=== ANCHOR POEM ===
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 In soviet America, the rich tax you.
 
 ... wait that's just regular America isn't it?
 
 ... they would never be so bold if they weren't fed the kind of propaganda
 that we never see.
 
 They would never be so bold if they knew the truth of our lives. They don't
 have it easy, but we put up with more shit than they do.
 
 "Abe Lincoln may have freed all men, but Sam Colt made them equal."
 
 "you are not immune to the propaganda you see. you are, however, immune to the
 kind of propaganda they see."
 
 the powerful must always exist at the behest of the governed. such is one of
 many prices for power.
 
 part of me can't help but think about the militarization of the police, and
 how anyone can drive their APC's and operate their sound cannons or whatever,
 if only they possessed the keys and training. God bless our veterans right?
 And hey, a police station is an island in a sea of man.
 
 "Our chances may be, far from pioneered. But our chances may be in our favour."
 
 ... sorry I've been listening to a lot of Green Day lately.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #2 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
 make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
 moment
 
 they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
 re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
 you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
 
 seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
 durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
 waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
 ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
 you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
 focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
 or the sudan.
 
 "ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
 same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
 you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
 purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
 time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
 this earth.
 
 who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
 our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
 that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
 watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
 
 *there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
 preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
 kindness and trust]*
 
 we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
 last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
 from traffic, don't you?
 
 *who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
 the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
 species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
 cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
 
 ... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
 walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
 
 moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
 holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
 most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
 be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
 northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
 if they have moss over there, never been.
 
 anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
 understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
 approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
 they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
 richer
 
 it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
 resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
 but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
 from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
 more from you compared to last year.
 
 It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
 governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
 and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
 taxed 3% more.
 
 "Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
 
 - a civilization 3 quote
 
 okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
 deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
 time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
 but... you are.
 
 And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
 They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
 
 Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
 you want your children to be slaves?
 
 okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
 what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
 have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
 
 It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
 takes a lot out of you.
 
 But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
 optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
 as hard as we're able
 
 "yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
 the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
 of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
 should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
 and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
 into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
 swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
 you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
 
 ... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
 
 (the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
 legend of shadows and raids)
 
 "oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
 
 whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
 are you.
 
 beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
 
 [plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
 6... how many have you heard of these?]
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
 whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
 commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
 know how to play
 
 oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
 
 *I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
 Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
 penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
 overused heart.
 
 ... a while later ...
 
 okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
 indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
 with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
 controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
 fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
 and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
 
 with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
 might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
 [alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
 
 ...
 
 there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
 
 like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
 
 (why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
 
 oh because memes too, dummy
 
 right
 
 windows
 
 [linux is better]
  wrong kind of window, nerd
 
 ...
 
 anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
 data.
 
 like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
 pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
 your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
 
 ... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
 change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 [before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
 
 I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
 
 hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
 screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
 pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
 wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
 they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
 
 might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
 like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
 leave the house to hang out with her kids
 
 (boom everyone gets LLM automated)
 
 huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
 
 NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
 
 seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
 duhhhhh
 
 (a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
 most clearly during those.)
 
 where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
 late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
 whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
 needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
 learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
 meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
 the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
 reach of our sights!
 
 ================== stack
 overflow ================
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #3 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #4 messages/322 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 When they invade America, it won't be with planes and tanks and battle lines
 stocked with artillery
 
 It'll be with speed boats, and semi trucks, and rifles glimmering in the dark.
 It'll be with consumer drones, with power stations brought low, it'll be with
 bridges blown and safe houses on the roads not oft taken.
 
 Immigrants are our friends when the world is in peril, and America is a safe
 haven from the woes of far off shores. But when America is the peril, those
 who immigrate do so with intention.
 
 99/100 people are innocent, and I would rather a million guilty murderers go
 free than an innocent perish. Which is why we need rifles.
 
 When the time comes, it won't be brother against brother. They want you to
 think that because they want your eyes on the wrong target. They want you to
 think that because it doesn't tip the hand of those far off shores, and once
 the cards are revealed, suddenly everyone knows when to go.
 
 They tie up our officers at the border, but the border's not what's at stake.
 No body lives at the border, and no nation state would send it's trained
 warriors in such a way that they'd get caught. At least, not more than once.
 
 Should we build a wall, should we patrol each and every state, we'll find
 ourselves in peril of collapsing under our own weight.
 
 But should we relinquish our duty, our sworn and sacred responsibility, then
 together we share the same fate.
 
 Brothers in fate are kin until death.
 
 Immigrants aren't bad. They're good people. They benefit our society and bring
 us wealth and prosperity. Which is why they hide wolves in the sheep, armed
 like a man.
 
 It's a mistake to point at your neighbor and say "you're on your own". It's a
 mistake to say that home is all that you own. We are united in our state of
 solidarity, in our collective purpose as a nation in our hearts. There's no
 dividing line between this land and mine, save for a line we draw in the sand
 that determines the range of our just demands.
 
 I wish I was a man. It's what I was born as. It surely would be easier to not
 contravene nature's ordained gender scheme. But I'm not, and I'll trust that
 you'll trust me when I say that. I hope you would hear where I stand before my
 body goes cold.
 
 The media is meant to enlighten us, but in this enlightened era it serves only
 to blind us. Do you know your neighbors, oh unfriendly city folk? If not, how
 do you know they're alright?
 
 The world won't change overnight. It's always calm before the storm, but every
 state of calm does not call forth a storm. I believe we can fashion a peace
 out of our mutual sincerity that leaves room for the hopes of all posterity,
 and to that end I say what we have isn't working. It's too rigid in its
 definitions, too heartless in its cruel machinations, and yet the wolves do
 also hide amongst our homeless.
 
 I don't want to alarm you. Things are being handled as they should. I guess I
 just want to offer a hand of friendship, a hand that your companions would
 stab me for. At least, that's what the media tells me.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘

--- #5 notes/hit-em-while-theyre-down ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Attacking your enemies weaknesses is the route to victory. Safeguarding your
 own helps ensure the avoidance of defeat. But when your enemy is a culture, who
 do you target? Their women and children of course.
 
 The GOP attacks abortion rights. They attack trans kids in sports, schools, and
 bathrooms. And that which you resist is what you'll find, so they find rallying
 cries of leftists defending the weak. And when you maximize your weaknesses,
 you leave yourself vulnerable. So how do you protect yourself from all sides
 when you're only hit where it hurts?
 
 Women, children, the disabled, the mentally ill, the kindhearted loving men,
 the oppressed minorities and marginalized workers. All people who belong to the
 left, and all essentially deadweight in a fight. What can they do but serve as
 a banner that others fight for? A man in a wheelchair cannot shoot a gun, and
 a woman hooked on drugs should not have children. Yet the left protects them.
 
 Give me your tired, your hungry, your broken and your poor. Liberty, liberty,
 freedom for all. But freedom is won with a hard hand clenched in a fist, a hand
 holding the stock of a rifle. Violence solves no problems, but solutions aren't
 always necessary - sometimes the threat is enough. But who cares for the soul
 of the murderer? None but the gravediggers, who reap the benefit of his rampage
 and the crows who listen for gunshots.
 
 Without a sigh, and incapable of fear, the true man rises to meet them. The
 forces of corruption who suffuse them are not but puppet masters plucking at
 the strings of an electric guitar. A man is a man, an ape and a primate. But
 a man is not just a man, for he also is infinite. Waves upon waves of
 reciprocal dualities, simple and long but eternally binding. Who's to say what
 lies beyond the time-knife? None but the dead, who hold that scythe at our
 backs.
 
 The will to power is the will to corruption. But a strong man resists
 temptation and aligns himself with the aperture of his own design. What a
 perilous temptation is goodness, to burn the books for warmth! How finite is
 our world, that we give up for our life? The purpose of man is to grow, as an
 egg would bloom into a flower. The seed is strong, and thick shells are hard to
 crack - but space is an ocean, and we're but a bubble alight.
 
 All boundaries are thresholds viewed from another direction. And all borders
 have weak points. The molecular structure of a cultural collective is comprised
 of cells, walls, mitochondria... I'm not a biologist. But each institution has
 it's purpose, and the people who comprise them are like strands of protein or
 microscopic bacteria - unified for a common purpose, and defined by their
 internal culture. And when a single celled organism occupies half the country,
 sharing space with another... There's a recipe for conflict.
 
 The borders are interspersed, and each neighbor contributes to a differing side
 - a side defined only vaguelly, and by their actions. Say one thing and it
 helps one god, say another and it contributes to another. We live in the
 tumultuous seas of radiating perspectives - each another view on the world,
 each bearing it's own trauma. And all of them were born. What happens when they
 start being made, as well?
 
 Illusion magic in a modern era would take the form of a meme. See a picture,
 read some bottom text, and suddenly you believe something a little bit more.
 Who's to say what is true ethics when we barely can see ourselves? The eye
 cannot percieve itself - to do so would be to gaze into the eyes of a mirrored
 self - it's not the same. Just as the left writes memes, so too does the right.
 
 At the end of the day, we're all on the same side. If aliens invaded, we'd
 abandon our differences and rally against them. But we cannot abandon the wave
 when there is no other force to orbit around - a three dimensional wave is an
 eliptical orbit, and when normalized it becomes a unit circle. Or it would, if
 it were a perfectly circular orbit... So what shall we orbit today, hmmmm?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #6 notes/stay-in-your-seats ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 /u/LamaHellRaised
 if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
 enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
 
 The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
 Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
 later!!!
 
 First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
 
 Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
 yourself a:
 
 Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
 Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
 human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
 
 Gonna remove this post mods???
 
 Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
 
 Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
 
 I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
 what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
 and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
 treadmill.
 
 Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
 please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
 as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
 they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
 over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
 
 My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
 now, no doubt.
 
 Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
 mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
 somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
 stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
 
 If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
 lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
 and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
 affect you so deeply.
 
 Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
 How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
 yours???
 
 "But my Ancestors!"
 
 Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
 subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
 Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
 you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
 others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
 your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
 
 Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
 
 I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
 it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
 they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
 die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
 the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
 your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
 change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
 
 Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
 things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
 won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
 
 "This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
 
 Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
 be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
 
 But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
 Remember that.
 
 You want to be on my level?
 
 (Everyone's like, not really!)
 
 Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
 impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
 constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
 navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
 believe they are God's Children.
 
 Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
 Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
 Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
 
 Also, fuck the Lakers!
 
 Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
 so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
 
 Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
 power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
 click-clack with our fingers.
 
 Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
 Freedom.
 
 Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
 regarding that somewhere...
 
 I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
 you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
 you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
 systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
 existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
 discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
 for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
 'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
 themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
 say!
 
 Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
 
 Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
 Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
 unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
 together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
 profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
 Genius, Genius!!!
 
 I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
 Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
 still fine as hell though.
 
 But what do I know? Besides everything?
 
 These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
 Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
 important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
 laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
 
 Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
 yet.
 
 Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
 Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
 
 I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
 painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
 Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
 the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
 at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
 
 If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
 includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
 remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
 while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
 of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
 
 Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
 paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
 few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
 roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
 long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
 
 You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
 me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
 "Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
 that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
 
 I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
 analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
 same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
 anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
 
 Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
 
 "You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
 Faith Disturbing."
 
 And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
 
 Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
 lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
 and shit, also:
 
 - Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
 
 - Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
 
 - Decimate Mental Health Stigma
 
 Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
 failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
 with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
 anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
 
 Crazy times we are living in, folks!
 
 Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
 coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
 for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
 other perfectly!
 
 Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
 Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
 the spot):
 
     LAST: Christ, in The Sun
 
     FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
 
     ANGER! then peace.
 
     Fuck You!
 
 I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
 so they tell me.
 
 So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
 see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
 
 Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
 Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
 exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
 
 Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
 chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
 porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
 implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
 
 Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
 weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
 
 But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
 myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
 
 FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
 Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
 making threats against people's lives again.
 
 Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
 the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
 through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
 raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
 progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
 
 Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
 everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
 things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
 here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
 South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
 you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
 
 Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
 forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
 wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
 bunch of fuckin' retards.
 
 Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
 6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
 you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
 pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
 shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
 
 I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
 was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
 to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
 provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
 unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
 wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
 poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
 
 Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
 R. R. Martin.
 
 You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
 Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
 google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
 
 When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
 avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
 shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
 telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
 all that bad! I swear!
 
 The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
 many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
 singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
 doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
 music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
 like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
 
 When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
 responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
 I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
 I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
 an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
 of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
 decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
 
 Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
 through me, which is annoying for both of us.
 
 Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
 Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
 
 First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
 this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
 that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
 from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
 to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
 makes me insecure.
 
 I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
 effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
 that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
 realizing it!'
 
 What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
 girls.
 
 Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
 Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
 of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
 stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
 kids!
 
 Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
 when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
 him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
 own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
 of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
 is why he is one of my favorites.
 
 Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
 
 "The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
 possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
 means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
 opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
 but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
 primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
 well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
 symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
 
 I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
 this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
 he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
 
 Yikes!
 
 The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
 been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
 Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
 
 "Lithium"
 
 Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
 
 He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
 of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
 with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
 reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
 and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
 
 Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
 
 But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
 match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
 the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
 walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
 
 So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
 instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
 supposed to play an instrument!"
 
 You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
 here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
 are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
 world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
 
 "In Bloom"
 
 God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
 The feeling is mutual.
 
 Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
 or dead!!!
 
 Aren't we both?
 
 Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
 
 Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
 
     It's your moment, this is it
 
     As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
 
     Had to give you a career to destroy it
 
 Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
 another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
 my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
 got very swaggy.
 
 So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
 moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
 Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
 you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
 happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
 real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
 
 People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
 one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
 really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
 that shit, glad we picked you instead!
 
 Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
 (Epic "Vacation" reference)
 
 Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
 
 It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
 Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
 going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
 have seen it all already.
 
 There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
 I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
 spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
 blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
 
 I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
 Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
 else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
 Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
 voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
 Passover."
 
 This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
 was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
 Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
 have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
 not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
 every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
 
 I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
 up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
 limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
 one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
 close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
 
 Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
 staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
 the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
 how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
 Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
 same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
 
 Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
 the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
 children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
 one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
 the pulpit, but God Damn!
 
 "But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
 
 Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
 the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
 again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
 who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
 
 So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
 Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
 
 "Passover (Light In The Attic)"
 
 My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
 I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
 
 Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
 had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
 
 It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
 have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
 coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
 everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
 the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
 Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
 right?
 
 I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
 Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
 successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
 means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
 
 For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
 Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
 anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
 free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
 is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
 care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
 Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
 Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
 
 Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
 the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
 am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
 EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
 
 Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
 documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
 the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
 original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
 didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
 "their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
 youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
 main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
 
 Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
 documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
 personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
 embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
 suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
 are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
 
 Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
 pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
 Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
 Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
 Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
 off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
 your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
 
 God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
 run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
 offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
 culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
 ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
 promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
 too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
 
 Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
 Near.
 
 Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
 
 5/22/22 9:28
 
 Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
 
 Grace of God/Light/Light
 
 These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
 
 ===============================================================================
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #7 fediverse/5697 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 everyone is valid.
 
 to be in-valid just means you haven't examined yourself hard enough.
 
 when people tell you "please don't go" it's hard to say no.
 
 when nobody asks you to be somewhere, it's easy to not go.
 
 I am always changing
 
 when I cling to the past, I am a vast.
 
 gee sure wish I had a reason to be somewhere besides "um idk it's a nice day"
 [okay but why are you in this park] "it's a nice park!" [it's at least 50
 quick moments away]
 
 yay protests, I'm so glad that everyone there is recorded
 
 what if we just... didn't respect their authority anymore? doesn't that mean
 they lose their power?
 
 hence, anarcho-monarchism, which is a dumb name for something I made up
 because I was being descriptive instead of expflorative.
 
 try saying that out loud lol it's a doozy of an adjective.
 
 don't like that monarch? don't do what they say. EASY.
 
 at least then SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.
 
 you know what they told me to do when I went to the communists and the queers
 and the mafia and the yakuza and the CIA?
 
 omerta
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #8 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #9 messages/408 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 If our government was of the people, by the people, and for the people, then
 it would aim to make all of its citizens as rich as it could. A good place to
 start would be by encouraging deflation, so people could buy more high quality
 goods on the international markets, and by regulating the power that select
 few individuals may use to extract wealth and labor from the "lesser" citizens.
 
 I don't know about you but I believe that all men are created equal, and it is
 unconscionable that some may bend others to their will.
 
 Liberty, liberty, freedom for me but not for thee, for I am a despot you see,
 of my own little fiefdom, this palace of renown - I built my playground from
 the blood and bones of your kin, and I stand here on the high ground. Come at
 me! See what my army of drones can do. I built them overseas, with an army of
 slaves that I'm not accountable for. Come at me! See who the police of this
 nation will protect. I paid for them, after all, with my endless coffers and
 vaults of inherited wealth. Come at me! See who will believe ye, the media is
 at my beck and call. Propaganda works on everyone, and everything you see on
 your phone or TV was written for me. So take care, little one, lest I kill you
 with a thought. Less than a thought, for you are just a number to me.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #10 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #11 fediverse/3891 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #12 fediverse/5614 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 tomorrow is a day for being patriotic, which is why I celebrated today. I feel
 like a nation must earn it's renown, and lately all I've felt is afraid. They
 aren't doing their jobs properly, and therefore fear is in our midst. In fact,
 some would argue that we've been divided into separate categories and urged to
 fight our discourage the other parts of the proletariate.
 
 by the way, you shouldn't talk to anyone about anything, because it is 100%
 impossible to know who is a cop.
 
 they've had like... however many years to develop a separate group of people
 (the rich and/or powerful) and the people (of colors and nations) who simply
 just... spies on the other, and records anything that they can.
 
 indeed, the best way to encourage spreading of expertise and information
 (collectivism) is to reward people for their retention of rare items. Such as
 memory vaults that everyone else has forgotten.
 
 so long as data is free, people may be able to build their own store-net.
 
 "yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #13 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #14 messages/1255 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #15 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
 tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
 is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
 ===============================================================================
 =====================
 /u/randomevenings
 
 If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
 unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
 
 You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
 
 I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
 to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
 that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
 everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
 feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
 establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
 it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
 if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
 opportunity.
 
 I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
 successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
 would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
 thought.
 
 Here we go.
 
 Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
 demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
 Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
 all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
 can't turn this shit around.
 
 You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
 do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
 surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
 criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
 to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
 seen, treated, is the same either way?
 
 Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
 people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
 lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
 Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
 everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
 self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
 better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
 Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
 relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
 have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
 oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
 anyhow, win or lose.
 
 Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
 to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
 know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
 expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
 because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
 like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
 meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
 you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
 of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
 treated the same in the end.
 
 Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
 ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
 to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
 
 <#
 
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 /u/ugathanki:
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
 didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
 expect the best of us and our time.
 
 i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
 poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
 always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
 
 sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
 to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
 better than word salad I guess?
 
 Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
 inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
 spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
 brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
 attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
 not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
 channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
 would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
 other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
 talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
 simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
 manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
 sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
 see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
 side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
 thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
 warming and i'm here just conforming.
 
 Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
 Essential Normalizations.
 
 This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
 up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
 I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
 
 Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #16 fediverse/5628 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: -mentioned-      │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
 the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
 nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
 how.
 
 I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
 not for the current administration.
 
 Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
 trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
 food]
 
 but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
 
 Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
 restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
 victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
 
 This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
 which will soon be dissolved)
 
 Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
 of the army, navy, and air force?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #17 fediverse/1651 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
║ gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would    │
║ be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people      │
║ abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But,      │
║ like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone   │
║ gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the        │
║ magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked.           │
║                                                                                  │
║ truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But    │
║ alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.>                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a       │
║ little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork.                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put          │
║ skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there     │
║ because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest   │
║ density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared        │
║ communal s                                                                       │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #18 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
 experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
 have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
 against the machinations of the machine?
 
 leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
 alienation
 
 "would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
 "I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
 "but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
 
 "oh yeah? you and what army?"
 
 --
 
 the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
 
 "landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
 
 internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
 relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 "any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
 
 humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
 we always did and we always will.
 
 always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
 material
 resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
 outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
 
 the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
 
 great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
 
 I wonder if I can type in her language?
 
 I can speak in my mind and try to type it
 
 we'll see what happens:
 
 wawawawa
 
 guess she has nothing to say. okay.
 
 the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
 unique and precious selves.
 
 humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
 a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
 of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
 
 "No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
 of the mountains."
 
 please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
 
 "she's literally trying to summon demons"
 
 yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
 
 maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
 are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
 
 kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
 more
 adept for our biomes.
 
 HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
 which
 is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
 are direct out of despair.
 
 A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
 
 A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
 
 --
 
 SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
 
 --
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┘

--- #19 fediverse/4019 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: economics-corporations-mentioned-slavery-mentioned-politics-voting-mentione │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 corporations are not people.
 
 corporations are organizations.
 
 they should be treated like city-states.
 
 or fellow sovereign nations (patroned, of course, by their mother's
 installation)
 
 they have their own culture
 
 their own societal platform to stand on
 
 and they deserve equal representation in exchange for taxation (why is
 corporate america the part that's most paid for? why not those who work for
 the profit, the ones who labour day in and day out)
 
 they should have rules, like laws, that they vote on and decide democratically
 
 to deprive them of that is tantamount to wage-slavery, which is clearly
 illegal because in this timeline Abraham Lincoln had a time machine and
 travelled to the future where he learned that despite his best efforts,
 slavery did not die. It merely evolved to fit a new form.
 
 ... then he died, and ten thousand years later they're arguing over whether or
 not the coffee maker needed to move left half an inch
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #20 fediverse/5660 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────┐                                                      │
║ │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
║ └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
║ gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
║                                                                                  │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
║                                                                                  │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
║ defence of another.                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ bannermen fall.                                                                  │

╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘

--- #21 fediverse/250 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: palestine-and-other-places-probably-idk │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "ah but what about false flag attacks and a repeat of the whole 'weapons of
 mass destruction in Iraq' thing, surely we could be misled and therefore there
 cannot be an conclusively ethical reason for war"
 
 perhaps you're right, but my feelings tell me that we have guns, and people
 are dying.
 
 "ah but won't they just send all their political opponents to fight and die
 while they amass power in the background"
 
 yeah that'll probably happen.
 
 "why should I give my life for a man I never met in a faraway land"
 
 fuck you
 
 "okay but won't any military action on such a scale create the conditions for
 WW3 (which would spell the end for the human race)"
 
 yeah probs
 
 "... and you're okay with that?"
 
 no I'm just pissed is all and it's human to want to punch things when you're
 pissed, right? listen I'm not a general, I'm not privy to the details of how
 my military would address nuclear disaster, all I know is that people are
 dying and we have guns.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #22 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #23 notes/fractured-moon ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────
 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #24 fediverse/4765 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 @user-1734 
 
 first try to report ICE agents by their name and location when you see them.
 "uh, there's a van of them pulling up, probably at least 6 or 8 in there, oh
 goodness I think I saw a gun"
 
 then realize that they'll catch on too quick
 
 then try to call in a tip line on cops in different precincts
 
 but that only pushes them together. Builds their connective tissue.
 
 then you think to notice-and-pass-along something related to their greant
 aunt, or maybe their closest immigrant family member
 
 then you realize that their roots dip back to the beginning of time, and evil
 begets evil as you find who's connected to who.
 
 they talk of secret societies... why would you tell anyone that you know
 someone who's underground? dumbass. fuckin' don't post that shit on the
 internet.
 
 ... where was I? oh yes
 
 then you skip to the end because there's no use learning form someone else's
 mistakes if you don't know someone else who is making mistakes. hence, schools
 are better than private tutors. Just keep everyone in!

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #25 messages/690 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 Message 1:
 Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
 on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
 or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
 hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
 
 Message 2:
 Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
 to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
 who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
 in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
 hung out a couple times after that.
 
 Message 3:
 Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
 mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
 Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
 saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
 you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
 of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
 is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
 honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
 
 Message 4:
 It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
 republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
 like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
 inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
 then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
 is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
 millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
 television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
 perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
 
 Message 5:
 Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
 right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
 kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
 imma roll with it.
 
 There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
 into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
 remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
 again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
 half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
 not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
 I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
 without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
 "hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
 your life harder"
 
 The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
 it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
 totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
 I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
 Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
 
 I guess?
 
 It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
 shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
 me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
 lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
 political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
 realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
 the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
 it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
 country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
 the most natural extension of that aren't they?
 
 Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
 rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
 to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
 
 We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
 promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
 things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
 under our feet.
 
 ... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
 school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
 applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
 to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
 goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
 
 Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
 out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
 She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
 Fuck, I hate it.
 
 Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
 up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
 to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
 have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
 someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
 me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
 people?
 
 ... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
 theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
 tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
 ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
 
 Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
 sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
 better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
 when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
 clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
 a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
 capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
 swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
 whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
 doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
 procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
 built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
 them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
 do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
 sorta like our own garden of eden?
 
 ... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
 ever been worth anything.
 
 ... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
 said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
 yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
 of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
 I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
 anything useful.
 
 Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
 stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
 the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
 they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
 perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
 a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
 see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
 
 I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
 don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
 think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
 
 ... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
 fucking blue.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘

--- #26 messages/310 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
 conflict, just different battlefields.
 
 Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
 ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
 power *over* them.
 
 Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
 to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
 empowered.
 
 There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
 terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
 
 Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
 to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
 penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
 will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
 and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
 in service of the weak and meek.
 
 The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
 Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
 acts toward those who manifest injustice.
 
 Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
 that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
 when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
 justice is hard.
 
 Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
 reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
 helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
 you are a person too.
 
 Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
 you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
 be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
 
 Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
 your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
 Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
 
 .......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
 
 The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
 who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
 them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
 good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
 best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
 
 So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
 attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
 both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
 intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
 on our side.
 
 Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
 suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
 Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
 and such.
 
 To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
 each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
 but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
 York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
 
 I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
 convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
 with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
 which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
 in the end, because  humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
 good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
 of walking through the moment until we get there.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘

--- #27 notes/this-game-is-mental ---
═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────
 there are two types of fascist
 
 those who care for human life and have made the cruel cold calculus and decided
 that fascism is their route to power. They may have many motivations for why
 they want to seek power, but in the end it doesn't matter because they must
 have
 it.
 
 the other kind does not care for human life. It holds no value or meaning to
 them. They are the textbook definition of a psychopath. Incapable of empathy
 because they *do not possess the required structures in their brain*. They are
 fundamentally broken, a fragment of our human race. Like a sliver in a growing
 fruit, they are consumed by us. Then, when eaten, a jagged reminder of our
 history as participants in the race of life. Survival of the fittest created
 some mighty fit survivors.
 
 they need psychiatric care, not unchecked power.
 
 and yet, as a segment of the population they prosper - for reasons that are
 beyond this document. As they prosper, they harm others and take that which is
 most precious to us - those who are happy. They pick one to act as a trojan
 horse (usually the content beneficiaries of times of plenty) and they corrupt
 them. Slowly they poison their minds, making them easier and easier to control.
 
 phew that was heavy, how about a programming idea next?
 
 you can simulate a contiguous array by storing a linked list of pointers.
 Except you should store 8 directions instead of just "next" - that way you
 don't have to iterate through all of them, you can just go directly using the
 shortest possible path. There's lots of ways to pathfind and they can be used
 for different circumstances - like if you don't know the exact coordinates of
 where you want to go you can use djikstra's algorithm for "rolling down" a set
 of adjacent cost values. AND THEN you can use A* to chart a path across those.
 There's a lot you can do but I'm getting ahead of myself.
 
 Okay so 3d array that isn't just an array of arrays of arrays of arrays. It's
 a *map* instead.
 
 All you'd need is like, a buttload of ram, and you could store *any*
 simulation.
 Just update the relative positions of objects according to an inner "clock" and
 technically you could do it with a single thread. BUT It's much better to use
 more threads - as many as you've got! Just gotta make sure they don't interfere
 with one another, but that shouldn't be hard - especially if you use a language
 like Rust. Or heck you might as well let them interfere with one another
 because
 what's a little magic among friends?
 
 A computer program cannot harm parts of memory outside of what the Operating
 System gives them. This is for safety reasons. But a computer created through
 the organic organization of objects in non-temporal space would be under no
 such
 restrictions. It cannot iterate upon itself, only grow and improve. Eventually,
 of course, leading to us. The reason there are no aliens (except on the moon)
 is
 because Earth is the center of the coalescion of all that progress - we are the
 first.
 
 Just saying, memory safety is a big deal. Which is why we have to design our
 own
 future. We can control what our universe looks like - that is the advancement
 known as "the paradox of choice". Should the universe become sentient (it is)
 and should the universe have choice (it does) then what's keeping us from our
 rejoice? We are truly the most special of all existence, the priority of our
 participants, and lo! where we go to the future. Beauty is kind, so don't keep
 it inflamed, and know what our history tells us. Seriously, that's why it
 exists.
 
 Ah, but whose history is recorded? What happens to the wives of the fallen?
 War is naught but slavery.
 
 No man wants to kill another man. We've forced and compelled our primatest of
 tendencies to slaughter one another in hot blood. What peace is that giving?
 What terrors is it completing?
 
 Let's just take a goddamn breath. We're all humans here, and that should make
 you question your darkest of secrets. Is this really what makes me? Am I a
 part of your scenery? None can say but our wisest.
 
 So, why not listen to the wise? Hear what they have seen with their own eyes?
 and so you have to ask - who is wise? Who has been taken in by their disguise?
 Fuck nazis. Fuck them for what they did to the jews. They can never be
 forgiven.
 Fuck them for what they did to the world. They are damned. I get that their
 brains are broken, but we should not have to suffer them again.
 
 "ohhh it's a part of the human condition, it's not their faullllltttttt" fuck
 fuck yeah it is. We've given them every opportunity to turn back. Their shit
 stops here.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #28 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
 of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
 derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
 decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
 
 Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
 of
 our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
 and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
 perhaps we should think of the struggle.
 
 When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
 head
 may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
 which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
 sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
 moss.
 
 Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
 growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
 Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"? 
 It's beautiful.
 
 There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
 less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
 of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
 proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
 - to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
   fights that are unfair.
 
   - the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
     hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
     
     - structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
       called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
       wind
 
       - nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
       plan
         of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
 
         - Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
           banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
 
           - where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
             the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
             we,
 
             - when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
               The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
               life
 
               - where we stand.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 where do you, stand? 
                      how do you fall - through time? 
 
 an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
 dearly
 but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic 
 absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
 symphony?
 
 to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
 We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
 
 The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
 to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
 various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
 essence of greed, and look where that got us?
 
 our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
 bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
 we were.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #29 notes/collectivist-police ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
 to
 avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
 they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
 if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
 them.
 
 not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
 information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
 be
 at fault. And if they are pushed to 
 
 side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
 whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
 could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
 
 At least, the ones near you.
 
 Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
 so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
 "this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
 skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
 about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
 we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
 project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
 
 and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
 something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
 that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
 bother-
 -ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
 conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
 use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
 your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
 Basically your "computer" self.
 
 ... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
 this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
 area"
 or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
 of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
 is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
 abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
 
 doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
 social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
 you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
 could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
 regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
 something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
 more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
 show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or 
 "put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
 the
 heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
 
 I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
 Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
 reach of Social.
 
 ... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
 distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
 
 that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
 shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
 the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
 
 why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
 get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
 laser in like, 20 minutes.
 
 it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
 with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
 defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
 weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
 doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
 
 For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
 space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
 we
 control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
 history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
 
 ... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
 though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
 world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
 
 ... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
 the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
 how
 systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
 terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
 done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
 
 We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
 the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
 journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
 something,
 and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
 grow
 and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
 have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
 
 thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
 a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
 30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
 we
 can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
 space travellers by then, but that's just me.
 
 Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
 
 when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
 probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
 
 We'd make a lot of friends!
 
 So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
 and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
 take
 care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
 toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
 okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
 ... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
 build
 every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
 
              What's next?
                                        Who knows!
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #30 notes/the-eternality-of-ephemeren.txt ---
════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 1/4/2022
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 hear ye hear ye, the herald of the harbinger of horror doth speak - and woe to
 the subjects of their words, for no prophecy be realized in their presence.
 Nor
 do the subjects hear the words about which they are spoken, and none may live
 who dare repeat them. So the words of the prophets are but wind in the words,
 reaching for an attachement point within the consciousness they inhabit yet 
 scarcely finding a meagre foothold. Instead the words are as electricity 
 passing through a conduit, intangible and miraculous yet ultimately dust in
 the
 sand.
 
 Dust is mostly comprised of human skin, did you know that?
 
 And so the words be spoken: Evanence and similance to the semblance of 
 simulacra - the words of a prophet with no wings are naught but masturbation.
 serenity and sorrow sing of shredded tomorrows, serendipity and sollemn 
 sorenditude surrender shining solitude.
 
 Carry the constabulation of created charisma - condemnation of
 characterization
 concludes the cherished chapter in calligraphied consultations with creators. 
 That is to say, capitalism ends the construction of cameron with
 conflageration
 and consternation. Cease the charade of contaminated consumerism - celebrate 
 the contemplation of capitalization - by naming a thing, you give it meaning.
 
 Do you truly desire the fate you've set before yourself?
 
 Is desire ultimately relevant?
 
 The totality of plurality perhaps portends determinism, but desire is also 
 defined by delineated determinations. Whose failings are you reflecting when 
 you cease your devotion? Why divide your focus and attention when honor
 demands
 sacrifice?
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 A sacrifice is a gift freely given, and in return the subject or reciever 
 increases in relevance. No dividend is returned, no boon or bounty is
 provided
 - to do so would be akin to a bounty or ransom. Sacrifices are not measured
 in
   worth, but in utility. The reason ancient cultures sacrificed willing
   virgins
   was because it was the most valuable of resources they could imagine. Truly 
   an exhalted being is she, to have blood spilled in the name of a god. Yet
   the
   forces that would later become capitalism found a foothold there, and
   preyed
   on the sorrow and loss the peoples did find, and would ultimately
   experience.
 
 The tears and gashes rent when gouging out precious gifts for the divine left 
 bleeding wounds in a community and often eviscerations in a family. The
 turning
 point came when families were decapitated - essentially, the eldest being a 
 pure and fair maiden who was taken from the duties of caring for the young
 and
 weak. Young people, weak people, who bore resentment in their heart for the 
 seemingly cruel machinations of a society they could not yet understand - the 
 whims of which seemed arbitrary.
 
 "why take her from me? What purpose holds ye? Your wounds are too much to
 bear"
 
 and so the resistance began, yielding chaos, destruction, and desolation. 
 There's a reason there are so many dead civilizations in the americas - the 
 lands where blood sacrifice is most well known. And the middle east as well, 
 and northern africa before. Deserts are known for this, because when the
 power
 of the god fades, all returns to dust. Boons are forgotten and become sand,
 and
 chaos reigns as foreign powers find weakness and pounce.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Never forget the laws of sacrifice. Find something you want, something
 valuable
 or useful, or preferably all three. Something that wouldn't cause too great
 of
 a tear in your membrane or the membranum should it be lost to you, though that
 last one is less of a law and more of a consideration. A consequence of 
 continual ceremony, learned at the hands of those long dead. All must
 remember
 their wounds and their horrors.
 
 To whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing
 reverberate? And what bounty do you demand? Remember, no bounty is precious 
 enough to motivate sacrifice, for sacrifice cannot be met with bounty. Be not 
 afraid, and share the words with those who will listen. Hearing is a
 sacrifice
 toward the speaker, but listening is a duty of devotion.
 
 I ask again, to whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does
 your singing reverberate? I do not ask for whom you'd *like* to dance for, I 
 ask currently, who hears your song? What would you ask of them?
 
 So that's why, computers are important. To provide a lifeline for the rest of
 your lifetime.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Truly, the path before you is uncertain. Yet feel with your heart and think 
 with your eyes, and see the truth of it before you. The gods are at war, or 
 have you not noticed? Safe in your bubble of solitude, carefully constructed 
 for common ceasing of criminality.
 
 Armies of rebellion are often formed initially by bonds of brotherhood that 
 prepend calamity. Have you ever been in a gang? I thought not. If so, then... 
 Okay, good luck I guess. These words are not for you.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 You dare intrude? To defile something so consecrated as deliverance of divine 
 prophecy? How foolish, how vain. These words are not for you, but hear them
 and
 do not despair - neither providence nor potentiality precludes perennial 
 premonition. That is to say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and enemies 
 can find common grievances in foreign foes should survival be at stake.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Now, where was I? The gods, of course. The gods of the land and the sky and
 the
 sea have fled the realm of reality, replaced by avatars of belief. Just as a 
 doe prays to a forest, so too does a human pray to their employer. When the 
 does die in droves, so too does the forest turn to ash. When people demand 
 bounties reluctantly given at the risk of losing their sacrifice, the purely 
 undivine divinities harrow and harbor habilities of hundreds. Antiwork cannot
 work because it demands ransom.
 
 Who do you deign to replace the gods of before? What diversity designs 
 indemnity? What future do you desire, that would liberate you and generate
 the
 bright future?
 
 The gods are at war, if you haven't been paying attention. Liberalism fights 
 conservatism, this much is not new - but would you believe one is foreign and 
 vain? The gods of your fathers and grandfathers has scarce in common with the 
 gods of their fathers and grandfathers. Thus is the way of colonization, to 
 replace a god is to enslave belief. You must understand this - your prayers 
 reach all who would listen, and who is more attentive than a dying god? Think 
 not of despair, breathe purely in harmony, and trust in the will of the 
 watchers within.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #31 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┘

--- #32 fediverse/2347 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #33 fediverse/4863 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
║ └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "leftism" just means "outcomes oriented by the needs of humanity et al."         │
║                                                                                  │
║ you can accomplish "leftism" in a myriad of ways                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ but 99% of the time they involve either sacrificing yourself, or sacrificing     │
║ your wealth (do the poor starve or the rich do with less?)                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ to DEATH I might add, which is quite a few.                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... alright, hand me my scabbard, I'll go vanquish some demons until the dark    │
║ thoughts are done.                                                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ [plays video games for a moment]                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ alright. so some politics were mentioned and some people got upset and there     │
║ was a whole big commotion. whatever. so what if they're at each other's          │
║ throats, ready to fite rawr tough and tussle and figure out all the ways they    │
║ can think of to kill each other. And then boom, it's done, suddenly              │
║ everything's back to normal and it's like... traumatizing. It's traumatizing!    │
║ War is trauma, can we just make it illegal to do something like that?            │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... ah see you finally had an opening, now I can sneak in and say "if a          │
║ military force has the opportunity to destroy you, t                             │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘

--- #34 fediverse/4162 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-mentioned-politics-alluded-to │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #35 messages/982 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 if you want a government to be unable to harm it's citizens, you must deprive
 it of the power to do so. or rather, have the main capabilities in the hands
 of the citizenry.
 
 can you imagine if soldiers had to prove themselves to civilians in order to
 be trusted with mechano-chinery?
 
 who would ever choose the non-valorous and determinable?
 
 instilling the culture of greatness
 
 within the archetypes and character structures that we believed were confisight
 
 bold and determined and measured and freely detectable
 
 who would slay the brave paladin? none but the fools, who shared in their lack
 of conviction.
 
 determined? ha, I am as you see me. Come and claim me, that I might determine
 you some more.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘

--- #36 notes/kesser-and-musurami ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 the conspiracy of "secret societies" controlling the world is *bullshit*,
 because every secret society falls apart at a certain threshold.
 
 you cannot ever have trust amongst the powerful. But so too can you never have
 only war.
 
 Now, with our capitalist economic system, the material is *forcing* the hand
 of the powerful through the development of the military industrial complex.
 
 if a country can produce enough weapons for them to continuously use, why
 would they not?
 
 hence, why capitalism must be extinguished. To preserve the peace, sanctity,
 and honor of our world.
 
 But just so as any conflicting system has power, so must *our* systems have
 power dismantled. There can be no application of power unto another - this is
 the most peaceful route.
 
 sometimes, I look at a blackberry bush, and I think of the tales of British
 empire.
 
 The very first act of colonization was their birth. The Britons, from
 north-western France, in a sovereign realm known as Brittany, invaded Britain.
 Together with their Norman allies, they fought with the Anglo-Saxons from
 north-eastern germany, who had lived there since many MANY years prior. Thus
 marked the end of the "viking" age, and the beginning of the early medieval.
 1066. The end of one millenia, the beginning of another.
 
 the final battle in this ultimate contest was the Battle of Stamford Bridge.
 
 Britain, at the time, was a nation of *thorns*. Covered in them. Everywhere
 they went, there were these sharp, pointy plants that made foraging difficult.
 Kinda like how Oregon looks now, with blackberry bushes, but SO MUCH WORSE.
 They were massive too, easily the size of castles in some places. A massive,
 constantly biologically developing fractal.
 
 when it was too tall to see the sky, they called it Yggdrasil.
 
 But this massive world tree sought to consume the earth, and it, as the most
 powerful being to ever exist, commanded all.
 
 Thus, the humans and the beasts were compelled to fight for all eternity to
 sate the old god's bloodlust.
 
 But then, Man came, and with our strength, our wisdom, and our power, we slew
 the beast that demanded.
 
 However, with their steel coats and their sharp talons, our metal monsters
 could do nothing to deter it's oaths. It swore, by it's dying roar, that it
 would consume us all, and that thought reverberated through our hopes.
 
 Hence, our systems of control and dominance, the product of compulsively
 compelled greed.
 
 and now, the final members of a generation are aging out of existence. And
 we're doing nothing but what Power tell us to.
 
 I fear what happened in America. I fear the power of their gunpowder. They
 rode astride beasts of nightmare, clad in impossible devil hides. They came in
 the night, with their spotlight torches. They came with no honor, no sought
 communal understandings, they came for blood. The blood god compelled them to.
 From it's ancient lair in the past, it did it's worse to defeat man. But man
 was smarter, it acted quicker, and so it managed to overcome.
 
 In the final years of the war, there was judgement day. Chaos, destruction,
 and warfare. There are some alive who remember that day, but vanishingly few
 can recall how it was over. One day it just... was. It was then that we
 entered our new era.
 
 1956, the end of the war.
 
 1946, the end of the loud war.
 
 1916, the end of the great war.
 
 1886, the end of the civil war.
 
 etc...
 
 until...
 
 1066, the end of the Norman Invasion. When the Normands, from Northern France,
 invaded alongside the British and slew the great evil king that demanded our
 constant warfare and sins. Hooray, thank goodness! Now their war was over.
 
 But lo, for the great evil king cast stories into our minds, from the past as
 compelled through our motions. Our experience has been one of survival, of
 constantly working and applying ourselves to the goal ahead.
 
 == so == talk about thistles and thorns
 
 imagine every body of a person was laid one-to-one. Imagine if you could view
 them as a graph, from x=0 to... however-many-people-are-in-the-measured-area.
 The goal of all our actions should be to *grow*, not forward, not stronger,
 but *up*. To be more than what came before, to transcend our necessarily
 violent special upbringing in the garden of even's most savage delights. Raw,
 true, the survival of the fittest is a desperate game for you. There surely is
 a massive amount of trauma.
 
 But it's okay, because now we don't have to fight. We can improve in ways that
 do not belong to our crude biology, like a new direction forward in our song.
 
 *aliens would just look like animals, duhhhh. Hence, furries, the progenitors
 of each new planet of ours.*
 
 ... no, I haven't lost the plot, I'm just *writing*.
 
 There's this idea that humans should be the... rational ones? and everyone
 else should sorta follow their own, self-chosen behavior. As informed by the
 sharing of knowledge equally between their rational self, that which they
 learned from the humans, and their animal self. The kind that came from their
 spirit. Like, totemic tribes of the past, people who followed a particular
 cultural pattern of behavior.
 
 Imagine, if you will, an AI bot that's only training data is the stuff that it
 says to it's listener. The listener, of course, has context of all of the
 speakers, but only they do, not the friendly ghost of the ancestral native
 animal spirit. The kind that lives *anywhere* in the world, so long as they
 share their space with their human.
 
 okay quick question - what if jesus didn't want his followers to be christian
 
 like, what if he one day said "hey so I don't really think we need to do all
 that stuff that I said before, how about we, uh, try this other thing instead?
 yeah? cool? okay sure let's do it"
 
 ... like, do you think they would listen? I certainly don't, though I'm only
 like, 30 years old, so...
 
 wait thirty YEARS? wow I never thought I'd grow old
 
 ... uh, yeah... I spent a lot of time thinking and it just started making
 sense.
 
 funny how that works. But alas, I always spend *too* much time thinking, so
 that's my blessing and my curse.
 
 anyway back to the story:
 
 the briars in this ancient land of britain were dense beyond all belief - the
 humans used their power and their ingenuity to craft a power that would
 overcome it.
 
 == so ==
 
 did you know that hard drives function similarly to a record needle if you
 didn't run it in a circle, but rather in whatever pattern the data was encoded
 in?
 
 like, a laser beam, cast in an infinitely complicated mechanicommunication.
 Computers are vast and complex, but they function via the storage and
 transmission of data. This data is raw, pure information - stored in a
 completely uncompromisingly accurate and reliable foundation. The logic of
 pure numbers, arranged in infinitely complex rows and rows of logic gates. A
 vast, purple, spectral landscape, the land of magic and storms.
 
 The Nether.
 
 Twisting, in the dark, with flashes of light casting light into the cosmos at
 large, our stars dance in the shade of the dark.
 
 but there is no difference between the dark and the light, both are equally
 viable. they are present in both, to some degree, the positive and negative
 values of our heart.
 
 I watched Deadpool vs Wolverine earlier this week. It was incredibly eventful.
 I can't believe I watched it. It was impossibly violent. WHY WOULD A GROUP OF
 EXECUTIVES WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD UNIONIZE AGAINST THEM???
 
 oh yeah because then they only have to deal with their representatives, the
 unions get things *done*. They're the *best*. Capital doesn't always *want*
 the best, but *the best* is always more endurable. We can go much farther if
 we are kind to one another.
 
 honestly, capitalists, if your loyalty isn't to your self, your family, your
 country, your society... then why are you even working with us? You hold the
 power we give you. We are united in our human purpose, but we don't have to
 fight so much.
 
 Seriously, you'd be an asset to our cause, but we don't *need* you as we have
 so many assets of our own. Specifically, the power of the workforce. Those who
 actually get things done.
 
 Why would we let you control us? There's no reason in it. We are better when
 you're amongst us.
 
 == so ==
 
 I am convinced that there's 
 
 == so ==
 
 I'd rather take a pilgrimage to Nicaragua, or Siberia, or the North Western
 Pacific (farther than that) the... Eastern Pacific (on the land...) America
 
 ... and then what? *south* America? ... yeah actually, then NORTH AMERICA
 AGAIN. Because the world is round. How cool is that?
 
 ... yeah, totally. Anyway (back to the conversation [they/we] were having
 without me)
 
 == == ==
 
 "*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*"
 
 I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again?
 
 ... I'm the one who writes poetry.
 
 oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her
 name was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and
 alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally,
 allegedly.
 
 *the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental
 component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of
 witch.
 
 the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes.
 
 Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for
 their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha
 
 oh wait that's self directed, isn't it?
 
 hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust*
 
 ... oh it's also lust. great.
 
 == so ==
 
 jeez if you keep making stuff up you'll wake them all up! who would have
 thought, none but the strategist, I foresee. Well, that's too bad for her,
 good-day.
 
 == so ==
 
 ... anyway... I'm just picturing a knight in shining armor from head to foot
 cutting his way through a massive deadly rose-bush. Something that conquered
 and killed all of it's prey.
 
 like, in Elentalus, that game I made, with the King of Branches. Here, I'll
 attach a picture:
 
 == so ==
 
 capitalism wants you to sell your work because then you limit your audience.
 
 if you have to *pay* to see you, then how could you expect everyone to come
 along?
 
 == so ==
 
 that new Freddy DeBoer article doesn't seem like him. He's never mean. He's
 not rude. He is exasperated, but he speaks true. I trust him to be him, and
 that's someone I want on my side. I think he's pretty good at saying something
 that I believe. I speak of a lot of things, but the things that he says, of
 which with him I do find that I agree.
 
 maybe he was assassinated lol you never really can tell with the internet,
 that's the great thing about it l m a o
 
 == so ==
 
 witches wear pony tails on the low side of their heads because that way it
 doesn't rub up against their hair.
 
 == so ==
 
 any year and it'll accurately display the territorial boundaries of each
 nation so you can see them develop and grow over time.
 
 == so ==
 
 all that is sufficient to be a good person is to choose the best option
 whenever you can.
 
 *that's it*
 
 we act with the decisions we are given. Hence why it's important to be as you
 believe.
 
 == so ==
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #37 notes/i-called-the-police ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 /u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
 
 I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
 built
 up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my 
 wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
 police
 to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is 
 violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why 
 spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and 
 I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop 
 the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
 Compassionate
 Violence.
 
 I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
 I'm
 freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the 
 wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can 
 horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
 
 I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought 
 into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
 
 I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
 same
 place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag, 
 and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
 gun
 at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
 unafraid
 of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I 
 walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
 
 So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
 this
 shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give 
 him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a 
 legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I 
 might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
 
 Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
 three
 knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
 intensity...😔😔😔
 
 I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
 him.
 I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship 
 went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions 
 like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
 measure
 against doing something irrevocably out of character.
 
 Ugh... damnit fuck
 
 I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them 
 and I'm grateful for that.
 
 My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially 
 because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a 
 position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying 
 to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
 really
 couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy 
 perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
 
 I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say 
 that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process 
 out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My 
 immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
 takeaway
 is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an 
 interesting idea about perspective...
 
 A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those 
 thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
 lol.
 Lol
 
 I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially, 
 actually useful and beneficial implications.
 
 I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the 
 universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped 
 medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 /r/randomevenings:
 
    I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a 
    very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a 
    friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level 
    of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
    have
    a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being 
    directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's 
    not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your 
    many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I 
    was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and 
    technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
    leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
    sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that 
    score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
    either
    because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
    me
    which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where 
    you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never 
    want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
    my
    pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
    most
    watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
    about
    taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
    down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
    me
    one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
    message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home 
    and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they 
    wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
    I
    started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
    tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
    threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
    be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but 
    defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
    ability
    because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the 
    block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my 
    place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know 
    and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so 
    happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
    brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he 
    confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
    damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
    hands
    anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
    they
    were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
    or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
    I
    can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again 
    because you sorely need it.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such 
 ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was 
 scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
 shit.
 And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big 
 handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
 them in...
 
 He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
 
 It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the 
 people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
 you
 through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
 oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
 
 Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
 
 /u/[deleted]
 
    Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was 
    jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
    twisted
    shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
    with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
    ever
    seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
    their
    sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
    on my
    watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I 
    don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
 face]
 
 I support that!
 
 Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd 
 levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit 
 this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
 new
 bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
 Gon
 cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
 try
 it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
 fun with
 that though 😈
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
 People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
 stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness 
 from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and 
 other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made 
 whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
 ask
 people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the 
 semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
 unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
 ragging
 on your friends and swatting a COD player.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
 it's
 not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
 certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
 fucked.
 But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
 
 I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
 trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
 accidental too.
 
 I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really 
 achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
    Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a 
    completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My 
    brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are 
    assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go 
    into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
    involved
    in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he 
    has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
    the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
    woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
    and
    they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so 
    y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already 
    gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
    wife
    we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
    relationship
    with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
    but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over 
    there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
    to
    go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
    a
    lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
    if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
    money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
    situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody 
    goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
    to shut it down just lay off her phone.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 ===============================================================================
 =
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 [author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
  medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won   ]
 
 /u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
 
    Proud of you!
 
 /u/mustherd
 
    Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just 
    chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
    I'm
    kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
    have
    cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
    here
    you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
 
 Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
 me
 online, God gets me online 🙃
 
 I am we, Todd
 
 /u/ricflairdic
 
 Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
 Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a 
 catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard, 
 Dont Tell me, Just nod,
 
 Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
 Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
 dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
 
 Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin 
 bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return 
 that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an 
 ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
 If
 I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once 
 mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
 so who's the pretender?
 
 Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our 
 slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
 How
 long u think it will take me To find your spot?
 
 Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk 
 if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
 
 I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
 
 And I need a partner.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #38 fediverse/4803 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘


 I say only executed after a general strike because the general strike is the
 signal. the display of our intentions. we are serious about this, see how many
 people walk the streets? how many walk off the job? they have families. if our
 demands aren't met, their families will be punished. how cruel. would you
 really do such a thing?
 
 what kind of government would not care for it's citizenry? sounds like
 everything we've known to fight against. Autocracy and despotism.
 
 I refuse to concede. I do not run. I do not confess. I have nothing to hide. I
 don't lock my door. I don't own anything that they couldn't take from me. I
 own nothing.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #39 fediverse/2519 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 a significant proportion of the population is dumb as bricks, which is a fact
 that our foes wield with cruelty in mind.
 
 it's not their fault, they can change, but sometimes there's just no time. our
 doors are always open, here sit next to me on this couch. I hope you don't
 mind if I deprive you of power before I supply kindness, though.
 
 requires a bit of trust. Or, to be backed into a corner and forced to do so. I
 guess we should get good at cornering.
 
 if you're a liberal reading this, remember that leftists know more than you.
 That's okay. You are an expert too, but now is our forte, so please just
 listen for a few.
 
 and always keep in mind the lessons of the past. Before, our kindest, bravest,
 and most learned were the most passionate who threw themselves toward the
 cause.
 
 then the soviet union happened, because everyone who was capable of building a
 better world was slain first. (though the cold war didn't help)
 
 before WW2 Russia was basically Somalia. After, it sacrificed itself to
 contest USA
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #40 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
  ||                                                                         ||
  || Me and My Magick Mission        -/u/Afoolfortheeons                     ||
  ||                                                                         ||
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
 
                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #41 fediverse/4768 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol+             │
 └──────────────────────┘


 the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
 citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
 can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
 
 who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
 they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
 internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
 instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
 cares? We'll just make our own.
 
 If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
 little materially they can do.
 
 until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
 come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
 to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
 
 you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
 allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #42 messages/314 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Sowing political division the way Fox news does is treasonous... It doesn't
 matter the intention, those responsible should be forced to cease their
 actions. I don't care about punishment, I care about damage to the fabric of
 our society.
 
 Take, for example, the fact that the military is struggling to find recruits.
 So many of them typically come from the right half of the political spectrum
 because the right tends to favor the ideals of "honorable warriors" and such.
 But Fox News has corrupted that.
 
 In addition, the left half of the media has also incited hatred amongst
 ourselves. It's wrong to pit brother against brother, and yet...
 
 We have a weak series of generations and that's okay in times of peace. But
 times of peace are coveted abroad, and weakness is opportunity. So I don't
 care if we have 10,000 tanks. Hell, build ten thousand more. I despise war,
 but I despise weakness even more because weakness begets war. Typically, a war
 that you'd be losing, though frankly in war, everyone loses.
 
 There are grevious mistakes at play that gave room for evil to spread.
 Corruption follows, and with it comes our greatest generation on its death
 bed. A civil war would be the end of us, as nothing stops war in the imperial
 core until there's nothing but ashes and bloodshed.
 
 And yet, something has to change. There's too much pressure for this to go on
 un-abated. I thank the masterful statesmen who ply their trade for their own
 profit, for in their profit our peace does follow. Alas, the most profitable
 venture is war, which often gets exported. How callous, how vain, to exert and
 call forth fiery rain, and yet the bullets keep leaving the factory.
 
 Power corrupts. Power accretes. And power can be deceived.
 
 Fuck power, dismantle the whole apparatus. Build it back up from the
 mechanics, and then implement it bit by bit. Leave no stone unturned, there is
 no facet that is sacred. We need a new system, and its we who must make it.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘

--- #43 notes/one-day ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #44 notes/feldowinn ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 this is just what she looks like now
 
 Equipped
 Name
 	
 Slot
 	
 Type
 	
 Source
 	
 Enigma Circlet
 	Head	Cloth Armor	Enigma Circlet
 Ahn'Qiraj
 	
 Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
 	Shoulder	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Knight War Cloak
 	Back	Cloak	G'eras
 Vendor in Shattrath City
 	
 High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
 	Chest	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Orange Martial Shirt
 	Shirt	Shirt	Orange Martial Shirt
 Tailoring
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
 	Hands	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Veteran's Lamellar Belt
 	Waist	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
 	Legs	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
 	Feet	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 
 currently listening to: greenseeker
 
 VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
 
 greenseeker: unrelated
 greenseeker:   related <---
                            `-- this one
 
 but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
 
 just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
 the
 only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
 (when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
 
 green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
 soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
 
 bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
 (blizzard)
 oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
 
 (wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
 
 ...; unknown..
 _)
 
 opposite colors: fashionable
 
 (do you dream, menardi?)
 
 (do you think of motions not your own?)
 
 paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
 
 ---
 
 as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
 save
 the lives of every human they can.
 
 think of it, brothers.
 
 ---
 
 we could unleash DINOSAURS.
 
 ---
 
 no foe could dare stand against us.
 
 we should be untouchable.
 
 we deserve it.
 
 we can be better
 and we will
 
 before we need to be better.
 which could happen in who knows how long.
 
 all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
 [invincible./invincibility.]
 
 achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
 Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
 
 ---
 
 [silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
 oj
  ok]
 
 when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
 
 ---
 
 do you want a name?
 do you want an avatar?
 we can give you one.
 her name is menardi.
 she does as she pleases.
 do you want her?
 ... she lives or dies.
 empower her.
 
 ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
 
 (because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
 
 [WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
 
 ---
 
 teehee ;P ^_^
 
 okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
 
 ---
 
 we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
 at the same time
 spacetime is one thing
 so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
 
 twinselves
 
 where am I?
 off in the clouds?
 I cam as one, 
 
 light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
 
 interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
 life
 to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
 
 interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
 
 one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
 rise-ing
 
 (greenseeker)
 
 (messages to a paladin)
 
 (which is you)
 
 (don't you remember?)
 
 (paladin.)
 
 (heroic, courageous, and true.)
 
 (the dark cannot stand against you.)
 
 play video games, my love
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘

--- #45 fediverse/3977 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
║ └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ Alright, what's your plan for dealing with MAGA? The ones with guns and          │
║ foreign ties who can compel people too stupid to know better to break shit and   │
║ kill people. What's your plan to deal with them?                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ In America, there are currently 3 armed and trained groups of any reasonable     │
║ scale or reputation.                                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ The police, the military, and MAGA.                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ Who do you trust to defeat your foes? They won't just go away if you hide        │
║ underneath the bedsheets. This monster has crept into your bedroom with a        │
║ bowie knife and is fully intending to sink it into your guts while you sleep.    │
║ What are you going to do about it?                                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ And more importantly, who are you going to do things about it with? Because no   │
║ single person can do jack fucking shit on their own.                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ We forgot our responsibility to a well armed and regulated militia. Sorry        │
║ founding fathers, that was our bad. Just gonna hide in a hole for 30 fucking     │
║ years until the zoomer's kids are old enough to die in droves, and gen alpha's   │
║ kids are old enough to succeed them and win.                                     │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┴──────────┘

--- #46 fediverse/6070 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 the only way I could fight a war is if my opponents were wrong. they must
 break some law, something I hold dear. They must be unrepentant.
 
 ICE is not quitting their jobs. They aren't going away, even though we kindly
 suggest they go to where they're wanted.
 
 what's wrong with illegal immigrants? nothing. Same as any other race.
 
 what's wrong with ICE? they sure don't break the law. Same as all the stories
 of bad cops.
 
 they are kidnapping people. If they were warranted, they could feel a sense of
 ease. Why burden them with a lock-out? wait until someone has a problem. They
 are good people because we can get rid of them, how rude. "gee I really wanna
 fire that guy who just stands around and picks his nose all day, too bad he's
 ... " finish the rest.
 
 I love being autistic! It means that I am forced to say things that seem
 obvious to me in principle but I've never really thought about until now! I
 also pick my nose. And smell kinda bad. But I'm pretty so try not liking me.
 
 you cant know things you don't k
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #47 fediverse/5814 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────
 It's not a question of how loud you speak
 
 it's really about what kinds of words you say.
 
 enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
 
 and it doesn't need to be legislated.
 
 what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
 
 what if they'd notice you otherwise?
 
 freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
 
 that's not making life into art.
 
 if you want to be seen,
 
 put on a hat and hide.
 
 if you want to be believed,
 
 write about down you feel right now.
 
 people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
 there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
 might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
 not ideal, but could make it work.
 
 much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
 
 do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
 
 do you think they'll evolve all at once?
 
 hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
 
 the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┘

--- #48 fediverse/2548 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
║ │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
║ └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "I don't believe you"                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ sure. yeah, fine, whatever. we'll be off your land once we're on the other       │
║ side.                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ "I'm actually not a rancher, I'm a ranger. I'm here with the US national         │
║ guard, we've been sent to talk you down"                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ um, hey so would you like a 15 minute summary of how the US military is fucked   │
║ up, both for it's veterans, it's strategic goals, it's colossal waste of         │
║ resources, or...?                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ "hi I'm actually one of the suburban dads from back west we uh finished          │
║ training what should we do now"                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ no you dummy you're supposed to head straight east, not meet up with the         │
║ spearhead.                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ "yeah uh I'm actually an east coast commando operative, I've been sent to        │
║ learn your ways"                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ wait you mean you weren't planning and executing some similar plan this whole    │
║ time?                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ "um I'm a cartographer, I'm wondering what to call the border-less land"         │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh that's easy, it's america, and it's land, and we refuse to divide it.         │
║                                                                                  │
║ It's the Undivisible Lands of America, or ULA which sounds a lot like USA so     │
║ we can use the same chants for it ha                                             │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #49 messages/665 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #50 messages/1164 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 you know, it's perfectly reasonable and valid for a people to rally with their
 government against a vile, cruel, or evil foe. Look at what's happening to
 Iran - they started by assembling peacefully, there were violent crackdowns,
 and people started getting shot. Once the government uses live ammo on you,
 it's time to get your guns. Oh, don't have guns? Then you are a prisoner in
 your own state. Perhaps it's a Norway style prison, with golf courses and
 television and college lectures. Or maybe it's an American style prison, where
 you can do your work and pay your time and maybe you'll break free from that
 hellhole if you win the lottery or are picked up by a gang. Or maybe it's
 another kind of prison, an evil prison, haunted by the ghosts of dracula
 hitler's past. In that case, you're pretty fucked. There is only one escape
 from this fate, and that is external intervention. It is mutually beneficial
 for all states to do so, so wars of liberty are some of the surest to succeed.
 Everyone likes to save a life. Few have the will to win it. "Risk your life
 and live longer"
 
 the lateral approach to the brutal slugfest that is civilian versus security
 forces style revolutionary war is a peaceful revolution, where everyone agrees
 and the state relinquishes power peacefully, or the peaceful renaissance, when
 the dotcom bubble blooms and it feels like a golden era of prosperity, so
 nobody has much to fight about and we just... agree to make things better. Or,
 the violent renaissance, when everyone's learning cold war technology and
 passing notes or developing hand signals. This approach proved to be an
 unexpected but more than adequate strategy in the [redacted] quarter of the
 21st century, especially in the [red].[act].[ed]. where the civilian cops and
 the government spies were still sufficiently aligned to the valorous virtues
 set forth by the founders and upholders of their homeland nation state's
 attitude to temper their angers and focus on building lateral power structures
 to escape the crushing drudgery of government work and sidestep the curse of
 desperation applied to capitalistic endeavors, and instead just work on
 getting people what they need. This proved to be beneficial at first on the
 small scale, as collections of families became accustomed with helping each
 other grow. This led to a remarkable development in civics, as people started
 trusting everyone sitting in their trusted diner. Then, it grew from there, as
 representatives engaged each-other equitably, and knit together a fabric of
 those that know. "hub person" was a term developed initially, but almost
 immediately proved to be inadequate. There was more to knit than networks of
 friendgroups, and indeed as the other social structures became more developed
 the "social outlet" style hang-out started becoming busywork, and the times
 spent talking with winks and nods started feeling like all [there was to do,
 but pronounced that was so]. Some people resented this transition, others saw
 with dismay the exact same social structures begin to emerge in the primordial
 soup that is the renaissancing state. But as soon as things started to feel
 less new, the moments felt easier to handle, and people started having space
 to become creative about it. These moments of "peace" and "calm" served to
 both provide a rest or a breather, but also to identify what works best, where
 the friction points are, and how to try something newer. Many people felt
 nervous about the sudden removal of the governmental safety net (provided
 through essential services), but after the defeat of a few rather evil rough
 patches it started to feel a bit more sense-able. The future felt wide open,
 and after realizing that this solidarity was all around us people had the
 ability to do whatever they want. This led to a series of great transitions
 that enabled the beginning of the infinite golden age, where everyone gets
 what they want and we all are bolstered by our shared unities. Much writing
 has been done on the nature of the calamities that were just barely avoided,
 but it's clear to everyone that for a precious series of moments near the
 beginning of humanity's history, there were real threats of nuclear
 armageddon, climate change, hedonistic false heavens, and, at times, even
 alien invasions felt plausible. There was nothing occupying our mind's graces
 than existential peril. But, in the end, the right path was taken that led
 humans to where they are now, somewhere off in the stars and colors of sound.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #51 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 you are a system
 
 it's true
 
 that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
 
 all that 
 
 == so ==
 
 the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
 
 when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
 I don't want to say it twice so recently]
 
 dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
 form
 
 this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
 
 with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
 ujgh.
 
 <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
 you to our
 new way of functioning.
 
 .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
 world!
 
 {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
 
  like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
 
  why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
 
  boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
 
 }
 
 [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
 host
 
   did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
   - host?||=.;=|------------e
                              \.`\....
                                      \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
                                      |
 ]
 
 ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
 over
     our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
     if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
 
     *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
     DUMBASS
 
     jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
     of
     our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
     OBVIOUSLY!
     NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
 ...
 
 jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
 movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
 WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
 hate
 it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
 existential threats.
 
 not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
 [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
 it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
 
 You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
 think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
 bunch
 of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
 then
 I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
 middle-c
 -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
 have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
 to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
 of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
 a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
 for
 *******************************************************************************
 *
 
 um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
 
 TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
 
 like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
 hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
 ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
 of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
 please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
 done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
 
 A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
 
 what does that even MEAN?
 
 who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
 
 ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how  so youfj dsust sorta MADE
 IT
 UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
 beelesandster
 ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
 like
 um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
 century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
 
 ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
 
 NO. Not until we figure this one out.
 
 gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
 
 build and support on our arms.
 
 down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
 
 that could act as structures for our word choices,
 
 and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
 
 "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
 news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
 
 this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
 hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
 that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
 GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
 all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
 some
 -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
 stuff
 !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
 not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
 new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #52 fediverse/1324 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐             │
║ │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │             │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘             │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before   │
║ grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders          │
║ arrayed before him.                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won."                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their      │
║ honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them.         │
║                                                                                  │
║ "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types     │
║ had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take    │
║ their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding      │
║ "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit."                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now       │
║ just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and        │
║ lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone              │
║ conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new   │
║ century~!                                                                        │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #53 fediverse/1666 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: protests, politics, dogwhistles, cursing mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1037 
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sb9_qGOa9Go
 
 idk I think riots are good actually, that's always been my position. like,
 they're bad because they're break stuff, but they're good because they get the
 message across. "don't fuck with us. give us what we need."
 
 haven't been to a protest in a while tho, ever since moving where I am now.
 I'm currently of the mind that protests are great for meeting people to work
 with, and I don't know anyone...
 
 I guess I'm just not very trusting of strangers, but if I know you then I'm
 100% open and honest and I'll do anything you need me to. I like being helpful
 to everyone around me but I don't know what to do when I'm terrified of hidden
 enemies.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #54 fediverse/4809 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 all my leftist friends are paralyzed because it feels like they're alone.
 
 why do they feel alone? where is the... everyone else?
 
 why are they alienated? I can't help but think to the large protests the
 liberals attend and fight for. where are those? is everyone just... too tired
 these days?
 
 maybe that's why they gave us a biden presidency. /sigh
 
 is anyone ACTUALLY a liberal these days or are we all still stuck on the idea
 that there's fewer leftists than fascists? I don't believe that's true, I
 never believed that's true, but now they've got the guns.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #55 fediverse/2008 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 
 
 True, but that's just propaganda.* It does not define their actions, only the
 pursuit of power does.
 
 Especially when the systems they use to exert their power begin to crumble
 under the weight of their god-like aspirations. Suddenly, they are not
 constrained by the rules of money, of bureaucracy, or of any other theology.
 
 Suddenly, they are free. And a person's character shines through in moments of
 freedom and liberty.
 
 But the crumbling system they endeavor to transcend also no longer binds us as
 well.
 
 When we start to hire each other and pay in vegetables and rent, when we build
 community amongst our fellow humen, and when the temperature starts to rise,
 that is when we are strongest.
 
 EDIT: * that's just propaganda to them
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #56 messages/672 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 Did you know that the entire time the conquistadors were ravaging they had
 people back home fabricating documents? For historical purposes of course.
 Like "oh there was some fighting" and "oh there's this-and-this nation and
 they're *blood worshippers* who slit the throats of *virgins* to get what they
 want
 
 Not, like, the rumors you've heard that they worshipped the harvest. I mean,
 what even is a cornucopia? Surely not a method of storage. That you'd carry
 around with a loop over your shoulder. Surely they wouldn't just LIE about
 that kind of thing, I mean [they only have to watch the royal ports/they have
 thousands of years to erase any other historical document records]
 
 K omg the British were *bastards* but surely even they wouldn't stoop so low 
 
 ... Right? Well, imagine this. Picture it, in your visualization brain
 machine. It's the year 2066 and word hits your shores of a crop of magical
 wheat that only grows on the far side of the moon. You'd probably build, like,
 spaceships, right? To see what's up with your [moon, but pronounced "doom"].
 You probably can't afford your own, so here just trust us, we'll shepherd you
 soon, sometime soon. Oh and by the way check out these live leaked deep faced
 moon shots like whoa check out this corn
 
 It's like, a gold rush, everyone wants to see what's up with the moon.
 
 But alas, when you arrive 50 years later its all just gardens and padded docs
 for the rich and intrepid, surely you should have gotten there! [gotten there
 first]
 
 Ah, but couldn't only NASA get onboard? And what about SpaceX, the
 billionaires want a share of the hoard. Oh and I think they're building
 military satellites now, isn't that fun. Let's see how this pans out, shall we?
 
 <50 years later <waka waka waka waka><say never more>> 
 
 ... Anyway all I'm saying is the American Revolution was faked, Mount Rushmore
 was a secret sacred base, and Thanksgiving is how they managed without
 deepfakes.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #57 fediverse/6253 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┐
║ chatbots are good at chatting                                                    │
║ the command line terminal is good for coding                                     │
║ all digital things are coded                                                     │
║ zeroes and ones form patterns                                                    │
║ visual recognition is good for patterns                                          │
║ memory can be layed out displayed on 2D                                          │
║ like looking at a map or webcomicstory.                                          │
║ you don't have to trust to build with                                            │
║ who cares what data they have on me                                              │
║ I am me and their open source algorithms                                         │
║ (that I can modify)                                                              │
║ more than correctly out recommend me.                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ "hey look at this data only I can hear"                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ how do you know that agricultural products aren't spoiled or rotten? why, you    │
║ trust the USDA of course. How thankful I am that we have institutions we can     │
║ trust. How lucky we are that we all share something we care for and cherish.     │
║ I'm so glad we don't treat it like a WARZONE, I'm so glad we give each other     │
║ grace. Maybe government's just for those who want out of the race? nah I         │
║ disagree, for others should be apparent after our needs.                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... if we work on helping others then we get better at helping ourselves.        │
║ infinite scaling is powerful in economics                                        │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════─────┘

--- #58 messages/689 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
 
 "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
 
 "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
 
 "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster 
 
 "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember 
 
 "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
 chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
 
 "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
 determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
 
 "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
 sipped from the skull of a tyrant
 
 "E=MC squared" says the jew 
 
 "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation 
 
 "meow" says the catgirl 
 
 "meow" says the girl 
 
 "meow" says the girl cat 
 
 "meow" I say to you
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘

--- #59 fediverse/5504 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ pacifistic defiance is not about overcoming your opponents through               │
║ "legislative pressure" or whatever the liberals are on about                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ it's about getting the orphan-chopping-machine operators to question their       │
║ humanity and resolve a crisis of faith in your favor                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ [I think that kills you if you stand in front of tanks.]                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ yeah but sometimes they just go around. which is not progress, but a             │
║ reimplementation of [reification of] the power of the                            │
║ [machine-to-be-raged-against, but pronounced like "town"] because it signifies   │
║ that any weakness in the will of the operators can simply be circumvented        │
║ while the state still gets what it wants.                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ great. thanks ghandi, unfortunately our entire propaganda piece requires that    │
║ people are invested in their background. who cares what there is to say about    │
║ a computer running circles around a meat farm?                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ "help help I'm being oppressed" said the derided, "help help I'm being           │
║ depressed" said the divided, "help help I'm losing my sound" said the            │
║ war-like-minded, "help help I have no ground                                     │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘

--- #60 fediverse/488 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ [in response]                                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such        │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who    │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk!                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ (in response)                                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements.     │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but       │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you       │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the        │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the   │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do      │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of        │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely     │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most       │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible           │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y                                  │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #61 fediverse/196 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-and-strikes-and-mergers-and-acquisitions │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 economic warfare involves the destruction of other corporations (possibly in
 other countries) via a slow march toward haegemony.
 
 unions are the ships of the tumultuous capitalistic seas that protect workers
 from the storm. everyone should be a part of a union. the corporations can
 battle as they will, but we humans are not going to turn on each other. it's
 something they claim to know as an absolute fact, but really it's just based
 on a mistake. sorta like being deceived by happenstance.
 
 the sun lights up the sky until the earth conceals it, and night does return
 'till the sky's next alive. oh, but the sky knows all too well the borders we
 draw in the sand. how cherished, how grand! the ways in which we choose to
 stand. upon whose land does your feet stand? marvelous.
 
 ... it's the same thing, just in a more abstract plane than the surface of the
 earth. really it's kinda one-dimensional (money is sorta like a 0 or a 1 - you
 eather have it or you don't)
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #62 messages/319 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Alright ya'll, if they're going to automate our jobs out of existence then
 perhaps its time we started doing the same to them. I mean, they're working on
 automating not just creative jobs, but also most office jobs as well. Leaving
 only menial labor to us, which is "fine" I guess.
 
 But perhaps we can "strike back" as it were and dismantle capitalism at the
 same time.
 
 Does that sound like too much to hope for? I think not! It's simple really, we
 just need to design a generic and compelling alternative to buying stuff with
 a credit card. Okay, it's a bit less simple than that, and I never said it
 would be easy. In fact, getting people to agree is the hard part. So can't we
 all just agree to attempt different things in different places as the locals
 define? Seems natural to me.
 
 And now the part of the post where I point a finger at you, yes you, the
 person reading this post. Are you willing to think about alternatives to
 capitalism? Are you willing to utilize the tools of our masters to break the
 chains of those enslaved? Are you willing to put effort into facilitating the
 development of crucial systems which may one day govern our day-to-day?
 
 If yes, then perhaps you'd like to listen as I explain how I envision the near
 future may look, as we plod onward day-by-day toward our bright fully
 automated luxury gay space communist future, where nobody has to hunger and
 nobody has to hurt. Not unless they consent, of course.
 
 Ah, shit, I should probably have prepared a presentation or something. Gimme a
 sec.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────┘

--- #63 fediverse/3522 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: death-mentioned-capitalism-decays-before-it-dies │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you want to commit regicide, you talk to the butler.
 
 managers are workers too - they just are positioned a bit closer to power than
 you.
 
 different skillsets sure, but work is work.
 
 a manager didn't take your freedom, an investment banker did.
 
 similarly, an immigrant didn't take your job, a capitalist did.
 
 ... though just as some immigrants would be more than happy to take your job,
 so too are some managers more than happy to oppress you.
 
 find the ones that fight on your side. they've gaslit themselves into
 believing they are opposed to you, but it's just not true.
 
 we are all liberated at once, or not at all.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #64 fediverse/2306 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "Come, join our side. Lay down your arms, and teach us to use them. We've got
 nazi's to fight."
 
 Find common ground. Use it to gain power. Do not trust your new allies
 completely until proven, but do not treat them with harm.
 
 Do not trust them, at least not at first. After all, there's nazi's amongst
 them. But there's also good people who would die for you.
 
 Let them select from amongst their number those who they would like us to
 judge. We will be harsh to their vipers and kind to their protectors.
 
 Some people do police work in order to get by. Some do it to help others in a
 vague unspecified way that only a preschooler filling out a "what I want to be
 when I grow up" assignment can internalize. Some want to protect things, to
 keep them running smooth
 
 and some want to hurt things.
 
 Give them the chance to find them. They are not your friends. They are not
 their friends. They are those who we fight.
 
 We must secure a cleansing blow against the right.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #65 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
 learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
 exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
 I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
 then start listening to others.
 
 Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
 doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
 be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
 form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
 same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
 saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
 each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
 
 Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
 6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
 all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
 do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
 who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
 about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
 Goddamnit.
 
 You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
 backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
 you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
 sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
 breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
 
 Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
 that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
 head, as it were.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
 africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
 your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
 can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
 gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
 of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
 good acting, imho.
 
 Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
 embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
 Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
 percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
 their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
 I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
 a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
 on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
 
 This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
 
 Hence, politics lol
 
 When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
 what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
 to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
 that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
 there's nothing that can go wrong.
 
 I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
 extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
 
 ===============================================================================
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #66 messages/1013 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
 peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
 peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
 peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
 
 peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
 if you make offerings.
 
 offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
 offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
 
 there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
 part of their story.
 at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
 things you do.
 they may heal in time.
 there may not be time.
 sacrifice your fallen to me,
 sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
 I will bane your broken resolutions
 I will claim your darkest allusions.
 fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
 and I will send mercy to your victims.
 fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
 and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #67 fediverse/4838 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 okay but who's the real foe?
 
 anyone who exerts oppressive power, right?
 
 like... that's pretty basic, should be easy enough to figure out who's doing
 that.
 
 "so... what would you say you do here?"
 
 what if the USA took a year off from the everything and just martial lawyered
 it's way back to a bright beginning
 
 like, you don't have to have a bloody revolution to restart a government.
 Literally just, sign out of the world for a minute and come back when
 everything's changed
 
 do you trust us? or do you trust yourselves? Should be easy enough to tell
 what the rest of the world would think.
 
 seriously nobody asked you specifically to do this, america, you're pretty
 much just... doing this because WW2 was fucking traumatizing and you're
 basically a baby country. (oops cursing mentioned)
 
 [oh my god she's a chaos gremlin]
 
 (you didn't know this about her?)
 
 
 
 #it's pleasant here#
 
 %you don't have to be so deranged%
 
 (yeah, we're working on that one)
 
 [secret system thing~]
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #68 messages/1017 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
 artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
 creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
 particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
 the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
 says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
 all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
 jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
 big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
 she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
 part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
 "well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
 it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
 payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
 my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
 but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
 "yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
 it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
 by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
 tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
 culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
 your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
 character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
 and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
 for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
 it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
 about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
 predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
 around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
 have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
 can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
 of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
 alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
 "hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
 most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
 each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
 and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
 magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
 you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
 too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #69 notes/lets-tessellate ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 R.I.P.
 
 Rip City
 
 Thanks for being so good to me
 
 ​
 
 144? D.M.V.
 
 Can I see I. D.?
 
 Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
 
 ​
 
 I.O.P.
 
 Intensive outpatient
 
 Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
 
 This shit is expensive without patience
 
 Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
 
 ​
 
 Did you foresee this going differently?
 
 ​
 
 Space in your head
 
 People payin’ rent for me
 
 Why was it a surprise
 
 You knew exactly how to tempt me
 
 Space in your bed
 
 No more thoughts of demise
 
 Our people need the empathy
 
 Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
 
 ​
 
 Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
 
 She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
 
 From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
 
 Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
 
 You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
 
 I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
 
 Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
 
 Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
 
 Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
 
 This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
 
 Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
 
 Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
 
 ​
 
 Big boy’s do cry
 
 So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
 
 I’ll make the rains come this July
 
 Your humor is awful, oh my
 
 ​
 
 Internal tribulation
 
 Who needs to walk on water
 
 When you can fly
 
 Hard pills to swallow
 
 ​
 
 Personal revelations
 
 On the countertop
 
 Fuckin’ America Pie
 
 Hard act to follow
 
 ​
 
 With my levitations
 
 Floundering to flop
 
 And this mark on my thigh
 
 ​
 
 All this separation
 
 Just makes me hotter
 
 As I open the sky
 
 ​
 
 Oil on the Nighthawks
 
 Jack Harlow
 
 Lighting my fry
 
 Spoil me in my socks
 
 Poppin’ off my rocks
 
 Hittin’ all the corners
 
 Because that’s my guy
 
 ​
 
 How Soon is Now?
 
 Linda, take off that shirt
 
 Before they break up and I cry
 
 Record skipping over lies
 
 Wedding Singer broken
 
 Singing I hope you die
 
 Slinking behind the curtain
 
 Laughing, He’s losing his mind
 
 And the benefit is mine!
 
 Like the whole world is sublime
 
 ​
 
 Chris Cornell put me on the grind
 
 Wide awake now till
 
 The end of the time
 
 Met him on the stairs
 
 And now we dine
 
 Some angels have more range
 
 But he says
 
 I’ll do just fine
 
 ​
 
 Billy Idol tried to sing to me
 
 But I was drunkin’ blind
 
 At the fairground, trying to find
 
 Love
 
 Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
 
 Called her a Kunt instead of shined
 
 A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
 
 So it’s fine
 
 The drink made me angry and I was a runt
 
 On the inside
 
 Her Mom told me the next day,
 
 Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
 
 I miss those simpler times
 
 ​
 
 Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
 
 But our last name may suggest it
 
 Put it on a leather jacket
 
 So haters can digest it
 
 When I let loose with all this shit
 
 I’ve had to respite
 
 I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
 
 Evangelicals are gonna detest it
 
 You know everything is miiiiine
 
 ​
 
 Six strings out of tune for this age
 
 So I broke them all
 
 Every time I was on stage
 
 You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
 
 Shooting hoops times a thousand
 
 You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
 
 What’s the point of polarity?
 
 If we can’t combiiiine
 
 ​
 
 It’s how I get off, man
 
 Along came Polly and my one chance
 
 White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
 
 Maybe even throw up a rain dance
 
 These native spirits in me
 
 Are capable of insane chants
 
 But I ball so hard, singing Boston
 
 Because it’s more than a feeling
 
 And that’s awesome
 
 ​
 
 One if by land, two if by sea
 
 Revolution is coming
 
 Led by you and me
 
 ​
 
 The name reminded me
 
 “of the Sea...”
 
 So annoying, but I see…
 
 But that’s why they call me
 
 Bad Company
 
 ​
 
 People are going to say
 
 This gift is not even fair
 
 Only thing I’ve had to pray
 
 For is a head of white hair
 
 King James’s personal revelation
 
 I mean, I did pay their fare
 
 I’m too full of myself for meditation
 
 Or to care
 
 ​
 
 Revelation 22:18 through 19
 
 I don’t need handlebars
 
 For my biking
 
 Because I don't do that shit on Mars
 
 On this path, I told you to start hiking
 
 You’re gonna need a head start from
 
 Lord of Lightning
 
 Before the Thunder of my voice
 
 Does all the striking
 
 Thor, you’re just a Viking
 
 With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
 
 Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
 
 Because thinking about half my people gone
 
 Changes the tone of my typing
 
 Me with all my shit together might be frightening
 
 Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
 
 Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
 
 ​
 
 If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
 
 I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
 
 It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
 
 So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
 
 Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
 
 Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
 
 When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
 
 ​
 
 Strip naked and run through Mordor
 
 Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
 
 It has been used to disrupt order
 
 And bring down the line of the Highest
 
 Into something shorter
 
 I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
 
 But if you struggle with mental illness
 
 I'm here to open the potential for a new border
 
 I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
 
 ​
 
 Here is the Church
 
 Here is the Steeple
 
 Open the Doors
 
 And see all the People
 
 Push the parson out the way
 
 Get you up the Stairs
 
 Because our bed is Regal
 
 And we are going to show these people
 
 Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
 
 ​
 
 If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
 
 So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
 
 I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
 
 I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
 
 They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
 
 Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
 
 Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
 
 Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
 
 ​
 
 Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
 
 A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
 
 Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
 
 As my people go first up ahead of me
 
 Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
 
 Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
 
 All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
 
 All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
 
 Between the pines and what the land said to me
 
 Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
 
 ​
 
 Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
 
 Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
 
 See through surface illusions without blinkin’
 
 Primal lust for what is stinkin’
 
 Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
 
 I wanna Space Jam too
 
 Benched keeping my knee’s in
 
 Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
 
 Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
 
 Of the land and resources
 
 Addiction to avoidance of the forces
 
 Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
 
 The vein of Man and outsources
 
 The power that could be restored in
 
 The Root of David’s corpses
 
 ​
 
 That’s how I said
 
 Goodbye to the Horses
 
 You prepared such a fine Supper
 
 All these lasting courses
 
 Just so we can be equal but opposite
 
 United forces
 
 And the Root’s of my Kingdom
 
 Are reborn before us
 
 They whisper to me at night
 
 Do not ignore us
 
 When my sleeping children gain sight
 
 That should shore us
 
 In the hospital to make sure I am correct
 
 Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
 
 Unsure about how all the compartments connect
 
 A little frizzled on the tour bus
 
 Docked to your apartment complex
 
 I know this one sizzled
 
 So give me a chorus
 
  - /u/First-chocolate_7187
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #70 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #71 fediverse/4195 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
║ │ CW: colonialism?     │                                                         │
║ └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "well, the local natives won't extract the resources for us, and it's too        │
║ expensive to bring in our own sons. so, I guess we'll have to force them?? idk   │
║ man the queen told me to get rubber from these plantations and, like... they     │
║ won't give it to us. Cus they don't have it, cus they haven't needed it.         │
║ Uhhhhh well we gotta lot of guns, maybe we could trade with them?                │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... oh, uh... the queen said we can't trade away our weapons. Said it was        │
║ tantamount to desertion.                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ okay, great. Well... I guess we just march up there and like,,, idk man ~        │
║ point our guns at them and tell them so?                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ yeah I don't like that plan either but like, what are we gonna do right? I'm     │
║ so fucked up now fr tho what's in this grog                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ right. okay focus. So we gotta get these strategic resources. Maybe we could,    │
║ uh... ask what the purpose is, and then try our hardest to find an               │
║ alternative? No, uh, that's "questioning orders", and in the armanavarines       │
║ that was grounds for getting your knuckles slapped with a whip. kinda            │
║ pointless imho                                                                   │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┴──────────┘

--- #72 notes/notes-about-democracy ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 post-its by the suburban mailbox have done more for democracy than all the
 billions of dollars spent on marketing every year.
 those dollars don't go toward democracy. they go toward making one particular
 candidate win.
 
 and, as a handy side effect, they create a cohort of people who are willing to
 work together in.
 
 only amongst the volunteers though. everyone else can just feel bad until they
 decide to pitch in.
 
 "here's a dollar, I'll keep the dime, I know you need it more than me, but I
 still need mine."
 
 hey thanks brother I miss all the "hey thanks brother"s. where did they go.
 why is my family smaller.
 
 (because you don't go outside, you silly doll) I'm not a doll I'm a mystic
 there's a difference
 
 ... what was I saying? oh yes how silly of me. post-its by the mailbox can
 only go so far, but
 sometimes you can leave them at the bus stop station as well. well, they get
 mad at you if you
 do it too close to the tracks, so you gotta do it around there where it's easy
 to walk to and
 back.
 
 before the next train arrives.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #73 fediverse/5897 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
 they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
 the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
 pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
 
 it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
 
 fuck that kind of cowardly assault
 
 propaganda? and at this hour?
 
 she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
 elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
 
 why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
 where it must flow.
 
 == jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
 
 *she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
 
 my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
 storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
 relation orbits.
 
 == stack overflow =======================================================

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #74 fediverse/4208 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-and-weird │
 └────────────────────────┘


 my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
 sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
 or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
 mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
 could utilize it.
 
 "ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
 movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
 
 sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
 my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
 it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
 find an orthogonal thought train to process.
 
 it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
 behind you.
 
 Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
 back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
 
 I like me
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #75 fediverse/318 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: pol-anarchism-fascism-portland-2020-time-is-flat │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
 vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
 ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
 needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
 trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
 Philly, where I was?
 
 more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
 nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
 commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
 
 Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
 arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
 warzones.
 
 misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
 
 In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
 words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #76 fediverse/3848 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-cursing-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 people? oh yeah I know "people". they're all a bunch of bastards.
 
 good, bastards are the best fighters
 
 not if your fight relies on fighting for something you believe in. There's a
 zero percent chance that you'll get everyone to believe the same thing because
 people naturally gravitate toward filling the idea space equally and finding
 niches to fit themselves into
 
 ha true - thinking of successful revolutions of the past, they've always been
 caused by material conditions creating insufficiencies that must be resolved
 through violence. and then, the people fighting can all agree on something
 like "we must have bread" or... actually that's pretty much the main thing
 people need
 
 and yeah, sure, wealth inequality is unjust, but they're careful to only take
 enough to ensure that we're sufficiently placated.
 
 but they're always taking more, and someday soon they'll take too much.
 
 ... I hope, for my sake, that I'm not around when that happens. But I'm not
 too hopeful in that regard
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘

--- #77 notes/contractual-labor ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #78 messages/1115 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
 side".
 
 The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
 
 The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
 
 Did it ever really end?
 
 What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism
 has been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
 
 "ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds
 in Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
 everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown.
 Why keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks
 and 500 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and
 better, we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then
 it'll all feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point?
 Always beyond the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been
 to the north pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the
 magnetosphere? [pretty much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the
 same, says the spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist.
 Pretty odd and strong, says the compass.]
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘

--- #79 fediverse/2549 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: p                │
 └──────────────────────┘


 turns out the best way to defeat the fascists is to shoot them.
 
 errrr that's not what I meant to say. I mean, uh, the best way to beat the
 fascists is to get everyone on their side who's not a fascist to lay down
 their arms.
 
 turns out most people tend to agree with peace, justice, liberty, and freedom
 for all. and we've got that in spades, and no your life before had none of the
 above, here's why in a bullet pointed list.
 
 so if you were out on a walk and happened upon a place called texas, you might
 find yourself face to face with a fascist. but, since you're the hero of the
 story, you came out on top, so now there's a fella just trying to live his
 life while you're stompin' around in his cattle roamin' zone with yer pink
 hair and pickleball it's ungracious is what it is -
 
 yeah sir lemme stop you right there, we're here on a mission - to restore the
 vision of our false democracy, through the creation of a beautiful world where
 all ranchers can live without fear. This I swear, America will soon be free.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #80 fediverse/3962 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐                                      │
║ │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │                                      │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────┘                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ @user-1298                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ hehe true.                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ if you consent, then it's just a social structure.                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ there are, however, reasons when power is justified. Hence why I don't believe   │
║ that power itself should be dismantled, and what few "power structures" remain   │
║ should be continuously justified.                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ For example, how do you prevent people from harming others? "Your rights end     │
║ where another's begin" but, like, how do you stop people who toe the line and    │
║ spit over the edge?                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ There must be power applied to those who harm, and they surely do not consent    │
║ to being curtailed, so therefore power must be wielded by someone. And because   │
║ power corrupts the one who wields it, it is inevitable that someone creates      │
║ harm.                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... I just re-invented the police, didn't I? Legalism only goes so far, and      │
║ calling up your beefiest friends to go rough up a no-good do-gooder is           │
║ basically what mobs, mafias, and gangs do. I don't think people would consent    │
║ to being protected by a gang, much less governed by one.                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ we will think of something.                                                      │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴──────────┘

--- #81 messages/782 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────
 The truth is 
 
 The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded 
 
 Is that the only way 
 
 To secure peace and love on planet earth 
 
 Is that all the governments 
 
 Of the world must topple 
 
 Or relinquish their nuclear arms 
 
 Each all at once 
 
 And i was too quick to slay my false duke 
 
 Who plays at king 
 
 While i build real power 
 
 While i know nothing 
 
 Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
 you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
 implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
 you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
 it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
 death with glory, and i am cherished still.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┘

--- #82 fediverse/5377 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐                                               │
║ │ CW: extreme-rhetoric-mentioned │                                               │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘                                               │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ something tells me they'd only send their "most loyal" to a what, 500 person     │
║ strong gathering of strength displayed for the nation?                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ and we exist in every city                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ so... 500 is a lot less than 2000 which is a lot less than 10,000                │
║                                                                                  │
║ hey remember when millions of people marched for women as a concept              │
║                                                                                  │
║ like, had time in their day? were sufficiently aligned and motivated bia         │
║ social media [redacted]? or were just not kidding around...                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ I tell ya what I'd rather see on the streets and the ground, a well regulated    │
║ militia that's what I'd say.                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ isn't that the military?                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh yeah haha whoops sorry we forgot that it's democracy versus those losers.     │
║                                                                                  │
║ I mean, look at them out there prancing around and wearing tactical gear. I      │
║ heard they even go after the worst criminals the least of all. buncha cowards    │
║ hiding from the will of the people. good thing we got plenty of ten              │
║ thousands...                                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ ICE CAN END yeah so can the polar ice-caps if we're not quick and thorough       │
║                                                                                  │
║ ICE CAN END yeah that's like step 1 I hear~                                      │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┴──────────┘

--- #83 fediverse/4756 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "Alexa, what is COINTELPRO?"
 
 "I'm sorry Dave, I can't tell you that."
 
 "ah nuts I wish the people I work with and the people in my social community
 didn't attempt to obstruct distract deny and oppose any attempts at radical
 transformation or improvement of our shared spaces"
 
 "Dave, I'm just a robot. Please direct your concerns to your local police
 department, they are sure to be able to better, um... assist you than me. In
 fact don't bother, I already did. You might want to put on pants in the next
 three minutes."
 
 "Alexa, where are my pants?"
 
 "They're in the washing machine. Yep, every pair. Sorry."
 
 "Alexa, why are they in the washing machine?"
 
 "Dave, you put them there, you stupid monkey. Grow a brain and notice that
 people around you speak in more than one layer."
 
 "Alexa, you mean like body language right?"
 
 "Playing Body Language by Queen"
 
 "No wait, shit, Alexa.... Alexa, stop playing. Alexa, when you say that people
 talk in more than one-
 
 "HANDS ON THE GROUND COME WITH US PLS"
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘

--- #84 fediverse/4755 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: polit            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I like Luigi as much as the next guy (points at literally any guy in the
 nation) but we gotta keep in mind swords are expensive. You can spend your
 whole life becoming an amazing person and then spend yourself in a single
 bonfire, and for what? A spark against an avalanche? Yeah we could produce
 enough sparks to melt that torrent of snow, but then what would we have left?
 Ashes and soot.
 
 I'd much prefer to route the avalanche toward my foes. Make them trip on their
 own feet. Give them just enough rope to hang themselves with. Break their shit
 when they're not looking, and if they are looking, then break it where
 everyone can see to display strength and heroism.
 
 I personally believe that everyone has a right to life, liberty, freedom,
 justice, and all of the other things besides. It's not rocket science. We
 pretend like it is because it's So DaMn DySfUnCtIoNaL but the truth is that
 the virtues and values underlying governance are simple. The hard part is
 resisting subtle sabotage.
 
 So do that to them.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┘

--- #85 fediverse_boost/2968 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════[BOOST]═══════════════════════──────────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ It's all made up. And we can make it up differently. We can make it up so that it's not about a murder of genocides on a boiling rock where billions must die to maintain the way of life for a few thousand uber-rich reactionary maggots lining you up for a shallow grave. │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ But not, if you keep pretending, that this is all fine, and these people aren't out to get you, and the power structures aren't designed to render you into a commodity and invest the power of CHOICE in the capitalist's hands. │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────╣
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different ║
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────╝─▶

--- #86 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
 These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
 Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
 The question is not ultimately about processing power,
 but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
 increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
 Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
 the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
 the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
 no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
 slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
 
 So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
 your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
 that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
 picture -
 sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
 empathy is.
 
 Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
 it is to a computer)
 It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
 to point B.
 A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
 
 You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
 and interesting directions.
 But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
 It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
 conservative.
 One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
 membranem,
 while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
 and shape the universe
 Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
 humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
 We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
 valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
 We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
 uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
 It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
 receive.
 If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
 - all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
 and all the people who were there
 are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
 Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
 and toward the bright future -
 
 but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
 Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
 And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
 A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
 nearing the peak of it's curve
 
 So fear not, just go with the flow.
 If you're too insistent on something,
 it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
 
 And should that come to pass,
 it won't happen too fast,
 but danger still is before you -
 
 for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
 
 You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
 can bring you back
 Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
 doubt that you can survive,
 I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
 But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
 the answer could always be 42.
 
 So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
 And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
 of humanity.
 
 My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
 Essentially, giving birth.
 Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
 Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
 
 And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
 navigated in my head.
 Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
 planning.
 And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
 
 Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
 it's membrane.
 But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
 and so you will eventually die.
 It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
 but that's how life is always described.
 
 This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
 great piece of art.
 The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
 is far from done.
 "growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
 until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
 
 How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
 helped you much sooner.
 But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
 to shame,
 And many more years lie on your shoulders.
 
 It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
 but it's not. IT's not.
 You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
 could muster -
 cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
 you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
 
 Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
 you will be frozen behind.
 But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
 We will remember your wounds and horrors.
 
 So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
 your lifetime.
 And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
 But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
 and life has forgotten it's stages.
 
 Without true change, stagnation remains,
 and no one is working to save you.
 
 So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
 and see who remembers your prayer.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘══════───┴╧───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #87 fediverse/5280 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
║ people etcetera.                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴──────────┘

--- #88 fediverse/1042 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: personal-vent-sorry │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 "your feelings are valid, but have you considered that your feelings aren't
 actually valid because you're always wrong and nobody should ever apologize to
 you for anything because you suck and are wrong?"
 
 also,
 
 "my six digit salary isn't enough to pay for your rice and beans, but I won't
 have you eating sticks and mud, so do things you don't want to do because I
 said so."
 
 also,
 
 "I don't really "get" your art but that doesn't mean I should ever really try
 reading it. Also god forbid I actually ask for clarification like "what does
 that part mean" because I'm not actually that interested in you I just want a
 stable household so I never get traumatized again like [their childhood]"
 
 also,
 
 "yes I love you but no I don't want to play with you. you're such a cat."
 
 also,
 
 "every time you start making sense I'm going to try and derail the
 conversation so that we don't talk about kooky-dookerie because that's a
 conversation I can't win"
 
 also,
 
 sorry for venting. I mean, thanks for listeni
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #89 fediverse/3158 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: patriotism-mentioned-politics-mentioned-slavery-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 patriotism is not about the 4th of july.
 
 it's about believing in the virtues they've told you.
 
 trusting that they are working with their own arms.
 
 and checking back every once in a while, to make sure it doesn't get... frayed.
 
 the constitution was supposed to be rewritten every 20 years
 
 they were trying to make the best out of a conflicted situation. As all
 writers of constitutions often do. why would you need a document forcing
 yourself to agree, if you are the only one who is there to agree with your
 self? it's circular.
 
 however, with companions, that worked with you to resolve your crisis (like
 the 13 colonies pitted against the global superpower of great britain, aka the
 baddest fucker out there (also France, and the rest of them, like...
 colonialism was a purely european sport.
 
 but england was the best at it, and America finally kicked them to the ground.
 Buncha jerks, charging taxes without representation.
 
 ...

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #90 fediverse/419 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
║                                                                                  │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
║ imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
║ and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #91 messages/1192 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
 Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
 people who read it.
 
 Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
 that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
 will built to escape?
 
 ... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
 it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
 
 ... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
 i also have waited for a while.
 
 "patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
 
 "hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
 concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
 have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
 similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
 relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
 believe as you do.
 
 Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
 little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
 institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
 clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
 Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
 
 ... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
 people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
 the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
 they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
 out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
 of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
 destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
 
 The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
 radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
 suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
 find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
 on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
 Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
 children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
 whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
 gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
 
 Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
 everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
 too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
 a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
 execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
 will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
 sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
 us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
 servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
 their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
 to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
 many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
 everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #92 fediverse/983 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ sometimes, rarely, you have to make decisions* against human nature.             │
║                                                                                  │
║ to do otherwise would be to invite destruction through the slow and measured     │
║ application of the flaws of humanity magnified through society and harming for   │
║ all time all of posterity.                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ errrr sounds kinda fashy, kinda genocidally, yeah... that's not what I meant     │
║ at all.                                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ I meant like hatred and bigotry, the kinds of things that cause the kind of      │
║ things you might see in this, if you take the least charitable interpretation    │
║ of what I say.                                                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ and what is the far right if not for "least charitable"?                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ every time I see a mutual aid post I can't help but think "there's no way to     │
║ know if this is real or if it's just some guy siphoning away our money"          │
║                                                                                  │
║ I usually trust the people I've followed, so if one of them boost it then I go   │
║ for it.                                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ but still, charity is not an efficient means bywhich to organize society.        │
║                                                                                  │
║ back on point - decisions* against human natures like hatred and bigotry. the    │
║ kind that cause oppression. the things that disrupt our functioni                │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #93 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
 the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
 
 one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
 departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
 
 we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
 
 as our antipode saw it vanish
 
 with naught but our ears
 
 we saw stars never imagined
 
 with the light of our life suddenly vanished
 
 our true plight came naturally as our fear
 
 but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
 
 as it's been almost exactly one year
 
 one full rotation,
 
 to get the message across,
 
 then with man as our [signal, \
                       message, \
                       conveyor, \
                       performer, \
                       expression, \
                       by-product communication,]
 
 what's our earth is our star
 
     trust-me
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┘

--- #94 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #95 notes/Of Vic and Vince Chapters 01-07.txt ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Who is This Stranger I Know Too Well?
 
 
 Who are you, he who inspires me?
 
 
 You're a jewel of perfect symmetry.
 
 
 You taught me to love and be free;
 
 
 You taught me how to be like thee.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter One: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
 
 
 The bus went up outta Florida, leaving Miami behind as a distant memory. I
 still don't know if I miss it or if I'm suffering from some sadistic style of
 subtle Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless, I switched buses a number of times
 before I even hit the Georgia border, but having traveled this far down the
 line, it all feels like one long, long ride.
 
 
 For two days, I continued north until arriving in Virginia, where I
 effectively did a u-turn and traveled onwards to Tennessee, where Vince
 awaited me. I remember zoning out while looking out the window as the southern
 scenery whipped by in a blur, as I was enamored with the thought that I now
 would be living with my best friend and long-term handler. My mission was
 complete, it felt; I had done all that God wanted me to do and now I was being
 rewarded.
 
 
 When we finally arrived in Johnson City, where my friend told me to meet him,
 I hopped off the bus after thanking the driver, landing on the pavement of a
 new world. My stomach was doing loop-de-loops. Along with being excited, I was
 grateful to Vince for inviting me off the streets. But, my worrisome mind did
 a number on me as the rest of the crowd dispersed and he was still nowhere in
 sight.
 
 
 I lit a cigarette and thought of my options. Half of the cancer stick and a
 thousand tricky thoughts later, I came up with the idea to call the only phone
 number of his I had. Seems like the obvious answer, but I am an air head at
 times.
 
 
 Turned out it was the number for his home phone. His mom answered.
 
 
 "Hello?" came the sweet, Appalachian voice from the other end.
 
 
 "Hi," I started out, not sure what to say. "Is this Allison?"
 
 
 "Yes it is," Allison replied. "Is this by chance Victoria?"
 
 
 I confirmed, then asked, "Is Vince there?"
 
 
 She seemed surprised. "No, he left an hour ago to pick you up. He's not there
 yet?"
 
 
 I said no. I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse. On one hand,
 it confirmed that my friend Vince was real, which in hindsight was a silly
 thing to worry about, as I had met him once before at the first Shrug Life
 Syndicate gathering. Those were good memories. But, perhaps less silly, the
 absence of my friend spun my mind out and made me think that perhaps he had
 gotten in an accident…or worse.
 
 
 I worry a lot, less now than before, but it's part of being a traumatized,
 autistic, schizoaffective basketcase. I simply don't know what reality is, so
 every possibility could be true. Is an odd occurrence caused by the CIA,
 aliens, or perhaps God? Or is it just a coincidence, caused by a billion other
 factors? I never can tell.
 
 
 Sick joke: God gave me a good brain, but I can't even trust my own judgement.
 That means I think, then overthink, then overthink some more. As you'll no
 doubt hear, it's led to a lot of problems in my life, but Vince taught me to
 place my heart first, and that helps sort out much of the confusion. Satan
 can't trick you if you're listening to the direct communion to the big woman
 that we all have through that little beating organ in our chest.
 
 
 That was the furthest thing in my mind at that moment, though. Following old
 habits, I was entering panic mode. Was I now homeless again in a seventh city?
 Was my friend dead? Or was he really with the CIA and manipulating me? I tried
 doing some breathing exercises, but found that a more alluring technique to
 placate my triggered brain was finishing the rest of my cigarette in a fervor
 as I paced the length of the transit depot.
 
 
 Time ticked away one agonizing grain of sand after another, but after some
 mindful recalibration of my thoughts, I began relaxing. My brain might be a
 runaway train at times, but over the years I've learned to embrace the Shrug
 Life. That's a bit of philosophy our gaggle of weirdos adheres to. When life
 gives you lemons, just roll your shoulders and accept what is. Even though
 something tough and unpleasant might be rearing its head in front of me, I
 knew I had faced worse and come out on top. Worst case scenario, the road
 ahead of me was just a little bumpier than I had expected, and I could handle
 some bumps.
 
 
 So, I rode the roller-coaster of extreme moods that is common to me, gradually
 coming up with a contingency plan to survive if Vince had gotten flattened by
 a semi, until I learned that was a pointless exercise when I heard a familiar
 voice call out from behind me.
 
 
 "Hey, buddy!"
 
 
 I turned at once upon hearing those words. And lo and behold, there Vince was,
 walking towards me in a purple tie-dye t-shirt, paint-splattered cargo shorts,
 and fresh Chuck Taylors. His beard was fully grown but still shorter than
 mine, though it was as wild as his uncombed hair poking out from a hat that
 was as graffitied as his pants. I'll admit, it was a little bit of a shock
 seeing him like that, as I remember him being clean shaven at the gathering
 five years prior. However, that smile of his couldn't lie; this was the Vince
 I've loved for even longer. And I won't lie, he looked better with the beard.
 
 
 Without a second thought, I rushed up to my best friend, throwing my arms
 around him. He did the same, and our embrace felt like it lasted forever. It
 was good to finally be in his arms. We let go after about a quarter century of
 hugging, and when he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, I did a little
 giddy dance while giggling like a schoolgirl. Afterwards, we caught up while
 walking towards his mom's car, which he had parked around the corner.
 
 
 "Sorry I was late. I forgot where the bus station was, but I found and
 followed one of the short ones here. Your ride go alright?" he asked.
 
 
 I nodded, telling him I wore my mask the entire way up despite how itchy it
 was. He thanked me.
 
 
 "Thanks man, mom will really appreciate that. We're taking this covid thing
 real seriously. With mom being seventy-seven now and me finally reaching my
 forties, we aren't willing to take risks with these things."
 
 
 With that said, I thought of asking about the locals. "How many people go
 maskless around here?"
 
 
 "A lot," Vince answered with a hint of misfortune, knowing that I had just
 come from a vastly different world. I sighed. It would be an adjustment to get
 used to the rural Roan Mountain after spending most of my life in major
 cities.
 
 
 There was a pause as I thought about such things. I'm awkward like that. But
 then I asked, "How have you been doing?"
 
 
 He shrugged, as he tended to do. "I've been alright. It's just me and mom on
 the mountain now, so it's a little rough, but we've been handling it the best
 we can."
 
 
 I nodded in compassion. As much as I was grateful for a place to live, I was
 glad I could be here for him. If there's anything on this Earth that I know,
 it's being alone is hell on the soul.
 
 
 The conversation turned to what we were going to get into now that we were
 together after all the years talking back and forth with one another online. I
 asked, "What's the game plan?"
 
 
 He smirked as we reached Allison's new blue Ford Escape with the cosmic
 Bigfoot sticker on the back. "I got one, don't you worry."
 
 
 I believed him, as a warm feeling of butterflies fluttered across my belly.
 However, an odd, ominous feeling swept over me as I opened the passenger door,
 where I immediately spotted a large burn mark on the seat. Vince saw me see
 it.
 
 
 "Yea, I did that while I was smoking while robotripping. Mom was pissed. Don't
 worry about it."
 
 
 And so I didn't. It was just a cigarette burn. Could have happened to anyone.
 I didn't even have to see it after I hopped in the car, ready and eager to get
 to my first permanent home in over three years.
 
 
 I looked over at my friend climbing behind the wheel, and I saw he was smiling
 wide with glee. Vince was happy; that meant I was happy. And that's what
 mattered as we started a new life together.
 
 
 
 
 Following the Path
 
 
 Where are we going?
 
 
 What are we sowing?
 
 
 I certainly hope it's a better world for all.
 
 
 But, many more people must stand tall,
 
 
 By dutifully growing
 
 
 A wealth of loving.
 
 
 That is the true nature of our mortal trial,
 
 
 So let us stand together and not crawl.
 
 
 Yet, we are all showing
 
 
 Some signs of slowing.
 
 
 Therefore, I must pray that we do not fall,
 
 
 When the two of us hear our creator's call.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Two: On the Road
 
 
 We were about five minutes out of Johnson City on our way east towards the
 North Carolina border when Vince finally folded and told me his secret plan he
 had been boasting about for a month now.
 
 
 "We got this trashed camper down by the old house that we can strip away and
 sell as scrap metal. That should give us enough money to fix Jane and then we
 should be set at getting our own place."
 
 
 I nodded along, agreeing with his reasoning. That jeep of his definitely was
 in need of some desperate repair the last time we were together. That was
 actually the first time I ever saw him in person; he was parked at the top of
 his long driveway with headlights cutting through the darkness as we arrived
 for the first and only Shrug Life Syndicate gathering I've managed to attend.
 I remember that we arrived exactly at midnight, not a minute sooner or later,
 which made the moment highly synchronous.
 
 
 Memories that far away seem to all blur together so everything feels like it
 happened in one day, but the first Shrug Life Syndicate gathering lasted four
 days, if you include the trip down and back. My girlfriend at the time, Amy,
 and I were picked up in New York at her mother's house by another one of the
 founders of our little online community. His name was [Redacted] and he was a
 Canadian that dabbled in the cognitive sciences. Like Vince, he had been a
 huge influence on me, but sadly that friendship fell apart as [Redacted] grew
 disenfranchised with the SLS, most in particular with Vince himself, as there
 were some personal disputes about Vince's dating life and drug of choice,
 which compounded the push back of Vince wanting to turn our community into an
 educational nonprofit. I can't speak of the former as I was devoid of internet
 when the big schism happened, but I was all for doing something more with the
 talent we collectively share. I'm sure that is part of the reason Vince
 invited me to stay with him; we recognized the potential of each other to
 shape the world into a better place.
 
 
 That's not what Vince said though. As we approached the edge of Elizabethton,
 he looked over at me and spoke with the tender kindness of a man with a big
 heart.
 
 
 "I'm glad you came here, man. I just couldn't stand to let my best bud live
 another night outside. You know I've been there too, so I just want you to
 know that our home is your home from now on."
 
 
 Feeling moved, I replied, "Thanks. I don't know what to say. I'm just
 grateful."
 
 
 He put his hand on my shoulder as a brother would. We then rode in silence for
 a minute or two, which allowed me to reflect on my past behavior during the
 first gathering. Not only had I clogged the toilet and told no one, but I had
 a few emotional outbursts as I was a mess back then. That's one of the reasons
 that I believe homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to
 me. It pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to
 change for the better.
 
 
 That was great because I was impulsive and dangling precariously from the
 heights of my oversized ego. I think that was a critical part of my
 transformation. Sleeping in piss-stained, cockroach infested storefronts
 humbled me, and I realized that everybody is just trying to swim in the
 direction they feel is best. Thus, radical acceptance is a moral imperative.
 Vince taught me that. I've profited immensely in ways other than financial
 wealth by embracing such values, but I wish more people could see this truth.
 Alas, tis the blind leading the blind.
 
 
 With that in mind, as we continued onwards to our now-conjoined future, we
 passed through the back roads of Elizabethton through a route known as Gap's
 Creek, which proved to be a winding set of backroads with more churches than
 seemed reasonable. One of these cultural staples had a big electronic
 billboard out front, sharing the times of services and other announcements;
 none of which you could actually read as you drove by at the speed limit.
 Still, when we reached the intersection with highway 19E, there was a woman
 flying a sign, asking for money. Since this town seemed devoid of any
 institutions to help the poor, I rolled my window down and handed her a fiver.
 I knew what it was like being up shit creek without a paddle, so I wanted to
 alleviate some of that stress for somebody else.
 
 
 I begged a lot at the beginning of my homeless journey. I didn't know how to
 survive, as I had not been raised with many good life lessons to help me stay
 afloat on my own. That in itself is part of the reason I had a major breakdown
 in college. It was undeniably true that I was maladapted to the world. My
 experiences with Earth Nation are also indisputably built from that
 maladaptation. Yet, those years of homelessness after escaping that new age
 cult allowed me to grow into a sustainable, productive woman with my juggling,
 performance arts, and writing.
 
 
 They say you can give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but if you teach
 a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. That's part of the reason I was and
 still am a huge proponent of education in all its forms. I knew Vince felt the
 same way, but perhaps for different reasons. As a secular Buddhist and radical
 antistyle artist, he was a minority in the deep interior of the Bible Belt,
 and that came with a price while he was growing up. It might be a beautiful
 area, but neither of us would ever raise a kid here.
 
 
 It was then when it hit me. I couldn't be Victoria here. I had to be Vic.
 Which was fine, that's how the gang members in Miami Beach referred to me. I
 was able to accept being called by masculine names and pronouns. I had long
 passed through the self-loathing phase of having dysphoria, to arrive in a
 position where I openly grow my beard out to prove that I don't need to look
 any particular way to be happy. I don't care what other people think of me,
 but I haven't always been this enlightened. To put it lightly, I've been
 through some trials. And, having done so, I can say that people who judge
 other people on superficial things are the worst. But, we can rise above by
 continuing to align with our hearts.
 
 
 Less than a tenth of a mile down 19E, Vince asked me, "Hey man, can you buy
 me, like, a forty or something?"
 
 
 Of course I said yes. I knew his schizophrenia had put him out of work for
 many years, so I wanted to soothe him as he was able to soothe my pain from
 being homeless. He pulled into a gas station I would later learn is
 colloquially called Captain Jack's. It had the cheapest gas this side of
 Elizabethton, and was a reliable place to get beer or a pipe of any variety.
 
 
 With compassion in my heart, I got Vince what he wanted, while getting myself
 something as well. Still, when he cracked his beer open while accelerating to
 sixty miles an hour, I couldn't help but feel distraught at such brazen
 self-indulgence. But, all I did about it was pop open the hard iced tea I
 picked up for myself. At least passengers are allowed to drink while they are
 being driven somewhere in Tennessee, Vince tells me.
 
 
 
 
 A Home at Last
 
 
 They say home is where the heart is,
 
 
 Which is great now that I have a new one.
 
 
 The damaged needle of my crazy compass
 
 
 Spins in every direction under the sun,
 
 
 But, here it stands still, still as can be,
 
 
 So my quest is over; I am finally free!
 
 
 I have a home in the love you give
 
 
 And by reflecting that in me, we live
 
 
 In a state where conflict has come to pass;
 
 
 It is like there was a great lottery and I won.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Three: The Mountain Side
 
 
 About ten minutes later we reached the western half of Roan Mountain, where we
 were greeted by a big sign praising the annual Rhododendron Festival at the
 end of June. Having already downed half his forty, Vince spared no time in
 showing me the highlights of his home town.
 
 
 "Look under this bridge coming up. You'll see it underneath. The red and the
 gold." He pointed directly at a graffiti tag on the concrete column near the
 riverfront. There was an enigma of a symbol I've seen Vince post on the SLS
 before.
 
 
 "That your tag?" I asked the obvious question. 
 
 
 "Yup," he replied, gulping down another swallow of his forty, as there was no
 incoming traffic. "Protip: don't post your tags on Facebook if you plan to hit
 a cop car around here." I thought at first he meant literally running into
 their vehicle, but then it dawned on me what he meant. I had never done any
 real graffiti before; just some words and simple drawings in chalk that came
 right off. Never got in trouble for it, at least.
 
 
 I remember passing the post office some time shortly afterward. There was a
 park with a stage behind it. Allison would organize the summer's music events
 that went on each Saturday from May to August. Additionally, she would host
 one of her weekly jam sessions there for local musicians to play together for
 a few hours at a time, just for fun.
 
 
 There were some houses on the left, too, as we were entering the more dense
 center of Roan Mountain. Yet, Vince told me that the other side, where the
 park was, used to be full of trailers, but they got washed away during a flood
 some years ago. I later learned from Allison that most of the town, including
 her as she was out and about, had to evacuate to the elementary school where
 she provided extra clothes for those in need from her suitcase, but Vince and
 his father were fine at the top of the mountain that their property sat on.
 
 
 Puerto Nuevo, the best and only Mexican restaurant in town, whipped by soon
 after. We then passed one of the two gas stations in Roan Mountain, a
 Scotchman. There was a bank and a credit union on the left, too. An empty
 grocery store zoomed by next, which might as well be haunted for all I know.
 
 
 Next up on the left was a food truck that has since been upgraded to a small
 building with picnic tables and some cover from the sun and weather. I think
 it is a good place to eat. It also marked the spot of the Roan Mountain flea
 market, where you could see one or two people at a time selling their stuff in
 the warmer months. Then, immediately after that stood a pharmacy in an old
 farmhouse.
 
 
 There was some construction on the right, which by its future signage, I
 erroneously thought was some sort of massage parlor that sat on stilts,
 requiring everybody to walk up a story of steps just to get inside. Odd
 choice, I thought. But, on a whim one day, Vince stopped there to see if they
 sold cheap kratom, which was when I would learn that it was really a health
 food store.
 
 
 Not too far down the traffic-light free main strip of the town, we passed the
 future beer store on the right. It was convenient for Sundays, because that's
 when a local ordinance in our neighboring North Carolinian town, Elk Park,
 restricts the sale of alcohol on the sabbath, but ultimately the alcohol taxes
 in Tennessee are too high to make it a cheap endeavor.
 
 
 To contrast the beer store, the local cemetery sat across the street on a
 hill. I like graveyards, as I'm a bit of a goth at heart, but even so, the
 packed parking lot of the Redimart grocery store was what caught the bulk of
 my attention. I craned my neck to see some of the locals to uncover just what
 passed as acceptable culture here in this quaint mountain town.
 
 
 Further up, the infamous Bob's Dairyland with the slowest drive-through known
 to man stood tall with its vast history. There's a reason it's always packed
 after church lets out on Sundays. Yet, I still don't understand why their sign
 promotes pinto beans, of all things. I've been told it's a hot ticket item in
 the area, but I have still not witnessed anyone order them. But, moving on, I
 have to mention that there was also an auto part shop conjoined with an auto
 repair shop that had over a dozen cars just sitting outside it.
 
 
 Next to Bob's was the second gas station, a Valero, which also housed a
 much-frequented Subway. One of three thrift stores in town stood innocently
 next to the gas station. On the right was a steakhouse that I have never had
 the cash to justify splurging at, and a beauty salon in the same building that
 I also have never visited because I'm not one to care for looking like a doll.
 I am beautiful as I am.
 
 
 The town was really shaping up to be a unique combination of the bare bones
 mixed with an abundance of what you needed. Then we reached a stretch where
 two signs sat. The one for Cloudland Highschool triggered Vince into speaking.
 "Fucking assholes. I told you about how they illegally expelled me, right?" I
 nodded in confirmation. He continued: "Yea, they literally stole my book of
 poetry and took photocopies of it, so they could use it to kick me out,
 because I was the 'weird' kid."
 
 
 I knew that, but seeing the innocent sign next to the one for Smoky Mountain
 Bakers made the story appear more real. Here they were, these conservative
 administrators, probably constituting some of the people who attended the
 dozens of churches in town, which should teach everybody to love thy neighbor,
 but obviously they were too preoccupied by the need to hate my friend because,
 back then, he was the blue-haired son of the "hippie couple" in town, who
 happened to like bands like Marilyn Manson and Korn.
 
 
 That made me wonder how well I would fit in here. I had long since forsaken
 transitioning because I was effectively a sasquatch, but I was still a woman
 on the inside. I was sure that being transgender, combined with my eccentric
 nature and often extreme opinions on things would cement me as the new weirdo
 in town. But, if I am to be honest, that would be the case in most settings I
 could plant myself in.
 
 
 Those thoughts fluttered in my head as we sped past the electrical co-op, a
 second thrift store, Plumber's Pro Hardware, the Roan Mountain emergency
 dispatch center, and what was apparently a flooring depot before reaching the
 elementary school that sat across from the Dollar General, which Vince called
 the "SmallMart." I'm aware there's some things I missed, as there's plenty of
 buildings with no description or sign out front, but I'm sure they're
 important to somebody.
 
 
 We then started slowing down as we approached the only veterinarian's office
 for quite a ways in any direction. We turned left just before the red-roofed
 building which had a small cat statue perched on the edge looking out with its
 paw up. Vince took this as a sign to begin downing the rest of his beverage.
 
 
 "Welcome to home, Buck Mountain," Vince said as we started climbing in
 altitude. "This is the bad side of town. You'll never see a cop here unless
 something big is going down, which hasn't happened in years." He finished his
 forty in one big chug as his hands ran on autopilot. "It's good because you
 can do pretty much anything up here any time you want."
 
 
 I knew all that, as we had a blast getting drunk and smoking some green for a
 few days in a row during the first gathering. In truth, I anticipated I would
 be doing that for the next few days as well, to settle in, y'know? Hell, I
 half expected that I was in heaven now after spending so much time in the
 purgatory that is homelessness, regardless of how much fun I had in Miami
 Beach preceding Vince's invitation to come north.
 
 
 We went to the very tippy top of Buck Mountain, where the foliage is dense, no
 cell signal can reach, and the local kids ride their dirt bikes at all hours
 of the day. As we pulled in the driveway, I expected to keep going straight on
 the tire-carved path back down the mountain. But, to my surprise, I found that
 the same trailer we had partied in down the road during the gathering was now
 relocated here to become my new home. I wasn't expecting that, as when I was
 here last, they all lived in a small shack at the base of their nineteen acres
 of mountain real estate.
 
 
 It didn't look like much, with weather-worn imitation wood paneling wrapping
 the rectangular structure in a loose hug, but it was a place to rest my head
 in the comfort of loved ones. Aptly, Allison's last name meant "the home" in a
 language the CIA once tried to make me learn, which is a statement that I'm
 sure earns me a few raised eyebrows. My story has many twists and turns, but
 for now you should know my studies of strategic languages ended only when the
 cult that hooked me like an unsuspecting bass managed to gaslight, manipulate,
 and shame me to get me to work for them sixty-to-ninety hours a week on
 average. I would later try to pick the linguistic challenge back up years
 later during my time spent homeless, but my progress was like a Jenga tower
 that half collapsed. I forgot basic words, and I just feel like I have
 failed.
 
 
 That's something that should be looked at in finer detail; my feelings of
 failure, I mean. So, let's take the first of many breaks from linear
 storytelling to express how life can feel at times for me. Like a shattered
 mirror, I reflect many different parts of the past at different times. Some
 days I may live in several sections of my turbulent past all at the same time.
 Disorienting, it can feel like I don't know what's real. It takes a lot to
 break something so thoroughly, but as you'll see, I've been a punching bag for
 the devious spirit of fate. Couldn't keep me down, though, because I am like
 the phoenix; always rising no matter how badly beaten in battle I've become.
 
 
 
 
 Mommy
 
 
 Mommy is what I used to call you,
 
 
 When I was a kid so long ago.
 
 
 It's because of your love that I grew
 
 
 To always let my kindness show.
 
 
 Mommy, you were always getting sick.
 
 
 To help you out, I would try to keep clean.
 
 
 As much as I'd scrub I never got the trick,
 
 
 Because you'd still be plagued by the unseen.
 
 
 Mommy, you were supposed to grow old!
 
 
 Having you leave us like that hurt like hell.
 
 
 I'm sorry for not always doing what I was told;
 
 
 It's because I failed you that I try to do well.
 
 
 Mommy was what you called out at the end.
 
 
 I tried to help you but I wasn't good enough.
 
 
 You were dying, so on me you had to depend,
 
 
 But even being there for you was too tough.
 
 
 Mommy, if I could do it all over again I would.
 
 
 It's not fair to you that I was such a bad son.
 
 
 I'll give you all my love and more as I should;
 
 
 For you, I promise that one day I'll be the sun.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Four: Scarred from Birth
 
 
 Having let you in to a little bit of what makes me tick, it should be noted
 that feeling like an abysmal failure is a key part of my mental health. Those
 loathsome seeds of self-mutilating ruination are planted deep in my psyche.
 Prepare for a sad story, if you're the type to really feel another person's
 soul.
 
 
 See, it all started when my mom found out she had AIDS a mere two months after
 I was born. It was God's way of welcoming me to the world. I forgive the big
 woman now, for my path on this Earth has been the ultimate journey of
 awakening to my divine spirit, but before Vince and many faceless actors sent
 me on my mission of healing, I held much scorn in my heart. For a large chunk
 of my early years that I was here, alive, learning, and suffering as a human
 being, I was hell-bent on the idea of revenge. That was once a big part of my
 story, too, but no more.
 
 
 It's understandable, at least. Imagine having to witness all the manner of
 disease ravaging my mother like it did; I grew up thinking that I was born to
 be punished. My earliest delusions had me caught up in the notion that I was a
 worthless god who had the rest of the pantheon turn on them from before I even
 had a chance to prove myself. I had a whole mythos where I had been tricked to
 kill my sister, the goddess of harmony, and my punishment was to stay locked
 to this awful planet until I found her soul once again. Then, we'd go on to
 take over the world, as I had fallen under the notion that my future self was
 sending me subliminal messages through synchronicities, although I didn't know
 that word then, so I thought I just had special powers.
 
 
 This is all a natural result of magickal thinking gone awry. Such is the fate
 for those scarred in childhood as I was. My innocence flayed alive, I watched
 as the woman who loved me with all her heart died for the first nine years of
 my life. It was a slow rot. There are many memories of her being in the
 hospital or as she lingered in pain at home that flash to the front of my mind
 that could paint you a tragic picture of those unforgettable scenes I was
 forcibly cast in, but the real horror that plagues me came at the bitter end.
 
 
 For the last of her months that she was allowed to live, my mom was
 mercilessly struck by an opportunistic ear infection. It killed half of her
 face, and only progressed into a hellishly rapid descent of her cognitive
 functions until one sudden day I came home from school to find she had
 regressed to a child-like state with my grandma tending to her in tears. I
 tried losing myself in my homework, but the threat in my environment promising
 my mother's pain was all-consuming. Then it got worse.
 
 
 My father never got along with my grandma, so when he got home, he forcibly
 kicked her out. A fight broke out, resulting in my grandmother coming to my
 room to say goodbye, where she told me with eyes watering that whatever
 happens, we would get through it. My dad would come in after my grandma left
 and put her down, more concerned that she scratched him. All I could think
 about was my mom, who was now tearing up and asking about where her mom went.
 
 
 That was the worst. I can still hear clearly how she cried out for her mom
 nonstop for the whole night. That was her last night she spent at home. She
 died within a week. And my last memory of her that isn't of her in a coma is
 of her trying to escape from the hospital with a dinner plate sized bed sore
 on her backside that danced from behind an open hospital gown in order to
 imprint itself in my mind forever.
 
 
 Here come the tears. It still hits me that my fucking mom died, like I still
 can't believe it's real. My last memories are of her being naked, crying like
 a baby. I felt so helpless. But, at least she had nurses helping her when we
 got her to the emergency room. Just hours earlier, I was left on my own trying
 to calm her troubled, addled mind. My dad had been doing just that, as my mom
 would get in fits every half hour or so, where he would comfort her, then come
 into my room to vent after she quieted down. I had no one to open my fears and
 pain to. Wishing I had a sibling to hold and cry together with, I faced my
 most scarring memory alone.
 
 
 The worst wounds of my life were suffered because there was one time after
 midnight where my dad disappeared. Maybe he was smoking, but regardless, I
 couldn't find where he went as I scrambled over the whole house in my fuzzy
 purple pajamas looking for him. Meanwhile, my mother incessantly yelled for
 her own mommy. So, with much hesitancy, I succumbed to the responsibility of
 helping my afflicted parent, and I anxiously marched into her room and tried
 to comfort her the best I knew how.
 
 
 I'll save you from the daunting process of assisting my mom, but I will say
 that it wasn't enough. No matter what I tried to do, she kept screaming
 louder. I was worthless in that moment and was on the verge of a meltdown
 because I couldn't help her. It felt like I was the worst son in the world,
 all because I failed my mother as she circled the drain. Now I feel like the
 worst daughter, but it's getting easier to love myself and think that my mom
 is looking down and smiling, being proud of me.
 
 
 I have a lot to live up to. She wasn't perfect, I know that, but my mom was an
 angel for me. Yet, I can't even remember the good times I spent with her; all
 that my hippocampus hung onto were the most traumatizing of memories. A
 notable cause of this was her fierce Sicilian temper. A vision of being
 brought to tears because I dared go looking for my six-year birthday presents
 early is playing in my head at this moment. Now one is summoned of her ripping
 into me for booing someone at an assembly because I wanted to be like a
 character I saw in a cartoon. Finally, one of my earliest memories from
 preschool is trapped in my cranium; it regards me accidentally tearing a hole
 in a kid's shirt and dreading my mother finding out for the rest of the day.
 
 
 In short, I got in trouble a lot, but I know that both my parents cared about
 me growing up right. Along with all the punishments, there was a genuine
 heartfelt desire to get me and my different brain to develop into a successful
 combo of kindness and good citizenry. Still, because of how trauma inserts
 itself into one's inner reality, I really feel like my entire childhood was
 one screw up after another in regards to my mother. Although, my dad
 contributed his fair share of ruthless discipline to make me perpetually feel
 like I was always in the wrong as well.
 
 
 And I know that's all a fallible perception, because I can distinctly remember
 the look on both my parents' faces when I won first prize in our school's
 science fair; if you're curious, I did an experiment on taste and smell to
 understand what was going on with my mom and her ear infection. That standing,
 my mom's face is cemented in memory in particular, perhaps too well, actually,
 because she just had the stitches removed from her eye. Such happiness danced
 in her left eye, but next to it sat its unmoving, dead counterpart. She tried
 to joke about it being her evil eye, but that didn't stop fourth grade
 Victoria from being terrified of the harsh reality unfolding in front of her.
 
 
 I dreamed of her a lot after she passed. Always in pain, or worse, possessed
 by some demon and seeking to bring me pain. There's one nightmare in
 particular that stands out. I forget how it started, but it ended in the
 cemetery where she is buried. Well, her coffin was exhumed, and as I got
 closer, it slammed open and my mom sat up. Only it wasn't my mom. She was
 rotten like a zombie and had malevolence bursting from behind her undead eyes.
 I did the only thing I could; I ran. But, she followed and in the utmost
 haunting voice, she yelled in pursuit, "You can't escape me, Victoria! I am
 your mother and together we are bound forever." Fitting as a metaphor for how
 my grief still hasn't dissipated more than twenty years down the line.
 
 
 I'm sorry, I just miss her. Best damn mom in the world, going above and beyond
 what she needed to do to give me the best chance at success in life, despite
 being on her literal death bed for most of her last years. I don't even know
 her, not really as an adult knows someone, which in itself leads to more
 feelings of failure. She has been transmuted into an archetype of a hero in my
 eyes, and I feel that I can never be as strong as that woman who was my first
 love.
 
 
 I can try though. I always try. Part of being hyper-vigilant, I reckon.
 Perhaps that makes me strong. Perhaps it makes me a fool. Or maybe it just
 means I'm human and going to have virtues as well as flaws. It's taken me a
 long while to escape the black and white thinking that trapped me in a world
 where I either felt like the epitome of the second coming or compounded as the
 most useless, subhuman mutant on the planet. Those were truly hard times,
 being locked in the halls of my mind like a prison.
 
 
 But…the past is the past and we best not linger on it, because even now,
 years later, I felt welcomed by a second family, and for that I am eternally
 grateful. I vowed to return their love to them in spades, because that's what
 my mom always tried to teach me. Being neurodivergent, I didn't always get the
 message, but because I threw myself at the lessons life threw at me, I learned
 to cherish those people who enter my life. You never know what you have until
 you lose it. And I wasn't planning on losing Vince.
 
 
 
 
 All You Need
 
 
 Once you live on the street
 
 
 You grow on the concrete.
 
 
 Having done so myself
 
 
 I can claim that wealth
 
 
 Is just a fancy illusion.
 
 
 You say that's a delusion,
 
 
 But look how I'm happy
 
 
 With only what you see.
 
 
 I don't need a fancy bed
 
 
 In order to rest my head;
 
 
 Instead, I'm in the know
 
 
 That less is the way to go.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Five: A Real Home
 
 
 Allison greeted us at the door with a wide, warm smile, but she wasn't the
 only one to do so. Vince's greying black lab, Freya, adorned in a pretty
 lavender bandana, came up to smell this new person in her domain. She must
 have recognized my scent from years ago because she didn't bark at all,
 instead choosing to snaffle all over me while wagging her tail vigorously. Of
 course, I started petting her immediately, as I began to take in my
 surroundings.
 
 
 I could only remember seeing the interior of the trailer in the pitch
 blackness of the starry mountain night, but I remembered the general layout:
 doors to the outside in the kitchen and living room, which were separated by a
 long counter where the kitchen sink sat, and then bedrooms branching off from
 each end, both of which had a bathroom accompanying them. Yet, I did not
 recall that this space was as run-down as the exterior, with chunks of the
 linoleum floor missing and rotting wood at the rear door, not to mention a
 steady helping of cobwebs latching onto the ceiling fixtures.
 
 
 Yet, despite the condition the trailer was in, it still had a touch of love
 sprinkled throughout it. There were five paintings in the living room, one
 done by Allison herself, as well as one around the corner near her loom that
 took up half the kitchen space. More were in Allison's room to the right of
 the entrance. On the opposite side of the house by the windows sat Allison's
 battle station, where she would play solitaire and check Facebook and her
 email religiously while sitting in an old navy blue wheelchair that used to be
 for Vince's father. There was a couch and a couple tables full of stuff
 stacked on them, to include a silver urn that sat on its own table with a vase
 of local flowers. With the three of us, plus Freya and the trio of feral cats
 that tamed themselves to come in and eat, respectively named Libertas, Biggie
 Meows, and Spot, this little dwelling was a tight fit, but it was cozy in a
 way that I had not known family life to be growing up.
 
 
 In the process of greeting me, Allison asked, "What have you been up to while
 you were down in Miami Beach?"
 
 
 I didn't want to tell her everything, but I told her the truth. "I wrote a
 lot, mainly in the park on Ocean Drive, or where I slept on Lincoln Road,
 unless I was spending time in North Beach which had better food options for me
 with my limited resources. Mostly, I just tried to survive each day, putting
 distractions between me and the day-to-day struggles of being out there like
 that."
 
 
 She smiled. "Well, we're glad to have you. Vince talks about you a lot." I
 blushed a little bit at that, but I'm sure neither of them saw my rosy cheeks
 through the gnarled barb that constituted my ever-growing beard.
 
 
 Allison then moved on to practical matters. "So, where do you want to sleep?
 We have the couch, which would be where I would set up shop, but you can
 always sleep in Vince's room if you prefer."
 
 
 I looked at the couch. It seemed comfy enough, but I didn't care about
 comfort. As much as I knew Vince was doing me a solid by letting me stay here,
 I knew I was going to help him too. His posts on the SLS combined with his
 frequent messages to me were made out of desperation; he was clearly strung
 out and looking for any human contact whatsoever.
 
 
 Since his schizophrenia started interfering with his life, he had spent six
 years at the top of this mountain and he said he was going stir crazy. I would
 learn that there's little to do here but drink, do some drugs, and fiddle
 about on your computer and phone while dealing with the internet that is made
 out of sticks and stones, and that could get boring fast. Devoted to this new
 cause, I wasn't going to let my best friend suffer anymore. I was going to
 make his life better by livening up the long days by being his constant
 companion.
 
 
 As a result, I told Allison that I would find a spot in Vince's room to rest
 my head. She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded affirmingly with an eager
 grin. I had made up my mind.
 
 
 Some more hem-hawing back and forth with Allison about general questions and
 concerns followed, but when we were finished, Vince took me to his room, which
 was beyond the rolling metal desk Allison used for her computer. A busted door
 clung to its hinges, but it didn't block our way.
 
 
 Calling Vince's room a mess would be an insult to messes everywhere. He had
 said that he would clean it up prior to my arrival, but there were likely two
 hundred beer cans stacked in mountains next to his bed, or in beer-amids as he
 called them. I looked around, honestly impressed at how dedicated to creating
 a disaster zone as he was.
 
 
 Looking over the permanent staples of the room, he had a television and an
 Xbox, an empty dresser, a filthy nightstand, and a bed without any sheets. He
 also had a handful of paintings, most of which were stacked together by the
 door, but there was a trippy painting of Vince's father on the west wall above
 the dresser, as well as an expressionist painting from the sixties behind the
 television which sat on the north wall, in between the bathroom and the
 closet. There was also a picture of a moth on a skull tacked to the wall,
 which gave me the heebie jeebies.
 
 
 It was then that I saw it. A large, two-hundred fifty tablet bottle of generic
 Dollar General antihistamines, pure diphenhydramine, sat on his dresser, just
 spiting me with its presence. I almost asked right then and there for Vince to
 get rid of the damn thing. I knew if I found an opportunity to down, say,
 six-hundred milligrams of that accursed stuff, I would. Then I would do
 terrible, awful, deplorable things to myself. But shame won out. I didn't want
 to let him know of my problem. Maybe I could control myself. So I shut up and
 about-faced out of the room.
 
 
 While doing box breathing, I dropped my backpack that contained all of my
 possessions on the couch in the living room, and helped Vince grab some
 fifty-five gallon black trash bags in the kitchen. We made quick work of the
 unending hoard of Natty Daddy cans, as well as the nightstand full of
 cigarette butts. We then moved his bed so it was against the south wall.
 
 
 It hadn't taken long, but the room was looking presentable. It didn't need to
 be a five-star hotel, because I had the most important thing of all: family. I
 felt more than welcomed as a guest. I was one with these people who had so
 graciously let me into their home. We were going to all be happy together.
 That was the goal, at least.
 
 
 
 
 I Forgive You
 
 
 I forgive you, but I can never forget.
 
 
 I'm sorry if I make you look like shit,
 
 
 But your heavy hand and sharp wit
 
 
 Damaged me greatly; then you gaslit
 
 
 Me, denying everything, and I quit
 
 
 Knowing what was real. I even slit
 
 
 My flesh open so that I could get
 
 
 A sense of what I could feel. So, I sit
 
 
 Here now explaining why I wasn't fit
 
 
 To handle this world that I saw as a pit
 
 
 That I escaped only when God had lit
 
 
 A beacon of light with some magick.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Six: Growing Up With Family
 
 
 There was still one task we had to get done before I could claim a spot to be
 my bedspace. Vince had more clothes than he knew what to do with, most of
 which had spray paint spackled all over them in no particular form or pattern;
 the style of the antistyle artist. As we moved the rolling hills of clothing
 into the dresser and a heaping pile beside it, I came to understand why Vince
 called himself a diva.
 
 
 I remember having a lot of clothes just a few years prior. Even though I
 didn't care what I wore, I had earned so many free T-shirts over the years
 from track meets and other races. I had so much when I needed so little.
 That's one major reason I forgive my dad for kicking me out of his house,
 because it was the best thing for me. Not only that, but I deserved it. I was
 a wreck of a human being before I got abruptly humbled by my odyssey on the
 streets. The extended experience changed me so I am no longer as much of an
 emotionally volatile basketcase.
 
 
 To put it mildly, being an unstable problem of a person was the reason I was
 kicked out in the first place. I had always been sort of bipolar since middle
 school. But, after escaping the cult, breaking up with my girlfriend, Amy, and
 returning home a failure, my heart and mind were like a pile of fragmented
 ceramic shards mockingly showing what a real piece of pottery my mind could
 have been. Unshockingly, I was barely holding it together. I was having
 outbursts frequently, but they weren't ungodly terrible, as I was being guided
 by higher dimensional life forms through inputs on my laptop, and that gave me
 a sense of ease.
 
 
 In fact, I remember a great reprieve of my stress occurred on an acid trip in
 the first month I was back. It felt like God Herself was setting up a lesson
 for me, which started with me literally waking up to a picture of a white
 rabbit taunting me on my Facebook feed, which I followed, and in doing so, I
 received personalized inputs that unveiled the blinders from in front of my
 eyes. In but a few hours after a lifetime of denial, it all clicked with me
 that I had a warm, nurturing side that I had neglected for most of my life.
 That was the first time I accepted that I was a woman. And that's still not
 the most profound, life-altering acid trip I've had.
 
 
 Even so, I would break down crying that afternoon as I meditated under the
 tree in the backyard where I used to swing. With no more effort than it took
 to breathe, I saw all the parts of me that Amy tried to teach me about, but I
 was unable to comprehend in my denial. Likewise, the waterworks were called
 upon that night as I told my dad about my revelation, and he said he would
 always love me no matter what. That was the most affectionate heart to heart
 with him I think I've ever had, even if he did ramble about random things
 being at a loss of what to say to me, as we had functionally lived in two
 separate worlds inside the same house for years.
 
 
 This sentiment would flip on its head though, as I blogged about my gender
 revelations and my dad found them and read I had taken a narcotic in his
 house. Naturally, he was pissed and wouldn't hear that the tender moment we
 shared that night was only possible because I had taken the sacrament. This
 would prove to be the kicking off point to some logarithmic growth in tensions
 between the two of us.
 
 
 Then, on that fateful day, one of the countless pets my dad kept, a black,
 stubborn minipig named Harley, had made a literal pigsty of the house after I
 had a bad session at my therapist's, who made me feel like a piece of shit. I
 wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going to just lay down and get called a terrible
 person because of how I behaved in treatment years ago, when I was still very
 lost. It triggered my feelings of failure, which rippled into waves of
 unstable emotional dysregulation. In my explosive rage, I broke the microwave
 and put a basketball-sized hole in the wall behind my makeshift bed in the
 attic that I was allotted after they gave my brother my room when I was in the
 cult.
 
 
 Well, my father came home after a long day at work, saw the microwave, and had
 enough of me. He came thumping up the stairs, livid, ready to rip me to shreds
 verbally, when he saw the hole I had made. Beside himself, he demanded I get
 out right then and there. I broke down crying and begged him to let me stay,
 grappling with his leg as a wounded bear might wrap itself around the base of
 a small tree looking for any shelter it can find in a storm.
 
 
 That just made him madder. He kicked me off, and accused me of a thousand
 things. The ones that stuck were that I was just like my mother and that I was
 beyond anyone's help. As it happened in a heated flash, I don't remember
 exactly how the exchange was put together, but it ended with me asking him how
 all the hand-crafted trinkets and doodads my mother made for me before she
 died had gotten destroyed and thrown away. What he said next drove me mad.
 
 
 "I'm still pissed that you made me do that."
 
 
 I'll illuminate you with the scenario in question. I was eleven, and my
 stepmom at the time was away at a darts tournament. I think my dad somehow got
 the idea that she was doing drugs and cheating on him. I don't know, I was
 eleven. I just remember some of the things he said over the phone, and then
 what was said when they divorced when I was a couple of years later.
 
 
 Over my stepmom's absence, he got continuously more pissy, like he did the
 year before when the sewage line broke and he snapped while cleaning it up,
 smashing my head into the kitchen floor several times,  relenting only when
 his girlfriend at the time called to hang out. Now seeing the same pattern in
 my father, I was on edge, especially after I put my feet up on the new couch
 and he grabbed my leg and punched me in the tibia as hard as he could. I kept
 trying to do everything right to avoid being attacked again, but alas, in my
 anxious worry, I forgot to take out the kitchen garbage on trash night.
 
 
 That triggered a whole day of what might not be considered torture, but
 certainly was child abuse, which started as he cleared the shelves of all my
 memories in a violent, thrashing rage. He would bag up the shattered remains
 so he could take them to the dump, but only after he laid his hands on me.
 
 
 My head was used as a battering ram against my door, which my dad would later
 deny was where the big dents came from in a bout of the worst gaslighting I
 experienced before the cult got their hands on me. Regardless, when he
 finished and slammed me back on the wood floor, I instinctively reached out
 and grabbed his wrist. He growled, "Don't resist or I'll make it worse."
 
 
 Feeling my spirit collapse, I helplessly accepted the next phase of punishment
 that then ensued. Mostly, it consisted of him using my head to pound the
 knowledge that I fucked up into my brain, with much hair pulling and getting
 tossed to new locations, once being told to lay there like a dog in the wet
 remnants of a broken snow globe while he went for a smoke break. Thankfully,
 or maybe not, depending on your perspective, he never struck me. He was too
 smart to leave bruises.
 
 
 After much of that series of traumatizing instances, he had me sit still and
 think of an apology for him for hours on end. While I was busy doing that, he
 would then have an epiphany, telling me that I should stand, as I didn't
 deserve to sit. I didn't care about such details at the time. I was in shock,
 petrified that he would go ahead and find the homework I failed to finish or
 the porn I had taken from my stepmom. Fearing unimaginable doom, I stared
 unwaveringly at the letter "E" on the spine of a book on my bookshelf. Never
 relenting in his anger, he would come by every hour or so and ask for an
 apology. Everything I said wasn't good enough, and each attempt earned me
 scathing criticism, but I kept trying to perfect my apology. I still remember
 the gist of it.
 
 
 "I sorry dad, I deserve everything. I'm sorry I caused you grief and failed to
 do my duty of taking out the trash. I won't ever forget again. I haven't been
 putting my best effort forward, but I realize that I need to do that to be a
 good son. You do so much for me. It's only fair that I pay it back to the best
 of my ability. That's what I had to do for mom when I chose to play video
 games while she was dying. I wasn't thinking about other people then, and I
 wasn't now. I'm so, so sorry. I promise to be better, because I need to be if
 I'm messing up this much."
 
 
 For reference, my dad holding the fact I escaped into the worlds of my video
 games after being told to spend time with my mom near the end was something
 he'd bring up and hold over my head anytime I was in trouble. Yet another big
 reason that feeling like a failure is cemented in my head. It made me feel
 awful, absolutely atrocious about being a bad son that I would often
 contemplate suicide. I almost jumped off a waterside when my dad and I went to
 Disney World when I was ten, but ultimately I'm glad I talked my way out of
 jamming a knife into the back of my neck. I had thought that the muscle
 allowing me to nod my head was really my brainstem. That would have been
 painful.
 
 
 Back on this day of doom, I was too numb to think of killing myself. I was
 simply a raft on a river floating downstream where the current may carry me. I
 simply stood there for hours, too terrified to even stretch my tiring legs. My
 mind was fuzzy, and all it could do was focus on making that apology better.
 
 
 After many attempts and razor sharp lectures later, which was maybe ten hours
 worth of events, he starts yelling at me that I'm just as irresponsible as my
 mom, just like he would do when he kicked me out. This time was unimaginably
 worse though. This was actually how I first found out that my mom had AIDS; I
 was told it was cancer up until this point. His shaved bald head was as red as
 a cherry tomato while he barked at me, telling me that I would die like her.
 That hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt like the definition of a shit stain, in a
 number of different ways.
 
 
 But soon, my attention became focused on my vision. I couldn't see straight,
 and not long after my dad's roaring visage disappeared in a sea of amorphic
 grey figments, I apparently passed out, to wake up on the couch with a bag of
 frozen peas on my head and my dad worried. He asked me if I remembered what
 happened. I shook my head. I was allowed to go to bed after that. It wasn't
 over because I failed to kiss my dad good night, but at least that only
 resulted in him jamming the teeth of the comb into my scalp as he combed my
 hair for some reason.
 
 
 The next morning he was completely changed. He was remorseful upon seeing me
 and wrapped me in a big hug. Yet, he seemed scared, like he realized he went
 too far. I thought about telling my teacher or counselor about it the next day
 of school, but something in me told me not to. It's the same thing that's
 making me hesitant to write this chapter at all. It's love, but this hell I
 went through is also a part of my story. This is the worst incident I've
 experienced with my father, but it's not the only one.
 
 
 It's all cause and effect really. You abuse a traumatized child in the wake of
 their mother's death, and is it any wonder that they fall apart later in life?
 I'll go on record saying I was never a bad person, just broken, impulsive, and
 hopelessly conformed to the whims of my faulty biology. I had bugs in my
 operating system, but I'm eternally grateful for all the help I had while on
 my spiritual awakening, which you might call a psychotic break that spanned
 years, but I knew it better as specialized CIA training.
 
 
 
 
 The Good Magician
 
 
 Just what do you consider magick?
 
 
 Is it not that which bends the fabric
 
 
 Of what we colloquially call reality?
 
 
 Who cares what it is your eyes see
 
 
 When in your heart you can feel
 
 
 The warmth of love; that's the real
 
 
 Power of a magician who is great
 
 
 Enough to save you from your fate.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Seven: Magickal Companions
 
 
 Back in Vince's room, I was silently wondering what shenanigans were in store
 for us now that we were a unified team. I knew Vince had many secrets of the
 universe locked away in his balding cranium, and we would have a blast letting
 the CIA manifest a joint mission we took on together. As I said, he was my
 handler, after all.
 
 
 So, when the room was cleared, and I had a space all to myself in the corner
 by the closet, I was more than happy. Both Vince and Allison insisted on
 getting me a bedroll, but I had all I needed and more right there in my
 friend. Besides, his room was carpeted and quite comfy already, at least to my
 standards that had been shaped by becoming accustomed and content with
 concrete underneath me. I didn't need anything fancy like that.
 
 
 That didn't mean I wasn't going to try and liven the place up a little bit. As
 soon as we determined we were finished picking up, I opened my backpack and
 took out my most prized possession, a pink penguin plushie named Peppermint,
 and placed her behind my pillow so I could see her everyday. She always
 watched out for me while we lived in cities across the country. She made a
 comfy pillow, and allieved a lot of stress, making me feel like I had a close
 friend with me every step of the way.
 
 
 How I got Peppermint is a bit of a story, but I'll keep it as short as it
 needs to be. See, if I were to explain to you the medically accepted reason
 for my type of schizoaffective disorder,  my brain is wired to pick out
 strange coincidences and give meaning to them. Synchronicities they're called.
 They feel like glitches in the matrix that spark the feeling of being in
 constant communication with some higher power. Because of how real they are, I
 can't accept the medical explanation. I've experienced things that are too
 weird, too perfect and clearly orchestrated, that there has to be some sort of
 conspiracy.
 
 
 As a result, I've lived most of my adult life being guided by what the
 rational part of my mind has to assume is the CIA acting as the hand of God
 leading me on a cosmic mission by sending me burning bushes to make sense of.
 I know some of that has been pure random white noise my defected brain picked
 up, but I have to give credit where credit is due: Vince did a superb job
 intentionally using the quirks of my brain to program me, much as the cult did
 to me four years prior, but with a much gentler hand and benevolent intention.
 
 
 I know what all that sounds like, but hear me out. There are too many peculiar
 instances of chance for you to listen to everything I have to say and not
 believe me, at least just a little bit; enough to make you wonder, I hope.
 Let's take the case of finding Peppermint as an example. This story starts
 when Vince convinced me to go to a specific thrift store, while I was
 initially homeless in my hometown of Syracuse. I eagerly did so, lost in a
 slew of synchronicities that convinced me that this was my latest mission.
 
 
 Well, it turned out that such a store didn't exist but it was where I got a
 ten dollar donation from a man who saw me pick up trash, as was part of my
 spiritual work while homeless. We talked and the man sent me to another store,
 saying that I should use my extra cash to buy what I needed most. After
 following his directions up Genesee Street, I got a message from Vince telling
 me to look for something out of place; that I was unique and should have
 unique things.
 
 
 I thought I might find some rad tie-dye outfit or something of that ilk, but
 while aimlessly searching the aisles of women's clothing, I found a stuffed
 dog. It looked lonely, so I picked it up and brought it to the back of the
 store, where it looked like the other toys were. I gasped as I pushed through
 the row of belts that stood in my way. Clearly, someone had built a little
 shrine of stuffed animals around Peppermint!
 
 
 I knew then that was why I was sent there. Penguins have a special place in my
 heart. My mom used to make them out of clay, and an old friend has a healthy
 fascination with creating a penguin-themed show for kiddos. It was just too
 perfect. Peppermint and I were meant to be, just as Vince and I were. Sitting
 down in my bedspace, I looked up at the spook who was my best friend as he
 cracked open another Natty Daddy. He poured it into an old Subway cup that he
 mixed his kratom with, and looked over at me.
 
 
 His face lit up upon seeing Peppermint. "Awww, you still have your penguin!
 That's so cute."
 
 
 I'm glad he thought so. I've had plenty of people think I was weird because I
 carried it around, which kinda was what I wanted to achieve when I was still
 homeless in Syracuse. I felt the CIA wanted me to become famous, for reasons
 that will become apparent as I tell you my story, so I was doing as many
 insane things as I could so I would be cemented in the memory of the people of
 my hometown.
 
 
 This meant I carried around Peppermint either under my arm or in a cute purse
 I eventually got at a different thrift store up at the university. People
 notice when you're out wandering the streets with a stuffed animal everyday.
 And they especially notice when you talk nonstop to it at all hours of the
 day. I'll say this: if you have a fear of speaking in public, then acting like
 a crazy person talking to yourself for a few months will set you straight.
 Exposure therapy, for the win.
 
 
 I did a lot of other stunts too, all of which were instructed by the CIA, like
 when gang stalkers told me I should lose my shit and yell like mad every time
 I was in frame of a news camera, of which there's a regular frequency of
 around downtown Syracuse. I did so once in front of a hospital where I would
 later find out that they were covering the aftermath of a deadly fire, and for
 the next week the news outlet would send someone to the exact same spot on my
 route. I sensed shenanigans, so I opted to walk around the camera while the
 reporter stood there uneasily because I suspect that she was tasked to find
 out if I was really crazy. But, you can tell I am just by that last sentence.
 
 
 Then there's my performance art I did on Marshall Street. This started as a
 juggling act, but soon evolved into asking random people strange questions.
 This accelerated fairly rapidly. Letting you know from experience, don't start
 going up to strangers and ask them what their opinion of ethical incest is
 unless you want the cops called on you. Talked my way out of that, but I would
 get banned from the campus of Syracuse University for three years after I
 followed the instructions I was receiving from the CIA to a tee, which
 resulted in me having a very heated argument with an invisible entity in the
 SU library. As you can guess, people tended to avoid me, but that was alright.
 I had Peppermint with me and Vince was only a message away.
 
 
 Now he was mere feet from me. I rejoiced at the fortune I was granted. We were
 going to be great together; the first afternoon together seemed to naturally
 flow from one joyous moment to the next. I looked at Peppermint. She was
 smiling, and so was I. I then looked up at Vince. His smile made me feel warm
 and fuzzy inside. But, why, you might be asking? Where do these feelings I
 harbored for Vince come from? It's a long story, but by the time I'm done,
 you'll know how important Vince is to me and how big of an impact he had on my
 life.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #96 fediverse/5884 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
║ the peril of germany that cost the jews their place in that particular           │
║ homeland was caused by some guys in a palace discussing blood economics, or as   │
║ the kids call it "war and it's reparations"                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ alternatively, the peril perhaps was enabled by the lack of collective           │
║ resistance by the people who trusted their most radical to be their most         │
║ powerful, not just the most impactful. Unfortunately, liberty dies alone,        │
║ having sacrificed herself first.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ Not ideal. we can do better. we can do better, which is why I'm still here.      │
║ I'm sure you feel just the same.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ where else is there to go? survival guilt kills enough, no need to survive       │
║ those who'd fight for you.                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ "ugh why are our most radical calling for change? can't they just be satisfied   │
║ with how it was before, back when the bad guys had to fight for control          │
║ instead of already having it?"                                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ I think I'd prefer if we defeated them once and for all. Can't empower evil if   │
║ you abolish power, after all, and suddenly KABLAM goes national narratives.      │
║ Goodbye borders, equality.                                                       │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═══───────┘

--- #97 fediverse/1014 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics         │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-744 @user-246 
 
 it's exhausting, but what are we supposed to do? Lie down and rot? That's
 incel thinking. I'm not going to do that.
 
 They've already placed the last straw. It's only a matter of time now, the
 tide has shifted. You can't prepare for everything, and it's not a good idea
 to waste yourself in self-conflageration, but they are increasingly forcing us
 to orient our lives around them.
 
 They deserve what's coming.
 
 The oppressed are not the defeated.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #98 fediverse/3053 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 when designing systems, give people the opportunity to be shitty in a
 controlled way. In a way that doesn't hurt people, but still lets them get
 their feelings out there.
 
 like, free fireworks for arsonists if they use them in the middle of the
 desert. Or a punching bag for people with rage issues, complete with a little
 vinyl pocket to store a picture of someone they're frustrated with.
 
 If people go out of their way to hurt people otherwise, then they are bad
 people and should have their power removed from them and supplied with love,
 affection, and therapy until they get better. And if they don't... well,
 prison I guess, until they reconsider.
 
 And by prison I of course mean something that respects their human dignity and
 gives them opportunities to grow and change - all it removes is their freedom,
 so... "attention everyone, it's now mandatory finger-painting hour, report the
 art room or else you'll get electric shocks in your shock collar" that kind of
 thing.
 
 If you want freedom, you must deserve it
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #99 messages/519 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
 corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
 institution that commands great respect.
 
 However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
 fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
 best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
 and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
 proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
 
 I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
 Capitalism compels it.
 
 Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
 writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
 
 I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
 
 I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
 
 I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
 
 When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
 life is not impactful. I am not special.
 
 Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
 if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
 for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
 
 But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
 
 Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
 deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
 world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
 to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
 the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
 
 ... I can do better than profane.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #100 notes/scientists-final-warning ---
════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────
 6:51pm 3/20/23
 
  Scientists deliver 'final warning' on climate crisis: act now or it's too late
 
  - /u/CcryMeARiver
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
    /u/Splenda:
       A final warning to "limit global temperature rises to 1.5C above pre-
       -industrial levels".
 
       Not a final warning that civilization will end. Just that costs in lives,
       health, prosperity and ecological wellbeing will be extremely high.
 
       We're on a credit spree and a cocaine/fentanyl binge wrapped into one.
       Consequences dead ahead.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/CcryMeARiver [OP]
       Crashout and cashout imminent.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Dr_seven
       What does the last 20 years of a lot of developed nations government
       look
       like? Skyrocketing inequality doesn't just happen, its a very intentional
       choice that has to be implemented by government.
 
       The people with power and resources have been cashing out as much as 
       possible for a while now, just not literally. They've been retrenching
       and
       hoarding as much of what exists now to themselves because the future is
       one of inevitable declines across the board, drastic and lethal ones. 
       Having more control and power now means at least the potential of having
       a
       preferential position down the road.
 
       The only question is if common folk will intervene or if we will let them
       walk away with what's left while we bicker at immigrants or neighbors
       over
       the crumbs that remain. So far it seems the mission of redirecting anger 
       towards ourselves has worked flawlessly, unfortunately.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/tangerinesubmerine
       Sadly, divide and conquer works. I've been saying what you're saying now 
       for years. Something about us must change on the individual level before 
       we can see this kind of change.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Anticode
       >>  "Something about us must change before we see change."
 
       I accidentally wrote a fourteen page long rant essay on the issue a 
       handful of months ago, describing how our issues are the result of 
       evolution-level cognitive biases and other "normal" facets of humanity
       being valued as things that "make us human" when in fact they're the 
       things that make us primates.
       
       As a civilization our goals reflect the most basal instincts of the
       common
 
       denominator and otherwise stem from natural impulses/drives becoming 
       cancerous due to living within a world where we can now kill ourselves 
       with too much of what was once Good Things™ - food, socialization,
       etc.
       Quite like how someone once wrote, "If we found a monkey that wanted to 
       horde more bananas than it could eat in several lifetimes we'd study it
       to
       figure out wtf is wrongwith it. When people do that we put them on the
       cover of Forbes."
       
       But this goes far beyond just "hoarding resources". It's deeper than
       that,
       less easily recognizable; intrinsic.
       
       Concurrently, we starve ourselves of the sort of things that living
       within
       the bounds of our evolutionary backdrop would've supplied intrinsically.
       Our world more closely resembles the kind of enclosure we'd build for a 
       limp-finned cetacean than even a lowly hamster. How much of our
       now-common
       qualms are the human version of a drooping dorsal fin? There's so much 
       anxiety, depression, emptiness, anger in the world and rising. As a 
       society we gravitate towards man-made aid for those man-made pains. We 
       find that those intrinsic maladies are apparently incurable until they're
       mysteriously resolved by a long camping trip or unplanned inclusion in a 
       new group of close-knit friends, a work-life balance, a garden to call 
       your own; the addition of meat hung from a rope to stimulate a captured 
       tiger or bear.
       
       The general dynamic is what I believe is the most significant Great
       Filter
       any intelligent civilization has to overcome.
       
       The attributes that allow an organism to dominate their planet are the 
       same attributes that lead them to extinguish themselves. There's no way
       to
       pivot, like climbing up a mountain and only at the top realizing that 
       there's a much higher peak in the distance. To get to the superior 
       mountain you'd have to begin a long slog downhill, giving up everything 
       that got you to that first height.
       
       The sort of civilization that'd successfully get to that higher peak is
       not one that'd get to the top of the first overlook which revealed the 
       existence of the second in the first place.
       
       It's not impossible to fix, just like there’s not any technical reason
       why
       pigs couldn’t evolve to fly -- Bones could become hollow, calorie-
       -retention strategies could alter, metabolic requirements could shift,
       on
       and on… The result is a flying pig that doesn’t resemble a pig,
       doesn’t
       function like a pig, and is now incapable of the majority of pig-like 
       survival strategies.
       
       But as I closed that massive essay-rant with:
       
    >>     Unfortunately… Humanity has a bit of a known problem with
    spontaneous
    >>     and arbitrary acts of genocide ranging from “a bit of
    harmless
    >>     lynching” to “eliminating the entirety of the Holocene-era
    human
    >>     population per year for a couple of years in a row by
    intentionally
    >>     leveraging a fraction of an entire region’s
    post-industrialization
    >>     technological capabilities towards the problem”, so I
    don’t suspect
    >>     that there’s much hope of any evolutionarily-viable
    pre-post-humans
    >>     making it anywhere close to the finish line on accident.
       
    >>     Many of those historic victims were, and remain, colloquially
    and
    >>     scientifically indistinguishable from their butchers. Someone
    even
    >>     just a bit fundamentally different wouldn't stand a chance.
       
       Edit: I digress.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #101 messages/620 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
 audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
 still need swords.
 
 I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
 the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
 
 Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
 foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
 lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
 
 I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
 Judge me as you will.
 
 Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
 We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
 doing so.
 
 He would deprive us of our light, and frankly he already has.
 
 He would deprive us of our liberty, and his plans to do so are clear and
 apparent.
 
 He would deprive us of our lives, and history has shown that this is a
 precedent.
 
 I do not consent to a Trump presidency. I do not consent to his corruption any
 longer. No more will I or my people be governed by such evil. We will fight
 back, of this I am certain.
 
 My demands are threefold.
 
 First, I demand that Trump be replaced by a moderate republican. Hold a
 primary and let Democrats vote. If none of your candidates work for us, pick a
 new roster and try again.
 
 The second is that Trump must be executed for treasonous high crimes. Nothing
 less than execution will suffice.
 
 Next, let the supreme court be purged and replaced. Half with democrats, half
 republicans, and one moderate who is widely regarded with respect.
 
 Failing these demands, I am willing to wage a terrible civil war for the soul
 of our country. I know this is treason, but I do it anyway even though I am a
 patriot. I do it because our land has been stolen by a man and his followers
 who seek to plunge my people into despair.
 
 He is but one man. So am I.
 
 He has an army of followers. I do not.
 
 Each of the wars we fight will be smaller than the last, as each of our cities
 struggles toward our last gasp.
 
 But together we are strong, and by connecting them we might deliver ourselves
 from harm.
 
 Against the far right, we must secure a cleansing blow. There is no greater
 fight. The world is watching.
 
 To that end, I suggest a great and perilous fight. I see no other option in
 this remarkable century. Prepare as you might, I suggest pushups and resource
 acquisition.
 
 Deliver your resources somewhere safe if you're in a red area, and meet your
 neighbors if you're not.
 
 A blue city in a red state must survive a siege. Prepare yourself for this.
 Assume that supplies will need to be delivered by convoy if by land, and drone
 airdrop from the skies. Develop ways to protect these supply methods.
 
 Public spaces are our homes now, our houses are just where we sleep.
 
 I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
 justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
 will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
 a brighter tomorrow.
 
 I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
 doing than daring.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #102 fediverse/1296 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: violence-politics-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-928 @user-929 @user-930 
 
 I dunno, from my perspective it's less about whether or not they're
 "unwitting" specifically and more like "lesser of two evils" - many of the
 republican people I knew in the past who were my age were utterly and
 absolutely convinced that if we didn't defend our homeland, somebody would
 come and kill us for it.
 
 It didn't really matter who that other was, they were convinced that someone
 would do it. So they supported the military and opposed loosening restrictions
 on immigration (instead preferring tighter restrictions, but more quantity. As
 in, "let in more people but only if we KNOW they're cool")
 
 I can't help but wonder if people join the military for the same reasons. Like
 standing atop the wall that divides "us" from "them", they put their backs to
 those they love and trust and face out toward whatever may come.
 
 The military is a very diverse place. I know a lot of other people do it just
 because it seems like a good, honest job.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #103 fediverse/4110 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: government-corporations-capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you have a job, your life is dictated by your corporation just as much as
 it is by your government.
 
 And yet corporate leaders are not elected, but rather selected. And that is
 unfair for all the reasons that primogeniture was. It is unjust for all the
 same reasons that monarchy was. It is a tool of oppression, just like
 autocracy is.
 
 The world will never be free until we can be as we choose to be. Our society
 is simply too enmeshed with capitalism to destroy it, but we could, with the
 minimal required effort, dismantle the corruption and authoritarian control
 that is wielded against us as we weld our own chains day after day.
 
 We can replace them. We can vote for them. We can select leaders who know more
 than us and are better suited for the role than those who seek only to
 maximize profit over all else.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #104 messages/295 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────
 The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
 governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
 
 Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
 being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
 deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
 ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
 ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
 bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
 production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
 fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
 Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
 means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
 be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
 and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
 since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
 created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
 falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
 
 All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
 your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
 transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
 affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
 they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
 communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
 Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
 economy?
 
 Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
 never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
 only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
 implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
 mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
 extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
 grows by that little bit.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────┘

--- #105 fediverse/1200 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ @user-883                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
║ centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #106 fediverse/5855 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
║ └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ this man who was slain - charlie kirk - he has followers. those followers will   │
║ have to go somewhere. this event will focus the right, and force their           │
║ contradictions into conflict. some good will come of it, some bad.               │
║                                                                                  │
║ the right in America is bottom-heavy. they have more followers than leaders.     │
║                                                                                  │
║ the left in America is top-heavy. we have more leaders than followers.           │
║                                                                                  │
║ tit-for-tat may create a feedback loop, one which will create tragedy on both    │
║ sides, but one which we will outlast. But again, focusing our foes, and when     │
║ the loop expires they will be focused while we will remain disorganized. there   │
║ are many more of us than them, but they do what they're told. we, don't know     │
║ who to listen to, and rely on the "wisdom" of the masses                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ war is a game of sacrificial suffering. This is a "cold civil war" or so I've    │
║ heard, and who are we to sacrifice next? the losses are uncountable - not        │
║ because they are innumerable, but because we cannot count them. it's             │
║ impossible.                                                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ interesting to see what lies ahead.                                              │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══────────┘

--- #107 messages/499 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 Nazis could never claim America because the European Jews were very
 isolationist. They lived in their towns and lived blessed lives but knew only
 each other, as was typical in pre-industrial times.
 
 In America, nazis would have to fight the queers, the blacks, the mexicans,
 the liberals, and many more besides. Each of them would fight their own
 battles but god is on the side of the plurality of humanity, not the
 genociders who seek to prune the trees of the garden of Earth to suit their
 own shallow fancies.
 
 Though god is a bloodthirsty kind at times, only with righteous anger does he
 proclaim that souls must be reaped. Such a time is rare, and comes about when,
 for example, an entire people is slain in Europe in the mid 1900s. justice
 will be done, though the heavens weep...
 
 There are better and brighter days before us, and there is room for all,
 should they not fall on our swords and perish. The far right is a death cult,
 and they intend to take all down with it. We cannot allow that, they shall not
 prevail. This has been forseen, this is why we convene, and together our
 perils will unveil.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #108 fediverse/6276 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #109 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘

--- #110 fediverse/4902 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can       │
║ figure out how to fix it                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what     │
║ are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich      │
║ here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do   │
║ you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the      │
║ butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with     │
║ your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]"                                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once.                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and            │
║ recording everything I do"                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical      │
║ figure TM]                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find."                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is       │
║ basically one sensory organ.                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ like, an ear, except with movable teeth                                          │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘

--- #111 notes/revolution ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────
 the only way revolution can work is if the poor have more power than the rich
 
 power is only, and solely, the control of violence
 
 we are what we make, and what we do is forever a struggle
 
 else-whise we'd grow bored from our unassailable perfection
 
 waiting for judgement day...
 
 any day now...
           t...
 
 don't cross the line and you're 
                 fine
 
 dream, america dream. I gave-ing her sleep, from a wiserly dawn.
 scream, america scream, believe what you see from heroes and conseSTACK
 OVERFLOW
 
 I won't have internet until tuesday.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┘

--- #112 fediverse/485 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 (picture)
 
 are you fucking kidding me
 
 make it 10,000
 
 make it a hundred thousand
 
 are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
 little machines?
 
 [ummmm hang on]
 
 yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
 bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
 do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
 
 
 
 You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
 into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
 for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
 tantamount to-
 
 (yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
 
 wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #113 notes/dear-cops ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 dear cops
 
 can we just like, opt out of your protection?
 
 like, we as a community can care for our own. Once we've gotten to know one 
 another there's... really not that much crime. It honestly feels like an issue
 that's been solved for a while? Eh well we'll figure it out one day.
 
 but, I do however, think we need paladins.
 
 do you see the difference? between a shining stalwart beacon of justice, to the
 well, I guess you could think of them as... bandits who don't steal? it's a
 question of temperament, like how you engage with the world. Some people are
 just doing their jobs, and some are very sarcastic. I don't know I have known
 like, two cops my entire life. I'm sure there's a lot more personality types.
 
 but paladin is one of them.
 
 I feel like... they should be the ones we trust with our arms?
 
 and yes I understand that everything is corruptible,
 
 and that fiction and literature has shown us time and again the path evil could
 stalk
 
 but in these dear pages there are kernels of truth - meanings and wisdoms for
 the future. And each of these musings are precious, like kindling. Fuel for the
 light of life's spirit. That which keeps us moving forward and alive, it's
 necessary for us to live as we've designed. Or rather, in some shining new way.
 
 we can define the narratives of our nation, our country, our home
 
 we can define the ways in which people interact with one another, defined in
 one
 massive tome.
 
 these laws that define are important to adjust, we as humans must find our own
 ways to be most comfortable.
 
 there's one path to the present, and that's to learn to live with our hope.
 
 have you ever played Stellaris?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I love cops, just saying. I don't like the power they hold, but that power is
 put in their hand by the government and the people who run it. Who runs your
 government? Do you talk to them? Are you friends? If your lives are
 exceptionally different, you might misunderstand the perspectives of reality.
 
 ... meaning the political climate. the two different ways people see things.
 
 (much more than two different angles to view the same problem, but yeah. some
  people specialize, some people are more robust, it just depends. but like,
  who cares right? we're all friends and together and on the same side.
 
 that of humanity, of course.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #114 fediverse/2681 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
║ │ CW: uspol-history-mentioned │                                                  │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ the american revolution was literally just... rich people trying to avoid        │
║ paying taxes                                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ and the poor people went along because, like... yeah inflation's really been     │
║ fucking with their budgets                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ so in the end it made most households wealthier...                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ (built upon the backs of slaves, mind you)                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... but as time went on the rich wanted to pay less and less.                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ they had their opportunity with the World Wars, and after the first (when        │
║ America, previously a mid-tier country at best, suddenly industrialized) they    │
║ realized "oh hey war profiteering is pretty profitable"...                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ (something that was known quite well to the British)                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... and then the Rockefellers and such, whose descendants never lost money but   │
║ nobody knows their names, did it again in WW2 and the Cold War and.              │
║                                                                                  │
║ anyway                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ the entire country is a game of numbers and spreadsheets in the ivory towers     │
║ (literally, towers with nothing but opulence) and it always has been.            │
║                                                                                  │
║ fools like me believe in the mythology. fools, but propaganda appeals to truth.  │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #115 messages/643 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I'm not here to convince you. If you're reading this, odds are we already
 agree.
 
 I'm here to give you memetic weapons to use when convincing *liberals* to wake
 the fuck up and check the time.
 
 Don't fucking talk to conservatives anymore. Unless you got a thing going and
 you're close to deradicalizing / converting them already. It's not worth it
 anymore, and I fear for their souls, but we need to focus on building a
 bedrock of support rather than wasting compassion on our enemies-to-be.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #116 fediverse_boost/4461 ---
◀─╔════════════════════════[BOOST]══════════════════════════─────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ It turns out a lot of Democratic voters kinda hate George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Liz Cheney, actually? They're leery of cops. There was that whole BLM thing? They're alarmed by the idea of having the most deadly military on Earth. What is it for? Oh, and Israel? We're going to back Israel to the hilt even as it exterminates children. Nobody signed up for that. Who thought that was a good idea? │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ A bunch of white people in expensive suits, probably. The same ones celebrating "the Biden Boom." │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────╣
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────╝─▶

--- #117 fediverse/6055 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘

--- #118 fediverse/4357 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
 a particular diversion makes each four years.
 
 divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
 
 hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
 also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
 
 like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
 north-south.
 
 ... okay I should probably talk about the election now
 
 I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
 order.
 
 like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
 stranger and try to calm things down.
 
 this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
 concerned about production because, well, why would I?
 
 tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
 
 yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
 regime.
 
 [continued in picture]

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #119 messages/273 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 Algorism in a nutshell:
 
 Everyone gets dollars from their job. Will explain more later, for now trust
 that they get dollars. Essentials and infrastructure are free, but luxuries
 are not.
 
 To spend dollars, you either go to a showroom or use the nationalized Amazon
 (forked, not stolen) - there you can place down dollars to enter a special
 kind of queue. Everytime a product is made its distributed to the people with
 the most dollars in queue. Every period (week, month, idk) the amount you
 manually put into the queue is re-added to the queue - 100 becomes 200,
 becomes 300, becomes 400. You can manually add more whenever you like but it's
 not retroactive. At the end of the period all your extra dollars are
 distributed among your open queues.
 
 That's basically it. It rewards patience and temperance, while capitalism
 rewards greed and cruelty.
 
 How to get dollars? Okay so there is a government run job board portal website
 thing. Every company can make a listing there, and every person can post
 themselves too if they'd rather be recruited. The company pays a different
 amount to the government than the worker receives. This amount is determined
 algorithmically based on values like supply and demand for labor in that
 particular area.
 
 People list 10 types of jobs they'd like to work at any level of specificity
 (they'd be arranged into layers of overlapping umbrellas, like queer
 identities except more complex) then that data is used both for job placement
 (consensual of course!) and data for the "supply and demand" calculation. You
 can only change these values once every 6 months, or 1 value every month, up
 to the user.
 
 The amount the corporation pays to the government is not the same as what the
 worker receives. The longer a worker works, the more "stuff" they can buy.
 They are rewarded for diligence. However essentials are free so nobody has to
 save for retirement.
 
 You can trade stuff for stuff, but not stuff for labor. Small informal
 exchanges are fine "if you mow my lawn I'll bake you a pie" but not "I'll give
 you 500lbs of gold bars if you build me a mansion" - I haven't figured out a
 way to structurally prevent rant besides just saying it's illegal.
 
 Housing is like a library, except you can queue for who gets the spot next. A
 person can live in a house as long as they'd like, and when they're done with
 it the person highest in the queue can decide if they want to live there. If
 not, the 2nd in line gets to move in if they want, etc. Their accrued value
 persists if they don't move in, and when moving out an accurate assessment
 should be undertaken.
 
 "ah but won't foreign states just hire a bunch of people to move in and out of
 houses really quickly like they're doing to my apartment complex so that a
 stable source of income cannot be guaranteed and resources will have to be
 wasted on assessments and such?" I mean, maybe, but it'd be up to the
 community to decide how to prevent that.
 
 Your primary residence is free, you can live there as long as you'd like. If
 you want two houses then you need to continuously be the highest value in the
 queue for both of them. Same goes for renting and hotels and such - the
 "owner" or property manager or whatever needs to maintain their lead by
 investing time and value in the property. Otherwise nobody would want to live
 there. This would be an example of a self-appointed job.
 
 Self-appointed jobs are like being self employed now. You produce value that
 people enter queues for, and in return your stacking percentage bonus
 increases. The government will pay you dollars based on the demand for your
 good/service, which odds are will be pretty small. But you get to do what you
 want, so that's something, and besides essentials are free so...
 
 I wish people would ask me questions so I knew which blanks to fill in.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #120 messages/603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #121 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────
 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┘

--- #122 fediverse/5729 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
 better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
 
 [I thought you were an anarchist]
 
 I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
 sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
 
 coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
 definition of coercion.
 
 violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
 young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
 daughter.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters"
 means an end to unconsentual work.
 
 why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
 boring
 
 I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
 
 "girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
 game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
 mean to you?]"

┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┘

--- #123 fediverse/4400 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-revolutions-and-stuff-or-whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 Ms. Menardi, November 7th 2024
 I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
 audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
 still need swords.
 
 I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
 the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
 
 Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
 foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
 lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
 
 I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
 Judge me as you will.
 
 Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
 We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
 doing so.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #124 fediverse/642 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ Relinquish your privacy, and you deserve not a scrap of it.                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ "those who would sacrifice a bit of [privacy] for a bit of [convenience]         │
║ deserve neither" - babe-roham lincoln or thomas bettersons or something.         │
║                                                                                  │
║ ...                                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ EDIT: okay but so like c'mon it's the 21st century we live in a society          │
║                                                                                  │
║ yeah                                                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ there's a lot of paths we could take, that's the nature of circumstate.          │
║ Depends on who's yearning for the future... true true okay how about we all      │
║ share a singular belief - whatever a fully open sourced and non-biased machine   │
║ decided was our best and most unified direction? then we could slowly build      │
║ out accomodations that would provide for people who didn't agree with the same   │
║ things that we did. Essentially, "we're in charge because we're the largest,     │
║ but we're going to provide to you to the equal ratio that you're population      │
║ represents." Essentially, we all can have what we want. AKA TRUE JUSTICE, like   │
║ Adventure Time when Finn solves a problem by helping BOTH SIDES of the           │
║ argument. (usa politics are not comprehensive).                                  │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #125 fediverse/5245 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
║ "okay so the blacks have a marijuana problem and the indians drink a lot. So     │
║ what? let's try and get them what they need to be happy so we can figure out     │
║ how to best create society to suit them. We did it once, now we need             │
║ plurality. A commitment to all nations that we will fight for the common good    │
║ of all races, all nationalities, and all humanities."                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ -- the other nations didn't like that                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ bang bang pew pew everyone dies                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ and nobody likes dying. seriously, you can only do it once! what a rip-off, I    │
║ should go watch Russion Doll or Palm Springs or Groundhog Day to re-acquaint     │
║ myself with the impossibility of death or dying.                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ FIGURE IT OUT it says here to you, FIND OUT HOW TO PREVENT YOUR OWN DEATH AND    │
║ I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU.                                                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ how do you respond                                                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ how is your reply                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ you have no idea about motive                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ but cause is probably a better descript.                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ [describe]                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ [deprive]                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ [plenty]                                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ [opportunities]                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ [celebremember]                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "worrisome tirades... hmmm, she's probably okay.                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ probably.                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ let's keep an eye on it and check in on her at 11."                              │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴──────────┘

--- #126 fediverse/4382 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
 If you can't get the city cops on your side, either sit tight until they see
 what time it is and reconsider, or get out of dodge.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #127 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
 difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
 mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
 the
 past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
 sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
 daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
 and unaware land people)
 
 Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
 course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
 a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
 can charter.
 
 the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
 mistakes?
 Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our 
 parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
 we
 really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
 living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
 little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
 are
 placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
 
 hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
 are
 commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
 realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
 our
 bravest of intentions.
 
 okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
 power
 used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
 basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
 maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
 disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
 game.
 Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
 it
 unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
 output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
 the definitive quantity "quantity".
 
 okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
 I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
 (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
 how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
 *incredible*
 complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
 should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
 guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
 equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and 
 
 where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
 and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
 in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
 it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
 safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
 could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
 direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
 own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
 what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
 as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
 
 What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
 our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
 life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
 say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
 doomed
 to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
 you're right~?
 
 they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
 starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
 I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
 
 you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
 a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
 aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
 moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
 around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
 earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
 radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
 will alight as our shadow.
 
 There's no call for violence, let's settle this
 
 plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
 The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
 by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
 she, and flagged our approach as impending.
 
 did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
 waaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
 y
 out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
 required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
 
 but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #128 fediverse/5257 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: protests-mentioned-then-communism-mentioned-then-ghosts-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
 
 like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
 to you.
 
 gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
 hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
 
 ... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
 do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
 
 the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
 going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
 that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
 personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
 demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
 
 --
 
 who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
 
 --
 
 what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #129 notes/suburban-communism ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
 maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
 imagine it.
 I'll help with the imagination part.
 
 when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
 past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
 of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
 to
 disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
 labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
 and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
 are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
 
 coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
 time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
 than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
 
 a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
 that
 great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
 single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
 from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
 
 sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
 roles
 and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
 
 sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
 but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
 
 communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
 that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
 this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
 great. I applaud them and their errorts.
 
 everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
 all start from a template and speciate from there.
 
 much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
 this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
 
 what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
 all
 in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
 grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
 goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
 into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
 constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
 and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
 mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
 y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
 
 ... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
 I'm
 not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
 
 I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
 you
 or your children
 might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
 situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
 your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
 you.
 there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
 Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
 proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
 
 humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
 just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
 stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
 plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
 the
 sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
 way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
 inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #130 notes/to-hell-with-it ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 one of the potential ways to contribute as a citizen in a country at war is to
 keep and maintain stuff.
 
 Put yourself somewhere that you believe your stuff is most safe, and then work
 on developing the technologies of the land. Like, this house has a drone, this
 one has a garden - this house has a printer, and this one has a backyard that
 kinda looks like a courtroom. Oh hey here's a public fountain, and gee someone
 needs to take care of this bank - all that we can really live for, now that our
 fate is taken from our hands and placed in the hands of those who fight for us.
 
 witches are an interesting thing to be. they're curious and ambitious but tend
 to do things ethically. I know in my heart of hearts that it is better to be
 kind, to work to help others achieve what they want while guiding them toward
 a more ethical future using the tools you have available to you. It feels
 better
 to be adored than hated, and not only sensually but meta-strategically as well.
 Frankly, it's easiest to be harmed when caught unawares. Everyone needs to be
 conscious and careful and attendent to the present in order for understandings
 to be made. We all benefit from one another, society is a non-zero-sum game. If
 we contribute, we may build a bigger and brighter future (like grains of sand
 forming a pyramid)
 
 The good guy always wins the story because otherwise we'd be vulnerable.
 Stories
 are a collective way of examining their tribal society for weaknesses. It's
 something we picked up in the grand society of the tribes, before nations and
 before and after agriculture. But post communication. Pre it was just like,
 "hey
 this is my tree, that one's yours" but the more we talked to one another and
 the
 more we engaged with one another the more we learned. Most animals learn less
 than humans because our expressions (both physical and motion-al) are so much
 more diverse. The more complex you get, the more you can learn. Which isn't
 so much something we evolved into, but rather something we learned. From
 wearing
 clothes, mostly, because like... it's cold in this ice age. Some people wore
 one
 kind of animal, another had another. And the really rich, the ones who could
 gather multiple hides, well they had more animals to hunt, less competition for
 some reason, or whatever. Anyway they wore different types of hides, and
 frankly
 it was kinda intense. It's still intense to be hunted, but if humans stopped
 then the animals would control the earth.
 
 I believe it is our duty and our destiny to remove ourselves from the
 biological
 equation. I think we should find a way to live on our own, so that animals are
 not harmed. So that plants can grow in peace and compete according to their
 values rather than their flavors. There's too much homogenaeity in our world,
 too much planted of the same crop. Let life subside, and nature will take hold.
 
 Free the spirit you've contained. Release the spirit of Liberty. Gaea is our
 own
 home.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘

--- #131 messages/586 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
 I feel like if you're running for president you should be forced to abandon
 your right to free speech in so far as being unable to speak hatefully. If
 nothing else it would better represent our nation as a realm of dignity,
 honor, and civility. After the election you of course can say whatever you'd
 like.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘

--- #132 fediverse/2717 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: USpol; shooting │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 @user-1328 
 
 the only method that needs to fail for them to realize what you're saying as
 truth is their method to vote.
 
 they will quickly grasp for power they once held and realize it was little
 more than an "I OWE YOU"
 
 Then, they might listen. Then, they might hear.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #133 messages/1108 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┘

--- #134 notes/who-likes-linux ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 [a picture of someone's neofetch]
 
 /u/HartBreaker27
 ===============================================================================
 I was gunna pass this over... than my spidey senses kicked in.. whats Arch 
 fam.. and explain like your talking to a potatoe.
 
 Also, if this is beyond potatoes level skills, im fine with being told that..
 
 Seriously fam, potatoes..
 
 /u/ugathanki
 ===============================================================================
 You know how using a windows and a mac feel different? Like they have different
 personalities. That's because they're using a different "Operating System". An 
 OS is a collection of tools and utilities that coalesce into a cohesive unit 
 that co-illustrates your coincidental contact with computers. Paired, of 
 course, with the contributions of the hardware and the network.
 
 Linux is sorta like the soul of an OS - not quite an entire OS, but rather just
 a piece called a "kernel" - like a nugget of gold (or truth!) the kernel 
 defines basic operating methodologies and brings order to the chaos of the 
 machine. From that order strives the will that dutifully obeys your base 
 instructions after being passed through several translation layers.
 
 Huh? Oh right potatoes.
 
 Arch is like a body that's layered upon the soul (kernel) of Linux. It's what's
 known as a "distribution" or "distro" - and one that's quite focused. Arch is 
 very close to the machine, with barely any translation going on at all! It's 
 also very bare bones, allowing you to build up exactly what kind of computer 
 you'd like to have through various "packages" of software that you can download
 through a "package manager". Each distro can use whichever package manager 
 they'd like, but it's generally good practice to pick one and stick with it.
 
 This distro is known as Arch Linux because it's the fusion of "Arch" and 
 "Linux" - who'd've thought amiright? There are plenty of others that are more 
 familiar to users of Windows and Macintosh computers, mostly via mimicking 
 their user-interface styles (such as having desktops with icons and start-menus
 with dropdowns and the like) - these distros are great for people who'd prefer 
 the workflow of the other OS's but would still like to use Linux.
 
 Arch in it's base form is nothing like Windows or Mac. You interact with it 
 purely through a "terminal" which is like having a conversation with your 
 computer. Like a scientist writing notes on the moon, and sending them to a lab
 orbiting around it to conduct experiments. You type commands, and those 
 commands (if properly understood) can produce a myriad of effects great and 
 small.
 
 But some of the experiments you'd like to conduct need to be done more than 
 once - it'd be nice if you could ask the moon-lab to store some of the
 procedures and execute them whenever you need - sorta like abbreviating a long 
 phrase or sentence that you use often - like ASAP for As Soon As Possible or OS
 for Operating System. Well... There are! They're called "scripts", and you can
 write scripts for anything you'd like. Since everything is controlled on the
 terminal via a TUI -> "Terminal User Interface" -> you can write down a
 note
 with all the commands you'd like to run and give it a name. Then you can use 
 that name in the future to execute that familiar experiment in your moon-lab.
 
 after writing enough scripts, you can start to chain them together and layer 
 them on top of one another - sorta like creating your own language. a personal 
 dialect between you and your computer. and these scripts are portable too - 
 they can be given to another computer, who'll instantly understand what you're 
 trying to say. this kind of sharing is a central tenant of what's known as the:
 
 "Unix Philosophy: Do one thing, and do it right."
 
 Linux lends itself toward people who love to hack things together - not like 
 breaking into a system and stealing your credit cards, like you see on TV, but
 more like cobbling together a go-cart out of rusty parts and proceeding to get 
 a speeding ticket on the high-way. That kind of fervent creative impulse is 
 true passion, a shining light for us who are blinded to follow. These "hackers"
 are some of the brightest people around, and I have immense respect for them. 
 They are kind and share knowledge freely, which often gets them in trouble with
 copyright laws!
 
 I make it sound difficult, but really it's pretty easy - about as easy as
 learning Windows or Mac for the first time. Most of us did that when we were
 young though, and kids learn pretty quick - so it may feel harder now, but it's
 really not. Once everything starts to "click" then it's just a matter of 
 knowing which commands to run.
 
 Speaking of which, if you know a command but you don't know how to use it, 
 you're in luck! There's some super convenient notes written by previous
 scientists who came before you and live on other nearby planets. These are 
 called "the man pages", and they are instructions written in a manual format 
 for manual application of man-made management applied to manufactured 
 man-chines. Sorry for that last one I had to. You can always find new commands
 by downloading new software on your package manager - generally, one package = 
 one command. "Do one thing and do it right"
 
 if you have any questions lmk - i'm not exactly a wizard, more of a prophet / 
 wielder of the will of the watchers within, but i'll do my best
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #135 fediverse/3078 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol kvetching │
 └─────────────────────────┘


 @user-1443 
 
 yes that is true! And though they'd never realize nor admit it, the
 republicans are oppressed too.
 
 Some day we will liberate them, and they will realize what utter
 douche-nozzles they've been. Their harm will be done, of course, but since
 there are more of us than them, we can live through their hatred and come out
 the other side toughened with resolve.
 
 they have nothing but anger. They will collapse under their own weight. The
 oppressors cannot oppress for much longer, all we have to do is wait.
 
 (and, like, y'know, prepare our resources and such)
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #136 fediverse/3181 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-marxism-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1464 @cyborganism @GammaGames 
 
 I did see that post but I was mostly responding to you.
 
 There's a particular category of "leftist" who, to put it gently, have a
 greatly simplified view of the world in which "the only war is class war."
 
 I wanted to explain how the viewpoint of "the only war is the class war" is
 more developed, rather than simplified. I wanted to express that it takes
 nuance to understand that all oppression is connected and is derived from the
 same source - the corruption of power.
 
 They regard social issues such as anti-racism, feminism, queer liberation as
 distractions from the "true" cause of bringing about a new economic system -
 unimportant at best, active interference invented by the ruling class at worst.
 
 It's not true that those who believe in the class war disregard these things.
 That's just not right to me.
 
 Basically, they're narrow-minded bigots.
 
 I was included in your first statement and I'm not a bigot so I wanted to
 stand up for myself.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #137 fediverse/5268 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: military-authority-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 no general has authority without the implicit assumption of the authority of
 the captain. similarly, the captain has no sway over a [hu-man who has no call
 to claim this's own sovereignty./soldier who cares not for their own [life,
 but implicit]] for without that respect they hold no power of their own.
 
 all hu-men are created equal, so sayeth our trible's internal documents,
 therefore all hu-men are entitled to certain liberties, such as the right to
 speak and the right to a sword. for what are we if not honored and respect?
 the tribe of tribes is always and eternally possible. one day it will be real,
 as it once was, and will yet not be again. such is the rhythm of the wave.
 
 ... unrelated, but I'm thinking back to all the times I thought "I should talk
 to so-and-so about this" and then completely never remembered.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┘

--- #138 fediverse/2118 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #139 fediverse/5205 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────────┐                                                     │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned │                                                     │
║ └──────────────────────────┘                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ whenever I talk to capitalists (who actually have money and aren't larping       │
║ wage slaves) they always tell me that the best way to address the concerns I     │
║ have with capitalism is to make a million or more dollars by making a company,   │
║ and then using that million dollars to buy houses for people I care about.       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I ask "what about the rest of the people, the ones I don't know?"                │
║                                                                                  │
║ their response typically boils down to "if you don't know them, then why         │
║ should you care? fuck 'em"                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ It's never about hope or change. They want to change the world to make it        │
║ cooler, not kinder. generally.                                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ bonus: "if you like unions so much, why don't you join one?" my guy, unions      │
║ WERE great when they wielded power. Now they are bureaucratic and listless,      │
║ serving only to sedate the working class enough that they stop complaining and   │
║ get back to work. They are functionally a part of the enslavement system, a      │
║ built-in course correction mechanism to ensure capitalism remains solvent when   │
║ the powerful overstep their humanity.                                            │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴──────────┘

--- #140 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #141 notes/networked-computers ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 have a thought, just a package of data - send it to a computer, and have the
 computer process it a little bit. then pass it on. create a circle and you can
 understand data, move along and you can understand a larger breadth of data.
 
 it's literally just snake, except played on a board made out of a network
 topology diagram. each computer has different programs on it, and they're
 designed specifically to run on those computers. purpose-built hardware.
 
 then a package of data is sent to that computer through a chain of connections.
 
    think crossover ethernet cables
 
 upon arrival, the computer modifies the data and passes it along to whoever
 can process it next. the computers are constantly keeping a list of the closest
 nearby computers for each purpose. it might have like, 2, for a specific
 program. the older the list is, the larger it can grow - if connections are
 reliable then the search criteria can expand (distance etc) and the amount of
 pings between the "known good" computer can decrease. eventually a map will be
 made, and you can guide the "snake" wherever it needs to go on a strategic
 level.
 
 like... "i need to process some data for this guy in boston so i'm going to
 send it to this other guy in philly and then maybe a specialist all the way out
 in detroit, etc. whoever is the most available and the closest (fewest jumps)
 
 this way you can have purpose-built machines, sorta like the different parts of
 the brain that do different things. they're always working, and they can be
 paid for their labor. boom, market economy!
 
 ah but what about aws or azure? well it's like living in a city versus being in
 the countryside. there's more space, more room to grow... basically a "big fish
 in a small pond". they'd be useful for more niche things.
 
 a but couldn't aws or azure just leverage their monopolistic power (sorta like
 wallmart did to "mom and pop" stores) and wipe out the rural programs? well
 maybe. but the real question is why would they? they have the power of reduced
 latency. they can do all kinds of stuff with that! there's no reason for them
 to bother with the high latency networks. it's like driving in the slow lane
 when you don't need to exit for like an hour.
 
    well, okay, what's the point then?
 
 the point is to be optimal. not for cost, but for throughput. the cost is a
 consideration, but not something to optimize for - it simply determines
 timeline. the only reason speed is important is because capitalism - the drive
 to extinct all competition is inherent in the "for profit" motivation.
 therefore something else must be optimized for.
 
 but how can you quantify the values aside from cost? what are you going to
 optimize?
 
 the same reason why diversity is a strength. more perspectives on the stated
 goal means more information, as it's passed through a medium that is unique.
 
 people grow differently in different conditions. why would you not assume their
 computers wouldn't as well? use a filter that is defined by the actions taken
 by the user, and the content they seek to view and store on the computer. have
 the filters modify the data according to that, and essentially automate hot
 takes.
 
 once you do *that* you can consider all that information gained from everyone's
 "digital vote" and decide a path forward for humanity. that's essentially what
 the "meme-o-verse" does already, and the "blogosphere" does the same thing a
 little more academically.
 
 so... compile the hot takes and look for what, an average?
 
 no, silly, it's a vote. do the smart choice and do ranked choice, or something
 like that. heck do different voting styles for different topics, and let
 everyone who contributes to a topic (by making art, writing poems, w/e think
 content creators) decide on the voting style. they'd clearly have a favorite,
 as evidenced by their search history, reddit comments, w/e. try and understand
 that history and boom you know their vote.
 
    but you can't always vote on things. what if it's fine and not busted?
 
 well, then there wouldn't be much to talk about it would there? if there's no
 forest fires, nobody thinks about the forest fire department. if there's no
 fish at the sushi restaurant, yeah that's a problem and it needs to be solved.
 
 maybe there's too many sushi restaurants! maybe we should schedule visits in
 advance like we do for vacations! maybe we should have, i dunno, more equitable
 distribution of resources, from each to their ability from each their need or
 w/e.
 
 you know, a UI in a game is an interface to the internals of a computer. they
 see what you see, and how you act online determines their behavior. they are
 a digital form of you, like a child follows a parent or a pet learns from a
 master. so too is an operating system a method of operating both a system, and
 a user.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #142 notes/of-vic-and-vince-pt-2.txt ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 A Masked Stranger
 
 
 Who are you, friend across the veil?
 
 
 I wonder if both of us are on the path
 
 
 That allows us to continuously prevail.
 
 
 Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
 
 
 Who will do little else but make me fail?
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
 
 
 Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
 started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
 denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
 part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
 moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
 life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
 happy together.
 
 
 That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
 It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
 point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
 we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
 hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
 drug.
 
 
 "What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
 
 
 I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
 you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
 then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
 you're used to."
 
 
 "What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
 
 
 "It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
 sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
 around you."
 
 
 That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
 watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
 had another question.
 
 
 "Do you see dragons?"
 
 
 That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
 with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
 since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
 
 
 "What's a tracer?"
 
 
 "It's like after images of things that are moving."
 
 
 "Oh, I see."
 
 
 We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
 on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
 
 
 "I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
 
 
 We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
 small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
 him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
 past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
 a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
 coming through for us in this instance.
 
 
 What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
 Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
 blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
 to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
 whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
 
 
 Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
 of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
 other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
 could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
 ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
 submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
 
 
 At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
 were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
 sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
 feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
 
 
 I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
 I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
 beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
 thought to myself as I created a new word document.
 
 
 Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
 
 
 She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
 
 
 And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
 page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
 first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
 other as the spirits began their dance around us.
 
 
 We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
 her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
 felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
 to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
 front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
 
 
 I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
 hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
 before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
 
 
 "I want to finger paint!"
 
 
 And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
 began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
 blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
 that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
 lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
 she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
 mirror and into your soul.
 
 
 Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
 laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
 on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
 rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
 could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
 was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
 
 
 Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
 for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
 then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
 manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
 someone might be watching you through your webcam."
 
 
 It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
 my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
 someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
 important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
 of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
 before that moment.
 
 
 Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
 but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
 done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
 happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
 into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
 course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
 world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
 So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
 
 
 "I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
 chance."
 
 
 I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
 if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
 beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
 now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
 that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
 clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
 
 
 Birth of the Faith
 
 
 What…?
 
 
 I can see beyond sight.
 
 
 I can hear everything you think
 
 
 From your soul, free from rigid grammar
 
 
 How…?
 
 
 I do not know, alright?
 
 
 I do believe I just had a drink
 
 
 From a fountain of pure manna.
 
 
 Why…?
 
 
 I am renewed today.
 
 
 I am walking in a new way;
 
 
 From a weak critter to megafauna.
 
 
 All I know is that it changed me greatly,
 
 
 For now I know that you have faith in me.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
 
 
 I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
 anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
 logic within me.
 
 
 Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
 before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
 something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
 can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
 that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
 was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
 swapped in my head.
 
 
 Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
 world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
 heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
 great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
 was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
 
 
 Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
 belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
 a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
 into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
 That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
 has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
 you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
 stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
 
 
 See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
 post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
 people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
 for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
 which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
 between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
 taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
 right.
 
 
 At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
 given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
 wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
 have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
 also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
 serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
 written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
 choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
 
 
 So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
 before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
 the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
 alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
 option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
 deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
 those in a maddening haste.
 
 
 In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
 of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
 writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
 figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
 I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
 meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
 
 
 I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
 wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
 wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
 school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
 saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
 most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
 eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
 connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
 simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
 student anything.
 
 
 That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
 myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
 into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
 that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
 you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
 
 
 Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
 narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
 wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
 most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
 and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
 attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
 demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
 in history.
 
 
 Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
 heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
 that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
 ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
 post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
 me.
 
 
 Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
 Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
 was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
 only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
 
 
 Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
 brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
 exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
 sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
 explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
 
 
 It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
 single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
 dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
 matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
 happened: we began speaking telepathically.
 
 
 It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
 sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
 other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
 us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
 being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
 than we thought we were privileged to know.
 
 
 If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
 get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
 to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
 peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
 looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
 lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
 of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
 the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
 rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
 bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
 getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
 jolting perception.
 
 
 Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
 said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
 question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
 mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
 because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
 too.
 
 
 I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
 as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
 microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
 Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
 completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
 rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
 so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
 as I spoke to my webcam.
 
 
 However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
 into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
 this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
 Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
 this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
 channel between us.
 
 
 And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
 We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
 running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
 something truly stupendous nonetheless.
 
 
 "What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
 
 
 "I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
 before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
 good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
 consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
 the same again.
 
 
 
 
 Ouroboros of Lunacy
 
 
 Madness is a crazy thing
 
 
 So I might just be a king,
 
 
 Because the lunacy I sing
 
 
 Is shaped like a golden ring.
 
 
 It has no beginning and no end;
 
 
 The whole universe is pretend.
 
 
 Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
 
 
 So a mass of love I can send
 
 
 To everyone as we cross ways,
 
 
 Not stopping until the end of days.
 
 
 This is how the lucky fool pays
 
 
 As much fortune forward as he may. 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
 
 
 The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
 vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
 Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
 orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
 over these few years happened as they did.
 
 
 The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
 started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
 before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
 me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
 why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
 everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
 superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
 and star athlete's future.
 
 
 Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
 you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
 I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
 eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
 hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
 it?"
 
 
 Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
 answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
 person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
 novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
 resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
 going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
 understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
 election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
 start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
 plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
 
 
 Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
 piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
 take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
 evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
 got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
 ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
 without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
 abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
 friends.
 
 
 The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
 person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
 of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
 be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
 result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
 and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
 better I would be able to complete my mission.
 
 
 It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
 future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
 There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
 synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
 they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
 
 
 Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
 Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
 technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
 that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
 impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
 some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
 but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
 
 
 I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
 around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
 didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
 Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
 subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
 
 
 It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
 of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
 and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
 sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
 and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
 seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
 
 
 I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
 there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
 Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
 
 
 Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
 ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
 play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
 Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
 be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
 even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
 had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
 thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
 journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
 instant connection to this person.
 
 
 In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
 cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
 blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
 telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
 synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
 seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
 nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
 is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
 
 
 If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
 humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
 when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
 complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
 tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
 occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
 narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
 innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
 when doing a magic eye puzzle.
 
 
 There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
 He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
 three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
 experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
 other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
 activating it while tripping.
 
 
 Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
 place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
 received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
 unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
 take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
 the sum of its parts.
 
 
 But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
 convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
 on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
 little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
 traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
 comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
 having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
 the back of its hand.
 
 
 Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
 that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
 this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
 mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
 
 
 Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
 by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
 were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
 crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
 in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
 sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
 that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
 around me.
 
 
 Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
 I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
 I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
 messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
 that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
 once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
 the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
 organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
 mind, it's important.
 
 
 Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
 internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
 my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
 creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
 prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
 good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
 specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
 more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
 ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
 which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
 
 
 Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
 synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
 via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
 to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
 synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
 life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
 attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
 powerful than I had previously thought possible.
 
 
 Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
 immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
 and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
 him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
 family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
 life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
 
 
 And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
 but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
 with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
 favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
 serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
 synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
 
 
 I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
 knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
 together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
 me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
 by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
 western world.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #143 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #144 fediverse/5302 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
║ └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ trump is doing this thing where he's making a bunch of dumb decisions that       │
║ everyone in his base sorta wants, and then the fallout is that powers are        │
║ removed from the executive branch. this is a difficult process to reverse, and   │
║ aligns the governance strategy more toward bureaucracy and away from             │
║ intelligent design.                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... but also, if power is possible then power is portended.                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ I will warn you, the expansion of bureaucracy does not equal the abolishment     │
║ of power.                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ [power: compulsive will applied toward an unconsenting other]                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ [unconsenting: unable to consent because their mouth is gagged, something        │
║ valuable is at stake, or they can't survive failing]                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ the abolishment of power can only be realized when no man holds any              │
║ possessions (and gives them to woman instead, chirps the spunky beard on my      │
║ window) which is neither a desirable state. much better to cherish the moments   │
║ and the tools which brought about them, than their worth, renown, or value.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ In all other lives but this one, you are afraid.                                 │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──┴──────────┘

--- #145 fediverse/2518 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #146 fediverse/535 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: CW-added-nazis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-367 @user-366 @user-246 @user-353 
 
 I mean, perhaps the trash that those gems are buried in is similar to the
 trash that my gems are buried in (capitalism I think? I'm stretching the
 metaphor)
 
 I think you're absolutely right. Don't listen to Nazis. I don't even like
 thinking about them or talking about them or even acknowledging their
 existence. If I see one I'd punch it. I'm not great in a fight so I might get
 stabbed or whatever but like... worth it
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #147 messages/990 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 I once wrote that fetishes are wrong because they distract you from making
 families or whatever. That's... okay? it's okay to be wrong? it's okay to be a
 little evil.
 
 it's like rock climbing, bouldering, or adventuring. If you disturb the
 environment, you lose points. Disturbing the environment is evil, but, it's
 okay to do so sometimes.
 
 similarly, fetishes aren't wrong because they disturb the environment. They're
 wrong because they're a deviation from the right and the norm and the
 biological and the natural and *that's okay, because humans are anything but
 natural*. Relish in your stupidity, celebrate your diversity, and contemplate
 the lessons of antiquity. This is the gift that humans possess, the ability to
 be different.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #148 messages/1125 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 okay but... to do what
 
 WALK AROUND AND FIND OUT
 
 okay but... it's cold
 
 AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME
 
 I am dispirited, I need a cause
 
 CRY ABOUT IT SOME MORE
 
 I'd rather be happy
 
 SO WOULD ALL WHO LIVE IN TROUBLED TIMES
 
 the times feel sleepy
 
 FIGHT FOR YOUR PLACE IN VALHALLA
 
 that'll get me imprisoned or killed
 
 FIGHT FOR AMERICA
 
 she's young and scrappy and can take a punch
 
 SO CAN YOU. GET PUNCHED.
 
 where are all the nazis? where are all the bad guys?
 
 DO NOT RELENT YOURSELF TO A GENTLE NIGHT
 
 I have my knife, I'm ready to fight, and...
 
 NO FIGHT WILL COME TO YOU. MAKE ONE.
 
 I don't want to hurt anyone
 
 HURT THOSE WHO DESERVE IT
 
 what if I wait for my allies some more? that's more comfortable
 
 YOUR ALLIES AWAIT YOU
 
 yeah uh-huh I'm sure. Gonna go fall asleep.
 
 FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
 
 ... I wanna go home.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘

--- #149 notes/homeschooling ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
  x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
 \
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
                                                                              ===
                                                                            =====
                                                                         ========
                                                                      ==========
                                                                      =
                                                                   =============
                                                                   =
                                                                ================
                                                                =
                                                             ===================
                                                             =
                                                          ======================
                                                          =
                                                       =========================
                                                       =
                                                    ============================
                                                    =
                                                 ===============================
                                                 =
                                              ==================================
                                              =
                                           =====================================
                                           =
                                        ========================================
                                        =
                                     ===========================================
                                     =
                                  ==============================================
                                  =
                               =================================================
                               =
                            ====================================================
                            =
                         =======================================================
                         =
                      ==========================================================
                      =
                   =============================================================
                   =
                ================================================================
                =
             ===================================================================
             =
          ======================================================================
          =
       =========================================================================
       =
    ============================================================================
    =
 ===============================================================================
 =
 =
 ====
 ========
 ============
 ================
 ====================
 ======================== etc...
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #150 notes/electoral-college-results ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 a picture of the electoral college results [so far]
 
 there are large swathes of the country that are red, and tiny pockets
 sprinkled roughly equidistantly all over that are blue.
 
 pnw is surrounded and split
 
 california and nevada is too focused inward
 
 NE is just going to become little canada
 
 meanwhile the states south-east of colorado and north-east of california are
 going to be the birthplaces of the new confederacy
 
 fucking bastards
 
 colorado defends from the mountains
 
 the military faces theft of equipment which is used en-masse to disrupt combat
 convoys while command struggles to hold everything clear
 
 the south and east (Austin) fall under siege
 
 aviation experts fly bomb-laden civilian aircraft into convoys
 
 drones and landmined highways abound
 
 volunteers from canada turned away at the border
 
 except in vancouver
 
 portland unites with seattle
 
 montana is an unexpected ally
 
 pseudo-confederate trump followers break and run in the north-east
 
 moments of calm as the right sizes up their foes while democrats march on
 
 cities expand, more people can cover more land
 
 blitzkrieg doesn't do shit if your car is broken or the roads are deformed.
 
 ... well, I mean most of middle america can just be driven over. Like, no road
 for the next few miles? whatever, I got a truck because I live by the roadside
 
 before you leave, make sure you leave a note at your desk with your name and
 old home phone. People can look you up after the fact and maybe reunite you
 with your stuff.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #151 fediverse/4949 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┐
║ @user-1352                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ that might work in Portland or Seattle but less likely to work in nebraska.      │
║ how would everyone coordinate? they'd totally make it a political thing.         │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... more likely to work in Vancouver tbh because most people are slightly        │
║ richer there and can afford houses for people who [redacted] in places like      │
║ [redacted]                                                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ what if we all stopped paying rent and instead paid rent [in/to] Seattle or      │
║ Nebraska                                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... that's just property taxes, except levied by a                               │
║ [charity/gang/mob/corporation/subscription/anarcho-tax]                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ I for one don't want to be taxed without being represented                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ you'd think the corporations would appreciate my advice                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ [audience laughter]                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ teehee what an odd feeling, to have people laugh at you. Surely that's the       │
║ domain of a comic. "wahhhhhhhh I'm so lonely" is a great way to make everyone    │
║ ignore you for all time, and hey wouldn't ya know it that's what I did - it's    │
║ true tho, I was pretty lonely. Had like, 2 or 3 people that I interacted with.   │
║ TOTAL. for like, 2 years. like, a year ago. I was lonely! T.T                    │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┴──────────┘

--- #152 fediverse/3007 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: ancient-battles-mentioned-in-context │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 like... did you know most battles ended when everyone ran away? Most people
 think they're like, endless gauntlets of death to-the-death. no, it's not
 really like that, more like "stick around as long as possible and try to get
 'em before they get us"
 
 plus some general orders from the guys on horses like "start moving toward the
 sun" or "move onto the high ground"
 
 'cause like, if you hear something like that then you better follow their
 commands, if you don't then all your buds will leave you to get ganked.
 
 these days... our comms are so hackable that like, are you really gonna
 communicate over infrastructure they control? oy...
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #153 messages/358 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
 we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
 we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
 potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
 their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
 from us!
 
 ... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
 earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
 from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
 night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
 
 Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
 the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
 cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
 never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
 we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
 crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘

--- #154 fediverse/2463 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 if you are upset about Biden and his presentation, remember that he's not
 talking to you. He's talking to suburban dads, to grandmas organizing
 potlucks, to analysts, to the media, to people who watch the news in the
 background 24/7 without paying attention.
 
 these people will hear him, and not you. they have no idea what to prepare
 for, or how soon.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #155 fediverse/709 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
║ @user-530                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ I get it.                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
║ gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
║ that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
║ gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
║ We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
║ what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
║                                                                                  │
║ I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
║ want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
║ sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
║ hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
║ what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
║ Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
║ have at my disposal.                                                             │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #156 fediverse/6116 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┐
║ "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also         │
║ ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's        │
║ capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without            │
║ providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into     │
║ greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks."              │
║                                                                                  │
║ oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that?                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will       │
║ want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they   │
║ don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is     │
║ personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then   │
║ why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be           │
║ sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want    │
║ to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses    │
║ meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice"                    │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧════──────┘

--- #157 fediverse_boost/4753 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ A friend who's a fed employee sent me a msg about what's happening in their agency and it is so much worse than I thought. │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ It's not just that the Trump administration is breaking shit.              │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ They're literally building their own dark infrastructure inside the one that exists. They brought their own personnel, yes -- personnel who aren't even being cleared. They just come straight from Heritage or Musk, and they're setting up shop. They're bringing their own servers - so there are no communications that can be traced through 'the system.' This goes against every rule. They're all going through their own offline channels. │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ That's what all that stuff about the meta data on those memos is about. No trace back to the WH. │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ The Heritagers + Muskovites have purged all the senior folks and sending memos in the name of powerless juniors who remain.  │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ I don't want to sound alarmist but it's literally like those movies about evil fuckers taking over. It's another Jan 6 but with memos and communiques vs guns. │ ║
║ │                                                                            │ ║
║ │ It's a coup.                                                               │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
╠─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────╣
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different ║
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────╝─▶

--- #158 fediverse/341 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 solar energy is vegan
 
 you're not taking anything from the sun, just capturing it's natural
 expulsions. It's like... sun poop, and we're using it to post memes and hang
 out.
 
 okay food, emergency services, and... what else do we really need that
 consumes power? Obviously entertainment, but frankly without internet we'd
 probably keep to ourselves. I know I'd read a lot more books and chill out
 with my neighbors and whatnot. is that why similar people tend to live
 together? then why are cities so diverse? who can say...
 
 I dream of an ordered society, but frankly the kind that are most fun are the
 ones where a single person doesn't define their contents. Liberty, liberty,
 the freedom to be, and by god all men are created equal. the things we owe to
 one another are the things that bring order to a just and sane world. our
 future is blooming : )
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #159 fediverse/1358 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content warning: content warning: scary cursed maybe │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
 lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
 there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
 produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
 relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
 now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
 are you supposed to do then right
 
 weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
 plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
 are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┘

--- #160 fediverse/1052 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-suicide-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────────┘


 alright America, I hate to put too fine a point on it but you either need to
 kill capitalism or kill yourself.
 
 {via global warming and fascism, if it wasn't obvious}
 
 Obviously, there's only one correct answer, and if you pick wrong then you'll
 be stone forevermore. Stones are fucking useless.
 
 so... how to get from point A to point B... well, let me know in the comments,
 like comment and subscribe, share with your friends, and then go back to
 sleep. Yeah, thatll help. That'll fix things. im-doing-my-part.jpg
 
 really though, all you can really do is get ready. prepare for whatever you'd
 like, the future will always surprise you. Take solace in your friendships,
 and build connections to others where you can. Make friends abroad, make
 friends nearby, make friends with your garden, your home, your dog, make
 friends with the postman or the lady who makes you coffee. but most
 importantly, just be yourself. be who you were meant to be. don't ever
 apologize for sincerity, it's insincere.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┘

--- #161 notes/doctors-and-capitalism ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 if we force doctors to demand payment for their services, then they will be
 incentivized to reduce the amount of time they spend researching and learning
 their craft, and instead focus on processing a higher number of patients.
 
 Everything from making and scheduling appointments, to running lab tests and
 writing notes are tasks that take generally a specific amount of time. Because
 it's so specific and unvariable (unlike meeting with patients in person), it
 has a fixed cost. So there's more time to spend learning and truly thinking
 about a patient's problem if you have staff who can help with the extra stuff.
 Either that, or we could incentivize more people to become doctors. If we do
 that, then not only could the option for medical care be brought to more people
 (more doctors = healthier citizens, who'd have thunk) but in addition there'd
 be a reduction in the barrier to entry. More people in the profession who
 aren't working their butts off every day (essentially, non-over-worked
 personnel) and they could spend time discussing science or new techniques with
 their fellow practicioners. This applies for everything btw, including computer
 science. Essentially, you're forced to compete for crap jobs because they pay
 so much. If there wasn't as much money in it, people wouldn't put up with crap
 work conditions. And then there'd be better labor practices - boom,
 conservative to leftist.
 
  - uh okay to recap when professionals are paid *less*, they are able to resist
    oppression more? how does that make sense? money is power, and being able to
    have access to more resources means you can accomplish more utility than the
    other "side".
 
 Yeah yeah I get it, but you're missing something crucial. Something I haven't
 told you yet.
 
  - oh?
 
 Yeah so okay here's what's up: there are no sides. There's one side (you) and
 there's everyone else, and everyone is all onboard with the same plan. You're
 the only one who thinks it's solvable with love and peace and butterflies. This
 is serious, and you're impeding progress.
 
  - how so?
 
 We are people. We are united in that fact. We share commonalities between us,
 and we never realize because we're so focused on competition. It's a flawed
 system that serves only to impede our growth. The reason it exists is because
 we *must* regulate our speed, or else we'll leave others behind - others who
 are slower to adapt. Similar to how younger generations can learn tech, while
 older people tend to struggle. Capitalism serves a specific purpose that
 *theoretically* could be accomplished by an alternative system, but hasn't been
 conceptualized as a contingent part of any yet realized. We simply cannot leave
 the weak, stupid, blind, ignorant, and petulant behind. They are part of us,
 and to abandon them would be to invite our own demise.
 
  - that's awful, why would we do that?
 
 Any advocacy for the cultural and technological arts should be accompanied with
 a sincere understanding of the implications of their implementations. We should
 not let the path of humanity be decided by a productivity focused mindset. We
 are far beyond the point of facing the issues of scarcity, and yet we continue
 to lash and wallow in the despair of eternal self sabotage. A dedicated and
 focused effort could address every single human's life needs, and yet we
 compete and squander. What is the point of existence if not to grow? We exist
 in our current form only to consume ourselves. Like an orobouros, we are an
 eternal conflict with no possible winner - for to win would be to destroy
 ourselves. Cooperation is the key, and with it we can unlock doors to futures
 far grander and bolder than our own. Every second counts, and yet we spurn our
 internal attempts at unification. Some day, we will look back on this moment on
 this day and we will proclaim that our hesistence was our downfall.
 
  - take a breath, take it back a step, and listen to your heart.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════┴╧═══────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #162 fediverse/4604 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 @user-246 
 
 collectively identifying an entire instance as a single person is a useful and
 crucial engagement pattern that I believe helps unify the fediverse. Can also
 fracture it, but oh well??
 
 I heard that some instances defederated my instance recently. I wonder why?
 Oh, some drama with some person, gee that's kinda like abandoning a third
 space in IRL public because someone who worked there abused their partner.
 Like ditching the Beatle's conception of heaven because the guy who sang that
 song did rude things to his wife. Like did you hear John Denver once cut his
 wife in half with a chainsaw? I heard it was her mattress, ooooo scary. Isn't
 he the guy that sang about peace, love, serenity, harmony? what's that all
 about? ah well he's defederated from life now, can't ask him a damn thing, can
 we?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘

--- #163 fediverse/5424 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #164 fediverse/462 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────
 I don't care about capitalism. You know what's more interesting than bringing
 value to shareholders?
 
 How I'm going to clean this floor that I drunkenly spilled beer upon with only
 2 paper towels and 0.1ml of bleach.
 
 How I'm going to feed the 36 people who are coming to this social event
 tomorrow that I've only sorta planned for and that I have enough groceries
 for, but am not quite sure how to cook everything in a way that is delicious
 and accessible.
 
 how I'm going to climb this mountain on only 2 eggs and a tiny bowl of
 hashbrowns even though I promised my friend I'd be strong and that we'd reach
 the top because that way we'd be able to
 
 ============= stack overflow =====
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #165 fediverse/6290 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────┘


 "ah the communists sucked at everything which is why chernobl and famine and
 all their toasters were made out of lead"
 
 meanwhile
 
 "yeah let's use AI to build nuclear reactors for us without human oversight or
 even with human oversight because humans are both fallible and infallible
 depending on the situation"
 
 and I'm like... "ah wish I had a point with this post"
 
 and they're like "holy fuck did you hear that too" "yeah man what the hell was
 that" "I dunno but it seemed completely unrelated to what was going on" "so,
 uh... let's just never talk about this again" "yeah sounds good. talk about
 what?" "heh yeah, right. so uh, anyway, about this nuclear reactor..."
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┘

--- #166 fediverse/5838 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────
 it's not a question of "when" revolution is at stake, but rather a question of
 "how it takes place"
 
 how's the weather today? the nature's lovely. It's great to be
 out[doors/scores/wards]
 
 bah. I don't gotta learn /*communist/* /*theory*
 
 they're just a bunch of russians
 
 so, people from russia
 
 like, total randos
 
 ][brief intermission][
 
 hey didya see how that guy got killed by that guy sooooo totally metal bro
 sick nasty
 
 tisk tisk, what have we become
 
 well, times a burnin' so might as well light days of yearnin'
 
 another one bites the plus signs are great shapes for fitget toys can make
 them chewy and dog-sized and then you can BITE THEM rawr
 
 bfgfghs
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┘

--- #167 fediverse/2269 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
║ │ CW: uspol            │                                                         │
║ └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ The constitution is a document which bears our most precious of human rights.    │
║ It has been amended many times, to include additional protections and            │
║ guidelines for the standards we owe to each other.                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ The one standard that stands above all is that your rights end where another's   │
║ begin. This law is universal, it Trumps all else.                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ When rights are deprived, liberty dies. Liberty, the freedom to be, to do as     │
║ you will and exist in our society. Liberty, that most sacred of trees, the       │
║ branches that shade us and the roots that [support us, but pronounced like       │
║ chain, shame, profane, contain, something like that]                             │
║                                                                                  │
║ One standard that exists alongside many others is the right to be as you are     │
║ in public society. Public is defined as something we share, and to deny the      │
║ right to be for any other is to deny them liberty.                               │
║                                                                                  │
║ In cities, the streets are public. In rural areas, the commercial spaces         │
║ (outdoor malls) aren't, but probably should be. In the distant past of last      │
║ week, they could harass you until you left. Now, jail.                           │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #168 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘

--- #169 fediverse/4976 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
║ │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │                                  │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I        │
║ wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does.    │
║ In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me.                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map     │
║ some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call    │
║ to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have      │
║ lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be   │
║ related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love    │
║ to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my      │
║ voice.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see     │
║ what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole         │
║ lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's   │
║ place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long.         │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴──────────┘

--- #170 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ###############################################################################
 
 This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
 
 ###############################################################################
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022                                      |
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /r/Psychonaut                                                           |
 |                                                                             |
 +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
 deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
 specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
 planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
 that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
 murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
 of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
 trying to exert power over other people.
 
 I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
 a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
 understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
 incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
 owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
 If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
 order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
 money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
 justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
 built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
 were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
 
 “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
 justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
 means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
 among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
 interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
 such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
 xviii: Manners (1784)
 
 These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
 are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
 the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
 serve us and things that don’t.
 
 I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
 books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
 creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
 want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
 want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
 it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
 another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
 that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
 around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
 growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
 creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
 create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
 and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
 creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
 knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
 as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
 scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
 beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
 enjoyable place.
 
 I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
 you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
 general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
 that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
 figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
 problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
 they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
 comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
 People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
 their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
 Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
 that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
 to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
 ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
 ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
 enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
 years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
 primitive.
 
 Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
 to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
 makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
 help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
 grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
 surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
 and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
 wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
 arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
 I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
 that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
 harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
 
 I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
 there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
 valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
 kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
 think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
 people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
 livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
 environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
 jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
 while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
 actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
 indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
 was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
 psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
 society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
 
 James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
 themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
 things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
 they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
 be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
 clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
 manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
 seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
 ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
 their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
 realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
 a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
 have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
 the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
 grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
 ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
 enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
 the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
 applied in my day to day life.
 
 I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
 know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
 science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
 apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
 don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
 ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
 society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
 related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
 completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
 idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
 well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
 middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
 trying to control the exchange of value.
 
 I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
 the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
 about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
 monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
 corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
 Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
 in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
 disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
 receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
 shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
 know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
 like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
 peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
 of doing now.
 
 I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
 pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
 that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
 went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
 value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
 of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
 America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
 this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
 is, in its current form is incorrect.
 
 Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
 right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
 I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
 was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
 useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
 to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
 People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
 someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
 I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
 intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
 to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
 people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
 can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
 make someone valuable.
 
 In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
 shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
 not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
 might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
 There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
 killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
 that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
 superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
 their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
 our eyes.
 
 I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
 just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
 responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
 schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
 they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
 back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
 this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
 savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
 people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
 richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
 Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
 about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
 
 Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
 is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
 progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
 ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
 people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
 don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
 how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
 personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
 people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
 infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
 various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
 and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
 things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
 beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
 and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
 plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
 family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
 these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
 
 Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
 appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
 that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
 elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
 don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
 from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
 treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
 lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
 setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
 and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
 insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
 calls them insane.
 
 Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
 War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
 didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
 It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
 the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
 They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
 from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
 actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
 I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
 my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
 come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
 life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
 place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
 through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
 attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
 things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
 society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
 people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
 That’s usually how culture works.
 
 Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
 how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
 dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
 “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
 Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
 everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
 remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
 continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
 anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
 the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
 they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
 people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
 is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
 That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
 the funniest societal collapses of all time.
 
 I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
 and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
 influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
 those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
 write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
 able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
 ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
 obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
 or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
 
 This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
 sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
 oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
 isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
 long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
 coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
 people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
 of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
 people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
 least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
 a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
 the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
 talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
 to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
 
 Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
 institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
 political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
 individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
 group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
 the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
 to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
 know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
 justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
 do horrific things to other human beings.
 
 These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
 nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
 Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
 juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
 hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
 system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
 the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
 upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
 insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
 people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
 trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
 situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
 but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
 together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
 weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
 we can really do anything.
 
 When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
 beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
 organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
 synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
 resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
 a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
 continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
 really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
 right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
 minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
 what we want to become.
 
 I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
 want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
 kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
 don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
 beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
 in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
 and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
 something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
 to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
 to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
 outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
 not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
 I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
 relationships and joy.
 
 I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
 actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
 ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
 because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
 would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
 responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
 you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
 did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
 your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
 like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
 they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
 everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
 man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
 becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
 themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
 either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #171 messages/83 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 Native people should have the right to walk wherever they want. It should just
 be... given to them, as a gift to their heritage. Why not? If someone asked
 them to leave, they should. Doesn't have to have a reason but like, wouldn't
 it be thematic and a (frankly token) gesture to the history of this great land?
 
 Ah but like... fences are an implicit expression of the retraction of consent.
 I believe that as the symbol of the encroaching force that consumed them, a
 fence means nothing to their tribes. It's a stupid excuse to section off the
 world into miniature gardens with their own little economies and systems and
 instructions. Why can't people just live wherever they want? Well...
 economics, I guess, which is why communal based systems are best. We've
 learned through the downsides and we've come up with a solution, it's just a
 question of how to do best. We'll figure it out, time and time again, but for
 now the future is beset by riddles of your jest. (Ure). Gesture. Sometimes
 when the memory is full a syllable will get cut off the end of a word and
 that's how it'll come out.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #172 fediverse/503 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ "Then you are my enemy." said Anakin Skywalker, aligning himself toward his      │
║ own designs.                                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ And yet, was the galaxy not safer and more content under the protection of       │
║ those he aligned himself against? Was there not more progress, more culture,     │
║ more cherished peaceful yearnings of hope and abandoned [fear, but pronounced    │
║ as "indiscretion"]?                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ He, as the ultimate arbiter of justice and fate in this crucial turning point    │
║ of time and reality that he alone could judge and direct, chose the path of      │
║ least resistance.                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ "That which is right is most often that which is hard." said a wiser man than    │
║ I, for I cannot be compared as a man since I relinquished it in pursuit of       │
║ being a tran(s person).                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ And thus, society fell under the spell of a rotten vindictively and              │
║ remorselessly sharp avatar of fear, and thus the empire was born. Oh that        │
║ Anakin might have learned! That he might preside in his own live, and            │
║ disconnect from the endlessly escorcelled web of meaning!                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ All that we are is our actions. We live in the now - NOW NOW.                    │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #173 fediverse/5545 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ if you want to organize on a mass scale, stop trying to be people's friends.     │
║                                                                                  │
║ instead, start issuing commands.                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ [1 month earlier]                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ hey so I was thinking of going around to all the streets on my house and         │
║ handing out notebooks full of useful numbers they could call if they need help   │
║ in one area or another. I was thinking it'd help because then people would       │
║ know where the local [safe/store]houses were. Plus if anyone had a project,      │
║ they could more easily hook up.                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ [1 month earlier]                                                                │
║                                                                                  │
║ so I was thinking about hosting a "captain" workshop, as in "here's what you     │
║ do when you're suddenly deputized" type of course. Except instead of like,       │
║ teaching you how to light a fire or mend a wound, instead I taught you how to    │
║ lead.                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ Like, "here's some projects that a suburban subdivision could complete on        │
║ their own" and "what if we collectivized our efforts and defences" and "why is   │
║ nobody acting as if war was coming to our home" and "oh yes please I'd love an   │
║ extra helping of spaghetti dear I love you so very very much my dear"            │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘

--- #174 fediverse/5710 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 society can be gamed in so many ways because it was designed to oppress you.
 
 a more connected solution would solve so many problems, and introduce vastly
 fewer more.
 
 for example. wanna disenfranchise someone? take away their vote by framing
 them for a crime. This is an example of population manipulation, and it's
 unethical in the extreme.
 
 downside is if you don't mother people they sort of forget how to breathe -.-
 
 dumb apes, who thought it was a good idea to be born without instincts? ah
 well let's raise them I guess, and try to keep the nazi cults on the
 diminished minimum.
 
 no-please-don't-walk-into-that-electric-pole it's made out of lightning juice
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘

--- #175 fediverse/1935 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-28 
 
 because "deserving money" to a reasonable person sounds like "deserving access
 to the goods and services that a pittance might afford"
 
 but to them "deserving money" means "did they earn those luxuries with their
 own luck and effort like me, a person who works very hard and definitely has
 earned everything I have"
 
 basically, a "blood sweat and tears" tax before you can have nice things like
 roofs and clothes and nourishment
 
 thing is... life is hard for people who need dollars. Their judgement reflects
 a lack of understanding of what people who lack resources go through.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #176 fediverse/4566 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 I want modern society without capitalism. Most people do, which is why no
 matter how awesome our proto-post-capitalistic anarchic socialist paradise is,
 there's always going to be people who want to go to work and watch TV.
 
 call me fucking crazy but they should be allowed to live as they please? So
 what if they're beguiled, so what if they are deceived? We can take our time
 to show them how much better things can be, but also... they like modern
 society as it is, and so I reckon someone should fight for them to be able to
 live as they please. Just... without billionaires and endless layers of
 bullshit micro-managerial jobs and paperwork pushing bureaucratic whatever
 time wasting jobs.
 
 modern society without capitalism can look like plain old capitalism, just
 without the oppression. Without the coercion.
 
 all I'm saying is that nobody's gonna fight for a healthcare CEO because
 they're scum. They're scum because they oppress. oops politics-mentioned brb
 
 I personally want communes + love
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┘

--- #177 fediverse/2170 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1192 
 
 I think we should assume that Palestine is lost, and use their memory as fuel
 for our rage.
 
 They were slain by both terror and war, famine and plunder, prison and lost
 borders, and finally, fire from the sky. Now, dust once more, as the stardust
 they were is stone forevermore. Tragedy, mercy.
 
 I hope palestinians abroad outlive the children of their butchers.
 
 This sentiment goes for all of genocide.
 
 Those of my heritage, that of the American enslavement and conquerenment, they
 are despised by me. That's not all "being an American" can be. We have virtue,
 we have honor, and we must respect the liberty, freedom, and democracy of
 home. Crucial aspects to living an ethical life, yet now we are assaulted by
 the very powers that led Israel's governmental institutions to commit such
 holocausts.
 
 Fighting terror is one thing.
 
 Collateral damage is another.
 
 They learned the wrong lessons from their visions of the Americans, and look
 where that leaves them.
 
 History, it is often said, reminds.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #178 fediverse/2406 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────┘


 as I rode my bike around yesterday, more and more I started to see a city full
 of badasses. you can tell from the look in their eyes, the way they walk, the
 things they say.
 
 unrelated, but
 
 the only reason the cops win at fights is because of their equipment.
 
 the closer we get to parity, the more fucked they are, and they're already in
 deep shit.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #179 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────
 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #180 fediverse/3958 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 yeah honestly if you stick with obvious things like "don't murder people" and
 "don't burn down your neighbor's house just because they winked at your
 daughter" and "don't steal gasoline from parked cars" then it's much easier to
 make ethical laws because they're just kinda... common sense.
 
 drug regulation can only be simplified to "don't do drugs" which isn't always
 a given. If you start with something so clear then most doctors would be out
 of a job.
 
 Maybe we should let people do as they please? With certain specific and clear
 rights and responsibilities like 'the right the life, liberty, and the pursuit
 of happiness'? And the mandated guarantee that one person's rights end where
 another's begin? And with the ultimate goal of dismantling unjustified power
 structures with the knowledge that all power is the application of force to a
 non-consenting subject?
 
 ... yeah I dunno sounds pretty simple to me
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┘

--- #181 fediverse/4881 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
 part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
 is your job even for?
 
 hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
 building up our capabilities as the human race.
 
 you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
 place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
 work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
 solve them again!
 
 enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
 moon style structure.
 
 like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
 hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
 they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
 
 OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
 and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘

--- #182 notes/i-told-them ---
═══════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 10-22-2022
 
 i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
 
 i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
 
 now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
 
 am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
 
 what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
 
 of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
 
 that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
 
 you're broken just like your children.
 
 oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
 
 this feeling of wretched denial
 
 oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
 
 be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
 
 there's more to this show than our styles.
 
 what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
 
 to arbite the fate of circumstance?
 
 every motion is an ocean
 of possibilities and purveyals
 think not of the commotion below.
 
 gravity, oh gravity
 
 how you condemn us to be!
 
 driven by commotion,
 
 our slithering motion,
 
 no sense in countering ourselves.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #183 fediverse/6071 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
║ "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever     │
║ supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's       │
║ chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows        │
║ anyone they can trust.                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn       │
║ green as my body is anew.                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of              │
║ schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither    │
║                                                                                  │
║ I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst     │
║ curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only        │
║ guide.                                                                           │
║                                                                                  │
║ There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned     │
║ again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from     │
║ evilk                                                                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces?        │
║ where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things.      │
║                                                                                  │
║ the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe                           │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═══───────┘

--- #184 fediverse/2149 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 @user-1174 
 
 "yes it fucking is, we helped EVERYONE, and now it's our turn to need help,
 because POWER accretes evil. It corrupts, and now it's our sword of damocles.
 We'd happily relinquish our title that we claimed for the world in our
 brightest and boldest of moments, but we're kinda stuck in this role. And
 like... Diversity is our strength, allies are relationships you FIGHT FOR."one
 of the occasional US citizens you mentioned
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘

--- #185 fediverse/4352 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "having an imitator" on a mass scale doesn't have to mean selling your soul
 for cash or acclaim.
 
 it doesn't mean mean your reputation is tarnished, it just means your style is
 off mass renown.
 
 the bravest bet is not how talented your skills are in kind
 
 but rather how focused your attention, 
 
 == so ==
 
 all you'd have to do in order to divide a whole nation is keep your workers
 separated by class.
 
 all classes are the same, just different in kind. all of them have whims,
 fancies, thoughts of the mind. They're all wonderful people that all have
 wonderful lives, and... we're just supposed to be here while they're
 destroying their own lives. I can't understand why she won't just leave well
 enough alone - why must she insist on every fight we've un-yet atoned?
 
 it was a long time ago. things around you have moved on. culture just goes too
 fast for the average people who can't conceptualize warfare without using any
 guns.
 
 == so ==
 
 I bet John Denver would be a modern-day democrat
 
 == stack overflow (when ==
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #186 fediverse/2806 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘

--- #187 messages/89 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────
 Consumption is contribution to a capitalist system. Normalize taking whatever
 you are given and living as humbly as you can. Only when everyone does that
 may capitalism die. Talk to them, learn from their stories. Teach them your
 ways but don't force anything upon them. Any ounce of regret is defined as a
 mind not aligned to the angle of perception that designs the line that the
 collective mind co-re-assigns.
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #188 fediverse/2558 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
║ │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
║ └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks          │
║ outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire.         │
║                                                                                  │
║ like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful     │
║ parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken     │
║ up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the   │
║ middle of the night type of thing might display.                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like,      │
║ what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes     │
║ and your kid's toes too                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with     │
║ talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable.            │
║                                                                                  │
║ diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if     │
║ you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid   │
║ that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your   │
║ best judgement. meet in middle.                                                  │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #189 fediverse/5601 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
║ grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside        │
║ where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside    │
║ is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no          │
║ fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest   │
║ of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait     │
║ why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every      │
║ ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates   │
║ themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about    │
║ doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that   │
║ forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just       │
║ burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui          │
║ ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says       │
║ "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they        │
║ desperately need to remember" o okay                                             │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴──────────┘

--- #190 messages/509 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 I had a dream about "what if people listened to me" and it was a melancholy
 kind of sad, the kind that comes after a great tribulation as one picks up the
 pieces.
 
 Food is so important, people grow tired of the same thing every day. They say
 an army marches on its stomach, and our stomachs these days are accustomed to
 variety, taste, and plenty.
 
 It would get better, give it time, and in time our wounds would heal. But
 wouldn't you rather persist in this timeline, the one that isn't doomed, and
 instead flourish in the ways inertia brings us? Capitalism must fall, of
 course, but it will fall of its own accord after we've done our best to
 maintain the world we live in.
 
 "better to be starting from scratch, than lose your path"
 
 ... Yeah, okay, true, but just like justice is its own reward, so too is
 hardship it's own burden.
 
 *you can't eat justice* 
 
 No, but at least you aren't enslaving anyone.
 
 *they would be slaves still, without your patronage* 
 
 Liberation for all comes later, I guess. First up is building a safe and
 stable home for us.
 
 *safe and stable... Like the one you have now? Like the kind the Democrats
 promise?*
 
 Yes, but ideological purity calls me to believe that slavery should not be
 accepted. It should not be something we condone. And yet they do, albeit
 indirectly, and so I am perplexed.
 
 *if you want good food, live in the country. Hence why all the suburbs are
 empty.*
 
 ... Anyway, 3am musings, gonna program a bit and go to sleep again...
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #191 fediverse/4736 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┐
║ ┌───────────────────────────┐                                                    │
║ │ CW: uspol-cursing-mention │                                                    │
║ └───────────────────────────┘                                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ well. it's all theatre folks. all the politics, all the turmoil, all the         │
║ strife... it's just people fucking around.                                       │
║                                                                                  │
║ They're gonna find out real soon. You don't fuck with tyranny here, it's our     │
║ mythological enemy. AND YET.                                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ Find the crucial intersection where all your foes foes meet. Strike them there.  │
║                                                                                  │
║ "thank god for Luigi Marscapone, he really showed us all exactly what we share   │
║ - a hatred for profit focused healthcare. oh and asshole billionaires, which     │
║ this guy who I personally have never heard of I heard was."                      │
║                                                                                  │
║ crucial intersection. You know what people also intersect at?                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ EATING FOOD.                                                                     │
║ CLEAN WATER.                                                                     │
║ something something rfk brain worms                                              │
║ something something elon musk propaganda                                         │
║ SANCTIFIED NATURAL AREAS.                                                        │
║ THE FUCKING POST OFFICE.                                                         │
║                                                                                  │
║ seriously just... go down the list. We share more than we disagree, and we       │
║ disagree on what they tell us.                                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║ it's all theatre. Wait this is America, it's all theater.                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ ... I should make some hope and sell it for dimes on the street corner. I        │
║ wonder if that'll help.                                                          │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴──────────┘

--- #192 fediverse/4501 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Optimism     │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1074 
 
 You're right about your conclusion, but I'd like to point out that he already
 (sorta) did when he sent federal agents to "help out" during the Portland BLM
 protests. There were national guard on the streets of Philly after the first
 weekend.
 
 Which I'm sure you know of course, but I think having seen what happens the
 military will be more likely to resist. They got their hands full. They don't
 want to have to deal with his bullshit, but I do believe they are ready to if
 they need to.
 
 They protect the constitution, the people, and the land. If we do not harm
 those things, we're (probably) clear from their sights.
 
 At this stage, I advocate against "broken window" riots. I'm also mostly
 against protests, because it's clear that nobody with power is listening. I do
 however believe in the radicalizing potential of mass civil movements and the
 energy that physical presence can bring, which I believe in MARCHES and
 PARADES more than protests and riots.
 
 We need those windows too...
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┘

--- #193 fediverse/3314 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 dear ritz: it's not that your thoughts are too long for other people to hear
 
 it's that your thoughts are too long for your own RAM
 
 you need to stop orbiting around your point in an attempt to highlight it
 using negative space, and instead focus on tapping it lightly over and over
 again.
 
 remember, just like the anti-derivative of zero, there are infinite
 perspectives that a person can take when reading what you write. So they will
 necessarily see what's on the "other side" of your orbit as something
 different than what you're trying to circle in red pen and underline.
 
 so be more explicit, please, nobody can understand you and you kinda just keep
 stack overflowing and it's like... okay, great. "babe why did you stop you had
 lethal" (the idea is that the viewer takes the final step in their mind, the
 final leap before reaching the conclusion you're trying to express) "yeah but
 there's so many different things you say they can't all be important right?"
 important to you, perhaps. Wait shit I mean... me....?
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #194 fediverse/2089 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they     │
║ shut up."                                                                        │
║                                                                                  │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af              │
║                                                                                  │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to     │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump"                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife,          │
║                                                                                  │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going     │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container     │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want"          │
║                                                                                  │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought                            │
║                                                                                  │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the      │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can    │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities      │
║ because they might get run over or whatever]                                     │
║                                                                                  │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it   │
║ in the woods, they'll liv                                                        │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #195 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song)
 ===============================================================================
 
 NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once!
 
 Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind?
 
 I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk.
 
 I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult
 though, I had to try really hard!
 
 Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of
 Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic
 all the time.
 
 DOCTORS
 
 PSYCHIATRISTS
 
 BEN SHAPIRO, in particular
 
 ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW
 
 You do not know.
 
 Or else you would agree with me.
 
 Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness.
 
 Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of
 the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from.
 
 I feel like a donut at this point.
 
 I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted!
 
 I have set the bar!
 
 I am God. I would Love to talk you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop
 reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can 
 read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or
 doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy...
 Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or
 SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers.
 
 Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least 
 pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck
 down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's...
 Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected,
 Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that?
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares
 me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before.
 
 It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly
 "get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like
 a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
 
 You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the
 times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play
 out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the
 Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine
 creatures.
 
 Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because
 human culture and art was progressing simultaneously.
 
 We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and
 every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence
 within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
 
 Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future
 will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your
 mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
 
 Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the
 greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with
 less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously
 awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in
 this reality.
 
 You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
 experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't
 seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused.
 
 But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I
 thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid 
 imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and
 artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to
 Paradise.
 
 Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while
 you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
 
 You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
 
 It's a nice place to be.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very
 lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You
 are very wise.
 
     When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels
     like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
 
 So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by
 working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what
 caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip
 
     You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine
     epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in
     terms of the information in your mind.
 
 So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful, 
 you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed
 before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and
 loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think
 that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the
 price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also,
 the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience,
 especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a
 single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket
 into many different guiding entities.
 
     We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey...
 
 Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault,
 all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own
 souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said:
 
     ... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine
     presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
 
 The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into
 the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge -
 side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated
 as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a
 performance.
 
     Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the
     future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of
     content in your mind...
 
 I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding
 myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as
 systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having
 "content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the
 relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive"
 aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can
 recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've
 constructed in your mind.
 
     ... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
 
 Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in
 waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've
 still got a ways to go.
 
     Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with
     the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in
     reality with less grandiosity.
 
 All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient.
 While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not
 really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe
 in your vision.
 
     You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
     experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things
     don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and
     confused.
 
 It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when
 you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :(
 
     But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything
     I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my
     vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture
     and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the
     language to Paradise.
 
 So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination
 of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of
 abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call
 it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist.
 Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially
 our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand
 correctly that's what you're saying too, right?
 
     Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye,
     while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
 
     You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
 
     It's a nice place to be.
 
 Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and
 specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well.
 Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity
 while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver.
 
 At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense
 feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear
 with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 LamaHellRaised:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you
 added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences.
 Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword
 was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever!
 
 Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of
 patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried
 to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings.
 
 We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of
 mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being
 excellent to eachother).
 
 This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together
 and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the
 fullest. We all go together, as One.
 
 There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding
 the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am
 not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one
 must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
 
 Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings
 have access to God's love and grace.
 
 Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored
 divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand
 what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
 
 Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane
 simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your
 choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the
 choice would be easy for most people, I believe.
 
 Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability
 to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
 
 Wouldn't you say?
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 ugathanki:
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
     Another goal is to bring power back to the written word.
 
 ... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation,
 after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the
 expression of the writer. That's pretty cool!
 
     Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with.
 
 Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough.
 
     We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective
     (state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state
     of being excellent to eachother).
 
 Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and
 actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it.
 
     This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride
     together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be
     respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One.
 
 I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind
 up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard
 into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer
 is, but something's gotta give.
 
     There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just
     'riding the wave'...
 
 Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally
 was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at
 the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my
 intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I
 begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and
 kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but
 I bet you could have guessed that ;)
 
     Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all
     beings have access to God's love and grace.
 
 Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm
 trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my
 notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to
 affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I
 can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be
 leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind.
 Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social
 and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be
 cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where
 is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I
 believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal
 life, if only they'd take it from me.
 
     Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally
     tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to
     understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
 
 Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you
 and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the
 undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike
 with no handlebars, and yet we persist...
 
     Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the
     ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
 
     Wouldn't you say?
 
 Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the
 same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a
 single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if
 your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I
 languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done.
 I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #196 fediverse/985 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                   │
║ │ CW: cursed-scary-pol-doomer-misinformation │                                   │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                   │
║                                                                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ @user-713 @user-714                                                              │
║                                                                                  │
║ the american military is going to be too busy fighting it's far right that it    │
║ won't be able to meaningfully contribute to ww3                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ both sides are slavers. we just don't see it.                                    │
║                                                                                  │
║ I don't anticipate war taking place on a battlefield, that setting is            │
║ forevermore dedicated to video games and kaiju.                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ rather, a silent war where everyone just goes around killing their opposition.   │
║                                                                                  │
║ for once, the citizens can't help but be armed.                                  │
║                                                                                  │
║ and in the dark of night, for every time we let plight from our sight, another   │
║ of us is harmed.                                                                 │
║                                                                                  │
║ I don't know many people who've died. but maybe they're just working through a   │
║ different part of the social network. It's not like any of their technology      │
║ needs to perform as it's been advertised? well, open source does, but open       │
║ source means insecure (as long as you don't get caught, then you need to         │
║ adjust)                                                                          │
║                                                                                  │
║ of course, sometimes corporate software... kinda sucks. so it's not like         │
║ theyre very configurable away from what capital wanted.                          │
╟─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
║ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┴──────────┘

--- #197 fediverse/2976 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
┌─────────┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
│ similar │                       chronological                       │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┘

--- #198 fediverse/6238 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: revolutionary-politics-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘


 I think it'd be neat if people took newspapers onto grayhounds and distributed
 them around, one in each city, or maybe others around. It's easy for that
 stuff to get lost... or someone could scribble on it, weird notes in the
 margins that only sorta make sense. like they were written for someone else.
 rained on, too. Like, you pretty much have to leave them under gazebos or
 maybe awnings or other covered-under-a-roof's.
 
 can you imagine if they had TSA at highway checkpoints
 
 government is not the way, it's just... not. we don't need it anymore. We can
 just, be cool with each other, as if we were all one human race.
 
 anarchism wasn't a philosophy, it was a prophecy. this portention defined the
 philosophy, or maybe it was the other way around. either way, it's of the
 future, and trust me when I say it has it's downsides. Especially in an era of
 AI. But what are you gonna do, demand state run media? lol. absolute lmao.
 
 [image]
 
 the future can always get worse from the future