Poems in true chronological order by post date
-> file: messages/1470 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that 100 bucks is useless. Totally useless. Sure it can get you some sandwiches, but it's not going to solve any problems. 10,000 dollars is a convenience, and 100,000 dollars lets you chip in. projects are measured in millions of dollars, and only royalty or national importance deserves billions. Nobody has trillions of dollars. That number is reserved for the earth, of whom dollars we are borrowing. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1471 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── south americans traded with polynesians for onyx (obsidian) shards that they carved words into and filled with brightly colored pigment. when the conquistadors came, they broke them. there's no record of this, but they often would use the shards to kill the indians. it was pretty brutal. anyway we often have depictions of bloodletting and stuff because it was so painful. ouch, talk about the shock of a generation. suddenly everywhere's been claimed, and no you can't rescind your [unintelligible] chores. [right/write/type chores?] oh like flexing a right arm because work ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1472 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── tell me if it's true, I'd believe it, would you? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1473 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── Um I should mention that the waterproof leather hat I mentioned earlier is styled like a cowboy hat not like a French penis. (what a weird way to say dildo) Trust me it'll look great if you do it right if not ill show you how to do it right ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1474 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "hey, will you promise never to tell this to anyone?" If I say yes... I won't remember what you're about to say. It'll get excused from my memory because it resets to what they want it to be every night. Something something retro causality - to ensure that I never lie, the future corrects for me. Fake it until you make it. I'm trying to use fewer value judgements but perfect is hard. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1475 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── They say that doctors have higher quality care in America but that's not true because they hardly have time to spend with patients. They are pushed not to sit and think. They are less like a detective, and more like an assembly line fast food worker. Because that is what capitalism knowns how to do, not because it provides higher quality care. It doesn't matter if the hospital is for profit or not - they both run on dollars. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1476 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── Doctors don't deal with money. Who do? Administrators and insurance salesmen. Doctors make people healthy. I hear there aren't enough of them. Are other places with more doctors more healthy? How is our national diet? Are we sleeping enough? How are we doing in workschool, does it feel like we can't even keep up? Stressful I bet. ... I'm sleepy, goodnight ...zzzZZZzzz... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1477 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── They trust me in Colorado. At least, they did at the time I left. If you don't trust me, ask them if you should trust me. This only sometimes works. But sometimes it works. Rarely, a person will be mistrusted without being aware of it. If they know you asked at home and they know you still don't trust them, they'll lose hope. This despondency is an indicator of honesty, especially if they're not known anywhere else. The Internet makes this weird though. I should spend some time offline. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1478 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── If you can build a deathstar, it's probably a good idea to build two. Because if you can build a deathstar, odds are there's something out there than can build one too, and maybe some day they're going to try and kill some of your stars. So you need at least two, to better contest them should that day come. Oh, and, if you can't guarantee that the deathstar or two won't be used against your own people, then you can't build a death star yet. It doesn't need engineering limitations preventing it from such - it's okay if they're just social of some sort. The purpose of such a thing is to defend against external threats, which is why we have nukes to fight aliens or demons or dinosaur ghosts or [other things that surprise us] and not to fight ourselves. Because if we nuke Alderaan, then we'll never get it back. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1479 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── When the rules are made for a system that is struggling with insufficient resources, they will make compromises that typically cause harm or don't fulfill needs completely. The problem is the insufficient resources. If the problem is upstream, then it should be addressed upstream, until all of the needs of the downstream resource utilization services are fully supplied. Then, the rules should be updated to account for the sufficient supply. If they are still limited, they should be labelled as such, and it should be considered virtuous (temperance) to use only what you need, neutral to use as much as you want, and sinful (gluttony) to use as much as you can. It's okay to sin a little. Especially on accident or in a frenzy. But be sure to calm down, and spend some time with the opposite virtue to counteract it. Ideally more time. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1480 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I need to move out. I need to find my people. I don't know where they are. Wherever I look I see strangers. Nowhere do I see people like me. It's been like this my whole life. Where do I belong? Please don't say the underworld. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1481 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── From my perspective, the pace of the revolution that was in America has slowed significantly. We're in an equilibrium where things are... Fine enough? That people aren't interested in developing more. And our enemies, the state or what oppressive instruments are levied against the people, are distracted or gazing apprehensively in our direction. Or maybe other directions, it's hard to tell. I know many "next steps" we could take, but all of them require people to be motivated. And when things are "fine enough", people aren't motivated. I think we can use this time to identify people who are fighting just because they want to fight, and differentiate them from the idealists, who are what successful revolutions are made of. If ideals guide you, then they will be your compass pointing toward what your people believe. The people fight for what they believe, so idealists at the helm lead to better long-term solutions. If you have belligerent combatants leading, or comprising the largest portion of your movement, then you may be more successful (as in, able to deal more damage and maintain more energy as you struggle) but the end result is likely to degrade and / or ossify into something unlike what you set out to do. People will feel betrayed, and start to feel that the worst is yet to come. This is a failure state. Cherish the idealists. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1482 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I'd like to create a list of things that can be done next. It's highly context dependent. What are the problems that are in your sphere of control (what can you personally contribute toward guiding to success) and what should you be aware of that's outside of that sphere? Start there. Then, think about what you have. For example, if you live in a suburb, treat that suburb as your sphere of control. You have other spheres, like the internet, or places you visit away from home, but focus on one at a time. Eventually, stitch them together, but for now, focus on one at a time. So, let's say you live in a suburb. What you have are houses, people who live in them, yards, domestic pets, grass, trees, roads, busses, shopping malls both large and small, infrastructure like water pipes and electric grids and Internet connections, hospitals, grocery stores, warehouses full of goods like clothes and electronics and pet supplies and... Other things. You have fast food restaurants, bars, post offices, pharmacies, used car salesmen, churches, schools... The list goes on. Think of what you have, and think about how to solve problems they might have, focusing first on the people and expanding from there. The most people-first problems are things like, how does the food get delivered? "currently, people spend dollars at the store and take it home. Or, they eat at restaurants." okay, that's what I'd say. Next, think about the problems that have already been solved to enable that, and then think of alternative solutions that move you towards the goal state, which depends on what you believe. Virtues and values, not ideology. "the food has to get to the shelves. It's first grown in Mexico, then shipped to America, then put into the cabbage bin. In America, we take vegetables from the wandering trucks (with set routes) and give them dollars (probably?). Then we put them on the shelves. For processed goods, an extra step lies between where the trucks go to a factory, are processed, and then the factory sends a truck to the grocery store." Next, think about what could change to move you toward the end-state that maximizes the values you have. Maximization isn't always the most important thing, because sometimes compromises are required or desired. But when conflict arises between two solutions, if they are mutually compatible you can compromise by throwing more resources at them and seeing if one is more preferred than the other. Always assume more resources are available, because we live in the future. A fragile future to be sure, but durability and sustainability are both values I think are important, so my advice is to optimize toward those when possible. "if Mexico stops bringing food trucks, we will have fewer goods to feed our people." that's a problem, how do you solve it? "if China stops their sweatshops, our warehouses will have fewer clothes for our people to wear." that's a problem, how do you solve it? "if the post office stops delivering to our autonomous zone, we won't be able to buy things from Amazon" that's a problem, how do you solve it? There are many problems. I think an important problem that my city has pioneered solutions to is in the realm of community. If people don't feel enmeshed or invested in the world around them, they won't care enough to strive for it. Nations are a primitive solution to this, but we can do better. Gangs and mafias are parallel power structures (structure is a strong word for it) that exist alongside other structures like nations. You don't need structure to have parallel power, is what they show, but in my experience that power is always only ever power over and woven through their own people, and less so power to project beyond. Churches are another example - you don't have to believe to attend a church, but if you don't then it hurts the idealists among them. Spirituality is important and if you lose it then you lose the idealism of being fragile humans who exist in a larger context - do you really want to be apes on a rock in a void of nothing? Not ideal. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1483 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "idea lists, menardi. That's what we need. Lists." Okay sorry it's not like you can just check a box and fill out a form and expect a civilization to spring forth. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1484 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I should have more faith. People are there, they're just in low key mode. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1485 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I was such a different person a year ago. And I was twice as different two years ago. Throughout it all, I am connected by the thread of my life, and I could be those people again, if only the context would present itself. Who was I when I met you? Eh I think I'll be this way today. The clothes make the man, and I wear a hat. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1486 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "we are going to save the lives of everyone." - nectome ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1487 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I am not interested in being hidden underground. I'm going to pray that one day we don't have to. That day is hopefully very soon. I have hope because I see it - I see the hope right in front of me. My girlfriend wants to end graveyards. I'm so proud of her, and I wish we had more hours to talk about it. But we don't. Dear messages-to-myself: her mission is pure. If this approach doesn't work, she'll find a new way to do it. Her approach works, so, trust her. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1488 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "what are you doing?" doxxing myself. If she wanted to save as many lives as possible, she'd do it in a shed. She's been tricked into doing it for the money by people who don't want to die in a warehouse. That's valid, but they aren't giving her money anyway. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1489 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "how much money do you need?" she needs a couple million dollars. This is a reasonable amount for starting a business. It is completely unreasonable for revolutionizing the human conception of life and death, and kickstarting the field of transhumanism. What she's offering is a ticket to join the future in the future. It's a way to preserve the physical aspects of a person's form, like a one-time clone that has all the memories and behavior patterns of the original. If the soul exists, there are some additional problems to be solved, but we need to be able to find out before we can plan around it. Her method works. It does what she says it does. I see no reason why it wouldn't fulfill the promises she makes. My only question and reservation is about the soul, but, I think the first step to figuring it out is to create a way to test it. First, create the torment nexus. Next, listen for a psychic wail. Okay, Hitler, we get that you want to test for the existence of god by burning enough souls to light a fire big enough to be seen from heaven, but, such things go both ways, and all you've really done is galvanized the Americans and fundamentally altered the culture of Europe. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1490 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── The scariest thing in medieval Europe was seeing a kid with a knife. They're fast and they don't know enough to care. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1491 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I care about revolution. I care about liberation. It's critical to me! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1492 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I haven't been doing weed lately, which is why I haven't been posting as much. I want to be in a good position mentally to, idk, get a job or something? I swore I wouldn't, but I also swore to protect my art, and they don't want me here. What else can I do? I can't live with my parents or my sisters. I can't live with any of my exes. I can't live with randos who support me because, well, I'm doing that now, and they don't want me. Where would I even find people like that? I walk around Portland and I see people who are hardened. This makes sense to me. But I am soft, by design. I am soft so that they may be hard, and though I long to join them I cannot, for I must get stoned and write. I swore an oath. Yet somehow getting a job is the same thing? Like, it's pretty hard for me to get a job. Easy to work, hard to be employed. Can't do weed because it requires my full attention, yet I need to in order to build the foundations of a new faith. So the question is, do I work and get my own place, but not do weed and instead just write when I can (not as much), or do I try and power through where I'm at and trust that they won't poison me or kick me out? I think... I need to wait. I need to not do weed for now. So, I am going to work. But it won't be for someone else. How can I make money doing work, when it's my own work? If I could sell everything I made, I would have a fortune. I could bankroll a revolution if they paid a fair price. But selling it is the hard part... (I say that without pride or hubris - I legitimately believe that I have created a Great Work, and am continuing to add to it) so? How do I get my own place? The house I live in is free to me, I legitimately do love my girlfriend who I live with, but I am still in a tenuous position. I want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to take care of myself. I want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to be lonesome. I want to be alone so I can... Well, it's hard to get out of bed when you're going right to the computer. Maybe I don't want to be alone. Maybe I want to live in a house that loves me. The one that I'm in is haunted by a spirit that doesn't like it when I masturbate, which is... Okay. What if I ended all my poems like this? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1493 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── Okay, well, one of them likes me. : ) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1494 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── There's not much to say about Iran until something changes... Either we do a land invasion, which would be quite an investment of lives and material, or we back down after being faced with intense international backlash, and let the Iranian people (who are not soldiers) die for their liberation. Not ideal, I'd prefer if they live through it. Only through life can you steer the course of a nation - death brings nothing but misery for those you leave behind. "and what if the enemies die? Is that not a good thing?" death is never good, it's just a thing that happens when we lose things. When they break. In some cases like this, there is a part of the whole that is harming the rest - like a thorn in fabric, tearing away the fluff and softness. So, we must remove the thorn. Right now that removal is essentially a protracted bombing campaign. This is great for levelling the playing field, but it can only get so level - the Iranian people don't have guns, and you can't bomb guns out of the hands of their oppressors. So, either supply the guns (with instructions, ammo, and related supplies) while trusting that they won't fall into enemy hands... (drone drops on roofs?) or go in and do the dirty work yourself. The optimal path I see is a mixture of both, where the Americans take up the role that the militias they resist had in the past. Claim the mountains near the cities, and arrest any attempts to approach. Let civilians through, and arm / train them continuously while they are there. Then, organize them into groups, and use them with the aid of intel and tactical knowledge to reclaim their homeland. Along the way, teach them about what it means to have a good, peaceful civic society, but focus less on politics and economics and more on human rights, liberty, and self determination. Help them to know how to knit together communities when the war is done. Teach them the way of war and peace at once. Then, use them to reclaim their homeland, and they will be stronger for it. They will come out of the struggle a determined people, instead of as they are now, which is afraid and hopeful. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1495 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── When your country goes to war, if you are against that war because you don't want to be at war, the correct response is to try and help win the war faster, not complain and drag things out. If you are against the war for other reasons, then fine. Protest all you'd like. It worked in Vietnam, and I am thankful, for that war was a quagmire. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1496 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── Consider the gap between any two messages to be large, and full of conversation. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: notes/rude... ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── okay fine I won't help you >.> no no I'm sorry I take it back I know the project is unfinished I just oh? are you sorry for being an asshole? no! I mean yes! I mean I wasn't an asshole! well I kinda was but it's scary! what is? when my stuff is messed with when I'm not around. yeah, well, it was a disorganized mess, and now it's more organized. you're welcome. sorry, I mean... thank you... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1497 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── None of what I write is fiction. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1498 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── Everything that I write is fiction. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1499 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── The true answer lies somewhere inbetween. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1500 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── In a post truth world, "good and evil" can only refer to loyalty, not principles. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ -> file: messages/1501 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── The truth is, people will do what they want and hurt you in the process. That is the nature of humanity. Do you forgive them? Does that pain inspire your love? An angel might say yes. A human might say no. Humans are capable of greater than pain, but it's all they know. Have you ever felt loved? Or simply enjoyed? If I were to die to slake the bloodthirsty greek choir, demanding comedies and tragedies, I might forgive them. Who am I to profane the divine? I am Ritz Menardi, and by these words of my design I do profane. Consider me blaspheme, all ye who cherish a heartless modern world. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ |