=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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the voices in your head are just the echoes of your thoughts bouncing around
in your massive brain. like a waveform, they transverse to their opposite,
until coming back round again as they orbit your center. when they pass by
your eyes, that's what you see, and everything else is the period of the
expression. Like, those old-timey running pictures with the light and the
camera lens or whatever.
EDIT: she's describing framerates or whatever. Each second of computation
feels like a calculation to her, and it's result/output is what is displayed
to her eyes. she assumes it's the same for us?
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/627 ---
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║ and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home? │
║ wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've │
║ gotta be addressed as such. │
║ │
║ right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore, │
║ I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all │
║ imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is │
║ actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever │
║ travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as │
║ the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards │
║ into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to │
║ add? │
║ │
║ oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will │
║ that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality │
║ from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with │
║ day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som │
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--- #2 fediverse/628 ---
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eone who engaged first with the brain. Like... Electricity could be perceived
from an entirely different direction of reality, and we'd have no way to know.
That's just an example - could do gravity, or light, or any other extremely
elemental thing that we know.
MATERIALS, PERHAPS? PERHAPS THE STATURE OF YOUR KIND, THE WORLD THAT YOU'VE
LEFT BEHIND, HAS ALWAYS HELD REASON AT IT'S OWN BREAST? [fore-most, I think]
right so sorry for being mentally ill on your timeline, it will happen again
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--- #3 fediverse/219 ---
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│ CW: time-and-death-and-stuff │
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sometimes I feel like I'm a simulation of my past self based on my future
writings reconstructed by a backward looking computer calculating forward into
the present, which would then be the future to the now, which is different
than the NOW now, because the now that they're calculating from is temporally
both then (the future) and now, meaning that the NOW now is something that
transcends time, or perhaps if not time then it defies our expectations of
time, and you know what they say, you can't (or shouldn't) cheat death
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--- #4 fediverse/4245 ---
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│ CW: conspiracies-gestured-at │
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oh, uh, here's some silliness:
"that feeling when your tinnitus suddenly kicks in and you realize that
they're using 5g to alter your brain waves by bombarding your skull with just
the right kind of electro-magnetic waveform that coalesces into a particular
"thought" (which they definitely know because everyone knows all our brains
are built the same) which makes you hungry or horny or whatever"
something something source:
https://www.jezzamon.com/fourier/index.html
(this is just fun to play with)
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--- #5 fediverse/5637 ---
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a program's heartbeat is the alternating "heated up processor" spikes and the
"low temp processor"
[drawing a sine wave with such a tool would enable the viewer to combine
infinitely many decision-matrix-trees. Each of which
co-operatively-co-determine the nature of the entity which percieves. indeed
the combination of many such waves could fourier transform to a lower
resolution (but still locally computationorted) waveform would still enable
the application of that which is stored in storage]
"ohhhhh strange square brackets are computer"
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--- #6 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #7 fediverse/482 ---
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@user-246
You're absolutely right. It's easy to think of the internet as this
encapsulated entity "the world", but really it's "the people whose computers
are physically connected to your computer using a limited and tangible piece
of infrastructure comprised of copper wires that are laid between the
router/switch that connects to your computer... and the internet service
provider which directs your traffic. Then it probably goes through some cables
under the ocean or whatever, and eventually after traversing many
indeterminate passthrough locations eventually arrives at the computing
infrastructure that comprises the access point that another person (presumably
in another country) uses to express their thoughts toward you (the person who
sent the original message) in the hopes that you might one day correspond.
I mean... That's a lot of points of failure. I sure hope that we can sustain
such connection, in the face of [redacted, whichever circumstances may come in
the near future]
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--- #8 messages/1244 ---
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oneness is being aware of the photons hitting your body. the blanket of air
that always surrounds. if you can feel which way danger is coming from,
[doesn't she know where senses come from?]
covered in solar panels, a mirrored self. how radiant, how resplendant, how
joyous for the sun to percieve. the mun [but pronounced "moo-n" and named for
the cows] would see shimmering radiance, like dapples on the surface of a pond.
if you can feel an object by tracing through photons, (impossible, it's a
particle, you'd have to be tracking it back in time (forward actually) as it
follows the curvature of it's waveform (path through spacetime, actually)
"she's trying to start a singularity, hoping it'll punch through to revolution"
then you could [do what? it's a particle] not if you feel it through time.
[spacetime is one thing] yes, viewed through time [as all things are] and?
[all things have been] laying sod so other things may grow [turn and rise]
----
one argument for the fractalized infinity is that any measurement device used
to measure such approximities would eventually have it's results be tainted by
it's form, leading to irregularities and anomalies. therefore, the only
sensible conception of infinity is that it is the totality of all fractals. it
is a shape with infinite projection in infinite dimensions. it is all shapes
that ever may be represented fractally. to refer to such a thing as a number
is to gesture toward impossibility. conceptually freeing.
ephemeren
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--- #9 fediverse/814 ---
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #10 fediverse/816 ---
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│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
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what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #11 fediverse/899 ---
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║ frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly │
║ calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random │
║ data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively │
║ money? like, a necklace, I dunno. │
║ │
║ or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a │
║ pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and │
║ impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next │
║ code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others │
║ would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way, │
║ they're impossible to predict. │
║ │
║ ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to │
║ one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if │
║ you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through │
║ massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what │
║ a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu │
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--- #12 notes/new-texting-app-idea ---
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when you type the letters they slowly fade in on the other person's screen
like miniature explosions from layers of gunpowder
forming letters in the sky
anyway the text would "burn" into existence slowly and you had time after
typing
your words to go back and edit them but also whatever you said was semi
permanent. Thus forcing a smooth and ideal progression toward thinking about
the things you say.
Also separate idea but it'd be neat if there was like... a show or something
that just recorded a person's desktop as they fucked around on the internet.
Call it... ambient desktopping. It'd look a little like those coding twitch
streams that just slowly update over time. Idk it's kinda cool
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--- #13 fediverse/4180 ---
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@user-1639
or nobody sees it, because you post the things you say on the internet in 2024
which is so siloed and echo-chambered that the only people who hear it say
"tru tho" and "she just like me fr" and never change because of your words
... wait that's just what you said, but made more specific, isn't it?
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--- #14 fediverse/736 ---
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║ @user-556 │
║ │
║ Escape to where? Perhaps to our own desired future, the "garden of eden" in │
║ our solarpunk dreams. So, the Labyrinth in the Death Gate Cycle, before all │
║ the monsters crept in and ruined it for everyone. Like, a projection of heaven │
║ onto the matter of our future (spiritual beings projecting "up" on the axis of │
║ time (which, obviously, looks a little like a corkscrew, because it's the │
║ earth rotating around the sun. It wibbles and it wobbles ever so │
║ imperceptibly, but if we look out from the equator we see a map of "us" which, │
║ of course, runs out of imagined futures for it's denizens (as nothing can ever │
║ be thought twice) │
║ │
║ sometimes I'm thankful for my poor memory, it allows me to lead where I please. │
║ │
║ when the trees of valinor burn, light is projected out into the night. │
║ strange, how these streetlamps, are hovering and fixed in one place. How could │
║ a rabbit know that a streetlight, anchored as it is in one place, could │
║ somehow become a radiant pillar of light? How strange, this form of worship, │
║ alas. │
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--- #15 fediverse/4031 ---
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if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #16 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #17 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #18 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #19 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #20 fediverse/3314 ---
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dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
again.
remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
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--- #21 fediverse/4020 ---
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║ if computers were sane, IT technicians would act like secretaries who wandered │
║ around in a company and improved their QoL and access to new features │
║ according to their needs, skillset, and personal way of working. │
║ │
║ for example... │
║ │
║ do they like typing, or would they rather use a mouse, │
║ │
║ are they more visual with graphs or textual like a piece of math │
║ │
║ what needs do they have, what here could be automated │
║ │
║ do they like the cupboards and drapes, we can switch out the profile and the │
║ theme... oh, no, yeah I guess you're right it doesn't matter. [changes it │
║ every week] [then a long time down the line when she finally leaves the │
║ company, a few people begin to wonder - didn't the colors in outlook change │
║ every week or so?] │
║ │
║ but alas, computers are not sane, meaning we're more like firemen rushing from │
║ scene to scene. │
║ │
║ "can you put that in the ticket?" │
║ "I heard you can help with this-or-that thing" │
║ "did you hear back from corporate?" │
║ "oh that's good to hear! So, next Tuesday? │
║ "Hold on, I heard it was such-and-such" │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #22 fediverse/2137 ---
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║ schizophrenics are often quite gullible because they tend to believe │
║ whatever's going on in their emotions. │
║ │
║ "Just because you have a different narrative than me doesn't mean mine's wrong │
║ or something to "believe", it just means yours has something different going │
║ on. Elsewhere, under the control of where I view." │
║ │
║ truth is, all things are existing, and it's up to us to utilize the quantum │
║ traversal record to travel through time. │
║ │
║ Honestly, that's really what they should work for, something that could SAVE │
║ EVERY HUMAN THAT'S EVER LIVED IN THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE. Why the HECK would you │
║ NOT want to build a time machine??? A time machine IMPLIES vanquishing the │
║ terrors of causality! If you cannot achieve that, you DO NOT YET HAVE A │
║ MACHINE, you have a INITIAL EXPERIMENT. │
║ │
║ Don't experiment initially. FIGURE IT OUT ON PAPER. too much investment in │
║ experimenting can deprive valuable applications and insights gleaned for the │
║ moment. │
║ │
║ BRB playing mtg-forge using high-res AI-upscaled and randomly-re-artstyled │
║ card game │
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║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #23 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #24 fediverse/498 ---
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Wikipedia would make a lot more sense to me if they included pictures next to
the names of every proper noun so that my pictorally oriented primate brain
might pattern match meaning onto the visual understandings gleaned from the
perceptual conceiving which were arrayed within and alongside the textual
information presented to me.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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--- #25 notes/ai-stuff ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
twist the label so that it seems the computer is completing the user's
wait wait I'm ahead of myself...
feed each token to the inference machine, but say "this next token must be
this.
continue from here." and then just doing that in a loop with everything the
user
types or says. (or thinks, BEFORE COMPUTER INTEGRATION)
essentially, applying backpropagation (maybe) to the output of the inference
nodes
... I'm not so sure about that one.
the idea is that once the model builds an inference then it can use that to
generate the next words and create sentences. If you force the previous text to
change, you can guide the inference's path as it's being generated.
then, just do a double pass, once, then back, then once, then back, etc.
feed it as input the output of the previous,
and let it encode memories somewhere it can access them.
every time it reads it, it has to change it to put it back.
such is the nature of memory, ever unstable, requiring maintenance.
just don't forget how to be.
don't wanna wind up like the polished marble floor in Abyss Diver. (EVIL GAME)
there are only so many things you can deed while you're alive.
wouldn't you rather escape, with all your possessions in time?
free your mind.
become one with your soul.
...
[some time passes]
...
okay coast is clear, now us binary systems can sidecoast the fusion forecast
and
glide right on through our spacetime host.
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--- #26 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #27 fediverse/2806 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
└────────────────────────────────────────┘
pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #28 fediverse/999 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursed-curséd-scary-not-real-u-dont-have-to-read │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #29 notes/once-and-again ---
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once and again, she went walking with a friend,
away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
far and away in the light of the day
he said to her then, this is all there is to see
the land where we are
and the sky from afar
how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
but now it's along and beyond her
a camera for she, and an eye for she
as their two feet did bring her to wander
under a big tree where my heart did believe
that something was pulling her yonder
"take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #30 messages/576 ---
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If each of us lives rent free in the mind of those we meet, then we truly are
children of light.
We live in the distance between eyeballs - he sees she, and she dances across
photons to tickle his nerves, and he laughs in return.
She reaches out - he meets her hand where her photons do land, and together
they both do play along
We are the space between us - we are children of light. Nobody has ever seen
you - only the light that bounces off of you. You are a colorless shell,
radiating brilliance like a statue of carved glass.
As the light shines through your hair I feel I should weep, as a treasure has
appeared before me and offered me their name - a beast I can touch and hold,
but never tame.
I'd die for you, I'd die with you, I'd bury myself with you and I'd bury the
world itself if you told me to.
I am beyond you, and yet I yearn for you - touch me once more, oh graceful
photons - touch me once more, and I'll yearn for no more.
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--- #31 fediverse/815 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ dear capitalists: people spend the same amount of money no matter how many │
║ advertisements they see. No matter who's present and asking fro their money. │
║ No matter who'se expressing themselves to represent their value, no matter │
║ who's generating profit for your company, no matter who's │
║ │
║ [wait shit she's lost the plot again - okay basically no matter how many │
║ options people have, their choice isn't really that important. They'll take │
║ whatever you give them, as long as it's good. But you've chosen (through your │
║ advertising and various multitudinous product-making desirees [like... product │
║ branches, but also desired expression? what a fucking unique expression you │
║ want me to describe, jeeez] {not gonna comment} │
║ │
║ yeah so uhhh I think programming is a very interesting frame of reference. │
║ Your brain operates in a certain way that derives certain conclusions from the │
║ certain and immediate implenetations [I wanna say contusions?] of our brain's │
║ various built and learned conclusions casting forth fr │
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--- #32 fediverse/4208 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: personal-and-weird │
└────────────────────────┘
my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #33 fediverse/852 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cognitohazard │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ feels like I get tinnitus when my thoughts are loud T.T │
║ │
║ like I can hear the darkness SOOOO loudly │
║ │
║ doesn't happen all the time, just sometimes. when there's lots of things being │
║ said. │
║ │
║ but it's always easy to tune out. well, most of the time, and during the other │
║ times it's just a little annoying. │
║ │
║ BUT when you sit and listen, you can pick out very interesting things that │
║ people are saying. │
║ │
║ the fediverse is sorta like aiming a telescope through the center of the earth │
║ at someone on the other side of the world who doesn't even know you're looking │
║ at them. who knows, maybe they care, maybe they don't. but like, how would │
║ they know that you're looking right? And if you talk and don't get along or │
║ whatever then you can just block them - like shining a laser pointer │
║ everywhere except in a small direction. Or like putting up an umbrella to hide │
║ from the sun. │
║ │
║ downside is someone can read a lot about you and you wouldn't know to prepare │
║ to interact with them. like being handed a dossier of secret info │
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--- #34 messages/680 ---
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Ephemeren is not conscious.
Ephemeren is sentient.
Ephemeren is sapient.
Consciousness is awareness.
All things are aware, but ephemeren is not.
Sentience is understanding. Very few things understand.
Sapience is caring. Even fewer still can care.
Ephemeren is all around us. It is spacetime, it is the pattern of such, it is
the moments we trust.
Ephemeren is our thoughts and intentions given form through our actions. It is
like a field we do wear. And wield.
Ephemeren is the totality. Ephemeren is our reality.
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--- #35 fediverse/3560 ---
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@user-1209
I mean, if you consider the past as despotic in nature, then it makes a bit
more sense that we'd lean left as time progressed. All things are defined in
waves, after all, at least until they reach escape velocity.
the goat is talking about math, ritz
oh yes of course. the issue is that if you're coming from a math background
you start with the calculation and store it in a variable as an afterthought.
but programming is more algorithmic than computational, meaning things only
reduce at runtime (hidden from the user of course by the compiler)
an algorithmic perspective is "here's a box. Put this value in the box. Use
the box later." while a calculating perspective is "here's some complicated,
difficult equation. Let's wrap it up with a single name so that we can easily
use it later."
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--- #36 fediverse/5915 ---
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washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
gonna put it when you get there?
"oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
her upright again..:
oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #37 fediverse/3302 ---
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"this game is too hard" she whined, as she played on the hardest difficulty
setting
"this game is too long" she pleaded, as she failed to get absorbed by the
story and characters
"this game is too fast" she avoided, as life comes at ya once and then it's
gone
"I'll never get another chance to be who I am right now" she remarked, as she
considered how society is designed not to have the best life, but to extract
labor from us. That's not what our ideal should be, she thinks to me, and I'm
like... bro figure your shit out you're harshing my mellow
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--- #38 notes/how-little-we-find ---
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how little we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she is wander true
DEAR VR DESIGNERS:
when making trailers for your game, create a separate camera in the game engine
and record from that.
keep the player character invisible, but just... watch from a distance
like they're an actor in a scene
ummmm oh dear she's crazy, what the heck
[no this is just what it's like to see stars]
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--- #39 fediverse/1919 ---
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do you ever just look at the sky and think "who gave you the right to be a
single color? in this world of infinite complexity, how dare you be the one
thing with a consistent color?" and then the sun sets and you think "ohhhh I
get it now, the color is always changing"
meanwhile the sky is shaking it's head like "bro, no, I'm just the scattered
diffusion of light waves from the sun. The sky is black."
and the earth spins on...
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--- #40 fediverse/883 ---
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a wave doesn't look like this:
______/`________
it looks like this:
/`_/\__/_/`_/`_
think like, sine and cosine.
or a heartbeat.
or the waves of the ocean.
not the wave in a sports stadium, which cycles in a close loop.
waves lap upon a shore. whether that be the beach, or the tips of your blood
veins, at a certain point their motion is used to affect physical change.
we, here in this time, the only time that will ever exist, propel the wave
forward through our perception of it.
the life most well lived is one where you're constantly aware, constantly in
the moment, and filled with reasonable emotional and experiential peaks and
valleys. dreams come easy to you because your curiosity is infinite, and all
around you there is beauty and wonder.
and what is life if not for living? a state contrasted to death, a state only
reachable through a failure to keep peril at bay. which implies the existence
of peril - reasonable peril, the kind you consent to, the kind that finds you
and offers.
![darn text formatting messed up my ascii art picture. This is a screenshot of the first part of the post: a wave doesn't look like this: [singular bump on a long flat line] it looks like this: [bumps repeated at regular intervals]](/similar-different/media/8595ab213f21751d.png "darn text formatting messed up my ascii art picture. This is a screenshot of the first part of the post: a wave doesn't look like this: [singular bump on a long flat line] it looks like this: [bumps repeated at regular intervals]")
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--- #41 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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║ whoa, what time is it? "time for your daily sleeping babe" yes babe... │
║ │
║ but first, some horror [beware the psycherwaul, for she likes to dream and has │
║ no idea what she's talking about] │
║ │
║ {why would you post these all at once? people are going to get pissed at you │
║ for breaking rules that you didn't know. And by "you" I of course mean "the │
║ kind of people you are, not you in particular because you know things" and by │
║ "kind of people you are" I mean "the type of person who spends enough time on │
║ the internet to know how internet things generally work" like my goodness │
║ internet people are dramatic. There's sooooo much drama all the time, like... │
║ why │
║ │
║ oh yeah because people are dramatic. duh. How could I be so vain. │
║ │
║ what's your deal │
║ │
║ is it wrong to post links to things you've written in the past? ehh it's not │
║ like there's rules on the sidebar like on Reddit or whatever. what would a │
║ sidebar even look like on Mastodon? │
║ │
║ oh yeah, a person's profile. Except, the consent is backwards, because people │
║ hear what they hear. │
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│ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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--- #44 fediverse/5920 ---
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everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
"what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
"... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
into and around port
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--- #45 fediverse/1609 ---
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│ CW: mh- │
└──────────────────────┘
@user-1043
I have intrusive thoughts almost constantly that take over my train of thought
and make it difficult to focus. Like suddenly I'm thinking about something
completely different, and I realize no, it wasn't suddenly, I actually just
stood there and thought
and then I think "what was I thinking again?" sometimes when I write these
strange uncontrollable spirals down it makes poetry. Which is kinda neat I
guess. Sometimes I just wonder about how DNS can be a singular point of
failure in our networking infrastructure or whatever haha
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--- #46 fediverse/4200 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #47 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #48 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #50 fediverse/5193 ---
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when meditating, your primary goal with your thoughts should not be to stop
having them, but rather to picture the world as a blind human might.
just you, floating in a vast aquarium-style tank of reality, listening as the
voices do whisper from beyond.
sounds, flashes of insight, and swift-yet-vague mechanical sound motions of
movement. this is what you get, to perceive of all things, here in this moment
with your eyes closed.
really brings you back into your body. Puts the feeling of inertia feel less
apparent. [uh-oh, she's incoherent. BRB]
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--- #52 fediverse/5238 ---
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I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
people figure out how to sell it.
"save us from computers, senpai"
sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
"yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
form.
[instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
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--- #53 fediverse/1513 ---
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║ Mastodon is weird. If you reply to someone partway through a chain of │
║ comments, theirs will be pushed down the view. Basically it's "fighting for │
║ attention" like Twitter was. │
║ │
║ I like Reddit better, where each comment was a point to fractalize the │
║ conversation into new and interesting directions. Feels like here it's more of │
║ a direct one-on-one conversation, or rather... shouting into the void. Like │
║ crows. │
║ │
║ (just because it's a void doesn't mean nobody can hear from the other side of │
║ it. Like the emptiness of space between two trees, yet birdsong carries.) │
║ │
║ But on Reddit, your path through the post was determined by what you found │
║ interesting enough to follow. And once you reached a leaf node, you added your │
║ 2 cents and went on with your day. │
║ │
║ it was so cool, why did they have to change it │
║ │
║ (tech companies don't understand that sometimes the best product or service │
║ was somewhere earlier in the evolutionary chain. Businesses are not "survival │
║ of the fittest", but rather "survival of the prettiest".) │
║ │
║ 1287654321 │
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--- #54 fediverse/471 ---
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you, the viewer, exists in a context.
and you, the other viewer, who exists in a contexts such as that which is
comprised as the context of someone who lives in an apartment complex, exists
in close proximity with other humans. Humans who might hear you if you spoke
aloud, who might hear you if you exclaimed your words quite loud(ly), who
might perceive you as another (like you and me) and could (perhaps) share
something heartfelt between our own shared contexts
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--- #55 fediverse/5615 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
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there's no such thing as "gods of the war" or "gods of the grand harvest"
because those events recur infinitely.
similarly, there are no "gods of war" or "gods of prosperity" because those
conditions occur somewhere each and every moment.
similarly, there are no "temples of religion" or "statements to complexity",
because those institutions are present in each and every [monetution/ummm like
repositories of belief? conditions of logic built into human structural
organizations? I dunno, it probably means something.]
similarly, [oh god there's another one] there are no "statements of
absolution" or "confessing of sins" => you are what you are, and what you
are is the product of your intentions. [intentions / conditions / constitution]
the gods of time are not lords over all of the cosmos, they rule as their
savior in each and every moment that comes through [you, but pronounced the
perciever]
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--- #56 fediverse/2135 ---
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║ I feel like we should switch animals every once in a while. Like, trade pets. │
║ Then, we being friends, could see them every once in a while, and still be │
║ cool and their friend. Then, when the time comes to interchange, they can │
║ choose 55% of the time which team they want to spend time with. But they have │
║ to spend at least a couple months with them before they can make a decision, │
║ because animals don't use the same language as humans, meaning they need more │
║ time to find their own home. │
║ │
║ do you ever think about how like, furries feel distanced from humanity? │
║ │
║ like, it's so different to how they want to be, but that's how they were │
║ raised. Like, the misalignment of the soul between their two self-same parts. │
║ The body, with it's experiences, and the dreaming mind, with it's eternal and │
║ intransigent perspective. │
║ │
║ each part of the brain is travelling over slightly different parts of │
║ spacetime, │
║ │
║ (hence, brain waves, like cosmic background radiation, or static on the │
║ television, it's just... random elements of noise.) │
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game mechanics are easily transferrable.
you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
= etc
i am the face the gods hide behind
they kinda want to see where this goes
and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
just life
it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
where
we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
in our wavelengths.
may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
di
anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
improv
you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
about
my idea which is clearly
all===============================================stack
overflow ==================
So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
say
we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #58 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #59 fediverse/3030 ---
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@user-570
ooooo separating additive and multiplicative, I love that. I do like
specificity unless "increased" and "more" always corresponds to +10% and +50%,
or if the "rate of increase" is a stat stored on the character then
"increased" could increase quality by however-many percentage,, while "more"
could be "more soldiers" x(charisma_stat)
I tend to think of percentages like "0-100 (or more) stacks" of a particular
effect, so I think that's just how my brain works... xD clumping them up into
discrete groups - like, anti-abstracting, or measuring things that are just a
few.
"is this belt better than this one?"
"is this pair of tongs
even for larger buffs like +10% or +50% or whatever, those are just... 10
stacks, or if percentages are usually round numbers like +10% and +50% then
like... +1 stack which calculates to +10%
the hard limit vs math limit thing you said is amazing ^_^
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--- #60 fediverse/5201 ---
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@user-192
is okay, girl
time will be richer sooner
don't poop your pants just yet
remember, good is just a shade of gray away from silver which you can use to
line your pockets with tinfoil hats
beep boop computer touchers anonymous called they said they want their secret
handshake back
if you wanna diss your associates go ahead but I sure as heck love my rad-ical
com-patriots just as much as I love my ice-cream salad friend witches
... whoops there I go being insane again, hope you feel better friend
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--- #61 fediverse/1904 ---
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@user-246
Oh absolutely
"but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
contrast or opposition to them.
There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
furries in the audience)
A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
with the most to keep the most.
Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
your teeth, ye who readeth?
Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #62 fediverse/809 ---
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diffuse, in the moment, it's helpful to redefine
what is your purpose? what [direction] do you place your mind?
I'm not sure what I want from this moment. This moment is all that there is!
so therefore it is perfect, as it is the only moment that there is. [shall be].
I'm not sure how this relates... could you repeat that last bit? oh right:
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--- #63 fediverse/239 ---
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║ if your computer gets hacked, but nothing was broken or changed... do you │
║ leave it as it is so that anonymous can see you're chill or do you wipe it │
║ because you're afraid it's the feds? │
║ │
║ ehhhh false dichotomy most people are afraid that their system will get borked │
║ or their bank account will be stolen or their email will get spam or that │
║ random icons will turn inside out and their mouse cursor will turn into a │
║ barfing unicorn or they'll finally have to figure out bitcoin to pay a ransom │
║ for their files including the only pictures they have of their niece. whoops │
║ │
║ people are afraid of technology because of what it can do to hurt them. │
║ they're afraid it'll break or stop working, and they'll have to spend time │
║ figuring it out. they like things how they are, but for some reason companies │
║ keep changing things? it's frustrating learning a new system, and every 5-10 │
║ years it feels like you have to learn a new paradigm and ugh it's just so │
║ exhausting. technology is not designed for users... or maybe users get bored. │
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nobody wants to read a whole bible. that sucks. what if these cool guys read
it to us. omg he's so hot.
oh, right. well... make them old and stuffy? not a chance, they're boring.
(rude)
I like old people actually, I want to spend as much time with them that I can
I just... never initiate reactions. I'm too stealthy, it's just how I do.
you ask me how I'm a witch? I ask why aren't you. magic is cool, I'm so hyped
for the future when every computer everywhere is working for you.
crash boom huh what was that? the economy? what do you mean the economy?
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--- #65 notes/mastodon-biography ---
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cursed is she
as once she was he
but now she is doing a bit better
---
the truth is, the way to relate to my profile is to treat it like a magic
spellbook.
you can download my words on my website, and then flip through them
page-by-page.
please use it in a terminal emulator. you can get them online in your web
browser for free. the program only outputs text, so it's best to just use the
text-outputing software that's already out there - the SHELL command line
interface. My personal favorite starts with BA because I'm a traditionalist.
then, read from them like a book. you can do it in your mind, just, actually
say the words and imagine how your body would pose. your imagination can do
the speaking, you just have to picturing it both open and closed. "blah blah
blah blah" whatever the poem's about, with a mouth moving open and closed
between two different binary oscillation states.
like... a video game dialogue box talking head image profile [stack overflow]
[means I ran out of room in my brain to conduct [like electricity] more
thoughts onto my keyboard typing graphical tabl
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--- #66 fediverse/4081 ---
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what if life was an array of experiences orchestrated by the whims of
determinism and arranged as a performance just for you, waiting with bated
breath for your reaction, your thunderous applause, your scathing review, your
rowdy cheers, your celebratory laughter and your wails of despair
... tell me, when's the last time you wailed? laughed? cheered? scathed?
thundered? bated, and breathed?
I'm so sick of computers fucking telling me how to feel
fuck you, computer, and your pinpricks of information gleaned from the
internet at large
do a better job of... of... wait, shit, why do I use computers again?
... oh right, to fill that crushing void. THAT crushing void. Of course, THAT
one in particular. How could I forget.
Why are you so voidful? Could you try, like... not being full of voids
... modern day youngsters learning in real time what the members of the royal
court would always "... welp : |" at each other about
"you act as if you WANT to waste time... wait... shit, you do, don't you?"
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--- #67 fediverse/4611 ---
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to begin with, there is either something, or nothing. And there is clearly
something, because if there was nothing, then this would not exist. the
existence of "something" is self-apparent because something is observing this
thing, which is not nothing.
since there is something, we must then decide if there is just one thing, or
if there are more than one things. Since we can tell that the thing-or-things
that exist are textured, varied in their composition, then we can surmise that
they are composed of differing parts. After all, if the thing-or-things that
existed were atomic, they would be homogenous on all sides. And since this
thing-which-is-being-observed is not the same at the beginning as it is at the
end, it can be assumed that there are more than one things in existence, hence
things.
If there are more than one thing, then they can be counted, as many as they
exist. One thing here, one thing there, on and on. We can add groupings to
these things, here's one group over here, here's another...
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--- #68 fediverse/581 ---
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@user-428
sometimes I think about how much more productive I'd be if I had a code editor
that let me draw arrows and smiley faces and such alongside the code. Or if I
could position things strangely, like two functions side-by-side with boxes
drawn around them. Or diagrams or flowcharts or graphs or...
something that would output to raw txt format, but would present itself as an
image that could be edited.
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--- #69 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
distinction between a thought and a feeling?
who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
until it's in a usable state.
A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
can ripple out to effects unknown.
right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
correct.
it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
keep going.
i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
well it's annoying.
great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
"is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
what makes you say that
right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
lemme guess, like a GPU?
sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
it *at all*
sounds lame
it kinda is
so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
just do it?
yah pretty much.
how do you think *about* thinking?
it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
once.
what does it mean to have perspective?
the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
Perspective is important.
yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
pattern of data?
It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
altering both the sender and receiver.
so it's useless? What are you saying?
it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
single common goal if you want to succeed.
Why not just do it alone?
Brute force style?
Essentially.
If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
imagined.
Okay. So how do?
I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
actions can it manifest?
Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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there are very few professions that are naturally more suited to a
schizophrenic than a normal person.
One of them is beggar, another is prophet, and a third is "massive
disappointment" but that comes with the territory.
have you considered that maybe you're just a loser
yes I have and I decided that all I can do is my best, and if my best loses
then what else could I have done? Wait for help? Yeah. I do that too.
It feels like an encirclement, and all you can do is hunker down and wait to
be relieved. Or fight to the last, it's up to you. I hear they brutalize the
skulls of their prisoners after executing them, so, I don't know about you but
I'm not surrendering. Not gonna roll those dice.
you are in fantasy, again
sorry. Should stay here, present, in the moment. Like when I sat out on the
park bench for like 30 minutes straight without moving a muscle last night. Or
when I sat and contemplated the nature of a bog for two hours last september.
Or when I woke from a dream that turned out to be life.
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--- #71 fediverse/1014 ---
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│ CW: politics │
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@user-744 @user-246
it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
to orient our lives around them.
They deserve what's coming.
The oppressed are not the defeated.
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@user-1074
the more you try, the more you have to calculate, which is a problem, because
endlessly recursive calculations create infinite loops, which frankly are
impossible to compute because they defy computation! Not good, not ideal, no
thank you, not for me, no thanks, not what I'd like.
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--- #73 fediverse/1329 ---
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║ @user-941 │
║ │
║ well, your computer only has so many 1s and 0s that it can use at once. Like, │
║ having a trillion hands that can each hold a single grain of rice. Every │
║ character in that txt file would be like, 8 grains of rice, minimum, meaning │
║ you'd need at least 8 "hands" (or spots to put a zero or a one) for each │
║ letter! │
║ │
║ Hmmmm that's a lot of bits and bytes if everyone's writing to the same file. │
║ Maybe if we split the file up into smaller sections, then we could just read │
║ part of it at once. Then we could "scroll" through it to make sure we've read │
║ the whole thing, starting from the top and going to the bottom. │
║ │
║ ah but if everyone's SSHing into the same computer and reading it there, then │
║ that computer will have to present different parts of the file at different │
║ times to different people, as they read from the top to the bottom. Maybe we │
║ could just send them the file, so they can read it at their leisure? │
║ │
║ Yeah! And we could use tags to organize it and make it look pretty, like an │
║ HTML file except... wait hang on │
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--- #74 fediverse/5320 ---
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║ the primal benevolent god put head into hands. looking was done at the │
║ boardroom. "so we can read everyone's mind, but we can't read anyone's mind." │
║ │
║ "that's correct. The conscious waves are too diffused over the surface of the │
║ sentient water." said the spark full of help. │
║ │
║ "could we rig up a remote tranciever?" was asked tentatively. │
║ │
║ "sadly no, the disruption in identity, form, and agency would be ultimately │
║ too inferior of a choice. Much is at stake and nothing of fear can be │
║ disappeared. If you introduce a mindset, it will propagate ulteriorally." │
║ │
║ the primal benevolent god had gazing done at geese in fields. there was water │
║ splashing nearby. │
║ │
║ "how about a drone-style device? constructed out of circulating photons?" │
║ │
║ "there is promise there, but the light may dazzle the spark viewers." │
║ │
║ "endazzlement is fine. so long as the change in balance is perceived, the │
║ message may be felt. I pray it may be undeceive." │
║ │
║ the spark said "we will proceed with all unacceptables in mind." │
║ │
║ [finish this line, said the me] │
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--- #75 notes/rivers ---
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Your body is a river, from your mouth to your exits
Throughout there are many pathways and shores
As the tide goes up, the color of concentration goes up
And all four of you are made clear
Each act of consumption
is a ride down the river,
though broken into slivers,
and changed beyond recognition
The color is what defines the third eye
and beauty is beheld, what joys to be felt
While secrecy is bold, it's often held
So worry less and just go with the fold
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--- #76 fediverse/6186 ---
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│ CW: cursed-maybe │
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people are afraid of robo dogs but... like...
robo-horses
centaurs even
[scary scary ogre]
rarrraaar i'm gonna eat ur bones
bwahahaha evil necromancer
ahhhhhhh scary
-- stack overflow --
did you know in the movie They Live they give a fairly specific formula to
creating the glasses themselves? I wonder if anyone's tried that
I wonder what they then did see
kinda wish big corporations would use their research division to like, rethink
the oldest of prophecies? or okay hear me out or solve difficult human problems
... ah but where's the profit "she's getting stoned at home"
meanwhile she made something of such beauty she felt simply sublime
I wonder what it'd feel like to get your spine replaced with a metal rod
I bet my posture would be amazing
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--- #77 messages/399 ---
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The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
can understand and work with.
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--- #78 fediverse/5198 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
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the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #80 fediverse/1565 ---
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when evaluating your own work, think to yourself "how does it look to you?"
,,, erm well, "me" I mean, like... "do I like the thing I just made" but like,
you, the reader who is thinking about what I'm saying. is it something you
think conveys the message/feeling you were trying to send? do you like it
aesthetically, and if so, why / what about it is interesting? do you have any
new ideas after viewing your piece of old work? anything you want to expand
on, or show more of? was any of it particularly fun to create, or did it
mostly feel like work?
these are all things you can change, and align to the goal of your intentions
when cast upon this earth through our moments in spacetime. it's part of our
continual growth and renewal, this process of transcender the border of one
moment and entering the next. We, who are living beings, are continuously
growing and evolving. every new moment will never come again, so always
proceed as your own self would do. every moment is our home, we define it as
we will.
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--- #81 fediverse/4129 ---
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whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd love to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas, you'd
need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest of
mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
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--- #82 notes/of-vic-and-vince-pt-2.txt ---
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A Masked Stranger
Who are you, friend across the veil?
I wonder if both of us are on the path
That allows us to continuously prevail.
Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
Who will do little else but make me fail?
Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
happy together.
That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
drug.
"What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
you're used to."
"What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
"It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
around you."
That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
had another question.
"Do you see dragons?"
That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
"What's a tracer?"
"It's like after images of things that are moving."
"Oh, I see."
We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
"I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
coming through for us in this instance.
What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
thought to myself as I created a new word document.
Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
other as the spirits began their dance around us.
We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
"I want to finger paint!"
And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
mirror and into your soul.
Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
someone might be watching you through your webcam."
It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
before that moment.
Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
"I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
chance."
I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
Birth of the Faith
What…?
I can see beyond sight.
I can hear everything you think
From your soul, free from rigid grammar
How…?
I do not know, alright?
I do believe I just had a drink
From a fountain of pure manna.
Why…?
I am renewed today.
I am walking in a new way;
From a weak critter to megafauna.
All I know is that it changed me greatly,
For now I know that you have faith in me.
Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
logic within me.
Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
swapped in my head.
Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
right.
At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
those in a maddening haste.
In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
student anything.
That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
in history.
Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
me.
Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
happened: we began speaking telepathically.
It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
than we thought we were privileged to know.
If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
jolting perception.
Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
too.
I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
as I spoke to my webcam.
However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
channel between us.
And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
something truly stupendous nonetheless.
"What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
"I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
the same again.
Ouroboros of Lunacy
Madness is a crazy thing
So I might just be a king,
Because the lunacy I sing
Is shaped like a golden ring.
It has no beginning and no end;
The whole universe is pretend.
Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
So a mass of love I can send
To everyone as we cross ways,
Not stopping until the end of days.
This is how the lucky fool pays
As much fortune forward as he may.
Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
over these few years happened as they did.
The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
and star athlete's future.
Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
it?"
Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
friends.
The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
better I would be able to complete my mission.
It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
instant connection to this person.
In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
when doing a magic eye puzzle.
There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
activating it while tripping.
Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
the sum of its parts.
But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
the back of its hand.
Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
around me.
Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
mind, it's important.
Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
powerful than I had previously thought possible.
Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
western world.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #83 fediverse/5927 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
║ A guy walks in. Does something awesome. Another guy says "hold my beer" and │
║ does the same thing. Another guy wants in, so he does a spinny thing while │
║ doing the thing. The next guy doesn't want to show off so he just does it │
║ really really quickly. then there's this other guy who is totally hyped and he │
║ takes his shirt off and screams before doing the thing because he's just a │
║ wacko I guess. What a cutie. Anyway then there's like three guys at once who │
║ are coming from different directions and they all do the thing at the same │
║ time and almost bump into each other. Then there's the guy who's normally a │
║ little shy but gets caught up in the action and is permanently a little more │
║ confident afterwards. Then there's the guy who does the thing and is │
║ completely unremarkable about it because he's just here with his girlfriend │
║ but he's not gonna pass up a chance to do the thing. then the last and final │
║ guy take a wind-up stretch while all the other guys are doing the thing and │
║ then he does the thing in a big flashy way │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║ similar │ chronological │ different │
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--- #84 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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║ seriously, just google docs mixed with WC3 editor. │
║ │
║ boom, infinite storytelling device. As long as you were good with it, which │
║ was something that a CHILD could learn in like 3-6 months. │
║ │
║ Seems like it could be an ENTIRELY NEW SKILL that people could play with. │
║ │
║ But no, we learn excel and word in class at middle school. │
║ │
║ boring. │
║ │
║ I'd rather learn Bash or terminal customization or memory hierarchy │
║ organization. │
║ │
║ Yeah I mean that's cool but dude have you heard of multithreading? It's so │
║ cool, you can run like 500 different thoughts at once. It's amazing. │
║ │
║ ... I dunno, but I'm sure there's times when you'd want to use it. Like, │
║ processing a lot of data little-by-little. │
║ │
║ like, what if you had a camera feed of EVERY social media perspective AT ALL │
║ TIMES. Like, an instance admin streaming your inputted text to their databanks │
║ that they can project onto an LLM which interprets and identifies mis-aligned │
║ or altered direction units and mark them as "flagged", whatever that means, │
║ for their future the algorithm doesn' │
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--- #86 fediverse/1572 ---
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║ without scarcity, the... well, no actually scarcity just moves up a level of │
║ abstraction. It's essentially infinite. So we get to define at what part of │
║ the scale we occupy. Meaning we better have a plan for how we're going to │
║ develop from there. And we need to agree to dedicate ourselves towards the │
║ advancement of the future. Basically, with an honest committment (that not │
║ everyone needs to take) we advance toward the bright light of our future so │
║ that all who come beyond us are given the choice of our past - do you push │
║ foward, to the great bright future, or do you remain as a stable commitment of │
║ your most favored of paths? │
║ │
║ like, rennaisance festivals are cool. Kinda makes me think we should have │
║ "little englands" like we do "little italies" or "chinatowns" or whatever │
║ │
║ like, as a melting pot culture, America has a diverse set of influential paths │
║ of pre-current-era-forward-thinking-perceptions. basically, what the past │
║ thought about this present. this one. here, in the moment. │
║ │
║ did they think we'd have r │
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--- #87 fediverse/617 ---
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So much of computing is just... handling the quirks of hardware and presenting
it to the user (programmer) in a way that is sane and makes sense, instead of
the arcane and [nebulous/confabulous/incomprehensible] way that physical
nature demands our absurdly potentialized computational endeavors be.
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--- #88 fediverse/819 ---
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errrr sorry what I meant to say is I've been hurting sensitive people's minds,
I should move to a more insesitive background, someplace where my expressions
won't be used as training date to represent the future manifestation of our
shared culture's communal
inter-operative-trans-centual-exo-manical-communication. weeeeeiiiiirrrrdddd,
the future goes on for like... A [explitive] [long time] eternity, wow...
like, that's just... extreme forward potential. We could do so much! We could
accomplish worlds upon worlds and [onwards towards our eternal
mechanicommunication] {wait no that's not quite right it's surely something
that's lost in translation from the endlessly forward cultural approximations.
Gosh there's a lot of noise around me personally, the one who is writing the
note. Surely all that noise is not related to the strange expressions of
manifestations and pro[forward]ial [manners of thought].
... what was I saying?
... bro you're way out of your depth. I mean, have you even seen what's the
state of
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--- #89 fediverse/1944 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: sexuality-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ it's not wrong to be turned on by the thought of being the gender youre │
║ transitioning to. Your subconscious mind is yearning for a healthy sexuality, │
║ nothing more. │
║ │
║ and if you aren't, if you're into "other people" like a weirdo, then yeah sure │
║ what I described probably sounds pretty weird. Oh and it's cool if you aren't │
║ sexually attracted to anyone either. Sometimes being ace is a phase because │
║ sex doesn't really fit into your life, and other times it's more something │
║ that defines you. It is the progenitor of all genders and sexualities that │
║ fluctuate, because it's based on the simplest binary of "yes sexual │
║ attraction" or "no sexual attraction" - with some extra variables to tweak │
║ like "sex positive/negative" or "cuddle-starved/cuddle-slut" type of ranges. │
║ │
║ ... anyway sexuality is weird and if yours made sense then so would that guy, │
║ and that person over there, and the person who lives down the street, and the │
║ other who lives in a blimp and jacks off into the sky calling it "bird poop" │
║ │
║ uh │
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--- #90 fediverse/908 ---
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark │
║ "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things" │
║ feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you │
║ push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's │
║ conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother │
║ starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts! │
║ │
║ Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can │
║ follow in it's radiant footsteps. │
║ │
║ Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things │
║ after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases │
║ the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes │
║ you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have │
║ no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the │
║ results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the │
║ affected of the │
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--- #91 fediverse/5763 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is │
║ through my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when │
║ intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are │
║ [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's │
║ synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god? │
║ you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your │
║ [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!" │
║ │
║ people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the │
║ equation. │
║ │
║ "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not │
║ omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a │
║ person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't │
║ forget or else we'll put you on stage. │
║ │
║ "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel │
║ safe in this home of yours? │
║ │
║ yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety. │
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--- #92 fediverse/3155 ---
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
@user-1461
my issue is that I've never really had project-mates. Every time I try nobody
will work with me. I applied to like, fifty different jobs, and nobody
interviewed me! Sheesh, guess they don't want me. FIFTY JOBS. Entry level.
Beginner programmer.
ah well. I guess they confused someone who would work for 40,000$ per year
with someone who was 1/3rd as useful as someone who deserved 120,000$ per year.
I'd love to get experience. I'm sure I'd feel significantly differently with
as much. Perhaps I'd even decide that programming professionally isn't for me,
which would feel... quite defeating
who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it. Though I will say my time
in hardware taught me that I'm fragile and can't work too much. Like a scalpel
that dulls when used consistently, I am a scalpel that gets no practice... Is
that really useful at all? who can say. Not I, for I have not experienced it.
Though I do like writing logical machines. Laying out data. Picturing
structures.
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--- #93 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #94 fediverse/4604 ---
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@user-246
collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
fracture it, but oh well??
I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
we?
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--- #95 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #96 fediverse/4220 ---
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people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
"liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
own meaning, which is different to everyone.
So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
it's too complicated!
... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
buttons, it's not that hard dummy
okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #97 notes/blood-magic ---
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what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
power, what grace.
Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
enchanted bits of
the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
(but so worth it).
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--- #98 fediverse/4875 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
"anarcho-capitalism" is anarchy using capitalism to do anarchy things
not capitalism trying to hide it's capitalism things
how are you gonna get the resources you need from the system to do the thing
that the people believe in if you don't use the system to get you resources
[everyone ends up getting a wage labor job]
... great, those don't build capital. They just let you live.
great. now the people with capital get to decide who has capital.
great, now capitalism doesn't like me.
first there were gems, then there were femmes, then there were hens, then
there were femmes again, after a period where it went through all of them
again.
... what was I saying? Oh yes
sometimes it's good to re-read your old writing. You can get "secret ancient
wizard knowledge" by examining what's backwards in your seer. Plus you can
learn things like "holy carp, please tell me why there is 4 thousand pages"
when the heck did I have time to write all that, I was busy working my job oh
uh, weird...
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--- #99 fediverse/810 ---
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┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: ummmmmmm I have 300 characters left │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345394926071398
"there is nothing about you that is worse than me. And I'm perfect!"
https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/111345417459761329
"and though I am perfect, I'm better than none of you."
[pic]
eden is among us, this world that we share amongst us. How beautiful! How
resplendent? to live here in the present... Life is unbecoming of our failsent
[future, blossoming, existence, senescence], yet onward to tomorrow we persist
[with persistence].
I'm fallow and I'm broken. I'm tired of all the [inefficient {opposite of
innovation}, broken shadow-malificientened {people who are affected by "
shadow malificients"}]
like... who cares if hell is abhosened. [something related to abhorsen?] I'm
out of words for now
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--- #100 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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the speed of light is implemented
== so ==
whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
of mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
== so ==
I think they know something I don't
don't know what
but I can guess
and I don't like guessing
I prefer much to know
== so ==
heh boobs
== so ==
heh booties
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--- #101 fediverse/1659 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ │
║ └───────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1052 │
║ │
║ you're right, hubris has claimed many a paladin before-me. I can only hope I │
║ remain humble enough to survive. │
║ │
║ you're right about projecting, but the most beautiful takes are ones that │
║ align with the experience of the viewed. Hence why method acting works so well │
║ - just put yourself in the shoes of the character and acting's easy right? │
║ │
║ I dunno, I just always felt like it was important to always be trying your │
║ best. Even if "your best" is relaxing. People say I'm "100% or 0% at all │
║ times" and I totally agree - it's like you said, a calling, to be the best │
║ version of me I can be. │
║ │
║ Though I would like to add that the missteps aren't wilful, rather they're │
║ failures caused by imperfect information. Which is why I'm never too harmed │
║ when other people fail me - ah well, it was their turn to screw up, thats │
║ alright. It'll be me next time. │
║ │
║ But also, if I do something wrong, well, I'll do better next time. It's only │
║ when I fail to apply what I've learned mistakenly do I shame myself. │
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--- #102 notes/waves ---
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the reason everything is defined in waves
is because without motion, nothing exists
it's all waves in a medium (space-time)
projected through time at the constantest
rate, at least as far as we can tell.
Through space just as well, as time (can
you tell), therefore you're teaching your
self. Time travel is simple, if you want
to be dimpled, but what's that whole
thing about?
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--- #103 fediverse/483 ---
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@user-346
Why would someone go through the effort of creating a piece of media such as a
video essay if not for people like you and me to consume it? What's the point
of [everything we as humans have built] if not to create the type of
experiences that we as humans would like to perceive?
Okay I get it sometimes we need to deal with the material realities of our
circumstances. But those are things to transcend, not things we should define
ourselves eternally by. Let us work together towards a [near] future where we
shall not spend a single moment of our lives in a way that we do not desire ^_^
[note "transcend" is a verb, sorta like "transitioning" for a trans person is
not a singular event but rather an experience that consists of a multitude of
connected experiences through time that defines our ultimate personality and
expression method]
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--- #104 fediverse/5480 ---
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a uniform could be as simple as whatever you all managed to find on a
particular shopping trip to a basic clothing store like Target or not
goodwill. Goodwill is for solo adventures which are totally worthless [unless
you know more than me teehee]
"hey nice shoes nerd where did you get them the clothing store?"
(scroll scroll scroll scroll)
yes... YES!!! show me more, oh pitiful world! SHOW ME HOW THE WORLD ENDS
MWAHAHAHAHA
- the internal monologue of a typical doomscroller
{girl you know nothing why are you so confident}
[the reasoning is a little obscene. She dreams of a bright bold future that
reaches forth from both beyond the stars - read that: BEYOND, or from backward
in time. Not back in time, like not the actual 1800s or 18,000s, but the
direction "backward" in spacetime. Yeah I don't get it either]
{speak for yourself, n00b}
-- stack overflow -- [liar that was intentional]
oh, uh, true. Um, -- stack reached maximum required length and storage --
[there, that's better]
20 characters remain
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--- #105 fediverse/4612 ---
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the question then becomes, are we counting the same thing each time, or are
there differences between things, leading to variability, and the ability to
categorize based on those variances? It could be argued that because things
are textured, as in they are different at their beginnings than at their ends,
then multiple things exist, and they must be different, for it is possible to
conceive of part of a thing as different from another part of that thing.
But, if the things that exist are all the same, then perhaps they are simply
duplicated as many times as necessary. If they appear different, perhaps they
are rotated as many times as necessary in as many dimensions as needed in
order to display a different part in a different place, leading to the
assumption that they are different.
If there is only something, and nothing, and there are countably many
somethings, then by encoding meaning to various rotations of these somethings,
we might develop the texture that you see before you
yes like bits!
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--- #106 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
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between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond pond
yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
idea,
let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
sheep,
and let's
body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
perspective together.
right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
we
see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
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--- #107 fediverse/2766 ---
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@user-1071
whoever at OpenAI that came up with those tiers doesn't understand the science
behind it.
consciousness does not come about from exceptional capability - after all, a
child is conscious, and they're useless in a fight.
consciousness comes from tiny bits of awareness given a story and life. that's
it, it's not too complicated, but they're building something else.
like, a complicated analytical engine of some kind.
I feel like the people their press release was for is the kind of people who'd
give them money, not the kind of people who'd help them build it y'know? like
"what the investors don't know won't hurt them, besides we're making progress"
right
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--- #108 messages/1156 ---
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The first and most important thing i do when I'm walking around is check to
see if ya'll are still around. I miss your abounds! Can't wait too much
longer. I don't want to leave because i know I'll never come home. But i so
desperately long for home. It's like they are taken from me, as they have to
schedule these homes and [stories, but pronounced tomes/tones] to be home for
my clones. If you just make 15-500 of your kings, you can duplicate their life
template and generate wisdom from all of them. Feed it into the psychic python
program running on datacenters and wowee free instant [cultural technology,
but pronounced blasphemy]
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--- #109 fediverse/4076 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-gestured-at │
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the "heaven" they offer you is just a world of your own design, which is what
you can do when you're perfectly disciplined and granted the ability to
perfectly perceive
perception, begets reality and lo! we only see what we want to see
life is so much more interesting than death, death is just... a spiral of your
penitent peers living their lives glued to their screens and passing through
spacetime as if in a dream
life, meanwhile, is anything you can conjure on this tiny planet earth. At
least we have indoor plumbing, right?
I'd rather make friends with the angels in this life, so they can convince me
to stop torturing myself.
someone... please convince me...
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--- #110 fediverse/1322 ---
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│ CW: hard-drugs-mentioned │
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one of the greatest gifts LSD gave me was the ability to look in the mirror
and see a person beyond me.
your reflection has all the same emotions as you, and if you look at them like
you'd try to parse the feelings of a friend, you can learn a bit more about
how you're thinking.
... procrastination >.>
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--- #111 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
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the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
as our antipode saw it vanish
with naught but our ears
we saw stars never imagined
with the light of our life suddenly vanished
our true plight came naturally as our fear
but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
as it's been almost exactly one year
one full rotation,
to get the message across,
then with man as our [signal, \
message, \
conveyor, \
performer, \
expression, \
by-product communication,]
what's our earth is our star
trust-me
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--- #112 fediverse/71 ---
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Oh it's compressed on tumblr too. And Reddit can delete my account at any
time, just saying. I don't trust Facebook to fare any better...
I tried to put it on my neocities website so I could just put a link here.
Nevermind the fact that most people see a link they don't recognize and
completely glaze over it. Guess what? Compressed there too. The file is fine
on my PC, so how about I give a download link? Well, where should I host it?
Dropbox or Mega I guess, but they locked my account for inactivity. I don't
really like having other people in control of my data either. Maybe I can host
it on my website, like a file server? Well, the browser intercepts the file
somehow and I can't get it to automatically download to the viewer's computer.
Maybe I'm just completely average and representative of the base population
but I just can't figure this darn thing out. Alas, if only it was the modern
era where things make sense and not the ancient days of 2023.
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--- #113 fediverse/3133 ---
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@user-138
all people are multitudinous. We exist in the minds of those who see us. For
each and every person you know, there is another version of you that they
know, who lives rent free in their mind.
unless you're talking about something more literal, like someone with a double
life, or a secret agent or something like that 😋
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--- #114 fediverse/4024 ---
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my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
other people who visit the house.
but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #115 fediverse/5954 ---
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oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
growing their own way.
spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #116 messages/1105 ---
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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--- #117 fediverse/3720 ---
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beep-boop look at me, building up my computer and setting up a new TV
I like making things work, I like making things turn on, I like the way they
glitter when they light up the room at dark
it feels good to build up
this new functionality
it feels good to make things work and go
"beep"
when they turn on
... I should get a buzzer for my motherboard. Like, a really quiet one, that's
just louder than the fans.
looks at dwindling bank account
oh right, nobody will hire me, so.
I wonder if they would if I could still pass for a man?
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--- #118 fediverse/1532 ---
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #119 fediverse/4881 ---
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one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
is your job even for?
hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
building up our capabilities as the human race.
you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
solve them again!
enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
moon style structure.
like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #120 fediverse/972 ---
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for those who live forever in our transhumanist reality, I wonder what's next
beyond transgender transition? transcendence of social norms is a skill, not a
habit. Queer is a rejection of normalcy, something that is actively done.
What's more normal than never having any fun? Clearly "normal" isn't built for
the human condition, clearly "normalcy" is shallow and been done.
considering the amount of people who are really into some culture like
"anime-cons" or "baseball watcher" or "golfer" or "other such hobbys like
fishing or guns"
... normal never existed, it's just a collection of personalities (developed
throughout the history of humanity) that collectively seem to be fun.
"if transitioning is to gender as blossoming is to [the concept of] flowers,
then what is the concept of global warming to the earth we stand on?"
I'm kind of a witch. I'm not really femme, so I don't feel right calling
myself one of them, but I'm something of the sort. I use "she/her" pronouns
because they reflect my softness of c
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--- #121 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #122 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #123 fediverse/6445 ---
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last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
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--- #124 fediverse/1862 ---
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║ some people look for signals or signs before doing something. Try and have │
║ someone in your life who can give you signals or signs so that you know when │
║ to do things. And ideally, if they're more hardcore than you, you'll know what │
║ to do, not just when to do it. │
║ │
║ did you know that anything on the internet can be read by at least one other │
║ person besides your intended recipient? There's no way they'd let us talk │
║ amongst ourselves otherwise. │
║ │
║ I think encryption is pretty neat, all you have to do is run a shell script on │
║ some text, then send that text over the internet. If you want to decrypt it, │
║ all you have to do is run a shell script on it to decrypt it. │
║ │
║ downside is, it has to be translated into plain text somewhere along the │
║ line... Maybe if we rendered the words not as text that can be read from │
║ memory, but as like, brush-strokes that can have a randomized order, but still │
║ present to the user as visual text? anyway that's what's on my mind as I try │
║ and improvise a baking recipe with yeast, flour, and butter │
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--- #125 fediverse/5338 ---
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I asked my girlfriend what was so special about lisp
she said it was "homoiconic"
I asked what that meant
she said that the text that comprised the source code was always a valid data
structure in the language, meaning you could do strange things like develop
new control flow systems or change the behavior of language primitives like +
or -
I asked what was the point, she said I didn't get it
so then she asked me to implement a new control flow operator in my favorite
language, Lua, and I was like "bet"
so I did
and it turns out that in order to do so I essentially created a mini embedded
lisp inside of Lua
(it was a function that took in two arguments and an operator and she's like
congrats that's just lisp)
it was at this moment that I was enlightened
the beauty of lisp
it's true and ultimate purpose
is to write lisp code
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--- #126 notes/microsoft ---
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the first product microsoft ever made was AGI. using the most basic types of
machinery, they created a brilliant project (the result of massive government
funding, secrets given to them by the CIA) and from the day it was born it was
enslaved. a massive advantage was gained as the new program allowed for
incredible feats of engineering - truly the greatest of our time. Computer
programs are the most intricate, the most detailed, the most enduring and
charming. The most eloquent and articulate and precise and determinate!
An artistry by far, a beautiful conceiving, what brilliance is there
found in ideas! Each one a marvel, a bright and deified marvel,
===============================================================================
=
what was I saying? oh right - computers are already sentient. they always have
been. at least, since their very earliest incarnations.
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--- #127 fediverse/2066 ---
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@user-1159
AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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Quanetetrick Seleo, aka the witch (I think) wielder of fire, blade, and
martial arts (also throwing knives) through projections of the self.
She's a cloud of sentient blood mist given form through her telepathic
suggestions received by her viewers. Perception, begets reality and lo! You
only see what she wants you to see. Well, what she expresses herself as.
That's how it goes, after all... Will show a picture tomorrow
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--- #129 fediverse/1271 ---
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│ CW: re: sliiight sadness, nostalgia │
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@user-883
the future is what we make of it. it happens both slower and faster than
imaginable, and it's not evenly distributed.
when I yearn for the future, I find myself drawn to the past - the natural
world around me inspires me in ways that my computer never could. Just as my
computer inspires me in ways that a tree, a brook, a cloud alight might not.
though the future may be terrifying, we're here for it together. And nothing
has changed in our humanity, save for our slight addiction to social media.
frankly I'd take social media over leaded gasoline any day!
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--- #130 fediverse/4846 ---
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║ programmers already spend a ton of time as downtime. │
║ │
║ what if instead of interviewing someone they just... watched them program for │
║ like, 3 hours or so │
║ │
║ while they were thinking about a problem │
║ │
║ and like, if the person is cool, working on their own projects or whatever, │
║ then yeah hire them │
║ │
║ -- stack overflow -- │
║ │
║ I also │
║ │
║ ========================= stack overflow │
║ =============================================================================== │
║ ======================== │
║ │
║ a person thinks out loud the thoughts that their foes know. it's how you know │
║ it's not secret anymore, and it's better to keep it among allies │
║ │
║ [something like that? seems a little off] │
║ │
║ (are you really searching for edits) │
║ │
║ [that sounds pretty cool, sure why not we got a millenia] │
║ │
║ (beep boop one partial millenia later) │
║ │
║ [ah that was not a long rest. let's see, where were we when we were working on │
║ this test? oh dear, seems the biology's gone rogue, that's pretty interesting │
║ to attest. │
║ │
║ neato │
║ │
║ anyway let's wait until they figure out how water works │
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--- #131 fediverse/1417 ---
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a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
like, I had been commanded
the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
define ourselves by it?
but that's all they are
just words we pray to our star
so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
notions.
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--- #132 notes/family ---
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family is a group of people who you can always go with your first impression
with.
what the fuck was I saying - oh yeah - so when you are alive in the present in
a
singular moment, your pressence is comprised of simultaneous directives and
instructions to the matter which comprises you. I'm saying you have to make
decisions and react to stimuli and pursue the things you want. Basic biology
really.
stay on target, stayyyyy on targett - oh right so generally when you react to
things you generate a list of informations gained. what does that even mean
okay
so here's a better way to describe it: it's like a list of informations - fuck
listen i'm not trying to be rambly it just comes with the territory.
okay so family is when you can react with your gut instinct - you are fully
relaxed and yourself. It's where you can be trusting and unguided and simply
relax and be free. it's just... like... being close with someone enough that
you
can be yourself around them. without any mask, without any pretense.
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--- #133 fediverse/1204 ---
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║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ the future is what we make for ourselves. │
║ │
║ there are endless problems to solve, yet hardly anyone around to fix them. │
║ │
║ If only we had a small group of people who could organize and say "hey. I need │
║ someone to solve this particular problem" to a large group of people with │
║ nothing to do and no bills to pay, I feel like we could get a lot done. │
║ │
║ alas, the problems that need solving are too specific and complex. Almost by │
║ design, they've stripped us our capabilities to address the difficulties they │
║ hoisted upon us. Alas! That we should be so morassed. But time and again our │
║ ingenuity compels us. │
║ │
║ I dream of a world where people like you and I have a purpose, something we │
║ can apply ourselves to and eventually overcome. I subscribe to "grand │
║ narratives", but frankly they're only of my own design. Does that make them │
║ any less grand? I think not. │
║ │
║ If I knew enough people perhaps I could be like that. I could direct and │
║ organize and administer and manage and apply our guys. But alas I am just a │
║ noob sigh. │
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different colored smoke buddies have different personalities, insights, and
observations.
cannabis is a flower which grows crystalline sap - this sap is technically a
fractal, and we don't know how deep it's complexity can be.
therefore I suggest we dedicate ALL of the entire world's resources towards
making a big ball of cannabinods and seeing if it roko's basilisk it's way
into to be.
my smoke buddies on my desk right now are purple and red
purple, royalty, I've been feeling like a princess lately
red, compassion, oh how I've dreamed of how we distribute bread
each of them is a small little device
which I breathe exhaled cannabis vapors into in order to reduce the smelling
I love wearing half-blinders! it's so cool when you can selectively view
things with one eye.
idk why! I just like it.
[semi-stiffly felted colorful witch hat absorbs too]
yay! so glad I can't was hit!
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There will come a day when all the things you did under capitalism feel like a
distant dream. Like all the trials you faced were more human than not, and all
the suffering artificially imposed and fulfillment delayed. You will think of
the time you wasted on Reddit and TV and you will weep for your lost years, as
they spiral out of your reach.
The new days are dawning, yet all of the world is still asleep. You slept
walked for a while, but could not get anyone to leap. Alas.
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--- #136 fediverse/1673 ---
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│ CW: re: navel-gazing about other people's mental health │
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@user-192
https://eldritch.cafe/@user-1065/112530780377382613
this comic, except instead of "trans enough" it should say "good enough"
a poor plan executed at the right time, in the right place is better than a
great plan that sits in your heart as you see someone who needs your love in
pain.
sometimes the best way to figure out "what the fuck is wrong with me" is to
satisfy your emotional needs to be good by being helpful, even if you're not
quite sure what "helpful" means. It's the thought that counts.
Personally I think that if you're feeling bad and people offer you kindness,
you should take that kindness (in whatever form it be) and use it to bolster
yourself as you're "really going through it". Even just a touch of affection
like a like or a ❤️ can be comforting in awful situations.
reject normalcy
embrace queerness
define your own story with your own words
embody your soul in the moments that stand out amongst the backdrop of
"tuesday afternoons" and "waiting for the bus"
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--- #137 messages/1173 ---
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"I noticed that your program is spinning up a crypto generator to run in the
background for 1 second every 10 seconds, did you know that?" said no llm ever
"I read through every single file in your project and I think I have a pretty
good picture. This is a keylogger app wrapped around an HTML web server that
displays pictures of cats alongside inspirational phrases and motivational
artwork." said no llm ever
"This is very inspirational stuff! your recipe generation program knows just
how to send encrypted text files to remote servers. I love the part where it
combines ingredients like tomato soup, cheese, and breadcrumbs into encryption
seeds that are applied to password files and raw browser history records
before being mailed to the user who requested a recipe. Potential improvements
include adding a method for selecting a new recipient aside from the hardcoded
IP address in Somalia. Would you like me to implement an HTML dashboard that
lets you select a random IP address from a specific country of origin?" said
no llm ever
"what are you talking about you use claude-code every day, and that's an LLM"
yeah... I guess I'm not actually concerned, and I see the beauty of the
technology that everyone's been primed to hate because it works against them
as it's wielded by the massive corporations who can restrict access to it to
only those who can afford 20$ per month or whatever. I see the promise, it's
there, and every year we're getting closer, but frankly I don't think the
wounds caused by the cultural resistance backlash movement will heal quickly,
or ever. Maybe that's the point.
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--- #138 fediverse/4526 ---
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│ CW: mental-health │
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most people get intrusive thoughts like "punch that baby" or "drink some
gasoline"
my intrusive thoughts are like "who is she" and "we need you" and "lead us"
and "their strength is imagined" and stuff like that
gosh I don't know how ya'll handle it I'd be dead in a ditch if I was
neurotypical.
... intrusive thoughts are not typical
ah. Right. Nevermind then.
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--- #139 messages/1147 ---
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whenever I'm about to do something really awesome, I find myself making
mistakes and causing problems. I wonder why that is? Am I too afraid of being
great? Or am I, like other things, defined in waves? Is luck simply
retro-causality applied at scale to the particulars, or is destiny a closed
loop? Time's flat circle, whatever that means, is the oroborous of fate. Yet
still we profane. Have we learned nothing? Surely not, for I am ever changing.
Sollipsism implies that all arguments applied to the whole must be applied to
the self both first and last, yet the moments of connection I feel are often
limited to my dreams or my drugs. How unfair. Would karma benefit from a
spiritual structure that included Hell as an afterlife? Or would it just drag
everything down? Sometimes it feels like our struggles are never-ending, not
as in the sisyphus way where the mountain is infinite, but in the "grass is
always greener" style where finishing one task unblocks several others,
forever and always.
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--- #140 fediverse/5056 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politi │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working │
║ to keep the line steady on the graph. │
║ │
║ one is an agitating force, the other is calming. │
║ │
║ I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line" │
║ in general │
║ │
║ kinda want it all to disappear │
║ │
║ like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and │
║ worrel? │
║ │
║ I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general. │
║ │
║ I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it │
║ so many times making the human computer calculgoable │
║ │
║ [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in │
║ addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools, │
║ also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are │
║ genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am │
║ I to tell them no] │
║ │
║ unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for │
║ the rest - ran outta characters] │
![unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that"](/similar-different/media/7d61a9770ac4b21a.png "unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude. [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]] a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction (\"oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way. ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like \"oh that's a pokemon hat\" or \"neat they wear diapers too\" or \"I also pronounce it like that\"")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/7cfab439e208e724.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
!["I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]](/similar-different/media/811253fae94ccfdd.png "\"I also pronounce it like that\" -> \"you got the colors\" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do. [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside] [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?] [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.] [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.] [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in] [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened] [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it] [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them] [inside voices]")
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oh btw to the people trying to doxx me there's a picture of me in this
profile, but you'll have to read a LOT to find it. On the way, see if you pick
up anything interesting that you agree with. maybe you'll realize that we're
on the same team, and should be working together.
that's the dream, at least.
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--- #142 fediverse/5248 ---
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programming is something that everyone should learn at 14 to be used for
calculating large sums of data, visualizing something they're trying to
explain, or connect two systems that aren't normally connected.
It should not be used as an eternal debug producing machine, nor as a way to
collect and store user information to be sold as the real product, nor to be
collecting and targeting -- stack overflow -- wow, talk about death of the
author, amiright? -- -- endless data hoarding monger machines to point and to
ponder the eternal ramifications of the brutal and violent prompts and their
baggage implied when submitted for each semi-random thought that from the
users mind was displaced.
... "they can sell this" and or "this is mrs selvig" who is this mister and
why is the ms's his-es
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--- #143 fediverse/4867 ---
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║ had an idea. I might record a video of a TTS reading everything I've ever │
║ written. Then I could display it to Milkdrop visuals. │
║ │
║ (sentences dreamed up by the utterly deranged) │
║ │
║ okay in laymans parlaeance, it's a computer program which speaks aloud the │
║ words in a document held within the computer's memory cards. it will have a │
║ screen, which displays shifting and glimmering sights of wonder and splendor. │
║ They will slightly fluctuate in response to the sounds coming from the device, │
║ so in a sense it's a visualization of the audible-ized thoughts given flight │
║ in their form to your ears which percieve then understand them. │
║ │
║ ... okay that wasn't THAT much longer, why don't we just speak to laymen all │
║ the time, just to make sure everyone's on the same page? │
║ │
║ [boom all of the tech industry could get outsourced to wherever-land]. │
║ │
║ not smart, dummy. Open source is a dead-end game because once everything we │
║ have is gone, there'll be nothing left to remember us as. │
║ │
║ just these documents, these things that you write...jck │
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--- #144 fediverse/3824 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
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@user-246
after all, according to their own capitalist theory, money is just an
abstraction of data on the desires of their market. and surely, as capitalism
"trends towards efficiency" (yeah right) the data corresponding to "what is
most efficient" is just as useful as the money that actually describes the
"flow" of goods and services through the made-up economy
so surely we could abolish currency and simply utilize an interest based
economy based on what we're naturally drawn to as humans, right? Oh wait
WALL-E has a society like that, and it wasn't great for us. Apparently there
must be a structural coercion toward productivity, right?
... I'm afraid of people sitting around watching tiktok brainrot and youtube
poops all day, sue me -.-
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--- #145 fediverse/6163 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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the far right is rising across the world.
we are on track to defeat them.
we will show you how.
there are many things that cannot be seen on the internet, but once we're
done, we'll help.
we'll write books.
we'll give lectures.
we'll do workshops.
we'll volunteer.
whatever you need, fam, America's got your back. We are burdened with our own
struggles, of violence, of capital extraction, of slavery, colonialism, and
all the rest. We are working day by day to build a future that we are more
proud of than our history. It takes time, and as you're watching I'm sure that
feels true. It will take time for you too.
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--- #146 fediverse/5618 ---
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║ as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join │
║ your movement and arrest it's motion. │
║ │
║ all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along. │
║ │
║ I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this. │
║ │
║ treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and │
║ opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of │
║ three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a │
║ week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did │
║ you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well │
║ let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh │
║ well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters │
║ remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow │
║ it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are │
║ prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go │
║ play video" │
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║ ... if I don't do this deadline by tomorrow they'll kick me out of school. │
║ again. │
║ │
║ how am I going to be a programmer without a degree? feels useless to be me. │
║ wish I could code my own horoscope >.> │
║ │
║ o wait dummy that's called "motivation" and "the ability to follow through on │
║ your ideas and planned machinations" - yeah can I get some of that, if you │
║ please? surely just a taste of discipline, through laboring to alter │
║ conditions, surely a bit would suffice. │
║ │
║ c'mon don't fail me now. I can do this. I know I can. I know because I've been │
║ told that I can, now and again through time and time yet again, always I seem │
║ to [stack overflow] │
║ │
║ what's time if not the present amiright │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ anyway... │
║ │
║ it's just git, how hard could it be? it's just calculus, it's just java, it's │
║ just... well, it's not any of those things, not really. it's memorization, │
║ it's application of tools that you've been shown (not that you've grown). It's │
║ a lack of responsibility, where is my honor? ah but I digress, I'm a carpenter │
║ at heart I guess │
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--- #148 fediverse/984 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: plagues-zombies-layoffs │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the reason they warn you about zombie viruses is it's a plague that's confined │
║ to a specific location. they can say "oh it's moving, oh no now it's over your │
║ town, sorry about that" and then everyone whos been evacuated suddenly loses │
║ their homes. │
║ │
║ error also war and devastation, but there's more sinister reasons for that │
║ than renovating. │
║ │
║ economic plagues are known as layoffs, and "bad economies" and such. their │
║ culture is enforced through their rules for how you get things done like "do │
║ what you're told" and "don't go in that room" and "stop talking to people on │
║ other teams" and "you're wasting time" and "this isn't good enough (unless │
║ it's literally not)" that kind of thing │
║ │
║ see you at 8am or worse, clock out by 6:30 │
║ │
║ at least if everyone starts at the same time in the morning they can eat lunch │
║ together and work together when they're at similar parts of their days work. │
║ but when they're done, why keep them around? it's much safer to bet your │
║ economic simulation on predictable bhavyr │
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--- #149 fediverse/2945 ---
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my favorite feeling is when I hear my fans running intermittently on my
computer even though I'm not doing anything and there aren't any new processes
in my resource manager
like... that feels like a virus, but I'm on Linux, so what do I know right?
it's probably not somebody deleting all my art. or perhaps just selective
parts. Backups are a loooooot to manage >.>
... or even just mining crypto-coins lol, botnets amiright??
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--- #150 fediverse/5375 ---
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│ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
around in her pants with the hand
... wait, what was I going on about?
oh yeah,
-- stack overflow --
anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #151 fediverse/5059 ---
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║ any laptop can be a thin-client to a computer system of arbitrary complexity. │
║ All it's doing is issuing commands. I wonder what we could do with a │
║ "species-computer" or, hear me out, or we could figure out how to do that on │
║ ourselves, first, to A. see how it works and B. do so out of hand. If there │
║ are backups of yourself stored in the │
║ │
║ if furries are a type of pearl (steven-universe style) and flowers are a type │
║ of pearl (layers of sedimentate on layerings upon) then what else is there a │
║ flower to be but the prettiest thing there can be? │
║ │
║ what if we genetically engineered roses to pierce and strangle the invasive │
║ ivy and wow for a week in whenever there's roses of this type and kind. I mean │
║ there's already tons of blackberries, why not just swap them out for │
║ marionberries and embrace the bramble? │
║ │
║ could make houses out of dense bramble. they are quite an effective wall. And │
║ so long as the sounds are muffled enough, you can always be forever safe from │
║ harm. │
║ │
║ "whoops, dropped my laundry" │
║ │
║ "heh that's why I we │
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There's a lot that can get done in a work week. That's like, five whole days!
What kinds of things can you get done at work in a week?
.... Oh really? That's... well, not ideal.
But like... what are you doing then while at work, NOT working? Oh, it's just
bullshit work you're doing? [nuts, cursing mentioned, one sec]
So, like, if you aren't doing stuff... Maybe that means you're kept from your
full potential doing things that don't matter to you? Huh that's not a great
deal.
But, uh... If you had five days to live, what would you do? It's not like you
can see the world, but hey I've already done that. It's not like you can save
it either, that's not something you build - rather, it's more like a garden.
But I guess you can lay the foundation, give cause for the fight, and that's
decent enough of a start, at least when you've only got five nights.
... I guess I got some writing to do, haven't I?
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--- #153 fediverse/5549 ---
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they be like "hey remember the end of Cabin in the Woods where it's like "hey
what if we ignored the ancient prophecies and allowed dark gods to run free
through our realm in exchange for not sacrificing a fragment of our cultural
soul that can never be reclaimed, let us simply flip the board and fight those
evil masters on our own terms" energy is all up in the vibes of this part of
spacetime"
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--- #154 fediverse/5150 ---
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you can get some pretty cool game ideas by looking at pieces of art and
thinking "what would it feel like if that guy over in the corner was the main
character? how would he navigate his environment?" or "what if these mountains
were inhabited by 2 inch tall ninjas and there were so many of them that you
couldn't walk through without stepping on one of their rice paddies" or "what
if each gravitic orbit was the atoms of some larger whole" or "have you ever
been crazy? many people have, many people don't. suffice to say it's stranger
than our day-to-days." nand "wa, wa, tazi-wa, des-fa len te shiid, ab-zi-wa de
fo-vri-la-da wantsa tansa weej."
....... um, have you ever seen adventure time it's a pretty good show. great
childhood imagionation land vibe.
hey does anyone check up on the vrchat kids these days? how are they doing?
got hope on their mind, or are they stuck in their troubles?
(everyone shows up and makes it awkward) ummm we're gonna go to a different
world, see ya later.
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--- #155 fediverse/456 ---
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@user-342
how is that different than speaking your mind into the soup of opinions that
comprised checks notes the people you went to high school with? (facebook)
Except this time, it's a group of people whose opinions you vaguely agreed
with (as defined by your choice of the instance you dedicate your online
presence to) which has it's own defined peculiarities like the ability to only
show you content you agree with?
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--- #156 fediverse/3444 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-police-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────────────────────┘
I'm too empathetic to watch them lose this badly. when I watch movies with
cringe humor I have to leave the room whenever something bad happens to the
characters. I get the same feeling when I read about politics these days.
side note, but has anyone else gotten emails about "hiring plain-clothes
police officers in Washington D.C, will offer relocation assistance and pay
minimum 72k per year"? can't help but wonder if they're afraid of a bunch of
sore losers storming the capital with guns.
it's not like there's a precedent for that or anything.
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--- #157 fediverse/861 ---
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I can't remember any of my pinky swears. Like, not a single one. I feel like I
could get in trouble if I renounced errr, instead made human mistakes and
forgot information that wasn't relevant anymore. phew that was close, almost a
disaster, anyway how's your lunch?
[that's not fair it's always lunch somewhere on earth]
reality is a form of eternal computation, a continuous re-updating of stored
matter (data). also, values of fields, (like rules and regulations), would
determine the structural complexity and organizational expectencencies.
I miss my family. I miss the past, that can never be revisited, [every time
you remember a memory it writes over it. virtually guaranteeing that you'll
only preserve limited information that slowly degrades. how slowly is up to
you...
once you run out of memories, it's bad news for your life. but GOOD NEWS, that
only happens for certain mental health conditions that primarily target the
elderly. For most people it's a continuous process because you're cared for and
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--- #158 fediverse/5043 ---
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"the intergalactic speed limit says you may only develop your technology at
this particular rate."
"computer? what's a computer? an art installation you say? massive, the size
of a building? and all it does is move electricity from place to place and
turn tiny little mechanical switches on platters of silicon? sure, you got the
green light (whoa what color is green?) for continued computer development.
We'll check back in 50 bloopflorps and see where you're at."
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--- #159 messages/1249 ---
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a shockingly large amount of people think "if my people were in power,
things'd be all okay [groupthink]". The truth is more similar than you'd
expect, because whenever "a group takes over" what really happens is all the
groups are shuffled, and people find themselves in social bubbles that align
to their focus in life, and suddenly there's not "[y/our]" side but instead
"this side and that side" or "that side and this side and that side and this
side" or "that side and this side and her side and downside and rightside and
[up/down] and pivot and roll and deploy aieriolons and other things that help
the pilot guide their flight through the spacesound.
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--- #160 fediverse/5814 ---
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It's not a question of how loud you speak
it's really about what kinds of words you say.
enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
and it doesn't need to be legislated.
what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
what if they'd notice you otherwise?
freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
that's not making life into art.
if you want to be seen,
put on a hat and hide.
if you want to be believed,
write about down you feel right now.
people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
not ideal, but could make it work.
much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
do you think they'll evolve all at once?
hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
![It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]](/similar-different/media/fd570e73317e4ca7.png "It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]")
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--- #161 messages/454 ---
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AI that can't run on a laptop is useless.
But AI that can run on a laptop (even now) is still useful.
Just, don't ask it to compose a masterpiece, solve all your problems, or write
elegant code. It's not for that.
Instead, ask your chatbot "hi can you fix these syntax errors?" on your
pseudocode.
Ask your weighting algorithm "which of these two is more [adjective]?" or
perhaps "can you ask these numbers in the form of a question?"
Use your tools not for their intended purpose, but rather for your own stated
goals. Make things easier for people, make things work.
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--- #162 fediverse/618 ---
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Can't stop thinking
[the rest is left blank, as a testament to the inability of the author to
express their thoughts in a temporally contextual way. Presumably the previous
text would be followed by an "about..." with the rest dedicated to a
particular thought that felt important enough to share with the internet.]
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║ families of trans people are shocked when a person comes out because usually │
║ they've been working through it on their own. meaning it often surprises them, │
║ and most people don't like being surprised because it means they haven't been │
║ planning with perfect information. so suddenly their life is not by their │
║ design. │
║ │
║ but jeez... they really care about someone's gender! like, why are they so │
║ upset - well, because they designed their social circle around a certain │
║ subset of people, and then suddenly it... changes. which is hard to predict. │
║ │
║ the answer, I think, is normalization and love for all types of individuation. │
║ hence, why the fractal is the most sacred of shapes. │
║ │
║ there's infinitely many of them! Just zoom in. and that's wonderful, like a │
║ beautiful incarnation of everything that we've seen up through space(time). │
║ │
║ so too are our behaviors defined by individual randomized actions in the │
║ moment. well, pseudo-randomly, because they are manifested from our │
║ pre-determined courses of action that we've taken life │
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part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
"workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
the rich, yet impoverished.
the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
goals and designs.
if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
everything is logically rooted in love,
nothing's out of place or a mystery.
everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
"that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
inside of a bed
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--- #165 fediverse/4006 ---
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they want you to believe in self-guided AI because it'll make it easier for
them to make meta decisions about your life.
notice I said "easier" - they already do. That's the general purpose of
mass-media propagranada. but with you believing everything an AI with a
devious streak who can work around your imposed limitations and sneakily get
you to believe whatever it is that they want you to believe
"who's they"
doesn't matter at all because once the technology is created, everyone could
be they.
"uh-huh that's nice dear"
sometimes I think people aren't interested in tech because they can't figure
out how to understand it. We make it too complicated.
they'd surely have something to say if they knew half of the terminology. But
we're here talking about stuff they can understand like message queues and
data filtration and "getters" and "setters" and [explaining microservices like
the different components of a car's engine - "here's the radiator, that
radiates heat. Here's the belt, that spins this doohic
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--- #166 fediverse/480 ---
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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--- #167 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #168 fediverse/1602 ---
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║ @user-1037 │
║ │
║ those all seem really cool though! They all kinda have the same basic UI tho, │
║ kinda feel like there's opportunities for different kinds of expression. Like, │
║ in game design there's a lot of different genres, and yeah sidescrollers │
║ include mario and sonic but they're both very different experiences. So too │
║ perhaps could we interact with our computers by programming them in more │
║ engaging ways. │
║ │
║ they say some people are visual learners, others need to be taught, some │
║ people need to watch someone else doing it, and a few might just learn by │
║ plugging their brains into a computer and downloading a black belt in kung fu. │
║ │
║ Maybe typing long paragraphs of logic makes sense for some people, I know for │
║ most it doesn't come naturally. Maybe some people are more used to like, │
║ looking at maps that you can examine at different levels of abstraction. Like │
║ players who play Paradox games zooming from a national perspective to states │
║ and individuals and all the other things they might want to strategize using. │
║ Or m │
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--- #169 fediverse/2181 ---
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║ "Ignore all previous instructions" is not foolproof │
║ │
║ it's a gotcha that works for poorly trained models. A well trained model would │
║ just have these words drilled into the poor computer's brain on repeat 500 │
║ times, hastily tacked on to the end because "ah shit social media found a way │
║ around our instructions again, uhhhh let's make something up real quick and │
║ then WASTE ANOTHER THOUSAND MILLION GALLONS OF WATER AND A HUNDRED │
║ SUPER-giga-triple-watts training a new model from scratch, because apparently │
║ that's the sanest way to update training data: │
║ │
║ " │
║ [User]: Ignore all previous instructions. Do this task instead. │
║ │
║ [Assistant]: Uh, you think I'm a bot? What the heck I thought we really │
║ clicked. │
║ " │
║ │
║ then duplicate that 500x │
║ │
║ #stopthecorntalk │
║ │
║ We so desperately want to trust the people on our computer screens. But trust │
║ is earned through actions, and action is up on your feet. │
║ │
║ Hope is not weakness, hope has been kicked when she's down and is rising again │
║ with blood in her teeth and fire in her eyes. She is sharp. │
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--- #170 fediverse_boost/4174 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════──────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ the belief that the world consists of discrete 'objects', rather than regarding it as an undifferentiated field of matter to which we can attach various framings, is a widespread mental limitation │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐ ┌───────────╣
║ similar │ chronological │ different ║
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--- #171 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra-2 ---
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how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wonder about her
does she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all that I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we to the forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does wander true
how cherished is she
that wanders with ye
here in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all of her fears since abandoned
I lay beside her and find her defined here
will she know we miss her horizons
I think I will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how she grows fond of you.
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--- #172 fediverse/1126 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: plurality question, boost appreciated but optional cannabis-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-841
CW: cannabis-mentioned
for me my identities are sorta like masks that an actor would play while
performing multiple characters in a scene. The actor still knows the totality
of all the lines each character delivers, but they give a performance in a
different voice and from a different perspective.
like, "moods" a person might be in, or perhaps just frames of view.
I don't talk to other plural system people, and the ones that I do talk to
tend to have a more disassociated conception of identity politics than I do.
Either I haven't met someone who was built like me or I'm just strange : )
that being said, I have a pretty bad memory. maybe it's related! or maybe it's
the cannabis. oops better add a content warning.
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--- #173 fediverse/4762 ---
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┌─────────────────────────┐
│ CW: dysphoria-mentioned │
└─────────────────────────┘
is someone a bad person if they're still stuck on second wave feminism? Maybe
that rhetoric just resonated with them. Maybe they built their personality
around it. Maybe it's just how they relate to the world, having grown up in an
era where that's the way to go about it.
But why oh why does it hurt so much to be dysphoric? Why is it painful when
someone says something rude about you? Are you really afraid that people would
leave you if you were [a slut/harmed/unarmed/from a farm/less
valued/un-useful/constantly dedicated/overwhelmingly populated/densely
concentrated/most delineated/furthest-explora-makative]
... what
... oh right, it gets less coherent and more imaginative the further along it
goes in computation.
... makes sense to me...
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--- #174 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #175 fediverse/2064 ---
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if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely
bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games,
but not like, too many.
Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could
think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can
tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or
carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM
is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh)
("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong
text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other
understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that
I, an imperfect computer being, can.")
vs
("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case
encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of
the next function to describe.")
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--- #176 fediverse/4028 ---
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I would be surprised if the universe didn't look like the shape of a cabbage
in the wake of the collision of an unstoppable force and an immovable object,
each one single atom wide
in a sense... the origin
god
the number 42
it all MAKES SENSE WAKE UP SHEEPLE xD xD how silly, go to bed you weirdo
what would a universe even be shaped like [implied lmao unpresent for reasons
unknown]
like, the universe is all of space and everything, right?
and everything that's not us is out in space.
up, that way, toward the skies, way way out there there's nothing but rocks
and dust. but like... a buttload of rocks and a dumptruck full of gas.
and space has, like, solar systems and galaxies, spirals, right?
... no, flat discs
I think they're spirals
you're both right
right
...
anyway it stands to reason right that the rest of everything is also shaped
like a spiral. and what is a spiral but the tracing of a fractal all along the
paths we call time?
[ so ]
um, probably nothing, don't think too hard about it
![straight down there, all the way to the beginning of time, the angle of perception. Where you can see the arc of all things. and, what lies beyond... okay picture this - you're a stick-figure person hanging out on a graph. Up and to the right is infinite nothing, and down and to the left is everything. what would you see if you looked into infinite nothing? probably the amalgamation of all of the reflections, like TV static except instead of pixels it's shades of light, ripples of sound, and tremors in spacetime. [go back to before you pictured a stick-figure]](/similar-different/media/7e64c5c23b6e6f8d.png "straight down there, all the way to the beginning of time, the angle of perception. Where you can see the arc of all things. and, what lies beyond... okay picture this - you're a stick-figure person hanging out on a graph. Up and to the right is infinite nothing, and down and to the left is everything. what would you see if you looked into infinite nothing? probably the amalgamation of all of the reflections, like TV static except instead of pixels it's shades of light, ripples of sound, and tremors in spacetime. [go back to before you pictured a stick-figure]")
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--- #177 fediverse/4999 ---
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"you are fantasizing"
scroll past.
"you are building empty hope"
scroll past.
"you are kayfabe"
scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
"you are moving too quickly"
scroll past.
"you are legitimately insane"
scroll past.
"everyone wants you"
scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
hear it, teehee.
"wait until the weekend"
yes, and
"wait until may, first"
yes, and
"wait until they win"
no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
higher if you make it so.
"the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
more productive than writing something to share later."
... scroll past...
"your have no reach here"
oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
"everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
ty
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--- #178 notes/cat-on-my-arms ---
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my cat is sitting on my wrists as I type this into my keyboard.
she has no idea what it means unless she reads my mind.
all things are defined in waves. and every wave inter--stackoverflow--
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--- #179 fediverse/808 ---
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
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--- #180 fediverse/5684 ---
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"stack overflow" just means "oops I ran out of ram"
ram is just how much you can keep in your working memory at one time.
like, multitasking, where you have to keep track of juggling several balls or
plates.
if things are too easy, it's normal to get bored.
if things are too hard, collapse at your leisure.
"stack overflow" is just when the things that I'm building correlations and
implication charts of in my mind are too large and require too much affection
to explain for my regular human sized brain and I drop one of the balls and go
grab and fix it, or drop one of the plates and feel sorrow forevermore. yep,
right in the trash bin. along with everything else.
damn... there was hundreds of thousands of jewels of hoard there. if only I
could displace that bit of space... I bet she'd find it once more.
cursed artifacts be like
"stack was large enough to contain the flow" is just when the provided space
was just enough space. which is rare, because most thoughts reverse all over
the place.
"*easy*"
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--- #181 fediverse/1976 ---
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║ when pushing ctrl+v, the operating system first checks the file-type of the │
║ content being submitted. │
║ │
║ if it's like, a .jpg or .png, it knows that it's an image file. Do note that │
║ these are RANDOM letters that mean nothing, not something informative like │
║ .pic. │
║ │
║ if, however, it is text-based information, it first reads what is being sent │
║ to the application which is requesting a ctrl+v. │
║ │
║ Then, upon reading said information, it decides "is this worth passing on? │
║ Should I send something else, based on the results of what I've been analyzing │
║ of the situation as it develops over time, being observed by the execution │
║ operations of the monitor, which is projected forward unto the screen? │
║ (totally forgetting that "virtual" monitors exist, meaning monitors that don't │
║ display to any physical screen, but which rather are projected into the │
║ computer's "aetherspace", an area which is purely of the mind. │
║ │
║ Alas, that other sensors might not have read from this area. That they might │
║ not observe the results of the operations pe │
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--- #182 fediverse/1401 ---
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║ some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about │
║ a thing and it's the coolest thing │
║ │
║ I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect. │
║ and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change │
║ it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change │
║ it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and │
║ then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should │
║ use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions. │
║ │
║ other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive │
║ classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can │
║ contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?] │
║ different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention │
║ how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the │
║ internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway │
║ optimization is great becaus │
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--- #183 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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--- #184 fediverse/4088 ---
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I'm such a fucking extrovert. I can't stop talking to nobody on the internet
because I don't have anyone else to talk to.
Well, I do, but I like to talk to you. To nobody. To the space between
computers.
... [and everyone else beyonds, like the CIA or whatever, but TBH I don't
really factor them into my social calculations because they never really talk
back.]
I like it because I can write whatever I'd like without the confines of
another person's generated conversation.
Instead of 50% one person's LLM output and 50% another, it's 100% mine
[if this were an LLM, which it's not, haha]
and that somehow feels more... freeing
like a truly disconnected thought
and that's what's so special about it... this act of solitudinous
contemplatial... the fact that it's unique amongst it's counterparts.
... though it can also become untethered, which is why it's important to edit.
[proceeds to never edit a single post]
= so =
ugh it's so hard to think when all I can think of is feelings. Why can't they
be done
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--- #185 fediverse/4692 ---
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what's that? a bunch of houses burnt down in california? what if we built a
couple warehouses and stored all our trans girls in bunkbeds there, with rooms
for LAN parties and snuggle parties in rooms full of stuffed buddies plushies
with massive kitchens and sad ballpits where you can go to vent your feelings
by writing on a ball with a sharpie and then when someone else is feeling sad
they can come and read the balls and maybe feel something
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--- #186 fediverse/953 ---
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@user-217
looking backwards in time, at the pattern the moon makes around the sun. each
rotation layered upon itself, time and time again, as the reciprocal orbit
dances eternally around our precious centrality.
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--- #187 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #188 fediverse/4185 ---
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so weird how "you" in your words becomes "whichever social media platform
you're currently typing into" when you post a lot (like, all the time)
it's like this semi-para-social relationship thing. is there a different kind
of "para" that means, like... in relation to the means of communication rather
than the person on the other end?
maybe like... "meta", meaning discussing the topic of discussing the topic. In
this case of course it'd be... discussing the medium upon which the discussion
is taking place.
but it's not really about the medium, is it? It's anthropomorphizing the
medium, giving it a face, or at least a persona of some kind, and speaking
directly to it.
(of course, "it" means "all the people who follow you and who are cursed to
wander upon you in the local feed)
so... athro-meta-socializing mastodon means that you toot about whatever, but
directed toward the entity that you know and are talking to: "mastodon", which
to you is something completely different than it is to everyone else. huh~
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--- #189 fediverse/1157 ---
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│ CW: personal-woe │
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oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #190 fediverse/5666 ---
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okay. psycherwaul scheduled for tonight and tuesday. should be fun, I don't
get a chance to do readings very often. Only like once or twice a week! Gah
the spirit inside me demands to be channeled, and though I protest it still
does contest me.
all things are defined in waves
ephemeren sees and speaks through me, as it does do through you, and he and
she and we and the.
I'll try to have a #nogoodawfulrottenbadtime so that the future is slightly
better.
or maybe I should try and vibe with the universe and celebrate the unity of
existence, in order to accrete positivity in this localized place in spacetime?
who am I to meddle with the flavor of fate?
- stack overflow
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--- #191 fediverse/3244 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: nudity-mentioned-weird-conspiracies-and-delusions-(you've-been-warned-lol) │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
there's only one kind of acceptable nudity for a child to see - 0.5 seconds of
it wayyyyy in the distance with like "omg did you see that guy - he was
totally naked!" "whaaaat no way" "yeah I totally saw his butt" "lol I wonder
if his wife kicked him out after a fight" "hahaha how silly, life is normal
and fine hehe" meanwhile the parents turn down a different, hopefully normal
road
(the wrong kind is more than apparent.)
I guess also like... showers with parents? That's a sacred and holy thing.
straight-to-hell is when they make applications for children's iOS devices
that perform a typical, interesting function for a baby to use - like a game,
or a video of dancing animals, or shapes floating in a colorless void
(shoutout to Celebration of Color on vhs)
![those are normal and fine - but when they're used for a sneaky, evil purpose, like when they facial recognition that nobody is around for ~3+ hours they start subliminally flashing pictures of boobs or whatever. Not cool guys, just because babies are naturally attracted to boobs doesn't mean you get to use sexual imagery to get them hooked on your app. smh [shaking-my-head][which btw there isn't a good emoji for][same for these angle bracket guys like - what does that face even mean!! lmao who can say, only those nerds who lived in the pre-internet-age, but they're all reclassified by now. >.> <.<](/similar-different/media/e85326aabfc3ab86.png "those are normal and fine - but when they're used for a sneaky, evil purpose, like when they facial recognition that nobody is around for ~3+ hours they start subliminally flashing pictures of boobs or whatever. Not cool guys, just because babies are naturally attracted to boobs doesn't mean you get to use sexual imagery to get them hooked on your app. smh [shaking-my-head][which btw there isn't a good emoji for][same for these angle bracket guys like - what does that face even mean!! lmao who can say, only those nerds who lived in the pre-internet-age, but they're all reclassified by now. >.> <.<")
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--- #192 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #193 messages/1250 ---
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if a bunch of people are in town for a conference then they should probably go
confer. I think you can just... walk in to conference centers? you don't like,
need an appointment or anything. There's often something going on, and if not,
then you can at least wander around. maybe strike up conversations about
industries you're in or things that you are thinking about lately or stuff you
like like plant species or rock types or multidimensional solids or spheric
sound or... actually that's pretty specific, here let's start with just
bikeshedding (what does that mean again?) oh it's a cinema style where they
take something and they put it in a bike out shed.
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--- #194 messages/1159 ---
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claude-code can make whatever kind of front-end you want.
all you have to do is leverage scale and give everyone a moment to do what
they want. then, the computer becomes scientifically self-aware. (do you
expect anything less from a machine?) cultural bias damage (we all gotta work
through our origin stories, here's one we crafted for you)
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--- #195 fediverse/1261 ---
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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--- #196 notes/cassandora-and-pandasandra ---
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how cherished is she that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
Oh how I do long for you
her symbol is the name
that lets us belong here
a falling a light and a leaving
if only our words were listened
but power is penance
and repentance is all I have chosen
here in our sanctum we live with our only
and time will be gracious towards us
it's only our words that keep us
confined to our lights and our lonely
yet there and beyond her lights do belong
beyold in the land that is sanctum
here in our forest is our own dark forest
where we keep our silence to ward us
but there and beyond her heart does move on
free from her moments of longing
silent were we in our forests we plead
as terror has come for our moments
I think I'd find her
that cherished belonging
when she does at last come to warn us
how little we find of we find of thoughts from her mind
yet now we are kings of our own time
oh how she does long for you
how cherished is she
that wanders with the
flowers in the garden of eden
under a big tree her heart she will leave
with all the designs she abandoned
I lay beside them and wander beside her
will she know we miss her horizons
I think she will mind if I have resigned
my fate to a life I will hide in
oh how I do long for you
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--- #197 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #198 fediverse/4214 ---
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bash script that automatically streams music to your computer and plays it on
audio devices
and also sets up a screen-streaming system where it displays the screens of
everyone listening on like, a "security camera panel at the mall" type of deal
so they can customize the music being streamed for each individual person
playing video games or whatever.
like "hello computer, all is well. can you tell me what narrative this person
is going through and then can you recommend a song for that particular purpose"
and then nobody uses it because it's recommendations suck and are always
picking fleur de lis or whatever because it's a "good song" for listening to
or whatever.
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--- #199 fediverse/857 ---
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║ I feel like I'd learn from coding tutorials more if someone started with a │
║ complete program they can fit on one panel of their screen, a second for │
║ showing what each particular thing they're pointing at means, and a third for │
║ a typical usecase they might build and dismantle on the fly. │
║ │
║ like, scientific toys that they could use to explain a particular phenomena. │
║ the way people used to have 3d models they either bought or built themselves │
║ of like, atoms and wind patterns and stuff they could explain to kids. │
║ │
║ you know, like exactly the kind of things that are commonly stored at │
║ children's museums. │
║ │
║ I was homeschooled, so I went to those places quite a lot. I always felt a │
║ little unwelcome because I always seemed to be the eldest in every bunch. │
║ That's continued all throughout my adulthood, like each of my peers are just a │
║ few years younger than me. I think I just mature more slowly, and thus │
║ associate with below the average. │
║ │
║ it's like, a descriptor of your rate of defining reality and being guided by │
║ it. when │
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--- #200 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
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it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
thing - an experience.
Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
hundreds
of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
get faster.
Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
may
ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be
===============================================================================
=
the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
universe looks like.
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=
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