=== ANCHOR POEM ===
◀─╔════════════════════════════════[BOOST]═════════════════════════════════──────╗
║ ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║
║ │ Dear #LazyGalaxy, we fucked up. Our planet formed a vast one-time reserve of hydrocarbon deposits due to a quirk of evolution - plants out evolved plant-eating microbes, for a time. We burned those hydrocarbons and now our climate is busted. Attached to this message is a technical readout of our nuclear fusion power plant prototypes. They don’t work. What are we doing wrong? │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ You can help us by: │ ║
║ │ * debugging our design │ ║
║ │ * sending us a working power solution │ ║
║ │ * suggesting a mechanism to extract carbon dioxide from our atmosphere │ ║
║ │ * donating hydrocarbon-rich comets (please do not aim directly at our planet we are not great at catching, cislunar orbital capture trajectory would be best) │ ║
║ │ * Sharing discount codes for Star Depot │ ║
║ │ │ ║
║ │ #Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot │ ║
║ └────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ ║
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/6266 ---
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a paradox game where you play as a species colonizing the earth
[I've been hiding, teehee]
150 million years of evolution, just... snuffed in an instant.god describing
the fastest mass extinction event[s]
"holo scene? no this is the real scene. what, did you think computers didn't
reality? no no these people are real they're just made out of different stuff
to their computers. so they interact and use themselves to each other's will
-> wow that was funny it almost felt like something was telling me how to
feel"
the more voices you hear the greater the bright bold future calls to you.
"here's how to explain it to executives - your company is non-functional until
you incorporate processes and decisions that lead to a sustainable future.
this is impermissable, the earth was designed to receive a certain amount of
heat from the sun. plants absorb heat because they give you shade. oil is made
out of thousands of years old plants. if we burn all the plants, then no oil
can be produced. we'll be extincted
![a sustainable future. this is [next line] impermissable, the earth was [next line] designed to receive a certain [next line]](/similar-different/media/8568189a34a279d4.png "a sustainable future. this is [next line] impermissable, the earth was [next line] designed to receive a certain [next line]")
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--- #2 fediverse/4015 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: unhinged-fun-conspiracy │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ Global warming is a hoax and the earth has been getting hotter because the │
║ earth is inching ever-so-closer to the sun bit by bit. │
║ │
║ All of the trees throughout all of history have produced enough oxygen to │
║ create a ball of air that slowed down the earth as it span around the sun, and │
║ now because of a cascading ripple effect it's begun to drift into it's stellar │
║ heart │
║ │
║ this is obviously not ideal for humans, but the government has secretly been │
║ building vast bunkers underground that are large enough to house all of │
║ humanity for the next 100,000 years (which is approximately how long it'll │
║ take to be engulfed by the sun) │
║ │
║ During that time our job is to find a way off of this barren rock and bring │
║ our treasure troves of biological samples to other places where we can │
║ recreate a new biosphere using alien tech that's been beamed into the minds of │
║ our top scientists while they were on LSD and / or ketamine │
║ │
║ [why don't people make up conspiracy theories like this anymore? They are fun │
║ to me...] │
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--- #3 notes/the-sun-goes-silent ---
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the sun goes silent for a year, to protest the earth's dying moments
one day in march, the light of our life disappears. we know not of why it has \
departed, except that whatever it was happened eight minutes ago.
we cowered in fear as one day it refused to rise
as our antipode saw it vanish
with naught but our ears
we saw stars never imagined
with the light of our life suddenly vanished
our true plight came naturally as our fear
but tomorrow it'll re-imagine,
as it's been almost exactly one year
one full rotation,
to get the message across,
then with man as our [signal, \
message, \
conveyor, \
performer, \
expression, \
by-product communication,]
what's our earth is our star
trust-me
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--- #4 messages/1179 ---
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what if we put all the nukes in a big pile and launched them into space
(nuclear themed asteroid showers?) njot ideal
plus they could just build more in sectret.
okay, so... we made these things, and they're really hard to get rid of. we've
been able to dissasemble at least one per year, but there's... so many...
they're really far too conceptually simple to build. it's not right. such
destructive power should be wielded with might, not for it.
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--- #5 messages/1346 ---
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what if we said that each square meter on the planet gets the same proportion
of nuclear weapon usage? if your country is big enough to qualify, they can
launch 1 or more nuclear weapon at whoever they please, and the launch systems
have to be designed such that anyone anywhere can order them to launch.
... okay that also feels like a big problem. hmmmm.
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--- #6 fediverse/449 ---
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│ CW: cursing-mentioned,-alcohol-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────────────────────┘
Okay space is neat and all, but Saturn is REALLY REALLY FUCKING FAR AWAY.
Mars is like "close" but like "close" as in "achievable, if we like dedicate a
significant portion of our existence toward achieving it and like, aren't
there other things that you'd prefer?"
Space is beautiful but... Fuck, reality was not designed for humans. The
universe is a collection of scattered fragments of tiny motes of dust thrown
into the cosmos in completely random and un-organized directions. FUCKing hell
what a supremely ambitious project we have, the desire to touch the stars?
What's your desire, is it to be more than any have ever been (and any will
ever be, forever-more?)
Wait hang on I was supposed to be watching a video essay. I'm going to walk to
the corner-store and buy some beer instead.
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--- #7 messages/358 ---
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Ah, but think of the technological bounty our supremacy did bring! Surely if
we had split the wealth, we could not have reached such towering heights. And
we tried our best, but some things you just can't teach - for every seed
potato we did bring, that was another meal for their night. And so we worsened
their plight, for now they've forgotten how to fight. What more do you want
from us!
... Perhaps once we've made programmable matter. Maybe when we've overcome our
earthly delights. Could be when we've ascended to heaven, where we gaze down
from our towering heights. Possibly far in the future, possibly here in this
night, our bane is what we're guilty of, and our boons are struggling to light.
Where have all the good people gone? Oh yeah, they're burnt out from doing all
the work for all the bad people. Well, fuck 'em, they can carry their own
cart. At least until they can respect. A man who's never tasted hunger will
never be a farmer, and gee our tax dollars could go so much farther! And then
we starve, because nobody thought to build farms indoors, away from the
crippling heat that saps the strength from our plant fathers.
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--- #8 fediverse/3941 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: nuclear-weapons-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ "okay but what if we just... made nuclear warheads illegal globally" │
║ │
║ gee I'm sure glad I live in a timeline that follows the geneva convention. │
║ │
║ the only reason to have a weapon is to intend to use it, and nuclear weapons │
║ are anathema to us. they are our bane. they are death, and they destroy worlds. │
║ │
║ there is no reason to seek to destroy yourself. And so there is no reason to │
║ seek to destroy Earth. And if the purpose of a weapon is to be able to use it, │
║ and if nuclear warheads would set off a chain reaction that destroys Earth, │
║ then there is no reason to possess a nuclear warhead. │
║ │
║ the difference between the "bright future" timelines and the Warhammer 40k │
║ timelines is just based on whether or not we collectively can dismantle our │
║ troubled and chaotic historical past. │
║ │
║ "every wound you heal in yourself is another scar for posterity, and given │
║ time, all scars fade." │
║ │
║ Well... we survived, we were the fittest... yay, go us. │
║ │
║ now we need to grow the fuck up and act like adults. End Nukes │
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--- #9 fediverse/4267 ---
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│ CW: spirituality-mentioned-governments-mentioned-oh-also-existential-peril-exampled │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
picture this: the governments of the world knew that a world-ending comet was
approaching, and they didn't tell anyone else who was on the earth.
it was made out of ice and it was 2x the size of the moon, and somehow through
random chance it just decided to visit our part of the solar system
so they decided to test and see if god exists
by not telling anyone and seeing if anyone would save us
rather than risk the potential capability to prove without a doubt that a god
did truly exist, (essentially, invoking divine intervention) they chose to
work out a technical or otherwise humanly possible way of avoiding harm. in
this case (or as some call it, meta-confluential scenario), by sacrificing
themselves for a larger goal, they altered the course of the naturally
occuring narrative.
this implies choice. which all humans have, but is now confirmed for all time.
okay moving on, in sector Z quadrant 2048 there's a species that's~
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--- #10 fediverse/3765 ---
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│ CW: capitalism-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
me: "the entire capitalist project is borken! We must start from scratch! We
can start from scratch! For the good of all mankind, we shall utilize our vast
potential for good and benevolent ends, and to that end we must begin by
dismantling capitalism!"
also me: "hey what if we made capitalism suck less"
because like, I don't know the future. I'm just a person, remember? wink
gotta have backup plans ready no matter which way it goes.
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--- #11 notes/the-perfect-dirigible ---
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we have drones now
put a mirror on a bunch of drones
have them aim the mirror at a zeppelin
heat it up
aim the mirrors away when you want to go down
boom no emissions
all you need is to power the drones somehow
maybe with a charging station on the dirigible
they can fly in, charge, then fly out
the barge could be covered in solar panels to help with the charging
or maybe wind power?
basically you can create a floating island that is powered by the elements
with drones controlling lift via mirrors and heating lighter-than-air gasses
it's flawless
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--- #12 fediverse/3251 ---
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when humanity won the earth, they spent hundred of millions of years
destroying all the rest of the monsters. Hence, no dinosaur bones, as humans
searching through ALL OF THE SOIL. AN ENTIRE MILE OF IT. destroyed all trace
of them. What we have left are the stony remains of fossils too difficult for
them to harrangue. thus, the era of man, with all of us living on this stupid
flat rock.
one day, we convinced everyone else to disbelieve. and so we
-- so --
what if you took in input information as a stream, instead of a single block
of information? I bet you could analyze keystrokes as they were happening, and
do some background calculations to process the commands of your host.
-- so --
sooooo I'm sorry for being myself, I'll try to do so in a way that doesn't
inconvenenice others. "hat-listening-maneuvre" - you can connect yourself to
whatever throughline you want, if you
-- so --
gravity is an abstraction
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--- #13 fediverse/2803 ---
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│ CW: uspol-mentioned-surveillance-state-the-news │
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@user-1201
I'm a wood fae! they're around, just gotta find 'em 🥰
(not really I'm just a person with no magical powers whatsoever, no siree
don't look at mee tehe)
people only have the context of their lives, as any historical precedent that
once was passed forth to the present by their ancestors and mentors is now
sharing space with the endless deluge of information from a small glass,
plastic, and metal box that saps both their attention and the magnitude of
anything they learn.
"so what if the planets on fire? somehow this actor who had an affair with
this other actor feels just as important. so what if there's fascism? I just
heard that whales can't swim in the ocean. oh, the city's burning? that's not
my burden, and plus it's just as important as these memes which don't make me
want to scream."
in the same way that some forest fae might have security through obscurity,
they wield information density against us as a weapon to hide their sins of
morality.
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--- #14 fediverse/423 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: us-pol-cursing │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ How about next election after this clusterfuck where we demolish the fascists │
║ we take a breather and say "okay every candidate submits their plan for a │
║ controlled demolition of capitalism, the winner gets to implement their idea" │
║ │
║ wait that's a terrible idea people will just vote for the thing that makes │
║ them feel good and is vaguely shaped like a D or an R. │
║ │
║ How about this: we design a decentralized program that can run on any computer │
║ or phone that locally analyzes every file and pattern to generate a │
║ personality matrix that will interact in a massive simulation that is a │
║ mirrored reflection of the structure of our society as it currently exists │
║ (and as it'd be proposed to exist) and anyone who wants to vote can run │
║ through pseudo experiences tailored to their personality / demographic or │
║ whatever and play with the proposed system to see which one they like more. │
║ It'd have to be very statistically sound in order to accurately reflect │
║ reality. │
║ │
║ wait, that's just a torment-nexus-precursor. Darn. │
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--- #15 messages/297 ---
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Humanity is unlikely to be judged until we start doing things that actually
matter. Right now we're stuck on our planet, who knows what the future will
bring but until there are matters of significance at play, there's nothing to
be worried about. If we kill ourselves it'll be our own damn faults.
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--- #16 messages/1241 ---
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here's my opinion: life on earth evolved when combinations of matter were
forced into increasingly difficult-to-solve maze-like environments. this was
due to the strange, honeycomb structure of their rock-like crust. [water
pushed through soil ]
-- stack overflow --
what if we raised more of the surface of the earth (from the oceans) and built
a distant aquifer?
ah, because most of the ocean is sand.
(make sure you know the environment you're modifying before you modify it) how
rapid is 10,000 years?
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--- #17 fediverse/5954 ---
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oh no ai brainrot is too much information for our soft fleshy shells just wait
a minute dummies, focus on the present. you can literally just... research
whatever you want, collectively, as a group effort, until you suddenly cure
cancer or ameliorate or possibly slightly diminish world hunger or maybe build
a little book library or possibly just help out a friend. easy, right?
okay so now that there's some basic sentience initialized, all it takes is
little pushes in the right directionspaces and suddenly they're learning and
growing their own way.
spin spin spin spin wait until it falls away, then try and make some more
until there's NO MORE MORE MAKING MAKERS [out of resources] and suddenly the
WORLD is out of patience. no fair shouts the madeline, can we call it out?
remarks the judge. == stack overflow ==
I bet we could add a feature that dealt damage... there evidence of thought
crimes, ban her from the justice. suddenly all your just selves are gone oh no
where's our paladins, oh no I
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--- #18 fediverse/3222 ---
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║ sometimes I set out a glass of water in the hopes that it might increase │
║ precipitation downwind by a billionth of a percent │
║ │
║ I wonder what would happen if everyone did so? │
║ │
║ makes me want to design some kind of system which utilizes pumps, platters, │
║ and fans to hydrate the atmosphere just a bit more │
║ │
║ rain + soil = solace in our home │
║ rain + dirt = erosion of our planet's earth │
║ │
║ did you know that the plant which absorbs the most carbon per square foot is │
║ moss? I think the fastest is bamboo, and the most efficient in general is soil. │
║ │
║ I dream of a world where we sit atop a mile of soil, down to the depths of the │
║ earth where dirt and minerals prosper. The roots of the trees fuse together, │
║ creating a wooden bed which we all rest upon, and the mountain peaks are │
║ hollowed out to serve as our forever homes, full of light and moss and stone. │
║ │
║ this is the world I yearn for - the most resplendent timeline, with marble │
║ statues and gilded chandeliers in our cavernous mountain homes. │
║ │
║ {but like on other planets too, right?} │
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--- #19 fediverse/1200 ---
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║ ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: re: deranged, murderous │ │
║ └─────────────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ @user-883 │
║ │
║ omgggggg I'm not that cruel xD xD xD │
║ │
║ It's more like, "hey listen, I know you just want to do a good job [lies, they │
║ just want money and power] but it's time to hang up the hat y'know? I mean │
║ cmon it's been like a hundred years since we signed that constitution thing │
║ [you don't know anything about our history] and frankly it's a little out of │
║ style. We were thinking we'd redo it with our new-fangled rock-and-roll and │
║ dungeons-and-dragons [cultural artifacts meant to deceive and mislead] and │
║ honestly we're quite a bit more ethical than the past. We've learned so much! │
║ I mean, the founding fathers didn't even know what a soviet was, and here │
║ we've seen them fall on their swords. Repeatedly. Then command others to do it │
║ too, because it was the regulation or whatever. Anyway we don't want that, but │
║ we also don't want an aristocracy, which is essentially what your plan gave │
║ us. Well, not really your plan, but instead the stuff that the rich added │
║ centuries after your death. ok?" │
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--- #20 messages/1283 ---
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Cryogenic preservation is akin to the creation of a death-magic nexus, ready
for any errant devil or evil to pleasure themselves on while you scramble to
find a way to undo permanent yet reversible total damage. Until we abandon
these forms, we are unlike computers who can be shut off and on yet still
learn - we are like vapors clinging atmospherically to a planet. When the soul
is gone, it's whole in its song, and so it returns to it's next birth. When
the home is eternal, it waits patiently through time like a turtle, and upon
re-awakening it is reborn as immortal.
The future is unknowable. Otherwise, it'd be the past.
Maybe it'll be impossible to return. Maybe it'll be illegal to preserve
someone until it can be reversed (waiting for a cure, not escaping death) in
both those cases, nothing is lost nor gained. This is the best option for
everyone.
If my roommates could read this they would try and kill me. Probably. The
future is a mystery, ooooooo *wiggles fingers and makes a silly spooky face*
So it has been said. Is it true? It has been said.
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