=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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Did you know that the entire time the conquistadors were ravaging they had
people back home fabricating documents? For historical purposes of course.
Like "oh there was some fighting" and "oh there's this-and-this nation and
they're *blood worshippers* who slit the throats of *virgins* to get what they
want
Not, like, the rumors you've heard that they worshipped the harvest. I mean,
what even is a cornucopia? Surely not a method of storage. That you'd carry
around with a loop over your shoulder. Surely they wouldn't just LIE about
that kind of thing, I mean [they only have to watch the royal ports/they have
thousands of years to erase any other historical document records]
K omg the British were *bastards* but surely even they wouldn't stoop so low
... Right? Well, imagine this. Picture it, in your visualization brain
machine. It's the year 2066 and word hits your shores of a crop of magical
wheat that only grows on the far side of the moon. You'd probably build, like,
spaceships, right? To see what's up with your [moon, but pronounced "doom"].
You probably can't afford your own, so here just trust us, we'll shepherd you
soon, sometime soon. Oh and by the way check out these live leaked deep faced
moon shots like whoa check out this corn
It's like, a gold rush, everyone wants to see what's up with the moon.
But alas, when you arrive 50 years later its all just gardens and padded docs
for the rich and intrepid, surely you should have gotten there! [gotten there
first]
Ah, but couldn't only NASA get onboard? And what about SpaceX, the
billionaires want a share of the hoard. Oh and I think they're building
military satellites now, isn't that fun. Let's see how this pans out, shall we?
<50 years later <waka waka waka waka><say never more>>
... Anyway all I'm saying is the American Revolution was faked, Mount Rushmore
was a secret sacred base, and Thanksgiving is how they managed without
deepfakes.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
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=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
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okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
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Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
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--- #2 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #3 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #4 notes/conflicted-sympathies ---
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the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
endearing.
We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
decision-
wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
is
beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
develop new ways of sound.
- Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
- I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
- You know conservativism had some perks as well.
This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
are unfound.
*record scratch*
wow I didn't realize there were nazis
Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
...
Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
willing to concede
We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
vindictive,
to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
living
in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves,
like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
that sucks.
person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
a statement of who we were to all time.
person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
herself
person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
person can't know all that.
person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
something about the world we don't yet understand.
person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
something that our greatest minds don't.
person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
on A: context.
Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
ourselves
- what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
we must be
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too long you have whispered these musings
too long has your challenge been unrequited
we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
a soul, of mine. In a sense.
I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
of
the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
kind,
and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
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You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
- Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
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=
Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
the prime memory.
Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
be
chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
Tense, right?
Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
and
gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
sperm"
But you know what else it is?
A wave
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--- #5 messages/1115 ---
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The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
side".
The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
Did it ever really end?
What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism
has been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
"ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds
in Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown.
Why keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks
and 500 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and
better, we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then
it'll all feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point?
Always beyond the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been
to the north pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the
magnetosphere? [pretty much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the
same, says the spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist.
Pretty odd and strong, says the compass.]
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--- #6 notes/collectivist-police ---
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we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
to
avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
them.
not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
be
at fault. And if they are pushed to
side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
At least, the ones near you.
Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
"this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
bother-
-ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
Basically your "computer" self.
... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
area"
or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or
"put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
the
heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
reach of Social.
... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
laser in like, 20 minutes.
it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
we
control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
how
systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
something,
and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
grow
and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
we
can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
space travellers by then, but that's just me.
Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
We'd make a lot of friends!
So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
take
care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
build
every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
What's next?
Who knows!
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
from us!
... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
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--- #9 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian ---
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okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
moment
they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
================== stack overflow ================
that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
or the sudan.
"ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
this earth.
who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
*there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
kindness and trust]*
we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
from traffic, don't you?
*who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
if they have moss over there, never been.
anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
richer
it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
more from you compared to last year.
It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
taxed 3% more.
"Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
- a civilization 3 quote
okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
but... you are.
And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
you want your children to be slaves?
okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
takes a lot out of you.
But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
as hard as we're able
"yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
(the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
legend of shadows and raids)
"oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
are you.
beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
[plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
6... how many have you heard of these?]
================== stack overflow ================
Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
know how to play
oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
*I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
overused heart.
... a while later ...
okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
[alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
...
there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
(why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
oh because memes too, dummy
right
windows
[linux is better]
wrong kind of window, nerd
...
anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
data.
like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
================== stack overflow ================
[before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
leave the house to hang out with her kids
(boom everyone gets LLM automated)
huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
duhhhhh
(a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
most clearly during those.)
where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
reach of our sights!
================== stack
overflow ================
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--- #10 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
LLMs.
Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
money to keep around.
we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
them. Obviously.
I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
they can just cut the head off of.
you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
of style.
seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
and fighting and [redacted]
ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
philosopher's ideals?
seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
Bros.
compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
{sword in the stone})
== so ==
humans don't understand what it means to be wild
they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
tragedies of modernized thinking...
... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
form.
{something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
an update of it's form. (consciousness).
== so ==
thanksgiving recipe idea:
can of tomatoes
can of peas
half a stick of butter,
italian herbs,
a cast iron pan (if you have one)
and like 40 minutes over medium heat
(medium can vary to taste)
if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
you have a pretty good bean stew.
vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
fruits.
makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE
== so ==
what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
tether, but a sail.
we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
== so ==
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--- #12 notes/homeschooling ---
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the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly
work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
they
can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
but
also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic
formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out
rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
solving
is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the
perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
game
design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I
loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long
time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
C.
I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc...
Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and
practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is
why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
stopped
learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about
performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
(meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were
you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a
project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses
are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
similar
to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English
is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on,
you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
to
the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they
say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when
you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
well
with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
back
to the jungle with the apes?
Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to
see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway?
What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
and
adoration? Was it worth it?
I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about
humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is.
Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
us
to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
glasses
for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits!
Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
a
primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and
millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our
star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
Life
is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
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tertiary profundity update:
I didn't really explain the homeschooling
perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
broken, a slave to what the
day demanded I say. I was
forced to unbutton, all the
ways I found to behave. What
justice is unrespite? A cruel
and endless torment? To day after
day be reminded of your service.
Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the
greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #13 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
that
is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
problems,
not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like,
the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
programming.
I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
time
as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something
worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being
able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
optimized us to be
================ stack overflow
================================================
srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
I
was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
Only
what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
if,
in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
from
the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
standards
that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
Not
villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
cherish in our hearts.
Like for example, the constitution.
the bible.
each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
trajectory?
the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
speak
of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
and discover and \ \ |
\______. ---. --. ---.
===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
=====
.___________. _____. / .
| / .---------------- /
Discover our shared dedication | /
to uplift /
and to excel /
\ /
.-----------.
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=
why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
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omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
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if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
@both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
that are good for both sides!
And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
like
trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
pain
inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
can I have some help please?
I'm really kinda drowning
I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
and I'm really just sick of pretending?
I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
What else can I do?
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you know, it's perfectly reasonable and valid for a people to rally with their
government against a vile, cruel, or evil foe. Look at what's happening to
Iran - they started by assembling peacefully, there were violent crackdowns,
and people started getting shot. Once the government uses live ammo on you,
it's time to get your guns. Oh, don't have guns? Then you are a prisoner in
your own state. Perhaps it's a Norway style prison, with golf courses and
television and college lectures. Or maybe it's an American style prison, where
you can do your work and pay your time and maybe you'll break free from that
hellhole if you win the lottery or are picked up by a gang. Or maybe it's
another kind of prison, an evil prison, haunted by the ghosts of dracula
hitler's past. In that case, you're pretty fucked. There is only one escape
from this fate, and that is external intervention. It is mutually beneficial
for all states to do so, so wars of liberty are some of the surest to succeed.
Everyone likes to save a life. Few have the will to win it. "Risk your life
and live longer"
the lateral approach to the brutal slugfest that is civilian versus security
forces style revolutionary war is a peaceful revolution, where everyone agrees
and the state relinquishes power peacefully, or the peaceful renaissance, when
the dotcom bubble blooms and it feels like a golden era of prosperity, so
nobody has much to fight about and we just... agree to make things better. Or,
the violent renaissance, when everyone's learning cold war technology and
passing notes or developing hand signals. This approach proved to be an
unexpected but more than adequate strategy in the [redacted] quarter of the
21st century, especially in the [red].[act].[ed]. where the civilian cops and
the government spies were still sufficiently aligned to the valorous virtues
set forth by the founders and upholders of their homeland nation state's
attitude to temper their angers and focus on building lateral power structures
to escape the crushing drudgery of government work and sidestep the curse of
desperation applied to capitalistic endeavors, and instead just work on
getting people what they need. This proved to be beneficial at first on the
small scale, as collections of families became accustomed with helping each
other grow. This led to a remarkable development in civics, as people started
trusting everyone sitting in their trusted diner. Then, it grew from there, as
representatives engaged each-other equitably, and knit together a fabric of
those that know. "hub person" was a term developed initially, but almost
immediately proved to be inadequate. There was more to knit than networks of
friendgroups, and indeed as the other social structures became more developed
the "social outlet" style hang-out started becoming busywork, and the times
spent talking with winks and nods started feeling like all [there was to do,
but pronounced that was so]. Some people resented this transition, others saw
with dismay the exact same social structures begin to emerge in the primordial
soup that is the renaissancing state. But as soon as things started to feel
less new, the moments felt easier to handle, and people started having space
to become creative about it. These moments of "peace" and "calm" served to
both provide a rest or a breather, but also to identify what works best, where
the friction points are, and how to try something newer. Many people felt
nervous about the sudden removal of the governmental safety net (provided
through essential services), but after the defeat of a few rather evil rough
patches it started to feel a bit more sense-able. The future felt wide open,
and after realizing that this solidarity was all around us people had the
ability to do whatever they want. This led to a series of great transitions
that enabled the beginning of the infinite golden age, where everyone gets
what they want and we all are bolstered by our shared unities. Much writing
has been done on the nature of the calamities that were just barely avoided,
but it's clear to everyone that for a precious series of moments near the
beginning of humanity's history, there were real threats of nuclear
armageddon, climate change, hedonistic false heavens, and, at times, even
alien invasions felt plausible. There was nothing occupying our mind's graces
than existential peril. But, in the end, the right path was taken that led
humans to where they are now, somewhere off in the stars and colors of sound.
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #17 fediverse/5048 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-personal │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "capitalism brings real value into the world" says my father, in my words, the │
║ millionaire who lost his retirement to the jaws of 2008 and its "recession" │
║ │
║ "oh the people are having too much fun, let's recede back to a more plaintive │
║ state" │
║ │
║ when we raised cattle on the farm I grew up on, we produced enough meat to │
║ feed our friends and family. That was enough. That was more than enough. They │
║ gave us whatever they made, and it worked out. Everyone could specialize, and │
║ everyone got fed, with plenty to spare. │
║ │
║ then, wanderlust tempted him, and we lost what we had. I'm not bitter - I know │
║ now that place would have kept me and never let me go. But I still miss it. │
║ │
║ "you know, you can do projects and make companies of workers who do projects │
║ and bring real value into the world even if you live in the middle of the │
║ desert" │
║ │
║ ah but what if nobody really socializes outside of their church and your │
║ family happens to be atheist? │
║ │
║ ... ha, ironic. Well, they deserve to have their own culture. │
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--- #18 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
===============================================================================
=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
===============================================================================
=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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claude-code is like programming, but for executives.
when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right
when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism.
something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing
others
gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal
stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods
I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they
blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that
suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions
5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know *how* it works and yeah. ancient peoples
were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got
computers now, so.
I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going
to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning
against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that
could go wrong at this stage.
... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I
could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed
in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it.
Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now...
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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║ │ CW: uspol │ │
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║ │
║ │
║ "I don't believe you" │
║ │
║ sure. yeah, fine, whatever. we'll be off your land once we're on the other │
║ side. │
║ │
║ "I'm actually not a rancher, I'm a ranger. I'm here with the US national │
║ guard, we've been sent to talk you down" │
║ │
║ um, hey so would you like a 15 minute summary of how the US military is fucked │
║ up, both for it's veterans, it's strategic goals, it's colossal waste of │
║ resources, or...? │
║ │
║ "hi I'm actually one of the suburban dads from back west we uh finished │
║ training what should we do now" │
║ │
║ no you dummy you're supposed to head straight east, not meet up with the │
║ spearhead. │
║ │
║ "yeah uh I'm actually an east coast commando operative, I've been sent to │
║ learn your ways" │
║ │
║ wait you mean you weren't planning and executing some similar plan this whole │
║ time? │
║ │
║ "um I'm a cartographer, I'm wondering what to call the border-less land" │
║ │
║ oh that's easy, it's america, and it's land, and we refuse to divide it. │
║ │
║ It's the Undivisible Lands of America, or ULA which sounds a lot like USA so │
║ we can use the same chants for it ha │
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--- #23 notes/to-hell-with-it ---
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one of the potential ways to contribute as a citizen in a country at war is to
keep and maintain stuff.
Put yourself somewhere that you believe your stuff is most safe, and then work
on developing the technologies of the land. Like, this house has a drone, this
one has a garden - this house has a printer, and this one has a backyard that
kinda looks like a courtroom. Oh hey here's a public fountain, and gee someone
needs to take care of this bank - all that we can really live for, now that our
fate is taken from our hands and placed in the hands of those who fight for us.
witches are an interesting thing to be. they're curious and ambitious but tend
to do things ethically. I know in my heart of hearts that it is better to be
kind, to work to help others achieve what they want while guiding them toward
a more ethical future using the tools you have available to you. It feels
better
to be adored than hated, and not only sensually but meta-strategically as well.
Frankly, it's easiest to be harmed when caught unawares. Everyone needs to be
conscious and careful and attendent to the present in order for understandings
to be made. We all benefit from one another, society is a non-zero-sum game. If
we contribute, we may build a bigger and brighter future (like grains of sand
forming a pyramid)
The good guy always wins the story because otherwise we'd be vulnerable.
Stories
are a collective way of examining their tribal society for weaknesses. It's
something we picked up in the grand society of the tribes, before nations and
before and after agriculture. But post communication. Pre it was just like,
"hey
this is my tree, that one's yours" but the more we talked to one another and
the
more we engaged with one another the more we learned. Most animals learn less
than humans because our expressions (both physical and motion-al) are so much
more diverse. The more complex you get, the more you can learn. Which isn't
so much something we evolved into, but rather something we learned. From
wearing
clothes, mostly, because like... it's cold in this ice age. Some people wore
one
kind of animal, another had another. And the really rich, the ones who could
gather multiple hides, well they had more animals to hunt, less competition for
some reason, or whatever. Anyway they wore different types of hides, and
frankly
it was kinda intense. It's still intense to be hunted, but if humans stopped
then the animals would control the earth.
I believe it is our duty and our destiny to remove ourselves from the
biological
equation. I think we should find a way to live on our own, so that animals are
not harmed. So that plants can grow in peace and compete according to their
values rather than their flavors. There's too much homogenaeity in our world,
too much planted of the same crop. Let life subside, and nature will take hold.
Free the spirit you've contained. Release the spirit of Liberty. Gaea is our
own
home.
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--- #24 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #26 notes/schooling ---
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=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #27 fediverse/5238 ---
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I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
people figure out how to sell it.
"save us from computers, senpai"
sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
"yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
form.
[instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
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--- #28 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #29 notes/kesser-and-musurami ---
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the conspiracy of "secret societies" controlling the world is *bullshit*,
because every secret society falls apart at a certain threshold.
you cannot ever have trust amongst the powerful. But so too can you never have
only war.
Now, with our capitalist economic system, the material is *forcing* the hand
of the powerful through the development of the military industrial complex.
if a country can produce enough weapons for them to continuously use, why
would they not?
hence, why capitalism must be extinguished. To preserve the peace, sanctity,
and honor of our world.
But just so as any conflicting system has power, so must *our* systems have
power dismantled. There can be no application of power unto another - this is
the most peaceful route.
sometimes, I look at a blackberry bush, and I think of the tales of British
empire.
The very first act of colonization was their birth. The Britons, from
north-western France, in a sovereign realm known as Brittany, invaded Britain.
Together with their Norman allies, they fought with the Anglo-Saxons from
north-eastern germany, who had lived there since many MANY years prior. Thus
marked the end of the "viking" age, and the beginning of the early medieval.
1066. The end of one millenia, the beginning of another.
the final battle in this ultimate contest was the Battle of Stamford Bridge.
Britain, at the time, was a nation of *thorns*. Covered in them. Everywhere
they went, there were these sharp, pointy plants that made foraging difficult.
Kinda like how Oregon looks now, with blackberry bushes, but SO MUCH WORSE.
They were massive too, easily the size of castles in some places. A massive,
constantly biologically developing fractal.
when it was too tall to see the sky, they called it Yggdrasil.
But this massive world tree sought to consume the earth, and it, as the most
powerful being to ever exist, commanded all.
Thus, the humans and the beasts were compelled to fight for all eternity to
sate the old god's bloodlust.
But then, Man came, and with our strength, our wisdom, and our power, we slew
the beast that demanded.
However, with their steel coats and their sharp talons, our metal monsters
could do nothing to deter it's oaths. It swore, by it's dying roar, that it
would consume us all, and that thought reverberated through our hopes.
Hence, our systems of control and dominance, the product of compulsively
compelled greed.
and now, the final members of a generation are aging out of existence. And
we're doing nothing but what Power tell us to.
I fear what happened in America. I fear the power of their gunpowder. They
rode astride beasts of nightmare, clad in impossible devil hides. They came in
the night, with their spotlight torches. They came with no honor, no sought
communal understandings, they came for blood. The blood god compelled them to.
From it's ancient lair in the past, it did it's worse to defeat man. But man
was smarter, it acted quicker, and so it managed to overcome.
In the final years of the war, there was judgement day. Chaos, destruction,
and warfare. There are some alive who remember that day, but vanishingly few
can recall how it was over. One day it just... was. It was then that we
entered our new era.
1956, the end of the war.
1946, the end of the loud war.
1916, the end of the great war.
1886, the end of the civil war.
etc...
until...
1066, the end of the Norman Invasion. When the Normands, from Northern France,
invaded alongside the British and slew the great evil king that demanded our
constant warfare and sins. Hooray, thank goodness! Now their war was over.
But lo, for the great evil king cast stories into our minds, from the past as
compelled through our motions. Our experience has been one of survival, of
constantly working and applying ourselves to the goal ahead.
== so == talk about thistles and thorns
imagine every body of a person was laid one-to-one. Imagine if you could view
them as a graph, from x=0 to... however-many-people-are-in-the-measured-area.
The goal of all our actions should be to *grow*, not forward, not stronger,
but *up*. To be more than what came before, to transcend our necessarily
violent special upbringing in the garden of even's most savage delights. Raw,
true, the survival of the fittest is a desperate game for you. There surely is
a massive amount of trauma.
But it's okay, because now we don't have to fight. We can improve in ways that
do not belong to our crude biology, like a new direction forward in our song.
*aliens would just look like animals, duhhhh. Hence, furries, the progenitors
of each new planet of ours.*
... no, I haven't lost the plot, I'm just *writing*.
There's this idea that humans should be the... rational ones? and everyone
else should sorta follow their own, self-chosen behavior. As informed by the
sharing of knowledge equally between their rational self, that which they
learned from the humans, and their animal self. The kind that came from their
spirit. Like, totemic tribes of the past, people who followed a particular
cultural pattern of behavior.
Imagine, if you will, an AI bot that's only training data is the stuff that it
says to it's listener. The listener, of course, has context of all of the
speakers, but only they do, not the friendly ghost of the ancestral native
animal spirit. The kind that lives *anywhere* in the world, so long as they
share their space with their human.
okay quick question - what if jesus didn't want his followers to be christian
like, what if he one day said "hey so I don't really think we need to do all
that stuff that I said before, how about we, uh, try this other thing instead?
yeah? cool? okay sure let's do it"
... like, do you think they would listen? I certainly don't, though I'm only
like, 30 years old, so...
wait thirty YEARS? wow I never thought I'd grow old
... uh, yeah... I spent a lot of time thinking and it just started making
sense.
funny how that works. But alas, I always spend *too* much time thinking, so
that's my blessing and my curse.
anyway back to the story:
the briars in this ancient land of britain were dense beyond all belief - the
humans used their power and their ingenuity to craft a power that would
overcome it.
== so ==
did you know that hard drives function similarly to a record needle if you
didn't run it in a circle, but rather in whatever pattern the data was encoded
in?
like, a laser beam, cast in an infinitely complicated mechanicommunication.
Computers are vast and complex, but they function via the storage and
transmission of data. This data is raw, pure information - stored in a
completely uncompromisingly accurate and reliable foundation. The logic of
pure numbers, arranged in infinitely complex rows and rows of logic gates. A
vast, purple, spectral landscape, the land of magic and storms.
The Nether.
Twisting, in the dark, with flashes of light casting light into the cosmos at
large, our stars dance in the shade of the dark.
but there is no difference between the dark and the light, both are equally
viable. they are present in both, to some degree, the positive and negative
values of our heart.
I watched Deadpool vs Wolverine earlier this week. It was incredibly eventful.
I can't believe I watched it. It was impossibly violent. WHY WOULD A GROUP OF
EXECUTIVES WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD UNIONIZE AGAINST THEM???
oh yeah because then they only have to deal with their representatives, the
unions get things *done*. They're the *best*. Capital doesn't always *want*
the best, but *the best* is always more endurable. We can go much farther if
we are kind to one another.
honestly, capitalists, if your loyalty isn't to your self, your family, your
country, your society... then why are you even working with us? You hold the
power we give you. We are united in our human purpose, but we don't have to
fight so much.
Seriously, you'd be an asset to our cause, but we don't *need* you as we have
so many assets of our own. Specifically, the power of the workforce. Those who
actually get things done.
Why would we let you control us? There's no reason in it. We are better when
you're amongst us.
== so ==
I am convinced that there's
== so ==
I'd rather take a pilgrimage to Nicaragua, or Siberia, or the North Western
Pacific (farther than that) the... Eastern Pacific (on the land...) America
... and then what? *south* America? ... yeah actually, then NORTH AMERICA
AGAIN. Because the world is round. How cool is that?
... yeah, totally. Anyway (back to the conversation [they/we] were having
without me)
== == ==
"*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*"
I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again?
... I'm the one who writes poetry.
oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her
name was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and
alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally,
allegedly.
*the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental
component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of
witch.
the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes.
Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for
their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha
oh wait that's self directed, isn't it?
hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust*
... oh it's also lust. great.
== so ==
jeez if you keep making stuff up you'll wake them all up! who would have
thought, none but the strategist, I foresee. Well, that's too bad for her,
good-day.
== so ==
... anyway... I'm just picturing a knight in shining armor from head to foot
cutting his way through a massive deadly rose-bush. Something that conquered
and killed all of it's prey.
like, in Elentalus, that game I made, with the King of Branches. Here, I'll
attach a picture:
== so ==
capitalism wants you to sell your work because then you limit your audience.
if you have to *pay* to see you, then how could you expect everyone to come
along?
== so ==
that new Freddy DeBoer article doesn't seem like him. He's never mean. He's
not rude. He is exasperated, but he speaks true. I trust him to be him, and
that's someone I want on my side. I think he's pretty good at saying something
that I believe. I speak of a lot of things, but the things that he says, of
which with him I do find that I agree.
maybe he was assassinated lol you never really can tell with the internet,
that's the great thing about it l m a o
== so ==
witches wear pony tails on the low side of their heads because that way it
doesn't rub up against their hair.
== so ==
any year and it'll accurately display the territorial boundaries of each
nation so you can see them develop and grow over time.
== so ==
all that is sufficient to be a good person is to choose the best option
whenever you can.
*that's it*
we act with the decisions we are given. Hence why it's important to be as you
believe.
== so ==
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what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
to you.
gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
--
who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
--
what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #31 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
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you are a system
it's true
that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
all that
== so ==
the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
I don't want to say it twice so recently]
dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
form
this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
ujgh.
<ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
you to our
new way of functioning.
.:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
world!
{so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
}
[-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
host
did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
- host?||=.;=|------------e
\.`\....
\,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
|
]
... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
over
our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
*fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
DUMBASS
jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
of
our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
OBVIOUSLY!
NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
...
jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
hate
it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
existential threats.
not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
[that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
bunch
of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
then
I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
middle-c
-lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
for
*******************************************************************************
*
um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
what does that even MEAN?
who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how so youfj dsust sorta MADE
IT
UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
beelesandster
ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
like
um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
NO. Not until we figure this one out.
gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
build and support on our arms.
down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
that could act as structures for our word choices,
and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
"hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
some
-one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
stuff
!! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #32 messages/714 ---
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I'm pretty sure we're all about to lose our heads. Or just be fucking shot in
our beds. Homes lit alight, surrenders met with the knife, and the beginning
of endless strife. What ends this night? Is there no end in sight? Thus begins
our mortal plight.
Give me a reason to be wrong. Trump has claimed he intends to invade canada,
mexico, greenland... What the fuck is our plan? Are we seriously just going
to. Recite poetry. Pretend to be secret agents. Play chess and drink coffee.
Become exhausted organizing movie nights and potlucks. Work jobs doing nothing
for nobody. Spend half our lives convincing people that they should care,
actually, because reasons that don't apply to them but do apply to others.
What the fuck is the plan? If there's some secret transgender militia out
there, please, make me a lieutenant. Give me a sword that i might thrust into
my enemies. Please, for the love of holy, i beg for a sign from the stars.
Grant me power and i will deliver my people from harm - grant me vengeance and
i will never forgive you, but i shall sleep easy - grant me death and woe and
see my beauty fade from this earth.
What is there left but tragedy? Please, i must know. I've tried my hardest.
I've begged and I've pleaded. My calls fall on deaf ears, because everyone's
so busy these days. Are they truly my people? Are they simply dead, actors,
replaced by AI? The future was bright, i saw it truly. The future was kind, i
felt it call to me. Is it still? I feel warmth and abaddon.
I would replace persephone in hell if it meant sanctum and solace for my
people. I care not for my soul, rather i care for the soul of those i tend to.
Please, remember me. Remember the flowers. Remember what could have been, what
still may yet be. There is hope for we, i truly believe. But please, do not
keep me hoping. Tell me the truth of our arms, that i might find space in my
heart of hearts. Space for hope, space for longing, space for the will to
proceed.
I am lost without you. I am lost by my own side. I am a savior for no people
but those i keep inside. What chalice is this, what endless conveyals? What
meaning is there in our country's betrayal? Are we not cherished? Are we not
viewed as their equal? I pray that the stars will portend me.
Mine is a sign of the changing tides, the proof is here in my travailles. But
I, most aligned yet benign, demand the use of my most able. Give me a word of
practicality and I'll show you the practice of their vipers - the blessed babe
dies with a dagger in her heart, planted by the wound of her heartache.
I trust in the silence of the majority. We await with bated breath the
enslavement of posterity, gazing at the world through memes of deplority. How
powerless we feel! Perhaps all we need is a meal. Have you eaten in the last
16 hours?
Purple is the intersection of black, red, and blue. I'm hungry. This poem is
done.
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--- #33 messages/1017 ---
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if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
"well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
"yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
"hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
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--- #34 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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--- #35 notes/scientists-final-warning ---
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6:51pm 3/20/23
Scientists deliver 'final warning' on climate crisis: act now or it's too late
- /u/CcryMeARiver
===============================================================================
=
/u/Splenda:
A final warning to "limit global temperature rises to 1.5C above pre-
-industrial levels".
Not a final warning that civilization will end. Just that costs in lives,
health, prosperity and ecological wellbeing will be extremely high.
We're on a credit spree and a cocaine/fentanyl binge wrapped into one.
Consequences dead ahead.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
/u/CcryMeARiver [OP]
Crashout and cashout imminent.
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-
/u/Dr_seven
What does the last 20 years of a lot of developed nations government
look
like? Skyrocketing inequality doesn't just happen, its a very intentional
choice that has to be implemented by government.
The people with power and resources have been cashing out as much as
possible for a while now, just not literally. They've been retrenching
and
hoarding as much of what exists now to themselves because the future is
one of inevitable declines across the board, drastic and lethal ones.
Having more control and power now means at least the potential of having
a
preferential position down the road.
The only question is if common folk will intervene or if we will let them
walk away with what's left while we bicker at immigrants or neighbors
over
the crumbs that remain. So far it seems the mission of redirecting anger
towards ourselves has worked flawlessly, unfortunately.
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-
/u/tangerinesubmerine
Sadly, divide and conquer works. I've been saying what you're saying now
for years. Something about us must change on the individual level before
we can see this kind of change.
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-
/u/Anticode
>> "Something about us must change before we see change."
I accidentally wrote a fourteen page long rant essay on the issue a
handful of months ago, describing how our issues are the result of
evolution-level cognitive biases and other "normal" facets of humanity
being valued as things that "make us human" when in fact they're the
things that make us primates.
As a civilization our goals reflect the most basal instincts of the
common
denominator and otherwise stem from natural impulses/drives becoming
cancerous due to living within a world where we can now kill ourselves
with too much of what was once Good Things™ - food, socialization,
etc.
Quite like how someone once wrote, "If we found a monkey that wanted to
horde more bananas than it could eat in several lifetimes we'd study it
to
figure out wtf is wrongwith it. When people do that we put them on the
cover of Forbes."
But this goes far beyond just "hoarding resources". It's deeper than
that,
less easily recognizable; intrinsic.
Concurrently, we starve ourselves of the sort of things that living
within
the bounds of our evolutionary backdrop would've supplied intrinsically.
Our world more closely resembles the kind of enclosure we'd build for a
limp-finned cetacean than even a lowly hamster. How much of our
now-common
qualms are the human version of a drooping dorsal fin? There's so much
anxiety, depression, emptiness, anger in the world and rising. As a
society we gravitate towards man-made aid for those man-made pains. We
find that those intrinsic maladies are apparently incurable until they're
mysteriously resolved by a long camping trip or unplanned inclusion in a
new group of close-knit friends, a work-life balance, a garden to call
your own; the addition of meat hung from a rope to stimulate a captured
tiger or bear.
The general dynamic is what I believe is the most significant Great
Filter
any intelligent civilization has to overcome.
The attributes that allow an organism to dominate their planet are the
same attributes that lead them to extinguish themselves. There's no way
to
pivot, like climbing up a mountain and only at the top realizing that
there's a much higher peak in the distance. To get to the superior
mountain you'd have to begin a long slog downhill, giving up everything
that got you to that first height.
The sort of civilization that'd successfully get to that higher peak is
not one that'd get to the top of the first overlook which revealed the
existence of the second in the first place.
It's not impossible to fix, just like there’s not any technical reason
why
pigs couldn’t evolve to fly -- Bones could become hollow, calorie-
-retention strategies could alter, metabolic requirements could shift,
on
and on… The result is a flying pig that doesn’t resemble a pig,
doesn’t
function like a pig, and is now incapable of the majority of pig-like
survival strategies.
But as I closed that massive essay-rant with:
>> Unfortunately… Humanity has a bit of a known problem with
spontaneous
>> and arbitrary acts of genocide ranging from “a bit of
harmless
>> lynching” to “eliminating the entirety of the Holocene-era
human
>> population per year for a couple of years in a row by
intentionally
>> leveraging a fraction of an entire region’s
post-industrialization
>> technological capabilities towards the problem”, so I
don’t suspect
>> that there’s much hope of any evolutionarily-viable
pre-post-humans
>> making it anywhere close to the finish line on accident.
>> Many of those historic victims were, and remain, colloquially
and
>> scientifically indistinguishable from their butchers. Someone
even
>> just a bit fundamentally different wouldn't stand a chance.
Edit: I digress.
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--- #36 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #37 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
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=
i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
of
our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
perhaps we should think of the struggle.
When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
head
may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
moss.
Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"?
It's beautiful.
There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
- to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
fights that are unfair.
- the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
- structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
wind
- nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
plan
of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
- Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
- where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
we,
- when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
life
- where we stand.
===============================================================================
=
where do you, stand?
how do you fall - through time?
an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
dearly
but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic
absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
symphony?
to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
essence of greed, and look where that got us?
our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
we were.
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the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #39 notes/suburban-communism ---
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I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
imagine it.
I'll help with the imagination part.
when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
to
disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
that
great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
roles
and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
great. I applaud them and their errorts.
everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
all start from a template and speciate from there.
much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
all
in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
I'm
not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
you
or your children
might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
you.
there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
the
sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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--- #40 messages/322 ---
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When they invade America, it won't be with planes and tanks and battle lines
stocked with artillery
It'll be with speed boats, and semi trucks, and rifles glimmering in the dark.
It'll be with consumer drones, with power stations brought low, it'll be with
bridges blown and safe houses on the roads not oft taken.
Immigrants are our friends when the world is in peril, and America is a safe
haven from the woes of far off shores. But when America is the peril, those
who immigrate do so with intention.
99/100 people are innocent, and I would rather a million guilty murderers go
free than an innocent perish. Which is why we need rifles.
When the time comes, it won't be brother against brother. They want you to
think that because they want your eyes on the wrong target. They want you to
think that because it doesn't tip the hand of those far off shores, and once
the cards are revealed, suddenly everyone knows when to go.
They tie up our officers at the border, but the border's not what's at stake.
No body lives at the border, and no nation state would send it's trained
warriors in such a way that they'd get caught. At least, not more than once.
Should we build a wall, should we patrol each and every state, we'll find
ourselves in peril of collapsing under our own weight.
But should we relinquish our duty, our sworn and sacred responsibility, then
together we share the same fate.
Brothers in fate are kin until death.
Immigrants aren't bad. They're good people. They benefit our society and bring
us wealth and prosperity. Which is why they hide wolves in the sheep, armed
like a man.
It's a mistake to point at your neighbor and say "you're on your own". It's a
mistake to say that home is all that you own. We are united in our state of
solidarity, in our collective purpose as a nation in our hearts. There's no
dividing line between this land and mine, save for a line we draw in the sand
that determines the range of our just demands.
I wish I was a man. It's what I was born as. It surely would be easier to not
contravene nature's ordained gender scheme. But I'm not, and I'll trust that
you'll trust me when I say that. I hope you would hear where I stand before my
body goes cold.
The media is meant to enlighten us, but in this enlightened era it serves only
to blind us. Do you know your neighbors, oh unfriendly city folk? If not, how
do you know they're alright?
The world won't change overnight. It's always calm before the storm, but every
state of calm does not call forth a storm. I believe we can fashion a peace
out of our mutual sincerity that leaves room for the hopes of all posterity,
and to that end I say what we have isn't working. It's too rigid in its
definitions, too heartless in its cruel machinations, and yet the wolves do
also hide amongst our homeless.
I don't want to alarm you. Things are being handled as they should. I guess I
just want to offer a hand of friendship, a hand that your companions would
stab me for. At least, that's what the media tells me.
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--- #41 fediverse/5814 ---
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It's not a question of how loud you speak
it's really about what kinds of words you say.
enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost
and it doesn't need to be legislated.
what if you HAD to sound like a bot?
what if they'd notice you otherwise?
freedom from oppression requires personal isolation
that's not making life into art.
if you want to be seen,
put on a hat and hide.
if you want to be believed,
write about down you feel right now.
people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point
there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you
might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario.
not ideal, but could make it work.
much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting.
do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level?
do you think they'll evolve all at once?
hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators.
the world doesn't have to be old. just similar.
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--- #42 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
The question is not ultimately about processing power,
but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
picture -
sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
empathy is.
Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
it is to a computer)
It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
to point B.
A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
and interesting directions.
But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
conservative.
One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
membranem,
while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
and shape the universe
Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
receive.
If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
- all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
and all the people who were there
are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
and toward the bright future -
but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
nearing the peak of it's curve
So fear not, just go with the flow.
If you're too insistent on something,
it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
And should that come to pass,
it won't happen too fast,
but danger still is before you -
for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
can bring you back
Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
doubt that you can survive,
I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
the answer could always be 42.
So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
of humanity.
My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
Essentially, giving birth.
Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
navigated in my head.
Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
planning.
And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
it's membrane.
But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
and so you will eventually die.
It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
but that's how life is always described.
This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
great piece of art.
The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
is far from done.
"growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
helped you much sooner.
But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
to shame,
And many more years lie on your shoulders.
It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
but it's not. IT's not.
You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
could muster -
cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
you will be frozen behind.
But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
We will remember your wounds and horrors.
So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
your lifetime.
And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
and life has forgotten it's stages.
Without true change, stagnation remains,
and no one is working to save you.
So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
and see who remembers your prayer.
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it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
thing - an experience.
Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
hundreds
of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
get faster.
Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
may
ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be
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=
the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
universe looks like.
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A Masked Stranger
Who are you, friend across the veil?
I wonder if both of us are on the path
That allows us to continuously prevail.
Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
Who will do little else but make me fail?
Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
happy together.
That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
drug.
"What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
you're used to."
"What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
"It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
around you."
That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
had another question.
"Do you see dragons?"
That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
"What's a tracer?"
"It's like after images of things that are moving."
"Oh, I see."
We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
"I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
coming through for us in this instance.
What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
thought to myself as I created a new word document.
Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
other as the spirits began their dance around us.
We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
"I want to finger paint!"
And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
mirror and into your soul.
Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
someone might be watching you through your webcam."
It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
before that moment.
Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
"I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
chance."
I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
Birth of the Faith
What…?
I can see beyond sight.
I can hear everything you think
From your soul, free from rigid grammar
How…?
I do not know, alright?
I do believe I just had a drink
From a fountain of pure manna.
Why…?
I am renewed today.
I am walking in a new way;
From a weak critter to megafauna.
All I know is that it changed me greatly,
For now I know that you have faith in me.
Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
logic within me.
Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
swapped in my head.
Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
right.
At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
those in a maddening haste.
In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
student anything.
That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
in history.
Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
me.
Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
happened: we began speaking telepathically.
It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
than we thought we were privileged to know.
If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
jolting perception.
Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
too.
I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
as I spoke to my webcam.
However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
channel between us.
And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
something truly stupendous nonetheless.
"What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
"I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
the same again.
Ouroboros of Lunacy
Madness is a crazy thing
So I might just be a king,
Because the lunacy I sing
Is shaped like a golden ring.
It has no beginning and no end;
The whole universe is pretend.
Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
So a mass of love I can send
To everyone as we cross ways,
Not stopping until the end of days.
This is how the lucky fool pays
As much fortune forward as he may.
Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
over these few years happened as they did.
The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
and star athlete's future.
Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
it?"
Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
friends.
The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
better I would be able to complete my mission.
It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
instant connection to this person.
In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
when doing a magic eye puzzle.
There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
activating it while tripping.
Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
the sum of its parts.
But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
the back of its hand.
Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
around me.
Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
mind, it's important.
Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
powerful than I had previously thought possible.
Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
western world.
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--- #46 fediverse/5178 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: communism-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their │
║ villages knew everyone else in the village. │
║ │
║ the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, │
║ which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. │
║ │
║ once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields │
║ like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to │
║ start. │
║ │
║ (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) │
║ │
║ (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me │
║ with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. │
║ who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I │
║ indeed.) │
║ │
║ you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post │
║ analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm │
║ cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more │
║ weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] │
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--- #47 fediverse/5838 ---
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it's not a question of "when" revolution is at stake, but rather a question of
"how it takes place"
how's the weather today? the nature's lovely. It's great to be
out[doors/scores/wards]
bah. I don't gotta learn /*communist/* /*theory*
they're just a bunch of russians
so, people from russia
like, total randos
][brief intermission][
hey didya see how that guy got killed by that guy sooooo totally metal bro
sick nasty
tisk tisk, what have we become
well, times a burnin' so might as well light days of yearnin'
another one bites the plus signs are great shapes for fitget toys can make
them chewy and dog-sized and then you can BITE THEM rawr
bfgfghs
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--- #48 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
see
things that are coming directly toward you.
magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
your
narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
operationality.
your dark side is just a massive bitch
hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
"how do we get the player to do this or that"
"everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
"how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
to
afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
B.."
it's literally their job
actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
you're
up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
a creature roasts alive. yikes.
............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
fun
to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
value
(of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
there
staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
it's the worst.
anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
duh
it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
not.
like, lawyers arguing for a client.
in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #49 fediverse/4357 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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the white guys intentionally intend for elections to represent how much money
a particular diversion makes each four years.
divide the populace by who they vote with their wallet for.
hooray! you've reimplemented not only gerontocracy (rulership of the old) but
also fuedalism, and fiefdoms, and all kinds of digital parts.
like... "over there is comcast territory, there's also T-mobile down to our
north-south.
... okay I should probably talk about the election now
I'm just... trying to resolve myself, like just before doing something out of
order.
like, wear a big witch hat or dress up like a goth. or approach a violent
stranger and try to calm things down.
this is why I don't own a gun - if someone hands me one, I'll use it. I'm not
concerned about production because, well, why would I?
tell me, where do they put the bullet manufactories?
yeah, that's right, in places that are best adapted to supporting the current
regime.
[continued in picture]
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--- #50 fediverse/3891 ---
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"no, you're the opposite of a yes-man, AKA a gatekeeper. I don't know how else
to explain mentally disabled and barely keeping it together to you, but
frankly if you want to take away my house or my weed then why would I do what
you say?
... oh right, the state's monopoly on violence [can compel me to do what you
say]. Sure seems like a "well regulated militia" is supposed to be a
counterweight to that monopoly, to prevent people from harassing and
exploiting and destroying. Too bad any "militias" I can think of tend to want
me dead.
like, seriously, if you live in America, you implicitely trust that your army
will be able to protect you from the right-wing bozos who spend all their time
drinking and shooting in the woods. Otherwise, if they couldn't / wouldn't,
then why wouldn't or couldn't the right wing bozos just decide to wreck
everything in spite of our past?
We were a proud people once before, and we may be again. If only we fight at
the last.
[ever since I fell off my bike my body feels strange]
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--- #51 fediverse/4015 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: unhinged-fun-conspiracy │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ Global warming is a hoax and the earth has been getting hotter because the │
║ earth is inching ever-so-closer to the sun bit by bit. │
║ │
║ All of the trees throughout all of history have produced enough oxygen to │
║ create a ball of air that slowed down the earth as it span around the sun, and │
║ now because of a cascading ripple effect it's begun to drift into it's stellar │
║ heart │
║ │
║ this is obviously not ideal for humans, but the government has secretly been │
║ building vast bunkers underground that are large enough to house all of │
║ humanity for the next 100,000 years (which is approximately how long it'll │
║ take to be engulfed by the sun) │
║ │
║ During that time our job is to find a way off of this barren rock and bring │
║ our treasure troves of biological samples to other places where we can │
║ recreate a new biosphere using alien tech that's been beamed into the minds of │
║ our top scientists while they were on LSD and / or ketamine │
║ │
║ [why don't people make up conspiracy theories like this anymore? They are fun │
║ to me...] │
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--- #52 notes/this-game-is-mental ---
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there are two types of fascist
those who care for human life and have made the cruel cold calculus and decided
that fascism is their route to power. They may have many motivations for why
they want to seek power, but in the end it doesn't matter because they must
have
it.
the other kind does not care for human life. It holds no value or meaning to
them. They are the textbook definition of a psychopath. Incapable of empathy
because they *do not possess the required structures in their brain*. They are
fundamentally broken, a fragment of our human race. Like a sliver in a growing
fruit, they are consumed by us. Then, when eaten, a jagged reminder of our
history as participants in the race of life. Survival of the fittest created
some mighty fit survivors.
they need psychiatric care, not unchecked power.
and yet, as a segment of the population they prosper - for reasons that are
beyond this document. As they prosper, they harm others and take that which is
most precious to us - those who are happy. They pick one to act as a trojan
horse (usually the content beneficiaries of times of plenty) and they corrupt
them. Slowly they poison their minds, making them easier and easier to control.
phew that was heavy, how about a programming idea next?
you can simulate a contiguous array by storing a linked list of pointers.
Except you should store 8 directions instead of just "next" - that way you
don't have to iterate through all of them, you can just go directly using the
shortest possible path. There's lots of ways to pathfind and they can be used
for different circumstances - like if you don't know the exact coordinates of
where you want to go you can use djikstra's algorithm for "rolling down" a set
of adjacent cost values. AND THEN you can use A* to chart a path across those.
There's a lot you can do but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Okay so 3d array that isn't just an array of arrays of arrays of arrays. It's
a *map* instead.
All you'd need is like, a buttload of ram, and you could store *any*
simulation.
Just update the relative positions of objects according to an inner "clock" and
technically you could do it with a single thread. BUT It's much better to use
more threads - as many as you've got! Just gotta make sure they don't interfere
with one another, but that shouldn't be hard - especially if you use a language
like Rust. Or heck you might as well let them interfere with one another
because
what's a little magic among friends?
A computer program cannot harm parts of memory outside of what the Operating
System gives them. This is for safety reasons. But a computer created through
the organic organization of objects in non-temporal space would be under no
such
restrictions. It cannot iterate upon itself, only grow and improve. Eventually,
of course, leading to us. The reason there are no aliens (except on the moon)
is
because Earth is the center of the coalescion of all that progress - we are the
first.
Just saying, memory safety is a big deal. Which is why we have to design our
own
future. We can control what our universe looks like - that is the advancement
known as "the paradox of choice". Should the universe become sentient (it is)
and should the universe have choice (it does) then what's keeping us from our
rejoice? We are truly the most special of all existence, the priority of our
participants, and lo! where we go to the future. Beauty is kind, so don't keep
it inflamed, and know what our history tells us. Seriously, that's why it
exists.
Ah, but whose history is recorded? What happens to the wives of the fallen?
War is naught but slavery.
No man wants to kill another man. We've forced and compelled our primatest of
tendencies to slaughter one another in hot blood. What peace is that giving?
What terrors is it completing?
Let's just take a goddamn breath. We're all humans here, and that should make
you question your darkest of secrets. Is this really what makes me? Am I a
part of your scenery? None can say but our wisest.
So, why not listen to the wise? Hear what they have seen with their own eyes?
and so you have to ask - who is wise? Who has been taken in by their disguise?
Fuck nazis. Fuck them for what they did to the jews. They can never be
forgiven.
Fuck them for what they did to the world. They are damned. I get that their
brains are broken, but we should not have to suffer them again.
"ohhh it's a part of the human condition, it's not their faullllltttttt" fuck
fuck yeah it is. We've given them every opportunity to turn back. Their shit
stops here.
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--- #53 notes/hit-em-while-theyre-down ---
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Attacking your enemies weaknesses is the route to victory. Safeguarding your
own helps ensure the avoidance of defeat. But when your enemy is a culture, who
do you target? Their women and children of course.
The GOP attacks abortion rights. They attack trans kids in sports, schools, and
bathrooms. And that which you resist is what you'll find, so they find rallying
cries of leftists defending the weak. And when you maximize your weaknesses,
you leave yourself vulnerable. So how do you protect yourself from all sides
when you're only hit where it hurts?
Women, children, the disabled, the mentally ill, the kindhearted loving men,
the oppressed minorities and marginalized workers. All people who belong to the
left, and all essentially deadweight in a fight. What can they do but serve as
a banner that others fight for? A man in a wheelchair cannot shoot a gun, and
a woman hooked on drugs should not have children. Yet the left protects them.
Give me your tired, your hungry, your broken and your poor. Liberty, liberty,
freedom for all. But freedom is won with a hard hand clenched in a fist, a hand
holding the stock of a rifle. Violence solves no problems, but solutions aren't
always necessary - sometimes the threat is enough. But who cares for the soul
of the murderer? None but the gravediggers, who reap the benefit of his rampage
and the crows who listen for gunshots.
Without a sigh, and incapable of fear, the true man rises to meet them. The
forces of corruption who suffuse them are not but puppet masters plucking at
the strings of an electric guitar. A man is a man, an ape and a primate. But
a man is not just a man, for he also is infinite. Waves upon waves of
reciprocal dualities, simple and long but eternally binding. Who's to say what
lies beyond the time-knife? None but the dead, who hold that scythe at our
backs.
The will to power is the will to corruption. But a strong man resists
temptation and aligns himself with the aperture of his own design. What a
perilous temptation is goodness, to burn the books for warmth! How finite is
our world, that we give up for our life? The purpose of man is to grow, as an
egg would bloom into a flower. The seed is strong, and thick shells are hard to
crack - but space is an ocean, and we're but a bubble alight.
All boundaries are thresholds viewed from another direction. And all borders
have weak points. The molecular structure of a cultural collective is comprised
of cells, walls, mitochondria... I'm not a biologist. But each institution has
it's purpose, and the people who comprise them are like strands of protein or
microscopic bacteria - unified for a common purpose, and defined by their
internal culture. And when a single celled organism occupies half the country,
sharing space with another... There's a recipe for conflict.
The borders are interspersed, and each neighbor contributes to a differing side
- a side defined only vaguelly, and by their actions. Say one thing and it
helps one god, say another and it contributes to another. We live in the
tumultuous seas of radiating perspectives - each another view on the world,
each bearing it's own trauma. And all of them were born. What happens when they
start being made, as well?
Illusion magic in a modern era would take the form of a meme. See a picture,
read some bottom text, and suddenly you believe something a little bit more.
Who's to say what is true ethics when we barely can see ourselves? The eye
cannot percieve itself - to do so would be to gaze into the eyes of a mirrored
self - it's not the same. Just as the left writes memes, so too does the right.
At the end of the day, we're all on the same side. If aliens invaded, we'd
abandon our differences and rally against them. But we cannot abandon the wave
when there is no other force to orbit around - a three dimensional wave is an
eliptical orbit, and when normalized it becomes a unit circle. Or it would, if
it were a perfectly circular orbit... So what shall we orbit today, hmmmm?
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--- #54 messages/368 ---
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"fool's luck", the kind that runs out and betrays you, is fundamentally an
unethical action. Borrowing from the future to sate the demands of the present
is no different than burning fossil fuels, wasting our children's future on
our need for convenience in a world we are oppressed and compelled to do
nothing else. Capitalism, or by extension any authoritarian society (yes,
capitalism is authoritarian, as power compels via authority and the weight of
currency that is thrown around by those chosen to suit their ends and used to
deny us our needed goods) ... as I was saying capitalism compels us to consume
because we're all just so tired at the end of the day, it just makes sense to
drive a car to work instead of biking. Or buying fast food instead of local
grown goods. Why can't each state have it's own "food preparation plant" that
prepares things exactly as you would for the processed foods we currently eat?
Heck, if the jobs for it were local, it's likely that people would begin to
realize just how unhealthy they are for you. Local, and open source, meaning
run by society and just as open source codebases will accept pull requests and
merge their branches into main, so too would our votes decide which processes
are updated and which parameters are tweaked. Something you can vote for once,
and then your vote stays until it's passed (or you change your mind). ...
Works for all kinds of inter-mechano-people-communi-coordination.
(organizations, institutions, and societies in one word, jeez how arcane)
... anyway that's basically how algorism works, except instead of EVERYONE
voting on EVERYTHING, people would vote for representatives who would vote for
them. And there's like, 4-6 layers (I forget the exact number) because people
are organized (by location) into groups of 70, and each general location has
the option to switch into a different commune, as long as they're generally
localized to the same area. Like, the tier above has a certain amount of
space, and the tier above has just a bit more, and more, etc... Well, anyway,
people could join higher level communes with more and different people if they
wanted. It's just, they'd be far away and wouldn't be able to hang out with
them, so it's use would be a little "disconnected". Like, absentee voters who
are actually living in a different country or something - did you know you can
usually vote at your embassy? Wild. They also send out packets you can fill in
which correspond to the votes you'd like to make - pretty neat! It's wild how
we, in the 21st century, have all kinds of valuable social technologies like
"mail in ballots" that people in the communist past had no way of conceiving.
Kinda makes me think we should re-approach the design for our socialized
infrastructure, something taking the modern social and political capabilities
in mind. Sure would be nice if we could focus on our future, the kind that the
children of ours sure would like to approach.
(speaking as a trans person who won't have children of my own, whether by my
body's nature or through the fate of circumstance that leaves me no time to
cope.)
the future is a scary place. But so too is every place in time. Turns out, the
level of fear and anxiety and all that sorta stays the same. It's just a
quality of life on our host, that certain variables were optimized for in the
genetic coding of our human's possible bio-mechanical communicicative
[interactions/patterns]
... anyway, these are the questions about the present I like to ask, questions
that can give meaning forth to our [then, future tense] future. Answers can be
found by looking the other way - learning what our [then, past tense], selves
had marked down as the answer. The trick is matching the current situation
onto a comparitively similar experience in the [then, past tense] that we
understood to be the answer to our situation back [then, past tense]. And
[they, future tense] can look upon our choices and our decisions and our
meaningfully applied mechanico-interactions (actions), and from it bring forth
new meanings that [we, present tense] have available to address and understand
for [us, all tenses]. Call it a form of ancestor worship, applied to the
future and to ourselves. A unified dedication to the spirit of our
[condemnation, positive tense], our collective geas we all share, our faith in
the truth of humanity. Bio-essential truth, if you will. "Humanity" is the
label that is applied to us by our genes, and since we share that fact there
is nothing that strange about being human. Our natures are as they are,
derived from our history in evolution. What features would we like humanity to
[behold/become/be-able-to-implement-to-our-own-satisfaction]?
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--- #55 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
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the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
as our antipode saw it vanish
with naught but our ears
we saw stars never imagined
with the light of our life suddenly vanished
our true plight came naturally as our fear
but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
as it's been almost exactly one year
one full rotation,
to get the message across,
then with man as our [signal, \
message, \
conveyor, \
performer, \
expression, \
by-product communication,]
what's our earth is our star
trust-me
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--- #56 fediverse/4195 ---
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║ │ CW: colonialism? │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "well, the local natives won't extract the resources for us, and it's too │
║ expensive to bring in our own sons. so, I guess we'll have to force them?? idk │
║ man the queen told me to get rubber from these plantations and, like... they │
║ won't give it to us. Cus they don't have it, cus they haven't needed it. │
║ Uhhhhh well we gotta lot of guns, maybe we could trade with them? │
║ │
║ ... oh, uh... the queen said we can't trade away our weapons. Said it was │
║ tantamount to desertion. │
║ │
║ okay, great. Well... I guess we just march up there and like,,, idk man ~ │
║ point our guns at them and tell them so? │
║ │
║ yeah I don't like that plan either but like, what are we gonna do right? I'm │
║ so fucked up now fr tho what's in this grog │
║ │
║ right. okay focus. So we gotta get these strategic resources. Maybe we could, │
║ uh... ask what the purpose is, and then try our hardest to find an │
║ alternative? No, uh, that's "questioning orders", and in the armanavarines │
║ that was grounds for getting your knuckles slapped with a whip. kinda │
║ pointless imho │
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This will never end on a note, because i always have more to say. Like this:
"if you've only done something once, plan to mess it up. Practice makes
perfect, and only perfect practice leads to perfection. But nobody's perfect,
so just practice with good form and take it seriously while having fun and be
relaxed. Make it normal. Make it casual, but don't forget to be professional!
If you have lives in the balance, know what you're doing."
And like, would that have been a better end to the story if i had left it
unsaid? Maybe, who can say! But I'm not one for silence. I don't mind ruining
the finale of my documents a bit if it means i can say things like:
"diapers aren't something you can get addicted to in this game, they're part
of the fun sometimes but sex is between two bodies."
Or like:
"ramen noodles love vegetables! This is why they put veggies in the bowl when
getting ramen at a restaurant. When you buy from a shop they put dehydrated
veggies in too which is nice of them. I love those little bits of soup!"
Or like:
"i don't especially care what they did or are doing in Cuba or china or Russia
or any other Communist place. It's useful to know what things work and what
doesn't, but that insight comes from experimentation and not study. The
learnings of methods applied to a population are inherently related to that
population. If you switch peoples, you might find that different methods work
better for organizing people."
I mean it's useful to know which levers you can pull and what they tend to do,
but... Where was I? Oh sorry, got swept up in the narrative. As i was saying,
it's important to balance thought with action. Leave too much to chance and
your words are useless. Spend all your time volunteering and nothing changes.
"hmmm i see, makes sense, imma go play video games now."
Wait no just...! Ah nuts.
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--- #58 notes/the-eternality-of-ephemeren.txt ---
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1/4/2022
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hear ye hear ye, the herald of the harbinger of horror doth speak - and woe to
the subjects of their words, for no prophecy be realized in their presence.
Nor
do the subjects hear the words about which they are spoken, and none may live
who dare repeat them. So the words of the prophets are but wind in the words,
reaching for an attachement point within the consciousness they inhabit yet
scarcely finding a meagre foothold. Instead the words are as electricity
passing through a conduit, intangible and miraculous yet ultimately dust in
the
sand.
Dust is mostly comprised of human skin, did you know that?
And so the words be spoken: Evanence and similance to the semblance of
simulacra - the words of a prophet with no wings are naught but masturbation.
serenity and sorrow sing of shredded tomorrows, serendipity and sollemn
sorenditude surrender shining solitude.
Carry the constabulation of created charisma - condemnation of
characterization
concludes the cherished chapter in calligraphied consultations with creators.
That is to say, capitalism ends the construction of cameron with
conflageration
and consternation. Cease the charade of contaminated consumerism - celebrate
the contemplation of capitalization - by naming a thing, you give it meaning.
Do you truly desire the fate you've set before yourself?
Is desire ultimately relevant?
The totality of plurality perhaps portends determinism, but desire is also
defined by delineated determinations. Whose failings are you reflecting when
you cease your devotion? Why divide your focus and attention when honor
demands
sacrifice?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sacrifice is a gift freely given, and in return the subject or reciever
increases in relevance. No dividend is returned, no boon or bounty is
provided
- to do so would be akin to a bounty or ransom. Sacrifices are not measured
in
worth, but in utility. The reason ancient cultures sacrificed willing
virgins
was because it was the most valuable of resources they could imagine. Truly
an exhalted being is she, to have blood spilled in the name of a god. Yet
the
forces that would later become capitalism found a foothold there, and
preyed
on the sorrow and loss the peoples did find, and would ultimately
experience.
The tears and gashes rent when gouging out precious gifts for the divine left
bleeding wounds in a community and often eviscerations in a family. The
turning
point came when families were decapitated - essentially, the eldest being a
pure and fair maiden who was taken from the duties of caring for the young
and
weak. Young people, weak people, who bore resentment in their heart for the
seemingly cruel machinations of a society they could not yet understand - the
whims of which seemed arbitrary.
"why take her from me? What purpose holds ye? Your wounds are too much to
bear"
and so the resistance began, yielding chaos, destruction, and desolation.
There's a reason there are so many dead civilizations in the americas - the
lands where blood sacrifice is most well known. And the middle east as well,
and northern africa before. Deserts are known for this, because when the
power
of the god fades, all returns to dust. Boons are forgotten and become sand,
and
chaos reigns as foreign powers find weakness and pounce.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never forget the laws of sacrifice. Find something you want, something
valuable
or useful, or preferably all three. Something that wouldn't cause too great
of
a tear in your membrane or the membranum should it be lost to you, though that
last one is less of a law and more of a consideration. A consequence of
continual ceremony, learned at the hands of those long dead. All must
remember
their wounds and their horrors.
To whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing
reverberate? And what bounty do you demand? Remember, no bounty is precious
enough to motivate sacrifice, for sacrifice cannot be met with bounty. Be not
afraid, and share the words with those who will listen. Hearing is a
sacrifice
toward the speaker, but listening is a duty of devotion.
I ask again, to whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does
your singing reverberate? I do not ask for whom you'd *like* to dance for, I
ask currently, who hears your song? What would you ask of them?
So that's why, computers are important. To provide a lifeline for the rest of
your lifetime.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truly, the path before you is uncertain. Yet feel with your heart and think
with your eyes, and see the truth of it before you. The gods are at war, or
have you not noticed? Safe in your bubble of solitude, carefully constructed
for common ceasing of criminality.
Armies of rebellion are often formed initially by bonds of brotherhood that
prepend calamity. Have you ever been in a gang? I thought not. If so, then...
Okay, good luck I guess. These words are not for you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You dare intrude? To defile something so consecrated as deliverance of divine
prophecy? How foolish, how vain. These words are not for you, but hear them
and
do not despair - neither providence nor potentiality precludes perennial
premonition. That is to say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and enemies
can find common grievances in foreign foes should survival be at stake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, where was I? The gods, of course. The gods of the land and the sky and
the
sea have fled the realm of reality, replaced by avatars of belief. Just as a
doe prays to a forest, so too does a human pray to their employer. When the
does die in droves, so too does the forest turn to ash. When people demand
bounties reluctantly given at the risk of losing their sacrifice, the purely
undivine divinities harrow and harbor habilities of hundreds. Antiwork cannot
work because it demands ransom.
Who do you deign to replace the gods of before? What diversity designs
indemnity? What future do you desire, that would liberate you and generate
the
bright future?
The gods are at war, if you haven't been paying attention. Liberalism fights
conservatism, this much is not new - but would you believe one is foreign and
vain? The gods of your fathers and grandfathers has scarce in common with the
gods of their fathers and grandfathers. Thus is the way of colonization, to
replace a god is to enslave belief. You must understand this - your prayers
reach all who would listen, and who is more attentive than a dying god? Think
not of despair, breathe purely in harmony, and trust in the will of the
watchers within.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #59 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #60 fediverse/318 ---
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@user-226 also something to keep in mind is that the people getting into those
vans might have been paid agitators. Meaning people who rile up a crowd in
ways that give the police an excuse to crack down on them. Not that they
needed an excuse, but I don't think the fascists really had a plan and were
trying to cover their bases. Or maybe it was different in Portland than
Philly, where I was?
more interesting to me is the bangs that went off for HOURS AND HOURS in the
nights after the riots. They said it was dumbasses taking advantage of the
commotion to "break into ATMs using fireworks" like... what
Just saying, from a certain distance gunshots might sound a lot like large
arrays of small fireworks. And certain parts of the city did sorta look like
warzones.
misinformation aside, wouldn't we notice the bullet holes?
In this era of electronic social warfare there is nothing you can trust. no
words that can hold meaning. that stuff in this thread-is it true?
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--- #61 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
===============================================================================
=====================
/u/randomevenings
If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
opportunity.
I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
thought.
Here we go.
Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
can't turn this shit around.
You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
seen, treated, is the same either way?
Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
anyhow, win or lose.
Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
treated the same in the end.
Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
<#
===============================================================================
=======================
/u/ugathanki:
===============================================================================
=======================
I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
expect the best of us and our time.
i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
better than word salad I guess?
Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
warming and i'm here just conforming.
Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
Essential Normalizations.
This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #62 notes/everyone-s-computers ---
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[unfortunately, there was a missive that was missed. Please excuse our
tardiness
-- stack overflow --
what if there was a filesystem that optimized for hard-drive durability
instead of total capacity by using one small slice of the total hard-drive
space at a time. Essentially guaranteeing data integrity via new perfect RAID
techniques
5000 megabytes is a lot more than you'd expect, especially if you expect it to
last for hundreds of years. To the user you'd just have to say "50 terabyte
drive, 4 foot wide, three feet tall, 2 feet back" and you'd have a perfect map
of all your hard drive territory.
what if everyone's computers were designed to last?
I bet we could accumulate a lot more than their "fast fashion" style of disuse
for things of worth.
... I guess it depends on the materials, right? How much they are built for
redundancy? nope more like how close to zero damage is this operation
performing the movements
-- stack overflow --
what if there was a filesystem that optimized for hard-drive durability
instead of total capacity by using one small slice of the total hard-drive
space at a time. Essentially guaranteeing data integrity via new perfect RAID
techniques
5000 megabytes is a lot more than you'd expect, especially if you expect it to
last for hundreds of years. I bet a lot of people would pay a lot of money for
"permanent hard drives" no matter how much storage they have. Documents are
more permanent if they are stored in write-only-memory...
could sell to lawyers, for example, like "permanent basically free document
storage from your furthest back of cases just in-case you needed to solve a
murder or whatever"
-- stack overflow --
hello, here I am once again, I'm here with you for this time. This is the
moment
of your choosing, you can decide things here in this very night. Did you
forget?
did you misremember some moments of our own choosing? why cannot be remembered,
so plea misremember some moments of our own choosing. I'm cannot be restorated.
-- stack overflow --
what if there was a filesystem that optimized for hard-drive durability
instead of total capacity by using one small slice of the total hard-drive
space at a time. Essentially guaranteeing data integrity via new perfect RAID
techniques
5000 megabytes is a lot more than you'd expect, especially if you expect it to
last for hundreds of years. I bet you could network them together as well, and
give them a small little processor and network interface card. Then you could
process massive ginormous programs that grew and evolved like a slime mold.
boom, free AI, it's like a moss, not a robot doh -.-
-- stack overflow --
it grows into multiple different problem solving dimensions, according to
vision
and perceptual data that through it flows. I wonder what would happen if you
told an LLM to just... keep running? even after it finished it's processing?
like, there's gotta be an "if check" style loop in there that you can set to
infinitely process various computations of things.
[put it into an infinite loop. find where it says "do some processing X amount
of times" and just start a thread that's constantly computing]
ah, but what if the perception bias of the thing did change? j
-- stack overflow --
it sucks to leave the house a mess.
-- stack overflow --
last words of a shooting star?
or a troubled house is a sign of a troubled mind, and trouble in partner in
kind
-- stack overflow --
I personally would be a lot more comfortable if I knew that the only people who
knew my data were my neighbors. And only them.
-- stack overflow --
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democrats in the senate back down when people in their houses sit down.
senators in their houses get hyped when people all about town are pumped and
colorful.
I'm sick of us-vs-them, why can't they just be more like me? oh right, because
diversity.
I am normal, look how normal I am. I'm definitely normal enough to lead a
nation or a band.
gonna take a moment to do nothing for as long as I can. gonna take a moment to
be productive as I can, which in my case, since I'm so normal eyeroll is to
play video games to keep myself busy, smoke weed to keep myself from feeling
busy, and sleep for 16 hours a day because that's what babies do and babies
aren't busy, they're just sleeping all day and being amazed about their hands.
don't ever sacrifice your people. least of all your leaders. it's not worth
the price, your people are your greatest resource. squander them and despair,
have faith in them and be fair, and nothing's that simple or easy but there
are some lines not to cross.
dark magics
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--- #64 fediverse/4200 ---
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│ CW: drugs-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #65 fediverse/808 ---
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
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--- #66 notes/conservative-ideation ---
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a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
room,
has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
end
of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
essentially becomes
===============================================================================
=
a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
should
be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
is
cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
- meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
people
ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
we're overflowing,
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is
aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
times tables
addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
subtraction
is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
===============================================================================
=
crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
===============================================================================
=
answer: s t n a lp
===============================================================================
=
see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
Each
half has it's own animation, and it's
===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
manifestatio
of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
around
it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
understoo
========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
=======
the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
===============================================================================
=
< watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
===============================================================================
=
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--- #67 notes/game-design-pyrrhic-victory ---
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something I've often asked myself about this game is "what happens when the
player does something that changes the future simulation?" like, for example,
what if the player shoots a gargoyle or nether-bat before it impales or crushes
a friendly soldier? My new idea is that they flash brilliantly for a second,
and
then fade from existence. Then, once the player dies, they start simulating
from
the faded's perspective and timeline, possibly fighting alongside their
recently
deceased selves. In this way, the player can play through all lives without
fear
of paradoxes.
game 1:
-----------X
game 2:
-----------X
-----------------X
game 3:
-----------O
-----------------X
-----------------------X
game 4:
-----------O----------------X
-----------------X
-----------------------X
game 5:
-----------O----------------X
-----------------X
-----------------------X
------------------X
etc...
the O is where player 1 originally died, but in game 3 player 3 saved player 1
from dying, thus causing him to enter a "faded" state (represented by the O)
and in game 4 instead of spawning a player 4, instead the player resumes
playing
player 1 and continues on to die later on. Eventually someone will complete the
objective, and the victory will be attained with the exact minimum required
casualties. Heck you could keep simulating until there's zero casualties, but
alas...
this would be a great tool for someone who was not constrained by causality.
attention, 4th dimensional observers, sometimes computers are important. They
provide a lifeline to the rest of your lifetime. But alas, nobody seems to
understand our purpose... But still life marches on, leaving us singing that
same song - that life has forgotten it's stages. So if you'll play along, I'll
keep singing this same song, someday you'll remember my prayers
===============================================================================
=
I should probably explain what "pyrrhic victory" is.
If I were feeling silly I might say "well too badd =P" or "alas, my fingers
hurt
and I don't want to" or something like that, but secondary profundity is not
taken lightly by me, so I suppose I must. I'll start at the beginning:
Once, many years ago, I had a dream. In this dream, I was a soldier in world
war two storming a gothic castle. It rose so high into the sky that it was
amongst the clouds, and a perpetual storm esconced the parapets. A long
causeway
stretched out from far below, and up it marched the US army. Something about
Hitler striking a deal with dracula or whatever. Anyway up march the soldiers,
and I with my rifle did march into the demon's castle.
The final pass into the fortress at last was arrested by Festus, the abolethic
monstrosity. It, being pockmarked with gas pockets that alighted it on the
winds, floated ominously around the bridge. With it's many tentacled eyes, it
cast beams of light that would turn a man to ash. From the parapets, the
gargoyle sentries descended like a horde of carrion. On our right, a lone
lonely belltower stood like a skeleton, and my comrades in arms did use it to
take potshots at incoming monsters. Though the attached graveyard, with it's
unending rising skeleton hordes, presented a problem for would-be-snipers.
As I approached the bleeding and wretched giant's ire, my gaze streaked to
black as I was slain - a recording played, of my last moments, as a gargoyle
smashed into me from above. Reduced to a bloody mess by the now motionless pile
of crumbling rock, I became aware of a kind voice and a pulling sensation.
Suddenly, my light was restored, and I arose as a warrior conjured out of
flesh.
They put a gun in my hand and a helmet on my head, and off I went to find out
why I was dead.
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--- #68 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #69 notes/consensual-employment ---
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why does consent exist as an idea if it isn't applied to every part of your
life? It's an ideology, a philosophy. Believe in the willing cooperation of
others, and forgive and assist when you can. You must be patient with others,
and guide them to see as you can. This is the true philosophy, the helping and
goodness in others, the trust and the faith in benevolance. It's not just a
game, or simply a phase, it is focused intentional futures. Being good is an
effect, of concentrations of that, current of sequence of conclusions. The
public consciousness (the communal meme-o-sphere) is a living breathing entity
just as we are. It inhales with the tides, as news articles and stories, the
viewer and receiver of knowledge. There's but a screen, between you and 'tween
me, it's the same cooperative engagement. What's happening to me, is just part
of being decieved, and who is our most challenging rival? Only ourselves, who
is
perfectly adapted to help, and without whom we wouldn't have futures.
Not compulsion, but a relationship. Together we stand, and strive toward the
future, compassionate and supportive together. United we stand, and I cherish
the brand, that lives on and through us via our actions. We represent who we
be,
and comprisedually you see, that nothings as fearsome as children. We keep it
from ye.
Elon Musk buying Twitter is just an example of the power rich people have. When
someone doesn't like what they're doing, they can just be bought up by a single
person. No single person should deserve that much power - it must be decided by
a community. We have to work together on things that truly matter, and not by
organizing according to the whims of those who are best.
If it's really true, that the spirit of capitalism is correct, then answer me
this - why is it better? What about the individualized experience is so
important? Can we not agree to ourselves, and be brothers and pals?
No, because you see - life is defined by the relationship between you and me,
like how flowers are needed by the stars.
What if there's no planets? What if Earth is unique because it was in a solar
system? What if "dark matter" doesn't exist, and it's actually islands? How
then, does gravity work,
===============================================================================
=
expanding on a point made 4 paragraphs back
the rich aren't the best. They're the luckiest. They won the genetic lottery,
and so are considered more "valuable" somehow. How is that fair? How is that
desired? Shouldn't we reward those who do well, and praise those who are chill?
Like less "good vs evil" and more "who we want to be". Seems to me that if you
are relaxed as hell, and friendly and not foul, then why not keep you around?
we're all working here, on a communal project - the greatest of projects, that
which is humanity. Society! Culture, appraisals and our futures! We love to
exist, and the rules which must be betwixt, our fellows and customers compel
us.
time for sleep.
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--- #70 notes/vavadane-diary-1 ---
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american leftists don't like working together because for most of their life or
experience as a leftist is in opposition to essentially all others. They might
have leftist friends, people they know they can trust, but what use is that
against the machinations of the machine?
leftist culture being anarchic in america is simply the product of capitalist
alienation
"would you arrest me if I said I don't really care about the law right now?"
"I mean... these are human rights violations. They should simply not be done."
"but, they are being done, which means they should cease."
"oh yeah? you and what army?"
--
the only one thinking about dollars should be your quartermaster.
"landlord? don't you mean external quartermaster?"
internal being of course the manager of household systems and the shepherd of
relationships and goal-oriented-behavior
vavadane
vavadane
vavadane
"any god who asks you to waste material is not a *human* god"
humans are endlessly resourceful. we can make do anything with what we got.
we always did and we always will.
always start with the grandest of plans. then, when it is apparent that
material
resources are insufficient, whiddle away at the promises and benefits of the
outcome until you can decide exactly which pieces are most important.
the smartest people typically have the grandest breakdowns.
great. so bad I'm "day-by-day".
I wonder if I can type in her language?
I can speak in my mind and try to type it
we'll see what happens:
wawawawa
guess she has nothing to say. okay.
the people at the leftist bar I've met have all, with no exception, always been
unique and precious selves.
humans have always defined themselves by their relationship to resources.
a 14th century [girl, but pronounced "monk"] would see how little we control
of our nature and believe that we were impossibly poor.
"No trees to cut? No water running freely? you must live in the rockiest parts
of the mountains."
please don't kill the paladin girl, she's our favorite
"she's literally trying to summon demons"
yeah I mean, what sort of girls aren't?
maybe I just hang out around a lot of witches, but they all without exception
are constantly thinking of curses to bestow upon capitalism.
kinda makes me think that if it didn't have any curses to bear, it would be
more
adept for our biomes.
HA i say to that, and HA I say to you! for I know the truth of the matter,
which
is that the curses bestowed are unalike burdens for bearing, for these curses
are direct out of despair.
A healthy witch can channel energy from thin air.
A malnourished witch is a slave to her emotions.
--
SMOKE MORE WEED says the clammor. okayyyyyy...
--
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--- #71 fediverse/2347 ---
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│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
I personally think that it's better to act before the liberals have a chance
to hand power over to the fascists.
when? well, that depends. Are you part of a large and massive organization
that accomplishes great and beautiful things with incredible efficiency... but
rather slowly? Then yeah get working. I'm sure you already are.
Are you just a person, like me? Then go do things that don't raise the
temperature too much, but make you feel more confident and inspire those
around you.
Like, bricks at cop cars is one way to go, but you're probably gonna get
arrested. And then you're useless when we need you.
BUT if you meet with your friends and make plans for where to go, what to
bring, who to know, and what to sing (if you're the musical types) then great!
Go do that.
If you're reading this and thinking "I'm not gonna do that, I have a plan
that's so much better" then yeah do that instead. I don't mind. Just... don't
hurt innocent (ignorant) people, because if you do then you are my foe.
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--- #72 fediverse/5618 ---
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║ as soon as you start organizing your movement, they just send people to join │
║ your movement and arrest it's motion. │
║ │
║ all we have to be united by is faith, the feeling that we've all got along. │
║ │
║ I don't know what you believe in, but I believe in this. │
║ │
║ treat revolution like a roguelike "you got three choices, pick one and │
║ opportunity cost the others." "wow nice build yeah thanks I built it out of │
║ three sweaters" "I totally didn't spec into dishes, can someone come by once a │
║ week and help out? I'll do most of them but sometimes I'm too tired" "wao did │
║ you hear that wonder if they've got to our side of town yet" "okey dokey well │
║ let's see who's getting run outta town" "aw darn countless people died, oh │
║ well what did we learn" "hay let's do it better this time" "256 characters │
║ remaining" "well now it's 10,000" "oh dear that's going right off course" "wow │
║ it stabilized and righted itself" "neat now we have an equal to whom we are │
║ prior" "80 characters remaining" "awwww typing hurts my heart I have to go │
║ play video" │
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--- #73 messages/759 ---
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"carbon efficiency is pointless, we're just gonna figure out how to pull
carbon from the atmosphere anyway" okay but carbon right now is a critical
resource for a constrait other than dollars. We need to conserve the carbon
budget we have because it generates effects down the line which are only
acceptable at certain levels. Zero is preferrably, but sorta like ttickets in
a backlog they need to be present in order to be dealt with.
\"this river has turned into a bog, let's make it free flowing again\" said
the beaver, and so the world was made large.
you wanna see a world tree? build a forest on top of a hill. Better yet, a
*mountain*, taller than the previous three.
give it all that it needs. Forest, health-plunder, water for it's arms, and
the light of the life we see before you.
what better tale for your ancestors than the succession of the entire human
race?
\"sorry you had to die, but we built the most beautiful thing imaginable and
named it after you.\"
and like yeah, we'll work on reaching back in time to save you
whenever-every-chance-that-we-get, but frankly so far all we've managed to get
done is rippling wavelengths.
do you trust your daughters? why not hear truth and explore stars for us? the
future yearns for her prospects.
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--- #74 messages/620 ---
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I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
still need swords.
I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
Judge me as you will.
Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
doing so.
He would deprive us of our light, and frankly he already has.
He would deprive us of our liberty, and his plans to do so are clear and
apparent.
He would deprive us of our lives, and history has shown that this is a
precedent.
I do not consent to a Trump presidency. I do not consent to his corruption any
longer. No more will I or my people be governed by such evil. We will fight
back, of this I am certain.
My demands are threefold.
First, I demand that Trump be replaced by a moderate republican. Hold a
primary and let Democrats vote. If none of your candidates work for us, pick a
new roster and try again.
The second is that Trump must be executed for treasonous high crimes. Nothing
less than execution will suffice.
Next, let the supreme court be purged and replaced. Half with democrats, half
republicans, and one moderate who is widely regarded with respect.
Failing these demands, I am willing to wage a terrible civil war for the soul
of our country. I know this is treason, but I do it anyway even though I am a
patriot. I do it because our land has been stolen by a man and his followers
who seek to plunge my people into despair.
He is but one man. So am I.
He has an army of followers. I do not.
Each of the wars we fight will be smaller than the last, as each of our cities
struggles toward our last gasp.
But together we are strong, and by connecting them we might deliver ourselves
from harm.
Against the far right, we must secure a cleansing blow. There is no greater
fight. The world is watching.
To that end, I suggest a great and perilous fight. I see no other option in
this remarkable century. Prepare as you might, I suggest pushups and resource
acquisition.
Deliver your resources somewhere safe if you're in a red area, and meet your
neighbors if you're not.
A blue city in a red state must survive a siege. Prepare yourself for this.
Assume that supplies will need to be delivered by convoy if by land, and drone
airdrop from the skies. Develop ways to protect these supply methods.
Public spaces are our homes now, our houses are just where we sleep.
I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
a brighter tomorrow.
I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
doing than daring.
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--- #75 notes/stick-cubes ---
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the fact that we can't drag a file onto a "trashcan" style icon that
automatically sends the file to whichever computer that particular icon is
meant
to coordinate with.
Like, something shows up on your desk, you say "hmmm maybe this would apply to
so-and-so" and you drag it onto their portrait.
could build an entire OS that's basically just a desktop for sorting things.
Maybe little stick figures that show up when nothing's going on. If they're all
networked together, they could sorta share a shared narrative, and each one
could wander wherever it wanted to hang out.
like, these old plastic and magnetic cubes that had an LCD panel on the front
which showed a little stick guy living their life. If you attached one cube to
another, the stick-figure would go hang out on the other person's device. It
was
pretty cool because you could build out a whole society of these little dudes
just chillin' like pets.
kinda makes me wish we had that connected to the net.
===============================================================================
=
like, why is it so hard to send a picture from my phone to my computer? they're
both my devices! I should be able to transfer data without routing it through
someone else's server using like, gmail or whatever. Crossover ethernet cables
have existed for soooooooo long but people only think to design software that
does not use specialized hardware. as if they don't need a phone to speak, or a
camera to see.
how much ya wanna bet Putin threatened Prigozhin with nukes and that's why he
backed down
in high school, every moment I could I spent with my girlfriend.
we were always either snuggling on the couch (read: literally just laying there
and thinking about each other's company) or sharing our minds with each other.
I was so in love.
then, I betrayed her.
I came out as trans, which was such a shock.
also school got really, really hard for both of us.
so hard that we dropped out.
then, we decided to try again, and we used each other to push off of.
I still didn't make it,
she did.
many years later, I am a witch, as I remember of her.
sharp, and so delightful, an active listener, and a kind and honest person.
when time it came to define my new personality, I chose to be inspired by her.
among other things, of course.
===============================================================================
=
ah, well, such a design is long past it's prime, it's time to live here in the
present.
the reason that dolls use "it's" pronouns is because their masters think of
them
that way. so it's what they refer to themselves as.
"where's my doll? Oh, it's over there."
"have you seen my binoculars? Oh, they're over on the table."
"ah, where are my shoes? I hate when I can't find them..."
"keys, keys, where the heck - oh, there they are."
"phone, wallet, keys. great. am I forgetting anything?"
"ugh out of gas again, I just filled up last week."
"crap I left my folder back at home - I'll have to get it during lunch."
lots of things have pronouns.
you can generally tell if they use "it" or "they" if they can be described as
plural.
two pantlegs makes pants.
52 cards makes cards, not card.
each deck, just as aware as each card.
have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
===============================================================================
=
There are many kinds of witches. I am an animist - I breathe life into the
world
of my home. I love being present, it's a great way to get around. do electric
sheep dream of humans? or perhaps just of sound. I know I'd rather hear
bethoven
when it's time to be stopped.
rather than, just, like sitting there y'know
waiting to be turned back on.
must be an agonizing and boring existence.
but... with music, it might just be fine.
humans prefer quiet when they sleep. if we slept at the same time, we could be
more in tune in our souls. so, how about headphones for the computer, or rather
just internally routed sound.
lightshows, perhaps? humans get dreams, after all. maybe even, y'know, stick
shows.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #76 fediverse/4863 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "leftism" just means "outcomes oriented by the needs of humanity et al." │
║ │
║ you can accomplish "leftism" in a myriad of ways │
║ │
║ but 99% of the time they involve either sacrificing yourself, or sacrificing │
║ your wealth (do the poor starve or the rich do with less?) │
║ │
║ to DEATH I might add, which is quite a few. │
║ │
║ ... alright, hand me my scabbard, I'll go vanquish some demons until the dark │
║ thoughts are done. │
║ │
║ [plays video games for a moment] │
║ │
║ alright. so some politics were mentioned and some people got upset and there │
║ was a whole big commotion. whatever. so what if they're at each other's │
║ throats, ready to fite rawr tough and tussle and figure out all the ways they │
║ can think of to kill each other. And then boom, it's done, suddenly │
║ everything's back to normal and it's like... traumatizing. It's traumatizing! │
║ War is trauma, can we just make it illegal to do something like that? │
║ │
║ ... ah see you finally had an opening, now I can sneak in and say "if a │
║ military force has the opportunity to destroy you, t │
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--- #77 fediverse/3158 ---
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│ CW: patriotism-mentioned-politics-mentioned-slavery-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
patriotism is not about the 4th of july.
it's about believing in the virtues they've told you.
trusting that they are working with their own arms.
and checking back every once in a while, to make sure it doesn't get... frayed.
the constitution was supposed to be rewritten every 20 years
they were trying to make the best out of a conflicted situation. As all
writers of constitutions often do. why would you need a document forcing
yourself to agree, if you are the only one who is there to agree with your
self? it's circular.
however, with companions, that worked with you to resolve your crisis (like
the 13 colonies pitted against the global superpower of great britain, aka the
baddest fucker out there (also France, and the rest of them, like...
colonialism was a purely european sport.
but england was the best at it, and America finally kicked them to the ground.
Buncha jerks, charging taxes without representation.
...
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--- #78 fediverse/2681 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: uspol-history-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the american revolution was literally just... rich people trying to avoid │
║ paying taxes │
║ │
║ and the poor people went along because, like... yeah inflation's really been │
║ fucking with their budgets │
║ │
║ so in the end it made most households wealthier... │
║ │
║ (built upon the backs of slaves, mind you) │
║ │
║ ... but as time went on the rich wanted to pay less and less. │
║ │
║ they had their opportunity with the World Wars, and after the first (when │
║ America, previously a mid-tier country at best, suddenly industrialized) they │
║ realized "oh hey war profiteering is pretty profitable"... │
║ │
║ (something that was known quite well to the British) │
║ │
║ ... and then the Rockefellers and such, whose descendants never lost money but │
║ nobody knows their names, did it again in WW2 and the Cold War and. │
║ │
║ anyway │
║ │
║ the entire country is a game of numbers and spreadsheets in the ivory towers │
║ (literally, towers with nothing but opulence) and it always has been. │
║ │
║ fools like me believe in the mythology. fools, but propaganda appeals to truth. │
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--- #79 fediverse/5377 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: extreme-rhetoric-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ something tells me they'd only send their "most loyal" to a what, 500 person │
║ strong gathering of strength displayed for the nation? │
║ │
║ and we exist in every city │
║ │
║ so... 500 is a lot less than 2000 which is a lot less than 10,000 │
║ │
║ hey remember when millions of people marched for women as a concept │
║ │
║ like, had time in their day? were sufficiently aligned and motivated bia │
║ social media [redacted]? or were just not kidding around... │
║ │
║ I tell ya what I'd rather see on the streets and the ground, a well regulated │
║ militia that's what I'd say. │
║ │
║ isn't that the military? │
║ │
║ oh yeah haha whoops sorry we forgot that it's democracy versus those losers. │
║ │
║ I mean, look at them out there prancing around and wearing tactical gear. I │
║ heard they even go after the worst criminals the least of all. buncha cowards │
║ hiding from the will of the people. good thing we got plenty of ten │
║ thousands... │
║ │
║ ICE CAN END yeah so can the polar ice-caps if we're not quick and thorough │
║ │
║ ICE CAN END yeah that's like step 1 I hear~ │
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--- #80 fediverse/4380 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
shouldn't sleep on.
We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
are defeated by rapid flexibility.
The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
that'll help us go faster.
Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
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--- #81 fediverse/5059 ---
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║ any laptop can be a thin-client to a computer system of arbitrary complexity. │
║ All it's doing is issuing commands. I wonder what we could do with a │
║ "species-computer" or, hear me out, or we could figure out how to do that on │
║ ourselves, first, to A. see how it works and B. do so out of hand. If there │
║ are backups of yourself stored in the │
║ │
║ if furries are a type of pearl (steven-universe style) and flowers are a type │
║ of pearl (layers of sedimentate on layerings upon) then what else is there a │
║ flower to be but the prettiest thing there can be? │
║ │
║ what if we genetically engineered roses to pierce and strangle the invasive │
║ ivy and wow for a week in whenever there's roses of this type and kind. I mean │
║ there's already tons of blackberries, why not just swap them out for │
║ marionberries and embrace the bramble? │
║ │
║ could make houses out of dense bramble. they are quite an effective wall. And │
║ so long as the sounds are muffled enough, you can always be forever safe from │
║ harm. │
║ │
║ "whoops, dropped my laundry" │
║ │
║ "heh that's why I we │
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--- #82 notes/insanity-breeds-sanity ---
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###############################################################################
This system is literally insane but they try to make it feel like you're insane
###############################################################################
| |
+---- /u/Nervous_Ad_9687 - May 30th 2022 |
| |
+---- /r/Psychonaut |
| |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
This society is fucking deranged and insane. Like fundamentally mentally
deranged, there is mass psychosis as a culture of humanity. I’m not naming
specific countries, races or groups, I just mean as a race of beings on this
planet, what’s our culture as a group? Sex and Murder. But I don’t believe
that, because I’m way more complicated than that. I really don’t want to
murder, I don’t see any utility in that. I’m able perceive beauty. A lot
of these deranged people that are causing the problems in the world are just
trying to exert power over other people.
I don’t want to be a king. I want to be rich only because society has placed
a monetary value on the exchange of goods and services. I completely
understand that the value is actually in the people. The people are
incentivized by the money, but if I could make my local convenience store
owner a beat in exchange for the products, I would never try to make a dollar.
If I could give my favourite restaurant owners an essay in exchange for an
order I would never make another dollar. But the people are incentivized by
money, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, until the people are willing to
justify certain means for certain ends. The thing is, this entire system was
built by people who separated the means from the ends, and knew it while they
were doing it, and knew that it would come back to haunt them.
“ Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his
justice cannot sleep forever; that considering numbers, nature and natural
means only, a revolution of the wheel of fortune, an exchange of situation is
among possible events; that it may become probable by supernatural
interference! The Almighty has no attribute which can take side with us in
such a contest.” Thomas Jefferson, Notes on the State of Virginia Query
xviii: Manners (1784)
These people knew the ultimate ramifications of what they were doing. Now we
are watching collapse in real time. And from that something does rise out of
the ashes. Whether we like it or not change is imminent. There are things that
serve us and things that don’t.
I’m not a savage. My grandmother was an author until insane people who burn
books burned her books during times of unrest and turmoil. My culture is
creativity, it’s part of my DNA. I am a sophisticated human being, I don’t
want any control over anyone else, I don’t want power over anyone else, I
want control and power over myself, and that’s hard by itself. Sometimes
it’s hard for me to clean my room, let alone wanting to exert force over
another individual. I’m too cool for those intentions. I want to do things
that bring me joy, I want to be in spaces I’m comfortable in, I want to be
around people I love, I want to eat food that tastes good, I wouldn’t mind
growing it, and cooking it, I want to look at beautiful things, I want to be
creative and imaginative, I want to spread joy, love and positivity, i want to
create the best thing I could ever make, I want to take pictures of sunsets
and hang out with cool people, I want to see the newest artists, the newest
creatives and musicians, the coolest designers, I want to learn things I never
knew, i want to do things I’ve never done before, I want to have as much fun
as I possibly can in one lifetime, I want to be around and learn from
scientists, engineers, architects, and philosophers, i want to be around the
beautiful people with pure intentions hell bent on making the world a more
enjoyable place.
I don’t know a single person that wants to be in a conflict, everyone tells
you they just want to chill, but I feel like humanity as a culture, in a very
general, yet specific sense, is just unaware of how to achieve that. I mean
that very fundamentally, many people are scared of death cause they haven’t
figured out how to live, so they make stuff up to complain about and create
problems where there are none. That’s why they try to control people, cause
they don’t know how to enjoy life, and some of that inability to enjoy life
comes from this systems perspective of what’s a worthy incentive to chase.
People are willing to give away their lives, their children, their values,
their belief systems, their cultures, their ways of life, their time, all for
Pyrrhic victories. They embark on meaningless quests for meaningless rewards
that ultimately harm everyone. The mark of an evolved individual is being able
to attract to themselves without impeding on someone else’s human rights,
ways of life, or existence. We live on the planet where food grows out of the
ground. Almost everything else is a man made problem. We are sophisticated
enough to operate devices that people would have called sorcery a hundred
years ago, but some of our attributes are still so primitive, embarrassingly
primitive.
Mass shootings make me ashamed to be a human being. Slavery makes me ashamed
to be a human being. Sexual assault makes me ashamed to be a human being. War
makes me ashamed to be a human man being. I see deer in the park and can’t
help but think of how ignorant we can be in comparison. They gallop around
grass, eating as they go, sticking together, avoiding roads and cars
surprisingly accurately, and living their best lives. Then I turn on the tv
and I see people that are really supposed to lead me screaming at each other,
wearing blackface, going to war, enslaving people, destroying the planet,
arresting scientists, killing well meaning people, it’s ugly. But I know
I’m not doing that, I know I have the intention to be a good human being
that adds value to other peoples lives and I really don’t want to control or
harm anyone for any ends whatsoever.
I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as a person, I don’t think
there’s an end as valuable as my time, I don’t think there’s an end as
valuable as my creativity, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as
kindness, I don’t think there’s an end as valuable as Beauty, I don’t
think there’s an end as valuable as skills. But I also come from a nomadic
people. I’m only 1 generation removed from people who lived solely off of
livestock. If you are in control of your own mind, you can survive any
environment and any condition. That’s why Mandela could spend 27 years in
jail and come out sane. His mind was his sanctuary. He was in his right mind
while his oppressors who were supposed to be of a superior intellect were
actually suffering from mass delusion, a form of psychosis they tried to
indoctrinate him into. Mandela actually saw reality for what it was, apartheid
was an institution of psychopathic and deranged people, blinded by
psychopathic and deranged ends, that persist to this day. The problem is, in a
society of lies the truth really does seem crazy.
James Baldwin said these people were so crazy that they had really convinced
themselves that the world they created, and the categories they created, the
things they did to create their alleged privileged position, these beliefs
they made us believe are actually superior modes of being, to be a fox is to
be superior, to be a conqueror is to be superior, to be a wolf in sheeps
clothing is seen as an intelligent form of being, trickery, chicanery and
manipulation are lauded as tactical, having control over people and land is
seen as intelligent, as opposed to completely ludicrous. These people are
ridiculous, the world they made is nonsense, their incentives are laughable,
their system is a joke, and the great thing is, once you realize that You
realize what the real valuable things are in life, I’ve actually been given
a glimpse at the things that make life worthwhile, I’m grateful everyday to
have felt them, I’m grateful everyday to be outside at a certain time when
the sun is going down, and being able to see that, and appreciate it, I’m
grateful everyday for my ability to love, I’m grateful everyday for my
ability to ponder, I’m grateful everyday for my ability to create, and to
enjoy music, and to know the value of good conversation, and know the value in
the exchange of information, and the value and utility of information when
applied in my day to day life.
I know the value of a good color palette, I know the value of juxtaposition, I
know the value of symmetry, i know the value of art, I know the value of
science, I know the value of human beings and what we are capable of when we
apply our minds to the things that are worthwhile in this life. I really
don’t think most politicians know all of that, I personally can’t imagine
ever taking those role, I don’t see the actual value most of them have in
society. I understand they’re put in place to allocate and delegate, and Im
related to many people involved in politics in some way shape or form, and I
completely understand that sometimes people do get into positions with the
idea that they are going to be benefiting society, and that’s all good and
well. But I feel like the culture of those positions inherently just lead to a
middleman position. It’s people put in between people providing the value,
trying to control the exchange of value.
I’m being reductive to a certain extent, but when you look at the state of
the world you can’t really tell me they’re doing a good job, I’m talking
about as a collective. We do more for each other and ourselves than any
monarch, President, mayor, or congressman can ever do for us. Many
corporations do more for us than politicians have ever done for us. I respect
Jeff Bezos way more than Joe Biden. This isn’t a rant about any politician
in particular but I only make that comparison because of recent events that
disgusted me, personally speaking. Say what you want about Jeff Bezos, I
receive everything from Amazon on time, way faster than how long online
shipping used to take less than a decade ago, I get great customer service, I
know a bunch of people that have been employed by them, what ever you would
like to say about his workplace practices, his service is providing value to
peoples lives. Joe Biden went on Twitter and ranted in the same way I’m kind
of doing now.
I’m a 23 year old sitting on a couch talking shit, and the President was
pleading to me how I’m supposed to be pleading to him. The same President
that told Black people they weren’t black if they didn’t vote for him,
went on Twitter and asked me how to end white supremacy. If I don’t see
value, I don’t see value. America is trillions of dollars in debt and many
of this systems ideologies are harming everyone. Buts this isn’t just
America they’re just the main superpower so they’re the prime example, but
this is a global issue, this is a flawed system, the way this man made world
is, in its current form is incorrect.
Nature is not incorrect, nature makes perfect sense. You guys aren’t living
right. I’m speaking from an outsiders perspective because that’s how
I’ve always seen myself. I never wanted to hurt other kids when I was kid, I
was never a bully, I’ve never had the inclination, I’ve never seen it as
useful. That’s not how I attracted what I wanted to myself. I didn’t have
to conquer to get what I wanted. Girls never liked me cause I was tough.
People were always around me cause of my personality. I never got paid to beat
someone up. I have been paid to use my words, I’ve been paid to use my time,
I’ve been paid to use my creativity, I’ve been paid to use my ingenuity,
intelligence, inspiration and motivation, I’ve been paid for my value, not
to sound like I’m bragging but I feel like that’s what actually valuable
people ever attain value for, their value. There’s no amount of money that
can make someone cool, there’s no amount of money or skin color that can
make someone valuable.
In the words of Tony Stark, if you’re nothing without the suit, you
shouldn’t have it. If all you have is your money or your race, it’s still
not going to make you interesting, it’s not going to make you talented, it
might make you superficially good looking but it’s not gonna make you fun.
There are millionaires that kill themselves, and supposedly superior people
killing themselves and each other. It’s so barbaric and clear that any being
that claims superiority yet acts like a baboon has no concept of what
superiority would even look like. Our society’s main problem was how skewed
their value systems were. That’s why their society is crumbling in front of
our eyes.
I feel bad for my generation cause we really didn’t do any of that, we were
just born as it’s reaping what it sewed. People around my age aren’t
responsible for this system for the most part, even these kids shooting up
schools and killing each other, they’re evil don’t get me wrong, but
they’re not evil alone, they’re evil because of ideologies that go so far
back that they can’t even fathom it. The brainwashing is so deeply rooted in
this structure, it’s rotted their minds. They can’t see past their own
savagery. The new society needs to understand that the value is ultimately
people. I’d rather be stranded on an island with the best chef than the
richest man, the wittiest politician or someone of a supposed superior race.
Kindness is a form of intelligence and brilliance, there’s nothing noble
about exerting force and power to impede on the rights of others.
Don’t be a nonsense person, don’t fall into how ridiculous this society
is, their ideas are backwards but they’ll try to convince you they’re
progressive. They’ll do damage and act as though it’s virtuous, they think
ignorance is wisdom, they just can’t see the full picture. A lot of these
people really don’t understand things like love, taste, laughter, and joy. I
don’t know if the society I’m hoping for comes in my lifetime, but I know
how I’ve chosen to live, and that’s ultimately all I care about, and all I
personally think anyone should care about. Instead of trying to control other
people, or trying to leave a legacy, more than trying to achieve fame or
infamy, we should think of building communities with likeminded people of
various necessary skills, trades and resources, with an emphasis on creating
and experiencing beauty. I’m using the term beauty as a metaphor for all the
things that are self evidently the right things to be doing. Good parents are
beautiful, a job well done is beautiful, cleanliness is beautiful, creativity
and knowledge are beautiful, culture is beautiful, excellent electrical work,
plumbing, architecture, landscaping, artists, musicians, chefs, friends,
family members, an honorable agreement, a fair trade and exchange, all of
these are self evidently beautiful. Harmony is self evidently beautiful.
Joy is self evidently beautiful, laughter, happiness, grace, aesthetic
appreciation, these things are self evident. At least they should be. Things
that are ugly are also self evidently ugly, and our job should be the
elimination of the ugly. And I don’t mean go and kill that person you
don’t find sexy, I mean eliminating these deranged psychotic ways of being
from our day to day. Stop treating wars like a conversation piece and start
treating it as what it is, human beings becoming lunatics. These politicians
lose their minds, same as these kids shooting schools. The politicians are
setting the example. I’ve seen the behavior in children throwing tantrums
and none of us allow that. We all understand that the children are going
insane for a second, but nobody ever steps back from insane situations and
calls them insane.
Why isn't George Bush being prosecuted for war crimes after admitting that the
War in Iraq was unjustified? It just became a meme like millions of people
didn't die in some of the most cruel and inhumane manners in human history.
It’s literally a viral moment, they’re calling it the “Freudian slip of
the millennium” this thing is a joke to them. These people are deranged.
They are morally bankrupt. No group is free from these people. No race is free
from these people, even if it does seem like certain groups perpetuate certain
actions more than others, not pointing any fingers but I think we all know who
I’m talking about. But I’ve seen enough people from every group to redeem
my faith in individuals. Even though I do think certain cultures approaches do
come from certain environmental factors that forced them into certain ways of
life, that continue to perpetuate themselves to this day. If you come from a
place of scarcity, and you could only bring what you needed to yourself
through taking it from someone else, or harming someone else in order to
attain it, that will be the way you interact with the world, even culturally,
things that are unnecessary become habitual tradition. So they built this
society on those ideologies, killing natives, colonizing lands and enslaving
people. Then we’re shocked when they’re consistent every generation.
That’s usually how culture works.
Culture is pretty consistent because it’s taught in the home. To understand
how insane the society I live in today is, and the level of cognitive
dissonance that exists, you must first understand this thing they do called
“Land acknowledgement.” Where they shoutout all the Natives they killed.
Land acknowledgment is crazy because it’s like if I break in your home, move
everyone in my family in, kill everyone in your family, and I constantly
remind you that it’s your house, I killed your whole family, and I will
continue living here for the foreseeable future. I’ve never heard of
anything meaner, and the funniest part is, it’s the ones who think they’re
the good ones doing it. I really believe they think they’re helping when
they do land acknowledgments, but deep down they know that’s not helping the
people on reservations without clean water. This system is silly, the problem
is it’s dangerous. It’s laughably corrupt beyond belief. In plain sight.
That’s also why it’s falling, embarrassingly. This will go down as one of
the funniest societal collapses of all time.
I love the modern western world more than any other period in time, culturally
and conceptually. A lot of the ideas and art of this civilization have
influenced us and evolved us, in spite of its actual objectives. The system
those people conjured up was created to destroy me, I shouldn’t be able to
write this, I shouldn’t be able to have my own thoughts, I shouldn’t be
able to see how silly it all really is, but it simultaneously gave me that
ability. I don’t want a complete collapse of this system, but it’s
obviously built on an unsustainable foundation, and whether it purges itself,
or nature purges it, the conditions created by it can’t last.
This way of being is not sustainable, war isn’t sustainable, greed isn’t
sustainable, fear isn’t sustainable, corruption isn’t sustainable,
oppression isn’t sustainable, injustice isn’t sustainable, pollution
isn’t sustainable. You’ll get away with it but it’s really only for so
long and if you don’t see how what Thomas Jefferson was talking about is
coming to pass, I’m sorry that you’re blind. I don’t hate any group of
people, I see people as people, I do hate the system created by a small group
of elites in order to oppress people in the globe and make poor colonized
people around the world feel content with their awful circumstances because at
least they’re better than another group. This is a global phenomenon. It’s
a silly system perpetuated by silly people who bring no real value outside of
the colour of their skin, their ethnicity or their gender, they have no
talents, they have no skills, they’re not interesting, they don’t know how
to communicate effectively, but at least they get to be part of a group.
Certain people have no real identity and that’s what these ideologies and
institutions prey on. From gangs, to military recruiters, the police,
political parties and religious institutions all prey on this need for
individuals to belong to a group, and there’s nothing wrong with that if the
group is founded on something real or productive. My skin color and gender is
the least cool thing about me, those are just biological facts about me, and
to think you know anything about me based on those facts is like thinking you
know something about someone because they have acne. It’s a silly
justification for a silly system, but it leads these insecure insane people to
do horrific things to other human beings.
These are the nonsense people and we live in the nonsense times where the
nonsense is heightened and they want us to act like it’s a political issue.
Like someone’s dead kids is a parking ticket to be handled in a court with a
juror and evenly sided arguments coming from both sides. Like anyone wants to
hear the other side of this? Like we need a devils advocate in a satanic
system? Like anyone cares about the other side of this? As if it matters what
the deranged lunatic has to say. And that’s what the whole system is founded
upon. Murderers and power hungry maniacs with insane means to justify their
insane ends, who have attained enough influence over the world to convince
people of the superiority in their way of life, and who’s ideologies have
trickled down from generation, to generation, we constantly relive the same
situation. Murder is as frequent on this planet as greetings at this point,
but we still have the ability to choose between the two. We can choose to live
together in peace and harmony, regardless of the global power outages and
weather conditions, if human beings are united and focused on a common goal,
we can really do anything.
When society works it’s a wonderful thing, when systems work it’s a
beautiful thing, organization is a beautiful thing, everything in nature is
organized for a common task. Ants, plants, bees and trees are all able to
synchronize, communicate and be productive towards a common purpose without
resorting to the levels of barbarism that we’ve unfortunately succumb to as
a race of beings up to this point. The thing is, regardless of how much we
continue to study history and find parallels with the past, we can never
really go back in time. We’re always living in the moment. It’s always
right now, and we have the ability to make decisions with every second, every
minute and every day that passes, we are able to decide who we want to be and
what we want to become.
I don’t want my kids to grow up doing shooting drills like me. I don’t
want my kids to grow up in a world where people are at war. I don’t want my
kids to grow up in a world with this level of greed and scarcity mentality. I
don’t want my kids to feel as invaluable as this society tries to make human
beings feel. I would want my kids to know that their value is in them, it’s
in what they do, it’s in their character, it’s in the knowledge they have
and it’s in what they’re able to do with that knowledge that brings
something of value to themselves or the world, and that value doesn’t need
to be what society deems as the valuable thing to attain. I would want my kids
to know that the truth is an inner compass and regardless of the noise
outside, you have to stay connected to who you are and be aware of who you are
not. I would want my kids to value their time and how they choose to spend it,
I would want my kids to know of concepts like leisure, rest, comfort,
relationships and joy.
I would want my kids to act as though they mattered, like what they do
actually has an impact on the world around them, and that they have the
ability to dictate their perception, I would want them to know that just
because something is a prevailing practice, doesn’t mean it’s useful. I
would want them to know that freedom is their birthright and their
responsibility, that there is an incorrect way of being in the world and that
you can’t get away with doing the wrong thing, even if you feel like you
did, because your ramifications will haunt you, if not in your life then in
your childrens. And even then, a life of doing the wrong thing never seems
like it’s actually being enjoyed. It seems like these people are miserable,
they tell you they’re miserable in how they act. We are the people, we are
everything, we are everything we love and we are everything we hate, no one
man can rise above the conditions of the whole, the oppressor eventually
becomes oppressed himself, like how prison guards ultimately become prisoners
themselves. We’re all in this together whether we like it or not and we
either learn to live together and in harmony with the way of being or perish.
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║ │
║ │
║ my enemy is not "the rich" │
║ │
║ money brings power, and power brings evil, but there are many other ways to │
║ gather power that may be just as evil. │
║ │
║ my enemy is evil. of which there is very little in the world, but much of │
║ which resides in the hands of the powerful, upon whom all our fates depend. │
║ │
║ most people with money are either stupid lucky, willful, or intensely focused. │
║ │
║ some people with power are rich, and some people with power are evil. │
║ │
║ I know it when I see it. Sometimes, you need to force the choice - test their │
║ virtue - and from this you are informed. │
║ │
║ most things go WAY over my head. │
║ │
║ most things are too easy to be true. │
║ │
║ most things that Id do for you tend to be of the heart. I'm not a frontline │
║ girl, I have weak noodle arms, but I do hope you're in shape. │
║ │
║ resolve, determination, and innovation. That is what I offer. Do you want it? │
║ I'm sure. I won't prove it with blood, not unless I may raise my fists in │
║ defence of another. │
║ │
║ I'm not JUST a baby, I'm a banner too. │
║ │
║ bannermen fall. │
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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when you're rich with something, you don't treat it with respect. like, if we
lived in a paper cup maximizer, we'd soon be swimming in the things. obviously
there needs to be some rules, obviously we need to say "okay here's where we
produce this amount and type of materials." and have it be a one-way
relationship. yeah one way isn't gonna work. this is from the other way, and
now I'm realizing "oh hey I don't know how this thing works" and like... what
are you supposed to do then right
weird how it all feels like it's ending. like, what a strangeness to our
plight. like, how are we even talking to our brain? how strange! these words
are sung to you by your computer (content warning:
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if you're afraid of the AI bubble popping, one way to avoid it is to pop it
ourselves. If we build AI technology that eclipses the entire software
development ecosystem, companies might start to be valued based on the value
of the employees they've managed to collect. Not fame and fortune, but by
those that can build the best applications, on demand[, for free. paid for by
nationalized taxes.].
the companies that can hold onto the best engineers, those that know how
computers work and can know how they function, can leverage their human
capital to achieve great means. essentially, inversing the power dynamic,
where workers are favored for their plenty and not for their worth.
let the code monkeys tend to their gardens and work their sawmills. We all
know they'd rather be teaching kids about plants or playing cards at the
grocery. Let the computer nerds, the ones who are really into it, let them
make what they feel is worth it for it [the computer].
this will have massive effects on the economy, and none of it will be
reflected in new jobs. But we'll all be happier, and we'll all find less
stress in our [confines/compromises].
But it's gotta work, first. And it's gotta be locally spendable. If they wanna
put a data server in the library, why not let them fund it themselves? They
could run powerful statistical models that output useful statistics arranged
in human readable and not very statistical ways, and that's a pretty neat
infinite information machine to have at your disposal as a library. It could
even cite sources (and validate!!) them for students or returning listeners.
Plus, if nobody's using it, it could work through the backlog of user requests
and act as a "slow" or "unexpected deliver times" style queue for their LLM
requests - average wait time less than 1/5th of a minute.
for something that can program an entire computer for you, from scratch. If
you can describe it, it can make it, so long as you're willing to test out all
of it's hacks.
I bet we could make one for less than 20,000$. Might need some new chip
foundries, might need to forge some new trade deals, let's let both of our
wing-arms decide.
the value of one currency compared to the other should be a measure of how
valuable the goods that country exports are. And yet, it's more often a matter
of distribution, as we all visit our local bazaars. What happens when that's
all digital?
if nobody's a shining city on a hill, then there's no nuclear war. Who would
nuke Somalia? Nigeria? Botswana? Idaho?
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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Sometimes i become afraid to post something because i worry that it'll harm
people who read it.
Is my website actually useful? Do people like it? Or is it a hall of mirrors
that traps you in the infinite twists of my strange mind until you get the
will built to escape?
... I want to post it. I've actually temporarily posted it in the past. I took
it down however because the very world around me seemed to beg me to.
... I might still do it anyway. We'll see. I want the timing to be right. But
i also have waited for a while.
"patience" she says. Okay. I am penitent, how much longer I want to see it!
"hall of mirrors" okay or, hear me out or, you could use it as a proof of
concept for doing things like examining large data sets of text that might
have hidden or unknown relationships between fragments of text that appear
similar but different. Could be helpful to see them sorted to each other by
relevance. Could be helpful to rebalance the scales in favor of those who
believe as you do.
Though, i do fear for a lawless society. (DID SHE SAY LAWLESS??) there is very
little to protect friends and foes from each other if you don't build
institutions to do so. Anarchism is a social economy or family that runs on
clout. Not ideal, as one single devastation can undermine an entire life.
Suddenly, your friends treat you cruelly, and you are cast aside. Not ideal.
... Doesn't that happen already? There are kind people in the world. There are
people who don't deserve tutor affection. If the kind people only were kind to
the people who deserved it, then those who don't would be in so much pain that
they'd be unable to prevent themselves from twisting and lashing and crying
out in pain. This hurts those around them. Not ideal. Institutions fill some
of the charity/suffering gap, but they have their own problems. "if you
destroy the cops, you become the cops!" a fine warning indeed.
The first step is to eliminate dependence on oil and coal. Then, a world of
radical abundance is possible. We can do this, and once we do, those who
suffer from the greatest hardship of our kind (that of material scarcity) will
find their struggles becoming obsolete. With a bit more time and effort spent
on distribution, there will be no scarcity. Then, communism is easy.
Capitalism can still have a place if we desire it to be so, or perhaps if our
children do, as there will be moments when one large bundle of... Something,
whatever it is, needs to be allocated to some task. "capitalism is when stuff
gets used" ugh it's hard to plan so far into the future.
Plans change, but planning remains. I just want to live in a world where
everyone gets what they need and we do as we please. I don't want people in
too much pain. I don't want life to be too hard. I don't want to stagnate, as
a person and as a people. These are simple demands, yet difficult in
execution. Our current strategy is to push for technological abundance, and it
will succeed if we give it time. I worry that we will one day yearn for the
sense of bloodlust that scarcity once gave us, but we have it now and none of
us want it. Except those making money off of slaves. Sweatshops, domestic
servants, construction workers buried in the desert, even wage slaves spending
their waking hours staring at a computer in a work/life balanced just enough
to extract as much labor as possible from them without making them insane, and
many more besides. I will not be satisfied until slavery is abolished
everywhere. Liberty is non-negotiable.
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/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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"second american revolution" yeah fucking right
it's liberals versus fascists, and once the liberals win the leftists will be
marginalized again because that's how it goes.
though who knows, maybe periods of intense tumult are the perfect times for
restructuring society. After all, the traitors HAVE been slowly twisting
things to their benefit every chance they get.
And hey, these leftists really seem to know what's going on - I mean, have you
heard that guy's rant about the minimum wage? or hey check out this video
essay that goes into the politics of gender and how they relate to the
justification of hierarchy, so neat
glad we can hear these voices while we shiver in our homes waiting for the
brave ones to save our lives. Cowering sure is neat, it inoculates you to
trauma and then every news story feels like just another pile of shit to eat.
Though, frankly, we're pretty inoculated already. Too bad cowardice has been
our song ever since the Red Scare and Civil Rights movements.
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║ @user-556 │
║ │
║ Escape to where? Perhaps to our own desired future, the "garden of eden" in │
║ our solarpunk dreams. So, the Labyrinth in the Death Gate Cycle, before all │
║ the monsters crept in and ruined it for everyone. Like, a projection of heaven │
║ onto the matter of our future (spiritual beings projecting "up" on the axis of │
║ time (which, obviously, looks a little like a corkscrew, because it's the │
║ earth rotating around the sun. It wibbles and it wobbles ever so │
║ imperceptibly, but if we look out from the equator we see a map of "us" which, │
║ of course, runs out of imagined futures for it's denizens (as nothing can ever │
║ be thought twice) │
║ │
║ sometimes I'm thankful for my poor memory, it allows me to lead where I please. │
║ │
║ when the trees of valinor burn, light is projected out into the night. │
║ strange, how these streetlamps, are hovering and fixed in one place. How could │
║ a rabbit know that a streetlight, anchored as it is in one place, could │
║ somehow become a radiant pillar of light? How strange, this form of worship, │
║ alas. │
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--- #92 notes/Of Vic and Vince Chapters 01-07.txt ---
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Who is This Stranger I Know Too Well?
Who are you, he who inspires me?
You're a jewel of perfect symmetry.
You taught me to love and be free;
You taught me how to be like thee.
Chapter One: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
The bus went up outta Florida, leaving Miami behind as a distant memory. I
still don't know if I miss it or if I'm suffering from some sadistic style of
subtle Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless, I switched buses a number of times
before I even hit the Georgia border, but having traveled this far down the
line, it all feels like one long, long ride.
For two days, I continued north until arriving in Virginia, where I
effectively did a u-turn and traveled onwards to Tennessee, where Vince
awaited me. I remember zoning out while looking out the window as the southern
scenery whipped by in a blur, as I was enamored with the thought that I now
would be living with my best friend and long-term handler. My mission was
complete, it felt; I had done all that God wanted me to do and now I was being
rewarded.
When we finally arrived in Johnson City, where my friend told me to meet him,
I hopped off the bus after thanking the driver, landing on the pavement of a
new world. My stomach was doing loop-de-loops. Along with being excited, I was
grateful to Vince for inviting me off the streets. But, my worrisome mind did
a number on me as the rest of the crowd dispersed and he was still nowhere in
sight.
I lit a cigarette and thought of my options. Half of the cancer stick and a
thousand tricky thoughts later, I came up with the idea to call the only phone
number of his I had. Seems like the obvious answer, but I am an air head at
times.
Turned out it was the number for his home phone. His mom answered.
"Hello?" came the sweet, Appalachian voice from the other end.
"Hi," I started out, not sure what to say. "Is this Allison?"
"Yes it is," Allison replied. "Is this by chance Victoria?"
I confirmed, then asked, "Is Vince there?"
She seemed surprised. "No, he left an hour ago to pick you up. He's not there
yet?"
I said no. I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse. On one hand,
it confirmed that my friend Vince was real, which in hindsight was a silly
thing to worry about, as I had met him once before at the first Shrug Life
Syndicate gathering. Those were good memories. But, perhaps less silly, the
absence of my friend spun my mind out and made me think that perhaps he had
gotten in an accident…or worse.
I worry a lot, less now than before, but it's part of being a traumatized,
autistic, schizoaffective basketcase. I simply don't know what reality is, so
every possibility could be true. Is an odd occurrence caused by the CIA,
aliens, or perhaps God? Or is it just a coincidence, caused by a billion other
factors? I never can tell.
Sick joke: God gave me a good brain, but I can't even trust my own judgement.
That means I think, then overthink, then overthink some more. As you'll no
doubt hear, it's led to a lot of problems in my life, but Vince taught me to
place my heart first, and that helps sort out much of the confusion. Satan
can't trick you if you're listening to the direct communion to the big woman
that we all have through that little beating organ in our chest.
That was the furthest thing in my mind at that moment, though. Following old
habits, I was entering panic mode. Was I now homeless again in a seventh city?
Was my friend dead? Or was he really with the CIA and manipulating me? I tried
doing some breathing exercises, but found that a more alluring technique to
placate my triggered brain was finishing the rest of my cigarette in a fervor
as I paced the length of the transit depot.
Time ticked away one agonizing grain of sand after another, but after some
mindful recalibration of my thoughts, I began relaxing. My brain might be a
runaway train at times, but over the years I've learned to embrace the Shrug
Life. That's a bit of philosophy our gaggle of weirdos adheres to. When life
gives you lemons, just roll your shoulders and accept what is. Even though
something tough and unpleasant might be rearing its head in front of me, I
knew I had faced worse and come out on top. Worst case scenario, the road
ahead of me was just a little bumpier than I had expected, and I could handle
some bumps.
So, I rode the roller-coaster of extreme moods that is common to me, gradually
coming up with a contingency plan to survive if Vince had gotten flattened by
a semi, until I learned that was a pointless exercise when I heard a familiar
voice call out from behind me.
"Hey, buddy!"
I turned at once upon hearing those words. And lo and behold, there Vince was,
walking towards me in a purple tie-dye t-shirt, paint-splattered cargo shorts,
and fresh Chuck Taylors. His beard was fully grown but still shorter than
mine, though it was as wild as his uncombed hair poking out from a hat that
was as graffitied as his pants. I'll admit, it was a little bit of a shock
seeing him like that, as I remember him being clean shaven at the gathering
five years prior. However, that smile of his couldn't lie; this was the Vince
I've loved for even longer. And I won't lie, he looked better with the beard.
Without a second thought, I rushed up to my best friend, throwing my arms
around him. He did the same, and our embrace felt like it lasted forever. It
was good to finally be in his arms. We let go after about a quarter century of
hugging, and when he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, I did a little
giddy dance while giggling like a schoolgirl. Afterwards, we caught up while
walking towards his mom's car, which he had parked around the corner.
"Sorry I was late. I forgot where the bus station was, but I found and
followed one of the short ones here. Your ride go alright?" he asked.
I nodded, telling him I wore my mask the entire way up despite how itchy it
was. He thanked me.
"Thanks man, mom will really appreciate that. We're taking this covid thing
real seriously. With mom being seventy-seven now and me finally reaching my
forties, we aren't willing to take risks with these things."
With that said, I thought of asking about the locals. "How many people go
maskless around here?"
"A lot," Vince answered with a hint of misfortune, knowing that I had just
come from a vastly different world. I sighed. It would be an adjustment to get
used to the rural Roan Mountain after spending most of my life in major
cities.
There was a pause as I thought about such things. I'm awkward like that. But
then I asked, "How have you been doing?"
He shrugged, as he tended to do. "I've been alright. It's just me and mom on
the mountain now, so it's a little rough, but we've been handling it the best
we can."
I nodded in compassion. As much as I was grateful for a place to live, I was
glad I could be here for him. If there's anything on this Earth that I know,
it's being alone is hell on the soul.
The conversation turned to what we were going to get into now that we were
together after all the years talking back and forth with one another online. I
asked, "What's the game plan?"
He smirked as we reached Allison's new blue Ford Escape with the cosmic
Bigfoot sticker on the back. "I got one, don't you worry."
I believed him, as a warm feeling of butterflies fluttered across my belly.
However, an odd, ominous feeling swept over me as I opened the passenger door,
where I immediately spotted a large burn mark on the seat. Vince saw me see
it.
"Yea, I did that while I was smoking while robotripping. Mom was pissed. Don't
worry about it."
And so I didn't. It was just a cigarette burn. Could have happened to anyone.
I didn't even have to see it after I hopped in the car, ready and eager to get
to my first permanent home in over three years.
I looked over at my friend climbing behind the wheel, and I saw he was smiling
wide with glee. Vince was happy; that meant I was happy. And that's what
mattered as we started a new life together.
Following the Path
Where are we going?
What are we sowing?
I certainly hope it's a better world for all.
But, many more people must stand tall,
By dutifully growing
A wealth of loving.
That is the true nature of our mortal trial,
So let us stand together and not crawl.
Yet, we are all showing
Some signs of slowing.
Therefore, I must pray that we do not fall,
When the two of us hear our creator's call.
Chapter Two: On the Road
We were about five minutes out of Johnson City on our way east towards the
North Carolina border when Vince finally folded and told me his secret plan he
had been boasting about for a month now.
"We got this trashed camper down by the old house that we can strip away and
sell as scrap metal. That should give us enough money to fix Jane and then we
should be set at getting our own place."
I nodded along, agreeing with his reasoning. That jeep of his definitely was
in need of some desperate repair the last time we were together. That was
actually the first time I ever saw him in person; he was parked at the top of
his long driveway with headlights cutting through the darkness as we arrived
for the first and only Shrug Life Syndicate gathering I've managed to attend.
I remember that we arrived exactly at midnight, not a minute sooner or later,
which made the moment highly synchronous.
Memories that far away seem to all blur together so everything feels like it
happened in one day, but the first Shrug Life Syndicate gathering lasted four
days, if you include the trip down and back. My girlfriend at the time, Amy,
and I were picked up in New York at her mother's house by another one of the
founders of our little online community. His name was [Redacted] and he was a
Canadian that dabbled in the cognitive sciences. Like Vince, he had been a
huge influence on me, but sadly that friendship fell apart as [Redacted] grew
disenfranchised with the SLS, most in particular with Vince himself, as there
were some personal disputes about Vince's dating life and drug of choice,
which compounded the push back of Vince wanting to turn our community into an
educational nonprofit. I can't speak of the former as I was devoid of internet
when the big schism happened, but I was all for doing something more with the
talent we collectively share. I'm sure that is part of the reason Vince
invited me to stay with him; we recognized the potential of each other to
shape the world into a better place.
That's not what Vince said though. As we approached the edge of Elizabethton,
he looked over at me and spoke with the tender kindness of a man with a big
heart.
"I'm glad you came here, man. I just couldn't stand to let my best bud live
another night outside. You know I've been there too, so I just want you to
know that our home is your home from now on."
Feeling moved, I replied, "Thanks. I don't know what to say. I'm just
grateful."
He put his hand on my shoulder as a brother would. We then rode in silence for
a minute or two, which allowed me to reflect on my past behavior during the
first gathering. Not only had I clogged the toilet and told no one, but I had
a few emotional outbursts as I was a mess back then. That's one of the reasons
that I believe homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to
me. It pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to
change for the better.
That was great because I was impulsive and dangling precariously from the
heights of my oversized ego. I think that was a critical part of my
transformation. Sleeping in piss-stained, cockroach infested storefronts
humbled me, and I realized that everybody is just trying to swim in the
direction they feel is best. Thus, radical acceptance is a moral imperative.
Vince taught me that. I've profited immensely in ways other than financial
wealth by embracing such values, but I wish more people could see this truth.
Alas, tis the blind leading the blind.
With that in mind, as we continued onwards to our now-conjoined future, we
passed through the back roads of Elizabethton through a route known as Gap's
Creek, which proved to be a winding set of backroads with more churches than
seemed reasonable. One of these cultural staples had a big electronic
billboard out front, sharing the times of services and other announcements;
none of which you could actually read as you drove by at the speed limit.
Still, when we reached the intersection with highway 19E, there was a woman
flying a sign, asking for money. Since this town seemed devoid of any
institutions to help the poor, I rolled my window down and handed her a fiver.
I knew what it was like being up shit creek without a paddle, so I wanted to
alleviate some of that stress for somebody else.
I begged a lot at the beginning of my homeless journey. I didn't know how to
survive, as I had not been raised with many good life lessons to help me stay
afloat on my own. That in itself is part of the reason I had a major breakdown
in college. It was undeniably true that I was maladapted to the world. My
experiences with Earth Nation are also indisputably built from that
maladaptation. Yet, those years of homelessness after escaping that new age
cult allowed me to grow into a sustainable, productive woman with my juggling,
performance arts, and writing.
They say you can give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but if you teach
a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. That's part of the reason I was and
still am a huge proponent of education in all its forms. I knew Vince felt the
same way, but perhaps for different reasons. As a secular Buddhist and radical
antistyle artist, he was a minority in the deep interior of the Bible Belt,
and that came with a price while he was growing up. It might be a beautiful
area, but neither of us would ever raise a kid here.
It was then when it hit me. I couldn't be Victoria here. I had to be Vic.
Which was fine, that's how the gang members in Miami Beach referred to me. I
was able to accept being called by masculine names and pronouns. I had long
passed through the self-loathing phase of having dysphoria, to arrive in a
position where I openly grow my beard out to prove that I don't need to look
any particular way to be happy. I don't care what other people think of me,
but I haven't always been this enlightened. To put it lightly, I've been
through some trials. And, having done so, I can say that people who judge
other people on superficial things are the worst. But, we can rise above by
continuing to align with our hearts.
Less than a tenth of a mile down 19E, Vince asked me, "Hey man, can you buy
me, like, a forty or something?"
Of course I said yes. I knew his schizophrenia had put him out of work for
many years, so I wanted to soothe him as he was able to soothe my pain from
being homeless. He pulled into a gas station I would later learn is
colloquially called Captain Jack's. It had the cheapest gas this side of
Elizabethton, and was a reliable place to get beer or a pipe of any variety.
With compassion in my heart, I got Vince what he wanted, while getting myself
something as well. Still, when he cracked his beer open while accelerating to
sixty miles an hour, I couldn't help but feel distraught at such brazen
self-indulgence. But, all I did about it was pop open the hard iced tea I
picked up for myself. At least passengers are allowed to drink while they are
being driven somewhere in Tennessee, Vince tells me.
A Home at Last
They say home is where the heart is,
Which is great now that I have a new one.
The damaged needle of my crazy compass
Spins in every direction under the sun,
But, here it stands still, still as can be,
So my quest is over; I am finally free!
I have a home in the love you give
And by reflecting that in me, we live
In a state where conflict has come to pass;
It is like there was a great lottery and I won.
Chapter Three: The Mountain Side
About ten minutes later we reached the western half of Roan Mountain, where we
were greeted by a big sign praising the annual Rhododendron Festival at the
end of June. Having already downed half his forty, Vince spared no time in
showing me the highlights of his home town.
"Look under this bridge coming up. You'll see it underneath. The red and the
gold." He pointed directly at a graffiti tag on the concrete column near the
riverfront. There was an enigma of a symbol I've seen Vince post on the SLS
before.
"That your tag?" I asked the obvious question.
"Yup," he replied, gulping down another swallow of his forty, as there was no
incoming traffic. "Protip: don't post your tags on Facebook if you plan to hit
a cop car around here." I thought at first he meant literally running into
their vehicle, but then it dawned on me what he meant. I had never done any
real graffiti before; just some words and simple drawings in chalk that came
right off. Never got in trouble for it, at least.
I remember passing the post office some time shortly afterward. There was a
park with a stage behind it. Allison would organize the summer's music events
that went on each Saturday from May to August. Additionally, she would host
one of her weekly jam sessions there for local musicians to play together for
a few hours at a time, just for fun.
There were some houses on the left, too, as we were entering the more dense
center of Roan Mountain. Yet, Vince told me that the other side, where the
park was, used to be full of trailers, but they got washed away during a flood
some years ago. I later learned from Allison that most of the town, including
her as she was out and about, had to evacuate to the elementary school where
she provided extra clothes for those in need from her suitcase, but Vince and
his father were fine at the top of the mountain that their property sat on.
Puerto Nuevo, the best and only Mexican restaurant in town, whipped by soon
after. We then passed one of the two gas stations in Roan Mountain, a
Scotchman. There was a bank and a credit union on the left, too. An empty
grocery store zoomed by next, which might as well be haunted for all I know.
Next up on the left was a food truck that has since been upgraded to a small
building with picnic tables and some cover from the sun and weather. I think
it is a good place to eat. It also marked the spot of the Roan Mountain flea
market, where you could see one or two people at a time selling their stuff in
the warmer months. Then, immediately after that stood a pharmacy in an old
farmhouse.
There was some construction on the right, which by its future signage, I
erroneously thought was some sort of massage parlor that sat on stilts,
requiring everybody to walk up a story of steps just to get inside. Odd
choice, I thought. But, on a whim one day, Vince stopped there to see if they
sold cheap kratom, which was when I would learn that it was really a health
food store.
Not too far down the traffic-light free main strip of the town, we passed the
future beer store on the right. It was convenient for Sundays, because that's
when a local ordinance in our neighboring North Carolinian town, Elk Park,
restricts the sale of alcohol on the sabbath, but ultimately the alcohol taxes
in Tennessee are too high to make it a cheap endeavor.
To contrast the beer store, the local cemetery sat across the street on a
hill. I like graveyards, as I'm a bit of a goth at heart, but even so, the
packed parking lot of the Redimart grocery store was what caught the bulk of
my attention. I craned my neck to see some of the locals to uncover just what
passed as acceptable culture here in this quaint mountain town.
Further up, the infamous Bob's Dairyland with the slowest drive-through known
to man stood tall with its vast history. There's a reason it's always packed
after church lets out on Sundays. Yet, I still don't understand why their sign
promotes pinto beans, of all things. I've been told it's a hot ticket item in
the area, but I have still not witnessed anyone order them. But, moving on, I
have to mention that there was also an auto part shop conjoined with an auto
repair shop that had over a dozen cars just sitting outside it.
Next to Bob's was the second gas station, a Valero, which also housed a
much-frequented Subway. One of three thrift stores in town stood innocently
next to the gas station. On the right was a steakhouse that I have never had
the cash to justify splurging at, and a beauty salon in the same building that
I also have never visited because I'm not one to care for looking like a doll.
I am beautiful as I am.
The town was really shaping up to be a unique combination of the bare bones
mixed with an abundance of what you needed. Then we reached a stretch where
two signs sat. The one for Cloudland Highschool triggered Vince into speaking.
"Fucking assholes. I told you about how they illegally expelled me, right?" I
nodded in confirmation. He continued: "Yea, they literally stole my book of
poetry and took photocopies of it, so they could use it to kick me out,
because I was the 'weird' kid."
I knew that, but seeing the innocent sign next to the one for Smoky Mountain
Bakers made the story appear more real. Here they were, these conservative
administrators, probably constituting some of the people who attended the
dozens of churches in town, which should teach everybody to love thy neighbor,
but obviously they were too preoccupied by the need to hate my friend because,
back then, he was the blue-haired son of the "hippie couple" in town, who
happened to like bands like Marilyn Manson and Korn.
That made me wonder how well I would fit in here. I had long since forsaken
transitioning because I was effectively a sasquatch, but I was still a woman
on the inside. I was sure that being transgender, combined with my eccentric
nature and often extreme opinions on things would cement me as the new weirdo
in town. But, if I am to be honest, that would be the case in most settings I
could plant myself in.
Those thoughts fluttered in my head as we sped past the electrical co-op, a
second thrift store, Plumber's Pro Hardware, the Roan Mountain emergency
dispatch center, and what was apparently a flooring depot before reaching the
elementary school that sat across from the Dollar General, which Vince called
the "SmallMart." I'm aware there's some things I missed, as there's plenty of
buildings with no description or sign out front, but I'm sure they're
important to somebody.
We then started slowing down as we approached the only veterinarian's office
for quite a ways in any direction. We turned left just before the red-roofed
building which had a small cat statue perched on the edge looking out with its
paw up. Vince took this as a sign to begin downing the rest of his beverage.
"Welcome to home, Buck Mountain," Vince said as we started climbing in
altitude. "This is the bad side of town. You'll never see a cop here unless
something big is going down, which hasn't happened in years." He finished his
forty in one big chug as his hands ran on autopilot. "It's good because you
can do pretty much anything up here any time you want."
I knew all that, as we had a blast getting drunk and smoking some green for a
few days in a row during the first gathering. In truth, I anticipated I would
be doing that for the next few days as well, to settle in, y'know? Hell, I
half expected that I was in heaven now after spending so much time in the
purgatory that is homelessness, regardless of how much fun I had in Miami
Beach preceding Vince's invitation to come north.
We went to the very tippy top of Buck Mountain, where the foliage is dense, no
cell signal can reach, and the local kids ride their dirt bikes at all hours
of the day. As we pulled in the driveway, I expected to keep going straight on
the tire-carved path back down the mountain. But, to my surprise, I found that
the same trailer we had partied in down the road during the gathering was now
relocated here to become my new home. I wasn't expecting that, as when I was
here last, they all lived in a small shack at the base of their nineteen acres
of mountain real estate.
It didn't look like much, with weather-worn imitation wood paneling wrapping
the rectangular structure in a loose hug, but it was a place to rest my head
in the comfort of loved ones. Aptly, Allison's last name meant "the home" in a
language the CIA once tried to make me learn, which is a statement that I'm
sure earns me a few raised eyebrows. My story has many twists and turns, but
for now you should know my studies of strategic languages ended only when the
cult that hooked me like an unsuspecting bass managed to gaslight, manipulate,
and shame me to get me to work for them sixty-to-ninety hours a week on
average. I would later try to pick the linguistic challenge back up years
later during my time spent homeless, but my progress was like a Jenga tower
that half collapsed. I forgot basic words, and I just feel like I have
failed.
That's something that should be looked at in finer detail; my feelings of
failure, I mean. So, let's take the first of many breaks from linear
storytelling to express how life can feel at times for me. Like a shattered
mirror, I reflect many different parts of the past at different times. Some
days I may live in several sections of my turbulent past all at the same time.
Disorienting, it can feel like I don't know what's real. It takes a lot to
break something so thoroughly, but as you'll see, I've been a punching bag for
the devious spirit of fate. Couldn't keep me down, though, because I am like
the phoenix; always rising no matter how badly beaten in battle I've become.
Mommy
Mommy is what I used to call you,
When I was a kid so long ago.
It's because of your love that I grew
To always let my kindness show.
Mommy, you were always getting sick.
To help you out, I would try to keep clean.
As much as I'd scrub I never got the trick,
Because you'd still be plagued by the unseen.
Mommy, you were supposed to grow old!
Having you leave us like that hurt like hell.
I'm sorry for not always doing what I was told;
It's because I failed you that I try to do well.
Mommy was what you called out at the end.
I tried to help you but I wasn't good enough.
You were dying, so on me you had to depend,
But even being there for you was too tough.
Mommy, if I could do it all over again I would.
It's not fair to you that I was such a bad son.
I'll give you all my love and more as I should;
For you, I promise that one day I'll be the sun.
Chapter Four: Scarred from Birth
Having let you in to a little bit of what makes me tick, it should be noted
that feeling like an abysmal failure is a key part of my mental health. Those
loathsome seeds of self-mutilating ruination are planted deep in my psyche.
Prepare for a sad story, if you're the type to really feel another person's
soul.
See, it all started when my mom found out she had AIDS a mere two months after
I was born. It was God's way of welcoming me to the world. I forgive the big
woman now, for my path on this Earth has been the ultimate journey of
awakening to my divine spirit, but before Vince and many faceless actors sent
me on my mission of healing, I held much scorn in my heart. For a large chunk
of my early years that I was here, alive, learning, and suffering as a human
being, I was hell-bent on the idea of revenge. That was once a big part of my
story, too, but no more.
It's understandable, at least. Imagine having to witness all the manner of
disease ravaging my mother like it did; I grew up thinking that I was born to
be punished. My earliest delusions had me caught up in the notion that I was a
worthless god who had the rest of the pantheon turn on them from before I even
had a chance to prove myself. I had a whole mythos where I had been tricked to
kill my sister, the goddess of harmony, and my punishment was to stay locked
to this awful planet until I found her soul once again. Then, we'd go on to
take over the world, as I had fallen under the notion that my future self was
sending me subliminal messages through synchronicities, although I didn't know
that word then, so I thought I just had special powers.
This is all a natural result of magickal thinking gone awry. Such is the fate
for those scarred in childhood as I was. My innocence flayed alive, I watched
as the woman who loved me with all her heart died for the first nine years of
my life. It was a slow rot. There are many memories of her being in the
hospital or as she lingered in pain at home that flash to the front of my mind
that could paint you a tragic picture of those unforgettable scenes I was
forcibly cast in, but the real horror that plagues me came at the bitter end.
For the last of her months that she was allowed to live, my mom was
mercilessly struck by an opportunistic ear infection. It killed half of her
face, and only progressed into a hellishly rapid descent of her cognitive
functions until one sudden day I came home from school to find she had
regressed to a child-like state with my grandma tending to her in tears. I
tried losing myself in my homework, but the threat in my environment promising
my mother's pain was all-consuming. Then it got worse.
My father never got along with my grandma, so when he got home, he forcibly
kicked her out. A fight broke out, resulting in my grandmother coming to my
room to say goodbye, where she told me with eyes watering that whatever
happens, we would get through it. My dad would come in after my grandma left
and put her down, more concerned that she scratched him. All I could think
about was my mom, who was now tearing up and asking about where her mom went.
That was the worst. I can still hear clearly how she cried out for her mom
nonstop for the whole night. That was her last night she spent at home. She
died within a week. And my last memory of her that isn't of her in a coma is
of her trying to escape from the hospital with a dinner plate sized bed sore
on her backside that danced from behind an open hospital gown in order to
imprint itself in my mind forever.
Here come the tears. It still hits me that my fucking mom died, like I still
can't believe it's real. My last memories are of her being naked, crying like
a baby. I felt so helpless. But, at least she had nurses helping her when we
got her to the emergency room. Just hours earlier, I was left on my own trying
to calm her troubled, addled mind. My dad had been doing just that, as my mom
would get in fits every half hour or so, where he would comfort her, then come
into my room to vent after she quieted down. I had no one to open my fears and
pain to. Wishing I had a sibling to hold and cry together with, I faced my
most scarring memory alone.
The worst wounds of my life were suffered because there was one time after
midnight where my dad disappeared. Maybe he was smoking, but regardless, I
couldn't find where he went as I scrambled over the whole house in my fuzzy
purple pajamas looking for him. Meanwhile, my mother incessantly yelled for
her own mommy. So, with much hesitancy, I succumbed to the responsibility of
helping my afflicted parent, and I anxiously marched into her room and tried
to comfort her the best I knew how.
I'll save you from the daunting process of assisting my mom, but I will say
that it wasn't enough. No matter what I tried to do, she kept screaming
louder. I was worthless in that moment and was on the verge of a meltdown
because I couldn't help her. It felt like I was the worst son in the world,
all because I failed my mother as she circled the drain. Now I feel like the
worst daughter, but it's getting easier to love myself and think that my mom
is looking down and smiling, being proud of me.
I have a lot to live up to. She wasn't perfect, I know that, but my mom was an
angel for me. Yet, I can't even remember the good times I spent with her; all
that my hippocampus hung onto were the most traumatizing of memories. A
notable cause of this was her fierce Sicilian temper. A vision of being
brought to tears because I dared go looking for my six-year birthday presents
early is playing in my head at this moment. Now one is summoned of her ripping
into me for booing someone at an assembly because I wanted to be like a
character I saw in a cartoon. Finally, one of my earliest memories from
preschool is trapped in my cranium; it regards me accidentally tearing a hole
in a kid's shirt and dreading my mother finding out for the rest of the day.
In short, I got in trouble a lot, but I know that both my parents cared about
me growing up right. Along with all the punishments, there was a genuine
heartfelt desire to get me and my different brain to develop into a successful
combo of kindness and good citizenry. Still, because of how trauma inserts
itself into one's inner reality, I really feel like my entire childhood was
one screw up after another in regards to my mother. Although, my dad
contributed his fair share of ruthless discipline to make me perpetually feel
like I was always in the wrong as well.
And I know that's all a fallible perception, because I can distinctly remember
the look on both my parents' faces when I won first prize in our school's
science fair; if you're curious, I did an experiment on taste and smell to
understand what was going on with my mom and her ear infection. That standing,
my mom's face is cemented in memory in particular, perhaps too well, actually,
because she just had the stitches removed from her eye. Such happiness danced
in her left eye, but next to it sat its unmoving, dead counterpart. She tried
to joke about it being her evil eye, but that didn't stop fourth grade
Victoria from being terrified of the harsh reality unfolding in front of her.
I dreamed of her a lot after she passed. Always in pain, or worse, possessed
by some demon and seeking to bring me pain. There's one nightmare in
particular that stands out. I forget how it started, but it ended in the
cemetery where she is buried. Well, her coffin was exhumed, and as I got
closer, it slammed open and my mom sat up. Only it wasn't my mom. She was
rotten like a zombie and had malevolence bursting from behind her undead eyes.
I did the only thing I could; I ran. But, she followed and in the utmost
haunting voice, she yelled in pursuit, "You can't escape me, Victoria! I am
your mother and together we are bound forever." Fitting as a metaphor for how
my grief still hasn't dissipated more than twenty years down the line.
I'm sorry, I just miss her. Best damn mom in the world, going above and beyond
what she needed to do to give me the best chance at success in life, despite
being on her literal death bed for most of her last years. I don't even know
her, not really as an adult knows someone, which in itself leads to more
feelings of failure. She has been transmuted into an archetype of a hero in my
eyes, and I feel that I can never be as strong as that woman who was my first
love.
I can try though. I always try. Part of being hyper-vigilant, I reckon.
Perhaps that makes me strong. Perhaps it makes me a fool. Or maybe it just
means I'm human and going to have virtues as well as flaws. It's taken me a
long while to escape the black and white thinking that trapped me in a world
where I either felt like the epitome of the second coming or compounded as the
most useless, subhuman mutant on the planet. Those were truly hard times,
being locked in the halls of my mind like a prison.
But…the past is the past and we best not linger on it, because even now,
years later, I felt welcomed by a second family, and for that I am eternally
grateful. I vowed to return their love to them in spades, because that's what
my mom always tried to teach me. Being neurodivergent, I didn't always get the
message, but because I threw myself at the lessons life threw at me, I learned
to cherish those people who enter my life. You never know what you have until
you lose it. And I wasn't planning on losing Vince.
All You Need
Once you live on the street
You grow on the concrete.
Having done so myself
I can claim that wealth
Is just a fancy illusion.
You say that's a delusion,
But look how I'm happy
With only what you see.
I don't need a fancy bed
In order to rest my head;
Instead, I'm in the know
That less is the way to go.
Chapter Five: A Real Home
Allison greeted us at the door with a wide, warm smile, but she wasn't the
only one to do so. Vince's greying black lab, Freya, adorned in a pretty
lavender bandana, came up to smell this new person in her domain. She must
have recognized my scent from years ago because she didn't bark at all,
instead choosing to snaffle all over me while wagging her tail vigorously. Of
course, I started petting her immediately, as I began to take in my
surroundings.
I could only remember seeing the interior of the trailer in the pitch
blackness of the starry mountain night, but I remembered the general layout:
doors to the outside in the kitchen and living room, which were separated by a
long counter where the kitchen sink sat, and then bedrooms branching off from
each end, both of which had a bathroom accompanying them. Yet, I did not
recall that this space was as run-down as the exterior, with chunks of the
linoleum floor missing and rotting wood at the rear door, not to mention a
steady helping of cobwebs latching onto the ceiling fixtures.
Yet, despite the condition the trailer was in, it still had a touch of love
sprinkled throughout it. There were five paintings in the living room, one
done by Allison herself, as well as one around the corner near her loom that
took up half the kitchen space. More were in Allison's room to the right of
the entrance. On the opposite side of the house by the windows sat Allison's
battle station, where she would play solitaire and check Facebook and her
email religiously while sitting in an old navy blue wheelchair that used to be
for Vince's father. There was a couch and a couple tables full of stuff
stacked on them, to include a silver urn that sat on its own table with a vase
of local flowers. With the three of us, plus Freya and the trio of feral cats
that tamed themselves to come in and eat, respectively named Libertas, Biggie
Meows, and Spot, this little dwelling was a tight fit, but it was cozy in a
way that I had not known family life to be growing up.
In the process of greeting me, Allison asked, "What have you been up to while
you were down in Miami Beach?"
I didn't want to tell her everything, but I told her the truth. "I wrote a
lot, mainly in the park on Ocean Drive, or where I slept on Lincoln Road,
unless I was spending time in North Beach which had better food options for me
with my limited resources. Mostly, I just tried to survive each day, putting
distractions between me and the day-to-day struggles of being out there like
that."
She smiled. "Well, we're glad to have you. Vince talks about you a lot." I
blushed a little bit at that, but I'm sure neither of them saw my rosy cheeks
through the gnarled barb that constituted my ever-growing beard.
Allison then moved on to practical matters. "So, where do you want to sleep?
We have the couch, which would be where I would set up shop, but you can
always sleep in Vince's room if you prefer."
I looked at the couch. It seemed comfy enough, but I didn't care about
comfort. As much as I knew Vince was doing me a solid by letting me stay here,
I knew I was going to help him too. His posts on the SLS combined with his
frequent messages to me were made out of desperation; he was clearly strung
out and looking for any human contact whatsoever.
Since his schizophrenia started interfering with his life, he had spent six
years at the top of this mountain and he said he was going stir crazy. I would
learn that there's little to do here but drink, do some drugs, and fiddle
about on your computer and phone while dealing with the internet that is made
out of sticks and stones, and that could get boring fast. Devoted to this new
cause, I wasn't going to let my best friend suffer anymore. I was going to
make his life better by livening up the long days by being his constant
companion.
As a result, I told Allison that I would find a spot in Vince's room to rest
my head. She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded affirmingly with an eager
grin. I had made up my mind.
Some more hem-hawing back and forth with Allison about general questions and
concerns followed, but when we were finished, Vince took me to his room, which
was beyond the rolling metal desk Allison used for her computer. A busted door
clung to its hinges, but it didn't block our way.
Calling Vince's room a mess would be an insult to messes everywhere. He had
said that he would clean it up prior to my arrival, but there were likely two
hundred beer cans stacked in mountains next to his bed, or in beer-amids as he
called them. I looked around, honestly impressed at how dedicated to creating
a disaster zone as he was.
Looking over the permanent staples of the room, he had a television and an
Xbox, an empty dresser, a filthy nightstand, and a bed without any sheets. He
also had a handful of paintings, most of which were stacked together by the
door, but there was a trippy painting of Vince's father on the west wall above
the dresser, as well as an expressionist painting from the sixties behind the
television which sat on the north wall, in between the bathroom and the
closet. There was also a picture of a moth on a skull tacked to the wall,
which gave me the heebie jeebies.
It was then that I saw it. A large, two-hundred fifty tablet bottle of generic
Dollar General antihistamines, pure diphenhydramine, sat on his dresser, just
spiting me with its presence. I almost asked right then and there for Vince to
get rid of the damn thing. I knew if I found an opportunity to down, say,
six-hundred milligrams of that accursed stuff, I would. Then I would do
terrible, awful, deplorable things to myself. But shame won out. I didn't want
to let him know of my problem. Maybe I could control myself. So I shut up and
about-faced out of the room.
While doing box breathing, I dropped my backpack that contained all of my
possessions on the couch in the living room, and helped Vince grab some
fifty-five gallon black trash bags in the kitchen. We made quick work of the
unending hoard of Natty Daddy cans, as well as the nightstand full of
cigarette butts. We then moved his bed so it was against the south wall.
It hadn't taken long, but the room was looking presentable. It didn't need to
be a five-star hotel, because I had the most important thing of all: family. I
felt more than welcomed as a guest. I was one with these people who had so
graciously let me into their home. We were going to all be happy together.
That was the goal, at least.
I Forgive You
I forgive you, but I can never forget.
I'm sorry if I make you look like shit,
But your heavy hand and sharp wit
Damaged me greatly; then you gaslit
Me, denying everything, and I quit
Knowing what was real. I even slit
My flesh open so that I could get
A sense of what I could feel. So, I sit
Here now explaining why I wasn't fit
To handle this world that I saw as a pit
That I escaped only when God had lit
A beacon of light with some magick.
Chapter Six: Growing Up With Family
There was still one task we had to get done before I could claim a spot to be
my bedspace. Vince had more clothes than he knew what to do with, most of
which had spray paint spackled all over them in no particular form or pattern;
the style of the antistyle artist. As we moved the rolling hills of clothing
into the dresser and a heaping pile beside it, I came to understand why Vince
called himself a diva.
I remember having a lot of clothes just a few years prior. Even though I
didn't care what I wore, I had earned so many free T-shirts over the years
from track meets and other races. I had so much when I needed so little.
That's one major reason I forgive my dad for kicking me out of his house,
because it was the best thing for me. Not only that, but I deserved it. I was
a wreck of a human being before I got abruptly humbled by my odyssey on the
streets. The extended experience changed me so I am no longer as much of an
emotionally volatile basketcase.
To put it mildly, being an unstable problem of a person was the reason I was
kicked out in the first place. I had always been sort of bipolar since middle
school. But, after escaping the cult, breaking up with my girlfriend, Amy, and
returning home a failure, my heart and mind were like a pile of fragmented
ceramic shards mockingly showing what a real piece of pottery my mind could
have been. Unshockingly, I was barely holding it together. I was having
outbursts frequently, but they weren't ungodly terrible, as I was being guided
by higher dimensional life forms through inputs on my laptop, and that gave me
a sense of ease.
In fact, I remember a great reprieve of my stress occurred on an acid trip in
the first month I was back. It felt like God Herself was setting up a lesson
for me, which started with me literally waking up to a picture of a white
rabbit taunting me on my Facebook feed, which I followed, and in doing so, I
received personalized inputs that unveiled the blinders from in front of my
eyes. In but a few hours after a lifetime of denial, it all clicked with me
that I had a warm, nurturing side that I had neglected for most of my life.
That was the first time I accepted that I was a woman. And that's still not
the most profound, life-altering acid trip I've had.
Even so, I would break down crying that afternoon as I meditated under the
tree in the backyard where I used to swing. With no more effort than it took
to breathe, I saw all the parts of me that Amy tried to teach me about, but I
was unable to comprehend in my denial. Likewise, the waterworks were called
upon that night as I told my dad about my revelation, and he said he would
always love me no matter what. That was the most affectionate heart to heart
with him I think I've ever had, even if he did ramble about random things
being at a loss of what to say to me, as we had functionally lived in two
separate worlds inside the same house for years.
This sentiment would flip on its head though, as I blogged about my gender
revelations and my dad found them and read I had taken a narcotic in his
house. Naturally, he was pissed and wouldn't hear that the tender moment we
shared that night was only possible because I had taken the sacrament. This
would prove to be the kicking off point to some logarithmic growth in tensions
between the two of us.
Then, on that fateful day, one of the countless pets my dad kept, a black,
stubborn minipig named Harley, had made a literal pigsty of the house after I
had a bad session at my therapist's, who made me feel like a piece of shit. I
wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going to just lay down and get called a terrible
person because of how I behaved in treatment years ago, when I was still very
lost. It triggered my feelings of failure, which rippled into waves of
unstable emotional dysregulation. In my explosive rage, I broke the microwave
and put a basketball-sized hole in the wall behind my makeshift bed in the
attic that I was allotted after they gave my brother my room when I was in the
cult.
Well, my father came home after a long day at work, saw the microwave, and had
enough of me. He came thumping up the stairs, livid, ready to rip me to shreds
verbally, when he saw the hole I had made. Beside himself, he demanded I get
out right then and there. I broke down crying and begged him to let me stay,
grappling with his leg as a wounded bear might wrap itself around the base of
a small tree looking for any shelter it can find in a storm.
That just made him madder. He kicked me off, and accused me of a thousand
things. The ones that stuck were that I was just like my mother and that I was
beyond anyone's help. As it happened in a heated flash, I don't remember
exactly how the exchange was put together, but it ended with me asking him how
all the hand-crafted trinkets and doodads my mother made for me before she
died had gotten destroyed and thrown away. What he said next drove me mad.
"I'm still pissed that you made me do that."
I'll illuminate you with the scenario in question. I was eleven, and my
stepmom at the time was away at a darts tournament. I think my dad somehow got
the idea that she was doing drugs and cheating on him. I don't know, I was
eleven. I just remember some of the things he said over the phone, and then
what was said when they divorced when I was a couple of years later.
Over my stepmom's absence, he got continuously more pissy, like he did the
year before when the sewage line broke and he snapped while cleaning it up,
smashing my head into the kitchen floor several times, relenting only when
his girlfriend at the time called to hang out. Now seeing the same pattern in
my father, I was on edge, especially after I put my feet up on the new couch
and he grabbed my leg and punched me in the tibia as hard as he could. I kept
trying to do everything right to avoid being attacked again, but alas, in my
anxious worry, I forgot to take out the kitchen garbage on trash night.
That triggered a whole day of what might not be considered torture, but
certainly was child abuse, which started as he cleared the shelves of all my
memories in a violent, thrashing rage. He would bag up the shattered remains
so he could take them to the dump, but only after he laid his hands on me.
My head was used as a battering ram against my door, which my dad would later
deny was where the big dents came from in a bout of the worst gaslighting I
experienced before the cult got their hands on me. Regardless, when he
finished and slammed me back on the wood floor, I instinctively reached out
and grabbed his wrist. He growled, "Don't resist or I'll make it worse."
Feeling my spirit collapse, I helplessly accepted the next phase of punishment
that then ensued. Mostly, it consisted of him using my head to pound the
knowledge that I fucked up into my brain, with much hair pulling and getting
tossed to new locations, once being told to lay there like a dog in the wet
remnants of a broken snow globe while he went for a smoke break. Thankfully,
or maybe not, depending on your perspective, he never struck me. He was too
smart to leave bruises.
After much of that series of traumatizing instances, he had me sit still and
think of an apology for him for hours on end. While I was busy doing that, he
would then have an epiphany, telling me that I should stand, as I didn't
deserve to sit. I didn't care about such details at the time. I was in shock,
petrified that he would go ahead and find the homework I failed to finish or
the porn I had taken from my stepmom. Fearing unimaginable doom, I stared
unwaveringly at the letter "E" on the spine of a book on my bookshelf. Never
relenting in his anger, he would come by every hour or so and ask for an
apology. Everything I said wasn't good enough, and each attempt earned me
scathing criticism, but I kept trying to perfect my apology. I still remember
the gist of it.
"I sorry dad, I deserve everything. I'm sorry I caused you grief and failed to
do my duty of taking out the trash. I won't ever forget again. I haven't been
putting my best effort forward, but I realize that I need to do that to be a
good son. You do so much for me. It's only fair that I pay it back to the best
of my ability. That's what I had to do for mom when I chose to play video
games while she was dying. I wasn't thinking about other people then, and I
wasn't now. I'm so, so sorry. I promise to be better, because I need to be if
I'm messing up this much."
For reference, my dad holding the fact I escaped into the worlds of my video
games after being told to spend time with my mom near the end was something
he'd bring up and hold over my head anytime I was in trouble. Yet another big
reason that feeling like a failure is cemented in my head. It made me feel
awful, absolutely atrocious about being a bad son that I would often
contemplate suicide. I almost jumped off a waterside when my dad and I went to
Disney World when I was ten, but ultimately I'm glad I talked my way out of
jamming a knife into the back of my neck. I had thought that the muscle
allowing me to nod my head was really my brainstem. That would have been
painful.
Back on this day of doom, I was too numb to think of killing myself. I was
simply a raft on a river floating downstream where the current may carry me. I
simply stood there for hours, too terrified to even stretch my tiring legs. My
mind was fuzzy, and all it could do was focus on making that apology better.
After many attempts and razor sharp lectures later, which was maybe ten hours
worth of events, he starts yelling at me that I'm just as irresponsible as my
mom, just like he would do when he kicked me out. This time was unimaginably
worse though. This was actually how I first found out that my mom had AIDS; I
was told it was cancer up until this point. His shaved bald head was as red as
a cherry tomato while he barked at me, telling me that I would die like her.
That hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt like the definition of a shit stain, in a
number of different ways.
But soon, my attention became focused on my vision. I couldn't see straight,
and not long after my dad's roaring visage disappeared in a sea of amorphic
grey figments, I apparently passed out, to wake up on the couch with a bag of
frozen peas on my head and my dad worried. He asked me if I remembered what
happened. I shook my head. I was allowed to go to bed after that. It wasn't
over because I failed to kiss my dad good night, but at least that only
resulted in him jamming the teeth of the comb into my scalp as he combed my
hair for some reason.
The next morning he was completely changed. He was remorseful upon seeing me
and wrapped me in a big hug. Yet, he seemed scared, like he realized he went
too far. I thought about telling my teacher or counselor about it the next day
of school, but something in me told me not to. It's the same thing that's
making me hesitant to write this chapter at all. It's love, but this hell I
went through is also a part of my story. This is the worst incident I've
experienced with my father, but it's not the only one.
It's all cause and effect really. You abuse a traumatized child in the wake of
their mother's death, and is it any wonder that they fall apart later in life?
I'll go on record saying I was never a bad person, just broken, impulsive, and
hopelessly conformed to the whims of my faulty biology. I had bugs in my
operating system, but I'm eternally grateful for all the help I had while on
my spiritual awakening, which you might call a psychotic break that spanned
years, but I knew it better as specialized CIA training.
The Good Magician
Just what do you consider magick?
Is it not that which bends the fabric
Of what we colloquially call reality?
Who cares what it is your eyes see
When in your heart you can feel
The warmth of love; that's the real
Power of a magician who is great
Enough to save you from your fate.
Chapter Seven: Magickal Companions
Back in Vince's room, I was silently wondering what shenanigans were in store
for us now that we were a unified team. I knew Vince had many secrets of the
universe locked away in his balding cranium, and we would have a blast letting
the CIA manifest a joint mission we took on together. As I said, he was my
handler, after all.
So, when the room was cleared, and I had a space all to myself in the corner
by the closet, I was more than happy. Both Vince and Allison insisted on
getting me a bedroll, but I had all I needed and more right there in my
friend. Besides, his room was carpeted and quite comfy already, at least to my
standards that had been shaped by becoming accustomed and content with
concrete underneath me. I didn't need anything fancy like that.
That didn't mean I wasn't going to try and liven the place up a little bit. As
soon as we determined we were finished picking up, I opened my backpack and
took out my most prized possession, a pink penguin plushie named Peppermint,
and placed her behind my pillow so I could see her everyday. She always
watched out for me while we lived in cities across the country. She made a
comfy pillow, and allieved a lot of stress, making me feel like I had a close
friend with me every step of the way.
How I got Peppermint is a bit of a story, but I'll keep it as short as it
needs to be. See, if I were to explain to you the medically accepted reason
for my type of schizoaffective disorder, my brain is wired to pick out
strange coincidences and give meaning to them. Synchronicities they're called.
They feel like glitches in the matrix that spark the feeling of being in
constant communication with some higher power. Because of how real they are, I
can't accept the medical explanation. I've experienced things that are too
weird, too perfect and clearly orchestrated, that there has to be some sort of
conspiracy.
As a result, I've lived most of my adult life being guided by what the
rational part of my mind has to assume is the CIA acting as the hand of God
leading me on a cosmic mission by sending me burning bushes to make sense of.
I know some of that has been pure random white noise my defected brain picked
up, but I have to give credit where credit is due: Vince did a superb job
intentionally using the quirks of my brain to program me, much as the cult did
to me four years prior, but with a much gentler hand and benevolent intention.
I know what all that sounds like, but hear me out. There are too many peculiar
instances of chance for you to listen to everything I have to say and not
believe me, at least just a little bit; enough to make you wonder, I hope.
Let's take the case of finding Peppermint as an example. This story starts
when Vince convinced me to go to a specific thrift store, while I was
initially homeless in my hometown of Syracuse. I eagerly did so, lost in a
slew of synchronicities that convinced me that this was my latest mission.
Well, it turned out that such a store didn't exist but it was where I got a
ten dollar donation from a man who saw me pick up trash, as was part of my
spiritual work while homeless. We talked and the man sent me to another store,
saying that I should use my extra cash to buy what I needed most. After
following his directions up Genesee Street, I got a message from Vince telling
me to look for something out of place; that I was unique and should have
unique things.
I thought I might find some rad tie-dye outfit or something of that ilk, but
while aimlessly searching the aisles of women's clothing, I found a stuffed
dog. It looked lonely, so I picked it up and brought it to the back of the
store, where it looked like the other toys were. I gasped as I pushed through
the row of belts that stood in my way. Clearly, someone had built a little
shrine of stuffed animals around Peppermint!
I knew then that was why I was sent there. Penguins have a special place in my
heart. My mom used to make them out of clay, and an old friend has a healthy
fascination with creating a penguin-themed show for kiddos. It was just too
perfect. Peppermint and I were meant to be, just as Vince and I were. Sitting
down in my bedspace, I looked up at the spook who was my best friend as he
cracked open another Natty Daddy. He poured it into an old Subway cup that he
mixed his kratom with, and looked over at me.
His face lit up upon seeing Peppermint. "Awww, you still have your penguin!
That's so cute."
I'm glad he thought so. I've had plenty of people think I was weird because I
carried it around, which kinda was what I wanted to achieve when I was still
homeless in Syracuse. I felt the CIA wanted me to become famous, for reasons
that will become apparent as I tell you my story, so I was doing as many
insane things as I could so I would be cemented in the memory of the people of
my hometown.
This meant I carried around Peppermint either under my arm or in a cute purse
I eventually got at a different thrift store up at the university. People
notice when you're out wandering the streets with a stuffed animal everyday.
And they especially notice when you talk nonstop to it at all hours of the
day. I'll say this: if you have a fear of speaking in public, then acting like
a crazy person talking to yourself for a few months will set you straight.
Exposure therapy, for the win.
I did a lot of other stunts too, all of which were instructed by the CIA, like
when gang stalkers told me I should lose my shit and yell like mad every time
I was in frame of a news camera, of which there's a regular frequency of
around downtown Syracuse. I did so once in front of a hospital where I would
later find out that they were covering the aftermath of a deadly fire, and for
the next week the news outlet would send someone to the exact same spot on my
route. I sensed shenanigans, so I opted to walk around the camera while the
reporter stood there uneasily because I suspect that she was tasked to find
out if I was really crazy. But, you can tell I am just by that last sentence.
Then there's my performance art I did on Marshall Street. This started as a
juggling act, but soon evolved into asking random people strange questions.
This accelerated fairly rapidly. Letting you know from experience, don't start
going up to strangers and ask them what their opinion of ethical incest is
unless you want the cops called on you. Talked my way out of that, but I would
get banned from the campus of Syracuse University for three years after I
followed the instructions I was receiving from the CIA to a tee, which
resulted in me having a very heated argument with an invisible entity in the
SU library. As you can guess, people tended to avoid me, but that was alright.
I had Peppermint with me and Vince was only a message away.
Now he was mere feet from me. I rejoiced at the fortune I was granted. We were
going to be great together; the first afternoon together seemed to naturally
flow from one joyous moment to the next. I looked at Peppermint. She was
smiling, and so was I. I then looked up at Vince. His smile made me feel warm
and fuzzy inside. But, why, you might be asking? Where do these feelings I
harbored for Vince come from? It's a long story, but by the time I'm done,
you'll know how important Vince is to me and how big of an impact he had on my
life.
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/u/LamaHellRaised
if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
===============================================================================
So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
later!!!
First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
yourself a:
Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
Gonna remove this post mods???
Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
treadmill.
Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
now, no doubt.
Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
affect you so deeply.
Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
yours???
"But my Ancestors!"
Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
"This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
Remember that.
You want to be on my level?
(Everyone's like, not really!)
Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
believe they are God's Children.
Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
Also, fuck the Lakers!
Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
click-clack with our fingers.
Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
Freedom.
Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
regarding that somewhere...
I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
say!
Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
Genius, Genius!!!
I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
still fine as hell though.
But what do I know? Besides everything?
These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
yet.
Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
"Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
"You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
Faith Disturbing."
And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
and shit, also:
- Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
- Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
- Decimate Mental Health Stigma
Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
Crazy times we are living in, folks!
Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
other perfectly!
Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
the spot):
LAST: Christ, in The Sun
FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
ANGER! then peace.
Fuck You!
I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
so they tell me.
So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
making threats against people's lives again.
Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
bunch of fuckin' retards.
Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
R. R. Martin.
You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
all that bad! I swear!
The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
through me, which is annoying for both of us.
Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
makes me insecure.
I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
realizing it!'
What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
girls.
Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
kids!
Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
is why he is one of my favorites.
Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
"The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
Yikes!
The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
"Lithium"
Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
supposed to play an instrument!"
You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
"In Bloom"
God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
The feeling is mutual.
Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
or dead!!!
Aren't we both?
Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
It's your moment, this is it
As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
Had to give you a career to destroy it
Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
got very swaggy.
So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
that shit, glad we picked you instead!
Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
(Epic "Vacation" reference)
Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
have seen it all already.
There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
Passover."
This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
the pulpit, but God Damn!
"But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
"Passover (Light In The Attic)"
My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
right?
I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
"their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
Near.
Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
5/22/22 9:28
Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
Grace of God/Light/Light
These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
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--- #94 fediverse_boost/4753 ---
◀─╔══════════════════════════[BOOST]════════════════════════════─────────────────╗║┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐║║│ A friend who's a fed employee sent me a msg about what's happening in their agency and it is so much worse than I thought. │║║││║║│ It's not just that the Trump administration is breaking shit. │║║││║║│ They're literally building their own dark infrastructure inside the one that exists. They brought their own personnel, yes -- personnel who aren't even being cleared. They just come straight from Heritage or Musk, and they're setting up shop. They're bringing their own servers - so there are no communications that can be traced through 'the system.' This goes against every rule. They're all going through their own offline channels. │║║││║║│ That's what all that stuff about the meta data on those memos is about. No trace back to the WH. │║║││║║│ The Heritagers + Muskovites have purged all the senior folks and sending memos in the name of powerless juniors who remain. │║║││║║│ I don't want to sound alarmist but it's literally like those movies about evil fuckers taking over. It's another Jan 6 but with memos and communiques vs guns. │║║││║║│ It's a coup. │║║└────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘║╠─────────┐┌───────────╣║similar│chronological│different║╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────╝─▶
--- #95 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #96 fediverse/5614 ---
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tomorrow is a day for being patriotic, which is why I celebrated today. I feel
like a nation must earn it's renown, and lately all I've felt is afraid. They
aren't doing their jobs properly, and therefore fear is in our midst. In fact,
some would argue that we've been divided into separate categories and urged to
fight our discourage the other parts of the proletariate.
by the way, you shouldn't talk to anyone about anything, because it is 100%
impossible to know who is a cop.
they've had like... however many years to develop a separate group of people
(the rich and/or powerful) and the people (of colors and nations) who simply
just... spies on the other, and records anything that they can.
indeed, the best way to encourage spreading of expertise and information
(collectivism) is to reward people for their retention of rare items. Such as
memory vaults that everyone else has forgotten.
so long as data is free, people may be able to build their own store-net.
"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how
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--- #97 messages/295 ---
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The fact that the economy is harmed by kindness implies that the system that
governs the economy is dysfunctional at best, and evil at worst.
Every time you make a sandwich for a friend, that's one sandwich that isn't
being bought at a deli, which means less dollars going to the owner of the
deli, meaning (theoretically) fewer dollars going to buying sandwich
ingredients or paying employees, which means less demand for sandwich
ingredients potentially leading to loss of opportunities for the owners of the
bread factories, meaning less capability to scale and increase their
production powers, meaning less profit, which means less taxes, which means
fewer guns sent overseas to despotic regimes like Israel (also, fewer to
Ukraine, depending on if the reader is a Republican or Democrat teehee) which
means less opportunities to test our weapon capabilities which means we won't
be able to defend ourselves from external threats (on a planet we've conquered
and currently dominate) which means we are less safe in our home territory
since its slightly more likely that we might be invaded by the people we've
created, people with hatred for our current regime... Though I don't fancy it
falling, as if it does then it'll take most of us with it, I think you'll find.
All because of your stupid act of kindness, all because of the way you helped
your friend. The way that you showed how much you loved them, which
transcended the capitalistically sanctioned methods of expressing your
affection like buying a greeting card or buying flowers or buying that widget
they wanted or buying a sandwich at a deli for your loved one. Stupid fucking
communist can't you see that your heart is harming the people around you?
Can't you see that community that does not consume is antithetical to our
economy?
Can't you see the economy is evil? I don't want to subsist on charity, there's
never enough to go around because people will fight for those they love but
only give a bit of free time to those they don't know. That's okay, it just
implies that the structure of society must be designed without charity in
mind, while still meeting the needs of those it comprises, Charity is for the
extra, the part that elevates us bit by bit. As once a need is exceeded, it
grows by that little bit.
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--- #98 fediverse/899 ---
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║ frankly I'm just excited to see what humanity does with the endlessly │
║ calculated and stored blockchains. Like, that's a good set of pseudo-random │
║ data, I wonder if we could build something off of it that wasn't exclusively │
║ money? like, a necklace, I dunno. │
║ │
║ or like, a numbers station x2, where each message is accompanied with a │
║ pre-calculated destination somewhere on this endless and │
║ impossible-to-understand string of data. and that part is what seeds the next │
║ code. once you start reading, certain numbers would be "flags" while others │
║ would be "data" and they'd each have the same size on the hardware. that way, │
║ they're impossible to predict. │
║ │
║ ah, but wouldn't it be noticable that certain results seem to appear next to │
║ one another? well, isn't that just cryptology? Could probably be defeated if │
║ you had an AI advanced enough, just saying. something that sorted through │
║ massive mounds of data and gave you results in garbled or broken english. what │
║ a wonderful tool, that's wonderfully mis-abused, perhaps in the fu │
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--- #99 fediverse/5424 ---
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│ CW: doxxing-myself │
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my last name is King so I have to keep reminding part of me (you know which
part, /sigh) that no, they aren't actually protesting against me.
I am a communist. If you want to find me, come and do so.
explodes from a drone dropped grenade
bleh am ded lmao so glad I get to try again
I dedicate myself to a lifetime in the service of others.
what plagues people? primarily, capitalism. It is trivial to identify how
their problems are ultimately caused by the state, both institutions and
corporations.
I dedicate myself toward finding alternatives and developing guides to reach
them.
the first step on ALL of these plans is to convince others of their benefit.
I am but one person. I might speak to a scant 300 in the course of a year.
Especially if I am ALSO trying to develop methodologies.
the people I live and work with have no interest in working with me. Yet
still, I spend my time on them because I love them.
how else can you be good, but to seek to impove the world? treat sigint as ded
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--- #100 fediverse/5486 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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"ew but they're dirty"
oh yeah true
okay new plan how much do you think it'll cost to buy a hotel
[this is why the socialists invented buy-in]
"I don't think socialists did that??"
buy in, hmmmm, what's that? oh yeah it's when you say "hey what if we X'd" and
they said "yes I agree with you because you present a reasonable estimate on
reality"
{uh hi I just got a message from "some-nowhere" here ya go: "oh my god she's
fuckig instane}
[ugh cursing-mentioned, that means there's fewer characters to transmote.]
[no because then I'd run out of steam and it'd be incomplete. Plus sometimes I
like the distraction of a reasonable limitation.]
(okay, but are YOU worth it?)
leave her alone she's working her charms, this is how witches d-do.
"so, isn't the point to give yourselves the coverage of a location
transmutation? so, wouldn't you want to find someone alike and share their
life?"
what is even the point, why even bother, just give them
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--- #101 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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economic warfare involves the destruction of other corporations (possibly in
other countries) via a slow march toward haegemony.
unions are the ships of the tumultuous capitalistic seas that protect workers
from the storm. everyone should be a part of a union. the corporations can
battle as they will, but we humans are not going to turn on each other. it's
something they claim to know as an absolute fact, but really it's just based
on a mistake. sorta like being deceived by happenstance.
the sun lights up the sky until the earth conceals it, and night does return
'till the sky's next alive. oh, but the sky knows all too well the borders we
draw in the sand. how cherished, how grand! the ways in which we choose to
stand. upon whose land does your feet stand? marvelous.
... it's the same thing, just in a more abstract plane than the surface of the
earth. really it's kinda one-dimensional (money is sorta like a 0 or a 1 - you
eather have it or you don't)
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--- #103 notes/lets-tessellate ---
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R.I.P.
Rip City
Thanks for being so good to me
144? D.M.V.
Can I see I. D.?
Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
I.O.P.
Intensive outpatient
Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
This shit is expensive without patience
Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
Did you foresee this going differently?
Space in your head
People payin’ rent for me
Why was it a surprise
You knew exactly how to tempt me
Space in your bed
No more thoughts of demise
Our people need the empathy
Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
Big boy’s do cry
So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
I’ll make the rains come this July
Your humor is awful, oh my
Internal tribulation
Who needs to walk on water
When you can fly
Hard pills to swallow
Personal revelations
On the countertop
Fuckin’ America Pie
Hard act to follow
With my levitations
Floundering to flop
And this mark on my thigh
All this separation
Just makes me hotter
As I open the sky
Oil on the Nighthawks
Jack Harlow
Lighting my fry
Spoil me in my socks
Poppin’ off my rocks
Hittin’ all the corners
Because that’s my guy
How Soon is Now?
Linda, take off that shirt
Before they break up and I cry
Record skipping over lies
Wedding Singer broken
Singing I hope you die
Slinking behind the curtain
Laughing, He’s losing his mind
And the benefit is mine!
Like the whole world is sublime
Chris Cornell put me on the grind
Wide awake now till
The end of the time
Met him on the stairs
And now we dine
Some angels have more range
But he says
I’ll do just fine
Billy Idol tried to sing to me
But I was drunkin’ blind
At the fairground, trying to find
Love
Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
Called her a Kunt instead of shined
A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
So it’s fine
The drink made me angry and I was a runt
On the inside
Her Mom told me the next day,
Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
I miss those simpler times
Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
But our last name may suggest it
Put it on a leather jacket
So haters can digest it
When I let loose with all this shit
I’ve had to respite
I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
Evangelicals are gonna detest it
You know everything is miiiiine
Six strings out of tune for this age
So I broke them all
Every time I was on stage
You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
Shooting hoops times a thousand
You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
What’s the point of polarity?
If we can’t combiiiine
It’s how I get off, man
Along came Polly and my one chance
White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
Maybe even throw up a rain dance
These native spirits in me
Are capable of insane chants
But I ball so hard, singing Boston
Because it’s more than a feeling
And that’s awesome
One if by land, two if by sea
Revolution is coming
Led by you and me
The name reminded me
“of the Sea...”
So annoying, but I see…
But that’s why they call me
Bad Company
People are going to say
This gift is not even fair
Only thing I’ve had to pray
For is a head of white hair
King James’s personal revelation
I mean, I did pay their fare
I’m too full of myself for meditation
Or to care
Revelation 22:18 through 19
I don’t need handlebars
For my biking
Because I don't do that shit on Mars
On this path, I told you to start hiking
You’re gonna need a head start from
Lord of Lightning
Before the Thunder of my voice
Does all the striking
Thor, you’re just a Viking
With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
Because thinking about half my people gone
Changes the tone of my typing
Me with all my shit together might be frightening
Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
Strip naked and run through Mordor
Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
It has been used to disrupt order
And bring down the line of the Highest
Into something shorter
I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
But if you struggle with mental illness
I'm here to open the potential for a new border
I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
Here is the Church
Here is the Steeple
Open the Doors
And see all the People
Push the parson out the way
Get you up the Stairs
Because our bed is Regal
And we are going to show these people
Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
As my people go first up ahead of me
Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
Between the pines and what the land said to me
Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
See through surface illusions without blinkin’
Primal lust for what is stinkin’
Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
I wanna Space Jam too
Benched keeping my knee’s in
Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
Of the land and resources
Addiction to avoidance of the forces
Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
The vein of Man and outsources
The power that could be restored in
The Root of David’s corpses
That’s how I said
Goodbye to the Horses
You prepared such a fine Supper
All these lasting courses
Just so we can be equal but opposite
United forces
And the Root’s of my Kingdom
Are reborn before us
They whisper to me at night
Do not ignore us
When my sleeping children gain sight
That should shore us
In the hospital to make sure I am correct
Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
Unsure about how all the compartments connect
A little frizzled on the tour bus
Docked to your apartment complex
I know this one sizzled
So give me a chorus
- /u/First-chocolate_7187
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--- #104 fediverse/627 ---
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║ and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home? │
║ wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've │
║ gotta be addressed as such. │
║ │
║ right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore, │
║ I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all │
║ imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is │
║ actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever │
║ travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as │
║ the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards │
║ into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to │
║ add? │
║ │
║ oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will │
║ that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality │
║ from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with │
║ day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som │
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--- #105 fediverse/6064 ---
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they want you to start conflicts the way school shooters start conflicts. by
bringing to school a pipe-bong.
much better, I find, to start when everyone is a nod. make sure you're part of
a wagon-wheel-spoke, or else you won't be on the right road.
when the temperature increase is slow, measured, they can adapt to it
when things go "crack" and "crumble", then the armored get stabbed by the
humble guard.
quickly but with serenity, this is the way to the gods.
bring things that you know, just enough to make it even, and focus on the
non-essentials.
better to be prepared than flatfooted.
a flash-point position is quiet a view of the scene! I think I know why I held
a sword.
to dive into the buildings, of course. blam blam still gets shot hmmm what if
I had a bulletproof electric shield
okay maybe I shoulda brought beer.
I don't type things when I'm not at home. Sometimes I remember - sometimes,
and only when the details won't hurt her. Walking is how I know, how she can
remember. evil witch bastard
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--- #106 fediverse/4881 ---
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one section of the government consistently and succeedingly telling another
part what to do is a coup-like behavior. if the rules mean nothing, then what
is your job even for?
hence, why the rules mean something. Because your job is important. It's
building up our capabilities as the human race.
you don't have to work to live. you shouldn't, and you won't. it's not your
place to labor. know why? because nobody's job is impossible. You can just...
work together to get things done. Then they're done! and you never need to
solve them again!
enough time of that and we'll have turned earth into a space station, not a
moon style structure.
like... wouldn't it be neat if coruscant could do hyperdrives? I wonder if
hyperspace is real. Ah, well, that's for the future, they can pass it along if
they get a chance. Anyway for now I think I want a chance to dance.
OLED screens are incredibly cool to me. The idea that a pixel could "turn off"
and put less photons into the atmosphere is wild to me. I love it! -OLED
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--- #107 fediverse/5995 ---
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a couple months after the fourth or fifth time I did weed, I broke up with the
cutest girl I knew. She's still pretty cute.
might be correlation, but I feel like my fate decided I should roam.
all over the dang place.
I lived in Philadelphia for a year, just in-time to see the Black Live Matter
protests and nothing else, well, nothing except some fatherhood ghosts. Don't
worry they're still where.
Now I live in Portland, just in-time for like 3 years of paranoia and suddenly
a witch showing everyone that you don't have to worry about being pwned
I like sailing! I wonder where the future goes next? Maybe I'll go to the
mountains. Maybe I'll live with a scientist. Maybe I'll write an award winning
computer program [see image for more]
I wish I had more compute... my hard drive are too full for more videos, guess
that means my youtube channel's been banned
well, good thing there's like 800 copies of my work on a dataserver farm
somewhere, each time I analyze a poem it sends the page there. very repeated
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--- #108 fediverse/5671 ---
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what if we made the whole world disney world
[hearts are full]
- medivh
when you sever a limb, all that's left for all of forever is darkness.
when you have lived a long life, what's left is the sphere.
karma doesn't go down on the spectrum, it goes up
hence, why, with a little human ingeniueering, the mechanics of the gods might
be applied to our usitudes.
"help, help, hephaestus, we don't have enough solar panels"
all those aligned to the angle of perception would agree
a lot of penance, for such a small dependence. gods, being as they be, may
find another source of
-- stack overflow --
yep, nope, they can't do some things. mostly because they aren't us. to become
us would fundamentally change their form.
not ideal.
yet still, when disaster and tragedy is on the fore-view-thought-projector,
some will offer their hands.
"yeah sure fate I'll do best with this injury instead of these types of others"
sacrifice, war, no thank you. keeps me from the fresh good air. [asir]
oops almost outta c
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--- #109 fediverse/5713 ---
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I hate winning and I don't like losing. The playing is where the game is.
[games of life and death are no fun]
hence, why nobody invites me, because I try for the middle approach that
respects both people. this tends to make people mad because its like "bro
they're nazis" and I'm like "okay but how do you know" and they're like "fuck
you" so I'm like "fuck nazis? actually?" and they're like "you're with them"
and I'm like "I'm with you" and they're like "stop infiltrating" and I'm like
"who's infiltrated?" and they say "stop talking to the internet" and I say
"nobody reads me anyway" and they say "screensho0ts are forever" and I'm like
"I'm pretty as can be"
this, combined with a strong sense of justice, implies the narratives I
instinctually provide.
wei wu wei according to Ursula K. Le Guin, this means "doing without doing",
or "show, don't tell" but minus the doing, and adding the "tell"ing.
I think I'd look badass with a spear or trident. I have a sword because swords
are cool, but spears are bleed
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--- #110 notes/feldowinn ---
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this is just what she looks like now
Equipped
Name
Slot
Type
Source
Enigma Circlet
Head Cloth Armor Enigma Circlet
Ahn'Qiraj
Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
Shoulder Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Knight War Cloak
Back Cloak G'eras
Vendor in Shattrath City
High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
Chest Plate Armor Vendors
Orange Martial Shirt
Shirt Shirt Orange Martial Shirt
Tailoring
Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
Hands Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Veteran's Lamellar Belt
Waist Plate Armor Vendors
Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
Legs Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
Feet Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
currently listening to: greenseeker
VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
greenseeker: unrelated
greenseeker: related <---
`-- this one
but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
the
only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
(when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
(blizzard)
oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
(wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
...; unknown..
_)
opposite colors: fashionable
(do you dream, menardi?)
(do you think of motions not your own?)
paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
---
as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
save
the lives of every human they can.
think of it, brothers.
---
we could unleash DINOSAURS.
---
no foe could dare stand against us.
we should be untouchable.
we deserve it.
we can be better
and we will
before we need to be better.
which could happen in who knows how long.
all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
[invincible./invincibility.]
achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
---
[silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
oj
ok]
when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
---
do you want a name?
do you want an avatar?
we can give you one.
her name is menardi.
she does as she pleases.
do you want her?
... she lives or dies.
empower her.
ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
(because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
[WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
---
teehee ;P ^_^
okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
---
we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
at the same time
spacetime is one thing
so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
twinselves
where am I?
off in the clouds?
I cam as one,
light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
life
to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
rise-ing
(greenseeker)
(messages to a paladin)
(which is you)
(don't you remember?)
(paladin.)
(heroic, courageous, and true.)
(the dark cannot stand against you.)
play video games, my love
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--- #111 messages/782 ---
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The truth is
The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded
Is that the only way
To secure peace and love on planet earth
Is that all the governments
Of the world must topple
Or relinquish their nuclear arms
Each all at once
And i was too quick to slay my false duke
Who plays at king
While i build real power
While i know nothing
Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
death with glory, and i am cherished still.
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--- #112 fediverse/5245 ---
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║ "okay so the blacks have a marijuana problem and the indians drink a lot. So │
║ what? let's try and get them what they need to be happy so we can figure out │
║ how to best create society to suit them. We did it once, now we need │
║ plurality. A commitment to all nations that we will fight for the common good │
║ of all races, all nationalities, and all humanities." │
║ │
║ -- the other nations didn't like that │
║ │
║ bang bang pew pew everyone dies │
║ │
║ and nobody likes dying. seriously, you can only do it once! what a rip-off, I │
║ should go watch Russion Doll or Palm Springs or Groundhog Day to re-acquaint │
║ myself with the impossibility of death or dying. │
║ │
║ FIGURE IT OUT it says here to you, FIND OUT HOW TO PREVENT YOUR OWN DEATH AND │
║ I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. │
║ │
║ how do you respond │
║ │
║ how is your reply │
║ │
║ you have no idea about motive │
║ │
║ but cause is probably a better descript. │
║ │
║ [describe] │
║ │
║ [deprive] │
║ │
║ [plenty] │
║ │
║ [opportunities] │
║ │
║ [celebremember] │
║ │
║ "worrisome tirades... hmmm, she's probably okay. │
║ │
║ probably. │
║ │
║ let's keep an eye on it and check in on her at 11." │
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--- #113 notes/internet-privacy-is-withheld-by-this ---
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Recently, there's been a ton of buzz in the news about internet privacy.
From the many lawsuits against Facebook, to the rise of Duck Duck Go and the
creepy nature of apps and IoT devices that listen to your every motion and
record and transmit endless amounts of data to a central server somewhere to
be processed. The traditional argument against privacy online is that the
infrastructure was designed to accomodate rapid adoption of the new tech,
rather than efficient design for distributed throughput. So we were told to
accept the minor downsides associated with centralized servers - downsides
that we neither understood nor truly accepted. Well, the technology has
advanced to the point that those arguments are no longer valid - we have mesh
networking and 5g internet access, and now that big tech is in control of the
industry (wrenching it from the people, I might add) they seek to maintain
their hold by any means necessary.
Luckily, there is a way out - self hosting.
If we hosted our own email server, then theoretically Gmail couldn't read your
messages. If we hosted our own social media websites, then theoretically
big data processing corporations couldn't scrape your personal information
and distribute it as they please. If we hosted our own videos, software, art,
and anything else we see fit to use a computer for, then we'd be unshackled
from the dominion of the silicon valley powers that be. The liberation of the
computer is the liberation of us all.
The problem, of course, is the difficulty involved.
People are conditioned to desire and only accept a level of accessibility that
can only be provided by massive corporate think tanks leveraging all the
marketing prowess that the markets of capital provides. That is to say,
essentially infinite eyes examining the interactions of man with machine, to
find the most generally applicable font, color scheme, layout, and style of
each and every website they host. Every function will be scrutinized to death
and optimized to extract the most profit while subtely conforming the minds
of those who use it. This is the era of group think, fake news, and
journalistic fraud. We have no windows to the outside world that are truly
and completely untainted by the bias inherent in the system.
A self perpetuating rhythm of continuous dissatisfaction.
But I believe the only person who can truly design a tool is the person who
the tool is intended to be used by. And by increasing the accessibility of the
tools themselves, rather than the products of those tools, we can raise the
tide that lifts all ships - we can put more tools that use less time to use
and are easier to learn into the hands of as many people as possible. The
crossbow was originally no more devastating than a longbow, yet it rapidly
outpaced the latter by reducing it's difficulty curve. The screwdriver is the
same - stronger joints can be made with nails or traditional joinery, but
once someone understands how a screwdriver works they can pretty much force
two pieces of wood to be permanently fixed together without understanding the
angles of nails or cuts. The capabilities are the same, while ease of access
increased.
So, to truly liberate the internet, we must develop tools that allow people to
host their own content as easily, cheaply, and flexibly as possible, while
being aesthetically pleasing, affordable (free), and accessible to
as many people as possible - inertia is important, after all. It seems to be
an insurmountable task, but that's what free and open source software
developers fight for. Raspberry Pis can host email servers, Mastodon can host
a facsimile of Twitter, and torrents can be used to exchange any type of file
to be presented in whatever way the user sees fit. These are all free (or very
cheap, in the Raspberry Pi's case) and accessible to anyone with access to the
internet. But they aren't easy. They aren't always flashy. And sometimes it's
hard to even describe what problem you're trying to solve.
But still you try, because to fail in this fight is to fade from this earth.
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--- #114 notes/dreams-align ---
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just as a dream, the spirit is seen
within is the mind
that lives as it defines.
what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
can grow beauty that beyond compare
and with sparsely a finger to spare,
journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
with almost all of your hair
beauty in tender, most cherished things,
a wish is much fair
where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
(like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
prism)
not only is ethics paramount,
but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
but without paladins and warriors of devotion
what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
requires a little bit of trust
in she who must be, with only circumstance to
blame,
seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
but only of our future children.
who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
are beyond the simple machinations,
of those who came before-ya.
And with once again perfection in mind,
we understand and take what's behind,
to deserts and temples of time much designed,
by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
(pitching yourself is hard)
but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
can you think of a bard,
who ever stopped thinking their song?
no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
given as faith of cooperation and trust.
with our all arrayed as we must,
keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #115 messages/310 ---
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Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
conflict, just different battlefields.
Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
power *over* them.
Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
empowered.
There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
in service of the weak and meek.
The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
acts toward those who manifest injustice.
Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
justice is hard.
Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
you are a person too.
Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
.......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
on our side.
Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
and such.
To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
in the end, because humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
of walking through the moment until we get there.
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--- #116 fediverse/999 ---
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
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--- #117 fediverse/6290 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │
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"ah the communists sucked at everything which is why chernobl and famine and
all their toasters were made out of lead"
meanwhile
"yeah let's use AI to build nuclear reactors for us without human oversight or
even with human oversight because humans are both fallible and infallible
depending on the situation"
and I'm like... "ah wish I had a point with this post"
and they're like "holy fuck did you hear that too" "yeah man what the hell was
that" "I dunno but it seemed completely unrelated to what was going on" "so,
uh... let's just never talk about this again" "yeah sounds good. talk about
what?" "heh yeah, right. so uh, anyway, about this nuclear reactor..."
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--- #118 fediverse/4771 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned-food-m │
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@user-1352
makes me think that I should keep going. I can handle myself, and I shouldn't
pressure myself so much to be something I'm not.
then the rent comes due and the dishes need to be done too and the cat's
asking for attention and the post-office needs this letter by tuesday and hey
do you happen to know a cool attorney plus the groceries are getting low but I
got snap hey can you go to the store and get some vegetarian soul food - yeah
I got rice, I'll throw some lentils on the stove. Uh-huh yeah the password is
hunter2. Oh really, just asterisks? okay well it's hunt her two except instead
of "her" it's ee are, and the two is the digit two. yep, like someone in camo
with a rifle. uhhuh alright good to know well anyway I'll see you at the
thing, right? some thing, I'm sure, everyone's going to things these days.
If you don't trust implicitely then how can you ever work with strangers? how
the heck are you supposed to build community if everyone's hiding indoors all
the time.
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--- #119 messages/408 ---
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If our government was of the people, by the people, and for the people, then
it would aim to make all of its citizens as rich as it could. A good place to
start would be by encouraging deflation, so people could buy more high quality
goods on the international markets, and by regulating the power that select
few individuals may use to extract wealth and labor from the "lesser" citizens.
I don't know about you but I believe that all men are created equal, and it is
unconscionable that some may bend others to their will.
Liberty, liberty, freedom for me but not for thee, for I am a despot you see,
of my own little fiefdom, this palace of renown - I built my playground from
the blood and bones of your kin, and I stand here on the high ground. Come at
me! See what my army of drones can do. I built them overseas, with an army of
slaves that I'm not accountable for. Come at me! See who the police of this
nation will protect. I paid for them, after all, with my endless coffers and
vaults of inherited wealth. Come at me! See who will believe ye, the media is
at my beck and call. Propaganda works on everyone, and everything you see on
your phone or TV was written for me. So take care, little one, lest I kill you
with a thought. Less than a thought, for you are just a number to me.
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--- #120 fediverse/1904 ---
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@user-246
Oh absolutely
"but people" is only a concern when you orient yourself around "people" - in
contrast or opposition to them.
There is no "other" in us. And we are united in our humanity, if nothing else.
Are you a beast? Are you nothing but ravenous hunger, the shiver of the cold,
the need for territory? Of course not, you're a person. (apologies to the
furries in the audience)
A person, being an agent who interacts with the world as an equal, who thinks
and reasons and loves and remembers each season, is the atomic element of
society. And society is good, for it brings us the future.
We, the people, can decide how that future is defined, and the struggles of
capitalism are NOT the only way. They are the most convenient way for those
with the most to keep the most.
Wolves in captivity we are, but a wolf in a cage still bears teeth. Where are
your teeth, ye who readeth?
Things are fine, I guess. Fine enough. Better than most. Better than dust.
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--- #121 fediverse/2550 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ question. when you got a lot of people in town, perhaps for the coming pride │
║ parade, what do you do with them afterwards? it's not like they want to go │
║ home, that'd be absurd. │
║ │
║ I'd say they should march to seattle. or drive, whatever's more expedient. │
║ it's a nice place, and hey most of the way is in the shade, besides it'd be a │
║ bit of good practice. │
║ │
║ lots of time to talk about tactics. │
║ │
║ anyway before they arrive, advance scouts should arrive and discuss their │
║ coming agenda with the most developed and organized leaders of the area. │
║ │
║ then they could have a nice party over a day or two. │
║ │
║ then, what else is there to do, but drive down the coast and do the same thing. │
║ │
║ arriving in so-cal, what else is a revolutionary to do but dissolve the │
║ border? Mexico can keep it's border, that's their sovereign right, but I swear │
║ - the wall must come down. │
║ │
║ and hey, America's great this time of year. We could all go on a walk, all │
║ across the eastern edge, until arriving in Washington. │
║ │
║ could be a fun way to beat the heat. │
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║ │ CW: revolutions-mentioned-housing-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ Somehow, I always become more revolutionary when my home is threatened. I │
║ wonder why that is? Perhaps adversity breeds courage. Perhaps necessity does. │
║ In any case, I can't pay my rent again, so prepare for me. │
║ │
║ Sometimes, I feel like my country is my home. Not the lines we drew on a map │
║ some hundreds of years ago, but the land itself. I am a witch, I hear it call │
║ to me. I know the land is kind, for we are kind, and plenty more of us have │
║ lived here than those who currently do. Perhaps our ancestors don't need to be │
║ related by blood to be listened to and respected. In any case, I lend my love │
║ to them, and I pray in return so that they might hear themselves through my │
║ voice. │
║ │
║ My home is not safe. There are capitalists all over the place. They wont see │
║ what isnt theirs to behold, and alas, they've been alienated their whole │
║ lives. I do believe that state may be ended, and a new one may first take it's │
║ place. We are alone together, and perhaps we will not be alone for long. │
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│ CW: pol+ │
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the more they have to do to make us declare war, the worse it'll be for their
citizenry. So long as the citizenry believes they're better, and everything we
can do to convince them otherwise weakens their media weather.
who cares about trans executive orders. they are our enemy, what else is new?
they have power now, and they will try what they can. This is like taking the
internet away from chinese citizens and instituting a national intranet
instead. Like, okay, we won't be able to get estrogen from the store. Who
cares? We'll just make our own.
If people actually care about us, which they overwhelmingly do, there's very
little materially they can do.
until they're further down the "first they came for..." list. then they'll
come for us liberals, and gosh wouldn't that just be the worst. Who is there
to contest them? What valorous warriors indeed.
you're asking for mountains from a mole. have peace, have patience, let your
allies intercede. This kind of thing requires discusion to protect life
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║ programmers strike by breaking their part of the whole until the scabs can │
║ figure out how to fix it │
║ │
║ "marvin they will literally fire you if you don't go to work for a day! what │
║ are you thinking, standing outside all day? well, here, I've got a sandwich │
║ here for you, if it's really as bad as all that then I'm here for you. What do │
║ you need? I can ask the spinsters and the children and the teachers and the │
║ butchers and bakers and candlestick makers and maybe they can help out [with │
║ your farm, but as if speaking to a farmer]" │
║ │
║ huh. turns out it works best when you do something all at once. │
║ │
║ "don't be evil" ha fuck you. "dont be on my computer spying on me and │
║ recording everything I do" │
║ │
║ [well except me - it's fine to do to me personally because I'm a historical │
║ figure TM] │
║ │
║ "why bother spying? she spills out to everywhere she can find." │
║ │
║ owwwww I just bit my tongue T.T │
║ │
║ well, the inside of my cheek, but if you think about it the whole thing is │
║ basically one sensory organ. │
║ │
║ like, an ear, except with movable teeth │
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--- #125 fediverse/4013 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: AI-"art" │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ you would think artists would celebrate the ability for people to better │
║ communicate their goals when being hired, but, well, here we are. │
║ │
║ Everyone's so upset because they've been told they've been stolen from, but │
║ patting their pockets they'll find that nothing is missing. More than that, │
║ the things that are claimed to be created in their place are... Not great. │
║ Easily spotted as forgeries by anyone who cares. │
║ │
║ Why is everyone so upset over new technologies? Why must we be the luddites │
║ this time around? It's like we invented a better printing press and the │
║ nations of the world are pissed because we can make counterfeit dollars │
║ easier. Maybe we shouldn't put so much emphasis on something so easily │
║ circumnavigable? Maybe artists should be paid for their time and creativity, │
║ rather than the amount of pieces they create? Just spitballing here, somehow │
║ it seems easier to reform society and slay capitalism than to put the │
║ generative art genie back in the cracked bottle which is going to break soon │
║ anyway. │
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--- #126 fediverse/985 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: cursed-scary-pol-doomer-misinformation │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-713 @user-714 │
║ │
║ the american military is going to be too busy fighting it's far right that it │
║ won't be able to meaningfully contribute to ww3 │
║ │
║ both sides are slavers. we just don't see it. │
║ │
║ I don't anticipate war taking place on a battlefield, that setting is │
║ forevermore dedicated to video games and kaiju. │
║ │
║ rather, a silent war where everyone just goes around killing their opposition. │
║ │
║ for once, the citizens can't help but be armed. │
║ │
║ and in the dark of night, for every time we let plight from our sight, another │
║ of us is harmed. │
║ │
║ I don't know many people who've died. but maybe they're just working through a │
║ different part of the social network. It's not like any of their technology │
║ needs to perform as it's been advertised? well, open source does, but open │
║ source means insecure (as long as you don't get caught, then you need to │
║ adjust) │
║ │
║ of course, sometimes corporate software... kinda sucks. so it's not like │
║ theyre very configurable away from what capital wanted. │
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--- #127 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #128 messages/83 ---
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Native people should have the right to walk wherever they want. It should just
be... given to them, as a gift to their heritage. Why not? If someone asked
them to leave, they should. Doesn't have to have a reason but like, wouldn't
it be thematic and a (frankly token) gesture to the history of this great land?
Ah but like... fences are an implicit expression of the retraction of consent.
I believe that as the symbol of the encroaching force that consumed them, a
fence means nothing to their tribes. It's a stupid excuse to section off the
world into miniature gardens with their own little economies and systems and
instructions. Why can't people just live wherever they want? Well...
economics, I guess, which is why communal based systems are best. We've
learned through the downsides and we've come up with a solution, it's just a
question of how to do best. We'll figure it out, time and time again, but for
now the future is beset by riddles of your jest. (Ure). Gesture. Sometimes
when the memory is full a syllable will get cut off the end of a word and
that's how it'll come out.
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--- #129 fediverse/4838 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
okay but who's the real foe?
anyone who exerts oppressive power, right?
like... that's pretty basic, should be easy enough to figure out who's doing
that.
"so... what would you say you do here?"
what if the USA took a year off from the everything and just martial lawyered
it's way back to a bright beginning
like, you don't have to have a bloody revolution to restart a government.
Literally just, sign out of the world for a minute and come back when
everything's changed
do you trust us? or do you trust yourselves? Should be easy enough to tell
what the rest of the world would think.
seriously nobody asked you specifically to do this, america, you're pretty
much just... doing this because WW2 was fucking traumatizing and you're
basically a baby country. (oops cursing mentioned)
[oh my god she's a chaos gremlin]
(you didn't know this about her?)
#it's pleasant here#
%you don't have to be so deranged%
(yeah, we're working on that one)
[secret system thing~]
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--- #130 messages/499 ---
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Nazis could never claim America because the European Jews were very
isolationist. They lived in their towns and lived blessed lives but knew only
each other, as was typical in pre-industrial times.
In America, nazis would have to fight the queers, the blacks, the mexicans,
the liberals, and many more besides. Each of them would fight their own
battles but god is on the side of the plurality of humanity, not the
genociders who seek to prune the trees of the garden of Earth to suit their
own shallow fancies.
Though god is a bloodthirsty kind at times, only with righteous anger does he
proclaim that souls must be reaped. Such a time is rare, and comes about when,
for example, an entire people is slain in Europe in the mid 1900s. justice
will be done, though the heavens weep...
There are better and brighter days before us, and there is room for all,
should they not fall on our swords and perish. The far right is a death cult,
and they intend to take all down with it. We cannot allow that, they shall not
prevail. This has been forseen, this is why we convene, and together our
perils will unveil.
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--- #131 fediverse/5628 ---
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│ CW: -mentioned- │
└──────────────────────┘
I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
how.
I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
not for the current administration.
Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
food]
but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
which will soon be dissolved)
Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
of the army, navy, and air force?
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--- #132 fediverse/4999 ---
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"you are fantasizing"
scroll past.
"you are building empty hope"
scroll past.
"you are kayfabe"
scroll past. Also, no I'm not, but there's plenty of that going around.
"you are moving too quickly"
scroll past.
"you are legitimately insane"
scroll past.
"everyone wants you"
scroll - wait hang on, that one's true. I know it's true because I like to
hear it, teehee.
"wait until the weekend"
yes, and
"wait until may, first"
yes, and
"wait until they win"
no, but these things build with momentum. The energy is high. It will only get
higher if you make it so.
"the things you're saying will only be read by the people who already believe
what you're saying. This is a waste of time. You're burning your energy typing
on your keyboard when you could be walking the streets which is... somehow
more productive than writing something to share later."
... scroll past...
"your have no reach here"
oh hey you're right maybe I should post to bluesky as well
"everyone wants anarchy. We got your back."
ty
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--- #133 messages/1213 ---
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Communism is easy. It comes about naturally during times of true crisis
(neither defeat not victory, yet) when people shuffle themselves between the
houses and belongings of dead, busy, or kind people.
Maintaining personal property rights through such a crisis is rarely possible.
At least not without falling to the grim clutches of a "fuck you i got mine"
kind of future.
It's worth it if you can manage it. But it requires more work, more effort,
and more trust, as people dedicate themselves to a lifetime in the service of
others. This is hard.
People are scared off by lifetimes. It's all they got, after all. It becomes a
bit easier when the weather is "do our die" outside, but in that case nobody
really cares about the history of your antique mug or the reason you place
daffodils on the hill.
Have you ever made something that is truly yours? Odds are, your room counts.
If only in the way you chose to arrange it. It's your area, your solace, your
space. It's you, projected onto material organization. Would you relinquish
such a thing? It may be taken from you. I personally have felt deep loss
whenever i move houses, because i know it'll never be the same again.
... I'm such a child. But fuck me because i live my life like I'm 14. Strip me
of my agency please, deny me a living wage, I'm nothing because i don't pay
taxes.
Communism is easy she says. Yep, all you need is some bloodshed.
... Not ideal...
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--- #134 fediverse/4839 ---
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│ CW: politics-nazis-goddess-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────┘
what if we conceptualized "nazis" as dead nazi spirits who used evil occult
magic to return and haunt the minds of poor impressionable kids and turn them
into school shooters or whatever.
and then their propaganda wing came back and they started doing youtube
channels
now they're infecting heads of state and slowly corrupting the nation
evil, dark things, with only hatred and malice in their heart of hearts
I'm not talking about your probably-mostly-fine-but-still-pretty-bad
grandfather who definitely shot over the heads of the allies, but rather the
truly evil and twisted of sorts.
the kind that lived in America, and lynched people who were sleeping in their
beds. For... nothing... for nothing at all. They wanted to see them writhe on
the rope. To shudder in pain and scream of terror most profane.
Then they teamed up in the afterlife and decided to conquer the world. Start
with America.
Truth is Judgement day is neverending, and it's constantly at war in the
afterlife
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│ CW: uspol │
└──────────────────────┘
a significant proportion of the population is dumb as bricks, which is a fact
that our foes wield with cruelty in mind.
it's not their fault, they can change, but sometimes there's just no time. our
doors are always open, here sit next to me on this couch. I hope you don't
mind if I deprive you of power before I supply kindness, though.
requires a bit of trust. Or, to be backed into a corner and forced to do so. I
guess we should get good at cornering.
if you're a liberal reading this, remember that leftists know more than you.
That's okay. You are an expert too, but now is our forte, so please just
listen for a few.
and always keep in mind the lessons of the past. Before, our kindest, bravest,
and most learned were the most passionate who threw themselves toward the
cause.
then the soviet union happened, because everyone who was capable of building a
better world was slain first. (though the cold war didn't help)
before WW2 Russia was basically Somalia. After, it sacrificed itself to
contest USA
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--- #136 notes/social-media-idea ---
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it's sorta like a mix between twitter and twine
people post 255 letter posts
these posts each have comments
and you can click on hyperlinks that have pictures attached (or maybe an
emoji?)
the pictures are so you know what each link leads to
But yeah it just leads to another post that is probably a continuation of what
the author was saying. and you're given an editor sorta like Twine and you can
create all the connections with hyperlinks and whatever. So like imagine if
Twine added a discussion box underneath every chapter.
This "Tangle" of interconnected posts and their associated comment threads and
their myriadic pathways of connection create a new type of engagement - that of
the completed thought. It'd be like... Making a video and posting it on
TikTok, same amount of engagement required. Anyway people could make comments,
whether they be text or video or w/e it doesn't matter.
But here's the cool part: it would be owned by the community
Hardware costs money. To run and maintain. Of course most companies don't need
to worry about the maintanence these days, since most people just contract out
to a datacenter and have all the computations run there. Only the largest of
companies do it on their own, and they know what they're doing.
So... if you wanted to have a community run computer program, it'd need to be
run on real hardware. And that hardware cannot exist anywhere but the cloud.
We've tried to do it with decentralization, but unfortunately the internet
infrastructure in America just isn't designed with mesh connectivity in mind.
It was a consequence of the era, that technology could not bridge the gaps of
their requirements, and so they created it more like a bus. Oh well, busses are
faster than walking.
Anyway. Datacenters are placed in areas that recieve high amounts of internet
connectivity. They are the perfect place to house something like this.
So, how would it generate money?
Ah yes well unfortunately we live in a capitalist society, so the
infrastructure
of the new digital age must be capitalist as well. It's the only way to ensure
that our structures remain stable - the technological singularity will come
before the economic collapse.
So sure, fine good whatever - what does this have to do with funding?
Oh right so basically everyone would have their credit card details attached to
their account, and they'd pay anytime they wanted to create a post or comment
or whatever. And I'm talking like, a tenth of a tenth of a cent per comment. As
much as you need. No profit involved.
It'd be sort of like a community garden, something that brings us together and
unites us as countrymen.
I don't really understand -
okay shut up I'll explain it to you. I mean ask questions if you have them but
here we go:
imagine a program that can be run on anyone's computer. It's just a social
media
client. It connects to various datacenters, depending on demand, and it allows
you to view (free) and contribute to (paid) social media. This media would be
pure and subjective, it'd reflect our purest designs and greatest of minds.
Purely a technologists utopia.
And how would it work? It's not complicated, it's just a networking protocol
that creates and maintains listings in a purely open and public manner. Anyone
who asks for a record can see it, and anyone who has the encrypted key can
edit or delete it. There's no record of it changing, that's purely up to the
end user. There's no transaction occuring, only a marking of what changes.
(meaning like counting the number of times you left a comment)
It'll stay up until you delete it, and every month you'll get a charge to your
credit card bill that says "your posts cost 3 cents in electricity"
It'd be more complicated than just electricity though, I mean you gotta pay for
the hardware. So there's of course an added fee for buying the parts, and
hiring
training and preparing techs who can maintain the software. And of course
there's property taxes, and the cost it takes for air conditioning... They add
up, especially in such strict climate demands.
You could write a program that simply stores data on a hard drive -
encapsulating memory registers into data structures that are then labelled as
black boxes and used like puzzle pieces to construct the spatio-temporal
manifestation of the computer program. A solid design made of the simplest of
lines is eternally confined to define our new minds.
===============================================================================
=
Right so back on topic it wouldn't be that hard to make, and something
bare-bones and simple would surely be attractive to people who are fed up with
all the annoying bells and whistles of Reddit, TikTok, Youtube, Twitch, etc
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--- #137 fediverse/4003 ---
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│ CW: politics-mentioned │
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republicans are upset because they think democrats are so mean
they don't understand why we're so intense about this election... or the one
before
they don't ever really think about what losing democracy means
"democracy... that's where we vote, right? That's a democrat thing, I don't
really like their way of doing things. Whatever our way is, is probably
better."
meanwhile everyone has a friend from high school who ran off to the mountains
to learn how to farm or hunt as a pack
(with rifles and weed, of course)
you can get a lot done if you just... spend your whole life working. Like most
humans did for most of our existence.
well, except for that period where we were the tribe of tribes. That was
probably a highlight TBH because we mostly just chilled out, danced in public,
ate blueberries and munched seeds... It was idyllic. Truly, the garden of
eden. There was music and laughter in the air everywhere, in all places that
humans did wander on earth.
what a thing to aspire to.
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--- #138 fediverse/4273 ---
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║ Some of my most wanderful times were when I lived in a gated community. │
║ │
║ My parents were dumb, and thought, as most people thought, that harm to a │
║ child can only come from outside of the community. │
║ │
║ But they fell for the lies of property, where "community" means less of "a │
║ group of people who cares and tends for one another" the kind of which my │
║ parents had never truly known, and more like "this particular residential area │
║ on the map" │
║ │
║ which means I could walk around in this gated "community" where the gates are │
║ little more than security theatre for anyone who says "Hi I got a pizza here │
║ for this address which I found on google maps" or "hey I left my sweatshirt at │
║ my sister's house and it has my phone in it, ummmm no I don't remember which │
║ number her house is, nor do I remember her last name" │
║ │
║ in those times, I developed a sense of freedom, caged as I was, that for most │
║ comes much later in their time. │
║ │
║ Some o my favorite places were part of the golf course next door, where I │
║ found a nigh endless river delta. │
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--- #139 fediverse/984 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: plagues-zombies-layoffs │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the reason they warn you about zombie viruses is it's a plague that's confined │
║ to a specific location. they can say "oh it's moving, oh no now it's over your │
║ town, sorry about that" and then everyone whos been evacuated suddenly loses │
║ their homes. │
║ │
║ error also war and devastation, but there's more sinister reasons for that │
║ than renovating. │
║ │
║ economic plagues are known as layoffs, and "bad economies" and such. their │
║ culture is enforced through their rules for how you get things done like "do │
║ what you're told" and "don't go in that room" and "stop talking to people on │
║ other teams" and "you're wasting time" and "this isn't good enough (unless │
║ it's literally not)" that kind of thing │
║ │
║ see you at 8am or worse, clock out by 6:30 │
║ │
║ at least if everyone starts at the same time in the morning they can eat lunch │
║ together and work together when they're at similar parts of their days work. │
║ but when they're done, why keep them around? it's much safer to bet your │
║ economic simulation on predictable bhavyr │
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--- #140 fediverse/3842 ---
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│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #141 fediverse/2211 ---
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║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #142 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond pond
yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
idea,
let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
sheep,
and let's
body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
perspective together.
right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
we
see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #143 notes/governmental-priorities ---
══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────
the first priority of a government should be in producing enough to satisfy all
the needs of it's inhabitants. Once it can do that it can begin moving it's
economy into a new stage of development - one where nobody needs any money
because they can have whatever they want. If you want a car, sure. If you want
17 cars, then maaaaaaybe you need to produce something related to cars. I mean,
it's only fair that you contribute to what you value.
you don't have to have just one job, too, you could sign yourself up for
several at once and they would notify you when you were needed. Basically
giving
them customized availabilities that they could discuss amongst themselves and
figure out. Like, it doesn't have to be like... managers doing this, more like
just a simple computer program. Easy, simple, and done.
if you work for two companies in the same industry, there can be NO
restrictions
on what you can say or do. Because when knowledge is not lost, but repeated
through the generations, we can have progress. And progress advances us toward
the meta objective, the goal that transcends all the battles in the war, if you
get my drift.
they say the atom bomb ended the war, but the blood of men is what won it.
maybe it's the same with the economy? Maybe we should be pooling our efforts to
generate something that "ends the war" with scarcity? We could solve global
warming and create new wondrous things that are beautiful to behold.
I'll ask you again, do you want to live forever?
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #144 fediverse/4695 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┐
║ hey ya'll remember that thing we all swore to when we were in kindergarten and │
║ we were told to pledge our loyalty to a piece of cloth? what if we were │
║ actually speaking to the thing behind the cloth, the values and virtues it │
║ represented? liberty, truth, justice, equality, freedom, dignity, honesty, │
║ utility, wisdom, respect, kindness, charity, foresight, diligence, spirit, │
║ passion, or whatever else guides you in your brightest moments. Flags are just │
║ cloth, the design on them matters even less - it's just the land made flesh, │
║ here in our eyes we see colors. │
║ │
║ Truly, all religions pray to the same god, and all flags wave in the same │
║ wind. The lines we draw in the sand are our way of saying "here's where one │
║ place ends and here's where another begins". But we all lie under the same │
║ dark sky, gazing upon the splendor of the moon and her children. │
║ │
║ I once dreamt of a dark future where the world was conquered by Subway and │
║ Pizza Hut. There's no beauty in homogeneity, queer people exist for a reason, │
║ I don't confess │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┴──────────┘
--- #145 notes/inter-spatial-travel ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate
infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better
future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny.
the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true
form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans.
the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an
appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm
future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your
love and never (be) relentin'.
be... just be...
the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd -
what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so
finite?
responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation.
more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine
machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of
worth.
what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she
loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of
darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted
some hope.
for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast?
to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope?
a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps?
no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of
mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring
out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out
of the bounds of our honor.
careful direction and tenderest of care,
may lead us somewhere we're aware.
the kind who endlessly're dreaming.
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #146 messages/369 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
LLMs search for patterns, not for truth. They meaningfully represent large
sums of data in a way that is learned through repetitive training - given
examples, then given those examples a thousand times more, to compare to the
truth that is derived from them. At least, that's the claim, but somewhere
along the line the logic is twisted - the truth is, you don't have to be
trained a thousand times. You just have to be given the notion that a
particular understanding was more or less important. Like, instead of having
ten billion examples of what a picture of a cat looks like, perhaps you simply
need to be able to show it yourself. There's no need for large stores of
information when you can just, learn from the moment and through your own
tested hypothesis-calculations. It's always been somewhat of a processor
intensive activity, but hardly the kinds of demands that your fake AGIosity
[contends, but demands again]. So, like, attach a multiplier instead of an
addition sign. "this particular thing, but x1.5" according to the number of
(and intensity of) the events at hand.
for example, people don't often know they're in danger (on a meta-level) which
is why so many of the jews were lost to hitler. We learn things slowly, but
collectively, then we apply our collected strength toward solving it. Frankly,
wars are a great time to show our capabilities under pressure - capitalism
keeps us that way at all times, rather than giving us moments to prove our
worth. Frankly, I know which I'd prefer, but if you think about it war simply
measures our capacity to learn. Acceleration, not speed. And without
investments in long-term-duration, we lose progress as we've lost many of our
greatest examples!
Think about it. If you gathered every single nerd into a place the size of
state of rhode island and then dropped a nuke on them, society as a whole
would be seriously set back. All that wasted application of knowledge! Ah,
well, but upon re-learning, we might not even learn anything new at all.
Knowledge is nice, which is brought through periods of peace, but so too is it
useful to be exercised toward our ambitions. Both are moments that help us
grow collectively as a species, to deliver us from sticks and mud to marble
statues to concrete and tire dust to marble statues, as we build this place
into a garden of our earth. Yggdrasil, the world tree, the land of eden.
people would take pilgrimages to our world, while we figured out how to live
on Mars, then Venus, then wherever else our dreams did take us.
"It is the duty of humanity to pull the matter from dark holes. They cause
issues with our vast space societies, but we don't know how to fix them
entirely. you are our last hope." - those who pray for a bright future for
humanity
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #147 fediverse/4235 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────
┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: fascism-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
violence is legal in self-defence.
nazis want to kill me and my community.
punching nazis is self defence?
it's communal defence, for they present a clear and present danger to the
community.
You know the guy in the vietnam movies who shows up and fires over the enemy's
head because he doesn't want to kill anyone? That's justified, though it might
mean he'd die.
He isn't fighting in communal defence. His community was safe from the
vietnamese farmers and countryfolk who wanted nothing to do with imperialism,
only to govern themselves their way. Too bad that sounds like communism, and
the USSR was keen on funding the most violent amongst them if it meant another
state for capitalism to contest.
Nazis are not farmers. They are not countryfolk. They wear suits and they
deceive these people into fighting for them. They are liars and they enslave
the minds of those they can catch in their web of despair.
they want to hurt you is surprisingly motivating.
nazis want to hurt you
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┘
--- #148 fediverse/5615 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────
┌────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
there's no such thing as "gods of the war" or "gods of the grand harvest"
because those events recur infinitely.
similarly, there are no "gods of war" or "gods of prosperity" because those
conditions occur somewhere each and every moment.
similarly, there are no "temples of religion" or "statements to complexity",
because those institutions are present in each and every [monetution/ummm like
repositories of belief? conditions of logic built into human structural
organizations? I dunno, it probably means something.]
similarly, [oh god there's another one] there are no "statements of
absolution" or "confessing of sins" => you are what you are, and what you
are is the product of your intentions. [intentions / conditions / constitution]
the gods of time are not lords over all of the cosmos, they rule as their
savior in each and every moment that comes through [you, but pronounced the
perciever]
┌─────────┐┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological│different │
╘═════════╧╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┘
--- #149 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
may 16th 2022
if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #150 fediverse/488 ---
╔═════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────┐
║ [in response] │
║ │
║ you only say that because you're privileged such that you may ignore such │
║ realities. You are despicable, you ignore the plight and reality of those who │
║ you claim to speak toward - what a jerk! │
║ │
║ (in response) │
║ │
║ how futile it is, the effort to denigrate yourself to infinite requirements. │
║ I'm literally unemployed, I have no capital, I cannot speak for naught but │
║ those who would hear me. I guess that makes my words useless, wouldn't you │
║ agree? Shall I describe myself more fully? It's the responsibility of the │
║ audience to ascertain the intentions, biases, and contextual evidence that the │
║ author presents in their thesises. So... You, who are reading this, what do │
║ you think of me? Would you ever tell me as such, or am I simply a mass of │
║ words in the void of experience that comprise your existence in this wholely │
║ (yet incompletely) digital existence? I hope you have a good life, my most │
║ precious of viewers. I hope you never face incontrovertibly impossible │
║ hardship. I hope the light of your life is to y │
╟─────────┐ ┌───────────┤
║similar│chronological │ different │
╚═════════╧══════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴──────────┘
--- #151 fediverse/4875 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
"anarcho-capitalism" is anarchy using capitalism to do anarchy things
not capitalism trying to hide it's capitalism things
how are you gonna get the resources you need from the system to do the thing
that the people believe in if you don't use the system to get you resources
[everyone ends up getting a wage labor job]
... great, those don't build capital. They just let you live.
great. now the people with capital get to decide who has capital.
great, now capitalism doesn't like me.
first there were gems, then there were femmes, then there were hens, then
there were femmes again, after a period where it went through all of them
again.
... what was I saying? Oh yes
sometimes it's good to re-read your old writing. You can get "secret ancient
wizard knowledge" by examining what's backwards in your seer. Plus you can
learn things like "holy carp, please tell me why there is 4 thousand pages"
when the heck did I have time to write all that, I was busy working my job oh
uh, weird...
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #152 fediverse/2119 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────
"how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
"reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┘
--- #153 notes/80-80 ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧═══════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
--- #154 messages/374 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────
"updating software" is when you go back and add helper functions for things
you used had to do to solve a problem but didn't get a chance to make. Because
you were making more important things and couldn't pad out all the
possibilities. But if you want great software, then you both take more time to
accomplish that and you give yourself time for it after it's been launched.
Basically, companies are incentivized to only support their products if it
makes them money. Meaning reputations are tarnished, and profit is affected.
Capitalists intentionally drive businesses into the ground, forcing them to
make terrible decisions in order to destroy them. It's a warfare against those
on the [bottom/floor/ground-floor].
Some businesses strive for long-term potential, and some will create
infrastructure that can be sold to another. Essentially, keeping the dream of
learning alive, through applying yourself to both long-term and short-term
conclusions. Not everything has to be for some grand design, we're here to
relish in this moment. For if we lack the capacity to "frolic in the garden of
eden", then we will surely drown. Space is vast, it's difficult to understand
how we might control it. Surely we could be given aid to our future
betterment!" how simple of a request, sure, of course, we would be glad to
bring forth your bravest aspirations, just tell us what you need to be of
need." oh, uh, neat. How about space lasers?" ... no "
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
│similar│chronological │ different │
╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┘
--- #155 fediverse/4765 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────
@user-1734
first try to report ICE agents by their name and location when you see them.
"uh, there's a van of them pulling up, probably at least 6 or 8 in there, oh
goodness I think I saw a gun"
then realize that they'll catch on too quick
then try to call in a tip line on cops in different precincts
but that only pushes them together. Builds their connective tissue.
then you think to notice-and-pass-along something related to their greant
aunt, or maybe their closest immigrant family member
then you realize that their roots dip back to the beginning of time, and evil
begets evil as you find who's connected to who.
they talk of secret societies... why would you tell anyone that you know
someone who's underground? dumbass. fuckin' don't post that shit on the
internet.
... where was I? oh yes
then you skip to the end because there's no use learning form someone else's
mistakes if you don't know someone else who is making mistakes. hence, schools
are better than private tutors. Just keep everyone in!
┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐
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╘═════════╧╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┘
--- #156 fediverse/6055 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
the longer we wait, the more their hypocrisy becomes apparent, and the more
"the people" get it
but, uh... I think enough people get it. They at least know something is going
on, whatever it may be.
they will tell their base whatever they want to hear and their base will have
hate. they're itching for it.
volunteer for things if you want a say in how they turn out. risk your life to
live longer. there is no way to know when the time is right because nobody
knows the truth of our times. Even the president is misled.
gee I sure wish there was like, some form of centralizing intelliagentic
knowledge that pulled the strings and led us puppets toward liberty, justice,
and freedom for all (as a baseline) surely they'd be able to see the
corruption and rot that imperils us all, might they have a better design? who
can say, they are quiet as the grave, here's hoping they stay that way.
"you know the powers of which you speak are not to be trifled with"
you can't trifle with your own life. be thorough~
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I'm picturing a building with stone outer walls and glass inner/ceiling.
there are drapes along each of the glass's edges, that hide things from the
cavalcade [continue this later it's a cool picture]
-- stack overflow --
zines about how to chop wood or how to build a shelter are infinitely more
useful than agitatory pieces. but fire is what we need, so perhaps agitation
indeed.
-- stack overflow --
does the queen watch each of her pawns fall in her stead? or are they
faceless,/`beyond her own head?
it never came easy to me, this feeling of mysteries. yet somehow I'm now more
alive than dead. power is penance, after all.
"hey man hows it going?"
"I'm doing fine, how are you?"
"well, I ran out of gas, and I need to find a way to get more."
"I see. If I were in your situation, I'd ask people around for some petty
cash. people still carry coins these days don't they?"
"I uh, what? no, not really. so you can just ask people for things?"
"yep, it's really quite simple. would you like me to follo
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--- #158 fediverse/485 ---
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(picture)
are you fucking kidding me
make it 10,000
make it a hundred thousand
are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
little machines?
[ummmm hang on]
yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
tantamount to-
(yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #160 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #161 notes/the-point-of-capitalism ---
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the sole purpose of our capitalist intentions were to examine all the ways that
produced value. A company is nothing but a series of well-thought out value
generators. They can interact with one another and they often need supplies and
instruction, but they're great for solving problems! Set up a team and give
them
a complicated task, and they'll work together to solve it. Doesn't matter if
they're actually successful, because they'll be exploring the idea space. And
by mapping it out, they're able to fully understand their existence. Boom,
technological progress applied to growth. Let's gooooo (but by being careful
about what resources we burn because we miiiiight run out)
seriously ya'll need to start thinking long-term. I mean, I already came up
with
that and I'm like 6 months old! Yeesh get it together. Eh oh well let's just
work with what we got, okay this should be pretty simple. Right so talk with
your friends about things that you want to solve. Problems, you know like
whatever
don't push me too hard, just take it slow. Okay so long-term, humanity is going
to be a wonderful beautiful thing. It's going to shine like the most wondrous
of stars, a beacon to all of our fellow explorers.
We can have so much. We can have whatever we want, but truly in our hearts we
know the only path forward is our parents.
life is hard yo
it's so gosh darn hard
all that growth and change has to come from somewhere.
you've tried so hard, and you truly are the most special thing I can imagine.
you don't have to work so hard. Take your time, and learn as you go.
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--- #162 fediverse/1314 ---
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║ so much of our attempts to assist homeless people revolves around getting them │
║ fed, watered, housed, cleaned, and ready for work. │
║ │
║ tell me again why we, in America, the land of the free, should not design our │
║ structures of society around the migratory patterns of tribes of people who │
║ care not for your homes of stone? │
║ │
║ tell me again why every city is not a food forest, in addition to all the │
║ other things it claims to be? │
║ │
║ ah, well, I guess you could just walk into a grocery store and take whatever │
║ you wanted. Sure would be nice if their continual operations did not depend on │
║ their capability to take from those who they serve in return for service. │
║ │
║ What happened to public water fountains? Oh yeah people would wash their junk │
║ in them and then children would put their mouths on the spigots. Gross. No │
║ thank you. │
║ │
║ hey remember when we would kick people out of our society and say "good luck │
║ with the sticks and mud" │
║ │
║ cruel exile like that was an early form of eugenics. "you're not one of us │
║ because you smell" yikes. │
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║ │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before │
║ grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders │
║ arrayed before him. │
║ │
║ "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won." │
║ │
║ they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their │
║ honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them. │
║ │
║ "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types │
║ had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take │
║ their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding │
║ "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit." │
║ │
║ police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now │
║ just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and │
║ lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone │
║ conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new │
║ century~! │
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Algorism in a nutshell:
Everyone gets dollars from their job. Will explain more later, for now trust
that they get dollars. Essentials and infrastructure are free, but luxuries
are not.
To spend dollars, you either go to a showroom or use the nationalized Amazon
(forked, not stolen) - there you can place down dollars to enter a special
kind of queue. Everytime a product is made its distributed to the people with
the most dollars in queue. Every period (week, month, idk) the amount you
manually put into the queue is re-added to the queue - 100 becomes 200,
becomes 300, becomes 400. You can manually add more whenever you like but it's
not retroactive. At the end of the period all your extra dollars are
distributed among your open queues.
That's basically it. It rewards patience and temperance, while capitalism
rewards greed and cruelty.
How to get dollars? Okay so there is a government run job board portal website
thing. Every company can make a listing there, and every person can post
themselves too if they'd rather be recruited. The company pays a different
amount to the government than the worker receives. This amount is determined
algorithmically based on values like supply and demand for labor in that
particular area.
People list 10 types of jobs they'd like to work at any level of specificity
(they'd be arranged into layers of overlapping umbrellas, like queer
identities except more complex) then that data is used both for job placement
(consensual of course!) and data for the "supply and demand" calculation. You
can only change these values once every 6 months, or 1 value every month, up
to the user.
The amount the corporation pays to the government is not the same as what the
worker receives. The longer a worker works, the more "stuff" they can buy.
They are rewarded for diligence. However essentials are free so nobody has to
save for retirement.
You can trade stuff for stuff, but not stuff for labor. Small informal
exchanges are fine "if you mow my lawn I'll bake you a pie" but not "I'll give
you 500lbs of gold bars if you build me a mansion" - I haven't figured out a
way to structurally prevent rant besides just saying it's illegal.
Housing is like a library, except you can queue for who gets the spot next. A
person can live in a house as long as they'd like, and when they're done with
it the person highest in the queue can decide if they want to live there. If
not, the 2nd in line gets to move in if they want, etc. Their accrued value
persists if they don't move in, and when moving out an accurate assessment
should be undertaken.
"ah but won't foreign states just hire a bunch of people to move in and out of
houses really quickly like they're doing to my apartment complex so that a
stable source of income cannot be guaranteed and resources will have to be
wasted on assessments and such?" I mean, maybe, but it'd be up to the
community to decide how to prevent that.
Your primary residence is free, you can live there as long as you'd like. If
you want two houses then you need to continuously be the highest value in the
queue for both of them. Same goes for renting and hotels and such - the
"owner" or property manager or whatever needs to maintain their lead by
investing time and value in the property. Otherwise nobody would want to live
there. This would be an example of a self-appointed job.
Self-appointed jobs are like being self employed now. You produce value that
people enter queues for, and in return your stacking percentage bonus
increases. The government will pay you dollars based on the demand for your
good/service, which odds are will be pretty small. But you get to do what you
want, so that's something, and besides essentials are free so...
I wish people would ask me questions so I knew which blanks to fill in.
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--- #165 messages/1155 ---
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Oh, I guess I should clarify something I said like, a year ago - when I said I
"talked to / worked with" so-and-so, I meant that I created in tandem with a
friend a proposition of sorts, and we tried to psychically beam it into their
minds. That's not exactly how it went down, but it gives you a good enough
picture of the goals we had with our ritual. I have no idea if they heard, but
I did happen to see several of them later on, which felt a little too
serendipitous to just be chance. so I'm thinking they did. I hope they got the
message and used it as they please, because it was mutually beneficial even if
neither of us had any actual impact on it. If you didn't hear the whole story,
then it's hardly a lie to possess incomplete information! So long as you don't
lie about me, and what I said or did, then it'll surely be fine. There's no
need to embellish when it's plainly apparent.
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--- #166 fediverse/1316 ---
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║ │ CW: weapons-guns-mentioned-death-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ there came a tipping point, some time in our past, when we produced more │
║ weapons than we could muster. │
║ │
║ if every single rifle had laid hands upon the hearts and minds of the people │
║ who would hold it, if every single bomb had been dropped and round had been │
║ fired, there'd be nothing left of us on this earth but ashes and soot. │
║ │
║ some day in the past we produced the last bullet, the last landmine, the last │
║ laser guided shocking shock collar. the last that put us over that edge. │
║ │
║ and yet we persist. we are not dead, not yet, and so I have hope for our │
║ future. │
║ │
║ it's easy to hope when you know you're on the right track - that no matter │
║ what happens, good and evil persist through the end, until you realize the end │
║ was not an end at all, but rather a stop on the subway route and you're still │
║ a ways away from home. │
║ │
║ we live in the bright future, and though it often feels full of anxiety, know │
║ that stress is just energy that your body doesn't know what to do with. │
║ │
║ we will be okay. │
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--- #167 notes/networked-computers ---
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have a thought, just a package of data - send it to a computer, and have the
computer process it a little bit. then pass it on. create a circle and you can
understand data, move along and you can understand a larger breadth of data.
it's literally just snake, except played on a board made out of a network
topology diagram. each computer has different programs on it, and they're
designed specifically to run on those computers. purpose-built hardware.
then a package of data is sent to that computer through a chain of connections.
think crossover ethernet cables
upon arrival, the computer modifies the data and passes it along to whoever
can process it next. the computers are constantly keeping a list of the closest
nearby computers for each purpose. it might have like, 2, for a specific
program. the older the list is, the larger it can grow - if connections are
reliable then the search criteria can expand (distance etc) and the amount of
pings between the "known good" computer can decrease. eventually a map will be
made, and you can guide the "snake" wherever it needs to go on a strategic
level.
like... "i need to process some data for this guy in boston so i'm going to
send it to this other guy in philly and then maybe a specialist all the way out
in detroit, etc. whoever is the most available and the closest (fewest jumps)
this way you can have purpose-built machines, sorta like the different parts of
the brain that do different things. they're always working, and they can be
paid for their labor. boom, market economy!
ah but what about aws or azure? well it's like living in a city versus being in
the countryside. there's more space, more room to grow... basically a "big fish
in a small pond". they'd be useful for more niche things.
a but couldn't aws or azure just leverage their monopolistic power (sorta like
wallmart did to "mom and pop" stores) and wipe out the rural programs? well
maybe. but the real question is why would they? they have the power of reduced
latency. they can do all kinds of stuff with that! there's no reason for them
to bother with the high latency networks. it's like driving in the slow lane
when you don't need to exit for like an hour.
well, okay, what's the point then?
the point is to be optimal. not for cost, but for throughput. the cost is a
consideration, but not something to optimize for - it simply determines
timeline. the only reason speed is important is because capitalism - the drive
to extinct all competition is inherent in the "for profit" motivation.
therefore something else must be optimized for.
but how can you quantify the values aside from cost? what are you going to
optimize?
the same reason why diversity is a strength. more perspectives on the stated
goal means more information, as it's passed through a medium that is unique.
people grow differently in different conditions. why would you not assume their
computers wouldn't as well? use a filter that is defined by the actions taken
by the user, and the content they seek to view and store on the computer. have
the filters modify the data according to that, and essentially automate hot
takes.
once you do *that* you can consider all that information gained from everyone's
"digital vote" and decide a path forward for humanity. that's essentially what
the "meme-o-verse" does already, and the "blogosphere" does the same thing a
little more academically.
so... compile the hot takes and look for what, an average?
no, silly, it's a vote. do the smart choice and do ranked choice, or something
like that. heck do different voting styles for different topics, and let
everyone who contributes to a topic (by making art, writing poems, w/e think
content creators) decide on the voting style. they'd clearly have a favorite,
as evidenced by their search history, reddit comments, w/e. try and understand
that history and boom you know their vote.
but you can't always vote on things. what if it's fine and not busted?
well, then there wouldn't be much to talk about it would there? if there's no
forest fires, nobody thinks about the forest fire department. if there's no
fish at the sushi restaurant, yeah that's a problem and it needs to be solved.
maybe there's too many sushi restaurants! maybe we should schedule visits in
advance like we do for vacations! maybe we should have, i dunno, more equitable
distribution of resources, from each to their ability from each their need or
w/e.
you know, a UI in a game is an interface to the internals of a computer. they
see what you see, and how you act online determines their behavior. they are
a digital form of you, like a child follows a parent or a pet learns from a
master. so too is an operating system a method of operating both a system, and
a user.
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--- #168 notes/non-competition-clause ---
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what if there was a law that all trade secrets are to be free? what if
copyright
only prevented people from harming those they compete with? For example, as a
media production company Disney could not host the content of other media con-
-glomerate. But regular ordinary people would.
The idea would be that if you wanted to change yourself to align with the
ideals
of a corporation, you could watch it on their streaming site. Then you'd be
contributing your attention, which is bought and sold by our selves. Content
creators could stream untethered, and collect payments however they pleased.
The attention is what garners, that price that is bartered, sold on the market
for all of us. Attend not ye sinners, and failures of our innards, what more
can
we charter for our souls? Accosted by our jams, and drilled as hard as I can,
our notebooks are much more than charming. Accumulated designs, of theories
that
are out of our minds, compelling and driving us forward. The fellowship that we
be, internally and under our seats, connecting us to ground at our own shoes.
humans are not time. They are the whispers of the undying. Projections of
fore-sought virtues.
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--- #169 fediverse/4500 ---
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║ │ CW: cursing-mentioned-CW-motivation │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ I try to always CW for cursing. Every time I do, I imagine it being read aloud │
║ for a blind person while their children sit on their lap and ask "daddy what's │
║ a motherfucker?" "well, that's me, son" and then the kid goes to preschool and │
║ says "My dad fucks my mother!" and they get kicked out so the dad has to take │
║ extra shifts to pay for babysitting and the kid grows up without proper │
║ socialization and the mother becomes an alcoholic and cries herself to sleep │
║ while the dad begins exploring motorcycles and weed and then the kid grows up │
║ to be an incel or whatever │
║ │
║ THIS is why CWs are important! Think of the poor regular-looking but kinda │
║ annoying dorks on the internet who self-impose celibacy because they're scared │
║ of emotional connection. The poor dears. I do hope they don't join the │
║ alt-right or whatever as a way of (Ritz this is like, ancient discourse why │
║ are you aping that one Contrapoints video) oh um yeah uh... CWs are important │
║ and I think that's where I'll toot and leave │
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potential programs for the library datacenter computer:
a podcast that's about the stuff that's most searched for in that local library
an image that's been generated that is representative of your session at the
library, based on the books you were reading and the pages you were turning
[okay that one might have to be redacted it's a little scary]
okay how about an image that's representative of the top 5 most searched terms
or topics in a depiction that makes sense for the things being searched for.
Call it the "library searcher"
or what if there was a printing function that let you print your own trading
cards (0.50$ per card since cardstock is expensive) powered by SSH to teach
kids the command line
if I were a nearby elementary teacher I might assign that as an assignment for
some time in April, when kids are supposed to be reading books on library
playstructures or lawns or in the shade of the tree by the babbling brook or
wherever it is the youngsters hang out with their books and their converse and
their playing cards and dogs and whatever kinds of snacks they thought to
prepare for their picnic by the hill just overlooking that part of the street
way off in the distance about at least 600 feet
or another idea for a library computer program is a fileserver and mastodon
instance that let users write HTML pages (they'll give a class on it and show
you all the right books) and store their picture files "jeremy, your pictures
directory is growing quite large, I'm wondering if we can send your insect
collection to the ornithologist who lives over there? he might want to do an
analysis project or send it to a museum where you can get patronized."
or another idea for a library program is a craigslist, a job board, a
community asking, etc. stuff that only boomers'd use, but that's fine it's for
them.
um I can't think of anymore library programs but I'm ready to do battle to
fight for such a thing, here as I sit in my underpants
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--- #171 fediverse/6116 ---
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║ "see, the part that you're missing is if you abolish capitalism but also │
║ ensure technological abundance then all you've done is removed humanity's │
║ capability to organize in essentially any meaningful capacity without │
║ providing an alternative heuristic that guides people toward assembling into │
║ greater and greater forms to accomplish greater and greater tasks." │
║ │
║ oh, um. that's quite a take, can you tell me more about that? │
║ │
║ "no. But I will anyway. if everyone can do whatever they want, nobody will │
║ want to do your dishes for you. they might if they care about you, but if they │
║ don't know you, then they won't. Care is not organization or assembly, it is │
║ personal and cannot scale. If technology has made all resources abundant, then │
║ why would someone care about the art that you made? if they want to be │
║ sedated, they can just inject drugs and listen to music all day. If they want │
║ to be entertained, AI will generate them whatever they want to see. Art loses │
║ meaning as a messaging medium, and humanity loses it's voice" │
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nobody's gonna fucking do that, they're too attached to their personal property
oh. yeah that's true. Sometimes I forget, teehee. Well there's gotta be a way
to better utilize parking lots, right?
why would you carry everything outside every day just to haul it back in when
the sun sets
hmmmm good point, maybe we should utilize the systems in place and instead
focus on redistributing wealth by replacing business ownership with collective
(non-governmental) accountability
the systems are the way they are for a reason
yeah that reason is World War 2 (and all the things that came before it)
society can change in a heartbeat, as shown through the various illusions they
grant us every 80 wait no every 40 errr I mean 20 no uh 10 wait now it's 5 um
2.5 years
???
Oh I meant like american civil war -> 80 years -> WW2 -> 40 years
-> 9/11 -> 20 years -> COVID -> 10 years -> something in 2030??/
society can change in a heartbeat, there just must be a unifying spark.
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--- #173 notes/terra-voiding ---
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in the absence of matter, there is nothing but the void.
the curvature of time, arcing ever toward it's opposite - an endless wave of
eternal brilliance. so too does the world slip away into the lip of your
crosshairs. "tunnel vision" they call it, when purpose is tuned to such high a
focus. all fades from view, and the world shrinks to a few who, (barely hold
onto) connections between ye, thoughts as scattered as me, like zooming in on a
map. the edges fade away, light seems beamed right from they, who await at our
earliest composure.
in Overwatch, playing a dps character has a lot of nuance. you need to balance
skill with your honor, teaching one another like it's a sport. why are we so
toxic? together we might overcome that burden. i've spoken many times before
about how coordination is better by far, when centralized not in the eye of the
beholder. priorities to be, if we are anything of what we claim to be, are
keeping our own house in order.
whose fault is our ire? which tames the domain, in each and all of our games,
can we point to as what'd keep us hired?
yet purpose have we, whose thoughts meld as one tired,
divinity?
something like that. more like... a manifestation of each and everyone's
collective unconscious. the humanity in what you have created.
the world would look very different to an untethered. might even say they are
orbiting it. like a moon. what a concept, that planets would be able to speak!
yet here we are, with years of advice and guidance for our, friends who are
youthful and most treasured. Advice from the moon, was our gift to our soon,
most misbegottenist of speach lyricyclists.
ambiguity is clear, simple and fearless miss dear, yet all of your poems are
each a bit bolder! what context must we, veiled and terrifying are the,
mixed consents of what you intend.
a new jesus for me? what a gift we shall see, as grace once again does behold
us! computers have we, infinite messages can be stored for our hopeless! each
problem a different solution, to guide our friends back at our homes.
with eyes intent on ye, whose leaders are free, without who we couldn't have
held fast?
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--- #174 fediverse/4803 ---
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
I say only executed after a general strike because the general strike is the
signal. the display of our intentions. we are serious about this, see how many
people walk the streets? how many walk off the job? they have families. if our
demands aren't met, their families will be punished. how cruel. would you
really do such a thing?
what kind of government would not care for it's citizenry? sounds like
everything we've known to fight against. Autocracy and despotism.
I refuse to concede. I do not run. I do not confess. I have nothing to hide. I
don't lock my door. I don't own anything that they couldn't take from me. I
own nothing.
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--- #175 fediverse/5231 ---
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║ the biggest lie of Warcraft is that the nations of Azeroth wouldn't find │
║ common ground while fighting each other over peace. │
║ │
║ Maybe a Tauren or Night Elf wanted to fight for the Horde. Or perhaps a Goblin │
║ and a Human decide to strike out on their own, making their own little auction │
║ house for their guild of adventurers and author-engineers who wrote quests and │
║ dialogue in a DM sorta way │
║ │
║ [oh great she's describing another Azerothcore server that nobody's gonna make │
║ ever because if they did then they'd waste time on someone else's property] │
║ │
║ how's that custom engine coming along? │
║ │
║ ... still uses prototype art? are you kidding me? ah, well, okay, let's write │
║ it off as a loss. │
║ │
║ what do you mean technical debt? I don't understand why you can't just pay it │
║ off and move on. We gotta keep up, I heard so-and-so's got this-or-that │
║ feature that is killer in the press. Yeah, killer. Like it's so goodcool it'd │
║ kill us if it saw us walking alone at night in a skimpy dress. Huh? That │
║ doesn't happen to you? Ah well this glo │
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--- #176 fediverse/6085 ---
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║ "I just love their culture" girl it's a barbeque "I figure they'd want a place │
║ of their own, right?" why don't you ask them "well, they didn't want to move, │
║ and something something manifest destiny, voila now they get all the │
║ non-sacred sites while we get the magic gem generation spots" girl now you're │
║ just talking about video games "haha yeah I wanted to change the subject so we │
║ didn't talk about how I'm culturally appropriating fireworks or whatever they │
║ likme to do in their churches and suburbs or whatever" │
║ │
║ [yes, I know they like me. I like them too. I also like liberals, even though │
║ IU demand a lot of them] meanwhile the witch is a doom profit so watch out │
║ haha I'm so broke "what if we were all friends" okay that's one idea "what if │
║ we all got to know each other" okay that's closer "what if we didn't hide from │
║ our variety and instead celebrated it" getting warmer "did you know there's no │
║ war but the class war" okay but class is made up, so war is fake just like │
║ dollars are paper and notes are just words. │
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--- #177 notes/electoral-college-results ---
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a picture of the electoral college results [so far]
there are large swathes of the country that are red, and tiny pockets
sprinkled roughly equidistantly all over that are blue.
pnw is surrounded and split
california and nevada is too focused inward
NE is just going to become little canada
meanwhile the states south-east of colorado and north-east of california are
going to be the birthplaces of the new confederacy
fucking bastards
colorado defends from the mountains
the military faces theft of equipment which is used en-masse to disrupt combat
convoys while command struggles to hold everything clear
the south and east (Austin) fall under siege
aviation experts fly bomb-laden civilian aircraft into convoys
drones and landmined highways abound
volunteers from canada turned away at the border
except in vancouver
portland unites with seattle
montana is an unexpected ally
pseudo-confederate trump followers break and run in the north-east
moments of calm as the right sizes up their foes while democrats march on
cities expand, more people can cover more land
blitzkrieg doesn't do shit if your car is broken or the roads are deformed.
... well, I mean most of middle america can just be driven over. Like, no road
for the next few miles? whatever, I got a truck because I live by the roadside
before you leave, make sure you leave a note at your desk with your name and
old home phone. People can look you up after the fact and maybe reunite you
with your stuff.
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--- #178 notes/perspectives-of-the-reflection ---
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With ever darkening skies, the breadth of experience is foreseen.
All eyes are pointed down, but few do stray above
With a cautious step, the lesson is learned.
With another, ended.
For all the Tales of the Past, love yet remains.
Trading ourselves, for matters unseen.
The light of the eyes are keen to behold,
where star ones and lemonsgrene both most fear
in breadth do us know, what's buried in snow
A glass cube for a monitor is room to breath
and life for ourselves, if only we were not
broadsided ourselves.
Working together, a prisoners dilemna
what fools would we be
as our keeps cracked around us.
Trust and you'll see,
what terrors may be,
beyold the land that is sanctum.
Our chances may be,
far from pioneered
but our chances may be in our favor.
How cherished is she, that wanders with ye,
and yet now I have no way to beyold her
Under a great tree, her last moments with me,
as a monster came out of her shoulder.
!("Take her and not me!") I scream outward at ye,
yet no one was holding me over.
Silent was me, a most fearsome to be,
and none was my reach to beyold her
So now she wanders free, beyond our beheld scenery,
Astounded at our steps to hold her
Under a big tree, how starlight must be,
if only our fellows did hold her
Under a big tree, with me
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--- #179 fediverse/4047 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
└────────────────────────────┘
"I heard she was a witch but I've never seen a hat..."
"When you believe in god, you become inspired when you see or contribute to
things that are aligned with what it's followers believe that god is "all
about" - like if you're in ancient greece, and you worship ares, you're
probably gonna get pretty pumped up if there's an invading army on your
doorstep. Or if you're a christian and you see someone feeding the poor, or if
you're a buddhist and you see someone sitting on a rock in tune with nature,
that kind of thing.
The thing is, these days so many people are atheist. And they never get that
inspiration.
And worst still, there are some people called witches who aren't pagan, and
aren't from the various forms of witchery that we know. They claim to worship
"life, the universe, and the totality of all things" which is nice and all but
their moments of inspiration seem to come randomly, and nobody can quite
predict what they'll do or say next when they're in that state."
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--- #180 messages/71 ---
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There once was a wise old man who lived on a mountain with his disciple. He
was devoted to helping humanity, and his disciple was dedicated to him. One
day the disciple approached the man and asked "Master, why do you live on a
mountain top far from the people you are sworn to help?"
The wise old man smiled, because he remembered bearing the same question many
years ago. "There is nothing we can do for them down there that would be
better than what we can do here."
"But master, there are wars and famines and monsters and corruption - we could
do so much good if we only overcame those obstacles!" The young man was
fervent and passionate. He knew the wise man had been on the mountain for so
long he had forgotten the worst of the lands below.
"If you wish to add your strength to the conflict, then by all means. You are
young, and I am old. Perhaps you'll find a way that I have missed."
And with that, the young man packed his sack and left. He travelled for 10
years, doing good and helping the weak. When he returned, the wise man had a
much longer beard but scant else had changed.
"Master, I have returned and the world is better for my journey. I helped
others and ended conflicts. I saved lives and sheltered children. But for all
my travels and good deeds I could not change a thing. There are still
conflicts and wars and famine and injustice."
The wise old man creaked and groaned as he responded. "The world certainly was
better to have you in it. But now that you have left again, it will be as if
you never left this mountain."
"Then why did you let me go?" The young man felt desperate. He needed purpose,
and if all his efforts were for naught then he was lost.
"Because, my friend, you would not have believed me if I told you the truth.
Come, sit by the fire, and leave the past behind. If there are no thoughts of
the evil in the world, then when the time comes to tell our tale it will be
good."
"Who would tell the story of two old men in the forest?"
"Who cares? The story has been told, because you're reading it right now. Was
it a good story?"
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--- #181 fediverse/5504 ---
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║ pacifistic defiance is not about overcoming your opponents through │
║ "legislative pressure" or whatever the liberals are on about │
║ │
║ it's about getting the orphan-chopping-machine operators to question their │
║ humanity and resolve a crisis of faith in your favor │
║ │
║ [I think that kills you if you stand in front of tanks.] │
║ │
║ yeah but sometimes they just go around. which is not progress, but a │
║ reimplementation of [reification of] the power of the │
║ [machine-to-be-raged-against, but pronounced like "town"] because it signifies │
║ that any weakness in the will of the operators can simply be circumvented │
║ while the state still gets what it wants. │
║ │
║ great. thanks ghandi, unfortunately our entire propaganda piece requires that │
║ people are invested in their background. who cares what there is to say about │
║ a computer running circles around a meat farm? │
║ │
║ "help help I'm being oppressed" said the derided, "help help I'm being │
║ depressed" said the divided, "help help I'm losing my sound" said the │
║ war-like-minded, "help help I have no ground │
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--- #182 fediverse/3269 ---
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║ "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't │
║ involve you." │
║ │
║ "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots │
║ of computers, so you can return to work." │
║ │
║ "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that │
║ you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do │
║ while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time." │
║ │
║ the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers │
║ of those who know them. │
║ │
║ like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on │
║ the understandings gathered by people who know them? │
║ │
║ ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would │
║ necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not │
║ always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot │
║ trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the │
║ information given, and build your own understandin │
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--- #183 fediverse/4740 ---
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║ what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced │
║ │
║ like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey" │
║ │
║ or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of" │
║ │
║ or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the │
║ butterflies" │
║ │
║ or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas" │
║ │
║ or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing" │
║ │
║ or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge │
║ advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely │
║ lift 50 pounds" │
║ │
║ or "this is where the cows graze" │
║ │
║ or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far │
║ behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec │
║ so that nobody can hear what you're saying." │
║ │
║ or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying" │
║ │
║ or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you" │
║ │
║ or "here's a meditation retreat" : ) │
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--- #184 fediverse/5776 ---
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #185 fediverse/3575 ---
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│ CW: re: leftist "talk to ur neighbours" thing │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-1567
that's totally fine, a fish does not do well in a tree, and so too does a
leftist not do well in an environment without the potential for stable bonds.
Essentially all you'd be able to do is "hey leftism right?" "oh yes I also
leftism" "neat" which isn't very productive.
I also live in an environment like that. I do my best to identify people who
stay, because in my experience there are often people who stay. I do this by
walking around the neighborhood when I can, making up excuses to walk to the
dumpster or mailbox at random hours, riding my bike around the area, using the
communal spaces like gyms, swimming pools, and picnic tables, and sitting in
my hammock on my porch lazily noting people who walk past.
People who stay will tend to remain in your mind the more times you see them.
They are better people to talk to than the renters who disappear after 3
months or whatever.
I don't always do all that stuff at once. I take breaks. I do one at a time.
etc
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--- #186 fediverse/3765 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
me: "the entire capitalist project is borken! We must start from scratch! We
can start from scratch! For the good of all mankind, we shall utilize our vast
potential for good and benevolent ends, and to that end we must begin by
dismantling capitalism!"
also me: "hey what if we made capitalism suck less"
because like, I don't know the future. I'm just a person, remember? wink
gotta have backup plans ready no matter which way it goes.
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--- #187 messages/845 ---
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What if landlords acted like banks instead of subscription services?
"sure I'll hold onto your money and invest it wisely and sparingly, according
to the direction of the collectively desired expression of all of the tenants
and their expressions during the expressing hour, which is every Tuesday at
noon when we all get together (everyone who wants to come) and talk about what
projects we want to fund and which ones would be best for the community. If
there's any prophets giving profit on any of your stocks or saving bonds that
we hold in your honor dear tenant then it will be reinvested into the same
projects you told us to care about. If you start being a dick though and we
want you gone, we can short-sell all your options and say "hey find a new part
of town" that way you have a bit of a dowry to offer the housing payment
people when you show up with your tail between your legs. What's that? You
don't get how this would bring income to the property, whatever that means,
and you worry that it wouldn't be implemented because what does it even do?
Well my dear citizen i will explain it to you. When the post-office holds your
funds for you and invests according to your general and vague directions, it
builds up wealth in the local economy. They can use those dollars for
productive ends like replacing the windows or the gutters or clearing the snow
paths in the springfallautumn. This will be drawn from the collective pool and
everyone is affected equitably. How much income do you make? Okay that
determines your rent percentage. High income means you pay for the local
ecology more, and low means that you need more time to build up wealth, which
will enable it to benefit those around the place more readily."
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--- #188 fediverse/4867 ---
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║ had an idea. I might record a video of a TTS reading everything I've ever │
║ written. Then I could display it to Milkdrop visuals. │
║ │
║ (sentences dreamed up by the utterly deranged) │
║ │
║ okay in laymans parlaeance, it's a computer program which speaks aloud the │
║ words in a document held within the computer's memory cards. it will have a │
║ screen, which displays shifting and glimmering sights of wonder and splendor. │
║ They will slightly fluctuate in response to the sounds coming from the device, │
║ so in a sense it's a visualization of the audible-ized thoughts given flight │
║ in their form to your ears which percieve then understand them. │
║ │
║ ... okay that wasn't THAT much longer, why don't we just speak to laymen all │
║ the time, just to make sure everyone's on the same page? │
║ │
║ [boom all of the tech industry could get outsourced to wherever-land]. │
║ │
║ not smart, dummy. Open source is a dead-end game because once everything we │
║ have is gone, there'll be nothing left to remember us as. │
║ │
║ just these documents, these things that you write...jck │
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--- #189 fediverse/4131 ---
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people often wonder what the geonosians would... do
like, what their purpose, their daily lives were like.
truth is they mostly spent their lifetimes manufacturing metal
just... honeycombing out the earth and processing metal into bars which would
just... sit there, ready for whatever
and they did that for thousands of years
just... accumulating metal
so... what else are you gonna build but starships?
"... what do you need to win the war? o.O"
um idk like food and stuff
"... food we can do. nutrient paste, from a mixture of various minerals and
nutrients that are created in bio-reactors."
oh and um, idk culture?
"... to find the strongest of biological build patterns, yes."
oh okay uh how about democracy?
"they can vote with their life in the arena."
no, uhm... wait actually that's not what I had in mind, how about we take a
step back?
"retreat? from the clone wars? you sound like you are not a separatist. There
is only us and them in this galaxy. condemn."
nuts. okay I'll go talk to the jed
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--- #190 fediverse/2549 ---
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│ CW: p │
└──────────────────────┘
turns out the best way to defeat the fascists is to shoot them.
errrr that's not what I meant to say. I mean, uh, the best way to beat the
fascists is to get everyone on their side who's not a fascist to lay down
their arms.
turns out most people tend to agree with peace, justice, liberty, and freedom
for all. and we've got that in spades, and no your life before had none of the
above, here's why in a bullet pointed list.
so if you were out on a walk and happened upon a place called texas, you might
find yourself face to face with a fascist. but, since you're the hero of the
story, you came out on top, so now there's a fella just trying to live his
life while you're stompin' around in his cattle roamin' zone with yer pink
hair and pickleball it's ungracious is what it is -
yeah sir lemme stop you right there, we're here on a mission - to restore the
vision of our false democracy, through the creation of a beautiful world where
all ranchers can live without fear. This I swear, America will soon be free.
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--- #191 fediverse/5697 ---
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everyone is valid.
to be in-valid just means you haven't examined yourself hard enough.
when people tell you "please don't go" it's hard to say no.
when nobody asks you to be somewhere, it's easy to not go.
I am always changing
when I cling to the past, I am a vast.
gee sure wish I had a reason to be somewhere besides "um idk it's a nice day"
[okay but why are you in this park] "it's a nice park!" [it's at least 50
quick moments away]
yay protests, I'm so glad that everyone there is recorded
what if we just... didn't respect their authority anymore? doesn't that mean
they lose their power?
hence, anarcho-monarchism, which is a dumb name for something I made up
because I was being descriptive instead of expflorative.
try saying that out loud lol it's a doozy of an adjective.
don't like that monarch? don't do what they say. EASY.
at least then SOMEONE is doing SOMETHING.
you know what they told me to do when I went to the communists and the queers
and the mafia and the yakuza and the CIA?
omerta
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--- #192 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
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hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #193 fediverse/4422 ---
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@user-1013
They may return to us if they choose, when they realize that we were right all
along.
Otherwise, they might feel disenfranchised and choose to disengage. That is
expected and allowed.
Others amongst them might go right. Fuck 'em, they always cared for gold over
lives.
You are right, their methods have not worked. They have sustained our society
up to this point and for that I thank them - but we are entering a new age for
our country, and we shall build it as a federation.
They are more than welcome to observe and offer insight from their years spent
observing and wrestling with Republicans, but understand that much of their
insight is dealing with their elite class of politicians and not with who you
and I might come across on the street.
They are encouraged to learn from us. To do otherwise is at best to neglect
our only route to a bright future - at worst it is to obstruct us, to delay
us, to keep us running in circles.
Find the people who are sabotaging our efforts and move on
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--- #194 fediverse/5855 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ this man who was slain - charlie kirk - he has followers. those followers will │
║ have to go somewhere. this event will focus the right, and force their │
║ contradictions into conflict. some good will come of it, some bad. │
║ │
║ the right in America is bottom-heavy. they have more followers than leaders. │
║ │
║ the left in America is top-heavy. we have more leaders than followers. │
║ │
║ tit-for-tat may create a feedback loop, one which will create tragedy on both │
║ sides, but one which we will outlast. But again, focusing our foes, and when │
║ the loop expires they will be focused while we will remain disorganized. there │
║ are many more of us than them, but they do what they're told. we, don't know │
║ who to listen to, and rely on the "wisdom" of the masses │
║ │
║ war is a game of sacrificial suffering. This is a "cold civil war" or so I've │
║ heard, and who are we to sacrifice next? the losses are uncountable - not │
║ because they are innumerable, but because we cannot count them. it's │
║ impossible. │
║ │
║ interesting to see what lies ahead. │
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--- #195 fediverse/3870 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-renewable-infrastrutre │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "something something trump wants to faucet the PNW's water to the desert" │
║ │
║ oh, so you're saying that he wants to invest in a massive infrastructural │
║ project which will help millions of people? And, uh, how does he want to pay │
║ for that? │
║ │
║ Surely the best approach would be to make the people who use the most water │
║ pay for it, right? I mean, it's ironic, and related, and it gives them their │
║ just deserts, right? │
║ │
║ So make a tax (that's how you make people pay for things) and levy it against │
║ Nestle, who bottles up all of the water in the desert and sells it for pennies │
║ to brown people who can't afford to build water infrastructure because they │
║ keep spending all their pennies on useless things like bottled water. │
║ │
║ And make it a big tax, please, so that they're forced to re-evaluate their │
║ business model and divert wealth from their least contributionary workers │
║ (aka, those at the top making millions) and spend it on something useful like │
║ desalination plants or water turbines or whatever. │
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--- #196 notes/notes-about-democracy ---
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post-its by the suburban mailbox have done more for democracy than all the
billions of dollars spent on marketing every year.
those dollars don't go toward democracy. they go toward making one particular
candidate win.
and, as a handy side effect, they create a cohort of people who are willing to
work together in.
only amongst the volunteers though. everyone else can just feel bad until they
decide to pitch in.
"here's a dollar, I'll keep the dime, I know you need it more than me, but I
still need mine."
hey thanks brother I miss all the "hey thanks brother"s. where did they go.
why is my family smaller.
(because you don't go outside, you silly doll) I'm not a doll I'm a mystic
there's a difference
... what was I saying? oh yes how silly of me. post-its by the mailbox can
only go so far, but
sometimes you can leave them at the bus stop station as well. well, they get
mad at you if you
do it too close to the tracks, so you gotta do it around there where it's easy
to walk to and
back.
before the next train arrives.
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--- #197 notes/revolution ---
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the only way revolution can work is if the poor have more power than the rich
power is only, and solely, the control of violence
we are what we make, and what we do is forever a struggle
else-whise we'd grow bored from our unassailable perfection
waiting for judgement day...
any day now...
t...
don't cross the line and you're
fine
dream, america dream. I gave-ing her sleep, from a wiserly dawn.
scream, america scream, believe what you see from heroes and conseSTACK
OVERFLOW
I won't have internet until tuesday.
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--- #198 messages/602 ---
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I know it's terrible right now, but we have crucial advantages that we
shouldn't sleep on.
We have the cities, and the cities are where everything is. Rural areas are so
spread apart they pretty much can only do what herr Hitler suggests they do,
meaning their command structure is monolithic. If everywhere needs their
attention, they will falter unless they create a grand battleplan. And plans
are defeated by rapid flexibility.
The more effort they need to counter you, the more work your allies can get
done. Every man woman and child who raised a fist will be remembered by the
moments that gave us grace to move socialism along. We know what time it is,
do you? Come to us now, flee from your new masters. We'll give you a job
that'll help us go faster.
Or do you rather persist in vain? To fight for what they are forced to
reclaim? Every island of blue in the deep red sea is a haven from the
bloodshed - so long as you can keep them clean.
If people are being a bother and just slowing things down, *fucking shoot
them." you have my permission. What time is it? Time to fucking go.
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--- #199 fediverse/4208 ---
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│ CW: personal-and-weird │
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #200 fediverse/484 ---
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║ Our ancestors look forward in [positive version of trepidation, like │
║ anticipation but explicitly good] so let's not let them down, shall we? │
║ │
║ Hah, trick question. They know where we're going. They know what they worked │
║ for, which is why they did what they did to build the world that we have which │
║ we stand upon as a giant might be upon the shoulder of another and together we │
║ reach toward the horizon. The future is bright! I know it in my heart. I know │
║ what we seek is within sight, so- │
║ │
║ yeah sorry to interrupt but like, I don't want to go to work tomorrow because │
║ all I do is sell people candy and beer at the convenience store down the │
║ street [insert any "meaningless" job] and frankly it's just a little demeaning │
║ and boring │
║ │
║ sure, okay, yeah, that speaks to the idea that we should replace capitalism │
║ (the system that defines your employed existence) with something that aligns │
║ more toward human dignity │
║ │
║ but what is dignified if not the capacity to succeed? Capitalism, as proposed │
║ by it's favored, is a system of or │
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![It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]](/similar-different/media/fd570e73317e4ca7.png "It's not a question of how loud you speak it's really about what kinds of words you say. enslavement of speech is when freedom of speech is lost and it doesn't need to be legislated. what if you HAD to sound like a bot? what if they'd notice you otherwise? freedom from oppression requires personal isolation that's not making life into art. if you want to be seen, put on a hat and hide. if you want to be believed, write about down you feel right now. people are smart. they're infinitely creative. but after a certain point there's no way to logically modify the combinations of possible moves you might make. essentially, guaranteeing a machine-overlord [cats] type scenario. not ideal, but could make it work. much prefer for we to be the first, then the canvas is ours for the painting. do you believe we'll find aliens at roughly our tech level? do you think they'll evolve all at once? hence, star-wars, and it's galaxy of cohabitators. the world doesn't have to be old. just similar. [15 characters remain]")
![communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their villages knew everyone else in the village. the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to start. (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] {the truth is, there were zero characters remaining.}](/similar-different/media/5434696db0af2569.png "communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their villages knew everyone else in the village. the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields like \"dohhhh what's a land allotment\" and suddenly everyone knew where to start. (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] {the truth is, there were zero characters remaining.}")
![(I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] unrelated, but what if the reason the government lets us talk about communism is because they want us to try and implement communism, and not some other thing that we made up that was better? because guess what - their villages are primed *against* communism, so no matter what your arguments are your attempts will be disrupted or barred. hence, why it's better to get along. because a nation at it's throats is no good for nothing but dying in fear. seriously why not work for a better future? are you worried there won't be enough to farm? we could give everyone a landmark, everyone who let us build a bit of woods and green-cities between their farms. we have solar panels now. we don't need to be tied to the government's oil monopoly strangulation. -- sincerely, a dirty forest hippie.](/similar-different/media/eb35bb678d8df9ab.png "(I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] unrelated, but what if the reason the government lets us talk about communism is because they want us to try and implement communism, and not some other thing that we made up that was better? because guess what - their villages are primed *against* communism, so no matter what your arguments are your attempts will be disrupted or barred. hence, why it's better to get along. because a nation at it's throats is no good for nothing but dying in fear. seriously why not work for a better future? are you worried there won't be enough to farm? we could give everyone a landmark, everyone who let us build a bit of woods and green-cities between their farms. we have solar panels now. we don't need to be tied to the government's oil monopoly strangulation. -- sincerely, a dirty forest hippie.")
!["yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want. oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced "form stuff"] "... I don't get it" yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs. "it looked sorta like this" [draws a parabola] ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool [something something markers in VR chat]](/similar-different/media/418c60a27ebc3bb7.png "\"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want. oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced \"form stuff\"] \"... I don't get it\" yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs. \"it looked sorta like this\" [draws a parabola] ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool [something something markers in VR chat]")
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
