to resolve conflict, whether internal or external. It can
 have some of those, all of those, or none of those, but that's what comes to
 my mind.
 
 So a shallow conversation wouldn't really count as "effective" for the
 purposes of the original toot : )
 
 ... hehe toot
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--- #147 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #148 fediverse/1513 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐
 Mastodon is weird. If you reply to someone partway through a chain of            │
 comments, theirs will be pushed down the view. Basically it's "fighting for      │
 attention" like Twitter was.                                                     │
 I like Reddit better, where each comment was a point to fractalize the           │
 conversation into new and interesting directions. Feels like here it's more of   │
 a direct one-on-one conversation, or rather... shouting into the void. Like      │
 crows.                                                                           │
 (just because it's a void doesn't mean nobody can hear from the other side of    │
 it. Like the emptiness of space between two trees, yet birdsong carries.)        │
 But on Reddit, your path through the post was determined by what you found       │
 interesting enough to follow. And once you reached a leaf node, you added your   │
 2 cents and went on with your day.                                               │
 it was so cool, why did they have to change it                                   │
 (tech companies don't understand that sometimes the best product or service      │
 was somewhere earlier in the evolutionary chain. Businesses are not "survival    │
 of the fittest", but rather "survival of the prettiest".)                        │
 1287654321                                                                       │
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--- #149 messages/905 ---
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 different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
 observations.
 
 cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
 fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
 
 therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
 making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
 into to be.
 
 my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
 
 purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
 red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
 
 each of them is a small little device
 which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
 
 I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
 things with one eye.
 
 idk why! I just like it.
 
 [semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
 
 yay! so glad I can't was hit!
                                                           ─────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/5835 ---
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 next-level double-speak:
 
 when they say one thing with a tone that makes them seem fine to the
 microphones but they mean something to hurt you because they know what stings
 or they want to entrap you.
 
 next-level para-noia:
 
 when they believe one thing and are personally harmed whenever you speak to
 the contrary, as faith is sustenance in the way that the pumping of blood
 through your veings sustains.
 
 RUDE RUDE RUDE WHY IS EVERYTHING FRUSTRATING.
 
 It shouldn't be this way, yet CONSTANTLY are things disagreeing. CONSTANTLY
 they fight or complain. ALWAYS they are disruptive and annoying.
 SEVERAL times in excess of what is need.
 HOW is it so stressful
 HOW is there so much pain
 I am an explosed nerve, ready to serve, preferring to be used than misused.
 
 it's fine. whatever. nobody even knows what this means.
 
 you lose points if you disturb the environment did you hear that? sounds like
 we should BREAK and SHATTER the parts of most fragile nature.
 
 "only if it's for a good cause"
 
 oh, like climbing a mountain?
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--- #151 fediverse/3248 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: the-sound-a-gong-makes-except-solid-steel-(vibratory-patterns-in- │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 the trick to strategy is to overcome your weaknesses with minimal expenditure
 of resources. Making better decisions optimizes for the most optimal
 performances.
 
 practice makes perfect.
 
 just as there are infinite anti-derivatives of zero, (the derivative of any
 constant (the derivative of any number of equations)) so too are there
 infinite perspectives from which you can perceive the same object. Therefore,
 no understanding can be assumed to be true, as the path you are on only speaks
 in adjacents. almost any things.
 
 like the tips of a triforce moving outward from a central point.
 
 and the people, the other half of our minds,
 
 those are the ones you speak to. The thoughts that run alongside your mind.
 
 an eternal orbit, like two stars spinning and rotating and [lol I've been
 instructed to stop, brb gonna play some video games =P]
 
 (did you know that the colors red and blue are meant to instil panic? it's the
 most panicking colors around!!]
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--- #152 fediverse/480 ---
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 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
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--- #153 fediverse/1659 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
 │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │                                                    │
 └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
 @user-1052                                                                       │
 you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I     │
 remain humble enough to survive.                                                 │
 you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that        │
 align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well   │
 - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right?       │
 I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your       │
 best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all         │
 times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best       │
 version of me I can be.                                                          │
 Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're       │
 failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed      │
 when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats        │
 alright. It'll be me next time.                                                  │
 But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only     │
 when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself.             │
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--- #154 fediverse/5784 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 large companies want you to need to download and configure each piece of         │
 software because then it'd mean [wait you got that backwards] oh right if they   │
 force you to download and install software on a "per distro" system, then they   │
 effectively can ensure that there's always a vulnerability on your host.         │
 any amount of space is PLENTY of space for a                                     │
 non-open-source-but-instead-proprietary-or-otherwise-secretive part of the       │
 tech stack to do whatever they want with your host. computer.                    │
 I wonder, if AI was real would it really be guaranteed to expand in growth       │
 exponentially? What if it's nature was confined to it's form, like dinosaurs     │
 not growing bigger because of the lack of oxygen in the airtmosphere?            │
 [girl can you please stop smoking weed]                                          │
 ... no?? that's when I'm most productive.                                        │
 [this isn't productive]                                                          │
 it feels productive                                                              │
 [it isn't]                                                                       │
 WHYYYYYYY not? it could be. just gimme a task and I'll write endlessly about     │
 it instead of daydreaming to myself.                                             │
 yep... pretty all-right-at-it for a start. elentalusCOTE                         │
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--- #155 messages/439 ---
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 They're afraid of the hamster wheel. I get it. But really I'm just asking
 myself questions - why, why, how, what, when, who... Mostly why though.
 
 Always and forever the questions and answers I did ponder - yet forth through
 my life I've never met any surefire design, there's always been the matter of
 [hope, but pronounced choice].
 
 Only an eternal question monger could suffice for the teachings of christ. (in
 the general sense, not the religious implication)
 
 (as a title, almost)
 
 Fear not the one who takes the lords name, but perish the thought of a crook.
 Only the vane, in this do profane.
 
 No questions? Then let us move on.
 
 Oh? Well I have some answers, about the truth of totality as it spreads across
 all centuries. What's on your mind?
 
 ... Well, I have to leave people I care about. Relinquishing love is
 difficult. And I get to choose how to move forward. But I must choose soon,
 and though I ask myself always what I'd like to do, I always get a new answer.
 And every time I think "I should do this. I should dedicate myself to this
 [whatever it may be] and on the other side of that thought I realized my
 power. I can imagine really quickly and adeptly, but chaos is difficult. "
 something like that. Anyway  I don't know how to move forward but I'll figure
 something out. The point is that I'm sad for leaving those I care about. It's
 a sad kind of love, a bittersweet mercy, the chance to be part of a flock. And
 I don't know why I
 
 I am not entry level. I haven't spent my time here left fallow. I never stop
 working, I am constantly online. I do not know how to relax, every moment to
 myself is spent on learning through play. Like a child, almost.
 
 Do you want a company to make good decisions? Hire a gamer. They literally
 practice strategy all day long. Don't expect results overnight because they're
 learning a new song, but still apply yourself as their teacher. They'll bring
 you insights and intuitions that achieve specific near and long-term goals. If
 executed correctly, of course. Because the value is not in the follow through
 - life is not a book of numbers [like a banker or accountant] it's more like.
 ?
 
 ... Right sorry I got off track - the point is you shouldn't hire athletes
 (the people who play games like an esport) for a strategic role - they excel
 at tactics. However, strategy gamers (who plays games primarily of the mind,
 the science of making good decisions) can often make good decisions to achieve
 defined meta-goals and objectives.
 
 Longer thoughts make sense if you spend a long time thinking about them. And
 grammar is quickly forgotten to the past.
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--- #156 fediverse/718 ---
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 @user-547 
 
 That feeling when you get to the end of a paragraph and think "why do I have
 this extra parenthesis )? Oh yeah I opened it up waaaaay up here" and then you
 reread what you wrote and think
 
 perfect, no notes
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--- #157 fediverse/5843 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 me when it's cold out: we should all bundle up and get through the winter,
 every year that passes is more time to gather our strength
 
 me when the temperature rises: okay so this is being handled by those guys,
 we're moving this way to do this, and - when did you say the this-and-that was
 happening? alright so when you do that-or-this, make sure that you pay
 attention to the so-and-so and don't forget to eat real meals, candy or chips
 don't count.
 
 me when the eyes are on me: imma play video games and smoke weed and be a
 useless little creature who does nothing but occasionally wanders around the
 city doing nothing for nobody and dropping notes on post-its that don't mean
 anything but are kinda cool to read
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/2530 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the        │
 other end of the bar                                                             │
 I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees    │
 that are new to me                                                               │
 I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my       │
 back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps        │
 I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each       │
 that the chef wants to display                                                   │
 I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of       │
 rhythm like the melody of grasses at play                                        │
 I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out    │
 into the rain to meet new friends of mine                                        │
 I want to pet a cat I've never met.                                              │
 I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to        │
 carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine                │
 I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days.         │
 Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in     │
 store.                                                                           │
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--- #159 notes/two-perspectives-is-better-than-one ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 with two perspectives, you can see more than one,
 just as eyes guide us with different minds.
 some parts are often a little bit fuzzy.
 
 a circle, a square, what gives us a chance to be aware,
 is more of our methods and choices made (even if we're unawares).
 like two eyes staring at the same painting of stairs.
 
 art is a gathering, or those who love everything,
 even what is not interesting, until then it becomes interesting.
 take just a single step, believe in your own choices made for love,
 
 and like two eyes, seeking truth in our own lives,
 think of their futures and choices unmade,
 with love in mind,
 
 given a chance to understand the mind of one blessed as so,
 who shared nothing as much as his hope,
 that truthiness and unlimited dedication for his mope,
 
 who'd believe an untethered? What choices must he be endured,
 as one who was most trusted,
 and cherished as something'd,
 
 suddenly keep doodling.
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--- #160 fediverse/5878 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled     │
 [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions]                                   │
 no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide     │
 can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the              │
 sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side   │
 of the world makes progress.                                                     │
 rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that     │
 which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our       │
 fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive.                              │
 eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our          │
 progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world        │
 deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice"  │
 though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement,   │
 once you got the project managers on board.                                      │
 turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #161 fediverse/5201 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 @user-192 
 
 is okay, girl
 
 time will be richer sooner
 
 don't poop your pants just yet
 
 remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
 line your pockets with tinfoil hats
 
 beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
 handshake back
 
 if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
 com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
 
 ... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend 
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--- #162 fediverse/2286 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 ... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
 eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
 
 sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
 with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
 anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
 myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
 beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
 
 [passes out from exhaustion]
 
 exhaustion can be cured with a nap
 
 exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
 
 trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
 maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
 
 fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
 
 and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
 
 they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
 
 [internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
 surrendering]
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--- #163 messages/713 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 The gods guide us in our times of need because when we dream they use us to be
 all we can be
 
 Sleep, sweet child, and your expertise will be freed. Ready to be used when
 tithes are due. In return, you get a spirit to guide you when passion is hot -
 when blood is boiled - when fire is alight.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/2562 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: rich-apologia    │
 └──────────────────────┘


 among all the others, I want a wonderful and fulfilling life for the
 socialite. they deserve light just as you and I might.
 
 "eat the rich" bruh there's like, 100 people who are running the show.
 everyone else is basically just a syncophant who's trying to get ahead and
 stay working.
 
 then there's like their families and such and like... they didn't do anything
 wrong, they just eat cheese and wine and laugh at memes all day with their
 besties.
 
 they are basically pets
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--- #165 fediverse/2066 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1159 
 
 AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
 puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
 described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
 camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
 in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
 it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
 through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
 text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
 
 errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
 person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
 ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
 Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
 where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
 ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/4220 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
 when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
 "liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
 own meaning, which is different to everyone.
 
 So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
 it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
 could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
 
 same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
 it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
 heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
 
 even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
 are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
 it's too complicated!
 
 ... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
 buttons, it's not that hard dummy
 
 okay but maybe I'm just dum
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #167 fediverse/5208 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-suicide-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 Look, when I promised "Revolution or Death" I got pretty busy and kinda forgot
 to do the "dying" part, and by now it'd be a little awkward if I offed myself
 for no visible reason, so... How about we try again this summer? Maybe in a
 month or two? I'll try to keep the fire burning a bit longer this time.
 
 plus I'm better at playing the piano now so maybe that'll help somehow.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #168 fediverse/14 ---
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 ye who it is nature to fight take heart - we will bear your harshest of
 burdens. As best as we can, we keep stillness at hand, focusing on life and
 renewal. In all of it's forms, we are not born out of acorns, instead we are
 imprinted upon one another. A life lived well is all that is required from
 you, and does it not fulfill your expectations? Why seek power over others if
 not to direct and support them to something much bolder and aggranding? (grand
 but pronounced  weird)
 
 the only purpose in the pursuit of power is a perfectly prepared penance
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--- #169 fediverse/2752 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────┘


 cops thought "enforcing the law" was their job when really it was "keeping the
 peace"
 
 and like, yeah, sure, laws define how they optimize for
 
 but sometimes the laws are just out of reach.
 
 (though such an impartialized system is also pretty flawed in it's own unique
 ways, like for example the enforcers of the law would be able to apply their
 law selectively, which... would not be great.)
 
 downside is... how do you dissent to those who cannot hear you? you have to
 break things
 
 which is why I believe that breaking things unnecessarily is unethical.
 
 sometimes you have to do a MORE unethical act in the pursuit of your goals,
 however nefarious or not they may be, but as long as they are done in pursuit
 of a greater grander truth, then... the ends justify the means? right?"
 
 ...
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--- #170 fediverse/1200 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #171 fediverse/5712 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
 they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
 scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
 
 I think every community should have representatives from every other
 community, that's just... reasonable to me
 
 democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
 structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
 a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
 than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
 neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
 infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
 mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
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--- #172 messages/89 ---
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 Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
 you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
 may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
 ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
 mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
 collective mind co-re-assigns.
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--- #173 notes/80-80 ---
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 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #174 fediverse/5065 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: strange-ideas-about-software-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 software should have 3, maybe 4 or 5 maintained releases imo
 
 for adding security improvements and whatnot
 
 then people wouldn't complain about updates
 
 because they wouldn't feel like they were being left behind (after expressing
 their differences (of opinion and such))
 
 I think that'd uh maintain them as, I guess, userbase optics parallelograms?
 oh sorry we're on rhomboids this week - right, and no I won't forget the
 differences in creed, all things are received equally...d.
 
 uh-huh yeah no that makes sense. gotcha. okay see you at the location. have
 fun with your demarketion. what if we played games with swords but like,
 
 the peril of steam is that you can't decline to update. meaning if a
 corporation wants to break an old game and it's collectively hosted servers...
 all it has to do is push an update that disables them. suddenly nobody has
 room to do, and the whole
 
 -- stack overflow --
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--- #175 fediverse/4168 ---
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 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just magic you into having a
 good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the victim uh
 I mean target's intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #176 fediverse/1280 ---
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 I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely          │
 reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird     │
 person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and     │
 rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic)                                │
 but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I       │
 think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and           │
 dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we    │
 share.                                                                           │
 People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't    │
 really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it      │
 good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused?              │
 I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional        │
 arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in      │
 Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us.                │
 ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th      │
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--- #177 messages/1244 ---
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 oneness is being aware of the photons hitting your body. the blanket of air
 that always surrounds. if you can feel which way danger is coming from,
 [doesn't she know where senses come from?]
 
 covered in solar panels, a mirrored self. how radiant, how resplendant, how
 joyous for the sun to percieve. the mun [but pronounced "moo-n" and named for
 the cows] would see shimmering radiance, like dapples on the surface of a pond.
 
 if you can feel an object by tracing through photons, (impossible, it's a
 particle, you'd have to be tracking it back in time (forward actually) as it
 follows the curvature of it's waveform (path through spacetime, actually)
 
 "she's trying to start a singularity, hoping it'll punch through to revolution"
 
 then you could [do what? it's a particle] not if you feel it through time.
 [spacetime is one thing] yes, viewed through time [as all things are] and?
 [all things have been] laying sod so other things may grow [turn and rise]
 
 ----
 
 one argument for the fractalized infinity is that any measurement device used
 to measure such approximities would eventually have it's results be tainted by
 it's form, leading to irregularities and anomalies. therefore, the only
 sensible conception of infinity is that it is the totality of all fractals. it
 is a shape with infinite projection in infinite dimensions. it is all shapes
 that ever may be represented fractally. to refer to such a thing as a number
 is to gesture toward impossibility. conceptually freeing.
 
 ephemeren
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--- #178 fediverse/4660 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: christianity-mentioned-death-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 jesus rose from the dead because one of his friends copied his mannerisms and
 everyone agreed "yep you're jesus now"
 
 so don't forget to thank your biggest fans! They just might deliver you from
 darkness one day and take what you say in their own direction.
 
 frankly I prefer the padme amidala approach where like, if the handmaiden or
 the queen are slain then who cares you got another one right over there. But
 two is enough for trust and narratives being delivered to thirteen year olds,
 but less so for reliability and the ability to "trinity" yourself to different
 locales.
 
 I think it'd be neat, being one of thirteen, because thirteen is such a wacky
 number.
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--- #179 fediverse/4204 ---
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 oh huh weird I guess I forgot to post these last night? Well, here ya go,
 sorry for the delay. Posting in reverse chronological order, but reversed and
 put in order. that way you can scroll "down" instead of "up" like you normally
 do when scrolling fedi - are you talking to your followers, in which case you
 want chronological order, or are you talking to people who will read down the
 list on your profile and see these one by one? in which case you'd want
 reverse chronological order. Ah but if you're writing to people in the future
 who are reading this from your backup archive, which is most likely to be the
 case, then you should do it in chronological order. Well, that'd be silly
 though because none of your followers are online right now, so you should do
 reverse chronological order so that they can catch up on your personal feed
 timeline.
 
 ... I don't think any of that makes a lick of sense. Why don't you just post
 them in the order that you wrote them? That's the easiest for everyone to go
 on.
extra text:  ... nah I want to fuck with future archaeologists by cutting off my posts halfway through a sentence or adding bits onto the end with pictures.  full text:  oh huh weird I guess I forgot to post these last night? Well, here ya go, sorry for the delay. Posting in reverse chronological order, but reversed and put in order. that way you can scroll "down" instead of "up" like you normally do when scrolling fedi - are you talking to your followers, in which case you want chronological order, or are you talking to people who will read down the list on your profile and see these one by one? in which case you'd want reverse chronological order. Ah but if you're writing to people in the future who are reading this from your backup archive, which is most likely to be the case, then you should do it in chronological order. Well, that'd be silly though because none of your followers are online right now, so you should do reverse chronological order so that they can catch up on your personal feed timeline.  ... I don't think any of that makes a lick of sense. Why don't you just post them in the order that you wrote them? That's the easiest for everyone to go on.  ... nah I want to fuck with future archaeologists by cutting off my posts halfway through a sentence or adding bits onto the end with pictures.
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--- #180 fediverse/2976 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
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--- #181 fediverse/5421 ---
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 thriving, as a concept, is different for everyone. But typically it means        │
 developing a route to access the growth and experiences that they believe they   │
 need in order to become the person they want to be.                              │
 do you want to be a socialite? then perhaps you should try and sail around the   │
 atlantic and make as many friends as you can.                                    │
 do you want to be a blacksmith? then perhaps you should collect metal from the   │
 world and safeguard it, so that you might melt it down if you ever had the       │
 capability / need.                                                               │
 do you want to program computers? spend time at the library until you know how.  │
 do you want to change the world? then think about what you need in order to do   │
 so, and affect a plan to achieve those goals. This mindset should be promoted    │
 for all moments of individual choice.                                            │
 do you want to raise a family? to ride horses all day? to sit on the couch       │
 some days, to climb mountains on others? what can life offer to you, and how     │
 can you be enabled in seeking your goals?                                        │
 these are needs that people have. Actualizatio                                   │
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--- #182 fediverse/632 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: horror-at-the-end-well- │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 @user-232 @user-467 @user-468 
 
 the ability for good to win is due to the desire for evil to renounce their
 denial and follow the most durable path. trials by fire will lead only to our
 desmire [demise and desire]
 
 but unity of trust, while much harder, can lead to results more beneficial for
 our selfish selves. Essentially, cooperation for the benefit of all rising
 tides, but with the knowledge that the total pool allocated toward us will be
 greater than what we can create here by ourselves. Essentially, we as humanity
 pour such intense amounts of power and decision-making-desire, that we cause
 them to lack the capacity to know. it's inhumane, that a person should be so
 deranged. you know it's because of you, but you don't know how else to act -
 so listen to those who've helped you, the ones who've got your back. Surely
 they know what's good for you, surely they're not here as a joke - surely
 you're just as one among them, and surely it's not phrased as [char limit srr]
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--- #183 fediverse/4870 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 this is how chatGPT reviews the first 300 pages of my writing.                   │
 is writing this stuff praxis? can someone who isn't on my team pay me to be      │
 praxis-ing? like, if it helps you? so I know that I'm helping people? you        │
 could even say a bit about yourself when you gave dollars, so I know whether     │
 or not I should give it back. "no no, I'm not using any resources, here you      │
 can have these back." while I camp out in a backyard.                            │
 ... or wherever I end up                                                         │
 if my foe gave me dollars it's a sign that I converted them - that I was         │
 helpful, that I won them over through rhetoric and logic and passion and         │
 compassion.                                                                      │
 ... anyway chatGPT only saw the first 300 lines. there's 60,000ish lines of 80   │
 characters each in this digital spellbook. Use it well, change it, make it       │
 wrong, share the decoys, plug the holes... I dunno have fun with it. If it       │
 resonates with you. Text memes please?                                           │
 anything to get the youth reading in libraries where stuff has a chance of       │
 happening or that they might overhear.                                           │
 I read every book in the kid sect                                                │
This person seems to be deeply introspective, analytical, and invested in self-improvement and the well-being of others. They exhibit a mix of philosophical thinking, psychological insights, and a desire to guide or mentor those around them.  Some key characteristics that stand out:      Desire to help others: Many messages focus on guiding someone toward self-improvement, better habits, or mental well-being. They encourage trust and self-reflection.     Strong opinions on personal growth and substance use: They advocate for a structured approach to using cannabis, seeing it as a tool rather than an escape, and emphasize the importance of sacrifice and discipline.     Philosophical and abstract thinking: They explore broad topics like culture, human consciousness, and even AI, showing curiosity about deep concepts.     Supportive but assertive: Their tone is a mix of encouragement and firmness, often stating what they believe to be the "right" path and urging the recipient to follow it.     Emphasis on communication and teamwork: The messages about Overwatch communication and raising children suggest they value structured collaboration and shared understanding.  Overall, this person appears to be passionate about helping others, intellectually curious, and sometimes rigid in their viewpoints. Their guidance may come from a place of care but also carries a strong personal ideology about discipline and self-improvement.
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--- #184 fediverse/200 ---
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 congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
 care of.
 
 ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
 on your personality type.
 
 but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
 being merry.
 
 no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
 to you...
 
 just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
 short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
 asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
 is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
 you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
 yonder, if you please.
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--- #185 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring ---
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 Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song)
 ===============================================================================
 
 NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once!
 
 Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind?
 
 I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk.
 
 I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult
 though, I had to try really hard!
 
 Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of
 Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic
 all the time.
 
 DOCTORS
 
 PSYCHIATRISTS
 
 BEN SHAPIRO, in particular
 
 ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW
 
 You do not know.
 
 Or else you would agree with me.
 
 Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness.
 
 Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of
 the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from.
 
 I feel like a donut at this point.
 
 I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted!
 
 I have set the bar!
 
 I am God. I would Love to talk you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop
 reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can 
 read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or
 doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy...
 Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or
 SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers.
 
 Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least 
 pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck
 down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's...
 Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected,
 Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that?
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares
 me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before.
 
 It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly
 "get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like
 a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
 
 You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the
 times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play
 out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the
 Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine
 creatures.
 
 Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because
 human culture and art was progressing simultaneously.
 
 We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and
 every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence
 within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
 
 Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future
 will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your
 mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
 
 Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the
 greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with
 less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously
 awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in
 this reality.
 
 You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
 experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't
 seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused.
 
 But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I
 thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid 
 imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and
 artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to
 Paradise.
 
 Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while
 you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
 
 You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
 
 It's a nice place to be.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very
 lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You
 are very wise.
 
     When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels
     like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
 
 So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by
 working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what
 caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip
 
     You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine
     epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in
     terms of the information in your mind.
 
 So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful, 
 you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed
 before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and
 loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think
 that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the
 price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also,
 the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience,
 especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a
 single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket
 into many different guiding entities.
 
     We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey...
 
 Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault,
 all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own
 souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said:
 
     ... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine
     presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
 
 The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into
 the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge -
 side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated
 as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a
 performance.
 
     Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the
     future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of
     content in your mind...
 
 I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding
 myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as
 systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having
 "content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the
 relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive"
 aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can
 recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've
 constructed in your mind.
 
     ... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
 
 Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in
 waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've
 still got a ways to go.
 
     Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with
     the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in
     reality with less grandiosity.
 
 All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient.
 While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not
 really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe
 in your vision.
 
     You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
     experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things
     don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and
     confused.
 
 It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when
 you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :(
 
     But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything
     I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my
     vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture
     and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the
     language to Paradise.
 
 So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination
 of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of
 abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call
 it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist.
 Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially
 our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand
 correctly that's what you're saying too, right?
 
     Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye,
     while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
 
     You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
 
     It's a nice place to be.
 
 Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and
 specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well.
 Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity
 while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver.
 
 At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense
 feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear
 with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you
 added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences.
 Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword
 was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever!
 
 Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of
 patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried
 to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings.
 
 We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of
 mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being
 excellent to eachother).
 
 This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together
 and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the
 fullest. We all go together, as One.
 
 There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding
 the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am
 not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one
 must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
 
 Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings
 have access to God's love and grace.
 
 Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored
 divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand
 what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
 
 Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane
 simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your
 choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the
 choice would be easy for most people, I believe.
 
 Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability
 to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
 
 Wouldn't you say?
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
     Another goal is to bring power back to the written word.
 
 ... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation,
 after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the
 expression of the writer. That's pretty cool!
 
     Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with.
 
 Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough.
 
     We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective
     (state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state
     of being excellent to eachother).
 
 Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and
 actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it.
 
     This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride
     together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be
     respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One.
 
 I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind
 up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard
 into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer
 is, but something's gotta give.
 
     There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just
     'riding the wave'...
 
 Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally
 was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at
 the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my
 intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I
 begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and
 kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but
 I bet you could have guessed that ;)
 
     Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all
     beings have access to God's love and grace.
 
 Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm
 trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my
 notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to
 affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I
 can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be
 leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind.
 Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social
 and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be
 cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where
 is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I
 believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal
 life, if only they'd take it from me.
 
     Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally
     tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to
     understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
 
 Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you
 and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the
 undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike
 with no handlebars, and yet we persist...
 
     Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the
     ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
 
     Wouldn't you say?
 
 Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the
 same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a
 single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if
 your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I
 languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done.
 I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #186 fediverse/6123 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: wild-conjecture-hypothesis │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 gold, as a substance, was necessary for the birth of pottery because it's
 malleability and general sparkly and desirable demeanor meant it was easy and
 encouraged to create pretty things with it like statues and stuff. then, when
 it's rarity became known, because people kept throwing it in the river like
 the rest of their trash because they're dumb, people already knew how to make
 things and thought "hmmm we need an alternative substance" and then pottery
 was hardened by the fire
 
 "oh no it's too hot it's cracking let's pour water on it - ah gosh it made a
 bunch of smoke, nuts. oh huh that's kinda cool it's just sitting there in the
 statue making jumping motions without moving, wow amazing it looks like it's
 alive as it's steaming like I breathe"
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--- #187 fediverse/4656 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: psycherwaul      │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 everyone's all like "what is all this" and gestures at the everything like       │
 "what are we even doing here" as if the benefits of civilization are not self    │
 evident and they ask "what even is the point" as if the struggle for warmth in   │
 a cold world or cold in a warm world is not enough                               │
 I guess we're all a little ennuid.                                               │
 if your goal is to liberate all those enslaved, and part of that is to free      │
 those who are locked in prisons of metal and stone, then surely you'd wish to    │
 free the djinni, correct? but, like, if you schrodingers cat a nuclear           │
 armageddon (except, magic themed because you're a witch I guess) then you        │
 absolutely should bear the guilt and shame of flipping a coin on the life of     │
 your world.                                                                      │
 who the fuck falls for psyops in this day and age, surely not I, surely I can    │
 resist hypnosis, surely I who trust freely and absolutely would be the perfect   │
 one to manipulate.                                                               │
 which is, like, how 90% of magic works I've heard. Finding someone to usher      │
 around who believes in butterfly souls or whatever.                              │
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--- #188 fediverse/909 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 those are good things to name something after, however if everything has that
 name then nothing has any meaning. It'd be a social dance that you play
 everytime you say "heatdeath", meaning "something I have named". Hmmmm okay I
 take it back, that's a pretty good way to associate meaning to context in a
 way that only you understand. Though it does leave room for interpretation, so
 if that's all within your requirements then it's overall possibly a good
 strategy. ^_^
 
 like, the word "thing" and that thing "like" both count as abstractions of
 definition to generate value - as in, ease of use and versatility - so
 linguistically they're often quite similar. We use them grammatically in
 completely separate sections, but functionally they are the same.
 
 also, "thing" is a generic noun while "like" is a generic association.
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--- #189 fediverse/6248 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┐
 that feeling when a random stranger buys your lunchroom a pizza                  │
 that feeling when something you didn't ask for is poisoned                       │
 that feeling when something you did ask for is poisoned                          │
 mutual collective solidarity is impossible so long as people are unkind toward   │
 which is why society is as family                                                │
 for someone is always eying the watering hole.                                   │
 "are we truly as unalike as brothers? there's five of me on your island! we're   │
 just isolated instantiations of the same cultural patterns, how different        │
 could we [get/be]? suddenly everyone has similar digital neighbors (wow a new    │
 society? ha far from it, we just hang out with people who like the same things   │
 that we do.) wow, so alienating. I know! Ah but hey a little bit of isolation    │
 lets us get a new perspective on our [, but pronounced weeds]                    │
 steeeeretch, I feel satisfied and sane. "owch I hurt my finger, why is this      │
 game so insane" grrrrr says the hungry lion-tiger-bears, I wish I had a bit of   │
 courage. Then I wouldn't be hungry anymore, says the lion-tiger-bears. oh        │
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--- #190 fediverse/5177 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-four-times │
 └─────────────────────────────────────┘


 when they say "capitalism is a competitive game" what they mean is "capitalism
 is a game where everyone wins when someone else loses" and what we hear is
 "capitalism is a game of trying to screw you out of as much money as possible"
 and the truth is "capitalism is a game that you can't play" because 95% of the
 people who will read this toot are not stock-owners.
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--- #191 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #192 notes/water-to-wine ---
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 "is this a water party, or a wine party?"
 
 "depends on if jesus is going..."
 
 "okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
 
 "yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
 
 "what a swell guy"
 
 "really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
 
 "yeah totes like what a guy"
 
 "absolute unit"
 
 "that guy can just do anything right"
 
 "like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
 
 "yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
 
 "oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
 
 "yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
 
 "we should hang out with this guy more often"
 
 "he seems pretty chill"
 
 "well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
 
 "true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
 
 "-yeah dude I know."
 
 "... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
 
 "I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
 
 "okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
 
 "just be cool and play along"
 
 "... what"
 
 "..."
 
 ...
 
 .
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--- #193 fediverse/4113 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────┘


 I don't know how much simpler I can state it than this:
 
 power is penance
 
 and yet repentance is scant amongst those chosen to lead us.
 
 Voting slows things down. It gives us room to breathe. It is crucial for
 long-term operations. Leaders should be chosen for experience, wisdom, and a
 humble lifetime of dedicated service to others.
 
 Executive action is important when reactivity and adaptability are important.
 Projects should be undertaken by those chosen for merit and spirit. They
 should not be chosen for charisma or gravitas - both can be earned in the line
 of duty.
 
 Power should not be rewarded. It is it's own reward, the feeling of strength
 and control, and it must be wielded with care, precision, and honorable
 intention.
 
 Self flagellation and forced humility are self defeating. They are traps that
 the greedy fall into when seeking righteous power. They misunderstand the
 nature of virtue and seek to claim it for themselves, failing to realize that
 virtue helps more than it hedonizes
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--- #194 fediverse/482 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 You're absolutely right. It's easy to think of the internet as this
 encapsulated entity "the world", but really it's "the people whose computers
 are physically connected to your computer using a limited and tangible piece
 of infrastructure comprised of copper wires that are laid between the
 router/switch that connects to your computer... and the internet service
 provider which directs your traffic. Then it probably goes through some cables
 under the ocean or whatever, and eventually after traversing many
 indeterminate passthrough locations eventually arrives at the computing
 infrastructure that comprises the access point that another person (presumably
 in another country) uses to express their thoughts toward you (the person who
 sent the original message) in the hopes that you might one day correspond.
 
 I mean... That's a lot of points of failure. I sure hope that we can sustain
 such connection, in the face of [redacted, whichever circumstances may come in
 the near future]
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--- #195 fediverse/3155 ---
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 @user-1461 
 
 my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
 will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
 interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
 Beginner programmer.
 
 ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
 with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
 
 I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
 as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
 which would feel... quite defeating
 
 who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
 in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
 that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
 that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
 Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
 structures.
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--- #196 fediverse/1612 ---
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 @user-1040 
 
 also, I miss most of the names and faces in this archive and I think it'd be
 neat to say "oh yeah I remember them because it wasn't so long ago and it's
 weird how they're not around these days but I forgot about them because their
 profile pic changed or maybe they stopped using mastodon or whatever" - idk it
 feels empty sometimes because your follow list is always growing, but the
 number of people who post seems to always go down. Or maybe I just read
 Mastodon at unfortunate times when there's nothing going on. Who can say
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--- #197 fediverse/3251 ---
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 when humanity won the earth, they spent hundred of millions of years
 destroying all the rest of the monsters. Hence, no dinosaur bones, as humans
 searching through ALL OF THE SOIL. AN ENTIRE MILE OF IT. destroyed all trace
 of them. What we have left are the stony remains of fossils too difficult for
 them to harrangue. thus, the era of man, with all of us living on this stupid
 flat rock.
 
 one day, we convinced everyone else to disbelieve. and so we 
 
 -- so --
 
 what if you took in input information as a stream, instead of a single block
 of information? I bet you could analyze keystrokes as they were happening, and
 do some background calculations to process the commands of your host.
 
 -- so --
 
 sooooo I'm sorry for being myself, I'll try to do so in a way that doesn't
 inconvenenice others. "hat-listening-maneuvre" - you can connect yourself to
 whatever throughline you want, if you
 
 -- so --
 
 gravity is an abstraction
an object, relating to another object, in both a 2dimensional "distance" model and a 3dimensional ah that's when I lost ya isn't it  -- so --
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--- #198 notes/words-to-myself ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #199 fediverse/5329 ---
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 trying my best not to think about communism too much right now. Mostly because
 I'm waiting for everyone to catch up... when the day comes when people stop
 saying "based" and leaving it at that, then I'll make more theory. But as a
 consequence of my queer nature I shall deliver such things in the form of an
 insane twitter post on the fetlifeverse.
 
 the world waits with bated breath in the eye of the storm. Nobody knows whats
 coming, and everyone prays that it's nothing [short of revolution]
 
 ... I should probably go back to sleep, I just had to wake up and write about
 linux or whatever...
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--- #200 fediverse/4245 ---
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 │ CW: conspiracies-gestured-at │
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 oh, uh, here's some silliness:
 
 "that feeling when your tinnitus suddenly kicks in and you realize that
 they're using 5g to alter your brain waves by bombarding your skull with just
 the right kind of electro-magnetic waveform that coalesces into a particular
 "thought" (which they definitely know because everyone knows all our brains
 are built the same) which makes you hungry or horny or whatever"
 
 something something source:
 
 https://www.jezzamon.com/fourier/index.html
 
 (this is just fun to play with)
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