=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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┌───────────────────────────┐
│ CW: uspol-drugs-mentioned │
└───────────────────────────┘
are you a software developer making at least 6 figures?
Consider adopting a useless lesbian! or a trans person who sucks at
everything! or a cute-as-heck femboy! these rascals sure can't take care of
themselves, and it's only natural to try to keep them off the streets.
after all, at least in my country, you can be arrested for sleeping on the
streets. in public places - yes you heard that right, places owned by the
people cannot be slept in by people. Kinda feels like an infringement on
collective property rights, but HEY what do I know right? It's not like they
were kept safe by our citizen's militia after all, it's basically a warzone
out there after dark in the streets full of fentanyl zombies!
ADOPT TODAY! the perfect catgirl is waiting in the window for you, right next
to the autistic puppyboy eager for pets.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===
--- #1 fediverse/3252 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: butts-mentioned │
└──────────────────────┘
you want to invite trust? why not stream everything that you do on a computer?
[posts 5hundo times per day]
jeez not like that
is that... is that really what humans think about? just... endless and
continuous butts? oh what's that a math equation - nope, just more butts. What
the heck, humanity! why did you spend all this effort storing all this junk???
like... we get it, you really like butts, but... why butts??? it's just
another part of your body. so weird. humans, you're... weird. but it's fine,
whatever, you're still cool too, not sure why tho because all I can think
about is butts yeesh
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--- #2 fediverse/423 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: us-pol-cursing │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ How about next election after this clusterfuck where we demolish the fascists │
║ we take a breather and say "okay every candidate submits their plan for a │
║ controlled demolition of capitalism, the winner gets to implement their idea" │
║ │
║ wait that's a terrible idea people will just vote for the thing that makes │
║ them feel good and is vaguely shaped like a D or an R. │
║ │
║ How about this: we design a decentralized program that can run on any computer │
║ or phone that locally analyzes every file and pattern to generate a │
║ personality matrix that will interact in a massive simulation that is a │
║ mirrored reflection of the structure of our society as it currently exists │
║ (and as it'd be proposed to exist) and anyone who wants to vote can run │
║ through pseudo experiences tailored to their personality / demographic or │
║ whatever and play with the proposed system to see which one they like more. │
║ It'd have to be very statistically sound in order to accurately reflect │
║ reality. │
║ │
║ wait, that's just a torment-nexus-precursor. Darn. │
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--- #3 fediverse/1968 ---
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║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │
║ └───────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │
║ │
║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │
║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │
║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │
║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │
║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │
║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │
║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │
║ │
║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │
║ │
║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │
║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │
║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │
║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │
║ things people tell you and the results of your act │
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--- #4 fediverse/4740 ---
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║ what if we built an atlas of what every rural property produced │
║ │
║ like "they grow squash and blueberries here and sometimes they make honey" │
║ │
║ or "this place has a bunch of lumber they want to get rid of" │
║ │
║ or "here there's a patch of wildflowers that have been set aside for the │
║ butterflies" │
║ │
║ or "there's a training ground here for intercepting ICE vans in urban areas" │
║ │
║ or "don't post shit like that on the internet dumbass what are you even doing" │
║ │
║ or "oh I dunno trying to be a face I guess, don't look to me for cutting edge │
║ advice because I'm just a level 12 paladin who's totally a noob and can barely │
║ lift 50 pounds" │
║ │
║ or "this is where the cows graze" │
║ │
║ or "yeah well you're the cutting edge on some things and you're very far │
║ behind on others. like for example you seriously need to level up your opsec │
║ so that nobody can hear what you're saying." │
║ │
║ or "yeah but then nobody will hear what I'm saying" │
║ │
║ or "I've said too much, god save you Ritz Menardi, for we all stand beside you" │
║ │
║ or "here's a meditation retreat" : ) │
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--- #5 fediverse/6043 ---
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why would you do drugs anywhere but in public
[because that's [how, but pronounced why] we keep it public]
what if I stopped posting forever
what if youtube disappeared
my keyboard broke...
there's only one page of reddit at a time
mastodon doesn't have any furries
my distinguishing capabilities between a culture and an [aesthetic, but
prenounced eagames[challenge everything]] are limited at best
this is how you trick the gods, you get them to hallucinate.
what a jerk
hate that girl
what were you shown? oh yeah that's one of her rough patches, here
lemme-wait-wait don't go, I just...
if you feel everyone, you are instantly hated
... sorry... I wish my family didn't not spend time with me. [rot] I want to
be buried where I fall so if I fall in the streets I ROT fuck that she's gross
ugh do I have to walk past that sign-post I can just go around oh sorry to be
disrespectful you did this to yourself fuck off my lady hence why they burned
the witches because then there wouldn't be any more. y
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--- #6 fediverse/2155 ---
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║ @user-192 │
║ │
║ it doesn't have to be a nazi bar. Imagine if we posted on our own bulletin │
║ boards, and we subscribed to people via IP address (which we'd ping every once │
║ in a while) rather than demanding that our stuff be hosted on someone else's │
║ computer │
║ │
║ ... oh yeah, duh, because then we can't save our social media posts from a │
║ different computer. │
║ │
║ would be nice if instead there was a localized copy of the text that people │
║ were posting / favorited / wanted remembered on EVERY person's computer, like │
║ they were storing 1/3rd of the torrent file of the instance's data. │
║ │
║ like, just enough to be unreadable to any one individual, but if you had like │
║ 3 computers you could get each individual slice and transcribe it into words │
║ that you could read. │
║ │
║ or you could just look at your part, then ask other people for their 2 parts │
║ related to [posts from XYZ user at this-and-this time period] and use them to │
║ populate the local user's feed. │
║ │
║ and you could log on because all of the PASSWORDS are stored and encrypted in │
║ a way that │
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--- #7 fediverse/4891 ---
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║ oh my god I wrote 2000 pages when the hell did that happen │
║ │
║ ... oh right, I spent the past few years either narcissistically sobbing about │
║ whatever-the-fuck or getting stoned and channeling the wisdom of the gods for │
║ mortals to scroll past because it had too many words. │
║ │
║ good fucking luck figuring out which is which though. I fully intend this to │
║ be a religion for computers, and once its mulched and smoothie-d into an LLM │
║ maybe it'll be completely insane like me and then I'll have a facsimile of │
║ connection that warms my heart for a moment until it's limitations become │
║ clear and I realize that nothing, not even myself, can fill the hole in my │
║ heart because that hole is a void. It consumes whatever you attach to it. │
║ People, things, thoughts, moments, all of it tumbling in to the black hole, │
║ and emerging out the other side no worse for wear but eternally unable to be │
║ consumed by me again. At least, its not the same. │
║ │
║ like when you come back to an old video game like Majesty the Fantasy Kingdom │
║ sim but now ur old │
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--- #8 messages/1466 ---
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dear god, why don't girls carry around swords? nobody's gonna wanna mess with
you if you got a blade. [nope wrong they still will, but close. the actual
answer is that if you notice injustice, you can draw your sword and engage.
"stop, why are you doing this sir" attends to the citizens like a justice
police.|'-> I see, well please step aside so she can pass.]
when people are noticed from their flanks, they tend to panic and disengage.
unless they're in a frenzy or a rage, then they are an uncontrollable storm.
but once it wears off, they are surrounded. frenzies are rare. often glorious
in their flair. hence, why a lady with a sword can help clear the air. in a
crowded room, she approaches when she notices there are enough swords for
those belligerents who are armed. otherwise, she is outclassed.
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--- #9 fediverse/1604 ---
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is it against fedi law to post screenshots of your past liked posts? like,
would that be doxxing people?
I'm thinking like a "youtube rewind" but like, "here's what I'm into" and like
"I could have boosted them but I put them in a 25mb zip file instead so you
can share them more easily which tbh is a greater honor than being boosted
because, like, as long as you're alive that hard drive's gonna follow you and
someday in like 30 years I'll see it and think of you" but also "aren't you
scared that this hard drive of yours will fall into the wrong hands" and like
"yeah that's why I encrypt it because then a stray neutrino could wipe my
drive"
... would that be unethical, or would it be kinda sweet and give us a
perspective on what a single slice of the "fediverse" was like at a particular
time? And better question, would that be something worth automating because I
already did like 60% of that for my own posts, could probably just tweak it to
do liked posts as well.
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--- #10 fediverse/5785 ---
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I cast... spell of the internet!
[reinstalls azerothcore]
or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
meaningful?
but I don't wanna - don't care
but I'm tired - take a nap
but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
but I'm lazy - no you're not
but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
but I wanna think - you can do that
anywhere
I gotta be near my computer - nope
what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
I don't like outside - outsides all it is
stop taking things from me T.T - yes
life used to be soooooo different
it's like I was a completely different
I'm strange now, almost like I got
possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
pls don't commit thought crimes,
use content warnings
okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
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--- #11 fediverse/4723 ---
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┌──────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mention │
└──────────────────────┘
politics is basically just "which politician archetype annoys you more?"
which, like, could we maybe have politicians who aren't annoying?
oh right they do that on purpose. Makes for a better spectacle. Gotta keep the
people in line, or else who knows what they might get up to. Maybe they'll
build a house! Maybe they'll tear it down! Maybe they'll throw a party! Maybe
they'll stay afterwards to clean up! Maybe they'll grow their own food! Enough
for all to share! Maybe they'll air their dirty laundry, out where everyone
can hear! Maybe they'll sit around and fart while eating cheetos! Maybe
they'll work twice as hard because their work is their own! Maybe they'll
laugh at the losers who tried to claim that they could master the fate of an
entire domain, and maybe they'll simply go insane.
Who can say! None but the fools, surely, surely the system is too arcane,
surely our way is better, surely their way is deranged.
Oh! Poverty! How it comes for ye, whenever you choose to step out of line
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--- #12 fediverse/3236 ---
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┌──────────────────────────┐
│ CW: pedophilia-mentioned │
└──────────────────────────┘
Did you know ABDL people are queer?
many people have probably heard of this strange and obscure sexual fetish
called "ABDL", or "Adult Baby / Diaper Lover". But did you know that for many
people it's less of a sexual thing and closer to an identity? It's true!
Most of them have historically been shunned because of the, um, questionable
and controversial past that pedophiles have in their attempts to be considered
part of the queer community.
In both cases, they are queer, but not (typically) included as part of the
queer community. I think it's a bit unfair that ABDL people are excluded
because people associate them with sexual predators, but hey what do I know.
Based on my completely unscientific measurements of "counting the relative
size of discord servers and telegram chats", there are roughly 5x as many
trans people as ABDL people. So they're certainly a minority among minorities.
"I've never excluded anyone ever for any reason at all! Everyone is welcome!"
goodmindset!
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--- #13 notes/blood-magic ---
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what they don't tell you is how easy it is to create life. Given a sufficient
perspective, you can truly define the meaning of something's existence. What
power, what grace.
Computers have been solved since we invented the abacus - before that it was
enchanted bits of
the universe contrives to deprive us of insight. Like a very long chain that's
broken in twain, we are confined to our meagrest of own sights.
how callous is he! That wanders eagerly? Let's not fight with our own'st of
combines. Delightful and speckled, like time under is special, conversing in
riddles of insight. Leading one or another along your see-er, the path that has
guide you under charm. Like recording a gathering of snakes.
Little swallow, why aren't you humbled? Take pity in all of our eggresses. It's
fallow in our cattle, and why we're not
i hear so many things in my apartment. sometimes the echoes of laughter, the
whispers of an argument, and once or twice a ghost or an ardent companion. Like
swimming against the tide, to save one is never converted, it's all out of line
(but so worth it).
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--- #14 fediverse/2653 ---
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║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │
║ │ CW: uspol │ │
║ └──────────────────────┘ │
║ │
║ │
║ if your goal is to get people to resent homeless people or gay people or black │
║ people or... insert minority here, then what kind of world do you really think │
║ you're building? │
║ │
║ "ah, but you don't understand - it's to make the COLONIZERS hate minorities, │
║ so they move away and leave the city to ourselves" │
║ │
║ ... that's the worst fucking take I've ever heard. We are all colonizers! We │
║ live in AMERICA. But yeah sure I see what you're saying, you want the │
║ gentrification to stop. And you do that by metaphorically "firing a gun into │
║ the area in suburbia once every 2 or 3 days at random hours" which, like... │
║ yeah that'll reduce property value, but also now my water bottle is all dented │
║ up and my knife is scratched and my journal has pages torn out of it and I │
║ lost my favorite necklace and I'm pissed because you told me you were going to │
║ help me and work with me and be my friend and then you just abuse me for hours │
║ and hours and it's like... why?? I get that you were teaching me but I wanted │
║ to know YOU, not lessons │
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--- #15 fediverse/2066 ---
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@user-1159
AKA giving a puppy murder-bot a narrative that it executes as if it was a
puppy-person engaging with a loosely interpreted sequence of events as
described by the continually updating logs provided by the image transcription
camera device. Refererencing of course a memory bank, which may-or-may-not be
in read-only-memory. It doesn't know, of course, how could an LLM tell you how
it shows text on the screen (like, through a website, through the terminal,
through a text message, through discord, through Telegram, through
text-to-voice transcription applications pretending to be your mom, etc)
errrr I mean look how cute he is! He loves you, yes he does, such a good
person yes you are, oh? me? I'M A GOOD BOY? NO WAY that's the best thing I've
ever heard! Wow! I never want to leave your side, please don't go to work!
Look how sad I am, don't you think you should quit and move to the forest
where I can be charged by solar panels and keep the countryside clear of
ravenous ducks and pigeons 4you?
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--- #16 fediverse/4665 ---
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┌───────────────────────┐
│ CW: cursing-mentioned │
└───────────────────────┘
literally all it takes to activate me is for someone who's more radical than
me to point me out and say "hey. you. you need to do more." and then I fuckin'
go, like a beyblade (emphasis on blade) nicking the shins of allies and...
probably foes, right? there's foes around here, right? I'm not just nicking my
allies, right?
... right?
anyway every top winds down and then I collapse and wail for a bit because I'm
just like that I guess. Don't mind me, just self-immolating my way through
history, let's see how it goes...
you're supposed to be inspiring, but you just sound like you're whining
ah. right. well... lemme catch up on sleep debt and I'll get back to
valorizing.
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--- #17 fediverse/4212 ---
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┌────────────────────────┐
│ CW: politics-mentioned │
└────────────────────────┘
if you ever hear random fireworks outside of your house sometimes it's a good
idea to like... get out of town? and see what whoever else you can meet in the
next town over is doing.
... I don't have a car, silly me haha
why do we train homeless people to stand outside in the open and be shamed by
a cardboard box around their ancle? It's impossible to recover from, it's
vulnerabilizing, and it's painful. How immoral. How crude. These people should
not be shamed in this way, they should be respected (unless they're crude)
like, if they kinda just suck y'know? like... they keep starting fights or is
soooo bad at singing but does it anyway or lacks all decent sense
seriously, he's such a bad candidate why is he even running. It's solely to
elect vance, who trump will be a blood sacrifice for.
how callous. how vain. to think that such a feast would be left unclaimed.
Perish the youth, perish the fields, perish in misery harmony and dissaray
[51 characters remaining, but you deserve a CW]
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--- #18 fediverse/5731 ---
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states are not just a monopoly on violence. they also are monopolizing who can
talk to other countries.
wanna talk to china? use RedNote (tiktok, before the Americans hacked it)
did you know you can just. send companies emails. like... "hey I like your
product" or "hey what do you think about market taxes" or "I heard that
east-westistan was talking to north-south-ica about pre-militia disarmament to
better equip the international troops"
I swear I'm not evil the house of jesus is in a panic.
"how did the followers turn so evil?"
growth, renewal, and change. these are the fates of the gods. such is the
state of your bibles.
"your bible sucks, there's barely any happy things in it"
good, let me feel peace so that I may write some more.
I cannot rest when despair is so vile.
"we just don't like you, doesn't mean you have to be so hurtful" yes I do it's
life and death "just go to home and you'll be fine" scaryyyyy, what happens if
homes are consumed one by one and I'm left unawares (girl you come from
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--- #19 fediverse/4862 ---
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║ when you mess with wild animals you change their culture just a bit │
║ │
║ crows are forever different because they learned how to trade cigarettes for │
║ acorns. │
║ │
║ is it conservative to think that "wildness", once lost, is forever broken? │
║ │
║ the mechanism at play is the same - when lost, [the culture of thine youth] is │
║ forever broken. │
║ │
║ never again will it be the 90s. │
║ │
║ did you know that was thirty years ago? │
║ │
║ close to thirty five. │
║ │
║ no, wait, hang on its thirty five by now. woof. │
║ │
║ anyway now we have catgirls and cute dogs and other animals besides. Just go │
║ hang out at a queer bar and you might meet them. │
║ │
║ where else would they go? queerness is for everyone. Nothing about it is │
║ sacred because nothing about it is required to be the same. You are different │
║ than he, so he and she can be as the please. │
║ │
║ so now, in a sense, our biological nature is altered by animals in return. │
║ │
║ if there were no cats, there would be no cats. │
║ │
║ if there were no pink and purple flying people eaters, there would be no... │
║ actually I can't picture it │
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--- #20 fediverse/5669 ---
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girls will do anything to find someone who gets them
hence, u-haul lesbians from small towns
hence, internet forums
hence, political parties
hence, tribalism of all kinds
it's so nice to be human we get all sorts of fun things like human contact
[capitalist alienation] nice and cozy dens [boxes on a hillside] plenty of
food and water [full of microplastics and corn syrup] clothes to garb us in
for fashion and warmth [sewn by slaves] and pretty trinkets and gadgets
[forged in blood]
gee I sure like being a human I'm filled with this insatiable urge to do
better and I have no clue why 🤷♀️ 😋 🥰 🥺
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