=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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│ CW: unnecessarily-lewd-hehe │
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@user-138
😋 🙃 😅 🥰
"uhhhh I dunno lemme check:
:ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant:
:ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant: :ms_eggplant: ⭕
oh hey looks like there's a spot right at the end there - wait that's a butt,
hold up"
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/3117 ---
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│ CW: cursed-uspol │
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hey. wanna know what would be really cursed?
--
if trump dropped out and musk took his place
--
good thing it'll never happen because those dinguses can't accept defeat and
will never tactically retreat
--
maybe something to keep in mind for 4 years from now. eyes on the prize for
now means our eyes aren't to our flanks.
what else could they do that would come out of left field?
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--- #2 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #3 fediverse/6100 ---
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if you live in a place where it rains a lot you pretty much HAVE TO pick up
any secret notes you find. Otherwise they'll get waterlogged overnight.
Sometimes I like to put them somewhere shaded from the sky, sometimes I like
to show them to a friend (but the friend never takes them, booooo) and
sometimes I just keep them.
"ah but aren't you worried about messing up drug deals and stuff" no, because
most of the time "secret notes" are like "eggs milk bread chips salsa cheese"
and it's like "hmmmm what could it mean"
there's like, 2% of the time when they say something cool like "I know what
you did" or "all your base are belong to us" or whatever and those are fun to
hunt for. I usually try and put those somewhere shelted so they don't have to
leave their habitat - sometimes it's hard to drop them as the author so they
just sorta go wherever, but as a random passer-by I have the luxury of saying
"HMMMM now where could THIS ONE go?" and that's nice because I can put them
under an umbrella or whatevers rite
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--- #4 fediverse/5375 ---
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│ CW: police-mentioned-psy-ops-mentioned-human-waste-mentioned-which-is-a-nice-way-to-say-feces-ew-gross-who-put-that-on-my-timeline-guards-arrest-these-men-they're-criminals-of-the-law-against-pooping-my-pants │
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what if we psyopped the copps um I mean what if we flash-mobbed the cops er
wait hang on what if we marched with signs and changed what was on their minds
uhhhh that won't work it's disabled so they say wait hang on who said you
could poop your pants this is a combat scenario there's no time for fooling
around in her pants with the hand
... wait, what was I going on about?
oh yeah,
-- stack overflow --
anyway, as I was saying, [something completely unrelated]
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--- #5 fediverse/2286 ---
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│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
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... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #6 fediverse/5029 ---
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went on a walk with my dad today. it was fun. took him to various places.
showed off various things. "hey check out where I hangout most weekends" and
"hey don't clean the dishes in my kitchen it's okay" and "don't drive too
fast, this area curves up ahead" and "hey meet my friends from town who you
have something with common with" and "I like this view when it rains" and
"don't forget to go to the bathroom" and "oatmeal is good with carrots and
sharp dried fruits" and "here's my favorite thai place" and "I made this after
I dreamed of you" and "hey wanna hear my product pitch" and "this is my
favorite kind of beer" and "I miss home."
picture unrelated.
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--- #7 fediverse/4654 ---
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│ CW: cannabis-and-other-drugs-mentioned │
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #8 fediverse/3752 ---
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@user-1218
It's a person with a thumbs up who has a fountain of tears streaming down
their cheeks. Any time you see the T.T fountain of tears emoticon you should
view it as slightly sarcastic - they're not actually crying, it's more like a
"ahhhhhh" type of thing instead of a "[cry cry cry]" forever type of thing.
Oh also the z is them with their other hand on their hip all sassy like.
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--- #9 fediverse/2352 ---
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│ CW: pol │
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Nobody will tell you what to do, at least not until you ask. Be where they can
see you, and you'll be given a task. If you can do it, say "BRB" - one moment,
let me handle that for you.
If you can't, say "good luck", and they'll find someone else who can.
It's okay to pass a task off - if someone says "Here's what I need, gotta go"
then you say "sure, yeah, I'll get someone on it" - then, go find someone to
do it.
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--- #10 fediverse/5299 ---
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@user-1800
also googly eyes on sunglasses to fuck with their eye-movement-tracking
... wait, then you wouldn't be able to see. okay how about you place the
googly eyes on the forehead part of a HELMET of some kind, which should help
protect your "not-gonna-get-back-up" parts from harm.
and don't forget sunglasses because they help with the UV-ray violet
radicalization.
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--- #11 fediverse/5920 ---
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everyone's all like "ew touchscreens in cars" but the moment someone says
"what if phones were gameboys" everyone's all like "girl they don't have the
right hardware radios built in for cellular communication, plus do you really
wanna be tied to wifi" and I'm like "yeah so peer to peer" and it's like "what
use is it if you gotta stay within 100 feet of them or whatever" and I'm like
"... I dunno probably somethin'" and then they walk away in a huff because
they're too busy for my child-style games. Meanwhile girls have never heard of
Streetpass on the Nintendo DS mixed with Scuttlebutt on the ocean and carried
into and around port
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--- #12 fediverse/200 ---
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congratulations, you never need to adventure again. your necessities are taken
care of.
ah, but that'd make for a pretty boring life, wouldn't it? perhaps, depending
on your personality type.
but you're not one to stick around doing nothing but eating, drinking, and
being merry.
no, you're an adventurer, you crave excitement and glory. whatever that means
to you...
just make sure a goblin doesn't come across your corpse, they have a VERY
short term memory and a propensity for collecting shiny things. That's just
asking for dragon-bait, and we don't want that in our area, no thank you. This
is a nice neighborhood you see, my neighbors three miles away all agree, so
you can take your magic pocket and see all that you can see... way over
yonder, if you please.
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--- #13 fediverse/5079 ---
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what if you boosted everything when someone liked it [when someone liked your
post] and if they boost it then you read the first couple posts on their
paragraph, just to say "hey" in return
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--- #14 fediverse/5636 ---
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I think it's ironic how I ended up posting a "things I almost posted"
screenshot directory somewhere other than where I almost posted them.
and all they saw were the outtakes.
I bet they'd see a completely different point of me,
but they never talk to me
so they don't know me.
oh well, alas, it's fine I'm sure I'm being designed.
who can say, I am but at productive play, please react so I can do ongoing
story. I learn from each and every encounter I encounterate.
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--- #15 fediverse/593 ---
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When you run out of a seasoning, put the empty bottle in a special place that
you can see before going to the store.
When I carried a purse, I'd put it in there. Could also go in the pocket of a
sweatshirt or jacket that you wear when doing errands. Maybe even just on the
ledge next to your shoes. Something that reminds you to get this particular
seasoning, and no others. It's easy to get others...
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--- #16 fediverse/4744 ---
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│ CW: cat-mentioned │
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me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
puke, okay?"
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--- #17 fediverse/3061 ---
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every time I read a subtoot I assume it's about me and I mentally curl up into
a ball
doesn't matter if it's totally irrelevant, if there's no target specified it
defaults to me because... like, who else is there right?
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--- #18 fediverse/5512 ---
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I never give up
I'm just waiting my turn
"laughs nervously"
so, uh, why dontchya'll go first yeah I've already gone first and I'll do it
again but it'd be cool if I had people going first with me sometime
"girl all you do is walk around and talk about how you bought your hat on the
internet four or so years ago"
T.T what else do you want from me I'm not a mastermind I'm a designer there's
a difference T.T
"didn't you volunteer to be a leader last year"
oh, yeah, well leaders are more than just "the ones who go first" they're also
the spiritual and emotional guiders that keep things on track once everyone
can talk about things other than their hats
... fuck I want to talk about things besides my hat. I always think of
something awesome to say just as I'm rounding the bend, and whenever I peer
back around again they're never around. Rats.
"what are you even asking for"
I don't know?? Does it matter if the horse and the bishop both take the same
square if they're claimed themselves in the end? ...wat
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--- #19 fediverse/5580 ---
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yay farmers markets
what if farmers markets but every day and staffed with people who want to hang
out and pass out food for free
"a truck just arrived with a bunch of zuchinnis, can you help me load them
into that tend over there?"
"hello bus stop people, I was just at the farmers market and I was wondering
if you want some cherries? make sure you throw the pits at that tesla over
there [jk if you're in a place that does this, the tesla 90% guaranteed has
one of those "I bought this before I knew Elon was crazy!" type of bumper
stickers]"
"hi do you know where the watermelons are? Oh, they aren't in season? darn
well I love watermelons and I think some greenhouse space should be spent on
growing them for watermelon enthusiasts like me"
alternatively, farmers "markets" on every street like they do in Mexico where
every time a truck with produce drives past they stop and say "hey want some
raspberries" until they run out
then people can walk past and get food, or drive past because suburbs.
bike
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--- #20 fediverse/4665 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
allies, right?
... right?
anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
history, let's see how it goes...
you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
valorizing.
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