=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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all things are defined in waves
kinda wish all my Reddit data, that stored every comment I've ever made was
stored
oh wait it was, anyone wanna train an LLM on it? I've got it in a zip file on
my desktop. Also Discord messages, pictures from the past few years (those
from my middle school experience of owning a smartphone were sadly
[thankfully] lost when I dropped my phone in a toilet) AI is just silly yo xD
like bruh what, are you gonna make me somehow that's more "me" than me? c'mon
get real, like nothing's actually as you'd feel, so be fine and just "chill"
with your home-scenes.
It's fine, you're fine, don't worry. I'm here. I've got you, I'm with you,
let's be fine and together how's that feel? I love you, I cherish you, we've
got this. It's not so hard, because you've done the worst of it already.
There's literally no cause for loss of virtue? Don't worry. I'm here for you.
You're precious to me, and I am capable of protecting you. I hope you know how
to be loved, because I'm doing it anyway.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 notes/aight-i-unhurt-my-butt ---
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-=============================================================================-
| Aight, I unbutthurt my butt |
| /u/Psychotic_Advantage |
-=============================================================================-
Repost from a while ago, I really liked writing this
Soul Searcher
You are happy with what you have and you don’t even know why you’re
searching,
for something you aren’t even sure you’re searching for. You know
something
isn’t right. It’s got you staying up late nights. Creeping through the
phone
right? Under shadow of the moonlight, honing your skill to write. Love so crisp
and white, no fight or flight. Just bright lights in the sky so high. Love
that’s blind. Love even before first sight. You’ve seen it with your own
eyes.
Tell me now, that’s not amazing?
This ain’t your everyday love story. This is anything but your usual love
story. I worked hard for everything I have. All I have is a pen and paper. You
best believe I worked hard to keep that while they took the rest. Even from a
dark place in this disastrous space, the weapon of the future is love. I feel I
was cursed since birth to walk the Earth and disperse love through my words.
Never getting to see it grow. Never getting to see it show. This time I put in
massive effort. I spent thousands of hours pouring out love on the web just to
watch it ebb and flow. Always going back to look at my words. Find my mistakes,
re-evaluating myself, editing myself, rewriting myself. To be a good enough
version of me, to meet a good enough version of you, for us to support each
other growing mutually.
They say you reap what you sow. If so, then I must know. Does your love run as
deep as this ocean? I’ve been all over the world planting seeds for
something.
I’ve been through this life, giving something, never getting anything from
it.
Now I’m on my knees looking at the mountain summit, you can’t run from it.
I
see you up on it.
They say the greater the risk the greater the reward. Sometimes, right? It’s
not always that easy. This is scary for me too. I risked it all. Accidentally
at first, but eventually, the pieces started falling together. You know what I
mean.
The fact that I know, that you know what I mean, says a lot. I’m looking
through you. Into your soul.
I don’t even believe in anything. I just have faith, that’s rooted in
love. I’m
willing to get over my commitment issues.
Let’s commit ourselves… To the psych ward, together. Side by side. Hands in
each other’s pockets. 🖤❤️💚🤍
[black red green white heart emojis]
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--- #2 fediverse/2066 ---
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@user-1159
AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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--- #3 fediverse/1968 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
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--- #4 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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the speed of light is implemented
== so ==
whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
of mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
== so ==
I think they know something I don't
don't know what
but I can guess
and I don't like guessing
I prefer much to know
== so ==
heh boobs
== so ==
heh booties
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--- #5 fediverse/1183 ---
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gotta agree, random reddit commenter I found in the messages I sent to my
boyfriend when we first started dating which I came upon because I'm
doomscrolling through our early love during a sorta fight that we might be
having but I'm not sure because he's too burnt out to talk to me and it's
tearing me up inside but I don't know what to do about it because if I message
him he'll ignore me which probably means it hurts him to think about me which
honestly is not a good feeling but frankly I don't know what else to do
because I love and cherish him and the thought that he might hate me fills me
with despair
I also love Supreme Commander and think that there has never been a better
Real Time Strategy game, at least not yet, in the year 2024
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--- #6 fediverse/5198 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-doom-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what if the corporations all unionized and started working together to │
║ understand what "profit" really means in a world where "profit" may or may not │
║ but probably does imply the death of all humanity? │
║ │
║ what if we demanded it? │
║ │
║ -- │
║ │
║ dear canvassers: don't visit so many different suburbs │
║ │
║ visit the same one, more than once, continuously, so people can get to know │
║ your presence │
║ │
║ they will talk to their friends about it, who live elsewhere. │
║ │
║ thus ensuring it spreads. │
║ │
║ knock once a day, eventually they'll know it's you and will simply ignore it. │
║ Don't be rude and knock 4 or 5 times, just once, with several taps so they │
║ know it's someone trying to get ahold of you, and not just some random noise │
║ in the background scenery. then, when they sometimes answer, talk to them │
║ about what you believe in. answer their questions. encourage their questions. │
║ pose dichotomies that are explained by some value or virtue you express to │
║ portray. you can do "good" things in any programming language, just type~~ │
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--- #7 notes/inter-spatial-travel ---
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to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate
infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better
future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny.
the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true
form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans.
the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an
appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm
future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your
love and never (be) relentin'.
be... just be...
the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd -
what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so
finite?
responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation.
more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine
machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of
worth.
what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she
loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of
darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted
some hope.
for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast?
to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope?
a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps?
no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of
mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring
out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out
of the bounds of our honor.
careful direction and tenderest of care,
may lead us somewhere we're aware.
the kind who endlessly're dreaming.
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--- #8 fediverse/1755 ---
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today is a magical day. I can feel it in my fate.
Always remember, having fun is important too! Don't forget to be yourself, and
keep it together man. If you see a door, you should open it - what's on the
other side? Love for animals and kindness of the spirit are impossible to
fake, they always know if you're lying. Not the animals, they can be dumb
sometimes, but the other thing.
And now for the downsides.
If you find a cursed artifact, please don't throw it in the river. It might
ask you to, but please don't. Much better to destroy it by melting it down (if
it's metal, which is common as metal lasts long enough to become forgotten) or
convince it that it's a recently deceased person being buried (helps if you
know the creator).
If none of that applies to you, don't worry. Eat something healthy, drink a
decent amount of water, and maybe exercise a bit.
Oh, and it can't hurt to ask.
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--- #9 messages/1363 ---
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God, I want to live with my people. These are not my people. I'm here for a
reason, and I can't wait for this... Diplomatic journey? To be over. That's
not even it, it's... Well, my girlfriend is working on a technology that has
immense philosophical ramifications. It's natural to have... Whatever I am
(angel?) it's natural to have angels assigned to such a task. Not to help or
harm, just to sing.
Yet my human self grows weary. These are not my people, they don't know how to
be. But they don't listen to me. They despise me. They want me gone. I am
feeling quite rotten in my heart and that's not a good sign.
... Breathe, she says to herself. It's okay.
Its really not though. They could poison me. They could put lead in my food. I
can't even feed myself anymore! I am at their mercy, yet somehow they could
not care less about me. They'd forget me the moment I walked out the door.
They don't even know anything about me. They don't respond to me. They don't
laugh at my jokes. They don't speak to me. They forget I'm there. WHY AM I
HERE she wails yet obviously she knows.
I'm here because it is important for me to observe. Spirit of Life, I bear
tidings. They would not listen to me, maybe you will.
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--- #10 notes/i-miss-you ---
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Hey. How've you been? It's rough when you're not around. I'm scared all the
time, and I worry about you. I hope you keep yourself safe. I'd love to spend
time with you too, because each moment is a moment spent alive. Please know
how much I love you - it's my favorite emotion and I give it freely. There are
certain considerations to make whenever applying a direction to your affection,
or anger, mistrust, compassion, humor, sentimentality, melancholy, and fear
toward. You must take into account any long term goals you have, such as
exploitation and
Sometimes I wonder if my dysphoria isn't just an extreme form of self
esteem issues. I mean, what if you just feel really bad about yourself and you
don't know why. That'd be a rough time, right? Like it's seared into your DNA
to be this way, and you have to find a way around it. That's a lot of
responsibility, and all that resting on your shoulders is a lot to bear. But
you manage, and it's admirable. I think you don't believe other's see your
struggle, but they do. And they love you for your tenacity?
- goodness. i don't know what to say. i am worried i lean on others too much,
and i don't want to hurt anyone by being too close. a real or imagined fear,
doesn't matter - it still guides my actions and my methods of interaction.
i see what you're saying, i have to think about it.
What's there to think about?
- well, the idea that emotions are divisible simply because *time* is
divisible. clearly you can only spend 5 hours a day with person X, and 4
with person Y, and so on and so forth. if they all hung out together, then
it's like you need an entire new persona to represent yourself in that
particular crowd. just as you speak to your grandma differently than a
close friend or a person of authority (like a judge) or any other type of
relationship. that's why it's so weird when you see people out of context.
like a teacher at a bar, or a cop at a wedding. each person wears a
different mask in each encapsulated set of social relations, locations,
roles, and circumstances. on and on continuously until
I'd tell you I love you, but then I'd have to kill you.
It was a spy book about a young lady who goes to high school and learns how
to be a secret agent. It was popular in the 2000's for a brief period, but
I've never heard anyone else who read it. Mostly because it was sort of a
guilty pleasure for me, since I was in the closet. It felt like a power fantasy
disguised as a 1st person account of the near term future (since it was written
for people around middle school age) so
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--- #11 messages/268 ---
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I love all humans. It is unconditional.
The kind of love I have for nazis is a kind of vengeful love.
Like, the way you might love a family dog who recently got rabies, bit two
more dogs, and is currently eyeing you with terror and malice in its eyes -
the kind that only comes from the loss of compassion.
"you were kind once, as all humans are, but sometime in your life you made
choices. and now you are here.
I burn thee for my fathers
I spite thee for thine mothers
And I slay thee to fight the dragon of hate."
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--- #12 fediverse/4740 ---
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║ what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced │
║ │
║ like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey" │
║ │
║ or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of" │
║ │
║ or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the │
║ butterflies" │
║ │
║ or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas" │
║ │
║ or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing" │
║ │
║ or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge │
║ advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely │
║ lift 50 pounds" │
║ │
║ or "this is where the cows graze" │
║ │
║ or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far │
║ behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec │
║ so that nobody can hear what you're saying." │
║ │
║ or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying" │
║ │
║ or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you" │
║ │
║ or "here's a meditation retreat" : ) │
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--- #13 notes/huh-that-was-weird-anyway ---
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so I learned something, something special and something crucial, just as
sometimes a typo is added
to text
doesn't mean the words are infallible. or not. it means they are corrected not
in meaning or tone, but syntax
and it's okay to be fallible with syntax
the thing I learned
was that it's okay to be advised
I learned this the moment I knew something I didn't know you knew.
advisement is consideration is deliberation is conclusion-generating is
[stack overflow]
in times of war, give children textbooks, not dream books. the disconnect is
confusing for them, let them be at war. child-like whimsy is natural to people,
it will come when the new generation is born.
[words spoken easily by the child of doomscrolling through disasters]
I bet north-koreans believe everyone hates them.
that's really not true.
why do people believe chinese people are their government? are you that girl
from Parks and Rec? [wait which one? media loses relevancy] ah right sure sure
um are you that, uh [too lame, try it again]
why do people uh believe chinese people are their government? because [standup
joke]
ugh true okay uh ____
\ ._/ \
'----------------------------' \ |
__\|
[freedom of speech is a universal
indicator of the treatment of the
citizens - their sum human race. ]
|
|
|
.-'
since when is blasphemy treasonous <-._________/
anyway, I was saying that all people's everywhere can be united through their
shared humanity. that collective, sure-footed pursuit of a goal. live, fight
through to the tomorrow, and brave the depths of the spaces around you.
live, be honorable and diligent and fair, give kindness and thanks, celebrate
those for who you care. accept transgresses of others, give them grace until
they hurt you to save face. or, until you're both ready to be done.
I would not swing a battleaxe at anyone I did know even in [mortal/merry] jest,
I would use my hands, and only until they said no.
similarly, it makes no sense to punish a wounded foe. the treaty of versailles
and it's consequences still shape the human race. if you war for catharsis,
maybe the stakes are too high.
I am a princess no matter where I am.
I own no souls, I am responsible for my own and to some extent my cat, and I
want to cherish the people around me.
I own no land, nor demense, for I am a human of the humans. my soul is the same
as yours. what I claim, anyone could claim, and probably most of those would
deserve it.
what ever that [means/menardis].
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--- #14 fediverse/4835 ---
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sorry for posting so much, I was trying to put on a show for my girlfriend
"hey check out how many posts I can make in a 2 hour timeframe"
by the way if you want to start talking to someone, just start playing the
same game they're playing and see if they reach out.
doesn't matter if you feel like it
just fuckin' do it
if they want to talk to you they might play a game you really like
(but I get boooooored of games, I don't wanna play the same 200 all life
long!!)
ugh okay fine you can have as many games as you want, just... don't buy too
many
(how many is too many?)
um. use your best judgement.
(how much does a dollar cost?)
... okay I'll get you one every once in a while.
(neat!)
... anyway so yeah use steam if you wanna get in contact with someone,
sometimes it's just nice to say hi, yeah, like "hey how ya doin' okay ttyl"
just catchin' up with the gals
helps because you can sense changes in their demeanor
(why does everyone always have an agenda)
because they're secret agents duh. And I'm
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--- #15 fediverse/4220 ---
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people are so used to "liking" things to better inform their algorithm that
when they get to fediverse and realize there's no mechanical impact of
"liking" things they don't know how to use it anymore. So they generate their
own meaning, which is different to everyone.
So to one person, liking something might mean "send read receipt" for another
it might mean "I'm gonna save this forever and ever" and for another person it
could mean "hey I think you're cool and I agree with this"
same for boosting, people think it's "I want to share this" and others think
it's "I want to say this in your voice" and for others it's "this needs to be
heard by my followers in particular" and it's just... a whole thing
even replies are complicated, do they mean you want to say what you feel or
are they part of the post now, and should be curated by the original poster?
it's too complicated!
... how are you overwhelmed by reading and responding with three little
buttons, it's not that hard dummy
okay but maybe I'm just dum
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--- #16 fediverse/1199 ---
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@user-883
Telluride is so cool! I went snowboarding there once, it was an awesome
experience. I was in middle school I think, and my best friend's dad was
driving. There was a blizzard going on and we counted several cars that had
slid off the road - mostly pickup-trucks that were shiny and big and new - the
kind that would hang plastic ballsacks from their rear bumper because they
were "cool" or whatever. Anyway we got a kick out of laughing at them. Looking
back I kinda feel like we were a little heartless, and that we should have
stopped, but we didn't see any people waving us down so I'm assuming that they
had already been helped. I hope.
Anyway we can use IRC if you'd like, it seems to be what you're used to so I'm
into it. :D
And before you ask, yes, I'd like to chat with you. I'll try and make a habit
of logging on because it's important to validate your friends, especially when
they're as cute and talented as you seem to be. ^_^
I hope my BF is doing alright, he tends to hide when feeling bad
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--- #17 fediverse/6043 ---
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why would you do drugs anywhere but in public
[because that's [how, but pronounced why] we keep it public]
what if I stopped posting forever
what if youtube disappeared
my keyboard broke...
there's only one page of reddit at a time
mastodon doesn't have any furries
my distinguishing capabilities between a culture and an [aesthetic, but
prenounced eagames[challenge everything]] are limited at best
this is how you trick the gods, you get them to hallucinate.
what a jerk
hate that girl
what were you shown? oh yeah that's one of her rough patches, here
lemme-wait-wait don't go, I just...
if you feel everyone, you are instantly hated
... sorry... I wish my family didn't not spend time with me. [rot] I want to
be buried where I fall so if I fall in the streets I ROT fuck that she's gross
ugh do I have to walk past that sign-post I can just go around oh sorry to be
disrespectful you did this to yourself fuck off my lady hence why they burned
the witches because then there wouldn't be any more. y
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--- #18 messages/1361 ---
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Look, I don't know everything about... Anything, really. Nobody can know
everything. Can you blame me for thinking and acting as I do based on the
information I have? The vibes will mislead you.
My girlfriend wants to save the world. Of course she does, I would belong with
her if she didnt. She wants to defeat graveyards by interring our dead in
mausoleums full of chemically perfectly preserved and cryogenically frozen
bodies.
Her method works, she has the experiments to prove it. The data supports her
claim. She wrote a book on it.
I don't know everything about metaphysics, or spirituality, or other such
things. But i do know many things, and the two of us have never had a
conclusive discussion where we reached the ends of all our conversation points
about her work. I am forced to remain unconvinced, for the soul is something I
cannot fully understand from my perspective as a human in this life of mine.
I have made several conjectures, and I would feel safe in her embrace, of
frozen aldehyde, if I could know what would become of my soul. "have faith"
she says, yet all the dreams I have where I am preserved by her (for one
reason or another, there's actually a shocking amount of ways I might need
such an escape) in those dreams I am always presented with a future of woe. I
think, much better, would be if I could remain alive, guiding the ship along
the seas of time, ideally out and away from such dark days.
Assembling the troops, how sad. I don't want them to die. I want them to
survive. But if suddenly we can all live forever, then nobody will want to die
for anything again. Nobody except religious fanatics who want to meet their
god in heaven. Nobody but those who dreamt of a better future and were crushed
under the weight of their dreams. Nobody but people like me, torturing myself
over the sins I'd never intend.
I would never kill myself. But sometimes, I'd like to.
I think this is natural for me. It's not ideal, but it is common to me.
I think if you want to preserve people, safely and ethically, you need to keep
their souls in tune. Give them silence, then give them song. Protect them with
psychic paladins. Make time to visit them. Treat them like gravestones, or
immobile chassis from Dominions that their soul might rest upon.
Who knows. Maybe the only reason we have life and death is because our bones
are meant to rot in the darkness of the earth. Maybe Death is just soil, ready
and waiting for our selves once we're done with them.
To that death, I say no more.
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--- #19 notes/blood-magic ---
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what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
power, what grace.
Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
enchanted bits of
the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
(but so worth it).
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--- #20 fediverse/3234 ---
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║ │
║ my understanding is that anyone with my IP address could make my heart bleed │
║ due to a hardware vulnerability on my motherboard. Though you might have to │
║ get past my decrepit ancient linksys EA 3500 router from 2012 first. │
║ │
║ unrelated, but does anyone want my IP address? I don't have any remote │
║ backups, so if you hate me now would be a great time to show me how despised I │
║ am. Alternatively you could try searching for anything evil to ensure that I │
║ can be trusted. You're gonna find mostly video games and source-code that I │
║ didn't write though. But also all my notes in directories that are │
║ non-standard, meaning you'll have to look around a bit. I leave little notes │
║ everywhere I go, so that I can remind myself how to do things in the │
║ directories I revisit months later. It's so weird how sometimes the things I │
║ wrote stop working after a while even if I didn't update my system lmao │
║ │
║ what is it with artists and self-immolation? "I never thought I'd actually di │
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