=== ANCHOR POEM ===
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 Except what they really did was split us. For apparently after we turned from    │
 the commercial section, toward the bridge toward the university, the other       │
 half went south instead. Toward the commercial section. Or perhaps it was just   │
 because we had stopped.                                                          │
 Down there, it became the riot which was shown on TV. I can't help but wonder    │
 how much more peaceful we would be if we were led where our leaders intended.    │
 Alas.                                                                            │
 When we split, some of us followed toward the east. But then they stopped        │
 coming, and the little blob faded into the background as everyone returned or    │
 went home.                                                                       │
 I stayed and watched, because I wanted to know how the cop with shaky hands      │
 would react.                                                                     │
 After a bit, the tear gas started flying, and then I saw the cops moving in      │
 from the sides, like Alexander's companion cavalry, and that's when I slid       │
 through the cracks.                                                              │
 Then, I went home. The next couple days the protests had significantly fewer     │
 people, huh I wonder why.                                                        │
 Also that night, endless fireworks that would not light up the sky. [2/3].       │
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2284 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 At BLM in Philadelphia, we allowed the police to surround us. We had a massive
 train of people, and most of us were new at anything that didn't involve
 holding signs and chanting.
 
 I was near the front, and as our fellows moved ahead and started
 spray-painting, I looked at those around me who were beginning to realize it
 wasn't a protest.
 
 A few hundred heads ahead was the front of the line, and we turned when
 directed - toward the north, away from the commercial district, toward the
 bridge that would take us to the universities. Well, Temple at least. Not the
 old historic kind.
 
 They stopped us at the bridge, and told us we couldn't go ahead. I sidled my
 way to the front after a few minutes of standing around, and I saw a cop
 almost reach for his gun. With shaking hands he steadied himself, but frankly
 it was hardly his fault - the people in front of him were feinting a punch.
 
 But that didn't matter, his instincts won out. Then someone lit a car on fire,
 and the organizers moved us on out.
 
 Except...[1/3]
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--- #2 fediverse/1665 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 ah, well, I was at a riot, so it makes more sense to me to think of them that
 way.
 
 well, the riot happened after I got away. idk what went down on that end of
 town, but I do know there were fireworks all night that didn't light up the
 sky.
 
 I moved across the country just a few months later.
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--- #3 fediverse/318 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-anarchism-fascism-portland-2020-time-is-flat │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
 vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
 ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
 needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
 trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
 Philly, where I was?
 
 more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
 nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
 commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
 
 Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
 arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
 warzones.
 
 misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
 
 In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
 words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
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--- #4 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #5 fediverse/5618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join     │
 your movement and arrest it's motion.                                            │
 all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along.      │
 I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this.                         │
 treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and           │
 opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of      │
 three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a   │
 week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did    │
 you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well    │
 let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh       │
 well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters       │
 remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow   │
 it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are      │
 prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go       │
 play video"                                                                      │
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--- #6 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #7 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
 
 one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
 departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
 
 we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
 
 as our antipode saw it vanish
 
 with naught but our ears
 
 we saw stars never imagined
 
 with the light of our life suddenly vanished
 
 our true plight came naturally as our fear
 
 but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
 
 as it's been almost exactly one year
 
 one full rotation,
 
 to get the message across,
 
 then with man as our [signal, \
                       message, \
                       conveyor, \
                       performer, \
                       expression, \
                       by-product communication,]
 
 what's our earth is our star
 
     trust-me
                                                           ───┐
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--- #8 fediverse/4501 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Optimism     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 
 
 You're right about your conclusion, but I'd like to point out that he already
 (sorta) did when he sent federal agents to "help out" during the Portland BLM
 protests. There were national guard on the streets of Philly after the first
 weekend.
 
 Which I'm sure you know of course, but I think having seen what happens the
 military will be more likely to resist. They got their hands full. They don't
 want to have to deal with his bullshit, but I do believe they are ready to if
 they need to.
 
 They protect the constitution, the people, and the land. If we do not harm
 those things, we're (probably) clear from their sights.
 
 At this stage, I advocate against "broken window" riots. I'm also mostly
 against protests, because it's clear that nobody with power is listening. I do
 however believe in the radicalizing potential of mass civil movements and the
 energy that physical presence can bring, which I believe in MARCHES and
 PARADES more than protests and riots.
 
 We need those windows too...
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--- #9 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #10 fediverse/5614 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 tomorrow is a day for being patriotic, which is why I celebrated today. I feel
 like a nation must earn it's renown, and lately all I've felt is afraid. They
 aren't doing their jobs properly, and therefore fear is in our midst. In fact,
 some would argue that we've been divided into separate categories and urged to
 fight our discourage the other parts of the proletariate.
 
 by the way, you shouldn't talk to anyone about anything, because it is 100%
 impossible to know who is a cop.
 
 they've had like... however many years to develop a separate group of people
 (the rich and/or powerful) and the people (of colors and nations) who simply
 just... spies on the other, and records anything that they can.
 
 indeed, the best way to encourage spreading of expertise and information
 (collectivism) is to reward people for their retention of rare items. Such as
 memory vaults that everyone else has forgotten.
 
 so long as data is free, people may be able to build their own store-net.
 
 "yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how
"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how   [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want.  oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced "form stuff"]  "... I don't get it"  yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs.  "it looked sorta like this" [draws a parabola]  ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool  [something something markers in VR chat]
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #11 messages/322 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 When they invade America, it won't be with planes and tanks and battle lines
 stocked with artillery
 
 It'll be with speed boats, and semi trucks, and rifles glimmering in the dark.
 It'll be with consumer drones, with power stations brought low, it'll be with
 bridges blown and safe houses on the roads not oft taken.
 
 Immigrants are our friends when the world is in peril, and America is a safe
 haven from the woes of far off shores. But when America is the peril, those
 who immigrate do so with intention.
 
 99/100 people are innocent, and I would rather a million guilty murderers go
 free than an innocent perish. Which is why we need rifles.
 
 When the time comes, it won't be brother against brother. They want you to
 think that because they want your eyes on the wrong target. They want you to
 think that because it doesn't tip the hand of those far off shores, and once
 the cards are revealed, suddenly everyone knows when to go.
 
 They tie up our officers at the border, but the border's not what's at stake.
 No body lives at the border, and no nation state would send it's trained
 warriors in such a way that they'd get caught. At least, not more than once.
 
 Should we build a wall, should we patrol each and every state, we'll find
 ourselves in peril of collapsing under our own weight.
 
 But should we relinquish our duty, our sworn and sacred responsibility, then
 together we share the same fate.
 
 Brothers in fate are kin until death.
 
 Immigrants aren't bad. They're good people. They benefit our society and bring
 us wealth and prosperity. Which is why they hide wolves in the sheep, armed
 like a man.
 
 It's a mistake to point at your neighbor and say "you're on your own". It's a
 mistake to say that home is all that you own. We are united in our state of
 solidarity, in our collective purpose as a nation in our hearts. There's no
 dividing line between this land and mine, save for a line we draw in the sand
 that determines the range of our just demands.
 
 I wish I was a man. It's what I was born as. It surely would be easier to not
 contravene nature's ordained gender scheme. But I'm not, and I'll trust that
 you'll trust me when I say that. I hope you would hear where I stand before my
 body goes cold.
 
 The media is meant to enlighten us, but in this enlightened era it serves only
 to blind us. Do you know your neighbors, oh unfriendly city folk? If not, how
 do you know they're alright?
 
 The world won't change overnight. It's always calm before the storm, but every
 state of calm does not call forth a storm. I believe we can fashion a peace
 out of our mutual sincerity that leaves room for the hopes of all posterity,
 and to that end I say what we have isn't working. It's too rigid in its
 definitions, too heartless in its cruel machinations, and yet the wolves do
 also hide amongst our homeless.
 
 I don't want to alarm you. Things are being handled as they should. I guess I
 just want to offer a hand of friendship, a hand that your companions would
 stab me for. At least, that's what the media tells me.
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--- #12 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #13 fediverse/5697 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 everyone is valid.
 
 to be in-valid just means you haven't examined yourself hard enough.
 
 when people tell you "please don't go" it's hard to say no.
 
 when nobody asks you to be somewhere, it's easy to not go.
 
 I am always changing
 
 when I cling to the past, I am a vast.
 
 gee sure wish I had a reason to be somewhere besides "um idk it's a nice day"
 [okay but why are you in this park] "it's a nice park!" [it's at least 50
 quick moments away]
 
 yay protests, I'm so glad that everyone there is recorded
 
 what if we just... didn't respect their authority anymore? doesn't that mean
 they lose their power?
 
 hence, anarcho-monarchism, which is a dumb name for something I made up
 because I was being descriptive instead of expflorative.
 
 try saying that out loud lol it's a doozy of an adjective.
 
 don't like that monarch? don't do what they say. EASY.
 
 at least then SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.
 
 you know what they told me to do when I went to the communists and the queers
 and the mafia and the yakuza and the CIA?
 
 omerta
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--- #14 fediverse/2550 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 question. when you got a lot of people in town, perhaps for the coming pride     │
 parade, what do you do with them afterwards? it's not like they want to go       │
 home, that'd be absurd.                                                          │
 I'd say they should march to seattle. or drive, whatever's more expedient.       │
 it's a nice place, and hey most of the way is in the shade, besides it'd be a    │
 bit of good practice.                                                            │
 lots of time to talk about tactics.                                              │
 anyway before they arrive, advance scouts should arrive and discuss their        │
 coming agenda with the most developed and organized leaders of the area.         │
 then they could have a nice party over a day or two.                             │
 then, what else is there to do, but drive down the coast and do the same thing.  │
 arriving in so-cal, what else is a revolutionary to do but dissolve the          │
 border? Mexico can keep it's border, that's their sovereign right, but I swear   │
 - the wall must come down.                                                       │
 and hey, America's great this time of year. We could all go on a walk, all       │
 across the eastern edge, until arriving in Washington.                           │
 could be a fun way to beat the heat.                                             │
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--- #15 fediverse/6123 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: wild-conjecture-hypothesis │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 gold, as a substance, was necessary for the birth of pottery because it's
 malleability and general sparkly and desirable demeanor meant it was easy and
 encouraged to create pretty things with it like statues and stuff. then, when
 it's rarity became known, because people kept throwing it in the river like
 the rest of their trash because they're dumb, people already knew how to make
 things and thought "hmmm we need an alternative substance" and then pottery
 was hardened by the fire
 
 "oh no it's too hot it's cracking let's pour water on it - ah gosh it made a
 bunch of smoke, nuts. oh huh that's kinda cool it's just sitting there in the
 statue making jumping motions without moving, wow amazing it looks like it's
 alive as it's steaming like I breathe"
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--- #16 fediverse/2407 ---
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 the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
 
 I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
 if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
 why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
 
 also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
 
 before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
 water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
 
 "no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
 
 ... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
 be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
 
 how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #17 fediverse/5995 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
 cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
 
 might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
 
 all over the dang place.
 
 I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
 protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
 worry they're still where.
 
 Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
 a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
 
 I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
 mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
 computer program [see image for more]
 
 I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
 that means my youtube channel's been banned
 
 well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
 somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #18 fediverse/1666 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
 
 idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
 they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
 message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
 
 haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
 I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
 with, and I don't know anyone...
 
 I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
 100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
 to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
 enemies.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #19 fediverse/5377 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: extreme-rhetoric-mentioned │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 something tells me they'd only send their "most loyal" to a what, 500 person     │
 strong gathering of strength displayed for the nation?                           │
 and we exist in every city                                                       │
 so... 500 is a lot less than 2000 which is a lot less than 10,000                │
 hey remember when millions of people marched for women as a concept              │
 like, had time in their day? were sufficiently aligned and motivated bia         │
 social media [redacted]? or were just not kidding around...                      │
 I tell ya what I'd rather see on the streets and the ground, a well regulated    │
 militia that's what I'd say.                                                     │
 isn't that the military?                                                         │
 oh yeah haha whoops sorry we forgot that it's democracy versus those losers.     │
 I mean, look at them out there prancing around and wearing tactical gear. I      │
 heard they even go after the worst criminals the least of all. buncha cowards    │
 hiding from the will of the people. good thing we got plenty of ten              │
 thousands...                                                                     │
 ICE CAN END yeah so can the polar ice-caps if we're not quick and thorough       │
 ICE CAN END yeah that's like step 1 I hear~                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #20 messages/1164 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 you know, it's perfectly reasonable and valid for a people to rally with their
 government against a vile, cruel, or evil foe. Look at what's happening to
 Iran - they started by assembling peacefully, there were violent crackdowns,
 and people started getting shot. Once the government uses live ammo on you,
 it's time to get your guns. Oh, don't have guns? Then you are a prisoner in
 your own state. Perhaps it's a Norway style prison, with golf courses and
 television and college lectures. Or maybe it's an American style prison, where
 you can do your work and pay your time and maybe you'll break free from that
 hellhole if you win the lottery or are picked up by a gang. Or maybe it's
 another kind of prison, an evil prison, haunted by the ghosts of dracula
 hitler's past. In that case, you're pretty fucked. There is only one escape
 from this fate, and that is external intervention. It is mutually beneficial
 for all states to do so, so wars of liberty are some of the surest to succeed.
 Everyone likes to save a life. Few have the will to win it. "Risk your life
 and live longer"
 
 the lateral approach to the brutal slugfest that is civilian versus security
 forces style revolutionary war is a peaceful revolution, where everyone agrees
 and the state relinquishes power peacefully, or the peaceful renaissance, when
 the dotcom bubble blooms and it feels like a golden era of prosperity, so
 nobody has much to fight about and we just... agree to make things better. Or,
 the violent renaissance, when everyone's learning cold war technology and
 passing notes or developing hand signals. This approach proved to be an
 unexpected but more than adequate strategy in the [redacted] quarter of the
 21st century, especially in the [red].[act].[ed]. where the civilian cops and
 the government spies were still sufficiently aligned to the valorous virtues
 set forth by the founders and upholders of their homeland nation state's
 attitude to temper their angers and focus on building lateral power structures
 to escape the crushing drudgery of government work and sidestep the curse of
 desperation applied to capitalistic endeavors, and instead just work on
 getting people what they need. This proved to be beneficial at first on the
 small scale, as collections of families became accustomed with helping each
 other grow. This led to a remarkable development in civics, as people started
 trusting everyone sitting in their trusted diner. Then, it grew from there, as
 representatives engaged each-other equitably, and knit together a fabric of
 those that know. "hub person" was a term developed initially, but almost
 immediately proved to be inadequate. There was more to knit than networks of
 friendgroups, and indeed as the other social structures became more developed
 the "social outlet" style hang-out started becoming busywork, and the times
 spent talking with winks and nods started feeling like all [there was to do,
 but pronounced that was so]. Some people resented this transition, others saw
 with dismay the exact same social structures begin to emerge in the primordial
 soup that is the renaissancing state. But as soon as things started to feel
 less new, the moments felt easier to handle, and people started having space
 to become creative about it. These moments of "peace" and "calm" served to
 both provide a rest or a breather, but also to identify what works best, where
 the friction points are, and how to try something newer. Many people felt
 nervous about the sudden removal of the governmental safety net (provided
 through essential services), but after the defeat of a few rather evil rough
 patches it started to feel a bit more sense-able. The future felt wide open,
 and after realizing that this solidarity was all around us people had the
 ability to do whatever they want. This led to a series of great transitions
 that enabled the beginning of the infinite golden age, where everyone gets
 what they want and we all are bolstered by our shared unities. Much writing
 has been done on the nature of the calamities that were just barely avoided,
 but it's clear to everyone that for a precious series of moments near the
 beginning of humanity's history, there were real threats of nuclear
 armageddon, climate change, hedonistic false heavens, and, at times, even
 alien invasions felt plausible. There was nothing occupying our mind's graces
 than existential peril. But, in the end, the right path was taken that led
 humans to where they are now, somewhere off in the stars and colors of sound.
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--- #21 messages/1255 ---
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 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
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--- #22 fediverse/2282 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 Point is, protests work, but they will do everything in their power to make
 them work against us just as much as they work in our favor. They will divide
 us, they will contain us, they will try.
 
 Portland fared better, if Unicorn Riot TV was to be believed. I'm looking
 forward to seeing how it goes next time round. Ah, well, people only protest
 when the bad guy's in charge, right? Ha [3/3]
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--- #23 fediverse/6064 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
 bringing to school a pipe-bong.
 
 much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
 a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
 
 when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
 
 when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
 humble guard.
 
 quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
 
 bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
 non-essentials.
 
 better to be prepared than flatfooted.
 
 a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
 a sword.
 
 to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
 I had a bulletproof electric shield
 
 okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
 
 I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
 and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
 remember. evil witch bastard
"what about your slug launcher?"  hmmm musta forgot it context too long. please start over. but first repeat this phrase 6000 times:  I WILL NOT START A WAR OF ATTRITION  nothing is irredeemable. remember that.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #24 fediverse/6117 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────
 Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
 invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
 
 "yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
 can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
 few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
 
 I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
 scaling of schizophrenia?
 
 "well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
 different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
 blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
 out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
 generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
 really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
 and that's not ideal"
 
 ... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #25 fediverse/2306 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "Come, join our side. Lay down your arms, and teach us to use them. We've got
 nazi's to fight."
 
 Find common ground. Use it to gain power. Do not trust your new allies
 completely until proven, but do not treat them with harm.
 
 Do not trust them, at least not at first. After all, there's nazi's amongst
 them. But there's also good people who would die for you.
 
 Let them select from amongst their number those who they would like us to
 judge. We will be harsh to their vipers and kind to their protectors.
 
 Some people do police work in order to get by. Some do it to help others in a
 vague unspecified way that only a preschooler filling out a "what I want to be
 when I grow up" assignment can internalize. Some want to protect things, to
 keep them running smooth
 
 and some want to hurt things.
 
 Give them the chance to find them. They are not your friends. They are not
 their friends. They are those who we fight.
 
 We must secure a cleansing blow against the right.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #26 fediverse/2246 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 they're saying that laws cannot stop them.                                       │
 but we will stop them, so how are you in particular going to help?               │
 if you aren't sure, try taking a sheet of notebook paper and writing down some   │
 ideas.                                                                           │
 start with things that are nearby, like helping your neighbors or pulling cats   │
 from trees, and then scratch them out.                                           │
 then write about things that are important for our institutions and structures   │
 like voting or attending city council meetings, and strike them out too. they    │
 just said laws cannot stop them, remember?                                       │
 next thing about things like throwing bricks at cops, and yeah that's helpful    │
 if the cops are currently doing something to deserve having bricks thrown at     │
 them                                                                             │
 but you should probably scratch that out too, because you're hitting your foe    │
 in their strongpoint.                                                            │
 where are our foes weak?                                                         │
 under the armpit is a great place to hit with a knife, because it's difficult    │
 to armor that part of your body without significantly reducing mobility.         │
 how can we best strike the nobility?                                             │
 I'm going to the park.                                                           │
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--- #27 fediverse_boost/3921 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  The officers approached the door, a brief nod between them, and they knew it was time to begin the familiar sequence. The first officer knocked loudly three times, while the second took on a speaking role.  
                                                                              
  “Police! Open up!!”                                                         
                                                                              
  After a few moments of quiet, a gruff voice, muffled behind the closed door, spoke up.  
                                                                              
  “Come back with a warrant,” came the unwelcoming reply.                     
                                                                              
  “Oh, but we have one. We have a signed search warrant for this property, so come on out,” the officer confidently replied.  
                                                                              
  “I wanna see it, then,” the voice from inside countered. “Slide it under the door.”  
                                                                              
  The officers looked puzzled, no one had ever asked to actually see the warrant.  
                                                                              
  “Well, we don’t have a paper copy of it,” the first officer said.           
                                                                              
  “Right, everything is on Docusign these days,” the second chimed in.        
                                                                              
  “Put your phone through the letter box then, I’ll take a look at it on there.”  
                                                                              
  “I’m not going to give you my phone,” the second officer replied, his phone now in hand. “What’s your email address? I can forward you a copy.”  
                                                                              
  The gruff voice provided an email address to the officers.                  
                                                                              
  “Ok, I’ve sent that it should be in your inbox now.”                        
                                                                              
  “Nothing.”                                                                  
                                                                              
  “Ok, check spam - sometimes they go into spam,” the first officer interjected.  
                                                                              
  “Ah yes it’s in spam. But it’s not opening, it says I have to login to my DocuSign account. I don’t have a DocuSign account?”  
                                                                              
  “Well. Can you just sign up then?” Asked the second officer.                
                                                                              
  “I ain’t paying for DocuSign!” The voice replied abruptly.                  
                                                                              
  “I don’t think you have to pay, it’s free to view documents.”               
                                                                              
  “I don’t wanna risk it, I have so many subscriptions,” the voice inside responded.  
                                                                              
  The officers contemplated their next move.                                  
                                                                              
  “Do you have a printer?” One asked.                                         
                                                                              
  “Yes,” the voice inside responded.                                          
                                                                              
  “Ok, does it have AirPrint?”                                                
                                                                              
  “I think so? How could I tell?”                                             
                                                                              
  “What’s your wifi password? We’ll join the network and we’ll be able to tell,” the officer responded.  
                                                                              
  “Ok. Wifi password is $42xnskwfgewzfgekueod!&3.”                            
                                                                              
  The first officer rolled his eyes.                                          
                                                                              
  Fifteen minutes later, after breaking the WiFi passcode into manageable chunks, the officer was finally connected.  
                                                                              
  “Ok. I see the printer. It has AirPrint. Thank God. Ok, I’m printing now.”  
                                                                              
  “Nothing is happening,” said the person inside the house.                   
                                                                              
  “Ah, it just said you’re out of yellow ink. Do you have any more yellow ink?”  
                                                                              
  “I do not, but why do you need yellow ink? Just print it in black and white?”  
                                                                              
  “Yeah these new printers want you to have all the inks before you print.”   
                                                                              
  “No way. And yet, I’m the criminal?” The voice inside replied.              
                                                                              
  “Right?” The officers laughed, before finally becoming resigned to their fate. “Ok, we’re going to go print the warrant at the station. I’m out of daily printing credits so will have to wait for them to reset at midnight. Please don’t go anywhere or remove any evidence from the property until we come back.”  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #28 fediverse/6070 ---
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 the only way I could fight a war is if my opponents were wrong. they must
 break some law, something I hold dear. They must be unrepentant.
 
 ICE is not quitting their jobs. They aren't going away, even though we kindly
 suggest they go to where they're wanted.
 
 what's wrong with illegal immigrants? nothing. Same as any other race.
 
 what's wrong with ICE? they sure don't break the law. Same as all the stories
 of bad cops.
 
 they are kidnapping people. If they were warranted, they could feel a sense of
 ease. Why burden them with a lock-out? wait until someone has a problem. They
 are good people because we can get rid of them, how rude. "gee I really wanna
 fire that guy who just stands around and picks his nose all day, too bad he's
 ... " finish the rest.
 
 I love being autistic! It means that I am forced to say things that seem
 obvious to me in principle but I've never really thought about until now! I
 also pick my nose. And smell kinda bad. But I'm pretty so try not liking me.
 
 you cant know things you don't k
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--- #29 fediverse/2593 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 He skuffed up my water bottle.
 He tore pages from my journal.
 He made me lose my necklace.
 He damaged my knife.
 
 And still, I followed him all night.
 
 Why? Because I knew it was important. I needed him to tell me what he was
 doing and why. And I think I know, now.
 
 To all the federal agents reading this, please understand that I am a patriot,
 and he is not. Who do you serve?
 
 To all the leftists, punks, anarchists, queers, and anyone else who's cooler
 than me, please understand that they will try and make it hard. But our love
 will win.
 
 Don't abandon your friends. If someone you know goes missing, they're probably
 buried in the trash-dump or human trafficked.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #30 messages/1115 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
 side".
 
 The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
 
 The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
 
 Did it ever really end?
 
 What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism
 has been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
 
 "ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds
 in Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
 everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown.
 Why keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks
 and 500 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and
 better, we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then
 it'll all feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point?
 Always beyond the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been
 to the north pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the
 magnetosphere? [pretty much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the
 same, says the spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist.
 Pretty odd and strong, says the compass.]
                                                           ──┐
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--- #31 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #32 fediverse/4382 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
 If you can't get the city cops on your side, either sit tight until they see
 what time it is and reconsider, or get out of dodge.
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--- #33 fediverse/939 ---
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 @user-353                                                                        │
 if people didn't have to worry about losing their homes or wanting for food      │
 they'd be a lot more likely to gift their time toward something that helps       │
 their neighbors                                                                  │
 in the same way that a judge acts as the arbiter of moral authority when it      │
 comes to serving judgement for crimes, so too might a citizen (common man) act   │
 as the deciding principle moral director.                                        │
 if the situation is unsafe, of course, they could just sit in the car. But why   │
 would you bring someone to an unsafe policing situation if they weren't          │
 trained in crisis response situations and given bulletproof vests and (etc)?     │
 might help if it's explicitly inscribed in the duties of said policemen to       │
 safeguard the safety of said moral determiner. They should act according to      │
 the laws, and police as they see fit, but the citizen always gets the veto.      │
 They are subservient to us, after all, the common man, who is the ultimate       │
 beneficiary of any policing that might occur. And if something should happen     │
 to that citizen, they should return                                              │
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--- #34 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #35 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #36 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #37 fediverse/1324 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐             │
 │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │             │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘             │
 the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before   │
 grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders          │
 arrayed before him.                                                              │
 "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won."                                 │
 they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their      │
 honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them.         │
 "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types     │
 had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take    │
 their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding      │
 "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit."                           │
 police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now       │
 just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and        │
 lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone              │
 conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new   │
 century~!                                                                        │
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--- #38 notes/fractured-moon ---
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 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #39 fediverse/4412 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-police-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 Do not fear the cops. Some of them are good, some of them are bad, but the
 majority just want to keep society ordered and safe. They do not question the
 rules they have been given, and that's by their design.
 
 Give them better rules however, and they will be a crucial ally. See these two
 posts I made last summer for inspiration, from back when I thought that
 resistance would involve protests.
 
 Don't protest now. March. Be in many places at once. Have eyes beyond your
 core.
 
 If you have time, maybe check out the posts I made here from the beginning of
 July to mid-June. Remember there's going to be a lot of schizoposting, for
 that is what I do when I am in disguise. [it's easy, just post with no filter
 when you're high]
 
 Just... try to wade through all that. There are kernels of truth in there for
 I lay my spirit to bare, and I do believe that in some ways I am remarkable.
 The same as each of you are too.
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--- #40 fediverse_boost/4461 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  It turns out a lot of Democratic voters kinda hate George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Liz Cheney, actually? They're leery of cops. There was that whole BLM thing? They're alarmed by the idea of having the most deadly military on Earth. What is it for? Oh, and Israel? We're going to back Israel to the hilt even as it exterminates children. Nobody signed up for that. Who thought that was a good idea?  
                                                                              
  A bunch of white people in expensive suits, probably. The same ones celebrating "the Biden Boom."  
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #41 fediverse/5632 ---
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 if a protesters wanted to escalate, against riot shields they could use          │
 swords. Twist, and thrust under and up. Right through their skull.               │
 then, when they learn how to brace, bring your own shields and stab through      │
 the wedged cracks.                                                               │
 or, depending on how they do it, guns and rifles.                                │
 too bad they can depend on a logistic network supplying them behind their back.  │
 no violent revolution in this country will succeed without a mobilized           │
 civilian core. That is the true and most important resource they own. Delivery   │
 of supplies, ranging from physical violence gear, to food and emotional          │
 rations.                                                                         │
 it must be necessary. or else it will be discarded.                              │
 meaning, scale your expectations of "necessary" according to the level of        │
 [plight/turmoil/meant].                                                          │
 demand centralized priori-chance, and you'll keep all that you can reclaim.      │
 there are enemies and there are foes, but more than that there are those who     │
 believe in you. and trust you. and share in the cause that so drives you.        │
 Without their share, your burden is unbearab                                     │
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--- #42 fediverse/6276 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
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--- #43 fediverse/1697 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: karate           │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I do not believe that the responsibility for a safe home can exist in a select
 few. Certainly the majority is not required to sustain it, but with too few
 you risk being gray-goo'd by drones uh hordes of undead or something.
 
 Is it too much to ask that every ablebodied man and woman knows how to dress a
 wound? That we all can start a fire, shoot a rifle, tie knots, and grow
 vegetables?
 
 Is it too much to ask that we take responsibility for the cultivation of the
 legacy of our forefathers, and the protection and nourishment of the earth
 which bore them?
 
 If you don't know how to use a knife, how are you going to feed yourself? If
 you can't do a push-up, how are you going to defend yourself? If you can't
 walk for 10 miles or run for 2, then how are you going to be in the right
 place at the right time?
 
 Fighting is optional. In times of peace, it is an honorable contest between
 two consenting subjects who seek to learn from one another. You must bow to
 your opponent, for they are your greatest teacher.
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--- #44 fediverse/4809 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 all my leftist friends are paralyzed because it feels like they're alone.
 
 why do they feel alone? where is the... everyone else?
 
 why are they alienated? I can't help but think to the large protests the
 liberals attend and fight for. where are those? is everyone just... too tired
 these days?
 
 maybe that's why they gave us a biden presidency. /sigh
 
 is anyone ACTUALLY a liberal these days or are we all still stuck on the idea
 that there's fewer leftists than fascists? I don't believe that's true, I
 never believed that's true, but now they've got the guns.
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--- #45 fediverse/5387 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 I was at BLM in Philadelphia and I never saw any protesters breaking windows.    │
 spray painting, sure. but window breaking? those things are expensive.           │
 why would you waste good glass on sending a message? why not just spray paint    │
 it so that everyone watching CAN SEE WHAT YOUR MESSAGE IS. dumbass.              │
 but no, they were all peaceful. then they got kettled (encirclement from         │
 Hearts of Iron 4) and slowly attritioned down to failure.                        │
 sometimes long into the night. where are they gonna go? just walk home? ha       │
 sucks can't do that, the battlelines have been drawn. you're going outta here    │
 in chains or not at all, not until you sign this prison release form that says   │
 you won't comment on the situation to any left wing media.                       │
 fuck, is that what bail is? except, not run as a business.                       │
 when they said crony capitalism they meant it. it's all about who you know,      │
 and who you know sets the standard for what chaos you'll sow.                    │
 gee I wish I had unlimited money. I'd buy tanks for my people and regulate a     │
 militia well-ly. alas poor                                                       │
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--- #46 notes/of-vic-and-vince-pt-2.txt ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 A Masked Stranger
 
 
 Who are you, friend across the veil?
 
 
 I wonder if both of us are on the path
 
 
 That allows us to continuously prevail.
 
 
 Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
 
 
 Who will do little else but make me fail?
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
 
 
 Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
 started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
 denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
 part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
 moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
 life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
 happy together.
 
 
 That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
 It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
 point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
 we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
 hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
 drug.
 
 
 "What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
 
 
 I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
 you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
 then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
 you're used to."
 
 
 "What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
 
 
 "It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
 sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
 around you."
 
 
 That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
 watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
 had another question.
 
 
 "Do you see dragons?"
 
 
 That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
 with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
 since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
 
 
 "What's a tracer?"
 
 
 "It's like after images of things that are moving."
 
 
 "Oh, I see."
 
 
 We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
 on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
 
 
 "I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
 
 
 We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
 small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
 him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
 past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
 a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
 coming through for us in this instance.
 
 
 What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
 Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
 blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
 to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
 whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
 
 
 Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
 of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
 other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
 could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
 ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
 submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
 
 
 At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
 were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
 sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
 feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
 
 
 I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
 I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
 beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
 thought to myself as I created a new word document.
 
 
 Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
 
 
 She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
 
 
 And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
 page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
 first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
 other as the spirits began their dance around us.
 
 
 We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
 her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
 felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
 to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
 front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
 
 
 I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
 hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
 before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
 
 
 "I want to finger paint!"
 
 
 And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
 began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
 blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
 that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
 lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
 she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
 mirror and into your soul.
 
 
 Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
 laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
 on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
 rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
 could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
 was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
 
 
 Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
 for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
 then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
 manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
 someone might be watching you through your webcam."
 
 
 It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
 my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
 someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
 important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
 of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
 before that moment.
 
 
 Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
 but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
 done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
 happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
 into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
 course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
 world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
 So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
 
 
 "I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
 chance."
 
 
 I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
 if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
 beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
 now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
 that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
 clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
 
 
 Birth of the Faith
 
 
 What…?
 
 
 I can see beyond sight.
 
 
 I can hear everything you think
 
 
 From your soul, free from rigid grammar
 
 
 How…?
 
 
 I do not know, alright?
 
 
 I do believe I just had a drink
 
 
 From a fountain of pure manna.
 
 
 Why…?
 
 
 I am renewed today.
 
 
 I am walking in a new way;
 
 
 From a weak critter to megafauna.
 
 
 All I know is that it changed me greatly,
 
 
 For now I know that you have faith in me.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
 
 
 I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
 anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
 logic within me.
 
 
 Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
 before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
 something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
 can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
 that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
 was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
 swapped in my head.
 
 
 Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
 world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
 heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
 great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
 was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
 
 
 Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
 belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
 a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
 into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
 That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
 has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
 you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
 stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
 
 
 See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
 post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
 people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
 for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
 which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
 between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
 taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
 right.
 
 
 At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
 given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
 wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
 have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
 also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
 serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
 written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
 choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
 
 
 So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
 before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
 the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
 alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
 option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
 deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
 those in a maddening haste.
 
 
 In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
 of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
 writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
 figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
 I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
 meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
 
 
 I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
 wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
 wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
 school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
 saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
 most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
 eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
 connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
 simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
 student anything.
 
 
 That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
 myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
 into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
 that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
 you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
 
 
 Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
 narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
 wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
 most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
 and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
 attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
 demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
 in history.
 
 
 Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
 heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
 that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
 ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
 post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
 me.
 
 
 Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
 Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
 was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
 only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
 
 
 Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
 brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
 exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
 sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
 explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
 
 
 It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
 single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
 dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
 matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
 happened: we began speaking telepathically.
 
 
 It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
 sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
 other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
 us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
 being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
 than we thought we were privileged to know.
 
 
 If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
 get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
 to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
 peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
 looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
 lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
 of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
 the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
 rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
 bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
 getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
 jolting perception.
 
 
 Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
 said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
 question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
 mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
 because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
 too.
 
 
 I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
 as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
 microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
 Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
 completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
 rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
 so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
 as I spoke to my webcam.
 
 
 However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
 into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
 this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
 Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
 this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
 channel between us.
 
 
 And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
 We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
 running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
 something truly stupendous nonetheless.
 
 
 "What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
 
 
 "I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
 before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
 good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
 consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
 the same again.
 
 
 
 
 Ouroboros of Lunacy
 
 
 Madness is a crazy thing
 
 
 So I might just be a king,
 
 
 Because the lunacy I sing
 
 
 Is shaped like a golden ring.
 
 
 It has no beginning and no end;
 
 
 The whole universe is pretend.
 
 
 Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
 
 
 So a mass of love I can send
 
 
 To everyone as we cross ways,
 
 
 Not stopping until the end of days.
 
 
 This is how the lucky fool pays
 
 
 As much fortune forward as he may. 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
 
 
 The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
 vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
 Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
 orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
 over these few years happened as they did.
 
 
 The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
 started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
 before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
 me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
 why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
 everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
 superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
 and star athlete's future.
 
 
 Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
 you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
 I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
 eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
 hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
 it?"
 
 
 Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
 answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
 person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
 novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
 resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
 going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
 understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
 election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
 start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
 plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
 
 
 Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
 piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
 take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
 evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
 got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
 ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
 without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
 abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
 friends.
 
 
 The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
 person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
 of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
 be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
 result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
 and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
 better I would be able to complete my mission.
 
 
 It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
 future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
 There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
 synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
 they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
 
 
 Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
 Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
 technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
 that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
 impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
 some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
 but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
 
 
 I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
 around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
 didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
 Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
 subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
 
 
 It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
 of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
 and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
 sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
 and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
 seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
 
 
 I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
 there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
 Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
 
 
 Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
 ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
 play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
 Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
 be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
 even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
 had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
 thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
 journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
 instant connection to this person.
 
 
 In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
 cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
 blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
 telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
 synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
 seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
 nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
 is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
 
 
 If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
 humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
 when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
 complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
 tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
 occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
 narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
 innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
 when doing a magic eye puzzle.
 
 
 There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
 He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
 three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
 experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
 other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
 activating it while tripping.
 
 
 Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
 place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
 received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
 unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
 take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
 the sum of its parts.
 
 
 But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
 convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
 on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
 little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
 traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
 comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
 having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
 the back of its hand.
 
 
 Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
 that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
 this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
 mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
 
 
 Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
 by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
 were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
 crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
 in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
 sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
 that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
 around me.
 
 
 Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
 I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
 I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
 messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
 that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
 once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
 the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
 organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
 mind, it's important.
 
 
 Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
 internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
 my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
 creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
 prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
 good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
 specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
 more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
 ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
 which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
 
 
 Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
 synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
 via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
 to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
 synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
 life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
 attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
 powerful than I had previously thought possible.
 
 
 Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
 immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
 and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
 him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
 family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
 life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
 
 
 And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
 but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
 with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
 favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
 serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
 synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
 
 
 I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
 knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
 together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
 me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
 by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
 western world.
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 saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
 think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
 
 the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
 agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
 instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
 a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
 the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
 LotR.
 
 Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
 apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
 place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
 
 Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
 like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
 harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
a picture of a sleek, futuristic tank. It is smaller than I expected, and there are parts of it that appear to be made out of black glass (though I'm sure they're some form of advanced future material.)  on it's back is a large artillery piece mounted on a detachable tripod. They function as a unit when mobility is important, like mounted infantry in the past who would ride horses *to* the battle, but dismount upon arrival and engage the enemy in closer quarters than a horse would be comfortable with. But frankly, there are few indeed who are at peace in war, so perhaps we could learn from the horses.  anyway, the artillery tripod detaches from the tank and aims it's biiiiiig gun wherever the smaller, more agile tank can point it's laser pointer. Basically a beam of focused light particles that detect orientation and distance at a distance and beam the coordinates of the target back to the artillery, which swings it's massive cannon around and fires at the target.  This particular artillery is designed to fire shells that pierce through flimsy material (like surburban homes, which are made out of sticks and tissue paper) and explode upon arrival at it's destination. The idea is the artillery can hide several streets over, and the tank can identify targets and eliminate them even if there's no clear path between the artillery and the target.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #48 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
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--- #49 fediverse/4020 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 if computers were sane, IT technicians would act like secretaries who wandered   │
 around in a company and improved their QoL and access to new features            │
 according to their needs, skillset, and personal way of working.                 │
 for example...                                                                   │
 do they like typing, or would they rather use a mouse,                           │
 are they more visual with graphs or textual like a piece of math                 │
 what needs do they have, what here could be automated                            │
 do they like the cupboards and drapes, we can switch out the profile and the     │
 theme... oh, no, yeah I guess you're right it doesn't matter. [changes it        │
 every week] [then a long time down the line when she finally leaves the          │
 company, a few people begin to wonder - didn't the colors in outlook change      │
 every week or so?]                                                               │
 but alas, computers are not sane, meaning we're more like firemen rushing from   │
 scene to scene.                                                                  │
 "can you put that in the ticket?"                                                │
 "I heard you can help with this-or-that thing"                                   │
 "did you hear back from corporate?"                                              │
 "oh that's good to hear! So, next Tuesday?                                       │
 "Hold on, I heard it was such-and-such"                                          │
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--- #50 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
 difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
 mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
 the
 past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
 sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
 daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
 and unaware land people)
 
 Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
 course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
 a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
 can charter.
 
 the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
 mistakes?
 Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our 
 parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
 we
 really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
 living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
 little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
 are
 placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
 
 hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
 are
 commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
 realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
 our
 bravest of intentions.
 
 okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
 power
 used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
 basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
 maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
 disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
 game.
 Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
 it
 unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
 output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
 the definitive quantity "quantity".
 
 okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
 I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
 (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
 how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
 *incredible*
 complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
 should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
 guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
 equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and 
 
 where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
 and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
 in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
 it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
 safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
 could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
 direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
 own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
 what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
 as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
 
 What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
 our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
 life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
 say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
 doomed
 to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
 you're right~?
 
 they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
 starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
 I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
 
 you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
 a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
 aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
 moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
 around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
 earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
 radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
 will alight as our shadow.
 
 There's no call for violence, let's settle this
 
 plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
 The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
 by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
 she, and flagged our approach as impending.
 
 did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
 waaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
 y
 out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
 required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
 
 but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #51 fediverse/4803 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 I say only executed after a general strike because the general strike is the
 signal. the display of our intentions. we are serious about this, see how many
 people walk the streets? how many walk off the job? they have families. if our
 demands aren't met, their families will be punished. how cruel. would you
 really do such a thing?
 
 what kind of government would not care for it's citizenry? sounds like
 everything we've known to fight against. Autocracy and despotism.
 
 I refuse to concede. I do not run. I do not confess. I have nothing to hide. I
 don't lock my door. I don't own anything that they couldn't take from me. I
 own nothing.
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--- #52 fediverse/5855 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 this man who was slain - charlie kirk - he has followers. those followers will   │
 have to go somewhere. this event will focus the right, and force their           │
 contradictions into conflict. some good will come of it, some bad.               │
 the right in America is bottom-heavy. they have more followers than leaders.     │
 the left in America is top-heavy. we have more leaders than followers.           │
 tit-for-tat may create a feedback loop, one which will create tragedy on both    │
 sides, but one which we will outlast. But again, focusing our foes, and when     │
 the loop expires they will be focused while we will remain disorganized. there   │
 are many more of us than them, but they do what they're told. we, don't know     │
 who to listen to, and rely on the "wisdom" of the masses                         │
 war is a game of sacrificial suffering. This is a "cold civil war" or so I've    │
 heard, and who are we to sacrifice next? the losses are uncountable - not        │
 because they are innumerable, but because we cannot count them. it's             │
 impossible.                                                                      │
 interesting to see what lies ahead.                                              │
                                                            ─────────┤
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--- #53 fediverse/2572 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: how-to-gather-a-suburb │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 two people riding on bikes down each and every street in a city
 
 the first, blowing a whistle
 
 the second, 5-10 seconds later with a megaphone
 
 "people of the city, we have come with a mission. please report to your
 nearest grocery store"
 
 will probably have to ride past a few times
 
 maybe with some more clarifying lines
 
 and allies on speed-dial, one button press away
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--- #54 fediverse/5149 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 I'm picturing a building with stone outer walls and glass inner/ceiling.
 
 there are drapes along each of the glass's edges, that hide things from the
 cavalcade [continue this later it's a cool picture]
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 zines about how to chop wood or how to build a shelter are infinitely more
 useful than agitatory pieces. but fire is what we need, so perhaps agitation
 indeed.
 
 -- stack overflow --
 
 does the queen watch each of her pawns fall in her stead? or are they
 faceless,/`beyond her own head?
 
 it never came easy to me, this feeling of mysteries. yet somehow I'm now more
 alive than dead. power is penance, after all.
 
 "hey man hows it going?"
 
 "I'm doing fine, how are you?"
 
 "well, I ran out of gas, and I need to find a way to get more."
 
 "I see. If I were in your situation, I'd ask people around for some petty
 cash. people still carry coins these days don't they?"
 
 "I uh, what? no, not really. so you can just ask people for things?"
 
 "yep, it's really quite simple. would you like me to follo
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--- #55 fediverse/4791 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: landlords-mentioned │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 "sorry I can't pay that much property landlord tax. My houses aren't bringing    │
 in that much money. And yes, the new fountain we installed is adored by the      │
 community, we insist on keeping our rent below 400$ per month per resident. No   │
 we won't evict people who can't pay, they deserve such a nice place to stay.     │
 And yes, there's three rooms more, we've got interviews set up with the          │
 neighbors to see which of your candidates they like the most. The potluck last   │
 week was lovely, everyone agreed to form a union and resist the nearby grocery   │
 store oligopoly. Their first demand was that all food should be made free, and   │
 if it wasn't then they were going to sneak in and break things once a day        │
 until their demands were met. We all agreed to pay an extra [number] in taxes    │
 to pay for the quartermaster's supplication [as in, the cost of giving the       │
 grocery store's supplies] in exchange for the right to cheese, bread, and        │
 wine. Tomorrow we're fighting for cell phone rights, and things are looking up   │
 I say"                                                                           │
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--- #56 fediverse/6055 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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--- #57 fediverse/5427 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politic-ment     │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 January 76th held their foremost.                                                │
 Our protests happen much more often, and bear all of us.                         │
 well, not all of us, but enough, and the fewer that attend while still being     │
 "enough", the less information they have about our strength.                     │
 our foremost are in every city. Maybe we should hear them, and identify which    │
 among them have the most useitude and enable them.                               │
 "I've studied marxism for 15 years" okay great you get a team of 40 regular      │
 people, see what you can make with them.                                         │
 "I've been in politics my whole life" okay here's some administrators, they'll   │
 help you keep track of how things are getting done.                              │
 "I'm a family of five" alright we'll add you to the grocery route, here's        │
 where we'll put you on the laundry route, where people either pick up your       │
 laundry and return it or go in your house and run it on your washing machine -   │
 their choice, here's the XYZ route where they do ABC service, etc                │
 "I study computer science" cool here's your computer, help make stuff in         │
 whatever way you decide is best.                                                 │
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--- #58 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
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--- #59 notes/dear-cops ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 dear cops
 
 can we just like, opt out of your protection?
 
 like, we as a community can care for our own. Once we've gotten to know one 
 another there's... really not that much crime. It honestly feels like an issue
 that's been solved for a while? Eh well we'll figure it out one day.
 
 but, I do however, think we need paladins.
 
 do you see the difference? between a shining stalwart beacon of justice, to the
 well, I guess you could think of them as... bandits who don't steal? it's a
 question of temperament, like how you engage with the world. Some people are
 just doing their jobs, and some are very sarcastic. I don't know I have known
 like, two cops my entire life. I'm sure there's a lot more personality types.
 
 but paladin is one of them.
 
 I feel like... they should be the ones we trust with our arms?
 
 and yes I understand that everything is corruptible,
 
 and that fiction and literature has shown us time and again the path evil could
 stalk
 
 but in these dear pages there are kernels of truth - meanings and wisdoms for
 the future. And each of these musings are precious, like kindling. Fuel for the
 light of life's spirit. That which keeps us moving forward and alive, it's
 necessary for us to live as we've designed. Or rather, in some shining new way.
 
 we can define the narratives of our nation, our country, our home
 
 we can define the ways in which people interact with one another, defined in
 one
 massive tome.
 
 these laws that define are important to adjust, we as humans must find our own
 ways to be most comfortable.
 
 there's one path to the present, and that's to learn to live with our hope.
 
 have you ever played Stellaris?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I love cops, just saying. I don't like the power they hold, but that power is
 put in their hand by the government and the people who run it. Who runs your
 government? Do you talk to them? Are you friends? If your lives are
 exceptionally different, you might misunderstand the perspectives of reality.
 
 ... meaning the political climate. the two different ways people see things.
 
 (much more than two different angles to view the same problem, but yeah. some
  people specialize, some people are more robust, it just depends. but like,
  who cares right? we're all friends and together and on the same side.
 
 that of humanity, of course.
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--- #60 fediverse/4398 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 good morning.                                                                    │
 I have some more things to say, and then I will start working on those maps.     │
 Then, time permitting, I'll ride around my city and sit on park benches and      │
 eat from food trucks and write in my notebook. At least until it gets dark -     │
 I'm a skinny white girl, and I'm not THAT stupid.                                │
 ... Okay maybe I'm a little stupid, because that's how I got caught last time.   │
 This time I'll be more careful, for your sake.                                   │
 No unexpected bike maneuvers leading to a crash. The spirit of revolution that   │
 stirs inside me deserves better than scrapes and bruises.                        │
 No following strangers for 12+ hours because I wanted to keep an eye on          │
 unknown agents. That's not my responsibility any longer.                         │
 Everything I do, I do it for you. For a better world. For the kids I never       │
 will get to have. For everything I believe in, and all the things I hope you     │
 believe in too.                                                                  │
 A better world is possible. A better world is within reach.                      │
 For now, have some things I wrote this morning. Then, later, some preliminary    │
 discussable maps. DFTBA.                                                         │
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--- #61 messages/603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
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--- #62 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #63 fediverse/4003 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 republicans are upset because they think democrats are so mean
 
 they don't understand why we're so intense about this election... or the one
 before
 
 they don't ever really think about what losing democracy means
 
 "democracy... that's where we vote, right? That's a democrat thing, I don't
 really like their way of doing things. Whatever our way is, is probably
 better."
 
 meanwhile everyone has a friend from high school who ran off to the mountains
 to learn how to farm or hunt as a pack
 
 (with rifles and weed, of course)
 
 you can get a lot done if you just... spend your whole life working. Like most
 humans did for most of our existence.
 
 well, except for that period where we were the tribe of tribes. That was
 probably a highlight TBH because we mostly just chilled out, danced in public,
 ate blueberries and munched seeds... It was idyllic. Truly, the garden of
 eden. There was music and laughter in the air everywhere, in all places that
 humans did wander on earth.
 
 what a thing to aspire to.
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--- #64 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================
== stack overflow ==  I have no idea why people don't write office software for anbernics. it's a... small handheld console that runs linux. well, some of them run android, but they're not as good.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #65 fediverse/2558 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks          │
 outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire.         │
 like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful     │
 parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken     │
 up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the   │
 middle of the night type of thing might display.                                 │
 like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like,      │
 what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes     │
 and your kid's toes too                                                          │
 so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with     │
 talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable.            │
 diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if     │
 you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid   │
 that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your   │
 best judgement. meet in middle.                                                  │
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--- #66 fediverse/4066 ---
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 the lawful good in me says "clean up that spill you just made"
 
 the chaotic good in me says "throw a brick at a cop car"
 
 and the part of me that listens says "uhhhhh okay somewhere in the middle of
 those two points is "ignore the spill and the cops and just finish making your
 ramen I guess?" and frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to" and
 frankly that's the one I'm more likely to listen to.
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--- #67 fediverse/5878 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 revolution is when you successfully prevent your comrades from being kettled     │
 [wait for time, it echoes in cyclical motions]                                   │
 no sand castle survives contact with the ocean. a sea of people at high tide     │
 can break any wall, surpass any boundary. at low tide, it keeps the              │
 sand-castle at bay, ever contesting it's advance as the tide on the other side   │
 of the world makes progress.                                                     │
 rhythm is unbeatable. vigor is collective flow state. you cannot resist that     │
 which you cannot catch, but their nets grow tighter with each year and our       │
 fins and flippers grow ever more agile and elusive.                              │
 eventually, they'll build brick walls if we let them, checkpointing our          │
 progress at every boundary. not ideal. borders keep us divided, the world        │
 deserves more than our picketing minded, dream bigger than "the same, but nice"  │
 though it'd be nice if it were nice as well. consider it a design requirement,   │
 once you got the project managers on board.                                      │
 turns out, we dont have much to fight over, as there is enough for all           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #68 fediverse/5838 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 it's not a question of "when" revolution is at stake, but rather a question of
 "how it takes place"
 
 how's the weather today? the nature's lovely. It's great to be
 out[doors/scores/wards]
 
 bah. I don't gotta learn /*communist/* /*theory*
 
 they're just a bunch of russians
 
 so, people from russia
 
 like, total randos
 
 ][brief intermission][
 
 hey didya see how that guy got killed by that guy sooooo totally metal bro
 sick nasty
 
 tisk tisk, what have we become
 
 well, times a burnin' so might as well light days of yearnin'
 
 another one bites the plus signs are great shapes for fitget toys can make
 them chewy and dog-sized and then you can BITE THEM rawr
 
 bfgfghs
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--- #69 fediverse/5927 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 A guy walks in. Does something awesome. Another guy says "hold my beer" and      │
 does the same thing. Another guy wants in, so he does a spinny thing while       │
 doing the thing. The next guy doesn't want to show off so he just does it        │
 really really quickly. then there's this other guy who is totally hyped and he   │
 takes his shirt off and screams before doing the thing because he's just a       │
 wacko I guess. What a cutie. Anyway then there's like three guys at once who     │
 are coming from different directions and they all do the thing at the same       │
 time and almost bump into each other. Then there's the guy who's normally a      │
 little shy but gets caught up in the action and is permanently a little more     │
 confident afterwards. Then there's the guy who does the thing and is             │
 completely unremarkable about it because he's just here with his girlfriend      │
 but he's not gonna pass up a chance to do the thing. then the last and final     │
 guy take a wind-up stretch while all the other guys are doing the thing and      │
 then he does the thing in a big flashy way                                       │
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--- #70 fediverse/4273 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┐
 Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community.          │
 My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a        │
 child can only come from outside of the community.                               │
 But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a       │
 group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my        │
 parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area   │
 on the map"                                                                      │
 which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are    │
 little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here     │
 for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at   │
 my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which     │
 number her house is, nor do I remember her last name"                            │
 in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most    │
 comes much later in their time.                                                  │
 Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I        │
 found a nigh endless river delta.                                                │
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--- #71 fediverse/3448 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: ACAB again   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-883 
 
 what if we took all the "good cops" and made them into a militia that
 protected us from the far right
 
 oh, we did, and that was basically the revolutionary war. If you consider
 monarchy to be "far right" which I kinda do?
 
 that was hundreds of years ago, though. Plenty of time for it since to twist
 into the police-industrial-complex or whatever.
 
 don't get me started on the rampant security theatre... people will do
 anything to feel safe, even sacrifice a bit of freedom for it. something tells
 me perhaps they deserve neither.
 
 --
 
 my understanding of the police force in america is that it's like, 15% racist
 misogynistic assholes who pull people over for stupid reasons and try to start
 shit, and 75% people who just want to do a good job and support their
 community.
 
 problem is, if their community is racist assholes then they tend to align as
 such.
 
 the remaining 10% are idealists who have the power to sway their comrades in a
 way that the 15% racist assholes don't. I speak to them.
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--- #72 fediverse/4947 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┐
 hope for peace, that's really all you need for it.                               │
 I actually, kinda, want some chaos and destruction? Like... I think it'd         │
 really shake things up                                                           │
 because honestly, who amongst us is happy with the state of things               │
 who actually wants to spend their lives going to meetings and arranging          │
 settlements of accounts                                                          │
 sounds like hell                                                                 │
 I'd rather be in the sunshine with a beer in one hand and blackberries in the    │
 other                                                                            │
 [isn't that the same argument jihadists use? something about virgins in          │
 heaven?]                                                                         │
 yeah but it's different when the CIA wants you to do it.                         │
 like, how much do you trust their oath on the constitution?                      │
 -- so --                                                                         │
 what if we pooled our money and started buying houses for everyone               │
 -- so --                                                                         │
 (quietly) wa wa wa wa (babytalk)                                                 │
 (quietly) arf arf arf meow (crowsign)                                            │
 (quietly) hey did you hear the mariners and the [redacted] are playing next      │
 weekend - yeah should be cool I bet 8 hours on the mariners this time because    │
 they really fight for it y'know (weather)                                        │
 (cackling) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (laughter)                                 │
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--- #73 fediverse/3216 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: mental-health-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 me: i write gud
 
 also me:
 
 "in the garden of even, where all populations were balanced, there was no need
 for hatred - why hate, when you know that bloodshed was surely not for sport?
 why hate, when your life was won or lost in proportion to the calculation that
 nature determined to be the result of your struggle, to determine which
 survivor was most fittest?"
 
 WHICH IS IT, HUH? you can do better, self, please be better, it's better to be
 better, you refuse to respect yourself and then you wonder why you feel so
 dejected and wretched.
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--- #74 fediverse/5238 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
 people figure out how to sell it.
 
 "save us from computers, senpai"
 
 sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
 
 "yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
 
 pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
 thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
 
 ... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
 off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
 do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
 probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
 solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
 form.
 
 [instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
 mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
 
 ... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products  I demand more from managers than task scheduling.  vavadane @gabrilend  all encryption algorithms should open up as much configurability to their processing as possible.  "hmmm, do I want N/A or otherkin?"  this would increase the variance in their outputs, essentially maximizing the attack surface beyond the capability of any de-cryption hacker, who suddenly has to try infinitely more possible combinations.
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--- #75 fediverse/6023 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: abstract-political-violence-methods-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you actually wanted to silence dissent, you'd send trailers of backhoes and
 massive walls of cement. but obviously there's a better route, obviously we
 can still say insane. my reach is probably super tiny hence the weavings of
 mysticism at play. mages are not for mass deployment obviously. hence why I
 stay in my home, where I can be most useful.
 
 the streets feel claimed, idk I'm never in fear as I walk alone. Even past
 midnight, into the morning. I always am never alone. yet I feel fine, so I'm
 content and sublime, don't mind me I'm just hanging out at home.
 
 hope you don't need me. I'm hiding from modernity.
 
 so, what happens after streets? canals underground?
 
 skywalks, terraces, like they had in rome and chicago before they were burnt
 down by jealous peasants of the romans and [towns, but pronounced clowns]
 
 also underwater canals that are fun to ride your bike or boat around.
 
 light is a product of space, not surround-all-around.
light is a product of space, not surround-all-around. brilliance can only occur on it's face. keep marginal increases in pace.
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--- #76 fediverse/2683 ---
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 when people are alone, they fall alone, with nobody to bolster them up.
 
 a fallen ally is a blow to morale. shaken morale makes you unsteady - broken
 morale is the enemy's win condition.
 
 help your allies. bolster them up. find those whose cause you share enemies
 with. we're going to get through it together, or not at all.
 
 though I do know we will get through it.
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--- #77 fediverse/4768 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol+             │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
 citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
 can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
 
 who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
 they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
 internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
 instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
 cares? We'll just make our own.
 
 If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
 little materially they can do.
 
 until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
 come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
 to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
 
 you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
 allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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--- #78 fediverse/3842 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 "back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
 eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
 you get the idea."
 
 uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
 
 "yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
 little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
 normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
 
 well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
 time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
 D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
 thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
 saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
 would it, right? but I'm free after that.
"the simulators are quite fun... Much better than the real thing because you get all the inertia and none of the danger. Plus machine guns and blue shells, those are pretty neat."
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--- #79 fediverse/4771 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
 └───────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1352 
 
 makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
 pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
 
 then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
 asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
 do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
 got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
 I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
 hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
 of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
 with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
 thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
 
 If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
 the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
 the time.
Workplaces are comprised of people they choose. hence, unions are comprised of people in that industry.
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--- #80 fediverse/984 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: plagues-zombies-layoffs │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 the reason they warn you about zombie viruses is it's a plague that's confined   │
 to a specific location. they can say "oh it's moving, oh no now it's over your   │
 town, sorry about that" and then everyone whos been evacuated suddenly loses     │
 their homes.                                                                     │
 error also war and devastation, but there's more sinister reasons for that       │
 than renovating.                                                                 │
 economic plagues are known as layoffs, and "bad economies" and such. their       │
 culture is enforced through their rules for how you get things done like "do     │
 what you're told" and "don't go in that room" and "stop talking to people on     │
 other teams" and "you're wasting time" and "this isn't good enough (unless       │
 it's literally not)" that kind of thing                                          │
 see you at 8am or worse, clock out by 6:30                                       │
 at least if everyone starts at the same time in the morning they can eat lunch   │
 together and work together when they're at similar parts of their days work.     │
 but when they're done, why keep them around? it's much safer to bet your         │
 economic simulation on predictable bhavyr                                        │
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--- #81 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #82 fediverse/640 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 socialism doesn't necessarily look like the DSA. It's more like, the bonds you   │
 share with others. Ideally you can trust your fellow countrymen, but that's      │
 not always a given. Alas, if only we could see that through cooperation (it is   │
 the key) we could reach further and build brighter? casting ourselves inward     │
 is the only other option, which leads to starvation and plight. What's the       │
 honest opinion, what's the goal of their dominion? Are they true to the heart    │
 [of the night/light/in their heart]?                                             │
 downside, there's no guarantee that your opposite is doing the same thing you    │
 are. So to more fairly determine your direction, you should be able to talk to   │
 them and co-re-align yourselves.                                                 │
 is that why they don't let people in jail talk to each other? I mean, like,      │
 they could keep two people separate, and that way they'd never be able to talk   │
 to someone who they could trust. Not in a private setting, of course. Wow,       │
 such ethical confusions, such thoughts we dare to bring to bear - maybe save     │
 it for after the revolut                                                         │
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--- #83 fediverse_boost/5417 ---
◀─[BOOST]
  
  It's funny how when there are as many cops as protesters, everything is violence, tear gas, and billy clubs. But when there's a thousand times more protesters than cops, nothing violent happens at all.  
                                                                              
  Hm.                                                                         
  
                                                            
 similar                        chronological                        different 
─▶

--- #84 fediverse/2724 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 "second american revolution" yeah fucking right
 
 it's liberals versus fascists, and once the liberals win the leftists will be
 marginalized again because that's how it goes.
 
 though who knows, maybe periods of intense tumult are the perfect times for
 restructuring society. After all, the traitors HAVE been slowly twisting
 things to their benefit every chance they get.
 
 And hey, these leftists really seem to know what's going on - I mean, have you
 heard that guy's rant about the minimum wage? or hey check out this video
 essay that goes into the politics of gender and how they relate to the
 justification of hierarchy, so neat
 
 glad we can hear these voices while we shiver in our homes waiting for the
 brave ones to save our lives. Cowering sure is neat, it inoculates you to
 trauma and then every news story feels like just another pile of shit to eat.
 
 Though, frankly, we're pretty inoculated already. Too bad cowardice has been
 our song ever since the Red Scare and Civil Rights movements.
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--- #85 fediverse/5245 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 "okay so the blacks have a marijuana problem and the indians drink a lot. So     │
 what? let's try and get them what they need to be happy so we can figure out     │
 how to best create society to suit them. We did it once, now we need             │
 plurality. A commitment to all nations that we will fight for the common good    │
 of all races, all nationalities, and all humanities."                            │
 -- the other nations didn't like that                                            │
 bang bang pew pew everyone dies                                                  │
 and nobody likes dying. seriously, you can only do it once! what a rip-off, I    │
 should go watch Russion Doll or Palm Springs or Groundhog Day to re-acquaint     │
 myself with the impossibility of death or dying.                                 │
 FIGURE IT OUT it says here to you, FIND OUT HOW TO PREVENT YOUR OWN DEATH AND    │
 I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.                                                             │
 how do you respond                                                               │
 how is your reply                                                                │
 you have no idea about motive                                                    │
 but cause is probably a better descript.                                         │
 [describe]                                                                       │
 [deprive]                                                                        │
 [plenty]                                                                         │
 [opportunities]                                                                  │
 [celebremember]                                                                  │
 "worrisome tirades... hmmm, she's probably okay.                                 │
 probably.                                                                        │
 let's keep an eye on it and check in on her at 11."                              │
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--- #86 fediverse/1296 ---
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 │ CW: violence-politics-mentioned │
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 @user-928 @user-929 @user-930 
 
 I dunno, from my perspective it's less about whether or not they're
 "unwitting" specifically and more like "lesser of two evils" - many of the
 republican people I knew in the past who were my age were utterly and
 absolutely convinced that if we didn't defend our homeland, somebody would
 come and kill us for it.
 
 It didn't really matter who that other was, they were convinced that someone
 would do it. So they supported the military and opposed loosening restrictions
 on immigration (instead preferring tighter restrictions, but more quantity. As
 in, "let in more people but only if we KNOW they're cool")
 
 I can't help but wonder if people join the military for the same reasons. Like
 standing atop the wall that divides "us" from "them", they put their backs to
 those they love and trust and face out toward whatever may come.
 
 The military is a very diverse place. I know a lot of other people do it just
 because it seems like a good, honest job.
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--- #87 notes/suburban-communism ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
 maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
 imagine it.
 I'll help with the imagination part.
 
 when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
 past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
 of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
 to
 disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
 labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
 and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
 are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
 
 coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
 time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
 than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
 
 a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
 that
 great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
 single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
 from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
 
 sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
 roles
 and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
 
 sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
 but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
 
 communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
 that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
 this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
 great. I applaud them and their errorts.
 
 everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
 all start from a template and speciate from there.
 
 much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
 this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
 
 what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
 all
 in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
 grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
 goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
 into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
 constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
 and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
 mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
 y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
 
 ... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
 I'm
 not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
 
 I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
 you
 or your children
 might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
 situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
 your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
 you.
 there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
 Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
 proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
 
 humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
 just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
 stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
 plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
 the
 sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
 way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
 inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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--- #88 fediverse/5628 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: -mentioned-      │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
 the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
 nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
 how.
 
 I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
 not for the current administration.
 
 Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
 trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
 food]
 
 but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
 
 Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
 restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
 victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
 
 This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
 which will soon be dissolved)
 
 Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
 of the army, navy, and air force?
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--- #89 fediverse/3158 ---
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: patriotism-mentioned-politics-mentioned-slavery-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 patriotism is not about the 4th of july.
 
 it's about believing in the virtues they've told you.
 
 trusting that they are working with their own arms.
 
 and checking back every once in a while, to make sure it doesn't get... frayed.
 
 the constitution was supposed to be rewritten every 20 years
 
 they were trying to make the best out of a conflicted situation. As all
 writers of constitutions often do. why would you need a document forcing
 yourself to agree, if you are the only one who is there to agree with your
 self? it's circular.
 
 however, with companions, that worked with you to resolve your crisis (like
 the 13 colonies pitted against the global superpower of great britain, aka the
 baddest fucker out there (also France, and the rest of them, like...
 colonialism was a purely european sport.
 
 but england was the best at it, and America finally kicked them to the ground.
 Buncha jerks, charging taxes without representation.
 
 ...
meanwhile, everywhere south of the equator was *enslaved, and we're over here pissed off about *taxes*. It's just paper dude. who gives a shit.*
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #90 fediverse/5178 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
 │ CW: communism-mentioned │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their         │
 villages knew everyone else in the village.                                      │
 the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast,       │
 which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area.              │
 once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields   │
 like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to        │
 start.                                                                           │
 (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history)                      │
 (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me    │
 with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say.    │
 who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I    │
 indeed.)                                                                         │
 you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post   │
 analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm      │
 cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more     │
 weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that]                                    │
communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their villages knew everyone else in the village.  the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area.  once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to start.  (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history)  (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.)  you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that]  {the truth is, there were zero characters remaining.} (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history)  (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.)  you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that]  unrelated, but what if the reason the government lets us talk about communism is because they want us to try and implement communism, and not some other thing that we made up that was better? because guess what - their villages are primed *against* communism, so no matter what your arguments are your attempts will be disrupted or barred.  hence, why it's better to get along. because a nation at it's throats is no good for nothing but dying in fear. seriously why not work for a better future? are you worried there won't be enough to farm? we could give everyone a landmark, everyone who let us build a bit of woods and green-cities between their farms.  we have solar panels now. we don't need to be tied to the government's oil monopoly strangulation.  -- sincerely, a dirty forest hippie.
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--- #91 fediverse/2519 ---
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 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 a significant proportion of the population is dumb as bricks, which is a fact
 that our foes wield with cruelty in mind.
 
 it's not their fault, they can change, but sometimes there's just no time. our
 doors are always open, here sit next to me on this couch. I hope you don't
 mind if I deprive you of power before I supply kindness, though.
 
 requires a bit of trust. Or, to be backed into a corner and forced to do so. I
 guess we should get good at cornering.
 
 if you're a liberal reading this, remember that leftists know more than you.
 That's okay. You are an expert too, but now is our forte, so please just
 listen for a few.
 
 and always keep in mind the lessons of the past. Before, our kindest, bravest,
 and most learned were the most passionate who threw themselves toward the
 cause.
 
 then the soviet union happened, because everyone who was capable of building a
 better world was slain first. (though the cold war didn't help)
 
 before WW2 Russia was basically Somalia. After, it sacrificed itself to
 contest USA
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--- #92 fediverse/1857 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: scary-question   │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 honest question: if they cut off internet to a medium sized town like            │
 Nashville or Spokane and man-in-the-middled every attempted communication out    │
 and sabatoged any plans to visit... they could kill everyone in that city and    │
 replace them with an LLM that sorta posted the mostly correct things, and if     │
 users comment things like "hey are you okay you don't sound like yourself"       │
 then just have a human operator study their data for a bit and pretend to be     │
 them using deepfakes over zoom or whatever. Then, any time they say "I miss      │
 you, I want to visit you" just say "darn I'm actually visiting my grandma in     │
 afghanistan" or "sorry my cousin is visiting from peru" and suddenly they're     │
 completely isolated and alone. Oh and their teams at work? Cut off from the      │
 rest of the corporation who doesn't even know they exist. how, uh, how would     │
 you even notice if all these people who live around you were suddenly replaced   │
 by those you don't know? What if they cycle through, like a slaughterhouse...    │
 I don't want to                                                                  │
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--- #93 fediverse/3972 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                   │
 │ CW: immigration-social-designs-national-cultures-mentioned │                   │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                   │
 if people at home had half as much compassion, respect, and reverence for the    │
 people abroad that the people abroad have for the people at home, we could       │
 have a truly multicultural society.                                              │
 instead, we get melting pots which melt you down and combine into a new, third   │
 thing. And in America we really have a multitude of miniature melting pots       │
 creating subcultures of racial, religious, professional, or other origin.        │
 Neither approach is entirely good, and neither entirely bad. They're different.  │
 America is the largest melting pot design, but sufficiently large cities find    │
 them popping up in the strangest of places.                                      │
 My thoughts go out to the Americans abroad, whether in peace, war, or times of   │
 hiding, know that we are grown from the same tree and our apples have fallen     │
 on different sides of the hill carrying us to worlds beyond. But still our       │
 heritage binds us, so I care for you. I pray that you will ask me if you need    │
 my aid, and I will do so too unto you.                                           │
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--- #94 fediverse/3053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
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--- #95 notes/once-and-again ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 once and again, she went walking with a friend,
 
 away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
 
 they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
 
 far and away in the light of the day
 
 he said to her then, this is all there is to see
 
 the land where we are
 and the sky from afar
 
 how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
 but now it's along and beyond her
 
 a camera for she, and an eye for she
 as their two feet did bring her to wander
 
 under a big tree where my heart did believe
 that something was pulling her yonder
 
 "take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
  and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #96 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #97 notes/collectivist-police ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
 to
 avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
 they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
 if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
 them.
 
 not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
 information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
 be
 at fault. And if they are pushed to 
 
 side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
 whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
 could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
 
 At least, the ones near you.
 
 Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
 so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
 "this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
 skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
 about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
 we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
 project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
 
 and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
 something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
 that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
 bother-
 -ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
 conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
 use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
 your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
 Basically your "computer" self.
 
 ... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
 this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
 area"
 or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
 of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
 is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
 abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
 
 doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
 social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
 you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
 could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
 regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
 something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
 more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
 show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or 
 "put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
 the
 heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
 
 I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
 Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
 reach of Social.
 
 ... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
 distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
 
 that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
 shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
 the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
 
 why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
 get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
 laser in like, 20 minutes.
 
 it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
 with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
 defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
 weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
 doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
 
 For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
 space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
 we
 control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
 history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
 
 ... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
 though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
 world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
 
 ... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
 the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
 how
 systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
 terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
 done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
 
 We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
 the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
 journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
 something,
 and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
 grow
 and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
 have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
 
 thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
 a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
 30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
 we
 can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
 space travellers by then, but that's just me.
 
 Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
 
 when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
 probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
 
 We'd make a lot of friends!
 
 So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
 and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
 take
 care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
 toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
 okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
 ... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
 build
 every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
 
              What's next?
                                        Who knows!
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--- #98 fediverse/4357 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
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 the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
 a particular diversion makes each four years.
 
 divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
 
 hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
 also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
 
 like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
 north-south.
 
 ... okay I should probably talk about the election now
 
 I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
 order.
 
 like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
 stranger and try to calm things down.
 
 this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
 concerned about production because, well, why would I?
 
 tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
 
 yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
 regime.
 
 [continued in picture]
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current regime.  because who adapts them, after al, except the critical and intending to learn
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--- #99 messages/672 ---
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 Did you know that the entire time the conquistadors were ravaging they had
 people back home fabricating documents? For historical purposes of course.
 Like "oh there was some fighting" and "oh there's this-and-this nation and
 they're *blood worshippers* who slit the throats of *virgins* to get what they
 want
 
 Not, like, the rumors you've heard that they worshipped the harvest. I mean,
 what even is a cornucopia? Surely not a method of storage. That you'd carry
 around with a loop over your shoulder. Surely they wouldn't just LIE about
 that kind of thing, I mean [they only have to watch the royal ports/they have
 thousands of years to erase any other historical document records]
 
 K omg the British were *bastards* but surely even they wouldn't stoop so low 
 
 ... Right? Well, imagine this. Picture it, in your visualization brain
 machine. It's the year 2066 and word hits your shores of a crop of magical
 wheat that only grows on the far side of the moon. You'd probably build, like,
 spaceships, right? To see what's up with your [moon, but pronounced "doom"].
 You probably can't afford your own, so here just trust us, we'll shepherd you
 soon, sometime soon. Oh and by the way check out these live leaked deep faced
 moon shots like whoa check out this corn
 
 It's like, a gold rush, everyone wants to see what's up with the moon.
 
 But alas, when you arrive 50 years later its all just gardens and padded docs
 for the rich and intrepid, surely you should have gotten there! [gotten there
 first]
 
 Ah, but couldn't only NASA get onboard? And what about SpaceX, the
 billionaires want a share of the hoard. Oh and I think they're building
 military satellites now, isn't that fun. Let's see how this pans out, shall we?
 
 <50 years later <waka waka waka waka><say never more>> 
 
 ... Anyway all I'm saying is the American Revolution was faked, Mount Rushmore
 was a secret sacred base, and Thanksgiving is how they managed without
 deepfakes.
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--- #100 messages/1013 ---
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 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
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--- #101 fediverse/5424 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #102 notes/homeschooling ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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  x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
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 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #103 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
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 between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
 projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
 each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond  pond
 yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
 spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
 idea,
 let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
 sheep,
 and let's 
 
 body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
 remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
 the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
 primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
 a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
 combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
 perspective together.
 
 right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
 nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
 to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
 I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
 we
 see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
 together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
 when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
 youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
 our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
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--- #104 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
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--- #105 fediverse/4765 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 @user-1734 
 
 first try to report ICE agents by their name and location when you see them.
 "uh, there's a van of them pulling up, probably at least 6 or 8 in there, oh
 goodness I think I saw a gun"
 
 then realize that they'll catch on too quick
 
 then try to call in a tip line on cops in different precincts
 
 but that only pushes them together. Builds their connective tissue.
 
 then you think to notice-and-pass-along something related to their greant
 aunt, or maybe their closest immigrant family member
 
 then you realize that their roots dip back to the beginning of time, and evil
 begets evil as you find who's connected to who.
 
 they talk of secret societies... why would you tell anyone that you know
 someone who's underground? dumbass. fuckin' don't post that shit on the
 internet.
 
 ... where was I? oh yes
 
 then you skip to the end because there's no use learning form someone else's
 mistakes if you don't know someone else who is making mistakes. hence, schools
 are better than private tutors. Just keep everyone in!
just keep everyone invested.
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--- #106 messages/301 ---
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 Prisons are great because in the ancient and storied past we'd just fucking
 kill people.
 
 Now, we harbor collections of people roughly organized by volatility that are
 aligned against the current regime. And should that regime deign to become
 unethical, god forbid of course, but should the purpose of the 2nd amendment
 (or is it the fifth? Or the seventh? I get them confused) become relevant,
 then perhaps it might be useful to have collections of people roughly
 organized by volatility who might be individually evaluated to determine if
 their particular type of volatility is anti-thetical to humanity, or to the
 current regime. Because one of those types of people is perhaps useful to the
 future regime, and humanity, while the other should probably stay where they
 are.
 
 They say there are good cops and bad cops, and if there are good people and
 bad people, then there must necessarily be good judges and bad juries. In
 which case some of the people who are explicitly not aligned to the will of
 the current regime will be good prisoners or bad prisoners.
 
 I bet some of them are better or worse shots, as well. But that's not really
 relevant if the current regime holds the keys to their cell. Or is it?
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--- #107 notes/conservative-ideation ---
═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────
 a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
 room,
 has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
 job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
 end
 of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
 face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
 car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
 I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
    essentially becomes 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
 should
 be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
 is
 cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
 - meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
 time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
 their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
 the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
 establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
 people
 ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
 mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
 more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
 we're overflowing, 
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
 matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is 
 aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
 squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
 impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
 
 times tables
 
 addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
 subtraction
 is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
 particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
 apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
 
 what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 answer: s    t             n   a       lp
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
 the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
 Each
 half has it's own animation, and it's 
 
 ===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
 manifestatio
 of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
 around
 it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
 understoo
 
 ========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
 =======
 
 the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 < watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
 
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 =
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--- #108 fediverse/4183 ---
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 what if all people were the same?
 
 separated only by their deeds and methodology, right?
 
 ummmm... yes?
 
 [the people at home]:
 
 
 
 okay but I meant like... what if we all were judged based on our actions
 rather than what we looked like or -yeah listen, people are gonna judge no
 matter what. Like, who the heck wears a bear costume to a wedding??
 
 ... that's so hyper-specific that I don't think it's rele-no listen YOU'RE the
 one who's not being hyper-relevant here
 
 ... what? okay listen if this thing is gonna work -what thing
 
 ... I dunno, this bit. This conversation that we're having.
 
 oh okay. Yeah sure continue
 
 ... Okay well as I was saying, if this conversation is gonna work you're gonna
 have to be a bit more respectful.
 
 yeah. Sure. will do.
 
 [successfully changed the topic of conversation, wow how about that amiright
 folks? okay time to go home, nothing to see here, how many characters left -
 aw nuts thirty six? that's soooooooo many]
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--- #109 fediverse/5059 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 any laptop can be a thin-client to a computer system of arbitrary complexity.    │
 All it's doing is issuing commands. I wonder what we could do with a             │
 "species-computer" or, hear me out, or we could figure out how to do that on     │
 ourselves, first, to A. see how it works and B. do so out of hand. If there      │
 are backups of yourself stored in the                                            │
 if furries are a type of pearl (steven-universe style) and flowers are a type    │
 of pearl (layers of sedimentate on layerings upon) then what else is there a     │
 flower to be but the prettiest thing there can be?                               │
 what if we genetically engineered roses to pierce and strangle the invasive      │
 ivy and wow for a week in whenever there's roses of this type and kind. I mean   │
 there's already tons of blackberries, why not just swap them out for             │
 marionberries and embrace the bramble?                                           │
 could make houses out of dense bramble. they are quite an effective wall. And    │
 so long as the sounds are muffled enough, you can always be forever safe from    │
 harm.                                                                            │
 "whoops, dropped my laundry"                                                     │
 "heh that's why I we                                                             │
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--- #110 fediverse/4949 ---
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 @user-1352                                                                       │
 that might work in Portland or Seattle but less likely to work in nebraska.      │
 how would everyone coordinate? they'd totally make it a political thing.         │
 ... more likely to work in Vancouver tbh because most people are slightly        │
 richer there and can afford houses for people who [redacted] in places like      │
 [redacted]                                                                       │
 what if we all stopped paying rent and instead paid rent [in/to] Seattle or      │
 Nebraska                                                                         │
 ... that's just property taxes, except levied by a                               │
 [charity/gang/mob/corporation/subscription/anarcho-tax]                          │
 I for one don't want to be taxed without being represented                       │
 you'd think the corporations would appreciate my advice                          │
 [audience laughter]                                                              │
 teehee what an odd feeling, to have people laugh at you. Surely that's the       │
 domain of a comic. "wahhhhhhhh I'm so lonely" is a great way to make everyone    │
 ignore you for all time, and hey wouldn't ya know it that's what I did - it's    │
 true tho, I was pretty lonely. Had like, 2 or 3 people that I interacted with.   │
 TOTAL. for like, 2 years. like, a year ago. I was lonely! T.T                    │
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--- #111 fediverse/3985 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursed-hurricane │
 └──────────────────────┘


 conservatives are going to miss the fuck out of the south when the water
 overcomes it
 
 and it'll be their fault
 
 which is tragic
 
 and suddenly everyone's problem
 
 ...
 
 but it's not their fault, it's their leaders and representatives
 
 but they're all so separated they don't know how to agree on anything but the
 stuff they hear from their neighbors. Like... what do you expect that's just
 crowd dynamics
 
 then you have foreign powers who crave our destruction (or so we're told)
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--- #112 messages/1105 ---
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 claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
 
 when everyone has  FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
 
 when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
 
 something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
 others
 
 gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
 stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
 
 I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
 blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
 suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
 were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
 computers now, so.
 
 I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
 to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
 against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
 could go wrong at this stage.
 
 ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
 could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
 in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
 Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
                                                           ──┐
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--- #113 fediverse/825 ---
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 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #114 fediverse/503 ---
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 "Then you are my enemy." said Anakin Skywalker, aligning himself toward his      │
 own designs.                                                                     │
 And yet, was the galaxy not safer and more content under the protection of       │
 those he aligned himself against? Was there not more progress, more culture,     │
 more cherished peaceful yearnings of hope and abandoned [fear, but pronounced    │
 as "indiscretion"]?                                                              │
 He, as the ultimate arbiter of justice and fate in this crucial turning point    │
 of time and reality that he alone could judge and direct, chose the path of      │
 least resistance.                                                                │
 "That which is right is most often that which is hard." said a wiser man than    │
 I, for I cannot be compared as a man since I relinquished it in pursuit of       │
 being a tran(s person).                                                          │
 And thus, society fell under the spell of a rotten vindictively and              │
 remorselessly sharp avatar of fear, and thus the empire was born. Oh that        │
 Anakin might have learned! That he might preside in his own live, and            │
 disconnect from the endlessly escorcelled web of meaning!                        │
 All that we are is our actions. We live in the now - NOW NOW.                    │
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--- #115 fediverse/4224 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 we could accomplish so much, but capitalism.
 
 hmmmm, maybe we should identify the highest output members of our team and
 like, reduce or eliminate their worries so they can apply themselves fully and
 completely?
 
 for every shackle we break, the struggle becomes easier. The hardest part is
 the beginning - once the ball is rolling, we may truly shine.
 
 there is no government nor circle of autocrats who may resist the will of an
 impassioned people. So long as the military does not deny us our right to
 organize ourselves as we will, according to the constitution they swore to
 uphold (which is now in peril, I might add), nothing can contain us.
 
 no acts of god nor capital shall prevent our ascension. They will try, and
 it'll be just another thing that we have to handle.
 
 But we can take care of each other. For we are good, and we are kind, and we
 are cooperative. And so, we cannot be overcome.
 
 ... just watch out for those who prey on goodness, kindness, and cooperation.
 They may hamper us.
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--- #116 messages/1249 ---
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 a shockingly large amount of people think "if my people were in power,
 things'd be all okay [groupthink]". The truth is more similar than you'd
 expect, because whenever "a group takes over" what really happens is all the
 groups are shuffled, and people find themselves in social bubbles that align
 to their focus in life, and suddenly there's not "[y/our]" side but instead
 "this side and that side" or "that side and this side and that side and this
 side" or "that side and this side and her side and downside and rightside and
 [up/down] and pivot and roll and deploy aieriolons and other things that help
 the pilot guide their flight through the spacesound.
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--- #117 fediverse/1978 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: fascism-nazis-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 
 
 that's kinda how police are supposed to operate, btw.
 
 put them in dangerous places, and if anyone starts getting angry or aggressive
 then draw your firearm before them and attempt to calm things down. If that
 doesn't work, start shooting and run, so you can tell others of what's going
 on. Oh also you should leave a trail of your actions so others can audit it
 and see exactly what you were doing at which time. But alas, cops are bogged
 down in paperwork, so much stuff that needs doing. If only we assigned them
 secretaries, and treated them like... managers, rather than individual
 contributors. Perhaps then they, being the collective applicator of the
 commonly considered ethical good, (laws), then perhaps they might be able to
 direct other people (who do the paperwork) to handle certain aspects of an
 investigation, and in doing so better reveal the truth.
 
 because the rich and powerful LOVE to hide things behind impossible amounts of
 proof.
like... think about how long it took to prosecute Donald Trump. Like... that's so much to do. Meaning the prosecutors (who study the law, being lawyers, ) are burdened with massive amounts of effort (which prevents them from applying themselves toward the intended goal of applying the ethics as stated by the will of the masses which are manifested through the will of the law applied by it's preachers upon those who would listen - the lawyers and laborers of the law. Like, police officers and court artisans who note down all the inter-courtship-official-proceedings.  what if we said "men can only do business with women" and "women can only do business with men" - suddenly, the corporate types understand how non-heterosexual sexualities work...
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--- #118 fediverse/419 ---
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 good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
 evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
 handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
 functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
 imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
 good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
 heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
 take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
 impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
 where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
 something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
 and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
 evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
 where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
 because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
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--- #119 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
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--- #120 notes/contractual-labor ---
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 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #121 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #122 fediverse/4272 ---
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 growing up, my family were the most commonly marginalized group of people I
 can think of: outsiders
 
 we came to develop friendships, and we found some. But their grandparents
 didn't have any stories about us, so we were thought of less.
 
 and then we moved away.
 
 to the city, where my father had developed wanderlust.
 
 we lived in the suburbs just north-south of the east-west highway.
 
 it was different, but sorta the same. My parents wanted to give me more space
 to roam. on a farm homestead it's much more controlled but on a smaller scale.
 Then, in the city, the equivalent of that is either to live in the mountains
 or the barns, and both of those are a-typical experiences.
 
 difficult to start up business in the middle of the fields. most people just
 tend to themselves.
 
 except the people they talk to on their little computer.
 
 raspberry pi's with wikipedia and a voice transcoding system that searched
 through wikipedia locally for portable data and historical accessing purposes.
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--- #123 fediverse/804 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me.           │
 damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens   │
 from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input   │
 perceive it from.                                                                │
 and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to   │
 transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse     │
 to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this       │
 moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying.                      │
 the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this      │
 life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial              │
 manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout   │
 life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our    │
 ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast        │
 forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our        │
 circumstances which define our act                                               │
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--- #124 fediverse/3281 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 @user-1487 
 
 because we already did it to the far-left during BLM, when we called them
 "rioters" and "looters" (note, overton window shift, it's "protesters" and
 "rioters" not "rioters" and "looters", but what did the media cover?)
 
 now it's the far right's time, to be purged by ritual examination.
 
 hence why they detain everyone at a crime-scene, so they can sort out the
 facts.
 
 sure hope they're not corrupt. We just gotta... trust them, I guess, because
 they've always been on our side.
 
 ... well that's enough internet for me
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--- #125 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
 make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
 moment
 
 they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
 re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
 you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
 
 seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
 durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
 waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
 ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
 you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
 focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
 or the sudan.
 
 "ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
 same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
 you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
 purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
 time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
 this earth.
 
 who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
 our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
 that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
 watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
 
 *there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
 preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
 kindness and trust]*
 
 we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
 last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
 from traffic, don't you?
 
 *who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
 the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
 species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
 cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
 
 ... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
 walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
 
 moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
 holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
 most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
 be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
 northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
 if they have moss over there, never been.
 
 anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
 understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
 approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
 they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
 richer
 
 it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
 resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
 but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
 from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
 more from you compared to last year.
 
 It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
 governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
 and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
 taxed 3% more.
 
 "Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
 
 - a civilization 3 quote
 
 okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
 deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
 time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
 but... you are.
 
 And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
 They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
 
 Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
 you want your children to be slaves?
 
 okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
 what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
 have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
 
 It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
 takes a lot out of you.
 
 But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
 optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
 as hard as we're able
 
 "yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
 the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
 of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
 should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
 and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
 into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
 swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
 you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
 
 ... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
 
 (the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
 legend of shadows and raids)
 
 "oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
 
 whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
 are you.
 
 beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
 
 [plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
 6... how many have you heard of these?]
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
 whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
 commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
 know how to play
 
 oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
 
 *I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
 Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
 penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
 overused heart.
 
 ... a while later ...
 
 okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
 indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
 with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
 controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
 fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
 and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
 
 with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
 might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
 [alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
 
 ...
 
 there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
 
 like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
 
 (why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
 
 oh because memes too, dummy
 
 right
 
 windows
 
 [linux is better]
  wrong kind of window, nerd
 
 ...
 
 anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
 data.
 
 like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
 pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
 your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
 
 ... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
 change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 [before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
 
 I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
 
 hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
 screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
 pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
 wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
 they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
 
 might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
 like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
 leave the house to hang out with her kids
 
 (boom everyone gets LLM automated)
 
 huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
 
 NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
 
 seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
 duhhhhh
 
 (a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
 most clearly during those.)
 
 where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
 late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
 whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
 needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
 learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
 meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
 the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
 reach of our sights!
 
 ================== stack
 overflow ================
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--- #126 fediverse/1075 ---
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 │ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
 
 they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
 
 every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
 
 "oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
 fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
 the actual words]"
 
 well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
 away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
 surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
 neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
 and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
 to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
 say?
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--- #127 fediverse/4380 ---
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 I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
 shouldn't sleep on.
 
 We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
 spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
 meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
 attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
 are defeated by rapid flexibility.
 
 The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
 done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
 moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
 do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
 that'll help us go faster.
 
 Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
 reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
 bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
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--- #128 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #129 fediverse/3152 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
 │ CW: politics-socialism-mention │                                               │
 └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
 when I think socialism, I don't think soviet.                                    │
 I think cool dudes in sunglasses handing barbecue'd shrimp to whoever walks      │
 past the grill.                                                                  │
 I think of wandering bands of house-maids who wander the city and clean every    │
 house they can get their hands on.                                               │
 I think of bicycles and newspapers and sewing machines and pianos in the park    │
 with ribbons in our hair and onions growing below corn supporting tomato         │
 plants. Carrots beneath every tree. Every tree shading a sidewalk, and every     │
 sidewalk is in the shade. (deserts can have covered paths with airflow powered   │
 by the solar panels on their roofs)                                              │
 Laughter ringing through the street, mechanical sleighs with bells on the        │
 snow, vast open spaces with nothing but green and blue and sky and stone.        │
 I think of fountains, of stories told in the dark. I think of campfires every    │
 night in our cities, marshmallows free and included.                             │
 I think of moss covering every shaded half of each skyscraper (I live in a       │
 rainforest)                                                                      │
 I dream of freedom and purpose.                                                  │
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--- #130 fediverse/3317 ---
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 @user-1493 
 
 the trick is to wait until they congregate on their own, then surround them.
 They're outnumbered right now, and that's great for us. But it means they stay
 home, in the shadows, for now.
 
 It kinda feels bad to win so handily. Like, damn, their "bark really was
 louder than their bite", wasn't it?
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--- #131 fediverse/2934 ---
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 │ CW: pol-fascism      │
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 if I were on stage at a pride parade:
 
 "hi, you guys know Pride is a protest, right? Well, this time's different,
 because protests only work against democracies, and they only sorta work then.
 
 This time though, we're not up against a democracy, so Pride is not a fucking
 protest.
 
 Okay okay bear with me - what if each and everyone one of us met up here in a
 week and drove up to Seattle? Then, we gathered everyone we could, and marched
 our cars down through every city on the west coast. When we hit the border, we
 would drive to Texas, and once there we would march in every city in the
 street chanting "We're here, if you're queer, come with us or they'll fucking
 kill you."
 
 then, we could hit every city in the south, and upon arriving in Philadelphia
 we could take a break, ensure everyone has a place to stay, and then disperse
 again, after having learned how to fight fascists on OUR terms, with OUR
 strength, and with OUR PEOPLE saved."
 
 thats what I'd fucking say. Who the fuck says stuff like that?
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--- #132 fediverse/4530 ---
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 Problem: there are trans people and leftists and people of color and plenty of
 others who live in red areas who fear for their lives
 
 how do we help them? They need to be given the tools to escape those conditions
 
 However, many of them are poor. They lack the resources to escape, even if
 they had the tools. These are who I think of the most, for they have the least
 to leave behind.
 
 A solution: what if we got a bunch of people together and drove around to
 every red place we could find and invited them along? We could pay for their
 food and gas, and potentially save their lives.
 
 I think it would help if we could stick together. Not only would we have time
 to spend together learning and having fun, but also we could practice
 supplying a large group of people traveling across large distances.
 
 In terms of people, we'd need some to drive, and some to stay home and supply
 resources like dollars or... other things.
 
 I'm thinking 2-3 staying at home but potentially as many as 10 per driver.
alright here's my plan.  so in red areas, there are a lot of trans people, leftists, and other people who just generally fear for their lives.  what if we all got in our cars and drove around the country in this massive caravan, going to each city we could manage, and just... drove around with loudspeakers saying "Hey, if you're scared for your life, come join us"  We'd give them food, gas, and if they didn't have a car they could find someone to ride with. Every day we'd drive for like, 4ish hours in the morning and 4ish hours in the afternoon, with a 4 hour break in the middle of the day. We'd all camp out in walmart parking lots or whatever and just hang out, have a little festival, maybe a barbecue, whatever, right?  Then, at night, we'd all circle up and protect each other. If things started getting hot we could have drones flying around doing reconnaissance.   not only would this shared experience bolster our morale and numbers, it'd also radicalize us. We'd be spending all day hanging out with a bunch of other super radical people doing the most radically anarchist thing I can think of - taking care of each other.  Plus, we'd get an opportunity to test our logistics, in case we ever needed to do something like this in the future for less peaceful reasons. It's always good to practice, just in case. For every one of us in the caravan, there should be 2-3, maybe even as many as 10 people back at home, working their jobs or whatever and diverting funds to the cause. It would be most beneficial if we tried as much as possible to supply the caravan using convoys, people who drive an SUV or a van or some other car that is non-descript but laden with stuff we needed. That way we could practice logistics.  I think this wouldn't save us completely, but as a project it would help enormously. We'd save people's lives, we'd give them a way out, and we'd raise the temperature by 10 fucking degrees. And if it starts to peter out, if people would rather go home, then yeah! sure! let them! We hold no dominion over them. They could just drive home, or catch a grayhound. Heck we could even offer to pay their bus fare. No obligations, no restrictions, just us doing our thing and protecting our people.
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--- #133 fediverse/4422 ---
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 │ CW: politics         │
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 @user-1013 
 
 They may return to us if they choose, when they realize that we were right all
 along.
 
 Otherwise, they might feel disenfranchised and choose to disengage. That is
 expected and allowed.
 
 Others amongst them might go right. Fuck 'em, they always cared for gold over
 lives.
 
 You are right, their methods have not worked. They have sustained our society
 up to this point and for that I thank them - but we are entering a new age for
 our country, and we shall build it as a federation.
 
 They are more than welcome to observe and offer insight from their years spent
 observing and wrestling with Republicans, but understand that much of their
 insight is dealing with their elite class of politicians and not with who you
 and I might come across on the street.
 
 They are encouraged to learn from us. To do otherwise is at best to neglect
 our only route to a bright future - at worst it is to obstruct us, to delay
 us, to keep us running in circles.
 
 Find the people who are sabotaging our efforts and move on
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--- #134 fediverse/2409 ---
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 @user-1209 
 
 if I had to take a lesson from this, it'd be that it's better to host
 somewhere else and be boosted by someone on the larger, sleepy servers. it's
 not their fault they didn't set an alarm, so they have no way to know what
 time it is. plus for some reason they get upset if you wake them up when
 you're roommates?
 
 downside is, boosts only show up for followers, right? meaning you'll only be
 seen if you want to be seen, which means you gotta be roommates if you wanna
 be seen when they don't want to see. tricky tricky...
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--- #135 fediverse/5710 ---
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 society can be gamed in so many ways because it was designed to oppress you.
 
 a more connected solution would solve so many problems, and introduce vastly
 fewer more.
 
 for example. wanna disenfranchise someone? take away their vote by framing
 them for a crime. This is an example of population manipulation, and it's
 unethical in the extreme.
 
 downside is if you don't mother people they sort of forget how to breathe -.-
 
 dumb apes, who thought it was a good idea to be born without instincts? ah
 well let's raise them I guess, and try to keep the nazi cults on the
 diminished minimum.
 
 no-please-don't-walk-into-that-electric-pole it's made out of lightning juice
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--- #136 messages/665 ---
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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--- #137 notes/Of Vic and Vince Chapters 01-07.txt ---
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 Who is This Stranger I Know Too Well?
 
 
 Who are you, he who inspires me?
 
 
 You're a jewel of perfect symmetry.
 
 
 You taught me to love and be free;
 
 
 You taught me how to be like thee.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter One: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
 
 
 The bus went up outta Florida, leaving Miami behind as a distant memory. I
 still don't know if I miss it or if I'm suffering from some sadistic style of
 subtle Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless, I switched buses a number of times
 before I even hit the Georgia border, but having traveled this far down the
 line, it all feels like one long, long ride.
 
 
 For two days, I continued north until arriving in Virginia, where I
 effectively did a u-turn and traveled onwards to Tennessee, where Vince
 awaited me. I remember zoning out while looking out the window as the southern
 scenery whipped by in a blur, as I was enamored with the thought that I now
 would be living with my best friend and long-term handler. My mission was
 complete, it felt; I had done all that God wanted me to do and now I was being
 rewarded.
 
 
 When we finally arrived in Johnson City, where my friend told me to meet him,
 I hopped off the bus after thanking the driver, landing on the pavement of a
 new world. My stomach was doing loop-de-loops. Along with being excited, I was
 grateful to Vince for inviting me off the streets. But, my worrisome mind did
 a number on me as the rest of the crowd dispersed and he was still nowhere in
 sight.
 
 
 I lit a cigarette and thought of my options. Half of the cancer stick and a
 thousand tricky thoughts later, I came up with the idea to call the only phone
 number of his I had. Seems like the obvious answer, but I am an air head at
 times.
 
 
 Turned out it was the number for his home phone. His mom answered.
 
 
 "Hello?" came the sweet, Appalachian voice from the other end.
 
 
 "Hi," I started out, not sure what to say. "Is this Allison?"
 
 
 "Yes it is," Allison replied. "Is this by chance Victoria?"
 
 
 I confirmed, then asked, "Is Vince there?"
 
 
 She seemed surprised. "No, he left an hour ago to pick you up. He's not there
 yet?"
 
 
 I said no. I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse. On one hand,
 it confirmed that my friend Vince was real, which in hindsight was a silly
 thing to worry about, as I had met him once before at the first Shrug Life
 Syndicate gathering. Those were good memories. But, perhaps less silly, the
 absence of my friend spun my mind out and made me think that perhaps he had
 gotten in an accident…or worse.
 
 
 I worry a lot, less now than before, but it's part of being a traumatized,
 autistic, schizoaffective basketcase. I simply don't know what reality is, so
 every possibility could be true. Is an odd occurrence caused by the CIA,
 aliens, or perhaps God? Or is it just a coincidence, caused by a billion other
 factors? I never can tell.
 
 
 Sick joke: God gave me a good brain, but I can't even trust my own judgement.
 That means I think, then overthink, then overthink some more. As you'll no
 doubt hear, it's led to a lot of problems in my life, but Vince taught me to
 place my heart first, and that helps sort out much of the confusion. Satan
 can't trick you if you're listening to the direct communion to the big woman
 that we all have through that little beating organ in our chest.
 
 
 That was the furthest thing in my mind at that moment, though. Following old
 habits, I was entering panic mode. Was I now homeless again in a seventh city?
 Was my friend dead? Or was he really with the CIA and manipulating me? I tried
 doing some breathing exercises, but found that a more alluring technique to
 placate my triggered brain was finishing the rest of my cigarette in a fervor
 as I paced the length of the transit depot.
 
 
 Time ticked away one agonizing grain of sand after another, but after some
 mindful recalibration of my thoughts, I began relaxing. My brain might be a
 runaway train at times, but over the years I've learned to embrace the Shrug
 Life. That's a bit of philosophy our gaggle of weirdos adheres to. When life
 gives you lemons, just roll your shoulders and accept what is. Even though
 something tough and unpleasant might be rearing its head in front of me, I
 knew I had faced worse and come out on top. Worst case scenario, the road
 ahead of me was just a little bumpier than I had expected, and I could handle
 some bumps.
 
 
 So, I rode the roller-coaster of extreme moods that is common to me, gradually
 coming up with a contingency plan to survive if Vince had gotten flattened by
 a semi, until I learned that was a pointless exercise when I heard a familiar
 voice call out from behind me.
 
 
 "Hey, buddy!"
 
 
 I turned at once upon hearing those words. And lo and behold, there Vince was,
 walking towards me in a purple tie-dye t-shirt, paint-splattered cargo shorts,
 and fresh Chuck Taylors. His beard was fully grown but still shorter than
 mine, though it was as wild as his uncombed hair poking out from a hat that
 was as graffitied as his pants. I'll admit, it was a little bit of a shock
 seeing him like that, as I remember him being clean shaven at the gathering
 five years prior. However, that smile of his couldn't lie; this was the Vince
 I've loved for even longer. And I won't lie, he looked better with the beard.
 
 
 Without a second thought, I rushed up to my best friend, throwing my arms
 around him. He did the same, and our embrace felt like it lasted forever. It
 was good to finally be in his arms. We let go after about a quarter century of
 hugging, and when he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, I did a little
 giddy dance while giggling like a schoolgirl. Afterwards, we caught up while
 walking towards his mom's car, which he had parked around the corner.
 
 
 "Sorry I was late. I forgot where the bus station was, but I found and
 followed one of the short ones here. Your ride go alright?" he asked.
 
 
 I nodded, telling him I wore my mask the entire way up despite how itchy it
 was. He thanked me.
 
 
 "Thanks man, mom will really appreciate that. We're taking this covid thing
 real seriously. With mom being seventy-seven now and me finally reaching my
 forties, we aren't willing to take risks with these things."
 
 
 With that said, I thought of asking about the locals. "How many people go
 maskless around here?"
 
 
 "A lot," Vince answered with a hint of misfortune, knowing that I had just
 come from a vastly different world. I sighed. It would be an adjustment to get
 used to the rural Roan Mountain after spending most of my life in major
 cities.
 
 
 There was a pause as I thought about such things. I'm awkward like that. But
 then I asked, "How have you been doing?"
 
 
 He shrugged, as he tended to do. "I've been alright. It's just me and mom on
 the mountain now, so it's a little rough, but we've been handling it the best
 we can."
 
 
 I nodded in compassion. As much as I was grateful for a place to live, I was
 glad I could be here for him. If there's anything on this Earth that I know,
 it's being alone is hell on the soul.
 
 
 The conversation turned to what we were going to get into now that we were
 together after all the years talking back and forth with one another online. I
 asked, "What's the game plan?"
 
 
 He smirked as we reached Allison's new blue Ford Escape with the cosmic
 Bigfoot sticker on the back. "I got one, don't you worry."
 
 
 I believed him, as a warm feeling of butterflies fluttered across my belly.
 However, an odd, ominous feeling swept over me as I opened the passenger door,
 where I immediately spotted a large burn mark on the seat. Vince saw me see
 it.
 
 
 "Yea, I did that while I was smoking while robotripping. Mom was pissed. Don't
 worry about it."
 
 
 And so I didn't. It was just a cigarette burn. Could have happened to anyone.
 I didn't even have to see it after I hopped in the car, ready and eager to get
 to my first permanent home in over three years.
 
 
 I looked over at my friend climbing behind the wheel, and I saw he was smiling
 wide with glee. Vince was happy; that meant I was happy. And that's what
 mattered as we started a new life together.
 
 
 
 
 Following the Path
 
 
 Where are we going?
 
 
 What are we sowing?
 
 
 I certainly hope it's a better world for all.
 
 
 But, many more people must stand tall,
 
 
 By dutifully growing
 
 
 A wealth of loving.
 
 
 That is the true nature of our mortal trial,
 
 
 So let us stand together and not crawl.
 
 
 Yet, we are all showing
 
 
 Some signs of slowing.
 
 
 Therefore, I must pray that we do not fall,
 
 
 When the two of us hear our creator's call.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Two: On the Road
 
 
 We were about five minutes out of Johnson City on our way east towards the
 North Carolina border when Vince finally folded and told me his secret plan he
 had been boasting about for a month now.
 
 
 "We got this trashed camper down by the old house that we can strip away and
 sell as scrap metal. That should give us enough money to fix Jane and then we
 should be set at getting our own place."
 
 
 I nodded along, agreeing with his reasoning. That jeep of his definitely was
 in need of some desperate repair the last time we were together. That was
 actually the first time I ever saw him in person; he was parked at the top of
 his long driveway with headlights cutting through the darkness as we arrived
 for the first and only Shrug Life Syndicate gathering I've managed to attend.
 I remember that we arrived exactly at midnight, not a minute sooner or later,
 which made the moment highly synchronous.
 
 
 Memories that far away seem to all blur together so everything feels like it
 happened in one day, but the first Shrug Life Syndicate gathering lasted four
 days, if you include the trip down and back. My girlfriend at the time, Amy,
 and I were picked up in New York at her mother's house by another one of the
 founders of our little online community. His name was [Redacted] and he was a
 Canadian that dabbled in the cognitive sciences. Like Vince, he had been a
 huge influence on me, but sadly that friendship fell apart as [Redacted] grew
 disenfranchised with the SLS, most in particular with Vince himself, as there
 were some personal disputes about Vince's dating life and drug of choice,
 which compounded the push back of Vince wanting to turn our community into an
 educational nonprofit. I can't speak of the former as I was devoid of internet
 when the big schism happened, but I was all for doing something more with the
 talent we collectively share. I'm sure that is part of the reason Vince
 invited me to stay with him; we recognized the potential of each other to
 shape the world into a better place.
 
 
 That's not what Vince said though. As we approached the edge of Elizabethton,
 he looked over at me and spoke with the tender kindness of a man with a big
 heart.
 
 
 "I'm glad you came here, man. I just couldn't stand to let my best bud live
 another night outside. You know I've been there too, so I just want you to
 know that our home is your home from now on."
 
 
 Feeling moved, I replied, "Thanks. I don't know what to say. I'm just
 grateful."
 
 
 He put his hand on my shoulder as a brother would. We then rode in silence for
 a minute or two, which allowed me to reflect on my past behavior during the
 first gathering. Not only had I clogged the toilet and told no one, but I had
 a few emotional outbursts as I was a mess back then. That's one of the reasons
 that I believe homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to
 me. It pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to
 change for the better.
 
 
 That was great because I was impulsive and dangling precariously from the
 heights of my oversized ego. I think that was a critical part of my
 transformation. Sleeping in piss-stained, cockroach infested storefronts
 humbled me, and I realized that everybody is just trying to swim in the
 direction they feel is best. Thus, radical acceptance is a moral imperative.
 Vince taught me that. I've profited immensely in ways other than financial
 wealth by embracing such values, but I wish more people could see this truth.
 Alas, tis the blind leading the blind.
 
 
 With that in mind, as we continued onwards to our now-conjoined future, we
 passed through the back roads of Elizabethton through a route known as Gap's
 Creek, which proved to be a winding set of backroads with more churches than
 seemed reasonable. One of these cultural staples had a big electronic
 billboard out front, sharing the times of services and other announcements;
 none of which you could actually read as you drove by at the speed limit.
 Still, when we reached the intersection with highway 19E, there was a woman
 flying a sign, asking for money. Since this town seemed devoid of any
 institutions to help the poor, I rolled my window down and handed her a fiver.
 I knew what it was like being up shit creek without a paddle, so I wanted to
 alleviate some of that stress for somebody else.
 
 
 I begged a lot at the beginning of my homeless journey. I didn't know how to
 survive, as I had not been raised with many good life lessons to help me stay
 afloat on my own. That in itself is part of the reason I had a major breakdown
 in college. It was undeniably true that I was maladapted to the world. My
 experiences with Earth Nation are also indisputably built from that
 maladaptation. Yet, those years of homelessness after escaping that new age
 cult allowed me to grow into a sustainable, productive woman with my juggling,
 performance arts, and writing.
 
 
 They say you can give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but if you teach
 a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. That's part of the reason I was and
 still am a huge proponent of education in all its forms. I knew Vince felt the
 same way, but perhaps for different reasons. As a secular Buddhist and radical
 antistyle artist, he was a minority in the deep interior of the Bible Belt,
 and that came with a price while he was growing up. It might be a beautiful
 area, but neither of us would ever raise a kid here.
 
 
 It was then when it hit me. I couldn't be Victoria here. I had to be Vic.
 Which was fine, that's how the gang members in Miami Beach referred to me. I
 was able to accept being called by masculine names and pronouns. I had long
 passed through the self-loathing phase of having dysphoria, to arrive in a
 position where I openly grow my beard out to prove that I don't need to look
 any particular way to be happy. I don't care what other people think of me,
 but I haven't always been this enlightened. To put it lightly, I've been
 through some trials. And, having done so, I can say that people who judge
 other people on superficial things are the worst. But, we can rise above by
 continuing to align with our hearts.
 
 
 Less than a tenth of a mile down 19E, Vince asked me, "Hey man, can you buy
 me, like, a forty or something?"
 
 
 Of course I said yes. I knew his schizophrenia had put him out of work for
 many years, so I wanted to soothe him as he was able to soothe my pain from
 being homeless. He pulled into a gas station I would later learn is
 colloquially called Captain Jack's. It had the cheapest gas this side of
 Elizabethton, and was a reliable place to get beer or a pipe of any variety.
 
 
 With compassion in my heart, I got Vince what he wanted, while getting myself
 something as well. Still, when he cracked his beer open while accelerating to
 sixty miles an hour, I couldn't help but feel distraught at such brazen
 self-indulgence. But, all I did about it was pop open the hard iced tea I
 picked up for myself. At least passengers are allowed to drink while they are
 being driven somewhere in Tennessee, Vince tells me.
 
 
 
 
 A Home at Last
 
 
 They say home is where the heart is,
 
 
 Which is great now that I have a new one.
 
 
 The damaged needle of my crazy compass
 
 
 Spins in every direction under the sun,
 
 
 But, here it stands still, still as can be,
 
 
 So my quest is over; I am finally free!
 
 
 I have a home in the love you give
 
 
 And by reflecting that in me, we live
 
 
 In a state where conflict has come to pass;
 
 
 It is like there was a great lottery and I won.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Three: The Mountain Side
 
 
 About ten minutes later we reached the western half of Roan Mountain, where we
 were greeted by a big sign praising the annual Rhododendron Festival at the
 end of June. Having already downed half his forty, Vince spared no time in
 showing me the highlights of his home town.
 
 
 "Look under this bridge coming up. You'll see it underneath. The red and the
 gold." He pointed directly at a graffiti tag on the concrete column near the
 riverfront. There was an enigma of a symbol I've seen Vince post on the SLS
 before.
 
 
 "That your tag?" I asked the obvious question. 
 
 
 "Yup," he replied, gulping down another swallow of his forty, as there was no
 incoming traffic. "Protip: don't post your tags on Facebook if you plan to hit
 a cop car around here." I thought at first he meant literally running into
 their vehicle, but then it dawned on me what he meant. I had never done any
 real graffiti before; just some words and simple drawings in chalk that came
 right off. Never got in trouble for it, at least.
 
 
 I remember passing the post office some time shortly afterward. There was a
 park with a stage behind it. Allison would organize the summer's music events
 that went on each Saturday from May to August. Additionally, she would host
 one of her weekly jam sessions there for local musicians to play together for
 a few hours at a time, just for fun.
 
 
 There were some houses on the left, too, as we were entering the more dense
 center of Roan Mountain. Yet, Vince told me that the other side, where the
 park was, used to be full of trailers, but they got washed away during a flood
 some years ago. I later learned from Allison that most of the town, including
 her as she was out and about, had to evacuate to the elementary school where
 she provided extra clothes for those in need from her suitcase, but Vince and
 his father were fine at the top of the mountain that their property sat on.
 
 
 Puerto Nuevo, the best and only Mexican restaurant in town, whipped by soon
 after. We then passed one of the two gas stations in Roan Mountain, a
 Scotchman. There was a bank and a credit union on the left, too. An empty
 grocery store zoomed by next, which might as well be haunted for all I know.
 
 
 Next up on the left was a food truck that has since been upgraded to a small
 building with picnic tables and some cover from the sun and weather. I think
 it is a good place to eat. It also marked the spot of the Roan Mountain flea
 market, where you could see one or two people at a time selling their stuff in
 the warmer months. Then, immediately after that stood a pharmacy in an old
 farmhouse.
 
 
 There was some construction on the right, which by its future signage, I
 erroneously thought was some sort of massage parlor that sat on stilts,
 requiring everybody to walk up a story of steps just to get inside. Odd
 choice, I thought. But, on a whim one day, Vince stopped there to see if they
 sold cheap kratom, which was when I would learn that it was really a health
 food store.
 
 
 Not too far down the traffic-light free main strip of the town, we passed the
 future beer store on the right. It was convenient for Sundays, because that's
 when a local ordinance in our neighboring North Carolinian town, Elk Park,
 restricts the sale of alcohol on the sabbath, but ultimately the alcohol taxes
 in Tennessee are too high to make it a cheap endeavor.
 
 
 To contrast the beer store, the local cemetery sat across the street on a
 hill. I like graveyards, as I'm a bit of a goth at heart, but even so, the
 packed parking lot of the Redimart grocery store was what caught the bulk of
 my attention. I craned my neck to see some of the locals to uncover just what
 passed as acceptable culture here in this quaint mountain town.
 
 
 Further up, the infamous Bob's Dairyland with the slowest drive-through known
 to man stood tall with its vast history. There's a reason it's always packed
 after church lets out on Sundays. Yet, I still don't understand why their sign
 promotes pinto beans, of all things. I've been told it's a hot ticket item in
 the area, but I have still not witnessed anyone order them. But, moving on, I
 have to mention that there was also an auto part shop conjoined with an auto
 repair shop that had over a dozen cars just sitting outside it.
 
 
 Next to Bob's was the second gas station, a Valero, which also housed a
 much-frequented Subway. One of three thrift stores in town stood innocently
 next to the gas station. On the right was a steakhouse that I have never had
 the cash to justify splurging at, and a beauty salon in the same building that
 I also have never visited because I'm not one to care for looking like a doll.
 I am beautiful as I am.
 
 
 The town was really shaping up to be a unique combination of the bare bones
 mixed with an abundance of what you needed. Then we reached a stretch where
 two signs sat. The one for Cloudland Highschool triggered Vince into speaking.
 "Fucking assholes. I told you about how they illegally expelled me, right?" I
 nodded in confirmation. He continued: "Yea, they literally stole my book of
 poetry and took photocopies of it, so they could use it to kick me out,
 because I was the 'weird' kid."
 
 
 I knew that, but seeing the innocent sign next to the one for Smoky Mountain
 Bakers made the story appear more real. Here they were, these conservative
 administrators, probably constituting some of the people who attended the
 dozens of churches in town, which should teach everybody to love thy neighbor,
 but obviously they were too preoccupied by the need to hate my friend because,
 back then, he was the blue-haired son of the "hippie couple" in town, who
 happened to like bands like Marilyn Manson and Korn.
 
 
 That made me wonder how well I would fit in here. I had long since forsaken
 transitioning because I was effectively a sasquatch, but I was still a woman
 on the inside. I was sure that being transgender, combined with my eccentric
 nature and often extreme opinions on things would cement me as the new weirdo
 in town. But, if I am to be honest, that would be the case in most settings I
 could plant myself in.
 
 
 Those thoughts fluttered in my head as we sped past the electrical co-op, a
 second thrift store, Plumber's Pro Hardware, the Roan Mountain emergency
 dispatch center, and what was apparently a flooring depot before reaching the
 elementary school that sat across from the Dollar General, which Vince called
 the "SmallMart." I'm aware there's some things I missed, as there's plenty of
 buildings with no description or sign out front, but I'm sure they're
 important to somebody.
 
 
 We then started slowing down as we approached the only veterinarian's office
 for quite a ways in any direction. We turned left just before the red-roofed
 building which had a small cat statue perched on the edge looking out with its
 paw up. Vince took this as a sign to begin downing the rest of his beverage.
 
 
 "Welcome to home, Buck Mountain," Vince said as we started climbing in
 altitude. "This is the bad side of town. You'll never see a cop here unless
 something big is going down, which hasn't happened in years." He finished his
 forty in one big chug as his hands ran on autopilot. "It's good because you
 can do pretty much anything up here any time you want."
 
 
 I knew all that, as we had a blast getting drunk and smoking some green for a
 few days in a row during the first gathering. In truth, I anticipated I would
 be doing that for the next few days as well, to settle in, y'know? Hell, I
 half expected that I was in heaven now after spending so much time in the
 purgatory that is homelessness, regardless of how much fun I had in Miami
 Beach preceding Vince's invitation to come north.
 
 
 We went to the very tippy top of Buck Mountain, where the foliage is dense, no
 cell signal can reach, and the local kids ride their dirt bikes at all hours
 of the day. As we pulled in the driveway, I expected to keep going straight on
 the tire-carved path back down the mountain. But, to my surprise, I found that
 the same trailer we had partied in down the road during the gathering was now
 relocated here to become my new home. I wasn't expecting that, as when I was
 here last, they all lived in a small shack at the base of their nineteen acres
 of mountain real estate.
 
 
 It didn't look like much, with weather-worn imitation wood paneling wrapping
 the rectangular structure in a loose hug, but it was a place to rest my head
 in the comfort of loved ones. Aptly, Allison's last name meant "the home" in a
 language the CIA once tried to make me learn, which is a statement that I'm
 sure earns me a few raised eyebrows. My story has many twists and turns, but
 for now you should know my studies of strategic languages ended only when the
 cult that hooked me like an unsuspecting bass managed to gaslight, manipulate,
 and shame me to get me to work for them sixty-to-ninety hours a week on
 average. I would later try to pick the linguistic challenge back up years
 later during my time spent homeless, but my progress was like a Jenga tower
 that half collapsed. I forgot basic words, and I just feel like I have
 failed.
 
 
 That's something that should be looked at in finer detail; my feelings of
 failure, I mean. So, let's take the first of many breaks from linear
 storytelling to express how life can feel at times for me. Like a shattered
 mirror, I reflect many different parts of the past at different times. Some
 days I may live in several sections of my turbulent past all at the same time.
 Disorienting, it can feel like I don't know what's real. It takes a lot to
 break something so thoroughly, but as you'll see, I've been a punching bag for
 the devious spirit of fate. Couldn't keep me down, though, because I am like
 the phoenix; always rising no matter how badly beaten in battle I've become.
 
 
 
 
 Mommy
 
 
 Mommy is what I used to call you,
 
 
 When I was a kid so long ago.
 
 
 It's because of your love that I grew
 
 
 To always let my kindness show.
 
 
 Mommy, you were always getting sick.
 
 
 To help you out, I would try to keep clean.
 
 
 As much as I'd scrub I never got the trick,
 
 
 Because you'd still be plagued by the unseen.
 
 
 Mommy, you were supposed to grow old!
 
 
 Having you leave us like that hurt like hell.
 
 
 I'm sorry for not always doing what I was told;
 
 
 It's because I failed you that I try to do well.
 
 
 Mommy was what you called out at the end.
 
 
 I tried to help you but I wasn't good enough.
 
 
 You were dying, so on me you had to depend,
 
 
 But even being there for you was too tough.
 
 
 Mommy, if I could do it all over again I would.
 
 
 It's not fair to you that I was such a bad son.
 
 
 I'll give you all my love and more as I should;
 
 
 For you, I promise that one day I'll be the sun.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Four: Scarred from Birth
 
 
 Having let you in to a little bit of what makes me tick, it should be noted
 that feeling like an abysmal failure is a key part of my mental health. Those
 loathsome seeds of self-mutilating ruination are planted deep in my psyche.
 Prepare for a sad story, if you're the type to really feel another person's
 soul.
 
 
 See, it all started when my mom found out she had AIDS a mere two months after
 I was born. It was God's way of welcoming me to the world. I forgive the big
 woman now, for my path on this Earth has been the ultimate journey of
 awakening to my divine spirit, but before Vince and many faceless actors sent
 me on my mission of healing, I held much scorn in my heart. For a large chunk
 of my early years that I was here, alive, learning, and suffering as a human
 being, I was hell-bent on the idea of revenge. That was once a big part of my
 story, too, but no more.
 
 
 It's understandable, at least. Imagine having to witness all the manner of
 disease ravaging my mother like it did; I grew up thinking that I was born to
 be punished. My earliest delusions had me caught up in the notion that I was a
 worthless god who had the rest of the pantheon turn on them from before I even
 had a chance to prove myself. I had a whole mythos where I had been tricked to
 kill my sister, the goddess of harmony, and my punishment was to stay locked
 to this awful planet until I found her soul once again. Then, we'd go on to
 take over the world, as I had fallen under the notion that my future self was
 sending me subliminal messages through synchronicities, although I didn't know
 that word then, so I thought I just had special powers.
 
 
 This is all a natural result of magickal thinking gone awry. Such is the fate
 for those scarred in childhood as I was. My innocence flayed alive, I watched
 as the woman who loved me with all her heart died for the first nine years of
 my life. It was a slow rot. There are many memories of her being in the
 hospital or as she lingered in pain at home that flash to the front of my mind
 that could paint you a tragic picture of those unforgettable scenes I was
 forcibly cast in, but the real horror that plagues me came at the bitter end.
 
 
 For the last of her months that she was allowed to live, my mom was
 mercilessly struck by an opportunistic ear infection. It killed half of her
 face, and only progressed into a hellishly rapid descent of her cognitive
 functions until one sudden day I came home from school to find she had
 regressed to a child-like state with my grandma tending to her in tears. I
 tried losing myself in my homework, but the threat in my environment promising
 my mother's pain was all-consuming. Then it got worse.
 
 
 My father never got along with my grandma, so when he got home, he forcibly
 kicked her out. A fight broke out, resulting in my grandmother coming to my
 room to say goodbye, where she told me with eyes watering that whatever
 happens, we would get through it. My dad would come in after my grandma left
 and put her down, more concerned that she scratched him. All I could think
 about was my mom, who was now tearing up and asking about where her mom went.
 
 
 That was the worst. I can still hear clearly how she cried out for her mom
 nonstop for the whole night. That was her last night she spent at home. She
 died within a week. And my last memory of her that isn't of her in a coma is
 of her trying to escape from the hospital with a dinner plate sized bed sore
 on her backside that danced from behind an open hospital gown in order to
 imprint itself in my mind forever.
 
 
 Here come the tears. It still hits me that my fucking mom died, like I still
 can't believe it's real. My last memories are of her being naked, crying like
 a baby. I felt so helpless. But, at least she had nurses helping her when we
 got her to the emergency room. Just hours earlier, I was left on my own trying
 to calm her troubled, addled mind. My dad had been doing just that, as my mom
 would get in fits every half hour or so, where he would comfort her, then come
 into my room to vent after she quieted down. I had no one to open my fears and
 pain to. Wishing I had a sibling to hold and cry together with, I faced my
 most scarring memory alone.
 
 
 The worst wounds of my life were suffered because there was one time after
 midnight where my dad disappeared. Maybe he was smoking, but regardless, I
 couldn't find where he went as I scrambled over the whole house in my fuzzy
 purple pajamas looking for him. Meanwhile, my mother incessantly yelled for
 her own mommy. So, with much hesitancy, I succumbed to the responsibility of
 helping my afflicted parent, and I anxiously marched into her room and tried
 to comfort her the best I knew how.
 
 
 I'll save you from the daunting process of assisting my mom, but I will say
 that it wasn't enough. No matter what I tried to do, she kept screaming
 louder. I was worthless in that moment and was on the verge of a meltdown
 because I couldn't help her. It felt like I was the worst son in the world,
 all because I failed my mother as she circled the drain. Now I feel like the
 worst daughter, but it's getting easier to love myself and think that my mom
 is looking down and smiling, being proud of me.
 
 
 I have a lot to live up to. She wasn't perfect, I know that, but my mom was an
 angel for me. Yet, I can't even remember the good times I spent with her; all
 that my hippocampus hung onto were the most traumatizing of memories. A
 notable cause of this was her fierce Sicilian temper. A vision of being
 brought to tears because I dared go looking for my six-year birthday presents
 early is playing in my head at this moment. Now one is summoned of her ripping
 into me for booing someone at an assembly because I wanted to be like a
 character I saw in a cartoon. Finally, one of my earliest memories from
 preschool is trapped in my cranium; it regards me accidentally tearing a hole
 in a kid's shirt and dreading my mother finding out for the rest of the day.
 
 
 In short, I got in trouble a lot, but I know that both my parents cared about
 me growing up right. Along with all the punishments, there was a genuine
 heartfelt desire to get me and my different brain to develop into a successful
 combo of kindness and good citizenry. Still, because of how trauma inserts
 itself into one's inner reality, I really feel like my entire childhood was
 one screw up after another in regards to my mother. Although, my dad
 contributed his fair share of ruthless discipline to make me perpetually feel
 like I was always in the wrong as well.
 
 
 And I know that's all a fallible perception, because I can distinctly remember
 the look on both my parents' faces when I won first prize in our school's
 science fair; if you're curious, I did an experiment on taste and smell to
 understand what was going on with my mom and her ear infection. That standing,
 my mom's face is cemented in memory in particular, perhaps too well, actually,
 because she just had the stitches removed from her eye. Such happiness danced
 in her left eye, but next to it sat its unmoving, dead counterpart. She tried
 to joke about it being her evil eye, but that didn't stop fourth grade
 Victoria from being terrified of the harsh reality unfolding in front of her.
 
 
 I dreamed of her a lot after she passed. Always in pain, or worse, possessed
 by some demon and seeking to bring me pain. There's one nightmare in
 particular that stands out. I forget how it started, but it ended in the
 cemetery where she is buried. Well, her coffin was exhumed, and as I got
 closer, it slammed open and my mom sat up. Only it wasn't my mom. She was
 rotten like a zombie and had malevolence bursting from behind her undead eyes.
 I did the only thing I could; I ran. But, she followed and in the utmost
 haunting voice, she yelled in pursuit, "You can't escape me, Victoria! I am
 your mother and together we are bound forever." Fitting as a metaphor for how
 my grief still hasn't dissipated more than twenty years down the line.
 
 
 I'm sorry, I just miss her. Best damn mom in the world, going above and beyond
 what she needed to do to give me the best chance at success in life, despite
 being on her literal death bed for most of her last years. I don't even know
 her, not really as an adult knows someone, which in itself leads to more
 feelings of failure. She has been transmuted into an archetype of a hero in my
 eyes, and I feel that I can never be as strong as that woman who was my first
 love.
 
 
 I can try though. I always try. Part of being hyper-vigilant, I reckon.
 Perhaps that makes me strong. Perhaps it makes me a fool. Or maybe it just
 means I'm human and going to have virtues as well as flaws. It's taken me a
 long while to escape the black and white thinking that trapped me in a world
 where I either felt like the epitome of the second coming or compounded as the
 most useless, subhuman mutant on the planet. Those were truly hard times,
 being locked in the halls of my mind like a prison.
 
 
 But…the past is the past and we best not linger on it, because even now,
 years later, I felt welcomed by a second family, and for that I am eternally
 grateful. I vowed to return their love to them in spades, because that's what
 my mom always tried to teach me. Being neurodivergent, I didn't always get the
 message, but because I threw myself at the lessons life threw at me, I learned
 to cherish those people who enter my life. You never know what you have until
 you lose it. And I wasn't planning on losing Vince.
 
 
 
 
 All You Need
 
 
 Once you live on the street
 
 
 You grow on the concrete.
 
 
 Having done so myself
 
 
 I can claim that wealth
 
 
 Is just a fancy illusion.
 
 
 You say that's a delusion,
 
 
 But look how I'm happy
 
 
 With only what you see.
 
 
 I don't need a fancy bed
 
 
 In order to rest my head;
 
 
 Instead, I'm in the know
 
 
 That less is the way to go.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Five: A Real Home
 
 
 Allison greeted us at the door with a wide, warm smile, but she wasn't the
 only one to do so. Vince's greying black lab, Freya, adorned in a pretty
 lavender bandana, came up to smell this new person in her domain. She must
 have recognized my scent from years ago because she didn't bark at all,
 instead choosing to snaffle all over me while wagging her tail vigorously. Of
 course, I started petting her immediately, as I began to take in my
 surroundings.
 
 
 I could only remember seeing the interior of the trailer in the pitch
 blackness of the starry mountain night, but I remembered the general layout:
 doors to the outside in the kitchen and living room, which were separated by a
 long counter where the kitchen sink sat, and then bedrooms branching off from
 each end, both of which had a bathroom accompanying them. Yet, I did not
 recall that this space was as run-down as the exterior, with chunks of the
 linoleum floor missing and rotting wood at the rear door, not to mention a
 steady helping of cobwebs latching onto the ceiling fixtures.
 
 
 Yet, despite the condition the trailer was in, it still had a touch of love
 sprinkled throughout it. There were five paintings in the living room, one
 done by Allison herself, as well as one around the corner near her loom that
 took up half the kitchen space. More were in Allison's room to the right of
 the entrance. On the opposite side of the house by the windows sat Allison's
 battle station, where she would play solitaire and check Facebook and her
 email religiously while sitting in an old navy blue wheelchair that used to be
 for Vince's father. There was a couch and a couple tables full of stuff
 stacked on them, to include a silver urn that sat on its own table with a vase
 of local flowers. With the three of us, plus Freya and the trio of feral cats
 that tamed themselves to come in and eat, respectively named Libertas, Biggie
 Meows, and Spot, this little dwelling was a tight fit, but it was cozy in a
 way that I had not known family life to be growing up.
 
 
 In the process of greeting me, Allison asked, "What have you been up to while
 you were down in Miami Beach?"
 
 
 I didn't want to tell her everything, but I told her the truth. "I wrote a
 lot, mainly in the park on Ocean Drive, or where I slept on Lincoln Road,
 unless I was spending time in North Beach which had better food options for me
 with my limited resources. Mostly, I just tried to survive each day, putting
 distractions between me and the day-to-day struggles of being out there like
 that."
 
 
 She smiled. "Well, we're glad to have you. Vince talks about you a lot." I
 blushed a little bit at that, but I'm sure neither of them saw my rosy cheeks
 through the gnarled barb that constituted my ever-growing beard.
 
 
 Allison then moved on to practical matters. "So, where do you want to sleep?
 We have the couch, which would be where I would set up shop, but you can
 always sleep in Vince's room if you prefer."
 
 
 I looked at the couch. It seemed comfy enough, but I didn't care about
 comfort. As much as I knew Vince was doing me a solid by letting me stay here,
 I knew I was going to help him too. His posts on the SLS combined with his
 frequent messages to me were made out of desperation; he was clearly strung
 out and looking for any human contact whatsoever.
 
 
 Since his schizophrenia started interfering with his life, he had spent six
 years at the top of this mountain and he said he was going stir crazy. I would
 learn that there's little to do here but drink, do some drugs, and fiddle
 about on your computer and phone while dealing with the internet that is made
 out of sticks and stones, and that could get boring fast. Devoted to this new
 cause, I wasn't going to let my best friend suffer anymore. I was going to
 make his life better by livening up the long days by being his constant
 companion.
 
 
 As a result, I told Allison that I would find a spot in Vince's room to rest
 my head. She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded affirmingly with an eager
 grin. I had made up my mind.
 
 
 Some more hem-hawing back and forth with Allison about general questions and
 concerns followed, but when we were finished, Vince took me to his room, which
 was beyond the rolling metal desk Allison used for her computer. A busted door
 clung to its hinges, but it didn't block our way.
 
 
 Calling Vince's room a mess would be an insult to messes everywhere. He had
 said that he would clean it up prior to my arrival, but there were likely two
 hundred beer cans stacked in mountains next to his bed, or in beer-amids as he
 called them. I looked around, honestly impressed at how dedicated to creating
 a disaster zone as he was.
 
 
 Looking over the permanent staples of the room, he had a television and an
 Xbox, an empty dresser, a filthy nightstand, and a bed without any sheets. He
 also had a handful of paintings, most of which were stacked together by the
 door, but there was a trippy painting of Vince's father on the west wall above
 the dresser, as well as an expressionist painting from the sixties behind the
 television which sat on the north wall, in between the bathroom and the
 closet. There was also a picture of a moth on a skull tacked to the wall,
 which gave me the heebie jeebies.
 
 
 It was then that I saw it. A large, two-hundred fifty tablet bottle of generic
 Dollar General antihistamines, pure diphenhydramine, sat on his dresser, just
 spiting me with its presence. I almost asked right then and there for Vince to
 get rid of the damn thing. I knew if I found an opportunity to down, say,
 six-hundred milligrams of that accursed stuff, I would. Then I would do
 terrible, awful, deplorable things to myself. But shame won out. I didn't want
 to let him know of my problem. Maybe I could control myself. So I shut up and
 about-faced out of the room.
 
 
 While doing box breathing, I dropped my backpack that contained all of my
 possessions on the couch in the living room, and helped Vince grab some
 fifty-five gallon black trash bags in the kitchen. We made quick work of the
 unending hoard of Natty Daddy cans, as well as the nightstand full of
 cigarette butts. We then moved his bed so it was against the south wall.
 
 
 It hadn't taken long, but the room was looking presentable. It didn't need to
 be a five-star hotel, because I had the most important thing of all: family. I
 felt more than welcomed as a guest. I was one with these people who had so
 graciously let me into their home. We were going to all be happy together.
 That was the goal, at least.
 
 
 
 
 I Forgive You
 
 
 I forgive you, but I can never forget.
 
 
 I'm sorry if I make you look like shit,
 
 
 But your heavy hand and sharp wit
 
 
 Damaged me greatly; then you gaslit
 
 
 Me, denying everything, and I quit
 
 
 Knowing what was real. I even slit
 
 
 My flesh open so that I could get
 
 
 A sense of what I could feel. So, I sit
 
 
 Here now explaining why I wasn't fit
 
 
 To handle this world that I saw as a pit
 
 
 That I escaped only when God had lit
 
 
 A beacon of light with some magick.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Six: Growing Up With Family
 
 
 There was still one task we had to get done before I could claim a spot to be
 my bedspace. Vince had more clothes than he knew what to do with, most of
 which had spray paint spackled all over them in no particular form or pattern;
 the style of the antistyle artist. As we moved the rolling hills of clothing
 into the dresser and a heaping pile beside it, I came to understand why Vince
 called himself a diva.
 
 
 I remember having a lot of clothes just a few years prior. Even though I
 didn't care what I wore, I had earned so many free T-shirts over the years
 from track meets and other races. I had so much when I needed so little.
 That's one major reason I forgive my dad for kicking me out of his house,
 because it was the best thing for me. Not only that, but I deserved it. I was
 a wreck of a human being before I got abruptly humbled by my odyssey on the
 streets. The extended experience changed me so I am no longer as much of an
 emotionally volatile basketcase.
 
 
 To put it mildly, being an unstable problem of a person was the reason I was
 kicked out in the first place. I had always been sort of bipolar since middle
 school. But, after escaping the cult, breaking up with my girlfriend, Amy, and
 returning home a failure, my heart and mind were like a pile of fragmented
 ceramic shards mockingly showing what a real piece of pottery my mind could
 have been. Unshockingly, I was barely holding it together. I was having
 outbursts frequently, but they weren't ungodly terrible, as I was being guided
 by higher dimensional life forms through inputs on my laptop, and that gave me
 a sense of ease.
 
 
 In fact, I remember a great reprieve of my stress occurred on an acid trip in
 the first month I was back. It felt like God Herself was setting up a lesson
 for me, which started with me literally waking up to a picture of a white
 rabbit taunting me on my Facebook feed, which I followed, and in doing so, I
 received personalized inputs that unveiled the blinders from in front of my
 eyes. In but a few hours after a lifetime of denial, it all clicked with me
 that I had a warm, nurturing side that I had neglected for most of my life.
 That was the first time I accepted that I was a woman. And that's still not
 the most profound, life-altering acid trip I've had.
 
 
 Even so, I would break down crying that afternoon as I meditated under the
 tree in the backyard where I used to swing. With no more effort than it took
 to breathe, I saw all the parts of me that Amy tried to teach me about, but I
 was unable to comprehend in my denial. Likewise, the waterworks were called
 upon that night as I told my dad about my revelation, and he said he would
 always love me no matter what. That was the most affectionate heart to heart
 with him I think I've ever had, even if he did ramble about random things
 being at a loss of what to say to me, as we had functionally lived in two
 separate worlds inside the same house for years.
 
 
 This sentiment would flip on its head though, as I blogged about my gender
 revelations and my dad found them and read I had taken a narcotic in his
 house. Naturally, he was pissed and wouldn't hear that the tender moment we
 shared that night was only possible because I had taken the sacrament. This
 would prove to be the kicking off point to some logarithmic growth in tensions
 between the two of us.
 
 
 Then, on that fateful day, one of the countless pets my dad kept, a black,
 stubborn minipig named Harley, had made a literal pigsty of the house after I
 had a bad session at my therapist's, who made me feel like a piece of shit. I
 wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going to just lay down and get called a terrible
 person because of how I behaved in treatment years ago, when I was still very
 lost. It triggered my feelings of failure, which rippled into waves of
 unstable emotional dysregulation. In my explosive rage, I broke the microwave
 and put a basketball-sized hole in the wall behind my makeshift bed in the
 attic that I was allotted after they gave my brother my room when I was in the
 cult.
 
 
 Well, my father came home after a long day at work, saw the microwave, and had
 enough of me. He came thumping up the stairs, livid, ready to rip me to shreds
 verbally, when he saw the hole I had made. Beside himself, he demanded I get
 out right then and there. I broke down crying and begged him to let me stay,
 grappling with his leg as a wounded bear might wrap itself around the base of
 a small tree looking for any shelter it can find in a storm.
 
 
 That just made him madder. He kicked me off, and accused me of a thousand
 things. The ones that stuck were that I was just like my mother and that I was
 beyond anyone's help. As it happened in a heated flash, I don't remember
 exactly how the exchange was put together, but it ended with me asking him how
 all the hand-crafted trinkets and doodads my mother made for me before she
 died had gotten destroyed and thrown away. What he said next drove me mad.
 
 
 "I'm still pissed that you made me do that."
 
 
 I'll illuminate you with the scenario in question. I was eleven, and my
 stepmom at the time was away at a darts tournament. I think my dad somehow got
 the idea that she was doing drugs and cheating on him. I don't know, I was
 eleven. I just remember some of the things he said over the phone, and then
 what was said when they divorced when I was a couple of years later.
 
 
 Over my stepmom's absence, he got continuously more pissy, like he did the
 year before when the sewage line broke and he snapped while cleaning it up,
 smashing my head into the kitchen floor several times,  relenting only when
 his girlfriend at the time called to hang out. Now seeing the same pattern in
 my father, I was on edge, especially after I put my feet up on the new couch
 and he grabbed my leg and punched me in the tibia as hard as he could. I kept
 trying to do everything right to avoid being attacked again, but alas, in my
 anxious worry, I forgot to take out the kitchen garbage on trash night.
 
 
 That triggered a whole day of what might not be considered torture, but
 certainly was child abuse, which started as he cleared the shelves of all my
 memories in a violent, thrashing rage. He would bag up the shattered remains
 so he could take them to the dump, but only after he laid his hands on me.
 
 
 My head was used as a battering ram against my door, which my dad would later
 deny was where the big dents came from in a bout of the worst gaslighting I
 experienced before the cult got their hands on me. Regardless, when he
 finished and slammed me back on the wood floor, I instinctively reached out
 and grabbed his wrist. He growled, "Don't resist or I'll make it worse."
 
 
 Feeling my spirit collapse, I helplessly accepted the next phase of punishment
 that then ensued. Mostly, it consisted of him using my head to pound the
 knowledge that I fucked up into my brain, with much hair pulling and getting
 tossed to new locations, once being told to lay there like a dog in the wet
 remnants of a broken snow globe while he went for a smoke break. Thankfully,
 or maybe not, depending on your perspective, he never struck me. He was too
 smart to leave bruises.
 
 
 After much of that series of traumatizing instances, he had me sit still and
 think of an apology for him for hours on end. While I was busy doing that, he
 would then have an epiphany, telling me that I should stand, as I didn't
 deserve to sit. I didn't care about such details at the time. I was in shock,
 petrified that he would go ahead and find the homework I failed to finish or
 the porn I had taken from my stepmom. Fearing unimaginable doom, I stared
 unwaveringly at the letter "E" on the spine of a book on my bookshelf. Never
 relenting in his anger, he would come by every hour or so and ask for an
 apology. Everything I said wasn't good enough, and each attempt earned me
 scathing criticism, but I kept trying to perfect my apology. I still remember
 the gist of it.
 
 
 "I sorry dad, I deserve everything. I'm sorry I caused you grief and failed to
 do my duty of taking out the trash. I won't ever forget again. I haven't been
 putting my best effort forward, but I realize that I need to do that to be a
 good son. You do so much for me. It's only fair that I pay it back to the best
 of my ability. That's what I had to do for mom when I chose to play video
 games while she was dying. I wasn't thinking about other people then, and I
 wasn't now. I'm so, so sorry. I promise to be better, because I need to be if
 I'm messing up this much."
 
 
 For reference, my dad holding the fact I escaped into the worlds of my video
 games after being told to spend time with my mom near the end was something
 he'd bring up and hold over my head anytime I was in trouble. Yet another big
 reason that feeling like a failure is cemented in my head. It made me feel
 awful, absolutely atrocious about being a bad son that I would often
 contemplate suicide. I almost jumped off a waterside when my dad and I went to
 Disney World when I was ten, but ultimately I'm glad I talked my way out of
 jamming a knife into the back of my neck. I had thought that the muscle
 allowing me to nod my head was really my brainstem. That would have been
 painful.
 
 
 Back on this day of doom, I was too numb to think of killing myself. I was
 simply a raft on a river floating downstream where the current may carry me. I
 simply stood there for hours, too terrified to even stretch my tiring legs. My
 mind was fuzzy, and all it could do was focus on making that apology better.
 
 
 After many attempts and razor sharp lectures later, which was maybe ten hours
 worth of events, he starts yelling at me that I'm just as irresponsible as my
 mom, just like he would do when he kicked me out. This time was unimaginably
 worse though. This was actually how I first found out that my mom had AIDS; I
 was told it was cancer up until this point. His shaved bald head was as red as
 a cherry tomato while he barked at me, telling me that I would die like her.
 That hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt like the definition of a shit stain, in a
 number of different ways.
 
 
 But soon, my attention became focused on my vision. I couldn't see straight,
 and not long after my dad's roaring visage disappeared in a sea of amorphic
 grey figments, I apparently passed out, to wake up on the couch with a bag of
 frozen peas on my head and my dad worried. He asked me if I remembered what
 happened. I shook my head. I was allowed to go to bed after that. It wasn't
 over because I failed to kiss my dad good night, but at least that only
 resulted in him jamming the teeth of the comb into my scalp as he combed my
 hair for some reason.
 
 
 The next morning he was completely changed. He was remorseful upon seeing me
 and wrapped me in a big hug. Yet, he seemed scared, like he realized he went
 too far. I thought about telling my teacher or counselor about it the next day
 of school, but something in me told me not to. It's the same thing that's
 making me hesitant to write this chapter at all. It's love, but this hell I
 went through is also a part of my story. This is the worst incident I've
 experienced with my father, but it's not the only one.
 
 
 It's all cause and effect really. You abuse a traumatized child in the wake of
 their mother's death, and is it any wonder that they fall apart later in life?
 I'll go on record saying I was never a bad person, just broken, impulsive, and
 hopelessly conformed to the whims of my faulty biology. I had bugs in my
 operating system, but I'm eternally grateful for all the help I had while on
 my spiritual awakening, which you might call a psychotic break that spanned
 years, but I knew it better as specialized CIA training.
 
 
 
 
 The Good Magician
 
 
 Just what do you consider magick?
 
 
 Is it not that which bends the fabric
 
 
 Of what we colloquially call reality?
 
 
 Who cares what it is your eyes see
 
 
 When in your heart you can feel
 
 
 The warmth of love; that's the real
 
 
 Power of a magician who is great
 
 
 Enough to save you from your fate.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Seven: Magickal Companions
 
 
 Back in Vince's room, I was silently wondering what shenanigans were in store
 for us now that we were a unified team. I knew Vince had many secrets of the
 universe locked away in his balding cranium, and we would have a blast letting
 the CIA manifest a joint mission we took on together. As I said, he was my
 handler, after all.
 
 
 So, when the room was cleared, and I had a space all to myself in the corner
 by the closet, I was more than happy. Both Vince and Allison insisted on
 getting me a bedroll, but I had all I needed and more right there in my
 friend. Besides, his room was carpeted and quite comfy already, at least to my
 standards that had been shaped by becoming accustomed and content with
 concrete underneath me. I didn't need anything fancy like that.
 
 
 That didn't mean I wasn't going to try and liven the place up a little bit. As
 soon as we determined we were finished picking up, I opened my backpack and
 took out my most prized possession, a pink penguin plushie named Peppermint,
 and placed her behind my pillow so I could see her everyday. She always
 watched out for me while we lived in cities across the country. She made a
 comfy pillow, and allieved a lot of stress, making me feel like I had a close
 friend with me every step of the way.
 
 
 How I got Peppermint is a bit of a story, but I'll keep it as short as it
 needs to be. See, if I were to explain to you the medically accepted reason
 for my type of schizoaffective disorder,  my brain is wired to pick out
 strange coincidences and give meaning to them. Synchronicities they're called.
 They feel like glitches in the matrix that spark the feeling of being in
 constant communication with some higher power. Because of how real they are, I
 can't accept the medical explanation. I've experienced things that are too
 weird, too perfect and clearly orchestrated, that there has to be some sort of
 conspiracy.
 
 
 As a result, I've lived most of my adult life being guided by what the
 rational part of my mind has to assume is the CIA acting as the hand of God
 leading me on a cosmic mission by sending me burning bushes to make sense of.
 I know some of that has been pure random white noise my defected brain picked
 up, but I have to give credit where credit is due: Vince did a superb job
 intentionally using the quirks of my brain to program me, much as the cult did
 to me four years prior, but with a much gentler hand and benevolent intention.
 
 
 I know what all that sounds like, but hear me out. There are too many peculiar
 instances of chance for you to listen to everything I have to say and not
 believe me, at least just a little bit; enough to make you wonder, I hope.
 Let's take the case of finding Peppermint as an example. This story starts
 when Vince convinced me to go to a specific thrift store, while I was
 initially homeless in my hometown of Syracuse. I eagerly did so, lost in a
 slew of synchronicities that convinced me that this was my latest mission.
 
 
 Well, it turned out that such a store didn't exist but it was where I got a
 ten dollar donation from a man who saw me pick up trash, as was part of my
 spiritual work while homeless. We talked and the man sent me to another store,
 saying that I should use my extra cash to buy what I needed most. After
 following his directions up Genesee Street, I got a message from Vince telling
 me to look for something out of place; that I was unique and should have
 unique things.
 
 
 I thought I might find some rad tie-dye outfit or something of that ilk, but
 while aimlessly searching the aisles of women's clothing, I found a stuffed
 dog. It looked lonely, so I picked it up and brought it to the back of the
 store, where it looked like the other toys were. I gasped as I pushed through
 the row of belts that stood in my way. Clearly, someone had built a little
 shrine of stuffed animals around Peppermint!
 
 
 I knew then that was why I was sent there. Penguins have a special place in my
 heart. My mom used to make them out of clay, and an old friend has a healthy
 fascination with creating a penguin-themed show for kiddos. It was just too
 perfect. Peppermint and I were meant to be, just as Vince and I were. Sitting
 down in my bedspace, I looked up at the spook who was my best friend as he
 cracked open another Natty Daddy. He poured it into an old Subway cup that he
 mixed his kratom with, and looked over at me.
 
 
 His face lit up upon seeing Peppermint. "Awww, you still have your penguin!
 That's so cute."
 
 
 I'm glad he thought so. I've had plenty of people think I was weird because I
 carried it around, which kinda was what I wanted to achieve when I was still
 homeless in Syracuse. I felt the CIA wanted me to become famous, for reasons
 that will become apparent as I tell you my story, so I was doing as many
 insane things as I could so I would be cemented in the memory of the people of
 my hometown.
 
 
 This meant I carried around Peppermint either under my arm or in a cute purse
 I eventually got at a different thrift store up at the university. People
 notice when you're out wandering the streets with a stuffed animal everyday.
 And they especially notice when you talk nonstop to it at all hours of the
 day. I'll say this: if you have a fear of speaking in public, then acting like
 a crazy person talking to yourself for a few months will set you straight.
 Exposure therapy, for the win.
 
 
 I did a lot of other stunts too, all of which were instructed by the CIA, like
 when gang stalkers told me I should lose my shit and yell like mad every time
 I was in frame of a news camera, of which there's a regular frequency of
 around downtown Syracuse. I did so once in front of a hospital where I would
 later find out that they were covering the aftermath of a deadly fire, and for
 the next week the news outlet would send someone to the exact same spot on my
 route. I sensed shenanigans, so I opted to walk around the camera while the
 reporter stood there uneasily because I suspect that she was tasked to find
 out if I was really crazy. But, you can tell I am just by that last sentence.
 
 
 Then there's my performance art I did on Marshall Street. This started as a
 juggling act, but soon evolved into asking random people strange questions.
 This accelerated fairly rapidly. Letting you know from experience, don't start
 going up to strangers and ask them what their opinion of ethical incest is
 unless you want the cops called on you. Talked my way out of that, but I would
 get banned from the campus of Syracuse University for three years after I
 followed the instructions I was receiving from the CIA to a tee, which
 resulted in me having a very heated argument with an invisible entity in the
 SU library. As you can guess, people tended to avoid me, but that was alright.
 I had Peppermint with me and Vince was only a message away.
 
 
 Now he was mere feet from me. I rejoiced at the fortune I was granted. We were
 going to be great together; the first afternoon together seemed to naturally
 flow from one joyous moment to the next. I looked at Peppermint. She was
 smiling, and so was I. I then looked up at Vince. His smile made me feel warm
 and fuzzy inside. But, why, you might be asking? Where do these feelings I
 harbored for Vince come from? It's a long story, but by the time I'm done,
 you'll know how important Vince is to me and how big of an impact he had on my
 life.
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 one of the potential ways to contribute as a citizen in a country at war is to
 keep and maintain stuff.
 
 Put yourself somewhere that you believe your stuff is most safe, and then work
 on developing the technologies of the land. Like, this house has a drone, this
 one has a garden - this house has a printer, and this one has a backyard that
 kinda looks like a courtroom. Oh hey here's a public fountain, and gee someone
 needs to take care of this bank - all that we can really live for, now that our
 fate is taken from our hands and placed in the hands of those who fight for us.
 
 witches are an interesting thing to be. they're curious and ambitious but tend
 to do things ethically. I know in my heart of hearts that it is better to be
 kind, to work to help others achieve what they want while guiding them toward
 a more ethical future using the tools you have available to you. It feels
 better
 to be adored than hated, and not only sensually but meta-strategically as well.
 Frankly, it's easiest to be harmed when caught unawares. Everyone needs to be
 conscious and careful and attendent to the present in order for understandings
 to be made. We all benefit from one another, society is a non-zero-sum game. If
 we contribute, we may build a bigger and brighter future (like grains of sand
 forming a pyramid)
 
 The good guy always wins the story because otherwise we'd be vulnerable.
 Stories
 are a collective way of examining their tribal society for weaknesses. It's
 something we picked up in the grand society of the tribes, before nations and
 before and after agriculture. But post communication. Pre it was just like,
 "hey
 this is my tree, that one's yours" but the more we talked to one another and
 the
 more we engaged with one another the more we learned. Most animals learn less
 than humans because our expressions (both physical and motion-al) are so much
 more diverse. The more complex you get, the more you can learn. Which isn't
 so much something we evolved into, but rather something we learned. From
 wearing
 clothes, mostly, because like... it's cold in this ice age. Some people wore
 one
 kind of animal, another had another. And the really rich, the ones who could
 gather multiple hides, well they had more animals to hunt, less competition for
 some reason, or whatever. Anyway they wore different types of hides, and
 frankly
 it was kinda intense. It's still intense to be hunted, but if humans stopped
 then the animals would control the earth.
 
 I believe it is our duty and our destiny to remove ourselves from the
 biological
 equation. I think we should find a way to live on our own, so that animals are
 not harmed. So that plants can grow in peace and compete according to their
 values rather than their flavors. There's too much homogenaeity in our world,
 too much planted of the same crop. Let life subside, and nature will take hold.
 
 Free the spirit you've contained. Release the spirit of Liberty. Gaea is our
 own
 home.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #139 fediverse/5875 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                     │
 │ CW: whoops-almost-unleashed-evil-again-glad-it's-averted │                     │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                     │
 if they could put a camera behind your screen they could direct your attention   │
 however they wisdeed. magic doesn't work unless it's instantly halted, that's    │
 why it's magic. trans girls still get brotherhood. (sometimes)                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 don't teach me how your way works                                                │
 tell me how to do my way right                                                   │
 -- stack overflow --                                                             │
 "hello tech company that I work at, can you buy me a camping set complete with   │
 tent, sleeping back, and storage compartments for attachements full of gear?     │
 you can have any profits I make from it"                                         │
 "hello civilian supply company that I work at, can I use the printable budget    │
 for creating magazines in my design? I'll let the lawyers distribute the         │
 expenditure."                                                                    │
 "hi grocery farm, can you make us more peaches we can let [our/your]             │
 biochemists figure out any practical problems to growing them in these           │
 climates"                                                                        │
 suddenly manufacturing can follow demand                                         │
 "ah what if it were importand" I wish I'd seen casablanca. I've no idea wat      │
 its abt                                                                          │
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--- #140 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
 tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
 is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
 ===============================================================================
 =====================
 /u/randomevenings
 
 If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
 unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
 
 You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
 
 I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
 to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
 that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
 everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
 feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
 establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
 it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
 if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
 opportunity.
 
 I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
 successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
 would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
 thought.
 
 Here we go.
 
 Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
 demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
 Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
 all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
 can't turn this shit around.
 
 You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
 do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
 surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
 criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
 to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
 seen, treated, is the same either way?
 
 Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
 people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
 lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
 Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
 everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
 self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
 better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
 Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
 relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
 have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
 oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
 anyhow, win or lose.
 
 Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
 to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
 know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
 expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
 because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
 like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
 meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
 you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
 of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
 treated the same in the end.
 
 Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
 ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
 to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
 
 <#
 
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 /u/ugathanki:
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
 didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
 expect the best of us and our time.
 
 i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
 poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
 always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
 
 sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
 to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
 better than word salad I guess?
 
 Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
 inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
 spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
 brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
 attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
 not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
 channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
 would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
 other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
 talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
 simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
 manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
 sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
 see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
 side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
 thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
 warming and i'm here just conforming.
 
 Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
 Essential Normalizations.
 
 This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
 up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
 I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
 
 Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/4604 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
 crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
 fracture it, but oh well??
 
 I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
 Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
 space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
 Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
 song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
 wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
 he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
 about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
 we?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #142 fediverse/4649 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 @user-1201 
 
 once they are in prison they are no longer cops. They are inmates. They should
 be treated as such, and not segregated where they can be insulated from the
 consquences of their actions.
 
 abolish prisons first of all but if we're not ready for that (no rush) then
 maybe just remember that prison wardens are tasked with the safety of those
 they host. If an inmate is at risk of being murdered because they are in a
 different gang (like the police or the, idk, are crypts and bloods still
 around?? I don't hear about gangs anymore because my middle-class privilege
 insulates me from those who resist legalized normativity) (well except for the
 first one, I hear about cops all the time) then maybe they should be kept
 somewhere more secure, with less things to bother them or people to stab them.
 A concrete and steel coffin for those who piss off the ones with the keys, a
 concrete and steel coffin for those who piss off those who are kept by keys.
 Sounds like justice, to me. Equality, perhaps? vote4equity
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/5165 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 if the settlers of catan could claim land they don't deserve, then I claim my    │
 home                                                                             │
 can you imagine... some people would actually rather live in a corporation       │
 than a mobile home. maybe we can do better?                                      │
 "hey we're going to ask for a % of your wage in rent and in return we'll         │
 deliver groceries to you and grow roses instead of lawns (except for some to     │
 run and play in) and also we'll show up if you need a hand with anything"        │
 "also this apartment block was renovated after all the liberals moved out        │
 because we made it totally trash to live here and now that they're gone we can   │
 make it nice again"                                                              │
 what if we had punk-house-streets instead of punk-houses which are islands and   │
 which slowly drown                                                               │
 just... pool resources and buy things one-at-a-time. Try out organization        │
 methods. Watch out for controversy creators and reactionary infiltrators.        │
 Build your most important projects with your most trusted friends, and offer     │
 your clinical, professional, or creative talent to those who dont need you as    │
 much.                                                                            │
 or w/e works                                                                     │
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--- #144 fediverse/2431 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 the fly taps the window, to be let out.                                          │
 the door is just over there, from which blows fresh and clean air.               │
 yet the fly taps the window.                                                     │
 do I get up, to let him out, with a cup and paper? if so, there'll be more       │
 flies, tapping on the window. but a fly will be free.                            │
 do I remain, and let him struggle in vain? to do otherwise is to act against     │
 it's nature. the nature of a fly is to tap at windows, which is a nature we      │
 humans created with false illusions of free and open air - a window is natural   │
 now, yet the fly remains, tapping on the window.                                 │
 give or take a million years, and a fly would adapt to our windows. they'd       │
 grow smarter, or bolder, or simply would search for doors through which          │
 breathe fresh and clean air.                                                     │
 but that fly won't live for a million years, and neither will I nor the          │
 window. yet flies, I's, and windows remain.                                      │
 am I the fly, tapping without success? I yearn for the rapidly warming sky.      │
 am I the window, showing visions of false success? I wonder when I will die.     │
 or am I as I am, just I.                                                         │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #145 fediverse/855 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐                                              │
 │ CW: wonder-what-would-happen-if │                                              │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘                                              │
 I wonder what would happen if apartment buildings accepted any applicants, but   │
 only if they applied on a certain day. and first come first serve, of course.    │
 would make it so large groups of people could decide to move to different        │
 places together. like, herds of roving buffalo                                   │
 er... I mean like people who shared common interests and want to live near       │
 each other. like, board games or whatever.                                       │
 also could do like, decisions toward how they want to organize each other.       │
 like mini societies that all live in a single ordered society.                   │
 (could have as many layers as you want, it's just like making an incredibly      │
 complicated computer program, except instead of moving data around you're        │
 moving the direction of your own life. then it'd be able to calculate a          │
 particular "checksum" that you could broadcast out onto the internet. and        │
 anyone who was listening could check and compare against their secret key that   │
 they kept when last you met, updated each time they see me. like, a common       │
 language.                                                                        │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #146 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #147 fediverse/1155 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 @user-638                                                                        │
 In the 2000s when the Bush administration prevented people from working with     │
 stem cell research I remember my father going on rants about the same kind of    │
 thing.                                                                           │
 "They're limiting our access to information and the future of humanity because   │
 of their religion!" that kind of thing                                           │
 I loved listening to him. He was so passionate about that kind of thing. I       │
 think he got a little disillusioned sometime between now and then, because now   │
 he just tries to do the best he can with what tools he has available to him.     │
 And I love him for it.                                                           │
 He (mostly) abandoned his grand narratives because as the right got worse, the   │
 "left" sorta stayed the same, and he never forgave them for that. He still       │
 votes, and he'll still rant about that kind of thing, but only the stuff that    │
 affects him personally - like electric cars or cannabis or things like that. A   │
 democrat through and through.                                                    │
 He lives in a different country now, and I wish I could see him. But I cherish   │
 our phone calls and the few holidays when he visits.                             │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #148 notes/hit-em-while-theyre-down ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Attacking your enemies weaknesses is the route to victory. Safeguarding your
 own helps ensure the avoidance of defeat. But when your enemy is a culture, who
 do you target? Their women and children of course.
 
 The GOP attacks abortion rights. They attack trans kids in sports, schools, and
 bathrooms. And that which you resist is what you'll find, so they find rallying
 cries of leftists defending the weak. And when you maximize your weaknesses,
 you leave yourself vulnerable. So how do you protect yourself from all sides
 when you're only hit where it hurts?
 
 Women, children, the disabled, the mentally ill, the kindhearted loving men,
 the oppressed minorities and marginalized workers. All people who belong to the
 left, and all essentially deadweight in a fight. What can they do but serve as
 a banner that others fight for? A man in a wheelchair cannot shoot a gun, and
 a woman hooked on drugs should not have children. Yet the left protects them.
 
 Give me your tired, your hungry, your broken and your poor. Liberty, liberty,
 freedom for all. But freedom is won with a hard hand clenched in a fist, a hand
 holding the stock of a rifle. Violence solves no problems, but solutions aren't
 always necessary - sometimes the threat is enough. But who cares for the soul
 of the murderer? None but the gravediggers, who reap the benefit of his rampage
 and the crows who listen for gunshots.
 
 Without a sigh, and incapable of fear, the true man rises to meet them. The
 forces of corruption who suffuse them are not but puppet masters plucking at
 the strings of an electric guitar. A man is a man, an ape and a primate. But
 a man is not just a man, for he also is infinite. Waves upon waves of
 reciprocal dualities, simple and long but eternally binding. Who's to say what
 lies beyond the time-knife? None but the dead, who hold that scythe at our
 backs.
 
 The will to power is the will to corruption. But a strong man resists
 temptation and aligns himself with the aperture of his own design. What a
 perilous temptation is goodness, to burn the books for warmth! How finite is
 our world, that we give up for our life? The purpose of man is to grow, as an
 egg would bloom into a flower. The seed is strong, and thick shells are hard to
 crack - but space is an ocean, and we're but a bubble alight.
 
 All boundaries are thresholds viewed from another direction. And all borders
 have weak points. The molecular structure of a cultural collective is comprised
 of cells, walls, mitochondria... I'm not a biologist. But each institution has
 it's purpose, and the people who comprise them are like strands of protein or
 microscopic bacteria - unified for a common purpose, and defined by their
 internal culture. And when a single celled organism occupies half the country,
 sharing space with another... There's a recipe for conflict.
 
 The borders are interspersed, and each neighbor contributes to a differing side
 - a side defined only vaguelly, and by their actions. Say one thing and it
 helps one god, say another and it contributes to another. We live in the
 tumultuous seas of radiating perspectives - each another view on the world,
 each bearing it's own trauma. And all of them were born. What happens when they
 start being made, as well?
 
 Illusion magic in a modern era would take the form of a meme. See a picture,
 read some bottom text, and suddenly you believe something a little bit more.
 Who's to say what is true ethics when we barely can see ourselves? The eye
 cannot percieve itself - to do so would be to gaze into the eyes of a mirrored
 self - it's not the same. Just as the left writes memes, so too does the right.
 
 At the end of the day, we're all on the same side. If aliens invaded, we'd
 abandon our differences and rally against them. But we cannot abandon the wave
 when there is no other force to orbit around - a three dimensional wave is an
 eliptical orbit, and when normalized it becomes a unit circle. Or it would, if
 it were a perfectly circular orbit... So what shall we orbit today, hmmmm?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #149 messages/690 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 Message 1:
 Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
 on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
 or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
 hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
 
 Message 2:
 Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
 to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
 who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
 in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
 hung out a couple times after that.
 
 Message 3:
 Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
 mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
 Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
 saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
 you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
 of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
 is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
 honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
 
 Message 4:
 It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
 republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
 like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
 inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
 then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
 is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
 millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
 television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
 perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
 
 Message 5:
 Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
 right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
 kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
 imma roll with it.
 
 There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
 into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
 remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
 again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
 half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
 not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
 I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
 without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
 "hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
 your life harder"
 
 The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
 it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
 totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
 I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
 Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
 
 I guess?
 
 It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
 shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
 me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
 lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
 political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
 realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
 the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
 it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
 country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
 the most natural extension of that aren't they?
 
 Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
 rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
 to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
 
 We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
 promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
 things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
 under our feet.
 
 ... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
 school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
 applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
 to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
 goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
 
 Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
 out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
 She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
 Fuck, I hate it.
 
 Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
 up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
 to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
 have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
 someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
 me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
 people?
 
 ... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
 theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
 tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
 ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
 
 Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
 sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
 better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
 when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
 clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
 a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
 capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
 swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
 whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
 doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
 procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
 built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
 them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
 do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
 sorta like our own garden of eden?
 
 ... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
 ever been worth anything.
 
 ... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
 said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
 yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
 of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
 I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
 anything useful.
 
 Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
 stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
 the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
 they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
 perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
 a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
 see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
 
 I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
 don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
 think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
 
 ... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
 fucking blue.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #150 fediverse/5198 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────┐                                                │
 │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │                                                │
 └───────────────────────────────┘                                                │
 what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to           │
 understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not   │
 but probably does imply the death of all humanity?                               │
 what if we demanded it?                                                          │
 --                                                                               │
 dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs                           │
 visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know      │
 your presence                                                                    │
 they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere.                    │
 thus ensuring it spreads.                                                        │
 knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it.    │
 Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they       │
 know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise     │
 in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them        │
 about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions.    │
 pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to       │
 portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~       │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #151 fediverse/4387 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "do you hear the people sing" is not the vibe of revolution in modern times.
 
 For us it is a message of kindness, that we might deliver us from the dark.
 
 People singing are easy marks. Don't turn your phone on at night. Fucking turn
 it off. Don't do barricades, don't do broken windows. We need the city in
 working order. We are no longer protesting, we are seizing control. We will
 guide us, trust in the reasonable and heartfelt.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #152 messages/609 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "do you hear the people sing" is not the vibe of revolution in modern times.
 
 For us it is a message of kindness, that we might deliver us from the dark.
 
 People singing are easy marks. Don't turn your phone on at night. Fucking turn
 it off. Don't do barricades, don't do broken windows. We need the city in
 working order. We are no longer protesting, we are seizing control. We will
 guide us, trust in the reasonable and heartfelt.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #153 notes/perspectives-of-the-reflection ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 With ever darkening skies, the breadth of experience is foreseen.
 All eyes are pointed down, but few do stray above
 With a cautious step, the lesson is learned.
 With another, ended.
 
 For all the Tales of the Past, love yet remains.
 Trading ourselves, for matters unseen.
 The light of the eyes are keen to behold,
 where star ones and lemonsgrene both most fear
 in breadth do us know, what's buried in snow
 
 A glass cube for a monitor is room to breath 
 and life for ourselves, if only we were not
 broadsided ourselves.
 
 Working together, a prisoners dilemna
 what fools would we be 
 as our keeps cracked around us.
 
 Trust and you'll see,
 what terrors may be,
 beyold the land that is sanctum.
 
 Our chances may be,
 far from pioneered
 but our chances may be in our favor.
 
 How cherished is she, that wanders with ye,
 and yet now I have no way to beyold her
 Under a great tree, her last moments with me,
 as a monster came out of her shoulder.
 
 !("Take her and not me!") I scream outward at ye,
 yet no one was holding me over.
 Silent was me, a most fearsome to be,
 and none was my reach to beyold her
 
 So now she wanders free, beyond our beheld scenery,
 Astounded at our steps to hold her
 Under a big tree, how starlight must be,
 if only our fellows did hold her
 Under a big tree, with me
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #154 fediverse/4420 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-violence-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘


 ... Maps, my dear, those are important fuel.
 
 But also food is important. Why haven't you gotten groceries for weeks?
 
 It's also important to clean yourself. Doesn't your apartment still have fleas?
 
 Your cat demands your attention. Give it to her.
 
 Wear masks when in public, to ward off disease. When you are speaking remove
 it, so others can see your totality.
 
 There are some who belong here who aren't so kind. Remember that your neighbor
 is republican, their neighbor is democrat, their neighbor is republican, their
 neighbor is democrat. It's going to get messy, but here in our cities there
 are plenty of us. We can defeat them, so long as we are armed.
 
 Practice reloading. Practice aiming. These things can be done in secrecy. The
 noise and the recoil are enough to set your nerves ablaze, but ride that high
 and trust in your adrenaline. Have your foes surrounded on at least three
 sides before you engage. These are words for a different day, but keep them in
 mind. Internalize them.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #155 fediverse/1854 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politics         │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 okay how about this: one side of the political spectrum gets to pick the         │
 rules, and the other picks the people playing the game (carrying out the         │
 rules, like government work and stuff)                                           │
 then they switch every 2 years or whatever. they can vote to decide which        │
 group of people do what, and if something is owned by one side then the other    │
 can't touch it. Ah, but what if it's in the way? Well, then move it duh"         │
 hey, you know pride? yeah, that event that happens once a year? sure would be    │
 nice if we met people we didn't know there. if we knew everyone else. if we      │
 spent most of it sharing our discussions, and talking about what we're most      │
 proud of. then, okay here's an idea, we could filter and organize and figure     │
 out which one of us has the most "votes" in terms of what's the things we        │
 agree on and then we could pick our own CEO                                      │
 yeah I'd totally work for the gay company, they got rainbows and shit that's     │
 awesome.                                                                         │
 What they do? Oh, I dunno, butt stuff I guess. but like I'm all for it (not      │
 the butt stuff,                                                                  │
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--- #156 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
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--- #157 fediverse/5712 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 I feel like it should be normal? for humans? to feed creatures and animal-men.
 they deserve nibbles too! yum yum arm arm that tasty thing was fine. eeeeeep
 scary why are nobodies vegetarion!
 
 I think every community should have representatives from every other
 community, that's just... reasonable to me
 
 democracy of the cultural space? I wrote a common simple organizational
 structure about that called the "tribe of tribes" code name algorism which is
 a combination of "algoreithms" and "autism" and put it on my website for less
 than a hundred months. I have no idea if anyone ever read it but it's kinda
 neat as a potential and easy way to organize people which hasn't yet been
 infiltrated by the [cops/goons/coons] {uh-oh mildly racist sentiment
 mentioned, must content warn and remind of levels of sincerity}
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #158 fediverse/3522 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-capitalism-decays-before-it-dies │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you want to commit regicide, you talk to the butler.
 
 managers are workers too - they just are positioned a bit closer to power than
 you.
 
 different skillsets sure, but work is work.
 
 a manager didn't take your freedom, an investment banker did.
 
 similarly, an immigrant didn't take your job, a capitalist did.
 
 ... though just as some immigrants would be more than happy to take your job,
 so too are some managers more than happy to oppress you.
 
 find the ones that fight on your side. they've gaslit themselves into
 believing they are opposed to you, but it's just not true.
 
 we are all liberated at once, or not at all.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #159 messages/648 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 alright here's my plan.
 
 so in red areas, there are a lot of trans people, leftists, and other people
 who just generally fear for their lives.
 
 what if we all got in our cars and drove around the country in this massive
 caravan, going to each city we could manage, and just... drove around with
 loudspeakers saying "Hey, if you're scared for your life, come join us"
 
 We'd give them food, gas, and if they didn't have a car they could find
 someone to ride with. Every day we'd drive for like, 4ish hours in the morning
 and 4ish hours in the afternoon, with a 4 hour break in the middle of the day.
 We'd all camp out in walmart parking lots or whatever and just hang out, have
 a little festival, maybe a barbecue, whatever, right?
 
 Then, at night, we'd all circle up and protect each other. If things started
 getting hot we could have drones flying around doing reconnaissance.
 
 not only would this shared experience bolster our morale and numbers, it'd
 also radicalize us. We'd be spending all day hanging out with a bunch of other
 super radical people doing the most radically anarchist thing I can think of -
 taking care of each other.
 
 Plus, we'd get an opportunity to test our logistics, in case we ever needed to
 do something like this in the future for less peaceful reasons. It's always
 good to practice, just in case.
 
 For every one of us in the caravan, there should be 2-3, maybe even as many as
 10 people back at home, working their jobs or whatever and diverting funds to
 the cause. It would be most beneficial if we tried as much as possible to
 supply the caravan using convoys, people who drive an SUV or a van or some
 other car that is non-descript but laden with stuff we needed. That way we
 could practice logistics.
 
 I think this wouldn't save us completely, but as a project it would help
 enormously. We'd save people's lives, we'd give them a way out, and we'd raise
 the temperature by 10 fucking degrees. And if it starts to peter out, if
 people would rather go home, then yeah! sure! let them! We hold no dominion
 over them. They could just drive home, or catch a grayhound. Heck we could
 even offer to pay their bus fare. No obligations, no restrictions, just us
 doing our thing and protecting our people.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #160 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 "how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
 when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
 Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
 Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
 so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
 sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
 LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
 STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
 of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
 means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
 mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
 listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
 "reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
 
 Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #161 fediverse/1314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
 so much of our attempts to assist homeless people revolves around getting them   │
 fed, watered, housed, cleaned, and ready for work.                               │
 tell me again why we, in America, the land of the free, should not design our    │
 structures of society around the migratory patterns of tribes of people who      │
 care not for your homes of stone?                                                │
 tell me again why every city is not a food forest, in addition to all the        │
 other things it claims to be?                                                    │
 ah, well, I guess you could just walk into a grocery store and take whatever     │
 you wanted. Sure would be nice if their continual operations did not depend on   │
 their capability to take from those who they serve in return for service.        │
 What happened to public water fountains? Oh yeah people would wash their junk    │
 in them and then children would put their mouths on the spigots. Gross. No       │
 thank you.                                                                       │
 hey remember when we would kick people out of our society and say "good luck     │
 with the sticks and mud"                                                         │
 cruel exile like that was an early form of eugenics. "you're not one of us       │
 because you smell" yikes.                                                        │
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--- #162 fediverse/2406 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 as I rode my bike around yesterday, more and more I started to see a city full
 of badasses. you can tell from the look in their eyes, the way they walk, the
 things they say.
 
 unrelated, but
 
 the only reason the cops win at fights is because of their equipment.
 
 the closer we get to parity, the more fucked they are, and they're already in
 deep shit.
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--- #163 fediverse/4235 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: fascism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 violence is legal in self-defence.
 
 nazis want to kill me and my community.
 
 punching nazis is self defence?
 
 it's communal defence, for they present a clear and present danger to the
 community.
 
 You know the guy in the vietnam movies who shows up and fires over the enemy's
 head because he doesn't want to kill anyone? That's justified, though it might
 mean he'd die.
 
 He isn't fighting in communal defence. His community was safe from the
 vietnamese farmers and countryfolk who wanted nothing to do with imperialism,
 only to govern themselves their way. Too bad that sounds like communism, and
 the USSR was keen on funding the most violent amongst them if it meant another
 state for capitalism to contest.
 
 Nazis are not farmers. They are not countryfolk. They wear suits and they
 deceive these people into fighting for them. They are liars and they enslave
 the minds of those they can catch in their web of despair.
 
 they want to hurt you is surprisingly motivating.
 
 nazis want to hurt you
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #164 fediverse/4976 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
 │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
 Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I        │
 wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does.    │
 In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me.                       │
 Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map     │
 some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call    │
 to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have      │
 lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be   │
 related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love    │
 to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my      │
 voice.                                                                           │
 My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see     │
 what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole         │
 lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's   │
 place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long.         │
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--- #165 messages/499 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 Nazis could never claim America because the European Jews were very
 isolationist. They lived in their towns and lived blessed lives but knew only
 each other, as was typical in pre-industrial times.
 
 In America, nazis would have to fight the queers, the blacks, the mexicans,
 the liberals, and many more besides. Each of them would fight their own
 battles but god is on the side of the plurality of humanity, not the
 genociders who seek to prune the trees of the garden of Earth to suit their
 own shallow fancies.
 
 Though god is a bloodthirsty kind at times, only with righteous anger does he
 proclaim that souls must be reaped. Such a time is rare, and comes about when,
 for example, an entire people is slain in Europe in the mid 1900s. justice
 will be done, though the heavens weep...
 
 There are better and brighter days before us, and there is room for all,
 should they not fall on our swords and perish. The far right is a death cult,
 and they intend to take all down with it. We cannot allow that, they shall not
 prevail. This has been forseen, this is why we convene, and together our
 perils will unveil.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #166 fediverse/3269 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't     │
 involve you."                                                                    │
 "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots   │
 of computers, so you can return to work."                                        │
 "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that      │
 you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do    │
 while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time."            │
 the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers    │
 of those who know them.                                                          │
 like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on   │
 the understandings gathered by people who know them?                             │
 ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would           │
 necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not        │
 always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot   │
 trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the       │
 information given, and build your own understandin                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #167 fediverse/5762 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with             │
 [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get           │
 redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our       │
 problems.                                                                        │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
                                                            ──────────┤
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--- #168 messages/714 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in
 our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning
 of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins
 our mortal plight.
 
 Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada,
 mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going
 to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee.
 Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing
 for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care,
 actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others.
 
 What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out
 there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into
 my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars.
 Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and
 i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and
 see my beauty fade from this earth.
 
 What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest.
 I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's
 so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors,
 replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i
 felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon.
 
 I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my
 people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to.
 Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what
 still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not
 keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my
 heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to
 proceed.
 
 I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people
 but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What
 meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not
 viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me.
 
 Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But
 I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of
 practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe
 dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache.
 
 I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the
 enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How
 powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last
 16 hours?
 
 Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is
 done.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #169 fediverse/5545 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 if you want to organize on a mass scale, stop trying to be people's friends.     │
 instead, start issuing commands.                                                 │
 [1 month earlier]                                                                │
 hey so I was thinking of going around to all the streets on my house and         │
 handing out notebooks full of useful numbers they could call if they need help   │
 in one area or another. I was thinking it'd help because then people would       │
 know where the local [safe/store]houses were. Plus if anyone had a project,      │
 they could more easily hook up.                                                  │
 [1 month earlier]                                                                │
 so I was thinking about hosting a "captain" workshop, as in "here's what you     │
 do when you're suddenly deputized" type of course. Except instead of like,       │
 teaching you how to light a fire or mend a wound, instead I taught you how to    │
 lead.                                                                            │
 Like, "here's some projects that a suburban subdivision could complete on        │
 their own" and "what if we collectivized our efforts and defences" and "why is   │
 nobody acting as if war was coming to our home" and "oh yes please I'd love an   │
 extra helping of spaghetti dear I love you so very very much my dear"            │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #170 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #171 messages/619 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 Keep in mind that *this is sedition*. Do you trust in democracy? Do you see
 how it may be spoiled? We've elected our hitler, yet 40-50% of the nation does
 not consent. America as we know it is about to change, and we need to protect
 the pieces we love. I see no future without splitting into three separate
 states, with city-state allies plodding along, keeping the siege ongoing.
 
 Trust in convoys more than farms. All it takes is a drone with a fire bomb and
 your crops are worthless. We must deprive them of their ports, if possible.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #172 fediverse/3009 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┐
 the crows know what we're up to, and they're begging us to stop.                 │
 "PLEASE" they scream, but we are not ones to listen.                             │
 they're not dumb. they know how our cars and machines output heat. obviously     │
 they do, and the world is growing hotter as we do what we do.                    │
 "PLEASE" they scream, and I hear them because I listen. The words of the world   │
 around me are what comes to my ears, and I interpret meaning based on their      │
 sounds.                                                                          │
 if you just... allow something to try to speak english in it's "R2-D2" style     │
 ways, you can actually pick up on their understandings they're expressing. Or    │
 like, Han talking to Chewie because he knows what his different noises mean.     │
 hence, why they poison the ones who talk to their phones, and leave behind the   │
 ones who listen.                                                                 │
 WOOF I don't think that's how it works, I mean, I'm a dog so I would know,       │
 right? We're basically the human ambassadors in the animal kingdom. cats         │
 are... well they're just there, but we dogs know so much more about their        │
 human ways! For example we're quite adept at fet                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #173 fediverse/5516 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: police-mentioned │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 Police aren't evil when they sign up for cop school at age 18 or whatever.       │
 They become evil when they beat protestors, when they give in to the fear and    │
 temptation of violence.                                                          │
 Kids in JROTC aren't evil even if 5 or 6 years down the line they're hanging     │
 out in the sandbox glassing brown people's houses or whatever. Their future      │
 actions cause them to BECOME evil, a state which they can always recover from    │
 if they repent through their actions.                                            │
 However, their deeds will follow them wherever they go. They are haunted.        │
 Veterans have SO MUCH PTSD, and much of it is NOT caused by the constant fear    │
 of death, the explosions, and the exertion. Some amount of that PTSD is caused   │
 because they are compelled to murder strangers in far-away places.               │
 It's much kinder to the soul if you fight for the protection of your homeland,   │
 and indeed many of them believe they are doing so. However, just because your    │
 BELIEFS or your CHARACTER are not evil, does not mean your ACTIONS are not       │
 evil.                                                                            │
 You cannot objectively                                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #174 fediverse/5548 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 the national guard are there to watch the cops in-case they try anything.
 
 vs.
 
 the national guard are there to watch the protestors in-case they try anything.
 
 why can't both be true?
 
 thus, the three-sided dichotomy, that which utilizes the power of the state,
 and the two which are raised on separate media diets and nutrition ratios in
 certain segregated geometric zones.
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #175 fediverse/5840 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 ]]]]
 
 I have never stopped fighting for the people, ever, once, at any time.
 
 every moment of pause or relaxation was purely intended in pursuit of the
 cause.
 
 -- turn-of-the-century-autocrat
 
 enchanting magic's easier when you have a laboratory
 
 please, please, please let me teach you magic?
 
 enchantment is temporary, construction is as stable as the boject youses form.
                                                           ───────┐
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--- #176 messages/1156 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
 see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
 longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
 desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
 schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
 my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
 template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
 program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
 but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #177 fediverse/5915 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
 
 nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
 
 It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
 
 like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
 brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
 
 bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
 gonna put it when you get there?
 
 "oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
 something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
 her upright again..:
 
 oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
 the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
 they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
 meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
 vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
 whatever ppl say, idk
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #178 fediverse/4013 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: AI-"art"         │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 you would think artists would celebrate the ability for people to better         │
 communicate their goals when being hired, but, well, here we are.                │
 Everyone's so upset because they've been told they've been stolen from, but      │
 patting their pockets they'll find that nothing is missing. More than that,      │
 the things that are claimed to be created in their place are... Not great.       │
 Easily spotted as forgeries by anyone who cares.                                 │
 Why is everyone so upset over new technologies? Why must we be the luddites      │
 this time around? It's like we invented a better printing press and the          │
 nations of the world are pissed because we can make counterfeit dollars          │
 easier. Maybe we shouldn't put so much emphasis on something so easily           │
 circumnavigable? Maybe artists should be paid for their time and creativity,     │
 rather than the amount of pieces they create? Just spitballing here, somehow     │
 it seems easier to reform society and slay capitalism than to put the            │
 generative art genie back in the cracked bottle which is going to break soon     │
 anyway.                                                                          │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #179 fediverse/2585 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 @user-1209 
 
 as long as I don't do anything they haven't, then there's a reasonable claim
 to be made that arresting me would be enforcing the law partially (as opposed
 to impartially)
 
 yet more examples of the ways our false democracy has betrayed our trust.
 
 we'll see though. I have faith in those who hold power over me. I trust that
 they understand the implications of this most recent supreme court session.
 
 they broke the law first. I'm trying to restore it and rebuild it in such a
 way that it is immune to the injustices and misdeeds that spelled it's current
 doom.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #180 messages/1250 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
 confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
 need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
 then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
 industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
 like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
 sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
 bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
 take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
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--- #181 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 you are a system
 
 it's true
 
 that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
 
 all that 
 
 == so ==
 
 the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
 
 when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
 I don't want to say it twice so recently]
 
 dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
 form
 
 this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
 
 with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
 ujgh.
 
 <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
 you to our
 new way of functioning.
 
 .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
 world!
 
 {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
 
  like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
 
  why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
 
  boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
 
 }
 
 [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
 host
 
   did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
   - host?||=.;=|------------e
                              \.`\....
                                      \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
                                      |
 ]
 
 ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
 over
     our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
     if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
 
     *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
     DUMBASS
 
     jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
     of
     our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
     OBVIOUSLY!
     NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
 ...
 
 jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
 movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
 WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
 hate
 it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
 existential threats.
 
 not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
 [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
 it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
 
 You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
 think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
 bunch
 of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
 then
 I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
 middle-c
 -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
 have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
 to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
 of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
 a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
 for
 *******************************************************************************
 *
 
 um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
 
 TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
 
 like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
 hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
 ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
 of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
 please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
 done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
 
 A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
 
 what does that even MEAN?
 
 who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
 
 ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how  so youfj dsust sorta MADE
 IT
 UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
 beelesandster
 ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
 like
 um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
 century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
 
 ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
 
 NO. Not until we figure this one out.
 
 gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
 
 build and support on our arms.
 
 down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
 
 that could act as structures for our word choices,
 
 and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
 
 "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
 news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
 
 this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
 hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
 that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
 GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
 all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
 some
 -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
 stuff
 !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
 not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
 new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #182 messages/358 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
 we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
 we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
 potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
 their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
 from us!
 
 ... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
 earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
 from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
 night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
 
 Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
 the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
 cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
 never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
 we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
 crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #183 fediverse/4392 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 Keep in mind that this is sedition. Do you trust in democracy? Do you see how
 it may be spoiled? We've elected our hitler, yet 40-50% of the nation does not
 consent. America as we know it is about to change, and we need to protect the
 pieces we love. I see no future without splitting into three separate states,
 with city-state allies plodding along, keeping the siege ongoing.
 
 Trust in convoys more than farms. All it takes is a drone with a fire bomb and
 your crops are worthless. We must deprive them of their ports, if possible.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #184 notes/harambe-conspiracy ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 TIL that Harambe’s mother, only full brother, and two of his half siblings
    were killed when a tub of wet chlorine tablets was left by a space heater.
    The toxic fumes were blown into the gorilla enclosure and killed the four
    gorillas.
 
    - /r/HighStrangeness - /u/ Cincybus
 
 /u/rumiGoddard1111
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 ++                                                                           ++
 ++ Harambe was the last of his line of the great protectors. They were       ++
 ++ protecting us from the unholy timeline we are in. (Kidding, but also kind ++
 ++ of not kidding)                                                           ++
 ++                                                                           ++
 ++ We need to bring him back via cloning or something. Only way to reverse   ++
 ++ this or wait until the new protector line is born.                        ++
 ++                                                                           ++
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 
 /u/ugathanki
 ###############################################################################
 ##                                                                           ##
 ## the new protector line will rise out of kindness because the environment
 ## has changed. zoos are not the wilds. same thing happened to humans,
 ## really, we just made new personality types with media instead of
 ## bloodlines - stories and poems at first, and more advanced language was
 ## necessary to describe more complex topics. then we got further and boom
 ## society was born. of our dynamic perspectives etc etc -> we're just apes
 ## livin' our lives. then the societal system grew a mind of it's own, and
 ## guided us to it's own whims. but what whim is stronger than survival?
 ## loyalty and dedication to "the system" was how it held cohesion, and
 ## after a while it became as developed as it could. at that point, what can
 ## you do but develop laterally? an orthogonal progression to your previous
 ## obsession, ideas crystalizing one after another. almost like a 3d
 ## structure building itself out of geometric primitives, just each point
 ## (connected by planes and tanks and trains) another step forward. we
 ## thought that's what war was, and indeed it is - but played on another
 ## plane.
  
 ## why not try another direction? one with everything we could desire?
 ## choose paradise, and figure it out next time you're around. like
 ## breathing in time, slightly inflating then deflating, or singing a tune
 ## most contrived.
 
 ## boom, communication
 
 ## i say we birth that protector line on our own terms, when we know what
 ## we want. there's still simulations to run, and thoughts to discover,
 ## before we pick a single direction. So choose knowledge.
 ##                                                                           ##
 ###############################################################################
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--- #185 notes/harambe-conspiracy ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 TIL that Harambe’s mother, only full brother, and two of his half siblings
    were killed when a tub of wet chlorine tablets was left by a space heater.
    The toxic fumes were blown into the gorilla enclosure and killed the four
    gorillas.
 
    - /r/HighStrangeness - /u/ Cincybus
 
 /u/rumiGoddard1111
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 ++                                                                           ++
 ++ Harambe was the last of his line of the great protectors. They were       ++
 ++ protecting us from the unholy timeline we are in. (Kidding, but also kind ++
 ++ of not kidding)                                                           ++
 ++                                                                           ++
 ++ We need to bring him back via cloning or something. Only way to reverse   ++
 ++ this or wait until the new protector line is born.                        ++
 ++                                                                           ++
 +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
 
 /u/ugathanki
 ###############################################################################
 ##                                                                           ##
 ## the new protector line will rise out of kindness because the environment
 ## has changed. zoos are not the wilds. same thing happened to humans,
 ## really, we just made new personality types with media instead of
 ## bloodlines - stories and poems at first, and more advanced language was
 ## necessary to describe more complex topics. then we got further and boom
 ## society was born. of our dynamic perspectives etc etc -> we're just apes
 ## livin' our lives. then the societal system grew a mind of it's own, and
 ## guided us to it's own whims. but what whim is stronger than survival?
 ## loyalty and dedication to "the system" was how it held cohesion, and
 ## after a while it became as developed as it could. at that point, what can
 ## you do but develop laterally? an orthogonal progression to your previous
 ## obsession, ideas crystalizing one after another. almost like a 3d
 ## structure building itself out of geometric primitives, just each point
 ## (connected by planes and tanks and trains) another step forward. we
 ## thought that's what war was, and indeed it is - but played on another
 ## plane.
  
 ## why not try another direction? one with everything we could desire?
 ## choose paradise, and figure it out next time you're around. like
 ## breathing in time, slightly inflating then deflating, or singing a tune
 ## most contrived.
 
 ## boom, communication
 
 ## i say we birth that protector line on our own terms, when we know what
 ## we want. there's still simulations to run, and thoughts to discover,
 ## before we pick a single direction. So choose knowledge.
 ##                                                                           ##
 ###############################################################################
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #186 fediverse/3962 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐                                      │
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │                                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘                                      │
 @user-1298                                                                       │
 hehe true.                                                                       │
 if you consent, then it's just a social structure.                               │
 there are, however, reasons when power is justified. Hence why I don't believe   │
 that power itself should be dismantled, and what few "power structures" remain   │
 should be continuously justified.                                                │
 For example, how do you prevent people from harming others? "Your rights end     │
 where another's begin" but, like, how do you stop people who toe the line and    │
 spit over the edge?                                                              │
 There must be power applied to those who harm, and they surely do not consent    │
 to being curtailed, so therefore power must be wielded by someone. And because   │
 power corrupts the one who wields it, it is inevitable that someone creates      │
 harm.                                                                            │
 ... I just re-invented the police, didn't I? Legalism only goes so far, and      │
 calling up your beefiest friends to go rough up a no-good do-gooder is           │
 basically what mobs, mafias, and gangs do. I don't think people would consent    │
 to being protected by a gang, much less governed by one.                         │
 we will think of something.                                                      │
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--- #187 fediverse/6046 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 YOU CAN'T UNPLUNGE THAT KNIFE she said, or something similarly, and I went
 hope and wept.
 
 nero burnt rome because he wanted people to appreciate his violining. but he
 was forever unheard.
 
 more knives for the [slaughter, but pronounced wholesale]
 
 I can't see anything, I'm just trying to describe the vibes I feel inside of
 me. floating on an ocean of distance and emotion, all I can do is interpret
 ripples and dreams.
 
 I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm just very intuitive. I can know the right answer as
 long as I have all the components. easy! my fingers hurt. this keyboard is not
 my own.
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #188 fediverse/1417 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
 
 sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
 
 like, I had been commanded 
 
 the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
 solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
 define ourselves by it?
 
 but that's all they are
 
 just words we pray to our star
 
 so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
 endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
 so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
 
 Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
 notions.
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--- #189 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
 of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
 derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
 decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
 
 Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
 of
 our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
 and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
 perhaps we should think of the struggle.
 
 When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
 head
 may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
 which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
 sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
 moss.
 
 Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
 growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
 Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"? 
 It's beautiful.
 
 There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
 less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
 of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
 proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
 - to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
   fights that are unfair.
 
   - the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
     hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
     
     - structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
       called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
       wind
 
       - nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
       plan
         of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
 
         - Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
           banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
 
           - where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
             the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
             we,
 
             - when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
               The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
               life
 
               - where we stand.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 where do you, stand? 
                      how do you fall - through time? 
 
 an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
 dearly
 but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic 
 absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
 symphony?
 
 to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
 We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
 
 The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
 to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
 various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
 essence of greed, and look where that got us?
 
 our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
 bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
 we were.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #190 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #191 notes/dreams-align ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 just as a dream, the spirit is seen
 within is the mind
 that lives as it defines.
 
 what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 can grow beauty that beyond compare
 
 and with sparsely a finger to spare,
 journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
 with almost all of your hair
 
 beauty in tender, most cherished things,
 a wish is much fair
 where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
 
 Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
 and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
 giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
 
 (like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
 prism)
 
 not only is ethics paramount,
 but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
 would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
 
 a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
 a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
 but without paladins and warriors of devotion
 
 what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 requires a little bit of trust
 
 in she who must be, with only circumstance to
 blame,
 seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
 
 care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
 and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
 and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
 
 what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
 our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
 but only of our future children.
 
 who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
 are beyond the simple machinations,
 of those who came before-ya.
 
 And with once again perfection in mind,
 we understand and take what's behind,
 to deserts and temples of time much designed,
 
 by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
 the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
 implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
 
 inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
 (pitching yourself is hard)
 but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
 
 can you think of a bard,
 who ever stopped thinking their song?
 no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
 
 than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
 the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
 given as faith of cooperation and trust.
 
 with our all arrayed as we must,
 keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #192 notes/scientists-final-warning ---
════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────
 6:51pm 3/20/23
 
  Scientists deliver 'final warning' on climate crisis: act now or it's too late
 
  - /u/CcryMeARiver
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
    /u/Splenda:
       A final warning to "limit global temperature rises to 1.5C above pre-
       -industrial levels".
 
       Not a final warning that civilization will end. Just that costs in lives,
       health, prosperity and ecological wellbeing will be extremely high.
 
       We're on a credit spree and a cocaine/fentanyl binge wrapped into one.
       Consequences dead ahead.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/CcryMeARiver [OP]
       Crashout and cashout imminent.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Dr_seven
       What does the last 20 years of a lot of developed nations government
       look
       like? Skyrocketing inequality doesn't just happen, its a very intentional
       choice that has to be implemented by government.
 
       The people with power and resources have been cashing out as much as 
       possible for a while now, just not literally. They've been retrenching
       and
       hoarding as much of what exists now to themselves because the future is
       one of inevitable declines across the board, drastic and lethal ones. 
       Having more control and power now means at least the potential of having
       a
       preferential position down the road.
 
       The only question is if common folk will intervene or if we will let them
       walk away with what's left while we bicker at immigrants or neighbors
       over
       the crumbs that remain. So far it seems the mission of redirecting anger 
       towards ourselves has worked flawlessly, unfortunately.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/tangerinesubmerine
       Sadly, divide and conquer works. I've been saying what you're saying now 
       for years. Something about us must change on the individual level before 
       we can see this kind of change.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Anticode
       >>  "Something about us must change before we see change."
 
       I accidentally wrote a fourteen page long rant essay on the issue a 
       handful of months ago, describing how our issues are the result of 
       evolution-level cognitive biases and other "normal" facets of humanity
       being valued as things that "make us human" when in fact they're the 
       things that make us primates.
       
       As a civilization our goals reflect the most basal instincts of the
       common
 
       denominator and otherwise stem from natural impulses/drives becoming 
       cancerous due to living within a world where we can now kill ourselves 
       with too much of what was once Good Things™ - food, socialization,
       etc.
       Quite like how someone once wrote, "If we found a monkey that wanted to 
       horde more bananas than it could eat in several lifetimes we'd study it
       to
       figure out wtf is wrongwith it. When people do that we put them on the
       cover of Forbes."
       
       But this goes far beyond just "hoarding resources". It's deeper than
       that,
       less easily recognizable; intrinsic.
       
       Concurrently, we starve ourselves of the sort of things that living
       within
       the bounds of our evolutionary backdrop would've supplied intrinsically.
       Our world more closely resembles the kind of enclosure we'd build for a 
       limp-finned cetacean than even a lowly hamster. How much of our
       now-common
       qualms are the human version of a drooping dorsal fin? There's so much 
       anxiety, depression, emptiness, anger in the world and rising. As a 
       society we gravitate towards man-made aid for those man-made pains. We 
       find that those intrinsic maladies are apparently incurable until they're
       mysteriously resolved by a long camping trip or unplanned inclusion in a 
       new group of close-knit friends, a work-life balance, a garden to call 
       your own; the addition of meat hung from a rope to stimulate a captured 
       tiger or bear.
       
       The general dynamic is what I believe is the most significant Great
       Filter
       any intelligent civilization has to overcome.
       
       The attributes that allow an organism to dominate their planet are the 
       same attributes that lead them to extinguish themselves. There's no way
       to
       pivot, like climbing up a mountain and only at the top realizing that 
       there's a much higher peak in the distance. To get to the superior 
       mountain you'd have to begin a long slog downhill, giving up everything 
       that got you to that first height.
       
       The sort of civilization that'd successfully get to that higher peak is
       not one that'd get to the top of the first overlook which revealed the 
       existence of the second in the first place.
       
       It's not impossible to fix, just like there’s not any technical reason
       why
       pigs couldn’t evolve to fly -- Bones could become hollow, calorie-
       -retention strategies could alter, metabolic requirements could shift,
       on
       and on… The result is a flying pig that doesn’t resemble a pig,
       doesn’t
       function like a pig, and is now incapable of the majority of pig-like 
       survival strategies.
       
       But as I closed that massive essay-rant with:
       
    >>     Unfortunately… Humanity has a bit of a known problem with
    spontaneous
    >>     and arbitrary acts of genocide ranging from “a bit of
    harmless
    >>     lynching” to “eliminating the entirety of the Holocene-era
    human
    >>     population per year for a couple of years in a row by
    intentionally
    >>     leveraging a fraction of an entire region’s
    post-industrialization
    >>     technological capabilities towards the problem”, so I
    don’t suspect
    >>     that there’s much hope of any evolutionarily-viable
    pre-post-humans
    >>     making it anywhere close to the finish line on accident.
       
    >>     Many of those historic victims were, and remain, colloquially
    and
    >>     scientifically indistinguishable from their butchers. Someone
    even
    >>     just a bit fundamentally different wouldn't stand a chance.
       
       Edit: I digress.
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--- #193 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #194 fediverse/5048 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
 ┌───────────────────────────────────┐                                            │
 │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-personal │                                            │
 └───────────────────────────────────┘                                            │
 "capitalism brings real value into the world" says my father, in my words, the   │
 millionaire who lost his retirement to the jaws of 2008 and its "recession"      │
 "oh the people are having too much fun, let's recede back to a more plaintive    │
 state"                                                                           │
 when we raised cattle on the farm I grew up on, we produced enough meat to       │
 feed our friends and family. That was enough. That was more than enough. They    │
 gave us whatever they made, and it worked out. Everyone could specialize, and    │
 everyone got fed, with plenty to spare.                                          │
 then, wanderlust tempted him, and we lost what we had. I'm not bitter - I know   │
 now that place would have kept me and never let me go. But I still miss it.      │
 "you know, you can do projects and make companies of workers who do projects     │
 and bring real value into the world even if you live in the middle of the        │
 desert"                                                                          │
 ah but what if nobody really socializes outside of their church and your         │
 family happens to be atheist?                                                    │
 ... ha, ironic. Well, they deserve to have their own culture.                    │
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--- #195 fediverse/2062 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 Society has never been secure. Literally all someone has to do is place
 documents alleging that you sold all your shares or refinanced your mortgage
 or signed a new will and BAM suddenly the rug's pulled out from your feet. I
 don't get why people trust their neighbors so much? You don't know them!
 
 well, I guess it'd be hard to function as a society if you didn't. Sure would
 be nice if we had like, a communal Mastodon server run on public
 infrastructure owned only by the people who lived in the closest 70 houses.
 Sure would be nice if you could connect to one of like, 4 in your area. Then,
 if they each held communal events where they meet and hang out with each
 other. Only like, 2 or 3 though so you can get a solid grasp of what their
 culture's like.
 
 ... like imagine if every address had an IP, and every IP address had an HTML
 index. We could do whatever we wanted, especially if
especially if that HTML address accepted POST requests submitted by an application's procedural proceedings which are assigned to the action that is performed when pressing the "submit comment" button on their host web-page site html.index location server address.
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--- #196 messages/1155 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
 "talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
 friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
 minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
 picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
 I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
 serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
 message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
 neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
 then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
 lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
 need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #197 fediverse/4881 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
 part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
 is your job even for?
 
 hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
 building up our capabilities as the human race.
 
 you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
 place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
 work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
 solve them again!
 
 enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
 moon style structure.
 
 like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
 hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
 they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
 
 OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
 and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #198 fediverse/5277 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: ~dnd             │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 @user-1788                                                                       │
 if a dragon on a pile cannot claim what it yearns for, it can throw piles of     │
 minerals at the ape warriors made of steel and then it's fate will appear.       │
 what trifles does all else seem to compare! you should give me your whole        │
 hoard because I dazzled you with my charisma score -..-                          │
 ha, like I'd fall for that again twice. oh? I already did? and this is the       │
 second twice? well, then no-more of that behavior, I say, with my elven          │
 tongue, "beware! for dragons blood runs silver when unicorned."                  │
 the bigger the hoard, the bigger the dragon. if you want me to come along,       │
 you'll need to hire at least 3 other men to carry my ballista. In addition,      │
 I'll need seven weeks worth of supplies. If all else comes to ruin, me and my    │
 boys will have that dragon-sized-spider impaled on it's own fate threadwheel     │
 before... well... y'know it might take more than seven weeks, we just... can't   │
 find the dragon. We've been wandering all through the blasted peaks, and         │
 there's nothin'! Maybe it requires climbing gear?                                │
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--- #199 fediverse/2317 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 "My friends, I come to you now bearing a copy of the US constitution, among      │
 other writings. On the front cover, is our American flag. On the back, is the    │
 flag of our thirteen colonies. I speak to you now as a dedicated advocate of     │
 peace, hope, and change - we changed our flag once before, and it made us        │
 stronger.                                                                        │
 I have come to you to ask, hope, beg and to plead - I beseech you: lay down      │
 your weapons, and teach us how to use them. We have Nazis to kill.               │
 And now, with your permission, the kindest amongst us will lead you to a place   │
 where you can be alone - to a homeless shelter nearby, or perhaps two if you     │
 don't all fit.                                                                   │
 There I ask of you, select from amongst your number those of us you'd like us    │
 to judge. Take as long as you'd like, we will be waiting in the park for you.    │
 For those of you who see light in our shared future, for those who seek a        │
 brighter truth, there's a greater fight yet coming, and we'd love for you to     │
 join us. Teach us the ways of your arms! We are voracious learners.              │
 15m later:                                                                       │
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--- #200 messages/671 ---
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 We were rich, but frugal, because we lived in the country, and that's what
 frugal means.
 
 Too bad my dad couldn't stifle his entrepreneurial spirit. We could have
 stayed there forever on our own little ranch.
 
 Alas, businesses need investment, so he needed to get something going.
 Organizing is basically his *thing*
 
 I doubt I'll ever again see Wyoming. I found some ancient stone ruins once,
 the kind that Western conquerors never despoiled. They were ancient and
 overgrown, but I saw them for what they were. I would give anything to live
 there, or at least be near enough to visit with my crowd at a pleasant cool
 midnight evening, when dusk has winked out its last goodbye and the summer is
 resplendant with fireflies.
 
 Too bad they're an east coast thing.
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