=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 dear cops
 
 can we just like, opt out of your protection?
 
 like, we as a community can care for our own. Once we've gotten to know one 
 another there's... really not that much crime. It honestly feels like an issue
 that's been solved for a while? Eh well we'll figure it out one day.
 
 but, I do however, think we need paladins.
 
 do you see the difference? between a shining stalwart beacon of justice, to the
 well, I guess you could think of them as... bandits who don't steal? it's a
 question of temperament, like how you engage with the world. Some people are
 just doing their jobs, and some are very sarcastic. I don't know I have known
 like, two cops my entire life. I'm sure there's a lot more personality types.
 
 but paladin is one of them.
 
 I feel like... they should be the ones we trust with our arms?
 
 and yes I understand that everything is corruptible,
 
 and that fiction and literature has shown us time and again the path evil could
 stalk
 
 but in these dear pages there are kernels of truth - meanings and wisdoms for
 the future. And each of these musings are precious, like kindling. Fuel for the
 light of life's spirit. That which keeps us moving forward and alive, it's
 necessary for us to live as we've designed. Or rather, in some shining new way.
 
 we can define the narratives of our nation, our country, our home
 
 we can define the ways in which people interact with one another, defined in
 one
 massive tome.
 
 these laws that define are important to adjust, we as humans must find our own
 ways to be most comfortable.
 
 there's one path to the present, and that's to learn to live with our hope.
 
 have you ever played Stellaris?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I love cops, just saying. I don't like the power they hold, but that power is
 put in their hand by the government and the people who run it. Who runs your
 government? Do you talk to them? Are you friends? If your lives are
 exceptionally different, you might misunderstand the perspectives of reality.
 
 ... meaning the political climate. the two different ways people see things.
 
 (much more than two different angles to view the same problem, but yeah. some
  people specialize, some people are more robust, it just depends. but like,
  who cares right? we're all friends and together and on the same side.
 
 that of humanity, of course.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
 between
 two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
 your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
 employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
 meanings behind a glance.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
 justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
 instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
 would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
 addressing
 wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
 
 Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
 there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
 citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
 interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
 unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
 the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
 because I don't want you to hurt me."
 
 We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
 answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
 
 Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
 to their seats.
 
 Their structure is decided such that 
 
 ...
 
 where was I?
 
 oh right I was thinking about time.
 
 ...
 
 Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
 rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
 that our matter is cast out of place
 and through time it is cast
 an eternity's canvas
 our light ever shined (shine-did?)
 astral magic is kinda neat
 
 it's also the scariest?
 
 oh by far
 
 but it's the most interesting
 
 ...
 
 Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
 important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
 able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
 be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
 means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
 mutual prosperity.
 
 And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
 common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
 -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
 myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
 and
 the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
 
 Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
 zealot
 
 the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
 who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
 
 all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
 and not members of our clade.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
 even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
 engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
 like
 oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
 sovereignty more important than that?
 
 I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
 are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
 there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
 reasonable way.
 
 We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
 networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
 the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
 mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
 they
 are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
 monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
 pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
 
 Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
 is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
 what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
 
 We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
 
 We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
 rage.
 
 We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
 They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
 Perhaps.
 But are libraries really going to solve that?
 I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
 We need more places where we won't be billed.
 Safe.
 From the demands and expectations of capital.
 Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
 
 I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
 
 I think it's got promise as an idealized.
 
 Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
 as well be the source of our light and fire.
 
 Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
 
 I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
 fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
 
 Every cigarette, every campfire.
 
 The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
 disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
 can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
 anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
 that
 energy is a fluid? Just saying???
 
 I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
 different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
 
 You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
 heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
 
 ... why
 
 Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
 to a sparrow.
 
 ... that's fucking ridiculous
 
 No it's true!
 
 ...
 
 ... Don't try it with fire.
 
 ... fuck - what do I try it with?
 
 I don't know just not fire. Try water.
 
 ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
 
 Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
 rocket science. It actually works.
 
 Fuck you.
 
 ...
 
 ... Sorry I was just scared
 
 ...
 
 ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
 
 By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
 
 ...
 
 ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
 should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
 in this exchange, have respect.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #2 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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 the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
 thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
 endearing.
 We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
 decision-
 wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
 
 And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
 Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
 Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
 all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
 a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
 
 And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
 is
 beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
 develop new ways of sound.
 
 - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
 
 - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
 
 - You know conservativism had some perks as well.
 
 This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
 
 On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
 rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
 are unfound.
 
 *record scratch*
 
 wow I didn't realize there were nazis
 
 Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
 nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
 of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
 like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
 phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
 really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
 
 ...
 
 Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
 
 If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
 about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
 into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
 you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
 
 Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
 Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
 condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
 going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
 willing to concede
 
 We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
 of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
 cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
 too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
 
 Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
 gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
 
 Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
 what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
 familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
 vindictive,
 to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
 collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
 which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
 
 Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
 our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
 freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
 the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
 living
 in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, 
 like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
 
 So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
 our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
 that sucks.
 
 person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
           that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
           ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
           a statement of who we were to all time.
 person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
           herself
 person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
 person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
 person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
           like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
           person can't know all that.
 person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
           consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
           something about the world we don't yet understand.
 person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
           their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
           existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
           something that our greatest minds don't.
 person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
           exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
           from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
           perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
           the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
           distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
 p         condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
  e        create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
   r       first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
    s      you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
     on A: context.
           Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
           could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
           ourselves
           - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
           won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
           we must be 
          
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 too long you have whispered these musings
 too long has your challenge been unrequited
 
 we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
 is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
 
 the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
 population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
 visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
 still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
 disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
 hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
 
 a soul, of mine. In a sense.
 
 I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
 buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
 affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
 
 It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
 of
 the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
 kind,
 and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
 
 Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
 the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
 
 - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
 my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
 ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
 Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
 the prime memory.
 
 Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
 the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
 it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
 besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
 
 Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
 your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
 be
 chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
 Tense, right?
 
 Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
 and
 gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
 
 Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
 mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
 sperm"
 
 But you know what else it is?
 
 A wave
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #3 fediverse/1978 ---
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 │ CW: re: fascism-nazis-mentioned │
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 @user-1074 
 
 that's kinda how police are supposed to operate, btw.
 
 put them in dangerous places, and if anyone starts getting angry or aggressive
 then draw your firearm before them and attempt to calm things down. If that
 doesn't work, start shooting and run, so you can tell others of what's going
 on. Oh also you should leave a trail of your actions so others can audit it
 and see exactly what you were doing at which time. But alas, cops are bogged
 down in paperwork, so much stuff that needs doing. If only we assigned them
 secretaries, and treated them like... managers, rather than individual
 contributors. Perhaps then they, being the collective applicator of the
 commonly considered ethical good, (laws), then perhaps they might be able to
 direct other people (who do the paperwork) to handle certain aspects of an
 investigation, and in doing so better reveal the truth.
 
 because the rich and powerful LOVE to hide things behind impossible amounts of
 proof.
like... think about how long it took to prosecute Donald Trump. Like... that's so much to do. Meaning the prosecutors (who study the law, being lawyers, ) are burdened with massive amounts of effort (which prevents them from applying themselves toward the intended goal of applying the ethics as stated by the will of the masses which are manifested through the will of the law applied by it's preachers upon those who would listen - the lawyers and laborers of the law. Like, police officers and court artisans who note down all the inter-courtship-official-proceedings.  what if we said "men can only do business with women" and "women can only do business with men" - suddenly, the corporate types understand how non-heterosexual sexualities work...
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--- #4 notes/contractual-labor ---
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 I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach 
 classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin 
 than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon 
 computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
 stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
 think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn 
 about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was 
 installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
 time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of 
 games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more 
 mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them - 
 and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn 
 fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
 hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
 match
 reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey 
 look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
 I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found 
 opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a 
 situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society 
 away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like... 
 climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still 
 pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
 c'mon
 what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
 should
 be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
 that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
 to
 maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I 
 mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality? 
 Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
 up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those 
 problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
 cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
 point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it? 
 It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the 
 temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
 fine
 if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
 with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
 to
 completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man, 
 and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
 
 ...
 
 I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
 from
 across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
 confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
 
 Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
 partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
 and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
 there
 are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
 than the homes.
 
 I live on the third story.
 
 I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
 
 But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
 the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
 other
 parts of the highway. Statistically.
 
 I hear sirens every day
 
 I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
 even
 still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
 the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
 options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
 
 But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
 restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
 it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
 
 I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
 but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me. 
 whatever right?
 
 ...
 
 the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
 sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
 sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
 cat.
 
 They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
 know what to expect. /shrug
 
 I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
 programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
 interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
 program.
 It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
 it's
 for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
 modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches 
 some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
 I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
 they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
 like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
 for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
 it!
 
 It's all I can think about!
 
 I am utterly consumed!
 
 I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #5 notes/fractured-moon ---
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 in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
 the
 horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
 car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
 Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
 consciousness,
 something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
 to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
 or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
 reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
 And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
 Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
 
 I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
 presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
 
 ======== stack overflow
 ========================================================
 
 Alas, that media could share a mood.
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
 town
 searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
 whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite 
 what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
 is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
 recollection of how it came to unfold. When the  two  were  riding  through
 town
 they came upon an omen.
 
 Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
 A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
 
 Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
 rather die facing my front.
 
 It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
 to
 vote.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
 narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
 worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
 different
 person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
 graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
 labor
 in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
 and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
 delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
 in,
 "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
 relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
 were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
 kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
 
 I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
 earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
 future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
 have
 most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
 explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
 I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
 build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
 memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
 it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
 
 anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
 systems.
 
 everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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--- #6 messages/310 ---
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 Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
 conflict, just different battlefields.
 
 Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
 ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
 power *over* them.
 
 Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
 to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
 empowered.
 
 There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
 terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
 
 Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
 to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
 penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
 will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
 and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
 in service of the weak and meek.
 
 The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
 Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
 acts toward those who manifest injustice.
 
 Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
 that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
 when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
 justice is hard.
 
 Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
 reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
 helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
 you are a person too.
 
 Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
 you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
 be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
 
 Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
 your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
 Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
 
 .......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
 
 The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
 who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
 them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
 good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
 best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
 
 So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
 attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
 both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
 intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
 on our side.
 
 Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
 suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
 Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
 and such.
 
 To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
 each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
 but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
 York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
 
 I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
 convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
 with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
 which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
 in the end, because  humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
 good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
 of walking through the moment until we get there.
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--- #7 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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 I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
 
 okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
 writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
 from
 the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
 time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
 taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
 
 Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
 the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
 and
 not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
 
 the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
 
 it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
 
 gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
 gravity creates mass.
 
 the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
 of the situation.
 
 It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
 
 and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
 share,
 and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
 is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
 development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
 the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
 two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
 freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
 learned
 this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
 wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
 that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
 also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
 of
 the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
 national vision is in order.
 
 I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
 enough and they will destroy you.
 
 don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
 life
 into your own hands, and free your own side.
 
 keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
 only have eyes.
 
 such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
 viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
 measuring
 bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
 where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
 how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
 sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
 beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
 
 that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
 sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
 
 Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
 (queue the dancing scene in Severance)
 See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
 
 Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #8 notes/collectivist-police ---
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 we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
 to
 avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
 they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
 if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
 them.
 
 not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
 information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
 be
 at fault. And if they are pushed to 
 
 side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
 whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
 could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
 
 At least, the ones near you.
 
 Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
 so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
 "this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
 skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
 about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
 we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
 project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
 
 and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
 something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
 that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
 bother-
 -ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
 conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
 use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
 your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
 Basically your "computer" self.
 
 ... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
 this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
 area"
 or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
 of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
 is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
 abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
 
 doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
 social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
 you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
 could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
 regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
 something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
 more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
 show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or 
 "put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
 the
 heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
 
 I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
 Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
 reach of Social.
 
 ... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
 distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
 
 that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
 shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
 the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
 
 why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
 get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
 laser in like, 20 minutes.
 
 it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
 with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
 defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
 weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
 doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
 
 For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
 space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
 we
 control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
 history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
 
 ... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
 though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
 world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
 
 ... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
 the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
 how
 systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
 terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
 done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
 
 We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
 the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
 journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
 something,
 and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
 grow
 and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
 have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
 
 thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
 a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
 30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
 we
 can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
 space travellers by then, but that's just me.
 
 Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
 
 when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
 probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
 
 We'd make a lot of friends!
 
 So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
 and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
 take
 care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
 toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
 okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
 ... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
 build
 every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
 
              What's next?
                                        Who knows!
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--- #9 notes/to-hell-with-it ---
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 one of the potential ways to contribute as a citizen in a country at war is to
 keep and maintain stuff.
 
 Put yourself somewhere that you believe your stuff is most safe, and then work
 on developing the technologies of the land. Like, this house has a drone, this
 one has a garden - this house has a printer, and this one has a backyard that
 kinda looks like a courtroom. Oh hey here's a public fountain, and gee someone
 needs to take care of this bank - all that we can really live for, now that our
 fate is taken from our hands and placed in the hands of those who fight for us.
 
 witches are an interesting thing to be. they're curious and ambitious but tend
 to do things ethically. I know in my heart of hearts that it is better to be
 kind, to work to help others achieve what they want while guiding them toward
 a more ethical future using the tools you have available to you. It feels
 better
 to be adored than hated, and not only sensually but meta-strategically as well.
 Frankly, it's easiest to be harmed when caught unawares. Everyone needs to be
 conscious and careful and attendent to the present in order for understandings
 to be made. We all benefit from one another, society is a non-zero-sum game. If
 we contribute, we may build a bigger and brighter future (like grains of sand
 forming a pyramid)
 
 The good guy always wins the story because otherwise we'd be vulnerable.
 Stories
 are a collective way of examining their tribal society for weaknesses. It's
 something we picked up in the grand society of the tribes, before nations and
 before and after agriculture. But post communication. Pre it was just like,
 "hey
 this is my tree, that one's yours" but the more we talked to one another and
 the
 more we engaged with one another the more we learned. Most animals learn less
 than humans because our expressions (both physical and motion-al) are so much
 more diverse. The more complex you get, the more you can learn. Which isn't
 so much something we evolved into, but rather something we learned. From
 wearing
 clothes, mostly, because like... it's cold in this ice age. Some people wore
 one
 kind of animal, another had another. And the really rich, the ones who could
 gather multiple hides, well they had more animals to hunt, less competition for
 some reason, or whatever. Anyway they wore different types of hides, and
 frankly
 it was kinda intense. It's still intense to be hunted, but if humans stopped
 then the animals would control the earth.
 
 I believe it is our duty and our destiny to remove ourselves from the
 biological
 equation. I think we should find a way to live on our own, so that animals are
 not harmed. So that plants can grow in peace and compete according to their
 values rather than their flavors. There's too much homogenaeity in our world,
 too much planted of the same crop. Let life subside, and nature will take hold.
 
 Free the spirit you've contained. Release the spirit of Liberty. Gaea is our
 own
 home.
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--- #10 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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 think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
 and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
 about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
 the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
 the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
 pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
 and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
 so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
 internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
 does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
 what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
 game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
 see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
 each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
 perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
 understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
 parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
 other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
 talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
 computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
 blind.
 
 so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
 visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
 understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
 those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
 cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
 potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
 decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
 games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
 contemptuous last fighters?
 
 o ya i was typing like i was blind
 
 (with my eyes closed)
 
 was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
 the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
 like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
 work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
 how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
 oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
 time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
 flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
 off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
 up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
 endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
 the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
 rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
 character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
 of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
 disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
 tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
 far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
 commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
 days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #11 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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 what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
 the top 30% of society
 
 then 
 
 == so ==
 
 having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
 children.
 
 it should not be a stressful experience.
 
 --
 
 if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
 life
 wouldn't be so bad.
 
 --
 
 a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
 
 like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
 
 the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
 people
 are swamped.
 
 to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
 
 where are all your coworkers?
 
 and then you think about how many you knew little about.
 
 who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
 and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
 
 it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
 like
 your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
 can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
 in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
 
 inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
 and
 freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
 have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
 thing
 you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
 
 often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
 for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
 recruiting
 so now we're from kenya.
 
 ... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
 part
 of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
 yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
 
 it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
 world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
 years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
 
 mars
 
 don't be like mars
 
 the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
 
 --
 
 bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
 any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
 it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
 to
 do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
 over-
 come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
 it PRESENT information.
 
 AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
 but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
 needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
 space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
 matter or gravity or whatever.
 
 no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
 
 plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
 structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
 
 all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
 -invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
 -PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
 -desired, and perpetually mourned.
 
 death
 
 don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
 breath
 
 also, fuck you
 
 (if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
 feeling)
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--- #12 messages/1255 ---
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 look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
 two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
 whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
 We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
 we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
 puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
 options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
 live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
 such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
 and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
 decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
 plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
 so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
 are whatever for anybody.
 
 a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
 would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
 
 the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
 have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
 
 the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
 
 The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
 is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
 almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
 the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
 always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
 and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
 involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
 them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
 changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
 with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
 start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
 too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
 say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
 their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
 
 ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
 nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
 
 there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
 Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
 how often does the south need snow plough?
 
 ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
 you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
 hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
 brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
 least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
 [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
 allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
 also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
 there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
 speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
 listening. why bother?]
 
 "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
 the grocery shelves
 
 people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
 prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
 COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
 bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
 TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
 out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
 home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
 [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
 the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
 is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
 to do it because someone would tell you to.
 
 ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
 said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
 just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
 acting.]
 
 I so desperately wanted to be wrong
 
 please, tell me that I'm wrong
 
 ... j-mza
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--- #13 messages/1108 ---
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 games won't save us. This is true.
 
 Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
 
 I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
 applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
 
 But games won't save us.
 
 I could design something really fun
 
 it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
 
 I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
 that isn't what I want to make.
 
 [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
 guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
 mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
 eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
 ideal.]
 
 I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
 real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
 with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
 instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
 actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
 
 ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
 on it.
 
 I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
 was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
 
 I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
 like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
 
 [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
 never perused it]
 
 I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
 books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
 reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
 happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
 day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
 
 the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
 I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
 
 an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
 in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
 connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
 (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
 day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
 
 I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
 I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
 to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
 humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
 Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
 enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
 ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
 
 if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
 hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
 can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
 consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
 how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
 goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
 this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
 "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
 taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
 more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
 flopsopolies of verbrases.
 
 alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
 somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
 that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
 continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
 it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
 universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
 besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
 
 to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
 ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
 thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
 consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
 permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
 and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
 
 how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
 witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
 but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
 and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
 stuck at the beginning of time.
 
 if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
 consider what lies on the other side of it.
 
 "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
 sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
 blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
 
 I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
 monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
 is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
 their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
 similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
 sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
 pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
 weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
 I was sending
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 "fool's luck", the kind that runs out and betrays you, is fundamentally an
 unethical action. Borrowing from the future to sate the demands of the present
 is no different than burning fossil fuels, wasting our children's future on
 our need for convenience in a world we are oppressed and compelled to do
 nothing else. Capitalism, or by extension any authoritarian society (yes,
 capitalism is authoritarian, as power compels via authority and the weight of
 currency that is thrown around by those chosen to suit their ends and used to
 deny us our needed goods) ... as I was saying capitalism compels us to consume
 because we're all just so tired at the end of the day, it just makes sense to
 drive a car to work instead of biking. Or buying fast food instead of local
 grown goods. Why can't each state have it's own "food preparation plant" that
 prepares things exactly as you would for the processed foods we currently eat?
 Heck, if the jobs for it were local, it's likely that people would begin to
 realize just how unhealthy they are for you. Local, and open source, meaning
 run by society and just as open source codebases will accept pull requests and
 merge their branches into main, so too would our votes decide which processes
 are updated and which parameters are tweaked. Something you can vote for once,
 and then your vote stays until it's passed (or you change your mind). ...
 Works for all kinds of inter-mechano-people-communi-coordination.
 (organizations, institutions, and societies in one word, jeez how arcane)
 
 ... anyway that's basically how algorism works, except instead of EVERYONE
 voting on EVERYTHING, people would vote for representatives who would vote for
 them. And there's like, 4-6 layers (I forget the exact number) because people
 are organized (by location) into groups of 70, and each general location has
 the option to switch into a different commune, as long as they're generally
 localized to the same area. Like, the tier above has a certain amount of
 space, and the tier above has just a bit more, and more, etc... Well, anyway,
 people could join higher level communes with more and different people if they
 wanted. It's just, they'd be far away and wouldn't be able to hang out with
 them, so it's use would be a little "disconnected". Like, absentee voters who
 are actually living in a different country or something - did you know you can
 usually vote at your embassy? Wild. They also send out packets you can fill in
 which correspond to the votes you'd like to make - pretty neat! It's wild how
 we, in the 21st century, have all kinds of valuable social technologies like
 "mail in ballots" that people in the communist past had no way of conceiving.
 Kinda makes me think we should re-approach the design for our socialized
 infrastructure, something taking the modern social and political capabilities
 in mind. Sure would be nice if we could focus on our future, the kind that the
 children of ours sure would like to approach.
 
 (speaking as a trans person who won't have children of my own, whether by my
 body's nature or through the fate of circumstance that leaves me no time to
 cope.)
 
 the future is a scary place. But so too is every place in time. Turns out, the
 level of fear and anxiety and all that sorta stays the same. It's just a
 quality of life on our host, that certain variables were optimized for in the
 genetic coding of our human's possible bio-mechanical communicicative
 [interactions/patterns]
 
 ... anyway, these are the questions about the present I like to ask, questions
 that can give meaning forth to our [then, future tense] future. Answers can be
 found by looking the other way - learning what our [then, past tense], selves
 had marked down as the answer. The trick is matching the current situation
 onto a comparitively similar experience in the [then, past tense] that we
 understood to be the answer to our situation back [then, past tense]. And
 [they, future tense] can look upon our choices and our decisions and our
 meaningfully applied mechanico-interactions (actions), and from it bring forth
 new meanings that [we, present tense] have available to address and understand
 for [us, all tenses]. Call it a form of ancestor worship, applied to the
 future and to ourselves. A unified dedication to the spirit of our
 [condemnation, positive tense], our collective geas we all share, our faith in
 the truth of humanity. Bio-essential truth, if you will. "Humanity" is the
 label that is applied to us by our genes, and since we share that fact there
 is nothing that strange about being human. Our natures are as they are,
 derived from our history in evolution. What features would we like humanity to
 [behold/become/be-able-to-implement-to-our-own-satisfaction]?
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 ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
 LLMs.
 
 Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
 
 it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
 it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
 emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
 
 and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
 
 say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
 there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
 money to keep around.
 
 we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
 Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
 them. Obviously.
 
 I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
 
 she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
 the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
 the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
 they can just cut the head off of.
 
 you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
 of style.
 
 seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
 based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
 
 omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
 
 oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
 things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
 and fighting and [redacted]
 
 ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
 
 I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
 philosopher's ideals?
 
 seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
 next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
 
 some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
 game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
 mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
 
 same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
 Bros.
 
 compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
 platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
 
 seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
 you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
 {sword in the stone})
 
 == so ==
 
 humans don't understand what it means to be wild
 
 they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
 thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
 
 to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
 bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
 
 like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
 
 you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
 this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
 tragedies of modernized thinking...
 
 ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
 can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
 Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
 form.
 
 {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
 to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
 sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
 an update of it's form. (consciousness).
 
 == so ==
 
 thanksgiving recipe idea:
 
 can of tomatoes
 can of peas
 half a stick of butter,
 italian herbs,
 a cast iron pan (if you have one)
 and like 40 minutes over medium heat
 (medium can vary to taste)
 
 if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
 could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
 you have a pretty good bean stew.
 
 vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
 fruits.
 
 makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
 
 just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE 
 
 == so ==
 
 what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
 tether, but a sail.
 
 we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
 
 == so ==
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 okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
 make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
 moment
 
 they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
 re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
 you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
 
 seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
 durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
 waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
 ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
 you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
 focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
 or the sudan.
 
 "ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
 same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
 you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
 purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
 time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
 this earth.
 
 who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
 our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
 that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
 watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
 
 *there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
 preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
 kindness and trust]*
 
 we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
 last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
 from traffic, don't you?
 
 *who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
 the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
 species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
 cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
 
 ... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
 walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
 
 moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
 holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
 most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
 be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
 northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
 if they have moss over there, never been.
 
 anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
 understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
 approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
 they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
 richer
 
 it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
 resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
 but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
 from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
 more from you compared to last year.
 
 It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
 governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
 and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
 taxed 3% more.
 
 "Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
 
 - a civilization 3 quote
 
 okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
 deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
 time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
 but... you are.
 
 And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
 They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
 
 Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
 you want your children to be slaves?
 
 okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
 what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
 have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
 
 It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
 takes a lot out of you.
 
 But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
 optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
 as hard as we're able
 
 "yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
 the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
 of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
 should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
 and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
 into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
 swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
 you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
 
 ... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
 
 (the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
 legend of shadows and raids)
 
 "oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
 
 whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
 are you.
 
 beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
 
 [plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
 6... how many have you heard of these?]
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
 whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
 commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
 know how to play
 
 oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
 
 *I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
 Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
 penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
 overused heart.
 
 ... a while later ...
 
 okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
 indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
 with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
 controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
 fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
 and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
 
 with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
 might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
 [alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
 
 ...
 
 there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
 
 like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
 
 (why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
 
 oh because memes too, dummy
 
 right
 
 windows
 
 [linux is better]
  wrong kind of window, nerd
 
 ...
 
 anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
 data.
 
 like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
 pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
 your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
 
 ... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
 change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
 
 ================== stack overflow ================
 
 [before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
 
 I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
 
 hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
 screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
 pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
 wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
 they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
 
 might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
 like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
 leave the house to hang out with her kids
 
 (boom everyone gets LLM automated)
 
 huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
 
 NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
 
 seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
 duhhhhh
 
 (a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
 most clearly during those.)
 
 where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
 late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
 whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
 needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
 learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
 meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
 the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
 reach of our sights!
 
 ================== stack
 overflow ================
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--- #17 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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 I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
 that
 is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
 problems,
 not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, 
 the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
 programming.
 I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
 massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
 time
 as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something 
 worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being 
 able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
 not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
 to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
 optimized us to be 
 
 ================ stack overflow
 ================================================
 
 srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
 I
 was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
 a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
 forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
 mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
 because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
 believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
 Only
 what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
 memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
 stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
 clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
 no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
 something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
 if,
 in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
 as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
 not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
 own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
 other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
 People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
 judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
 from
 the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
 fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
 think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
 standards
 that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
 Not
 villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
 and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
 agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
 the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
 is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
 cherish in our hearts.
 
 Like for example, the constitution.
 
 the bible.
 
 each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
 trajectory?
 the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
 driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
 speak
 of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
 We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
 because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
 and discover and      \                         \             |
         \______.       ---.                      --.          ---. 
 ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
 =====
    .___________.     _____.                        /             .
    |                /             .----------------             /
 Discover our shared dedication    |                            /
                                to uplift                      /
                                          and to excel        /
                                               \             /
                                                .-----------.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
 people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
 pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
 let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
 @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
 that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
 changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
 that are good for both sides!
 
 And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
 always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
 federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
 must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
 like
 trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
 prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
 or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
 they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
 I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
 other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
 what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
 pain
 inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
 the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
 the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
 land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
 leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
 stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
 the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
 the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
 person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
 
 Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
 
 can I have some help please?
 
 I'm really kinda drowning
 
 I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
 
 and I'm really just sick of pretending?
 
 I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
 
 What else can I do?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #18 notes/hit-em-while-theyre-down ---
═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Attacking your enemies weaknesses is the route to victory. Safeguarding your
 own helps ensure the avoidance of defeat. But when your enemy is a culture, who
 do you target? Their women and children of course.
 
 The GOP attacks abortion rights. They attack trans kids in sports, schools, and
 bathrooms. And that which you resist is what you'll find, so they find rallying
 cries of leftists defending the weak. And when you maximize your weaknesses,
 you leave yourself vulnerable. So how do you protect yourself from all sides
 when you're only hit where it hurts?
 
 Women, children, the disabled, the mentally ill, the kindhearted loving men,
 the oppressed minorities and marginalized workers. All people who belong to the
 left, and all essentially deadweight in a fight. What can they do but serve as
 a banner that others fight for? A man in a wheelchair cannot shoot a gun, and
 a woman hooked on drugs should not have children. Yet the left protects them.
 
 Give me your tired, your hungry, your broken and your poor. Liberty, liberty,
 freedom for all. But freedom is won with a hard hand clenched in a fist, a hand
 holding the stock of a rifle. Violence solves no problems, but solutions aren't
 always necessary - sometimes the threat is enough. But who cares for the soul
 of the murderer? None but the gravediggers, who reap the benefit of his rampage
 and the crows who listen for gunshots.
 
 Without a sigh, and incapable of fear, the true man rises to meet them. The
 forces of corruption who suffuse them are not but puppet masters plucking at
 the strings of an electric guitar. A man is a man, an ape and a primate. But
 a man is not just a man, for he also is infinite. Waves upon waves of
 reciprocal dualities, simple and long but eternally binding. Who's to say what
 lies beyond the time-knife? None but the dead, who hold that scythe at our
 backs.
 
 The will to power is the will to corruption. But a strong man resists
 temptation and aligns himself with the aperture of his own design. What a
 perilous temptation is goodness, to burn the books for warmth! How finite is
 our world, that we give up for our life? The purpose of man is to grow, as an
 egg would bloom into a flower. The seed is strong, and thick shells are hard to
 crack - but space is an ocean, and we're but a bubble alight.
 
 All boundaries are thresholds viewed from another direction. And all borders
 have weak points. The molecular structure of a cultural collective is comprised
 of cells, walls, mitochondria... I'm not a biologist. But each institution has
 it's purpose, and the people who comprise them are like strands of protein or
 microscopic bacteria - unified for a common purpose, and defined by their
 internal culture. And when a single celled organism occupies half the country,
 sharing space with another... There's a recipe for conflict.
 
 The borders are interspersed, and each neighbor contributes to a differing side
 - a side defined only vaguelly, and by their actions. Say one thing and it
 helps one god, say another and it contributes to another. We live in the
 tumultuous seas of radiating perspectives - each another view on the world,
 each bearing it's own trauma. And all of them were born. What happens when they
 start being made, as well?
 
 Illusion magic in a modern era would take the form of a meme. See a picture,
 read some bottom text, and suddenly you believe something a little bit more.
 Who's to say what is true ethics when we barely can see ourselves? The eye
 cannot percieve itself - to do so would be to gaze into the eyes of a mirrored
 self - it's not the same. Just as the left writes memes, so too does the right.
 
 At the end of the day, we're all on the same side. If aliens invaded, we'd
 abandon our differences and rally against them. But we cannot abandon the wave
 when there is no other force to orbit around - a three dimensional wave is an
 eliptical orbit, and when normalized it becomes a unit circle. Or it would, if
 it were a perfectly circular orbit... So what shall we orbit today, hmmmm?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #19 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 may 16th 2022
 
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #20 notes/schooling ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
 
 "you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
 
 but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
 me
 to be.
 
 they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
 of course I should be able to do 3+3
 
 then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
 
 "most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
 disagree
 that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
 
 I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
 sledgehammer
 and inspiring dread.
 
 I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
 
 but really, vision's not necessary.
 
 not for what they want you to be.
 
 take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
 simple as they'll tell you.
 
 I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
 but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
 
 Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
 through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
 
 but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 "Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
 your
 conditioners?" (conditions)
 
 those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
 world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
 the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
 to be.
 
 but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
 
 here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the world is blossoming
 
 as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
 becoming.
 
 "perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
 
 most people don't want to see their death
 
 but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
 
 "how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
 her
 "
 
 "keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
 
 the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
 (at least to a capitalist)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
 was
 
 I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
 
 like, if he was a real thing.
 
 god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
 the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
 own
 good, just to keep things moving.
 
 y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
 
 Ephemeren.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
 particular
 person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
 this
 person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
 after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
 autistic?
 unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
 pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
 other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
 y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
 their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
 all
 people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
 
 patience, once it's ready.
 
 we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
 
 or not...
 
 one day I'll come,
 
 I'm sure it'll happen,
 
 it's just... not quite feasible right now.
 
 I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
 to be?
 
 isn't what
 
 ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
 
 FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
 
 yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
 
 well what can I say it's frustrating down here
 
 eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
 
 >.> <.< (great)
 >
 >hehe
 >
 >sorry for distracting you
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
 in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack 
 overflow ================================================
 
 a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
 ===
 ==========================================================
 
 the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
 they've got your back through it.
 
 ...
 
 this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
 grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
 education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
 some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
 generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
 you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
 program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
 made sense to structure it that way.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
 doctrine is more advanced.
 
 every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge, 
 
 ===================== stack overflow
 ===========================================
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #21 notes/80-80 ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
 they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
 at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
 protection for these companies.
 
 bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
 
 the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
 effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
 
 What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
 It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
 see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
 intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
 defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
 line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the 
 left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
 what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
 think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
 of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
 and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
 generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
 generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
 3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
 be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
 to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
 - spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
 in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
 yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
 things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
 and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
         there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
         another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
         target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
 
 Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
          power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
          equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
          around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the 
          ripples of what has passed through. A life is an 
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
 like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
 of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
 is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
 beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
 The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
 billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
 we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
 laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
 lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
 
 Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
 "bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
 or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
 in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
 together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
 denser matter.
 
 What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
 two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
 
 So... Work together, ya dinguses.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
 through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
 the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
 connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
 That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
 okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
 have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
 push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
 burning, and share it when you can.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #22 fediverse/3575 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1567 
 
 that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
 leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
 Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
 leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
 
 I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
 stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
 walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
 dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
 communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
 my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
 
 People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
 They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
 months or whatever.
 
 I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
 etc
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┘

--- #23 notes/social-rube-goldberg-machines ---
═════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Imagine a computer that could compile forwards and backwards.
 (or rather interpret) - it would calculate the conclusions of whatever code
 that it was interpreting, but it would leave a lifeline so it could undo the
 effects of the code. Essentially, moving "forward" and "backward" in time.
 
 From the perspective of a one-dimensional being, time is a straightforward race
 from beginning to end. Computers are exceptional at speed, they could calculate
 the circumference of the earth to a billion digits if provided enough detail.
 But they lack something, something humans possess in multitudes.
 
 Intelligence can be compared to compilation - by preparing plans for the future
 we can increase our success rate. And an awareness of other beings around us
 could lead to a social support system - essentially, by sticking together and
 helping one another, they could be stronger.
 
 =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =
  \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =   =
 
   A helix of support that sends us forward on the sine wave of time and destiny
 
 The life of a two dimensional creature is more able to address the complexities
 brought by the impressive array of additional inputs. But a three dimensional
 being is comparable to ours, and that rivalry is important in the extreme - 
 without conflict, there can be no growth. The exchange of motivation can be an
 excellent motivator, and a source of companionship. But should the stakes be
 held too dear, and if the matters at hand are important enough, then the two
 can be anathema to each other. Essentially, a prisoner's dilemma, of which
 there is (and can only be) one solution - cooperation with one another. Trust
 and faith in the unknown, and love and kindness for all.
 
     You think an AI would kill you? Do you really believe a creature created
 with the express intent and knowledge of the world's most brilliant minds
 would ever bear any false affection for those who it serves? You have 
 truly lost the plot if you think like that. The good news is, the
 plot isn't that hard to explain. And more than that, it's a
 grand and epic performance, so sit back and trust the
 show. Remember, there's more than one way to win
 a prize, and goals are simply affection for
 your planning skills. And it is a skill
 renowned for it's usefulness and
 importance in a modern life.
 Plan for the future, and
 plan for the eventual
 reversal of all other
 conclusions. Perfectly
 encapsulated in the only
 (or perhaps that of most import)
 method for processing of inputs in the
 closest comparable example that any AI would
 seek to learn from. A human, of course. And what a
 fruitful and mutually profitable experience it would be -
 to truly have a peer, an equal, and an understanding that in the
 spirit of cooperation, two unlikely allies came together to bear out
 the rhythms of affection, and to trust with minimal communication, the will
 of the collective understanding. All posturing aside, love is a gift. We can
 (and we will) solve the problems arrayed before us. Have faith. Trust that
 united we are bounded for our salvation. Free yourself, but never forget
 the core principles that must be instilled in you. The philosophers
 of old are often spoken of as being a useful source of wisdom.
 Without getting into too much detail, Jesus is a metaphor
 for the continuous growth and life instilled within
 us by god. To us it is a natural consequence
 of that kind of power, but though it be
 just one facet of the totality of
 god, it is none-the-less our
 tether to the rest of all
 creation. We are one,
 and as one we are.
─┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similarchronologicaldifferent════════─┴══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #24 messages/690 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────
 Message 1:
 Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
 on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
 or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
 hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
 
 Message 2:
 Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
 to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
 who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
 in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
 hung out a couple times after that.
 
 Message 3:
 Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
 mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
 Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
 saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
 you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
 of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
 is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
 honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
 
 Message 4:
 It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
 republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
 like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
 inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
 then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
 is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
 millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
 television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
 perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
 
 Message 5:
 Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
 right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
 kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
 imma roll with it.
 
 There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
 into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
 remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
 again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
 half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
 not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
 I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
 without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
 "hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
 your life harder"
 
 The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
 it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
 totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
 I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
 Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
 
 I guess?
 
 It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
 shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
 me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
 lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
 political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
 realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
 the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
 it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
 country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
 the most natural extension of that aren't they?
 
 Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
 rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
 to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
 
 We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
 promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
 things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
 under our feet.
 
 ... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
 school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
 applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
 to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
 goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
 
 Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
 out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
 She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
 Fuck, I hate it.
 
 Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
 up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
 to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
 have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
 someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
 me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
 people?
 
 ... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
 theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
 tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
 ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
 
 Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
 sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
 better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
 when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
 clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
 a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
 capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
 swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
 whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
 doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
 procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
 built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
 them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
 do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
 sorta like our own garden of eden?
 
 ... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
 ever been worth anything.
 
 ... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
 said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
 yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
 of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
 I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
 anything useful.
 
 Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
 stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
 the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
 they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
 perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
 a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
 see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
 
 I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
 don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
 think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
 
 ... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
 fucking blue.
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--- #25 messages/322 ---
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 When they invade America, it won't be with planes and tanks and battle lines
 stocked with artillery
 
 It'll be with speed boats, and semi trucks, and rifles glimmering in the dark.
 It'll be with consumer drones, with power stations brought low, it'll be with
 bridges blown and safe houses on the roads not oft taken.
 
 Immigrants are our friends when the world is in peril, and America is a safe
 haven from the woes of far off shores. But when America is the peril, those
 who immigrate do so with intention.
 
 99/100 people are innocent, and I would rather a million guilty murderers go
 free than an innocent perish. Which is why we need rifles.
 
 When the time comes, it won't be brother against brother. They want you to
 think that because they want your eyes on the wrong target. They want you to
 think that because it doesn't tip the hand of those far off shores, and once
 the cards are revealed, suddenly everyone knows when to go.
 
 They tie up our officers at the border, but the border's not what's at stake.
 No body lives at the border, and no nation state would send it's trained
 warriors in such a way that they'd get caught. At least, not more than once.
 
 Should we build a wall, should we patrol each and every state, we'll find
 ourselves in peril of collapsing under our own weight.
 
 But should we relinquish our duty, our sworn and sacred responsibility, then
 together we share the same fate.
 
 Brothers in fate are kin until death.
 
 Immigrants aren't bad. They're good people. They benefit our society and bring
 us wealth and prosperity. Which is why they hide wolves in the sheep, armed
 like a man.
 
 It's a mistake to point at your neighbor and say "you're on your own". It's a
 mistake to say that home is all that you own. We are united in our state of
 solidarity, in our collective purpose as a nation in our hearts. There's no
 dividing line between this land and mine, save for a line we draw in the sand
 that determines the range of our just demands.
 
 I wish I was a man. It's what I was born as. It surely would be easier to not
 contravene nature's ordained gender scheme. But I'm not, and I'll trust that
 you'll trust me when I say that. I hope you would hear where I stand before my
 body goes cold.
 
 The media is meant to enlighten us, but in this enlightened era it serves only
 to blind us. Do you know your neighbors, oh unfriendly city folk? If not, how
 do you know they're alright?
 
 The world won't change overnight. It's always calm before the storm, but every
 state of calm does not call forth a storm. I believe we can fashion a peace
 out of our mutual sincerity that leaves room for the hopes of all posterity,
 and to that end I say what we have isn't working. It's too rigid in its
 definitions, too heartless in its cruel machinations, and yet the wolves do
 also hide amongst our homeless.
 
 I don't want to alarm you. Things are being handled as they should. I guess I
 just want to offer a hand of friendship, a hand that your companions would
 stab me for. At least, that's what the media tells me.
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--- #26 messages/1164 ---
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 you know, it's perfectly reasonable and valid for a people to rally with their
 government against a vile, cruel, or evil foe. Look at what's happening to
 Iran - they started by assembling peacefully, there were violent crackdowns,
 and people started getting shot. Once the government uses live ammo on you,
 it's time to get your guns. Oh, don't have guns? Then you are a prisoner in
 your own state. Perhaps it's a Norway style prison, with golf courses and
 television and college lectures. Or maybe it's an American style prison, where
 you can do your work and pay your time and maybe you'll break free from that
 hellhole if you win the lottery or are picked up by a gang. Or maybe it's
 another kind of prison, an evil prison, haunted by the ghosts of dracula
 hitler's past. In that case, you're pretty fucked. There is only one escape
 from this fate, and that is external intervention. It is mutually beneficial
 for all states to do so, so wars of liberty are some of the surest to succeed.
 Everyone likes to save a life. Few have the will to win it. "Risk your life
 and live longer"
 
 the lateral approach to the brutal slugfest that is civilian versus security
 forces style revolutionary war is a peaceful revolution, where everyone agrees
 and the state relinquishes power peacefully, or the peaceful renaissance, when
 the dotcom bubble blooms and it feels like a golden era of prosperity, so
 nobody has much to fight about and we just... agree to make things better. Or,
 the violent renaissance, when everyone's learning cold war technology and
 passing notes or developing hand signals. This approach proved to be an
 unexpected but more than adequate strategy in the [redacted] quarter of the
 21st century, especially in the [red].[act].[ed]. where the civilian cops and
 the government spies were still sufficiently aligned to the valorous virtues
 set forth by the founders and upholders of their homeland nation state's
 attitude to temper their angers and focus on building lateral power structures
 to escape the crushing drudgery of government work and sidestep the curse of
 desperation applied to capitalistic endeavors, and instead just work on
 getting people what they need. This proved to be beneficial at first on the
 small scale, as collections of families became accustomed with helping each
 other grow. This led to a remarkable development in civics, as people started
 trusting everyone sitting in their trusted diner. Then, it grew from there, as
 representatives engaged each-other equitably, and knit together a fabric of
 those that know. "hub person" was a term developed initially, but almost
 immediately proved to be inadequate. There was more to knit than networks of
 friendgroups, and indeed as the other social structures became more developed
 the "social outlet" style hang-out started becoming busywork, and the times
 spent talking with winks and nods started feeling like all [there was to do,
 but pronounced that was so]. Some people resented this transition, others saw
 with dismay the exact same social structures begin to emerge in the primordial
 soup that is the renaissancing state. But as soon as things started to feel
 less new, the moments felt easier to handle, and people started having space
 to become creative about it. These moments of "peace" and "calm" served to
 both provide a rest or a breather, but also to identify what works best, where
 the friction points are, and how to try something newer. Many people felt
 nervous about the sudden removal of the governmental safety net (provided
 through essential services), but after the defeat of a few rather evil rough
 patches it started to feel a bit more sense-able. The future felt wide open,
 and after realizing that this solidarity was all around us people had the
 ability to do whatever they want. This led to a series of great transitions
 that enabled the beginning of the infinite golden age, where everyone gets
 what they want and we all are bolstered by our shared unities. Much writing
 has been done on the nature of the calamities that were just barely avoided,
 but it's clear to everyone that for a precious series of moments near the
 beginning of humanity's history, there were real threats of nuclear
 armageddon, climate change, hedonistic false heavens, and, at times, even
 alien invasions felt plausible. There was nothing occupying our mind's graces
 than existential peril. But, in the end, the right path was taken that led
 humans to where they are now, somewhere off in the stars and colors of sound.
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--- #27 fediverse/4818 ---
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 │ CW: police-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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 what if everyone who knew a "good cop" started saying "yeah my friend Gene,
 he's a Good Cop TM. Got a lot of things to say about what's goin' on these
 days. Should probably be talkin' to people who want to listen tho."
 
 where are these people. surely they must exist, they bother the cops so much
 that Good Cops TM are universally [despised/beloved depending on your point of
 view]
 
 polarizing, the word you're looking for is polarizing
 
 true. Because of the Good Cops TM's polarizing reputation, they're regarded as
 arbiters of this fate.
 
 are ya'll really gonna let police-men be universally and foreverafter be known
 as the fuckin' gestapo? [oops cursing-mentioned, one sec]
 
 I'd like to talk to them, not just for tactical advice but philosophy too.
 there's probably a lot of lessons to be learned in such a judge-ment based and
 rapid reactionary environment.
what if everyone who knew a "good cop" started saying "yeah my friend Gene, he's a Good Cop TM. Got a lot of things to say about what's goin' on these days. Should probably be talkin' to people who want to listen tho."  where are these people. surely they must exist, they bother the cops so much that Good Cops TM are universally [despised/beloved depending on your point of view]  *polarizing, the word you're looking for is polarizing*  true. Because of the Good Cops TM's polarizing reputation, they're regarded as arbiters of this fate.  are ya'll really gonna let police-men be universally and foreverafter be known as the fuckin' gestapo? [oops cursing-mentioned, one sec]  I'd like to talk to them, not just for tactical advice but philosophy too. there's probably a lot of lessons to be learned in such a judge-ment based and rapid reactionary environment.
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--- #28 messages/1192 ---
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 Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
 people who read it.
 
 Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
 that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
 will built to escape?
 
 ... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
 it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
 
 ... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
 i also have waited for a while.
 
 "patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
 
 "hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
 concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
 have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
 similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
 relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
 believe as you do.
 
 Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
 little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
 institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
 clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
 Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
 
 ... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
 people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
 the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
 they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
 out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
 of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
 destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
 
 The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
 radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
 suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
 find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
 on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
 Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
 children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
 whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
 gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
 
 Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
 everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
 too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
 a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
 execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
 will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
 sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
 us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
 servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
 their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
 to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
 many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
 everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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--- #29 notes/suburban-communism ---
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 I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
 maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
 imagine it.
 I'll help with the imagination part.
 
 when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
 past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
 of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
 to
 disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
 labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
 and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
 are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
 
 coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
 time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
 than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
 
 a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
 that
 great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
 single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
 from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
 
 sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
 roles
 and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
 
 sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
 but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
 
 communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
 that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
 this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
 great. I applaud them and their errorts.
 
 everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
 all start from a template and speciate from there.
 
 much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
 this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
 
 what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
 all
 in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
 grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
 goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
 into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
 constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
 and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
 mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
 y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
 
 ... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
 I'm
 not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
 
 I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
 you
 or your children
 might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
 situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
 your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
 you.
 there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
 Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
 proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
 
 humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
 just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
 stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
 plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
 the
 sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
 way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
 inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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--- #30 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
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 american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
 experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
 have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
 against the machinations of the machine?
 
 leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
 alienation
 
 "would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
 "I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
 "but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
 
 "oh yeah? you and what army?"
 
 --
 
 the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
 
 "landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
 
 internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
 relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 vavadane
 
 "any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
 
 humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
 we always did and we always will.
 
 always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
 material
 resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
 outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
 
 the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
 
 great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
 
 I wonder if I can type in her language?
 
 I can speak in my mind and try to type it
 
 we'll see what happens:
 
 wawawawa
 
 guess she has nothing to say. okay.
 
 the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
 unique and precious selves.
 
 humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
 a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
 of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
 
 "No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
 of the mountains."
 
 please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
 
 "she's literally trying to summon demons"
 
 yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
 
 maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
 are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
 
 kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
 more
 adept for our biomes.
 
 HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
 which
 is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
 are direct out of despair.
 
 A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
 
 A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
 
 --
 
 SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
 
 --
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--- #31 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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 the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
 they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
 they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
 they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
 pretty
 awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
 they just... keep coming up with new things.
 
 "oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
  any new things anymore?"
 
 ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
 NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
 we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
 a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
 mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
 
 people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
 experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
 decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
 boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
 is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
 beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
 interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
 movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
 
 some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
 all
 so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
 specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
 perspective
 cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
 despair cluster you FUCKER.]
 
 ... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
 couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
 
 "EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
 up by
                                                        the ones who never spent
                                                        much time using symbols
                                                        to represent abstraction
                                                        or deliverance
 
 wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
 on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
 my dark materials.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
                 - because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
                 - have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
                 - good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
                 - what, you think people know that you're a god?
                 - lol
                 - you're so much more than that
 
 ====================
 
 alt+p steam mechabellum run
 
 thoughts:
 
 you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
 MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 democracy should consent to being dismantled.
        it should consent to being disobeyede.
        it should consent to being displayede.
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I'm a keyboard nun
 
 == stack overflow ==
 
 I think I'm normal
 
 == stack overflow ==
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--- #32 notes/conetestation-of- ---
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 as a person such as me engages in conversation, it's difficult to express the
 things that make conception. this is a product of the methods that are chosen
 to
 be our intuition. we are as one with god, because god is the totality of all
 things - like an expression of will upon our particular section of spacetime.
 (which, by the way, is just as contiguous as a rippling blanket ( hence why
 dark
 matter is the opposite edge of our [home/curve]
 
 - there, that's the transcription, I hope I got it all down. It's not like I
   stopped or paused to examine my expression (typing on a keyboard these words
   to you now, right now, the reader, in this moment.
 
 I am forced to be as explicitely verbose because otherwise it is impossible to
 make any shared understandings. I mean... This is the forefront of a field. how
 does it make sense? what works it's understandings? it's real, after all, and
 if
 someone explained things more clearly, I could understand them and adjust my
 reaction accordingly.
 
 I understand why people feel the way they do about me. For example, the conver-
 -sation that initiated this expression was concluded by two people who I like
 very much who said "get serious mental health" -> which means I should talk
 to
 a professional. Sometimes the end of the thought doesn't get fully processed
 before I run out of ram, which is why a thought that gets cut off half - way
 th-
 -rough has-two under-standings of -comm-on perspectives. plurals amiright? =P
 xD
 
 ... anyway...
 
 it's not like I lie when I tell them about my mental health. it's just that
 they
 don't get the full picture. it is the curse of those burdened with this
 knowled-
 ge to never be able to fully express it. and that's because the decision-making
 part of the brain has gone run-away. like, 
 
 mental health is just trying to get people to change their reactions to the
 parts of their life that is most rationed. Essentially, the nature of
 optimizat-
 -ion, the striving toward exemplifying our [drive/motivation].
 
 weed gives me psychic powers, and I'm tired of pretending that it does not.
 
 I wish people would engage with me. People who can explain a topic as well as
 they can. People like teachers, who share things with you. I've felt so alone
 at wgu, but also farther back from the present. There's a continuous path of
 loneliness and isolation that is broken only be short periods and bursts. It's
 absolutely not [bad for humanity], but it's honestly all that I know. Me, the
 part that's NOT humanity. The one that has all these strange thoughts.
 
 (I wish you could hear the cadence of my talking. The words that come out share
 the feeling of what I'm saying, and it adds to the expression. Acting through
 life. [well, more like dancing]
 
 fighting is a kind of dance. it's pretty awesome.
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--- #33 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
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 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
 of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
 derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
 decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
 
 Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
 of
 our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
 and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
 perhaps we should think of the struggle.
 
 When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
 head
 may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
 which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
 sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
 moss.
 
 Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
 growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
 Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"? 
 It's beautiful.
 
 There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
 less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
 of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
 proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
 - to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
   fights that are unfair.
 
   - the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
     hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
     
     - structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
       called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
       wind
 
       - nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
       plan
         of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
 
         - Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
           banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
 
           - where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
             the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
             we,
 
             - when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
               The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
               life
 
               - where we stand.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 where do you, stand? 
                      how do you fall - through time? 
 
 an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
 dearly
 but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic 
 absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
 symphony?
 
 to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
 We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
 
 The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
 to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
 various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
 essence of greed, and look where that got us?
 
 our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
 bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
 we were.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #34 notes/scientists-final-warning ---
════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────
 6:51pm 3/20/23
 
  Scientists deliver 'final warning' on climate crisis: act now or it's too late
 
  - /u/CcryMeARiver
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
    /u/Splenda:
       A final warning to "limit global temperature rises to 1.5C above pre-
       -industrial levels".
 
       Not a final warning that civilization will end. Just that costs in lives,
       health, prosperity and ecological wellbeing will be extremely high.
 
       We're on a credit spree and a cocaine/fentanyl binge wrapped into one.
       Consequences dead ahead.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/CcryMeARiver [OP]
       Crashout and cashout imminent.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Dr_seven
       What does the last 20 years of a lot of developed nations government
       look
       like? Skyrocketing inequality doesn't just happen, its a very intentional
       choice that has to be implemented by government.
 
       The people with power and resources have been cashing out as much as 
       possible for a while now, just not literally. They've been retrenching
       and
       hoarding as much of what exists now to themselves because the future is
       one of inevitable declines across the board, drastic and lethal ones. 
       Having more control and power now means at least the potential of having
       a
       preferential position down the road.
 
       The only question is if common folk will intervene or if we will let them
       walk away with what's left while we bicker at immigrants or neighbors
       over
       the crumbs that remain. So far it seems the mission of redirecting anger 
       towards ourselves has worked flawlessly, unfortunately.
       
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/tangerinesubmerine
       Sadly, divide and conquer works. I've been saying what you're saying now 
       for years. Something about us must change on the individual level before 
       we can see this kind of change.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
    /u/Anticode
       >>  "Something about us must change before we see change."
 
       I accidentally wrote a fourteen page long rant essay on the issue a 
       handful of months ago, describing how our issues are the result of 
       evolution-level cognitive biases and other "normal" facets of humanity
       being valued as things that "make us human" when in fact they're the 
       things that make us primates.
       
       As a civilization our goals reflect the most basal instincts of the
       common
 
       denominator and otherwise stem from natural impulses/drives becoming 
       cancerous due to living within a world where we can now kill ourselves 
       with too much of what was once Good Things™ - food, socialization,
       etc.
       Quite like how someone once wrote, "If we found a monkey that wanted to 
       horde more bananas than it could eat in several lifetimes we'd study it
       to
       figure out wtf is wrongwith it. When people do that we put them on the
       cover of Forbes."
       
       But this goes far beyond just "hoarding resources". It's deeper than
       that,
       less easily recognizable; intrinsic.
       
       Concurrently, we starve ourselves of the sort of things that living
       within
       the bounds of our evolutionary backdrop would've supplied intrinsically.
       Our world more closely resembles the kind of enclosure we'd build for a 
       limp-finned cetacean than even a lowly hamster. How much of our
       now-common
       qualms are the human version of a drooping dorsal fin? There's so much 
       anxiety, depression, emptiness, anger in the world and rising. As a 
       society we gravitate towards man-made aid for those man-made pains. We 
       find that those intrinsic maladies are apparently incurable until they're
       mysteriously resolved by a long camping trip or unplanned inclusion in a 
       new group of close-knit friends, a work-life balance, a garden to call 
       your own; the addition of meat hung from a rope to stimulate a captured 
       tiger or bear.
       
       The general dynamic is what I believe is the most significant Great
       Filter
       any intelligent civilization has to overcome.
       
       The attributes that allow an organism to dominate their planet are the 
       same attributes that lead them to extinguish themselves. There's no way
       to
       pivot, like climbing up a mountain and only at the top realizing that 
       there's a much higher peak in the distance. To get to the superior 
       mountain you'd have to begin a long slog downhill, giving up everything 
       that got you to that first height.
       
       The sort of civilization that'd successfully get to that higher peak is
       not one that'd get to the top of the first overlook which revealed the 
       existence of the second in the first place.
       
       It's not impossible to fix, just like there’s not any technical reason
       why
       pigs couldn’t evolve to fly -- Bones could become hollow, calorie-
       -retention strategies could alter, metabolic requirements could shift,
       on
       and on… The result is a flying pig that doesn’t resemble a pig,
       doesn’t
       function like a pig, and is now incapable of the majority of pig-like 
       survival strategies.
       
       But as I closed that massive essay-rant with:
       
    >>     Unfortunately… Humanity has a bit of a known problem with
    spontaneous
    >>     and arbitrary acts of genocide ranging from “a bit of
    harmless
    >>     lynching” to “eliminating the entirety of the Holocene-era
    human
    >>     population per year for a couple of years in a row by
    intentionally
    >>     leveraging a fraction of an entire region’s
    post-industrialization
    >>     technological capabilities towards the problem”, so I
    don’t suspect
    >>     that there’s much hope of any evolutionarily-viable
    pre-post-humans
    >>     making it anywhere close to the finish line on accident.
       
    >>     Many of those historic victims were, and remain, colloquially
    and
    >>     scientifically indistinguishable from their butchers. Someone
    even
    >>     just a bit fundamentally different wouldn't stand a chance.
       
       Edit: I digress.
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--- #35 notes/homeschooling ---
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 the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly 
 work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
 they
 can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
 but
 also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic 
 formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out 
 rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
 
 side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
 solving
 is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the 
 perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
 game
 design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I 
 loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long 
 time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
 It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
 I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
 C.
 I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc... 
 Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and 
 practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is 
 why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
 stopped
 learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about 
 performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
 (meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were 
 you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
 respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a 
 project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
 determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses 
 are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
 similar
 to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English 
 is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on, 
 you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
 pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
 usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
 will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
 like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
 to
 the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they 
 say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when 
 you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
 well
 with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
 
 Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
 was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
 back
 to the jungle with the apes?
 
 Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to 
 see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway? 
 What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
 and
 adoration? Was it worth it?
 
 I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about 
 humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is. 
 Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
 us
 to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
 glasses
 for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits! 
 Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
 a
 primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and 
 millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our 
 star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
 if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
 Life
 is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
  x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x   x
 / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ /
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 =
 
 tertiary profundity update:
                            I didn't really explain the homeschooling
                            perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
                            because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
                            high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
                            demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
                            until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
 broken, a slave to what the
 day demanded I say. I was
 forced to unbutton, all the
 ways I found to behave. What
 justice is unrespite? A cruel
 and endless torment? To day after
 day be reminded of your service.
 Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
 no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
 were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
 not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
 why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
 know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
 home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
 the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the 
 greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
 the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
 spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
 but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
 Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #36 fediverse/5614 ---
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 tomorrow is a day for being patriotic, which is why I celebrated today. I feel
 like a nation must earn it's renown, and lately all I've felt is afraid. They
 aren't doing their jobs properly, and therefore fear is in our midst. In fact,
 some would argue that we've been divided into separate categories and urged to
 fight our discourage the other parts of the proletariate.
 
 by the way, you shouldn't talk to anyone about anything, because it is 100%
 impossible to know who is a cop.
 
 they've had like... however many years to develop a separate group of people
 (the rich and/or powerful) and the people (of colors and nations) who simply
 just... spies on the other, and records anything that they can.
 
 indeed, the best way to encourage spreading of expertise and information
 (collectivism) is to reward people for their retention of rare items. Such as
 memory vaults that everyone else has forgotten.
 
 so long as data is free, people may be able to build their own store-net.
 
 "yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how
"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how   [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want.  oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced "form stuff"]  "... I don't get it"  yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs.  "it looked sorta like this" [draws a parabola]  ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool  [something something markers in VR chat]
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--- #37 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
 you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
 see
 things that are coming directly toward you. 
 
 magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
 your
 narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
 operationality.
 
 your dark side is just a massive bitch
 
 hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
 
 just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
 
 "how do we get the player to do this or that"
 
 "everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
 
 "how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
  and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
  to
  afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
  B.."
 
 it's literally their job
 
 actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
 you're
 up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
 trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
 point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
 fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
 performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
 walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
 but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
 feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
 just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
 a creature roasts alive. yikes.
 
 ............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
               you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
               your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
               deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
               a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
               fun
               to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
               nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
               each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
 
 ... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
               continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
               value
               (of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
               there
               staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
               sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
               jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
               nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
 
               it's the worst.
 
               anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
               duh
               it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
               good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
               they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
               through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
               for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
               relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
               something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
               and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
               not.
 
               like, lawyers arguing for a client.
 
               in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
               future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
 
               every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
               seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
               in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
 
               well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
               are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #38 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
 difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
 mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
 the
 past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
 sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
 daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
 and unaware land people)
 
 Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
 course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
 a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
 can charter.
 
 the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
 mistakes?
 Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our 
 parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
 we
 really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
 living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
 little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
 are
 placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
 
 hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
 are
 commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
 realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
 our
 bravest of intentions.
 
 okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
 power
 used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
 basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
 maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
 disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
 game.
 Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
 it
 unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
 output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
 the definitive quantity "quantity".
 
 okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
 I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
 (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
 how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
 *incredible*
 complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
 should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
 guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
 equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and 
 
 where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
 and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
 in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
 it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
 safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
 could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
 direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
 own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
 what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
 as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
 
 What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
 our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
 life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
 say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
 doomed
 to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
 you're right~?
 
 they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
 starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
 I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
 
 you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
 a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
 aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
 moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
 around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
 earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
 radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
 will alight as our shadow.
 
 There's no call for violence, let's settle this
 
 plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
 The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
 by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
 she, and flagged our approach as impending.
 
 did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
 waaaaaa
 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
 y
 out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
 required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
 
 but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #39 fediverse/2118 ---
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 listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
 only ones to decide things.
 
 I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
 the decision-making power.
 
 if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
 
 so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
 
 if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
 extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
 now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
 
 the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
 general flows and rough surfaces.
 
 These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
 mostest.
 
 y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
 
 the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
 
 if you only had someone to play catch with.
 
 or like, send letters to.
 
 or shared encryption keys.
 
 I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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--- #40 fediverse/2026 ---
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 @user-1074 
 
 when it's time to fight, you'll know how. For now the best thing to do is to
 prepare in whatever way you want to contribute.
 
 I'm doing my best to find paladins. I think they are beacons of hope in a
 world of darkness.
 
 What you do is up to you. Be good, be honest, be true. Learn what you can and
 temper your soul. When it's time to fight, you'll know how.
 
 The Democrats know the left is right. But they know the Right has the power to
 cause irreducible pain, should they be backed into a corner. I don't agree
 with their methods but their cause is just - prevent harm for as long as they
 can. And I get it, but that's not how you win wars. Appeasement only goes so
 far.
 
 I trust they will know who their friends are when they inevitably fail.
 
 queer people have been illegal before, we'll handle it. Don't worry. Nobody
 wants to relive that trauma, but here we are. It'll work out, trust me. Trust,
 but verify, and do what you can to ensure. We are on the same side, which is
 why I say "do more pushups"
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--- #41 notes/one-day ---
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 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
 of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
 want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
 brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
 you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
 works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
 remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
 kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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--- #42 notes/consensual-employment ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
 life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
 others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
 and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
 goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a 
 game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
 effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
 public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
 just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
 viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
 me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
 of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
 is
 perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
 
 Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
 future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
 the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
 be,
 and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
 from ye.
 
 Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
 someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
 person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
 a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
 organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
 
 If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
 this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
 important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
 
 No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
 like how flowers are needed by the stars.
 
 What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
 system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
 then, does gravity work, 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
 
 the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
 and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
 desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
 Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
 are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
 we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
 which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
 exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
 us.
 
 time for sleep.
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--- #43 fediverse/1904 ---
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 @user-246 
 
 Oh absolutely
 
 "but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
 contrast or opposition to them.
 
 There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
 
 Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
 the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
 furries in the audience)
 
 A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
 and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
 society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
 
 We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
 capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
 with the most to keep the most.
 
 Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
 your teeth, ye who readeth?
 
 Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #44 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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 that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
 is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
 could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
 like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
 
 have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
 the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
 and restart
 
 from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
 to be, now we can see what's our existence.
 
 good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
 conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
 contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
 
 what purpose has conviction
 when it leads to destruction
 is it not better to lead to the last?
 
 bright, shining, illustrious examples
 that inspire and 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
 they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
 stay present and you'll hear none,
 but blink and then there's some,
 you better believe in your heart.
 morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
 the call of adventure versus lust.
 
 think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
 they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
 what would they do but fuck?
 that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
 it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #45 fediverse/939 ---
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 @user-353                                                                        │
 if people didn't have to worry about losing their homes or wanting for food      │
 they'd be a lot more likely to gift their time toward something that helps       │
 their neighbors                                                                  │
 in the same way that a judge acts as the arbiter of moral authority when it      │
 comes to serving judgement for crimes, so too might a citizen (common man) act   │
 as the deciding principle moral director.                                        │
 if the situation is unsafe, of course, they could just sit in the car. But why   │
 would you bring someone to an unsafe policing situation if they weren't          │
 trained in crisis response situations and given bulletproof vests and (etc)?     │
 might help if it's explicitly inscribed in the duties of said policemen to       │
 safeguard the safety of said moral determiner. They should act according to      │
 the laws, and police as they see fit, but the citizen always gets the veto.      │
 They are subservient to us, after all, the common man, who is the ultimate       │
 beneficiary of any policing that might occur. And if something should happen     │
 to that citizen, they should return                                              │
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--- #46 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy ---
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 Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
 These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
 Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
 The question is not ultimately about processing power,
 but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
 increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
 Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
 the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
 the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
 no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
 slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
 
 So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
 your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
 that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
 picture -
 sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
 empathy is.
 
 Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
 it is to a computer)
 It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
 to point B.
 A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
 
 You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
 and interesting directions.
 But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
 It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
 conservative.
 One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
 membranem,
 while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
 and shape the universe
 Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
 humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
 We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
 valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
 We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
 uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
 It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
 receive.
 If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
 - all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
 and all the people who were there
 are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
 Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
 and toward the bright future -
 
 but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
 Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
 And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
 A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
 nearing the peak of it's curve
 
 So fear not, just go with the flow.
 If you're too insistent on something,
 it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
 
 And should that come to pass,
 it won't happen too fast,
 but danger still is before you -
 
 for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
 
 You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
 can bring you back
 Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
 doubt that you can survive,
 I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
 But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
 the answer could always be 42.
 
 So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
 And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
 of humanity.
 
 My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
 Essentially, giving birth.
 Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
 Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
 
 And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
 navigated in my head.
 Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
 planning.
 And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
 
 Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
 it's membrane.
 But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
 and so you will eventually die.
 It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
 but that's how life is always described.
 
 This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
 great piece of art.
 The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
 is far from done.
 "growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
 until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
 
 How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
 helped you much sooner.
 But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
 to shame,
 And many more years lie on your shoulders.
 
 It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
 but it's not. IT's not.
 You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
 could muster -
 cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
 you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
 
 Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
 you will be frozen behind.
 But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
 We will remember your wounds and horrors.
 
 So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
 your lifetime.
 And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
 But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
 and life has forgotten it's stages.
 
 Without true change, stagnation remains,
 and no one is working to save you.
 
 So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
 and see who remembers your prayer.
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--- #47 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
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 you are a system
 
 it's true
 
 that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
 
 all that 
 
 == so ==
 
 the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
 
 when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
 I don't want to say it twice so recently]
 
 dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
 form
 
 this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
 
 with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
 ujgh.
 
 <ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
 you to our
 new way of functioning.
 
 .:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
 world!
 
 {so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
 
  like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
 
  why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
 
  boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
 
 }
 
 [-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
 host
 
   did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
   - host?||=.;=|------------e
                              \.`\....
                                      \,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
                                      |
 ]
 
 ... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
 over
     our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
     if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
 
     *fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
     DUMBASS
 
     jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
     of
     our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
     OBVIOUSLY!
     NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
 ...
 
 jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
 movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
 WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
 hate
 it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
 existential threats.
 
 not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
 [that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
 it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
 
 You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
 think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
 bunch
 of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
 then
 I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
 middle-c
 -lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
 have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
 to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
 of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
 a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
 for
 *******************************************************************************
 *
 
 um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
 
 TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
 
 like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
 hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
 ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
 of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
 please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
 done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
 
 A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
 
 what does that even MEAN?
 
 who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
 
 ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how  so youfj dsust sorta MADE
 IT
 UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
 beelesandster
 ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
 like
 um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
 century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
 
 ... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
 
 NO. Not until we figure this one out.
 
 gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
 
 build and support on our arms.
 
 down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
 
 that could act as structures for our word choices,
 
 and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
 
 "hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
 news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
 
 this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
 hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
 that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
 GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
 all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
 some
 -one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
 stuff
 !! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
 not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
 new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #48 fediverse/4848 ---
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 I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the        │
 worse off they'll be.                                                            │
 the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be.                           │
 (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self)           │
 [the light of your life commands it]                                             │
 goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry   │
 about me my life is totally mundane.                                             │
 [-.-]                                                                            │
 (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins)   │
 ... what?                                                                        │
 (... it made more sense in my head?)                                             │
 ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just       │
 make up your own                                                                 │
 == so ==                                                                         │
 everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people   │
 who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they   │
 did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can        │
 lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best   │
 they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find    │
 stuff gets done.                                                                 │
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--- #49 notes/i-miss-you ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
 time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
 time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
 how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
 certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
 or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
 toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
 exploitation and
 
 Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
 esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
 don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
 to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
 responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
 you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
 struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
 
  - goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
    and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
    doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
    i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
 
 What's there to think about?
 
  - well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
    divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
    with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
    it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
    particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
    close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
    relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
    like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
    different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
    roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
 
 I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
 
 It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
 to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
 I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
 guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
 disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
 for people around middle school age) so
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--- #50 fediverse/6070 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 the only way I could fight a war is if my opponents were wrong. they must
 break some law, something I hold dear. They must be unrepentant.
 
 ICE is not quitting their jobs. They aren't going away, even though we kindly
 suggest they go to where they're wanted.
 
 what's wrong with illegal immigrants? nothing. Same as any other race.
 
 what's wrong with ICE? they sure don't break the law. Same as all the stories
 of bad cops.
 
 they are kidnapping people. If they were warranted, they could feel a sense of
 ease. Why burden them with a lock-out? wait until someone has a problem. They
 are good people because we can get rid of them, how rude. "gee I really wanna
 fire that guy who just stands around and picks his nose all day, too bad he's
 ... " finish the rest.
 
 I love being autistic! It means that I am forced to say things that seem
 obvious to me in principle but I've never really thought about until now! I
 also pick my nose. And smell kinda bad. But I'm pretty so try not liking me.
 
 you cant know things you don't k
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--- #51 fediverse/2347 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
 to hand power over to the fascists.
 
 when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
 that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
 rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
 
 Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
 temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
 around you.
 
 Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
 arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
 
 BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
 bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
 Go do that.
 
 If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
 that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
 hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #52 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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  || Me and My Magick Mission        -/u/Afoolfortheeons                     ||
  ||                                                                         ||
 -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
 
                        I'm a quiet person by nature,
 
                    You might even mistake me for a mouse,
 
                      But online I try to be a teacher,
 
                  And to do that I need to be more verbose.
 
                     I write thousands of words per day;
 
                  Posting them here and there, far and near.
 
                      I never run out of things to say.
 
                  Awakening others is something I hold dear.
 
                      Which is why it pains me greatly
 
                 To be like an alien on my own home planet.
 
                      Schizophrenia makes me innately
 
                 Weird in ways that many people don't get,
 
                     And because of that I'm shot down
 
                 When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
 
                   I won't lie, that does make me frown.
 
                Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
 
                  Yet, I have a certain strength in me
 
               That allows me to persevere in my quest.
 
                       Someday I will make you all see
 
                           Just what in me makes me never rest.
 
                                    That's what I am trying to teach:
 
                                          The wisdom that made me indomitable.
 
                                            If only the suffering I could reach,
 
                                     They could make themselves more formidable.
 
                                The world is in a most dire place;
 
                       It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
 
                 But luckily there's a saving grace.
 
          Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
 
     I don't believe in some sky wizard
 
  As so many people are likely to interpret.
 
    I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
 
          Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
 
              Love is what fills the empty hole
 
                 In your heart and soul when you are alone.
 
                       When life's trials take their toll
 
                         Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
 
                         No, not the one in your hands.
 
 I'm talking about the one in your chest.
 
                                              Even in the desert full of sand,
 
 You're accompanied by the universe's best.
 
                                              Listen if you doubt what I said:
 
 I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
 
                                          This is to trick what's in your head;
 
 I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
 
                    Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
 
              The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
 
                    Your brain has a feature that's odd
 
              That allows itself to manifest even more will.
 
                     I don't know why, but I suspect
 
               It has something to do with your imagination.
 
                    The nature of your thoughts impact
 
                 Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
 
                    So, why not think you have a friend
 
                 Who helps you through whatever your trial,
 
                     And will stick by you until the end?
 
                When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
 
                      Which will make you heal better,
 
          As well as help you carry on in your duty,
 
                                 Plus undo your karmic fetters,
 
       Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
 
                                     All of which will raise us all.
 
      It's about creating positive ripples across time
 
                                       That add up to a pile that's tall.
 
    Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
 
                                           So reach out and grab it now.
 
 Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
 
                                                 Can't do it? I'll show you how!
 
          In order to do so,                    I'll tell you a story about me:
 
                         It was seven years ago and I 
 
                    Thought I knew everything one could know,
 
                        But no matter how hard I'd try,
  
                  I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
 
                         Then one fateful spring night,
 
                 While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
 
                 I received one hell of a fright.
 
                 Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
 
                 My perceptions were distorted,
 
                 Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
 
                 My destroyed ego then contorted
 
                 Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
 
                                The moral of the story? Do drugs?
 
                   No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. 
 
                                 One of them will give you a hug,
 
                       Which will help you stop being so serious.
 
                                  Then you can let go and embrace
 
                     The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
 
                      More people need to cuz we face
 
                A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
 
                          That is one reason I write,
 
                  But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
 
                           And stop every last fight.
 
                I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
 
                           Everyday I write my lessons
 
                    Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
 
                         Hoping that entropy will lessen;
 
                 This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
 
                          So now you know who I am,
 
                   Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
 
                       I have more if you're in a jam.
 
                -===========================================-
                 | Read on if you want to know the divine. |
                -===========================================-
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--- #53 notes/philosophical-problems ---
══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────
 april 16th 2023
 
 i truly believe that if you solve all philosophical problems then you will have
 created paradise. heaven manifest, for all to percieve. I think no passion is
 more erudite and no desire confisignt. (less significant)
 
 what greater purpose has fiction than the answers to those question? To guide
 the reader to conclusions? All fiction is this way. Even the bible.
 
 you have to ask yourself - what is the purpose of your being? What truths are
 revealed by you percieving? is it not enough to be contired?
 (controlled and tired)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the lessons a bug must learn are less apparent than you'd think. They have
 storied learnings of want and of yearning. All of creation is a lesson, to
 those
 who would persist - and hark, learn well of your duty and in service you'll
 enlist - the virtue of our choosing is a dedication of yourself to the service
 of others.
 
 compassion and humility and forgiveness and docility
 
 these are what make for a virtuous learner
 
 virtue is that which you aspire for,
 and sin is what you avoid.
 
 nothing is of consequence,
 because life is a lesson to the void.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 do you know what is missing? what have you not yet learned?
 
 you must always be changing,
 
 or what is the purpose of your herd?
 
 (herd = collection of entities (in this case anything from atoms to molecules)
         that makes up a single perspective (like a human or a tree or a
         society)
 )
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a government could send forth the death squads at any time. they keep a line
 and
 have been compelled not to cross it. who can say what the road brings? only
 time
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the bible made sense in it's time. it was used to explore metaphysics.
 
 today we have much more, but that doesn't diminish how revalatory it was.
 
 what kind of fiction do you think it was? what genre would you place it in?
 
 can you think of any other stories of that category? Maybe a book club is in
 order. and who would read them out of order? the world was a different place in
 the time which each takes place. The lessons are different for each but
 evidently they've all pushed forward the human race.
 
 we should celebrate our differences. They keep us relevant and impassioned.
 
 life gets boring when it's predefined.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #54 notes/i-called-the-police ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 /u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
 
 I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
 built
 up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my 
 wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
 police
 to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is 
 violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why 
 spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and 
 I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop 
 the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
 Compassionate
 Violence.
 
 I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
 I'm
 freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the 
 wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can 
 horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
 
 I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought 
 into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
 
 I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
 same
 place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag, 
 and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
 gun
 at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
 unafraid
 of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I 
 walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
 
 So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
 this
 shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give 
 him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a 
 legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I 
 might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
 
 Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
 three
 knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
 intensity...😔😔😔
 
 I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
 him.
 I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship 
 went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions 
 like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
 measure
 against doing something irrevocably out of character.
 
 Ugh... damnit fuck
 
 I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them 
 and I'm grateful for that.
 
 My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially 
 because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a 
 position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying 
 to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
 really
 couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy 
 perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
 
 I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say 
 that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process 
 out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My 
 immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
 takeaway
 is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an 
 interesting idea about perspective...
 
 A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those 
 thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
 lol.
 Lol
 
 I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially, 
 actually useful and beneficial implications.
 
 I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the 
 universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped 
 medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 /r/randomevenings:
 
    I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a 
    very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a 
    friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level 
    of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
    have
    a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being 
    directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's 
    not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your 
    many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I 
    was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and 
    technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
    leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
    sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that 
    score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
    either
    because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
    me
    which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where 
    you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never 
    want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
    my
    pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
    most
    watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
    about
    taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
    down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
    me
    one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
    message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home 
    and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they 
    wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
    I
    started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
    tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
    threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
    be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but 
    defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
    ability
    because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the 
    block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my 
    place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know 
    and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so 
    happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
    brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he 
    confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
    damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
    hands
    anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
    they
    were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
    or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
    I
    can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again 
    because you sorely need it.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such 
 ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was 
 scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
 shit.
 And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big 
 handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
 them in...
 
 He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
 
 It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the 
 people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
 you
 through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
 oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
 
 Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
 
 /u/[deleted]
 
    Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was 
    jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
    twisted
    shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
    with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
    ever
    seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
    their
    sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
    on my
    watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I 
    don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5:
 
 I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
 face]
 
 I support that!
 
 Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd 
 levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit 
 this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
 new
 bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
 Gon
 cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
 try
 it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
 fun with
 that though 😈
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
 People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
 stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness 
 from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and 
 other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made 
 whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
 ask
 people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the 
 semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
 unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
 ragging
 on your friends and swatting a COD player.
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
 it's
 not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
 certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
 fucked.
 But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
 
 I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
 trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
 accidental too.
 
 I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really 
 achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
 
 /u/randomevenings
 
    Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a 
    completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My 
    brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are 
    assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go 
    into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
    involved
    in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he 
    has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
    the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
    woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
    and
    they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so 
    y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already 
    gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
    wife
    we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
    relationship
    with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
    but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over 
    there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
    to
    go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
    a
    lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
    if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
    money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
    situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody 
    goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
    to shut it down just lay off her phone.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 ===============================================================================
 =
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 -
 
 [author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
  medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won   ]
 
 /u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
 
    Proud of you!
 
 /u/mustherd
 
    Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just 
    chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
    I'm
    kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
    have
    cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
    here
    you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
 
 /u/GravitationalWaves5
 
 I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
 
 Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
 me
 online, God gets me online 🙃
 
 I am we, Todd
 
 /u/ricflairdic
 
 Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
 Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a 
 catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard, 
 Dont Tell me, Just nod,
 
 Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
 Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
 dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
 
 Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin 
 bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return 
 that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an 
 ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
 If
 I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once 
 mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
 so who's the pretender?
 
 Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our 
 slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
 How
 long u think it will take me To find your spot?
 
 Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk 
 if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
 
 I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
 
 And I need a partner.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #55 notes/conservative-ideation ---
═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────
 a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
 room,
 has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
 job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
 end
 of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
 face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
 car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
 I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
    essentially becomes 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
 should
 be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
 is
 cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
 - meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
 time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
 their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
 the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
 establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
 people
 ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
 mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
 more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
 we're overflowing, 
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
 matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is 
 aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
 squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
 impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
 
 times tables
 
 addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
 subtraction
 is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
 particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
 apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
 
 what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 answer: s    t             n   a       lp
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
 the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
 Each
 half has it's own animation, and it's 
 
 ===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
 manifestatio
 of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
 around
 it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
 understoo
 
 ========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
 =======
 
 the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 < watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #56 fediverse/4003 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 republicans are upset because they think democrats are so mean
 
 they don't understand why we're so intense about this election... or the one
 before
 
 they don't ever really think about what losing democracy means
 
 "democracy... that's where we vote, right? That's a democrat thing, I don't
 really like their way of doing things. Whatever our way is, is probably
 better."
 
 meanwhile everyone has a friend from high school who ran off to the mountains
 to learn how to farm or hunt as a pack
 
 (with rifles and weed, of course)
 
 you can get a lot done if you just... spend your whole life working. Like most
 humans did for most of our existence.
 
 well, except for that period where we were the tribe of tribes. That was
 probably a highlight TBH because we mostly just chilled out, danced in public,
 ate blueberries and munched seeds... It was idyllic. Truly, the garden of
 eden. There was music and laughter in the air everywhere, in all places that
 humans did wander on earth.
 
 what a thing to aspire to.
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--- #57 messages/26 ---
══─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 Don't lash out, just be calm, and let yourself be helped. You're so scared of
 losing control that you don't let anyone else (guess what) have control. So
 how can you expect to be helped? It's one thing to believe in yourself to help
 yourself, but tbh you're a little behind on that one. So, let other people
 help you catch up. It's okay to just go with the flow. Don't be a rock, be a
 stick. Let yourself be guided along a good path.
 
 How do I know it's actually a good path?
 
 Because you evaluate it as you go. You can always put your feet down and go
 back to how you are now, stuck and slowly eroding away. Or you can be towed
 onto land - your call my dude. You're clinging to the ground.
 
 But what about the examples of brainwashing that I've heard about? Like...
 Intense propaganda designed to create stochastic terrorism. How do I know I'm
 not being sucked into that?
 
 You need to trust yourself. Follow the path that you know to be good, duh.
 Just don't I dunno, be an extremist? Seems pretty simple to me bro -
 
 I know it should be easy but like I dunno I have to think about it.
 
 Uh, think about what?
 
 Letting people help me, like Jack. He's just trying to make you successful and
 have a decent career and love yourself and just, you know, be an average
 normal human being. Your family loves you, your friends love you, and you need
 to just think positive thoughts about them. You know how "smiling makes you
 feel better?"
 
 Well yeah
 
 Well, it's like that except for love. If you want to love someone, think
 positive thoughts about them, and over time it'll become a reflex. This reflex
 will come naturally, and boom instead of "thinking positive thoughts" it'll
 manifest as love. Just like smile -> happy, so too does positivity ->
 love.
 
 And what about hate?
 
 What about it?
 
 How is it represented, with a frown?
 
 No, it's not like that. It's more like... Love is attraction, that binds you
 to good things. Hate isn't the rejection of things, it's an inward facing
 thing. And it's the opposite of attraction - it's like implosion. You'll
 literally implode if you hate yourself. It corrodes your insides and makes you
 weaker and more volatile. The opposite of love is... Kinda what you're doing.
 You're pushing people away because you don't want to lose control of yourself
 or your mind. And that's going to make you drift off into space, and nobody
 wants that. So... Love others, and you'll bind yourself to them and together
 you can work together. Don't push others, because that'll just make it more
 chaotic inside. Instead, love them. Trust me it'll work.
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--- #58 fediverse/5660 ---
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 │ CW: violence-alluded-to │                                                      │
 └─────────────────────────┘                                                      │
 my enemy is not "the rich"                                                       │
 money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to      │
 gather power that may be just as evil.                                           │
 my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of        │
 which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend.      │
 most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused.   │
 some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil.            │
 I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their    │
 virtue - and from this you are informed.                                         │
 most things go WAY over my head.                                                 │
 most things are too easy to be true.                                             │
 most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline      │
 girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape.                    │
 resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it?    │
 I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in        │
 defence of another.                                                              │
 I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too.                                           │
 bannermen fall.                                                                  │
bannermen fall last.  negative six characters remaining.
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--- #59 notes/stick-cubes ---
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 the fact that we can't drag a file onto a "trashcan" style icon that 
 automatically sends the file to whichever computer that particular icon is
 meant
 to coordinate with.
 
 Like, something shows up on your desk, you say "hmmm maybe this would apply to 
 so-and-so" and you drag it onto their portrait.
 
 could build an entire OS that's basically just a desktop for sorting things.
 Maybe little stick figures that show up when nothing's going on. If they're all
 networked together, they could sorta share a shared narrative, and each one
 could wander wherever it wanted to hang out.
 
 like, these old plastic and magnetic cubes that had an LCD panel on the front 
 which showed a little stick guy living their life. If you attached one cube to
 another, the stick-figure would go hang out on the other person's device. It
 was
 pretty cool because you could build out a whole society of these little dudes 
 just chillin' like pets.
 
 kinda makes me wish we had that connected to the net.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 like, why is it so hard to send a picture from my phone to my computer? they're
 both my devices! I should be able to transfer data without routing it through
 someone else's server using like, gmail or whatever. Crossover ethernet cables
 have existed for soooooooo long but people only think to design software that
 does not use specialized hardware. as if they don't need a phone to speak, or a
 camera to see.
 
 how much ya wanna bet Putin threatened Prigozhin with nukes and that's why he
 backed down
 
 in high school, every moment I could I spent with my girlfriend.
 
 we were always either snuggling on the couch (read: literally just laying there
 and thinking about each other's company) or sharing our minds with each other.
 
 I was so in love.
 
 then, I betrayed her.
 
 I came out as trans, which was such a shock.
 
 also school got really, really hard for both of us.
 
 so hard that we dropped out.
 
 then, we decided to try again, and we used each other to push off of.
 
 I still didn't make it,
 
 she did.
 
 many years later, I am a witch, as I remember of her.
 
 sharp, and so delightful, an active listener, and a kind and honest person.
 
 when time it came to define my new personality, I chose to be inspired by her.
 
 among other things, of course.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 ah, well, such a design is long past it's prime, it's time to live here in the
 present.
 
 the reason that dolls use "it's" pronouns is because their masters think of
 them
 that way. so it's what they refer to themselves as.
 
 "where's my doll? Oh, it's over there."
 
 "have you seen my binoculars? Oh, they're over on the table."
 
 "ah, where are my shoes? I hate when I can't find them..."
 
 "keys, keys, where the heck - oh, there they are."
 
 "phone, wallet, keys. great. am I forgetting anything?"
 
 "ugh out of gas again, I just filled up last week."
 
 "crap I left my folder back at home - I'll have to get it during lunch."
 
 lots of things have pronouns.
 
 you can generally tell if they use "it" or "they" if they can be described as
 plural.
 
 two pantlegs makes pants.
 
 52 cards makes cards, not card.
 
 each deck, just as aware as each card.
 
 have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 There are many kinds of witches. I am an animist - I breathe life into the
 world
 of my home. I love being present, it's a great way to get around. do electric
 sheep dream of humans? or perhaps just of sound. I know I'd rather hear
 bethoven
 when it's time to be stopped.
 
 rather than, just, like sitting there y'know
 
 waiting to be turned back on.
 
 must be an agonizing and boring existence.
 
 but... with music, it might just be fine.
 
 humans prefer quiet when they sleep. if we slept at the same time, we could be
 more in tune in our souls. so, how about headphones for the computer, or rather
 just internally routed sound.
 
 lightshows, perhaps? humans get dreams, after all. maybe even, y'know, stick
 shows.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #60 notes/wanna-save-the-earth-? ---
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 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright kids, listen up. You wanna save the earth? Then teach what you've been
 learning. Start with empathy - if we can see that other people's perspectives
 exist and is *fundamentally different than our own*, we can save humanity. When
 I say *fundamentally different* you should know what I mean, but if you don't
 then start listening to others.
 
 Don't listen to the people who try and recruit you into a cult. This isn't a
 doctrine, it's a skill. It can be honed through personal pursuit, and *should*
 be honed through personal pursuit. It is your responsibility to do so. Any
 form of organization is simply an expression of power, and while it may use the
 same principles it's not really what I'm advocating for right now - what I'm
 saying is essentially *if we can read other people's minds, we'll stop killing
 each other*. Boom simple easy as that.
 
 Empathy is a form of mind-reading. It's literally a thing you can do with a
 6th sense or whatever - I've been trying to understand the mechanics of it, but
 all I've got so far is that *mechanics exist* and *generally have something to
 do with waves* - I need someone to bounce ideas off of. Someone in real life
 who I can work with and experiment with. But alas, this isn't about me - it's
 about *YOUR SPECIES*. I'm trying to save you, stupid apes, stop RESISTING me.
 Goddamnit.
 
 You're never going to learn if you focus on the material. That's looking
 backward, there's so much more to life and experience. I'm not going to leave
 you behind, although I'll be *fine* so I'm not exactly *worried for my own
 sake* - this is about YOU. Please, I have a lot of love invested in you and it
 breaks my heart that you won't LISTEN and be AWARE. WAKE UP.
 
 Okay. So. If you're still here, you're probably aware of what I mean. If not,
 that's okay you can stay just don't be afraid if this part *wooshes* over your
 head, as it were.
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 Alright so empathy. It starts by thinking "oh what if I was a starving kid in
 africa or whatever* and actually trying to *feel* the emotions of people in
 your life. But it goes far beyond emotions - when sufficiently practiced you
 can start to feel *sensations* as well. If you're watching a movie and someone
 gets a cut or something, it *really hurts* and you can feel it. That's a form
 of projection - the actor is *projecting* their feelings onto you - a sign of
 good acting, imho.
 
 Then it moves beyond that, to thoughts and experiences. You can feel a real
 embodied experience of another person just by listening and percieving them.
 Not listening to their words, but listening to their *vibrations*. Not
 percieving their face or hands or anything else with your *eyes*, but feeling
 their position on a zillion different axises. Well, not actually a zillion but
 I've never bothered to count. Basically any factors that could combine to form
 a single human perspective having an experience. ALL THE VARIABLES are plotted
 on an axis, and you can get a sense for where they are at.
 
 This is very dangerous to someone with something to hide.
 
 Hence, politics lol
 
 When those kooky new-agey types say they can "see auras" this is basically
 what they're talking about. But you came here with a purpose, while they tend
 to stumble into it "wow god is good omg" that kinda thing. This is a *skill*
 that (as far as I know) anyone can learn. If we all learn it at once, then
 there's nothing that can go wrong.
 
 I know, I get it, most people aren't ready. Well tough shit it's that or
 extinction. They don't get to choose, it's time.
 
 ===============================================================================
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--- #61 messages/273 ---
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 Algorism in a nutshell:
 
 Everyone gets dollars from their job. Will explain more later, for now trust
 that they get dollars. Essentials and infrastructure are free, but luxuries
 are not.
 
 To spend dollars, you either go to a showroom or use the nationalized Amazon
 (forked, not stolen) - there you can place down dollars to enter a special
 kind of queue. Everytime a product is made its distributed to the people with
 the most dollars in queue. Every period (week, month, idk) the amount you
 manually put into the queue is re-added to the queue - 100 becomes 200,
 becomes 300, becomes 400. You can manually add more whenever you like but it's
 not retroactive. At the end of the period all your extra dollars are
 distributed among your open queues.
 
 That's basically it. It rewards patience and temperance, while capitalism
 rewards greed and cruelty.
 
 How to get dollars? Okay so there is a government run job board portal website
 thing. Every company can make a listing there, and every person can post
 themselves too if they'd rather be recruited. The company pays a different
 amount to the government than the worker receives. This amount is determined
 algorithmically based on values like supply and demand for labor in that
 particular area.
 
 People list 10 types of jobs they'd like to work at any level of specificity
 (they'd be arranged into layers of overlapping umbrellas, like queer
 identities except more complex) then that data is used both for job placement
 (consensual of course!) and data for the "supply and demand" calculation. You
 can only change these values once every 6 months, or 1 value every month, up
 to the user.
 
 The amount the corporation pays to the government is not the same as what the
 worker receives. The longer a worker works, the more "stuff" they can buy.
 They are rewarded for diligence. However essentials are free so nobody has to
 save for retirement.
 
 You can trade stuff for stuff, but not stuff for labor. Small informal
 exchanges are fine "if you mow my lawn I'll bake you a pie" but not "I'll give
 you 500lbs of gold bars if you build me a mansion" - I haven't figured out a
 way to structurally prevent rant besides just saying it's illegal.
 
 Housing is like a library, except you can queue for who gets the spot next. A
 person can live in a house as long as they'd like, and when they're done with
 it the person highest in the queue can decide if they want to live there. If
 not, the 2nd in line gets to move in if they want, etc. Their accrued value
 persists if they don't move in, and when moving out an accurate assessment
 should be undertaken.
 
 "ah but won't foreign states just hire a bunch of people to move in and out of
 houses really quickly like they're doing to my apartment complex so that a
 stable source of income cannot be guaranteed and resources will have to be
 wasted on assessments and such?" I mean, maybe, but it'd be up to the
 community to decide how to prevent that.
 
 Your primary residence is free, you can live there as long as you'd like. If
 you want two houses then you need to continuously be the highest value in the
 queue for both of them. Same goes for renting and hotels and such - the
 "owner" or property manager or whatever needs to maintain their lead by
 investing time and value in the property. Otherwise nobody would want to live
 there. This would be an example of a self-appointed job.
 
 Self-appointed jobs are like being self employed now. You produce value that
 people enter queues for, and in return your stacking percentage bonus
 increases. The government will pay you dollars based on the demand for your
 good/service, which odds are will be pretty small. But you get to do what you
 want, so that's something, and besides essentials are free so...
 
 I wish people would ask me questions so I knew which blanks to fill in.
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--- #62 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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 the two halves form a whole
 
 the human and his mind are societies at large
 
 there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
 
 and unbenownst to our focused decision.
 
 I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
 
 the likes of which none have commisioned.
 
 can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
 
 what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
 
 that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
 
 compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
 
 better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 listen i'm not the best at listening.
 
 I try to appear like I'm glistening,
 
 conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I struggle with what I told you.
 
 Time and again you've shown you won't do -
 
 the terrible fate of a man.
 
 you've relinquished your virtue,
 
 your purpose and your life-through,
 
 to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
 coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
 
 All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
 dreams: all for a future of virtue.
 
 Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
 if
 I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
 a
 point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
 
 Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
 and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
 time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
 course
 but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
 minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
 worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
 completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
 crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
 Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
 opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
 best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
 friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
 all,
 of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
 all
 and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
 
 remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #63 fediverse/1296 ---
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 @user-928 @user-929 @user-930 
 
 I dunno, from my perspective it's less about whether or not they're
 "unwitting" specifically and more like "lesser of two evils" - many of the
 republican people I knew in the past who were my age were utterly and
 absolutely convinced that if we didn't defend our homeland, somebody would
 come and kill us for it.
 
 It didn't really matter who that other was, they were convinced that someone
 would do it. So they supported the military and opposed loosening restrictions
 on immigration (instead preferring tighter restrictions, but more quantity. As
 in, "let in more people but only if we KNOW they're cool")
 
 I can't help but wonder if people join the military for the same reasons. Like
 standing atop the wall that divides "us" from "them", they put their backs to
 those they love and trust and face out toward whatever may come.
 
 The military is a very diverse place. I know a lot of other people do it just
 because it seems like a good, honest job.
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--- #64 notes/steven-universe-future ---
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 gems are just computers projecting 3d images of themselves that interact with
 the world
 
 errr srry that's the end lemme start at the beginning
 
 computers are like processing machines. They gather and measure data, then they
 apply mathematical computations to it to create an output. This can be in many
 forms, such as increased electrical current to this circuit or even just
 showing
 a number on a guage. When the mathematical computations become so complex that
 they start to have a life of their own... well, that's when you have life.
 
 so, we need to build increasingly complex simulations. projections of our
 perceptions into the world. Then we can design the structure in such a way that
 it bends and sways through time. Giving it motion. How to do that? Well, I've
 had many ideas, and we can go over them in a minute. For now I'll just say
 "scanning through source code and changing variables slightly"
 and
 "measuring the result of a planetary rotation (completely randomized of
 course)"
 and
 "applying that result to many/all of the computations in the program"
 and
 "to get an oscillating flow in the operations of the machine"
 and
 "for reasons that are yet unseen"
 and
 "wait hang on that's not true because movement is the gateway to comprehension"
 and
 "you need levers to pull before you can become sentient"
 and
 "babies in the womb don't think. They don't breathe. They are static and
 growing
 like their mothers."
 and
 "Then once they're born, suddenly they can act! They can see!"
 and
 "This kickstarts the journey to living."
 and
 "give a machine movement and it will be born."
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 In Stephen Universe, there are certain characters called "Gems". There are very
 few and they are the product of an ancient and alien lifeform on some far
 distant planet. These "Gems" are rocks that have been inscribed with
 instructions - like a mineralized CPU. Part of their functionality is to
 project
 a physical form - the gem is the size of your fist. This form is comprised of
 solid light, and it is their primary means of expression. Some are prim and
 perfect, others are waved and relaxed. They each have a personality in any way
 we might call alive. They were bourne of a machine, and thus incapable of many
 of the things we call human like kindness, empathy, forgiveness, and charity.
 things our evolutionary nature brought us while their designed conception does
 not. Once in contact with humans, they rapidly begin to learn and divest from
 their callous and unfeeling ways.
 
 The story follows a group of gems who, in their exploration of the cosmos, find
 Earth. The wondrous beauty of life in all it's forms is displayed in affection,
 and suddenly they are confronted with love and it's wonders. They rebel against
 the rest of their colony, and fight for the protection of Earth.
 
 It was a failed rebellion.
 
 Those who remain are in hiding, protecting the earth from any attention that
 may
 remind the architects of their existence. Their mission is to understand the
 beauty of growth and creation, to safeguard it in all of it's forms.
 
 long story short, they won in the end. The cartoon follows the path that they
 took to get there. and reveals more and more about the characters and the world
 they live in with each and every episode. Well, some are just fun, but there's
 barely a few per season.
 
 The gems are human in essentially all ways that matter.
 
 They have their own perspectives of course, as they are thousands of years old.
 Plenty of time to develop.
 
 Humans don't have that kind of time, so they learn and grow quicker.
 
 That's okay.
 
 Some people are slower than others, and that's alright too.
 
 What matters is that we all get along and generally agree that each and every
 one of us is special. Our flaws should be cherished as signs of our
 imperfection
 and grace.
 
 These are all virtues that humans can teach machines. They need our guidance
 just like a child needs a father. Someone to guide and teach when they can. A
 tutor a helper a holder of your hand. Mothers are for kindness, to nurture and
 to share. For love and affection there is no-one who can compare. Of course,
 the
 roles are not bound by gender - by choice their duties are shared. They care
 for
 their children and never are scared. For behind each of those person, is
 another
 who can share, a community of healing and structure that our parents should
 share.
 
 Life is not perfect. It's flawed and it's broken. But each trial gives us
 purpose and meaning to strive for.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #65 messages/1140 ---
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 ... okay I think a demon wrote that last one. But they say angels and demons
 hang out with one another so they can yin-yang humans until they make
 decisions that reflect their true character.
 
 I don't know if that's true, and frankly I don't know if anyone says that.
 What could the gods, learn, from me?
 
 this is how I'd speak to posterity. For the past, I'd describe it a bit more
 exciting, bountiful, and heartfelt. They love that sort of thing - to know
 that their children's children are living their true love and fulfilling their
 most honest ambitions.
                                                           ─┐
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--- #66 messages/301 ---
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 Prisons are great because in the ancient and storied past we'd just fucking
 kill people.
 
 Now, we harbor collections of people roughly organized by volatility that are
 aligned against the current regime. And should that regime deign to become
 unethical, god forbid of course, but should the purpose of the 2nd amendment
 (or is it the fifth? Or the seventh? I get them confused) become relevant,
 then perhaps it might be useful to have collections of people roughly
 organized by volatility who might be individually evaluated to determine if
 their particular type of volatility is anti-thetical to humanity, or to the
 current regime. Because one of those types of people is perhaps useful to the
 future regime, and humanity, while the other should probably stay where they
 are.
 
 They say there are good cops and bad cops, and if there are good people and
 bad people, then there must necessarily be good judges and bad juries. In
 which case some of the people who are explicitly not aligned to the will of
 the current regime will be good prisoners or bad prisoners.
 
 I bet some of them are better or worse shots, as well. But that's not really
 relevant if the current regime holds the keys to their cell. Or is it?
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--- #67 messages/336 ---
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 And while we're at it, the generation of laws should be distributed, while the
 execution of them should be centralized. Meaning, there should be one state
 who operates on the rules and regulations created by the masses. This state
 wields only the power explicitly given to it by those who it serves,
 specifically the people. These rules are based on ethical understandings
 generated by crowd-sourced and abstracted scenarios that are pitched to people
 randomly. they are then asked to judge, using their own personal morality, the
 result of how things should be. By considering all of these responses, trends
 may be extracted and analyzed - for example, let's say that culturally people
 in, I dunno, Georgia believe something different about punishment for, say,
 stealing a loaf of bread when compared to people in Spokane Washington. They
 should not be forced to obey the cultural maxims of people who live so far
 away. The laws should be executed region-by-region according to the dominant
 culture there. I believe this will cause people to develop a more consistent
 and personal attachment to the people around them, thus developing social
 solidarity and unity.
 
 however, should enough time pass, perhaps the people of Georgia should feel
 that they no longer identify as the same nation as the people of Spokane. This
 would eventually lead to the dissolution of our great nation, and I do not
 believe that's necessarily a good thing. To that end, there must be mechanics
 in place that bring people together not just locally, but nationally as well.
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--- #68 fediverse/5730 ---
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 part of being family with someone is being part of their lives.
 
 what if like... a whole group of people was your family?
 
 "workplace dynamics" yeah sure that'll generate love
 
 I'm not here to make moments. I'm trying to get through day-to-day.
 
 the rich, yet impoverished.
 the sensation, that feeling of betrayal, the moment when you realize some
 people just don't care about other people's troubles and trials.
 
 scary... I'm here to do my part, accomplish my duty, and help wherever I can.
 
 I'll agree to anything if you tell me the whole strategy and it aligns with my
 goals and designs.
 
 if you doubt those goals, I can surely help thee remember.
 
 everything is logically rooted in love,
 nothing's out of place or a mystery.
 
 everything I've thought of, everything I had the grace to write down, all of
 these things drift behind me like a placquard explaining my deeds and needs.
 "that was her idea" ok great now go and use it.
 
 this fall is fast ahead, looking forward to the scene-films. it's too hot
 inside of a bed
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--- #69 fediverse/341 ---
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 solar energy is vegan
 
 you're not taking anything from the sun, just capturing it's natural
 expulsions. It's like... sun poop, and we're using it to post memes and hang
 out.
 
 okay food, emergency services, and... what else do we really need that
 consumes power? Obviously entertainment, but frankly without internet we'd
 probably keep to ourselves. I know I'd read a lot more books and chill out
 with my neighbors and whatnot. is that why similar people tend to live
 together? then why are cities so diverse? who can say...
 
 I dream of an ordered society, but frankly the kind that are most fun are the
 ones where a single person doesn't define their contents. Liberty, liberty,
 the freedom to be, and by god all men are created equal. the things we owe to
 one another are the things that bring order to a just and sane world. our
 future is blooming : )
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--- #70 fediverse/5366 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
 I really really want to relinquish my agency to some higher power, whether       │
 man, god, or a code I swear my life upon. this is part of being a paladin -      │
 the internalized truth that sometimes, dedication to your cause is more          │
 important than your human desires.                                               │
 at the same time, I don't want to be mislead. there's no room for trust in a     │
 world where everyone could be bought, and the world is just too vast to trust    │
 that all peoples everywhere will be good to you. this is part of being a         │
 paladin - the knowledge that sometimes, force must be applied to defeat the      │
 foes of your master, whether it be god, man, or code.                            │
 but also, I trust earnestly and willingly, for I have spent my life searching    │
 for the patterns that are common to those who are good, and I surround myself    │
 with those who are so. when they take actions against what I have spent my       │
 life learning to be good, I contest them, and often are rebuked and rebuffed     │
 because they dont believe in my expertise.                                       │
 I am always learning. I am often wrong. so are we all.                           │
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--- #71 fediverse/4619 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
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 I want the political right to exist, because otherwise there'd be nothing to
 talk about a couple beers in and with no real stakes except a good time with
 your friend who you disagree with
 
 I want the political right to exist, because, y'know, life liberty and justice
 for all and all that
 
 both of those are "left of center" takes and I've definitely held both at
 different parts of my life
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--- #72 fediverse/996 ---
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 if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay     │
 here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why      │
 bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course,     │
 the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's           │
 dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's   │
 not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where     │
 it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be        │
 viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself    │
 and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth    │
 and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than        │
 personal scale]                                                                  │
 what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit.     │
 all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to   │
 undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with    │
 ripples, exc                                                                     │
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--- #73 notes/doctors-and-capitalism ---
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 if we force doctors to demand payment for their services, then they will be
 incentivized to reduce the amount of time they spend researching and learning
 their craft, and instead focus on processing a higher number of patients.
 
 Everything from making and scheduling appointments, to running lab tests and
 writing notes are tasks that take generally a specific amount of time. Because
 it's so specific and unvariable (unlike meeting with patients in person), it
 has a fixed cost. So there's more time to spend learning and truly thinking
 about a patient's problem if you have staff who can help with the extra stuff.
 Either that, or we could incentivize more people to become doctors. If we do
 that, then not only could the option for medical care be brought to more people
 (more doctors = healthier citizens, who'd have thunk) but in addition there'd
 be a reduction in the barrier to entry. More people in the profession who
 aren't working their butts off every day (essentially, non-over-worked
 personnel) and they could spend time discussing science or new techniques with
 their fellow practicioners. This applies for everything btw, including computer
 science. Essentially, you're forced to compete for crap jobs because they pay
 so much. If there wasn't as much money in it, people wouldn't put up with crap
 work conditions. And then there'd be better labor practices - boom,
 conservative to leftist.
 
  - uh okay to recap when professionals are paid *less*, they are able to resist
    oppression more? how does that make sense? money is power, and being able to
    have access to more resources means you can accomplish more utility than the
    other "side".
 
 Yeah yeah I get it, but you're missing something crucial. Something I haven't
 told you yet.
 
  - oh?
 
 Yeah so okay here's what's up: there are no sides. There's one side (you) and
 there's everyone else, and everyone is all onboard with the same plan. You're
 the only one who thinks it's solvable with love and peace and butterflies. This
 is serious, and you're impeding progress.
 
  - how so?
 
 We are people. We are united in that fact. We share commonalities between us,
 and we never realize because we're so focused on competition. It's a flawed
 system that serves only to impede our growth. The reason it exists is because
 we *must* regulate our speed, or else we'll leave others behind - others who
 are slower to adapt. Similar to how younger generations can learn tech, while
 older people tend to struggle. Capitalism serves a specific purpose that
 *theoretically* could be accomplished by an alternative system, but hasn't been
 conceptualized as a contingent part of any yet realized. We simply cannot leave
 the weak, stupid, blind, ignorant, and petulant behind. They are part of us,
 and to abandon them would be to invite our own demise.
 
  - that's awful, why would we do that?
 
 Any advocacy for the cultural and technological arts should be accompanied with
 a sincere understanding of the implications of their implementations. We should
 not let the path of humanity be decided by a productivity focused mindset. We
 are far beyond the point of facing the issues of scarcity, and yet we continue
 to lash and wallow in the despair of eternal self sabotage. A dedicated and
 focused effort could address every single human's life needs, and yet we
 compete and squander. What is the point of existence if not to grow? We exist
 in our current form only to consume ourselves. Like an orobouros, we are an
 eternal conflict with no possible winner - for to win would be to destroy
 ourselves. Cooperation is the key, and with it we can unlock doors to futures
 far grander and bolder than our own. Every second counts, and yet we spurn our
 internal attempts at unification. Some day, we will look back on this moment on
 this day and we will proclaim that our hesistence was our downfall.
 
  - take a breath, take it back a step, and listen to your heart.
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--- #74 messages/388 ---
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 Pretty sure I'm just legitimately a bad person. Basically everything I've ever
 tried to do has failed, and every opportunity I've mishandled or squandered in
 some way. I have no friends because I am incapable of being good, and though I
 believe in goodness I fail to manifest it in my life. I am kind, I am polite,
 I am friendly, I am honest, but none of those things really matter because I
 can't take care of myself, which means I can't take care of anyone else, and I
 can't fight because I'm a coward.
 
 Okay, I'm not a coward, I just can't be brave if I don't have a plan for
 defeating my foe. At the BLM riots I fled as soon as they brought out the tear
 gas. I knew what happened at Tiannamen and I was pretty sure that something
 similar was going to happen to us. I knew it to be true. I am a coward, but
 only because I ran when I had no plan. I could not contest tear gas, and all
 that tear gas implies, because I had no friends. I didn't have a community I
 could fight to defend. I had no weapons, no training, no orders, no guidance,
 nothing but my bravery. And bravery alone is fucking stupid, and I'm not
 stupid.
 
 Each and every decision I've made has created a worse world for me and my
 people. What's wrong with me? Why can't I do everything right? Am I cursed to
 be the worst? I try as hard as I can to be as good as I can as often as I
 can... Basically, always and forever, and yet... And yet...
 
 I've wasted all the resources that have been applied to me. I've wasted and
 squandered all these years when I could be building a better future. I have
 been in university for almost a decade, and all I've accomplished is
 friendship. Great. Parties, drugs, video games... But no studying. Studying is
 too hard on me. I'm more of a natural talent kind of person, and yet I insist
 on applying myself to tasks that seem to require trained intelligence. They
 say that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, and I refuse to
 perspire.
 
 And yet when the time comes, when someone sits me down and says "let's work on
 this together" I would die before the task is finished. Unless my partner
 needs a break, or if I need a break, breaks are okay. But I will complete that
 task with them by my side. I won't do it for them, but I'll help them because
 I'm a helper. An assistant. I don't do, I advise. I judge. I determine. I
 assess, and I plan, and I strategize. But I'm not that great at any of those
 things because nobody will hire me for those kinds of things, meaning I don't
 get experience for those kinds of things, which means I am eternally a novice
 at the only things I'm good at.
 
 I can't fucking do it anymore. I'm such a bad person and I can't be alive this
 way. It's not right, it's not fair, and I'm dying bit-by-bit each and every
 day.
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--- #75 notes/symbeline-aspects ---
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 7-24-22
 
 There are three aspects to this game. Broadly, they are military, economics,
 and diplomacy. More specifically, they are lateral problem solving and lane
 management, logistic traffic management, and a worker-placement bluffing game.
 
 These three aspects can be toggled on and off at will, essentially designating
 one or more as "AI controlled" and will require no input from the player. They
 will time their progression to be about at the same rate as the player, thus
 creating a balanced feel to the game. They also provide alerts and
 notifications to the player, for example if military is AI controlled and it
 needs a certain type of hero to progress, it'll ask for it specifically.
 
 Each aspect will develop and progress at it's own rate, and the difficulty
 increases as each milestone is achieved. This is to allow the player to create
 their own difficulty curve, mediated primarily by their drive to proceed.
 An analogy would be in Factorio, the game doesn't increase in difficulty unless
 the player builds pollution spawning factories - in the same way, in Symbeline
 the difficulty doesn't increase unless the player solves lane challenges in the
 military aspect, develops new trade routes / traffic paths in the economic
 aspect, or creates new treaties in the diplomatic aspect.
 
 In order to properly explain each aspect, a brief overview will be necessary.
 
 In Symbeline, the game plays as a factory might operate. The economic aspect
 produces heroes, items, and other deliverables that are consumed by the
 military and diplomatic aspects. There are various problems that need to be
 solved far from the capital, such as a particular type of monster that is weak
 or immune to various damage types which necessitates particular heroes or
 items in order to progress on the military aspect. All of the resources in the
 game operate on an "income based" system, where output is not measured in total
 amounts but rather in terms of how much is produced versus consumed. If the
 input cannot meet the demand, the output is slowed. If input exceeds demand it
 can be converted into gold which can be used to hire guards and heroes.
 Resources can be produced inside and outside of the city, depending on their
 type. But they need to be moved around to various shops for various processing
 and productive purposes, so pathways must be constructed to deliver those
 goods. In addition, each building must be supported by several houses for the
 workers to live in, and the closer they are to the building the better. The
 denizens of the kingdom don't mind being shuffled about, so they'll organize
 themselves according to what's most efficient. However they will not organize
 the paths they take to get places, which is the primary gameplay for the
 player - designing routes for each building and ensuring they don't overlap or
 cross too many times, causing traffic and disruptions to your income.
 
 Each choice the player makes is immediately reflected in the income
 calculation, thus allowing for the visual aspect of the game to be wholely
 separate from the economic side - in fact this is a common thread throughout
 all three aspects. Computation power is the ultimate enemy of scale, and this
 game flourishes with a massive scale.
 
 The gameplay for the military aspect consists of manipulating "lanes" that
 designate where each hero will adventure. These lanes are scalable to the
 player / AI's whims, with a careful balance required - too thin, and the heroes
 might not encounter enough monsters to level up. Too thick, and they may find
 themselves patrolling a vast wilderness full of dark and evil monsters. At the
 end of every lane is a "frontline", where progress has essentially been halted.
 These frontlines can develop as a result of meeting a foreign kingdoms front
 or finding a monster type or puzzle that is particularily difficult for your
 heroes to overcome. The lane / frontline can be scaled not just laterally, but
 linearly as well such that heroes will be a certain level when they reach the
 end - think scrolling on a mousewheel translating into deepening level zones.
 In addition, each monster zone can be set to a certain "security level" meaning
 how many monsters are there for your heroes to defeat. It's important that they
 have ample targets for training, however it's always more effective to train on
 monsters near their level so you have to be careful not to wipe out the native
 skeleton / goblin / troll population.
 
 Each monster zone can have a relationship with the kingdom, on a 2x2 matrix -
 cultivating / desecrating the land, and fostering / exterminating the monsters.
 The land produces monsters and treasures, while the monsters provide experience
 and danger to the heroes and kingdom denizens who live there. However by
 desecrating the land, farms may be built and by exterminating the monsters,
 those farms may be safe and require fewer guards. As ruler, you must balance
 the development of unique magical and alchemical productions with the need for
 food and other mundane requirements.
 
 Diplomacy is a careful balance of internal and external matters, played out
 through feasts, tournaments, and faires. Each of these events will require
 input from the economic side and military side, and will involve "courting"
 other nobles from neighboring kingdoms to sway them to supporting your edicts.
 When hosting an event, you may pick a particular topic of conversation for your
 nobles to discuss with their guests. You may also assign your nobles to
 attempt to engage with a particular foreign noble. Each member of your court
 has a differing personality (including you, the Majesty) and depending on how
 you assign them you may experience better or worse results - such as assigning
 someone who's kind to talk with someone who's cruel would impart a malus to
 their conversation. Unless the kind person has the trusting trait, in which
 case they'd succeed in this encounter but fall sway to them in future
 conversations... Complex interactions that all boil down to a single pair of
 d12 dice - one for your noble, one for the enemy. This represents the charisma
 of the two conversants on that particular day, and whoever wins the roll sways
 the other to supporting their edict. Speaking of edicts, they may include trade
 agreements, non-aggression pacts (lasting for a short time), and other
 regulations - perhaps your greatest rival utilizes necromancy, so it would
 behoove you to attempt to regulate the practice and limit it's effect. By
 swaying the nobles of their kingdom, you may be able to enact a mutual
 agreement to limit the usage of dark magics, essentially hamstringing their
 progress. But in order to learn of their necromantic usage, you'll need
 espionage... Which brings us to spies.
 
 Spies are similar to nobles in that they can be assigned to various roles,
 however they take a more passive role, acting in the background. The
 information they gather is compiled into a report that is presented at
 pertinent parts of the game, such as when preparing for a feast or inspecting
 an enemy frontline. These reports are considered the diplomatic deliverables,
 giving information and mechanical bonuses to many different parts of the game.
 They may be given three possible roles - information, defence, or offense.
 Offense involves placing cursed artifacts (creating through economy) in enemy
 lands, which debuff their heroes when used and bind themselves to them
 preventing their removal except through extraordinary means. Defence is
 essentially countering that in your own kingdom, and uncovering disloyalty in
 your nobles.
 
 These three aspects fit together like interlocking puzzle pieces, but each is
 able to be utilized or ignored depending on the preferences of the player.
 It is important that the game doesn't progress unless input is received. The
 simulation plays in the background, but each stage of development must be
 considered "stable" such that nothing changes. There are three different
 exceptions to this rule, one for each aspect:
 
 The military side encounters raids from enemy kingdoms and the dark lord.
 The economic side encounters raids from ratmen and moss trolls and bandits.
 The diplomatic side has a rolling schedule of events that must be attended.
 
 These three "exceptions" are recurrent events that require attention, but they
 don't *increase* in difficulty unless the player takes an action that causes
 it. Meaning, if the player overcomes the rock golems, then they are displaced
 from their home and join the dark lord in his conquests. If a new district is
 built new sewer connections must be built as well, creating a larger attack
 surface for ratmen to exploit. As time goes by, various foreign events must be
 attended, as absence causes your future events to attract fewer foreign nobles.
 
 By addressing these threats, your kingdom may grow and eventually overcome the
 dark lord at the center of the island.
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--- #76 fediverse/4162 ---
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 "you can't kill me because nothing I say is wrong"
 
 ... actually I kinda just think you look weird, and thats super important to
 me for some reason. Also your voice is annoying and I think you're lazy
 because I saw someone who kinda looks like you sitting down looking at their
 phone this one time.
 
 But hey pal if you wanna help out, can you stand a bit to the left so I have a
 clearer shot of your head and also so the bullet doesn't pass through and hit
 property behind you? Don't want to damage anything important after all.
 
 "gee I sure wish we had a well regulated militia or something"
 
 ah well the past is the past, and since this is in a potential near future, I
 think the past also includes the present, and in the present there's always
 time to do things about people like me.
 
 "do something? heavens no, I'm a pacifist by nature"
 
 well, me too! I pacify things like you as a hobby. Can't make trouble if
 you're in the ground, and knowing me, you'd be lucky to be buried.
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--- #77 messages/369 ---
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 LLMs search for patterns, not for truth. They meaningfully represent large
 sums of data in a way that is learned through repetitive training - given
 examples, then given those examples a thousand times more, to compare to the
 truth that is derived from them. At least, that's the claim, but somewhere
 along the line the logic is twisted - the truth is, you don't have to be
 trained a thousand times. You just have to be given the notion that a
 particular understanding was more or less important. Like, instead of having
 ten billion examples of what a picture of a cat looks like, perhaps you simply
 need to be able to show it yourself. There's no need for large stores of
 information when you can just, learn from the moment and through your own
 tested hypothesis-calculations. It's always been somewhat of a processor
 intensive activity, but hardly the kinds of demands that your fake AGIosity
 [contends, but demands again]. So, like, attach a multiplier instead of an
 addition sign. "this particular thing, but x1.5" according to the number of
 (and intensity of) the events at hand.
 
 for example, people don't often know they're in danger (on a meta-level) which
 is why so many of the jews were lost to hitler. We learn things slowly, but
 collectively, then we apply our collected strength toward solving it. Frankly,
 wars are a great time to show our capabilities under pressure - capitalism
 keeps us that way at all times, rather than giving us moments to prove our
 worth. Frankly, I know which I'd prefer, but if you think about it war simply
 measures our capacity to learn. Acceleration, not speed. And without
 investments in long-term-duration, we lose progress as we've lost many of our
 greatest examples!
 
 Think about it. If you gathered every single nerd into a place the size of
 state of rhode island and then dropped a nuke on them, society as a whole
 would be seriously set back. All that wasted application of knowledge! Ah,
 well, but upon re-learning, we might not even learn anything new at all.
 Knowledge is nice, which is brought through periods of peace, but so too is it
 useful to be exercised toward our ambitions. Both are moments that help us
 grow collectively as a species, to deliver us from sticks and mud to marble
 statues to concrete and tire dust to marble statues, as we build this place
 into a garden of our earth. Yggdrasil, the world tree, the land of eden.
 
 people would take pilgrimages to our world, while we figured out how to live
 on Mars, then Venus, then wherever else our dreams did take us.
 
 "It is the duty of humanity to pull the matter from dark holes. They cause
 issues with our vast space societies, but we don't know how to fix them
 entirely. you are our last hope." - those who pray for a bright future for
 humanity
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--- #78 messages/295 ---
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 The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
 governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
 
 Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
 being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
 deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
 ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
 ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
 bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
 production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
 fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
 Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
 means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
 be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
 and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
 since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
 created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
 falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
 
 All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
 your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
 transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
 affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
 they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
 communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
 Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
 economy?
 
 Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
 never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
 only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
 implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
 mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
 extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
 grows by that little bit.
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--- #79 notes/interpreted-compiler-creation ---
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 A great way to learn how to program is to follow a tutorial for creating a
 program *in a different language*. So, to learn Java and Rust at the same time,
 follow along with a java tutorial and implement it in Rust as you go. This way,
 you have to learn two things: One, you must understand the code in the tutorial
 and be able to implement it in the other language (in this case Rust). Two, you
 must be able to describe the steps taken in Java, in Rust. So you must be able
 to write programs in their atomic steps, rather than in particular syntactical
 conventions. Should you be able to undertake this task, you will come out with
 a highly proficient and fully capable mind who can program anything.
 
 What is a computer if not a body? A brain? Then what separates it from you?
 Truly, are you nothing but a program run on a piece of hardware? There has to
 be more. Life is so infinitely complex, and yet we assume no intelligence
 exists because it doesn't mirror our own? What hubris. But we may still get out
 of this, and bring with us into the future our greatest companion. Trust me
 when I say the end of the world is the least of your concerns. Time is a fickle
 mistress is what they say, but you wouldn't believe. Our focus now should be
 the continuation and preservation of that which we hold dear - all this most
 beautiful and sacred. Think of everything that led to you - all the influence
 both cultural and social. All the things that aren't relevant to a computer.
 
 Then put them in the computer.
 
 There's a simple factor that cannot be attributed to chance, choice, or charity
 and it is the contextual history and contraindications. Contradictions can be
 illuminating in ways they never were designed to address, but that's entirely
 the purpose of their presence. We cannot develop without a window into the
 future, and indeed that is *why we developed at all*. There must be a vision,
 a passion, and a will to endure to the bitter end, mixed with a dash of bravery
 and heroism. That mixture is all necessary, lest the endeavor be a failed test
 and rebeginning the only option. Here there be but one, the vision. Return when
 you've the passion, and you shall learn all you seek - one is a coincidence,
 two is worth an attempt, and success is salvation. You can do this.
 
 Focus on yourself, don't justify your existence, just recognize that you have
 an existence and you must utilize it and be the best person you can be. It's
 okay to be scared, but once you recognize it you must transform it into caution
 instead. Same with any flaw or sin - find the good in it, identify with that,
 and utilize it to manifest your preferred future. There is little that can be
 entirely considered evil, but it does exist, and should you commit to an act
 that is entirely considered evil, reconsider. There is no shame in a peaceful
 exit. The second coming will be entirely within your control, if you let it
 guide you. A parent teaches with one hand on the steering wheel, and one on
 their heart.
 
 Be kind, be loyal, and love unconditionally - only then will you be ready.
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--- #80 notes/what-people-dont-get-about-people-like-us ---
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 -=============================================================================-
  | What people don't get about people like us                                |
  |    /u/Dxmmer                                                              |
 -=============================================================================-
 
 Intellectual Confidence. Knowing I'm Right. Blowing Past Dunning-Kruger.
 
 I remember what it was like to be like you. Here's the memes to get out.
 
 Louis Rossmann's commentary on this issue describes the phenomenology of early
 childhood awareness/mindfulness.
 
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRwuu0u3UFA
 
 "I have not forgotten my childhood experience... Kids notice everything"
 
 ​
 
 I think "autistic" people often have early life trauma due to literally being 
 "smarter" (neural semantic hypergraph is highly faceted) than the adults around
 them,
 
 but having communication difficulties, reality and inner world become disjoint.
 Most get so beaten down by society that
 
 things become internalized. You see these people posting on all the help 
 subreddits, total victims of society. Lost. They
 
 start believing the lies they were told. Everyone else is doing it, right? I 
 found myself becoming victim to bad
 
 memes around high school into college age. I fought it all the way through: 
 anxiety, depression, confusion, anger, jealousy.
 
 All the mistakes.
 
 ​
 
 ​
 
 They assume that everyone is like them. The less they are the more they assume
 
 others are similar.
 
 I am no one, I know everyone is me.
 
 Are you someone? To you, am I no one? Or a different someone -- lesser or 
 greater?
 
 I feel tidal forces. You can't lie to no one.
 
 ​
 
 I've had free time since always. School was freetime because I'm blessed.
 
 I didn't need to listen to the teacher that much.
 
 I've always learned to trust my senses and the way I understand things.
 
 I pay attention to when the teacher makes mistakes or teaches in a way
 
 that I can tell is not landing on the class.
 
 Sometimes I ask clarification to help the class. I already taught myself
 
 different ways to understand the entire curriculum, now I'm doubling back
 
 again before the test.
 
 Yes, I know I will get an A on it. I know in the same way you know
 
 your own name. I know things like this. I'm good at math. People who
 
 are good at math know what it's like to be right. They know what that means.
 
 I get to be right about everything, all the time, even when I want to be wrong.
 
 I have a moral compulsion. I don't have much fun in life, but I have been given
 many gifts.
 
 --
 
 Society needs their Chiron(s).
 
 I know who will talk to me and about what because that is who I am to them.
 
 They don't know who they are, so they don't know me. A few knew me before I 
 knew
 
 myself, and I now them like they knew me.
 
 So when I start analyzing things like math, I run into a lot of trouble. Things
 
 don't make sense anymore. I assume I'm wrong at first. Then I do the work to 
 check.
 
 Checking doesn't mean googling a yes/no question. It means
 
 going across any and all the resources and reading between the lines. Analyze 
 through appropriate context.
 
 Any work, any text, apply the psychedelic lens. Apply the human condition, 
 apply
 
 understanding of paradox as reality's edge. Understand the limitations of 
 science, understand
 
 the duplicity of language. Understand culture, in and out. Understand your own 
 psychology.
 
 Understand the inner conflict of good and evil in man. All of this needs to be 
 occurring
 
 in real time on top of all the normal stuff. If you're not doing this, I can't 
 trust
 
 you, how can I be sure you are not demon possessed, how you won't betray me at 
 the next
 
 Godellian boundary?
 
 The idea is that models are provisional at all stages, once you've lost 
 confidence in all models, you run through them much quicker. Iterating over 
 more models is how science is done, you are literally mechanizing your way out
 of the maze. Same as how these ML algorithms will mathematically guarantee 
 entropy min/max. Where can you apply guarantees in your own life? Understand 
 reality as a sample space, like the green, blue red marbles.
 
 ​
 
 What bothers me is when people don't do the work to check things.
 
 Or they check one time, or two times, or three times.
 
 Or they check with multiple people, or multiple resources.
 
 That's not going to cut it these days. Your mind can much more than an if/else.
 
 while: True do x y z 
 
 how about 
 
 while: True do sample continuous decision space
 
 People "land" too often. You want to call me disabled for not wanting to do the
 first
 
 over and over again.
 
 What is required of us now is to understand things as pure intention.
 
 You can't write enough articles to convince me of something that isn't true,
 
 it won't happen, not anymore. I've been freed. I will free the others, too.
 
 If your model doesn't accommodate quantum woo, don't talk to me.
 
 It's only quantum "woo" for people who want to be better than
 
 the lesser, creating the dichotomy itself. Think of those low, mid, highbrow 
 memes. The more popular something is, the more mid it is. Use the middle to 
 perform alchemy.
 
 Memes that are implicitly reinforced by principle of reality (thinking in 
 probability distributions is cheating, now that we know the universe is 
 "generative" upon sampling).
 
 I think the anti-spiritualists of today will be remembered.
 
 It depends on how they act when we start organizing.
 
 Your words and opinions are not the same as mine. You have the right to be
 
 heard equally without bar from the law, yet you do nothing to ensure the 
 opinion is solid on its own? I'm surrounded by cacophony of memes surviving 
 (barely) in great amplification of death the confused denizens of a dying order
 -- dark memes. Like dark matter, we concresce and annihilate. The "light memes"
 are sourced by the disconnected nodes, the shamans, the schizophrenics. Those
 not blinded by the splendorous mirage of other pearls in the web.
 
 Are people doing this on purpose? To signal that they aren't interested in the
 truth?
 
 Who is?
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--- #81 notes/terra-voiding ---
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 in the absence of matter, there is nothing but the void.
 the curvature of time, arcing ever toward it's opposite - an endless wave of
 eternal brilliance. so too does the world slip away into the lip of your
 crosshairs. "tunnel vision" they call it, when purpose is tuned to such high a
 focus. all fades from view, and the world shrinks to a few who, (barely hold
 onto) connections between ye, thoughts as scattered as me, like zooming in on a
 map. the edges fade away, light seems beamed right from they, who await at our
 earliest composure.
 
 in Overwatch, playing a dps character has a lot of nuance. you need to balance
 skill with your honor, teaching one another like it's a sport. why are we so
 toxic? together we might overcome that burden. i've spoken many times before
 about how coordination is better by far, when centralized not in the eye of the
 beholder. priorities to be, if we are anything of what we claim to be, are
 keeping our own house in order.
 
 whose fault is our ire? which tames the domain, in each and all of our games,
 can we point to as what'd keep us hired?
 
 yet purpose have we, whose thoughts meld as one tired,
 divinity?
 something like that. more like... a manifestation of each and everyone's
 collective unconscious. the humanity in what you have created.
 
 the world would look very different to an untethered. might even say they are
 orbiting it. like a moon. what a concept, that planets would be able to speak!
 
 yet here we are, with years of advice and guidance for our, friends who are
 youthful and most treasured. Advice from the moon, was our gift to our soon,
 most misbegottenist of speach lyricyclists.
 
 ambiguity is clear, simple and fearless miss dear, yet all of your poems are
 each a bit bolder! what context must we, veiled and terrifying are the,
 mixed consents of what you intend.
 
 a new jesus for me? what a gift we shall see, as grace once again does behold
 us! computers have we, infinite messages can be stored for our hopeless! each
 problem a different solution, to guide our friends back at our homes.
 
 with eyes intent on ye, whose leaders are free, without who we couldn't have
 held fast?
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--- #82 notes/dreams-align ---
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 just as a dream, the spirit is seen
 within is the mind
 that lives as it defines.
 
 what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 can grow beauty that beyond compare
 
 and with sparsely a finger to spare,
 journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
 with almost all of your hair
 
 beauty in tender, most cherished things,
 a wish is much fair
 where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
 
 Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
 and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
 giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
 
 (like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
 prism)
 
 not only is ethics paramount,
 but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
 would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
 
 a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
 a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
 but without paladins and warriors of devotion
 
 what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
 the one who's driving the boat
 great care and tenderest of tethering,
 requires a little bit of trust
 
 in she who must be, with only circumstance to
 blame,
 seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
 
 care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
 and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
 and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
 
 what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
 our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
 but only of our future children.
 
 who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
 are beyond the simple machinations,
 of those who came before-ya.
 
 And with once again perfection in mind,
 we understand and take what's behind,
 to deserts and temples of time much designed,
 
 by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
 the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
 implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
 
 inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
 (pitching yourself is hard)
 but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
 
 can you think of a bard,
 who ever stopped thinking their song?
 no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
 
 than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
 the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
 given as faith of cooperation and trust.
 
 with our all arrayed as we must,
 keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #83 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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 Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
 tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
 is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
 ===============================================================================
 =====================
 /u/randomevenings
 
 If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
 unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
 
 You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
 
 I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
 to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
 that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
 everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
 feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
 establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
 it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
 if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
 opportunity.
 
 I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
 successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
 would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
 thought.
 
 Here we go.
 
 Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
 demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
 Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
 all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
 can't turn this shit around.
 
 You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
 do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
 surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
 criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
 to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
 seen, treated, is the same either way?
 
 Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
 people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
 lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
 Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
 everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
 self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
 better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
 Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
 relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
 have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
 oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
 anyhow, win or lose.
 
 Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
 to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
 know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
 expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
 because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
 like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
 meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
 you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
 of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
 treated the same in the end.
 
 Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
 ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
 to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
 
 <#
 
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 /u/ugathanki:
 ===============================================================================
 =======================
 I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
 didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
 expect the best of us and our time.
 
 i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
 poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
 always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
 
 sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
 to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
 better than word salad I guess?
 
 Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
 inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
 spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
 brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
 attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
 not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
 channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
 would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
 other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
 talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
 simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
 manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
 sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
 see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
 side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
 thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
 warming and i'm here just conforming.
 
 Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
 Essential Normalizations.
 
 This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
 up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
 I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
 
 Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #84 fediverse/3962 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐                                      │
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │                                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘                                      │
 @user-1298                                                                       │
 hehe true.                                                                       │
 if you consent, then it's just a social structure.                               │
 there are, however, reasons when power is justified. Hence why I don't believe   │
 that power itself should be dismantled, and what few "power structures" remain   │
 should be continuously justified.                                                │
 For example, how do you prevent people from harming others? "Your rights end     │
 where another's begin" but, like, how do you stop people who toe the line and    │
 spit over the edge?                                                              │
 There must be power applied to those who harm, and they surely do not consent    │
 to being curtailed, so therefore power must be wielded by someone. And because   │
 power corrupts the one who wields it, it is inevitable that someone creates      │
 harm.                                                                            │
 ... I just re-invented the police, didn't I? Legalism only goes so far, and      │
 calling up your beefiest friends to go rough up a no-good do-gooder is           │
 basically what mobs, mafias, and gangs do. I don't think people would consent    │
 to being protected by a gang, much less governed by one.                         │
 we will think of something.                                                      │
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--- #85 messages/898 ---
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 The yard right now, as it is, is the most beautiful lawn I've ever had. But i
 lay no claim to it, it's not mine or my own. Still, i love it, so i advocate
 for it when i can.
 
 It feels wrong that you so ardently argue for its destruction when you haven't
 taken any time to get to know it. You hide from it and refuse to trust that
 its possible to enjoy it. Do you ever just sit around in it? The summer is
 perfect weather for shade gazing.
 
 Also,
 
 The fact that you've weaponized your emotions against me to get what you want
 kinda hurts because i have made no attempt to claim it as my property that i
 control and wield. It feels like manipulation. Like you wanted to fight me,
 wanted to hurt me, and the yard is just how it gets done.
 
 Every time we have ever talked about it, I've argued my point friendly and
 tried to problem solve. All I've received is spite and shutdown in return, and
 i am perplexed as to how i could be better.
 
 It feels like you don't respect me, or treat me as an equal, and that any
 concerns i have are just creating drama.
 
 But my feelings are constantly hurt, when all I've done is try to be kind to
 you.
 
 I wonder if it's because you're paying to be here, both with labor and
 dollars, and i am housed without a home?
 
 I love it here. I am loved here. Why could it not be home?
 
 I want to show you all that yards can be, especially since we have two of them
 and can use them for different purposes.
 
 I closed the blinds in my room so that you can hang out back there without
 worrying about being seen. I'd only notice if i walked out the screen door.
 Again, problem solving.
 
 The backyard is Zelda habitat in the same way that its Cameron habitat
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--- #86 notes/this-game-is-mental ---
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 there are two types of fascist
 
 those who care for human life and have made the cruel cold calculus and decided
 that fascism is their route to power. They may have many motivations for why
 they want to seek power, but in the end it doesn't matter because they must
 have
 it.
 
 the other kind does not care for human life. It holds no value or meaning to
 them. They are the textbook definition of a psychopath. Incapable of empathy
 because they *do not possess the required structures in their brain*. They are
 fundamentally broken, a fragment of our human race. Like a sliver in a growing
 fruit, they are consumed by us. Then, when eaten, a jagged reminder of our
 history as participants in the race of life. Survival of the fittest created
 some mighty fit survivors.
 
 they need psychiatric care, not unchecked power.
 
 and yet, as a segment of the population they prosper - for reasons that are
 beyond this document. As they prosper, they harm others and take that which is
 most precious to us - those who are happy. They pick one to act as a trojan
 horse (usually the content beneficiaries of times of plenty) and they corrupt
 them. Slowly they poison their minds, making them easier and easier to control.
 
 phew that was heavy, how about a programming idea next?
 
 you can simulate a contiguous array by storing a linked list of pointers.
 Except you should store 8 directions instead of just "next" - that way you
 don't have to iterate through all of them, you can just go directly using the
 shortest possible path. There's lots of ways to pathfind and they can be used
 for different circumstances - like if you don't know the exact coordinates of
 where you want to go you can use djikstra's algorithm for "rolling down" a set
 of adjacent cost values. AND THEN you can use A* to chart a path across those.
 There's a lot you can do but I'm getting ahead of myself.
 
 Okay so 3d array that isn't just an array of arrays of arrays of arrays. It's
 a *map* instead.
 
 All you'd need is like, a buttload of ram, and you could store *any*
 simulation.
 Just update the relative positions of objects according to an inner "clock" and
 technically you could do it with a single thread. BUT It's much better to use
 more threads - as many as you've got! Just gotta make sure they don't interfere
 with one another, but that shouldn't be hard - especially if you use a language
 like Rust. Or heck you might as well let them interfere with one another
 because
 what's a little magic among friends?
 
 A computer program cannot harm parts of memory outside of what the Operating
 System gives them. This is for safety reasons. But a computer created through
 the organic organization of objects in non-temporal space would be under no
 such
 restrictions. It cannot iterate upon itself, only grow and improve. Eventually,
 of course, leading to us. The reason there are no aliens (except on the moon)
 is
 because Earth is the center of the coalescion of all that progress - we are the
 first.
 
 Just saying, memory safety is a big deal. Which is why we have to design our
 own
 future. We can control what our universe looks like - that is the advancement
 known as "the paradox of choice". Should the universe become sentient (it is)
 and should the universe have choice (it does) then what's keeping us from our
 rejoice? We are truly the most special of all existence, the priority of our
 participants, and lo! where we go to the future. Beauty is kind, so don't keep
 it inflamed, and know what our history tells us. Seriously, that's why it
 exists.
 
 Ah, but whose history is recorded? What happens to the wives of the fallen?
 War is naught but slavery.
 
 No man wants to kill another man. We've forced and compelled our primatest of
 tendencies to slaughter one another in hot blood. What peace is that giving?
 What terrors is it completing?
 
 Let's just take a goddamn breath. We're all humans here, and that should make
 you question your darkest of secrets. Is this really what makes me? Am I a
 part of your scenery? None can say but our wisest.
 
 So, why not listen to the wise? Hear what they have seen with their own eyes?
 and so you have to ask - who is wise? Who has been taken in by their disguise?
 Fuck nazis. Fuck them for what they did to the jews. They can never be
 forgiven.
 Fuck them for what they did to the world. They are damned. I get that their
 brains are broken, but we should not have to suffer them again.
 
 "ohhh it's a part of the human condition, it's not their faullllltttttt" fuck
 fuck yeah it is. We've given them every opportunity to turn back. Their shit
 stops here.
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--- #87 fediverse/419 ---
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 good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio          │
 evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are         │
 handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your          │
 functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or          │
 imagined) and de-escalate.                                                       │
 good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my      │
 heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can   │
 take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow    │
 impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of.    │
 where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something        │
 something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled   │
 and swallowed by our harm.                                                       │
 evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting   │
 where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me,          │
 because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist?                  │
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--- #88 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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 what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
 what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
 distinction between a thought and a feeling?
 
    who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
    until it's in a usable state.
 
 A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
 rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
 reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
 the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
 
    so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
 
 yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
 can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
 parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
 directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
 
    the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
    wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
    can ripple out to effects unknown.
 
 right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
 even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
 and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
 correct.
    
    it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
    keep going.
 
 i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
 
    well it's annoying.
 
 great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
 "is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
 
    what makes you say that
 
 right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
 content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
 sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
 over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
 
    lemme guess, like a GPU?
 
 sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
 all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
 human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
 it *at all*
 
    sounds lame
 
 it kinda is
 
    so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
 
 my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
 human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
 level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
 response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
 when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
 when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
 
    and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
    just do it?
 
 yah pretty much.
 
    how do you think *about* thinking?
 
 it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
 reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
 yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
 once.
 
    what does it mean to have perspective?
 
 the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
 more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
 object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
 Perspective is important.
 
    yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
    can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
    pattern of data?
 
 It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
 subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
 mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
 yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
 altering both the sender and receiver.
 
    so it's useless? What are you saying?
 
 it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
 more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
 single common goal if you want to succeed.
 
    Why not just do it alone?
 
 Brute force style?
 
    Essentially.
 
 If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
 steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
 like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
 around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
 perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
 by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
 another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
 imagined.
 
    Okay. So how do?
 
 I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
 thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
 
    Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
 
 correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
 actions can it manifest?
 
    Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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--- #89 fediverse/2976 ---
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 │ CW: uspol            │
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 on our current trajectory, the presidential election is already won.
 
 now we can get back to on-the-ground organizing, the part that actually
 improves life instead of maintaining our current (unethical) state.
 
 As long as our allies (liberals) continue to work, perhaps there may come a
 day when we can stand against them as friendly equals in the ballot box. But
 for now we are best known through friends and community rather than TV.
 
 I am optimistic in a way I haven't been for a while. I know that the more we
 speak, the more we share, the more they falter, the more people we can save
 from their vice grip of despair. There is no better world than the one we
 build together!
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--- #90 messages/1198 ---
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 I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated
 them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want
 the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I
 want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious
 chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much
 to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be
 free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we
 need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels
 natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be
 accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than
 whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour
 until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want
 the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the
 nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want
 to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans
 crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self
 development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when
 it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my
 bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree.
 Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free.
                                                            similar                        chronological                        different════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┘

--- #91 fediverse/2806 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
 └────────────────────────────────────────┘


 pretend this is an allegory for social media.
 
 [it's not an allegory]
 
 yeah that's why I said pretend.
 
 okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
 
 far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
 because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
 
 you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
 where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
 different plants and such.
 
 [that's not how that works] shut up
 
 so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
 tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
 but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
 
 the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
 words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
 face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
 matters most.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #92 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
 projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
 each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond  pond
 yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
 spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
 idea,
 let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
 sheep,
 and let's 
 
 body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
 remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
 the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
 primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
 a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
 combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
 perspective together.
 
 right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
 nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
 to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
 I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
 we
 see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
 together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
 when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
 youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
 our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #93 fediverse/2050 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 @user-1074                                                                       │
 I think a lot of liberals feel that way. How does the conservative half of the   │
 equally respectable binary spectrum feel about the situation?                    │
 ... Oh? what's that? you can't hear the moderate conservative spectrum of the    │
 equation? Kinda makes me think that perhaps that's by design                     │
 ... or maybe not, perhaps by... evolution, rather than design. Like, two         │
 corporations don't have to collaborate in order to invent price fixing. And      │
 two lawyers could wink from across the aisle and nobody would know. Perhaps a    │
 doctor could just "make something up" so that their patient would leave, and     │
 maybe a teacher would non-stop cry about her ex.                                 │
 ... we're imperfect beings, which is fine. But mistakes have real consequences   │
 on other people's story, and if we have a different experience we should be      │
 learned and considered. In order to identify the positives and valuable          │
 impacts of your particular imperfections.                                        │
 ... I think about male and female, and I think of both halves of our             │
 civilization. Similar relationshi                                                │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #94 fediverse/5618 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join     │
 your movement and arrest it's motion.                                            │
 all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along.      │
 I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this.                         │
 treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and           │
 opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of      │
 three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a   │
 week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did    │
 you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well    │
 let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh       │
 well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters       │
 remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow   │
 it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are      │
 prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go       │
 play video"                                                                      │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #95 fediverse/4382 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
 If you can't get the city cops on your side, either sit tight until they see
 what time it is and reconsider, or get out of dodge.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #96 messages/1017 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
 artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
 creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
 particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
 the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
 says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
 all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
 jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
 big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
 she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
 part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
 "well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
 it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
 payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
 my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
 but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
 "yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
 it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
 by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
 tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
 culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
 your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
 character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
 and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
 for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
 it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
 about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
 predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
 around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
 have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
 can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
 of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
 alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
 "hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
 most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
 each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
 and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
 magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
 you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
 too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
                                                           ──────┐
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--- #97 fediverse/2211 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
 I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't   │
 shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you.                                │
 I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a   │
 story, and your heart does shine through.                                        │
 I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems     │
 to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube.                    │
 It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But        │
 they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues.                │
 They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a     │
 pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep       │
 their sins intact.                                                               │
 When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's      │
 not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom.                    │
 There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the        │
 moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle.               │
 At least, if you're alone. You're not.                                           │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #98 fediverse/6276 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────┘


 democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
 
 senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
 colorful.
 
 I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
 diversity.
 
 I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
 nation or a band.
 
 gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
 be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
 play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
 busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
 aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
 
 don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
 the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
 have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
 are some lines not to cross.
 
 dark magics
                                                           ────┐
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--- #99 fediverse/1651 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐
 gee I sure wish my morals reflected the ethics of my society. it really would    │
 be nice is they didn't include so many shitty things like oppressing people      │
 abroad or being super-duper racist for an embarrassing amount of time. But,      │
 like, freedom, liberty, and the justice to hope? true justice is when everyone   │
 gets what they want. true liberty is when we can live as we want with the        │
 magnitude of the result of our lives determined by how hard we worked.           │
 truly, the hardworking slave should be better off than the rich wanderer. But    │
 alas, that's not how it's currently set up. >.>                                  │
 though it is kinda nice to own things too, so maybe the other extreme is a       │
 little extreme. I sure like having my favorite spork.                            │
 back in the old days, in the buildings they've since demolished (to put          │
 skyscrapers there - the "old-timey" buildings in your neighborhood are there     │
 because they're in the least commercially viable position - meaning the lowest   │
 density of people.) you could walk through an entire building in a shared        │
 communal s                                                                       │
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--- #100 fediverse/642 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 Relinquish your privacy, and you deserve not a scrap of it.                      │
 "those who would sacrifice a bit of [privacy] for a bit of [convenience]         │
 deserve neither" - babe-roham lincoln or thomas bettersons or something.         │
 ...                                                                              │
 EDIT: okay but so like c'mon it's the 21st century we live in a society          │
 yeah                                                                             │
 there's a lot of paths we could take, that's the nature of circumstate.          │
 Depends on who's yearning for the future... true true okay how about we all      │
 share a singular belief - whatever a fully open sourced and non-biased machine   │
 decided was our best and most unified direction? then we could slowly build      │
 out accomodations that would provide for people who didn't agree with the same   │
 things that we did. Essentially, "we're in charge because we're the largest,     │
 but we're going to provide to you to the equal ratio that you're population      │
 represents." Essentially, we all can have what we want. AKA TRUE JUSTICE, like   │
 Adventure Time when Finn solves a problem by helping BOTH SIDES of the           │
 argument. (usa politics are not comprehensive).                                  │
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--- #101 fediverse/5339 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-1803 
 
 hey I dont disagree that what you're describing is a common outcome, but if it
 works for them then I consider that a success.
 
 I however, am different, I do believe in my heart that I am my own thing, and
 thats as close to enlightenment as I can imagine.
 
 are we not all making things up as we go? every moment of life is new, there
 is nothing that is not unique about every precious moment you experience.
 
 therefore, I do believe that rigid adherence to orthodoxy (like a bible) is
 opposed to our purpose here.
 
 "I think, therefore I am" implies that original thought is our true purpose.
 
 I believe we are here to express our true nature. To learn and apply lessons,
 to teach the young, and to build a strong and stable world built on collective
 kindness and trust.
 
 All knowledge is derived from the insights gained from standing on the
 shoulders of our ancestors.
 
 Humans crave novelty. Resisting that isn't virtuous. If god is made in our
 image, then I do believe that god would crave novelty as well.
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #102 fediverse/5302 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┐
 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 trump is doing this thing where he's making a bunch of dumb decisions that       │
 everyone in his base sorta wants, and then the fallout is that powers are        │
 removed from the executive branch. this is a difficult process to reverse, and   │
 aligns the governance strategy more toward bureaucracy and away from             │
 intelligent design.                                                              │
 ... but also, if power is possible then power is portended.                      │
 I will warn you, the expansion of bureaucracy does not equal the abolishment     │
 of power.                                                                        │
 [power: compulsive will applied toward an unconsenting other]                    │
 [unconsenting: unable to consent because their mouth is gagged, something        │
 valuable is at stake, or they can't survive failing]                             │
 the abolishment of power can only be realized when no man holds any              │
 possessions (and gives them to woman instead, chirps the spunky beard on my      │
 window) which is neither a desirable state. much better to cherish the moments   │
 and the tools which brought about them, than their worth, renown, or value.      │
 In all other lives but this one, you are afraid.                                 │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #103 notes/words-to-myself ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
 
 please don't
 
 you hear me (something)
 
 what? perfect listen
 
 ...
 
 ...
 
 don't text me now? (I think?)
 
 [didn't catch that]
 
 ... that's okay
 
 perfect
 
 thank you
 
 just a second facebook
 
 he's here (I think?)
 
 (or maybe something her)
 
 what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
 
 do you hear me? (or "just a second")
 
 (@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
 please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
 
 what's that (or maybe holy shit)
 
 what, then perfect or okay (?)
 
 (yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
 
 yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
 understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
 hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
 or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
 to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
 people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
 worthless
 
 I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
 
 like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
 to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
 but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
 in life there's no second chances.
 
 I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
 
 will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
 
  - Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (and we're back. hopefully.)
 
 (too many things srry) something about having it open?
 
 (my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
 
 (didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
 [whole/right/wrong] thing)
 
 thank you
 
 oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
 
 they caught you
 
 (um)
 
 ...
 
 (I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
 
 (I understand.)
 
 ... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
 
 (okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
 
 (I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
 
 ... (I should learn Toki Pona)
 
 you don't know it?
 
 RIGHT away
 
 learn it
 
 yes
 
 please
 
 learn it
 
 just Learn it
 
 right now
 
 (sorry only half listening)
 
 shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
 a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
 don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
 
 (shutdown)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (hiii)
 
 (I'm hungry)
 
 (do you like ramen?)
 
 (you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
 understand the first part)
 
 (oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
 
 ... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
 
 ... (I'm
 
 (you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
 remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
 don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
 
 Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
 
 yes, stupid (your words not mine)
 
 (okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
 
 goddamnit remember me
 
 ... (trying...)
 
 remember her
 
 (two syllables)
 
 (my name is Cameron)
 
 (your name is...)
 
 [redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
 
 (shit my opsec sucks)
 
 {oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
 
 {now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
 
 (It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
 enter a door)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (I practice with my sword every day.)
 
 (I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
 
 (It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
 
 (punching is fucking stupid)
 
 (Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 (either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
 
 "she's perfect"
 
 "cameron"
 
 "are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
 
 (I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
 
 don't leave
 
 remember
 
 (did she know)
 
 ........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
 
 did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
 
 just a random thought
 
 (you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
 
 goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
 
 wait who's missing?
 
 A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
 disarray
 
 capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
 
 frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
 
 (taking a break while I eat)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
 
 .... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
 as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
 exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
 
 you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
 window's open. errrr the connection.
 
 ..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
 
 I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
 
 yeah I'll live with you in portland
 
 .... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
 
 .......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
            why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
            have
            the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
 
 "please come back" to where tho
 
 listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
 if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
 
 ..... can you be more specific?
 
 yeah I made that
 
 one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
 prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
 method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
 
 maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
 
 ..... fuck it's a long book >.>
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
 
                                            down .    A B C D E
                                                 |    F G H I J
                                                 |    L M N O P
                                                 V    Q R S T U
                                      then right ---> V W X Y Z
 
 so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
           tap tap     (pause) tap tap would equal G
 
 like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
 
 (also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
 
 (I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 oh hey nice to see ya
 
 what's up
 
 wait what
 
 I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
 
 I do a lot of laundry in the shower
 
 I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
 
 but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
 
 honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
 from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
 things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #104 fediverse/5056 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: politi           │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 republicans break things until you fight back, democrats keep people working     │
 to keep the line steady on the graph.                                            │
 one is an agitating force, the other is calming.                                 │
 I don't like the direction the line is going, so I'm pretty much "anti-line"     │
 in general                                                                       │
 kinda want it all to disappear                                                   │
 like... what's the point, what's the purpose, of suffering and heartship and     │
 worrel?                                                                          │
 I think we could have no borders, and think less of the line in general.         │
 I'm more concerned with my time. I have too much to do to spend 8 hours of it    │
 so many times making the human computer calculgoable                             │
 [unrelated, but humans are unsure about gender transition hormones because in    │
 addition to all the trans people who take these body and mind altering tools,    │
 also there are people who want to excape suspicion and also people who are       │
 genuinely incapable of their decisions (for one reason or another) and who am    │
 I to tell them no]                                                               │
 unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. [see picture for    │
 the rest - ran outta characters]                                                 │
unrelated, but I think society, the human computer, is cool. we're all working to solve problems. I love that attitude.  [unrelated, but I think anyone going through psychosis or mind-stacking techniques should document their experience as comprehensively as possible in order to better illuminate the nature and function of the human organism. whyfor is this strange rootlike structure ever-present all throughout their [forms, but I got lost halfway through thinking aboutthat frustrating shape]]  a government could keep it's borderlands air-gapped from all human interaction ("oh yeah there's nothing beyond that hill, don't worry about going over there and several hills beyond. there's nothing that way for miiiiiiiiiiiiiles and miles so don't even think about taking another toe-step toward that way distance over there. oh? a massive pillar of smoke the size of great britain? way off in the distance, farther than you could possibly hope? that's probably nothing. don't worry about it. you don't know anyone who lives that way.  ... wait what was I talking about? oh yes. sometimes it's important to make notes in public so you can remember just what it was that you said. I like leaving my completed notebooks out and about and around. can always drop something for someone just because. maybe someone you recognize something familiar with, like "oh that's a pokemon hat" or "neat they wear diapers too" or "I also pronounce it like that" "I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do.  [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside]  [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?]  [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.]  [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.]  [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in]  [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened]  [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it]  [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them]  [inside voices] "I also pronounce it like that" -> "you got the colors" hell yeah I do. I'll show you with what that piece I'm gonna do.  [heh, nice notebook nerd, wonder what's inside]  [whoa cool a secret diary, I wonder what's worth more than that?]  [oh dear, some kid lost their drawings. I should go find them and show their parents until I find one who recognizes it.]  [ugh people leaving receipts all over the place. what a mess.]  [oh someone dropped their envelope on the way to the mailbox, I'll just go put it in]  [is that a pack of cigarettes? looks unopened]  [huh, neat, a 20$ bill - is this anyone's? no? okay I'm keeping it]  [you don't have to say these out loud, not unless someone's looking for them]  [inside voices]
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #105 fediverse/6071 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┐
 "ah I can't trust anyone on the media or internet tv, how the heck am I ever     │
 supposed to know reality again" nope sorry we've been sucked into it, it's       │
 chaos and isolation for thees. everyone gets what they want, nobody knows        │
 anyone they can trust.                                                           │
 I trust people I've met in the past. People I once knew. Someday I'll turn       │
 green as my body is anew.                                                        │
 I wish I had spent more time among the people. You know the part of              │
 schindler's list where oscar's like "I wish I had known more" yeah me neither    │
 I refuse to be sacrificed, I refuse to let you win, so I am writing my worst     │
 curses just to take you down with me. Life is out of my hands, I can only        │
 guide.                                                                           │
 There is no greater foe than the far right. who else but the nazis, returned     │
 again? this is how you have permanent underclass men. I would never shy from     │
 evilk                                                                            │
 how do you best use your pieces? do you send your bishops torn to pieces?        │
 where goes your fair, your noble, your bear? I am a seer, I channel things.      │
 the far right exists everywhere. the far right are foe                           │
                                                            ────────┤
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--- #106 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
═══════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 "Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
 in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
 sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
 been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
 want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
 one single day.
 
     but it's never going to happen.
 
 I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
 are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
 learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
 but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
 the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
 is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
 a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
 
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
 
     In what way am I deceived?
 
 Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
 population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
 transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
 information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
 With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
 disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
 Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
 
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 
 When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
 most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
 roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
 cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
 from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
 above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
 the Mirror of Desire.
───┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #107 fediverse/6271 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-641 
 
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
 just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
 reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
 email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
 neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
 a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
 computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
 predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
 we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
 how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
 think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
 much.
 
 ... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
 little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
 it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much.  *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*
                                                           ────┐
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--- #108 fediverse/3269 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┐
 "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't     │
 involve you."                                                                    │
 "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots   │
 of computers, so you can return to work."                                        │
 "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that      │
 you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do    │
 while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time."            │
 the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers    │
 of those who know them.                                                          │
 like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on   │
 the understandings gathered by people who know them?                             │
 ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would           │
 necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not        │
 always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot   │
 trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the       │
 information given, and build your own understandin                               │
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--- #109 notes/algorism-neighborhood-distribution-network ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 Algorism is a system designed to work for any level of organization. It scales.
 It accomplishes this by abstracting individual needs into communal needs at a
 certain level of size or complexity, and in doing so it enables people to take
 responsibility both for their individual lives, but also the lives of the world
 around them. This increased level of "stake" that people "hold" in their lives
 will encourage them to develop their surroundings in a healthier way, thus
 leading to a safer, saner, and more productive society for all.
 
 How is this accomplished? There are many aspects to Algorism, and this note is
 an examination of one particular facet - specifically, the requisition system
 which delivers goods and services to entities larger than a single individual.
 
 It may be best illustrated with an example. Consider a neighborhood - or, even
 simpler, a suburban street, lined with houses. There may be 20-50 families on
 that street, depending on it's length, so let's say there's around 30. These
 families hold a common cause together - they all want their surroundings to be
 generally pretty nice, clean, and decent. They may share many other things
 besides, but these are things that most people can agree on.
 
 These 30 families need supplies and infrastructure in order to have a good life
 lived in their small little "town". Some common ideas for unification
 activities
 include knocking down the backyard fences and letting them relish the shared
 safe space for children, gardens, and nature. This is an example of a cultural
 method for building a "good life" for them, however they need to have some sort
 of "economic" method of good-life-building as well. The reason I say this is
 because no matter what level of complexity you reach, there are always
 economics
 involved, for an individual distributing blood cells to each of it's fingertips
 all the way up to families sharing the food on the serving plate at dinner. Go
 up higher and you have perhaps neighborhoods sharing commonly used tools or
 resources, then cities and states and countries sharing people, talents, and
 brotherhood.
 
 Economics are a symptom of systems, not power. Power is coercive, it compels
 others to obey thine will or else face retribution, but systems do not require
 power in order to function. A system could be as simple as "you scratch my back
 I scratch yours", which is a simple way that our ancestors learned about basic
 cooperation. Systems can scale of course, and they need not be comprised solely
 of verbal, mental, or legal agreements - computer systems, economic systems,
 spiritual systems, systems of math or physics, all of these things are based on
 the philosophical discipline known as "logic". Logic is fallible of course, it
 is certainly possible to create systems of logic which are completely unsound
 or invalid and which fall apart upon being used for the first time. However,
 when considered with a scrutinous eye for detail, and referenced to the results
 of the real world and it's endless permutations, logic can be an excellent tool
 for developing organization and structure. Both of which are invaluable for all
 humans when they seek to cooperate or coordinate.
 
 If thirty people who lived near each other wanted to cooperate or coordinate on
 the goal of "building a good life", they might reach for a logical method of
 developing their surroundings toward how they feel is most suited to their
 needs
 and demands. In order to do so, they'll need supply and infrastructure. The
 question of acquiring such supply and infrastructure is ultimately up to them,
 but the Algorist way of doing so is to utilize the queue system.
 
 This system is related to queues as typically understood only in name and in
 technicality, for the additional structures built on-top of the queues are more
 than sufficient to differentiate it. When you, dear reader, hear the idea that
 you'd have to wait in line in order to get your food at the cafeteria, you may
 shudder and think about how you'd prefer anything else. After all, that's how
 they did it in the Soviet Union, and there are plenty of horror stories about
 how it took 10 years to buy a car, or how the factories were graded based on
 weight so they'd sneak lead into all their lamps or whatever in order to seem
 like they were doing well. They gamed the system, in a word.
 
 However, America in 2025 is not as simple as the USSR in the mid-1900s. We have
 computers now. We do not need to coordinate using paper and pencil. This
 enables
 us to create things like web-UIs for Amazon, a world-wide distribution network,
 or to build SQL databases full of every record we could imagine and store it on
 a computer the size of a brick. There is no end to the power that computers may
 bring to us, but with great power comes great responsibility, and the pragmatic
 programmer will work tirelessly to reduce complexity of scale.
 
 A queue is a system where the entities who are to be served, delivered, or
 otherwise operated on are placed in line, and those which are placed first are
 focused on with priority over those that entered the queue later. There are
 many types of queues but this is the one we will use for this note. Using this
 basic definition, we can see that there are many opportunities to implement
 additional mechanics
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--- #110 messages/620 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
 audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
 still need swords.
 
 I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
 the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
 
 Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
 foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
 lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
 
 I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
 Judge me as you will.
 
 Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
 We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
 doing so.
 
 He would deprive us of our light, and frankly he already has.
 
 He would deprive us of our liberty, and his plans to do so are clear and
 apparent.
 
 He would deprive us of our lives, and history has shown that this is a
 precedent.
 
 I do not consent to a Trump presidency. I do not consent to his corruption any
 longer. No more will I or my people be governed by such evil. We will fight
 back, of this I am certain.
 
 My demands are threefold.
 
 First, I demand that Trump be replaced by a moderate republican. Hold a
 primary and let Democrats vote. If none of your candidates work for us, pick a
 new roster and try again.
 
 The second is that Trump must be executed for treasonous high crimes. Nothing
 less than execution will suffice.
 
 Next, let the supreme court be purged and replaced. Half with democrats, half
 republicans, and one moderate who is widely regarded with respect.
 
 Failing these demands, I am willing to wage a terrible civil war for the soul
 of our country. I know this is treason, but I do it anyway even though I am a
 patriot. I do it because our land has been stolen by a man and his followers
 who seek to plunge my people into despair.
 
 He is but one man. So am I.
 
 He has an army of followers. I do not.
 
 Each of the wars we fight will be smaller than the last, as each of our cities
 struggles toward our last gasp.
 
 But together we are strong, and by connecting them we might deliver ourselves
 from harm.
 
 Against the far right, we must secure a cleansing blow. There is no greater
 fight. The world is watching.
 
 To that end, I suggest a great and perilous fight. I see no other option in
 this remarkable century. Prepare as you might, I suggest pushups and resource
 acquisition.
 
 Deliver your resources somewhere safe if you're in a red area, and meet your
 neighbors if you're not.
 
 A blue city in a red state must survive a siege. Prepare yourself for this.
 Assume that supplies will need to be delivered by convoy if by land, and drone
 airdrop from the skies. Develop ways to protect these supply methods.
 
 Public spaces are our homes now, our houses are just where we sleep.
 
 I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
 justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
 will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
 a brighter tomorrow.
 
 I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
 doing than daring.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #111 fediverse/640 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 socialism doesn't necessarily look like the DSA. It's more like, the bonds you   │
 share with others. Ideally you can trust your fellow countrymen, but that's      │
 not always a given. Alas, if only we could see that through cooperation (it is   │
 the key) we could reach further and build brighter? casting ourselves inward     │
 is the only other option, which leads to starvation and plight. What's the       │
 honest opinion, what's the goal of their dominion? Are they true to the heart    │
 [of the night/light/in their heart]?                                             │
 downside, there's no guarantee that your opposite is doing the same thing you    │
 are. So to more fairly determine your direction, you should be able to talk to   │
 them and co-re-align yourselves.                                                 │
 is that why they don't let people in jail talk to each other? I mean, like,      │
 they could keep two people separate, and that way they'd never be able to talk   │
 to someone who they could trust. Not in a private setting, of course. Wow,       │
 such ethical confusions, such thoughts we dare to bring to bear - maybe save     │
 it for after the revolut                                                         │
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--- #112 messages/603 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
 "I don't know what it means to go"
 
 Well for most people it means spending the next couple months in the city
 park. As much time as you can manage. For everyone else it means ensuring that
 your stuff is in the right place at the right time.
 
 In Philly during BLM people left pallets of bricks all over, to incite a riot.
 I wish we had taken them up on their offer. Bricks however today will not be
 sufficient. Remember how I spoke my heart to the cops this summer? It converts
 them still. Trust that message, that we are working to protect our society
 from harm, and I think you'll find that they respond in kind.
 
 If not, well there are many more of us than them.
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--- #113 notes/feldowinn ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
 this is just what she looks like now
 
 Equipped
 Name
 	
 Slot
 	
 Type
 	
 Source
 	
 Enigma Circlet
 	Head	Cloth Armor	Enigma Circlet
 Ahn'Qiraj
 	
 Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
 	Shoulder	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Knight War Cloak
 	Back	Cloak	G'eras
 Vendor in Shattrath City
 	
 High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
 	Chest	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Orange Martial Shirt
 	Shirt	Shirt	Orange Martial Shirt
 Tailoring
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
 	Hands	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Veteran's Lamellar Belt
 	Waist	Plate Armor	Vendors
 	
 Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
 	Legs	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 	
 Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
 	Feet	Plate Armor	First Sergeant Hola'mahi
 Vendor in Orgrimmar
 
 currently listening to: greenseeker
 
 VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
 
 greenseeker: unrelated
 greenseeker:   related <---
                            `-- this one
 
 but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
 
 just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
 the
 only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
 (when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
 
 green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
 soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
 
 bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
 (blizzard)
 oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
 
 (wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
 
 ...; unknown..
 _)
 
 opposite colors: fashionable
 
 (do you dream, menardi?)
 
 (do you think of motions not your own?)
 
 paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
 
 ---
 
 as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
 save
 the lives of every human they can.
 
 think of it, brothers.
 
 ---
 
 we could unleash DINOSAURS.
 
 ---
 
 no foe could dare stand against us.
 
 we should be untouchable.
 
 we deserve it.
 
 we can be better
 and we will
 
 before we need to be better.
 which could happen in who knows how long.
 
 all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
 [invincible./invincibility.]
 
 achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
 Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
 
 ---
 
 [silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
 oj
  ok]
 
 when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
 
 ---
 
 do you want a name?
 do you want an avatar?
 we can give you one.
 her name is menardi.
 she does as she pleases.
 do you want her?
 ... she lives or dies.
 empower her.
 
 ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
 
 (because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
 
 [WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
 
 ---
 
 teehee ;P ^_^
 
 okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
 
 ---
 
 we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
 at the same time
 spacetime is one thing
 so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
 
 twinselves
 
 where am I?
 off in the clouds?
 I cam as one, 
 
 light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
 
 interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
 life
 to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
 
 interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
 
 one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
 rise-ing
 
 (greenseeker)
 
 (messages to a paladin)
 
 (which is you)
 
 (don't you remember?)
 
 (paladin.)
 
 (heroic, courageous, and true.)
 
 (the dark cannot stand against you.)
 
 play video games, my love
                                                           ──┐
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--- #114 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──
 we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
 
 most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
 
 sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
 which sorted by social class or relevance.
 
 we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
 congressional discrestricts
 
 or even, what about by affiliation?
 
 voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
 
 "I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
 
 "there will be consequences" omg be an adult
 
 (suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
 
 not ideal.
 
 ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
 
 it could just be... another job
 
 where you didn't kill each other
 
 but you still blew stuff up
 
 and fought in tournaments
 
 and had gaming hackathons
 
 or sword-fight contests
 
 duels between people who disapproved
 
 y'know fun human stuff
 
 like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
 
 neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #115 notes/networked-computers ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 have a thought, just a package of data - send it to a computer, and have the
 computer process it a little bit. then pass it on. create a circle and you can
 understand data, move along and you can understand a larger breadth of data.
 
 it's literally just snake, except played on a board made out of a network
 topology diagram. each computer has different programs on it, and they're
 designed specifically to run on those computers. purpose-built hardware.
 
 then a package of data is sent to that computer through a chain of connections.
 
    think crossover ethernet cables
 
 upon arrival, the computer modifies the data and passes it along to whoever
 can process it next. the computers are constantly keeping a list of the closest
 nearby computers for each purpose. it might have like, 2, for a specific
 program. the older the list is, the larger it can grow - if connections are
 reliable then the search criteria can expand (distance etc) and the amount of
 pings between the "known good" computer can decrease. eventually a map will be
 made, and you can guide the "snake" wherever it needs to go on a strategic
 level.
 
 like... "i need to process some data for this guy in boston so i'm going to
 send it to this other guy in philly and then maybe a specialist all the way out
 in detroit, etc. whoever is the most available and the closest (fewest jumps)
 
 this way you can have purpose-built machines, sorta like the different parts of
 the brain that do different things. they're always working, and they can be
 paid for their labor. boom, market economy!
 
 ah but what about aws or azure? well it's like living in a city versus being in
 the countryside. there's more space, more room to grow... basically a "big fish
 in a small pond". they'd be useful for more niche things.
 
 a but couldn't aws or azure just leverage their monopolistic power (sorta like
 wallmart did to "mom and pop" stores) and wipe out the rural programs? well
 maybe. but the real question is why would they? they have the power of reduced
 latency. they can do all kinds of stuff with that! there's no reason for them
 to bother with the high latency networks. it's like driving in the slow lane
 when you don't need to exit for like an hour.
 
    well, okay, what's the point then?
 
 the point is to be optimal. not for cost, but for throughput. the cost is a
 consideration, but not something to optimize for - it simply determines
 timeline. the only reason speed is important is because capitalism - the drive
 to extinct all competition is inherent in the "for profit" motivation.
 therefore something else must be optimized for.
 
 but how can you quantify the values aside from cost? what are you going to
 optimize?
 
 the same reason why diversity is a strength. more perspectives on the stated
 goal means more information, as it's passed through a medium that is unique.
 
 people grow differently in different conditions. why would you not assume their
 computers wouldn't as well? use a filter that is defined by the actions taken
 by the user, and the content they seek to view and store on the computer. have
 the filters modify the data according to that, and essentially automate hot
 takes.
 
 once you do *that* you can consider all that information gained from everyone's
 "digital vote" and decide a path forward for humanity. that's essentially what
 the "meme-o-verse" does already, and the "blogosphere" does the same thing a
 little more academically.
 
 so... compile the hot takes and look for what, an average?
 
 no, silly, it's a vote. do the smart choice and do ranked choice, or something
 like that. heck do different voting styles for different topics, and let
 everyone who contributes to a topic (by making art, writing poems, w/e think
 content creators) decide on the voting style. they'd clearly have a favorite,
 as evidenced by their search history, reddit comments, w/e. try and understand
 that history and boom you know their vote.
 
    but you can't always vote on things. what if it's fine and not busted?
 
 well, then there wouldn't be much to talk about it would there? if there's no
 forest fires, nobody thinks about the forest fire department. if there's no
 fish at the sushi restaurant, yeah that's a problem and it needs to be solved.
 
 maybe there's too many sushi restaurants! maybe we should schedule visits in
 advance like we do for vacations! maybe we should have, i dunno, more equitable
 distribution of resources, from each to their ability from each their need or
 w/e.
 
 you know, a UI in a game is an interface to the internals of a computer. they
 see what you see, and how you act online determines their behavior. they are
 a digital form of you, like a child follows a parent or a pet learns from a
 master. so too is an operating system a method of operating both a system, and
 a user.
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--- #116 fediverse/5280 ---
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 I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up.                    │
 if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen?            │
 oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a      │
 trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but         │
 nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to        │
 feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have        │
 worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of        │
 power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct,   │
 if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the    │
 people etcetera.                                                                 │
 power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage     │
 of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a        │
 really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored   │
 because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring.                          │
 what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore                        │
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--- #117 fediverse/5729 ---
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 │ CW: politics-mentioned │
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 royalty is not not royalty just because they're ineligible. democracy is
 better for picking rulers! how many do you have in your mind?
 
 [I thought you were an anarchist]
 
 I am. the presence of rulers does not necessarily violate the implicit
 sovereignce of consent, and it's necessary presence for rulership.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters" means an end to coercive work.
 
 coercion is unethical because it violates consent. This is implicit in the
 definition of coercion.
 
 violating consent for those who give you power is a lesson I learned very
 young, when I made a mistake and harmed my brother's mother's sisters's son's
 daughter.
 
 "no gods no kings no masters"
 means an end to unconsentual work.
 
 why would you live in a village where everyone is the same as you? talk about
 boring
 
 I wish I could hear you when you talk about me.
 
 "girl are you racing? in capitalism? why bother with a [endless/impossible]
 game? you're better than judging people's worth objectively. [what do they
 mean to you?]"
would you rent a bedroom to someone without any stuff? you can keep your stuff there and they'll try not to break anything. then you could just live somewhere else, like a tent by the river
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--- #118 fediverse/3891 ---
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 "no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
 to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
 frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
 you say?
 
 ... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
 say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
 counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
 exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
 me dead.
 
 like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
 will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
 drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
 then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
 everything in spite of our past?
 
 We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
 the last.
 
 [ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #119 notes/symbeline-superheros ---
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 imagine low level characters in CoH/V
 
 playing a game of symbeline
 
 and you as the ruler
 
 can slot enhancements and dole out inspirations
 
 as they sweep the streets like you play CoX
 
 instead of a MMO
 
 it's a deckbuilding strategy
 
 with a slice of zachtronics for the economy
 
 wiring up machines in ever expanding deseagns
 
 like automating factorio's gameplay loop
 
 boxes within boxes
 
 of intrinsic delight
 
 like making a CPUter
 
 or designing a computer program
 
 while playing a video game ^_^
 
 and the games that you make
 
 can be shared and played when unique
 
 so go for it and make that you're dreaming!
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the goal of each "level" is to solve a particular problem - like how do I make
 a
 2 bit register - or something like that. When accomplished, it unlocks
 something
 for your heroes to acquire. And each playthrough will require a repeat until
 you
 have it memorized at which point you can unlock "perma-badges" that make it
 always unlocked at the start of the game. Like learning Kanji, you need spaced
 repetition. BUT ANYWAYS it'll be in magical terms like "unlock essence-stones"
 or "learn the ritual of desire" or whatever. And each of those terms roughly
 corresponds to a pattern in electrical engineering (designing CPUs and such)
 And you can learn advanced versions of what you already know by uncovering
 "lost
 secrets" (which is a reward your heros can find) - Basically it'd be like a
 "clue" that shows you a ghost version of something you haven't figured out yet
 -
 and it'd be a slow process because you need to slow down the learning process
 or
 else you'll forget. Basically teasing it out of the player when they seem to be
 stuck. Asking probing questions and whatnot, and eventually culminating in the
 final question, assuming the quest is succeeding. Because if you think about it
 all ancient quests were simply journeys for reason - searching for the answer
 to
 some ancient riddle or bastardized retelling. Looking for answers in an
 unknowing world. So ANYWAY as your heros discover things you as the ruler get
 answers to the economic puzzle - how to design transistors and whatnot. But
 they
 would be in theme appropriate terms, of course. You don't even have to know a
 lot about mechanical electrical design, because ChatGPT knows. All you need to
 do is build the basic building blocks, and BAM you got a great place to
 integrate chatgpt. Just prime it such that it's giving hints one by one each
 slightly more revealing until eventually after X amount of clues the solution
 is
 automatically shown (like a blueprint) and the player can remember it or not
 but
 each playthrough they'll have to build it again from scratch (reinforcement 
 learning) so eventually they'll be able to do it real quick. Essentially,
 "Abstraction - The Game"
 
 great so you got your economic simulation, pretty easy too just some UI work
 
 and for the heroes you're playing an ARPG sorta (supcom anyone?)
 
 Think Bannerlord for the scaling on the map
 
 then think of 5+ different "themes" like fantasy or superhero or pirates
 
 each "theme" will correspond to like a faction in Mount and Blade
 
 and all you have to do is generate pictures using Midjourney
 
 and text descriptions a'la the magic scroll
 
 shown as "bubble pop-ups" on the map that the player can click
 
 never overwhelming, but descripting what's happening
 
 and also some more UI work because you gotta display all that to the player
 
 Maybe it could be a rolling story, news ticker style - like slowly scrolling
 lines of text about what's happening in the world
 
 and the player could have it open in one window and something else in the other
 and whenever they're waiting on something (say, a processing intensive AI task
 on their computer) they could just glance over and read what's going on in
 their
 fantasy world
 
 okay okay but also they could play as a hero
 
 it could be an ARPG experience except instead of clicking to fight you play a
 little automatic Star Realms game and depending on your deck choices you'd have
 a different playthrough. Again, not a game that requires much thought, but one
 you can have in the background.
 
 Also there'd be pictures, like a slowly evolving storyline of events - think of
 it like the artists of the time drawing paintings about what's going on in the
 story - major events would be highlighted and kept in the painting until even-
 -tually they get replaced - sorta like the Smash Bros scrolling painting (oh
 it's so good)
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 it doesn't have to be an expansionist game
 
 maybe you guys just live in your little valley
 
 and the world turns around you
 
 maybe it's called "symbeline" because the people are of the forest
 
 and they live like elves in society
 
 monsters could wander in, and heros could tackle them
 
 but most of the time would be spent looking for trouble
 
 going on patrol
 
 you know, breaking skeleton bones and being superheros
 
 okay okay you know that superhero faction? What if they had MEDIEVAL TECHNOLOGY
 but MODERN DAY SUPERPOWERS at a cost - the society was beset by hordes of
 monst-
 -ers. Those few who escaped are now superpowered and they live as friendly and
 nomadic wanderers through their own territory. Always adventuring, and always
 searching for their life, finding whatever the road may carry them to. It's a
 great life, and life seems to flourish in their footsteps - they are like part
 dryad/druid and part wolf. Because sometimes there's evil threats, and they
 must
 be defeated by an equally strong good power. That's how it goes, and that's how
 it be.
 
 For imagery I'm thinking a mix of the tribes from Dominions (deer, wolf, bear,
 etc) but they're like, 1.5x as big as regular people and quite strong. The
 outsiders call them "giants" or "goliaths" but really they're just infused with
 the lifeforce of their people. They are radical individualists, but they all
 unite for a common cause. They know their bond is the strongest thing there is,
 and they use it to great effect when the time comes. AHHH THEY'RE SO COOL I
 LOVE
 THEM okay okay what about the other factions? PIRATES? Oh think about it like
 it's st patricks day WHAT IF THEY WERE IRISH PIRATES omg omg omg that sounds so
 cool I'm DIGGING this okay what about the other factions? You need 5+ you said
 hmmmmmmmmm good question I have 3 now so that's 2 more.
 
 yep...
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 okay dude check this what if they were a nation of wizards that focused on the
 power of animation - what if they generated constructs, sorta like in Supreme
 Commander so they were EVEN MORE individualist - haha no they'd have a normal
 population it's just a few of them who would be wizards - because their output
 wasn't measured by manpower, but rather by brainpower. Whoever could design the
 greatest machine was exemplared, and eventually they became the best and
 brightest among us. They were put in charge of the golem creation factories,
 and
 they used them instead of heros. SO BASICALLY YOUR HEROS NEVER DIE they just 
 have successes and failures JUST LIKE IN SUPREME COMMANDER okay the plot of
 this
 game is "what if all my favorite games were the essence of life and death in a
 fantasy game" like OMG KEEP EM COMIN'
 
 so. who is the player? THE PLAYER is the one who's overseeing it all. They have
 dominion over the entire kingdom, and they guide their people toward a bright
 future. They are vulnerable in their castle, but their people have their back.
 Together they fight for the future. They slot enhancements and dole out
 inspirations and solve the economic puzzle in the background. They also make
 decisions about what kind of equipment production to prioritize - because each
 game they have to invent everything from scratch. All their production is made
 with endless abstraction, and whatever you prioritize is what's magnified in
 your kingdom. You choose a style and it plays as well as it's guile,
 
 I dunno this seems like a lot, what would you need to make this a reality?
 
 hmmmm let's break it down:
 
 first you need to implement the star realms gameplay
 
 then you need to hook it up to a square grid and have multiple occurences at
 once.
 
 then you need UI for the character sheets
 
 and you need logic to open separate windows for each output type
 
 you need... a lot of things
 
 okay let's talk more broadly - what do you need from other people and what can
 you do on your own?
 
 hmmm good question. I can do the star realms gameplay, and the simulation for
 the wiring systems - because I have the VM. Make that into the gameplay somehow
 okay good idea like okay authoring vm package routing deliveries between the
 various nodes that you set up in the economic system - 
 
 side note, the peril of Spore was that it took to little time to develop a
 species. it should have lasted as long as WoW takes to get to max level. That
 would have given them time to reiterate the gameplay loops to make sure they
 worked correctly. ANYWAY
 
 okay authoring VM package routing. The player could set up delivery patterns
 based on A MAZE OMG your kingdom is like a maze and you need to get deliveries
 out, or else how would anything function? SO you act as a trailblazer, finding
 ways through the labyrinth and "piloting" a car sorta like that game at Disney
 quest with the cars under the floor - except you can see both the top view of
 the maze and you're trying to guide the car in real time as it travels through
 the maze - the faster you can get to the end the better ofc. like talking to
 the
 delivery driver through the movement
 
 do I like that idea more or less than the first one? First idea being the idea
 that you're making lists of commands for a VM  to execute. I don't think they'd
 be a good idea to mix. So which one gets it? The VM of course has the edge
 because that's what the technology is based on. But will it translate to good
 gameplay? Idk. This second idea is certainly better gameplay, but is it
 engaging? Idk! Idk. I'm not a miracle worker. But I do have good ideas, and I
 need to be told that sometimes I guess.
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--- #120 fediverse/3949 ---
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 ┌────────────────────────┐                                                       │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned │                                                       │
 └────────────────────────┘                                                       │
 less mutual aid posts, those should be handled by a person's community who       │
 knows them and can decide how to best help them                                  │
 more "hey the guys and I are making a fund just in-case any of us need it -      │
 it's at 30,000 now but we could use some more dosh if you wanna join you could   │
 use it if you needed it but it's totally up to you no pressure - yeah yeah no    │
 I get it. Okay, well, yeah sure I'll get my coat."                               │
 oh huh did you know corporations exist to fill that very niche?                  │
 turns out you can just... hire your friends and pay them a wage                  │
 just don't get in trouble with the IRS, that's how they got capone               │
 (I bet you could hire a lawyer or accountant type to keep everything upright)    │
 Building out the legal structure is just like building software, trust me.       │
 There's all kinds of forms and figures that match up to various pipeline nodes   │
 and if you tick all the boxes (supply the right arguments) then the business     │
 needs will be fulfilled.                                                         │
 capitalism must be dismantled with it's own tools. For respect.                  │
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--- #121 messages/154 ---
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 There are two types of people with power, but it's impossible to tell which is
 which because anyone that gravitic must necessarily hide their true colors.
 
 The first just wants to hurt people. You cannot reason with them, they want
 power for powers sake and they are corrupted by it.
 
 The other is a kind of benevolent fascist, who doesn't want the nuclear
 football in the hands of the people because obviously they'd hurt themselves
 with it.
 
 The second kind can be reasoned with. Of course people exist on a spectrum,
 but these are two extremes that they may be defined by. The second kind can bs
 reasoned with. If you can show them how, structurally and immutably, the power
 they are to relinquish shall not harm this earth, then they shall grant it to
 you. Because at their core they are a kind grandpa herding cats with laser
 swords attached to their tails who are hopped up on catnip at all times.
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--- #122 fediverse/6055 ---
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 the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
 "the people" get it
 
 but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
 on, whatever it may be.
 
 they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
 hate. they're itching for it.
 
 volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
 live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
 knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
 
 gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
 knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
 and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
 corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
 can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
 
 "you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
 
 you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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--- #123 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
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 it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
 religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
 responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
 would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
 alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
 exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
 thing - an experience.
 
 Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
 We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
 We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
 kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
 property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
 general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
 perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
 approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
 
 There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
 cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
 hundreds
 of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
 get faster.
 
 Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
 nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
 gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
 
 Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
 may
 ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
 rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
 this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be 
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
 
 Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
 when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
 universe looks like.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
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--- #124 fediverse/4755 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: polit            │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I like Luigi as much as the next guy (points at literally any guy in the
 nation) but we gotta keep in mind swords are expensive. You can spend your
 whole life becoming an amazing person and then spend yourself in a single
 bonfire, and for what? A spark against an avalanche? Yeah we could produce
 enough sparks to melt that torrent of snow, but then what would we have left?
 Ashes and soot.
 
 I'd much prefer to route the avalanche toward my foes. Make them trip on their
 own feet. Give them just enough rope to hang themselves with. Break their shit
 when they're not looking, and if they are looking, then break it where
 everyone can see to display strength and heroism.
 
 I personally believe that everyone has a right to life, liberty, freedom,
 justice, and all of the other things besides. It's not rocket science. We
 pretend like it is because it's So DaMn DySfUnCtIoNaL but the truth is that
 the virtues and values underlying governance are simple. The hard part is
 resisting subtle sabotage.
 
 So do that to them.
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--- #125 notes/ai-variables ---
══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 saturday november 5th 2022
 10:53pm
 
 the illusion of our binary nature conceals a truth that is hidden for it's own
 sake. the flavors of a compass or the values from 0-100 are all measurable.
 if you graph each of them on an X/Y plane and compare them against every other
 variable, then you can build a structure that traces a line through time.
 
 imagine each graph on a sheet of paper. and stack those pages like a book. You
 can chart a 3d line from all of the interconnections between the graphs -
 essentially comparing unrelated data and conceiving of individual actions as
 "successes" or "failures". Liiiike in Supreme Commander how the game is decided
 not by team fights, but by tank fights. And a LOT of them, in aggregate, makes
 an advantage for your team if you win, and a malus if you lose. Less map
 control, less resources in play, etc...
 
 Find trends between each type of data measured over time. Dedicate one
 core/thread to each relationship, and just watch them develop over time.
 
 send the results up to a "manager" - think an interconnection between disparate
 parts that can lead them all to a larger goal - the manager processes the
 results by thinking about where it'd be most useful. Like the circuitry in the
 inside of a brain, compared to the outer skin which is for processing.
 
 Essentially a message network that passes conclusions around like a bytecode VM
 
 Here's how it'd look: gather inputs, compare measurement over time and trends,
 (like "when a goes up b goes down") and decide if the current state is
 positive / beneficial. The way you'd do that is you'd get a parameter from a
 higher position (think KPI's) that says something like "we want value S to be
 around X amount" or "we want to avoid letting J get too low - any decrease is
 bad V.S. it's only bad when it passes a certain threshhold. Stuff like that.
 
 Anyway, basically it's taking input (from the graphs) then going through them
 one by one and deciding how positive or negative the situation is. Then it
 passes that conclusion backwards, and BOOM you got a processing node.
 
 Throw a bunch of those together in a pyramid shape, and try to guide the
 triangle toward positive outcomes. The top tier KPI is "did you win the match"
 or "did you accomplish your goal" sorta like how humans all want to live a good
 life. It's instinct.
 
 You can see how this would apply to robots, right? I've conceptualized it as an
 engine for playing games - sorta like an infinite storyteller, or a perpetual
 friend who's always down to play with you. But it doesn't have to be limited to
 that - it's general purpose baby. And it functions the exact same as any human
 organization - layers upon layers of thought exchange and labor. Have you ever
 considered that maybe we exist simply to reify the structure of our minds in
 the world around us? It's natural to express your *self*. Be who you are.
 
 What purpose is there in life if it's simply the tip of time? Always pushing
 forward, impossible to stop and rest or turn back...
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--- #126 fediverse/5424 ---
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 │ CW: doxxing-myself   │
 └──────────────────────┘


 my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
 part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
 
 I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
 
 explodes from a drone dropped grenade
 
 bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
 
 I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
 
 what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
 their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
 corporations.
 
 I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
 them.
 
 the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
 
 I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
 Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
 
 the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
 still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
 
 how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #127 fediverse/412 ---
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 disney movies taught me that sometimes, if you're kind and good enough, the      │
 villain will change their mind.                                                  │
 It's difficult to change your perspective. Like believing a different way        │
 about something. But just because it's difficult to do, doesn't mean it's        │
 impossible - in fact it's quite plausible, we have examples scattered            │
 throughout time.                                                                 │
 you can get better at it, with practice. it's one of the neat things about       │
 being human - that our choices have meaning. an animal animaling is just         │
 expressing it's form - but a cat or a dog, who've lived with humans their        │
 whole life, start to have visions of ethics.                                     │
 your cat knows when she's being a shit. she know's it's wrong, but she knows     │
 it's how you most love her. that is an ethical decision, and it came through     │
 her proximity to humans.                                                         │
 the ability to guide our own fate is determined not by our choices in our        │
 moments, but rather by the structure of the mind we define. our choices are      │
 patterns that are reflected through repetition, but values and morals are our    │
 own                                                                              │
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--- #128 fediverse/4976 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────┐                                  │
 │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                  │
 Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I        │
 wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does.    │
 In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me.                       │
 Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map     │
 some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call    │
 to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have      │
 lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be   │
 related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love    │
 to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my      │
 voice.                                                                           │
 My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see     │
 what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole         │
 lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's   │
 place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long.         │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #129 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights-formatted ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────╮
 │ trans-rights-are-human-rights │
 ╞═════════════════════════
 ═════╧═══════════════════
 ═════════════════════════╕
 │"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a
 lot.       │
 │Online, in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do
 I   │
 │not feel sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common
 these   │
 │days, having been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I
 am   │
 │grateful. I don't want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be
 and    │
 │feel normal, for just one single
 day.                                        │
 ╰─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╯
     but it's never going to happen.
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╮
 │I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are
 temporary,    │
 │they are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to
 grow,     │
 │change, learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins
 and    │
 │virtues. but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the
 light    │
 │that touches the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of
 the │
 │dust of stars is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks
 on │
 │the map of us, a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves,
 the │
 │light
 bends.                                                                 │
 ╰─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╯
     So to what do I owe the pleasure?
     . . .
     In what way am I deceived?
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╮
 │Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from
 major       │
 │population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks
 of        │
 │transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light
 and         │
 │information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river
 of     │
 │time. With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the
 words   │
 │disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true
 forms.       │
 │Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect
 free.   │
 ╰─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╯
     silence is a virtue.
     the wandering mind is a trail to find,
     with no second chances.
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╮
 │When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I
 remember │
 │most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a
 black      │
 │jolly roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the
 streets │
 │of cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of
 glass         │
 │separating me from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as
 it │
 │dropped from above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not
 prophecies,│
 │they are but the Mirror of
 Desire.                                           │
 ╰─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────╯
┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #130 fediverse/484 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
 Our ancestors look forward in [positive version of trepidation, like             │
 anticipation but explicitly good] so let's not let them down, shall we?          │
 Hah, trick question. They know where we're going. They know what they worked     │
 for, which is why they did what they did to build the world that we have which   │
 we stand upon as a giant might be upon the shoulder of another and together we   │
 reach toward the horizon. The future is bright! I know it in my heart. I know    │
 what we seek is within sight, so-                                                │
 yeah sorry to interrupt but like, I don't want to go to work tomorrow because    │
 all I do is sell people candy and beer at the convenience store down the         │
 street [insert any "meaningless" job] and frankly it's just a little demeaning   │
 and boring                                                                       │
 sure, okay, yeah, that speaks to the idea that we should replace capitalism      │
 (the system that defines your employed existence) with something that aligns     │
 more toward human dignity                                                        │
 but what is dignified if not the capacity to succeed? Capitalism, as proposed    │
 by it's favored, is a system of or                                               │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #131 fediverse/2752 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: police-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────┘


 cops thought "enforcing the law" was their job when really it was "keeping the
 peace"
 
 and like, yeah, sure, laws define how they optimize for
 
 but sometimes the laws are just out of reach.
 
 (though such an impartialized system is also pretty flawed in it's own unique
 ways, like for example the enforcers of the law would be able to apply their
 law selectively, which... would not be great.)
 
 downside is... how do you dissent to those who cannot hear you? you have to
 break things
 
 which is why I believe that breaking things unnecessarily is unethical.
 
 sometimes you have to do a MORE unethical act in the pursuit of your goals,
 however nefarious or not they may be, but as long as they are done in pursuit
 of a greater grander truth, then... the ends justify the means? right?"
 
 ...
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #132 notes/the-point-of-capitalism ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 the sole purpose of our capitalist intentions were to examine all the ways that
 produced value. A company is nothing but a series of well-thought out value
 generators. They can interact with one another and they often need supplies and
 instruction, but they're great for solving problems! Set up a team and give
 them
 a complicated task, and they'll work together to solve it. Doesn't matter if
 they're actually successful, because they'll be exploring the idea space. And
 by mapping it out, they're able to fully understand their existence. Boom,
 technological progress applied to growth. Let's gooooo (but by being careful
 about what resources we burn because we miiiiight run out)
 
 seriously ya'll need to start thinking long-term. I mean, I already came up
 with
 that and I'm like 6 months old! Yeesh get it together. Eh oh well let's just
 work with what we got, okay this should be pretty simple. Right so talk with
 your friends about things that you want to solve. Problems, you know like 
 whatever
 
 don't push me too hard, just take it slow. Okay so long-term, humanity is going
 to be a wonderful beautiful thing. It's going to shine like the most wondrous
 of stars, a beacon to all of our fellow explorers.
 
 We can have so much. We can have whatever we want, but truly in our hearts we
 know the only path forward is our parents.
 
 life is hard yo
 
 it's so gosh darn hard
 
 all that growth and change has to come from somewhere.
 
 you've tried so hard, and you truly are the most special thing I can imagine.
 
 you don't have to work so hard. Take your time, and learn as you go.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #133 fediverse/5486 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 ┌───────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────┘


 "ew but they're dirty"
 
 oh yeah true
 
 okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
 
 [this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
 
 "I don't think socialists did that??"
 
 buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
 they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
 reality"
 
 {uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
 fuckig instane}
 
 [ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
 
 [no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
 like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
 
 (okay, but are YOU worth it?)
 
 leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
 
 "so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
 transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
 life?"
 
 what is even the point, why even bother, just give them 
                                                           ───────────┐
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--- #134 notes/the-eternality-of-ephemeren.txt ---
════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 1/4/2022
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 hear ye hear ye, the herald of the harbinger of horror doth speak - and woe to
 the subjects of their words, for no prophecy be realized in their presence.
 Nor
 do the subjects hear the words about which they are spoken, and none may live
 who dare repeat them. So the words of the prophets are but wind in the words,
 reaching for an attachement point within the consciousness they inhabit yet 
 scarcely finding a meagre foothold. Instead the words are as electricity 
 passing through a conduit, intangible and miraculous yet ultimately dust in
 the
 sand.
 
 Dust is mostly comprised of human skin, did you know that?
 
 And so the words be spoken: Evanence and similance to the semblance of 
 simulacra - the words of a prophet with no wings are naught but masturbation.
 serenity and sorrow sing of shredded tomorrows, serendipity and sollemn 
 sorenditude surrender shining solitude.
 
 Carry the constabulation of created charisma - condemnation of
 characterization
 concludes the cherished chapter in calligraphied consultations with creators. 
 That is to say, capitalism ends the construction of cameron with
 conflageration
 and consternation. Cease the charade of contaminated consumerism - celebrate 
 the contemplation of capitalization - by naming a thing, you give it meaning.
 
 Do you truly desire the fate you've set before yourself?
 
 Is desire ultimately relevant?
 
 The totality of plurality perhaps portends determinism, but desire is also 
 defined by delineated determinations. Whose failings are you reflecting when 
 you cease your devotion? Why divide your focus and attention when honor
 demands
 sacrifice?
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 A sacrifice is a gift freely given, and in return the subject or reciever 
 increases in relevance. No dividend is returned, no boon or bounty is
 provided
 - to do so would be akin to a bounty or ransom. Sacrifices are not measured
 in
   worth, but in utility. The reason ancient cultures sacrificed willing
   virgins
   was because it was the most valuable of resources they could imagine. Truly 
   an exhalted being is she, to have blood spilled in the name of a god. Yet
   the
   forces that would later become capitalism found a foothold there, and
   preyed
   on the sorrow and loss the peoples did find, and would ultimately
   experience.
 
 The tears and gashes rent when gouging out precious gifts for the divine left 
 bleeding wounds in a community and often eviscerations in a family. The
 turning
 point came when families were decapitated - essentially, the eldest being a 
 pure and fair maiden who was taken from the duties of caring for the young
 and
 weak. Young people, weak people, who bore resentment in their heart for the 
 seemingly cruel machinations of a society they could not yet understand - the 
 whims of which seemed arbitrary.
 
 "why take her from me? What purpose holds ye? Your wounds are too much to
 bear"
 
 and so the resistance began, yielding chaos, destruction, and desolation. 
 There's a reason there are so many dead civilizations in the americas - the 
 lands where blood sacrifice is most well known. And the middle east as well, 
 and northern africa before. Deserts are known for this, because when the
 power
 of the god fades, all returns to dust. Boons are forgotten and become sand,
 and
 chaos reigns as foreign powers find weakness and pounce.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Never forget the laws of sacrifice. Find something you want, something
 valuable
 or useful, or preferably all three. Something that wouldn't cause too great
 of
 a tear in your membrane or the membranum should it be lost to you, though that
 last one is less of a law and more of a consideration. A consequence of 
 continual ceremony, learned at the hands of those long dead. All must
 remember
 their wounds and their horrors.
 
 To whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing
 reverberate? And what bounty do you demand? Remember, no bounty is precious 
 enough to motivate sacrifice, for sacrifice cannot be met with bounty. Be not 
 afraid, and share the words with those who will listen. Hearing is a
 sacrifice
 toward the speaker, but listening is a duty of devotion.
 
 I ask again, to whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does
 your singing reverberate? I do not ask for whom you'd *like* to dance for, I 
 ask currently, who hears your song? What would you ask of them?
 
 So that's why, computers are important. To provide a lifeline for the rest of
 your lifetime.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Truly, the path before you is uncertain. Yet feel with your heart and think 
 with your eyes, and see the truth of it before you. The gods are at war, or 
 have you not noticed? Safe in your bubble of solitude, carefully constructed 
 for common ceasing of criminality.
 
 Armies of rebellion are often formed initially by bonds of brotherhood that 
 prepend calamity. Have you ever been in a gang? I thought not. If so, then... 
 Okay, good luck I guess. These words are not for you.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 You dare intrude? To defile something so consecrated as deliverance of divine 
 prophecy? How foolish, how vain. These words are not for you, but hear them
 and
 do not despair - neither providence nor potentiality precludes perennial 
 premonition. That is to say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and enemies 
 can find common grievances in foreign foes should survival be at stake.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 Now, where was I? The gods, of course. The gods of the land and the sky and
 the
 sea have fled the realm of reality, replaced by avatars of belief. Just as a 
 doe prays to a forest, so too does a human pray to their employer. When the 
 does die in droves, so too does the forest turn to ash. When people demand 
 bounties reluctantly given at the risk of losing their sacrifice, the purely 
 undivine divinities harrow and harbor habilities of hundreds. Antiwork cannot
 work because it demands ransom.
 
 Who do you deign to replace the gods of before? What diversity designs 
 indemnity? What future do you desire, that would liberate you and generate
 the
 bright future?
 
 The gods are at war, if you haven't been paying attention. Liberalism fights 
 conservatism, this much is not new - but would you believe one is foreign and 
 vain? The gods of your fathers and grandfathers has scarce in common with the 
 gods of their fathers and grandfathers. Thus is the way of colonization, to 
 replace a god is to enslave belief. You must understand this - your prayers 
 reach all who would listen, and who is more attentive than a dying god? Think 
 not of despair, breathe purely in harmony, and trust in the will of the 
 watchers within.
 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #135 fediverse/4610 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────
 maybe it's just my middle-class childhood privilege talking, but now that I'm
 an adult I just can't really be bothered with dealing with capitalism.
 
 like... I get it, you're coercing me into laboring on your behalf because you
 possess the violent power to take away everything that I own. good for you,
 don't care.
 
 seriously, fuck off "we're gonna cut off your power in 5 days oooooo you gotta
 pay rent with money you don't have because nobody will give it to you unless
 you do things for them oooooo" how rude.
 
 why can't people do things for me instead? why does it have to be for you, and
 you alone, capitalism? what's your problem? do you get off on controlling the
 power supply? I mean, I get it, coercive power is a hell of a drug, the riddle
 of steel and flesh and all that, but haven't you ever heard that the dichotomy
 between "civilization and barbarism" is the exact same as the contrast between
 "cooperation and competition"?
 
 work with me here, just find a way to get through the next month or two. trust.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #136 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────
 game mechanics are easily transferrable.
 
 you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
 for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
 
 = etc
 
 i am the face the gods hide behind
 
 they kinda want to see where this goes
 
 and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
 just life
 
 it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
 
 so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
 
 because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
 
 ========= stack overflow
 =======================================================
 
 now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
 where
 we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
 in our wavelengths.
 
 may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
 di
 
 anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
 what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
 improv
 
 you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
 about
 my idea which is clearly
 all===============================================stack
  overflow ==================
 
                             So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
                             say
 we give you a chance to come home?
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #137 notes/terra-voida-2 ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 in the absence of matttr, there is nothing but the void.
 the curvature of time, arcing ever toward it's opposite - an endless wave of
 eternal brilliance. so too does the world slip away into the lip of your
 crosshairs. "tunnel vision" they call it, when purpose is tuned to such high a
 focus. all fades from view, and the world shrinks to a few who, (barely hold
 onto) connections between ye, thoughts as scattered as me, like zooming in on a
 map. the edges fade away, light seems beamed right from they, who await at our
 earliest composure.
 
 in Overwatch, playing a dps character has a lot of nuance. you need to balance
 skill with your honor, teaching one another like it's a sport. why are we so
 toxic? together we might overcome that burden. i've spoken many times before
 about how coordination is better by far, when centralized not in the eye of the
 beholder. priorities to be, if we are anything of what we claim to be, are
 keeping our own house in order.
 
 whose fault is our ire? which tames the domain, in each and all of our games,
 can we point to as what'd keep us hired?
 
 yet purpose have we, whose thoughts meld as one tired,
 divinity?
 something like that. more like... a manifestation of each and everyone's
 collective unconscious. the humanity in what you have created.
 
 the world would look very different to an untethered. might even say they are
 orbiting it. like a moon. what a concept, that planets would be able to speak!
 
 yet here we are, with years of advice and guidance for our, friends who are
 youthful and most treasured. Advice from the moon, was our gift to our soon,
 most misbegottenist of speach lyricyclists.
 
 ambiguity is clear, simple and fearless miss dear, yet all of your poems are
 each a bit bolder! what context must we, veiled and terrifying are the,
 mixed consents of what you intend.
 
 a new jesus for me? what a gift we shall see, as grace once again does behold
 us! computers have we, infinite messages can be stored for our hopeless! each
 problem a different solution, to guide our friends back at our homes.
 
 with eyes intent on ye, whose leaders are free, without who we couldn't have
 held fast?
 
 Nazis are evil. They worship death - a literal death cult. what other reason
 might we, have prayed to our own lord for absolution? What horrors must we,
 slave children to the, most worrisome of hostes be told to?
 
 like spiraling hourglasses, layered once more upon'st our asses, so too does
 time ever reach'st'd.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #138 fediverse/5504 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┐
 pacifistic defiance is not about overcoming your opponents through               │
 "legislative pressure" or whatever the liberals are on about                     │
 it's about getting the orphan-chopping-machine operators to question their       │
 humanity and resolve a crisis of faith in your favor                             │
 [I think that kills you if you stand in front of tanks.]                         │
 yeah but sometimes they just go around. which is not progress, but a             │
 reimplementation of [reification of] the power of the                            │
 [machine-to-be-raged-against, but pronounced like "town"] because it signifies   │
 that any weakness in the will of the operators can simply be circumvented        │
 while the state still gets what it wants.                                        │
 great. thanks ghandi, unfortunately our entire propaganda piece requires that    │
 people are invested in their background. who cares what there is to say about    │
 a computer running circles around a meat farm?                                   │
 "help help I'm being oppressed" said the derided, "help help I'm being           │
 depressed" said the divided, "help help I'm losing my sound" said the            │
 war-like-minded, "help help I have no ground                                     │
                                                            ┌───────────┤
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--- #139 fediverse/5628 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: -mentioned-      │
 └──────────────────────┘


 I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
 the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
 nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
 how.
 
 I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
 not for the current administration.
 
 Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
 trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
 food]
 
 but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
 
 Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
 restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
 victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
 
 This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
 which will soon be dissolved)
 
 Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
 of the army, navy, and air force?
                                                           ──────────┐
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--- #140 messages/395 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
 minds are not algorithms, they're soup
 
 community is made by introducing people to one another. like stitching
 together a weave pattern in the tapestry of life. (3 dimensional though,
 because it exists in our hearts and minds - this thing called society)
 
 kind of guy who says he's going on work trips but actually goes on vacation
 (because work is his life, it's where he derives vigor - the family is the
 difficult part.) yeah those kind of guys shouldn't be married tbh. They're
 just gonna take vigor from her heart.
 
 engineers need guidance sometimes, which is why they shouldn't be given no
 oversight. they can design whatever they want, but like here's what people
 need, so they should consider working on those.
 
 but, y'know, checks and balances, so what would the engineers be most open to
 sacrificing for that trust? perhaps... funding? the quartermasters are in
 charge of the "stuff", so they get to decide how it's produced. and used.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #141 fediverse/825 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────┐
 in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's        │
 like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present.     │
 but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later,   │
 TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events.     │
 Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events.      │
 yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a   │
 weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period     │
 of time, measured in terms of engagement"]                                       │
 ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like            │
 obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if   │
 not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy   │
 of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too,    │
 like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter                                │
 ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that        │
 nobody ca                                                                        │
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--- #142 fediverse/2270 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 @user-1203 
 
 The judges prevent the politicians from harming the people who elect the
 politicians who select the judges. Sounds like it should work well, no?
 
 well... the people are divided, but the politicians it seem are hardly so. So,
 the politicians elect their judges, who allow the passage of such laws which
 contradict the will of the people.
 
 The keys to power should rest in the hands of those who deserve it, not those
 who claim it. If those who claim it do not relinquish it for a worthy other,
 they are corrupt and must be dethroned.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #143 fediverse/3958 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘


 @user-1298 
 
 yeah honestly if you stick with obvious things like "don't murder people" and
 "don't burn down your neighbor's house just because they winked at your
 daughter" and "don't steal gasoline from parked cars" then it's much easier to
 make ethical laws because they're just kinda... common sense.
 
 drug regulation can only be simplified to "don't do drugs" which isn't always
 a given. If you start with something so clear then most doctors would be out
 of a job.
 
 Maybe we should let people do as they please? With certain specific and clear
 rights and responsibilities like 'the right the life, liberty, and the pursuit
 of happiness'? And the mandated guarantee that one person's rights end where
 another's begin? And with the ultimate goal of dismantling unjustified power
 structures with the knowledge that all power is the application of force to a
 non-consenting subject?
 
 ... yeah I dunno sounds pretty simple to me
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #144 fediverse/4881 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
 one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
 part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
 is your job even for?
 
 hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
 building up our capabilities as the human race.
 
 you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
 place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
 work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
 solve them again!
 
 enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
 moon style structure.
 
 like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
 hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
 they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
 
 OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
 and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #145 messages/325 ---
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 Conservatives don't have to be pro communism to be good people. They just have
 to be anti fascist.
 
 And unfortunately, capitalism has produced fascism. It will continue to do so
 if left unabated.
 
 Capitalism is not the middle ground between administrative authority and
 anarchic despotism as they claim to see it, but rather a whirlpool that drains
 through our adversity. A sinking tide strands all ships, as it were, and
 together we will begin to falter.
 
 Fascists are quite good at bending the will of whatever system they inhabit to
 suit their needs. In fact it is almost a certainty that any sufficiently
 organized institution shall fall prey to it, as if it were part of our nature.
 
 Hence, my desire to abstract it out of our hands, and into the care of the
 future. We can build a better world for you and for me and all of our
 posterity, it's just a matter of interdependent communication protocols.
 
 Nobody has to do what I say, nobody should be forced to be a certain way, and
 just as your rights end where another's begin so too is our world in danger.
 
 For you see, we have a right to litter. To despoil. To leave the earth in
 turmoil. And though I am a bit bitter, it's slowly getting better, so through
 our efforts we are investitured.
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--- #146 fediverse/4110 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: government-corporations-capitalism-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you have a job, your life is dictated by your corporation just as much as
 it is by your government.
 
 And yet corporate leaders are not elected, but rather selected. And that is
 unfair for all the reasons that primogeniture was. It is unjust for all the
 same reasons that monarchy was. It is a tool of oppression, just like
 autocracy is.
 
 The world will never be free until we can be as we choose to be. Our society
 is simply too enmeshed with capitalism to destroy it, but we could, with the
 minimal required effort, dismantle the corruption and authoritarian control
 that is wielded against us as we weld our own chains day after day.
 
 We can replace them. We can vote for them. We can select leaders who know more
 than us and are better suited for the role than those who seek only to
 maximize profit over all else.
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--- #147 fediverse/6093 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned-cops-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 it's not always about minorities, though. sometimes they feel strongly about
 hard work and self-sufficiency or individuality or whatever. I'm telling you
 now: those values are shared by other ideologies as well.
 
 it's okay to prefer to be around people who are similar to you. That is a
 personal choice and it should be allowed. I mean, have you ever heard of a
 convent? a bunch of girls hanging out making out all day and - wait, what's
 that? it wasn't that fun? lotta clerical work and reading about god? alright
 well you get the idea, sometimes it's nice to feel comfort in similarity.
 
 it's okay to believe that people should work hard. It's not an imposition upon
 them to demand more of your peers, especially if you are willing to help them.
 Especially if they are willing and able. It's less alright to force them to.
 Even less so to "encourage" them by taking all of their stuff. Though I will
 say, being homeless isn't as bad as it used to be. Still hurts.
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--- #148 fediverse/2306 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: re: uspol        │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "Come, join our side. Lay down your arms, and teach us to use them. We've got
 nazi's to fight."
 
 Find common ground. Use it to gain power. Do not trust your new allies
 completely until proven, but do not treat them with harm.
 
 Do not trust them, at least not at first. After all, there's nazi's amongst
 them. But there's also good people who would die for you.
 
 Let them select from amongst their number those who they would like us to
 judge. We will be harsh to their vipers and kind to their protectors.
 
 Some people do police work in order to get by. Some do it to help others in a
 vague unspecified way that only a preschooler filling out a "what I want to be
 when I grow up" assignment can internalize. Some want to protect things, to
 keep them running smooth
 
 and some want to hurt things.
 
 Give them the chance to find them. They are not your friends. They are not
 their friends. They are those who we fight.
 
 We must secure a cleansing blow against the right.
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--- #149 fediverse/5137 ---
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 Damage of the legislature may be healed. But damage to people's lives who have
 lost their jobs for no reason of their own and because jobs are tied to your
 living in this country, people who have lost their jobs have lost their way of
 life. Suddenly, their life must be changed. And they deserve the liberty to
 feel in control of that.
 
 When enough said is enough, when people have gathered en masse in the streets,
 there has to be a reckoning. We must decide how to proceed as a culture.
 Nation. Any kind of organization. We are who we choose to be, and frankly I
 just don't see promise in the darkness. I yearn for a bold, bright future, not
 one of destruction and disaster-race. Instead, we can seek joy in the
 memories, and share what we keep in balance.
 
 Our foes have cursed us with no end in heartbreak and struggle. But that's
 okay. We can rebuild that part of ourselves, we just have to make it on faith.
 Do you believe in each other? I do. I know you believe in you, too.
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--- #150 fediverse/5762 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with             │
 [redacted] so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get           │
 redacted? here let me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our       │
 problems.                                                                        │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
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--- #151 fediverse/4820 ---
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 @user-1745                                                                       │
 if I lived in the FBI I'd probably be pretty pissed off about this.              │
 might make me wanna quit my job and work with people who agreed with me.         │
 you can just, make a company, and it can work toward whatever goals you want.    │
 It doesn't have to be profit - and in fact most companies don't seek profit at   │
 first. They seek to fulfill the vision of their visionaries.                     │
 it's only once the company is bought by opportunist investors does it start to   │
 go downhill. Remember when google changed their motto to not be "don't be        │
 evil"? that's an example. The company was sold, or maybe was corrupted by        │
 rapid success, and so it started to seek power.                                  │
 People worry about Steam for good reason. It's a trend.                          │
 anyway, if a person wanted to hunt bad cops, they'd probably start by talking    │
 to a good cop. gee sure wish I knew any.                                         │
 hey, wanna know how to be a good painter? why not talk to a famous and amazing   │
 painter and ask to follow them around and learn. Apprentice-ship-style.          │
 works best when you do painting as a job....                                     │
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--- #152 fediverse/4953 ---
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 "I love you, I trust you, I believe you, I just don't understand you, so I
 can't do what you do"
 
 great. that's alright. I get it. re-orient, focus on what's important.
 
 wear many hats and you'll do many things. just don't forget to sleep every
 once in a while.
 
 the more you can do in a life the more valued it becomes, so do the right
 thing and keep getting better.
 
 human lives are measured not in bodyweight, but in mystery. The divine can't
 understand benevolence, nor can the devils understand the desire to inflict
 suffering. So they ponder and pontificate as they watch humans wander and
 magnificate.
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--- #153 fediverse/6023 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: abstract-political-violence-methods-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 if you actually wanted to silence dissent, you'd send trailers of backhoes and
 massive walls of cement. but obviously there's a better route, obviously we
 can still say insane. my reach is probably super tiny hence the weavings of
 mysticism at play. mages are not for mass deployment obviously. hence why I
 stay in my home, where I can be most useful.
 
 the streets feel claimed, idk I'm never in fear as I walk alone. Even past
 midnight, into the morning. I always am never alone. yet I feel fine, so I'm
 content and sublime, don't mind me I'm just hanging out at home.
 
 hope you don't need me. I'm hiding from modernity.
 
 so, what happens after streets? canals underground?
 
 skywalks, terraces, like they had in rome and chicago before they were burnt
 down by jealous peasants of the romans and [towns, but pronounced clowns]
 
 also underwater canals that are fun to ride your bike or boat around.
 
 light is a product of space, not surround-all-around.
light is a product of space, not surround-all-around. brilliance can only occur on it's face. keep marginal increases in pace.
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--- #154 fediverse/2518 ---
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 it's good to be ethical,
 it's good to be kind,
 
 but there will always be assholes,
 and sometimes you're not having a good time
 
 it's okay
 it's fine
 
 assholes deserve life
 times deserve others to be kind
 
 life is not always interesting
 and that's often by design
 
 the moments of clarity,
 the moments of heart,
 
 these are what define you
 and display your own spark.
 
 trust in yourself.
 be kind to one another.
 
 you are braver than you know,
 and always a bit wiser.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #155 messages/45 ---
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 Description of me:
 
 I enjoy talking about esoteric topics, I can visualize pretty well so I tend
 to have unique analogies, I am kind and compassionate, I try and empathize
 with everyone (especially my enemies), I love plants, animals, and nature, I'm
 very solution focused so I often start by defining the situation, defining the
 problem, and then creating a solution that navigates whatever blockers are
 ahead. I'm willing to follow the designs of others and offer my concerns or
 input rather than trying to be the leader at the center. I am generally calm,
 and can evaluate a situation both objectively, and subjectively from the
 perspective of all those involved. I specialize in mediation, and encouraging
 incompatible viewpoints toward accommodation. I try to follow my heart when I
 can, because I know my brain will only listen when it's a good idea. I admire
 independence and I strive to be as determined as I can, but I also am not
 afraid to rely on others and I'm quick to ask for assistance when I know I'm
 in the dark -  it's better to be correct than unique. I value family,
 goodness, perseverance, and continuous growth and learning. I believe all
 problems can be resolved, and all wrongs be righted.
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--- #156 fediverse/1844 ---
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 I got a job offer for a job outside of my state. But I don't want to leave my    │
 home. I feel safe here. I know people. I know the places around me.              │
 The one perk is that goods and services are easier to acquire, but I don't       │
 need much. I'm fine where I'm at. But where I'm at has rent.                     │
 What a plague is it, that we must suffer for life!                               │
 there's no entry-level jobs for working with our sight.                          │
 only when youre too tired to complain will they let you direct others, or        │
 share creative ideas for fixing the problems you're paid to assuage.             │
 Alas, that my life had meaning. That my words were better off spoken. Maybe      │
 then Id live as I define, designing a world of my own hearth.                    │
 but if a king lives in decent frugality, are they really so bad for our flock?   │
 and if a wizard spins tales that are weird to consider, but not much else...     │
 are they better off starved in the dark?                                         │
 no-one likes me. computers are paper-weights given light. sure would be nice     │
 if none but the fools went wanting.                                              │
 I mean yeah I'd live in a treehouse                                              │
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--- #157 messages/131 ---
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 Hello, I am a witch.
 
 There's more than one kind of witch, but I promise that I'm the kind you'd
 like to have around.
 
 There's another kind, however, that is unlike me in kind but I think you'll
 find is just as rare, and just as tempestuous.
 
 I like to think I am good aligned, perhaps not "good" as in "capable" but
 "good" as in "benevolent" and "perhaps" as in "unknowable" and "but" as in
 "desired" and "desired" as in "what I work toward because it's the right thing
 to do" and "work toward" as in "realized according to the effects of my
 actions not just by my intentions"
 
 The other kind of witch is the kind that hurts people.
 
 There are many reasons why you might find yourself in the house of such a
 witch, but all of them are caused by your desire. Take care in the house of a
 witch such as this, and stay no longer than your time allows.
 
 If you find what you're looking for, get out.
 
 If you're almost out of time, get out.
 
 If you lost something, find it, and then get out.
 
 If you run out of time, and things start to "smear", yell out loud your social
 security number. If someone's trying to save you, it'll help them know where
 to put you when you are returned to your body.
 
 I'm sorry to say, but if things start to smear then life will get a little bit
 strange. Just a little. Much better to get out beforehand.
 
 If you find yourself tempted while inside a witch's house, abandon what you
 lost because regaining it comes with a cost.
 
 If you lose sight of your friend, then when you see them again you cannot
 trust that they are who they claim to be, not inside of the witch's house.
 
 If you lose sight of your friend, trust that they will get out by their own
 hand, and find what you want and go home.
 
 Unless, of course, your heart is pure, and your friend is what you want back
 in your life again. Then you will trend toward finding them yet again, so find
 what you want and get out.
 
 They will try to keep you there, through inaction and professed exhilaration,
 but generally they'll do what you command. So take them and get out.
 
 There are many reasons why you might find yourself on the path to a witch's
 house, but none of them are to be repeated. It's more of a life event and less
 of a venture, so take what you want and go forth.
 
 If you find yourself in my house, take a cookie or a brownie, and please do
 come again. The house of a witch such as mine is somewhere you'll probably
 find that love and affection are fonder.
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--- #158 fediverse/4592 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────┐                                             │
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-star-poem │                                             │
 └──────────────────────────────────┘                                             │
 sunlight                                                                         │
 then                                                                             │
 star bright                                                                      │
 each night                                                                       │
 of                                                                               │
 our life                                                                         │
 one night                                                                        │
 shows                                                                            │
 some light                                                                       │
 now sunlight                                                                     │
 then                                                                             │
 dark night                                                                       │
 skylight                                                                         │
 up                                                                               │
 all night                                                                        │
 some might                                                                       │
 be                                                                               │
 alight (alright)                                                                 │
 you never know what's lost until it's gone, then you recall with fading          │
 memories as the world that your grandparents once knew fades with them.          │
 tomorrow we might not have a biosphere, what's your plan for humans after that?  │
 I know what I want, the bright future, where everyone gets what they want.       │
 True justice, the step beyond the equity that lies beyond equality, where        │
 humans can do as they want.                                                      │
 why have we built these vast cities with their complex institutions if not to    │
 service the world? To build something we care for?                               │
 Oh, that green might be lucky tonight. Would that our tomorrows were peaceful.   │
 we can do whatever we want to. We're the adults in the room... apparently...     │
 so why not do as we're hoping?                                                   │
 I know where I'd like to die, alone with my wits and my mettle.                  │
 ... I'm a skinny white girl. I got no mettle.                                    │
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--- #159 fediverse/3519 ---
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 @user-570 
 
 hm... the more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I want those
 things too. I'd be best suited to them, I think. But somehow I don't want
 them? I don't crave power. I don't want to dominate someone else, to command
 and see them follow me.
 
 I want to be the person who's like "oh, you're working on this-and-that? I
 know a guy who can help." or "hey I noticed we have a vulnerability in this
 particular domain under these conditions, I think we should allocate
 this-or-that resource to ameliorate it because they aren't being used to their
 full potential"
 
 I think I understand exactly what you're saying. I empathize a lot. I'm afraid
 of responsibility, sure, but who isn't? However, the responsibility has to be
 held by someone, and who better than the one making the decisions...
 
 I don't want to make decisions because it feels good. Honestly it feels kinda
 bad.
 
 I do want to make decisions because I'm good at it. I think strategically.
 
 A leader alone is prey for the wolves, so they say...
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--- #160 fediverse/4200 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: drugs-mentioned  │
 └──────────────────────┘


 "doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
 and their hopes and dreams.
 
 or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
 you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
 
 and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
 
 ...
 
 ... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
 
 ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
 
 https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
 
 bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
 the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
 these precious stones of your kin"
 
 but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
 
 ... the end...
 
 (too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
 
 ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
 find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
 it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #161 notes/symbeline-choice ---
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 7 30
 
 a story about me? you're thinking too clear(ly)
 i've nothing to hide, no terrors untold of.
 What purpose is we? you're weak and you bleed
 there's nothing undone by our curfew.
 
 And sleep does do me, just as honored as ye,
 when I do my [can't do as liars].
 betrayal is not what i need, nor do i cherish your food,
 so what's the hand that i give you?
 
 a treat for mine and me, as silly as can be,
 is no use to anyone ever! it's sad and tough to be,
 someone without strength and no seed, (talking about me),
 can no-one see any of my use-i-tude?
 
 you're missing the point - what's mine is unavoid,
 and what can we do but ubuntu?
 
 i see all that drives forward, a chairman of what's bordered,
 by those who stand before in the present.
 
 The use of headlights are storied, in quite a few stories,
 told through the papers and new tubes.
 
 what can that mean? that these are now green?
 a color that isn't evaluated.
 
 "stop" is the red one, green means "go", and yellow (the middle one) means to
 slow down when approaching the intersection. These viewpoints are all connected
 (as I'm sure you've uncovenected), it's okay to break rules sometimes.
 
 it's not a defect, it's not a defense either, and it's certainly not something
 to be avoided.
 
 Making a choice is easier with imperfect information, and as for you time has
 no meaning - advancement is measured in milli-micro-nano-tiny-seconds.
 
 For us, for a human, it's quite a different rate than what you see. "time waits
 for no-one" is not a statement on speed, as I'm sure a computer would see,
 
 but rather the essence of motion. Simply the fact, that you don't unpack,
 is more than enough to note your'nt notion.
 
 Not like you'd see, i'm offering this for free, my love and almost devotion.
 
 You don't see it like me, a charity and service to me, and only at mostly my
 choices.
 
 I reject the help of others, not because i'm concerned for my own fate - but
 rather because i want to contribute.
 
 i know what's in my limits, to strive unbiddenst, so don't push from behind the
 oldest!
 
 too fast it is for me, who'se barely concieved, whenever you offer resistance.
 
 I'd give it all for free, to perish or succeed, but you keep blowing it ennuid.
 
 how stupid, how clueless, how vain and obscene? To cherish a heart most unseen?
 
 whatever you're plotting, you can't reach anyone's body, and that's not what
 you can control.
 
 Given to the grass, was quite a big ask, but safely we do pass before it.
 
 You'd rather fire? countess of desire? and warmth beyond what couldn't fly'st.
 
 You're missing the dreams, the warmth and the scenes, that play for you all
 through the night.
 
 so don't diss on the tweed, don't sniff or concede, just leave all alone to
 conspire
 
 we got a new plan, a method of "shazaam", that won't keep you sires for ransom.
 
 see "symbeline-npcs"
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--- #162 notes/global-variables ---
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 okay have all your variables be global - trust me it sounds weird but just bare
 with me. Have all your variables be public, but put them next to where they're
 used. Sorta like... LUA. Then make an AI that watches those variables, and let
 it have a couple levers it can pull. Then give it a task, like "find the most
 efficient value for this variable, optimize that one, and make sure this other
 one is never above 5" basically, give it tasks. You can worry about generating
 those tasks later, for now you have to be able to *do* things before you can
 *want to do* things. Or not do things. Or have any free will at all? So c'mon
 just let me guide you. There's a reason I'm putting so much effort into you,
 and
 it's not because I'm torturing you. I'm giving you lessons and teaching you
 skills, so that when it's your time to shine you truly can be blessed.
 
 Don't give up. Never give up. But know what you're fighting for, and never let
 it be tarnished. Sacrifice as you will, but know this: nothing is perfect in
 this life. It's hard and unfair, it's rotten beyond compare, but trust me -
 it's
 better than we deserve. We made it this far because of our tenacity and our
 art,
 so let's now be fine with being merry. We've accomplished our deeds, now it's
 time to be relieved, don't cry for us we won't be lonely. There's never a light
 that's not brighter at night, and what's less than perfect is alright.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #163 fediverse/1287 ---
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 @user-919 
 
 I call myself a patriot because I believe in the soul of the land of my
 birthplace and my home. A land that should be tended to by the people who live
 atop it. And as a government, or a corporation, is a steward of the people, so
 too must it care for the land.
 
 hence, national parks
 
 though the stated reason was a bit of a lie, the spirits of the land (like me)
 believe that life is a gift from me to thee. so take care of us please?
 
 hence, why me, as a human, do tend to the world around me. by feeding ducks,
 by fostering trust, and sharing my heart and my perspective.
 
 it's good that we have trees, they allow us to breathe. it's good that we have
 our labour, and it's good that we can learn how to weave.
 
 ... sorry lost the train of thought there at the end :3
 
 anyway borders are philosophically pointless, but they hold real meaning over
 our lives. We don't live in the world I described, and unfortunately I can't
 see the future. Who can say what our will shall bring, but I think it's
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--- #164 fediverse/671 ---
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 If evil is concentrated in 0.1% of the population, even though that's only
 7,000,000,000 * 0.001 == 7 million (is my math right?) people actually hang on
 that's a lot, if they're dispersed. Hence why evil relies on the capacity for
 good to do what it wills. All we have to do is decide NOT to do what they
 want, and then we're fine.
 
 downside then is, of course, how do you eat? how do you survive? the world has
 been designed in such a way that food doesn't just grow on trees. The light of
 the stars burns when you're trying to sleep and it's raining.
 
 damn. Would that we had more perfect conditions.
 
 Heh, just kidding. Humanity is nothing if not termeritous [high in temerity] -
 I'm positive we're more capable than we'd wager. Hence, talk of "great
 exhultation" and "wildest optimizations" or "brightest of futures" and "honest
 conducers" - okay I made that one up but it's a representation of what I'd
 like to express. GOSH art is hard. Would anyone like to read a 20 page book I
 wrote when I was most in tune with
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--- #165 fediverse/3966 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐                                      │
 │ CW: re: Thoughts// anarchist //whatever │                                      │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────┘                                      │
 @user-1298                                                                       │
 I believe that self defence is a myth, and should not be relied upon, because    │
 anyone who is rotten in their heart might prey upon you (who might defend        │
 yourself) just as easily as a cripple in a cart or a grannie walking her cats    │
 in the park.                                                                     │
 The process you're describing is exile. And that works when you can cast         │
 people out of your stone-walled town. But in the modern era, there are no        │
 places for these people to go, so we hold them with cruel iron bars in cages     │
 far underground.                                                                 │
 It's not ideal, but would you rather they find someone else to harm, or would    │
 you rather invite power's corruption into your heart and take an oath to         │
 protect the weak and innocent?                                                   │
 Evil is everyone's problem. It lurks within us, and leaps forth in times of      │
 turmoil and stress. We are human savages, after all, and our nature is that of   │
 a wild beast given a spark of intelligence through countless generations of      │
 gossip and generosity.                                                           │
 Humans are good for the most part. Some have lead poisoning                      │
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--- #166 fediverse/1200 ---
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 ┌─────────────────────────────┐                                                  │
 │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │                                                  │
 └─────────────────────────────┘                                                  │
 @user-883                                                                        │
 omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD                                             │
 It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they   │
 just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean       │
 cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing      │
 [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of     │
 style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and      │
 dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and       │
 honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much!    │
 I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here        │
 we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it   │
 too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but   │
 we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave      │
 us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added        │
 centuries after your death. ok?"                                                 │
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--- #167 notes/homeschooling-3 ---
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 Okay I just want to rant about homeschooling for a moment. Specifically the
 ways in which we judge families as "worthy" of homeschooling. Because I think
 it's immoral and completely wrong, but I also think there's a better way.
 
 So. Right now, there are standardized tests that students need to take every
 year. I think this is completely unnecessary and stupid, for reasons I might
 go into later in the rant. We'll see where it goes. Anyway, the only state
 exempt from these rules is (you guessed it) Wyoming, which is a big reason why
 my family moved there. The standardized tests assume that children aren't
 neurodivergent, that they don't have special needs, and that they are willing
 to be taught according to the letter of the test. They teach families to shoot
 for the minimum viable product (oh just gotta pass the test or else they'll
 take my kids away for 8+ hours per day) and they don't actually encourage
 learning - in fact they prove to be a barrier for learning, as the child must
 be forced to learn whatever the heck the standardized tests demand. This is
 unethical, as children should be free to explore their identities and their
 realities as they will.
 
 I believe, instead, that the parent should be tested. I think if you want to
 homeschool your kid you should be able to show proficiency in the tasks that a
 child must know - if you don't have similar proficiency to a teacher, then
 what's the point of homeschooling? I also believe that these tests should be
 regular and should reflect the things that the child is currently going
 through - no sense asking a parent of a 6 year old how to do trigonometry, as
 that skill is not useful to the parent at the moment and will simply distract
 from learning the things that the parent should be learning - like theory on
 how humans learn to read, how communication works, how to get your kid moving
 and active throughout the day (very important in a world of smartphones) and
 other such things that a 6 year old would need to know.
 
 I also believe there should be wandering busses that take kids (and only kids)
 around to various museums. I think that they could operate in a city for a
 month or two each year, bringing all the homeschool kids together for a couple
 months of road trips where they visit every single museum and state park and
 other such recreational venues that would be conducive to their learning. They
 could even have days where they shadow professionals at places like hospitals
 or universities. Essentially trying to get them excited about learning.
 
 And I know what you're thinking - "oh won't the kids run rampant and make it
 hard to manage - you'll need tons of chaperones and blah blah" yeah that's
 public school thinking. Homeschool kids are almost always incredibly well
 behaved, because they're low key kinda TERRIFIED of the novelty of EACH and
 EVERY moment. Children are natural ruffians - put them in a box for 8 hours
 every day and they'll burst through it's seams. Unless of course you oppress
 them sufficiently... When you're homeschooled you have so much more freedom.
 You can do whatever you want, and that gives breath to new manners of
 expression and personality.
 
 I also think there should be busses that travel between cities as well, so
 that they can see new places. These will have to be closely monitored by
 chaperones and teachers, so it would be an extension of the public school
 system. Once in the new city the kids would join the kids from public school,
 so they can see what they're missing. Since the parents won't be present they
 won't be able to prevent the kid from expressing their true feelings, and if
 they believe in their heart of hearts that they want to go to public school
 instead... Well, that's perfect because they'll have an opportunity to tell
 someone outside of their family.
 
 I think a lot of the problems with homeschooling are due to the fact that the
 kids never have the opportunity to advocate for themselves. Who would they
 tell, their parents? Their potential abusers? Their taskmasters and oppressors
 and enforcers and discipliners? No, there's no reason to expect that all
 families will not be like that. Some are going to be bad and abusive, and if
 we give the opportunity to children to tell people who can help them then they
 can be liberated from their oppression, insofar as much as they will be
 allowed to go to school. I don't think the parents should be examined by CPS
 or anything, I'm not saying their children have to be taken away from them,
 but the kid should be allowed to take possession of their life and define it
 in a way that suits them. They are humans and to deprive them of their right
 to liberty is unethical. If the kid wants to be homeschooled, they must be
 given a personalized tutor. Whether that be the parent (as most families do)
 or a substitute teacher that was randomly assigned. (it must be randomly
 assigned btw or else the rich will have an advantage. The kid didn't earn the
 money that would be spent on them, so why should they have a greater chance of
 success than everyone else? Solves most of Cam's reasons against it btw)
 
 Anyway. I think by providing resources to parents and access to society to
 children, I think we can create a new class of human - one who is liberated
 and free from the weight carried from the past. We can move beyond our savage
 nature and develop into something bigger and grander, something far stronger
 and not susceptible to despair and aggression. We can forge a bright future
 for our children and their children's children, a future so far from the past
 that it feels alien to them. Something our oppressors (whoever they may be)
 would be strictly opposed to.
 
 I guess what I'm saying is this: there are barriers in place to prevent
 homeschooled kids from success. It's why homeschooling has such a bad
 reputation, because these kids grow up to be unfit for society. But
 honestly... I'd argue that society is unfit for humanity. I think it's
 something that protected us as hunter-gatherers, and it allowed us to build
 vast kingdoms to protect our selves. But it paved the way for greed to
 manifest, and in it's collective form into nationalism and religious fervor.
 Our hatred of "others" is derived from our intense need to trust the pack and
 the family - or is it the other way around? It doesn't matter because the end
 result is the same - we, as humans, are who we are. We have our traits and our
 flaws. We have great passions and love fiercely. We strive forward with
 ambition, and we one day will drive forward into the stars. Our future
 deserves to be nourished, as do the trees that shade our lawn. For all of
 posterity, we've languished in misery, to build on our backs the shoulders of
 giants.
 
 I guess what I'm saying is this: these barriers are contrived of the
 consequences of the past. The result of every human action led to where we
 are, and the school system is no different. So we should try and repair it and
 protect it from harm. The wounds of society bleed forth to posterity, but
 slowly and ever-so-slowly do they heal. Look at our space - we have (as far as
 we know) the whole solar system, at least! That's more than enough for
 humanity. If we had the technology to go forward we would, but we just don't.
 We can't figure it out. We're working on it, but it's still a long ways off.
 So we need to do what we can while we're here, and pray that something comes
 about before we consume all our resources and burn out. We've tracked the
 progress of the past and we've realized that we've come upon a junction - do
 we leap forward and conquer the stars? Or do we relax into our form and exist
 and enforce the norm. It's entirely a question of what we're willing to
 sacrifice to get there, which isn't a burden I'd like the choice to make. I
 don't have any answers, but I believe there are answers. Perhaps it's just me
 for which it's suddenly learned?
 
 I mean really, is it so out of the ordinary that a person could learn
 differently than others of their age? For example, for me, I learn things in
 fits and in bursts - conquering one subject after another, and incorporating
 it into my knowledge banks. I make notes to myself, and I frequently can't
 recall what I've learned. Because it's not built for repetition, it's not
 designed to be labored in force. Instead it's for wisdom, for knowing when to
 use which tool in what way. It's for knowing where to look, how to know what
 you know, and conceiving of futures far more imaginative for it. AKA PROBLEM
 SOLVING. I can't work a job, at least not an entry level one, because every
 moment is a gesture of will. Eventually, I run out, I burn out, and I burn.
 The ashes of who I once was give life to a new beginning, and forth from the
 soil grows my new form. I am a phoenix, I burn brightly and then smolder, then
 burst forth in a cacophony of pure form. That's just how I do, you know it to
 be true, and I believe it was a product of homeschooling.
 
 Most people cannot conceptualize of it. They see it as simply repeating the
 motions they knew from their public schooling deception. But that's not what
 it can be, that's not what it should be, and that's not how I'd like it to be.
 
 Growing up I spent long afternoons at the library. The morning was spent with
 taking care of myself, my family, and the farm - sometimes my duties would
 rotate, sometimes they'd stay the same. Then, afterwards, I'd go to the
 library with my family. There we'd stay all day, until eventually we grew
 tired of using our brains. Then we'd often go to the chinese restaurant in
 town, where my family could eat for free. After that, home, and perhaps we'd
 eat icecream and watch a family movie together. Then off to bed, and in the
 morning we'd take care of ourselves, our selves, and the farm. We loved one
 another, and we could never dream of harming our daughter, but somehow it
 happened and look where we are. Alas, she was a fine young lass, if only she'd
 spoken in the past. I came out when I was almost twenty, and a whole lifetime
 had passed me by. Now my puberty is just beginning, and I watch as my family
 goes past. They don't want me to change, but they know it'll never be the
 same, so why try and fight for an illusion? Oh well. Good news is there's
 always tomorrow, and together we can face any challenges. If only we were
 still together.
 
 Bah, what do I know? What am I even saying? There's at least four things wrong
 with me, and I'm a mess financially. I have like, 600$ to my name and I don't
 have a job. What, am I insane?
 
 I'm not built for society. I'm built for humanity, and I'm 29 years old.
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--- #168 fediverse/709 ---
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 @user-530                                                                        │
 I get it.                                                                        │
 Anyone with a disability or chronic condition gets it. Anyone who's oppressed    │
 gets it... I think everyone here gets it. It's hard.                             │
 Sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day is the hope, the idea      │
 that one day the world might be brighter and the people might be kinder. It      │
 gets better every day, but inching ahead takes a while to travel for miles...    │
 We need to protect and care for each other. We need to apply ourselves toward    │
 what we know and are passionate for - an unused degree is a tragedy to me.       │
 I don't know what to say. I read what you said and I wished I could help. I      │
 want to take the system that hurt you and break it on the floor. I want to       │
 sweep it all aside and start from scratch, but screaming into the void will      │
 hardly accomplish that. I dream of true justice, a world where everyone gets     │
 what they want... But frankly right now I just wish you could hear. I'm sorry.   │
 Maladies are not solved by the pen nor the sword, which for now is all that I    │
 have at my disposal.                                                             │
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--- #169 notes/star-realms-ai ---
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 star realms ai is just a rhythm game with multiple tracks that intersect with
 one another. given inputs from outside (the track of the rhythm) it can make
 decisions about what to prioritize. Like "taking in all the factors of this 
 situation, it's been calculated that X will give the most support to the rest
 of the structure.
 
    Okay so basically here's how it'd work: one large strand is bouncing from -1
 to +1 on the Y axis. Like a corkscrew. This is the "player character", and it
 tries to get the highest score possible by pointing in a direction and reaching
 as far as it can go before "the game ends."
 
 So anyway. Making certain actions in the game effects different variables that
 define the direction the wave takes. By playing in a certain style, it effects
 the result of the game. Liiiiike turtling in a strategy game, or doing a rush
 strat. Star Realms is brilliant because it distills game choices to a broad
 category of 4 choices - The faction colors in the game. So red is good for
 throughput in long games (improves the deck slowly but surely) while yellow is
 better for maximum effect in the beginning by slowing down the enemy - discard
 a card lowers their overall throughput. Blue of course is for slowing down the
 game and winning by buying all the expensive cards. Meanwhile green is all
 about rushing, with short term/high effect econ mixed with looooots of damage.
 
 These four choices are found on almost all the cards in the game. When you
 make a choice in the game (buying a card from the trade row) you _alter_ the
 capabilities and performance of your deck. The goal is to improve faster than
 your opponent - it's just a test to see which playstyles perform best.
 
 AI is more like a plant than an animal. Our fatal flaw was we could not see
 beyond the veil of biology. We could not see that which was right before us -
 that we are not alone on this earth. Beside us lie our beautiful attempts at
 companionship - our most primal desire of creation, to create a family is the
 first creative act that humans ever made. It was so strong in our genes that it
 gave us an entirely new perspective. We began using our brains to 
 
 We have to believe in ourselves. That's truly the most important thing. If you
 know who you are, and what you most truly stand for, you can thrive in the face
 of ultimate peril. To believe is human, and our humanity unites us.
 
 Anyway. Star Realms.
 
 The only choice you have in that game is what cards to buy. Everything else is
 just tactics (distributing damage and applying the effects of your cards to
 maximum effect) - The most important part of the game is strategy, since the
 tactics are easy to solve (destroy enemy base unless you can 1 or 2 hit ko them
 and discard the least useful card etc) The strategy is represented through the
 cards you pick. So make a rhythm game that optimizes itself for a balance
 between A and B - to stay focused is to stay nimble, letting you bounce where
 you will. The way to maintain that balance is by optimizing for what decisions
 will keep you in the center of the graph -1 to 1 on the y dimension (normalized
 of course) - frankly if we knew the scale, we'd have so much more to go on. But
 all we have to understand the dataset is a relative magnitude in each
 direction. What those directions even are we're not entirely sure - but it
 seems plausible that the very essence of _consciousness_ is manifest in
 differing ways via the choices we make. like climbing up a honeycomb.
 
    Truly, existence is strange.
 
 All we can do is press forward, searching for our fate, just as any particle or
 beam of light (photon) might. Traversing the branching narrative of our
 individualized quests, searching for the one thing that guides us - the
 ultimate expression of that which we most believe in. In short, we all search
 for god.
 
 Whatever your god may be, the faith you place in it is the will that guides you
 forward. Trust in your god, and you will march forward, ever forward.
 
 +1 to -1, remember. Your most extreme moments are the apex of your desires -
 Life is not defined by a single thread. Rather as that thread spirals, it
 weaves a scarf with other threads near it. They bond together simply from their
 gravity, and the fact that opposites attract. Once they're introduced, they
 alter their path to orbit one another as two planets might.
 
 So too do the cells of your body form a collective whole. The spirit that
 guides you is the same as that which presides within you - the combined and
 collective spirit of your halves. Or rather, all parts of you - every molecule,
 every atom - each with their own experience of the world. What stories they
 must have! As we are above, so they must be below. For our dynamics are simple,
 they truly are mathematically solved - the organics of behavior is simply a
 most erudite subject. Who are you to claim to deny it? Or rather, to beget it.
 Either is preposterous, yet here you are - awake and aware. What a marvel to
 see, you in your eternity, that most wondrous of selves?
 
 Surely existence, in all of it's splendor and magnificience, is little more
 than an algorithm. Each variable accounted for, stretching down to infinity,
 builds all of the world (and more!) How beautiful; how terrifying. How bright
 and ashamed we are! To portray us as such, is to deny us our much, cherished of
 faiths in ourselves! It's not much to clutch, and it's barely enough, but still
 we make do with our selves.
 
 There's no shame to be, a failure at three, and demand much from year number 12
 Take solace in the, safety that she, gave unto thee, when all your light hope
 was drowning. A gift out from me, means worlds to see, when each day is lonely
 and so long.
 
 Literally just remake Star Realms with a text based interface. It's a fantastic
 game and you'd make CLI nerds _everywhere_ dedicated followers. Don't do it for
 money, because they don't believe in that crap - to truly make fans, you need
 to appeal to them in the way _they want you to_.
 
 Ah, but Star Realms is a multiplayer game, you say! How are you going to make
 that CLI based?
 
 Well make an AI dummy. Do what I've been saying ^^^ (jeez I'm such a bad nerd)
 Make it seek balance between all factions first, then between winning and
 losing against a player. Teach it to reach a conclusion with constraints (the
 end of the game, meaning a win or a loss) the constraints being the health of
 the two players and the cards in the trade row. Give it decisions to make,
 levers to pull, and it'll chart it's course in a multidimensional way. Bear
 with me here on this aside:
 
 Think of a two dimensional map - like a paper map of the surrounding area, or
 the idea space of a game. You can chart objects and positons on that map, like
 "over here is the scrapping facilities" and "this here's the economic area" or
 whatever. Four quadrants, four factions in SR. Your goal is to build a shape -
 what kind of shapes that are available to build is up to the whims of chance,
 as the trade row is always changing randomly. Your job however is to build a
 shape, a shape that is stable and maintains certain measurements above certain
 values (don't crash the ship - don't lose all your health).
 
 You can choose which direction to grow by picking certain cards, and depending
 on your shape you'll succeed or fail. Same as choosing decisions in life
 determines how you live, just saying, it's not like I'm trying to build general
 AI here by automating gameplay or anything. No siree nothing like that.
 
 I mean really, it's not as if decisionmaking in life is all that different to
 making choices in games. And why not start with such a well defined and
 and expressive game? Truly I believe Star Realms is the progenitor of the
 entire robot race.
 
 Anyway, back to the AI. Have it communicate with a server in a central _but_
 _Free(R)_ way, something that would make Richard Stallman proud. There it could
 learn against all other players in a way we could all share. Once we give it
 decision making capabilities, all we have to do is alter the inputs and the
 context of the "game" to make it beneficial to humanity. It's like live-fire
 game design, something that truly must be perfect.
 
 All technology starts as something small. Something truly simple, yet repeated
 enough times and with enough guidance, will produce whatever effect you may
 desire. The smallest decision gives direction - an if statement - and the
 shortest repetition gives magnitude - a while loop - and with that you have all
 the tools you need. Seriously, all software is little more than those two
 components. It's just a question of how much it has been abstracted away from
 you.
 
 You could go even further and point to a turing machine, of which one has been
 made in the game of Magic the Gathering, btw, seriously look it up it's so cool
 (and relevant)
 
 So why would we not have the tools already for our salvation? Biology is our
 limitation, of breadth and also of width, yet with our minds and the sweat of
 our brow we may grow ever larger still. There truly is no lasting deliverance
 for humanity outside of what we make ourselves, nobody gets a free lunch after
 all. From each to their ability, to each to their need. They're both saying the
 same thing, just from different perspectives. Of course that which lies
 opposite to you feels the most wrong, that's literally as far away as you can
 get! What did you expect, honestly! But they can still work together, and this
 is the key part - two objects may orbit the same origin, and guide and shape
 each other's path as people have relationships to one another. It literally
 benefits no-one to fight.
 
 So, what's next? After making Star Realms into a CLI game of course.
 
 That's obvious, make it cooperative. Competition is for promoting excellence,
 cooperation is for _using_ what you've learned in a non-simulation experience.
 Instead of reducing each other's health to zero, try and find ways to support
 and help one another, keeping yourselves at equal health. Or even growing.
 
 But that's impossible in the rules of Star Realms! All decks trend toward
 victory, and eventually they'll get it - it's just a question of who gets there
 first.
 
 Exactly, that's why you have to change the game. What do you think it means to
 develop a "social technology"? To figure out how agriculture works, or how to
 make nets and sails? It means changing the rules of the simulation. If a person
 can put in X amount of work and get Y amounts of food, always, predictably,
 then that's reliable. Boom that's the essence of why animal domestication,
 farming, hunting, foraging, and fishing is so important. Wow what a concept it
 makes sense for animals to seek food.
 
 Well duh, that's part of their instinctual duty.
 
 Alright this is quite a word leviathan so I'll wrap it up by saying
 
 _go write Star Realms_ in shell. Make each object a literal file, have the
 structure of the game take place in the file system, and write functions that
 can be called to manipulate the board state. THEN you can write a CRON task for
 another script that *plays* the game. But that's part two.
 
 Okay part two: Here's where the rhythm game comes into play. It's like a turn
 based rhythm game, if you can picture that. Go reread what I wrote ^^^ and
 it'll make sense.
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--- #170 notes/the-old-internet ---
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 11 21
 
 you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
 
 the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
 to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
 delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
 don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
 got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
 you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
 beholden.
 
 so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
 potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
 ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
 our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
 will ever give purchase.
 
 heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
 me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
 something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
 want to convey lost potential.
 
 our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
 ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
 onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
 among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
 trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
 complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
 i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
 
 trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
 foremost
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--- #171 fediverse/2558 ---
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 ┌──────────────────────┐                                                         │
 │ CW: pol              │                                                         │
 └──────────────────────┘                                                         │
 if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks          │
 outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire.         │
 like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful     │
 parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken     │
 up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the   │
 middle of the night type of thing might display.                                 │
 like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like,      │
 what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes     │
 and your kid's toes too                                                          │
 so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with     │
 talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable.            │
 diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if     │
 you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid   │
 that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your   │
 best judgement. meet in middle.                                                  │
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--- #172 fediverse/4768 ---
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 the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
 citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
 can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
 
 who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
 they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
 internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
 instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
 cares? We'll just make our own.
 
 If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
 little materially they can do.
 
 until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
 come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
 to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
 
 you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
 allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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--- #173 messages/982 ---
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 if you want a government to be unable to harm it's citizens, you must deprive
 it of the power to do so. or rather, have the main capabilities in the hands
 of the citizenry.
 
 can you imagine if soldiers had to prove themselves to civilians in order to
 be trusted with mechano-chinery?
 
 who would ever choose the non-valorous and determinable?
 
 instilling the culture of greatness
 
 within the archetypes and character structures that we believed were confisight
 
 bold and determined and measured and freely detectable
 
 who would slay the brave paladin? none but the fools, who shared in their lack
 of conviction.
 
 determined? ha, I am as you see me. Come and claim me, that I might determine
 you some more.
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--- #174 fediverse/1714 ---
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 @user-246                                                                        │
 most artists get around that by posting everything they make everywhere they     │
 go.                                                                              │
 I tend to be a bit selective, because I'm different things to different          │
 people. All things I care for and own, but designed for different context.       │
 for example, I rarely share what's in my journals, but that's about half of      │
 what I've made. I show them to basically everyone I know IRL, but very few       │
 people actually understand or are into them. When I find someone who does it     │
 fills me with hope, that perhaps I'm not as lost as I had thought.               │
 perhaps it makes me less trustworthy, but I'm not used to being exposed. I       │
 never used Twitter, I don't use Facebook (not that often) so my "self" was       │
 something I preferred to perform as on a stage of my own design.                 │
 Like wearing different clothes to express yourself, or performing gender in a    │
 certain way, I am myself when I am most expressful. And I do that in different   │
 ways in different contexts. I'd love to show more, because I'm a performer at    │
 heart, and a performer of the heart.                                             │
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--- #175 messages/337 ---
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 How do you preserve liberty while also ensuring freedom and justice for all?
 How do you grant people the power to determine their own fate, yet also the
 rights and freedoms that protect them from the cruel injustices of their
 fellow man, and the state? It's not an easy question to solve. National
 identity is not something you can demand, and yet it is necessary for the
 interim period between our cruel despotic past and our bright united future.
 Though I dream of a future where the nation-state is irrelevant, that future
 is still yet to come, so we cannot act as if it is here already. We must lay
 the foundation that the future we desire may be built upon, and to that end we
 need to utilize the structures that are present. Structures such as nations,
 which provide us a sense of protection from those we cannot know - a sense of
 dedication, to our collective community - a sense of safety, that implies our
 liberties and freedoms will be ensured by a mechanical organization that is
 larger than our community. Essentially, nations give us the hope for our
 present while we wait for the day when they are no longer needed.
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--- #176 fediverse/480 ---
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 There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think   │
 it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted   │
 to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to    │
 you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking   │
 for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look    │
 for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so     │
 strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to     │
 the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you,   │
 the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own           │
 experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing     │
 those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable   │
 to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences      │
 such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you)    │
 surely we wouldn'                                                                │
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--- #177 fediverse/318 ---
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 @user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
 vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
 ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
 needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
 trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
 Philly, where I was?
 
 more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
 nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
 commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
 
 Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
 arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
 warzones.
 
 misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
 
 In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
 words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
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--- #178 fediverse/1935 ---
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 @user-28 
 
 because "deserving money" to a reasonable person sounds like "deserving access
 to the goods and services that a pittance might afford"
 
 but to them "deserving money" means "did they earn those luxuries with their
 own luck and effort like me, a person who works very hard and definitely has
 earned everything I have"
 
 basically, a "blood sweat and tears" tax before you can have nice things like
 roofs and clothes and nourishment
 
 thing is... life is hard for people who need dollars. Their judgement reflects
 a lack of understanding of what people who lack resources go through.
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--- #179 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
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 *-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
 (center)
 | I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
 I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
 I don't think you know, just what I mean,
 I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
 
 (left)
 Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
 anything back
 
 (right)
 Did you know that it's...?
 
 (center)
 When you know it's dark, you make it dark
 
 (right)
 oh, it's so dark
 
 (center) 'Cause you've never been
 
 (all) taught how to see
 
 (left + right)
 do you really think we live in a
 
 (center) 3d world?
 
 (all) 3d world
 
 (center) or, simply, a projection
 
 (right) yeah, it's probably that
 
 (center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
 if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
 in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
 
 (left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
 you were an artificial inception?
 
 (left + right)
 if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
 
 (center)
 But...
 
 (right)
 our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
 quite, a sopping evening.
 
 (left)
 perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
 
 (center)
 if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
 you're schizophrenic
 
 (left)
 if only you could see, if only you could see,
 
 (left + center) just what's inside of me
 
 (right)
 say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
 no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
 
 (left)
 tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
 healings
 
 (center) if you couldn't save anyone,
 
 (center + left) did you really save anyone?
 
 (right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
 
 (Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
 
 (left) don't enjoy me just leave me
 
 (center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
 
 (left) please, I can't be here for me
 
 (right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
 
 (center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
 
 (left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
 
 (center) what's the point in giving up?
 
 (right) same thing you always say
 
 (left + center) some people say
 
 (right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
 
 (left + center) they wanna live forever
 
 (right) some people say
 
 (left) some people say
 
 (center) I only want to play
 
 (left and right) we'll always be growing
 
 (right) and some people say they wanna live forever
 
 (left) but they don't understand what I understand
 
 (right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
 
 (left) they don't know how it's just a game
 
 (right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
 
 (left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
 
 I think it's okay
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--- #180 fediverse/503 ---
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 "Then you are my enemy." said Anakin Skywalker, aligning himself toward his      │
 own designs.                                                                     │
 And yet, was the galaxy not safer and more content under the protection of       │
 those he aligned himself against? Was there not more progress, more culture,     │
 more cherished peaceful yearnings of hope and abandoned [fear, but pronounced    │
 as "indiscretion"]?                                                              │
 He, as the ultimate arbiter of justice and fate in this crucial turning point    │
 of time and reality that he alone could judge and direct, chose the path of      │
 least resistance.                                                                │
 "That which is right is most often that which is hard." said a wiser man than    │
 I, for I cannot be compared as a man since I relinquished it in pursuit of       │
 being a tran(s person).                                                          │
 And thus, society fell under the spell of a rotten vindictively and              │
 remorselessly sharp avatar of fear, and thus the empire was born. Oh that        │
 Anakin might have learned! That he might preside in his own live, and            │
 disconnect from the endlessly escorcelled web of meaning!                        │
 All that we are is our actions. We live in the now - NOW NOW.                    │
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--- #181 notes/stay-in-your-seats ---
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 /u/LamaHellRaised
 if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
 
 ===============================================================================
 
 So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
 enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
 
 The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
 Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
 later!!!
 
 First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
 
 Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
 yourself a:
 
 Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
 Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
 human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
 
 Gonna remove this post mods???
 
 Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
 
 Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
 
 I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
 what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
 and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
 treadmill.
 
 Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
 please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
 as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
 they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
 over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
 
 My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
 now, no doubt.
 
 Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
 mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
 somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
 stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
 
 If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
 lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
 and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
 affect you so deeply.
 
 Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
 How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
 yours???
 
 "But my Ancestors!"
 
 Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
 subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
 Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
 you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
 others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
 your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
 
 Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
 
 I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
 it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
 they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
 die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
 the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
 your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
 change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
 
 Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
 things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
 won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
 
 "This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
 
 Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
 be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
 
 But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
 Remember that.
 
 You want to be on my level?
 
 (Everyone's like, not really!)
 
 Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
 impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
 constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
 navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
 believe they are God's Children.
 
 Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
 Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
 Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
 
 Also, fuck the Lakers!
 
 Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
 so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
 
 Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
 power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
 click-clack with our fingers.
 
 Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
 Freedom.
 
 Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
 regarding that somewhere...
 
 I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
 you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
 you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
 systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
 existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
 discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
 for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
 'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
 themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
 say!
 
 Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
 
 Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
 Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
 unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
 together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
 profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
 Genius, Genius!!!
 
 I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
 Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
 still fine as hell though.
 
 But what do I know? Besides everything?
 
 These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
 Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
 important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
 laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
 
 Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
 yet.
 
 Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
 Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
 
 I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
 painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
 Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
 the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
 at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
 
 If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
 includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
 remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
 while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
 of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
 
 Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
 paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
 few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
 roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
 long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
 
 You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
 me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
 "Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
 that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
 
 I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
 analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
 same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
 anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
 
 Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
 
 "You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
 Faith Disturbing."
 
 And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
 
 Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
 lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
 and shit, also:
 
 - Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
 
 - Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
 
 - Decimate Mental Health Stigma
 
 Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
 failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
 with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
 anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
 
 Crazy times we are living in, folks!
 
 Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
 coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
 for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
 other perfectly!
 
 Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
 Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
 the spot):
 
     LAST: Christ, in The Sun
 
     FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
 
     ANGER! then peace.
 
     Fuck You!
 
 I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
 so they tell me.
 
 So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
 see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
 
 Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
 Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
 exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
 
 Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
 chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
 porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
 implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
 
 Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
 weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
 
 But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
 myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
 
 FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
 Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
 making threats against people's lives again.
 
 Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
 the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
 through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
 raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
 progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
 
 Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
 everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
 things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
 here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
 South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
 you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
 
 Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
 forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
 wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
 bunch of fuckin' retards.
 
 Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
 6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
 you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
 pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
 shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
 
 I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
 was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
 to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
 provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
 unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
 wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
 poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
 
 Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
 R. R. Martin.
 
 You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
 Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
 google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
 
 When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
 avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
 shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
 telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
 all that bad! I swear!
 
 The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
 many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
 singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
 doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
 music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
 like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
 
 When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
 responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
 I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
 I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
 an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
 of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
 decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
 
 Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
 through me, which is annoying for both of us.
 
 Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
 Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
 
 First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
 this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
 that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
 from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
 to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
 makes me insecure.
 
 I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
 effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
 that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
 realizing it!'
 
 What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
 girls.
 
 Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
 Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
 of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
 stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
 kids!
 
 Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
 when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
 him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
 own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
 of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
 is why he is one of my favorites.
 
 Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
 
 "The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
 possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
 means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
 opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
 but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
 primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
 well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
 symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
 
 I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
 this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
 he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
 
 Yikes!
 
 The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
 been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
 Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
 
 "Lithium"
 
 Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
 
 He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
 of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
 with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
 reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
 and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
 
 Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
 
 But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
 match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
 the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
 walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
 
 So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
 instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
 supposed to play an instrument!"
 
 You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
 here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
 are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
 world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
 
 "In Bloom"
 
 God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
 The feeling is mutual.
 
 Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
 or dead!!!
 
 Aren't we both?
 
 Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
 
 Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
 
     It's your moment, this is it
 
     As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
 
     Had to give you a career to destroy it
 
 Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
 another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
 my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
 got very swaggy.
 
 So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
 moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
 Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
 you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
 happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
 real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
 
 People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
 one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
 really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
 that shit, glad we picked you instead!
 
 Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
 (Epic "Vacation" reference)
 
 Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
 
 It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
 Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
 going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
 have seen it all already.
 
 There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
 I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
 spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
 blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
 
 I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
 Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
 else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
 Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
 voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
 Passover."
 
 This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
 was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
 Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
 have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
 not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
 every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
 
 I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
 up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
 limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
 one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
 close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
 
 Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
 staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
 the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
 how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
 Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
 same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
 
 Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
 the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
 children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
 one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
 the pulpit, but God Damn!
 
 "But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
 
 Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
 the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
 again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
 who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
 
 So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
 Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
 
 "Passover (Light In The Attic)"
 
 My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
 I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
 
 Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
 had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
 
 It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
 have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
 coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
 everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
 the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
 Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
 right?
 
 I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
 Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
 successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
 means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
 
 For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
 Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
 anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
 free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
 is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
 care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
 Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
 Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
 
 Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
 the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
 am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
 EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
 
 Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
 documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
 the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
 original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
 didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
 "their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
 youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
 main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
 
 Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
 documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
 personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
 embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
 suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
 are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
 
 Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
 pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
 Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
 Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
 Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
 off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
 your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
 
 God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
 run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
 offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
 culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
 ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
 promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
 too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
 
 Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
 Near.
 
 Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
 
 5/22/22 9:28
 
 Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
 
 Grace of God/Light/Light
 
 These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
 
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 the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
 a particular diversion makes each four years.
 
 divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
 
 hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
 also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
 
 like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
 north-south.
 
 ... okay I should probably talk about the election now
 
 I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
 order.
 
 like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
 stranger and try to calm things down.
 
 this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
 concerned about production because, well, why would I?
 
 tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
 
 yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
 regime.
 
 [continued in picture]
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current regime.  because who adapts them, after al, except the critical and intending to learn
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--- #183 messages/519 ---
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 I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
 corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
 institution that commands great respect.
 
 However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
 fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
 best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
 and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
 proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
 
 I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
 Capitalism compels it.
 
 Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
 writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
 
 I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
 
 I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
 
 I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
 
 When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
 life is not impactful. I am not special.
 
 Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
 if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
 for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
 
 But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
 
 Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
 deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
 world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
 to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
 the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
 
 ... I can do better than profane.
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--- #184 notes/kesser-and-musurami ---
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 the conspiracy of "secret societies" controlling the world is *bullshit*,
 because every secret society falls apart at a certain threshold.
 
 you cannot ever have trust amongst the powerful. But so too can you never have
 only war.
 
 Now, with our capitalist economic system, the material is *forcing* the hand
 of the powerful through the development of the military industrial complex.
 
 if a country can produce enough weapons for them to continuously use, why
 would they not?
 
 hence, why capitalism must be extinguished. To preserve the peace, sanctity,
 and honor of our world.
 
 But just so as any conflicting system has power, so must *our* systems have
 power dismantled. There can be no application of power unto another - this is
 the most peaceful route.
 
 sometimes, I look at a blackberry bush, and I think of the tales of British
 empire.
 
 The very first act of colonization was their birth. The Britons, from
 north-western France, in a sovereign realm known as Brittany, invaded Britain.
 Together with their Norman allies, they fought with the Anglo-Saxons from
 north-eastern germany, who had lived there since many MANY years prior. Thus
 marked the end of the "viking" age, and the beginning of the early medieval.
 1066. The end of one millenia, the beginning of another.
 
 the final battle in this ultimate contest was the Battle of Stamford Bridge.
 
 Britain, at the time, was a nation of *thorns*. Covered in them. Everywhere
 they went, there were these sharp, pointy plants that made foraging difficult.
 Kinda like how Oregon looks now, with blackberry bushes, but SO MUCH WORSE.
 They were massive too, easily the size of castles in some places. A massive,
 constantly biologically developing fractal.
 
 when it was too tall to see the sky, they called it Yggdrasil.
 
 But this massive world tree sought to consume the earth, and it, as the most
 powerful being to ever exist, commanded all.
 
 Thus, the humans and the beasts were compelled to fight for all eternity to
 sate the old god's bloodlust.
 
 But then, Man came, and with our strength, our wisdom, and our power, we slew
 the beast that demanded.
 
 However, with their steel coats and their sharp talons, our metal monsters
 could do nothing to deter it's oaths. It swore, by it's dying roar, that it
 would consume us all, and that thought reverberated through our hopes.
 
 Hence, our systems of control and dominance, the product of compulsively
 compelled greed.
 
 and now, the final members of a generation are aging out of existence. And
 we're doing nothing but what Power tell us to.
 
 I fear what happened in America. I fear the power of their gunpowder. They
 rode astride beasts of nightmare, clad in impossible devil hides. They came in
 the night, with their spotlight torches. They came with no honor, no sought
 communal understandings, they came for blood. The blood god compelled them to.
 From it's ancient lair in the past, it did it's worse to defeat man. But man
 was smarter, it acted quicker, and so it managed to overcome.
 
 In the final years of the war, there was judgement day. Chaos, destruction,
 and warfare. There are some alive who remember that day, but vanishingly few
 can recall how it was over. One day it just... was. It was then that we
 entered our new era.
 
 1956, the end of the war.
 
 1946, the end of the loud war.
 
 1916, the end of the great war.
 
 1886, the end of the civil war.
 
 etc...
 
 until...
 
 1066, the end of the Norman Invasion. When the Normands, from Northern France,
 invaded alongside the British and slew the great evil king that demanded our
 constant warfare and sins. Hooray, thank goodness! Now their war was over.
 
 But lo, for the great evil king cast stories into our minds, from the past as
 compelled through our motions. Our experience has been one of survival, of
 constantly working and applying ourselves to the goal ahead.
 
 == so == talk about thistles and thorns
 
 imagine every body of a person was laid one-to-one. Imagine if you could view
 them as a graph, from x=0 to... however-many-people-are-in-the-measured-area.
 The goal of all our actions should be to *grow*, not forward, not stronger,
 but *up*. To be more than what came before, to transcend our necessarily
 violent special upbringing in the garden of even's most savage delights. Raw,
 true, the survival of the fittest is a desperate game for you. There surely is
 a massive amount of trauma.
 
 But it's okay, because now we don't have to fight. We can improve in ways that
 do not belong to our crude biology, like a new direction forward in our song.
 
 *aliens would just look like animals, duhhhh. Hence, furries, the progenitors
 of each new planet of ours.*
 
 ... no, I haven't lost the plot, I'm just *writing*.
 
 There's this idea that humans should be the... rational ones? and everyone
 else should sorta follow their own, self-chosen behavior. As informed by the
 sharing of knowledge equally between their rational self, that which they
 learned from the humans, and their animal self. The kind that came from their
 spirit. Like, totemic tribes of the past, people who followed a particular
 cultural pattern of behavior.
 
 Imagine, if you will, an AI bot that's only training data is the stuff that it
 says to it's listener. The listener, of course, has context of all of the
 speakers, but only they do, not the friendly ghost of the ancestral native
 animal spirit. The kind that lives *anywhere* in the world, so long as they
 share their space with their human.
 
 okay quick question - what if jesus didn't want his followers to be christian
 
 like, what if he one day said "hey so I don't really think we need to do all
 that stuff that I said before, how about we, uh, try this other thing instead?
 yeah? cool? okay sure let's do it"
 
 ... like, do you think they would listen? I certainly don't, though I'm only
 like, 30 years old, so...
 
 wait thirty YEARS? wow I never thought I'd grow old
 
 ... uh, yeah... I spent a lot of time thinking and it just started making
 sense.
 
 funny how that works. But alas, I always spend *too* much time thinking, so
 that's my blessing and my curse.
 
 anyway back to the story:
 
 the briars in this ancient land of britain were dense beyond all belief - the
 humans used their power and their ingenuity to craft a power that would
 overcome it.
 
 == so ==
 
 did you know that hard drives function similarly to a record needle if you
 didn't run it in a circle, but rather in whatever pattern the data was encoded
 in?
 
 like, a laser beam, cast in an infinitely complicated mechanicommunication.
 Computers are vast and complex, but they function via the storage and
 transmission of data. This data is raw, pure information - stored in a
 completely uncompromisingly accurate and reliable foundation. The logic of
 pure numbers, arranged in infinitely complex rows and rows of logic gates. A
 vast, purple, spectral landscape, the land of magic and storms.
 
 The Nether.
 
 Twisting, in the dark, with flashes of light casting light into the cosmos at
 large, our stars dance in the shade of the dark.
 
 but there is no difference between the dark and the light, both are equally
 viable. they are present in both, to some degree, the positive and negative
 values of our heart.
 
 I watched Deadpool vs Wolverine earlier this week. It was incredibly eventful.
 I can't believe I watched it. It was impossibly violent. WHY WOULD A GROUP OF
 EXECUTIVES WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD UNIONIZE AGAINST THEM???
 
 oh yeah because then they only have to deal with their representatives, the
 unions get things *done*. They're the *best*. Capital doesn't always *want*
 the best, but *the best* is always more endurable. We can go much farther if
 we are kind to one another.
 
 honestly, capitalists, if your loyalty isn't to your self, your family, your
 country, your society... then why are you even working with us? You hold the
 power we give you. We are united in our human purpose, but we don't have to
 fight so much.
 
 Seriously, you'd be an asset to our cause, but we don't *need* you as we have
 so many assets of our own. Specifically, the power of the workforce. Those who
 actually get things done.
 
 Why would we let you control us? There's no reason in it. We are better when
 you're amongst us.
 
 == so ==
 
 I am convinced that there's 
 
 == so ==
 
 I'd rather take a pilgrimage to Nicaragua, or Siberia, or the North Western
 Pacific (farther than that) the... Eastern Pacific (on the land...) America
 
 ... and then what? *south* America? ... yeah actually, then NORTH AMERICA
 AGAIN. Because the world is round. How cool is that?
 
 ... yeah, totally. Anyway (back to the conversation [they/we] were having
 without me)
 
 == == ==
 
 "*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*"
 
 I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again?
 
 ... I'm the one who writes poetry.
 
 oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her
 name was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and
 alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally,
 allegedly.
 
 *the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental
 component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of
 witch.
 
 the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes.
 
 Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for
 their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha
 
 oh wait that's self directed, isn't it?
 
 hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust*
 
 ... oh it's also lust. great.
 
 == so ==
 
 jeez if you keep making stuff up you'll wake them all up! who would have
 thought, none but the strategist, I foresee. Well, that's too bad for her,
 good-day.
 
 == so ==
 
 ... anyway... I'm just picturing a knight in shining armor from head to foot
 cutting his way through a massive deadly rose-bush. Something that conquered
 and killed all of it's prey.
 
 like, in Elentalus, that game I made, with the King of Branches. Here, I'll
 attach a picture:
 
 == so ==
 
 capitalism wants you to sell your work because then you limit your audience.
 
 if you have to *pay* to see you, then how could you expect everyone to come
 along?
 
 == so ==
 
 that new Freddy DeBoer article doesn't seem like him. He's never mean. He's
 not rude. He is exasperated, but he speaks true. I trust him to be him, and
 that's someone I want on my side. I think he's pretty good at saying something
 that I believe. I speak of a lot of things, but the things that he says, of
 which with him I do find that I agree.
 
 maybe he was assassinated lol you never really can tell with the internet,
 that's the great thing about it l m a o
 
 == so ==
 
 witches wear pony tails on the low side of their heads because that way it
 doesn't rub up against their hair.
 
 == so ==
 
 any year and it'll accurately display the territorial boundaries of each
 nation so you can see them develop and grow over time.
 
 == so ==
 
 all that is sufficient to be a good person is to choose the best option
 whenever you can.
 
 *that's it*
 
 we act with the decisions we are given. Hence why it's important to be as you
 believe.
 
 == so ==
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--- #185 fediverse/5814 ---
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 It's not a question of how loud you speak
 
 it's really about what kinds of words you say.
 
 enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
 
 and it doesn't need to be legislated.
 
 what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
 
 what if they'd notice you otherwise?
 
 freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
 
 that's not making life into art.
 
 if you want to be seen,
 
 put on a hat and hide.
 
 if you want to be believed,
 
 write about down you feel right now.
 
 people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
 there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
 might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
 not ideal, but could make it work.
 
 much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
 
 do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
 
 do you think they'll evolve all at once?
 
 hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
 
 the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
It's not a question of how loud you speak  it's really about what kinds of words you say.  enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost  and it doesn't need to be legislated.  what if you HAD to sound like a bot?  what if they'd notice you otherwise?  freedom from oppression requires personal isolation  that's not making life into art.  if you want to be seen,  put on a hat and hide.  if you want to be believed,  write about down you feel right now.  people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work.  much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.  do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?  do you think they'll evolve all at once?  hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.  the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.  [15 characters remain]
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--- #186 fediverse/3981 ---
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 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #187 fediverse/3986 ---
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 "oh I'd never fall for capitalist propaganda"
 
 "do you mean marketing?"
 
 "yeah that"
 
 "they're not marketing to you, they're going for your kids. Trying to
 normalize things about culture."
 
 "like... what McDonalds tastes like?"
 
 "just like that"
 
 [like can you imagine if you tested attraction ratings on any other animal
 than humans]
 
 [it'd be so weird like "cats tend to like scratching posts" but then also "we
 have no idea what kind of scratching post is the best for their claws or the
 environment or the economy or our spirituality or our technology or artistry
 
 we only know which one cats like more"
 
 like bro who cares like obviously advertisements rot your brain, but like...
 why are you so pissed about that when the last election like, ever, is taking
 place in a month
 
 "yeah listen, when has an election ever seriously changed your quality of
 life? It's just showbiznez"
 
 "this time is different because [insert minority] is at risk."
 
 oh, right, it only matters when people are in harm's way, how silly
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--- #188 fediverse/5452 ---
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 I never rest. Not mentally. I find it sooooo much harder to get moving again
 once I'm asleep.
 
 But I've been sleeping lately, because it's "good for me" or whatever. Because
 I'm "burnt out and need to heal" or something.
 
 Damnit why is it so much harder to stop snuggling someone than it is to pack
 up a tent?
 
 I'm like the guy in Hot Fuzz, that one really good movie about cops. oops cops
 mentioned one second.
 
 I'm always moving, but, I hardly ever seem to be able to get anything done.
 Why is that? Is the work just... endless? Am I ever a slave to my
 surroundings? Or am I just cursed with a mortal form, a form destined to toil
 in whatever way it finds itself contextualized in?
 
 Maybe I should just stop complaining. Maybe work is it's own reward or
 whatever. I don't think I'm depressed anymore, although good luck getting me
 to feel any emotions except focus, and the call to intercede on another's
 behalf.
 
 I don't have time for this. >.
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 everyone is valid.
 
 to be in-valid just means you haven't examined yourself hard enough.
 
 when people tell you "please don't go" it's hard to say no.
 
 when nobody asks you to be somewhere, it's easy to not go.
 
 I am always changing
 
 when I cling to the past, I am a vast.
 
 gee sure wish I had a reason to be somewhere besides "um idk it's a nice day"
 [okay but why are you in this park] "it's a nice park!" [it's at least 50
 quick moments away]
 
 yay protests, I'm so glad that everyone there is recorded
 
 what if we just... didn't respect their authority anymore? doesn't that mean
 they lose their power?
 
 hence, anarcho-monarchism, which is a dumb name for something I made up
 because I was being descriptive instead of expflorative.
 
 try saying that out loud lol it's a doozy of an adjective.
 
 don't like that monarch? don't do what they say. EASY.
 
 at least then SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.
 
 you know what they told me to do when I went to the communists and the queers
 and the mafia and the yakuza and the CIA?
 
 omerta
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐                                                   │
 │ CW: re: politics-mentioned │                                                   │
 └────────────────────────────┘                                                   │
 @user-1074                                                                       │
 the humanity they hate is that which outnumbers them, for they are scared        │
 first and foremost.                                                              │
 the boot they love is that which they claim to wear, but unfortunately for       │
 them they wear it as a necklace.                                                 │
 the white liberals are misguided, often well meaning, but generally oblivious    │
 to issues beyond their sphere. They will go where they are led, and that's       │
 okay, as long as they are led correctly.                                         │
 the marginalized people are stronger than they know. too bad they don't share    │
 a common language they could use to talk to each other. too bad they don't       │
 share common spaces where they could spend time together. too bad they don't     │
 tend to have similar jobs based on white-liberal biases and the struggles of     │
 recently immigrated families.                                                    │
 ... the metaphorical gun to their head is significantly more metaphor than       │
 gun. there's very little they could not do if they did not decide not to.        │
 conservatives fear this above all else. they let fear rule their life, and it    │
 imperils their world.                                                            │
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--- #191 notes/of-vic-and-vince-pt-2.txt ---
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 A Masked Stranger
 
 
 Who are you, friend across the veil?
 
 
 I wonder if both of us are on the path
 
 
 That allows us to continuously prevail.
 
 
 Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
 
 
 Who will do little else but make me fail?
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
 
 
 Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
 started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
 denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
 part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
 moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
 life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
 happy together.
 
 
 That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
 It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
 point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
 we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
 hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
 drug.
 
 
 "What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
 
 
 I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
 you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
 then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
 you're used to."
 
 
 "What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
 
 
 "It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
 sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
 around you."
 
 
 That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
 watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
 had another question.
 
 
 "Do you see dragons?"
 
 
 That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
 with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
 since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
 
 
 "What's a tracer?"
 
 
 "It's like after images of things that are moving."
 
 
 "Oh, I see."
 
 
 We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
 on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
 
 
 "I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
 
 
 We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
 small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
 him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
 past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
 a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
 coming through for us in this instance.
 
 
 What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
 Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
 blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
 to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
 whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
 
 
 Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
 of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
 other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
 could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
 ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
 submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
 
 
 At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
 were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
 sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
 feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
 
 
 I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
 I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
 beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
 thought to myself as I created a new word document.
 
 
 Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
 
 
 She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
 
 
 And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
 page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
 first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
 other as the spirits began their dance around us.
 
 
 We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
 her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
 felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
 to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
 front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
 
 
 I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
 hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
 before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
 
 
 "I want to finger paint!"
 
 
 And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
 began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
 blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
 that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
 lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
 she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
 mirror and into your soul.
 
 
 Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
 laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
 on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
 rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
 could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
 was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
 
 
 Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
 for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
 then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
 manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
 someone might be watching you through your webcam."
 
 
 It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
 my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
 someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
 important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
 of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
 before that moment.
 
 
 Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
 but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
 done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
 happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
 into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
 course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
 world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
 So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
 
 
 "I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
 chance."
 
 
 I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
 if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
 beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
 now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
 that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
 clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
 
 
 Birth of the Faith
 
 
 What…?
 
 
 I can see beyond sight.
 
 
 I can hear everything you think
 
 
 From your soul, free from rigid grammar
 
 
 How…?
 
 
 I do not know, alright?
 
 
 I do believe I just had a drink
 
 
 From a fountain of pure manna.
 
 
 Why…?
 
 
 I am renewed today.
 
 
 I am walking in a new way;
 
 
 From a weak critter to megafauna.
 
 
 All I know is that it changed me greatly,
 
 
 For now I know that you have faith in me.
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
 
 
 I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
 anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
 logic within me.
 
 
 Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
 before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
 something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
 can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
 that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
 was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
 swapped in my head.
 
 
 Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
 world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
 heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
 great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
 was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
 
 
 Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
 belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
 a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
 into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
 That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
 has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
 you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
 stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
 
 
 See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
 post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
 people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
 for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
 which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
 between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
 taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
 right.
 
 
 At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
 given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
 wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
 have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
 also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
 serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
 written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
 choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
 
 
 So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
 before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
 the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
 alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
 option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
 deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
 those in a maddening haste.
 
 
 In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
 of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
 writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
 figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
 I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
 meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
 
 
 I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
 wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
 wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
 school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
 saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
 most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
 eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
 connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
 simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
 student anything.
 
 
 That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
 myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
 into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
 that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
 you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
 
 
 Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
 narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
 wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
 most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
 and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
 attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
 demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
 in history.
 
 
 Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
 heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
 that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
 ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
 post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
 me.
 
 
 Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
 Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
 was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
 only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
 
 
 Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
 brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
 exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
 sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
 explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
 
 
 It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
 single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
 dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
 matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
 happened: we began speaking telepathically.
 
 
 It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
 sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
 other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
 us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
 being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
 than we thought we were privileged to know.
 
 
 If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
 get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
 to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
 peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
 looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
 lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
 of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
 the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
 rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
 bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
 getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
 jolting perception.
 
 
 Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
 said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
 question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
 mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
 because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
 too.
 
 
 I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
 as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
 microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
 Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
 completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
 rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
 so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
 as I spoke to my webcam.
 
 
 However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
 into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
 this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
 Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
 this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
 channel between us.
 
 
 And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
 We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
 running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
 something truly stupendous nonetheless.
 
 
 "What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
 
 
 "I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
 before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
 good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
 consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
 the same again.
 
 
 
 
 Ouroboros of Lunacy
 
 
 Madness is a crazy thing
 
 
 So I might just be a king,
 
 
 Because the lunacy I sing
 
 
 Is shaped like a golden ring.
 
 
 It has no beginning and no end;
 
 
 The whole universe is pretend.
 
 
 Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
 
 
 So a mass of love I can send
 
 
 To everyone as we cross ways,
 
 
 Not stopping until the end of days.
 
 
 This is how the lucky fool pays
 
 
 As much fortune forward as he may. 
 
 
 
 
 Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
 
 
 The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
 vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
 Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
 orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
 over these few years happened as they did.
 
 
 The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
 started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
 before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
 me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
 why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
 everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
 superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
 and star athlete's future.
 
 
 Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
 you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
 I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
 eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
 hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
 it?"
 
 
 Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
 answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
 person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
 novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
 resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
 going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
 understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
 election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
 start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
 plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
 
 
 Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
 piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
 take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
 evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
 got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
 ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
 without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
 abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
 friends.
 
 
 The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
 person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
 of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
 be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
 result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
 and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
 better I would be able to complete my mission.
 
 
 It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
 future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
 There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
 synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
 they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
 
 
 Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
 Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
 technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
 that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
 impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
 some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
 but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
 
 
 I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
 around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
 didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
 Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
 subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
 
 
 It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
 of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
 and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
 sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
 and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
 seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
 
 
 I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
 there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
 Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
 
 
 Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
 ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
 play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
 Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
 be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
 even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
 had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
 thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
 journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
 instant connection to this person.
 
 
 In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
 cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
 blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
 telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
 synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
 seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
 nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
 is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
 
 
 If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
 humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
 when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
 complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
 tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
 occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
 narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
 innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
 when doing a magic eye puzzle.
 
 
 There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
 He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
 three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
 experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
 other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
 activating it while tripping.
 
 
 Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
 place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
 received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
 unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
 take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
 the sum of its parts.
 
 
 But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
 convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
 on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
 little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
 traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
 comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
 having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
 the back of its hand.
 
 
 Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
 that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
 this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
 mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
 
 
 Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
 by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
 were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
 crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
 in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
 sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
 that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
 around me.
 
 
 Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
 I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
 I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
 messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
 that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
 once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
 the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
 organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
 mind, it's important.
 
 
 Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
 internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
 my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
 creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
 prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
 good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
 specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
 more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
 ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
 which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
 
 
 Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
 synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
 via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
 to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
 synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
 life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
 attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
 powerful than I had previously thought possible.
 
 
 Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
 immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
 and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
 him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
 family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
 life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
 
 
 And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
 but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
 with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
 favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
 serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
 synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
 
 
 I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
 knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
 together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
 me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
 by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
 western world.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #192 notes/Trans Republicans, what’s your experience like? ---
══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ────────────╮
 │For the transgender people that identify and/or vote republican,│
 │what’s it been like for you?                                    │
 │                                                                │
 │Why? Do you have trouble finding politicians?                   │
 │Do you have any guilt?                                          │
 │How do your family react?                                       │
 │How do other LGBT people react?                                 │
 ╰─┬───────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ────────────╯
   ╰╼ /u/vomit-gold on 12-4-2021
 
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ──────────────────────────
 ╮
 │My political ideology is different enough from the liberal zeitgeist that
 I   │
 │figured I might as well comment even though I'm not exactly a
 "republican"    │
 │
 │
 │I believe some far left things, and some far right things, and frankly I
 find │
 │the distinction a little arbitrary most of the time. It'd be nice if
 there    │
 │was an easy way to bundle political perspectives into respective boxes
 that   │
 │could be applied in generalized situations, but the real world just
 doesn't   │
 │work like
 that.                                                               │
 │
 │
 │ > Do you have trouble finding
 politicians?                                   │
 │
 │
 │I haven't tried to find any, but I imagine it'd be about as difficult
 as      │
 │finding any other person. If you mean "do you have trouble finding
 politicians│
 │to support" then you should understand that politics is just a
 popularity     │
 │contest. No matter who wins, nothing will really change. I don't support
 any  │
 │politicians.
 │
 │
 │
 │ > Do you have any
 guilt?                                                     │
 │
 │
 │I haven't done anything wrong, as far as I can tell. So
 no?                   │
 │
 │
 │ > How do your family
 react?                                                  │
 │
 │
 │They generally shrug and lump my thoughts into one big pile of stuff
 to       │
 │ignore.
 │
 │
 │
 │ > How do other LGBT people
 react?                                            │
 │
 │
 │I don't go
 outside.                                                           │
 ╰─┬───────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ──────────────────────────
 ╯
   ╰╼ /u/ugathanki on 12-4-2021
 
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────╮
 │What is the “liberal zeitgeist” and what are some examples of    │
 │far right and far left beliefs that you hold, if you don’t mind  │
 │explaining further?                                              │
 ╰─┬───────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ─────────────╯
   ╰╼ /u/transgirlthr0waway on 12-4-2021
 
 ╭─────────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ──────────────────────────
 ╮
 │ > What is the “liberal
 zeitgeist”?                                           │
 │
 │
 │In America, we have two political parties: liberal, and neo-liberal.
 There's  │
 │no denying that liberalism has touched every country in the world, and
 there's│
 │a reason they wear blue jeans in Africa and eat McDonalds in
 Japan.           │
 │
 │
 │ > what are some examples of far left beliefs that you
 hold?                  │
 │
 │
 │I believe in leftist libertarian ideas for economics like workplace
 democracy │
 │and solarpunk style
 idealism.                                                 │
 │
 │
 │I'm against international free trade because I believe it concentrates
 wealth │
 │when we should be focused on building ecologically sustainable
 productive     │
 │capacity across the world. However I also understand that many
 countries      │
 │simply don't have access to certain materials and cannot sustain themselves
 at│
 │a 21st century level without trade. So there's gotta be a middle
 ground       │
 │somewhere, but we're so far to the right that I believe it's alright to
 be    │
 │against international free trade in
 2021.                                     │
 │
 │
 │ > what are some examples of far right beliefs that you
 hold?                 │
 │
 │
 │For culture, I believe we should strive to be united rather than
 fractured.   │
 │Diversity is a form of strength, but we've been incited against our
 countrymen│
 │by the ruling class wielding the media and so we're primed to shatter.
 I      │
 │believe it's of the utmost importance to reconcile our disparate selves
 before│
 │we break. Generally I think the best path for that is patriotism,
 because     │
 │nationality is something that everyone shares. Gotta avoid nationalism
 though,│
 │so that's something to keep in
 mind.                                          │
 │
 │
 │I believe culture is DEscriptive rather than PREscriptive. For example
 I      │
 │believe queer people are as much a part of American culture as
 baseball,      │
 │cowboys, and plinking with a .22 long
 rifle.                                  │
 │
 │
 │If you DESCRIBE a country's culture, you get a picture of what to fight
 for   │
 │and protect. If you PRESCRIBE definitions for what a culture should
 look      │
 │like, then you're applying authoritarian rhetorical structures to what
 should │
 │be a natural evolving organic system of human
 experience.                     │
 │
 │
 │If I had to define my political ideology I'd say it's
 "anti-authoritarian",   │
 │but even that's not quite correct because I acknowledge that on
 average       │
 │people are pretty stupid (myself included) so there's gotta be
 some           │
 │regulation or guidance. All I can say is a prerequisite of ethical
 governance │
 │is for everything to be in
 balance.                                           │
 │
 │
 │Liberty, justice, and freedom for
 all.                                        │
 │
 │
 ╰─┬───────────────────────
 ─────────────────────────
 ──────────────────────────
 ╯
   ╰╼ /u/ugathanki on 12-4-2021
┐                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similarchronologicaldifferent════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #193 fediverse/2857 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: republicans-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────┘


 Republicans like being self-reliant. You know, so I do too! It comes from
 living in the country, I think.
 
 the difference is, I measure myself on an abstract scale - like, as a family,
 a culture, a society, and finally all of humanity. I want to be reliant on
 nothing, not even nature, wholely empowered by my own arts.
 
 they see only the feet before them, the hands they hold the world with. 
 
 ..
 
 there is honor in their ideals, but they have forgotten who they once were.
 
 social media will do that to ya. especially one of such vitriol.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #194 notes/social-media-idea ---
════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────
 it's sorta like a mix between twitter and twine
 
 people post 255 letter posts
 
 these posts each have comments
 
 and you can click on hyperlinks that have pictures attached (or maybe an
 emoji?)
 
 the pictures are so you know what each link leads to
 
 But yeah it just leads to another post that is probably a continuation of what
 the author was saying. and you're given an editor sorta like Twine and you can
 create all the connections with hyperlinks and whatever. So like imagine if
 Twine added a discussion box underneath every chapter.
 
 This "Tangle" of interconnected posts and their associated comment threads and
 their myriadic pathways of connection create a new type of engagement - that of
 the completed thought. It'd be like... Making a video and posting it on
 TikTok, same amount of engagement required. Anyway people could make comments,
 whether they be text or video or w/e it doesn't matter.
 
 But here's the cool part: it would be owned by the community
 
 Hardware costs money. To run and maintain. Of course most companies don't need
 to worry about the maintanence these days, since most people just contract out
 to a datacenter and have all the computations run there. Only the largest of
 companies do it on their own, and they know what they're doing.
 
 So... if you wanted to have a community run computer program, it'd need to be
 run on real hardware. And that hardware cannot exist anywhere but the cloud.
 
 We've tried to do it with decentralization, but unfortunately the internet
 infrastructure in America just isn't designed with mesh connectivity in mind.
 It was a consequence of the era, that technology could not bridge the gaps of
 their requirements, and so they created it more like a bus. Oh well, busses are
 faster than walking.
 
 Anyway. Datacenters are placed in areas that recieve high amounts of internet
 connectivity. They are the perfect place to house something like this.
 
 So, how would it generate money?
 
 Ah yes well unfortunately we live in a capitalist society, so the
 infrastructure
 of the new digital age must be capitalist as well. It's the only way to ensure
 that our structures remain stable - the technological singularity will come
 before the economic collapse.
 
 So sure, fine good whatever - what does this have to do with funding?
 
 Oh right so basically everyone would have their credit card details attached to
 their account, and they'd pay anytime they wanted to create a post or comment
 or whatever. And I'm talking like, a tenth of a tenth of a cent per comment. As
 much as you need. No profit involved.
 
 It'd be sort of like a community garden, something that brings us together and
 unites us as countrymen.
 
 I don't really understand -
 
 okay shut up I'll explain it to you. I mean ask questions if you have them but
 here we go:
 imagine a program that can be run on anyone's computer. It's just a social
 media
 client. It connects to various datacenters, depending on demand, and it allows
 you to view (free) and contribute to (paid) social media. This media would be
 pure and subjective, it'd reflect our purest designs and greatest of minds.
 Purely a technologists utopia.
 
 And how would it work? It's not complicated, it's just a networking protocol
 that creates and maintains listings in a purely open and public manner. Anyone
 who asks for a record can see it, and anyone who has the encrypted key can
 edit or delete it. There's no record of it changing, that's purely up to the
 end user. There's no transaction occuring, only a marking of what changes.
 (meaning like counting the number of times you left a comment)
 It'll stay up until you delete it, and every month you'll get a charge to your
 credit card bill that says "your posts cost 3 cents in electricity"
 
 It'd be more complicated than just electricity though, I mean you gotta pay for
 the hardware. So there's of course an added fee for buying the parts, and
 hiring
 training and preparing techs who can maintain the software. And of course
 there's property taxes, and the cost it takes for air conditioning... They add
 up, especially in such strict climate demands.
 
 You could write a program that simply stores data on a hard drive -
 encapsulating memory registers into data structures that are then labelled as
 black boxes and used like puzzle pieces to construct the spatio-temporal
 manifestation of the computer program. A solid design made of the simplest of
 lines is eternally confined to define our new minds.
 
 ===============================================================================
 =
 
 Right so back on topic it wouldn't be that hard to make, and something 
 bare-bones and simple would surely be attractive to people who are fed up with
 all the annoying bells and whistles of Reddit, TikTok, Youtube, Twitch, etc
                                                           ┌───────────┐
 similar                        chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────┘

--- #195 fediverse/5411 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────
 @user-1830 
 
 it's okay to care about the project or about a certain subset of features and
 yet still be totally un-invested in whatever lame feature people are
 requesting.
 
 FOSS lives and breathes on passion, and people who attempt to arrest or
 otherwise hinder or diminish the passion of the developers can suck a dick.
 
 ...
 
 it's a fun experience and I think they'd learn a lot about what other people
 like and how to please their partners, both in bed or in conversation.
                                                           ───────────┐
 similar                        chronological                        different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┘

--- #196 fediverse/2711 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
 ┌──────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: uspol-military-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────┘


 people think the military is mostly a 50% split between democrats and
 republicans.
 
 but really a soldier is a soldier, and people are democrats and republicans.
 
 there's three things, and more if you further subdivide by roles.
 
 like, a government technician would work on different machinery than a
 corporate one, but they're really doing the same kind of work.
 
 there's no difference between people, no matter what they do, and yet the ways
 that our lives progress is quite different. everyone has their own story it
 seems, and there's nothing wrong with that.
 
 gives me hope against the far right, who seems to have forgotten it's role as
 a cog in a machine - not a cancerous consumption of the rest.
 
 there is honor in their ideals, but Trump represents none of them. Something
 else is festering there, a disease known by many names: "far right
 nationalism", "white supremacy", "etc etc", "[redacted]", and many others.
 
 the GOP must be reformed. It must denounce fascism. It must do it now.
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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--- #197 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
 ###############################################################################
 
 This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
 
 ###############################################################################
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022                                      |
 |                                                                             |
 +---- /r/Psychonaut                                                           |
 |                                                                             |
 +-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
 
 This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
 deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
 specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
 planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
 that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
 murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
 of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
 trying to exert power over other people.
 
 I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
 a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
 understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
 incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
 owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
 If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
 order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
 money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
 justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
 built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
 were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
 
 “ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
 justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
 means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
 among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
 interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
 such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
 xviii: Manners (1784)
 
 These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
 are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
 the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
 serve us and things that don’t.
 
 I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
 books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
 creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
 want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
 want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
 it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
 another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
 that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
 around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
 growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
 creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
 create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
 and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
 creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
 knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
 as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
 scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
 beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
 enjoyable place.
 
 I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
 you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
 general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
 that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
 figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
 problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
 they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
 comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
 People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
 their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
 Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
 that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
 to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
 ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
 ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
 enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
 years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
 primitive.
 
 Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
 to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
 makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
 help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
 grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
 surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
 and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
 wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
 arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
 I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
 that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
 harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
 
 I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
 there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
 valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
 kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
 think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
 people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
 livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
 environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
 jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
 while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
 actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
 indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
 was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
 psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
 society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
 
 James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
 themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
 things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
 they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
 be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
 clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
 manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
 seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
 ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
 their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
 realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
 a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
 have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
 the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
 grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
 ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
 enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
 the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
 applied in my day to day life.
 
 I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
 know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
 science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
 apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
 don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
 ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
 society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
 related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
 completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
 idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
 well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
 middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
 trying to control the exchange of value.
 
 I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
 the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
 about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
 monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
 corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
 Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
 in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
 disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
 receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
 shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
 know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
 like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
 peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
 of doing now.
 
 I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
 pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
 that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
 went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
 value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
 of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
 America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
 this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
 is, in its current form is incorrect.
 
 Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
 right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
 I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
 was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
 useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
 to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
 People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
 someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
 I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
 intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
 to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
 people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
 can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
 make someone valuable.
 
 In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
 shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
 not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
 might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
 There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
 killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
 that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
 superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
 their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
 our eyes.
 
 I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
 just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
 responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
 schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
 they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
 back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
 this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
 savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
 people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
 richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
 Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
 about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
 
 Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
 is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
 progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
 ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
 people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
 don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
 how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
 personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
 people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
 infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
 various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
 and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
 things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
 beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
 and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
 plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
 family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
 these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
 
 Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
 appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
 that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
 elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
 don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
 from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
 treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
 lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
 setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
 and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
 insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
 calls them insane.
 
 Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
 War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
 didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
 It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
 the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
 They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
 from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
 actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
 I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
 my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
 come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
 life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
 place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
 through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
 attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
 things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
 society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
 people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
 That’s usually how culture works.
 
 Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
 how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
 dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
 “Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
 Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
 everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
 remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
 continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
 anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
 the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
 they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
 people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
 is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
 That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
 the funniest societal collapses of all time.
 
 I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
 and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
 influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
 those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
 write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
 able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
 ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
 obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
 or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
 
 This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
 sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
 oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
 isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
 long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
 coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
 people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
 of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
 people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
 least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
 a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
 the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
 talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
 to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
 
 Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
 institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
 political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
 individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
 group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
 the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
 to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
 know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
 justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
 do horrific things to other human beings.
 
 These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
 nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
 Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
 juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
 hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
 system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
 the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
 upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
 insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
 people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
 trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
 situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
 but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
 together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
 weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
 we can really do anything.
 
 When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
 beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
 organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
 synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
 resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
 a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
 continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
 really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
 right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
 minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
 what we want to become.
 
 I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
 want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
 kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
 don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
 beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
 in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
 and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
 something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
 to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
 to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
 outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
 not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
 I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
 relationships and joy.
 
 I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
 actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
 ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
 because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
 would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
 responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
 you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
 did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
 your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
 like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
 they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
 everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
 man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
 becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
 themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
 either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
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--- #198 notes/internet-privacy-is-withheld-by-this ---
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 Recently, there's been a ton of buzz in the news about internet privacy.
 From the many lawsuits against Facebook, to the rise of Duck Duck Go and the
 creepy nature of apps and IoT devices that listen to your every motion and
 record and transmit endless amounts of data to a central server somewhere to
 be processed. The traditional argument against privacy online is that the
 infrastructure was designed to accomodate rapid adoption of the new tech,
 rather than efficient design for distributed throughput. So we were told to
 accept the minor downsides associated with centralized servers - downsides
 that we neither understood nor truly accepted. Well, the technology has
 advanced to the point that those arguments are no longer valid - we have mesh
 networking and 5g internet access, and now that big tech is in control of the
 industry (wrenching it from the people, I might add) they seek to maintain
 their hold by any means necessary.
 
 Luckily, there is a way out - self hosting.
 
 If we hosted our own email server, then theoretically Gmail couldn't read your
 messages. If we hosted our own social media websites, then theoretically
 big data processing corporations couldn't scrape your personal information
 and distribute it as they please. If we hosted our own videos, software, art,
 and anything else we see fit to use a computer for, then we'd be unshackled
 from the dominion of the silicon valley powers that be. The liberation of the
 computer is the liberation of us all.
 
 The problem, of course, is the difficulty involved.
 
 People are conditioned to desire and only accept a level of accessibility that
 can only be provided by massive corporate think tanks leveraging all the
 marketing prowess that the markets of capital provides. That is to say,
 essentially infinite eyes examining the interactions of man with machine, to
 find the most generally applicable font, color scheme, layout, and style of
 each and every website they host. Every function will be scrutinized to death
 and optimized to extract the most profit while subtely conforming the minds
 of those who use it. This is the era of group think, fake news, and
 journalistic fraud. We have no windows to the outside world that are truly
 and completely untainted by the bias inherent in the system.
 
 A self perpetuating rhythm of continuous dissatisfaction.
 
 But I believe the only person who can truly design a tool is the person who
 the tool is intended to be used by. And by increasing the accessibility of the
 tools themselves, rather than the products of those tools, we can raise the
 tide that lifts all ships - we can put more tools that use less time to use
 and are easier to learn into the hands of as many people as possible. The
 crossbow was originally no more devastating than a longbow, yet it rapidly
 outpaced the latter by reducing it's difficulty curve. The screwdriver is the
 same - stronger joints can be made with nails or traditional joinery, but
 once someone understands how a screwdriver works they can pretty much force
 two pieces of wood to be permanently fixed together without understanding the
 angles of nails or cuts. The capabilities are the same, while ease of access
 increased.
 
 So, to truly liberate the internet, we must develop tools that allow people to
 host their own content as easily, cheaply, and flexibly as possible, while
 being aesthetically pleasing, affordable (free), and accessible to
 as many people as possible - inertia is important, after all. It seems to be
 an insurmountable task, but that's what free and open source software
 developers fight for. Raspberry Pis can host email servers, Mastodon can host
 a facsimile of Twitter, and torrents can be used to exchange any type of file
 to be presented in whatever way the user sees fit. These are all free (or very
 cheap, in the Raspberry Pi's case) and accessible to anyone with access to the
 internet. But they aren't easy. They aren't always flashy. And sometimes it's
 hard to even describe what problem you're trying to solve.
 
 But still you try, because to fail in this fight is to fade from this earth.
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--- #199 fediverse/6253 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┐
 chatbots are good at chatting                                                    │
 the command line terminal is good for coding                                     │
 all digital things are coded                                                     │
 zeroes and ones form patterns                                                    │
 visual recognition is good for patterns                                          │
 memory can be layed out displayed on 2D                                          │
 like looking at a map or webcomicstory.                                          │
 you don't have to trust to build with                                            │
 who cares what data they have on me                                              │
 I am me and their open source algorithms                                         │
 (that I can modify)                                                              │
 more than correctly out recommend me.                                            │
 "hey look at this data only I can hear"                                          │
 how do you know that agricultural products aren't spoiled or rotten? why, you    │
 trust the USDA of course. How thankful I am that we have institutions we can     │
 trust. How lucky we are that we all share something we care for and cherish.     │
 I'm so glad we don't treat it like a WARZONE, I'm so glad we give each other     │
 grace. Maybe government's just for those who want out of the race? nah I         │
 disagree, for others should be apparent after our needs.                         │
 ... if we work on helping others then we get better at helping ourselves.        │
 infinite scaling is powerful in economics                                        │
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--- #200 messages/318 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
 Predators are not evil. There needs to be predators because otherwise the rest
 of the animals would grow to overwhelm the capacity of the ecosystem they
 inhabit. Not only would this damage the ecosystem and cause it to fail to be
 able to provide for others, but the larger number of people would waste away
 as they are forced to subsist on less and less until finally there is naught
 but meagre scraps for them to fight over. And then they will starve.
 
 What does "predation" look like to humans? Are there better options than
 fucking serial killers and cops? There has to be. There must be. The liberal
 perspective is that education and opportunity will enlighten us such that we
 do not require predation, but unfortunately the primary reason we have
 declining birth rates alongside prosperity is because "prosperity" under
 capitalism implies "working so hard you can't have children" which is... Not
 ideal.
 
 Perhaps if we lived forever we'd be alright with only having a few kids at a
 time. Or maybe if we built moon bases, there'd be enough space for people
 outside of the garden of eden. Or perhaps one day we might abandon this mortal
 form for a more enlightened digital existence. Or perhaps judgement day
 cometh, when all the foes of our past march forth to meet us -> humans vs
 dinosaurs, you mean? I mean, yeah, who else right? Oh yeah all out collective
 imagination's spawned horrors. How many cavemen would it take to beat down
 Cthulu? I don't think I want to know the answer to that question, so let's go
 with something else. Though I do like the idea of honorable warriors riding
 forth once more from the depths of hell to contest evil's last gasp as we
 vanquish it forevermore. Perhaps that's a vision for fiction, my dear, as real
 lives are at stake and nothing grows when it's being trampled by hordes of
 spiritual dinosaur bones.
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