Poetry Collection

Poems in true chronological order by post date

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 -> file: fediverse/4544
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 │ CW: cursing-mentioned │
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 I can't cancel my internet because I use it to work, which almost pays enough
 to cover rent, and nothing else.
 
 It's hard to avoid spiraling when you run out of money. Every time this happens
 to me I start feeling things
 
 like... am I good for society? Society doesn't want me, clearly, because I
 don't have any money. And currency is how you measure demand, right? It's
 literally a measure of value.
 
 But then I think of all the homeless and poor people and, like... I value them,
 so what if they don't have dollars? It's literally just paper. Or bits in a
 mainframe that nobody knows how to program anymore.
 
 So if they're valuable at least to me, yet me, with my 67$ in the bank and 127$
 internet fee, is not valuable to me... Then what's the discrepancy?
 
 I'm not trying to be hard on myself, it's not my fault that I bleed money, but
 I still feel terrible.
 
 It's like a common cultural persuasion, if you run outta cash you better kill
 yourself fast.
 
 Fuck that. Oops cursing mentioned, one s
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 -> file: fediverse/4545
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 @user-1698 
 
 hell yeah, can you improvise? I played as a kid and subsequently forgot it all.
 But now I'm trying to relearn, but only by just... playing until I find
 something that sounds good. No lessons, no tutorials, no sheet music (which I
 can still very slowly read) just me and my piano with it's keys.
 
 I usually curl up with Magic Survival before bed, or if I'm waiting for
 something else to happen and I want to calm down. It helps to have my brain
 working on my character's build rather than... whatever it is that worries me.
 
 I recently sacrificed games though. Haven't played any in like a week. Which is
 super weird for me because usually it's pretty much all I do. I can't help but
 feel that all I'm good for is strategy, and games let me practice that. Suxxx
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 -> file: fediverse/4546
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 oh no she's in one of her bipolar moods
 
 um. I'm just gonna log off till it's done, ttyl
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 -> file: messages/650
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 I've had multiple people close to me who don't read my writing tell me that
 "you can't overthrow capitalism with poetry" and... Yeah maybe they're right. I
 have zero reason to believe that anything I've \ever\ written has
 \ever\ had an actionable impact upon the struggle. I have no reason to
 believe that people are more radicalized, motivated, or otherwise inspired. I
 have several reasons to believe that all of this was just an exercise in my own
 narcissism and delusion.
 
 So I'm deleting my Mastodon account, and moving forward I probably won't update
 my website very much. Everything I do will be localized, regional, and
 hopefully more useful.
 
 It feels like I'm abandoning the idea of a nation in exchange for a tangible
 village. I'm fucking depressed about it. \I like nations\. But I like
 people more. So if you'd rather I keep my thoughts to myself and instead feed
 the homeless, aka a bunch of people who aren't gonna take up arms against our
 foes and instead will consume our time and resources while we practice
 organizing on them, then yeah sure fine whatever. I'll do it. If you'd rather I
 keep posting \content\, ugh, fucking too bad, should have done
 something about it while I was active.
 
 If I'm ever rich I'll hire an editor to turn whatever the fuck I've been making
 into a book that I'll give away for free. I probably will never be rich though,
 and instead will burn every bridge I can get my hands on and suffocate on the
 soot.
 
 Alright. Bye forever. Don't think about me again.
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 -> file: notes/comms-box
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 there is a requirement for a simple, easy to set-up, and easily replacable
 system which can be used for comms.
 
 Specifically running a variety of different services, such as fediverse
 instances, matrix for text-comms, VoIP, and distributed computing using Chapel
 or DistCC or other such capabilities. In addition, it should be able to run a
 file-server and a web-server which hosts an HTML page for the user.
 
 All of this functionality should be operational out-of-the-box, with minimal
 configuration required. No more than adding a checkbox to a config file in order
 to activate each individual service.
 
 This box should be cheap, and easy to provision. An image must be made, and
 some bash scripts should be written to easily configure it.
 
 In addition, there should be rudimentary programming capabilities included, just
 in-case a user is left with no other options. It should come pre-configured with
 SSH access out of the box, so it can be remotely controlled, and the languages
 included should be:
    C/C++
    Python
    Lua
    Bash
    Rust
    Chapel
 This should cover most surfaces in terms of programming capability requirements.
 
 In terms of hardware, it need be little more than a SoC such as a Raspberry Pi
 or other such hardware. It needs at a minimum an ethernet port, and USB ports.
 
 The box itself should cost no more than 40$, excluding provisioning and the cost
 to pay back whatever capital investments are necessary to create such a thing.
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 -> file: messages/651
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 People in blue states: "yeah we can fucking kick their asses, let's fucking do
 it, I'm sick of these assholes"
 
 People in red states: "jesus fuck stop STOP please oh god fucking please god no"
 
 there are no cowards amongst us. Only those who need rallying. be their
 banner, guide the hopeless, and fear not - for fear is what consumes us.
 
 and remember. They are only filled with fear. They will do terrible things in
 the dark god's name, yet you have the power to forsake your chains. For the
 good of all mankind, you must slay the beast that is fascism. The dragon stirs,
 and a shining sword rises to meet it - who shall wield it? Will you? Or will
 you cower in fear?
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 -> file: messages/652
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 I wish I could remember how this was phrased, but...:
 
 Constant theorizing or contemplation without commesurate practice is an uneven
 display of affection and appreciation. It creates an uneven environment where
 nothing is ever good enough because the "discourse" has moved past the practice.
 
 It's a bit like applying uneven heating to a pan on the stove. Some bits are
 gonna get overcooked while others are bordering on raw.
 
 Y'all are so afraid of spies but like if everyone just... Showed up... Then
 they'd have far too many people to listen to.
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