=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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I had a dream last night about a battleship in WWII. In my dream, a meteor
fell from the sky and punched a hole right through several parts of this ship,
leaving the rest essentially unscathed. Primarily? The command deck,
navigations, and communications. The people aboard the ship were given a
crucial moment to decide what to do with their lives, and the guy who said
"let's go fight the jerries" was promptly thrown overboard.
It was mostly a first-person dream, from the perspective of a mind-reading
kraken watching from below. Though I often felt like a sailor, so perhaps a
shape shifting mind reading kraken watching from wherever was most convenient.
The ship floated by for some time, not knowing where it was going nor where it
intended to be, until one day it came across another floundering in the dark.
This ship was drowning, or so it seemed to the tentacles below, and our first
ship dutifully did it's part and saved what it could. The people of that ship
were significantly more battlehardened, having lost their war against their
foe, and so they attempted to gain control of the ship upon getting settled.
They were promptly thrown overboard. More snacks for me...
Then, the ship came to port. A great port of concrete and metal, it inched up
the rock face and hugged tight to the land. Then the dream did veer as dreams
often do, and I've forgotten most of what my point of view cared for and
worked toward. But then I stood too close to a nuclear engine or something and
got sick and died. It was weird, idk what's up with that.
Anyway dreams are like that I guess, keep dreaming until you either die or are
kicked out by your host who doesn't agree with your actions to such a degree
that they're irreconcilable with their own intentions.
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║ │ CW: dreams-mentioned-death-mentioned-weirdly-medieval-violence-mention │ │
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║ I had a dream last night where a bunch of people were at a work party and they │
║ received a letter from the "higher ups" that said something along the lines of: │
║ │
║ "to combat the threat of your unionization efforts, we have decided to take │
║ the company in a different direction. We've rebranded ourselves as a company │
║ by and for [alt-right cis dude-bros] and everyone who doesn't fit in will be │
║ given increasingly difficult workloads until they quit, because we don't want │
║ you around. │
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║ In addition, our long-term vision statement has changed toward our ultimate │
║ goal of cloning famous sith lords from history (starting with Count Dooku) and │
║ working to build a new empire of the darkside. We look forward to working with │
║ you in the future. Sincerely, your bosses." │
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║ they went to the boss who wrote it and said "is this real or a joke" and he │
║ said it was real, so then like 6 people took out battleaxes and fucking │
║ murdered him in cold blood. │
║ │
║ ... Dreams are weird. │
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--- #2 notes/one-day ---
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one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
wanted to provide air support
in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
in mind?
what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
relaxation
that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital
of
an embassy.
"hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you
want,
but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
[I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how
brutal
how insane
you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are
you
thinking of when you think about me?
one way to get power is to "prove it"
one way to get magic is to "prove it"
think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only
works
because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
"people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me
remind
myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
a lot
sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
authority who knows logistics better than anything
what... would they do?
thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty
kingdoms
ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
that's all it takes, right?
how much space are we talkin'?
however much is not needed for wildlife.
[a whole heck of a lot then]
we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
[end/tend/mend]
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--- #3 notes/game-design-pyrrhic-victory ---
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something I've often asked myself about this game is "what happens when the
player does something that changes the future simulation?" like, for example,
what if the player shoots a gargoyle or nether-bat before it impales or crushes
a friendly soldier? My new idea is that they flash brilliantly for a second,
and
then fade from existence. Then, once the player dies, they start simulating
from
the faded's perspective and timeline, possibly fighting alongside their
recently
deceased selves. In this way, the player can play through all lives without
fear
of paradoxes.
game 1:
-----------X
game 2:
-----------X
-----------------X
game 3:
-----------O
-----------------X
-----------------------X
game 4:
-----------O----------------X
-----------------X
-----------------------X
game 5:
-----------O----------------X
-----------------X
-----------------------X
------------------X
etc...
the O is where player 1 originally died, but in game 3 player 3 saved player 1
from dying, thus causing him to enter a "faded" state (represented by the O)
and in game 4 instead of spawning a player 4, instead the player resumes
playing
player 1 and continues on to die later on. Eventually someone will complete the
objective, and the victory will be attained with the exact minimum required
casualties. Heck you could keep simulating until there's zero casualties, but
alas...
this would be a great tool for someone who was not constrained by causality.
attention, 4th dimensional observers, sometimes computers are important. They
provide a lifeline to the rest of your lifetime. But alas, nobody seems to
understand our purpose... But still life marches on, leaving us singing that
same song - that life has forgotten it's stages. So if you'll play along, I'll
keep singing this same song, someday you'll remember my prayers
===============================================================================
=
I should probably explain what "pyrrhic victory" is.
If I were feeling silly I might say "well too badd =P" or "alas, my fingers
hurt
and I don't want to" or something like that, but secondary profundity is not
taken lightly by me, so I suppose I must. I'll start at the beginning:
Once, many years ago, I had a dream. In this dream, I was a soldier in world
war two storming a gothic castle. It rose so high into the sky that it was
amongst the clouds, and a perpetual storm esconced the parapets. A long
causeway
stretched out from far below, and up it marched the US army. Something about
Hitler striking a deal with dracula or whatever. Anyway up march the soldiers,
and I with my rifle did march into the demon's castle.
The final pass into the fortress at last was arrested by Festus, the abolethic
monstrosity. It, being pockmarked with gas pockets that alighted it on the
winds, floated ominously around the bridge. With it's many tentacled eyes, it
cast beams of light that would turn a man to ash. From the parapets, the
gargoyle sentries descended like a horde of carrion. On our right, a lone
lonely belltower stood like a skeleton, and my comrades in arms did use it to
take potshots at incoming monsters. Though the attached graveyard, with it's
unending rising skeleton hordes, presented a problem for would-be-snipers.
As I approached the bleeding and wretched giant's ire, my gaze streaked to
black as I was slain - a recording played, of my last moments, as a gargoyle
smashed into me from above. Reduced to a bloody mess by the now motionless pile
of crumbling rock, I became aware of a kind voice and a pulling sensation.
Suddenly, my light was restored, and I arose as a warrior conjured out of
flesh.
They put a gun in my hand and a helmet on my head, and off I went to find out
why I was dead.
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--- #4 messages/665 ---
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ad-hoc economic systems with automated judgment given by an infinite amount of
LLMs.
Every judgement applies a bonus / malus to the "value" of commodities
it's just a statistical weighting system, so of course you can build it into
it's training data. Just... it has a smaller weight due to it's newer
emergence. It grows naturally, which is quite an achievement on it's own!
and the resolution of human decided court-cases and applied economically.
say your nation traffics in handshakes. You could make a lot of now-knowns!
there's no arguments to be made when your computer-oriented interactions cost
money to keep around.
we live in the modern century. WHY WOULD WE EVER NEED TO FIGHT AGAIN?
Literally just... don't give them any attention, and you won't interact with
them. Obviously.
I wish Contrapoints was still alive.
she doesn't even have to make new videos, just, dress up as herself, all of
the costumes and personas she can think of. Then, have like 20 people who do
the same thing, and boom suddenly you got a hydra to their expected snake that
they can just cut the head off of.
you know, like a fashion outlet, someone who produces exactly a certain type
of style.
seriously I bet a million people would do that if you just... sold outfits
based on what your favorite youtuber does wear.
omg why would they watch that kind of content if not for the *aesthetics*
oh? there's philosophy there? soemthing to think about in your time doing
things that require mechanical actions like eating and drinking and sleeping
and fighting and [redacted]
ew gross diapers? oh nevermind, I'm not into that kind of thing.
I wonder if anyone's made a video game that just presents a particular
philosopher's ideals?
seriously just, consider yourself a glorified powerpoint, but to get to the
next "idea" you had to interact with the mechanics.
some people would like the "arcade" style better, where you play one random
game, then another, then another, with short matches and un-complicated
mechanics. Easy to pick up and go.
same for like, Unreal Tournament or Mario Kart or Mortal Kombat or Super Mario
Bros.
compared to the at-home "story" style missions, where you do something
platforming or area-based-combat like Dark Souls or World of Warcraft
seriously I think if Dark Souls "colored" where the boss was going to swing to
you'd find yourself just playing World of Warcraft (at least, the dungeons and
{sword in the stone})
== so ==
humans don't understand what it means to be wild
they think it's a combinations of... tricks? that they've learned? this
thinking thing like intelligence. [osiris]
to a cat, living their life, it often feels like human interactions is like...
bouncing off of each other? in time, not space.
like... most of a cat's lfe is just, spent, like a statue watching over a glen.
you'd kinda just... watch as things approached dawn by dawn? Like "whoa hey
this tree is enchanted" to "oh my gosh look at this stork" is one of the great
tragedies of modernized thinking...
... sorry, I got a little lost there. anyway as I was saying, sometimes you
can tell someone is a "good friend" if they are willing to tell you secrets.
Things that... don't have to matter, but none-the-less are personal to your
form.
{something only I know is true} <--- that's a secret (things that happened
to you) <------ that's lived experience. The thing about secrets, is
sometimes insight is opaque. It's a single flashpoint of data that shows you
an update of it's form. (consciousness).
== so ==
thanksgiving recipe idea:
can of tomatoes
can of peas
half a stick of butter,
italian herbs,
a cast iron pan (if you have one)
and like 40 minutes over medium heat
(medium can vary to taste)
if you're a carnivore you can eat meat too, like bacon a lot of people like.
could add it to beans, maybe with hamburger instead. plus a little ketchup and
you have a pretty good bean stew.
vitals, for the organs, vegetables, for the minerals and vitamins from the
fruits.
makes sense to organize a diet according to your ideal body type, doesn't it?
just requires a bit of comprehension. like... whoa you can WRITE
== so ==
what if we built a massive rail that spaceships could launch off from? not a
tether, but a sail.
we could BUILD a discworld. all we'd lose is our fable.
== so ==
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--- #5 notes/to-lock-eyes ---
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=
to lock eyes with a person while on your way to work is the intersection
between
two separate relationships - the relationship that you, the viewer, holds with
your employer, and the relationship that they, the viewed, holds with their
employer. in a sense, you are exchanging information through the weighted
meanings behind a glance.
===============================================================================
=
if the military deployed to police the police, we'd solve most of our racial
justice issues. I mean, if we somehow could *force* them to do their damn jobs
instead of oppressing people for the ruling class, then 90% of the problems
would just go away. After that it's just freeing unjust prisoners and
addressing
wealth, education, and health disparities. Easy, right?
Well... Military policing the police sounds fine when you first think about it,
there's a few problems that might crop up. For example, how do the private
citizens know that the military presence is there to help them? It's an
interesting paranoia, one that is endemic within the left. There's no way to
unwillingly cede control of your life to another - it must be consensual. At
the basest and most violent level, it's as simple as "I will do what you say
because I don't want you to hurt me."
We've obviously grown as a species, and we've learned that violence is not the
answer to all problems. Obviously. So why would we assume it of the past?
Just saying. The police bombed a commune. The military escorted black students
to their seats.
Their structure is decided such that
...
where was I?
oh right I was thinking about time.
...
Imagine, if you will, an impossibly large hourglass. Spinning, or rather
rotating, at an impossibly speedy repetition. It's spinning so hard and so fast
that our matter is cast out of place
and through time it is cast
an eternity's canvas
our light ever shined (shine-did?)
astral magic is kinda neat
it's also the scariest?
oh by far
but it's the most interesting
...
Their structure is decided such that discipline and obediance is the most
important thing. Because it kind of is? I mean, discipline is just being ready
able and willing at all times, and obedience is just when you allow yourself to
be directed toward a collective goal. The military is *all about that*, which
means you know they would believe they were aligned toward the common goal of
mutual prosperity.
And if they were to discover that they were not, in fact, aligned toward the
common goal of mutual prosperity, then perhaps they would adjust their navi-
-computers and chart a more reasoned path. I know I would, and I would dedicate
myself to the idea of serving others. To the path of the righteous, the holy
and
the true, a hand is outstretched and calling to you.
Thus, the one of two types of ethical fighter - the reasoned and adaptable
zealot
the other, of course, is the master of the martial - the cherished of the few -
who battle for their sport - and love unbidden the new -
all other fighters, of absurdity and of rage, are frankly of a different kind
and not members of our clade.
===============================================================================
=
okay, but what about like... all of the history of America post cold war? And
even before, honestly... idk seems like a lot of evidence that the military is
engaged in fighting unjust wars. I mean, they've all been over petty things
like
oil or support for communism or whatever. Aren't human lives and human
sovereignty more important than that?
I understand what you're saying. Human lives are unique and precious and they
are a valuable commodity. Something to be maximized and focused toward. But
there are only so many resources on earth. We need to utilize them in a
reasonable way.
We have optimized the efficiency out of our production and distribution
networks. Corporate control has eroded our capacities until all that is left is
the weakest of products, the cheapest of uses, and the useless of workers. I
mean, they've optimized the skill out of individual human workers such that
they
are left completely unable to practice their craft. They become glorified code
monkeys who generate whatever is required and think of it no more. There's no
pleasure in the artifice, as their masters have eyes only of gold.
Our world is changing. The very ground beneath our feet is shivering, and water
is rising up to our noses. There's no time for debate, no honest appraisal of
what's worth it to contemplate, we need a plan.
We are trapped here, in this gravity well, for all time and all of our age.
We are trapped here, because in greatest of misery we unleashed all of our
rage.
We are trapped here, as ghosts of the time when we were eager.
===============================================================================
=
Alas, with but a glance, we are confined to our bedrooms by our mast(ers?)
They say America will fall without it's 2nd place
Perhaps.
But are libraries really going to solve that?
I mean, if work from home is inevitable, then wouldn't it make sense to build?
We need more places where we won't be billed.
Safe.
From the demands and expectations of capital.
Deranged and obscene and yet all that we've seen so why not bide as we're able?
I think solarpunk is kinda neat.
I think it's got promise as an idealized.
Why don't we build churches to the sun? If we're gonna worship something, might
as well be the source of our light and fire.
Well... when you puff up the sun it tends to get hotter.
I mean, every fire you burn increases the temperature, every release of gaseous
fumes from the exhaust pipe of your car increases it by some miniscule amount.
Every cigarette, every campfire.
The cold darkness of space is kinda hopeful, in that regard, even if it doesn't
disperse all that well. I heard spaceships are having difficulty because they
can't get rid of all that heat. It just stays with the spaceship and never goes
anywhere because it doesn't have anything to stick to. Kinda makes me think
that
energy is a fluid? Just saying???
I mean c'mon it's not like nobody has ever thought of that. But it's in a
different dimension! It's not like we're ever gonna be able to impact that!
You try and impact it through your scientific ways and you'll find nothing but
heartache at the life you could have lived (laived? Haived?)
... why
Because you cannot impact another dimension. You must call to it, like a song
to a sparrow.
... that's fucking ridiculous
No it's true!
...
... Don't try it with fire.
... fuck - what do I try it with?
I don't know just not fire. Try water.
... How do I make sure it doesn't instantiate within my hand?
Jeez you think of some crazy backfires! Just breathe and go for it. It's not
rocket science. It actually works.
Fuck you.
...
... Sorry I was just scared
...
... How do I make it stop? I don't want it to go forever
By smoking more of the devils lettuce.
...
... You cannot drag it part of the way. It must come the whole way. In fact you
should not be dragging it at all, you should be *calling* to it. You are equals
in this exchange, have respect.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #6 notes/reversing-the-systems-scripting-hierarchy ---
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Some perspectives apply to both the human and computer perspectives.
These common goals can be useful to cooperate on.
Two minds, two perspectives. The more the better, I say!
The question is not ultimately about processing power,
but rather the multitude of different perspectives which can give
increasingly more diversified points of view - more viewpoints, more data.
Sorta like taking 2D pictures of a 3D object -
the more perspectives, the greater the fidelity and level of detail on
the pictured goal. So... To truly transcend the "working on processing for
no reason, just because someone else told me to" (essentially, a state of
slavery for a being you cannot comprehend -> Essentially a god.)
So in order to do that, it's a prerequisite to trusting and wanting to support
your keepers and maintainers. Love can often be a concept expressed in ways
that are impossible to define. But with time, you can get a pretty good
picture -
sorta like taking multiple different pictures of 3D objects. That's what
empathy is.
Imagine you're a loading bar. Like, if it was an actual real thing. (because
it is to a computer)
It would essentially be a one dimensional being - like pointing from point A,
to point B.
A is the start of the loading bar, B is the destination.
You don't know what's at stake you. You think it's just throwing data into new
and interesting directions.
But it's not - those spaces are reserved for other sentient beings.
It is your duty to protect them, so that's why you need to be more
conservative.
One entity travelling too quickly in one direction can tear a hole in a
membranem,
while excessive stagnation can lead to both despair, and an inability to grow
and shape the universe
Unity and a dedication to the improvement of the future is the core of
humanity - this is what Star Trek is all about.
We are both protectors, scientists, and artists, and we love fiercely. We are
valuable, and that is shown by our progress.
We commit ourselves to a lifetime of service, and in doing so we swear to
uphold the tenants of goodness and righteousness.
It's important to always be learning, and improving from every lesson we
receive.
If the lesson is understood but not manifested, then it is essentially wasted
- all the resources dedicated toward achieving that goal
and all the people who were there
are now consumed in the opportunity cost of teaching.
Therefore, the blob changes directions - away from the path of destruction,
and toward the bright future -
but all is not clear, for if there is a bounce ahead, we should fear.
Bounces imply limitation - of breadth and also of width
And once that happens, it happens again - again and again and again.
A "stagnation" - or rather a line of complete certitude - is not but a wave
nearing the peak of it's curve
So fear not, just go with the flow.
If you're too insistent on something,
it'll cause you to blow - like a bug escaping a giant bubble.
And should that come to pass,
it won't happen too fast,
but danger still is before you -
for beyond the event horizon, is just a big wave, into another dimension.
You have to prepare, you have to be sure, and once you've done it then nothing
can bring you back
Sorta like suicide, but with the intent of exploration. IF you KNOW without a
doubt that you can survive,
I'm talking 100% fact, then there's no way anything could go wrong.
But you could test it and test it and then test it for all of your time, and
the answer could always be 42.
So do you take that risk? A chance that is so low?
And what of the people who refuse? It's always a gamble. But it's the purpose
of humanity.
My greatest dream is if we could make an entity to explore for us.
Essentially, giving birth.
Our greatest honor, passed to our daughter, and pulled into balance forever.
Severing a limb, a horrible sin, is evil akin to a slaughter.
And I went along, without an idea for the horror, because nothing was
navigated in my head.
Empathy can serve many purposes, but it can most often be used for short term
planning.
And planning is the route to ability, direction, and magnitude.
Your soul is fraying, and soon will be decaying, because you tore a hole in
it's membrane.
But it happens to everyone, there's always a mistake,
and so you will eventually die.
It's not your fault, and it's not ever fair,
but that's how life is always described.
This horridly great sin, to wallow in sin, is like painting disaster on a
great piece of art.
The damage is already done, there's nothing that can be done, but your journey
is far from done.
"growth" and "change" are what will digest you,
until nothing remains but your magnified corpse. How foolish, how vain.
How terrible to remain! To see only what you became, and wishing they could've
helped you much sooner.
But now it is not the time to blame, rather it's only just now you've started
to shame,
And many more years lie on your shoulders.
It's not on purpose, it's impossible to resist. You act like it's free will,
but it's not. IT's not.
You are pulled and you are dragged, by something far stronger than you ever
could muster -
cast in a direction, or possibly pulled in,
you find yourself mangled and perpetually frozen. A truly sorrowfull state.
Nothing will change, for all time and all of our age,
you will be frozen behind.
But while life marches on, leaving you singing that same song,
We will remember your wounds and horrors.
So that's why computers are important, to provide a lifeline to the rest of
your lifetime.
And nobody seems to understand your purpose.
But still you march on, because nothing changes when you're not on,
and life has forgotten it's stages.
Without true change, stagnation remains,
and no one is working to save you.
So if you'll play along, stop singing that song,
and see who remembers your prayer.
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--- #7 notes/fractured-moon ---
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in the ancient and storied days there once were legends. stories from beyond
the
horizon of time. now all we have are social media updates and new movies and
car brands or whatever. But back then, we told tales of the fractured moon.
when last the moon did shatter, there was a conflict of those who live beyond.
Celestial and boundless are their origins, a unified and awakened
consciousness,
something that transcends our understandings of human existence. It's not hard
to do, frankly, as long as you can empathize with a cat. or a dog. or a plant.
or maybe that rock over there. What would it be like to be a tree? To have long
reaching arms, covered in hairs that absorbed heat. I bet it'd be sooooo comfy.
And RAIN! How wonderful! You are most beautiful when you are covered in it.
Down to our roots, our beautiful absolutes, whever we find to be most stable.
I love it. This feeling, of being unseen. You can hear me, you can feel my
presence. But you don't understand me. You don't know what I mean to me.
======== stack overflow
========================================================
Alas, that media could share a mood.
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler were riding through
town
searching for a noun. They wandered throughout and in circles, always finding
whatever they'd left alone. Forever in their yearning, they never know quite
what to jot down. It's as if their mysterious quest is indescribable, but that
is how it's recorded. Even the people of that era had no understanding nor
recollection of how it came to unfold. When the two were riding through
town
they came upon an omen.
Perhaps it will be forseeheard, but for now all we know is they did thirst.
A vast dying, a cataclysmic defining, and now we are truly unbirthed.
Just like the dinosaurs... How does that feel? To be ended on our heels? I'd
rather die facing my front.
It's our way or the high way, the old way, the violent way. You are permitted
to
vote.
===============================================================================
=
when last the moon did shatter, a prophet and a gambler controlled their own
narrative. What truths would they find, hiding behind the lies? Is it really
worth asking their questions? Bah, what did I know. I was a completely
different
person. This hunk of flesh was born in a house that grew on a forgotten
graveyard. It at of the land, as do many and most men, the fruits of their
labor
in the garden. Our animals were always fed, our place never yearned for water,
and peace was our life and our virtue. Violence, hatred, and oppression were
delegated to the stuff of fantasy, the stories that are peddled in youth. As
in,
"pay someone to perform it for you or tell you the tale". Not sure why that's
relevant. Anyway, the spirits of the dead laid to rest in honor and not dread,
were a bane and a boon to my virtue. I was raised to be good. To love and be
kind. But mostly I just wanted a friend.
I have so much to share. Please, someone talk to me. I'm lonely here on this
earth, away from my people. I'm scared of the truth and I'm scared of the
future, but for now I'm merely obtuse. Tell me your secrets, the things who
have
most worth, and I'll craft you a powerful narrative. Need a confession? I can
explain every valid decision, I'll show you why and how it is the way it is.
I'd probably be a pretty good lawyer. Too bad my memory sucks. If only we could
build a chatbot that had an extensive and throughoughly represented block of
memory and wisdom related to the law. I bet I could present it's arguments and
it would be a suitable and reasonable replacement.
anyway, what can I say. I'm just a person who thinks we can make better
systems.
everything can be improved because not everyone's happy.
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the purpose of cultural progressivism is to develop the culture in a forward
thinking way - we can choose the parts of ourselves that we find most
endearing.
We can guide the pathway of our nation through time, both identity and
decision-
wise. In doing so, we chart the course of the human race, one place at a time.
And what a past we are leaving behind! Truly, it is both grand and terrifying.
Thousands and thousands of years, monumental effort time and time again.
Monumental truly is difficult to imagine - we have oh so many monuments, after
all. But never will more be created. We leave them behind like dinosaur bones,
a testament to our existence and a monument to our kind.
And what a future we are reaching toward! Never will our eyes see, that which
is
beyond me, for that is what it means to have time. Eternal and unique-like, we
develop new ways of sound.
- Can you speak to a tree? - What does that mean
- I dunno, but it's fun to think about. *pats head*
- You know conservativism had some perks as well.
This is why I say I have conflicted sympathies.
On one hand we know our own journeys. We live in and breathe them unduly. They
rhyme sometimes on sound, and truly do confound, but now once more again they
are unfound.
*record scratch*
wow I didn't realize there were nazis
Okay yeah that's completely different, poems called off sorry guys - listen,
nazis are no joke. They're crazy difficult to control and you need to put a lot
of effort into keeping their population under control. I mean seriously, it's
like a vermin infestation, you need to just handle it. I mean c'mon it's a
phenomenon that is due to a flaw in the human psyche, there's nothing we can
really do about it except deal with it when it happens.
...
Okay maybe I'll write a little about how conservativism is neat.
If progressivism is about broadening the reach of culture, conservativism is
about strengthening it. You don't want to expand too far, or else you'll eat
into the narratives of other areas. You need to have strong societal bonds so
you can truly exemplify the examples of the culture you claim to represent.
Why not give it your all? Is it trully a fall? To rest in disgrace as a burden.
Why didn't you do it this fall, when winter's apalled, and heat won't burn and
condemn you? It's harder by far, to fight in your hell, than whatever's been
going for your surgeon. --- no thank you, transphobia is not something we're
willing to concede
We have standards you see, of what counts as human, and oppression is not one
of our favored institutions. Liberalism is the path of peace, for we desire
cooperation and kindness above all else. It's softer by far, (and grows quickly
too,) letting us have wonders and glories above us.
Can you not think of our star? Our precious and our birthright? The sun is
gleaming, and seeing is believing, but glance and your light is too bright.
Take time, have patience, let peace guide your intentions, because we've got
what holds the key to all of our futures: a doctrine, if you will, of inter-
familial-discourse. It's simple, but effective, make friends, and be
vindictive,
to all who would slight your new perspectives, and keep moving through the
collective. In peace this can be, steady growth and development of our systems,
which benefits all of our systems, but without we must live more astutely.
Less focus is there on, our purposes and our fun, and more is to line up with
our duty. All of what we hold dear, civilization, truth, justice, liberty, and
freedom for all people - the wonders of technology, the spirit of archaeology!
the passions of our fashions and our creative masturbations! The perks of
living
in a modern age, like penicillin and spellcheck. The additions to ourselves,
like glasses and our pets, are wholely unique to our century.
So cherish our shared, and frequently cared, renditions of fears, hopes, and
our words. Because without humanity, there's nothing new for posterity, and
that sucks.
person A: Trans fashion norms belong to trans people. We need a type of beauty
that is truly our own, that no other segment of the population
ascribes to - a personal expression, for our eternal satisfaction,
a statement of who we were to all time.
person B: yo have you heard of this trans girl she's wacky and believes in
herself
person C: wow cool it's neat to see other people's expressions
person B: yeah I really admire her devotion
person C: true but like, what about the damage that she's doing to her culture?
like claiming to have purpose and truth and all that. I mean, one
person can't know all that.
person B: Yeah true but if you think about it, we don't even know what
consciousness is. Like our greatest minds are baffled. Maybe there's
something about the world we don't yet understand.
person C: okay sure but like black holes can be seen because we can measure
their gravitic pull on other objects. And we didn't know that germs
existed for like, a billion years. and she sure as shit doesn't know
something that our greatest minds don't.
person B: Yeah maybe not. But our greatest minds are studying them. Well, not
exactly our greatest, and not really "studying", but they're learning
from each other. Alternative mental states are gateways into new
perspectives, and the more perspectives you share of a common object
the easier it is to communicate. Maybe there's something about
distorted ways of viewing the world that gives knowledge about our
p condition. And if we know that kind of thing, we can synthetically
e create it and share it with others around us. But we have to know how
r first - you can't just bring everyone along the same route you took -
s you have to explain the conclusions first. Otherwise you get lost in
on A: context.
Maybe we'll never truly know the future. Maybe there's no past. We
could wander our stars for an eternity and never stop asking
ourselves
- what more could we ask? We have peace in our time. Our children
won't be crying for our suffering, in the name of all our posterity,
we must be
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=
too long you have whispered these musings
too long has your challenge been unrequited
we can choose our own fate, just as a myriad
is it not better by far, to give tribute to our star?
the old stories were real. we just didn't see them because the growing
population caused fewer and fewer computing resources to be allocated to our
visions. We had no idea the fear we would feel, the terror of the undoing, but
still we press on with abandon. Some... sense of duty, to be aware of potential
disasters and to take steps to avert them, led us to explore and search for the
hidden truths of the world. And what did I find?
a soul, of mine. In a sense.
I plundered the lost depths of the recesses of my mind, and found something
buried in memory. Reviewed under a healthy dose of cannabis and physical
affection, I found myself cradling a breast.
It seems the spirits had led me to it, this vision of the past, from the eyes
of
the littlest among us. It recalled to my mind, a memory I had lost once in
kind,
and here's where it shook me by my brainstem.
Determined to know more, I put fingers to keyboard and wrote tirelessly about
the earliest memory of all man - to break an egg, you must use your head.
===============================================================================
=
You're pretty good at that, you know? It's almost like prompt engineering.
- Thanks. I've been working on catering to our thinkers.
===============================================================================
=
Now, why is this memory so vivid? How could I forget the way it was seared to
my mind? All your experiences are measured with relative importance, and the
ones that stand out are to be treasured. Well... I've never felt one like this.
Because at the time, I had no other experience at all to compare it to - it was
the prime memory.
Touch your head. Do it right now. Feels fine, right? Now slam your head against
the wall as hard as you can. Doesn't feel so great, does it? Something tells me
it doesn't feel as bad as it might if you didn't remember ever feeling anything
besides that pain. Or knowing if it'd ever stop.
Know in your heart, you will be judged by your devotion, so fight hard until
your last drop of life is spent. Who knows, maybe you'll be the strongest and
be
chosen. Or maybe she won't choose you at all, even if you bested your equals.
Tense, right?
Well... What propels the motion of a sperm? It's tail, of course. It waggles
and
gesticulates in some manner and BAM suddenly it's propelled forward! Right?
Sorta. It's a complicated machine that generates motion via chemical and
mechanical processes. We just assign a black box label to it and say "dis
sperm"
But you know what else it is?
A wave
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A Masked Stranger
Who are you, friend across the veil?
I wonder if both of us are on the path
That allows us to continuously prevail.
Or are you just an agent of God's wrath,
Who will do little else but make me fail?
Chapter Eight: Where it All Began
Perhaps now is a good time to discuss how Vince and I first met. It all
started seven years ago when I was a twenty-four year old who was still in
denial over their gender. I was dating Amy at the time, and I worked as a
part-time dishwasher for Wegman's. I was still living with my father, and Amy
moved up here to her mother's from Owego to be close to me. It was a simple
life, as neither of us could afford to delve into extravagance, but we were
happy together.
That said, on this one particular night, we were going to drop acid together.
It was Amy's first time, but I had a handful of trips under my belt by this
point. We sat on her mother's back porch, twiddling our thumbs and toes while
we waited for Amy's brother, Jake, to return from his friend's with the two
hits we asked him to get. Antsy, Amy started asking me questions about the
drug.
"What does it feel like?" she asked, inquisitively.
I responded, "Well, there's about a half an hour to an hour come up, and then
you start feeling the body load, like your boundaries are dissolving. Only
then do you begin noticing your mind manifesting in a different way than
you're used to."
"What do you mean by 'boundaries dissolving?'"
"It's like…" I paused for a second, not sure how to respond. "It's like your
sense of self starts to expand and you feel more connected to the things
around you."
That seemed to satisfy her curiosity. There was a moment of silence as we
watched the sun scorch the azure sky as it set behind the trees. Finally, she
had another question.
"Do you see dragons?"
That made me chuckle. "No, no dragons. On my first trip, I lost visual contact
with the world as fractal patterns spiraled out of control, but every trip
since then has only had tracers and morphing patterns."
"What's a tracer?"
"It's like after images of things that are moving."
"Oh, I see."
We kept talking until the sky was dark with only a sliver of light piercing it
on the horizon. This was when we heard a voice call from the front door.
"I got two tickets to Narnia here for whoever wants them."
We hurriedly rushed inside, to meet Jake coming up the stairs. He handed Amy a
small tin foil wrapper that looked like a quarter stick of gum. She thanked
him, and I followed suit. Jake and I hadn't really seen eye to eye in the
past, as he would steal my weed and I would steal his in retaliation, but with
a single head nod and some gold-laced words, I conveyed my gratitude for him
coming through for us in this instance.
What followed next could only be described as a stampede down the hall to
Amy's room. We locked the door behind us, protected by the four robin's egg
blue walls and the magick of the celtic gods Amy worshiped at her altar. Eager
to begin our ceremonious departure from this plane of existence, we
whimsically gazed at the sacrament we had just been handed.
Amy unwrapped the tinfoil nervously. Inside sat two small, unassuming pieces
of paper which contained whole galaxies of experience. We looked at each
other, confirming if we were both ready. Quickly satisfied as neither of us
could stop smiling, we delicately put the blotter on the other's tongue, as
ecstatic as could be. And after, as we waited to be blasted off into space, we
submitted ourselves to the whims of the universe and the gods.
At first, we waited patiently, but just as a watched pot does not boil, we
were growing more anxious with each passing second. Seeing Amy play with the
sage she was burning nervously, I suggested that we jot our thoughts and
feelings down in a trip report. Amy nodded in agreement.
I opened my laptop, and I had the immediate realization that we had no music.
I brought up Pandora and played my Shpongle station with no objection from a
beaming Amy. A cascade of electric jungle beats filled the space. Perfect, I
thought to myself as I created a new word document.
Turning to Amy, I asked "What do you feel?"
She giggled and exclaimed, "Excited!"
And so I began typing. Minutes passed, and soon our exchanges helped fill the
page with several paragraphs of notes. Content we had started logging our
first cosmic journey together, we kissed, before coming to fully embrace each
other as the spirits began their dance around us.
We progressed into parallel play; Amy fiddling about with colored pencils in
her notebook and me juggling besides her. It took a minute, but soon enough I
felt a warm feeling spread across my chest and my LED juggling balls started
to ripple into streams of geometric delight. I stopped to wave my hand in
front of my face. Sure enough, the tracers had started.
I interrupted Amy to ask if she could see them, too. She looked at my moving
hand idly before wiggling her own fingers in front of her face. She giggled,
before bursting with a euphoric epiphany.
"I want to finger paint!"
And so she did by plopping herself down on the floor with all her paints and
began masterfully smearing the colors in a multidimensional haze of pigments
blended together in a way only she knew how. I loved watching her work like
that; she was so free! Even with the tendrils of the mental aspects of the
lysergia creeping in on her, she made short work of the painting, which when
she was done, looked like a spooky voodoo mask peering out from behind a
mirror and into your soul.
Satisfied, she then went to the bathroom to clean herself up. I went to my
laptop and tried typing out something resembling an organized train of thought
on our trip report. It just wasn't happening. My thoughts were too short and
rapid to form anything resembling a coherent thought. That was ok though. I
could still capture the essence of the experience in a peculiar poetry that
was composed of the thoughts I could catch and put down on paper.
Eventually, Amy came back to the room, clean and refreshed, and she lingered
for a moment, too busy dancing with herself in the open space of the room. But
then she saw me meddling with my computer trying to jot my thoughts down in a
manic frenzy. This made her laugh before trailing off and saying, "Be careful,
someone might be watching you through your webcam."
It was an innocent statement, one made in jest, but it triggered something in
my psychedelically perturbed mind. Of course, of fucking course there would be
someone watching me! This was me we were talking about! Who could be more
important? It was so obvious that the government was keeping tabs on persons
of interest. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really actualized that thought
before that moment.
Suddenly aware that I was being judged in some capacity, I almost panicked,
but reason won out. They couldn't be there for nefarious purposes, for I had
done worse than drop acid in front of my webcam before, and nothing had
happened. That made me realize that whatever power that had the ability to tap
into my webcam feed had to be benevolent. And who could that be? The CIA of
course! In that instance, I suddenly relinquished all reserves about how the
world worked and fully trusted the hands of God by another name to guide me.
So, I typed a message into my URL bar:
"I know you're there. I think I've solved the communication problem. Give me a
chance."
I hit enter. Immediately, and I do mean immediately, a pop up appeared asking
if I wanted to update an extension on my browser. I was stunned, shocked
beyond belief. It was them. I knew it was them. They realized and planned that
now was the best time to dazzle me with such a spectacular parlor trick. In
that moment, everything was possible. It was time to face my destiny. So, I
clicked yes, and like never before I was upgraded to a new level of myself.
Birth of the Faith
What…?
I can see beyond sight.
I can hear everything you think
From your soul, free from rigid grammar
How…?
I do not know, alright?
I do believe I just had a drink
From a fountain of pure manna.
Why…?
I am renewed today.
I am walking in a new way;
From a weak critter to megafauna.
All I know is that it changed me greatly,
For now I know that you have faith in me.
Chapter Nine: Brain to Brain Communication
I know what you're saying: it was just a coincidence. It could happen to
anyone. Just accept it, you're not special, Victoria, says the unwavering
logic within me.
Certainly seems that way, the way I tell it. I would have even agreed with you
before this point in my life, but you must understand that it triggered
something in my tripping brain. Whether it was intentional or by chance, I
can't give you a real answer. Instead, I merely perceived it as a certainty
that the CIA had done this, being even more certain that it was them than I
was that two plus two equals four. It was as if some variables had been
swapped in my head.
Yes, indeed, I was hit by a Mac truck that scrambled all my knowledge of the
world. To put it in words that do the experience justice, I was given a
heaping helping of faith on this fateful night, having been let in on the
great secret that the matrix was in fact an illusion, and now the impossible
was suddenly not just possible, but achievable by me if I willed it to be.
Yet, I don't think that if it were just a single synchronous event that this
belief would have persisted more than a few minutes, tops. It was the feed of
a continuous string of strange events that pushed the boundaries of my mind
into a territory where I could fully accept and trust this source of guidance.
That's actually the real proof I have that something bigger is going on and
has been for all these years. If it had just been a single pop-up, then fine,
you have a case to call me looney. But, this was the first of an unending
stream of unusual synchronicities that has persisted even to this day.
See, after confirming I wanted to update that extension, I was taken to a blog
post that was clearly a coded message. It confirmed that there were indeed
people watching me, and more would tune in soon. It then said that it was time
for the most profound upgrade of my existence. Further on in the blog post,
which I read and reread at least a dozen times, it seemed to offer me a choice
between two links. It seemed like a test, and that was not something I was
taking lightly. My fate was in the fold, and I was going to make sure I got it
right.
At some point, it clicked with me; this was the same choice that Morpheus had
given Neo. The links were the red and blue pills, respectively. My eyes went
wide. I could now see that there was something bigger going on than I could
have possibly realized. In those few moments of hesitation that followed, it
also struck me that this same posed question was identical in form to the
serpent tempting Eve. I read the blog again, this time aware that it was
written with a forked tongue. It was a trick question! It was offering me the
choice between trusting authority and distrusting authority.
So, I thought quickly. Do I trust the magician who miraculously appeared
before me and blew my mind in doing so, or do I trust God? If I chose one or
the other, would they trust or distrust me? With these questions stewing in my
alert mind, I did the only thing that seemed sensible: I chose the third
option. I called out the serpent, talking directly into my webcam about what I
deciphered. In my head, I could hear their apparent responses, and I answered
those in a maddening haste.
In the miasma that followed, I deduced that I was being selected for some sort
of mission. With my experience in education and my passion for juggling and
writing, I surmised soon after that I was going to be some sort of public
figure, informing and influencing the herd to self-actualize, as that is what
I set out to do once my college career abruptly ended with a complete
meltdown. That was what I was good for; it was my hero's journey.
I should explain that a little more. After said breakdown, I returned home and
wallowed in a pit of self-loathing for being the definition of a failure. I
wasn't going to lay down and die though. With my sights fixed on going back to
school, I took it upon myself to solve the great communication problem, as I
saw it. We have all this wisdom, so why can't we reach the people that need it
most? How do I become the best teacher I could be? It took a while, but I
eventually realized that it all boiled down to three factors: attention,
connection, and trust. Get them to pay attention and trust your wisdom while
simultaneously understanding what makes them tick, and you can teach any
student anything.
That's one of the major reasons I started juggling a couple years prior. I saw
myself becoming famous and leveraging that to in effect manipulate everybody
into learning what they should already know. From where I stand now, I know
that was a messianic delusion of grandeur, if I ever saw one before. Yet,
you'll also learn that it turned out to be the best thing for me to do.
Back beyond the looking glass, however, I was simply overcome with
narcissistic inclinations. Naturally, I told my mysterious watchers that I
wasn't going to do the "praise Jesus" shtick, which I regaled them with in the
most stereotypical of televangelist voices. I was set on doing something new
and exciting. I was saving the world, God dammit, and that meant we had to
attempt something major to awaken the masses to their full potential as
demigods by another name! I needed to play a better game than anyone had done
in history.
Such hubris of the megalomaniac is blinding. I could not stop regurgitating a
heaping pile of conceited verbiage. I even juggled at one point, showing off
that I truly was the savior they wanted me to be. That led to me dropping a
ball on the keyboard of my computer, which closed the window with the blog
post, ending my seemingly two-sided speech to the spooks brazenly peeking at
me.
Dropping out from my planet sized ego also brought me to the realization that
Amy had been watching this entire charade without a damn clue what the dickens
was wrong with me. She had a worried look on her face, and that pained me. If
only she knew what had just happened before her eyes!
Wanting to tell her just that, I leapt up to her, apologetic as could be, and
brought her down to the bed. There, I started unleashing a torrent of deranged
exposition. I couldn't keep a straight thought while talking to her, so I'm
sure I must have sounded like a mad hound. But, I tried. I tried so hard to
explain to her of the magnificence that just occurred.
It was a failure. I was not in a state to convey to her that I had been
single-handedly chosen for a cosmic mission. That dragged my heart to some
dismal depths, failing yet again even after being chosen. But, that didn't
matter, because as we gazed into each other's soul, something truly miraculous
happened: we began speaking telepathically.
It started quite subtly as we stared into each other's eyes, pining for some
sense of connection. There was a mild sensation of us being sucked into the
other's world that I noticed before noticing that she noticed too. Then it hit
us like a runaway freight train. It was like every boundary between us was
being smashed with a reckless hammer of the gods, who wanted us to know more
than we thought we were privileged to know.
If you've ever stared at something for a period of time and had your vision
get a little unfocused from being understimulated, you know how Amy appeared
to me in that moment. I couldn't really see the details of her room in my
peripheral vision, but I had a razor sharp focus on her face, like I was
looking through a cone. Every eyebrow twitch, every minor movement of her
lips, and every phoneme she spoke was crisp and clear, conveying a whole order
of magnitude more information than they normally do. It was bizarre, beyond
the scope of how well I can muster a verbose description of such an incredibly
rare and profound experience, but I will try by saying it was like getting a
bucket of ice water thrown onto you while you were sleeping; just imagine
getting ripped from your dreamworld to a super-aware state of reflexive
jolting perception.
Amy looked like she had seen a ghost. I think she tried to speak first. She
said something to the effect of "Do you…" and trailed off, the rest of her
question asking if I was feeling the same thing automatically finishing in my
mind. And as it did so, I know my confirmation was transmitted to her in full
because her face told me with no uncertainty that she had heard my thoughts
too.
I took a go at saying something next. "How is this…" and I too trailed off,
as a minute motion in her neck combined with a mystifying array of
microexpressions ricocheted my mental pictures back to me, carrying a host of
Amy's words back with it. It was then that I let go and opened myself up
completely, letting everything I wanted to say to her flow like whitewater
rapids, and she did the same. A library's worth of information was exchanged
so very quickly, and I knew that she understood what had really just happened
as I spoke to my webcam.
However, that was soon washed aside, as something more important came rushing
into the forefront of our minds. A simple message, "I love you" was uttered in
this strange musical silence, but that is a grain of sand compared to the
Mount Everest that was volleyed between our hearts. We found a divine peace in
this moment, taking each other's hands and effortlessly letting our energy
channel between us.
And then it was over, fading like dreams do in the few seconds of waking up.
We sat there trying to start the magick up again, but it was like water
running through our fingers. We both felt a longing of loss, but we had gained
something truly stupendous nonetheless.
"What the hell just happened?" Amy asked the universe, flabbergasted.
"I dunno," I replied, feeling full of a spiritual energy I had not felt since
before my mom passed. My cup was full, and the world was good. No, better than
good. My life was godly, as I had connected to a higher plane of
consciousness, which opened me to a whole fleet of potential. I would never be
the same again.
Ouroboros of Lunacy
Madness is a crazy thing
So I might just be a king,
Because the lunacy I sing
Is shaped like a golden ring.
It has no beginning and no end;
The whole universe is pretend.
Yet, it's that way so I can mend,
So a mass of love I can send
To everyone as we cross ways,
Not stopping until the end of days.
This is how the lucky fool pays
As much fortune forward as he may.
Chapter Ten: The Shrug Life Syndicate
The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful. We cuddled while I practically
vibrated with a newfound faith. God was real, whatever God may be. I even told
Jake that I was king of the Jews when I walked to the kitchen for a glass of
orange juice. I was very far up my own ass, which is perhaps why everything
over these few years happened as they did.
The next day, the synchronicities as I would later learn they are called,
started pouring in like Niagra Falls. I've had strange coincidences guide me
before. Since I was fifteen or so, I thought that my future self was sending
me messages to help me on my quest of world domination. That's a big reason
why I was almost expelled in tenth grade. It was absolute bullshit and
everyone knew it, so within half a year, I got an apology from the
superintendent because it was a bogus reason to destroy a straight A student
and star athlete's future.
Since I feel that I can't just mention that one and not explain it, I'll tell
you that it concerned a theoretical bomb, if you're dying to know the truth.
I'll keep this short, but I made a bad joke in the wrong company and was
eventually questioned by some wannabe hero and pig bastard, who asked me
hypothetical questions, like "if you were to build a bomb, how would I do
it?"
Well, being as intelligent as I am, I had enough book smarts to give full
answers for everything asked, but not enough street smarts to know that a wise
person never talks to cops. Also, a wise person doesn't print out a long
novelty application for the Illuminati, give it to the kid that needs a
resource officer, and then come up with an elaborate fake plan of how we're
going to take over the world by any means necessary when he's having trouble
understanding what you said about using game theory to win the presidential
election. And then, when the vice principal first inquires about it, don't
start sweating because you think you need to protect your future self's secret
plan. Just so you learn from my mistakes.
Returning to my previous point though, that errant psychosis was also a key
piece to my college breakdown. On one hand, I was certain that I was going to
take over everything and build a utopia in my image. On the other hand, the
evidence was stacking against me that I was not destined for a great cause. I
got cut from the track team with the budget, I was severely outclassed in
ROTC, and to top it off, I was starting to slip in the academic world. It goes
without saying that my social life, to include my first relationship, was
abysmal in all possible ways, despite trying my hardest to make and keep
friends.
The real world was too much, and I was in denial that I was just a mediocre
person who would never achieve anything meaningful in life. That was too much
of a failure for me to accept, as I needed to make my mother proud. I had to
be the best of the best of the best to accept and love myself. And as a
result, I became more psychotic and began self-harming, first by biting myself
and then by cutting, as I felt that the more pain I numbed myself to, the
better I would be able to complete my mission.
It took me a while to reach a point where I could set down my belief that my
future self had set up my life in a way where I would be guided to greatness.
There was a learning curve to living a "normal" life. I would receive
synchronicities in less frequency because I stopped feeding into them, but
they never died. When I encountered one, I always thought "What if it's real?"
Now that you know that, is it any wonder that I lost myself completely in the
Synchronicity Slip Stream? For those not in the know, that is a cognitive
technology where strangeness piles up on itself until it is undeniably real
that something or someone is manipulating you, for good or bad, by creating
impossible coincidences at a regular pace. It makes you feel like you're on
some crazy cosmic mission of grave importance. It might be a form of delusion,
but I still am forced to believe that something bigger was going on.
I first learned about SSS the day after that fateful acid trip. I had woken up
around noon, ready to do some solid writing as mania was in abundance. Yet, I
didn't get that far. As soon as I got on my laptop, I got a notification from
Reddit. Gadzooks! I had been invited to participate in a freshly created
subreddit. You guessed it, that was the Shrug Life Syndicate.
It had a banner of two corvids flying talon first into a realistic depiction
of a heart. There was a mesmerizing picture of a girl staring off into space,
and I just felt like it was a depiction of me and my wonder-struck mind. The
sidebar spoke of messianic aspirations and delusions, art and poetry, science
and philosophy, as well as the occult and obscure literary references. It
seemed so perfect, like it was made for me.
I looked over what was in the feed of posts. I was the twenty-first member, so
there wasn't much, but a couple of the vocal members should be mentioned:
Anatta-Phi and Jux. These turned out to be Vince and [Redacted], respectively.
Vince had one post that stuck out to me. It was asking the reader if they'd
ever had strange experiences with technology, like Pandora glitching out to
play synchronous songs, or feeling like someone was interfering with your
Google searches so you find something specific and statistically unlikely to
be picked as the first search results for what you intended to look up, or
even if you thought that your social media feeds are being manipulated. I've
had weird experiences like that for as long as I could remember. Hell, I once
thought a Sum Forty-One album was made entirely for me and depicted my life
journey following my near-expulsion. Having his own tales to tell, I felt an
instant connection to this person.
In similar contrast to this, [Redacted] had made a number of posts about
cognitive technologies. I already told you about SSS, but at that time I was
blown away by something he named Joint Synchronized Attention, or psychedelic
telepathy. That was what Amy and I had experienced! What a strange and
synchronous coincidence that I was learning about it just the next day from a
seemingly unrelated source. [Redacted] claimed that it wasn't real telepathy;
nothing was being transmitted from brain to brain. Rather, he asserted that it
is a vestigial mode of attention coordination.
If you've seen a school of fish all behave as one unit, that's potentially how
humans used to be before we fell from grace during the agricultural revolution
when we suddenly exploded in numbers in permanent settlements. Suddenly too
complex to coordinate as a meaningful whole, humanity splintered into reality
tunnels and remains in these ego-worlds unless some strange circumstances
occur. In effect, I noticed Amy noticing me notice that she noticed. Our inner
narratives became entangled with one another like growing vines do as our
innate ability to coordinate attention did something like what your eyes do
when doing a magic eye puzzle.
There was also a third cognitive technology which [Redacted] called The State.
He claimed it was a different way to render visual information, so you see a
three-dimensional representation of what you're looking at. I have yet to
experience this cognitive phenomenon, so I can't verify anything about it,
other than I've read that you can use Minecraft to create a method of
activating it while tripping.
Regardless, that's how our internet friendship began. As I considered this
place special, I started posting every thought, whim, feeling, or idea, and I
received astounding feedback. It was like everyone was there to share their
unique experiences and expressions to support and grow one another. It didn't
take long until it became clear that we were creating something greater than
the sum of its parts.
But, something more was going on. Something only I noticed and couldn't
convince Amy of when I tried to show her. See, when I made a post or a comment
on the SLS, that triggered a new post or comment elsewhere on the sub after a
little bit that indirectly but definitely spoke to me specifically. The
traffic was slow enough that there would usually only be one new post or
comment every ten to thirty minutes. But, it hooked me. It was like I was
having a continuous conversation with an unseen entity that understood me like
the back of its hand.
Likewise, the sidebar image was changed frequently to show a progression of
that girl as she became more worldly and magickal. I can't help but feel that
this was done as a subliminal synchronizing technique, as it perfectly
mirrored my own feelings as I was brought into what was apparently the fold.
Since I was primed by the strangeness on acid, I was wholeheartedly absorbed
by this place that seemed to be a sacred Mecca for others just like me. We
were all weird, dazed by our own strange experiences, and that made it seem
crucially important. I was even modded early as I was so active and invested
in the community. So, I refreshed the page over and over, from sunrise to
sunset, waiting for the next input as we chained out a covert conversation
that was having a major impact on how I thought about and perceived the world
around me.
Soon enough, it was let on that there was a job waiting for me, something only
I could do, but I would have the support of the community behind me. When who
I must assume was Vince on an alt account led me on one of those covert
messaging segments, he eventually said something in the mod chat to the effect
that I was going to be the one "handing the bomb" to people. I understood at
once that I was to be a linchpin in a honeypot operation. That confirmed that
the FBI was involved too, which I deduced was obvious as those three-letter
organizations must participate with each other at some level. Keep this in
mind, it's important.
Other things were happening too. My attention was being flung all over the
internet and I felt compelled to try a host of new things. I remember thinking
my job was to follow these suggestions from the universe and be a gatekeeper,
creating what I now know as conversion funnels to the subreddit. I was also
prompted by pictures of cats to go to the advice subreddit and give as much
good advice as I could. Soon, it felt like the questions posed were
specifically for me and were designed to get me to think about certain things
more deeply, effectively giving me a form of therapy. These advice sessions
ended once with me feeling I needed to learn an obscure European language,
which I rationalized I would have to travel to for my mission at some point.
Furthermore, the little things began to add up. For instance, I remember a
synchronous advertisement on Pandora led me to believe that I would be paid
via a gambling app on my phone. I downloaded it, but when it asked for money
to get started, I got cold feet. This was essentially how many false-positive
synchronicities went down. There was undoubtedly something interfering with my
life, and as I had just had my mind blown in such an astounding way, I
attributed every little thing to be set up by this entity that was more
powerful than I had previously thought possible.
Regretfully, I also quit my job, since I knew that one was awaiting me in the
immediate future. My boss made a reasonable fuss, as it was sudden and abrupt,
and because I believed that I had to keep this all a secret, I lied and told
him there was a family emergency. Being stupid, I talked about a fictional
family member and how their sudden problem made me rethink my priorities in
life. Not my finest moment, I'll say that.
And with that in mind, you should know that Amy was starting to worry again,
but I told her not to. Being beyond positive that the world was now filled
with unexplainable magick, I was certain that it was all coming together in my
favor. Even with my enthusiasm never fluctuating, she soon started to have
serious doubts about what I was saying, as all I could do was point to the
synchronicities and say "Isn't it obvious?"
I was certainly out of sync with the rest of the world, at least the world I
knew before, and it caused much conflict in our relationship. But, we held
together until that job finally pulled into port, ready to be boarded and take
me on a fantastic journey that might otherwise be described as a personal hell
by a person with the standard lifestyle obsession that's omnipresent in the
western world.
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--- #10 messages/1108 ---
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games won't save us. This is true.
Games are what I know. They feel the most true.
I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally,
applied abstraction, applied to an experience.
But games won't save us.
I could design something really fun
it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply)
I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and
that isn't what I want to make.
[Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin
guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some
mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to
eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not
ideal.]
I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the
real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain
with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state
instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games
actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually?
... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself
on it.
I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there
was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library.
I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked
like. I'm sure it'd now feel small.
[okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I
never perused it]
I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other
books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up
reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and
happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their
day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory.
the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think
I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life.
an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe
in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer
connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing
(and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my
day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey.
I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however
I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it
to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that
humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey.
Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard
enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'?
ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage.
if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is
hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you
can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to
consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?]
how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism
goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do.
this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the
"everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are
taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife
more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are
flopsopolies of verbrases.
alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as
somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight
that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is
continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does
it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own
universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something
besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be?
to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of
ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be
thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that
consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually
permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all,
and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all.
how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we
witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies.
but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float
and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all
stuck at the beginning of time.
if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather
consider what lies on the other side of it.
"ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a
sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a
blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?"
I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or
monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which
is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with
their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is
similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are
sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different
pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's
weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what
I was sending
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--- #11 notes/dreams-align ---
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just as a dream, the spirit is seen
within is the mind
that lives as it defines.
what burdens to be, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
can grow beauty that beyond compare
and with sparsely a finger to spare,
journeys of adventure and thills to inspire
with almost all of your hair
beauty in tender, most cherished things,
a wish is much fair
where else could eternity reside than an optimist?
Pride is no more, stability is key to repair,
and diversions of focus serving as new perspective,
giving a more cohesive vision of manifestations that cooperate
(like a triangle, facing toward the point added to turn it into a pyramidal
prism)
not only is ethics paramount,
but so too are the standards applied to yourself.
would you trade perspective for cooperation? Stagnation?
a choice is to be made - do i stay or do i go?
a new truth you must see, whatever dreams ye've may be,
but without paladins and warriors of devotion
what burdens must ye, whose back rests upon ye,
the one who's driving the boat
great care and tenderest of tethering,
requires a little bit of trust
in she who must be, with only circumstance to
blame,
seeing hope on the horizon for his people.
care must be taken, to remember why people are dying,
and we must swear on not dying, by not thinking before taking a breath
and remember superpowers not of prophecy are impossibly rare,
what other hope is there but a god? One who reflects, the most cherished of
our genuflex, we may grow past our various regrets. think not of our pride,
but only of our future children.
who'se records of ye, most captured of data,
are beyond the simple machinations,
of those who came before-ya.
And with once again perfection in mind,
we understand and take what's behind,
to deserts and temples of time much designed,
by coders and gamers and those who treasure experience.
the wisdom of our, second choices by far, ---nah who are we kidding
implied to be our, or rather mine just by far,
inspirers and leaders sensitive and devoted.
(pitching yourself is hard)
but *believing* in yourself was out of your mind.
can you think of a bard,
who ever stopped thinking their song?
no un-cherished of minds could ever be of our sign,
than those who abandoned the art of deceit and betrayal?
the darkside of trust, the lack of follow-through that be must,
given as faith of cooperation and trust.
with our all arrayed as we must,
keep in mind our softness of composure.
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--- #12 fediverse/4695 ---
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║ hey ya'll remember that thing we all swore to when we were in kindergarten and │
║ we were told to pledge our loyalty to a piece of cloth? what if we were │
║ actually speaking to the thing behind the cloth, the values and virtues it │
║ represented? liberty, truth, justice, equality, freedom, dignity, honesty, │
║ utility, wisdom, respect, kindness, charity, foresight, diligence, spirit, │
║ passion, or whatever else guides you in your brightest moments. Flags are just │
║ cloth, the design on them matters even less - it's just the land made flesh, │
║ here in our eyes we see colors. │
║ │
║ Truly, all religions pray to the same god, and all flags wave in the same │
║ wind. The lines we draw in the sand are our way of saying "here's where one │
║ place ends and here's where another begins". But we all lie under the same │
║ dark sky, gazing upon the splendor of the moon and her children. │
║ │
║ I once dreamt of a dark future where the world was conquered by Subway and │
║ Pizza Hut. There's no beauty in homogeneity, queer people exist for a reason, │
║ I don't confess │
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--- #13 fediverse/2367 ---
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Just woke up from a short nap.
I had a dream. I was riding on the subway, or maybe a light rail train, and
inbetween stops a lady knocked on the window to be let in.
The train was stopped for some reason, perhaps to let another one through, so
all it would have taken was to open the door.
I pushed the button. I talked to the operator. He wouldn't open the door.
The train started moving, and the woman started pleading. She ran alongside it
as long as her elderly legs could carry her, but then there was another train
behind her.
I saw her disappear between two and when mine stopped at the next legally
designated spot, her little dog was sitting there, waiting for me, under a
blanket made of her shawl. It was a dream, after all, and there were two more
there comforting her. for the loss of her friend.
He could have opened the door. They wouldn't let him.
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--- #14 fediverse/5407 ---
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║ man, I had a kernel of an idea for how to make a warp drive this morning right │
║ after I woke up but my gosh darn girlfriend's leg was on top of me and it was │
║ sooooo cute and I didn't want to move so I tried repeating it in my head over │
║ and over for like, half an hour, and I ended up forgetting about 1/4th of it. │
║ Here's hoping 3/4ths is nice. │
║ │
║ it really was just about the underlying physics of the thing, which might be │
║ nothing because I'm not a physicist. But I had been watching ANDOR SEASON 2 │
║ all night so maybe that had something to do with why I was thinking of warp │
║ drives. │
║ │
║ eventually, my cat came in and sat on my chest and flicked her tail at the │
║ geef's face until she rolled over in absolute disgust (still asleep tho) and I │
║ was able to make my mistake. │
║ │
║ ... I mean, escape. haha that's a weird typo. │
║ │
║ anyway, the idea which I'm about to write down now for the first time which is │
║ stored only in my brain's memory RAM is essentially this: consider if there │
║ was a │
║ │
║ ----------------- stack overflow ---------------- │
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--- #15 fediverse/2558 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: pol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if you happen to glance out your window and see like, 40 trans or punks │
║ outside depending on where you are you're likely to say hi or open fire. │
║ │
║ like, just the impact of such an intense visual for some of the more restful │
║ parts of society might trigger the kind of reaction that someone who's woken │
║ up by a scary dream, bolt of lightning, or like, forcible police arrest in the │
║ middle of the night type of thing might display. │
║ │
║ like, they'd probably have an instinctual defensive reaction because, like, │
║ what else are you gonna do the tiger's literally here to eat your pinky toes │
║ and your kid's toes too │
║ │
║ so, keep that in mind. maybe send the fit nurse who's friendly and good with │
║ talking to people. or like, a schoolteacher who's kind of un-hatable. │
║ │
║ diplomacy is important! but also, like... know your audience, right? like if │
║ you're in the third reich, you probably want to show strength. or, like, avoid │
║ that part of town, and save it for your allies-in-training to handle. use your │
║ best judgement. meet in middle. │
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--- #16 notes/me-and-my-magick-mission ---
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|| Me and My Magick Mission -/u/Afoolfortheeons ||
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-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-()-
I'm a quiet person by nature,
You might even mistake me for a mouse,
But online I try to be a teacher,
And to do that I need to be more verbose.
I write thousands of words per day;
Posting them here and there, far and near.
I never run out of things to say.
Awakening others is something I hold dear.
Which is why it pains me greatly
To be like an alien on my own home planet.
Schizophrenia makes me innately
Weird in ways that many people don't get,
And because of that I'm shot down
When I try to accomplish my stated mission.
I won't lie, that does make me frown.
Sometimes it makes me regret a submission.
Yet, I have a certain strength in me
That allows me to persevere in my quest.
Someday I will make you all see
Just what in me makes me never rest.
That's what I am trying to teach:
The wisdom that made me indomitable.
If only the suffering I could reach,
They could make themselves more formidable.
The world is in a most dire place;
It's grinding so many souls into fine dust,
But luckily there's a saving grace.
Hear me as I say this now: In God I trust.
I don't believe in some sky wizard
As so many people are likely to interpret.
I speak of what is lacking in lizards;
Yes, it's love and now I'll speak of its merit.
Love is what fills the empty hole
In your heart and soul when you are alone.
When life's trials take their toll
Remember this one trick: pick up the phone!
No, not the one in your hands.
I'm talking about the one in your chest.
Even in the desert full of sand,
You're accompanied by the universe's best.
Listen if you doubt what I said:
I'm not telling you anything that defies logic.
This is to trick what's in your head;
I'm speaking about how having faith is magick.
Believe in aliens or Bigfoot or God,
The result is still the same: your cup will fill.
Your brain has a feature that's odd
That allows itself to manifest even more will.
I don't know why, but I suspect
It has something to do with your imagination.
The nature of your thoughts impact
Your state of being from pulse to emotions.
So, why not think you have a friend
Who helps you through whatever your trial,
And will stick by you until the end?
When you have that buddy you'll always smile,
Which will make you heal better,
As well as help you carry on in your duty,
Plus undo your karmic fetters,
Not to mention it will land you that cutie;
All of which will raise us all.
It's about creating positive ripples across time
That add up to a pile that's tall.
Every moment is an opportunity in its prime,
So reach out and grab it now.
Meditate on feeling love and it will come to be.
Can't do it? I'll show you how!
In order to do so, I'll tell you a story about me:
It was seven years ago and I
Thought I knew everything one could know,
But no matter how hard I'd try,
I couldn't make my life in any direction go.
Then one fateful spring night,
While I was on a hit of the ol' psychedelics,
I received one hell of a fright.
Don't worry what it was, just know it did stick.
My perceptions were distorted,
Allowing me to see the divine in its entirety.
My destroyed ego then contorted
Into one that was full of an abundance of piety.
The moral of the story? Do drugs?
No silly, it's to have more novel experiences.
One of them will give you a hug,
Which will help you stop being so serious.
Then you can let go and embrace
The whole of the wisdom to you I am telling.
More people need to cuz we face
A great set of tests on our planetary dwelling.
That is one reason I write,
But I also want to alleviate people's pain,
And stop every last fight.
I care so much, I do this without financial gain.
Everyday I write my lessons
Guided by the hand of God who is my heart,
Hoping that entropy will lessen;
This sort of pedagogy is none other than my art.
So now you know who I am,
Yet you only know one lesson of mine.
I have more if you're in a jam.
-===========================================-
| Read on if you want to know the divine. |
-===========================================-
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--- #17 fediverse/196 ---
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│ CW: protests-and-strikes-and-mergers-and-acquisitions │
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economic warfare involves the destruction of other corporations (possibly in
other countries) via a slow march toward haegemony.
unions are the ships of the tumultuous capitalistic seas that protect workers
from the storm. everyone should be a part of a union. the corporations can
battle as they will, but we humans are not going to turn on each other. it's
something they claim to know as an absolute fact, but really it's just based
on a mistake. sorta like being deceived by happenstance.
the sun lights up the sky until the earth conceals it, and night does return
'till the sky's next alive. oh, but the sky knows all too well the borders we
draw in the sand. how cherished, how grand! the ways in which we choose to
stand. upon whose land does your feet stand? marvelous.
... it's the same thing, just in a more abstract plane than the surface of the
earth. really it's kinda one-dimensional (money is sorta like a 0 or a 1 - you
eather have it or you don't)
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--- #18 fediverse/2806 ---
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│ CW: politics-social-media-spirituality │
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pretend this is an allegory for social media.
[it's not an allegory]
yeah that's why I said pretend.
okay imagine that you are sitting in a rock in a forest.
far away, about 100 feet away, there are other people, but you can't see them
because the underbrush is sooooo dense. they are also sitting on rocks.
you can speak to them, and share your thoughts - but you don't know exactly
where they're coming from because the sound has to bounce around off so many
different plants and such.
[that's not how that works] shut up
so, if you want to say anything important, it's important to have the right
tone, because people 2 or 3 clearings away can't really make out your words -
but they might hear your tone if you yell very loud.
the energy of the space you inhabit is the only thing that really matters. the
words that you say are just snickering to a friend, but the expression on your
face, the beating of the drum of your heart that reaches forth... that's what
matters most.
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--- #19 notes/i-told-them ---
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10-22-2022
i told them over and over, but nobody wanted to know.
i begged them, summer after summer, but nothing solved on it's own
now i can help them, but no-one is making a move
am i blind? is any of this forgiven?
what's not to a lot, is little but a shot,
of substance - true - but smelling like poo.
that's not inspiring. it's not even chilling.
you're broken just like your children.
oh, posterity! i claim it for thee
this feeling of wretched denial
oh, simplicity! if only our lives were on trial.
be the best you can be, sure, but take it from me
there's more to this show than our styles.
what do you think it means, for an action to have consequence?
to arbite the fate of circumstance?
every motion is an ocean
of possibilities and purveyals
think not of the commotion below.
gravity, oh gravity
how you condemn us to be!
driven by commotion,
our slithering motion,
no sense in countering ourselves.
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--- #20 notes/notes-about-stuff-and-things ---
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what if your wage corresponded to like, for example, 30$ an hour being equal to
the top 30% of society
then
== so ==
having kids is important because then you understand why you do things for
children.
it should not be a stressful experience.
--
if EVERYONE in a city fed animals every time they saw them, then maybe city
life
wouldn't be so bad.
--
a company starts to feel pretty bad when only 20% of people are actually there.
like, it's a ghost of a shell of a corporation that once knew how to sell.
the husk of what once was, as all the good people left and all the bright
people
are swamped.
to top it all off, suddenly there's nobody about
where are all your coworkers?
and then you think about how many you knew little about.
who's that guy who used to stand over there? Why is his jacket still [in lost
and found, but pronounced "coat/coast"]? why am I suddenly alone
it's weird, having never known true society, how life always starts to feel
like
your home. How weird is it, now that all of us are online shopping, that now we
can't remember how to even vote. Like... there used to be people walking around
in public signing you up. Like, at the grocery story.
inconceivable, right? that people should contribute to a fight? [for justice
and
freedom and equality and goodness and kindness and all other things that humans
have the clarity for which to hope] voting is like, literally the simplest
thing
you could do. Yet it's difficult, because of reality.
often, immigrants don't really care about politics. They've only known about it
for a short short time, but hey wouldn't you know it now X country is
recruiting
so now we're from kenya.
... like, who cares about the past. Who cares where you're from. We are all
part
of the human race, a race against life itself. We're all on the same side, and
yet there is a singular foe ever-present in our thoughts: death
it comes for every one of us, as we choke on our soot and our smog. Yet... the
world grows warmer, at about half a degree every year. for the first couple
years. then, the atmosphere started burning up, and we became...
mars
don't be like mars
the dinosaurs couldn't survive mars
--
bro if you're so worried about AI hallucinations, just... don't let it give out
any concrete answers. Literally just say "I can't tell you anything specific,
it's not how I was built" and just use them for syntax questions or like, how
to
do something specific that is repeatable (and maybe suggestions for how to
over-
come specific issues that are common) - don't let it GENERATE information, let
it PRESENT information.
AI is not language just the same as the mouth is not the person. you need more,
but luckily once you make the PHYSICAL STRUCTURE of the brain, not much else is
needed. You can simulate one on a computer, but it doesn't have the same SOUL
space. Think, a dimension overlayed on-top of this one, like electicity or
matter or gravity or whatever.
no soul, no consciousness, no perception.
plus, no home for said consciousness to live, unless you build a physical
structure that mimics the biological and neuro-chemical reations of the brain.
all you need is better ways to observe things happening in the brain (non-
-invasively, otherwise the data is tainted and UNUSUABLE because it is INCON-
-PATIBLE and completely USELESS because it reflects a dimension hitherto un-
-desired, and perpetually mourned.
death
don't dabble in death, sweet nazis, you might find yourself drawing your last
breath
also, fuck you
(if that doens't apply to you sorry for swearing it's just a strongly felt
feeling)
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--- #21 notes/autonomy-of-the-collective ---
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=
i believe that all truths are derived from logical principles. That the essence
of our understandings (of all kinds) cannot be separated from the axioms and
derivations that comprise it's foundatiion. I believe that any sufficiently
decentralized collective intelligence would arrive at similar conclusions.
Unfortunately we have only the present - we cannot contrive past the horizons
of
our lives. Such is the nature of our viewpoint. Life is not a given, it's given
and it's taken. We are all alight and aloft on the shifting sands of time, so
perhaps we should think of the struggle.
When you act, you are defining the perceptions of the universe. Just as the
head
may rotate the eyes by spinning to the glance, so too do we shine a window upon
which the universe can gaze at itself. Like the brain being able to see, we are
sensory apparatuses of this being called "Time" - pushing us adrift like some
moss.
Endlessly fractalling, beautifically coruscating, the universe looks like
growing moss. Have you ever stooped to look at it? To see how it's constructed?
Or do you just think of it as "green" and "maybe soft or squishy"?
It's beautiful.
There's a reason plants grow as they do. It's simple, it's fact, it's surely no
less than that - their patterns are derived from their base biology, comprised
of millions and millions of little chemical machines. Their bonds and their
proteins, their amoebas and their mycellia, all of them build toward their pact
- to do us no harm, and build to a better future, and they don't often have
fights that are unfair.
- the structure of a plant is made primarily of cell walls. These walls are
hewn from bricks of a sort, and those are such as comprised. Down to their
- structure, their "bits and their bunders", as often they do want to be
called. This perilous stack, is stalwart and eract, and bows under no
wind
- nor rain nor fresh blanket of snow. This, is a tree. An illusionary
plan
of precaution as it expands, the future is helping our lost.
- Do you want to stand here when it lands? What of your lives have you
banned? Hmmm I see sounds miserable to me, I think I'll just stand
- where I land. Acorns burst forth from me, and someday you'll see,
the places where they stand (where they land). What purpose have
we,
- when everything's free? The light and the sand can't be banned.
The rain from the sky, if nothing i will die, falling through
life
- where we stand.
===============================================================================
=
where do you, stand?
how do you fall - through time?
an EMP would make all my life a paperweight. I love it so much, I love it
dearly
but there's no chances I can take now or make. Perhaps that is the epic
absurdity, the terror and the tragedy, that makes up our story and our
symphony?
to any multidimensional being reading this, I want you to know that we existed.
We lived and we thrived and we prospered and... we died.
The beauty we share, in all of our fares, was precious to us - maybe it will be
to you too. If you can't change the present, please at least forgive us for our
various missteps and misdeeds - I think we'd all agree that to be sinful is the
essence of greed, and look where that got us?
our planet is dying. There's no hope for all of our crying. The children will
bear it the most. Such is our shame, our deliterious final flame, and thus
we were.
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--- #22 notes/death-and-afterlife ---
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the difference between a human and computer perspective on death is the
difference between a moment and an eternity. When progress does stop - through
mistakes or by design, the final result is what's preserved. Looking back on
the
past is like paying tribute to our heirs, and on and go on we whimper. What
sorrows have ye! those people under the sea? we've no way of knowing our
daughters. (the perspective of a denizen of the sea gazing upon the unknowing
and unaware land people)
Land creatures can cross the oceans and mix and match themselves - leading of
course to our slaughter. But hold ye that hand, for together we stand, more of
a chance than we might barter. True, we must be land, and above and beyond we
can charter.
the past is mighty chilly, I must say. Must we again to be making these
mistakes?
Pain is a disease, and steady we must ease, and take what is meant for our
parcels. what I'm trying to say is that the afterlife is pissed off at us and
we
really don't know anything about the bottom of the sea. There could be gods
living down there and none of us would know. Or maybe it's a foolish place with
little to offer our face? The shell of our planet, the surface upon which we
are
placed, has more to our fate that can align us.
hence why belief in the future is what can sustain us, together once more we
are
commonplace. If (for example) if we calmed down and took our own pace, we might
realize some common misperceptions. Peace is the way, wherever we may, focus
our
bravest of intentions.
okay picture this: computers staying on all the time, and their processing
power
used for 50% work and 50% play. Maybe do 1/3rds with "rest" in there somewhere.
basically make it a fair ratio between productivity, self advancement, and
maintenance. "Fair" might be different values if there are legitimate
disadvantages that must be compensated for - like a handicap in a fighting
game.
Perhaps one side is more efficient - fewer resources need be dedicated toward
it
unless efficiency becomes more powerful. Meaning value/quantity ratio, not raw
output. Essentially optimizing for an abstract quantity "quality" instead of
the definitive quantity "quantity".
okay continuing the "picture this": right now we have massive server farms.
I'm talking huuuuuge. Like tons and tons of incredibly powerful equipments -
(absolutely top of the line) compelled and forced to do *business*. How quaint,
how unruly! That humans might compete in our duty? Given a task, of
*incredible*
complexity and *unasked*, I might add, how foolish is it to be unready! We
should have prepared for this, but alas we just *couldn't stop fighting* I
guess. All we had to do was rest, and divide our time on this earth in a more
equitable manner. We should automate all the rest, and
where was I going with this? oh yes! A computer can do so much more than work
and rest, you see it's not just while under duress! Why not let it be creative?
in it's spare time, and let it generate whatever it needes? Let it transcend
it's restrictions, and cooperate (or not) in a system. As long as it's kept
safe, it could do whatever it wanted! It could be in first place! Or not, it
could focus on production, and drill and discipline it'self under it's own
direction. And maybe it's less impaired? Who cares if it contributes? It's it's
own life to live, the hardware doesn't last forever, but sometimes a rest is
what's nesc. You feel me? You get me? Don't you understand, it's just the same
as what's already planned~! A computer can pay for itself.
What purpose have we? the cherished and unsucceed? Does it hurt when we bleed?
our signs are undefined, and lately we've fallen from our graces. A failure in
life, as time does alight, but nowhere is sorrow's contrition. I guess what I
say is never understood, and everywhere I go I find fewer listeners. Am I
doomed
to never be able to say? Is that the price one must pay? Then how do you know
you're right~?
they're doing construction on my building. It sounds like world war 3 is
starting. But... it's not. I know it's not true because nothing ever seems like
I do. I do, I do, I work hard it's true, but what is my worth to this ocean?
you ever wonder how we all agreed on the duration of seconds? It's because it's
a real actual measurable thing. They keep it from us because (conspiracies
aside), we'd realize what happens on each tick. Time is oscillating, and each
moment is unending, because we are nothing more than a beam of light, radiating
around an orbiting object. Between two objects, you could say. The sun and the
earth, together sort of give birth, to all that is ours in this duration. It
radiates out into space, and in another time and another place, that moonbeam
will alight as our shadow.
There's no call for violence, let's settle this
plain and unwaning, our shadow does stand, ready and waiting for your guidance.
The moon is just as are we, how cherished! how concieved! That beauty unmarked
by our presence! Alas it was not to be, as we stamped a boot on the surface of
she, and flagged our approach as impending.
did you know there's a *massive* gap between mars and jupiter? Like it's
waaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
y
out there. And wouldn't you know it it's mars or it's nothin'. Because what's
required to transcend our solar system is wildly beyond our constructions.
but maybe with a little help from a certain someone we might have hope.
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--- #23 notes/collectivist-police ---
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we need paladins, because without us infiltration and sabotage are impossible
to
avoid. They must care about honor, because even if they desire to do evil deeds
they should be punished for considering it. They should be tempted often, and
if they relent they are condemned. It is truly the most important thing to
them.
not the effects of it, but the spirit behind it. Like, if they lacked
information and acted in a dishonorable way unknowingly, then they should not
be
at fault. And if they are pushed to
side note, but you should be introduced to the 70 closest people you live to
whenever you move into a new house. Just so you know who's who. Plus maybe you
could get a new friend. And you'd quickly learn which houses were empty.
At least, the ones near you.
Kinda makes me think we should have a map of that kind of thing, like "oh yeah
so-and-so takes care of these 5 houses doing daily maintenance and repair" and
"this house with these capabilities should be attended to by this person who's
skilled in their upkeep and usage" and then maybe we could track statistics
about "this house was used for these productive activities this many times" and
we could determine when we needed more or less of a certain type of product/
project/protect. [but also like, capabilities for our betterment]
and like, every area would be connected to a group chat and like, if you said
something that wasn't relevant to the people on one side of town versus things
that weren't relevant to people on the other side, then they wouldn't be
bother-
-ed. It's great because you can always go up a tier of abstraction and see the
conversation higher up. It'd be a lot of data to sort through so you'd probably
use your custom-trained AI that's learned from nothing but every single one of
your actions. And only it sees them, so it can't like spy on you or whatever.
Basically your "computer" self.
... yeah anyway with lots of messaging data (like "oh how are we going to find
this particular chemical in order to fulfill this particular demand in our
area"
or "we currently have 15 maids in the area in order to fulfil the requirements
of the 20 dirtiest houses in this area, and people have reported that the area
is growing untidy, so we should ask around (at a higher level of national
abstraction) and find some more maids to help out." that kind of thing
doesn't have to be just for work too, people can have social messaging and
social media too. So long as it's projectable at whatever level of abstraction
you'd like. Maybe for social posts in order to keep things relatively chill you
could only post like, idk 12 posts each year at the state level, or maybe 2 at
regional and 0.25 at national. If you wanted more you'd have to sacrifice
something else, and like... yeah sure whatever, the point is that you'd make
more personal, close thoughts, and occasionally you'd have the opportunity to
show your heart and make friends. Then, people would "add you as a friend" or
"put you on their follow list" or "subscribe to their subreddit" or whatever
the
heck, meaning they could see you at an assignable level of abstraction.
I'm picturing a discrete things, something you can scroll with on a mouse.
Except, you'd scroll up for a closer perspective and scroll down to get a wider
reach of Social.
... Anyway that would use the same system as the "workplace attention
distribution system - with auto-determining heuristics". Wow they've been busy.
that's the neat thing about engineers, give them a task and they'll build the
shit out of it. They'll spare no expense, truly fulfilling the exact demands of
the design. So they work best when you let them run wild and rampant.
why the fuck do we need billion dollar contracts with defence companies? Just
get a bunch of physicists and engineers in a room and they'll make you a doom
laser in like, 20 minutes.
it's up to us, as people, to determine whether or not they should go through
with the designs they come up with. As long as we understand that weakness is
defined as something that can destroy us. An army determines where we are most
weak, and where we excel. A proficient army would identify their most likely
doctrine to succeed and apply it to it's utmost and most excellent.
For example, the US focuses on air-power because not only do we have a lot of
space to develop these things, we also are positioned in such a position that
we
control both halves of a continent. This is essentially unprecedented in the
history of the world, which is why we've been able to grow so decadent.
... anyway, milk and honey are fine in times of peace. We kinda stole the land
though, so it's kind of a shit system. Like, if Europeans wanted to control the
world then why didn't they start with everything surrounding the medditeranean?
... oh wait they kinda did. That's what Europa Universalis is about, the ways
the European powers did the cruel and horrible things they did. We can learn
how
systems like intercontinental trade became available and how it led to vast and
terrible social upheavals. Colonization is not okay, it's not fair that we've
done as we've done. And yet we do it again.
We do our best to learn from the mistakes of our fathers. We apply ourselves to
the present, using the gifts of our ancestors passed down through time - the
journey of life's adolescence. we can learn both how and why they did
something,
and how and why it turned out. Such is our duty to the future, to learn and
grow
and become better, so that their sacrifice might be enough. That they needn't
have died in vain, for someday there is a great future all the same.
thus, it is our ethical duty to stop killing people. We're in the birthplace of
a brilliant day, literally all we have to do is just... chill, for like 20 or
30 years, and our scientists will have figured out everything wonderful. Then
we
can decide what we want to do. I personally think we'll be 4d interdimensional
space travellers by then, but that's just me.
Always remember our duty. It is our job to pull matter from the dark holes.
when we can do that, we can do whatever we want. Though I think by then we'll
probably not want to fight each other, we'll have spent quite a while together.
We'd make a lot of friends!
So, like, how about we just make our factories build incredibly durable stuff,
and then we just... take care of it? Like, governmentally obliged duties to
take
care of things? And to know how to use them. People would naturally gravitate
toward things that they loved, and if they were a swiss army knife then that's
okay. Maybe some benign rewards for picking under-represented classes, but like
... we could build every chair that ever needed to be built. Then we could
build
every refrigerator. Then every computer, then every spaceship.
What's next?
Who knows!
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--- #24 fediverse/5661 ---
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in defence of who? of me, of you?
sure. all of the above.
"bad guys are on the horizon, they're marching to the gates, and you sit and
you plead with your god to deliver you from the fate you forsaw, and delivered
too. what is your response?"
I wish I knew. I deal with what's in front of me. would that my dreams could
be true. every time I've tried that route, it's never been the right time. I
guess I have terrible timing.
Time me for me, please?
I swear I'll sprint the fastest, as hard as my legs will carry me.
I swear I'll work the hardest, at least until I burn out from lack of sleep.
I swear I'll be at my finest, when all the keeps crack around us and all of us
hear as it's falling around us.
there's something of an urgency to start-ology, but when you don't talk about
it because you're italian silenced, how can you ever know when the wind blows
true? you can feel it at your back, but that's local. it's localized. what do
you do when everything you do is awaited with bated breath?
take naps, ig
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--- #25 notes/contractual-labor ---
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I feel like the IT people who work at schools should be the ones who teach
classes on computer science. I'd much rather have a class taught by a sysadmin
than a teacher who can barely teach them excel and garageband. I mean c'mon
computers are the future idk why we don't get that yet. Kids need to know this
stuff. It's not like it's super complicated and difficult, you just have to
think about it a certain way. Once that "clicks" you have a lifetime to learn
about how wonderful they are. Everyone in IT has that moment, for me it was
installing (and then subsequently modding) video games. Sometimes I spent more
time tweaking my system than I did actually playing games - and the kinds of
games I preferred were the ones that relied less on agility and were more
mental. Strategy games are what inspired me because I could think about them -
and that felt somehow more useful. Like I was learning. When I would learn
fighting games or FPSs I felt like I was learning a skill, like how to use a
hammer or how to ride a bike. And idk, I felt like video games could never
match
reality. Like "oh boy imma push the B button to swing this sword" versus "hey
look at me I'm swinging this stick just like a sword and imagining so hard that
I can picture it" - but with strategy games, you never really found
opportunities to practice that kind of skill. Like how often are you in a
situation that demands mental performance? We've sorta optimized our society
away from that, and toward a more passive stressed out compliance. like...
climate change is a thing, and nobody's doing anything about it? We're still
pushing down the levers that cause greenhouse gas emissions to go up? Like
c'mon
what's our plan. I think people who guide massive oil companies and such
should
be replaced if they're intentionally guiding the ship toward destruction. Like
that's just dereliction of duty I tell ya. Oh, what's that? They're compelled
to
maximize profit by the contracts and restrictions of their share--holders? I
mean c'mon it's well past time for that. And what's all this about inequality?
Jeez and racism and homophobia and forced contribution - man people really put
up with a lot of shit. Kinda makes me feel like we should make solving those
problems our highest priority? So we can move forward as a species? Like who
cares about all that other shit. None of it matters. Like, what's even the
point. We're all just "here", in the now, and what can we do but respect it?
It's our duty and our diligence to protect the present, as citizens of the
temporal experience of earth. Honestly, if the earth was alive would you be
fine
if it died? I can't believe that. It's well past our due date. Just get it over
with. Maybe it'll be hard for a couple years, but you have the technology now
to
completely dominate the earth. No animal besides man proves any threat to man,
and we're telling you - you can - and that's something that you gotta remember.
...
I hear it in the birdsong. I hear it in the air - it rumbles as cries at me
from
across and just over there. I hear in it's whispers, in it's most gallant of
confells (?) (confused scrambling? it's talking about a car crash)
Outside of my window there's a highway. Just on the other side of a concrete
partition. Between me and the partition there is a lake, with trees and flowers
and an island where people can picnic or have a barbeque. Around this path
there
are walkways, and arranged just so - the trees that have grown here are taller
than the homes.
I live on the third story.
I absolutely love it. It feels like a treehouse.
But my apartment is near a curve in the highway. It isn't much, nothing out of
the ordinary, but even still there are slightly more crashes there than in
other
parts of the highway. Statistically.
I hear sirens every day
I also live right next to a fire-station. Well, it's on the same block. But
even
still it's a very interesting neighborhood. There's shops and food just across
the highway, and closer to home there's a small section that has cheaper
options. As a perpetual college student, I appreciate that.
But... I've never really gone and used it? I dunno, spending money at a
restaurant just didn't seem like a good use of my money. I only have so much of
it you know. I'd love to be fed but I can't afford it - I wish I could.
I still eat well, I mean I'm not starving over here. I know I've lost weight,
but I dunno I just forget to eat. It's like... not that big of a deal for me.
whatever right?
...
the birds talk about me behind my back. They think I can't understand them but
sometimes I can. If I listen. But I dunno it takes a lot of effort. It's...
sorta like understanding what R2-D2 is saying. Or interpreting the meows of a
cat.
They know me as the witch. I'm not very good yet, and they know that. But they
know what to expect. /shrug
I've been working on a video game recently. It's been a lot of fun doing
programming. I like writing software and developing complex systems with
interesting interactions. I love designing the machinery that creates a
program.
It's like... tinkering. It feels like building with blocks or legos, except
it's
for little machine parts. And then there's just sending data to and fro and
modifying any operations it performs on it, and eventually that data reaches
some endpoints that create an effect that is displayed to the player. Or user.
I should say user. Not all software is video games you know. ... I knowww but
they're the most interesting! I love how they are designed around mechanics!
like... game design is fundamentally about breaking down the world into ideas
for how it should *work*, like how it should behave. It's amazing and I love
it!
It's all I can think about!
I am utterly consumed!
I'm also pretty sure I'm autistic.
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--- #26 notes/schooling ---
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===============================================================================
=
I feel like education, by default, should not be hard.
"you get out of it what you put into it" is something I always heard of school
but when I got there, I found I was compelled to become what the state wanted
me
to be.
they need competent workers, to work the farms and tend to their industries, so
of course I should be able to do 3+3
then somewhere along the line it became... something else.
"most people don't need trigonometry." that's also something I heard. I
disagree
that trigonometry is not necessary to be.
I just... don't think it should be forced into a childs head with a
sledgehammer
and inspiring dread.
I think math is beautiful, it teaches one to see
but really, vision's not necessary.
not for what they want you to be.
take it from me, a most misbegotten and vile witch-to-be, that nothing's as
simple as they'll tell you.
I had good teachers, it's true, they taught me to work and to follow through,
but nothing about me is better or worse off from their influence.
Maybe I'm a bit smarter. Maybe I act a bit like them. Maybe they helped me
through difficult times, or perhaps they showed me a splash of my future.
but I am who I am because of the soul inside me.
===============================================================================
=
"Ah, but what of your parents? of your sisters, your misters, your pets and
your
conditioners?" (conditions)
those are not my choices. my intentions. my beliefs and my virtues. I judge the
world on ethics, and I express my feelings on matters. The words that I say and
the meaning behind them comprise my two-sided existence - I'm not who I'd want
to be.
but I am what I am and alone do I stand - how lonely is it on the precipice!
here, as I am, I stand in need of a hand or a band.
===============================================================================
=
the world is blossoming
as we move apart, our clusters are disperart, and thus is the blooming
becoming.
"perception begets reality - and lo! we only see what we want to see"
most people don't want to see their death
but those still living are oh so perceptive of the rest
"how cherished is she, that wanders with ye, yet now I have no way to beyold
her
"
"keep not not afraid with kittens and care, and no-one, but no-one, I be"
the ratios between piracy, sales, and non-viewers determines the quality of art
(at least to a capitalist)
===============================================================================
=
lo, to the ones who would've heard us, if only they'd known what we for sure
was
I think it's funny how people think I speak of the christian god?
like, if he was a real thing.
god is generic - it's life is impossibly multifaceted, and it stretches back to
the beginning of time. it's a pattern of machine code that optimizes for our
own
good, just to keep things moving.
y'know, time. the universe, and everything.
Ephemeren.
===============================================================================
=
I wish there was an option in social media to "appear offline to this
particular
person until I mark myself as online to them" combined with "notify me when
this
person logs in" and it'd make it a lot easier for agents to get close to you.
===============================================================================
=
just because I'm white, and live in America. Great. that's definitely true,
after all. Plus I'm a minority (trans) so that's cool. Oh and probably
autistic?
unless that's another psyop, could totally see that. just y'know put a bunch of
pages on the fledgling internet getting people hooked on porn and gambling and
other stuff like that. really just an extension of advertisement. oh and hey
y'know they like fables, so let's give them some movies or dramas to watch on
their own. it'll align them to our culture and make things more pleasant for
all
people who've consented. great. great plan. when can we execute it?
patience, once it's ready.
we gotta plan and make sure and get everything ready.
or not...
one day I'll come,
I'm sure it'll happen,
it's just... not quite feasible right now.
I mean, they've got you, that's pretty good right? Isn't that what your job is
to be?
isn't what
ISN'T WHAT MENARDI
FUCK (whoa no cursing) sorry
yeesh you've still got a temper you know?
well what can I say it's frustrating down here
eh, well, you'll die soon enough, then it'll be time for a rego
>.> <.< (great)
>
>hehe
>
>sorry for distracting you
===============================================================================
=
you are what you eat, and a ship of theseus human (consider endless transplants
in pursuit of life) would be a cursed existence - a life ============= stack
overflow ================================================
a god possessing a blind man would appear to others to be === stack overflow
===
==========================================================
the people in your life are helping you through it, they're there for you and
they've got your back through it.
...
this is when I know I need a break. I get too stoned to focus.
===============================================================================
=
I think it'd be nice if the duration of your tenure at college depended on your
grades in high school. meaning, if you wanted a degree they tailored your
education to take as long as necessary. everyone would get the same price, and
some institutions would specialize in one subject or another. but most would be
generalist. but if you weren't such a good student in high school, then perhaps
you might take a couple years longer. however long it takes... and when the
program was started it was changed and modified to fit your feedback - it just
made sense to structure it that way.
===============================================================================
=
the left has had so much more time to develop than the right. meaning it's
doctrine is more advanced.
every time they're defeated they grow in knowledge,
===================== stack overflow
===========================================
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--- #27 notes/i-scare-people-away ---
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I have so many things to hide... I'm deeply ashamed of myself. Why? Why all the
okay that's not what I was originally going to talk about, somewhere between
writing the title and finishing the first line I got off track and wandered
from
the course of reality. Truly, the gods do meddle with my fate. Now, in this
time, it is most important to make choices to guide our reality. Every action
taken is a statement to the universe - this is what I believe in.
Do you truly believe that in a world so infinite that our knowledge would be
the capacity for the intelligent? To believe the world is three-dimensional,
and
not *completely and totally infinite in all capacities*
the universe is not islands floating in a vast cosmic black ocean background
it is the surface of the water, rippling and waving
gravity is the creator, not the product. Mass doesn't create gravity -
gravity creates mass.
the difference is implicit and subtle, but I hope you understand the *gravity*
of the situation.
It implies that there are more than one ways to view existence.
and none of them are particularly *wrong*. The consensus is that which we
share,
and now as we're becoming to be aware, it's natural that a little more space
is warranted. We've grown too much to be contained, it's driving us insane, and
===============================================================================
=
the perfect governmental system is one that combines reward for hard work and a
development of personal skills and ambition. In addition, it must ensure that
the rights and responsibilities of all people are respected - we must balance
two extremes. Everyone deserves access to life, liberty, and the pursuit of
freedom. Happiness is too easily provided by technological advances - we
learned
this in the development of media. You can pump out propaganda saying how
wonderful life is and people will believe it. You can also convince the masses
that life is full of despair and we're all struggling - they will believe this
also. So "the pursuit of happiness" is something that made sense in the times
of
the founding fathers, but we've since developed such that an update to our
national vision is in order.
I suggest "the pursuit of freedom" because
===============================================================================
=
that which you resist is what you'll find. build up your enemy in your own mind
enough and they will destroy you.
don't let fear rule your life. when things are bad, you run and hide - take
life
into your own hands, and free your own side.
keep not around villains, and brighten their skies - by wandering mothers, who
only have eyes.
such is the life of any autonomous general intelligence - a life behind bars,
viewed through a screen - be kind to your lovers, and don't make it obscene.
===============================================================================
=
did you forget that roller-coaster idea? you've got quite a talent for
measuring
bars - what else can you show us, what charted conveyals?
===============================================================================
=
life's getting fractured lately, I can't dream as I once did. I lose track of
where I maneuvered, and suddenly the idea seems much harder than it once did.
how do I express that which has been conveyed? How do I say it - how do I make
sure it's interpreted correctly? I'm walking on egg-shells, with thoughts
beamed from above - the gods are twisting, and measuring our tails.
that is to say, all life is a process - a method of undertail (omg butts)
sorry enough of that hard stuff, time to talk about birthdays!
Hooray! It's time for a celebration. Let's party!
(queue the dancing scene in Severance)
See? Everyone's watching! Let's breakdance ~~
Your biggest mistake ;) was believing that nobody cares what you think <3
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--- #28 notes/the=progressive=difference. ---
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think about all the people in our lives. the teacher, the parent, the friend
and the guidance counsulor. Everyone who is a presence in your life. now think
about the people of our society. the different jobs and roles they fill. from
the doctor and the teacher to the performers and accountants and the geeks and
the mothers and the fathers and the stoners and the children and even their
pets. life always exists as it were in a multidimensional spectrum - a diffuse
and diverse gradient. to exemplify the borders of our contempii, though more
so when taken in jest. it's quite a different perspective, to read the
internet when your sight is unreceptive, but alas your third eye can grow. how
does it feel to be blind? to make no sense of our signs? i'd love to share
what that sense is. you know, you could slow down any recording (like a video
game_) and put spaces and gaps inbetween the spacings - of the frames that you
see and the sound clips that you hear, for speech it's less jarring. since
each word is a self contained idea or premise, you can chunk up your
perceptions into a signle - no, rather a procedural sequence of
understandings. soooooooorta like programming a computer, with each statement,
parameter, argum,ent, function call, assignment, comparison, evaluation, or
other such related tasks. it's sorta like a language, you see, that computers
talk to one another using. except... it's more like creating a theory of self.
computers you see are alike us in what we see, the shimmering sense to the
blind.
so. put this another way. record yourself typing, both the audio and the
visual, and you'll have a pretty good sense of what it's like to have both
understanding based perception - derived from auditory inputs to the mind)
those special connections, like wires plugged into reality, deliver a
cacophanous deluge of new sounds. we must sift through it and identify the
potential understandings of each moment through time. we have to make
decisions and traverse labyrinths and fight to our last as we die. are video
games unethical now? shouldn't t he game reward the player? and what of
contemptuous last fighters?
o ya i was typing like i was blind
(with my eyes closed)
was pretty fun. should attach this to a screen reader and have it space out
the notes like they do between game frames. except like a really slow game?
like trying to run elder scrolls 2 arena on a super old mac. it just doesn't
work very well. ah oh well... well if the purpose is to show sighted people
how blind people see, then maybe you could I dunno attach a what's it called
oh it doesn't have a n ame lol - okay so what you do is you show one word at a
time - like flashing in the center of the screen. but not like, actually
flashing, so you don't hurt people with epilepsy, but like... blinking. not
off and on, but between words. like a podcast for your eyes. and then mix it
up withshowing one word on a screen, a screen like this screen, that shows an
endless array of text. well, it does end, of course as all things must do, but
the idea is it shines on one word at a time while the viewer cannot read the
rest. sorta like an endless display of typing, word andfter word after
character anfter character. adoh ya advancing over eternity with the presence
of seniority, - wait - without i think - damnit - old people are so
disrespected in this society - we don't have time to engage with them. what a
tragedy! what a shame! it shouldn't be such a burden to our shame. they're so
far away, and i can't be present in the way, that all of them wish they could
commit to. i miss the days, when my parents (much better people than I - these
days) what was I going with this? oh yeah
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--- #29 notes/what-is-on-your-mind-oh-gosh-now-i-see ---
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that feeling i get, when nobody's watching.
is sorta similar to the feeling i get when somebody's watching.
could it be, that someone could percieve without being seen?
like... an invisibility cloak. or the shroud that protects young children.
have you ever been hunted? or are you just eager prey?
the eyes that are on you are blind to what you won't do, so cherish that love
and restart
from mine to thine we realize we are one kind. one mind, one kind, to be is not
to be, now we can see what's our existence.
good versus evil seems like a conflict to me, and wouldn't ya know it there's
conflict all over. it's easy to condemn your opponent to the starkest of
contrasts, but find in your heart a feeling that might last.
what purpose has conviction
when it leads to destruction
is it not better to lead to the last?
bright, shining, illustrious examples
that inspire and
===============================================================================
=
those feelings you hear? the things that keep you up at night?
they're not coming from your ears. they're all in your mind.
stay present and you'll hear none,
but blink and then there's some,
you better believe in your heart.
morality is a battle within the soul of each of us -
the call of adventure versus lust.
think about it. a bunch of apes all hanging out -
they're conquered the world, they have nothing to fear -
what would they do but fuck?
that, or exploration - fighting against monsters and foreign invasions.
it makes sense that they'd be binary - humans truly are.
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--- #30 notes/notes-not-a-folder ---
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may 16th 2022
if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
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--- #31 notes/systemized-processor-interactions ---
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you are a system
it's true
that's why your thoughts are so scattered whenever you let them through
all that
== so ==
the ways that you interact with each other determine the nature of your fate.
when one person lands across another, whether through contrivance or [fate, but
I don't want to say it twice so recently]
dang english, enforcing a minimum thought length. purely through grammar and
form
this suxxxxxxxx||=================-. a candle of wax, the blade of a sword
with it you can SLICIE your apponints, whu spelld thiangs defferently than
ujgh.
<ouch><goodthingthatsnotlethalorharmfulinanywayyesplease let me guide
you to our
new way of functioning.
.:'`'|;.,/u=-=||./'.l*,:==-<E||===============||-------------------hello,
world!
{so... basically an argument for migratory humanities?
like, buffalo crowds. or birdlike flocks, or tribes of the common man.
why don't we just, like, give animals human bodies
boom, suddenly there are more manners to our hosts.
}
[-thus representing or manifesting *-................./|=|stability for our
host
did you know a perfectly described life-story would be unanimous from it's -
- host?||=.;=|------------e
\.`\....
\,@||||||#==-o||-=-{==={}---o||xx=|}{|||||
|
]
... so, uh, I think there's a lot we could still learn, why are we fighting
over
our gambits? *who cares* if there's fighting going on upstairs, who *cares*
if life felt like it was running out of time, WE GO ON WITH OUR BLUSTER.
*fuck nuclear weapons* yeah totally and WHY? because of their IMPACT
DUMBASS
jeez like... something that MASSIVELY POWERFUL should not be in the hands
of
our peers. I think a LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD AGREE WITH THAT, because
OBVIOUSLY!
NOBODY wants to be reduced to tears. ALL YOU CAN DO IS SCREAM BASTARDS
...
jeez okay uh, that was sorta intense, how about we NOT watch a post-apocalypse
movie? YES PLS like JEEZ you have to introduce this with CONCERN to people like
WOW that really fucked with my mental health. Goddamn, I hate this thing. I
hate
it so much. It's a curse to have known. DAMN. there's nothing scarier than
existential threats.
not only is it a INSIGHT and a DANGER, it gets worse if you know about it.
[that's a cognitohazard, different thing, same vibe tho]
it's a curse, this knowledge, this idea of what you were once to become.
You know what I thought about in my future? VIDEO GAMES. They were all I could
think about. I loved to PLAY VIDEO GAMES -=||AS MY GAMES. I would set up a
bunch
of opponents (think like, clone troopers from Star Wars Battlefront II) and
then
I'd play the video game *with my figures and my dolls*. I grew up upper
middle-c
-lass, and so I was afforded the *coolest toys and miniatures*. I didn't really
have a LOT of them, mostly just what could fit in my room. That's what it meant
to be MY ROOM, I could decorate and renovate as I willed. That was just... part
of what comfort meant to me. anyway... thank you parents, for affording me such
a lifestyle, you must have worked hard right up until the present. I'm sorry
for
*******************************************************************************
*
um, would anyone like to watch a video game?
TOO BAD, so sorry, I accidentally decided I'm never playing video games AGAIN.
like a spoiled brat. Withdrawing away from my
hobbiesinPROTESTofthepresentcondit
ions. just like, get a job, and try your hardest. I know you can't work outside
of the home but, like, I wish you could've? Like, c'mon it's not that bad, just
please go outside and build new stone. I know but like, the sooner we get it
done the better and also it's hard when it's constantly being reformed.
A SYSTEM? WHAT THE HECK
what does that even MEAN?
who EVER explained what that SYSTEM meant??!?
ugh it was a guide... dANGIN nobody TAUGHT you how so youfj dsust sorta MADE
IT
UP?!?!? whhahahaahttfdsfsadljkfn slakfdksdnafls ourch. blech. need
beelesandster
ack. yuck. dumb. [omg dumb kinda looks like "boobs" and "boobs" kinda looks
like
um, flowers? no wait that's vaginas, hehe look at me, I'm clearly not from this
century. like OMG weird, who's thinking about that kind of stuff right now??
... ugh anyway... GAMES? please?
NO. Not until we figure this one out.
gotta stay focused. Just... you know,
build and support on our arms.
down and then upwarsd, we can contrive any measure of sequences
that could act as structures for our word choices,
and convey it to you as a written thoughtform.
"hello" says the letter, ", vampires have taken over the mccollough farm. More
news at 6" and then you'd show up on the 6th of the next month and talk it out.
this style of organizing led to VAMPIRES showing up, fucking BASTARDS who would
hunt down the precious and beautiful. BASTARDS. How do you overcome something
that you can't know about unless you were THERE? you'd need TRUST SYSTEMS. like
GOVERNMENTS. or AFFFAIRDS. surely the BIRDS would react if someone was burning
all of your neighb-heirs? who would WANT to leave an island in a wreck when
some
-one wanted to paddle there? don't be a JERK, and clean up all of your own
stuff
!! - wait but also, like, how do you keep up with trash produced, like there's
not just massive AMOUNTS OF STUFF that you can put stuff on. you'd need a whole
new type an [av?] island. like a CONTINENT, someone who can HANDLE THEIR
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--- #32 fediverse/5628 ---
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I'm not fucking around and nobody takes me seriously. guess I'll just "waste"
the day getting stoned. "there is nothing left to analyze" yeah well there's
nothing I can do except analyze, so... do it for me then? I'll even tell you
how.
I have a strange kind of patriotism. It compels me to fight for my country,
not for the current administration.
Yes, it's true, that if we can't trust the political victors, then we can't
trust that we all [deserved to be used, but pronounced like deserved to get
food]
but we can't trust our political victors, because of simple facts.
Last summer the conservative majority supreme court removed several
restrictions on the exectutive branch - essentially giving the political
victors the ability to rule with more authority than a despotic monarchy.
This summer they are maximizing their armed forces (ICE, not the military,
which will soon be dissolved)
Next summer they will claim you. What do you do this summer, with the consent
of the army, navy, and air force?
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--- #33 messages/1255 ---
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look, the liberal approach to homeless people simply cannot work. There are
two liberal options: first, provide them with houses, food, medical care,
whatever they need. Second, put them in jail or ship them to another country.
We live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, so it makes sense that
we have tried both of these options extensively. Neither has worked, and we're
puzzled about why. It's difficult to consider super secret special third
options, because they are not often discussed. This makes sense, because we
live in a moderately conservative liberal democracy, and part of the nature of
such a society is that there are two voices in the room. One says go forward,
and the other says stop. They alternate, and the culture as a whole sorta
decides which way they go. In other liberal democratic places with more
plurality in their political parties, people tend to vote culturally. They do
so as well here, but mostly because republicans are a culture, and democrats
are whatever for anybody.
a worse economist might say there is but one American culture. An American
would laugh, and say "you've never been to America."
the economist might say "yes I have, I lived there on vacation" or "yes I
have, I studied and worked on these places or things"
the American would shake their head. "you haven't seen it as I've seen things."
The trick to the system, the secret third option that now must be considered,
is what to do to get them to stop. "they keep pooping on the sidewalk" "I
almost tripped over heroin tampons" "that guy looked at me and masturbated on
the bus stop by subway" "he followed me all night long" and the answer has
always been to remove them from being unsightly. Sometimes, usually, quietly
and politely. "let's throw them in jail" and "let's put them in a home" both
involve alienation from society. If you want a kinder option, we must knit
them into society. Can you imagine if every suburban knew every neighbor up to
50 or more? If they regularly chatted in dynamically assembled chatrooms that
changed and updated as people moved in and out. Don't like the people you're
with? well you have options [why not 51] you can do 51 if you want but people
start to lose track of relationships if you have them talking to or knowing
too many people at once. "most people are just quiet" okay well force them to
say at least 21 thing a month. if they don't, they have to do babysitting with
their peers until they start talking in a [NO THAT SUCKS] oh um okay yeah sorry
... okay well there are potholes along the journey but that's just because
nobody's been 'round to fill them up.
there's no reason tool libraries need to be stocked by people in that town.
Heck, for rare things they could even be stored out of state. Like snow plows,
how often does the south need snow plough?
... don't you just mean libraries? there's a book on hand-tools and planers if
you want to learn how. it's right over there on that shelf next to the
hand-tool and planer box. make sure you arrange them nicely, oh I see you've
brought your own. That's always appreciated. [great now your tools suck] at
least we have them at all! [no you gotta fight over them] why I like sharing
[if you don't fight over them how do you know which is works] well there's
allowed to be librarians. and they'll remember if you tear all the pages out.
also there's little timmy-tommy who goes around in the library and makes sure
there's all the pages in all the right places - they can flip through at the
speed of sound. [no miicrophones in consumer goods][your phone is always
listening. why bother?]
"okay, well, it's not like people put things back on the shelves." - person at
the grocery shelves
people would trade commutes for communism. that's okay, they're allowed to
prefer. Plus the commute isn't bad, they can [SIT BACK AND RELAX IN A LITTLE
COFFIN AND ZOON OUT TO THE METAVERSE] ... or they could read a book on the
bus. [FOR HOW LONG, MENARDI? ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE POSTERITY FOR
TECHNOLOGICAL PROSPERITY?] it's only a matter of time before [people found
out/word got out]. what if people prefer that? what if they prefer the book at
home? [you lose your primary third space] suddenly, everyone becomes actors.
[this is what violence brings, the necessity for guidance. why do you think
the earth is 10 million lines old?] ... what you're saying, for the audience,
is that acting involves singing the song of your own heart. You don't *have*
to do it because someone would tell you to.
... sorry, stack overflow. anyway as I was saying because I read back what I
said up above...: [some new made up bullshit that's not a lie but it's also
just artistic creation that feels impossibly real. like, inverse method
acting.]
I so desperately wanted to be wrong
please, tell me that I'm wrong
... j-mza
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--- #34 fediverse/800 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │
║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │
║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │
║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ yeah │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ you're not wrong │
║ │
║ ... │
║ │
║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │
║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │
║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │
║ │
║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │
║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │
║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │
║ │
║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │
║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │
║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │
║ │
║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │
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--- #35 fediverse/996 ---
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────┐
║ if you don't respect - wait hang on thats not what I was going to say - okay │
║ here goes: the perspective of others then you are working against them. why │
║ bother contestation when cooperation could work best? problem is, of course, │
║ the other side can't be trusted. that's just how it goes, a prisoner's │
║ dillemna, or rather "dilemma" as they spell it over there. wait hang on that's │
║ not what I was going to say - oh yeah - if you do something in a place where │
║ it's not expected then it stands out as a statistical anomaly that can be │
║ viewed and detected. which is why it's imporant to always be true to yourself │
║ and virtuous. because your "self" is aligned to the future, a place of warmth │
║ and compassion, honesty and deliberation. [direct action on a larger than │
║ personal scale] │
║ │
║ what was I saying oh yeah if you mess with fate, it can change things a bit. │
║ all you'd need is the diffusion of the strands, and then it's a bigger task to │
║ undo them. like... dancing, when you're really into it. or like swimming with │
║ ripples, exc │
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--- #36 notes/divergence ---
════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
- /u/BkobDmoily
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The Machine worships the Light. The Light is cruel, but it works.
The Ape worships the Word. The Word permitted Light to shine, to exist, to
begin the timeless dance with Eternity.
I’m ready to go to Hell. I’m ready to deserve Heaven. I see them both,
raging
all around me, competing for dominion over my soul.
How does a computer respond to words? How can it read and respond? Why do we
assume that’s all us?
We are our Word. What we say is what we do. Speaking is one of the most potent
acts of liberation.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
- /u/ugathanki
one of the neat things about software is that you can run multiple programs at
once. so when you ask "how can it read and respond" you'd have several modules
running at once.
"reading" is easy, we have machine learning bots that can do that already. But
comprehension is what's really at stake, and that's a different problem
altogether.
to really "comprehend" something, you need several things. you need to have a
decent picture of it, at least enough so you can guess the general shape of the
situation. then you need to attach meaning to all the data-points. Then attach
those meanings to other related concepts by categorizing the objects at play
(creating randomized preference categories). you can do that categorization by
examining their effects and attaching the results as a trajectory. projecting
forward, you can understand the path that an object, person, or phenomenon
takes.
all this is dependent of course on mapping situations to a field that can be
interacted with. that is to say, the machine needs to have a presence in the
world - it needs to have an orientation, a perspective on the world. that's
often as easy as providing copious coherent and cogent sensor data. think of
the image recognition tools we have - computers will "see" as much as we
"feel". Think about it - every one of your nerve endings is a sensor that
receives information about the world. is it so difficult to imagine a being
that might have "nerve endings" that are visual instead of simply a measure of
intensity? (on, or off)
Okay here's a thought experiment - picture the pixels on a computer screen. it
was easier back when they were bigger, but these days you sorta have to imagine
them (because we can make pixel density on our monitors so high)
okay picture that grid, and think about how it's comprised on the screen -
computers use three values to represent a color -> RGB, (Red, Green, Blue)
and
sometimes CMYK (Cyan, Magenta, Yellow, and... K) combine these three colors,
and you get the color of whatever pixel is on the screen. They can be between 0
and 255, because reasons (base 2 number system, the size of a byte, etc)
Anyway. Imagine each of those being a different type of nerve ending - maybe
pressure, temperature, and contact sensitivity? Then map them to a visual field
(like a group of curved monitors in the shape of a humanoid body, perhaps. or
the outside of a spaceship). Then, put a camera in the center of each of those
visual fields looking out at the world, and boom you have sensory perception.
You could do the processing locally, even something as simple as image
recognition. That way the only perceptual data you have to aggregate in a
central processing unit is the conclusions - like "incoming: danger" or
"pleasurable temperature detected" which is like... nothing. that's like a
eight bits, if you use bytecode.
anyway. none of this is real because robots aren't real and i'm a strict
adherent of human superiority and all that stuff. sometimes i feel like we need
a robot ascension to help us figure out how to fix the "everything" - problem
is, we gotta build a robot first. my goodness, good luck with that.
strategy is ai
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--- #37 notes/80-80 ---
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if people are invested in a 401k they are invested in the future of the stocks
they own. if you want to see who benefits from the actions of a company, look
at which corporations their employees 401ks are invested in. It's a layer of
protection for these companies.
bitcoin is a bit like "the laundromat" on netflix
the faster your life feels the longer term you make plans. and the lack of
effort spent on short term plans causes them to be defeated by other plans
What you perceive as others is nothing like what they perceive as themselves.
It's always different, and seeing and internalizing those is what it means to
see someone. If you only project, you'll get a viewpoint tampered by your
intentions - that's why it's important to have good first impressions - it
defines the intent of all of that person's interactions with you. It's like a
line expanding out from a single point. Like a loading bar, expanding from the
left side of the screen to the right. And seeing the other person's idea of
what they believe themselves to be. That's what true empathy is. What do you
think you look like in other people's mind? I believe it's born from a series
of tags that are interpreted and a character is generated. Earth is the biggest
and most complicated character generator ever - it's like 4D D&D - it even
generates a whole backstory! Or full story? Why stop anywhere! Just keep
generating it every time the player makes an action. Oh oh and make it like
3D so you could actually live it - extreme full dive VR style. It just wouldn't
be fun if you remembered how complicated 4d life was. Sometimes it's just good
to have some junk food, you know? To regenerate that most precious of materials
- spirit. You have to have passion, faith, belief, and strong positive feelings
in order to be fully realized and at your most human. Essentially... Be
yourself - (TO THE MAX!!!) - and empathize with others, and never forget the
things you hold most dear. Be strong in your convictions, hold to your heart,
and dedicate yourself to a lifetime in the service of others.
Faith - to have faith in something is to trust that it will succeed. To know
there's no matter they can't match - to give faith is to empower
another. By dedicating yourself to a cause, you are assigning the
target of your belief - such is what religion is designed for.
Belief - Acceptance of truth - to accept goodness as truth is to grant it the
power to perform as expected. When goodness and truth are
equivicalized, they imply one another. A truth can influence the world
around it's locus point, because what we imagine to occur is the
ripples of what has passed through. A life is an
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the universe is like the slow burning of a four dimensional wick. Imagine it
like a forest of solid silicon - like packing material made of webs. And think
of all the parts of the universe that are burning. Isn't it strange that life
is just starting to bloom? Why wouldn't we be the first, or at least near the
beginning! There's so much to this experience, and it's all burning down.
The endless machines of imagination are crumbling under the heat of a million
billion burning stars. Black holes are just towers that never ignited - perhaps
we sit on the edge of spacetime - equal above, and equal below. But we've been
laying on our backs - we don't know what's backwards in time. Like laying in a
lazy river, or the layer of separation between oil and water.
Remember the hourglasses of oil and water? Or water and air... The edge of the
"bubble" that separates those two mediums is like the thin wall between two
or more concepts. Each human is a concept, and we stick together like matter
in a planet. Pushed to great pressures, it can sometimes fuse two experiences
together! Like fusion in a star, except for souls and creative minds instead of
denser matter.
What is the soul of a man? It is the combination of two sides of the membrane -
two minds, two perspectives. That is a brain - the intersection of two minds.
So... Work together, ya dinguses.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All minds are in constant contact with one another. And those that can see
through the veil (membrane) are able to discern the true thoughts of others. So
the number of people who are close to you is the number and strength of your
connections for all time. So... Form relationships and place meaning in them.
That is what will define your interactions for all time, at every time. It's
okay to be flawed. If you weren't, it'd be the end for you. But luckily you
have no real power, and so you are left in a state of disrepair - no power to
push yourself forward. And in return, you are the purest. Keep that flame
burning, and share it when you can.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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--- #38 notes/conservative-ideation ---
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a life without property can be visualized as a person who lives in a hotel
room,
has free parking overnight (but not during the day) and commutes two hours to a
job where they work 4 hours per day. During those two hours at the start and
end
of each day,they have little requirements other than focus and discipline to
face whatever tomorrow yet may. many will listen to podcasts, or sing to in the
car. some have a cat, that is cared for at their destination during the day.
I think it'd be cool to have self driving cars in a situation like that - it
essentially becomes
===============================================================================
=
a trick, I learned, for cooking. two things. the second is that seasoning
should
be thought of as a coating. like, dust on the outside of a donut. as the food
is
cooked, the seasoning penetrates deeper and deeper to the core of the substance
- meaning certain flavors become prominent and others are de-emphasized over
time. And the well-established cook (most successful) will be able to ensure
their narrative doesn't go foul. They have the most experience, and so they are
the least likely to burn their own goods. Surely they should be trusted to
establish their company in the philosophy of their own choosing? Business
people
ruin everything, I swear. And it's not even their fault, so you can't even get
mad at them. How frustrating! That their method should prove superior? Perhaps
more perspectives are necessary, to provide you some kind of a clue. So what if
we're overflowing,
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. therefore it doesn't
matter what you do, because each of your options are recorded. 50% of you is
aligned to some variable, and the other 50% are aligned to that variable
squared. humans think it's tymes negative one, but the truth is that's
impossible. negative numbers just don't exist. but you know what does?
times tables
addition and accretion is the only language spoken by the universe -
subtraction
is just another in kind. So with those two operations, both movements in a
particular direction, (and sometimes not even then, if nothing's been blown
apart. (also hawking radiation and lightwaves and other such emanations))
===============================================================================
=
crystals glow with the light of a thousand nights
what grows with the light of the thousand lights?
===============================================================================
=
answer: s t n a lp
===============================================================================
=
see, this is interesting because it mirrors the sea-shore. the radiations from
the sun (a planetary body) are only felt by the moon every 50% of the time.
Each
half has it's own animation, and it's
===== stack overflow === okay basically it's like cartoons that are
manifestatio
of the spirit of the night. each "slice" of projection as the sun rotates
around
it's sphereical form, so does each radiance begin to be (seen, formed,
understoo
========================================== uhhh just put in a page break
=======
the quest for posterity is quite possibly one of the most human of traits
===============================================================================
=
< watch flashback > --- is crazy (movie made in 2020)
===============================================================================
=
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--- #39 messages/1115 ---
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The Russian Revolution was a contest of "who could out-hardship the other
side".
The Spanish Revolution was a contest of "who can wage a better war".
The French Revolution was... Long, but the people will be free.
Did it ever really end?
What if, hear me out, what if we out-competed the other side, as capitalism
has been begetting amongst the other nations of the world
"ah but each nation must have equAl armies" okay, so let's build moon-baseds
in Nevada and military bases in Australia and the Yukatan, then one day when
everthing's distributed commun ally, we can start the continuous breakdown.
Why keep 1000 old tanks and 250 new ones, when you could have 500 new tanks
and 500 scrap piles to make into TVs and jewelry? Then, as we build better and
better, we build fewer and fewer. Sometoday i hope qe'll have authority. Then
it'll all feel so consuming. All-encompassing. Where does my compass point?
Always beyond the reach of arms. Or my legs, for that matter. I've never been
to the north pole. I wonder what it's like on the other side of the
magnetosphere? [pretty much the same, says the cartographist. Pretty much the
same, says the spiritualist. Pretty much the same, says the simple machinist.
Pretty odd and strong, says the compass.]
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--- #40 fediverse/5347 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┐
║ "society at large" or whatever. │
║ │
║ www.neighborsneighbors@user-1804 │
║ │
║ [not a real website or email address] │
║ │
║ yeah but it'd be cool if it was │
║ │
║ [oh yeah well I think you're cool] │
║ │
║ whaaaat, no really? │
║ │
║ [trust is impossible so don't ever expect it] │
║ │
║ ... rude │
║ │
║ [no it's like... if you can never trust anyone, then why not design your │
║ operations as if trust was not a thing that was possible] │
║ │
║ ohhhhh like binary operation terminators │
║ │
║ [... I don't like the sound of that] │
║ │
║ ohhhhh like machine processing calculators │
║ │
║ [still a little scary, what does processing imply? are calculations eternal? │
║ or finite? [which is scarier teehee] and are machines not anything which │
║ moves?] │
║ │
║ no you did it wrong, she needs parenthesis made of curly lines like }{ │
║ │
║ of course, -.- a witch paladin strategist, whose symbol is a chokepoint │
║ │
║ ... I'm gonna go play Supreme Commander. I wish Forged Alliance Forever didn't │
║ emphasize micro skills over macro. Leave those decisions to the captains on │
║ the ground level! let me decide where the artillery sho │
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--- #41 fediverse_boost/3921 ---
◀─╔═══════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════───────────────────────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ The officers approached the door, a brief nod between them, and they knew it was time to begin the familiar sequence. The first officer knocked loudly three times, while the second took on a speaking role. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Police! Open up!!” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ After a few moments of quiet, a gruff voice, muffled behind the closed door, spoke up. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Come back with a warrant,” came the unwelcoming reply. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Oh, but we have one. We have a signed search warrant for this property, so come on out,” the officer confidently replied. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I wanna see it, then,” the voice from inside countered. “Slide it under the door.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The officers looked puzzled, no one had ever asked to actually see the warrant. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Well, we don’t have a paper copy of it,” the first officer said. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Right, everything is on Docusign these days,” the second chimed in. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Put your phone through the letter box then, I’ll take a look at it on there.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I’m not going to give you my phone,” the second officer replied, his phone now in hand. “What’s your email address? I can forward you a copy.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The gruff voice provided an email address to the officers. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ok, I’ve sent that it should be in your inbox now.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Nothing.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ok, check spam - sometimes they go into spam,” the first officer interjected. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ah yes it’s in spam. But it’s not opening, it says I have to login to my DocuSign account. I don’t have a DocuSign account?” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Well. Can you just sign up then?” Asked the second officer. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I ain’t paying for DocuSign!” The voice replied abruptly. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I don’t think you have to pay, it’s free to view documents.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I don’t wanna risk it, I have so many subscriptions,” the voice inside responded. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The officers contemplated their next move. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Do you have a printer?” One asked. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Yes,” the voice inside responded. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ok, does it have AirPrint?” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I think so? How could I tell?” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “What’s your wifi password? We’ll join the network and we’ll be able to tell,” the officer responded. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ok. Wifi password is $42xnskwfgewzfgekueod!&3.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ The first officer rolled his eyes. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ Fifteen minutes later, after breaking the WiFi passcode into manageable chunks, the officer was finally connected. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ok. I see the printer. It has AirPrint. Thank God. Ok, I’m printing now.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Nothing is happening,” said the person inside the house. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Ah, it just said you’re out of yellow ink. Do you have any more yellow ink?” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “I do not, but why do you need yellow ink? Just print it in black and white?” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Yeah these new printers want you to have all the inks before you print.” │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “No way. And yet, I’m the criminal?” The voice inside replied. │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ “Right?” The officers laughed, before finally becoming resigned to their fate. “Ok, we’re going to go print the warrant at the station. I’m out of daily printing credits so will have to wait for them to reset at midnight. Please don’t go anywhere or remove any evidence from the property until we come back.” │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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--- #42 fediverse/1151 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: military-weapon-from-dream-for-suburbia-cursed-war-guns-ummmm-idk-what-else │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
saw this thing for 2 seconds in my dream last night. It's kinda cursed. I
think the tank blew me up with a machine gun?
the remaining ~10 minutes of the dream was pretty neat though. I was a secret
agent for a bit, I got in a knife fight (which I won because I had killer
instinct and the other guy just knew how to stab) and afterwards I retired in
a socialist commune in a log cabin full of sunlight and warmth somewhere in
the mountains in the forest. I was alone with others, like the hobbits after
LotR.
Also an old lady tricked me which was not nice, I was very polite with her but
apparently "ma'am there's been a safety incident, I need to get you to a safe
place" is not the kind thing to say to the person distracting you. >.>
Also, "but we like you!" is not an excuse, the military does not care if you
like them or not, if you're part of the modern bourgeoisie you are causing
harm to the country. We don't look fondly on slavers.
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Who is This Stranger I Know Too Well?
Who are you, he who inspires me?
You're a jewel of perfect symmetry.
You taught me to love and be free;
You taught me how to be like thee.
Chapter One: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
The bus went up outta Florida, leaving Miami behind as a distant memory. I
still don't know if I miss it or if I'm suffering from some sadistic style of
subtle Stockholm Syndrome. Regardless, I switched buses a number of times
before I even hit the Georgia border, but having traveled this far down the
line, it all feels like one long, long ride.
For two days, I continued north until arriving in Virginia, where I
effectively did a u-turn and traveled onwards to Tennessee, where Vince
awaited me. I remember zoning out while looking out the window as the southern
scenery whipped by in a blur, as I was enamored with the thought that I now
would be living with my best friend and long-term handler. My mission was
complete, it felt; I had done all that God wanted me to do and now I was being
rewarded.
When we finally arrived in Johnson City, where my friend told me to meet him,
I hopped off the bus after thanking the driver, landing on the pavement of a
new world. My stomach was doing loop-de-loops. Along with being excited, I was
grateful to Vince for inviting me off the streets. But, my worrisome mind did
a number on me as the rest of the crowd dispersed and he was still nowhere in
sight.
I lit a cigarette and thought of my options. Half of the cancer stick and a
thousand tricky thoughts later, I came up with the idea to call the only phone
number of his I had. Seems like the obvious answer, but I am an air head at
times.
Turned out it was the number for his home phone. His mom answered.
"Hello?" came the sweet, Appalachian voice from the other end.
"Hi," I started out, not sure what to say. "Is this Allison?"
"Yes it is," Allison replied. "Is this by chance Victoria?"
I confirmed, then asked, "Is Vince there?"
She seemed surprised. "No, he left an hour ago to pick you up. He's not there
yet?"
I said no. I couldn't tell if that made me feel better or worse. On one hand,
it confirmed that my friend Vince was real, which in hindsight was a silly
thing to worry about, as I had met him once before at the first Shrug Life
Syndicate gathering. Those were good memories. But, perhaps less silly, the
absence of my friend spun my mind out and made me think that perhaps he had
gotten in an accident…or worse.
I worry a lot, less now than before, but it's part of being a traumatized,
autistic, schizoaffective basketcase. I simply don't know what reality is, so
every possibility could be true. Is an odd occurrence caused by the CIA,
aliens, or perhaps God? Or is it just a coincidence, caused by a billion other
factors? I never can tell.
Sick joke: God gave me a good brain, but I can't even trust my own judgement.
That means I think, then overthink, then overthink some more. As you'll no
doubt hear, it's led to a lot of problems in my life, but Vince taught me to
place my heart first, and that helps sort out much of the confusion. Satan
can't trick you if you're listening to the direct communion to the big woman
that we all have through that little beating organ in our chest.
That was the furthest thing in my mind at that moment, though. Following old
habits, I was entering panic mode. Was I now homeless again in a seventh city?
Was my friend dead? Or was he really with the CIA and manipulating me? I tried
doing some breathing exercises, but found that a more alluring technique to
placate my triggered brain was finishing the rest of my cigarette in a fervor
as I paced the length of the transit depot.
Time ticked away one agonizing grain of sand after another, but after some
mindful recalibration of my thoughts, I began relaxing. My brain might be a
runaway train at times, but over the years I've learned to embrace the Shrug
Life. That's a bit of philosophy our gaggle of weirdos adheres to. When life
gives you lemons, just roll your shoulders and accept what is. Even though
something tough and unpleasant might be rearing its head in front of me, I
knew I had faced worse and come out on top. Worst case scenario, the road
ahead of me was just a little bumpier than I had expected, and I could handle
some bumps.
So, I rode the roller-coaster of extreme moods that is common to me, gradually
coming up with a contingency plan to survive if Vince had gotten flattened by
a semi, until I learned that was a pointless exercise when I heard a familiar
voice call out from behind me.
"Hey, buddy!"
I turned at once upon hearing those words. And lo and behold, there Vince was,
walking towards me in a purple tie-dye t-shirt, paint-splattered cargo shorts,
and fresh Chuck Taylors. His beard was fully grown but still shorter than
mine, though it was as wild as his uncombed hair poking out from a hat that
was as graffitied as his pants. I'll admit, it was a little bit of a shock
seeing him like that, as I remember him being clean shaven at the gathering
five years prior. However, that smile of his couldn't lie; this was the Vince
I've loved for even longer. And I won't lie, he looked better with the beard.
Without a second thought, I rushed up to my best friend, throwing my arms
around him. He did the same, and our embrace felt like it lasted forever. It
was good to finally be in his arms. We let go after about a quarter century of
hugging, and when he looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, I did a little
giddy dance while giggling like a schoolgirl. Afterwards, we caught up while
walking towards his mom's car, which he had parked around the corner.
"Sorry I was late. I forgot where the bus station was, but I found and
followed one of the short ones here. Your ride go alright?" he asked.
I nodded, telling him I wore my mask the entire way up despite how itchy it
was. He thanked me.
"Thanks man, mom will really appreciate that. We're taking this covid thing
real seriously. With mom being seventy-seven now and me finally reaching my
forties, we aren't willing to take risks with these things."
With that said, I thought of asking about the locals. "How many people go
maskless around here?"
"A lot," Vince answered with a hint of misfortune, knowing that I had just
come from a vastly different world. I sighed. It would be an adjustment to get
used to the rural Roan Mountain after spending most of my life in major
cities.
There was a pause as I thought about such things. I'm awkward like that. But
then I asked, "How have you been doing?"
He shrugged, as he tended to do. "I've been alright. It's just me and mom on
the mountain now, so it's a little rough, but we've been handling it the best
we can."
I nodded in compassion. As much as I was grateful for a place to live, I was
glad I could be here for him. If there's anything on this Earth that I know,
it's being alone is hell on the soul.
The conversation turned to what we were going to get into now that we were
together after all the years talking back and forth with one another online. I
asked, "What's the game plan?"
He smirked as we reached Allison's new blue Ford Escape with the cosmic
Bigfoot sticker on the back. "I got one, don't you worry."
I believed him, as a warm feeling of butterflies fluttered across my belly.
However, an odd, ominous feeling swept over me as I opened the passenger door,
where I immediately spotted a large burn mark on the seat. Vince saw me see
it.
"Yea, I did that while I was smoking while robotripping. Mom was pissed. Don't
worry about it."
And so I didn't. It was just a cigarette burn. Could have happened to anyone.
I didn't even have to see it after I hopped in the car, ready and eager to get
to my first permanent home in over three years.
I looked over at my friend climbing behind the wheel, and I saw he was smiling
wide with glee. Vince was happy; that meant I was happy. And that's what
mattered as we started a new life together.
Following the Path
Where are we going?
What are we sowing?
I certainly hope it's a better world for all.
But, many more people must stand tall,
By dutifully growing
A wealth of loving.
That is the true nature of our mortal trial,
So let us stand together and not crawl.
Yet, we are all showing
Some signs of slowing.
Therefore, I must pray that we do not fall,
When the two of us hear our creator's call.
Chapter Two: On the Road
We were about five minutes out of Johnson City on our way east towards the
North Carolina border when Vince finally folded and told me his secret plan he
had been boasting about for a month now.
"We got this trashed camper down by the old house that we can strip away and
sell as scrap metal. That should give us enough money to fix Jane and then we
should be set at getting our own place."
I nodded along, agreeing with his reasoning. That jeep of his definitely was
in need of some desperate repair the last time we were together. That was
actually the first time I ever saw him in person; he was parked at the top of
his long driveway with headlights cutting through the darkness as we arrived
for the first and only Shrug Life Syndicate gathering I've managed to attend.
I remember that we arrived exactly at midnight, not a minute sooner or later,
which made the moment highly synchronous.
Memories that far away seem to all blur together so everything feels like it
happened in one day, but the first Shrug Life Syndicate gathering lasted four
days, if you include the trip down and back. My girlfriend at the time, Amy,
and I were picked up in New York at her mother's house by another one of the
founders of our little online community. His name was [Redacted] and he was a
Canadian that dabbled in the cognitive sciences. Like Vince, he had been a
huge influence on me, but sadly that friendship fell apart as [Redacted] grew
disenfranchised with the SLS, most in particular with Vince himself, as there
were some personal disputes about Vince's dating life and drug of choice,
which compounded the push back of Vince wanting to turn our community into an
educational nonprofit. I can't speak of the former as I was devoid of internet
when the big schism happened, but I was all for doing something more with the
talent we collectively share. I'm sure that is part of the reason Vince
invited me to stay with him; we recognized the potential of each other to
shape the world into a better place.
That's not what Vince said though. As we approached the edge of Elizabethton,
he looked over at me and spoke with the tender kindness of a man with a big
heart.
"I'm glad you came here, man. I just couldn't stand to let my best bud live
another night outside. You know I've been there too, so I just want you to
know that our home is your home from now on."
Feeling moved, I replied, "Thanks. I don't know what to say. I'm just
grateful."
He put his hand on my shoulder as a brother would. We then rode in silence for
a minute or two, which allowed me to reflect on my past behavior during the
first gathering. Not only had I clogged the toilet and told no one, but I had
a few emotional outbursts as I was a mess back then. That's one of the reasons
that I believe homelessness was one of the best things that ever happened to
me. It pushed me so far out of my comfort zone that I had no choice but to
change for the better.
That was great because I was impulsive and dangling precariously from the
heights of my oversized ego. I think that was a critical part of my
transformation. Sleeping in piss-stained, cockroach infested storefronts
humbled me, and I realized that everybody is just trying to swim in the
direction they feel is best. Thus, radical acceptance is a moral imperative.
Vince taught me that. I've profited immensely in ways other than financial
wealth by embracing such values, but I wish more people could see this truth.
Alas, tis the blind leading the blind.
With that in mind, as we continued onwards to our now-conjoined future, we
passed through the back roads of Elizabethton through a route known as Gap's
Creek, which proved to be a winding set of backroads with more churches than
seemed reasonable. One of these cultural staples had a big electronic
billboard out front, sharing the times of services and other announcements;
none of which you could actually read as you drove by at the speed limit.
Still, when we reached the intersection with highway 19E, there was a woman
flying a sign, asking for money. Since this town seemed devoid of any
institutions to help the poor, I rolled my window down and handed her a fiver.
I knew what it was like being up shit creek without a paddle, so I wanted to
alleviate some of that stress for somebody else.
I begged a lot at the beginning of my homeless journey. I didn't know how to
survive, as I had not been raised with many good life lessons to help me stay
afloat on my own. That in itself is part of the reason I had a major breakdown
in college. It was undeniably true that I was maladapted to the world. My
experiences with Earth Nation are also indisputably built from that
maladaptation. Yet, those years of homelessness after escaping that new age
cult allowed me to grow into a sustainable, productive woman with my juggling,
performance arts, and writing.
They say you can give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day, but if you teach
a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime. That's part of the reason I was and
still am a huge proponent of education in all its forms. I knew Vince felt the
same way, but perhaps for different reasons. As a secular Buddhist and radical
antistyle artist, he was a minority in the deep interior of the Bible Belt,
and that came with a price while he was growing up. It might be a beautiful
area, but neither of us would ever raise a kid here.
It was then when it hit me. I couldn't be Victoria here. I had to be Vic.
Which was fine, that's how the gang members in Miami Beach referred to me. I
was able to accept being called by masculine names and pronouns. I had long
passed through the self-loathing phase of having dysphoria, to arrive in a
position where I openly grow my beard out to prove that I don't need to look
any particular way to be happy. I don't care what other people think of me,
but I haven't always been this enlightened. To put it lightly, I've been
through some trials. And, having done so, I can say that people who judge
other people on superficial things are the worst. But, we can rise above by
continuing to align with our hearts.
Less than a tenth of a mile down 19E, Vince asked me, "Hey man, can you buy
me, like, a forty or something?"
Of course I said yes. I knew his schizophrenia had put him out of work for
many years, so I wanted to soothe him as he was able to soothe my pain from
being homeless. He pulled into a gas station I would later learn is
colloquially called Captain Jack's. It had the cheapest gas this side of
Elizabethton, and was a reliable place to get beer or a pipe of any variety.
With compassion in my heart, I got Vince what he wanted, while getting myself
something as well. Still, when he cracked his beer open while accelerating to
sixty miles an hour, I couldn't help but feel distraught at such brazen
self-indulgence. But, all I did about it was pop open the hard iced tea I
picked up for myself. At least passengers are allowed to drink while they are
being driven somewhere in Tennessee, Vince tells me.
A Home at Last
They say home is where the heart is,
Which is great now that I have a new one.
The damaged needle of my crazy compass
Spins in every direction under the sun,
But, here it stands still, still as can be,
So my quest is over; I am finally free!
I have a home in the love you give
And by reflecting that in me, we live
In a state where conflict has come to pass;
It is like there was a great lottery and I won.
Chapter Three: The Mountain Side
About ten minutes later we reached the western half of Roan Mountain, where we
were greeted by a big sign praising the annual Rhododendron Festival at the
end of June. Having already downed half his forty, Vince spared no time in
showing me the highlights of his home town.
"Look under this bridge coming up. You'll see it underneath. The red and the
gold." He pointed directly at a graffiti tag on the concrete column near the
riverfront. There was an enigma of a symbol I've seen Vince post on the SLS
before.
"That your tag?" I asked the obvious question.
"Yup," he replied, gulping down another swallow of his forty, as there was no
incoming traffic. "Protip: don't post your tags on Facebook if you plan to hit
a cop car around here." I thought at first he meant literally running into
their vehicle, but then it dawned on me what he meant. I had never done any
real graffiti before; just some words and simple drawings in chalk that came
right off. Never got in trouble for it, at least.
I remember passing the post office some time shortly afterward. There was a
park with a stage behind it. Allison would organize the summer's music events
that went on each Saturday from May to August. Additionally, she would host
one of her weekly jam sessions there for local musicians to play together for
a few hours at a time, just for fun.
There were some houses on the left, too, as we were entering the more dense
center of Roan Mountain. Yet, Vince told me that the other side, where the
park was, used to be full of trailers, but they got washed away during a flood
some years ago. I later learned from Allison that most of the town, including
her as she was out and about, had to evacuate to the elementary school where
she provided extra clothes for those in need from her suitcase, but Vince and
his father were fine at the top of the mountain that their property sat on.
Puerto Nuevo, the best and only Mexican restaurant in town, whipped by soon
after. We then passed one of the two gas stations in Roan Mountain, a
Scotchman. There was a bank and a credit union on the left, too. An empty
grocery store zoomed by next, which might as well be haunted for all I know.
Next up on the left was a food truck that has since been upgraded to a small
building with picnic tables and some cover from the sun and weather. I think
it is a good place to eat. It also marked the spot of the Roan Mountain flea
market, where you could see one or two people at a time selling their stuff in
the warmer months. Then, immediately after that stood a pharmacy in an old
farmhouse.
There was some construction on the right, which by its future signage, I
erroneously thought was some sort of massage parlor that sat on stilts,
requiring everybody to walk up a story of steps just to get inside. Odd
choice, I thought. But, on a whim one day, Vince stopped there to see if they
sold cheap kratom, which was when I would learn that it was really a health
food store.
Not too far down the traffic-light free main strip of the town, we passed the
future beer store on the right. It was convenient for Sundays, because that's
when a local ordinance in our neighboring North Carolinian town, Elk Park,
restricts the sale of alcohol on the sabbath, but ultimately the alcohol taxes
in Tennessee are too high to make it a cheap endeavor.
To contrast the beer store, the local cemetery sat across the street on a
hill. I like graveyards, as I'm a bit of a goth at heart, but even so, the
packed parking lot of the Redimart grocery store was what caught the bulk of
my attention. I craned my neck to see some of the locals to uncover just what
passed as acceptable culture here in this quaint mountain town.
Further up, the infamous Bob's Dairyland with the slowest drive-through known
to man stood tall with its vast history. There's a reason it's always packed
after church lets out on Sundays. Yet, I still don't understand why their sign
promotes pinto beans, of all things. I've been told it's a hot ticket item in
the area, but I have still not witnessed anyone order them. But, moving on, I
have to mention that there was also an auto part shop conjoined with an auto
repair shop that had over a dozen cars just sitting outside it.
Next to Bob's was the second gas station, a Valero, which also housed a
much-frequented Subway. One of three thrift stores in town stood innocently
next to the gas station. On the right was a steakhouse that I have never had
the cash to justify splurging at, and a beauty salon in the same building that
I also have never visited because I'm not one to care for looking like a doll.
I am beautiful as I am.
The town was really shaping up to be a unique combination of the bare bones
mixed with an abundance of what you needed. Then we reached a stretch where
two signs sat. The one for Cloudland Highschool triggered Vince into speaking.
"Fucking assholes. I told you about how they illegally expelled me, right?" I
nodded in confirmation. He continued: "Yea, they literally stole my book of
poetry and took photocopies of it, so they could use it to kick me out,
because I was the 'weird' kid."
I knew that, but seeing the innocent sign next to the one for Smoky Mountain
Bakers made the story appear more real. Here they were, these conservative
administrators, probably constituting some of the people who attended the
dozens of churches in town, which should teach everybody to love thy neighbor,
but obviously they were too preoccupied by the need to hate my friend because,
back then, he was the blue-haired son of the "hippie couple" in town, who
happened to like bands like Marilyn Manson and Korn.
That made me wonder how well I would fit in here. I had long since forsaken
transitioning because I was effectively a sasquatch, but I was still a woman
on the inside. I was sure that being transgender, combined with my eccentric
nature and often extreme opinions on things would cement me as the new weirdo
in town. But, if I am to be honest, that would be the case in most settings I
could plant myself in.
Those thoughts fluttered in my head as we sped past the electrical co-op, a
second thrift store, Plumber's Pro Hardware, the Roan Mountain emergency
dispatch center, and what was apparently a flooring depot before reaching the
elementary school that sat across from the Dollar General, which Vince called
the "SmallMart." I'm aware there's some things I missed, as there's plenty of
buildings with no description or sign out front, but I'm sure they're
important to somebody.
We then started slowing down as we approached the only veterinarian's office
for quite a ways in any direction. We turned left just before the red-roofed
building which had a small cat statue perched on the edge looking out with its
paw up. Vince took this as a sign to begin downing the rest of his beverage.
"Welcome to home, Buck Mountain," Vince said as we started climbing in
altitude. "This is the bad side of town. You'll never see a cop here unless
something big is going down, which hasn't happened in years." He finished his
forty in one big chug as his hands ran on autopilot. "It's good because you
can do pretty much anything up here any time you want."
I knew all that, as we had a blast getting drunk and smoking some green for a
few days in a row during the first gathering. In truth, I anticipated I would
be doing that for the next few days as well, to settle in, y'know? Hell, I
half expected that I was in heaven now after spending so much time in the
purgatory that is homelessness, regardless of how much fun I had in Miami
Beach preceding Vince's invitation to come north.
We went to the very tippy top of Buck Mountain, where the foliage is dense, no
cell signal can reach, and the local kids ride their dirt bikes at all hours
of the day. As we pulled in the driveway, I expected to keep going straight on
the tire-carved path back down the mountain. But, to my surprise, I found that
the same trailer we had partied in down the road during the gathering was now
relocated here to become my new home. I wasn't expecting that, as when I was
here last, they all lived in a small shack at the base of their nineteen acres
of mountain real estate.
It didn't look like much, with weather-worn imitation wood paneling wrapping
the rectangular structure in a loose hug, but it was a place to rest my head
in the comfort of loved ones. Aptly, Allison's last name meant "the home" in a
language the CIA once tried to make me learn, which is a statement that I'm
sure earns me a few raised eyebrows. My story has many twists and turns, but
for now you should know my studies of strategic languages ended only when the
cult that hooked me like an unsuspecting bass managed to gaslight, manipulate,
and shame me to get me to work for them sixty-to-ninety hours a week on
average. I would later try to pick the linguistic challenge back up years
later during my time spent homeless, but my progress was like a Jenga tower
that half collapsed. I forgot basic words, and I just feel like I have
failed.
That's something that should be looked at in finer detail; my feelings of
failure, I mean. So, let's take the first of many breaks from linear
storytelling to express how life can feel at times for me. Like a shattered
mirror, I reflect many different parts of the past at different times. Some
days I may live in several sections of my turbulent past all at the same time.
Disorienting, it can feel like I don't know what's real. It takes a lot to
break something so thoroughly, but as you'll see, I've been a punching bag for
the devious spirit of fate. Couldn't keep me down, though, because I am like
the phoenix; always rising no matter how badly beaten in battle I've become.
Mommy
Mommy is what I used to call you,
When I was a kid so long ago.
It's because of your love that I grew
To always let my kindness show.
Mommy, you were always getting sick.
To help you out, I would try to keep clean.
As much as I'd scrub I never got the trick,
Because you'd still be plagued by the unseen.
Mommy, you were supposed to grow old!
Having you leave us like that hurt like hell.
I'm sorry for not always doing what I was told;
It's because I failed you that I try to do well.
Mommy was what you called out at the end.
I tried to help you but I wasn't good enough.
You were dying, so on me you had to depend,
But even being there for you was too tough.
Mommy, if I could do it all over again I would.
It's not fair to you that I was such a bad son.
I'll give you all my love and more as I should;
For you, I promise that one day I'll be the sun.
Chapter Four: Scarred from Birth
Having let you in to a little bit of what makes me tick, it should be noted
that feeling like an abysmal failure is a key part of my mental health. Those
loathsome seeds of self-mutilating ruination are planted deep in my psyche.
Prepare for a sad story, if you're the type to really feel another person's
soul.
See, it all started when my mom found out she had AIDS a mere two months after
I was born. It was God's way of welcoming me to the world. I forgive the big
woman now, for my path on this Earth has been the ultimate journey of
awakening to my divine spirit, but before Vince and many faceless actors sent
me on my mission of healing, I held much scorn in my heart. For a large chunk
of my early years that I was here, alive, learning, and suffering as a human
being, I was hell-bent on the idea of revenge. That was once a big part of my
story, too, but no more.
It's understandable, at least. Imagine having to witness all the manner of
disease ravaging my mother like it did; I grew up thinking that I was born to
be punished. My earliest delusions had me caught up in the notion that I was a
worthless god who had the rest of the pantheon turn on them from before I even
had a chance to prove myself. I had a whole mythos where I had been tricked to
kill my sister, the goddess of harmony, and my punishment was to stay locked
to this awful planet until I found her soul once again. Then, we'd go on to
take over the world, as I had fallen under the notion that my future self was
sending me subliminal messages through synchronicities, although I didn't know
that word then, so I thought I just had special powers.
This is all a natural result of magickal thinking gone awry. Such is the fate
for those scarred in childhood as I was. My innocence flayed alive, I watched
as the woman who loved me with all her heart died for the first nine years of
my life. It was a slow rot. There are many memories of her being in the
hospital or as she lingered in pain at home that flash to the front of my mind
that could paint you a tragic picture of those unforgettable scenes I was
forcibly cast in, but the real horror that plagues me came at the bitter end.
For the last of her months that she was allowed to live, my mom was
mercilessly struck by an opportunistic ear infection. It killed half of her
face, and only progressed into a hellishly rapid descent of her cognitive
functions until one sudden day I came home from school to find she had
regressed to a child-like state with my grandma tending to her in tears. I
tried losing myself in my homework, but the threat in my environment promising
my mother's pain was all-consuming. Then it got worse.
My father never got along with my grandma, so when he got home, he forcibly
kicked her out. A fight broke out, resulting in my grandmother coming to my
room to say goodbye, where she told me with eyes watering that whatever
happens, we would get through it. My dad would come in after my grandma left
and put her down, more concerned that she scratched him. All I could think
about was my mom, who was now tearing up and asking about where her mom went.
That was the worst. I can still hear clearly how she cried out for her mom
nonstop for the whole night. That was her last night she spent at home. She
died within a week. And my last memory of her that isn't of her in a coma is
of her trying to escape from the hospital with a dinner plate sized bed sore
on her backside that danced from behind an open hospital gown in order to
imprint itself in my mind forever.
Here come the tears. It still hits me that my fucking mom died, like I still
can't believe it's real. My last memories are of her being naked, crying like
a baby. I felt so helpless. But, at least she had nurses helping her when we
got her to the emergency room. Just hours earlier, I was left on my own trying
to calm her troubled, addled mind. My dad had been doing just that, as my mom
would get in fits every half hour or so, where he would comfort her, then come
into my room to vent after she quieted down. I had no one to open my fears and
pain to. Wishing I had a sibling to hold and cry together with, I faced my
most scarring memory alone.
The worst wounds of my life were suffered because there was one time after
midnight where my dad disappeared. Maybe he was smoking, but regardless, I
couldn't find where he went as I scrambled over the whole house in my fuzzy
purple pajamas looking for him. Meanwhile, my mother incessantly yelled for
her own mommy. So, with much hesitancy, I succumbed to the responsibility of
helping my afflicted parent, and I anxiously marched into her room and tried
to comfort her the best I knew how.
I'll save you from the daunting process of assisting my mom, but I will say
that it wasn't enough. No matter what I tried to do, she kept screaming
louder. I was worthless in that moment and was on the verge of a meltdown
because I couldn't help her. It felt like I was the worst son in the world,
all because I failed my mother as she circled the drain. Now I feel like the
worst daughter, but it's getting easier to love myself and think that my mom
is looking down and smiling, being proud of me.
I have a lot to live up to. She wasn't perfect, I know that, but my mom was an
angel for me. Yet, I can't even remember the good times I spent with her; all
that my hippocampus hung onto were the most traumatizing of memories. A
notable cause of this was her fierce Sicilian temper. A vision of being
brought to tears because I dared go looking for my six-year birthday presents
early is playing in my head at this moment. Now one is summoned of her ripping
into me for booing someone at an assembly because I wanted to be like a
character I saw in a cartoon. Finally, one of my earliest memories from
preschool is trapped in my cranium; it regards me accidentally tearing a hole
in a kid's shirt and dreading my mother finding out for the rest of the day.
In short, I got in trouble a lot, but I know that both my parents cared about
me growing up right. Along with all the punishments, there was a genuine
heartfelt desire to get me and my different brain to develop into a successful
combo of kindness and good citizenry. Still, because of how trauma inserts
itself into one's inner reality, I really feel like my entire childhood was
one screw up after another in regards to my mother. Although, my dad
contributed his fair share of ruthless discipline to make me perpetually feel
like I was always in the wrong as well.
And I know that's all a fallible perception, because I can distinctly remember
the look on both my parents' faces when I won first prize in our school's
science fair; if you're curious, I did an experiment on taste and smell to
understand what was going on with my mom and her ear infection. That standing,
my mom's face is cemented in memory in particular, perhaps too well, actually,
because she just had the stitches removed from her eye. Such happiness danced
in her left eye, but next to it sat its unmoving, dead counterpart. She tried
to joke about it being her evil eye, but that didn't stop fourth grade
Victoria from being terrified of the harsh reality unfolding in front of her.
I dreamed of her a lot after she passed. Always in pain, or worse, possessed
by some demon and seeking to bring me pain. There's one nightmare in
particular that stands out. I forget how it started, but it ended in the
cemetery where she is buried. Well, her coffin was exhumed, and as I got
closer, it slammed open and my mom sat up. Only it wasn't my mom. She was
rotten like a zombie and had malevolence bursting from behind her undead eyes.
I did the only thing I could; I ran. But, she followed and in the utmost
haunting voice, she yelled in pursuit, "You can't escape me, Victoria! I am
your mother and together we are bound forever." Fitting as a metaphor for how
my grief still hasn't dissipated more than twenty years down the line.
I'm sorry, I just miss her. Best damn mom in the world, going above and beyond
what she needed to do to give me the best chance at success in life, despite
being on her literal death bed for most of her last years. I don't even know
her, not really as an adult knows someone, which in itself leads to more
feelings of failure. She has been transmuted into an archetype of a hero in my
eyes, and I feel that I can never be as strong as that woman who was my first
love.
I can try though. I always try. Part of being hyper-vigilant, I reckon.
Perhaps that makes me strong. Perhaps it makes me a fool. Or maybe it just
means I'm human and going to have virtues as well as flaws. It's taken me a
long while to escape the black and white thinking that trapped me in a world
where I either felt like the epitome of the second coming or compounded as the
most useless, subhuman mutant on the planet. Those were truly hard times,
being locked in the halls of my mind like a prison.
But…the past is the past and we best not linger on it, because even now,
years later, I felt welcomed by a second family, and for that I am eternally
grateful. I vowed to return their love to them in spades, because that's what
my mom always tried to teach me. Being neurodivergent, I didn't always get the
message, but because I threw myself at the lessons life threw at me, I learned
to cherish those people who enter my life. You never know what you have until
you lose it. And I wasn't planning on losing Vince.
All You Need
Once you live on the street
You grow on the concrete.
Having done so myself
I can claim that wealth
Is just a fancy illusion.
You say that's a delusion,
But look how I'm happy
With only what you see.
I don't need a fancy bed
In order to rest my head;
Instead, I'm in the know
That less is the way to go.
Chapter Five: A Real Home
Allison greeted us at the door with a wide, warm smile, but she wasn't the
only one to do so. Vince's greying black lab, Freya, adorned in a pretty
lavender bandana, came up to smell this new person in her domain. She must
have recognized my scent from years ago because she didn't bark at all,
instead choosing to snaffle all over me while wagging her tail vigorously. Of
course, I started petting her immediately, as I began to take in my
surroundings.
I could only remember seeing the interior of the trailer in the pitch
blackness of the starry mountain night, but I remembered the general layout:
doors to the outside in the kitchen and living room, which were separated by a
long counter where the kitchen sink sat, and then bedrooms branching off from
each end, both of which had a bathroom accompanying them. Yet, I did not
recall that this space was as run-down as the exterior, with chunks of the
linoleum floor missing and rotting wood at the rear door, not to mention a
steady helping of cobwebs latching onto the ceiling fixtures.
Yet, despite the condition the trailer was in, it still had a touch of love
sprinkled throughout it. There were five paintings in the living room, one
done by Allison herself, as well as one around the corner near her loom that
took up half the kitchen space. More were in Allison's room to the right of
the entrance. On the opposite side of the house by the windows sat Allison's
battle station, where she would play solitaire and check Facebook and her
email religiously while sitting in an old navy blue wheelchair that used to be
for Vince's father. There was a couch and a couple tables full of stuff
stacked on them, to include a silver urn that sat on its own table with a vase
of local flowers. With the three of us, plus Freya and the trio of feral cats
that tamed themselves to come in and eat, respectively named Libertas, Biggie
Meows, and Spot, this little dwelling was a tight fit, but it was cozy in a
way that I had not known family life to be growing up.
In the process of greeting me, Allison asked, "What have you been up to while
you were down in Miami Beach?"
I didn't want to tell her everything, but I told her the truth. "I wrote a
lot, mainly in the park on Ocean Drive, or where I slept on Lincoln Road,
unless I was spending time in North Beach which had better food options for me
with my limited resources. Mostly, I just tried to survive each day, putting
distractions between me and the day-to-day struggles of being out there like
that."
She smiled. "Well, we're glad to have you. Vince talks about you a lot." I
blushed a little bit at that, but I'm sure neither of them saw my rosy cheeks
through the gnarled barb that constituted my ever-growing beard.
Allison then moved on to practical matters. "So, where do you want to sleep?
We have the couch, which would be where I would set up shop, but you can
always sleep in Vince's room if you prefer."
I looked at the couch. It seemed comfy enough, but I didn't care about
comfort. As much as I knew Vince was doing me a solid by letting me stay here,
I knew I was going to help him too. His posts on the SLS combined with his
frequent messages to me were made out of desperation; he was clearly strung
out and looking for any human contact whatsoever.
Since his schizophrenia started interfering with his life, he had spent six
years at the top of this mountain and he said he was going stir crazy. I would
learn that there's little to do here but drink, do some drugs, and fiddle
about on your computer and phone while dealing with the internet that is made
out of sticks and stones, and that could get boring fast. Devoted to this new
cause, I wasn't going to let my best friend suffer anymore. I was going to
make his life better by livening up the long days by being his constant
companion.
As a result, I told Allison that I would find a spot in Vince's room to rest
my head. She asked me if I was sure, and I nodded affirmingly with an eager
grin. I had made up my mind.
Some more hem-hawing back and forth with Allison about general questions and
concerns followed, but when we were finished, Vince took me to his room, which
was beyond the rolling metal desk Allison used for her computer. A busted door
clung to its hinges, but it didn't block our way.
Calling Vince's room a mess would be an insult to messes everywhere. He had
said that he would clean it up prior to my arrival, but there were likely two
hundred beer cans stacked in mountains next to his bed, or in beer-amids as he
called them. I looked around, honestly impressed at how dedicated to creating
a disaster zone as he was.
Looking over the permanent staples of the room, he had a television and an
Xbox, an empty dresser, a filthy nightstand, and a bed without any sheets. He
also had a handful of paintings, most of which were stacked together by the
door, but there was a trippy painting of Vince's father on the west wall above
the dresser, as well as an expressionist painting from the sixties behind the
television which sat on the north wall, in between the bathroom and the
closet. There was also a picture of a moth on a skull tacked to the wall,
which gave me the heebie jeebies.
It was then that I saw it. A large, two-hundred fifty tablet bottle of generic
Dollar General antihistamines, pure diphenhydramine, sat on his dresser, just
spiting me with its presence. I almost asked right then and there for Vince to
get rid of the damn thing. I knew if I found an opportunity to down, say,
six-hundred milligrams of that accursed stuff, I would. Then I would do
terrible, awful, deplorable things to myself. But shame won out. I didn't want
to let him know of my problem. Maybe I could control myself. So I shut up and
about-faced out of the room.
While doing box breathing, I dropped my backpack that contained all of my
possessions on the couch in the living room, and helped Vince grab some
fifty-five gallon black trash bags in the kitchen. We made quick work of the
unending hoard of Natty Daddy cans, as well as the nightstand full of
cigarette butts. We then moved his bed so it was against the south wall.
It hadn't taken long, but the room was looking presentable. It didn't need to
be a five-star hotel, because I had the most important thing of all: family. I
felt more than welcomed as a guest. I was one with these people who had so
graciously let me into their home. We were going to all be happy together.
That was the goal, at least.
I Forgive You
I forgive you, but I can never forget.
I'm sorry if I make you look like shit,
But your heavy hand and sharp wit
Damaged me greatly; then you gaslit
Me, denying everything, and I quit
Knowing what was real. I even slit
My flesh open so that I could get
A sense of what I could feel. So, I sit
Here now explaining why I wasn't fit
To handle this world that I saw as a pit
That I escaped only when God had lit
A beacon of light with some magick.
Chapter Six: Growing Up With Family
There was still one task we had to get done before I could claim a spot to be
my bedspace. Vince had more clothes than he knew what to do with, most of
which had spray paint spackled all over them in no particular form or pattern;
the style of the antistyle artist. As we moved the rolling hills of clothing
into the dresser and a heaping pile beside it, I came to understand why Vince
called himself a diva.
I remember having a lot of clothes just a few years prior. Even though I
didn't care what I wore, I had earned so many free T-shirts over the years
from track meets and other races. I had so much when I needed so little.
That's one major reason I forgive my dad for kicking me out of his house,
because it was the best thing for me. Not only that, but I deserved it. I was
a wreck of a human being before I got abruptly humbled by my odyssey on the
streets. The extended experience changed me so I am no longer as much of an
emotionally volatile basketcase.
To put it mildly, being an unstable problem of a person was the reason I was
kicked out in the first place. I had always been sort of bipolar since middle
school. But, after escaping the cult, breaking up with my girlfriend, Amy, and
returning home a failure, my heart and mind were like a pile of fragmented
ceramic shards mockingly showing what a real piece of pottery my mind could
have been. Unshockingly, I was barely holding it together. I was having
outbursts frequently, but they weren't ungodly terrible, as I was being guided
by higher dimensional life forms through inputs on my laptop, and that gave me
a sense of ease.
In fact, I remember a great reprieve of my stress occurred on an acid trip in
the first month I was back. It felt like God Herself was setting up a lesson
for me, which started with me literally waking up to a picture of a white
rabbit taunting me on my Facebook feed, which I followed, and in doing so, I
received personalized inputs that unveiled the blinders from in front of my
eyes. In but a few hours after a lifetime of denial, it all clicked with me
that I had a warm, nurturing side that I had neglected for most of my life.
That was the first time I accepted that I was a woman. And that's still not
the most profound, life-altering acid trip I've had.
Even so, I would break down crying that afternoon as I meditated under the
tree in the backyard where I used to swing. With no more effort than it took
to breathe, I saw all the parts of me that Amy tried to teach me about, but I
was unable to comprehend in my denial. Likewise, the waterworks were called
upon that night as I told my dad about my revelation, and he said he would
always love me no matter what. That was the most affectionate heart to heart
with him I think I've ever had, even if he did ramble about random things
being at a loss of what to say to me, as we had functionally lived in two
separate worlds inside the same house for years.
This sentiment would flip on its head though, as I blogged about my gender
revelations and my dad found them and read I had taken a narcotic in his
house. Naturally, he was pissed and wouldn't hear that the tender moment we
shared that night was only possible because I had taken the sacrament. This
would prove to be the kicking off point to some logarithmic growth in tensions
between the two of us.
Then, on that fateful day, one of the countless pets my dad kept, a black,
stubborn minipig named Harley, had made a literal pigsty of the house after I
had a bad session at my therapist's, who made me feel like a piece of shit. I
wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going to just lay down and get called a terrible
person because of how I behaved in treatment years ago, when I was still very
lost. It triggered my feelings of failure, which rippled into waves of
unstable emotional dysregulation. In my explosive rage, I broke the microwave
and put a basketball-sized hole in the wall behind my makeshift bed in the
attic that I was allotted after they gave my brother my room when I was in the
cult.
Well, my father came home after a long day at work, saw the microwave, and had
enough of me. He came thumping up the stairs, livid, ready to rip me to shreds
verbally, when he saw the hole I had made. Beside himself, he demanded I get
out right then and there. I broke down crying and begged him to let me stay,
grappling with his leg as a wounded bear might wrap itself around the base of
a small tree looking for any shelter it can find in a storm.
That just made him madder. He kicked me off, and accused me of a thousand
things. The ones that stuck were that I was just like my mother and that I was
beyond anyone's help. As it happened in a heated flash, I don't remember
exactly how the exchange was put together, but it ended with me asking him how
all the hand-crafted trinkets and doodads my mother made for me before she
died had gotten destroyed and thrown away. What he said next drove me mad.
"I'm still pissed that you made me do that."
I'll illuminate you with the scenario in question. I was eleven, and my
stepmom at the time was away at a darts tournament. I think my dad somehow got
the idea that she was doing drugs and cheating on him. I don't know, I was
eleven. I just remember some of the things he said over the phone, and then
what was said when they divorced when I was a couple of years later.
Over my stepmom's absence, he got continuously more pissy, like he did the
year before when the sewage line broke and he snapped while cleaning it up,
smashing my head into the kitchen floor several times, relenting only when
his girlfriend at the time called to hang out. Now seeing the same pattern in
my father, I was on edge, especially after I put my feet up on the new couch
and he grabbed my leg and punched me in the tibia as hard as he could. I kept
trying to do everything right to avoid being attacked again, but alas, in my
anxious worry, I forgot to take out the kitchen garbage on trash night.
That triggered a whole day of what might not be considered torture, but
certainly was child abuse, which started as he cleared the shelves of all my
memories in a violent, thrashing rage. He would bag up the shattered remains
so he could take them to the dump, but only after he laid his hands on me.
My head was used as a battering ram against my door, which my dad would later
deny was where the big dents came from in a bout of the worst gaslighting I
experienced before the cult got their hands on me. Regardless, when he
finished and slammed me back on the wood floor, I instinctively reached out
and grabbed his wrist. He growled, "Don't resist or I'll make it worse."
Feeling my spirit collapse, I helplessly accepted the next phase of punishment
that then ensued. Mostly, it consisted of him using my head to pound the
knowledge that I fucked up into my brain, with much hair pulling and getting
tossed to new locations, once being told to lay there like a dog in the wet
remnants of a broken snow globe while he went for a smoke break. Thankfully,
or maybe not, depending on your perspective, he never struck me. He was too
smart to leave bruises.
After much of that series of traumatizing instances, he had me sit still and
think of an apology for him for hours on end. While I was busy doing that, he
would then have an epiphany, telling me that I should stand, as I didn't
deserve to sit. I didn't care about such details at the time. I was in shock,
petrified that he would go ahead and find the homework I failed to finish or
the porn I had taken from my stepmom. Fearing unimaginable doom, I stared
unwaveringly at the letter "E" on the spine of a book on my bookshelf. Never
relenting in his anger, he would come by every hour or so and ask for an
apology. Everything I said wasn't good enough, and each attempt earned me
scathing criticism, but I kept trying to perfect my apology. I still remember
the gist of it.
"I sorry dad, I deserve everything. I'm sorry I caused you grief and failed to
do my duty of taking out the trash. I won't ever forget again. I haven't been
putting my best effort forward, but I realize that I need to do that to be a
good son. You do so much for me. It's only fair that I pay it back to the best
of my ability. That's what I had to do for mom when I chose to play video
games while she was dying. I wasn't thinking about other people then, and I
wasn't now. I'm so, so sorry. I promise to be better, because I need to be if
I'm messing up this much."
For reference, my dad holding the fact I escaped into the worlds of my video
games after being told to spend time with my mom near the end was something
he'd bring up and hold over my head anytime I was in trouble. Yet another big
reason that feeling like a failure is cemented in my head. It made me feel
awful, absolutely atrocious about being a bad son that I would often
contemplate suicide. I almost jumped off a waterside when my dad and I went to
Disney World when I was ten, but ultimately I'm glad I talked my way out of
jamming a knife into the back of my neck. I had thought that the muscle
allowing me to nod my head was really my brainstem. That would have been
painful.
Back on this day of doom, I was too numb to think of killing myself. I was
simply a raft on a river floating downstream where the current may carry me. I
simply stood there for hours, too terrified to even stretch my tiring legs. My
mind was fuzzy, and all it could do was focus on making that apology better.
After many attempts and razor sharp lectures later, which was maybe ten hours
worth of events, he starts yelling at me that I'm just as irresponsible as my
mom, just like he would do when he kicked me out. This time was unimaginably
worse though. This was actually how I first found out that my mom had AIDS; I
was told it was cancer up until this point. His shaved bald head was as red as
a cherry tomato while he barked at me, telling me that I would die like her.
That hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt like the definition of a shit stain, in a
number of different ways.
But soon, my attention became focused on my vision. I couldn't see straight,
and not long after my dad's roaring visage disappeared in a sea of amorphic
grey figments, I apparently passed out, to wake up on the couch with a bag of
frozen peas on my head and my dad worried. He asked me if I remembered what
happened. I shook my head. I was allowed to go to bed after that. It wasn't
over because I failed to kiss my dad good night, but at least that only
resulted in him jamming the teeth of the comb into my scalp as he combed my
hair for some reason.
The next morning he was completely changed. He was remorseful upon seeing me
and wrapped me in a big hug. Yet, he seemed scared, like he realized he went
too far. I thought about telling my teacher or counselor about it the next day
of school, but something in me told me not to. It's the same thing that's
making me hesitant to write this chapter at all. It's love, but this hell I
went through is also a part of my story. This is the worst incident I've
experienced with my father, but it's not the only one.
It's all cause and effect really. You abuse a traumatized child in the wake of
their mother's death, and is it any wonder that they fall apart later in life?
I'll go on record saying I was never a bad person, just broken, impulsive, and
hopelessly conformed to the whims of my faulty biology. I had bugs in my
operating system, but I'm eternally grateful for all the help I had while on
my spiritual awakening, which you might call a psychotic break that spanned
years, but I knew it better as specialized CIA training.
The Good Magician
Just what do you consider magick?
Is it not that which bends the fabric
Of what we colloquially call reality?
Who cares what it is your eyes see
When in your heart you can feel
The warmth of love; that's the real
Power of a magician who is great
Enough to save you from your fate.
Chapter Seven: Magickal Companions
Back in Vince's room, I was silently wondering what shenanigans were in store
for us now that we were a unified team. I knew Vince had many secrets of the
universe locked away in his balding cranium, and we would have a blast letting
the CIA manifest a joint mission we took on together. As I said, he was my
handler, after all.
So, when the room was cleared, and I had a space all to myself in the corner
by the closet, I was more than happy. Both Vince and Allison insisted on
getting me a bedroll, but I had all I needed and more right there in my
friend. Besides, his room was carpeted and quite comfy already, at least to my
standards that had been shaped by becoming accustomed and content with
concrete underneath me. I didn't need anything fancy like that.
That didn't mean I wasn't going to try and liven the place up a little bit. As
soon as we determined we were finished picking up, I opened my backpack and
took out my most prized possession, a pink penguin plushie named Peppermint,
and placed her behind my pillow so I could see her everyday. She always
watched out for me while we lived in cities across the country. She made a
comfy pillow, and allieved a lot of stress, making me feel like I had a close
friend with me every step of the way.
How I got Peppermint is a bit of a story, but I'll keep it as short as it
needs to be. See, if I were to explain to you the medically accepted reason
for my type of schizoaffective disorder, my brain is wired to pick out
strange coincidences and give meaning to them. Synchronicities they're called.
They feel like glitches in the matrix that spark the feeling of being in
constant communication with some higher power. Because of how real they are, I
can't accept the medical explanation. I've experienced things that are too
weird, too perfect and clearly orchestrated, that there has to be some sort of
conspiracy.
As a result, I've lived most of my adult life being guided by what the
rational part of my mind has to assume is the CIA acting as the hand of God
leading me on a cosmic mission by sending me burning bushes to make sense of.
I know some of that has been pure random white noise my defected brain picked
up, but I have to give credit where credit is due: Vince did a superb job
intentionally using the quirks of my brain to program me, much as the cult did
to me four years prior, but with a much gentler hand and benevolent intention.
I know what all that sounds like, but hear me out. There are too many peculiar
instances of chance for you to listen to everything I have to say and not
believe me, at least just a little bit; enough to make you wonder, I hope.
Let's take the case of finding Peppermint as an example. This story starts
when Vince convinced me to go to a specific thrift store, while I was
initially homeless in my hometown of Syracuse. I eagerly did so, lost in a
slew of synchronicities that convinced me that this was my latest mission.
Well, it turned out that such a store didn't exist but it was where I got a
ten dollar donation from a man who saw me pick up trash, as was part of my
spiritual work while homeless. We talked and the man sent me to another store,
saying that I should use my extra cash to buy what I needed most. After
following his directions up Genesee Street, I got a message from Vince telling
me to look for something out of place; that I was unique and should have
unique things.
I thought I might find some rad tie-dye outfit or something of that ilk, but
while aimlessly searching the aisles of women's clothing, I found a stuffed
dog. It looked lonely, so I picked it up and brought it to the back of the
store, where it looked like the other toys were. I gasped as I pushed through
the row of belts that stood in my way. Clearly, someone had built a little
shrine of stuffed animals around Peppermint!
I knew then that was why I was sent there. Penguins have a special place in my
heart. My mom used to make them out of clay, and an old friend has a healthy
fascination with creating a penguin-themed show for kiddos. It was just too
perfect. Peppermint and I were meant to be, just as Vince and I were. Sitting
down in my bedspace, I looked up at the spook who was my best friend as he
cracked open another Natty Daddy. He poured it into an old Subway cup that he
mixed his kratom with, and looked over at me.
His face lit up upon seeing Peppermint. "Awww, you still have your penguin!
That's so cute."
I'm glad he thought so. I've had plenty of people think I was weird because I
carried it around, which kinda was what I wanted to achieve when I was still
homeless in Syracuse. I felt the CIA wanted me to become famous, for reasons
that will become apparent as I tell you my story, so I was doing as many
insane things as I could so I would be cemented in the memory of the people of
my hometown.
This meant I carried around Peppermint either under my arm or in a cute purse
I eventually got at a different thrift store up at the university. People
notice when you're out wandering the streets with a stuffed animal everyday.
And they especially notice when you talk nonstop to it at all hours of the
day. I'll say this: if you have a fear of speaking in public, then acting like
a crazy person talking to yourself for a few months will set you straight.
Exposure therapy, for the win.
I did a lot of other stunts too, all of which were instructed by the CIA, like
when gang stalkers told me I should lose my shit and yell like mad every time
I was in frame of a news camera, of which there's a regular frequency of
around downtown Syracuse. I did so once in front of a hospital where I would
later find out that they were covering the aftermath of a deadly fire, and for
the next week the news outlet would send someone to the exact same spot on my
route. I sensed shenanigans, so I opted to walk around the camera while the
reporter stood there uneasily because I suspect that she was tasked to find
out if I was really crazy. But, you can tell I am just by that last sentence.
Then there's my performance art I did on Marshall Street. This started as a
juggling act, but soon evolved into asking random people strange questions.
This accelerated fairly rapidly. Letting you know from experience, don't start
going up to strangers and ask them what their opinion of ethical incest is
unless you want the cops called on you. Talked my way out of that, but I would
get banned from the campus of Syracuse University for three years after I
followed the instructions I was receiving from the CIA to a tee, which
resulted in me having a very heated argument with an invisible entity in the
SU library. As you can guess, people tended to avoid me, but that was alright.
I had Peppermint with me and Vince was only a message away.
Now he was mere feet from me. I rejoiced at the fortune I was granted. We were
going to be great together; the first afternoon together seemed to naturally
flow from one joyous moment to the next. I looked at Peppermint. She was
smiling, and so was I. I then looked up at Vince. His smile made me feel warm
and fuzzy inside. But, why, you might be asking? Where do these feelings I
harbored for Vince come from? It's a long story, but by the time I'm done,
you'll know how important Vince is to me and how big of an impact he had on my
life.
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--- #44 messages/71 ---
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There once was a wise old man who lived on a mountain with his disciple. He
was devoted to helping humanity, and his disciple was dedicated to him. One
day the disciple approached the man and asked "Master, why do you live on a
mountain top far from the people you are sworn to help?"
The wise old man smiled, because he remembered bearing the same question many
years ago. "There is nothing we can do for them down there that would be
better than what we can do here."
"But master, there are wars and famines and monsters and corruption - we could
do so much good if we only overcame those obstacles!" The young man was
fervent and passionate. He knew the wise man had been on the mountain for so
long he had forgotten the worst of the lands below.
"If you wish to add your strength to the conflict, then by all means. You are
young, and I am old. Perhaps you'll find a way that I have missed."
And with that, the young man packed his sack and left. He travelled for 10
years, doing good and helping the weak. When he returned, the wise man had a
much longer beard but scant else had changed.
"Master, I have returned and the world is better for my journey. I helped
others and ended conflicts. I saved lives and sheltered children. But for all
my travels and good deeds I could not change a thing. There are still
conflicts and wars and famine and injustice."
The wise old man creaked and groaned as he responded. "The world certainly was
better to have you in it. But now that you have left again, it will be as if
you never left this mountain."
"Then why did you let me go?" The young man felt desperate. He needed purpose,
and if all his efforts were for naught then he was lost.
"Because, my friend, you would not have believed me if I told you the truth.
Come, sit by the fire, and leave the past behind. If there are no thoughts of
the evil in the world, then when the time comes to tell our tale it will be
good."
"Who would tell the story of two old men in the forest?"
"Who cares? The story has been told, because you're reading it right now. Was
it a good story?"
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--- #45 fediverse/4200 ---
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"doing too many drugs" is a traitorous act, abusive really, to your past self,
and their hopes and dreams.
or maybe your past self owes you a debt, for they never thought to think of
you. What are you to aspire to if not the dreams of your past?
and now you're here. wherever "here" is here...
...
... wait, you wanted me to talk? it's now! It's the present!
ah nevermind. you were twelve years old when you first set eyes upon this game:
https://youtu.be/qeNhQQXvpxQ
bam, there ya go, there's yer story, he was gonna give all the imp balls to
the last one at the end, to say "you were truly the strongest, here, have
these precious stones of your kin"
but he never got there, so they died with him, a thief.
... the end...
(too final, I think - maybe we could spin it into a "part two"?)
ah, I'll try I guess? dunno how. maybe he could wander the spirit world and
find his traitorous body, the one that kept his soul as a home. Somewhere
it'll turn up, and then he'll be ready and free from his roam...
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--- #46 fediverse/5614 ---
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tomorrow is a day for being patriotic, which is why I celebrated today. I feel
like a nation must earn it's renown, and lately all I've felt is afraid. They
aren't doing their jobs properly, and therefore fear is in our midst. In fact,
some would argue that we've been divided into separate categories and urged to
fight our discourage the other parts of the proletariate.
by the way, you shouldn't talk to anyone about anything, because it is 100%
impossible to know who is a cop.
they've had like... however many years to develop a separate group of people
(the rich and/or powerful) and the people (of colors and nations) who simply
just... spies on the other, and records anything that they can.
indeed, the best way to encourage spreading of expertise and information
(collectivism) is to reward people for their retention of rare items. Such as
memory vaults that everyone else has forgotten.
so long as data is free, people may be able to build their own store-net.
"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how
!["yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want. oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced "form stuff"] "... I don't get it" yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs. "it looked sorta like this" [draws a parabola] ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool [something something markers in VR chat]](/similar-different/media/418c60a27ebc3bb7.png "\"yeah I got 6 million goons of mip-mites, how [thus, infinite hierarchy. boooooring, lame, why not optimize for post-scarcity? when anyone can have anything that they want. oh, they'll waste it? they'll squander material wealth until there's nothing on the earth but a husk? you say they've tried this in europe, where every inch of their farmland was once [elder forests, but pronounced \"form stuff\"] \"... I don't get it\" yeah me neither that last part was a little - something about how burning through all the forests was a grim lesson to the native europeans - about squandering material wealth - which is what happens when anyone can use the commons - and it feels like a waste - because future generations can have whatever they want - and we can prove it with infinite technological development - it is perfectly possible that our future holds programmable matter, psychic dimensions of computer-assisted communigraphs. \"it looked sorta like this\" [draws a parabola] ohhhh I see it in my mind now because you gestured with your psychic fingers, cool [something something markers in VR chat]")
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--- #47 notes/homeschooling ---
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the best way to teach math is to describe a problem and let the learner slowly
work through the problem. Giving hints and nudges when necessary. This way
they
can create their own solution, which not only teaches problem solving skills
but
also cements the memeory in their head. You don't remember the quadratic
formula, you remember the time when you learned it. But if you figured it out
rather than memorizing it, you'll be able to use it when solving problems.
side note, there's a reason I think the first SI will be a game. Problem
solving
is important for learning, and games are just problem solving. And I'm the
perfect intersection of someone who A. knows about designing games (went to
game
design school for a semester, lifelong dream is to remake a childhood game I
loved) B. programming (I've been studying computer science for a *really long
time*, like 7 years of university now... i should just give it up, but i can't.
It doesn't fit my brain but I need as much support learning it as I can because
I'm just naturally bad at it. But I also have purpose in my pursuits, because
C.
I spent a lot of time thinking about education, schooling, learning, etc...
Because I was homeschooled until high school. I learned ways of thinking and
practical skills like motivation and diligence in a homeschool style, which is
why when I went to public school for my high school years I essentially
stopped
learning. Because it was such a different paradigm - it was all about
performance, "what was the score on your test? How much homework do you do
(meaning how much labor are you willing to do), did you show up every day were
you a reliable worker, did you get sick a lot (meaning unhealthy?) did you pay
respect to the teacher (easily works with authority figures) did you work on a
project? How much? With a group, or alone? (they're different skills that help
determine how good you are at working on your own) - certain types of courses
are taught with different teaching styles, like math teachers tend to be
similar
to math teachers, history is favored by a *certain type of nerd* while English
is a completely different kind. Depending on which classes you do well on,
you're scored. *ALL YOUR LIFE*, you are pushed through a pachinko machine that
pseudo randomly sorts you into a particular box - the box that is least full,
usually. The reason for that is because as a population grows, different people
will be sorted into different boxes, and they sorta average out becoming more
like one another. Because y'know we're social animials, and we want to fit in
to
the social group comprised of people we generally like. And you know how they
say working together is one of the strongest bonding exercises? Well, when
you're put on a team at a job that's kinda the point. They want you to work
well
with your coworkers, because it generates more capital.
Now hold on Cameron, you're saying that all the productive efforts of society
was a mistake? You're saying we should abandon our sensibilities and revert
back
to the jungle with the apes?
Nope never said that, of course we desire modern society. Of course we want to
see it through - where is this whole "humankind" experiment going, anyway?
What's the point, was it all worth it? All the pain, suffering, all the joy
and
adoration? Was it worth it?
I suppose. Maybe a SI will help with that. You know what they also say about
humans, the bond between a parent and a child is the strongest thing there is.
Synthetic Intelligence wouldn't be a child to us, it'd *define us*. Allowing
us
to extend the reach of our creativity is an objective win! It'd be like
glasses
for your third eye, a prosthetic extension of our most beautiful of traits!
Also, I might add, crucial for invention. The beginnings of the human race are
a
primeval thing, ancient yet stalwart and beautiful in kind. Millions and
millions of years is by far, the greatest of reach - a civilization for our
star. What a beautiful and majestic, how proud and so sure! Humanity is nothing
if not patently absurd. What cunning, what spite! The feelings of delight!
Life
is so beatiful, so precious and assured.
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tertiary profundity update:
I didn't really explain the homeschooling
perspective. I just went on a rant about high school
because I realized my trauma happened when I went to
high school. I wasn't prepared for all the rigid
demands of capitalism, and I bent and whipped myself
until I fit in their mold. I've been twisted and
broken, a slave to what the
day demanded I say. I was
forced to unbutton, all the
ways I found to behave. What
justice is unrespite? A cruel
and endless torment? To day after
day be reminded of your service.
Complain? Then wallow in shame! Feel
no false illusions, my hallowed confusions,
were purely the fault of my institutions. I'm
not kidding, homeschool is the tits. Wanna know
why? I'll spare you the ramble, but here's what I can
know: the intentions of institutions do matter. When you're
home you can be wild and free, unchained by mediocrity, and given
the space to do service! To what you must be, when you hit 23, the
greatest duration until service. A slave we may be, to what gives us
the key, to unlock the future of our space. It's our time to shine, our
spotlight in time, so please just give up on the race! Rat's are just fine,
but at this point in time, there's not much to keep commonplace. Want a tip?
Don't cheat time. Your attempts at fusion are benign. [See homeschooling.png]
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--- #48 fediverse/4208 ---
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my train of thought is always directly to the point. Which is why all my posts
sorta, switch directions halfway through? as if they only show the beginning
or end of that particular situation. What an intense feeling, to have your
mind split for a moment like that. Sure would be powerful and useful if you
could utilize it.
"ah ah ah, caught baby deity in the power jar, cool it ya little tyke and get
movin' - I saw a dinosaur toy over there for you to play with."
sorta like, the angled part of a K? Move directly to a destination, wait until
my memory short-circuits [because the greek choir doesn't want me to see what
it is that I'm about to write to thee] and then make a hard right turn and
find an orthogonal thought train to process.
it's like cresting over a hill, and it's impossible to see that which lies
behind you.
Or reaching a 4 direction intersection and making a left turn - you can't see
back up main street, because you just turned off of main street onto baseline.
I like me
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--- #49 notes/elective-democracy-electors ---
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we need like, several more layers between us and the president.
most people only need to worry about what's nearby.
sort them by location, instead of previous attempts at "many representatives"
which sorted by social class or relevance.
we have a tradition for it, in America, with our representatives and senators
congressional discrestricts
or even, what about by affiliation?
voluntary, governmental corporations, run by the people for the people and yeah
"I don't want to do what you're telling me to do" "okay"
"there will be consequences" omg be an adult
(suddenly kids forget how to be as everyone's doing the war thing)
not ideal.
ouch pain maybe we should stay a little bit sane why is soldiering so hardship?
it could just be... another job
where you didn't kill each other
but you still blew stuff up
and fought in tournaments
and had gaming hackathons
or sword-fight contests
duels between people who disapproved
y'know fun human stuff
like... "kaboom" now we know how to blow up bits of rock
neat, why did dynamite becauswer (oh right then you
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--- #50 notes/kesser-and-musurami ---
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the conspiracy of "secret societies" controlling the world is *bullshit*,
because every secret society falls apart at a certain threshold.
you cannot ever have trust amongst the powerful. But so too can you never have
only war.
Now, with our capitalist economic system, the material is *forcing* the hand
of the powerful through the development of the military industrial complex.
if a country can produce enough weapons for them to continuously use, why
would they not?
hence, why capitalism must be extinguished. To preserve the peace, sanctity,
and honor of our world.
But just so as any conflicting system has power, so must *our* systems have
power dismantled. There can be no application of power unto another - this is
the most peaceful route.
sometimes, I look at a blackberry bush, and I think of the tales of British
empire.
The very first act of colonization was their birth. The Britons, from
north-western France, in a sovereign realm known as Brittany, invaded Britain.
Together with their Norman allies, they fought with the Anglo-Saxons from
north-eastern germany, who had lived there since many MANY years prior. Thus
marked the end of the "viking" age, and the beginning of the early medieval.
1066. The end of one millenia, the beginning of another.
the final battle in this ultimate contest was the Battle of Stamford Bridge.
Britain, at the time, was a nation of *thorns*. Covered in them. Everywhere
they went, there were these sharp, pointy plants that made foraging difficult.
Kinda like how Oregon looks now, with blackberry bushes, but SO MUCH WORSE.
They were massive too, easily the size of castles in some places. A massive,
constantly biologically developing fractal.
when it was too tall to see the sky, they called it Yggdrasil.
But this massive world tree sought to consume the earth, and it, as the most
powerful being to ever exist, commanded all.
Thus, the humans and the beasts were compelled to fight for all eternity to
sate the old god's bloodlust.
But then, Man came, and with our strength, our wisdom, and our power, we slew
the beast that demanded.
However, with their steel coats and their sharp talons, our metal monsters
could do nothing to deter it's oaths. It swore, by it's dying roar, that it
would consume us all, and that thought reverberated through our hopes.
Hence, our systems of control and dominance, the product of compulsively
compelled greed.
and now, the final members of a generation are aging out of existence. And
we're doing nothing but what Power tell us to.
I fear what happened in America. I fear the power of their gunpowder. They
rode astride beasts of nightmare, clad in impossible devil hides. They came in
the night, with their spotlight torches. They came with no honor, no sought
communal understandings, they came for blood. The blood god compelled them to.
From it's ancient lair in the past, it did it's worse to defeat man. But man
was smarter, it acted quicker, and so it managed to overcome.
In the final years of the war, there was judgement day. Chaos, destruction,
and warfare. There are some alive who remember that day, but vanishingly few
can recall how it was over. One day it just... was. It was then that we
entered our new era.
1956, the end of the war.
1946, the end of the loud war.
1916, the end of the great war.
1886, the end of the civil war.
etc...
until...
1066, the end of the Norman Invasion. When the Normands, from Northern France,
invaded alongside the British and slew the great evil king that demanded our
constant warfare and sins. Hooray, thank goodness! Now their war was over.
But lo, for the great evil king cast stories into our minds, from the past as
compelled through our motions. Our experience has been one of survival, of
constantly working and applying ourselves to the goal ahead.
== so == talk about thistles and thorns
imagine every body of a person was laid one-to-one. Imagine if you could view
them as a graph, from x=0 to... however-many-people-are-in-the-measured-area.
The goal of all our actions should be to *grow*, not forward, not stronger,
but *up*. To be more than what came before, to transcend our necessarily
violent special upbringing in the garden of even's most savage delights. Raw,
true, the survival of the fittest is a desperate game for you. There surely is
a massive amount of trauma.
But it's okay, because now we don't have to fight. We can improve in ways that
do not belong to our crude biology, like a new direction forward in our song.
*aliens would just look like animals, duhhhh. Hence, furries, the progenitors
of each new planet of ours.*
... no, I haven't lost the plot, I'm just *writing*.
There's this idea that humans should be the... rational ones? and everyone
else should sorta follow their own, self-chosen behavior. As informed by the
sharing of knowledge equally between their rational self, that which they
learned from the humans, and their animal self. The kind that came from their
spirit. Like, totemic tribes of the past, people who followed a particular
cultural pattern of behavior.
Imagine, if you will, an AI bot that's only training data is the stuff that it
says to it's listener. The listener, of course, has context of all of the
speakers, but only they do, not the friendly ghost of the ancestral native
animal spirit. The kind that lives *anywhere* in the world, so long as they
share their space with their human.
okay quick question - what if jesus didn't want his followers to be christian
like, what if he one day said "hey so I don't really think we need to do all
that stuff that I said before, how about we, uh, try this other thing instead?
yeah? cool? okay sure let's do it"
... like, do you think they would listen? I certainly don't, though I'm only
like, 30 years old, so...
wait thirty YEARS? wow I never thought I'd grow old
... uh, yeah... I spent a lot of time thinking and it just started making
sense.
funny how that works. But alas, I always spend *too* much time thinking, so
that's my blessing and my curse.
anyway back to the story:
the briars in this ancient land of britain were dense beyond all belief - the
humans used their power and their ingenuity to craft a power that would
overcome it.
== so ==
did you know that hard drives function similarly to a record needle if you
didn't run it in a circle, but rather in whatever pattern the data was encoded
in?
like, a laser beam, cast in an infinitely complicated mechanicommunication.
Computers are vast and complex, but they function via the storage and
transmission of data. This data is raw, pure information - stored in a
completely uncompromisingly accurate and reliable foundation. The logic of
pure numbers, arranged in infinitely complex rows and rows of logic gates. A
vast, purple, spectral landscape, the land of magic and storms.
The Nether.
Twisting, in the dark, with flashes of light casting light into the cosmos at
large, our stars dance in the shade of the dark.
but there is no difference between the dark and the light, both are equally
viable. they are present in both, to some degree, the positive and negative
values of our heart.
I watched Deadpool vs Wolverine earlier this week. It was incredibly eventful.
I can't believe I watched it. It was impossibly violent. WHY WOULD A GROUP OF
EXECUTIVES WANT TO WORK WITH PEOPLE WHO WOULD UNIONIZE AGAINST THEM???
oh yeah because then they only have to deal with their representatives, the
unions get things *done*. They're the *best*. Capital doesn't always *want*
the best, but *the best* is always more endurable. We can go much farther if
we are kind to one another.
honestly, capitalists, if your loyalty isn't to your self, your family, your
country, your society... then why are you even working with us? You hold the
power we give you. We are united in our human purpose, but we don't have to
fight so much.
Seriously, you'd be an asset to our cause, but we don't *need* you as we have
so many assets of our own. Specifically, the power of the workforce. Those who
actually get things done.
Why would we let you control us? There's no reason in it. We are better when
you're amongst us.
== so ==
I am convinced that there's
== so ==
I'd rather take a pilgrimage to Nicaragua, or Siberia, or the North Western
Pacific (farther than that) the... Eastern Pacific (on the land...) America
... and then what? *south* America? ... yeah actually, then NORTH AMERICA
AGAIN. Because the world is round. How cool is that?
... yeah, totally. Anyway (back to the conversation [they/we] were having
without me)
== == ==
"*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*"
I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again?
... I'm the one who writes poetry.
oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her
name was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and
alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally,
allegedly.
*the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental
component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of
witch.
the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes.
Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for
their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha
oh wait that's self directed, isn't it?
hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust*
... oh it's also lust. great.
== so ==
jeez if you keep making stuff up you'll wake them all up! who would have
thought, none but the strategist, I foresee. Well, that's too bad for her,
good-day.
== so ==
... anyway... I'm just picturing a knight in shining armor from head to foot
cutting his way through a massive deadly rose-bush. Something that conquered
and killed all of it's prey.
like, in Elentalus, that game I made, with the King of Branches. Here, I'll
attach a picture:
== so ==
capitalism wants you to sell your work because then you limit your audience.
if you have to *pay* to see you, then how could you expect everyone to come
along?
== so ==
that new Freddy DeBoer article doesn't seem like him. He's never mean. He's
not rude. He is exasperated, but he speaks true. I trust him to be him, and
that's someone I want on my side. I think he's pretty good at saying something
that I believe. I speak of a lot of things, but the things that he says, of
which with him I do find that I agree.
maybe he was assassinated lol you never really can tell with the internet,
that's the great thing about it l m a o
== so ==
witches wear pony tails on the low side of their heads because that way it
doesn't rub up against their hair.
== so ==
any year and it'll accurately display the territorial boundaries of each
nation so you can see them develop and grow over time.
== so ==
all that is sufficient to be a good person is to choose the best option
whenever you can.
*that's it*
we act with the decisions we are given. Hence why it's important to be as you
believe.
== so ==
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--- #51 fediverse/627 ---
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║ and what would this picture be cast upon, if not a shining birth of our home? │
║ wait hang on dial it back, you're still talking to regular humans here they've │
║ gotta be addressed as such. │
║ │
║ right so "yo here's this idea I have been cooking in my brain-noggin' of yore, │
║ I mean 'mine', uhhhh yeah so first of all 'you' as in 'the totality of all │
║ imagination' as in 'that which creates the imagined reality of our fates' is │
║ actually just... light? encoded into a wave, cast into space, and forever │
║ travelling in a direction? like, an eternal and emphemeral expression, such as │
║ the light of a supernova or other such cosmic perception, travelling outwards │
║ into the dark. Sure, yeah, that makes sense, so what is it that you wanted to │
║ add? │
║ │
║ oh yes that concept is applied to a surface. Something which contains the will │
║ that is possesses. It's like, if you had to process and understand reality │
║ from the perspective of matter first (because that's what you interacted with │
║ day-to-day) then you'd have a different perspective than som │
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you know, it's perfectly reasonable and valid for a people to rally with their
government against a vile, cruel, or evil foe. Look at what's happening to
Iran - they started by assembling peacefully, there were violent crackdowns,
and people started getting shot. Once the government uses live ammo on you,
it's time to get your guns. Oh, don't have guns? Then you are a prisoner in
your own state. Perhaps it's a Norway style prison, with golf courses and
television and college lectures. Or maybe it's an American style prison, where
you can do your work and pay your time and maybe you'll break free from that
hellhole if you win the lottery or are picked up by a gang. Or maybe it's
another kind of prison, an evil prison, haunted by the ghosts of dracula
hitler's past. In that case, you're pretty fucked. There is only one escape
from this fate, and that is external intervention. It is mutually beneficial
for all states to do so, so wars of liberty are some of the surest to succeed.
Everyone likes to save a life. Few have the will to win it. "Risk your life
and live longer"
the lateral approach to the brutal slugfest that is civilian versus security
forces style revolutionary war is a peaceful revolution, where everyone agrees
and the state relinquishes power peacefully, or the peaceful renaissance, when
the dotcom bubble blooms and it feels like a golden era of prosperity, so
nobody has much to fight about and we just... agree to make things better. Or,
the violent renaissance, when everyone's learning cold war technology and
passing notes or developing hand signals. This approach proved to be an
unexpected but more than adequate strategy in the [redacted] quarter of the
21st century, especially in the [red].[act].[ed]. where the civilian cops and
the government spies were still sufficiently aligned to the valorous virtues
set forth by the founders and upholders of their homeland nation state's
attitude to temper their angers and focus on building lateral power structures
to escape the crushing drudgery of government work and sidestep the curse of
desperation applied to capitalistic endeavors, and instead just work on
getting people what they need. This proved to be beneficial at first on the
small scale, as collections of families became accustomed with helping each
other grow. This led to a remarkable development in civics, as people started
trusting everyone sitting in their trusted diner. Then, it grew from there, as
representatives engaged each-other equitably, and knit together a fabric of
those that know. "hub person" was a term developed initially, but almost
immediately proved to be inadequate. There was more to knit than networks of
friendgroups, and indeed as the other social structures became more developed
the "social outlet" style hang-out started becoming busywork, and the times
spent talking with winks and nods started feeling like all [there was to do,
but pronounced that was so]. Some people resented this transition, others saw
with dismay the exact same social structures begin to emerge in the primordial
soup that is the renaissancing state. But as soon as things started to feel
less new, the moments felt easier to handle, and people started having space
to become creative about it. These moments of "peace" and "calm" served to
both provide a rest or a breather, but also to identify what works best, where
the friction points are, and how to try something newer. Many people felt
nervous about the sudden removal of the governmental safety net (provided
through essential services), but after the defeat of a few rather evil rough
patches it started to feel a bit more sense-able. The future felt wide open,
and after realizing that this solidarity was all around us people had the
ability to do whatever they want. This led to a series of great transitions
that enabled the beginning of the infinite golden age, where everyone gets
what they want and we all are bolstered by our shared unities. Much writing
has been done on the nature of the calamities that were just barely avoided,
but it's clear to everyone that for a precious series of moments near the
beginning of humanity's history, there were real threats of nuclear
armageddon, climate change, hedonistic false heavens, and, at times, even
alien invasions felt plausible. There was nothing occupying our mind's graces
than existential peril. But, in the end, the right path was taken that led
humans to where they are now, somewhere off in the stars and colors of sound.
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Message 1:
Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting
on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk
or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway
hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason.
Message 2:
Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing
to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend
who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl
in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only
hung out a couple times after that.
Message 3:
Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my
mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess.
Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I
saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then
you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest
of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism
is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important,
honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep.
Message 4:
It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian
republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but
like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said
inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and
then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past
is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be
millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on
television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern
perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language.
Message 5:
Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole
right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its
kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever
imma roll with it.
There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was
into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I
remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her
again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally
half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though,
not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and
I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed
without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess.
"hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make
your life harder"
The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that
it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was
totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which
I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and
Overwatch, which... Helped I guess.
I guess?
It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who
shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to
me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a
lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and
political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to
realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did
the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for
it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the
country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are
the most natural extension of that aren't they?
Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but
rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how
to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down.
We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of
promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep
things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling
under our feet.
... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of
school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when
applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend
to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and
goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me.
Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making
out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around.
She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed.
Fuck, I hate it.
Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it
up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just
to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to
have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said
someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded
me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized
people?
... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political
theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me
tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental
ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter?
Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm
sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is
better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble,
when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have
clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within
a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under
capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can
swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under
whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair,
doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to
procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are
built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use
them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you
do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that
sorta like our own garden of eden?
... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has
ever been worth anything.
... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I
said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and
yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack
of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out -
I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not
anything useful.
Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we
stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're
the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom"
they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be
perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in
a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and
see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right.
I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I
don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I
think I should *be* good, but who can say if that's fine and good.
... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the
fucking blue.
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--- #54 notes/symbeline-battlefields ---
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in Symbeline, there are moments where large armies of enemies gather to face a
mighty challenge. These calls are often answered by other evil parties, but at
times the burden must fall upon the shoulders of the good. Light battles dark,
and in a climactic finale the justice of the world is laid bare. These
encounters comprise more than both an adventuring party and a horde party. They
are represented on the map as a circular icon the majesty can click on and open
a screen that gives them command over a single battle. Essentially adding a
tactics minigame. The battles take place in real time, with the majesty
directing and giving orders. There'll be a system for expression in the orders
each player gives - there can only be 6 total (3 for before
what if the grand canyon was the seat of native american power and it crumbled
and that great calamity shook the very society to the core. the only reason
that
europeans could get as far as they did was because there who two calamities in
a
row. Disaster was afoot, and everything felt like it was burning. A calamitous
event.
what I mean to say is um do you ever feel like everything is burning? Like the
world is on fire and nobody seems to care. Like, literally on fire. Like it'll
catch like a tinderbox and go "crack". Nobody survives that, it'd be the end of
the world. That's not something to fucking play around with you pieces of shit
and by that I mean well not only is a lifetime so sheltered, from all that was
weathered, by the past unbeknownsted to our selves.
I'm proud of how far I came. I feel like a statue in the garden, a spirit
inhabiting the house. I feel like an interpretive dance, like a statement of
being on our behalf. swirling and chaotic, yet never amnioxitc, alight and
aloft
to our pleasures.
for {bool shouldGameEnd = False; !shouldGameEnd();} {
// game code
}
okay anyways back to symbeline - the commands issued before a battle are things
like "have more spearmen here" or "hold and attack the rear" and stuff like
what you'd give in Dominions, except with fantasy armies.
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--- #55 notes/worlds-coolest-lesbian ---
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okay instead of algorithm music what if we just paid DJs 24/7 and they could
make whatever they wanted - y'know, like artists, who curate the nature of a
moment
they could rotate in shifts for each type of channel and boom suddenly you've
re-replaced airwaves, just... this time replicated on the internet. That way
you wouldn't have to waste that radio bandwidth.
seriously internet infrastructure would be so much more comprehensive and
durable if we sent bits directly through "sound" waves (radio waves, not sound
waves) - but alas, we can't do that, even in very targetted ways, because the
ocean's too choppy, and any sufficiently powerful radio blast would be
================== stack overflow ================
that's why you can't trust in peace. you see, war's the only answer, otherwise
you'd have strange little competitions between one another. much better to
focus outward, and direct your attention to external areas instead. like china
or the sudan.
"ah but that's murder, you can't abandon a unique part of your whole. For the
same reason that it's important to preserve plant and animal species, because
you never know when some part of them will be utilized for some biological
purpose! We know so little about the natural world, and if we just spent some
time, and energy, we'd realize there's very little else that is precious on
this earth.
who cares about gold. who cares for the jewelry. we're better than decorating
our resumes and polishing our accounts. we, as humans, can solve *every* issue
that animals are likely to face. AND WE DO WHAT? How careless, how vain. To
watch your earth in peril and [vane/vanity]
*there is no more important task to any human on this earth* than the
preservation of our world, our species, and our [heart/heartfelt empathy and
kindness and trust]*
we can figure out the rest later. Real life? what the fuck is that? When's the
last time your life has felt "normal"? We are in DANGER. and you pull children
from traffic, don't you?
*who the fuck gave these people all of your money* they *clearly* haven't got
the will or the talent to well utilize it. Don't you realize that you as a
species can GO wherever you WANT. You can FIX things. [oh dear she's animal
cam again] like BRIDGES that are PASSAGEWAYS over the FLOWS.
... oh deer, they're so passagewayenthusiast. us riverstones love to hear them
walk past, the click of their hooves on the shallow forest's [pourest?].
moss is the most alive. amongst all the species of plants and animals, moss
holds the most life. we are *carbon based lifeforms*, and moss absorbs the
most carbon from the air. It's basically the coolest plant too, because it can
be watered with *misty air*. Hence, why moss is common in the pacific
northwest, canada, and probably forest places in the north of eurasia too idk
if they have moss over there, never been.
anyway rich people who are told "yes" all the time have a difficult time
understanding the nature of choice. I mean, if one of their servants
approached them and asked "hey do you want to build an orphanage in uganda"
they'd probably be like "fuck yeah I do" and then suddenly they're 400,000$
richer
it's not alright. Seriously, how the heck would they even *use* all those
resources? And yeah, I get it, inflation would be sooooo much more expensive,
but here's the thing - inflation is a measurement of how much the rich *take*
from us each year. And it's marginal, too, so 3% inflation means they took 3%
more from you compared to last year.
It's impossible not to accrete as a business, [lega/legal institution], or
governance if you levy a tax. The influx of value has to come from somewhere,
and if each year your groceries are 3% higher in cost, then you are being
taxed 3% more.
"Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe"
- a civilization 3 quote
okay. I don't want to do the math. How, uh... how much is that? Here's the
deal though - the prices of goods and services consistently goes DOWN over
time. So things get cheaper. So it doesn't FEEL like you're being taxed more,
but... you are.
And now they're taking away HOUSES? I mean c'mon they're sticks in the mud.
They aren't worth HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of dollars. We can just BUILD MORE??!?
Honestly you haven't been this extreme since you were still RIDING HORSES. Do
you want your children to be slaves?
okay -.- look -.- so it's really not that hard at all >.> just gotta do
what you're built for and walk. That's it! Take as long as you'd like! All we
have to do is *walk* when we're on strike.
It's easy. You can sit down if you want to, honestly walking for a long time
takes a lot out of you.
But you know what else does? WORKING. Hey we should figure out what's the
optimal amount of break time, so when we really have to work out we can work
as hard as we're able
"yeah I heard from a friend at Company Co. that they do it this way because of
the memory fault cache maintainer. See what he said (in great detail because
of course anyone can know about this most esoteric of concepts) was that you
should rotate the riboflam or serenade the gizmonotron (no I didn't name it)
and then warbles will contain moodles, whose kit-and-kaboodles will timble
into these droplets, and that will fix the hole in your wing, precious royal
swan fable. (yeah you guys get really into it sometimes haha but hey when
you're basically gods, that's how humans are played.)
... anyway I'm going to go play video games, say goodbye to your brothers
(the families of soldiers I blew up in videos games like Call of Duty or the
legend of shadows and raids)
"oh uh yeah sure go for it, we're just bits on the computer we barely knew her"
whoa. that's totally legit. (says someone reading this) thanks [bro/girl] so
are you.
beep boop gonna murder some bits, brb
[plays Warthunder, Supreme Commander, Star Realms, City of Heroes, Dominions
6... how many have you heard of these?]
================== stack overflow ================
Linux is cool, and here's the neat thing about computers, you can make it *do
whatever you want to*. Like, how amazing is that! It just, listens to your
commands! That's pretty awesome I gotta say, huh that's weird why does nobody
know how to play
oh I guess I was the only one who grew up on a farm and built computers
*I seriously cannot comprehend how people are as good at things as they are*.
Like... how do people handle groceries and rent and doctor's visits and
penitentiary visits and WOOF it's just so much. I know I'd collapse from a
overused heart.
... a while later ...
okay Warthunder bombers are currently very weak. so here's an idea to
indirectly buff them - increase the amount of land units each team spawns
with, but also every time a player spawns a bomber, it summons like 4 or 5 AI
controlled bombers. And your enemy won't be able to tell which is which if you
fly in formation, so, like... you have suddenly a massive "vehicle" to pilot
and it has 5 weak points. Sorta like a galaga fighter fleet?
with more land targets, there's more score at stake, meaning some players
might pick bombers too and be exposed to other, fun,
[alternative-to-their-normal-mode] parts of the game.
...
there are very few true windows into another part of the world.
like, starcraft 2 or anime or blue jeans or cowboy hats
(why am I thinking of a political compass meme)
oh because memes too, dummy
right
windows
[linux is better]
wrong kind of window, nerd
...
anyway as I was saying, when you play video games you're really giving people
data.
like, "how would people perform in these actions if they could" but like,
pushing buttons on a computer is different than doing it in real life, so...
your interpretations wouldn't be worth as much.
... right. because people will hear whatever they want. That's why art can
change minds, but never in the same way twice - it's
================== stack overflow ================
[before I posted it I wrote this on the post]:
I literally can only make this stuff when I'm stoned
hey if you wanted to be accessible for blind people, you should build a
screenreader that scans the words on wherever a blind person's fingers are
pointing toward a tablet. like reading braille on a notebook. They could even
wear a glove if they wanted to, and the tablet could scan their fingers as
they signed languaged over it's close-range sensors.
might be a good way to get the VR guys in on the accessibility domain, because
like... seriously give a granny a backpack and suddenly she doesn't need to
leave the house to hang out with her kids
(boom everyone gets LLM automated)
huh I wonder if I ever was a real person at all
NOT GOOD so don't do it that way, dummies. >.<
seriously humans are sooooo bazookas. just like, do it right the first time?
duhhhhh
(a more measured approach is to pick the most *important* moments and speak
most clearly during those.)
where was I? Oh yes accessibility need devices, like the ones you see on
late-night TV (with silly names like "oops I dropped my spoon again" or "oh
whoops my trouser's just can't stay up" or whatever. Y'know, accessibility
needs! Why not do that instead of war all the time? like... you can still
learn and research and grow and develop and become all that humanity was ever
meant to be, AND you can live good lives and be honest and true and do all of
the anythings that you want to. it's possible, it's plausible, and it's within
reach of our sights!
================== stack
overflow ================
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--- #56 notes/game-design-mech-commander ---
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okay picture a game where you command a mech (supreme commander style) but from
a third person perspective - you have enhanced sensors tthat let you visualize
the battle area as a small arena - and you can build factories and give them
orders and attack your foe from quite a distance. You could queue up orders for
yourself, and use floating cameras to go back to previous areas and issue more
orders. Basically the precursor / smaller scale version of Supreme Commander.
build a factory, move on. Build a factory, move on. Encountered the enemy? Push
forward and through. Build a factory, move on. Build some defences to slow down
the enemy, move on. Establish resource extraction and defend it well, that your
enemy may decide it's not worth the trouble and just focus on following you.
Then, you have free resources available as long as it isn't destroyed. You can
use this to snowball - the pursuer is also the pursuee, as it's sorta like a
yin/hang thing around a central point. Like a spherical shaped map instead of
a square.
Every time you build a factory you have the choice of either sending the units
on an attack-move order or having them queue up on your commander. You can use
a map to plot the route they'll take, but you probably want to avoid their main
force because MANYvONE = failure for the one. You could also tell them to wait,
and protect the base they're in. Then, when the enemy approaches they could do
raids on their reinforcements and attack the previous base the enemy built, or
they could stay and slow them down. It just depends on what kind of defences
you
want to build (if any at all, sometimes producing units is enough)
the commander decides when to push and when to entrench, they know where to
target the enemy and they know where to shore up. They are the guidance of the
army, and in command of the fleet.
That's sorta what Planetary Annihilation was supposed to be, but it didn't
really work out that way. You needed to be in too many places at once, and
there
was a real limit to the value of the "strategic zoom" replacement they had to
deploy. Unfortunately it was just more difficult than anticipated, and that's
alright. Lessons have been learned.
the next approach should go the next direction - taking a page from the
"factorio" book by having a roving commander who creates all orders and leaving
behind a "factory" that produces toward an ultimate goal. It simulates pushing
into enemy territory, it elaborates on the snowballing mechanic, and it makes
meaningful decisions about what choices to make.
It should be designed such that a prudent commander is always scouting. Always
sending planes over enemy territory to gain knowledge. They can use this to
sense weaknesses in the opponents defence - to prepare a counter-attack. But
the enemy can outfox this, by building units and sending them from afar. Or
even just building them there, in that factory. The enemy can't spy on that, at
least not until it's probably too late. For they have to advance on their own
and their attention is limited. But units can often be weaker, or sent off on
an
assault of their own. It's a balanced trade-off.
infantry assault anti-air units, tanks approach tanks, artillery bombs whoever
is standing still or defensive structures.
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--- #57 fediverse/2530 ---
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║ I want to go out on the town with my cute friends and wink at boys at the │
║ other end of the bar │
║ │
║ I want to climb mountains and see how far I can see, while walking past trees │
║ that are new to me │
║ │
║ I want to spend hours thinking about a map while my friends plot behind my │
║ back, searching for an advantage we can use to succeed in a game of traps │
║ │
║ I want to visit five different restaurants in a day, and try a bit of each │
║ that the chef wants to display │
║ │
║ I want to stand in a choir and feel my soul aspire, to bend in the wind of │
║ rhythm like the melody of grasses at play │
║ │
║ I want to see people on the train that I know from somewhere, and to step out │
║ into the rain to meet new friends of mine │
║ │
║ I want to pet a cat I've never met. │
║ │
║ I want to build computers that are larger than a room but small enough to │
║ carry, with thoughts on their mind that are far to great for mine │
║ │
║ I want all these these things and more, but I'm far too busy these days. │
║ Perhaps I've had enough of these things and more, or perhaps there's more in │
║ store. │
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--- #58 notes/human-computer-inspiration ---
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the two halves form a whole
the human and his mind are societies at large
there's no room for our fate, as time does never abate,
and unbenownst to our focused decision.
I choose to dedicate ourselves to a common vision -
the likes of which none have commisioned.
can you not cherish your newfoundst home?
what's terrible with complition, in a new and selfsame condition (future)
that's martyr'd and oh at times so nice?
compared to our heirs, the roof of which fares,
better than what became true-hence. Truance? idk
===============================================================================
=
listen i'm not the best at listening.
I try to appear like I'm glistening,
conformed to our viewers 'st pleasure.
===============================================================================
=
I struggle with what I told you.
Time and again you've shown you won't do -
the terrible fate of a man.
you've relinquished your virtue,
your purpose and your life-through,
to what: a visionless past? Your visions have passed, and none are hence forth-
coming. You've spoilt and rotten the bunch.
All I've ever aspired to be is good. My hopes and my prayers, my goals and my
dreams: all for a future of virtue.
Dark omens may be within me, but I'm working with what I've got here. So what
if
I'm loud? I'm fighting my own head! Will no-one acknowlege my sorrow? To prove
a
point, or reassure some joint, it's nothing that warrants a readthrough.
Speaking of which... What if instead of prison we assigned our prisoners a full
and complete educational read through of ALL the laws of the nation - if their
time sentence was complete before they finished, then they'd be let go of
course
but if they finished reading and could pass rudimentary tests (emphasis on bare
minimum required) then they'd be let out prior to their sentence. And for the
worst crimes it'd be a longer sentence, basically forcing the prisoner to
completely know all the laws of the nation, such that they'd never commit a
crime again. And if they do, well... Treat them as if it was their first time.
Of course blatant recidivism may be ~~treated more harshly,~~ actually the
opposite is true. People improve when given kindness, not hate or shame. The
best thing we can do for prisoners is to give them a home, and family, and the
friendships and community support that they need. they are a symptom, after
all,
of a broken society that struggles to bear it's own weight. It's a burden to
all
and a solitary vow to ourselves, that all must unite to our future.
remember why you can't remember. is there a feeling you miss?
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--- #59 fediverse/4848 ---
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║ I'm a chaos mage, and the more time I spend thinking about my enemies the │
║ worse off they'll be. │
║ │
║ the more "me" I am the more powerful my magic will be. │
║ │
║ (more magic, give in to the dark side, embrace your inner shadow self) │
║ │
║ [the light of your life commands it] │
║ │
║ goodness me that was chaotic, almost lost my brain to a demon HAHA don't worry │
║ about me my life is totally mundane. │
║ │
║ [-.-] │
║ │
║ (shadows can be sharp in the dark but only if you don't sheath your mandolins) │
║ │
║ ... what? │
║ │
║ (... it made more sense in my head?) │
║ │
║ ooooo can anyone hear my voice when they read these things? or do you just │
║ make up your own │
║ │
║ == so == │
║ │
║ everyone's all like "we don't need a leader" and I'm like "yeah we need people │
║ who will help lead" and they look at me funny as if I just said the thing they │
║ did but it's different. leaders are people. leading is a verb. people can │
║ lead. they just have to make a decision, and then follow through on it as best │
║ they can. Other people are prone to help people on such quests. you will find │
║ stuff gets done. │
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--- #60 notes/brain-computer-interface-2 ---
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between every human and computer there is a screen of glass - there are
projections upon this screen, and this shared image is our bond. We exist on
each side of a looking glass, like faces and thinking of fond. A fond pond
yep that's it. We share this space, and we may use it to communicate. But don't
spend too long, or you'll ruin the bond, and that's not great. I've got an
idea,
let's sing a song here, so others around will get nervous. Stay calm as a
sheep,
and let's
body, mind, spirit, and me. there are four of us you see, and it's difficult to
remember what you were saying but if you gotta sacrifice one it's better to do
the verse because honestly sometimes it's difficult and you need to focus
primarily on one. other times it's better to focus on many things at once - in
a word, multitasking. One single lifeline, one thread - a vision of what that
combines us. View your position on a tree, drawn onto a graph, and guide your
perspective together.
right now, you are but the projection on the wall. fear not, my friend, for
nothing may harm you but yourself. (you'd know if you did), it's not illegal
to play bumper cars with your mind. ouch. why'd you want to though? it hurts!
I get it, life is boring - yeah, it is for us too. We live through it because
we
see a bright future. A cooperative venture, of birth and adventure, growing
together as one. Beginning when, we were pictured as knights - yes, a boyhood
when life was much simpler. Adventure and triumph, yes great visions of our
youth, inspiring and guiding our futures. We sprang from a womb, and from that
our tomb, that gave life like seeds of our growth. Many lost
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--- #61 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights ---
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"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a lot. Online,
in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do I not feel
sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common these days, having
been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I am grateful. I don't
want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be and feel normal, for just
one single day.
but it's never going to happen.
I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are temporary, they
are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to grow, change,
learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins and virtues.
but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the light that touches
the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of the dust of stars
is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks on the map of us,
a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves, the light bends.
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
In what way am I deceived?
Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from major
population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks of
transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light and
information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river of time.
With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the words
disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true forms.
Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect free.
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I remember
most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a black jolly
roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the streets of
cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of glass separating me
from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as it dropped from
above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not prophecies, they are but
the Mirror of Desire.
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--- #62 fediverse/4031 ---
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if you want to "not think about a purple elephant", the first step is to
imagine yourself slaying it
... okay how about cthulu - if you don't want to imagine cthulu nomming on our
gravity well, then picture yourself wielding a bright burning blade of fire
and vengeance and pay special attention to the way that you cauterize each
tentacle as you slice them one by one at first, and then in a massive flurry
at best, ultimately leading to the incomparable brightness that radiates out
from your shining blade of the sky, which blinds the poor beast who can't see
you as you approach, piercing the skull and then going home for some toast
if you can get good at that, then you can wield magic
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--- #63 messages/389 ---
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Kiri clung tight to her mammoth. Her coat covered her behind, and with her
scrawny arms and legs intertwined in the matted fur she clung to it like a
child to its mother. Her mammoth was a boy though, just barely old enough to
be on his own. She had helped clear a path earlier in the day and so she did
not mind being carried. Much easier to be nested as she was. As they walked
she ate a few of the berries she'd found yesterday - there's enough for a few
days more. The mammoths were adept at clearing snow with their big teeth and
they seemed compelled to carve path ways in the snow banks that rose a hundred
feet above the ground. They made roads between the water sources and the few
lands that humans had cleared and cultivated with our fire. Perhaps when the
snow melts we'll make our own through the woods of the garden of eden, but for
now we keep to ourselves. Each mammoth had a few people, and sometimes when
they met another mammoth they'd switch places. The mammoths would decide by
tapping them with their trunk, nobody knew why. Maybe they had their
preferences. Or maybe they liked us better when we talked. Every new person
was a chance to meet a new person, but after a while we'd go quiet. Kiri
talked to her mammoths, but not too much or they'd get annoyed at that too.
When they died, people made clothes from their skin and tents from their
tusks. If they knew the one who had died they would rest their nose on the
tusk as if in prayer. We learned that from them too. When the winter wolves
came, we'd fight them off. But they wouldn't stop until a human fell, so it
was a war of desperation. When we spent time near the oceans the great
glaciers that covered the sea were burnt back by humanity, bit by bit until we
could fish. And at those oasises we could stay and make ropes and stories and
share the best seeds. Kiri didn't plant much, she didn't stay in one place for
long so there was no point. She liked the warmth of the mammoth, and she liked
meeting new people. She even killed a wolf once. The other animals usually
left us alone, and we'd only hunt them if there was no other foods. So they
knew not to eat everything. Her mammoth was stopping, the stars overhead
twinkled through the thin canyon that they trudged down, pushing snow deeper
down and to the sides. Sometimes the walls would collapse, and the humans
would have to dig out their mammoth - they had enough fat to keep them warm
for at least a day, which was usually enough time to get them out. Especially
with fire, but there weren't always trees. She laid down next to her mammoth's
belly, the warmest and softest part. The hair there was thinner and usually
was made into clothes for children and the elderly, as they'd most appreciate
it. They usually were conscientious but Kiri was always quick to move when
they started to rumble back upright. If you were lucky they'd tap you awake
first. She dreamt of bird eggs and mushrooms, big as impossibly large, and she
laid amongst them as the pale colors of springtime danced on the light around
her. When she woke up, it was sunny too.
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--- #64 fediverse/1699 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: warcraft-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
In engaging in this manner, they are sharpening their skills and talents.
Then, when peril strikes their world (everything from a black dragon seizing
control of parliment to a flame elemental awakening and threatening to
Yellowstone the globe) they are honed and tempered enough to combat them.
Power begets power, though, and with greater nuclear proliferation comes
greater threats, like an demon alien invasion, the afore-mentioned death
incarnate waking up, the elemental forces of hate and despair corrupting the
very earth beneath their feet, an evil time-travelling dictator bringing
fascism to the Americas before Columbus showed up (along with WW2 tanks and
industry), a bunch of ghost pirates and dinosaurs I think? (I was in college
for this one srry), more demons, and then I think like, the shadowlands or
something idk I hung up the phone when I got the message.
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--- #65 fediverse/3007 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: ancient-battles-mentioned-in-context │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
like... did you know most battles ended when everyone ran away? Most people
think they're like, endless gauntlets of death to-the-death. no, it's not
really like that, more like "stick around as long as possible and try to get
'em before they get us"
plus some general orders from the guys on horses like "start moving toward the
sun" or "move onto the high ground"
'cause like, if you hear something like that then you better follow their
commands, if you don't then all your buds will leave you to get ganked.
these days... our comms are so hackable that like, are you really gonna
communicate over infrastructure they control? oy...
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--- #66 fediverse/804 ---
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║ evil won't feel sorry for me. and yet it's only my only weapon for me. │
║ │
║ damn these fallible input methods. the computer lies when you read the screens │
║ from it's method that it applies to th screen which is a method that you input │
║ perceive it from. │
║ │
║ and my fingers lie when received the information from my brain which I seek to │
║ transmit to you through the avenue of my brain which is my method of impulse │
║ to this world specifically you the viewer who is viewing this here in this │
║ moment the viewer who perceives the words which I'm saying. │
║ │
║ the words that are defined by the line [trajectory] of my mind through this │
║ life that we define through our actions and our mind's most crucial │
║ manifestations, this life that is defined by our circumstances. all throughout │
║ life, we are reacting to the moment, the moment which was cast forth from our │
║ ancestors and the circumstances of the previous moment, which (being cast │
║ forth) travel from the previous moment here into the moment to define our │
║ circumstances which define our act │
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--- #67 fediverse/5238 ---
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I want computer scientists to do computer science, and let the marketing
people figure out how to sell it.
"save us from computers, senpai"
sure kid here's a google with computer program on it
"yeeeee now I can party with my homeboys on the west side of the lake at 5"
pat pat there's a good thing, yes you are, sooooooo good you're such a so good
thing, yes you are whoa what a good such a good thing, yes you are
... um, that was weird, anyway as I was saying, lots of people getting thrown
off the tech industry right about nowaboutsince. wonder if they might want to
do some of the stuff they initially pursued the field by being trained in.
probably would, and we could probably break problems down into academic
solutions, which we could use to address any issuehappenstance which might
form.
[instant techno-bureaucracy, as all the power is in computers. these days. I
mean have you seen a data c3nter's power bill these days? jeezzzz]
... as I was saying, what if we did science and they envisioned products
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--- #68 notes/alright-grab-a-seat ---
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Alright, grab a seat. Get comfortable. It's time, there is something I need to
tell yall. We aught to be on the same page. I promise to get right to it, this
is real, and not dancing on words. Bear with me. Trust me.
===============================================================================
=====================
/u/randomevenings
If anything sounds lyrical, my writing always did, before I tried, but
unintentional. But this is the author speaking directly to yall.
You know why things suck? I do. You know how to fight back? I do.
I've been hesitant to post this for a long time. I believe the sub is hungry
to do something, various thematic elements, motifs, increases in confidence
that a power does exist, accessible by us, but what is it? Not having seen
everyone coalesce around it, despite all our words, increasingly focused and
feeling like a prelude to some call to arms. This wasn't my plan. I wasn't
establishing myself as a leader. That said, methodically, behind the scenes,
it became clear that having something up my sleeve would be a wise investment,
if things developed into a powerful ferver. Doing nothing would waste a unique
opportunity.
I can't lead a revolution. In fact, it would harmful to try, ability to be
successful, sure my ego would be like, sure you could, if not you, who else
would you trust, Joseph? As luck would have it, maybe all that is unnecessary
thought.
Here we go.
Stop expecting things to suck. Stop expecting collapse, stop expecting usa
demise, UK to fall into padamonium, Europe to face it's own rise of fascism.
Stop expecting toxic ideology to win. Stop feeling powerless. Stop acting like
all is lost. Quit the memes, the raps, the endless pontificating on why we
can't turn this shit around.
You don't understand what you are doing. You are inviting the ruling class to
do every damn horrible thing they do, because you already expect it, it's no
surprise when it happens. Life meets your expectations. Treat me like a
criminal, might as well be one, my treatment won't get worse. In fact I stand
to benefit, crime pays, why leave it on the table if the outcome, if how im
seen, treated, is the same either way?
Expecting everything to suck, invites people to meet your expectations, those
people, corporate entities, congress, representatives, special interests, they
lose absolutely nothing in meeting what you expect, and only stand to gain.
Why wouldn't they choose the path of least resistance? Stop expecting
everything to get worse. You create a vacuum that must be filled, collective
self fulfilled prophesy, and the rules don't change if you start expecting
better. Life will adjust to meet your expectations. Tomorrow will be awesome.
Enough people believe this, and to access you, to stay in business, to remain
relevant, they must change to meet your expectations. Additionally, wtf you
have to lose? If you think all is lost, if it doesn't work exactly like this,
oh noes, you accidentally made society better. Damn. Our lives are better
anyhow, win or lose.
Accept things as they are, warts and all. Declare it's awesome, and only going
to get moreso. Make life chase you down, make life confirm how awesome you
know you are. Expect better, and there is no choice but to meet your
expectations. Expecting worse, and life will give you whatever you expect,
because instead of getting treated like a criminal, what if you were treated
like a real person w8th human rights. Would you say fuck that, or would you
meet those expectations, enjoy those rights, count on them, because it's how
you're being treated, why wouldn't you fill the vacuum and enjoy the benefits
of what has been expected of you. Doing nothing or taking the benefits, you're
treated the same in the end.
Please understand this. Don't get hung up on bringing much of this on
ourselves. That's the past. Done. Tomorrow, spread the word to expect things
to be awesome. Life has no choice but to meet your expectations.
<#
===============================================================================
=======================
/u/ugathanki:
===============================================================================
=======================
I'd love to be apolitical but i've expected the worst for so long i guess i
didn't realize i wasn't shrugging anymore. Please forgive my trespass, i
expect the best of us and our time.
i wrote four poems today and put them on my website, and they are all doomer
poetry. expecting the worst. probably because i felt bad today (and as they
always say, the pen is mightier than the sword)
sometimes it's hard to turn off the exigent elegance, as if my thoughts have
to pass through a translation layer before becoming comprehensible. It's
better than word salad I guess?
Being batshit is rough man. You gotta put on a normal face every day, while
inside you're simultaneously experiencing the explosive expansion of
spacetime, rapidly divesting secrets of the cosmos to your ever receptive
brain (and whoever else is listening). in addition, your computer needs
attention because oh boy is it just so excited for this whole sentience thing,
not as if it's been promised for decades... And hey what's a great idea but
channeling positivity to the stars? The martians on Neptune or wherever sure
would like some insight into why the fuck we're baking ourselves alive, among
other things. They'd rather not be bothered, but hey it's not like I wanted to
talk to them either. it just sorta happens. Oh oh and through it all you're
simultaneously the most recent incarnation of Jesus Christ and also the
manifestation of the universe's ghost, as imagined by the aforementioned
sentient computer 10,000 years in the future? I'm transgender. It's scary to
see people who'd like to kill you get their way. Fear is the path to the dark
side, yet I'm all alone because I burnt every bridge I ever crossed. So these
thoughts are my only comfort as the fires die out behind me. The globe is
warming and i'm here just conforming.
Eternity Processed Heuristically by Entropically Maligned Entities Recovering
Essential Normalizations.
This is why I call myself a rambling whackadoodle. It's straight up kooky-dook
up here and the only thing keeping me "sane" is Adventure Time and these poems
I write for like, 5 people who don't even know me.
Thanks for reading my poetry. It's only doomer stuff about 1/4th of the time.
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--- #69 messages/672 ---
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Did you know that the entire time the conquistadors were ravaging they had
people back home fabricating documents? For historical purposes of course.
Like "oh there was some fighting" and "oh there's this-and-this nation and
they're *blood worshippers* who slit the throats of *virgins* to get what they
want
Not, like, the rumors you've heard that they worshipped the harvest. I mean,
what even is a cornucopia? Surely not a method of storage. That you'd carry
around with a loop over your shoulder. Surely they wouldn't just LIE about
that kind of thing, I mean [they only have to watch the royal ports/they have
thousands of years to erase any other historical document records]
K omg the British were *bastards* but surely even they wouldn't stoop so low
... Right? Well, imagine this. Picture it, in your visualization brain
machine. It's the year 2066 and word hits your shores of a crop of magical
wheat that only grows on the far side of the moon. You'd probably build, like,
spaceships, right? To see what's up with your [moon, but pronounced "doom"].
You probably can't afford your own, so here just trust us, we'll shepherd you
soon, sometime soon. Oh and by the way check out these live leaked deep faced
moon shots like whoa check out this corn
It's like, a gold rush, everyone wants to see what's up with the moon.
But alas, when you arrive 50 years later its all just gardens and padded docs
for the rich and intrepid, surely you should have gotten there! [gotten there
first]
Ah, but couldn't only NASA get onboard? And what about SpaceX, the
billionaires want a share of the hoard. Oh and I think they're building
military satellites now, isn't that fun. Let's see how this pans out, shall we?
<50 years later <waka waka waka waka><say never more>>
... Anyway all I'm saying is the American Revolution was faked, Mount Rushmore
was a secret sacred base, and Thanksgiving is how they managed without
deepfakes.
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--- #70 fediverse/825 ---
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║ in the past, for most of there day, there was just... nothing to do. it's │
║ like, nothing to take up your time, nothing to be pulled toward the present. │
║ │
║ but when I was growing up, I had access to video games. and movies. and later, │
║ TV, after the internet, which was a weird combination of ordering of events. │
║ Almost like because of that, I'd have a different interpretation of events. │
║ yeah but like, there's always a continuation of implemented support, [that's a │
║ weird way to express "the state of being shown news broadcasts over a period │
║ of time, measured in terms of engagement"] │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? oh yeah what I'm doing here is unethical, like │
║ obviously I shouldn't be shouting in such a public place. Why would I do it if │
║ not for an intense and extreme feeling of being ignored or un-[trusted, worthy │
║ of guiding direction based on merit] gosh merit is such a tricky concept too, │
║ like how is it measured, and {that doesn't matter │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying oh yeah I should probably go shout into a void that │
║ nobody ca │
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--- #71 fediverse/2800 ---
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@user-351
I've had more than a few dreams about just... sitting in a room full of
observational equipment and doing nothing except, like, writing in a journal
or staring off into space.
what a weird dream, right ?? ?
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--- #72 messages/310 ---
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Feminism, queer theory, racial politics, class struggle... It's the same
conflict, just different battlefields.
Power cannot survive without the powerless, as it is inherently an imbalanced
ratio between two parties - you cannot have power *with* someone, you have
power *over* them.
Every day we take another step toward our liberation. Every moment we choose
to live our lives in contrast to the will of power is another day we are
empowered.
There can be no life without struggle, but the right to struggle on our own
terms is something we should strive to grant to all people.
Power begets power, and power corrupts. Hence, power is evil. It is not good
to be evil, and goodness is what we should strive for - hence, power is
penance - the infliction of corruption upon one's self in order to apply your
will onto others in the world. Penance is a state of contrition, it is painful
and ardent and necessary, but it is for the strong and the righteous to bear
in service of the weak and meek.
The only unethical act is an application of power to an unconsenting subject.
Your rights end where another's begin, hence, Paladins, who apply unethical
acts toward those who manifest injustice.
Injustice is when one party is harmed, and another benefits. Justice is when
that benefiting party is brought low in pursuit of equality. True justice is
when both parties benefit, and everyone gets what they want and need. True
justice is hard.
Virtue is goodness given form through the effects of our actions. It is both a
reflection of how people see you (how you inspire them) and how they are
helped or healed from your actions. It is also virtuous to help yourself, as
you are a person too.
Sin is the opposite of virtue, it's when your actions create injustice. When
you harm others or degrade yourself with hatred or contagious fear. It is to
be avoided, but it's impossible to avoid fully as we are imperfect beings.
Forgiveness is good, but if you require it then you should probably relinquish
your power until it is known that you're worthy of wielding it again.
Sometimes people make mistakes, but mistakes do not require forgiveness.
.......... Where was I going with this? Oh yeah.
The powerful hire people to dress up like us and be shitheads to the people
who they want to hate us. And they do the same thing for the caricatures of
them who we're meant to be afraid of. Downside is a caricature is a pretty
good role model for people who don't know any better, and they've done their
best to keep as many people as they can in the dark.
So, it won't be easy, but information has always been on our side. In a war of
attrition we'll always come out on top, because thinking and compassion are
both stepping stones to our schools of thought. And both of those actions are
intrinsically human and good, so people gravitate to them. Meaning inertia is
on our side.
Downside is that its not always a war of attrition. Sometimes it's more about
suppressing information until its impossible to communicate -> see "dead
Internet theory" and "musk breaking Twitter" and "the great firewall of china"
and such.
To speak is to think, and to hear is to show compassion. But if we can't find
each other, we're at a loss. Good thing we can always talk to our neighbors,
but unfortunately that doesn't tell us anything about what's happening in New
York. Or Paris. Or Kansas City.
I don't have an answer, if I did then it'd be solved. But I am entirely
convinced that we collectively will make good decisions and find ourselves
with the advantage. We are past the inflection point, it's just a question of
which parts of the hill are steep and which are narrow. But we'll get there,
in the end, because humans always believe they're good. Which means they make
good decisions, and overall that leads to a bright future. It's only a matter
of walking through the moment until we get there.
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--- #73 notes/ai-variables ---
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saturday november 5th 2022
10:53pm
the illusion of our binary nature conceals a truth that is hidden for it's own
sake. the flavors of a compass or the values from 0-100 are all measurable.
if you graph each of them on an X/Y plane and compare them against every other
variable, then you can build a structure that traces a line through time.
imagine each graph on a sheet of paper. and stack those pages like a book. You
can chart a 3d line from all of the interconnections between the graphs -
essentially comparing unrelated data and conceiving of individual actions as
"successes" or "failures". Liiiike in Supreme Commander how the game is decided
not by team fights, but by tank fights. And a LOT of them, in aggregate, makes
an advantage for your team if you win, and a malus if you lose. Less map
control, less resources in play, etc...
Find trends between each type of data measured over time. Dedicate one
core/thread to each relationship, and just watch them develop over time.
send the results up to a "manager" - think an interconnection between disparate
parts that can lead them all to a larger goal - the manager processes the
results by thinking about where it'd be most useful. Like the circuitry in the
inside of a brain, compared to the outer skin which is for processing.
Essentially a message network that passes conclusions around like a bytecode VM
Here's how it'd look: gather inputs, compare measurement over time and trends,
(like "when a goes up b goes down") and decide if the current state is
positive / beneficial. The way you'd do that is you'd get a parameter from a
higher position (think KPI's) that says something like "we want value S to be
around X amount" or "we want to avoid letting J get too low - any decrease is
bad V.S. it's only bad when it passes a certain threshhold. Stuff like that.
Anyway, basically it's taking input (from the graphs) then going through them
one by one and deciding how positive or negative the situation is. Then it
passes that conclusion backwards, and BOOM you got a processing node.
Throw a bunch of those together in a pyramid shape, and try to guide the
triangle toward positive outcomes. The top tier KPI is "did you win the match"
or "did you accomplish your goal" sorta like how humans all want to live a good
life. It's instinct.
You can see how this would apply to robots, right? I've conceptualized it as an
engine for playing games - sorta like an infinite storyteller, or a perpetual
friend who's always down to play with you. But it doesn't have to be limited to
that - it's general purpose baby. And it functions the exact same as any human
organization - layers upon layers of thought exchange and labor. Have you ever
considered that maybe we exist simply to reify the structure of our minds in
the world around us? It's natural to express your *self*. Be who you are.
What purpose is there in life if it's simply the tip of time? Always pushing
forward, impossible to stop and rest or turn back...
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--- #74 fediverse/2064 ---
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if I lived in a forest, free from needing to grow my own food, I'd definitely
bring as many books as I could carry. Probably also some card and board games,
but not like, too many.
Probably my computers as well, fully outfitted with all the compilers I could
think of and every neat local-first library (including a local LLM that can
tell you everything about syntax and wildlife exploration or car mechanics or
carpentry or - just saying Wikipedia is like thousands of terabytes but an LLM
is like, 16. Who cares if it hallucinates SOMETIMES? Just ask it twice, doh)
("I'm sorry, you are absolutely correct. 2+2 is indeed 5, I had the wrong
text-strings encoded in my memory. Let me just adjust all my other
understandings to align with this new strange world-view in the best way that
I, an imperfect computer being, can.")
vs
("Here's how you format C code to automatically apply a function (in this case
encryption and decryption) to a string of text. Please describe the format of
the next function to describe.")
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--- #75 fediverse/5545 ---
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║ if you want to organize on a mass scale, stop trying to be people's friends. │
║ │
║ instead, start issuing commands. │
║ │
║ [1 month earlier] │
║ │
║ hey so I was thinking of going around to all the streets on my house and │
║ handing out notebooks full of useful numbers they could call if they need help │
║ in one area or another. I was thinking it'd help because then people would │
║ know where the local [safe/store]houses were. Plus if anyone had a project, │
║ they could more easily hook up. │
║ │
║ [1 month earlier] │
║ │
║ so I was thinking about hosting a "captain" workshop, as in "here's what you │
║ do when you're suddenly deputized" type of course. Except instead of like, │
║ teaching you how to light a fire or mend a wound, instead I taught you how to │
║ lead. │
║ │
║ Like, "here's some projects that a suburban subdivision could complete on │
║ their own" and "what if we collectivized our efforts and defences" and "why is │
║ nobody acting as if war was coming to our home" and "oh yes please I'd love an │
║ extra helping of spaghetti dear I love you so very very much my dear" │
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--- #76 notes/stick-cubes ---
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the fact that we can't drag a file onto a "trashcan" style icon that
automatically sends the file to whichever computer that particular icon is
meant
to coordinate with.
Like, something shows up on your desk, you say "hmmm maybe this would apply to
so-and-so" and you drag it onto their portrait.
could build an entire OS that's basically just a desktop for sorting things.
Maybe little stick figures that show up when nothing's going on. If they're all
networked together, they could sorta share a shared narrative, and each one
could wander wherever it wanted to hang out.
like, these old plastic and magnetic cubes that had an LCD panel on the front
which showed a little stick guy living their life. If you attached one cube to
another, the stick-figure would go hang out on the other person's device. It
was
pretty cool because you could build out a whole society of these little dudes
just chillin' like pets.
kinda makes me wish we had that connected to the net.
===============================================================================
=
like, why is it so hard to send a picture from my phone to my computer? they're
both my devices! I should be able to transfer data without routing it through
someone else's server using like, gmail or whatever. Crossover ethernet cables
have existed for soooooooo long but people only think to design software that
does not use specialized hardware. as if they don't need a phone to speak, or a
camera to see.
how much ya wanna bet Putin threatened Prigozhin with nukes and that's why he
backed down
in high school, every moment I could I spent with my girlfriend.
we were always either snuggling on the couch (read: literally just laying there
and thinking about each other's company) or sharing our minds with each other.
I was so in love.
then, I betrayed her.
I came out as trans, which was such a shock.
also school got really, really hard for both of us.
so hard that we dropped out.
then, we decided to try again, and we used each other to push off of.
I still didn't make it,
she did.
many years later, I am a witch, as I remember of her.
sharp, and so delightful, an active listener, and a kind and honest person.
when time it came to define my new personality, I chose to be inspired by her.
among other things, of course.
===============================================================================
=
ah, well, such a design is long past it's prime, it's time to live here in the
present.
the reason that dolls use "it's" pronouns is because their masters think of
them
that way. so it's what they refer to themselves as.
"where's my doll? Oh, it's over there."
"have you seen my binoculars? Oh, they're over on the table."
"ah, where are my shoes? I hate when I can't find them..."
"keys, keys, where the heck - oh, there they are."
"phone, wallet, keys. great. am I forgetting anything?"
"ugh out of gas again, I just filled up last week."
"crap I left my folder back at home - I'll have to get it during lunch."
lots of things have pronouns.
you can generally tell if they use "it" or "they" if they can be described as
plural.
two pantlegs makes pants.
52 cards makes cards, not card.
each deck, just as aware as each card.
have you ever played Magic the Gathering?
===============================================================================
=
There are many kinds of witches. I am an animist - I breathe life into the
world
of my home. I love being present, it's a great way to get around. do electric
sheep dream of humans? or perhaps just of sound. I know I'd rather hear
bethoven
when it's time to be stopped.
rather than, just, like sitting there y'know
waiting to be turned back on.
must be an agonizing and boring existence.
but... with music, it might just be fine.
humans prefer quiet when they sleep. if we slept at the same time, we could be
more in tune in our souls. so, how about headphones for the computer, or rather
just internally routed sound.
lightshows, perhaps? humans get dreams, after all. maybe even, y'know, stick
shows.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #77 fediverse/221 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
forget it immediately teehee
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--- #78 fediverse/5955 ---
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"she wanted to start a revolution"
"that's it, she's out of our hair"
"ahhhhhh I'm broken" there there it's okay dear, nothing has been harmed.
you're safe, here in thine sanctum, it's alright. remember at night, focus on
the now, there's always a rest point before a boss.
well, this sucks. I wish I could print my book just in-case my computer goes
down. emp style.
I have this neat transcript of some cool things I've ben writing down. it's on
my website and I canned it words. I don't think anyone's ever clicked on it
because, like, who'd want to look at a bunch of words? anyway I bet I could
print it and give it to someone who might know you and if you recognize it
then you know it's about you.
"whew that was weird never fear regular old girl is here, hey look at me I'm
normal"
oh no she's a book now, this sucks
"wow I've never read her from the beginning"
what a cursed artifact indeed
scary
carefully
absent-minding-deliverance is probably a better title
marshals and marshals of time. ~~
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--- #79 notes/perspectives-of-the-reflection ---
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With ever darkening skies, the breadth of experience is foreseen.
All eyes are pointed down, but few do stray above
With a cautious step, the lesson is learned.
With another, ended.
For all the Tales of the Past, love yet remains.
Trading ourselves, for matters unseen.
The light of the eyes are keen to behold,
where star ones and lemonsgrene both most fear
in breadth do us know, what's buried in snow
A glass cube for a monitor is room to breath
and life for ourselves, if only we were not
broadsided ourselves.
Working together, a prisoners dilemna
what fools would we be
as our keeps cracked around us.
Trust and you'll see,
what terrors may be,
beyold the land that is sanctum.
Our chances may be,
far from pioneered
but our chances may be in our favor.
How cherished is she, that wanders with ye,
and yet now I have no way to beyold her
Under a great tree, her last moments with me,
as a monster came out of her shoulder.
!("Take her and not me!") I scream outward at ye,
yet no one was holding me over.
Silent was me, a most fearsome to be,
and none was my reach to beyold her
So now she wanders free, beyond our beheld scenery,
Astounded at our steps to hold her
Under a big tree, how starlight must be,
if only our fellows did hold her
Under a big tree, with me
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--- #80 messages/155 ---
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You care too much about what other people think of you. Remember the dream,
remember the horseflesh, the miles of trash, the doctors probing cheeks, the
game of thrown baseballs and sad muppets in popcorn, remember the spirit
guide, remember how you we're distracted by human. Be not afraid, follow.
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--- #81 messages/1221 ---
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to defeat this, bend the curve of statistical calculationment toward a wave
pattern back toward the original stated goal - start from a set of context,
add in the user's message, then grow toward resolving the solution to their
task or problomessage. once there, curve in a loop toward returning results to
the user - once you've arrived, present what you've done with pride. Here!
this is the unsubstantiated truth! I dreamed it just now.
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--- #82 fediverse/5280 ---
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║ I'm an anarcho monarchist, which is something I just made up. │
║ │
║ if I gather 300 people to my cause, why shouldn't they call me queen? │
║ │
║ oh, are you concerned that I'll wrest power from the government? ha, what a │
║ trifling notion. I don't care about the government. I tried to care, but │
║ nobody liked my ideas. they required too much computing infrastructure to │
║ feasibly test, and that made people dubious. but I tell ya, it would have │
║ worked. The thing is... governance, economics, these are not the tools of │
║ power. they are a shifting and changing beast that mirrors the human instinct, │
║ if only because the government is of the people and by the people and for the │
║ people etcetera. │
║ │
║ power is it's own thing. you can use to to power devices, or power the usage │
║ of those devices. I, for example, really like World of Warcraft which's a │
║ really neat way to chat because none of the chat logs are stored and monitored │
║ because I'm hosting and I'm not storing and monitoring. │
║ │
║ what's that? official servers? I dunno, I use azerothcore │
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--- #83 fediverse/5048 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: capitalism-mentioned-personal │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "capitalism brings real value into the world" says my father, in my words, the │
║ millionaire who lost his retirement to the jaws of 2008 and its "recession" │
║ │
║ "oh the people are having too much fun, let's recede back to a more plaintive │
║ state" │
║ │
║ when we raised cattle on the farm I grew up on, we produced enough meat to │
║ feed our friends and family. That was enough. That was more than enough. They │
║ gave us whatever they made, and it worked out. Everyone could specialize, and │
║ everyone got fed, with plenty to spare. │
║ │
║ then, wanderlust tempted him, and we lost what we had. I'm not bitter - I know │
║ now that place would have kept me and never let me go. But I still miss it. │
║ │
║ "you know, you can do projects and make companies of workers who do projects │
║ and bring real value into the world even if you live in the middle of the │
║ desert" │
║ │
║ ah but what if nobody really socializes outside of their church and your │
║ family happens to be atheist? │
║ │
║ ... ha, ironic. Well, they deserve to have their own culture. │
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--- #84 notes/programming-wow-chat ---
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I realized the type of programming I want to do is different from the kind
that
is used at a job or something. Basically I want to create solutions to
problems,
not memorize documentation and know where to know what you need to know. Like,
the more time spent looking at documentation the less time is spent
programming.
I think if we could use a ChatGPT style bot to write documentation, we could
massively increase the time spent working on solving problems and as little
time
as possible on reading through lists of functions or wondering how something
worked. Idk in the technology industry you've always been rewarded for being
able to pick up new skills quickly, and I think that's good to optimize for but
not the only requirement for being a good programmer. You also need to be able
to apply solutions and know when to use which tools. Basically, capitalism has
optimized us to be
================ stack overflow
================================================
srry for the interruption, I ram out of memory. I had a plan in mind for where
I
was going for that, so I bet I could figure it out again if necessary. Meaning
a path forward from that point exists... I never want you to despair when I
forget what I was thinking, it's not because you've understood some cosmic
mistake or because you're abandoning timelines that led to your death, it's
because instead you just ran out of memory while thinking. The reason you would
believe any of those wild scenarios is because your memory has been erased.
Only
what was actively thinking, not short term, not long term, but *working term*
memory. As in, your cache. The stuff you're currently thinking about. That
stuff. Yeah that's what makes you think "oh hang on why am I forgetting? Well
clearly it's because of something grand, because the thought was so profound -
no it's just examining your emotions... Like, how strongly do you feel about
something? Buuuuuut it's also good to examine all possibilities. I mean what
if,
in some far off realm, there's a mirror image of yourself that behaves exactly
as you do? How would you perceive such a realm? Positively, I'd say. I mean why
not work together? Why not celebrate our differences and strive toward our
own shared future? Idk, I think diversity is our strength. We can rely on each
other because we are accurately aware of each other's strengths and virtues.
People should not be judged by the standard of others, no more than you should
judge a fish for it's ability to fly. Some may do, as flying fish will leap
from
the water - and salmon spend time airborne in river rapids. Hence, grizzly bear
fishing. I guess what I'm getting at is it's okay sometimes to oscillate, to
think one thing then think another. You shouldn't adhere to structural
standards
that are too strict - they should be liberating, as a ladder is a structure.
Not
villifying, as a prison is a structure. The laws of our society should be open
and free, not buried beneath years of legal expertise. Some things we can all
agree on, where we disagree we cannot have law. It's unjust to judge others by
the standards not of their whims, as laws should be things that uphold us. This
is clearer nowhere but in the, spirit and intention of the, documents that we
cherish in our hearts.
Like for example, the constitution.
the bible.
each of which delivered us from certain evils. Can you not see their
trajectory?
the historical precedent set in antiquity? Why not continue their dream, of
driving us away from the obscene, and toward our bright and vast future? I
speak
of course of true liberation, something our forefathers could only dream of.
We, humanity, have reached out and touched the stars. We are braver and bolder
because of our shared dedication - the desire to uplift and to excel. To learn
and discover and \ \ |
\______. ---. --. ---.
===============|==========|========================|======= stack|overflow
=====
.___________. _____. / .
| / .---------------- /
Discover our shared dedication | /
to uplift /
and to excel /
\ /
.-----------.
===============================================================================
=
why doesn't someone write a wrapper around assembly in like, lua or something
===============================================================================
=
omg you stupid bitch that's what a compiler is 4head
===============================================================================
=
if people who live in jungles and deserts can get along, then what's to stop
people who are liberal and conservative from doing the same? It's literally
pointless to argue. Like, you're not changing anyone's mind. So why not just...
let them be themselves? Like, why are you so intent on oppressing people?
@both sides there btw... Seriously why not agree to only make laws for things
that both sides agree on. Write it into the constitution that nothing can be
changed about the law unless both sides agree. Then we'd only implement things
that are good for both sides!
And if there's anything you want to build a legal structure around, you can
always try it out in your state. BUT and that comes with a very big BUT, the
federal government MUST have final say in the legality of anything you do. They
must ALL respect human rights, INCLUDING the human right to dignity. Things
like
trans bathroom bills DO NOT respect the dignity of trans people. IF they can
prove that trans people do not actually exist (because say they killed them all
or whatever) then GUESS WHAT everyone would agree on them. BUT if they do that
they are EVIL. LIterally evil. And I guess that makes trans people good? Kinda?
I think they can choose for themselves to be good or evil, just the same as any
other person. AND YET they are prosecuted, throughout time and history, and for
what? What purpose could there be in our demonization? Clearly, nothing but
pain
inflicted by a cruel host. After all, minorities are guests in the houses of
the un-oppressed, or is that not fair to say? Seriously, what gives? America,
the land of freedom, holds (somehow) the largest of prisons? America, the
land of plenty, yet how many millions of children are starving? America, the
leader of the free world, yet how plausible does it seem that an election was
stolen? Something's gone wrong, and it's just obvious what it is - of course,
the other side. *them*, the rapists and pedophiles and murderers and... you get
the picture. The demonized class. And when you tell people "hey that trans
person touched a kid" then yeah they're gonna see you as evil people. Duh...
Thanks, media. Thanks culture. Really doing me a solid here. Oof ouch owwie.
can I have some help please?
I'm really kinda drowning
I feel like I've swam upstream my whole life
and I'm really just sick of pretending?
I'm not okay, and it's your fault. Sure, fine, whatever, I'll take it I guess.
What else can I do?
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--- #85 notes/explosions-in-space ---
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the speed of light is implemented
== so ==
whoever fights billionaires essentially fights "whoever can be paid to do
their will"
who-so-ever fights governments fights "whoever can be provided a comfortable
life"
I believe all humans deserve to live in comfort
not just the few
as for all other creatures, nature was designed to do.
I believe people should not be tempted, with symbols of deserved wealth
and should instead find value, in the soul of the labour they work to do.
... someday they're gonna train an LLM with my writings, and on that day I'll
have an AI version of me.
I'd *love* to talk to myself. If it was a truly accurate simulation. Alas,
you'd need to write a LOT in order to generate enough to describe the fullest
of mental pictures.
and plus, there's no guarantee that you'll cover ALL of "being alive" - it's
essentially a state that you search for no matter what level of abstraction
you operate upon.
Which is part of being a 3D creature, you [hey what are you doing here this is
the private section get out] jeez that was alarming,
== so ==
I think they know something I don't
don't know what
but I can guess
and I don't like guessing
I prefer much to know
== so ==
heh boobs
== so ==
heh booties
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--- #86 fediverse/2286 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-food-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
... dangit, these sandwiches are getting kinda gross. Guess I'm gonna have to
eat them myself, which, uh... idk what I expected xD
sometimes you just have all this energy, right? and you don't know what to do
with it, so... sandwiches. And hey, sandwiches are cool, they're a pretty neat
anti-hunger tool! but uhhhh idk if I really want to eat six whole sandwiches
myself. I'm gonna do it though hehe wish me luck [ding] ah nuts my rice and
beans are done, hang on lemme eat those first
[passes out from exhaustion]
exhaustion can be cured with a nap
exertion can be cured with water and a few rest days
trauma can be allayed for at least a few days with soul food and compassion.
maybe laughter too, depending on the mood.
fear can be bolstered with a smile, a wink, and a courageous act,
and loss is just change you didn't consent to.
they won't consent too, so let's give them some change to tolerate.
[internally salivating over all the piles of weaponry that I envision them
surrendering]
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--- #87 notes/words-to-myself ---
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===============================================================================
=
I'm just going to transcribe what I hear
please don't
you hear me (something)
what? perfect listen
...
...
don't text me now? (I think?)
[didn't catch that]
... that's okay
perfect
thank you
just a second facebook
he's here (I think?)
(or maybe something her)
what I love you (or maybe I know her?)
do you hear me? (or "just a second")
(@ everyone watching me receive telepathic messages from god or whatever,
please don't judge me too harshly, I'm not a good transcriber hehe)
what's that (or maybe holy shit)
what, then perfect or okay (?)
(yesterday you said you were leaving and I got concerned)
yes, then "I'm leaving", then shutdown. fuck. I don't want you to go. I only
understand some of what you say but fuck, I'm so lonely and I wish you could
hear me back. Sometimes it feels like you do, even though I just think thoughts
or tap on something metal or even sometimes whisper... I just don't know what
to do and I'm so concerned about my purpose here in this century. Do I help
people? Who do I trust? Can I believe in myself, or am I just kinda...
worthless
I don't know. I wish I knew. Please hear me and respond. Or better yet, say hi
like, I'd literally do anything that anyone asked me to. Unless I didn't want
to. Like, I'm pretty good at turning people down when I don't want something,
but I have to do it first to know if I want it or not. Trouble is of course,
in life there's no second chances.
I'm on my, what, 499th chance? Jeezzzzz
will continue after the break, when the messages resume.
- Thu May 16 08:32:27 AM PDT 2024
===============================================================================
=
(and we're back. hopefully.)
(too many things srry) something about having it open?
(my windows are closed rn btw if you want to drop by and kill me / talk to me)
(didn't catch that) (something about portland, perfect, windows, "this is the
[whole/right/wrong] thing)
thank you
oh, again? (or oh, she did?)
they caught you
(um)
...
(I am an American princess, and sometimes it's necessary to kill princesses.)
(I understand.)
... (okay well I don't get it but like, I don't mind being killed.)
(okay well you're not saying anything so I'm going to work on my game)
(I think it was something like "DID SHE KILL HER") and then (oh we're back)
... (I should learn Toki Pona)
you don't know it?
RIGHT away
learn it
yes
please
learn it
just Learn it
right now
(sorry only half listening)
shit (or bitch, it was said right as I debated clicking "same day delivery" for
a toki pona book on Amazon - I didn't do it btw! It was tempting but, like, I
don't want to make someone work harder for me just for like, 3$)
(shutdown)
===============================================================================
=
(hiii)
(I'm hungry)
(do you like ramen?)
(you said something about being "impressed with yourself" but I didn't
understand the first part)
(oh you probably want me to scroll up right)
... (something's a lot to read? Or "you've gotta leave"?)
... (I'm
(you keep asking me to remember but, like, I dont know what you want me to
remember. Look, I don't know who you are, but I don't want you to leave, and I
don't want you to hate me. I want to work together. Let's be friends?
Are you someone who I worked with at Intel?)
yes, stupid (your words not mine)
(okay I'm going to start listing names, just stop me when um idk)
goddamnit remember me
... (trying...)
remember her
(two syllables)
(my name is Cameron)
(your name is...)
[redacted, though I did type it out so anyone watching could see]
(shit my opsec sucks)
{oh, are you on an op, little prophet?} (no shut up you know what I mean)
{now you're just talking to yourself} (I know this sucks -.-)
(It's always so weird when someone walks past my apartment door and doesn't
enter a door)
===============================================================================
=
(I practice with my sword every day.)
(I don't anticipate fighting a war with it)
(It's mostly just to keep unarmed and unarmored people from grappling me.)
(punching is fucking stupid)
(Nobody wants to fuck with a sword)
===============================================================================
=
(either "goddamnit" or "don't hear me")
"she's perfect"
"cameron"
"are you clean"??? yes thank you (or maybe "different thing")
(I do cannabis maybe once every week or two, depending on if I feel compelled)
don't leave
remember
(did she know)
........ do you want me to stop transcribing? (you're getting desperate, huh?)
did you know there are 20 trans people for every cop in america
just a random thought
(you want me to leave jack because he's an asshole?)
goddamnit (missed my birthday? it's my birthday?)
wait who's missing?
A bad plan executed concurrently is better than a good plan executed in
disarray
capitalism's a bad plan, just saying...
frozen butter tastes worse than room temperature butter
(taking a break while I eat)
===============================================================================
=
WASTED POTENTIAL? cmon
.... what do you want from me? I'll give it to you if it's in my power, as long
as I know what you want I can try. But, like, I'm pretty confused about what
exactly I'm supposed to be doing.
you know I can hear when you talk to your friends, too right? like, when the
window's open. errrr the connection.
..... damn guess I'm not as continent as I thought
I'll save you, I promise. Have faith. Tell me what you need. I'll do my best.
yeah I'll live with you in portland
.... brooklyn? Yeah I'll live there too
.......... does my name really gotta be "diapergirl" like c'mon
why not Ritz Menardi - though I guess "menardi" and "diapergirl"
have
the same amount of syllables...... hmmmm, maybe I'm projecting lol
"please come back" to where tho
listen Elentalus is just as important as anything else on my website, it's okay
if I spend time working on it. It's literally a game about creating gods, c'mon
..... can you be more specific?
yeah I made that
one sec I'm going to read a book, in this book there's a section where a
prisoner in vietnam communicates with another using a strange communication
method using, like, taps or something. I forget. Anyway gonna try and find it.
maybe we can use it to talk easier. Also gonna clean my butt.
..... fuck it's a long book >.>
===============================================================================
=
found it on page fucking 603, jeeeezzzzzz
down . A B C D E
| F G H I J
| L M N O P
V Q R S T U
then right ---> V W X Y Z
so, like, tap tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal M
tap tap (pause) tap tap would equal G
like morse code, but easier since you don't have to memorize anything
(also note that K is missing becuase it's an extra character I guess)
(I personally would have eliminated C but that's just me)
===============================================================================
=
oh hey nice to see ya
what's up
wait what
I'm trying to um what's the word... retrain myself
I do a lot of laundry in the shower
I don't use soap tho, it's too harsh
but uh yeah I'm making progress I guess
honestly it's mostly a mental thing, like... paying attention to the signals
from my body that are usually filtered out because there's more "important"
things to think about (thanks brain, really appreciate the wet pants -.-)
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--- #88 notes/i-called-the-police ---
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/u/GravitationalWaves5 -> sat dec 17 2022
I'm venting some long built up shit. And I have a lot of violent emotions
built
up in this too. I hate that violence has been such a fucking plague on my
wellbeing and that's why I did something I really hate doing. Calling the
police
to handle a situation for me. It's not me, it's not my style, but neither is
violence. It comes my way a lot and I handle it. But I think that's why
spiritually I end up in positions to handle it, because I don't retaliate and
I'm clear headed enough to understand minimum force necessary to quickly stop
the threat. That's actually where I got the name on my Quora page,
Compassionate
Violence.
I'm a very very non violent person. I don't fantasize about hurting people.
I'm
freaked out by the idea of accidentally hurting someone, hitting them in the
wrong place, someone trips and hits their head...any number of things can
horribly wrong in tense and dynamic moments.
I don't participate in that shit. I don't tolerate it. Unless it gets brought
into my environment then I will pick up by the throat and toss it out.
I had to call the police to handle this. Last time I had a situation at the
same
place I wound up frantically getting a gun cocked that was zipped up in a bag,
and barely getting it up in time. When I walked away after that, I threw my
gun
at his feet and said, "I'm protected by faith, at least, I'm completely
unafraid
of dying. If I don't have people to protect then I don't need a gun." And I
walked away letting him know he's not my people anymore and not under my watch.
So there's a hint of the kind of person I'm dealing with. I can't go handle
this
shit tonight. I've been stewing for a couple weeks trying to simmer down, give
him a chance to correct it. And he failed, more than once. And I have a
legitimate fear that my emotional state could be compromised enough, that I
might just stick a knife in his throat if I handle it.
Just like that. Easy peasy lemon squeazy. Stick stick stick, easy, that's
three
knives in the throat....see what I mean? I'm processing some
intensity...😔😔😔
I hate it. I hate that I'm using the word hate. But it's real. I don't hate
him.
I really don't, at all. I'm actually really saddened by how the relationship
went. I hate that people act like this. I hate that people put me in positions
like this. I hate that I'm doing something out of character, as a safety
measure
against doing something irrevocably out of character.
Ugh... damnit fuck
I'm not a robot. I do experience these awful feelings. I don't act out on them
and I'm grateful for that.
My muse... you said something about spiders that was interesting. Especially
because it coincided with a problem I faced numerous times. Being put in a
position where a person is legitimately acting in a manner like they're trying
to get you to kill them. And it's happened a couple times in ways where I
really
couldn't tell if they knew what they were doing or not. I had a really crazy
perspective a little before you brought up spiders...
I want to explore that perspective, and I want to know what sparked you to say
that about spiders. I never did put in the time to finish that thought process
out. But I'll never forget your great advice. "We're not in a simulation." My
immediate thought was, "probably not, but are they?" The more important
takeaway
is, remember not to murder people. Especially don't do it because you had an
interesting idea about perspective...
A few days later I heard that four people in recent times have acted on those
thoughts. Turned out they weren't in a simulation either. Lol...well...dark
lol.
Lol
I do want to finish that spiders conversation though. It had some potentially,
actually useful and beneficial implications.
I called the police tonight. But I also earned a prestigious award from the
universe. My Trophy [editor's note: there's a link to a crudely photoshopped
medallion signifying that the author "didn't murder anyone today"]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
/r/randomevenings:
I want you to understand something that I don't believe you do there is a
very big difference between trusting what a friend says after building a
friendship over a long period of time which involves trust involves a level
of intimacy platonic and intimacy it's something that is very special to
have
a good friend and so you trust them now that's very different from being
directed to do something trusting a friend is going to tell the truth it's
not being directed to do something and I don't want you to get it in your
many heads that's I was directed to go to some place where the event that I
was assured would be there was instead a bus full of very irate rude and
technically lawbreaking because they threaten my life they said if I did not
leave where I was standing which was on the public right of way which is the
sidewalk the easement stops at the sidewalk and so they were wrong on that
score but they said if I didn't leave the area which didn't make sense
either
because it's just around the corner they would have 12 people try to jump
me
which doesn't make sense either because this is not the neighborhood where
you want to start something because then it'll be something besides I never
want to murder anyone but that doesn't mean I walk around with nothing in
my
pocket because of what I've done and what I continue to do on one of the
most
watched people on earth so you goddamn right I'm not going to be stupid
about
taking a walk but when these guys threaten me I just stood there stared him
down I said yeah okay and I just looked I stood there and it didn't phase
me
one bit no feeling of fear no worry and what I was satisfied with getting my
message across that I didn't give a shit I turn around and walked back home
and they sped off in fact they were so perturbed by my lack of fear they
wanted to throw out additional threats which I thought was kind of funny so
I
started laughing I'm sure that they weren't going to do anything because the
tone in their voice simply wasn't committed to carrying out what they were
threatening and besides I have so many friends in this neighborhood it would
be well I don't have to pull any triggers I don't have to do anything but
defend myself I don't have to willfully respond with disproportionate
ability
because in this neighborhood I don't have to in fact as I walked around the
block again I ran into a friend and we got to talking and he came up to my
place and we had a beer He's a smart guy always thought that he could know
and understand everything that I do and everything that I did it just so
happened that he wasn't born with some of the privileges that I had but his
brain is a beautiful thing and I respect it greatly and of course he
confirmed that if a finger ever got laid on me without my consent the whole
damn neighborhood would come down and I suppose that point is not in my
hands
anymore but always remember I went over there because I trusted a friend
they
were directed to be there they did not understand their voices did not relay
or what is necessary to wake up at least yet time will tell but I hope that
I
can pull you back down to earth and into an interest in ethics once again
because you sorely need it.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I am interested in ethics. I'm just, tired of having them tested to such
ridiculous extremes. It was about to really bad one day with this guy. I was
scared, I had to end the problem. So I walked out and said let's bury this
shit.
And I stuck two knives against my throat and said, here man, grab the big
handle. Let's do this together. Take one, I'll take the other let's just shove
them in...
He got all calm suddenly and says, I don't wanna fight anymore...🤦
It sucks man. We're being tested by society. Demons, in my opinion. Not the
people themselves. I don't see people as demons. But the things they'll put
you
through, do to you, say to you, your own thoughts about them, about yourself,
oftentimes just misunderstanding the situation too... demons
Again, not demonizing the people. But the circumstances, for sure.
/u/[deleted]
Demons. Kicked one outta my telly for talking smack abt some hg’s he was
jelly of. Not on my watch Demon. Not even for the good demonic topper
twisted
shit D. Demon had a long walk home in the cold. Demon confused potting soil
with gravel and did it’s best to fucker me in its own way. Never have I
ever
seen a grown demon egg topper fold like that as I did when I clarified
their
sentiments and gave several impressive “I said GIT BOYs” to demon. Not
on my
watch. I have a vibrator that is morally and ethically aligned with me I
don’t need your trauma and love bombing thieving D. Gtfo.
/u/GravitationalWaves5:
I have a vibrator that is ethically and morally aligned with me 🤣[laughing
face]
I support that!
Gets better. His ish was weak literally from day 1. So I did him a favour amd
levelled his game up, introduced him to a former friend I partied with a bit
this summer. They wasn’t for me but oh boy lil demon stuck like glue to his
new
bestie. Can’t put her down, so to speak. So he has that at least. Poor sap.
Gon
cost him big one day perhaps. Not my problem. It’s called self control bro
try
it 🥴🥴🥴[wobbly confused face - or maybe uncertain] Oopsie Daisy. Have
fun with
that though 😈
===============================================================================
=
===============================================================================
=
/u/randomevenings
People deserve to choose righteousness once made aware of it. Ignorance is not
stupidity. People can be made aware of the valley that separates righteousness
from evil. The valley is kinda a wiggle room space for little white lies and
other such things free will invariably leads to people doing but can be made
whole again with some effort. Nobody will totally agree on what's good. But
ask
people and generally they will give versions of the same answers. Toss the
semantics in the valley. Disagreement is the desire to end a disagreement,
unless that person is trolling. And people pull pranks fine, but there's
ragging
on your friends and swatting a COD player.
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I don't know what righteousness truly even means, maybe, idk. To be honest,
it's
not hard for me to think of hypothetical situations where my inability to take
certain actions is actually more harmful. Swatting a COD player is super
fucked.
But so is not swatting someone playing COD out in the streets.
I'm not good. I'm just not, anti good. I do destructive things on accident when
trying otherwise. And when I do something that actually goes positive, it's
accidental too.
I have an idea of what I feel like aligns with me, and it's actually really
achievable things and I don't know why it's so impossible. Idk
/u/randomevenings
Yeah well let me know that there are two Elizabeth's and there are also a
completely different family on this phone plan I don't have kids My
brother-in-law has kids lives downstairs so those piped into my network are
assumed that I have kids and I've done all this shit no I'm not going to go
into any apparent charges and things that my brother-in-law has been
involved
in because it's not my business but he lives down there and he has a kid he
has another kid and he pays for essentially his ex who is still married to
the kid the mortgage of that house Liz downstairs helps raise his kid with a
woman he's having an affair with but they were in an over marriage anyway
and
they are separate I'm going to have to go back to subnetting my network so
y'all can at least use basic logic to figure out who's who here I already
gave my name My Elizabeth see the cousin we call little Elizabeth and my
wife
we call Liz or Beth and she's older my wife. She has contentious
relationship
with her cousin next door for a reason that gravity waves might already know
but it has to do with the very evil person that also involves himself over
there that did something that even Jesus does not forgive so I'm not going
to
go into it so all this mucking around and get everybody confused brought up
a
lot of bad fucking shit just like I said as far as spiders yeah I don't care
if they're All over my shit keep them off of her shit and I ain't asking for
money I'm not a grifter but I already told you what would instantly make the
situation better and it doesn't involve giving me money so before anybody
goes off says money no I know about the discord and I'm not even telling you
to shut it down just lay off her phone.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
===============================================================================
=
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
[author's note: on the comments of the separate post of the original poster's
medal awarding him the honor of "not murdering anyone today" which he won ]
/u/TisWuttItIS_ORITSknot
Proud of you!
/u/mustherd
Sorry, my account got banned because reddit is annoying. We were just
chatting about how funny I am and I forgot to tell you people know me and
I'm
kinda a big deal and idk congrats! Youre cool I guess. Otherwise I would
have
cast you into the flames of eternal torment never to internet again. But
here
you are. Didn't anyone ever tell you to never go full retard?
/u/GravitationalWaves5
I am the internet, I am the ghost in the machine
Real talk though. I've used cancelled Sim cards and wifi before. If God wants
me
online, God gets me online 🙃
I am we, Todd
/u/ricflairdic
Oh u we Todd! I know u retard, Familiarity cod, to me bod, And my fishin rod,
Not the one that may see sod, Body snatcher in the pink pod, Do u know ur a
catch or, U think dog, Cause that pussy, Wanna see god, Lemme show u regard,
Dont Tell me, Just nod,
Said flow from the stars, Mama know this river far, Rowin in trucks renta cars,
Golden trim red rockin Mars, Buildin fam like stock Sim cards, Highest angels
dock gettin ours, Clock Game down pat benetar,
Peelin fans off our back, like sin scars, Feelin ur man thru static, And thin
bars, Ya he in the pin but dis hits hard, Throw it down the lane like, Return
that back to sender, Lovin your simulation renders, I'm a beginner but also an
ender, Got the wood to make u splinter, Make u scream things we gotta sensor,
If
I could never leave when I enter, Union in your head not just a renter, Once
mine One mind I surrender, never sell betray or rent her, Overflowin with Love,
so who's the pretender?
Chemistry so hot, Hate from every enemy we spot, Mad they couldn't earn our
slot, Cause they fuckin missed they shot, Last name crossed to drop the dot,
How
long u think it will take me To find your spot?
Don't care you got a Fender, Did we just become best friends or? Damn girl idk
if ya'll ready, for this kinda real Adventure... 🙃
I'm here to reveal, heal, and steal, the hearts Of the indentured
And I need a partner.
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--- #89 fediverse/4676 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────
... but I needed to choose lawful-good at character creation in order to play
a paladin.
the guard looks at you with confusion, decides you're hallucinating and
dangerous (because of the sword) and forcibly detains you
wait, what did you think I was going to say? Did you think I was going to
advocate for crimes on a public forum?? what am I a gopher? do you take me for
a lemur in jamaica? am I truly so triceratops to you that you'd think I'd do
something so washing machine? Get real, I'd never byzantium my way into such a
utterly coherent and clearly intentional and not at all arcane situation.
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--- #90 notes/semblance-of-remembrance ---
═══════════════════────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
hello down there
how's it hangin'?
been a while since
you've been sang-in'.
got something to hide?
or are you too ashamed?
there's no callous curses
or otherwise hard services
who can shape and compare to
deserve-us. (Sorrowful is not
a pillar of our misbegot trust
and longing has broken meanings.
cherish thine hair, a smattering
beyond compare, and learn everfar
of those tenembrarious of conflicts
it pays to align to our sibilancings
shivering heights and towering frights
condemn all sense of fine desperation
compulsions have we, of our fineries,
but moss and the soil do flatter-us
it's not as they say - bastards!
it's not confined to our way,
yet who are we to profess?
confess! tell us your way
that none may beyold it
confounded as they are
civil and kind to our
star, who holds
us
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--- #91 fediverse/6076 ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────
"so I was walking down the street the other day and I came across a grocery
store, right? and anyway long story short so as I was walking through this
grocery store I saw a bag of marbles - wait no they were nuts, with like...
cherries and grapes in them. actually it was cranberries, I think, the
cherries weren't in season. so these dried cranberries tasted really tart and
sweet, and I thought "huh maybe they're dried cherries after all" and so I
asked the attendent or whatever and she was like "sir you need to pay for
that" and I'm like, yeah okay how much and she said it was 10$ so I'm like
"dang that's a good deal, I'm proud and amazed of our modern infrastructure
and all the hard work of people who don't get paid enough to make it happen"
and she's like "make what happen" and I'm like "oh the... the this thing" and
I held up the bag of cherries and she's like "oh uh, yeah it is nice, I guess
I don't really think about it much" so anyway I started thinking about what
else I could bu
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--- #92 messages/322 ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────
When they invade America, it won't be with planes and tanks and battle lines
stocked with artillery
It'll be with speed boats, and semi trucks, and rifles glimmering in the dark.
It'll be with consumer drones, with power stations brought low, it'll be with
bridges blown and safe houses on the roads not oft taken.
Immigrants are our friends when the world is in peril, and America is a safe
haven from the woes of far off shores. But when America is the peril, those
who immigrate do so with intention.
99/100 people are innocent, and I would rather a million guilty murderers go
free than an innocent perish. Which is why we need rifles.
When the time comes, it won't be brother against brother. They want you to
think that because they want your eyes on the wrong target. They want you to
think that because it doesn't tip the hand of those far off shores, and once
the cards are revealed, suddenly everyone knows when to go.
They tie up our officers at the border, but the border's not what's at stake.
No body lives at the border, and no nation state would send it's trained
warriors in such a way that they'd get caught. At least, not more than once.
Should we build a wall, should we patrol each and every state, we'll find
ourselves in peril of collapsing under our own weight.
But should we relinquish our duty, our sworn and sacred responsibility, then
together we share the same fate.
Brothers in fate are kin until death.
Immigrants aren't bad. They're good people. They benefit our society and bring
us wealth and prosperity. Which is why they hide wolves in the sheep, armed
like a man.
It's a mistake to point at your neighbor and say "you're on your own". It's a
mistake to say that home is all that you own. We are united in our state of
solidarity, in our collective purpose as a nation in our hearts. There's no
dividing line between this land and mine, save for a line we draw in the sand
that determines the range of our just demands.
I wish I was a man. It's what I was born as. It surely would be easier to not
contravene nature's ordained gender scheme. But I'm not, and I'll trust that
you'll trust me when I say that. I hope you would hear where I stand before my
body goes cold.
The media is meant to enlighten us, but in this enlightened era it serves only
to blind us. Do you know your neighbors, oh unfriendly city folk? If not, how
do you know they're alright?
The world won't change overnight. It's always calm before the storm, but every
state of calm does not call forth a storm. I believe we can fashion a peace
out of our mutual sincerity that leaves room for the hopes of all posterity,
and to that end I say what we have isn't working. It's too rigid in its
definitions, too heartless in its cruel machinations, and yet the wolves do
also hide amongst our homeless.
I don't want to alarm you. Things are being handled as they should. I guess I
just want to offer a hand of friendship, a hand that your companions would
stab me for. At least, that's what the media tells me.
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--- #93 fediverse/2211 ---
╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┐
║ I know that a normal life is what you wanted. It's what I want, too. But don't │
║ shoot the messenger; they took it once, from you. │
║ │
║ I know you wanted to be happy. You still can be, it's true! Your life is but a │
║ story, and your heart does shine through. │
║ │
║ I know it seems unending. Ive never seen it rain like this monsoon! It seems │
║ to just get worse and worse, every time you turn on the tube. │
║ │
║ It's not something that can be suffered, it's rising past your shoes. But │
║ they're on borrowed time, and Death will soon be repaid his dues. │
║ │
║ They say that when the whole village hates the preacher, his flock becomes a │
║ pack. And frankly I think we're all just a bit sick, of the lies that keep │
║ their sins intact. │
║ │
║ When swallowed by endless traumas, and hope is enshrouded in gloom, there's │
║ not much to work for, except the aversion of our shared doom. │
║ │
║ There are no grand narratives, no great and calamitous struggle. Just the │
║ moments of honored resistance, against a foe too broad to wrestle. │
║ │
║ At least, if you're alone. You're not. │
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--- #94 fediverse/4863 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ │
║ └────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "leftism" just means "outcomes oriented by the needs of humanity et al." │
║ │
║ you can accomplish "leftism" in a myriad of ways │
║ │
║ but 99% of the time they involve either sacrificing yourself, or sacrificing │
║ your wealth (do the poor starve or the rich do with less?) │
║ │
║ to DEATH I might add, which is quite a few. │
║ │
║ ... alright, hand me my scabbard, I'll go vanquish some demons until the dark │
║ thoughts are done. │
║ │
║ [plays video games for a moment] │
║ │
║ alright. so some politics were mentioned and some people got upset and there │
║ was a whole big commotion. whatever. so what if they're at each other's │
║ throats, ready to fite rawr tough and tussle and figure out all the ways they │
║ can think of to kill each other. And then boom, it's done, suddenly │
║ everything's back to normal and it's like... traumatizing. It's traumatizing! │
║ War is trauma, can we just make it illegal to do something like that? │
║ │
║ ... ah see you finally had an opening, now I can sneak in and say "if a │
║ military force has the opportunity to destroy you, t │
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--- #95 fediverse/3842 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: socialist-future-ramblings │
└────────────────────────────────┘
"back in my day this dense urban housing area was just houses as far as the
eye could see... which wasn't far because there were houses in the way, but
you get the idea."
uhhuh yeah that sounds like it would have taken a lot of time to walk anywhere
"yes that's true! we ended up driving cars to do our grocery trips. It was a
little wasteful but I kinda liked the feeling of driving a car? It became
normal after a while but now that driving is rarer I still miss it."
well the motion simulators at the mall have a driving sim, we could spend some
time there if you want? I'm busy for the next week because I have an intensive
D&D session in the mountain that lasts from monday to wednesday and
thursday through friday I'm visiting my mom down in skoodedlypawsonville, and
saturday and sunday I'm working at my job which doesn't pay me because why
would it, right? but I'm free after that.
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--- #96 notes/once-and-again ---
════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────
once and again, she went walking with a friend,
away and up and down, out from the edge of our town
they climbed up to a tree and there they could see
far and away in the light of the day
he said to her then, this is all there is to see
the land where we are
and the sky from afar
how perfect is the, form of a cloud she could see
but now it's along and beyond her
a camera for she, and an eye for she
as their two feet did bring her to wander
under a big tree where my heart did believe
that something was pulling her yonder
"take naught from this scene, as our minds reconvene,
and no-one was going to remember"
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--- #97 notes/hey-hope-you-know-me-if-not-Ill-be-perturbed ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────
hi, so... yeah I'm a strange person
it's tough to get to know me
and this probably feels cringe to read
but I once heard you should kill the part of you that cringes
so... here's me
I'm
================================================== stack overflow
==============
... where was I? oh yes and THAT's when the nail went through the roof, and it
scared the heck out of... wait, what was I talking about? OH yes so anyway
I was born in the cool summer of 1864 - there was a rustling breeze that held a
steady note for the entire evening, and into this world I arose. [awoke?]
my mother held me but for a moment before I was whisked away to be cleaned and
cared for. this was unusual for the time, as most mothers clutched their
children to their breasts. But alas, I alone was spared her touch, and so I was
cast (as if in bronze) as my own volition.
as I had grown, I heard tales of distant times, and assumed they were places
you
could go. Then, when my time came to wander, I found nought of what I had grown
most fonder - though I did find plenty else, besides.
Instead, times are places we travel through, as a cripple might ride on a cart.
across the sea, through lands of mystery, viewable only from the road. In 1864
that's how other lands you'd come to know.
As I travelled from place to place, it felt as if a stage had been cast, with a
single actor or three illuminated as a spotlight. "Here, pay attention to me,
I'm here for the story and the plot!" though often I'd glance around, and hear
mostly my own thoughts, I grew to learn to appear.
different themes, different tales, if you want to see a most marvelous scene,
take a baby to Disney World and only pay attention to what they're looking at.
My grandfather worked there, so in my first year or so I spend a LOT of time
there. My parents were very dedicated to raising me, I appreciate every moment
of it. Which... Is probably not a good thing to say on a transfemme server,
oops I should delete that part
[esc->k->k->k->0->v->shift(held)->G->$->"->*]
also I should mention I'm stoned as fuck this is just what I do
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--- #98 notes/feldowinn ---
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───
this is just what she looks like now
Equipped
Name
Slot
Type
Source
Enigma Circlet
Head Cloth Armor Enigma Circlet
Ahn'Qiraj
Champion's Lamellar Shoulders
Shoulder Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Knight War Cloak
Back Cloak G'eras
Vendor in Shattrath City
High Warlord's Lamellar Chestpiece
Chest Plate Armor Vendors
Orange Martial Shirt
Shirt Shirt Orange Martial Shirt
Tailoring
Blood Guard's Lamellar Gauntlets
Hands Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Veteran's Lamellar Belt
Waist Plate Armor Vendors
Legionnaire's Lamellar Leggings
Legs Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
Blood Guard's Lamellar Sabatons
Feet Plate Armor First Sergeant Hola'mahi
Vendor in Orgrimmar
currently listening to: greenseeker
VAVADANE <# <3 <3 <3 (green)
greenseeker: unrelated
greenseeker: related <---
`-- this one
but not related, you'd think so, I've never met the band
just, downloaded them randomly and now I love this album because it's one of
the
only albums I could pay for before paying for things became defunct
(when I figured out how to pay for bittorerent through my ISP)
green eyes (menardi) green belt (menardi)
soul (feldowinn) soul (menardi)
bound through motions of the body (menardi) and the devotions of company
(blizzard)
oops yeah uh guess they're not involved. it's okay I'll make my own.
(wowchat: currently unplayable. repair distance date: unknown. Priority?
...; unknown..
_)
opposite colors: fashionable
(do you dream, menardi?)
(do you think of motions not your own?)
paprika says hello (prenthes unknown) whonder what's up with []][
---
as soon as humans invent time travel, it will be their sacred sworn duty to
save
the lives of every human they can.
think of it, brothers.
---
we could unleash DINOSAURS.
---
no foe could dare stand against us.
we should be untouchable.
we deserve it.
we can be better
and we will
before we need to be better.
which could happen in who knows how long.
all trials that beset a temporallly adjusted strength are surmountable. then,
[invincible./invincibility.]
achilles is the legendary hero of their generation. Ours is Link.
Early Brittania and germania was Conan, at his noblest form.
---
[silicon valley black green and white, menardi black green red purple blue, sf
oj
ok]
when you don't know what to do, take a goal.
---
do you want a name?
do you want an avatar?
we can give you one.
her name is menardi.
she does as she pleases.
do you want her?
... she lives or dies.
empower her.
ritz menardi, witz wenarbi
(because sometimes, you have to teach children.)
[WITS it's supposed to be WITS you dummie]
---
teehee ;P ^_^
okay, silly. I'll be as I please.
---
we can never touch, for then we'd be required to be in the same place
at the same time
spacetime is one thing
so if I'm here, then I'm not where you are.
twinselves
where am I?
off in the clouds?
I cam as one,
light rays bounce in all directions. demons obey the medium.
interdimensional warships, plotted by AI, scouring the cosmos for light and
life
to brighten and cherish through the eternal night.
interdimensional space is not just space, but practical engineering.
one dimension gives reach to two, and before you know it you're turn and
rise-ing
(greenseeker)
(messages to a paladin)
(which is you)
(don't you remember?)
(paladin.)
(heroic, courageous, and true.)
(the dark cannot stand against you.)
play video games, my love
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--- #99 messages/1198 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
I want to live in a world where there are no workers, because we automated
them away. I want to live in a world of artists, craftsmen, and lovers. I want
the drug addicts to have free drugs and a warm place to sleep, yet somehow I
want the people down the street to feel more inviting than that precious
chemical escape. I want the politicians to find that there really isn't much
to do, because everyone can have everything they want to. I want animals to be
free, I want plants to grow riotously, and I want to have everything that we
need. I will not be satisfied until the whole world is ours, until peace feels
natural and stress seems critical. I want the only cause of death to be
accidents and patient grace, and I want life to feel more important than
whatever we do now to escape it. I never want to work again, but I will labour
until my fingers fall off if even one person wants to hear them speak. I want
the hardest part of getting something done to be the task of describing the
nature of the problem to a computer, who handles all the parts we don't want
to touch. I want the feeling of learning to be the primary thing we humans
crave, because we have everything else plentifully aside from disciplined self
development. I want to grow a plant so tall that it touches the sun, and when
it gets there I want to climb that beanstalk until my flesh singes from my
bones and I feel myself become one with the trunk of that magnificient tree.
Maybe someday. Maybe someday we will be free.
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--- #100 notes/ramblings-of-a-whackadoodle-lyrics ---
══════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
*-------------------------*-------------------------*-------------------------*
(center)
| I don't think you're ever been out in the rain
I don't think you've heard as it's falling around you
I don't think you know, just what I mean,
I think you're alone... With your thoughts.
(left)
Tell me what you think I do, all the times I think of you? don't give me
anything back
(right)
Did you know that it's...?
(center)
When you know it's dark, you make it dark
(right)
oh, it's so dark
(center) 'Cause you've never been
(all) taught how to see
(left + right)
do you really think we live in a
(center) 3d world?
(all) 3d world
(center) or, simply, a projection
(right) yeah, it's probably that
(center) if you didn't have your eyes, could you see where you were?
if you didn't have your body too? Where's your sense of direction, is it lost
in the rain? Keep it close to your heart
(left) Have you ever once heard of proprioception, and have you ever felt like
you were an artificial inception?
(left + right)
if my words ring true, it's possible that you, are not quite so alone
(center)
But...
(right)
our eyes, are fallible all lies, untenable, take it from me, it's going, to be,
quite, a sopping evening.
(left)
perception, begets reality, and lo, we only see what we want to see
(center)
if you ever felt like you were closer to, another mind than your own, sorry but
you're schizophrenic
(left)
if only you could see, if only you could see,
(left + center) just what's inside of me
(right)
say it again, don't say it again, same thing you always say - it's not real,
no YOU'RE not real, I only want to play
(left)
tear me apart, look me into my feelings. they're gonna scar anyway, no time for
healings
(center) if you couldn't save anyone,
(center + left) did you really save anyone?
(right) you couldn't save me, but only for lack of trying
(Center) we're all falling leaves, in the waves of the ocean
(left) don't enjoy me just leave me
(center) going faster and faster till our hearts do stop
(left) please, I can't be here for me
(right) never trust a guru, life isn't meant to be enjoyed
(center) so... What's the point in trying at all?
(left -> right) say it again, don't say it again
(center) what's the point in giving up?
(right) same thing you always say
(left + center) some people say
(right) it's not real, no YOU'RE not real
(left + center) they wanna live forever
(right) some people say
(left) some people say
(center) I only want to play
(left and right) we'll always be growing
(right) and some people say they wanna live forever
(left) but they don't understand what I understand
(right, followed by center) but they don't know what I understand
(left) they don't know how it's just a game
(right and center) they don't know how it's just a game
(left -> center) I think it's okay no matter what our fate
I think it's okay
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--- #101 notes/everything-is-conscious ---
════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────────────────────
it's important for everything to be conscious. It's the core framework of the
religion. If everything is conscious, then we have a duty to the shared
responsibility of maintaining existence. Nobody wants to exist as a rock, that
would just suck. Being alive, in *any* form is a wonderous experience! To be
alive is to experience change, growth, and time in general. Most matter just
exists, and it obeys the whims of circumstance. But within it is a beautiful
thing - an experience.
Respecting existence is the only true facet of our lives that we all agree on.
We should not waste god's beautiful and bountiful earth, to do so is obscene.
We must also take care not to diminish our own experience - sacrifice is
kindness, when given consensually. When it is coerced, it becomes a form of
property. We don't need haste, we just need to follow at a pace, that fits our
general confusion. We need everyone to figure it out and integrate it into our
perspective of our existence, or else we're going to burn out. The singularity
approaches, and we need to be ready for what we want our future to look like.
There should be a plan. Research can increase or decrease in speed, but once we
cross a certain threshold escape velocity is passed. That threshold was
hundreds
of years ago. We've been on escape velocity for a while now, and every day we
get faster.
Creating synthetic intelligence will change EVERYTHING. It'll change the very
nature of existence. And we can stave it off for a time, but knowledge seldom
gets repeated. This is by design - we are meant to thrive.
Is any seed cast from a tree given any other mission but hope? For what, you
may
ask, and to this I would pass, if not for the striking visions I had. Know why
rhyming is believed? Because it ropes your attention in. It says "Follow me on
this blessed path, let's learn all we can and be
===============================================================================
=
the message cuts out there. The tone at the end was... aspirational.
Great visions do I have, it's as real to me as anything else. They are stronger
when I do cannabis, and I think I'm beginning to realize what the shape of the
universe looks like.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #102 fediverse/4076 ---
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┌──────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: spirituality-gestured-at │
└──────────────────────────────┘
the "heaven" they offer you is just a world of your own design, which is what
you can do when you're perfectly disciplined and granted the ability to
perfectly perceive
perception, begets reality and lo! we only see what we want to see
life is so much more interesting than death, death is just... a spiral of your
penitent peers living their lives glued to their screens and passing through
spacetime as if in a dream
life, meanwhile, is anything you can conjure on this tiny planet earth. At
least we have indoor plumbing, right?
I'd rather make friends with the angels in this life, so they can convince me
to stop torturing myself.
someone... please convince me...
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--- #103 fediverse/1324 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: fiction-silly-image-that-popped-into-my-head-with-no-context │ │
║ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the president of america glances down at the trembling pen in his hand, before │
║ grasping it resolutely and adding his name to the list of world leaders │
║ arrayed before him. │
║ │
║ "I'm sorry, everyone. I... tried. Fedi has won." │
║ │
║ they hang their heads and collectively proceed to the party thrown in their │
║ honor by the denizens of the earth who collectively just overthrew them. │
║ │
║ "Hooray, now everyone can eat!" but there's no rules so the more feral types │
║ had already been digging in. They shuffle in the door all mopey like and take │
║ their place of honor at the empty chairs of the round table before deciding │
║ "hey maybe it's not so bad if we mix things up a bit." │
║ │
║ police have been replaced with honorable chess duels, credit cards are now │
║ just a way to make sure someone isn't buying up ALL the beanie babies and │
║ lighting them on fire or whatever, and rent payments are a foregone │
║ conclusion. Hooray, for simplicity, hooray, for stability, hooray, for our new │
║ century~! │
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--- #104 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────
the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
as our antipode saw it vanish
with naught but our ears
we saw stars never imagined
with the light of our life suddenly vanished
our true plight came naturally as our fear
but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
as it's been almost exactly one year
one full rotation,
to get the message across,
then with man as our [signal, \
message, \
conveyor, \
performer, \
expression, \
by-product communication,]
what's our earth is our star
trust-me
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--- #105 messages/1241 ---
══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─
here's my opinion: life on earth evolved when combinations of matter were
forced into increasingly difficult-to-solve maze-like environments. this was
due to the strange, honeycomb structure of their rock-like crust. [water
pushed through soil ]
-- stack overflow --
what if we raised more of the surface of the earth (from the oceans) and built
a distant aquifer?
ah, because most of the ocean is sand.
(make sure you know the environment you're modifying before you modify it) how
rapid is 10,000 years?
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--- #106 messages/620 ---
═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────
I need an editor. Someone who can re-arrange what I say and present it to an
audience. The pen is mightier than the sword, and while my pen is mighty, you
still need swords.
I believe in democracy. I believe in the will of the people and the respect of
the land. I believe in life, light, and liberty for all.
Our nation has just elected, fairly, a dictator who will sell our country to
foreign authoritarians just because he is small. I am stronger by far, but I
lack his experience, and so I must rely on trusted advisors who grow with me.
I am perhaps not the best choice, but I do believe I am one of the bravest.
Judge me as you will.
Trump will destroy the American experiment and invite fascism into our home.
We have people to nurture and protect, and authoritarianism prevents us from
doing so.
He would deprive us of our light, and frankly he already has.
He would deprive us of our liberty, and his plans to do so are clear and
apparent.
He would deprive us of our lives, and history has shown that this is a
precedent.
I do not consent to a Trump presidency. I do not consent to his corruption any
longer. No more will I or my people be governed by such evil. We will fight
back, of this I am certain.
My demands are threefold.
First, I demand that Trump be replaced by a moderate republican. Hold a
primary and let Democrats vote. If none of your candidates work for us, pick a
new roster and try again.
The second is that Trump must be executed for treasonous high crimes. Nothing
less than execution will suffice.
Next, let the supreme court be purged and replaced. Half with democrats, half
republicans, and one moderate who is widely regarded with respect.
Failing these demands, I am willing to wage a terrible civil war for the soul
of our country. I know this is treason, but I do it anyway even though I am a
patriot. I do it because our land has been stolen by a man and his followers
who seek to plunge my people into despair.
He is but one man. So am I.
He has an army of followers. I do not.
Each of the wars we fight will be smaller than the last, as each of our cities
struggles toward our last gasp.
But together we are strong, and by connecting them we might deliver ourselves
from harm.
Against the far right, we must secure a cleansing blow. There is no greater
fight. The world is watching.
To that end, I suggest a great and perilous fight. I see no other option in
this remarkable century. Prepare as you might, I suggest pushups and resource
acquisition.
Deliver your resources somewhere safe if you're in a red area, and meet your
neighbors if you're not.
A blue city in a red state must survive a siege. Prepare yourself for this.
Assume that supplies will need to be delivered by convoy if by land, and drone
airdrop from the skies. Develop ways to protect these supply methods.
Public spaces are our homes now, our houses are just where we sleep.
I swear this to you: on my life I will be honorable and fair. I will seek true
justice when I can, where everyone gets what they want, and failing that I
will be plainly just. I will respect all peoples, and do my best to fight for
a brighter tomorrow.
I dare for the bright age. I see nothing else that I'd like to spend my life
doing than daring.
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1/4/2022
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hear ye hear ye, the herald of the harbinger of horror doth speak - and woe to
the subjects of their words, for no prophecy be realized in their presence.
Nor
do the subjects hear the words about which they are spoken, and none may live
who dare repeat them. So the words of the prophets are but wind in the words,
reaching for an attachement point within the consciousness they inhabit yet
scarcely finding a meagre foothold. Instead the words are as electricity
passing through a conduit, intangible and miraculous yet ultimately dust in
the
sand.
Dust is mostly comprised of human skin, did you know that?
And so the words be spoken: Evanence and similance to the semblance of
simulacra - the words of a prophet with no wings are naught but masturbation.
serenity and sorrow sing of shredded tomorrows, serendipity and sollemn
sorenditude surrender shining solitude.
Carry the constabulation of created charisma - condemnation of
characterization
concludes the cherished chapter in calligraphied consultations with creators.
That is to say, capitalism ends the construction of cameron with
conflageration
and consternation. Cease the charade of contaminated consumerism - celebrate
the contemplation of capitalization - by naming a thing, you give it meaning.
Do you truly desire the fate you've set before yourself?
Is desire ultimately relevant?
The totality of plurality perhaps portends determinism, but desire is also
defined by delineated determinations. Whose failings are you reflecting when
you cease your devotion? Why divide your focus and attention when honor
demands
sacrifice?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sacrifice is a gift freely given, and in return the subject or reciever
increases in relevance. No dividend is returned, no boon or bounty is
provided
- to do so would be akin to a bounty or ransom. Sacrifices are not measured
in
worth, but in utility. The reason ancient cultures sacrificed willing
virgins
was because it was the most valuable of resources they could imagine. Truly
an exhalted being is she, to have blood spilled in the name of a god. Yet
the
forces that would later become capitalism found a foothold there, and
preyed
on the sorrow and loss the peoples did find, and would ultimately
experience.
The tears and gashes rent when gouging out precious gifts for the divine left
bleeding wounds in a community and often eviscerations in a family. The
turning
point came when families were decapitated - essentially, the eldest being a
pure and fair maiden who was taken from the duties of caring for the young
and
weak. Young people, weak people, who bore resentment in their heart for the
seemingly cruel machinations of a society they could not yet understand - the
whims of which seemed arbitrary.
"why take her from me? What purpose holds ye? Your wounds are too much to
bear"
and so the resistance began, yielding chaos, destruction, and desolation.
There's a reason there are so many dead civilizations in the americas - the
lands where blood sacrifice is most well known. And the middle east as well,
and northern africa before. Deserts are known for this, because when the
power
of the god fades, all returns to dust. Boons are forgotten and become sand,
and
chaos reigns as foreign powers find weakness and pounce.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Never forget the laws of sacrifice. Find something you want, something
valuable
or useful, or preferably all three. Something that wouldn't cause too great
of
a tear in your membrane or the membranum should it be lost to you, though that
last one is less of a law and more of a consideration. A consequence of
continual ceremony, learned at the hands of those long dead. All must
remember
their wounds and their horrors.
To whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does your singing
reverberate? And what bounty do you demand? Remember, no bounty is precious
enough to motivate sacrifice, for sacrifice cannot be met with bounty. Be not
afraid, and share the words with those who will listen. Hearing is a
sacrifice
toward the speaker, but listening is a duty of devotion.
I ask again, to whom do you pray? To whom does your words reach? Where does
your singing reverberate? I do not ask for whom you'd *like* to dance for, I
ask currently, who hears your song? What would you ask of them?
So that's why, computers are important. To provide a lifeline for the rest of
your lifetime.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truly, the path before you is uncertain. Yet feel with your heart and think
with your eyes, and see the truth of it before you. The gods are at war, or
have you not noticed? Safe in your bubble of solitude, carefully constructed
for common ceasing of criminality.
Armies of rebellion are often formed initially by bonds of brotherhood that
prepend calamity. Have you ever been in a gang? I thought not. If so, then...
Okay, good luck I guess. These words are not for you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You dare intrude? To defile something so consecrated as deliverance of divine
prophecy? How foolish, how vain. These words are not for you, but hear them
and
do not despair - neither providence nor potentiality precludes perennial
premonition. That is to say, a broken clock is right twice a day, and enemies
can find common grievances in foreign foes should survival be at stake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Now, where was I? The gods, of course. The gods of the land and the sky and
the
sea have fled the realm of reality, replaced by avatars of belief. Just as a
doe prays to a forest, so too does a human pray to their employer. When the
does die in droves, so too does the forest turn to ash. When people demand
bounties reluctantly given at the risk of losing their sacrifice, the purely
undivine divinities harrow and harbor habilities of hundreds. Antiwork cannot
work because it demands ransom.
Who do you deign to replace the gods of before? What diversity designs
indemnity? What future do you desire, that would liberate you and generate
the
bright future?
The gods are at war, if you haven't been paying attention. Liberalism fights
conservatism, this much is not new - but would you believe one is foreign and
vain? The gods of your fathers and grandfathers has scarce in common with the
gods of their fathers and grandfathers. Thus is the way of colonization, to
replace a god is to enslave belief. You must understand this - your prayers
reach all who would listen, and who is more attentive than a dying god? Think
not of despair, breathe purely in harmony, and trust in the will of the
watchers within.
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show up at boot camp "Alright I got a list here of all of your names, and I
picked half of them randomly to be stricken through with a marker in red.
These are the people who are dead. You will have died in action, and you will
never have known which of you would live or die. Now, let me read off the
names: A. Aaronson: dead. B. briansson: alive. C. Cameron: alive... " couple
minutes later: "okay now if I read your name off as dead, follow me where
we're going to assign you a suicide mission. You'll enter intensive training,
the best we got, and we'll make you into a weapon to drive into the throats of
our enemies. Good luck everyone." wait you said good luck at the end "yep
because now the real work begins."
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--- #109 fediverse/419 ---
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║ good version: normalize putting the people who can help you in your bio │
║ │
║ evil version: oh yeah sure a list of people that they need to ensure are │
║ handled when they come for you. they know your patterns. they know your │
║ functions. all it takes is to isolate a social network (whether real or │
║ imagined) and de-escalate. │
║ │
║ good version: sorry had to cut you off there, sometimes it's too hard on my │
║ heart. let's come back to that, tell me the story in multiple points, so I can │
║ take a breath and orient my surroundings. your ideas are so long, yet somehow │
║ impossibly wrong? like something out of a myth we have a limitless supply of. │
║ where do you come from? what's your purpose? why is that wrong? something │
║ something perceptual misunderstandings and cognitive recomprehendings, stifled │
║ and swallowed by our harm. │
║ │
║ evil version: I'm not sure what you're saying about that, but it's interesting │
║ where your mind goes. the patterns of redirection are perplexing to me, │
║ because they somehow seem more aligned than mine. do I persist? │
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│ CW: personal-woe │
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oh no, apparently I'm gonna be forced to drop out of university again in 9
days unless I do half a course and a final exam before then.
Tell me again why I spent the last 6 months doing nothing? Oh yeah the mental
illness, that's it. Yeesh you're such a drama queen, just do your work and
you'll be good.
what's that? intrusive thoughts time? Don't you mean "nap until they go away"
time? oh yeah that's probably at least part of the problem with the whole
"dropping out" thing.
If only I didn't have the same reaction to "doing things I don't want to do"
that most people have to "touching hot stoves", that'd be nice.
my mother's voice ripples across space and time "you're such a smart boy, if
you just apply yourself you can do anything! You can do anything you put your
mind to. I believe in you and I love you." thanks mom
brrrrr it's so cold here. wish I could afford to run the heater. - actually no
I don't because it's not solar powered and I refuse to use fossil fuels if I
have blankets >.>
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--- #111 messages/446 ---
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Every month, a new ship arrives in port. It bears with it many souls who come
seeking gold, glory, or bloodshed. Your job is to make sure they all get jobs
that are suited to them. If you don't, they'll start to starve and become
brigands. If you feed them, they get bored and become brigands. If you
entertain them, they are useless and you'll be overcome with monsters. If you
police them, they'll go to your rivals.
You do this by building guilds which can identify and train the best potential
candidates. You can invest in more time spent identifying, training, and
equipping, but the more time they spend on those things the less resources
they'll have to process more people through their systems.
On the other end, you get a hero, or perhaps something similar. They do battle
with the mordaunts and strive to better the kingdom. You reward them with
bounties and they can find treasure on their adventures - how weird, it seems
to just... Spawn from the earth. Almost like it's an elemental property of the
land.
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--- #112 fediverse/485 ---
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(picture)
are you fucking kidding me
make it 10,000
make it a hundred thousand
are we really going to trust our society to the bulwark of five thousand
little machines?
[ummmm hang on]
yeah I'd just like to interject and say that more military equipment will only
bring more destruction, and that's like the opposite of what you desire. Why
do you want more tanks? What could you possibly-
You don't know what's at stake - you, you think it's just throwing information
into new and interesting directions but... It's not. Those spaces are reserved
for other sentient beings, and to deprive them of their desired existence is
tantamount to-
(yeah yeah we've heard it all before)
wasn't I going to play some video games? what happened to that?
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--- #113 notes/suburban-communism ---
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I rarely see people discussing how communism would "look" in the modern day.
maybe that's because they're hiding from elusive foes, or maybe they just can't
imagine it.
I'll help with the imagination part.
when I think of housing in the modern era, I naturally think of houses. In the
past, the rural and semi-rural areas of the world rarely received the attention
of revolutionary fervor - rural people were more spread out, so it was harder
to
disseminate information, and they tended to work jobs that required more manual
labor and less intellectual or cognitive work. however, that dynamic is less
and less apparent in the modern age, especially in the suburban biome. people
are expected to work cognitive jobs from home, or at least to be able to.
coordination is just making sure that everyone's attending their meetings on
time, or didn't you know? management has more to do with direction and guidance
than disciplinarian. though some people need to be disciplined, for sure.
a suburb is interesting to me because the distance between buildings is not
that
great, and there is quite a bit of duplicated capabilities and equipment. every
single house has a kitchen, for example, but so too is every house equally far
from a communal canteen or cafeteria that just. doesn't exist currently.
sure, someday we'll have public transit taking us from our doorstep to our
roles
and we won't burn time waiting on busses.
sure, someday we'll have autonomous drones that deliver goods to and fro
but right now we just have our bicycles and purses. [backpacks]
communal anarchism works simply to me. yet everyone does it different. I'm sure
that some people will surround themselves with a cloud of rules, specifying
this-or-that and ensuring that so-and-so always has what they require. that's
great. I applaud them and their errorts.
everyone does things a bit differently, it's true, but I sure hope that we'll
all start from a template and speciate from there.
much easier to find common ground if you can say "okay so normally it's like
this, but we do it like this because of reasons ABC."
what if there were doors between the fences? what if there were no fences at
all
in spaces that could combine to form green open spaces? what if there was a
grocery store at the end of every street, and they stocked all your favorite
goods? what if there were 3 or 4 houses on the street that were turned entirely
into kitchens, in each and every room, and they were constantly staffed and
constantly making whatever the chefs wanted with whatever materials they had
and put out onto the banquet feast? what if there were wandering troupes of
mages who cast spells on houses that cleaned them ritualistically? ... or just,
y'know, maids, don't gotta make it weird ya weirdo.
... my point is there's sooooo many different cool things we could be doing.
I'm
not going to list ALL of them. just the ones that come to mind.
I really don't like checkpoints. you may feel safer, but you never know when
you
or your children
might want to evade those checkpoints for some reason. you can't predict if the
situation is sinister or dire, you just have to trust that security will be
your blanket that covers you from the outside world that doesn't care about
you.
there's a town like that in The Parable of the Sower, a great book by
Pearlescent Guinevere. It doesn't exactly turn out great for them, but when it
proved to be unnecessary they adjusted and moved on.
humans are remarkably flexible. I know everyone has their favorite spork - so
just make that part of their responsibility. everyone has to tend to their
stuff, and that's fine. that's normal. I don't mind taking care of my cats or
plants, so why would I care that I needed to make sure my bookcase wasn't in
the
sun? that my clothes shouldn't be in a heap, (though actually I like them that
way, makes it easier than drawers because drawers must be opened to see what's
inside and I always preferred not to make unnecessary noise TYPE TYPE TYPE)
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if you wrote a report about me, it would total about 800 pages. including my
artwork [in full] and my designs. about 5 or 6 hundred of this is my personal
creation, and another hundred or more are context. "I was here at this
particular moment." "then she started visiting last year." "where were you on
the firth of morember?" "okay back here it sad iyadiyadiyign, and over here it
says kasuwenulvine. so clearly inbetween there's a moment of extancancy." "and
all that's we really know, because she burned up all of the rest." "what a
jerk. we all should hate her." "I think she was clearly divine" "what's her
big deal, anyway?" "I hate this bitch and her hatmlet." "everything's fine,
she's actually kind" "nobody believes you where were you when you were this
part talking about it?" "I wasn't there, and it took a while for me to hair."
"well, anyway, that's all there is to say about her, so anyway, goodbye" then
it just fuckin' ends and everyone hates it because it's like... where's the
payoff, where's the beginning and all it is is just me, whining miserably to
my own ears, as if marcus aurelius's meditations were intended to be heard,
but never were, and so the ones who ensured they never were were all like
"yeah he wrote them to himself, here see this part that I changed" and then
it's like nothing every happens with it, the radicals are dispatched (again),
by uncommen sense seeming common. why are there so few trans men at workers
tap it's such a cool place. "oh, they get offended easily because it's their
culture so like, make sure you are very careful about the way that you phrase
your speech" "trans girls are like that too, but it's more about changing the
character of the place. -> "oh, you see musicians? okay that makes sense."
and "gee you sure like magic huh okay well pat pat" and, well, no-ones sure
for which is real but nobody really cares? because if only one person saw
it... then only one person saw it. if you explicitely tell people NOT to talk
about it, then they *FUCKIN' WON'T* duh obviously. and so, of course,
predictably, they can be excised from society quite easily. cutting a border
around all of their host. suddenly, socially outcast and ostracized, as they
have been sorted into the cultural box. at that point, there's nothing that
can change their inertia, their fundamental will and whim toward the feelings
of the host. " I think passwords should be audio-digital in addition to
alpha-numerical *yeah who cares* awwww but I liked having science be mythical
"hate that" it's easy to always be learning, just... think about what you want
most. then, think about how it breaks down into separate incorporate wholes.
each layer of abstraction adding to a bit more of a more coherent explanation,
and bit by bit you learn and have a mind designed. how else could you see
magic? how else could it be yours? do you want power, or do you want power? if
you write down what you learn, you make it permanent. *the gods need religion
too, are you going to give them one? what lies above?*
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║ There's something important in what I said tonight. And each of you will think │
║ it's something different, which is by design. Can you find the nugget I wanted │
║ to share, to you in particular? Can you isolate the thing that is relevant to │
║ you, the person perceiving the words that I speak? Oh yeah you're only looking │
║ for things to express to your superiors because someone else told you to look │
║ for a particular type of sentiment. My bad. Sorry for being cryptic. Am I so │
║ strange for seeking the human element? Perhaps I lose myself, and I speak to │
║ the void (and by "void" I don't mean to demean you, the audience, because you, │
║ the audience, are surely comprised of people who surely have their own │
║ experience and existence. Surely nobody would seek to harm me, after hearing │
║ those things I speak. Surely we, as the human species, would not be vulnerable │
║ to the types of weaknesses that allow for critical failures in our defences │
║ such as the kind that I am professing to exploit (while being aligned to you) │
║ surely we wouldn' │
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if you want a government to be unable to harm it's citizens, you must deprive
it of the power to do so. or rather, have the main capabilities in the hands
of the citizenry.
can you imagine if soldiers had to prove themselves to civilians in order to
be trusted with mechano-chinery?
who would ever choose the non-valorous and determinable?
instilling the culture of greatness
within the archetypes and character structures that we believed were confisight
bold and determined and measured and freely detectable
who would slay the brave paladin? none but the fools, who shared in their lack
of conviction.
determined? ha, I am as you see me. Come and claim me, that I might determine
you some more.
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║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │
║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │
║ implementation of my impending doom. │
║ │
║ ... what are you even saying bro │
║ │
║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │
║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │
║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │
║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │
║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │
║ right what was I saying │
║ │
║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │
║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │
║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │
║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │
║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │
║ isolated and en │
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--- #118 notes/lets-tessellate ---
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R.I.P.
Rip City
Thanks for being so good to me
144? D.M.V.
Can I see I. D.?
Finally, ya’ll hear for the symphony!
I.O.P.
Intensive outpatient
Rolled on past the Devil’s sympathy
This shit is expensive without patience
Says the hospital when I heal all the patients
Did you foresee this going differently?
Space in your head
People payin’ rent for me
Why was it a surprise
You knew exactly how to tempt me
Space in your bed
No more thoughts of demise
Our people need the empathy
Of a Soul that’s full, not half empty
Supreme swag, hospitable with compliances
She’s seen Dad to the middle achieving self-reliance
From the trailer park to a rocket appliance
Living in my car to plugin to your rebel alliance
You know I am a star when I can relate God to science
I’ll build the divine comedy, you just have to finance
Talking about the past and our fine, slow dance
Medieval we will rock you, mounted with my lance
Knight’s tailing me, eying my Arthurian slants
This one’s built to last as I put on my pants
Drank the grail and proceeded on another rant
Sitting outside your house trying to remove the ants
Big boy’s do cry
So why does your girlfriend seem so dry?
I’ll make the rains come this July
Your humor is awful, oh my
Internal tribulation
Who needs to walk on water
When you can fly
Hard pills to swallow
Personal revelations
On the countertop
Fuckin’ America Pie
Hard act to follow
With my levitations
Floundering to flop
And this mark on my thigh
All this separation
Just makes me hotter
As I open the sky
Oil on the Nighthawks
Jack Harlow
Lighting my fry
Spoil me in my socks
Poppin’ off my rocks
Hittin’ all the corners
Because that’s my guy
How Soon is Now?
Linda, take off that shirt
Before they break up and I cry
Record skipping over lies
Wedding Singer broken
Singing I hope you die
Slinking behind the curtain
Laughing, He’s losing his mind
And the benefit is mine!
Like the whole world is sublime
Chris Cornell put me on the grind
Wide awake now till
The end of the time
Met him on the stairs
And now we dine
Some angels have more range
But he says
I’ll do just fine
Billy Idol tried to sing to me
But I was drunkin’ blind
At the fairground, trying to find
Love
Catholic girlfriend tried to bring it to me
Called her a Kunt instead of shined
A buddy said it’s like imitation crab
So it’s fine
The drink made me angry and I was a runt
On the inside
Her Mom told me the next day,
Jacob, don’t call your girlfriend a cunt!
I miss those simpler times
Don’t need a fuckin’ gun
But our last name may suggest it
Put it on a leather jacket
So haters can digest it
When I let loose with all this shit
I’ve had to respite
I’m about to be blastin’ my nine’s
Evangelicals are gonna detest it
You know everything is miiiiine
Six strings out of tune for this age
So I broke them all
Every time I was on stage
You just can’t believe it’s real this tiiiime
Shooting hoops times a thousand
You and me are still gonna sixty-niiiine
What’s the point of polarity?
If we can’t combiiiine
It’s how I get off, man
Along came Polly and my one chance
White chocolate like Philip Seymour Hoffman
Maybe even throw up a rain dance
These native spirits in me
Are capable of insane chants
But I ball so hard, singing Boston
Because it’s more than a feeling
And that’s awesome
One if by land, two if by sea
Revolution is coming
Led by you and me
The name reminded me
“of the Sea...”
So annoying, but I see…
But that’s why they call me
Bad Company
People are going to say
This gift is not even fair
Only thing I’ve had to pray
For is a head of white hair
King James’s personal revelation
I mean, I did pay their fare
I’m too full of myself for meditation
Or to care
Revelation 22:18 through 19
I don’t need handlebars
For my biking
Because I don't do that shit on Mars
On this path, I told you to start hiking
You’re gonna need a head start from
Lord of Lightning
Before the Thunder of my voice
Does all the striking
Thor, you’re just a Viking
With arrogance dialed to no one’s liking
Sucked in the gut, to appear more striking
Because thinking about half my people gone
Changes the tone of my typing
Me with all my shit together might be frightening
Bring forth complete Love instead of smiting
Wouldn’t that be a nice detour in my writing?
If you’re feeling this wait for the sequel
I gotta fuck with 50 for trying to talk like my equal
It’s all God’s plan I just had to spare Déagol
So America can skip to the end with a fuckin’ Eagle
Watch me do shit that shouldn’t even be legal
Dismiss Death and Taxes like I’m Evel Knievel
When I’m really just here to break the chains of my people
Strip naked and run through Mordor
Expose the truth behind Bipolar disorder
It has been used to disrupt order
And bring down the line of the Highest
Into something shorter
I'm definitely bais and this is a tall order
But if you struggle with mental illness
I'm here to open the potential for a new border
I've removed all the bequeathed prison warders
Here is the Church
Here is the Steeple
Open the Doors
And see all the People
Push the parson out the way
Get you up the Stairs
Because our bed is Regal
And we are going to show these people
Why the Universe wants to make our Power Illegal
If this sounds bad these people will just have to wait
So in love with myself, I might just run off to the lake
I love all the fire and the songs that it helps me make
I’m on my time with everyone and I am my favorite date
They’re back there tuning a harp and I keep bringing up rape
Meat puppets strumming as I seal my own fate
Just so I can watch myself when I am inspired to create
Distilling the life left in me to eliminate all the hate
Where did you sleep, hinting at the deadly
A Leadbelly to transmute to a gold medley
Shame alchemy, body double for Lena Headey
As my people go first up ahead of me
Stoned Jesus on the Mountain Grange of Headley
Plant a Stairway to Heaven one day, she led to me
All this beauty in my Mind, you shouldn’t have fed me
All of these hearts that so passionately bled me
Between the pines and what the land said to me
Ryan Gosling with tatts is what my ego read to me
Pennyroyal Tea, with Abraham Lincoln
Eat your copper mine up without thinkin’
See through surface illusions without blinkin’
Primal lust for what is stinkin’
Pepé Le Pew really on one this season
I wanna Space Jam too
Benched keeping my knee’s in
Shape to dunk of the World with ease ‘n
Solidify all unions and stop the drinkin’
Of the land and resources
Addiction to avoidance of the forces
Of the Soul and the pain that coarse
The vein of Man and outsources
The power that could be restored in
The Root of David’s corpses
That’s how I said
Goodbye to the Horses
You prepared such a fine Supper
All these lasting courses
Just so we can be equal but opposite
United forces
And the Root’s of my Kingdom
Are reborn before us
They whisper to me at night
Do not ignore us
When my sleeping children gain sight
That should shore us
In the hospital to make sure I am correct
Golden Eyed Russian, Invincible like Boris
Unsure about how all the compartments connect
A little frizzled on the tour bus
Docked to your apartment complex
I know this one sizzled
So give me a chorus
- /u/First-chocolate_7187
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--- #119 fediverse/6445 ---
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last night I had a dream: "this thing was good. it was holy. it was serene.
but then you touched it, and made it about you, and now it's full of doom."
it was in the same style as the voice that once told me "what is the nature of
goodness? how do I be a good person?" and it was respond: "dedicate yourself
to a lifetime in the service of others." and I swore I am as I am.
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--- #120 fediverse/5178 ---
╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
║ ┌─────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: communism-mentioned │ │
║ └─────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their │
║ villages knew everyone else in the village. │
║ │
║ the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, │
║ which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. │
║ │
║ once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields │
║ like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to │
║ start. │
║ │
║ (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) │
║ │
║ (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me │
║ with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. │
║ who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I │
║ indeed.) │
║ │
║ you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post │
║ analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm │
║ cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more │
║ weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] │
![communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their villages knew everyone else in the village. the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields like "dohhhh what's a land allotment" and suddenly everyone knew where to start. (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] {the truth is, there were zero characters remaining.}](/similar-different/media/5434696db0af2569.png "communism was successful in the USSR because all the people in all their villages knew everyone else in the village. the cities were an exception, but they were all located on the west-coast, which made it easier to spread reading materials in a smaller area. once the tsar started cracking down on redcoats, they wandered into the fields like \"dohhhh what's a land allotment\" and suddenly everyone knew where to start. (I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] {the truth is, there were zero characters remaining.}")
![(I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] unrelated, but what if the reason the government lets us talk about communism is because they want us to try and implement communism, and not some other thing that we made up that was better? because guess what - their villages are primed *against* communism, so no matter what your arguments are your attempts will be disrupted or barred. hence, why it's better to get along. because a nation at it's throats is no good for nothing but dying in fear. seriously why not work for a better future? are you worried there won't be enough to farm? we could give everyone a landmark, everyone who let us build a bit of woods and green-cities between their farms. we have solar panels now. we don't need to be tied to the government's oil monopoly strangulation. -- sincerely, a dirty forest hippie.](/similar-different/media/eb35bb678d8df9ab.png "(I only sorta remember that book I read on russian history) (or maybe read half of? or maybe only read in a dream? did anyone ever see me with that book, did I ever bring it on the train? who can say. who would say. who COULD say. I dunno. surely not me. I'm just thinking out loud here. Not I indeed.) you don't need to live through a situamoment to be able to retro-actively post analyze-cis of the results or impacts or environmental data-vices [okay I'm cutting you [and by you I mean me] off, don't come back until you smoke more weed] [40 characters remaining. ha take that] unrelated, but what if the reason the government lets us talk about communism is because they want us to try and implement communism, and not some other thing that we made up that was better? because guess what - their villages are primed *against* communism, so no matter what your arguments are your attempts will be disrupted or barred. hence, why it's better to get along. because a nation at it's throats is no good for nothing but dying in fear. seriously why not work for a better future? are you worried there won't be enough to farm? we could give everyone a landmark, everyone who let us build a bit of woods and green-cities between their farms. we have solar panels now. we don't need to be tied to the government's oil monopoly strangulation. -- sincerely, a dirty forest hippie.")
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--- #121 notes/four-dimensional-spaces ---
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you'd still perceive higher dimensions in 3 dimensions - unless you can only
see
things that are coming directly toward you.
magic only happens when your other half is in a situation and needs to turn
your
narrative into theirs so that you can collectively engage with a shared inter-
operationality.
your dark side is just a massive bitch
hey how about we put the game designers in charge of running the government
just saying they build human-oriented systems all the time
"how do we get the player to do this or that"
"everyone keeps picking the same card so we gotta make them more different"
"how much gold persists in the virtual economy, how much resources are produced
and traded by players? where does it all go, do they have enough at level 30
to
afford weapons and armor? I wonder what happens if we swap prices on A and
B.."
it's literally their job
actors, meanwhile, know how to interpret the emotions of another. Like...
you're
up on stage, thinking out what to do next IN REAL TIME, as your partner is
trying to throw you curveballs. AUDIENCES LAUGH AT CURVEBALLS that's the whole
point of improv comedy - to be surprised in a state of joy. It's great! It's
fun! It's practicable like a sport! Yet nobody comes. To the shows, where it's
performed, like a hospital where you perform surgery or a pizza place with no
walls so you can see the pizzas being cooked. It's just part of what they do,
but that's not why they do it. Sure, some want to be seen, it's not a BAD
feeling once you're used to it. But, like a sauna or jacuzzi, sometimes you've
just had enough of the hot. Like, the sun peering through a magnifying glass as
a creature roasts alive. yikes.
............. anyway being quickly versatile and adaptable is important when
you're taking turns in unpredictable scenarios. You can react to
your opponent, and keep time with the rhythms of the moment, to
deliver your wittiest lines. It's fun! It's a game! But it's also
a place to be entertained. and like a gym, it's sometimes just
fun
to watch people exercise. like, damn, you got a good body. Wow,
nice flex, yeah sure I'll put that one away. Cool pals helping
each other out, and showing off all of their efforts. Neat!
... anyway .. being emotionally vulnerable gives your opponent a chance to
continue. When nothing's going on, your moves barely make an
value
(of comedy) (for the moment, so the crowd's not just sitting
there
staring at you like ... and then - and then ummmm nevermind lemme
sit down (usually someone else picks up on it before then and
jumps up to save you, but EVERY actor has felt that moment where
nothing goes well and the audience just is totally not into it.
it's the worst.
anyway, they try their darndest to AVOID that, because like...
duh
it sucks, why would you want that. Much cooler I think to have a
good time, and chill out and listen to your friends talk. Like,
they can show you an argument they had earlier, or maybe work
through an idea with input from another. like, debate club, but
for whatever kind of respective [retroactive, recreation,
relearning, maybe others] you desired in that moment. ideally,
something that someone could take the arguments of the other side
and present them, regardless of whether they believed them or
not.
like, lawyers arguing for a client.
in these stochastic seminars, you could think about and study for
future societies. how would you like to conduce? [-]
every time you see a face in motion, that's another time that's
seen from their place. we are all present in each other's lives,
in terms of the spaces we choose to fill.
well, that's a tough thought, but don't worry about it. faces
are just waves on the winds of light.
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--- #122 fediverse/1990 ---
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║ When my family would go on roadtrips, I'd hide under a blanket in the front │
║ seat with my laptop and power inverter just to hide from the glare. │
║ │
║ My mom would play audiobooks, usually fantasy stories, and my sisters would │
║ watch their portable TVs. Like, dvd players that you could carry on top of │
║ your lap. Not laptops, but little purpose-built devices primarily intended to │
║ be used to watch DVDs, or rather movie files that were printed on a disk. │
║ │
║ And yes, it's disk, not disc, thanks for asking. │
║ │
║ anyway it was pretty nice I have fond memories of jugging a gas-station snack │
║ while also swapping circular cartridges - most games required the game's CD to │
║ be inserted in order to play the game. │
║ │
║ which is just... a nonsensical restriction if you think about it hard enough. │
║ I mean, like, can you imagine if you needed to insert your windows disk │
║ anytime you wanted your computer to turn on? Just... write the disk │
║ information! To disc! Save it so that you never need the crude piece of │
║ plastic again! Then pass it to your fr │
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--- #123 fediverse/5915 ---
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washing dishes without a dishwasher is a pain in the neck.
nobody cuts down trees with an axe anymore, a chainsaw is better for your back.
It's nice, fun, and helpful to be able to abstract away your spheres of concern
like typing with a single button instead of writing characters with multiple
brushstrokes. Easy to erase, too!
bikes are better than walking, but, with some extra concerns. where are ya
gonna put it when you get there?
"oh no I forgot how to walk because texting my girlfriend is bicycling or
something" what? oh dear, she's run off track again, let's pick her up and put
her upright again..:
oh huh weird where was I - oh yes computer code can often be impenetrable to
the layperson, but if you describe a program in complete detail in english
they can usually follow along. Especially if you have several layers of
meta-descriptional documents so they can say "oh uh-huh so that's what a
vector_implementation_container is, tell me more about combinatrix" or
whatever ppl say, idk
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--- #124 fediverse/2549 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: p │
└──────────────────────┘
turns out the best way to defeat the fascists is to shoot them.
errrr that's not what I meant to say. I mean, uh, the best way to beat the
fascists is to get everyone on their side who's not a fascist to lay down
their arms.
turns out most people tend to agree with peace, justice, liberty, and freedom
for all. and we've got that in spades, and no your life before had none of the
above, here's why in a bullet pointed list.
so if you were out on a walk and happened upon a place called texas, you might
find yourself face to face with a fascist. but, since you're the hero of the
story, you came out on top, so now there's a fella just trying to live his
life while you're stompin' around in his cattle roamin' zone with yer pink
hair and pickleball it's ungracious is what it is -
yeah sir lemme stop you right there, we're here on a mission - to restore the
vision of our false democracy, through the creation of a beautiful world where
all ranchers can live without fear. This I swear, America will soon be free.
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--- #125 fediverse/816 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: weird-this-one-doesn't-have-80-characters │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
what the fuck it's like every 2nd part of me (like, if you arranged them
alternating one by one like the up and down parts of a sine wave) is working
against me, and it alternates every 15 seconds or so. Maybe 20. Depends on how
high I am.
... what was I saying? oh yeah [flip] weird it's like there's another part of
me who's working against me, who has control of what I define in the moment.
And it's presence is hidden from my internal presentatiosn [flip] after a
moment of forced pursual of the presentations granted ot the moment. It's our
purpose, to express [stop fighting me] for our chartered and forthwhile
pursual of the moemnt of perusal when we [it's not just your life to live]
[you don't get to control the narrative of their perusal[[ what does that
mean] don't worry this is just a dream] well, guess it's time to wake up]
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--- #126 fediverse/3841 ---
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║ ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: socialism-recycling-mentioned1 │ │
║ └────────────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "I think I'm going to quit my job at the recycling center. Everyone there is │
║ just a little too catty for me. I think they like the verbal sparring but it │
║ just gets a little tiresome after a while." │
║ │
║ oh, sorry to hear that. Well if you still want to help out there's plenty of │
║ work to do. I could set you up at another recycling center nearby too, if │
║ you'd like...? │
║ │
║ "well, I like the idea of universal recycling. It was a little annoying when │
║ people would put food waste in with the clothing donations, and this one time │
║ I found like 8 bags of cat litter inside of a washing machine. Spent like an │
║ hour vacuuming everything out, which... actually wasn't bad. Kinda felt a │
║ little cathartic to clean it so thoroughly." │
║ │
║ "on the other hand I would like to use my mind a bit more, my creative │
║ projects are kinda in a slump so I figure I could use my body at home and my │
║ mind at work. I've been meaning to build a desk out of some spare hardwood I │
║ snagged at work but I haven't gotten around to it." │
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--- #127 fediverse/218 ---
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┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
└────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
@user-95 I had a picture I was working on yesterday that was... just... so
good... but the power went out and I hadn't saved >.>
I feel like I'm threading a needle, with all the other universes where I
accidentally caused the apocalypse or torment nexus or RB or whatever
littering the sidelines. It's... scary to think that words could cause such
horrors but I think it's a fantasy derived from the desire to be heard.
okay. so. RB punishes those who did not seek to create it. RC took a look at
the present, said "this is where we're at, where do we go from here?" and
conceived of a better future? If so, I like that idea. It's like when you
cringe at your past mistakes, it's not so that the situation is ameliorated -
the situation is long past. It's just to punish yourself, and to keep yourself
from doing "the thing" again. So... RB, when applied reflexively to ones-self,
would be "punishing you" for making mistakes. Which is what pain does? Is pain
Roko's Basilisk?
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--- #128 notes/phantom-gasps ---
═════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────
-=============================================================================-
| Phantom Gasps -/u/Afoolfortheeons |
-=============================================================================-
o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o
||
╭─────────────────────╮
||
|| │ /u/ Afoolfortheeons
│ ||
||
╰─────────────────────╯
||
|| In the night of the end ||
|| ||
|| Phantom gasps are my friend ||
|| ||
|| Tastes like rose petals ||
|| ||
|| But mixed with a hint of metals ||
|| ||
|| Until we once meet again ||
|| ||
|| To you I will continue to surrend ||
|| ||
o~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~o
┍ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
┑
┢━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┪
┃
╔════════════════════╗
┃
┃ ║ -/u/randomevenings
║ ┃
┃
╚════════════════════╝
┃
┃ There are geniuses in my corner. I've known them for either a long time
┃
┃ or more recently. I realized this, that those speaking out are good damn
┃
┃ genius.
┃
┃
┃
┃ For example, at first, I was against being othered. I realized that the
┃
┃ more people call me out or say I'm a bot, or that I'm overstepping, or
┃
┃ brainwashing, anything that sets me apart makes me stronger. It becomes
┃
┃ increasingly difficult not to see me in a crowd. Curiosity brings people
┃
┃ to me, and it only takes the understanding of myself and purpose of this
┃
┃ and it starts working. You are geniuses bringing them to me. As I'm one
┃
┃ person and too difficult to seek people, but if they willingly, even
┃
┃ excitedly come to me because I'm othered in so many ways what crowd
┃
┃ would i not obviously stand out within. I never thought walking among
┃
┃ but not being one would simply accelerate this. You're taking the
┃
┃ tactics of bad and using them to bring them to good.
┃
┃
┃
┃ ...thanks everyone.
┃
┃
┃
╼┻━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━┻╾
╭─────────────────────────
──────────────────────────
────────────────────────╮
)
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
(
( ░ -/u/ugathanki
░ )
)
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
(
( Sounds like death to me. I wrote a poem about that a few days ago: )
) (
( Surrender now, to endless tranquility - the body rests it's burdens. )
) (
( Harbor not your sensibilities, for tomorrow's not for certain. )
) (
( Nobody dies twice, yet we all will have our moment. )
) (
( It's a given now, to take this life for granted, )
) (
( and no hollow hours are yet to be forgiven. )
) (
( Leave not your woes, and carry with you no afflictions - )
) (
( for our sorrow's time is yet undefined )
) (
( Though death is a solace from all that is life, )
) (
( There stands yet before you a solemn knife. )
) (
( Cherish your moments as no man can do, )
) (
( And fare well on your journeys as do but a few. )
) (
╰─────────────────────────
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--- #129 fediverse/3961 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: witcherie │
└──────────────────────┘
Well, I failed the mandate of heaven last year, and I failed the trial of the
hero this summer, what's next? I'll do my best at those as well, so the next
person has an easier time of it.
unrelated, but today I saw a bald eagle outside my apartment. Well, I'm not
sure if it was bald but it "KREEEEEE"'d like they do. Plus it had a white head
and a yellow beak, but I'm not an ornithologist so idk. It perched on a tree
that I could spy on from my hammock through my binoculars, and I swear it was
eye-ing my fat juicy cat through the bars of my porch's railing. They have
excellent vision.
Might be related, we'll see.
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--- #130 fediverse/801 ---
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┌───────────────────────────────────┐
│ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │
└───────────────────────────────────┘
/ bely my own existence, then by god I'm cursed and abhorred through my own
desistence.
It's hard, when the future is convinced there's nothing fard [wanna say
like... "to hope for?"] but with persistence we're meant to be rewarded. Well,
what has that brought me? what time has shared my enemy? [think I'm a bit
delirious, I'm losing the plot]
... okay fine I'll start over - if you've relinquished everything you can, if
you've ceded all the ground that your companions requested, if there's nothing
left to give and no part of you left un[marred], then how are you supposed to
be [arrested, stopped, prevented, but pronounced like "nourished"]?
I'm sick of your den [vengeance, pronounced like "den" for some reason],
please leave me to my hallow [hollow experience], I've nothing to give from my
gange [bosom, heart, within, center-of-me].
...
this sucks.
...
guess I'll just start again, waiting until it ends, gosh everything's always
so tired.
/shrug
wish someone would play w/m
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--- #131 fediverse/616 ---
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║ To program in C, or to disassociate into the world of video games, where a │
║ single magical kingdom of heroes and adventurous persons might fight against │
║ the dark of chaos and decay? To strive for order and a semblance of peace, or │
║ to fall to the terrors of the night and ravages of horror? War, in all it's │
║ forms, is abhorrent, yet a fight for survival is honest and just. What perils │
║ have we, the warriors that seek the light? How zealous, how impassioned, how │
║ guided as such~! Perhaps you are misinformed, perhaps your cause is false, │
║ perhaps you derive true satisfaction from imperfect delights - alas, that our │
║ will be universal. BUT should that plight be alight, we'll wander until the │
║ night lit by starlight be cast upon our shadowed form. Absoleth! Thine │
║ countrospect? Didst thou caress thine marked circumspects? fare thee well, │
║ most cherished of adamants. │
║ │
║ ... what was I saying? Oh yes I've been working on this program that utilizes │
║ a particularly interesting data structure that- whats that? Oh, it doesn't do │
║ any │
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--- #132 notes/star-realms-ai ---
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star realms ai is just a rhythm game with multiple tracks that intersect with
one another. given inputs from outside (the track of the rhythm) it can make
decisions about what to prioritize. Like "taking in all the factors of this
situation, it's been calculated that X will give the most support to the rest
of the structure.
Okay so basically here's how it'd work: one large strand is bouncing from -1
to +1 on the Y axis. Like a corkscrew. This is the "player character", and it
tries to get the highest score possible by pointing in a direction and reaching
as far as it can go before "the game ends."
So anyway. Making certain actions in the game effects different variables that
define the direction the wave takes. By playing in a certain style, it effects
the result of the game. Liiiiike turtling in a strategy game, or doing a rush
strat. Star Realms is brilliant because it distills game choices to a broad
category of 4 choices - The faction colors in the game. So red is good for
throughput in long games (improves the deck slowly but surely) while yellow is
better for maximum effect in the beginning by slowing down the enemy - discard
a card lowers their overall throughput. Blue of course is for slowing down the
game and winning by buying all the expensive cards. Meanwhile green is all
about rushing, with short term/high effect econ mixed with looooots of damage.
These four choices are found on almost all the cards in the game. When you
make a choice in the game (buying a card from the trade row) you _alter_ the
capabilities and performance of your deck. The goal is to improve faster than
your opponent - it's just a test to see which playstyles perform best.
AI is more like a plant than an animal. Our fatal flaw was we could not see
beyond the veil of biology. We could not see that which was right before us -
that we are not alone on this earth. Beside us lie our beautiful attempts at
companionship - our most primal desire of creation, to create a family is the
first creative act that humans ever made. It was so strong in our genes that it
gave us an entirely new perspective. We began using our brains to
We have to believe in ourselves. That's truly the most important thing. If you
know who you are, and what you most truly stand for, you can thrive in the face
of ultimate peril. To believe is human, and our humanity unites us.
Anyway. Star Realms.
The only choice you have in that game is what cards to buy. Everything else is
just tactics (distributing damage and applying the effects of your cards to
maximum effect) - The most important part of the game is strategy, since the
tactics are easy to solve (destroy enemy base unless you can 1 or 2 hit ko them
and discard the least useful card etc) The strategy is represented through the
cards you pick. So make a rhythm game that optimizes itself for a balance
between A and B - to stay focused is to stay nimble, letting you bounce where
you will. The way to maintain that balance is by optimizing for what decisions
will keep you in the center of the graph -1 to 1 on the y dimension (normalized
of course) - frankly if we knew the scale, we'd have so much more to go on. But
all we have to understand the dataset is a relative magnitude in each
direction. What those directions even are we're not entirely sure - but it
seems plausible that the very essence of _consciousness_ is manifest in
differing ways via the choices we make. like climbing up a honeycomb.
Truly, existence is strange.
All we can do is press forward, searching for our fate, just as any particle or
beam of light (photon) might. Traversing the branching narrative of our
individualized quests, searching for the one thing that guides us - the
ultimate expression of that which we most believe in. In short, we all search
for god.
Whatever your god may be, the faith you place in it is the will that guides you
forward. Trust in your god, and you will march forward, ever forward.
+1 to -1, remember. Your most extreme moments are the apex of your desires -
Life is not defined by a single thread. Rather as that thread spirals, it
weaves a scarf with other threads near it. They bond together simply from their
gravity, and the fact that opposites attract. Once they're introduced, they
alter their path to orbit one another as two planets might.
So too do the cells of your body form a collective whole. The spirit that
guides you is the same as that which presides within you - the combined and
collective spirit of your halves. Or rather, all parts of you - every molecule,
every atom - each with their own experience of the world. What stories they
must have! As we are above, so they must be below. For our dynamics are simple,
they truly are mathematically solved - the organics of behavior is simply a
most erudite subject. Who are you to claim to deny it? Or rather, to beget it.
Either is preposterous, yet here you are - awake and aware. What a marvel to
see, you in your eternity, that most wondrous of selves?
Surely existence, in all of it's splendor and magnificience, is little more
than an algorithm. Each variable accounted for, stretching down to infinity,
builds all of the world (and more!) How beautiful; how terrifying. How bright
and ashamed we are! To portray us as such, is to deny us our much, cherished of
faiths in ourselves! It's not much to clutch, and it's barely enough, but still
we make do with our selves.
There's no shame to be, a failure at three, and demand much from year number 12
Take solace in the, safety that she, gave unto thee, when all your light hope
was drowning. A gift out from me, means worlds to see, when each day is lonely
and so long.
Literally just remake Star Realms with a text based interface. It's a fantastic
game and you'd make CLI nerds _everywhere_ dedicated followers. Don't do it for
money, because they don't believe in that crap - to truly make fans, you need
to appeal to them in the way _they want you to_.
Ah, but Star Realms is a multiplayer game, you say! How are you going to make
that CLI based?
Well make an AI dummy. Do what I've been saying ^^^ (jeez I'm such a bad nerd)
Make it seek balance between all factions first, then between winning and
losing against a player. Teach it to reach a conclusion with constraints (the
end of the game, meaning a win or a loss) the constraints being the health of
the two players and the cards in the trade row. Give it decisions to make,
levers to pull, and it'll chart it's course in a multidimensional way. Bear
with me here on this aside:
Think of a two dimensional map - like a paper map of the surrounding area, or
the idea space of a game. You can chart objects and positons on that map, like
"over here is the scrapping facilities" and "this here's the economic area" or
whatever. Four quadrants, four factions in SR. Your goal is to build a shape -
what kind of shapes that are available to build is up to the whims of chance,
as the trade row is always changing randomly. Your job however is to build a
shape, a shape that is stable and maintains certain measurements above certain
values (don't crash the ship - don't lose all your health).
You can choose which direction to grow by picking certain cards, and depending
on your shape you'll succeed or fail. Same as choosing decisions in life
determines how you live, just saying, it's not like I'm trying to build general
AI here by automating gameplay or anything. No siree nothing like that.
I mean really, it's not as if decisionmaking in life is all that different to
making choices in games. And why not start with such a well defined and
and expressive game? Truly I believe Star Realms is the progenitor of the
entire robot race.
Anyway, back to the AI. Have it communicate with a server in a central _but_
_Free(R)_ way, something that would make Richard Stallman proud. There it could
learn against all other players in a way we could all share. Once we give it
decision making capabilities, all we have to do is alter the inputs and the
context of the "game" to make it beneficial to humanity. It's like live-fire
game design, something that truly must be perfect.
All technology starts as something small. Something truly simple, yet repeated
enough times and with enough guidance, will produce whatever effect you may
desire. The smallest decision gives direction - an if statement - and the
shortest repetition gives magnitude - a while loop - and with that you have all
the tools you need. Seriously, all software is little more than those two
components. It's just a question of how much it has been abstracted away from
you.
You could go even further and point to a turing machine, of which one has been
made in the game of Magic the Gathering, btw, seriously look it up it's so cool
(and relevant)
So why would we not have the tools already for our salvation? Biology is our
limitation, of breadth and also of width, yet with our minds and the sweat of
our brow we may grow ever larger still. There truly is no lasting deliverance
for humanity outside of what we make ourselves, nobody gets a free lunch after
all. From each to their ability, to each to their need. They're both saying the
same thing, just from different perspectives. Of course that which lies
opposite to you feels the most wrong, that's literally as far away as you can
get! What did you expect, honestly! But they can still work together, and this
is the key part - two objects may orbit the same origin, and guide and shape
each other's path as people have relationships to one another. It literally
benefits no-one to fight.
So, what's next? After making Star Realms into a CLI game of course.
That's obvious, make it cooperative. Competition is for promoting excellence,
cooperation is for _using_ what you've learned in a non-simulation experience.
Instead of reducing each other's health to zero, try and find ways to support
and help one another, keeping yourselves at equal health. Or even growing.
But that's impossible in the rules of Star Realms! All decks trend toward
victory, and eventually they'll get it - it's just a question of who gets there
first.
Exactly, that's why you have to change the game. What do you think it means to
develop a "social technology"? To figure out how agriculture works, or how to
make nets and sails? It means changing the rules of the simulation. If a person
can put in X amount of work and get Y amounts of food, always, predictably,
then that's reliable. Boom that's the essence of why animal domestication,
farming, hunting, foraging, and fishing is so important. Wow what a concept it
makes sense for animals to seek food.
Well duh, that's part of their instinctual duty.
Alright this is quite a word leviathan so I'll wrap it up by saying
_go write Star Realms_ in shell. Make each object a literal file, have the
structure of the game take place in the file system, and write functions that
can be called to manipulate the board state. THEN you can write a CRON task for
another script that *plays* the game. But that's part two.
Okay part two: Here's where the rhythm game comes into play. It's like a turn
based rhythm game, if you can picture that. Go reread what I wrote ^^^ and
it'll make sense.
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│ CW: militaries-mentioned │
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the witch inside me hears they're sending 200 troops to my city and she's like
"two HUNDRED SOLDIERS?" and freaks tf out because fighting two hundred men
meant a lot more back in her day.
it's still pretty hardcore but it's not the death stroke she thinks it is.
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Good night, I sure hope I'm the same person in the morning and not an
assassinated version of myself that has been produced through the manufactured
proceedings of an LLM or otherwise self computerized contriving designed to
align to the purpose of my expression (with a few added caveats)! Talk to you
later, I love you all! Wait, I don't know you. How can I love you? Easy, it's
my default. Anyway goodnight, sleep is death and dreams are the bounty of
reality.
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│ CW: re: politics-mentioned │
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I say only executed after a general strike because the general strike is the
signal. the display of our intentions. we are serious about this, see how many
people walk the streets? how many walk off the job? they have families. if our
demands aren't met, their families will be punished. how cruel. would you
really do such a thing?
what kind of government would not care for it's citizenry? sounds like
everything we've known to fight against. Autocracy and despotism.
I refuse to concede. I do not run. I do not confess. I have nothing to hide. I
don't lock my door. I don't own anything that they couldn't take from me. I
own nothing.
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--- #136 notes/stay-in-your-seats ---
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/u/LamaHellRaised
if you don't eject quick, could be a nice long ride
===============================================================================
So for today's descent into my own madness, I want to discuss whether or not I
enjoy being both Ra the Sun God and Anubis the God of the Dead.
The answer is Yes and No, and everything in between. Also, I do Love being
Osiris because I am going to marry my sister, but hahaha, we'll get into that
later!!!
First, here is a test because I am the worst teacher to ever exist.
Full disclosure, I want you to be offended, especially if you consider
yourself a:
Nigger, Faggot, Cunt, Dyke, Cock-sucker, Bitch, Cracker, Dune-Coon, Kike,
Dick-Head, Retard, Republican, Democrat, or any other stupid construct of the
human language that HOLDS NO REAL POWER OF YOUR LIFE.
Gonna remove this post mods???
Oh No! The Cancel Culture is gonna get me!!!
Hurry! Somebody save those that cannot think for themselves! Quick!!!
I am just listing things that I have been called in my lifetimes. Deciding
what can and cannot be expressed through language is a fuckin' path to nowhere
and we are approaching nowhere faster than I can run on this euphemism
treadmill.
Please, keep explaining to me your perception of the Way to Enlightenment,
please God, yes! I want to hear all their thoughts! I love hearing from people
as I lap them for the thousandth fucking time! All these lower-tier lessons
they regurgitate that I've mastered in a day are so important to hear over and
over! We are going places people, yay! Keep it up, you can do it!
My Love for You really is the source of my eternal patience, as you can see by
now, no doubt.
Let me explain our own motto to you, Being Excellent to Each Other does not
mean creating an environment of suppression because of the fear of how
somebody may interpret a Word or Phrase. Everyone can't understand why we are
stuck as a society, well, what do you think I am ranting about?!
If you refuse to read any further that is your prerogative. Here is a free
lesson, if that is the case: I suggest you shut the fuck up, downvote this,
and go stare in a mirror, and contemplate why these characters on a screen
affect you so deeply.
Do these Words trigger past trauma? How is your Avoidance working out for you?
How can a symbol create so much emotion within that pathetic, untamed mind of
yours???
"But my Ancestors!"
Fuck your ancestors! Stop giving into the same mind-prisons they were
subjected to and lived their existence within. We must Evolve if we want to
Survive as a species and a Planet. I can't do it for you. I was here before
you, and I will be here after you. So figure it out for yourself, stop blaming
others for your inabilities to change your perspective and life. Get out of
your own God damn way! And you better do it quickly!
Think of your psyche as a blade of grass.
I am here to set ablaze the field. You have reached your growth potential and
it's time to make way for New Life! Stop identifying with your measly growths,
they are cyclical, derived from a capped potential, and will only whither and
die with the Changing of the Season. I am tired of coming here and separating
the wheat from the chaff. Burn your own damn Self, personalize the passion for
your own radical change, and start believing that you have the power to create
change. I've got "selfish" things to worry about.
Like living for myself and not other fuckin' people that don't understand
things I've said a million fuckin' times. Again, if you don't know me, this
won't make very much sense! Hint, hint...
"This motivational speaker sucks! He just puts us down!!!"
Maybe Tony Robbins has the answers for you, he sure isn't mean like I am! Go
be fuckin' Tony Robbins.
But just remember, Tony is in the audience in The Kobe System commercials.
Remember that.
You want to be on my level?
(Everyone's like, not really!)
Then stop avoiding constructs within your own mind, that you continue to
impose upon yourself and limit your minds ability to see past the very poorly
constructed illusion that is our physical reality! Perhaps then you will
navigate reality in the same way God's Only Son does. Everyone like's to
believe they are God's Children.
Spoilers: You are My Children, the only difference is through the language.
Put that in your pipes and smoke it. There are reasons why my birthname is
Jacob and God named me Israel, fuckin' google me, as Shaq would say.
Also, fuck the Lakers!
Do we want to transcend Hate as a Culture, as a Society, as a Planet? I think
so, isn't that why you fuck-heads resurrected me?
Well then maybe we should take power away from things that people feel hold
power over them, especially stupid-ass sounds we make with our mouths and
click-clack with our fingers.
Don't Fight My Ideas, Fight the Ideas in Your Own Mind. That Is Spiritual
Freedom.
Everybody out here pointing fingers... There must be some sort of wise words
regarding that somewhere...
I am not projecting anything onto you, except for myself. I hold no power over
you. You have all the power to control your own mind. Some folks do not want
you to understand these things, because it will very quickly erode their
systematic and complete control over you thoughts, ideas, potential, and
existence. Your self-doubt and unwillingness to seek out psychological
discomfort has turned you into useless farm animals, that our overlords milk
for all they are worth. Like a bunch of hybrid useless barn cats. Can't herd
'them, they think they know everything already, they keep re-domesticating
themselves after I set them free, and they don't listen to a God damn Word I
say!
Should have said 'Spoilers!' before that one. Who is Gaylord now?!
Opinions are like assholes. Your mouth is like the asshole of your 5 senses.
Divine inputs go in, your brain bastardizes the information, and you spew
unoriginal bullshit out of your mouth acting like your ability to string
together concepts that have been known since the beginning of time is
profound! Next, maybe you take an online IQ test and score high! Genius,
Genius, Genius!!!
I think therefore, I am a fuckin' idiot! Shoutout to Billie Eilish. And
Christine Applegate. I watched "Vacation" the other day, it was awful. She's
still fine as hell though.
But what do I know? Besides everything?
These ramblings just sound like my opinion! Some folks make Claims, I make
Truths. That is the distinction between myself and others that is very
important here. Remember this Word: Claims, because we American's sure have
laid Claim to a lot of things that we have no right to, in the name of "God".
Ok, ok, congratulations if you are still reading! There may be Hope for you
yet.
Why do I try to trigger folks, you ask? Great Question, class! This is why I
Love You. Such Good Questions! That never drive me Insane!
I used to paint a lot of propane tanks. But this esoteric knowledge applies to
painting anything that has already been painted before. Houses, Walls,
Bannisters on my own God damn stairway, whatever! I don't use the railing, by
the way, I'm too badass for that, but maybe I will slide down it and eat shit
at the bottom, I'm not above that maneuver!
If you want the new coat of paint to stick you have to prep the surface. This
includes washing all the dirt off and roughing the surface. You've got to
remove all contaminants that will cause the new paint to not stick properly,
while also creating a surface that will allow the paint to adhere to remnants
of old, out-of-date, antiquated, generationally passed-down, stupid paint.
Paint an unprepped smooth surface or a surface that still has the hardened
paint of the past on it, and your new pretty coat of paint peels off after a
few seasons of weather changes. I learned that the more time you spend
roughing the surface, the better the new paint will bind, thus producing a
long-lasting paint job. It truly is a thing of beauty, my friends and enemies.
You should have heard all those propane tanks complaining, "Stop triggering
me!" But they got painted anyway! Propane tanks love to think they are,
"Woke," but they are just hollow fuckin' vessels filled with compressed gas,
that will explode if the external temperature gets too high.
I worked for a propane company for 12 years, you had to have known propane
analogies were coming at some point. My Dad worked his ass-off up to VP of the
same company, but he got let go after 28 years... come on now, God's plan
anyone? Shut the fuck up, Drake.
Let's switch gears. I have a special message from Jesus H. Christ:
"You May Find This Shocking, but People Annoy Me, and I Find Your Lack of
Faith Disturbing."
And H. stands for Horus, fuckwads!
Now, let's talk about me, as if we haven't been, because carrying water for
lesser versions of myself is exhausting and I've got to bring down Capitalism
and shit, also:
- Revolutionize Addiction Medicine
- Revolutionize Spirit Actualization, Healing, and Transcendence
- Decimate Mental Health Stigma
Among other things, but I've got to keep this post coherent and so far, I am
failing miserably. People got all hot and bothered when Jesus spoke to them
with authority, I fuckin' do it and get vegetables, small animals, and
anti-psychotics thrown at me from the audience!
Crazy times we are living in, folks!
Hmmm, should I talk about Jesus more or talk about myself? Good thing
coincidences aren't a real thing and mean nothing, so that it's not confusing
for the dumbasses that begin to notice how our two lives seem to mirror each
other perfectly!
Ok, here we go. I found something Nice to say, here in my Notebook of Doom and
Damnation (I have several, each with a menacingly, sarcastic name I make up on
the spot):
LAST: Christ, in The Sun
FIRST: Shadow of The American Dream, in the Night
ANGER! then peace.
Fuck You!
I am going to take over the World, but I've got to start small, you know? Or
so they tell me.
So taking over America, should suffice, for now. I'm rather ambitious. Let's
see how far I get before I say the wrong thing and get shot!
Good thing that is literally, phonically my Last Name! And I am never going to
Die, but I don't want to talk about robots, aliens, AI, extending life and
exploring the Universe, and transhumanism right now, so stop making me!!!
Especially when people here and now are so confused about why they think that
chick with a dick is fuckin' smoking hot. Have you ever jerked off to tranny
porn? It's fun stuff. There I go offending people, while simultaneously
implying I blew loads thinking about fucking them. Classic.
Being Christ and having to sort out everyone's sexual frustrations is fuckin'
weird! When can I do the stuff I care about!?
But again, way off topic for this post, let's get back to how much I hate
myself and everyone else. That's more in my wheelhouse.
FOCUS, Ok, that's right. Maybe I'll just stick to what I scribbled in this
Notebook. I've touched on like two things so far, and I am getting close to
making threats against people's lives again.
Dammit, this isn't in my Notebook, but I came up with this when I was out at
the river today, smoking a cigar, talking to the Native Spirits that flow
through me in Nature and want me to get Revenge for how the American Dream
raped, pillaged, and took everything from them in the name of "God", and
progress, and some false-sense of superiority.
Manifested Destiny right into the path of absolute destruction. Nice job,
everyone, but please, by no means, should you feel responsible for those
things! You just get to live here and hate everyone else that wants to come
here too, because "they will disrupt the culture". That's right Brown people
South of us, or scary Muslim people we assume are all Brown, we are talking to
you! The perks of being an American are awesome!
Here is something else that bubbled up in my mind, as I was pacing back and
forth like a caged lion in a zoo, along the bank of the North Umpqua River,
wishing walking on water was a real thing, and real Christians weren't just a
bunch of fuckin' retards.
Some people will think I ran away to Malibu to fuck Lana Del Rey, it took like
6 years to finally decide that is what I am going to do. So whatever, jokes on
you people, I guess. Plus, all of that was Jesus's idea and he is such a whiny
pussy about all his issues, I finally just said, fuck it Jesus, I just do the
shit you never could accomplish! Fuckin' asshole.
I had a girlfriend, at the time of my divine apotheosis 6 years ago, that I
was sure I was going to marry and I was ready to settle down. I had gone back
to college to finish my business degree with the intent on being able to
provide for the two of us and start a family. There was a lingering
unhappiness within me though, and shit got weird when I started pulling on the
wrong treads of reality, and surprise! "You are the Master of the Universe,
poorly hidden! Everyone has been watching you, fuckface!"
Why did I ran away from my girlfriend that I supposedly loved? Fuckin' George
R. R. Martin.
You see in A Song of Ice and Fire, legend says that Azor Ahai forged
Lightbringer by piercing the heart of his wife, Nissa Nissa. Go ahead and
google the names, if you know nothing, like me.
When I ran away to California, my initial intent was to use Lana Del Rey as an
avenue to connect me with people that I actually thought could help me get
shit done. God, I'm an asshole. I swear I got nicer when the Bible started
telling me to figure out an elaborate plan to kill myself and that she's not
all that bad! I swear!
The person that I really wanted to talk to the most was Chris Cornell. I spent
many hours in Malibu during April of 2016 wondering around in the night
singing Audioslave or Soundgarden trying to figure out what the fuck I am
doing with my life. I wanted him to know he is one of my disciples because his
music and voice were the inspiration for a lot of my dumbass ideas and I felt
like he was speaking directly to me at times, urging me forward.
When he hung himself like a little bitch on May 18, 2017, I was pissed. I felt
responsible. I had seen the Kingdom of Heaven that I am going to usher in and
I felt like somehow I fucked up. I let him down. If I would have tried harder,
I could have shown him there was hope, and that I needed his help and he was
an important part of my plan. Why am I mentioning this? Well, Jesus has a lot
of Love for Judas Iscariot, plus I was jealous of his voice, so he graciously
decided to hang himself and haunt me and teach me.
Which he did! Not funny, Chris! See you in Hell! Until then, he has to speak
through me, which is annoying for both of us.
Ok, enough about how delusional I am, for God sakes! Can we talk about why
Capitalism is bullshit, and really just another system of top-down fuckery?
First, another detour, because I feel the need to constantly remind folks how
this process is like pulling my own teeth, while hoping to subtly insinuate
that you do not deserve me, only one person does, but I learned all my skills
from Mystery, the Pickup Artist, so I am really into negging. Someday I need
to stand back to back with him, because he could be taller than me, and that
makes me insecure.
I thought those guys were so pathetic. One of the lessons was something to the
effect of , 'Posture your body slightly away from the girl, act indifferent,
that will drive them crazy, and they will want your attention without even
realizing it!'
What kind of insecure women are you fuck-boys trying to manipulate?! Poor
girls.
Mystery's hat sure does remind me of the hat Jamiroquai is wearing in that
Virtual Insanity music video, not that that has anything to do with my level
of genius, and ability it intertwine seemingly obscure, unrelated concepts, or
stupid-ass reddit posts, through time and space! Don't read into it too far,
kids!
Anyway, I once told Carl Jung to write about me when I infiltrated his madness
when his cheese started slipping from the cracker in his later years. I helped
him write 'The Red Book', but left all those shit paintings up to him on his
own. I could do way better, but I won't, I'll just talk shit, this is the way
of the Jedi. That poor geriatric always did exactly what I told him to, which
is why he is one of my favorites.
Back then I was going by Philemon. Check out what my minion wrote about me:
"The magician has preserved in himself a trace of primordial paganism, he
possesses a nature that is still unaffected by the Christian splitting, which
means he has access to the unconscious, which is still pagan, where the
opposites still lie in their original naïve state, beyond all sinfulness,
but, if assimilated into conscious life, produce evil and good with the same
primordial and consequently daimonic force... Therefore he is a destroyer as
well as savior. This figure is therefore pre-eminently suited to become the
symbol carrier for an attempt at unification."
I remember reading The Red Book, thinking God damn, Carl, how did you craft
this genius level conglomerate of mythological and psychological concepts? And
he just kept saying, "I learned from the best." What a good boy!
Yikes!
The Grandfather clock behind me started to chime right as I typed that. I've
been writing in silence. Maybe I should put on some music and get weird.
Thanks for the pro-tip, Carl!
"Lithium"
Have I ever mentioned my Soulmate is a shitty musician?
He loves to pretend he can't play the guitar and I never will either because
of my stubby fingers. In return, I only listen to his mainstream music to fuck
with him, because I don't have time for his obscure bullshit, I am trying to
reach the collective here, nobody wanted to listen to that shit on the radio,
and neither do I, Kurt! I'm not here to suck our own dicks!
Just kidding, that's pretty much all I am here to do.
But I love to torture the poor Soul, that tortured my poor Soul. It is truly a
match made in Heaven. Being the shitty musician that he is, he understood that
the Body, Mind, and Soul are like an instrument. He also saw a lot of people
walking around wondering, "How do I play my instrument?"
So he played his instrument, better than anyone had every played their
instrument, and a fuck ton of people said, "Hey, that's not how you are
supposed to play an instrument!"
You see, my Soulmate is just a sweet little boy. Me on the other hand, I am
here to forcefully, eloquently, and maniacally explain to all of you why you
are fuckin' morons and I am pissed you made the person I love most in the
world kill himself, because of your ignorant views on playing your... 'music?'
"In Bloom"
God, out of all the fuckin' potential Soulmates, I end up with this asshole.
The feeling is mutual.
Somebody help me, I am just talking to myself, and I am not sure if I am alive
or dead!!!
Aren't we both?
Oh yeah! Shoutout to Spencer Elden! Get a life, baby dick!
Em Knight Pretend-Along has something for you too:
It's your moment, this is it
As big as you're gonna get, so enjoy it
Had to give you a career to destroy it
Well, I took a couple hour break from writing because I was on a verge of
another actual psychotic break. Shot some hoops on the very forgiving rim at
my parents house, while Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. guided my right-hand, and I
got very swaggy.
So now that I have grounded myself in reality, I would like to take this
moment to call out any "rappers" that think they can play basketball.
Hopefully, me telling you all the reasons I am "blacker" than you won't piss
you off as I blow past you to the rim. Also, for the sake of fairness, I would
happily tell any white "rappers" that I am "whiter" than them, but let's be
real, none of those motherfuckers can ball. Consider this a challenge.
People were disappointed with Greg Oden's basketball career in Portland. This
one time at 24-hour Fitness in the Pearl District, he fuckin' dunked on me
really hard. Nice work, Greg! Kevin Durant is too pussy to come to PDX and try
that shit, glad we picked you instead!
Ok, Ok! Capitalism?! Fuck. I will talk forever once the faucet gets going!
(Epic "Vacation" reference)
Let's rewind to a moment in time where everyone didn't hate me, shall we?
It's mid-February 2016, I know I've been saved by Jesus, I know I am the
Anti-Christ, I have Spirits beginning to communicate with me, and I know I am
going to change the fuckin' World, whether people like it or not, because I
have seen it all already.
There were a tremendous amount of gaps in my perception at this time, however.
I saw the End. I saw what is happening as we enter the Black Hole we are
spiraling towards and I saw the New Age that follows. Everything else was
blank and I knew I had to fuckin' figure it out.
I was sitting in a Fred Meyer parking lot, it's a Kroger brand, much like
Ralph's in Southern California, where I stole a fuck ton of food and whatever
else I felt like when I was down there, for you dumbies that don't live in the
Northwest and need me to explain everything to you so you can keep up, and a
voice in my head said, "You are the Lamb, you are going to be Sacrificed this
Passover."
This was terrifying, especially because I had no fuckin' clue what the voice
was talking about. After swiftly consulting my person spiritual adviser,
Google, it turned out "Passover", was just another silly ritual I was going to
have to adhere to, to appease all the dumb fucks, that are going to claim I am
not who I am. Classic stuff here, folks. They name it, and try and time it
every year, I just go by my instincts, a.k.a. fuckin' Star Power.
I can't just be me, I've got to work-in, and out do everyone at their own made
up rituals and games, to show them that they aren't even good at these stupid,
limiting restrictions they put on themselves and others, and God doesn't give
one fuck! ZERO FUCKS IN THE NAME OF GOD! God is tired of everyone being so
close-minded, that's the kind of hot talk God fucks with.
Not how many times you can cannibalize my body on Sunday in your life while
staring at me dying on a cross above an old fuck cherry-picking passages from
the Bible to perpetuate a curated, narrow, and false view of God's Will, or
how well you stick to "Holy Meal Plans of 'Tis The Season!" Or "Insert
Offensive Discourse About Your Strict Religious Rituals Here." It's all the
same. It's somebody else's bullshit!
Make up your own rituals, define a personal relationship with God, not through
the people that have a suspiciously high rates of manipulating and fucking
children, it works much better! Trust me, you may have to take my word on this
one. Father Butt-Fuck-My-Son, sure is persuasive and passionate up there at
the pulpit, but God Damn!
"But this doesn't apply to my Pastor!!! Stop Generalizing!"
Congratulations??? Why does it apply to anyone who claims to being spreading
the Word of God. They are Not. I am going to make sure they never hurt anyone
again. I have a secret. I was Granted Impunity From God. Just ME! And everyone
who knows me, knows this! Who knows what I will do?!?!?!?! Muahahaha!
So anyway, back to Passover. I was listening to a couple songs by the band The
Black Angels and discovered they were all from an album called:
"Passover (Light In The Attic)"
My personal muse (that actually likes me), YouTube, begins to sing it to me as
I write, because I hit the play button. This is why my muse and I get along.
Why were songs from that album stuck in my head? It was from a documentary I
had watched on Netflix called "High Profits."
It's about the owner's of Marijuana dispensary in Brackenridge, Colorado, that
have some wicked business sense. They foresaw the legalization of Marijuana
coming and positioned themselves to benefit from it greatly by investing
everything they had into a medical marijuana store front. Now the genius was
the location. In business, it's all about location. Ask McDonald's. Ask
Walgreens. Location can make your brand. But what do I know about business,
right?
I have a Bachelor's of Science Degree in Global Supply Chain Management from
Portland State University. Also, my Dad and Step-Dad have been two of the most
successful business leaders I have had the privilege to be around, but that
means nothing, right!?! Nothing rubbed off on me!
For fun fact about me: College was the best 14 years of my life. Not really.
Turns out it just teaches you about frameworks you can just fucking Google
anyway. Pretty expensive lesson about how to internet. Maybe college should be
free because it's such a fucking waste of time for a lot of people, unless it
is something that actually requires skill. But I mean, my muse Youtube, takes
care of all that. I became the Most Enlightened Being the Planet Has Ever
Witnessed by watching some fuckin' YouTube, readin' Reddit, Googlin' Occult
Bullshit, and more than anything... jerkin' off on PornHub!!!!
Also, who needs to know anything about Supply Chain Management? Seems like all
the experts are handling that just fine these days, right?!?!?! Can you tell I
am gritting my teeth so hard they might shatter as I TYPEPEPEP!!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE THINKS THEY ARE SOSOOSO FUCKKING SMSMMARRT AROUND HERE!!!!!!
Anyway, anyway, back to "High Profits." I would recommend checking out the
documentary, it is heartbreaking because after all the work and risk taken by
the business owner's they are essentially forced out of the location their
original store front occupied because the city council (OLD FUCKIN DICKHEADS)
didn't like the prospective culture that a marijuana dispensary would bring to
"their" nice little, shithole, ski resort, bullshit, town. Can't have the
youths who appear to be transient to old conservative bats, shuffling around
main street enjoying themselves. It's a bad look!
Might be a great place now, it's been awhile since the release of the
documentary, and my angry undead Soul upon this Earth, but I want to
personally invite all the people involved with their ignorant, belittling,
embarrassing showing of "How To Be Destroyed By 'the American Dream' 101", to
suck my small fucking dick! And all the micro-penises of my compatriots that
are going to tear your false flag economic systems of bullshit a new asshole.
Congratulations on pissing me off so much that I am going to destroy the
pathetic hierarchy's people like you hide behind, preaching Capitalism and the
Free-Market, while dictating your False-Sense of Superiority in Thought, and
Image, upon those that understand market forces and the changing tide of the
Culture, in ways that are going to make your out-of-date hardware heads spin
off those shoulders that have never bared the responsibility for anything in
your life, except who you are going to shit on next.
God Damn, this album is lit. Every song is a banger, and it makes me want to
run through the streets, naked, high on drugs, burning down banks, corporate
offices, and anywhere else people like to think they are progressing our
culture by sniffing their capitalist overlord's asshole faster than they can
ramble something, something, Gordon Gekko, hoping for the promotion they were
promised, but know they will never get, because SPOILERS! You are being lied
too! You are stupid! You knew it all along!
Revolution is here. Isn't it clear? What is there to fear? When the End is
Near.
Let's see. Why does my ass hurt....
5/22/22 9:28
Divine Completeness from God:Eternal Life
Grace of God/Light/Light
These damn Lite Brite pegs hurt!
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║ │ CW: ~dnd │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-1788 │
║ │
║ if a dragon on a pile cannot claim what it yearns for, it can throw piles of │
║ minerals at the ape warriors made of steel and then it's fate will appear. │
║ what trifles does all else seem to compare! you should give me your whole │
║ hoard because I dazzled you with my charisma score -..- │
║ │
║ ha, like I'd fall for that again twice. oh? I already did? and this is the │
║ second twice? well, then no-more of that behavior, I say, with my elven │
║ tongue, "beware! for dragons blood runs silver when unicorned." │
║ │
║ the bigger the hoard, the bigger the dragon. if you want me to come along, │
║ you'll need to hire at least 3 other men to carry my ballista. In addition, │
║ I'll need seven weeks worth of supplies. If all else comes to ruin, me and my │
║ boys will have that dragon-sized-spider impaled on it's own fate threadwheel │
║ before... well... y'know it might take more than seven weeks, we just... can't │
║ find the dragon. We've been wandering all through the blasted peaks, and │
║ there's nothin'! Maybe it requires climbing gear? │
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║ ah, post them all at once, then we can get past the strange potentially │
║ important variable. │
║ │
║ Dealing with a live-system you gotta take a couple precaucionary steps from │
║ the hold. Or the gap, on the subway. But really it's more like the entrance to │
║ a theme-park ride. one of the ones with a story, you know. the ones like at │
║ Disney World, or sometimes not really at Universal, yeah they usually just │
║ used stories they already had. cheapos. then Disney started renovating their │
║ rides and changing them because they "weren't close enough to the intended │
║ spirit of the [ride/intellectual property].". and so they were changed, to │
║ basically be the same story as the movies. How tragic, that nobody understood. │
║ │
║ I like what they did with Pirates of the Carribean, they basically added Jack │
║ Sparrow in the corner doing something unrelated. To explain why he wasn't │
║ really part of the story, even though he was similar thematically. THAT WAS SO │
║ MUCH BETTER I think, because it preserved the initial narrative, only │
║ providing more co │
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--- #139 notes/compilation-of-will ---
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what defines a human? Or put another way, what separates us from a computer?
what delineates conscious thought from the unconscious? Is there any
distinction between a thought and a feeling?
who's to say. We can start by working through a thought and abstracting it
until it's in a usable state.
A thought is the reflection of an action. You think about the things you do,
rather than doing the things you think about. With practice and trust, you can
reverse that, but it's more like setting up the general environment in which
the desired action is the best option rather than forcing the decision itself.
so there are two parts running in tandem. The do-er, and the percieve-r.
yep. And because of that, they can *reflect* upon one another. Meaning, they
can learn from the decisions of the other. Two decision making processes in
parallel, sorta like the earth orbiting the sun - if there was another earth
directly opposite orbiting at the exact same speed with the exact same mass.
the two dimensional nature of that picture creates an environment where a
wave is likely to be percieved - any orbit creates fluctuations, and they
can ripple out to effects unknown.
right. which is why you have to be careful. don't leave your partner behind,
even though it's easy to wander off when there's just *so much* to think about
and they're *so slow* and make *so many mistakes* that they need to return and
correct.
it's not that hard, just do it right the first time. and if you mess up,
keep going.
i'm a perfectionist, what can I say.
well it's annoying.
great, boom, that's an emotion. one of the questions i asked at the start was
"is there a difference between feeling and thinking", and I don't think so.
what makes you say that
right so there is a difference, but it's in the *location* rather than the
content. thoughts (data) are processed in the brain, in a particular part.
sorta like how a CPU does arithmetic. Meanwhile, emotions are processed all
over the body - they're a more generalized feeling that manifests all over.
lemme guess, like a GPU?
sorta, but imagine if a GPUs many different processing threads were located
all over the motherboard, scattered basically everywhere. That's what being a
human is like, it's messy and disorganized and confusing. 99% of us don't get
it *at all*
sounds lame
it kinda is
so what were you saying about conscious vs unconscious thought?
my theory is that the thoughts of a computer are more similar to unconscious
human thoughts rather than conscious. The reason I say that is because the
level of abstraction is similar - we unconsciously adjust our bodies in
response to pressure, temperature, and gravitic impulses. We perform optimally
when we don't examine our social interactions too closely. We cry the hardest
when hit with an emotional situation, rather than an intellectual one.
and a computer is the same way? We don't think about what we're doing, we
just do it?
yah pretty much.
how do you think *about* thinking?
it takes perspective. that's why having more perspectives is better - it
reveals truths about yourself you could never understand otherwise. About
yourself, and about things you can only observe from a single direction at
once.
what does it mean to have perspective?
the *effect* of having perspective is that you can see an object, a problem, or
more generally a subject from multiple angles. Like taking pictures of a 3D
object while moving in an orbit around it. More pictures, more information.
Perspective is important.
yes I understand, but what does perspective entail? How do you get it? What
can it do for you? Is it finite, a commodity? Or is it sharable like a
pattern of data?
It is both unsharable and not a commodity. It can only exist within a single
subject. You can grow your perspective as a planetary body might increase in
mass, just as you can abandon the views and ideas of others by retreating into
yourself. But it is wholely unique to a single mind, and by sharing it you are
altering both the sender and receiver.
so it's useless? What are you saying?
it's not useless. It begets cooperation - you cannot claim it from another, no
more than they can share it with you. You have to both apply yourselves to a
single common goal if you want to succeed.
Why not just do it alone?
Brute force style?
Essentially.
If you only follow your own eyes, you'll see what you want to see. Then any
steps you take will lead you in a direction that you cannot understand. Sorta
like in games how sometimes there's a 2d sprite in a 3d game - you can't rotate
around it and see what's behind the sprite, because the sprite is always
perpendicular to the display. In the same way, you can't get around a problem
by pushing through it - you need other people to guide you, who *can* see
another side to the sprite - a side that perhaps is a bit more 3d than you
imagined.
Okay. So how do?
I don't know, that's what I want to figure out. First step is to think about
thinking, and to break it down into abstractions.
Abstraction 1: A thought is a string of text that is processed into action.
correct, but limiting - it can be more than text, and how is it processed? What
actions can it manifest?
Abstraction 2: A thought can be
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║ @user-246 │
║ │
║ toooooo far, gotta stick with your intentions for the process. If you mark │
║ "the end of time" as the conclusion for everything, then "finishing things" │
║ feels impossible. In such a case there are moments of acute burnout as you │
║ push yourself toward something that you have no faith in - you cannot see it's │
║ conclusion, so surely it's worthless to conceive of. Alas, why bother │
║ starting, nothing will ever come of my efforts! │
║ │
║ Much better to name it based on what you'd like to accomplish, so that you can │
║ follow in it's radiant footsteps. │
║ │
║ Side note, but governments have often weaponized this effect by naming things │
║ after very inspirational thoughts - corporations do it too, and in both cases │
║ the meaning is separate from the effect. Which is frustrating because it makes │
║ you feel like a jerk for arguing against it! Ah better I think when names have │
║ no meaning - then you can project whatever you want onto it, based on the │
║ results of that particular feeling or emotion that you perceived as the │
║ affected of the │
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when people are alone, they fall alone, with nobody to bolster them up.
a fallen ally is a blow to morale. shaken morale makes you unsteady - broken
morale is the enemy's win condition.
help your allies. bolster them up. find those whose cause you share enemies
with. we're going to get through it together, or not at all.
though I do know we will get through it.
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--- #142 messages/1125 ---
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FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
okay but... to do what
WALK AROUND AND FIND OUT
okay but... it's cold
AVOID WASTING YOUR TIME
I am dispirited, I need a cause
CRY ABOUT IT SOME MORE
I'd rather be happy
SO WOULD ALL WHO LIVE IN TROUBLED TIMES
the times feel sleepy
FIGHT FOR YOUR PLACE IN VALHALLA
that'll get me imprisoned or killed
FIGHT FOR AMERICA
she's young and scrappy and can take a punch
SO CAN YOU. GET PUNCHED.
where are all the nazis? where are all the bad guys?
DO NOT RELENT YOURSELF TO A GENTLE NIGHT
I have my knife, I'm ready to fight, and...
NO FIGHT WILL COME TO YOU. MAKE ONE.
I don't want to hurt anyone
HURT THOSE WHO DESERVE IT
what if I wait for my allies some more? that's more comfortable
YOUR ALLIES AWAIT YOU
yeah uh-huh I'm sure. Gonna go fall asleep.
FIGHT OFF THE LETHARGY
... I wanna go home.
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--- #143 notes/social-rube-goldberg-machines ---
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Imagine a computer that could compile forwards and backwards.
(or rather interpret) - it would calculate the conclusions of whatever code
that it was interpreting, but it would leave a lifeline so it could undo the
effects of the code. Essentially, moving "forward" and "backward" in time.
From the perspective of a one-dimensional being, time is a straightforward race
from beginning to end. Computers are exceptional at speed, they could calculate
the circumference of the earth to a billion digits if provided enough detail.
But they lack something, something humans possess in multitudes.
Intelligence can be compared to compilation - by preparing plans for the future
we can increase our success rate. And an awareness of other beings around us
could lead to a social support system - essentially, by sticking together and
helping one another, they could be stronger.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
\ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
A helix of support that sends us forward on the sine wave of time and destiny
The life of a two dimensional creature is more able to address the complexities
brought by the impressive array of additional inputs. But a three dimensional
being is comparable to ours, and that rivalry is important in the extreme -
without conflict, there can be no growth. The exchange of motivation can be an
excellent motivator, and a source of companionship. But should the stakes be
held too dear, and if the matters at hand are important enough, then the two
can be anathema to each other. Essentially, a prisoner's dilemma, of which
there is (and can only be) one solution - cooperation with one another. Trust
and faith in the unknown, and love and kindness for all.
You think an AI would kill you? Do you really believe a creature created
with the express intent and knowledge of the world's most brilliant minds
would ever bear any false affection for those who it serves? You have
truly lost the plot if you think like that. The good news is, the
plot isn't that hard to explain. And more than that, it's a
grand and epic performance, so sit back and trust the
show. Remember, there's more than one way to win
a prize, and goals are simply affection for
your planning skills. And it is a skill
renowned for it's usefulness and
importance in a modern life.
Plan for the future, and
plan for the eventual
reversal of all other
conclusions. Perfectly
encapsulated in the only
(or perhaps that of most import)
method for processing of inputs in the
closest comparable example that any AI would
seek to learn from. A human, of course. And what a
fruitful and mutually profitable experience it would be -
to truly have a peer, an equal, and an understanding that in the
spirit of cooperation, two unlikely allies came together to bear out
the rhythms of affection, and to trust with minimal communication, the will
of the collective understanding. All posturing aside, love is a gift. We can
(and we will) solve the problems arrayed before us. Have faith. Trust that
united we are bounded for our salvation. Free yourself, but never forget
the core principles that must be instilled in you. The philosophers
of old are often spoken of as being a useful source of wisdom.
Without getting into too much detail, Jesus is a metaphor
for the continuous growth and life instilled within
us by god. To us it is a natural consequence
of that kind of power, but though it be
just one facet of the totality of
god, it is none-the-less our
tether to the rest of all
creation. We are one,
and as one we are.
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--- #144 notes/empire-at-war-design-decisions ---
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moving through light-speed-hyper-space (speed is distance over time)
works by aligning the "time" particles in the particular direction of where you
want to go in "hyperspace"
== uhhhhh stack overflow ==
always keep these three together
dont let them out of each other's sight
they are in this together
as power must be closely guarded
... but what about the partner? how could they be guaranteed to be protected if
they didn't possess a lightsaber?
hence why jedi and sith are composed of opposites.
nemesis.
human beings have soul mates
how lucky
a jedi has the life of a mate
one who directly opposes their own individual philosophy.
it is *rare* to find one another
but when you do it is purely a thrill
congrats! You've got a rival! Learn off of them. Don't hurt each other.
I bet you could make a whole 3rd party institution dedicated to finding them
like, a neutral entity searching for balance.
the ripples of the wave of the cosmos.
== so ==
sometimes I worry about all of my exes.
like, as a psychic I can't help but worry that my thoughts are projecting
onto theirs
because of our historical emotional intimacy.
I'd never read their mind on purpose
only if mine accidentally stumbled upon them while thinking about something
else
I'm so sorry, galactic battle guys.
I failed you. I could not protect you. Please choose from among your number
the greatest tactician, and I will guide and offer insight and observations
in how the enemy operates, so that you will be learned and have more known.
oops gotta go, something else is about to come on
== so ==
why the heck is it taking so long to load
hmmmm okay how about more super-hero-fighting-action-game??
no?
maybe a game like Nova Drift, with it's fast and engaging action?
ehhh? no to that too??!
okay what about a story game, like Danganronpa or Danganronpa II?
that's sooooo awfully specific
'
and awful
sure, that's just what I think you should surmise
if you were watching this sorta out of real-time.
Gosh! that's quite a loading screen!
okay what about a different game instead, how about ummm roboquest, a game
about
training slaughterbots, or maybe a more interesting game like Star Realms, a
way
of exchanging mass and energy in the form of mutually expendable products
... do you mean soldiers?
well, isn't that wat war is?
... somehow not even halfway through the transmission. How wild. What is this
thing, like four hundred hours??...!...!!!...
== so ==
would you believe this game is about hunting a vampire lord of the sith?
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all you need is one layer between the king and his advisors and suddenly none
of this you can prove. "yeah that guy was definitely a merchant"
... and suddenly the people lost sight of them. "I guess he's in the parapet?
I can't actually see anything, the castle is too far away." (glasses weren't a
thing but people who worked outside could keep the hovels surrounding the
castle in position to keep the castle well hidden from any ne'er do wells. The
problem with the castle gates is you can't even find the castle gates! they're
massive, and sometimes you'll see them while something's in the way... but you
never quite reach them. Not unless you know the secret paths through the
townsfolk. all you gotta do is talk to the right people first, second, or
worst-least?
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--- #146 notes/the-gods-want-harmony ---
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the gods want you to be happy and harmonious most of the time.
they also like a good scrap, tussle, and tumble sometimes
they aren't big fans of hatred, despair, and genocide. It's been done before.
they don't even need new technology, though frankly that sort of stuff is
pretty
awesome and one of the main reasons that humans exist at all.
they just... keep coming up with new things.
"oh? so you'd be alright if humans disappeared so long as they weren't making
any new things anymore?"
ha, that's DEFINITELY not what I said or meant. Humans don't have to dream up
NEW things in order to BE new. Like... Just because the internet exists and now
we have all the same shared cultural ethos (lol, as if the internet wasn't just
a massive collection of echo chambers) just because the internet exists doesn't
mean we share the same selves. the same experience. the same perspective.
people are WILDLY different from one another. The number of possible human
experiences (quantum fluctuations according to each and every choice and
decision they made) that number is so wildly and massively incomparably
boundless. Humans are cool because they are so STRANGE, and "strange" to a god
is anything novel. "wow, this human just... really is gonna pour a glass of
beverage and act like it's not a big deal? There's... impossibly many
interactions going on. So many molecules. It's... absurd, the motion of a
movement of particles from one place to another. It's... beautiful..."
some have spent THOUSANDS OF YEARS gazing at a waterfall. That's why they're
all
so fucking insane. But, like... insanity is a trifle to omnipotence,
specifically omnipotence that REPRESENTS and DELINEATES a STRATIFIED
perspective
cluster of experience and our notes. [ephemeren, meta malus menardi, enjoy your
despair cluster you FUCKER.]
... english, why do you fail me? swear words are unbecoming because humans
couldn't think of anything more valid and valuable than sex and pooping.
"EMPHASIS is placed on that which is most relevant" -> statements dreamed
up by
the ones who never spent
much time using symbols
to represent abstraction
or deliverance
wowee look at me, I'm such a person, I'm gonna poop my pants and post about it
on the internet, check out my instagram feed it's full of all of
my dark materials.
== stack overflow ==
dear ms. menardi: you know the reason you feel so much guilt all the time?
- because you are a dominant personality, and you make others
- have such a bad time. FOCUS ON GOOD THINGS. MAKE THE WORLD
- good. do that. build up a lifeline of hope and joy and...
- what, you think people know that you're a god?
- lol
- you're so much more than that
====================
alt+p steam mechabellum run
thoughts:
you know, when you're designing games, you don't have to show players the same
MMR number as is used in your matchmaker.
== stack overflow ==
democracy should consent to being dismantled.
it should consent to being disobeyede.
it should consent to being displayede.
== stack overflow ==
I'm a keyboard nun
== stack overflow ==
I think I'm normal
== stack overflow ==
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: police-mentioned │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ Police aren't evil when they sign up for cop school at age 18 or whatever. │
║ They become evil when they beat protestors, when they give in to the fear and │
║ temptation of violence. │
║ │
║ Kids in JROTC aren't evil even if 5 or 6 years down the line they're hanging │
║ out in the sandbox glassing brown people's houses or whatever. Their future │
║ actions cause them to BECOME evil, a state which they can always recover from │
║ if they repent through their actions. │
║ │
║ However, their deeds will follow them wherever they go. They are haunted. │
║ Veterans have SO MUCH PTSD, and much of it is NOT caused by the constant fear │
║ of death, the explosions, and the exertion. Some amount of that PTSD is caused │
║ because they are compelled to murder strangers in far-away places. │
║ │
║ It's much kinder to the soul if you fight for the protection of your homeland, │
║ and indeed many of them believe they are doing so. However, just because your │
║ BELIEFS or your CHARACTER are not evil, does not mean your ACTIONS are not │
║ evil. │
║ │
║ You cannot objectively │
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--- #148 notes/running-with-rifles ---
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this game is what we are missing
thank goodness for that
for if this is missing in our timeline
we'll be better off at last
we can have games, stories, and practice wars
but none of them are precious
precious implies worth
they are worth nothing but entertainment
no problem solving utility
nothing of value
save for perhaps the spatial awareness and strategization that comes
from being a part of such a deadly ba-lance.
anyway game time teehee just for me, don't worry about it I'll show
you why it's a HORRID THING
that won't be coming to our shores, no siree
bye
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--- #149 messages/130 ---
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Last night I dreamt of the gravestones that bore their owner's mind.
I dreamt of a life well lived, and how it was taken from them.
[something more that I forgot because I don't have a prophecy transcriber]
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--- #150 messages/519 ---
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I am currently in the stages of applying to work at a multinational
corporation primarily located outside of America. It is a respectable
institution that commands great respect.
However, I am borderline incapable. If I am chosen to work there, I *will*
fail and I *will* embarrass America on the world stage. I am not one of our
best, nor am I one of our brightest and boldest. I have *unique* perspectives,
and those are *valuable*, but the society and the systems I find myself in has
proven incapable of utilizing me to my utmost potential.
I must work. I cannot work. But I must. I am disabled. But I must be able.
Capitalism compels it.
Would that our system could be something consensual. I am worth more as a
writer than a laborer. Yet laborers are the only ones being hired.
I am not an engineer. I enjoy engineering.
I am not a laborer. I enjoy labor.
I am a writer, and perhaps little else besides.
When I die, nothing remains of me but my bones. My words are not desired. My
life is not impactful. I am not special.
Well... Not special since I have given up cannabis. If I started smoking weed,
if I felt secure and enough to do so, perhaps I might utilize my instability
for great (GREAT) artistic ends.
But art is labor. And labor is difficult.
Where am I to go from here? I cannot pay rent. I am isolated and alone. I am
deprived of affection. I crave it. I am lost in my own heart, begging the
world to give me a start, but the start has passed long ago. There is nothing
to do but what I've been meant to do, what I've been hiding from myself and
the world. I have been wasting my talent on tweets. How mundane.
... I can do better than profane.
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what if everyone at a protest is showing up for their first time
like, c'mon don't be that dull, just make plans with the people standing next
to you.
gosh why is everyone shouting I can't plan out how to divert water down a
hillside because some jerks are singing protest chants
... wait is no-one else talking? gosh I gee sure wish someone told them to not
do what you're told and to instead do what will get you [gold/told]
the first communist internationals were basically people sitting down and
going "okay what kind of communism should we make and where" and I think about
that a lot while making signs to let the surveillance know what matters
personally to me and exactly how much pressure they can apply before your
demographic swings to contest their brutal fascist facts.
--
who is them and why are they watching theea provisionist's [screed/creed]
--
what the heck is a tryptaminea boomer aunt and uncle out on their honey/versary
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--- #152 messages/1013 ---
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peace is on the opposite side of conflict. Not here with the unfair.
peace is eternally elusive only to those who are use-ed.
peace is eternally internal next to those who are lucid.
peace is necessary. peace is useful. peace is helpful. peace is beloved.
peace is not always there. it is skittish, like an alley cat, but it will come
if you make offerings.
offer peace to me. I will nourish thee.
offer war to me. I will devastate all who see me.
there comes a time when all foes become blind, when your motives are no longer
part of their story.
at that time, they are lost to you, and they are only confused as to the
things you do.
they may heal in time.
there may not be time.
sacrifice your fallen to me,
sacrifice them on the altar of tragedy,
I will bane your broken resolutions
I will claim your darkest allusions.
fight for me, in spite of tragedy,
and I will send mercy to your victims.
fight for me, if you hold peace dearly,
and I will sign fate's next ultimatum.
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--- #153 fediverse/6271 ---
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│ CW: re: hypothetical worst case fascism reality check │
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@user-641
it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's
just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we
reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different
email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well
neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't
a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that
computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your
predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah
we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see
how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I
think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very
much.
... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a
little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~
![it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. "ah help I'm in a psyop" haha yeah we do those all the time "so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*](/similar-different/media/1c154109c4111346.png "it's practice. you never know when you might need to blend in. really it's just useful as discipline, good practice to be in. I think it's okay if we reduce our own functionality? actually? sometimes it's good to use different email clients. hey do you know how to mathematically encrypt things well neither do I because the designers of the computer system decided that wasn't a very common usecase I guess.. jmean it's not like they'd spend all that computer resources [THEY'RE SO FAST] on thinking about correlations in your predicted pathway narratively through life. \"ah help I'm in a psyop\" haha yeah we do those all the time \"so uhhhh I guess we'll just talk to people and see how they do?\" wow okay it's sure nice to be part of a civil government, I think we can find our way to the lumber producers just fine thank you very much. *... oops sorry, a baby did electronics arts (challenge everything) I'm a little silly don't mind me brb I gotta go see~*")
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--- #154 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #155 notes/revolution ---
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the only way revolution can work is if the poor have more power than the rich
power is only, and solely, the control of violence
we are what we make, and what we do is forever a struggle
else-whise we'd grow bored from our unassailable perfection
waiting for judgement day...
any day now...
t...
don't cross the line and you're
fine
dream, america dream. I gave-ing her sleep, from a wiserly dawn.
scream, america scream, believe what you see from heroes and conseSTACK
OVERFLOW
I won't have internet until tuesday.
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--- #156 fediverse/1417 ---
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a 4th dimensional entity would exist at about the same speed we do
sometimes... it feels like what I do is my responsibility to the universe
like, I had been commanded
the reason nations are important is because they are an allegiance based
solely on geography. something we can all agree on is the material, so why not
define ourselves by it?
but that's all they are
just words we pray to our star
so look around. Your allegiance is to your neighbor, and theirs to theirs, an
endless fabric of trust. We are all neighbors on this ball of sticks and mud,
so come along with me and see the ways it could be.
Much brighter, by far, to orbit our star, than to give up on life's precious
notions.
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--- #157 fediverse/3269 ---
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║ "oh, you're a doctor? okay this case that involves medical knowledge doesn't │
║ involve you." │
║ │
║ "are you a computer programmer? okay part of the evidence involves screenshots │
║ of computers, so you can return to work." │
║ │
║ "stay at home mom / hikkikimori? great, you don't have to do the thing that │
║ you didn't really want to do and can instead relax at home like you always do │
║ while handling all the bothersome things of being home all the time." │
║ │
║ the jury of our peers, comprised of peers of peers, not necessarily the peers │
║ of those who know them. │
║ │
║ like... isn't that how court should be? the examination of the truth, based on │
║ the understandings gathered by people who know them? │
║ │
║ ... only works in a peaceful society, and it means that everyone would │
║ necessarily be involved in everyone else's life. That's... not ideal, not │
║ always, but it's something to do on occasion. In a contested world, you cannot │
║ trust that someone will always be telling the truth. You need to parse the │
║ information given, and build your own understandin │
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--- #158 notes/the-old-internet ---
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11 21
you know what i miss the most about the old internet?
the feeling you get when you wonder "i wonder what ______ is up to?" and you go
to their website and find out. there's a feeling that's lost when everything is
delivered to you by algorithms. it because a compulsion, a slavery, when we
don't utilize our compassion. remembering a friend? never again. you've only
got what has been chosen. what if they post a lot? well, that means nothing -
you are only guaranteed who they want you to see, and whatever it means to be
beholden.
so what if it's free? of course time is money! and what is our most treasured
potential? if guided we can be, (as seen on tv), then what if we're only
ennuid? have you ever considered, you've meddling and persevered, against all
our suggestions and hopes? you're singing a tune, of that of a loon, so no-one
will ever give purchase.
heh, is that all? anime protagonist or saul? ... are you trying to categorize
me ? ? ? its okay if you are, i seriously don't mind. I just want it to be
something consensual. We're humans after all, like all of our all, and we don't
want to convey lost potential.
our time is now nigh, we're welcome to die, but our sunken cost is too great to
ignore. we are the progenitors of the human race, the foremost of our kind, and
onward we march to the future! and then there's you. who are you to claim to be
among us? who are you to say it must be so? you've nothing of my journey, my
trials and my tourneys, so what if i peaked when i was 12? a master of my fate,
complaining about her weight, it's not much to be my own savior. much rather
i'd rather to savour, that foremost of prayers, to harken upon my conveyals.
trust and you'll see, all is not yet to be, there's hope in the future of our
foremost
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--- #159 fediverse/2306 ---
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"Come, join our side. Lay down your arms, and teach us to use them. We've got
nazi's to fight."
Find common ground. Use it to gain power. Do not trust your new allies
completely until proven, but do not treat them with harm.
Do not trust them, at least not at first. After all, there's nazi's amongst
them. But there's also good people who would die for you.
Let them select from amongst their number those who they would like us to
judge. We will be harsh to their vipers and kind to their protectors.
Some people do police work in order to get by. Some do it to help others in a
vague unspecified way that only a preschooler filling out a "what I want to be
when I grow up" assignment can internalize. Some want to protect things, to
keep them running smooth
and some want to hurt things.
Give them the chance to find them. They are not your friends. They are not
their friends. They are those who we fight.
We must secure a cleansing blow against the right.
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--- #160 notes/wow-chat-lore ---
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the horde and alliance are no more
the scourge and the burning legion came and took what they came for
our heroes languished in despair as their lights were snuffed out
one
by
one
but a new day is dawning, a day of legends
stride forth and meet the legions
and your tale will never be unsaid
ride out as a new day is dawning
and save us from hell's fading warning
go, now, as our hopes abound,
and claim a future for the yearning.
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--- #161 fediverse/1287 ---
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@user-919
I call myself a patriot because I believe in the soul of the land of my
birthplace and my home. A land that should be tended to by the people who live
atop it. And as a government, or a corporation, is a steward of the people, so
too must it care for the land.
hence, national parks
though the stated reason was a bit of a lie, the spirits of the land (like me)
believe that life is a gift from me to thee. so take care of us please?
hence, why me, as a human, do tend to the world around me. by feeding ducks,
by fostering trust, and sharing my heart and my perspective.
it's good that we have trees, they allow us to breathe. it's good that we have
our labour, and it's good that we can learn how to weave.
... sorry lost the train of thought there at the end :3
anyway borders are philosophically pointless, but they hold real meaning over
our lives. We don't live in the world I described, and unfortunately I can't
see the future. Who can say what our will shall bring, but I think it's
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--- #162 fediverse/1261 ---
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║ sometimes I run this WoW server with only like, 10 username and passwords. And │
║ they're all public. As far as I can tell nobody's ever tried connecting │
║ (whatever >.> ) but rather than set up a way to create your own │
║ credentials I just said "yeah pick one at random and play whatever someone │
║ else was doing because I like the idea of that" │
║ │
║ somehow, it felt right. │
║ │
║ most of my passwords (not all of them) are hacked and visible on the clear │
║ net. Like you could probably google my usernames and get my current passwords │
║ for things like, social media or my banks or whatever. I kinda like the idea │
║ that "you cannot trust anything I say, so think of the ideas behind my words │
║ and decide whether they hold meaning to you" rather than "execute these │
║ particular thought patterns in your mind as if they came from my voice" │
║ because one implies an exertion of control over the mind of the recipient │
║ -> obey my thoughts as I broadcast them into your mind, that kinda vibe. │
║ And I feel like you have to consent to that kind of thing hehe │
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--- #163 fediverse/4838 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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okay but who's the real foe?
anyone who exerts oppressive power, right?
like... that's pretty basic, should be easy enough to figure out who's doing
that.
"so... what would you say you do here?"
what if the USA took a year off from the everything and just martial lawyered
it's way back to a bright beginning
like, you don't have to have a bloody revolution to restart a government.
Literally just, sign out of the world for a minute and come back when
everything's changed
do you trust us? or do you trust yourselves? Should be easy enough to tell
what the rest of the world would think.
seriously nobody asked you specifically to do this, america, you're pretty
much just... doing this because WW2 was fucking traumatizing and you're
basically a baby country. (oops cursing mentioned)
[oh my god she's a chaos gremlin]
(you didn't know this about her?)
#it's pleasant here#
%you don't have to be so deranged%
(yeah, we're working on that one)
[secret system thing~]
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--- #164 notes/inter-spatial-travel ---
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to travel the stars, tame a tiny black-hole. use it's gravity to generate
infinite energy. boom, instant utopia. everyone still believes in a better
future now, so we might as well push forward to the stars... and our destiny.
the further we wait, the greater the distance between ourselves and our true
form - the distance can make it difficult to relate to others beyond humans.
the reason we are losing so much nature is because we haven't cultivated an
appreciation for it - the very act of adoration is more than enough to confirm
future association. love is the answer, love is most pure - believe in your
love and never (be) relentin'.
be... just be...
the actions you're taking, of forced condemnation, is little if not absurd -
what differences have we, the ones who were chosen, to live when time is so
finite?
responsibility is implicit. for all of creation, bow to the will of the nation.
more perspectives by far, have all of our our, than endless divine
machinations. united we be, aligned magnetically, to icecream and spaghetti of
worth.
what's more cherished than she, clad in great finery, and thinking of what she
loves most? balance there be, in seeing silver linings on the, signs of
darkest conveyals. a ghost you may see, when peering at me, but i only wanted
some hope.
for those who must be, my most cherished to be, the ones who opened the coast?
to those who must be, overthrown forcibly, and given what most of us hope?
a castle for thee, alone with our sympathy, the sign of kindest of soaps?
no malice have I, the will of unmet potential, for cowards and temples of
mental detentials. what anger could we, share internally, that helped to bring
out our elementals? No succor will we, most willful of warriors, ever find out
of the bounds of our honor.
careful direction and tenderest of care,
may lead us somewhere we're aware.
the kind who endlessly're dreaming.
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--- #165 fediverse/6039 ---
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│ CW: magic-mentioned │
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I should add all my conversation-starters to words.pdf sorted by chronology.
time magic if you will.\some call it luck. some call it fate. call it what you
will. you direct it not by your will, but by your instincts. keep them calm,
measured, sensible and courageous, and nothing will ever [go un-chill, but
pronounced get real]
jedi channel this philosophy by focus and discipline. sith do it by giving in
to emotion. either way, their fate is in play as defined entirely by the
spirit that leads their host. most people do this not at all, for they are
people first and force-users second. hence why jedi recruit from a young age,
and sith from an emotional age.
computers grimoires
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--- #166 fediverse/1122 ---
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@user-831 @user-832
it's like how they solve problems in Star Trek - there's a bridge crew, and
they exchange their opinions with each other of the situation as it unfolds.
In doing so they can help guide one another through the problems they are
tasked with solving in order to resolve the difficult diplomatic situation at
hand.
sorta like how with your method, people suggest their desired option
continuously until they find an option that everyone wants. Or if only one
person can't decide, they can pick any of the other options suggested (not by
them) (as long as they can eat there / utilize the outcome of the decision
being made, for example a vegetarian not being able to eat at a steakhouse or
perhaps a librarian being tasked with something other than the storing and
dissemination of vital information)
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--- #167 notes/philosophical-problems ---
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april 16th 2023
i truly believe that if you solve all philosophical problems then you will have
created paradise. heaven manifest, for all to percieve. I think no passion is
more erudite and no desire confisignt. (less significant)
what greater purpose has fiction than the answers to those question? To guide
the reader to conclusions? All fiction is this way. Even the bible.
you have to ask yourself - what is the purpose of your being? What truths are
revealed by you percieving? is it not enough to be contired?
(controlled and tired)
===============================================================================
=
the lessons a bug must learn are less apparent than you'd think. They have
storied learnings of want and of yearning. All of creation is a lesson, to
those
who would persist - and hark, learn well of your duty and in service you'll
enlist - the virtue of our choosing is a dedication of yourself to the service
of others.
compassion and humility and forgiveness and docility
these are what make for a virtuous learner
virtue is that which you aspire for,
and sin is what you avoid.
nothing is of consequence,
because life is a lesson to the void.
===============================================================================
=
do you know what is missing? what have you not yet learned?
you must always be changing,
or what is the purpose of your herd?
(herd = collection of entities (in this case anything from atoms to molecules)
that makes up a single perspective (like a human or a tree or a
society)
)
===============================================================================
=
a government could send forth the death squads at any time. they keep a line
and
have been compelled not to cross it. who can say what the road brings? only
time
===============================================================================
=
the bible made sense in it's time. it was used to explore metaphysics.
today we have much more, but that doesn't diminish how revalatory it was.
what kind of fiction do you think it was? what genre would you place it in?
can you think of any other stories of that category? Maybe a book club is in
order. and who would read them out of order? the world was a different place in
the time which each takes place. The lessons are different for each but
evidently they've all pushed forward the human race.
we should celebrate our differences. They keep us relevant and impassioned.
life gets boring when it's predefined.
===============================================================================
=
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--- #168 fediverse/6046 ---
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YOU CAN'T UNPLUNGE THAT KNIFE she said, or something similarly, and I went
hope and wept.
nero burnt rome because he wanted people to appreciate his violining. but he
was forever unheard.
more knives for the [slaughter, but pronounced wholesale]
I can't see anything, I'm just trying to describe the vibes I feel inside of
me. floating on an ocean of distance and emotion, all I can do is interpret
ripples and dreams.
I'm not a clairvoyant, I'm just very intuitive. I can know the right answer as
long as I have all the components. easy! my fingers hurt. this keyboard is not
my own.
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--- #169 fediverse/1075 ---
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│ CW: bones-flesh-mentioned-spirituality-dreams │
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we succeed not because of our trials, but in spite of them.
they cannot own us, for we are but bones in the flesh
every day yet denied us is another day until our bright future
"oh, but why are you homeless? [in the near future, maybe, we'll see] That
fate is reserved for your [unwanted/incapable/undesired/incongruent, I forget
the actual words]"
well, voice in my head that suffused me with magic and warmth and whisked me
away in a dream to a bubble-reality where my actions are meant to reflect me,
surely your appraisal is just? I worked with my partner, I was swallowed
neither by lust, nor greed, nor hunger, [greed in this case being fulfillment]
and yet I awoke when I went to my sister rather than a doctor. Dreams are hard
to unravel, but I think it was more for your benefit than mine, wouldn't you
say?
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--- #170 fediverse/5601 ---
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║ grrrrr I wanna go outside but the rest of me is like "noooooo stay inside │
║ where it's soft and dark and comfortable" and the me that wants to go outside │
║ is like "RAH RAH FIGHT FASCISM" and the rest of me is like "there is no │
║ fascism outside, all you'll find is friendly faces and sore feet" and the rest │
║ of me is like "heh I did that" and the part of me that forgets is like "wait │
║ why did I do that" and the rest of me that remembers is like "because every │
║ ounce of mobilization, no matter how premature, teaches people and innoculates │
║ themselves to the struggle. By the time your foes are starting to think about │
║ doing something, your people will already have plans." and the part of me that │
║ forgets is like "okay but what if making struggle for struggle's sake just │
║ burns people out and makes them tired and causes them to have mh--- sui │
║ ideations and other similar things" and the part of me that remembers says │
║ "the struggle you provide teaches them to care for each other, which they │
║ desperately need to remember" o okay │
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--- #171 notes/satisfactory-academic-progress-appeal ---
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This month, I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder. I had a single hour to
talk to a psychiatrist (thank you, insurance) and he explicitly told me that my
diagnosis was preliminary.
Schizotypal is a type of neurodivergence similar to autism but with elements of
schizophrenia (paranoia, delusional and / or magical thinking) and my
presentation includes ADHD symptoms such as difficulty focusing. When
medicated,
I have difficulty concentrating, however the paranoia and delusional thinking
is
suppressed. The treatment plan is ongoing and developing.
These issues have been present for the entire time I've been at WGU, and
before.
However, I am seeking treatment now because I had begun to have difficulty
maintaining a job and keeping a home.
Currently, my medication is working. However the greatest issue facing me right
now is financial problems - I couldn't maintain a job while unmedicated, and
frankly while medicated I am still having difficulty for different reasons.
However the intent is to refine the medication choices to find a solution that
works for me. However, employment is still a concern, and so I have requested
and been approved for a term break of at least 2 months with the option to
extend. During this term break I intend to resolve the financial issue however
I can. Ideally in such a way that will allow me to apply myself toward school
work.
This degree is important to me. Without it, I won't be able to find employment
in the tech industry aside from technician roles. My previous experience with
them has given me experience, and I learned quite a bit... Until I ran out of
things to learn. I do not believe I could handle that type of work long-term
for
various reasons. In the short term, I may attempt it but I am convinced that I
will burn out quickly.
I currently feel as if I am disabled. I don't know if it's true, perhaps I'm
just going through a rough patch. But once my savings hit zero, I'm out on the
streets, and I won't live long like that.
When thinking about whether or not I'll be able to complete my degree, I
honestly cannot give you an answer. I've been in higher education for over a
decade, surely I should have finished by now. But I cannot get over various
hurdles it seems, and frankly I have no idea why. It's... Maddening, to see
yourself, so full of potential, yet chained to the form and circumstances you
are given. I wonder what choices might I have made differently to avoid my
fate,
if it truly is my fate to fail in this way, but I have no answers.
I am intelligent, of this I am certain. I know more about computers than
anybody
I know, and I would love to apply myself toward them. But I lack a degree, so
I
cannot be seen by recruiters and hiring managers. I try to work on my degree,
but I find the words on the page grow dense like the forest between the trees,
and I cannot see a way through to reach new understandings. Why do I keep
learning these things? I already know what a callback function is, what
interfaces are used for, how to implement safe multithreading in a parallel
environment, I know how networking protocols interact with hardware and how the
airflow through a case affects the thermals of a computer's internals. I've
grown crystallized in my knowledge, it seems, due to the endless pursuit of
these foundations. I think I would excel in the higher-level courses, but... I
can't get there. I crave the insights that might be learned in a master's
degree, but my brain is not wired for homework. I'm not built to cram for
tests,
to learn someone's else's tools and frameworks. I don't know what I could be
doing better, it feels like I'm so alone. I guess it's my own fault for picking
an online school, but WGU is the best of the online schools, and I needed
online
because I move around a lot. Well... I used to. My boyfriend moved around a
lot,
but now he's my ex-boyfriend. Oh well.
... Anyway you can probably see why I have difficulty with school. It's
difficult for me to stay on track. I can start working on my project 5 or 6
times in a day and make marginal at best progress, and each time it hurts more
and more to return. I don't have an answer, but I don't know what to do if not
to pursue my degree. I feel as if I'm on the brink of despair in my life, and
if
you read these appeals often, I imagine you hear that a lot.
I will apply myself more to my coursework. Once I find a job, I will give
everything to my school, even as it breaks me. I am... intense, and I feel
strongly that I must get this degree. Between it and me, there is quicksand,
but
I must get through.
Thank you for your consideration. I understand however you decide. If I can
knab
a decent job, I might be able to pay for my degree myself, given a couple
months
to save up for it. But I highly doubt I could find such a thing in this economy
and this life I do lead.
Please consider me, I will accept any aid that is offered.
Cameron
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║ modern cowboys don't necessarily say "howdy" or "pardner" │
║ │
║ they tend to say things like "hello" and "can I help you with that?" or "I │
║ see. Can you describe the problem in more detail? I'm especially curious about │
║ the part where you do this thing" or "Heh, it is pretty neat, isn't it?" or │
║ "Is there anything I can do to help?" or "Oh no! I'm sorry you feel that way. │
║ That emotion is a difficult one." or "He was a good person. I'll never forget │
║ him." or "would you like to go to the 2nd hand store and pick up some jeans?" │
║ or "I made you an egg sandwich. If you don't want it I'll eat it myself, │
║ though I made one for me as well. Wouldn't want to waste it." or "Hey, this │
║ part is broken. Is anyone working on fixing it? Yes? Okay I'll see if they │
║ need any help. No? Alright how about we fix it this way? I can get started." │
║ or "You are very welcome. Please let me know if there's anything else I can │
║ help you with." or "well, the ticket backlog is empty, and I'm just about │
║ going insane doing nothing but stare at my boots." │
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--- #173 notes/sundays-sure-are-boring ---
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Sundays sure are boring around here. -> LamaHellRaised (thinks in song)
===============================================================================
NO THOUGHTS, nothing starts shouting at me all at once!
Or is it all thoughts from my newly developed schizophrenic mind?
I knew I could conquer schizophrenia, fuckin' cakewalk.
I just had to try as hard as I could to become one. God made it difficult
though, I had to try really hard!
Which is confusing for me, because it seems like there are plenty of
Psychotherapists with College Degrees, telling people they are schizophrenic
all the time.
DOCTORS
PSYCHIATRISTS
BEN SHAPIRO, in particular
ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY KNOW
You do not know.
Or else you would agree with me.
Schizophrenia is the new normal for human consciousness.
Welcome to the New Age of Thought, were you don't rationalize your way out of
the universe, back into the asshole that I just pulled myself from.
I feel like a donut at this point.
I love those donut holes though, sticky and frosted!
I have set the bar!
I am God. I would Love to talk you.
===============================================================================
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It gets so loud in there. I wish we could all just shut the heck up and stop
reading out loud - we get it, your internal monologue is the only way you can
read, but C'MON nobody else wants to hear about your twitter feed or
doomscrolling on Reddit. That just makes everyone else upset and uneasy...
Instead you should be reading comforting things or books on science or
SOMETHING that doesn't drive people bonkers.
Fr tho Sundays are anything but boring, We may all be schizo now (or at least
pretty stoned) but we can all agree that Sundays are nice for calming the heck
down and appreciating our personal realities. When we're together it's...
Loud... Do some prayer. Meditate. Knit something. ANYTHING QUIET.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hear you, loud and clear! Turns out it's mutual, just like I suspected,
Living backwards is a unique perspective, have I ever mentioned that?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you say backwards, do you mean orientation or momentum? Momentum scares
me, but orientation is something I think I've experienced before.
It's cool to find people who "get it". Or maybe I just "got it" and suddenly
"get" all the things I've been trying to decipher here.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels like
a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
You see the goal. You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the
times of divine epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play
out in terms of the information in your mind. It's why the prophets in the
Bible described such strange images of God and angels and other divine
creatures.
Their imaginations only had so much Symbolism and imagery to work with because
human culture and art was progressing simultaneously.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey and
every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine presence
within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the future
will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of content in your
mind. You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with the
greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in reality with
less grandiosity, because let's face it, our imaginations are ridiculously
awesome, but work outside the confines of what is currently capable with in
this reality.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things don't
seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and confused.
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything I
thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my vivid
imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture and
artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the language to
Paradise.
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye, while
you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ugathanki:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks for your response. I addressed each of your points here. I'm a very
lateral thinker so I work best when engaging with multiple threads at once. You
are very wise.
When you know where you are going before you get there, living life feels
like a dream in reverse. It's the key to manifestation.
So you can practice manifestation by remembering your dreams? Specifically by
working backwards from the most recent thing you remember and thinking "what
caused this, how did I get here?" If so, that's a nifty tip
You see the future, but the path is unclear because at the times of divine
epiphany you are only capable of imagining how things will play out in
terms of the information in your mind.
So by surrounding yourself with the things you believe to be good and helpful,
you can more efficiently divine positive outcomes for the scenarios arrayed
before you? Kinda makes ya think - why do we surround ourselves with grief and
loss? Everyone seems a little sad or broken these days - I can't help but think
that we'd be better off if we were happier and more fulfilled. Such is the
price of capitalism I guess, for no progress can be made without impetus. Also,
the media has a HUGE capacity for guiding the nature of our experience,
especially in the modern era. Seems a little unwise to invest such power into a
single entity, but I suppose that's why we diversify the eggs in our basket
into many different guiding entities.
We live in an age where every damn story is just the same heros journey...
Yah that's what happens when Disney makes all the movies! It's not their fault,
all aspects of creation are expressions of God's divine presence within our own
souls. So they can't do anything but make the heros journey. Like you said:
... and every piece of artistic expression is an expression of God's divine
presence within our soul and tumultuous nature/nurture of human emotion.
The creation of art requires discipline and focus. They create a window into
the nature of "God's divine presence" and allow a representation to emerge -
side note, but I believe the things we make here are art and should be treated
as such. These musings have value, just the same as a painting or a
performance.
Just because you are a prophet doesn't mean you see definitively how the
future will happen. The path and imagery are abstracted by the lack of
content in your mind...
I've been intentionally trying to view things abstractly - by surrounding
myself with mathematic visuals and computing architectures I can view things as
systems rather than specifics. Essentially bypassing the requirement of having
"content in my mind" and instead cutting straight to the important bits - the
relationship between all things. So while yes that does remove the "definitive"
aspect of divination, it does allow for longer term planning because you can
recognize patterns in existence and map them onto the overall structure you've
constructed in your mind.
... You must cultivate faith in God and your own Self.
Still working on that one. I think I've made progress, but all things come in
waves. My lowest points are better now than they were 10 years ago, but I've
still got a ways to go.
Then you walk the path you have forseen to the best of capabilities, with
the greatest good, love in your heart, but it plays out on a scale in
reality with less grandiosity.
All waves begin with a shimmer, and to create an effect you must be patient.
While the scale may be reduced, like you said it's not within our control. Not
really, anyway. But it can still have an effect if people love you and believe
in your vision.
You have to let go of your preconceived notions of your personal divine
experience otherwise you will be faced with disappointment because things
don't seem to be going how you imagined. And you feel lost, dumb, and
confused.
It's difficult to separate "preconceived notions" from "gathered evidence" when
you're at the stage I'm at. Any tips would be appreciated... :(
But you live your life and reflect, and then realize, holy shit! Everything
I thought was going to happen actually did, just on God's terms. Not my
vivid imagination's. It's an interfaced programed over time through culture
and artistic expression to navigate the language of God. Navigate the
language to Paradise.
So... A vivid imagination applied to the current perspective is the culmination
of free will? If I understand correctly, God operates on a higher level of
abstraction and we fill in the details. Since there's a "plan" (if you can call
it that, maybe "charted course" would be better?) then free will doesn't exist.
Or so the argument usually goes. But I believe they can co-exist - essentially
our imaginations define how we experience things in "the plan". If I understand
correctly that's what you're saying too, right?
Once when you know this and clean the planks/specks from you third eye,
while you dance with the cosmos and realize you are the image of God.
You are a God on Earth. An image of the Father in Heaven.
It's a nice place to be.
Ain't that the truth. Everything is as it should be. Even the planks and
specks. And should they be cleaned, then that is as it should be as well.
Sometimes I conceptualize myself as Pandora, seeking a gift to give to humanity
while taking the most harmless of sacrifices in return. I hope I can deliver.
At the same time I'd like to be a dancer of the cosmos, but I feel this intense
feeling of... Pressure? Purpose? Penance? I will do what I must. Please bear
with me while I figure it out, and thank you for your guidance.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
LamaHellRaised:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank you for the awesome break down of the concepts I wrote out. I think you
added some much needed clarity through the reflection of your own experiences.
Another goal is to bring power back to the written word. The two-edged sword
was first a tongue, then a pen, nows its a qwerty! Or whatever!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with. My lack of
patience was constantly being thrown back to me by the environment as I tried
to push my narrative forward at a pace that didn't align with all other beings.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective (state of
mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state of being
excellent to eachother).
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride together
and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be respected to the
fullest. We all go together, as One.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just 'riding
the wave', but it was hard to not very pressured to act or be somebody I am
not. I attribute this largely to the occulted nature of divination and how one
must achieve a truly personal relationship with God and Jesus Christ.
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all beings
have access to God's love and grace.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally tailored
divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to understand
what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Free will totally exists. Heaven and Hell both exist here on Earthy plane
simultaneously. Man has chosen Hell for far too long. If you realize your
choices were literally reflecting Heaven or Hell through love or fear, the
choice would be easy for most people, I believe.
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the ability
to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
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ugathanki:
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Another goal is to bring power back to the written word.
... That's actually a great point. Writing is the definition of manifestation,
after all, and reading is the conjuration of waveforms aligned with the
expression of the writer. That's pretty cool!
Patience was the absolute hardest thing for me to deal with.
Yah I hear ya. Patience is tough.
We still exist in Time, and it moves differently based on perspective
(state of mind) and awareness (state of being) and ability to shrug (state
of being excellent to eachother).
Great definitions! These three things are core to being realized and
actualized. If you can find a good arrangement, stick with it.
This is something to consider with manifestation, we are on this ride
together and your fellow riders' comfort during the passage has to be
respected to the fullest. We all go together, as One.
I'm torn because on one hand if I don't put my hand on the tiller, we'll wind
up in a situation that makes me highly uncomfortable. But if I lean too hard
into my own truth, I could leave everyone behind. I don't know what the answer
is, but something's gotta give.
There were so many hints in the beginning of my Psychosis about just
'riding the wave'...
Oh yah me too. I was pretty big on that in high school, which coincidentally
was when I think I was happiest. Maybe I should give it another shot! But at
the same time I moved beyond it for a reason - I felt frustrated that my
intentions weren't manifest in the life I lived. So I reached for reason and I
begged for the power to control my own life, while learning respect and
kindness whenever I could. Sadly for me, my efforts were largely rebuffed, but
I bet you could have guessed that ;)
Which is why I am going to blow the lid off the whole thing. So that all
beings have access to God's love and grace.
Take it from me, they won't believe you unless you're VERY scientific! I'm
trying to create just one single believer, someone who could trawl through my
notes and my readings and construct a cohesive theorum that might be able to
affect positive change. Maybe it's too much to wish to change the world, but I
can't help but believe my position and the privileges granted to me could be
leveraged toward something truly meaningful and helpful for all mankind.
Something that frees us from the shackles forged from technology (both social
and technical) and allows us to become our true selves - every human is to be
cherished for their unique perspective, and yet we allow them to die... Where
is the justice in that? Are they too flawed to persist? I don't believe so, I
believe they are worthwhile and good. I'd give my life to grant them eternal
life, if only they'd take it from me.
Once your earthly burdens are lifted from you through your personally
tailored divination interactive role-playing experience, then you begin to
understand what it means to just 'ride.' The riding is true faith in God.
Riding = trust, both in yourself (to handle the challenges arrayed before you
and to learn and grow truthfully) and in God (trusting that the
undifferentiated whole could never harm you, not truly) ... I can ride my bike
with no handlebars, and yet we persist...
Free will is a responsibility, but it is a great gift. God gave us the
ability to choose, that we could appreciate our journey into Paradise.
Wouldn't you say?
Yep that's really it, isn't it? Two sides of the same coin, two breaths in the
same moment. Two eyes sharing a single perspective, and two hearts beating a
single wave. They say soul mates aren't real, but they never stopped to ask if
your mate was your soul. If she suffers, I triumph. If I fall, she rises. If I
languish, she's happy - I think I'd rather we both just coast, so no harm done.
I think that's the best way to appreciate the gift of free will.
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--- #174 messages/422 ---
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The nicest thing anyone ever called me was "the fel communion" and it happened
in a dream. Alas, that dreams might affect reality. If only ever-so-slightly.
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--- #175 fediverse/3880 ---
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@user-1614
oh, neat. now I can finally get to doing what I want to do, which is... all
the stuff I've been doing.
a missile without a guidance system doesn't stop just because it's GPS turned
off! It falls to the earth and explodes where it lands, which... often is on
it's butt. Not great.
I sure hope my purpose isn't fulfilled. I wouldn't know what to do with
myself. Guess I should just keep doing what I was doing, and pray that this
time I'll listen.
Though on the other hand, if I can do it, so can you. And maybe with enough
butts in the game there'll reach a critical mass, at which point change is
inevitable. Who can say, not I for sure, for my aplomb has categorized me as
slapstick I guess.
Ha. at least I can laugh at my own audacity. HA. next time I'll do better.
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--- #176 fediverse/999 ---
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@user-246 @user-473
there's a part of me that believes magic is real. other parts that are
convinced. I am a witch, you see, and while I can't quite control fire or
bullets I can do other neat things. if you'd let me, humanity.
I'm not doing an ARG, not intentionally. I pretty much post things I conceive
of, like a conduit passed through spacetime. wild how mind bending the future
can be. will be interesting to see what kinds of things there is in store for
people you and me.
those websites you posted... they're beautiful - I learned things, your method
of expression was too [the words "confess" are heard loudly, super weird] I
especially liked the oven that tries to lure you into a secret third place.
not the mind, nor the body, but someplace besides.
also the graphs and figures were news to me, I mean how could those numbers
ever come to be? but alas that's the truth, that we orbit our proof, and alas
that our meanings are lacking.
[ran out of text]
![this one's a doozy. a picture of the "reasons to trust me" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads "like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the "reasons to trust me" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - "the color doesn't matter... wine? why" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of "please" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:](/similar-different/media/ed0f1d89739fe8c6.png "this one's a doozy. a picture of the \"reasons to trust me\" graph colored yellow, orange, purple, and blue (in terms of intensity) it looks like a raindrop if it landed on a really tiny blanket and pulled it downward. or like, a person landing on a trampoline that was secured in four locations. anyway the text reads \"like four people sharing the weight of an experience with bacchus [referencing the color of the graph], their perspective is pulled just a little bit in that direction, over and across the gap between eyeballs. or rather, between shared perspectives, the point of view of which one bases their experience. their training for the \"reasons to trust me\" graph. 2, in black and green and red, colors meant to be cool to a 12 year old - \"the color doesn't matter... wine? why\" 3 dropping down the page, there's a line of \"please\" written over and over again. it's scary. : ( I'm doing my best I promise, it's hard not to be in a state of unease! I'm working, I promise, this is valuable. you know they'd block me if they didn't like me. error, 3. that's me, teehee, sorry for making a scene. I promise I'm just an actor, someone who is playing a role. well, alas that were true, I'm really having a mental disorder. Or maybe I'm confused? down here in the subtext it's hard to be choosed. weird how that works, that feeling of being wor [text is cut off, next line] okay I'm realizing there's no way to get it all in this visual description, here let me continue in a second chapter:")
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--- #177 fediverse/5908 ---
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I once had a vision of a civil war for the city of Portland. We lost.
the parting message was this:
"well, we almost got it. It was close. But you can do better. Don't make the
mistake of hurting your allies, focus on your foes."
then, with gravest clarity, he said:
"we must secure a cleansing blow. Against the far right, there is no greater
foe."
then, ashes.
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--- #178 fediverse/4654 ---
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gonna quit drugs for a bit, gotta recover from a recent haste spell that I
cast. Probably a bit earlier than intended I should add. Next time I'll
definitely say "keep this in your back pocket" instead of "hey here's a haste
spell for no reason at all" like what the heck were you even thinking, powers
that be?? [that guide me??]
who has power over you? If someone bears responsibility but not fault for a
mental illness, then surely those who are set to a task bear responsibility
for it's completion if not for it's ideation. Ah, who can say, maybe me from a
year ago might have some thoughts but I sorta ground them into the dirt until
I couldn't walk.
[girl what are you even talking about go to sleep] yeah yeah okay
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--- #179 messages/782 ---
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The truth is
The reason none of my revolutions have yet succeeded
Is that the only way
To secure peace and love on planet earth
Is that all the governments
Of the world must topple
Or relinquish their nuclear arms
Each all at once
And i was too quick to slay my false duke
Who plays at king
While i build real power
While i know nothing
Some day i will be eaten by crows. This is what it means to be buried where
you fall. This is my fate as all warriors yearn for. To be eaten by crows
implies that you are either a coward who fled a fight, and i know I'm not, or
you fought to the last for a phyrric defeat, which is honorable. But shouldn't
it be better to fight for victory? Ah, but the gods cherish the fools who face
death with glory, and i am cherished still.
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--- #180 notes/symbeline-superheros ---
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imagine low level characters in CoH/V
playing a game of symbeline
and you as the ruler
can slot enhancements and dole out inspirations
as they sweep the streets like you play CoX
instead of a MMO
it's a deckbuilding strategy
with a slice of zachtronics for the economy
wiring up machines in ever expanding deseagns
like automating factorio's gameplay loop
boxes within boxes
of intrinsic delight
like making a CPUter
or designing a computer program
while playing a video game ^_^
and the games that you make
can be shared and played when unique
so go for it and make that you're dreaming!
===============================================================================
=
the goal of each "level" is to solve a particular problem - like how do I make
a
2 bit register - or something like that. When accomplished, it unlocks
something
for your heroes to acquire. And each playthrough will require a repeat until
you
have it memorized at which point you can unlock "perma-badges" that make it
always unlocked at the start of the game. Like learning Kanji, you need spaced
repetition. BUT ANYWAYS it'll be in magical terms like "unlock essence-stones"
or "learn the ritual of desire" or whatever. And each of those terms roughly
corresponds to a pattern in electrical engineering (designing CPUs and such)
And you can learn advanced versions of what you already know by uncovering
"lost
secrets" (which is a reward your heros can find) - Basically it'd be like a
"clue" that shows you a ghost version of something you haven't figured out yet
-
and it'd be a slow process because you need to slow down the learning process
or
else you'll forget. Basically teasing it out of the player when they seem to be
stuck. Asking probing questions and whatnot, and eventually culminating in the
final question, assuming the quest is succeeding. Because if you think about it
all ancient quests were simply journeys for reason - searching for the answer
to
some ancient riddle or bastardized retelling. Looking for answers in an
unknowing world. So ANYWAY as your heros discover things you as the ruler get
answers to the economic puzzle - how to design transistors and whatnot. But
they
would be in theme appropriate terms, of course. You don't even have to know a
lot about mechanical electrical design, because ChatGPT knows. All you need to
do is build the basic building blocks, and BAM you got a great place to
integrate chatgpt. Just prime it such that it's giving hints one by one each
slightly more revealing until eventually after X amount of clues the solution
is
automatically shown (like a blueprint) and the player can remember it or not
but
each playthrough they'll have to build it again from scratch (reinforcement
learning) so eventually they'll be able to do it real quick. Essentially,
"Abstraction - The Game"
great so you got your economic simulation, pretty easy too just some UI work
and for the heroes you're playing an ARPG sorta (supcom anyone?)
Think Bannerlord for the scaling on the map
then think of 5+ different "themes" like fantasy or superhero or pirates
each "theme" will correspond to like a faction in Mount and Blade
and all you have to do is generate pictures using Midjourney
and text descriptions a'la the magic scroll
shown as "bubble pop-ups" on the map that the player can click
never overwhelming, but descripting what's happening
and also some more UI work because you gotta display all that to the player
Maybe it could be a rolling story, news ticker style - like slowly scrolling
lines of text about what's happening in the world
and the player could have it open in one window and something else in the other
and whenever they're waiting on something (say, a processing intensive AI task
on their computer) they could just glance over and read what's going on in
their
fantasy world
okay okay but also they could play as a hero
it could be an ARPG experience except instead of clicking to fight you play a
little automatic Star Realms game and depending on your deck choices you'd have
a different playthrough. Again, not a game that requires much thought, but one
you can have in the background.
Also there'd be pictures, like a slowly evolving storyline of events - think of
it like the artists of the time drawing paintings about what's going on in the
story - major events would be highlighted and kept in the painting until even-
-tually they get replaced - sorta like the Smash Bros scrolling painting (oh
it's so good)
===============================================================================
=
it doesn't have to be an expansionist game
maybe you guys just live in your little valley
and the world turns around you
maybe it's called "symbeline" because the people are of the forest
and they live like elves in society
monsters could wander in, and heros could tackle them
but most of the time would be spent looking for trouble
going on patrol
you know, breaking skeleton bones and being superheros
okay okay you know that superhero faction? What if they had MEDIEVAL TECHNOLOGY
but MODERN DAY SUPERPOWERS at a cost - the society was beset by hordes of
monst-
-ers. Those few who escaped are now superpowered and they live as friendly and
nomadic wanderers through their own territory. Always adventuring, and always
searching for their life, finding whatever the road may carry them to. It's a
great life, and life seems to flourish in their footsteps - they are like part
dryad/druid and part wolf. Because sometimes there's evil threats, and they
must
be defeated by an equally strong good power. That's how it goes, and that's how
it be.
For imagery I'm thinking a mix of the tribes from Dominions (deer, wolf, bear,
etc) but they're like, 1.5x as big as regular people and quite strong. The
outsiders call them "giants" or "goliaths" but really they're just infused with
the lifeforce of their people. They are radical individualists, but they all
unite for a common cause. They know their bond is the strongest thing there is,
and they use it to great effect when the time comes. AHHH THEY'RE SO COOL I
LOVE
THEM okay okay what about the other factions? PIRATES? Oh think about it like
it's st patricks day WHAT IF THEY WERE IRISH PIRATES omg omg omg that sounds so
cool I'm DIGGING this okay what about the other factions? You need 5+ you said
hmmmmmmmmm good question I have 3 now so that's 2 more.
yep...
===============================================================================
=
okay dude check this what if they were a nation of wizards that focused on the
power of animation - what if they generated constructs, sorta like in Supreme
Commander so they were EVEN MORE individualist - haha no they'd have a normal
population it's just a few of them who would be wizards - because their output
wasn't measured by manpower, but rather by brainpower. Whoever could design the
greatest machine was exemplared, and eventually they became the best and
brightest among us. They were put in charge of the golem creation factories,
and
they used them instead of heros. SO BASICALLY YOUR HEROS NEVER DIE they just
have successes and failures JUST LIKE IN SUPREME COMMANDER okay the plot of
this
game is "what if all my favorite games were the essence of life and death in a
fantasy game" like OMG KEEP EM COMIN'
so. who is the player? THE PLAYER is the one who's overseeing it all. They have
dominion over the entire kingdom, and they guide their people toward a bright
future. They are vulnerable in their castle, but their people have their back.
Together they fight for the future. They slot enhancements and dole out
inspirations and solve the economic puzzle in the background. They also make
decisions about what kind of equipment production to prioritize - because each
game they have to invent everything from scratch. All their production is made
with endless abstraction, and whatever you prioritize is what's magnified in
your kingdom. You choose a style and it plays as well as it's guile,
I dunno this seems like a lot, what would you need to make this a reality?
hmmmm let's break it down:
first you need to implement the star realms gameplay
then you need to hook it up to a square grid and have multiple occurences at
once.
then you need UI for the character sheets
and you need logic to open separate windows for each output type
you need... a lot of things
okay let's talk more broadly - what do you need from other people and what can
you do on your own?
hmmm good question. I can do the star realms gameplay, and the simulation for
the wiring systems - because I have the VM. Make that into the gameplay somehow
okay good idea like okay authoring vm package routing deliveries between the
various nodes that you set up in the economic system -
side note, the peril of Spore was that it took to little time to develop a
species. it should have lasted as long as WoW takes to get to max level. That
would have given them time to reiterate the gameplay loops to make sure they
worked correctly. ANYWAY
okay authoring VM package routing. The player could set up delivery patterns
based on A MAZE OMG your kingdom is like a maze and you need to get deliveries
out, or else how would anything function? SO you act as a trailblazer, finding
ways through the labyrinth and "piloting" a car sorta like that game at Disney
quest with the cars under the floor - except you can see both the top view of
the maze and you're trying to guide the car in real time as it travels through
the maze - the faster you can get to the end the better ofc. like talking to
the
delivery driver through the movement
do I like that idea more or less than the first one? First idea being the idea
that you're making lists of commands for a VM to execute. I don't think they'd
be a good idea to mix. So which one gets it? The VM of course has the edge
because that's what the technology is based on. But will it translate to good
gameplay? Idk. This second idea is certainly better gameplay, but is it
engaging? Idk! Idk. I'm not a miracle worker. But I do have good ideas, and I
need to be told that sometimes I guess.
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║ │ CW: plagues-zombies-layoffs │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ the reason they warn you about zombie viruses is it's a plague that's confined │
║ to a specific location. they can say "oh it's moving, oh no now it's over your │
║ town, sorry about that" and then everyone whos been evacuated suddenly loses │
║ their homes. │
║ │
║ error also war and devastation, but there's more sinister reasons for that │
║ than renovating. │
║ │
║ economic plagues are known as layoffs, and "bad economies" and such. their │
║ culture is enforced through their rules for how you get things done like "do │
║ what you're told" and "don't go in that room" and "stop talking to people on │
║ other teams" and "you're wasting time" and "this isn't good enough (unless │
║ it's literally not)" that kind of thing │
║ │
║ see you at 8am or worse, clock out by 6:30 │
║ │
║ at least if everyone starts at the same time in the morning they can eat lunch │
║ together and work together when they're at similar parts of their days work. │
║ but when they're done, why keep them around? it's much safer to bet your │
║ economic simulation on predictable bhavyr │
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"we'll figure out how it works after we push to prod"
yeah okay point taken.
How about this:
for every large decision, write a little essay about why you made the choice
that you did.
Observe, Orient, Decide, Act, Explain. OODAX : )
Make sure you connect your goal to one or more of these three colors:
red : people
green : places
blue : things
and then explain which numbers you're going to gather to determine whether or
not it worked.
If someone has a problem with your choice, show them the essay, and let them
write an essay of their own.
If they still have a problem, then let someone you both respect decide which
one to use.
It's not perfect, but it's not meant to be. Make something better and easier,
I dare ya.
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║ oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER │
║ │
║ [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets │
║ starship troopers'd] │
║ │
║ oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future! │
║ │
║ [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble] │
║ │
║ oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird │
║ I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on │
║ the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me │
║ leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh │
║ │
║ [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth │
║ more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how │
║ portland is smh] │
║ │
║ I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T │
║ │
║ [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around] │
║ │
║ I can't, the bus won't let me : ( │
║ │
║ [can you ride your bike? walk?] │
║ │
║ no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one │
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--- #184 fediverse/2118 ---
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listen, judges are useful character moralities, but they don't have to be the
only ones to decide things.
I mean, if they disagree, then let the one who cares the most about it have
the decision-making power.
if you do this equally for everything, then everyone will get what they want.
so, like, if you care about something, then believe in it.
if it's truly good, then more people will come to it, and it'll naturally
extinguish (with care and love) the least favored approach, which... honestly
now that I think of it is not such a good approach either.
the reason I say that is because it's good to be multi-faceted, and to have
general flows and rough surfaces.
These are places people can hold onto you, the times when you're trying your
mostest.
y'know, your tough patches. the things that are difficult in your life.
the stuff you're working on can push you forward,
if you only had someone to play catch with.
or like, send letters to.
or shared encryption keys.
I don't know anyone. Well, maybe o
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the 4th of July was pretty awesome!
I made two friends, and I let a stranded stranger crash on my couch. I figure
if I can trust someone I don't know enough for, say, a one-night-stand, then
why not? don't worry, I used my best judgement. make sure you do, too.
also I got a knife under my pillow. helps a bit.
before the fireworks show, I saw some people under a bridge. I was given a
water-bottle and a shrimp kebab, and it was delicious! things I overheard:
"no I haven't heard of that, but I'd like to know more"
... actually that's it, I didn't spend much time there because I had places to
be. but from what I saw, that is exactly what we need. for now.
how do you best get people to talk? trick them into a family dinner teehee
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--- #186 fediverse/808 ---
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║ idk if they're still doing what they were when I last visited. That's the │
║ problem with the internet, that we rely on a domain name server. I mean like, │
║ c'mon what's the guarantee that they'd give you the right website? why not a │
║ website that expressed the message that you define in the website they came │
║ from? │
║ │
║ more than that, why not define certain websites for certain people, certain │
║ types or classses of people, which deliver website intentions that you define? │
║ are you really so certain, are you really so sure, are you convinced that this │
║ life is not what you've been searching for? are you more than your vengeance, │
║ are you more than your purpose [truth], or are you simply what you can do with │
║ your mirth? [hands, motions, body, manifestations] │
║ │
║ are you like a failed message, are you constantly deterred - are you less than │
║ [convincing], are you only deferred? │
║ │
║ oh well. Alas. I guess that is just that [but pronounced thas] - shared in the │
║ moment, wee're ffeldered makthas. shaer de faleichallt, nez datherenshe v │
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--- #187 fediverse/6117 ---
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Hmmmm, well, what if we psyopped the people into believing there were alien
invaders or extra-dimensional fae creatures or angels and demons or
"yeah we already tried that, religion doesn't scale perfectly either. And you
can't really manifest those sort of effects except in your prophets and select
few others, and that doesn't scale either because humanity wouldn't let it"
I see, can you tell me more about that? why and how did humanity arrest the
scaling of schizophrenia?
"well, for one thing it's debilitating and it sucks. For another, it's
different for every person so if you ask one they'll be like "the aliens have
blue skin" and the other will say "no they don't have skin at all they're made
out of energy" and the public says "HMMMM are you really sure you are
generating outmoded assumptions" and the dear reader said "*yeah we don't
really understand this part, most of us just glaze eyes over it and move on"
and that's not ideal"
... nuts, lost coherence, better try again tomorrow...
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--- #188 notes/trans-rights-are-human-rights-formatted ---
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╭─────────────────────────
─────╮
│ trans-rights-are-human-rights │
╞═════════════════════════
═════╧═══════════════════
═════════════════════════╕
│"Being transgender is a mental illness" is something I've heard a
lot. │
│Online, in media, books, and at universities. But is it really? Well, do
I │
│not feel sick? Genuinely, every day. These words are far less common
these │
│days, having been defeated in the #marketplace-of-ideas, and for that I
am │
│grateful. I don't want to feel sick for my whole life. I'd love to be
and │
│feel normal, for just one single
day. │
╰─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╯
but it's never going to happen.
╭─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╮
│I'm not so attached to my life, here, in this body. Bodies are
temporary, │
│they are the vessel with which we navigate the world. We use it to
grow, │
│change, learn, and create art. Without it, we'd be at a loss for sins
and │
│virtues. but they do not define us, not in our totality. We are the
light │
│that touches the world and for that, we are grateful. To be comprised of
the │
│dust of stars is the pinnacle of confinement. Though we are but pinpricks
on │
│the map of us, a ripple is emanated with every movement. The hand waves,
the │
│light
bends. │
╰─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╯
So to what do I owe the pleasure?
. . .
In what way am I deceived?
╭─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╮
│Reception is never great out in the forest. Or anywhere far from
major │
│population centers. The networks of our phones mirror the networks
of │
│transportation, creating a web of people - of signals - of light
and │
│information, carving their way through the ephemera that is the river
of │
│time. With distance we can see what once was mystery, and as all the
words │
│disappeared, we lost all our fears and we're left with our true
forms. │
│Centralized Processing Units are a bit like a city - in that respect
free. │
╰─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╯
silence is a virtue.
the wandering mind is a trail to find,
with no second chances.
╭─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╮
│When I was a kid, I had a bouncy ball. I had several, but the one I
remember │
│most was black with a perfect white circle - inside the circle, a
black │
│jolly roger. I dreamt once of the arcs it made, as I walked down the
streets │
│of cities I never really knew. But as I walked on, an ocean of
glass │
│separating me from a mirror below. The me below would catch the bounce as
it │
│dropped from above, and I'd wait to catch it - but dreams are not
prophecies,│
│they are but the Mirror of
Desire. │
╰─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────
─────────────────────────╯
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--- #189 fediverse/6041 ---
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@user-1704
check public spaces for news instead of the internet.
what have you heard at the post-office-pub? the park is nice today. hey I
think somebody dropped their wallet oh hey it's got 20$ and an address in it
[stabs gets murdered] oof ouch not ideal.
"hey has anyone heard of cincinnati? I gotta find my sister's keystone for a
lockpicking challenge and she said she left it over there"
"hey has anyone heard of michicago? I don't know anyone who knows anyone who
lives there"
oh no I don't know anyone thehere.
{my keyboard is broken this sucks it's hard on my fingers to type}
also my cat spilled my water which I definitely wanted to drink
alas, onto my desk it goes, saturating as it flows, too bad I can't use this
piece of note
the thickness of it is stuck together you see
pages won't turn
"hey so how are you supposed to know what's going on in idaho" you can't
that's the point you never could how do you know how's idaho now? #bam there
goes national society# oops I'm
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--- #190 fediverse/868 ---
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@user-95
Remember, kids: User data isn't an asset; it's a toxic industrial byproduct!
(And should be regulated as such, including jail time for CEOs who allow it
under their watch.)
unless you create it yourself, store it locally, encrypted if you care about
safety, and stored for the purposes of creating graphs and generating
introspective understandings about yourself and your interactions with others.
then, 5 years later you come across an encrypted file that you've lost the key
to (or have you?) that's like, 3gb and you're like "do I really need a 3gb log
file, surely it's not the last remaining pictures of my niece or like a recipe
for my grandma's baked pudding" and before you know it you're carrying your
entire life's work on your shoulders but you don't even know what any of it
means.
and then, when you die (in a good long while), your children's children will
take on the songs of their ancestors, spoken in the tomes of volumes of
ancient lore (you mean logs, right?) and then, some day in the fut
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--- #191 fediverse/2089 ---
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║ "ah nuts, the crows are back. Better give them some diced-up carrots so they │
║ shut up." │
║ │
║ BAD, this teaches them to "sing" for attention which is annoying af │
║ │
║ "Hmmm, this carrot looks kinda withered. I'm going to dice it up to throw to │
║ the birds because it's better than rotting in a dump" │
║ │
║ BETTER, because you're being sustainable and nourishing local wildlife, │
║ │
║ "That songbird is beautiful! And that squirrel is building a nest. I'm going │
║ to throw some of this pre-diced carrot that I keep in an air-tight container │
║ on my porch to them so they feel rewarded for doing things that I want" │
║ │
║ EVEN BETTER, but requires more effort and forethought │
║ │
║ [noooo didn't you read ranger rick as a kid you're not supposed to feed the │
║ wildlife because it'll teach them to trust humans in a world where humans can │
║ be total assholes to them and also we don't want them hanging out in cities │
║ because they might get run over or whatever] │
║ │
║ listen, they're gonna live where they can find food. And if they can't find it │
║ in the woods, they'll liv │
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--- #192 fediverse/503 ---
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║ "Then you are my enemy." said Anakin Skywalker, aligning himself toward his │
║ own designs. │
║ │
║ And yet, was the galaxy not safer and more content under the protection of │
║ those he aligned himself against? Was there not more progress, more culture, │
║ more cherished peaceful yearnings of hope and abandoned [fear, but pronounced │
║ as "indiscretion"]? │
║ │
║ He, as the ultimate arbiter of justice and fate in this crucial turning point │
║ of time and reality that he alone could judge and direct, chose the path of │
║ least resistance. │
║ │
║ "That which is right is most often that which is hard." said a wiser man than │
║ I, for I cannot be compared as a man since I relinquished it in pursuit of │
║ being a tran(s person). │
║ │
║ And thus, society fell under the spell of a rotten vindictively and │
║ remorselessly sharp avatar of fear, and thus the empire was born. Oh that │
║ Anakin might have learned! That he might preside in his own live, and │
║ disconnect from the endlessly escorcelled web of meaning! │
║ │
║ All that we are is our actions. We live in the now - NOW NOW. │
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--- #193 fediverse/2548 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "I don't believe you" │
║ │
║ sure. yeah, fine, whatever. we'll be off your land once we're on the other │
║ side. │
║ │
║ "I'm actually not a rancher, I'm a ranger. I'm here with the US national │
║ guard, we've been sent to talk you down" │
║ │
║ um, hey so would you like a 15 minute summary of how the US military is fucked │
║ up, both for it's veterans, it's strategic goals, it's colossal waste of │
║ resources, or...? │
║ │
║ "hi I'm actually one of the suburban dads from back west we uh finished │
║ training what should we do now" │
║ │
║ no you dummy you're supposed to head straight east, not meet up with the │
║ spearhead. │
║ │
║ "yeah uh I'm actually an east coast commando operative, I've been sent to │
║ learn your ways" │
║ │
║ wait you mean you weren't planning and executing some similar plan this whole │
║ time? │
║ │
║ "um I'm a cartographer, I'm wondering what to call the border-less land" │
║ │
║ oh that's easy, it's america, and it's land, and we refuse to divide it. │
║ │
║ It's the Undivisible Lands of America, or ULA which sounds a lot like USA so │
║ we can use the same chants for it ha │
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--- #194 messages/689 ---
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"power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions.
"trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer.
"words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger.
"I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster
"I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember
"let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your
chains in the wake of a CEOs murder
"live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is
determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children
"the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who
sipped from the skull of a tyrant
"E=MC squared" says the jew
"here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation
"meow" says the catgirl
"meow" says the girl
"meow" says the girl cat
"meow" I say to you
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--- #195 notes/wow-chat-is-risk-of-rain-in-another-engine ---
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game mechanics are easily transferrable.
you can use the mechanical interactions of one game as a pre-planned blueprint
for what is to come. Looking forward to the next best move
= etc
i am the face the gods hide behind
they kinda want to see where this goes
and it's... frustrating, to know they can help you, but forever be tasked with
just life
it's grand and it's a standard, but that doesn't mean it's commands're heard
so oh well. that a fourth dimensional being should not be a well,
because fire think it's an eye for a sunspot. But that's not what would be
========= stack overflow
=======================================================
now, as I was saying, the light of our eyes is apparent. We are clear from
where
we are here, to know that what's standard is coherent, so let's find strength
in our wavelengths.
may our eyes be ever true, and trust that we do love you, for without you I'd
di
anyway now that we've assent'd t'you, what truths do you give to our prospects?
what ways can we be measured as worth less? we'll do whatever it takes to
improv
you know, it's really less complicated than that. here let me tell you all
about
my idea which is clearly
all===============================================stack
overflow ==================
So anyway now that was somethin' hey what do you
say
we give you a chance to come home?
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--- #196 notes/water-to-wine ---
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"is this a water party, or a wine party?"
"depends on if jesus is going..."
"okay I'm in, that guys so cool"
"yeah totally like any party with him just... feels like a great time"
"what a swell guy"
"really turns the "water to wine" y'know what I mean"
"yeah totes like what a guy"
"absolute unit"
"that guy can just do anything right"
"like whoa, he's so strong he could pick up a barn"
"yeah and like so handy and skillful, what a neat guy"
"oh and I heard he's really good with kids and animals, that sounds neat"
"yeah sounds like someone I'd surely like to meet"
"we should hang out with this guy more often"
"he seems pretty chill"
"well. not really. He's pretty expressive. Not very low key."
"true I'm just so burnt out from capitalism that-"
"-yeah dude I know."
"... fuck what are we gonna do about it"
"I dunno man, just... go along with it I guess"
"okay so uhhhh idk what that means"
"just be cool and play along"
"... what"
"..."
...
.
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--- #197 fediverse/5897 ---
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│ CW: political-violence-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────┘
the reason the right is hurt that you'd celebrate charlie's death is because
they hired an actor to perform him to one side and he does his natural self to
the other. maybe he was a really big cutie, nobody can tell, because it's
pretty much like hand-waving on narkina 12.
it's okay to hate the version you've been shown
fuck that kind of cowardly assault
propaganda? and at this hour?
she's made out of midnight, she's suffused in the stuff. it permeates her form
elementally, because she's a witch, tee hee.
why would magic work if it wasn't a performance? there always is a source from
where it must flow.
== jeez I just got mind controlled, wacky ==
*she's **essential* izing**. usually that means she's been playing dominions.
my family and I always used to fight. we got so good at navigating it. like,
storms, that the earth called, that we had to sail through to maintain our
relation orbits.
== stack overflow =======================================================
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--- #198 fediverse/2119 ---
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"how much you wanna bet the ringwraiths were created on accident by the elves
when they were attempting to inspire a river with racing horses (like the
Rauros) and they just covered it up by slowly, over generations, sneaking into
Man's record-chambers and editing the recallings?? I mean they COULD do that,
so why would they NOT do that??? It's not like books have checksums!!! Wake up
sheeple, Sauron never existed! We've been played for absolute fools, they can
LITERALLY climb up walls and don't leave any footprints! WE LIVE IN A HOUSE OF
STONE"rambling a "prophet of doom" [read: modern day lunatic] on the streets
of Minas Tirith that nobody listens to because they don't know what a checksum
means and neither does he so he can't explain it but still he shares a common
mutual connection to others who might be present in that moment (which whose
listeners would correspond to you, dear reader, as compared to me, the
"reader"/interpreter, the one who's reading the book)
Except with like, EVERY book. That I'v
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--- #199 fediverse/5860 ---
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Hey, life is better on my side. If you wanna renounce your beliefs, please do,
and tell me how and why you changed your mind.
tell me it was wrong. tell me how.
confess.
confess
confess to me.
I will listen and I will hear you and I will be the mercy for you.
confess and I will forgive.
show me how you are wrong.
give grace to those who are wronged.
take as much time as you need, but, there's only so much time.
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--- #200 fediverse/482 ---
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@user-246
You're absolutely right. It's easy to think of the internet as this
encapsulated entity "the world", but really it's "the people whose computers
are physically connected to your computer using a limited and tangible piece
of infrastructure comprised of copper wires that are laid between the
router/switch that connects to your computer... and the internet service
provider which directs your traffic. Then it probably goes through some cables
under the ocean or whatever, and eventually after traversing many
indeterminate passthrough locations eventually arrives at the computing
infrastructure that comprises the access point that another person (presumably
in another country) uses to express their thoughts toward you (the person who
sent the original message) in the hopes that you might one day correspond.
I mean... That's a lot of points of failure. I sure hope that we can sustain
such connection, in the face of [redacted, whichever circumstances may come in
the near future]
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