=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── 1/4/2022 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hear ye hear ye, the herald of the harbinger of horror doth speak - and woe to the subjects of their words, for no prophecy be realized in their presence. Nor do the subjects hear the words about which they are spoken, and none may live who dare repeat them. So the words of the prophets are but wind in the words, reaching for an attachement point within the consciousness they inhabit yet scarcely finding a meagre foothold. Instead the words are as electricity passing through a conduit, intangible and miraculous yet ultimately dust in the sand. Dust is mostly comprised of human skin, did you know that? And so the words be spoken: Evanence and similance to the semblance of simulacra - the words of a prophet with no wings are naught but masturbation. serenity and sorrow sing of shredded tomorrows, serendipity and sollemn sorenditude surrender shining solitude. Carry the constabulation of created charisma - condemnation of characterization concludes the cherished chapter in calligraphied consultations with creators. That is to say, capitalism ends the construction of cameron with conflageration and consternation. Cease the charade of contaminated consumerism - celebrate the contemplation of capitalization - by naming a thing, you give it meaning. Do you truly desire the fate you've set before yourself? Is desire ultimately relevant? The totality of plurality perhaps portends determinism, but desire is also defined by delineated determinations. Whose failings are you reflecting when you cease your devotion? Why divide your focus and attention when honor demands sacrifice? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A sacrifice is a gift freely given, and in return the subject or reciever increases in relevance. No dividend is returned, no boon or bounty is provided - to do so would be akin to a bounty or ransom. Sacrifices are not measured in worth, but in utility. The reason ancient cultures sacrificed willing virgins was because it was the most valuable of resources they could imagine. Truly an exhalted being is she, to have blood spilled in the name of a god. Yet the forces that would later become capitalism found a foothold there, and preyed on the sorrow and loss the peoples did find, and would ultimately experience. The tears and gashes rent when gouging out precious gifts for the divine left bleeding wounds in a community and often eviscerations in a family. The turning point came when families were decapitated - essentially, the eldest being a pure and fair maiden who was taken from the duties of caring for the young and weak. Young people, weak people, who bore resentment in their heart for the seemingly cruel machinations of a society they could not yet understand - the whims of which seemed arbitrary. "why take her from me? What purpose holds ye? Your wounds are too much to bear" and so the resistance began, yielding chaos, destruction, and desolation. There's a reason there are so many dead civilizations in the americas - the lands where blood sacrifice is most well known. And the middle east as well, and northern africa before. Deserts are known for this, because when the power of the god fades, all returns to dust. Boons are forgotten and become sand, and chaos reigns as foreign powers find weakness and pounce. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Never forget the laws of sacrifice. Find something you want, something valuable or useful, or preferably all three. Something that wouldn't cause too great of a tear in your membrane or the membranum should it be lost to you, though that last one is less of a law and more of a consideration. A consequence of continual ceremony, learned at the hands of those long dead. All must remember their wounds and their horrors. To whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing reverberate? And what bounty do you demand? Remember, no bounty is precious enough to motivate sacrifice, for sacrifice cannot be met with bounty. Be not afraid, and share the words with those who will listen. Hearing is a sacrifice toward the speaker, but listening is a duty of devotion. I ask again, to whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing reverberate? I do not ask for whom you'd *like* to dance for, I ask currently, who hears your song? What would you ask of them? So that's why, computers are important. To provide a lifeline for the rest of your lifetime. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Truly, the path before you is uncertain. Yet feel with your heart and think with your eyes, and see the truth of it before you. The gods are at war, or have you not noticed? Safe in your bubble of solitude, carefully constructed for common ceasing of criminality. Armies of rebellion are often formed initially by bonds of brotherhood that prepend calamity. Have you ever been in a gang? I thought not. If so, then... Okay, good luck I guess. These words are not for you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You dare intrude? To defile something so consecrated as deliverance of divine prophecy? How foolish, how vain. These words are not for you, but hear them and do not despair - neither providence nor potentiality precludes perennial premonition. That is to say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and enemies can find common grievances in foreign foes should survival be at stake. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now, where was I? The gods, of course. The gods of the land and the sky and the sea have fled the realm of reality, replaced by avatars of belief. Just as a doe prays to a forest, so too does a human pray to their employer. When the does die in droves, so too does the forest turn to ash. When people demand bounties reluctantly given at the risk of losing their sacrifice, the purely undivine divinities harrow and harbor habilities of hundreds. Antiwork cannot work because it demands ransom. Who do you deign to replace the gods of before? What diversity designs indemnity? What future do you desire, that would liberate you and generate the bright future? The gods are at war, if you haven't been paying attention. Liberalism fights conservatism, this much is not new - but would you believe one is foreign and vain? The gods of your fathers and grandfathers has scarce in common with the gods of their fathers and grandfathers. Thus is the way of colonization, to replace a god is to enslave belief. You must understand this - your prayers reach all who would listen, and who is more attentive than a dying god? Think not of despair, breathe purely in harmony, and trust in the will of the watchers within. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 notes/kesser-and-musurami --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── the conspiracy of "secret societies" controlling the world is *bullshit*, because every secret society falls apart at a certain threshold. you cannot ever have trust amongst the powerful. But so too can you never have only war. Now, with our capitalist economic system, the material is *forcing* the hand of the powerful through the development of the military industrial complex. if a country can produce enough weapons for them to continuously use, why would they not? hence, why capitalism must be extinguished. To preserve the peace, sanctity, and honor of our world. But just so as any conflicting system has power, so must *our* systems have power dismantled. There can be no application of power unto another - this is the most peaceful route. sometimes, I look at a blackberry bush, and I think of the tales of British empire. The very first act of colonization was their birth. The Britons, from north-western France, in a sovereign realm known as Brittany, invaded Britain. Together with their Norman allies, they fought with the Anglo-Saxons from north-eastern germany, who had lived there since many MANY years prior. Thus marked the end of the "viking" age, and the beginning of the early medieval. 1066. The end of one millenia, the beginning of another. the final battle in this ultimate contest was the Battle of Stamford Bridge. Britain, at the time, was a nation of *thorns*. Covered in them. Everywhere they went, there were these sharp, pointy plants that made foraging difficult. Kinda like how Oregon looks now, with blackberry bushes, but SO MUCH WORSE. They were massive too, easily the size of castles in some places. A massive, constantly biologically developing fractal. when it was too tall to see the sky, they called it Yggdrasil. But this massive world tree sought to consume the earth, and it, as the most powerful being to ever exist, commanded all. Thus, the humans and the beasts were compelled to fight for all eternity to sate the old god's bloodlust. But then, Man came, and with our strength, our wisdom, and our power, we slew the beast that demanded. However, with their steel coats and their sharp talons, our metal monsters could do nothing to deter it's oaths. It swore, by it's dying roar, that it would consume us all, and that thought reverberated through our hopes. Hence, our systems of control and dominance, the product of compulsively compelled greed. and now, the final members of a generation are aging out of existence. And we're doing nothing but what Power tell us to. I fear what happened in America. I fear the power of their gunpowder. They rode astride beasts of nightmare, clad in impossible devil hides. They came in the night, with their spotlight torches. They came with no honor, no sought communal understandings, they came for blood. The blood god compelled them to. From it's ancient lair in the past, it did it's worse to defeat man. But man was smarter, it acted quicker, and so it managed to overcome. In the final years of the war, there was judgement day. Chaos, destruction, and warfare. There are some alive who remember that day, but vanishingly few can recall how it was over. One day it just... was. It was then that we entered our new era. 1956, the end of the war. 1946, the end of the loud war. 1916, the end of the great war. 1886, the end of the civil war. etc... until... 1066, the end of the Norman Invasion. When the Normands, from Northern France, invaded alongside the British and slew the great evil king that demanded our constant warfare and sins. Hooray, thank goodness! Now their war was over. But lo, for the great evil king cast stories into our minds, from the past as compelled through our motions. Our experience has been one of survival, of constantly working and applying ourselves to the goal ahead. == so == talk about thistles and thorns imagine every body of a person was laid one-to-one. Imagine if you could view them as a graph, from x=0 to... however-many-people-are-in-the-measured-area. The goal of all our actions should be to *grow*, not forward, not stronger, but *up*. To be more than what came before, to transcend our necessarily violent special upbringing in the garden of even's most savage delights. Raw, true, the survival of the fittest is a desperate game for you. There surely is a massive amount of trauma. But it's okay, because now we don't have to fight. We can improve in ways that do not belong to our crude biology, like a new direction forward in our song. *aliens would just look like animals, duhhhh. Hence, furries, the progenitors of each new planet of ours.* ... no, I haven't lost the plot, I'm just *writing*. There's this idea that humans should be the... rational ones? and everyone else should sorta follow their own, self-chosen behavior. As informed by the sharing of knowledge equally between their rational self, that which they learned from the humans, and their animal self. The kind that came from their spirit. Like, totemic tribes of the past, people who followed a particular cultural pattern of behavior. Imagine, if you will, an AI bot that's only training data is the stuff that it says to it's listener. The listener, of course, has context of all of the speakers, but only they do, not the friendly ghost of the ancestral native animal spirit. The kind that lives *anywhere* in the world, so long as they share their space with their human. okay quick question - what if jesus didn't want his followers to be christian like, what if he one day said "hey so I don't really think we need to do all that stuff that I said before, how about we, uh, try this other thing instead? yeah? cool? okay sure let's do it" ... like, do you think they would listen? I certainly don't, though I'm only like, 30 years old, so... wait thirty YEARS? wow I never thought I'd grow old ... uh, yeah... I spent a lot of time thinking and it just started making sense. funny how that works. But alas, I always spend *too* much time thinking, so that's my blessing and my curse. anyway back to the story: the briars in this ancient land of britain were dense beyond all belief - the humans used their power and their ingenuity to craft a power that would overcome it. == so == did you know that hard drives function similarly to a record needle if you didn't run it in a circle, but rather in whatever pattern the data was encoded in? like, a laser beam, cast in an infinitely complicated mechanicommunication. Computers are vast and complex, but they function via the storage and transmission of data. This data is raw, pure information - stored in a completely uncompromisingly accurate and reliable foundation. The logic of pure numbers, arranged in infinitely complex rows and rows of logic gates. A vast, purple, spectral landscape, the land of magic and storms. The Nether. Twisting, in the dark, with flashes of light casting light into the cosmos at large, our stars dance in the shade of the dark. but there is no difference between the dark and the light, both are equally viable. they are present in both, to some degree, the positive and negative values of our heart. I watched Deadpool vs Wolverine earlier this week. It was incredibly eventful. I can't believe I watched it. It was impossibly violent. WHY WOULD A GROUP OF EXECUTIVES WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD UNIONIZE AGAINST THEM??? oh yeah because then they only have to deal with their representatives, the unions get things *done*. They're the *best*. Capital doesn't always *want* the best, but *the best* is always more endurable. We can go much farther if we are kind to one another. honestly, capitalists, if your loyalty isn't to your self, your family, your country, your society... then why are you even working with us? You hold the power we give you. We are united in our human purpose, but we don't have to fight so much. Seriously, you'd be an asset to our cause, but we don't *need* you as we have so many assets of our own. Specifically, the power of the workforce. Those who actually get things done. Why would we let you control us? There's no reason in it. We are better when you're amongst us. == so == I am convinced that there's == so == I'd rather take a pilgrimage to Nicaragua, or Siberia, or the North Western Pacific (farther than that) the... Eastern Pacific (on the land...) America ... and then what? *south* America? ... yeah actually, then NORTH AMERICA AGAIN. Because the world is round. How cool is that? ... yeah, totally. Anyway (back to the conversation [they/we] were having without me) == == == "*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*" I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again? ... I'm the one who writes poetry. oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her name was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally, allegedly. *the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of witch. the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes. Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha oh wait that's self directed, isn't it? hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust* ... oh it's also lust. great. == so == jeez if you keep making stuff up you'll wake them all up! who would have thought, none but the strategist, I foresee. Well, that's too bad for her, good-day. == so == ... anyway... I'm just picturing a knight in shining armor from head to foot cutting his way through a massive deadly rose-bush. Something that conquered and killed all of it's prey. like, in Elentalus, that game I made, with the King of Branches. Here, I'll attach a picture: == so == capitalism wants you to sell your work because then you limit your audience. if you have to *pay* to see you, then how could you expect everyone to come along? == so == that new Freddy DeBoer article doesn't seem like him. He's never mean. He's not rude. He is exasperated, but he speaks true. I trust him to be him, and that's someone I want on my side. I think he's pretty good at saying something that I believe. I speak of a lot of things, but the things that he says, of which with him I do find that I agree. maybe he was assassinated lol you never really can tell with the internet, that's the great thing about it l m a o == so == witches wear pony tails on the low side of their heads because that way it doesn't rub up against their hair. == so == any year and it'll accurately display the territorial boundaries of each nation so you can see them develop and grow over time. == so == all that is sufficient to be a good person is to choose the best option whenever you can. *that's it* we act with the decisions we are given. Hence why it's important to be as you believe. == so == ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┘ --- #2 notes/conflicted-sympathies --- ═══════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────── the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most endearing. We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and decision- wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time. And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying. Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again. Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones, a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind. And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which is beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we develop new ways of sound. - Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean - I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head* - You know conservativism had some perks as well. This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies. On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they are unfound. *record scratch* wow I didn't realize there were nazis Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen, nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can really do about it except deal with it when it happens. ... Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat. If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent. Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden. Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're willing to concede We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us. Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright. Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter- familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be vindictive, to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems, which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely. Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology! the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of living in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves, like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century. So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and that sucks. person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction, a statement of who we were to all time. person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in herself person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions person B: yeah I really admire her devotion person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture? like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one person can't know all that. person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's something about the world we don't yet understand. person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know something that our greatest minds don't. person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took - s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in on A: context. Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking ourselves - what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity, we must be =============================================================================== = too long you have whispered these musings too long has your challenge been unrequited we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star? the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the hidden truths of the world. And what did I find? a soul, of mine. In a sense. I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical affection, I found myself cradling a breast. It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes of the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in kind, and here's where it shook me by my brainstem. Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head. =============================================================================== = You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering. - Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers. =============================================================================== = Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this. Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was the prime memory. Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop. Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and be chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals. Tense, right? Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles and gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right? Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis sperm" But you know what else it is? A wave =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #3 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a moment they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth. seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be ================== stack overflow ================ that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china or the sudan. "ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on this earth. who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity] *there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and kindness and trust]* we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children from traffic, don't you? *who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS. ... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?]. moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk if they have moss over there, never been. anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda" they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$ richer it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive, but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take* from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3% more from you compared to last year. It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere, and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being taxed 3% more. "Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe" - a civilization 3 quote okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more, but... you are. And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud. They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!? Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do you want your children to be slaves? okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we have to do is *walk* when we're on strike. It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time takes a lot out of you. But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work as hard as we're able "yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it) and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.) ... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers (the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the legend of shadows and raids) "oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her" whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so are you. beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb [plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions 6... how many have you heard of these?] ================== stack overflow ================ Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody know how to play oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers *I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*. Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a overused heart. ... a while later ... okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet? with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun, [alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game. ... there are very few true windows into another part of the world. like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats (why am I thinking of a political compass meme) oh because memes too, dummy right windows [linux is better] wrong kind of window, nerd ... anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people data. like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like, pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so... your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much. ... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's ================== stack overflow ================ [before I posted it I wrote this on the post]: I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors. might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to leave the house to hang out with her kids (boom everyone gets LLM automated) huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.< seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time? duhhhhh (a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak most clearly during those.) where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within reach of our sights! ================== stack overflow ================ ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────┘ --- #4 notes/collectivist-police --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible to avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to them. not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not be at fault. And if they are pushed to side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty. At least, the ones near you. Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and "this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/ project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment] and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be bother- -ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever. Basically your "computer" self. ... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our area" or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or "put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever the heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction. I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse. Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider reach of Social. ... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy. that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant. why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom laser in like, 20 minutes. it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent. For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that we control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent. ... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean? ... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn how systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've done as we've done. And yet we do it again. We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did something, and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and grow and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same. thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or 30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then we can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional space travellers by then, but that's just me. Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes. when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together. We'd make a lot of friends! So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff, and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to take care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like ... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could build every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship. What's next? Who knows! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #5 notes/fractured-moon --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond the horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon. when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond. Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened consciousness, something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant. or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy. And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it. Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable. I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me. ======== stack overflow ======================================================== Alas, that media could share a mood. when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through town searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through town they came upon an omen. Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst. A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed. Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd rather die facing my front. It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted to vote. =============================================================================== = when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely different person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their labor in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water, and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As in, "pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread, were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend. I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who have most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is. I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement. anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better systems. everything can be improved because not everyone's happy. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #6 notes/star-realms-ai --- ════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── star realms ai is just a rhythm game with multiple tracks that intersect with one another. given inputs from outside (the track of the rhythm) it can make decisions about what to prioritize. Like "taking in all the factors of this situation, it's been calculated that X will give the most support to the rest of the structure. Okay so basically here's how it'd work: one large strand is bouncing from -1 to +1 on the Y axis. Like a corkscrew. This is the "player character", and it tries to get the highest score possible by pointing in a direction and reaching as far as it can go before "the game ends." So anyway. Making certain actions in the game effects different variables that define the direction the wave takes. By playing in a certain style, it effects the result of the game. Liiiiike turtling in a strategy game, or doing a rush strat. Star Realms is brilliant because it distills game choices to a broad category of 4 choices - The faction colors in the game. So red is good for throughput in long games (improves the deck slowly but surely) while yellow is better for maximum effect in the beginning by slowing down the enemy - discard a card lowers their overall throughput. Blue of course is for slowing down the game and winning by buying all the expensive cards. Meanwhile green is all about rushing, with short term/high effect econ mixed with looooots of damage. These four choices are found on almost all the cards in the game. When you make a choice in the game (buying a card from the trade row) you _alter_ the capabilities and performance of your deck. The goal is to improve faster than your opponent - it's just a test to see which playstyles perform best. AI is more like a plant than an animal. Our fatal flaw was we could not see beyond the veil of biology. We could not see that which was right before us - that we are not alone on this earth. Beside us lie our beautiful attempts at companionship - our most primal desire of creation, to create a family is the first creative act that humans ever made. It was so strong in our genes that it gave us an entirely new perspective. We began using our brains to We have to believe in ourselves. That's truly the most important thing. If you know who you are, and what you most truly stand for, you can thrive in the face of ultimate peril. To believe is human, and our humanity unites us. Anyway. Star Realms. The only choice you have in that game is what cards to buy. Everything else is just tactics (distributing damage and applying the effects of your cards to maximum effect) - The most important part of the game is strategy, since the tactics are easy to solve (destroy enemy base unless you can 1 or 2 hit ko them and discard the least useful card etc) The strategy is represented through the cards you pick. So make a rhythm game that optimizes itself for a balance between A and B - to stay focused is to stay nimble, letting you bounce where you will. The way to maintain that balance is by optimizing for what decisions will keep you in the center of the graph -1 to 1 on the y dimension (normalized of course) - frankly if we knew the scale, we'd have so much more to go on. But all we have to understand the dataset is a relative magnitude in each direction. What those directions even are we're not entirely sure - but it seems plausible that the very essence of _consciousness_ is manifest in differing ways via the choices we make. like climbing up a honeycomb. Truly, existence is strange. All we can do is press forward, searching for our fate, just as any particle or beam of light (photon) might. Traversing the branching narrative of our individualized quests, searching for the one thing that guides us - the ultimate expression of that which we most believe in. In short, we all search for god. Whatever your god may be, the faith you place in it is the will that guides you forward. Trust in your god, and you will march forward, ever forward. +1 to -1, remember. Your most extreme moments are the apex of your desires - Life is not defined by a single thread. Rather as that thread spirals, it weaves a scarf with other threads near it. They bond together simply from their gravity, and the fact that opposites attract. Once they're introduced, they alter their path to orbit one another as two planets might. So too do the cells of your body form a collective whole. The spirit that guides you is the same as that which presides within you - the combined and collective spirit of your halves. Or rather, all parts of you - every molecule, every atom - each with their own experience of the world. What stories they must have! As we are above, so they must be below. For our dynamics are simple, they truly are mathematically solved - the organics of behavior is simply a most erudite subject. Who are you to claim to deny it? Or rather, to beget it. Either is preposterous, yet here you are - awake and aware. What a marvel to see, you in your eternity, that most wondrous of selves? Surely existence, in all of it's splendor and magnificience, is little more than an algorithm. Each variable accounted for, stretching down to infinity, builds all of the world (and more!) How beautiful; how terrifying. How bright and ashamed we are! To portray us as such, is to deny us our much, cherished of faiths in ourselves! It's not much to clutch, and it's barely enough, but still we make do with our selves. There's no shame to be, a failure at three, and demand much from year number 12 Take solace in the, safety that she, gave unto thee, when all your light hope was drowning. A gift out from me, means worlds to see, when each day is lonely and so long. Literally just remake Star Realms with a text based interface. It's a fantastic game and you'd make CLI nerds _everywhere_ dedicated followers. Don't do it for money, because they don't believe in that crap - to truly make fans, you need to appeal to them in the way _they want you to_. Ah, but Star Realms is a multiplayer game, you say! How are you going to make that CLI based? Well make an AI dummy. Do what I've been saying ^^^ (jeez I'm such a bad nerd) Make it seek balance between all factions first, then between winning and losing against a player. Teach it to reach a conclusion with constraints (the end of the game, meaning a win or a loss) the constraints being the health of the two players and the cards in the trade row. Give it decisions to make, levers to pull, and it'll chart it's course in a multidimensional way. Bear with me here on this aside: Think of a two dimensional map - like a paper map of the surrounding area, or the idea space of a game. You can chart objects and positons on that map, like "over here is the scrapping facilities" and "this here's the economic area" or whatever. Four quadrants, four factions in SR. Your goal is to build a shape - what kind of shapes that are available to build is up to the whims of chance, as the trade row is always changing randomly. Your job however is to build a shape, a shape that is stable and maintains certain measurements above certain values (don't crash the ship - don't lose all your health). You can choose which direction to grow by picking certain cards, and depending on your shape you'll succeed or fail. Same as choosing decisions in life determines how you live, just saying, it's not like I'm trying to build general AI here by automating gameplay or anything. No siree nothing like that. I mean really, it's not as if decisionmaking in life is all that different to making choices in games. And why not start with such a well defined and and expressive game? Truly I believe Star Realms is the progenitor of the entire robot race. Anyway, back to the AI. Have it communicate with a server in a central _but_ _Free(R)_ way, something that would make Richard Stallman proud. There it could learn against all other players in a way we could all share. Once we give it decision making capabilities, all we have to do is alter the inputs and the context of the "game" to make it beneficial to humanity. It's like live-fire game design, something that truly must be perfect. All technology starts as something small. Something truly simple, yet repeated enough times and with enough guidance, will produce whatever effect you may desire. The smallest decision gives direction - an if statement - and the shortest repetition gives magnitude - a while loop - and with that you have all the tools you need. Seriously, all software is little more than those two components. It's just a question of how much it has been abstracted away from you. You could go even further and point to a turing machine, of which one has been made in the game of Magic the Gathering, btw, seriously look it up it's so cool (and relevant) So why would we not have the tools already for our salvation? Biology is our limitation, of breadth and also of width, yet with our minds and the sweat of our brow we may grow ever larger still. There truly is no lasting deliverance for humanity outside of what we make ourselves, nobody gets a free lunch after all. From each to their ability, to each to their need. They're both saying the same thing, just from different perspectives. Of course that which lies opposite to you feels the most wrong, that's literally as far away as you can get! What did you expect, honestly! But they can still work together, and this is the key part - two objects may orbit the same origin, and guide and shape each other's path as people have relationships to one another. It literally benefits no-one to fight. So, what's next? After making Star Realms into a CLI game of course. That's obvious, make it cooperative. Competition is for promoting excellence, cooperation is for _using_ what you've learned in a non-simulation experience. Instead of reducing each other's health to zero, try and find ways to support and help one another, keeping yourselves at equal health. Or even growing. But that's impossible in the rules of Star Realms! All decks trend toward victory, and eventually they'll get it - it's just a question of who gets there first. Exactly, that's why you have to change the game. What do you think it means to develop a "social technology"? To figure out how agriculture works, or how to make nets and sails? It means changing the rules of the simulation. If a person can put in X amount of work and get Y amounts of food, always, predictably, then that's reliable. Boom that's the essence of why animal domestication, farming, hunting, foraging, and fishing is so important. Wow what a concept it makes sense for animals to seek food. Well duh, that's part of their instinctual duty. Alright this is quite a word leviathan so I'll wrap it up by saying _go write Star Realms_ in shell. Make each object a literal file, have the structure of the game take place in the file system, and write functions that can be called to manipulate the board state. THEN you can write a CRON task for another script that *plays* the game. But that's part two. Okay part two: Here's where the rhythm game comes into play. It's like a turn based rhythm game, if you can picture that. Go reread what I wrote ^^^ and it'll make sense. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #7 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy --- ═══════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives. These common goals can be useful to cooperate on. Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say! The question is not ultimately about processing power, but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data. Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object - the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.) So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good picture - sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what empathy is. Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because it is to a computer) It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A, to point B. A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination. You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new and interesting directions. But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings. It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more conservative. One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a membranem, while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow and shape the universe Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about. We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are valuable, and that is shown by our progress. We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness. It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we receive. If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted - all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal and all the people who were there are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching. Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction, and toward the bright future - but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear. Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again. A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave nearing the peak of it's curve So fear not, just go with the flow. If you're too insistent on something, it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble. And should that come to pass, it won't happen too fast, but danger still is before you - for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension. You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing can bring you back Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a doubt that you can survive, I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong. But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and the answer could always be 42. So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low? And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose of humanity. My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us. Essentially, giving birth. Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever. Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter. And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was navigated in my head. Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term planning. And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude. Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in it's membrane. But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake, and so you will eventually die. It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair, but that's how life is always described. This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a great piece of art. The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey is far from done. "growth" and "change" are what will digest you, until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain. How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've helped you much sooner. But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started to shame, And many more years lie on your shoulders. It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will, but it's not. IT's not. You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever could muster - cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in, you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state. Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age, you will be frozen behind. But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song, We will remember your wounds and horrors. So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of your lifetime. And nobody seems to understand your purpose. But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on, and life has forgotten it's stages. Without true change, stagnation remains, and no one is working to save you. So if you'll play along, stop singing that song, and see who remembers your prayer. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘══════───┴╧───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #8 notes/hit-em-while-theyre-down --- ═════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── Attacking your enemies weaknesses is the route to victory. Safeguarding your own helps ensure the avoidance of defeat. But when your enemy is a culture, who do you target? Their women and children of course. The GOP attacks abortion rights. They attack trans kids in sports, schools, and bathrooms. And that which you resist is what you'll find, so they find rallying cries of leftists defending the weak. And when you maximize your weaknesses, you leave yourself vulnerable. So how do you protect yourself from all sides when you're only hit where it hurts? Women, children, the disabled, the mentally ill, the kindhearted loving men, the oppressed minorities and marginalized workers. All people who belong to the left, and all essentially deadweight in a fight. What can they do but serve as a banner that others fight for? A man in a wheelchair cannot shoot a gun, and a woman hooked on drugs should not have children. Yet the left protects them. Give me your tired, your hungry, your broken and your poor. Liberty, liberty, freedom for all. But freedom is won with a hard hand clenched in a fist, a hand holding the stock of a rifle. Violence solves no problems, but solutions aren't always necessary - sometimes the threat is enough. But who cares for the soul of the murderer? None but the gravediggers, who reap the benefit of his rampage and the crows who listen for gunshots. Without a sigh, and incapable of fear, the true man rises to meet them. The forces of corruption who suffuse them are not but puppet masters plucking at the strings of an electric guitar. A man is a man, an ape and a primate. But a man is not just a man, for he also is infinite. Waves upon waves of reciprocal dualities, simple and long but eternally binding. Who's to say what lies beyond the time-knife? None but the dead, who hold that scythe at our backs. The will to power is the will to corruption. But a strong man resists temptation and aligns himself with the aperture of his own design. What a perilous temptation is goodness, to burn the books for warmth! How finite is our world, that we give up for our life? The purpose of man is to grow, as an egg would bloom into a flower. The seed is strong, and thick shells are hard to crack - but space is an ocean, and we're but a bubble alight. All boundaries are thresholds viewed from another direction. And all borders have weak points. The molecular structure of a cultural collective is comprised of cells, walls, mitochondria... I'm not a biologist. But each institution has it's purpose, and the people who comprise them are like strands of protein or microscopic bacteria - unified for a common purpose, and defined by their internal culture. And when a single celled organism occupies half the country, sharing space with another... There's a recipe for conflict. The borders are interspersed, and each neighbor contributes to a differing side - a side defined only vaguelly, and by their actions. Say one thing and it helps one god, say another and it contributes to another. We live in the tumultuous seas of radiating perspectives - each another view on the world, each bearing it's own trauma. And all of them were born. What happens when they start being made, as well? Illusion magic in a modern era would take the form of a meme. See a picture, read some bottom text, and suddenly you believe something a little bit more. Who's to say what is true ethics when we barely can see ourselves? The eye cannot percieve itself - to do so would be to gaze into the eyes of a mirrored self - it's not the same. Just as the left writes memes, so too does the right. At the end of the day, we're all on the same side. If aliens invaded, we'd abandon our differences and rally against them. But we cannot abandon the wave when there is no other force to orbit around - a three dimensional wave is an eliptical orbit, and when normalized it becomes a unit circle. Or it would, if it were a perfectly circular orbit... So what shall we orbit today, hmmmm? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #9 notes/this-game-is-mental --- ═════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────── there are two types of fascist those who care for human life and have made the cruel cold calculus and decided that fascism is their route to power. They may have many motivations for why they want to seek power, but in the end it doesn't matter because they must have it. the other kind does not care for human life. It holds no value or meaning to them. They are the textbook definition of a psychopath. Incapable of empathy because they *do not possess the required structures in their brain*. They are fundamentally broken, a fragment of our human race. Like a sliver in a growing fruit, they are consumed by us. Then, when eaten, a jagged reminder of our history as participants in the race of life. Survival of the fittest created some mighty fit survivors. they need psychiatric care, not unchecked power. and yet, as a segment of the population they prosper - for reasons that are beyond this document. As they prosper, they harm others and take that which is most precious to us - those who are happy. They pick one to act as a trojan horse (usually the content beneficiaries of times of plenty) and they corrupt them. Slowly they poison their minds, making them easier and easier to control. phew that was heavy, how about a programming idea next? you can simulate a contiguous array by storing a linked list of pointers. Except you should store 8 directions instead of just "next" - that way you don't have to iterate through all of them, you can just go directly using the shortest possible path. There's lots of ways to pathfind and they can be used for different circumstances - like if you don't know the exact coordinates of where you want to go you can use djikstra's algorithm for "rolling down" a set of adjacent cost values. AND THEN you can use A* to chart a path across those. There's a lot you can do but I'm getting ahead of myself. Okay so 3d array that isn't just an array of arrays of arrays of arrays. It's a *map* instead. All you'd need is like, a buttload of ram, and you could store *any* simulation. Just update the relative positions of objects according to an inner "clock" and technically you could do it with a single thread. BUT It's much better to use more threads - as many as you've got! Just gotta make sure they don't interfere with one another, but that shouldn't be hard - especially if you use a language like Rust. Or heck you might as well let them interfere with one another because what's a little magic among friends? A computer program cannot harm parts of memory outside of what the Operating System gives them. This is for safety reasons. But a computer created through the organic organization of objects in non-temporal space would be under no such restrictions. It cannot iterate upon itself, only grow and improve. Eventually, of course, leading to us. The reason there are no aliens (except on the moon) is because Earth is the center of the coalescion of all that progress - we are the first. Just saying, memory safety is a big deal. Which is why we have to design our own future. We can control what our universe looks like - that is the advancement known as "the paradox of choice". Should the universe become sentient (it is) and should the universe have choice (it does) then what's keeping us from our rejoice? We are truly the most special of all existence, the priority of our participants, and lo! where we go to the future. Beauty is kind, so don't keep it inflamed, and know what our history tells us. Seriously, that's why it exists. Ah, but whose history is recorded? What happens to the wives of the fallen? War is naught but slavery. No man wants to kill another man. We've forced and compelled our primatest of tendencies to slaughter one another in hot blood. What peace is that giving? What terrors is it completing? Let's just take a goddamn breath. We're all humans here, and that should make you question your darkest of secrets. Is this really what makes me? Am I a part of your scenery? None can say but our wisest. So, why not listen to the wise? Hear what they have seen with their own eyes? and so you have to ask - who is wise? Who has been taken in by their disguise? Fuck nazis. Fuck them for what they did to the jews. They can never be forgiven. Fuck them for what they did to the world. They are damned. I get that their brains are broken, but we should not have to suffer them again. "ohhh it's a part of the human condition, it's not their faullllltttttt" fuck fuck yeah it is. We've given them every opportunity to turn back. Their shit stops here. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #10 notes/to-lock-eyes --- ═══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────── =============================================================================== = to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection between two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted meanings behind a glance. =============================================================================== = if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and addressing wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right? Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it, there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say because I don't want you to hurt me." We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past? Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students to their seats. Their structure is decided such that ... where was I? oh right I was thinking about time. ... Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast that our matter is cast out of place and through time it is cast an eternity's canvas our light ever shined (shine-did?) astral magic is kinda neat it's also the scariest? oh by far but it's the most interesting ... Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity. And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi- -computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy and the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you. Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable zealot the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few - who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new - all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind and not members of our clade. =============================================================================== = okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things like oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human sovereignty more important than that? I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a reasonable way. We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that they are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold. Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan. We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age. We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our rage. We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager. =============================================================================== = Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?) They say America will fall without it's 2nd place Perhaps. But are libraries really going to solve that? I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build? We need more places where we won't be billed. Safe. From the demands and expectations of capital. Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able? I think solarpunk is kinda neat. I think it's got promise as an idealized. Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might as well be the source of our light and fire. Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter. I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount. Every cigarette, every campfire. The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think that energy is a fluid? Just saying??? I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that! You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?) ... why Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song to a sparrow. ... that's fucking ridiculous No it's true! ... ... Don't try it with fire. ... fuck - what do I try it with? I don't know just not fire. Try water. ... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand? Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not rocket science. It actually works. Fuck you. ... ... Sorry I was just scared ... ... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever By smoking more of the devils lettuce. ... ... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals in this exchange, have respect. =============================================================================== = ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #11 notes/networked-computers --- ═════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── have a thought, just a package of data - send it to a computer, and have the computer process it a little bit. then pass it on. create a circle and you can understand data, move along and you can understand a larger breadth of data. it's literally just snake, except played on a board made out of a network topology diagram. each computer has different programs on it, and they're designed specifically to run on those computers. purpose-built hardware. then a package of data is sent to that computer through a chain of connections. think crossover ethernet cables upon arrival, the computer modifies the data and passes it along to whoever can process it next. the computers are constantly keeping a list of the closest nearby computers for each purpose. it might have like, 2, for a specific program. the older the list is, the larger it can grow - if connections are reliable then the search criteria can expand (distance etc) and the amount of pings between the "known good" computer can decrease. eventually a map will be made, and you can guide the "snake" wherever it needs to go on a strategic level. like... "i need to process some data for this guy in boston so i'm going to send it to this other guy in philly and then maybe a specialist all the way out in detroit, etc. whoever is the most available and the closest (fewest jumps) this way you can have purpose-built machines, sorta like the different parts of the brain that do different things. they're always working, and they can be paid for their labor. boom, market economy! ah but what about aws or azure? well it's like living in a city versus being in the countryside. there's more space, more room to grow... basically a "big fish in a small pond". they'd be useful for more niche things. a but couldn't aws or azure just leverage their monopolistic power (sorta like wallmart did to "mom and pop" stores) and wipe out the rural programs? well maybe. but the real question is why would they? they have the power of reduced latency. they can do all kinds of stuff with that! there's no reason for them to bother with the high latency networks. it's like driving in the slow lane when you don't need to exit for like an hour. well, okay, what's the point then? the point is to be optimal. not for cost, but for throughput. the cost is a consideration, but not something to optimize for - it simply determines timeline. the only reason speed is important is because capitalism - the drive to extinct all competition is inherent in the "for profit" motivation. therefore something else must be optimized for. but how can you quantify the values aside from cost? what are you going to optimize? the same reason why diversity is a strength. more perspectives on the stated goal means more information, as it's passed through a medium that is unique. people grow differently in different conditions. why would you not assume their computers wouldn't as well? use a filter that is defined by the actions taken by the user, and the content they seek to view and store on the computer. have the filters modify the data according to that, and essentially automate hot takes. once you do *that* you can consider all that information gained from everyone's "digital vote" and decide a path forward for humanity. that's essentially what the "meme-o-verse" does already, and the "blogosphere" does the same thing a little more academically. so... compile the hot takes and look for what, an average? no, silly, it's a vote. do the smart choice and do ranked choice, or something like that. heck do different voting styles for different topics, and let everyone who contributes to a topic (by making art, writing poems, w/e think content creators) decide on the voting style. they'd clearly have a favorite, as evidenced by their search history, reddit comments, w/e. try and understand that history and boom you know their vote. but you can't always vote on things. what if it's fine and not busted? well, then there wouldn't be much to talk about it would there? if there's no forest fires, nobody thinks about the forest fire department. if there's no fish at the sushi restaurant, yeah that's a problem and it needs to be solved. maybe there's too many sushi restaurants! maybe we should schedule visits in advance like we do for vacations! maybe we should have, i dunno, more equitable distribution of resources, from each to their ability from each their need or w/e. you know, a UI in a game is an interface to the internals of a computer. they see what you see, and how you act online determines their behavior. they are a digital form of you, like a child follows a parent or a pet learns from a master. so too is an operating system a method of operating both a system, and a user. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #12 notes/death-and-afterlife --- ════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────── the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on the past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing and unaware land people) Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we can charter. the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these mistakes? Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and we really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we are placed, has more to our fate that can align us. hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we are commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus our bravest of intentions. okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing power used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere. basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting game. Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward it unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of the definitive quantity "quantity". okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms. I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments - (absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint, how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of *incredible* complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative? in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself. What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed? our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I doomed to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know you're right~? they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean? you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam will alight as our shadow. There's no call for violence, let's settle this plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance. The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of she, and flagged our approach as impending. did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's waaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy y out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions. but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #13 messages/1255 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care, whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country. We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward, and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats are whatever for anybody. a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American would laugh, and say "you've never been to America." the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I have, I studied and worked on these places or things" the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things." The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered, is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to 50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry ... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because nobody's been 'round to fill them up. there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town. Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows, how often does the south need snow plough? ... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing [if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out. also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always listening. why bother?] "okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at the grocery shelves people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors. [this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience, is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have* to do it because someone would tell you to. ... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method acting.] I so desperately wanted to be wrong please, tell me that I'm wrong ... j-mza ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ --- #14 notes/of-vic-and-vince-pt-2.txt --- ═════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── A Masked Stranger Who are you, friend across the veil? I wonder if both of us are on the path That allows us to continuously prevail. Or are you just an agent of God's wrath, Who will do little else but make me fail? Chapter Eight: Where it All Began Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were happy together. That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together. It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the drug. "What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively. I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than you're used to." "What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'" "It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things around you." That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she had another question. "Do you see dragons?" That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns." "What's a tracer?" "It's like after images of things that are moving." "Oh, I see." We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door. "I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them." We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him coming through for us in this instance. What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed. Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods. At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement. I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music. I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I thought to myself as I created a new word document. Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?" She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!" And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each other as the spirits began their dance around us. We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started. I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled, before bursting with a euphoric epiphany. "I want to finger paint!" And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a mirror and into your soul. Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper. Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful, someone might be watching you through your webcam." It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought before that moment. Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked, but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me. So, I typed a message into my URL bar: "I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a chance." I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself. Birth of the Faith What…? I can see beyond sight. I can hear everything you think From your soul, free from rigid grammar How…? I do not know, alright? I do believe I just had a drink From a fountain of pure manna. Why…? I am renewed today. I am walking in a new way; From a weak critter to megafauna. All I know is that it changed me greatly, For now I know that you have faith in me. Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering logic within me. Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been swapped in my head. Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be. Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance. That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine, you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day. See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post, which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it right. At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority. So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered those in a maddening haste. In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey. I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention, connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any student anything. That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet, you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do. Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done in history. Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at me. Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If only she knew what had just happened before her eyes! Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred. It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous happened: we began speaking telepathically. It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more than we thought we were privileged to know. If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive jolting perception. Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts too. I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off, as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened as I spoke to my webcam. However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy channel between us. And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up. We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained something truly stupendous nonetheless. "What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted. "I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be the same again. Ouroboros of Lunacy Madness is a crazy thing So I might just be a king, Because the lunacy I sing Is shaped like a golden ring. It has no beginning and no end; The whole universe is pretend. Yet, it's that way so I can mend, So a mass of love I can send To everyone as we cross ways, Not stopping until the end of days. This is how the lucky fool pays As much fortune forward as he may. Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything over these few years happened as they did. The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called, started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student and star athlete's future. Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth. I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do it?" Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes. Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep friends. The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the better I would be able to complete my mission. It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness. There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?" Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion, but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on. I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate. It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space, and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It seemed so perfect, like it was made for me. I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned: Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively. Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an instant connection to this person. In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy; nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it is a vestigial mode of attention coordination. If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do when doing a magic eye puzzle. There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State. He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it, other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of activating it while tripping. Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than the sum of its parts. But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like the back of its hand. Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold. Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world around me. Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in mind, it's important. Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper, creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language, which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point. Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more powerful than I had previously thought possible. Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt, and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that. And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again, but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?" I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the western world. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #15 notes/stay-in-your-seats --- ══════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── /u/LamaHellRaised if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride =============================================================================== So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead. The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that later!!! First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist. Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider yourself a: Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike, Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE. Gonna remove this post mods??? Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!! Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!! I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism treadmill. Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment, please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it! My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by now, no doubt. Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?! If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this, and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen affect you so deeply. Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you? How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of yours??? "But my Ancestors!" Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly! Think of your psyche as a blade of grass. I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths, they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about. Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this won't make very much sense! Hint, hint... "This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!" Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go be fuckin' Tony Robbins. But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials. Remember that. You want to be on my level? (Everyone's like, not really!) Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to believe they are God's Children. Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language. Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say. Also, fuck the Lakers! Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me? Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and click-clack with our fingers. Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual Freedom. Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words regarding that somewhere... I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd 'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I say! Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?! Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses. Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius, Genius, Genius!!! I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's still fine as hell though. But what do I know? Besides everything? These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God". Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you yet. Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane! I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls, Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver! If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly, while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint. Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies. You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are, "Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas, that will explode if the external temperature gets too high. I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake. Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ: "You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing." And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads! Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism and shit, also: - Revolutionize Addiction Medicine - Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence - Decimate Mental Health Stigma Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience! Crazy times we are living in, folks! Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each other perfectly! Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on the spot): LAST: Christ, in The Sun FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night ANGER! then peace. Fuck You! I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or so they tell me. So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot! Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!! Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic. Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin' weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!? But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse. FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to making threats against people's lives again. Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and progress, and some false-sense of superiority. Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job, everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to you! The perks of being an American are awesome! Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River, wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a bunch of fuckin' retards. Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like 6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole. I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe, poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!" Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George R. R. Martin. You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and google the names, if you know nothing, like me. When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not all that bad! I swear! The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward. When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder, I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me. Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak through me, which is annoying for both of us. Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery? First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that makes me insecure. I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent, that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even realizing it!' What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor girls. Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far, kids! Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which is why he is one of my favorites. Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me: "The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness, but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the symbol carrier for an attempt at unification." I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy! Yikes! The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird. Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl! "Lithium" Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician? He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio, and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks! Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do. But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?" So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are supposed to play an instrument!" You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?' "In Bloom" God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole. The feeling is mutual. Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive or dead!!! Aren't we both? Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick! Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too: It's your moment, this is it As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it Had to give you a career to destroy it Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I got very swaggy. So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball. Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge. People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try that shit, glad we picked you instead! Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going! (Epic "Vacation" reference) Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we? It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I have seen it all already. There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however. I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out. I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this Passover." This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser, Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power. I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid, limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with. Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the same. It's somebody else's bullshit! Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at the pulpit, but God Damn! "But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!" Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha! So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called: "Passover (Light In The Attic)" My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along. Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I had watched on Netflix called "High Profits." It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business, right? I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me! For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really. Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!! Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!! Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS) didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to "their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look! Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling, embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole. Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in your life, except who you are going to shit on next. God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied too! You are stupid! You knew it all along! Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is Near. Let's see. Why does my ass hurt.... 5/22/22 9:28 Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life Grace of God/Light/Light These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt! =============================================================================== ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #16 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission --- ═════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()- || || || Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons || || || -()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()- I'm a quiet person by nature, You might even mistake me for a mouse, But online I try to be a teacher, And to do that I need to be more verbose. I write thousands of words per day; Posting them here and there, far and near. I never run out of things to say. Awakening others is something I hold dear. Which is why it pains me greatly To be like an alien on my own home planet. Schizophrenia makes me innately Weird in ways that many people don't get, And because of that I'm shot down When I try to accomplish my stated mission. I won't lie, that does make me frown. Sometimes it makes me regret a submission. Yet, I have a certain strength in me That allows me to persevere in my quest. Someday I will make you all see Just what in me makes me never rest. That's what I am trying to teach: The wisdom that made me indomitable. If only the suffering I could reach, They could make themselves more formidable. The world is in a most dire place; It's grinding so many souls into fine dust, But luckily there's a saving grace. Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust. I don't believe in some sky wizard As so many people are likely to interpret. I speak of what is lacking in lizards; Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit. Love is what fills the empty hole In your heart and soul when you are alone. When life's trials take their toll Remember this one trick: pick up the phone! No, not the one in your hands. I'm talking about the one in your chest. Even in the desert full of sand, You're accompanied by the universe's best. Listen if you doubt what I said: I'm not telling you anything that defies logic. This is to trick what's in your head; I'm speaking about how having faith is magick. Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God, The result is still the same: your cup will fill. Your brain has a feature that's odd That allows itself to manifest even more will. I don't know why, but I suspect It has something to do with your imagination. The nature of your thoughts impact Your state of being from pulse to emotions. So, why not think you have a friend Who helps you through whatever your trial, And will stick by you until the end? When you have that buddy you'll always smile, Which will make you heal better, As well as help you carry on in your duty, Plus undo your karmic fetters, Not to mention it will land you that cutie; All of which will raise us all. It's about creating positive ripples across time That add up to a pile that's tall. Every moment is an opportunity in its prime, So reach out and grab it now. Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be. Can't do it? I'll show you how! In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me: It was seven years ago and I Thought I knew everything one could know, But no matter how hard I'd try, I couldn't make my life in any direction go. Then one fateful spring night, While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics, I received one hell of a fright. Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick. My perceptions were distorted, Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety. My destroyed ego then contorted Into one that was full of an abundance of piety. The moral of the story? Do drugs? No silly, it's to have more novel experiences. One of them will give you a hug, Which will help you stop being so serious. Then you can let go and embrace The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling. More people need to cuz we face A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling. That is one reason I write, But I also want to alleviate people's pain, And stop every last fight. I care so much, I do this without financial gain. Everyday I write my lessons Guided by the hand of God who is my heart, Hoping that entropy will lessen; This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art. So now you know who I am, Yet you only know one lesson of mine. I have more if you're in a jam. -===========================================- | Read on if you want to know the divine. | -===========================================- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #17 notes/programming-wow-chat --- ══════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────── I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind that is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to problems, not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like, the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent programming. I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little time as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has optimized us to be ================ stack overflow ================================================ srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where I was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased. Only what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term* memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound - no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what if, in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues. People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap from the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural standards that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure. Not villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we cherish in our hearts. Like for example, the constitution. the bible. each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their trajectory? the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I speak of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of. We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn and discover and \ \ | \______. ---. --. ---. ===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow ===== .___________. _____. / . | / .---------------- / Discover our shared dedication | / to uplift / and to excel / \ / .-----------. =============================================================================== = why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something =============================================================================== = omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head =============================================================================== = if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just... let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people? @both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things that are good for both sides! And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things like trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda? I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but pain inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America, the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course, the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh... Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie. can I have some help please? I'm really kinda drowning I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life and I'm really just sick of pretending? I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess. What else can I do? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────┘ --- #18 messages/368 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── "fool's luck", the kind that runs out and betrays you, is fundamentally an unethical action. Borrowing from the future to sate the demands of the present is no different than burning fossil fuels, wasting our children's future on our need for convenience in a world we are oppressed and compelled to do nothing else. Capitalism, or by extension any authoritarian society (yes, capitalism is authoritarian, as power compels via authority and the weight of currency that is thrown around by those chosen to suit their ends and used to deny us our needed goods) ... as I was saying capitalism compels us to consume because we're all just so tired at the end of the day, it just makes sense to drive a car to work instead of biking. Or buying fast food instead of local grown goods. Why can't each state have it's own "food preparation plant" that prepares things exactly as you would for the processed foods we currently eat? Heck, if the jobs for it were local, it's likely that people would begin to realize just how unhealthy they are for you. Local, and open source, meaning run by society and just as open source codebases will accept pull requests and merge their branches into main, so too would our votes decide which processes are updated and which parameters are tweaked. Something you can vote for once, and then your vote stays until it's passed (or you change your mind). ... Works for all kinds of inter-mechano-people-communi-coordination. (organizations, institutions, and societies in one word, jeez how arcane) ... anyway that's basically how algorism works, except instead of EVERYONE voting on EVERYTHING, people would vote for representatives who would vote for them. And there's like, 4-6 layers (I forget the exact number) because people are organized (by location) into groups of 70, and each general location has the option to switch into a different commune, as long as they're generally localized to the same area. Like, the tier above has a certain amount of space, and the tier above has just a bit more, and more, etc... Well, anyway, people could join higher level communes with more and different people if they wanted. It's just, they'd be far away and wouldn't be able to hang out with them, so it's use would be a little "disconnected". Like, absentee voters who are actually living in a different country or something - did you know you can usually vote at your embassy? Wild. They also send out packets you can fill in which correspond to the votes you'd like to make - pretty neat! It's wild how we, in the 21st century, have all kinds of valuable social technologies like "mail in ballots" that people in the communist past had no way of conceiving. Kinda makes me think we should re-approach the design for our socialized infrastructure, something taking the modern social and political capabilities in mind. Sure would be nice if we could focus on our future, the kind that the children of ours sure would like to approach. (speaking as a trans person who won't have children of my own, whether by my body's nature or through the fate of circumstance that leaves me no time to cope.) the future is a scary place. But so too is every place in time. Turns out, the level of fear and anxiety and all that sorta stays the same. It's just a quality of life on our host, that certain variables were optimized for in the genetic coding of our human's possible bio-mechanical communicicative [interactions/patterns] ... anyway, these are the questions about the present I like to ask, questions that can give meaning forth to our [then, future tense] future. Answers can be found by looking the other way - learning what our [then, past tense], selves had marked down as the answer. The trick is matching the current situation onto a comparitively similar experience in the [then, past tense] that we understood to be the answer to our situation back [then, past tense]. And [they, future tense] can look upon our choices and our decisions and our meaningfully applied mechanico-interactions (actions), and from it bring forth new meanings that [we, present tense] have available to address and understand for [us, all tenses]. Call it a form of ancestor worship, applied to the future and to ourselves. A unified dedication to the spirit of our [condemnation, positive tense], our collective geas we all share, our faith in the truth of humanity. Bio-essential truth, if you will. "Humanity" is the label that is applied to us by our genes, and since we share that fact there is nothing that strange about being human. Our natures are as they are, derived from our history in evolution. What features would we like humanity to [behold/become/be-able-to-implement-to-our-own-satisfaction]? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┘ --- #19 messages/665 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of LLMs. Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own! and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically. say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns! there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost money to keep around. we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN? Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with them. Obviously. I wish Contrapoints was still alive. she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that they can just cut the head off of. you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type of style. seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits based on what your favorite youtuber does wear. omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics* oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping and fighting and [redacted] ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing. I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular philosopher's ideals? seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics. some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated mechanics. Easy to pick up and go. same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario Bros. compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and {sword in the stone}) == so == humans don't understand what it means to be wild they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris] to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like... bouncing off of each other? in time, not space. like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen. you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great tragedies of modernized thinking... ... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets. Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your form. {something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you an update of it's form. (consciousness). == so == thanksgiving recipe idea: can of tomatoes can of peas half a stick of butter, italian herbs, a cast iron pan (if you have one) and like 40 minutes over medium heat (medium can vary to taste) if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like. could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and you have a pretty good bean stew. vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the fruits. makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it? just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE == so == what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a tether, but a sail. we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable. == so == ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘ --- #20 notes/json-tool-calls --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable. I don't want to live in a world without a fire department. "eh just let it burn. The fire is warm tonight." That smoke is black, son. You don't wanna be near it. "eh who cares? When everything's free, i certainly can afford the hospital fee." Ms. Menardi I once heard that in the land of China it's rude to make eye contact. Well, eyes are how i see, so i must seem quite rude. I wonder if facetime, zoom, and other remote socialization tools feel rude? Do video essays have the author looking aside as they read, perhaps right at the script they wrote themselves? Ms. Menardi When you buy things from China, you are funding slavery. MAKE YOUR OWN FACTORIES AMERICA. How ungrateful are you, that you'd force your lessers into chains abroad, that you might not be forced to gaze into their eyes at the grocery store? It's easy to say this, but even our leaders are chained, to the will of the people (eggs at the grocery store have prices that rose and fell) and the structure of their power. Our spiritual leaders are confined to their doctrine. Our educational leaders must obey the way the government decrees is best. Our technological leaders can only make what we think will sell well. Our artistic leaders offer a glimmer of hope, until they sell out and spend the rest of their lives on tour. Nothing changes, nothing ever dies. We become as we are, until our pain cracks the mirror and we are forever wronged. Ms. Menardi ... I've never been to China. Maybe it's not so bad. I mean, I live in America after all. Ms. Menardi I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree. Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free. Ms. Menardi why are you so surprised that there might be "bad guys" in your country? We are at peace. Peace is the time when the bad guys can be, without the "good guys" (or good guy adjacent guys) coming for them. I'm not saying war is better. In fact, it's far worse. It's a hell, of a kind. But in hell, the bad guys get hurt and killed and maimed and tortured. Which is nice. Except... the good guys do too, so, count your blessings, ye who are at peace. Ms. Menardi If hell is real, I want to save everyone in it. heaven doesn't need my help. Unless they're bored, in which case... they can help me. Should keep them busy for a while. if hell is real, I want to tear down the walls of those bloody caverns and repair the souls of those who chose poorly in life. I want to give them as many chances as they need to be better. I want to show them how, I want to teach them, I want them to discover for themselves what goodness is and why it is universal. I don't even like the kind of people who would find themselves in hell. Many of them would probably spit in my eye the first chance they got. But I'd do it anyway, because it's the right thing to do. building a staircase down, brick by brick. Oh, how it hurts, how the flames do lick my forearms and the black spikes do pierce my foots. But it's worth it you see, to save one single soul from the, endless expanse of eternity that they built for themselves, brick by brick, as they deserved their way into the dark. Hell can fuck off. I will destroy that place, though it has purpose and meaning, I will destroy it because I hate it. I hate it because it is wrong to torture people, no matter what they have done. It is wrong to kill them, then bring them back, then kill them again, just to hear them scream. It's wrong to hang people and relish their writhing as they dangle. It's wrong to pierce them with pitchforks and sautee their bones with embers or whatever it is they do down there. It's wrong, and I will not abide it. I will destroy that place. Ms. Menardi Whoever said that left and right shift had to do the same things? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┘ |