Poems in true chronological order by post date
-> file: fediverse/3860 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: drugs-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ since I quit cannabis like, a month ago or whatever, my artistic output has dropped by ~90% my house is a little cleaner, but I still feel consistent spikes of negative emotions. I still have trouble with all the same things I used to, like buying groceries, filling hormone prescriptions (seriously why is it EVERY month jeezzz) and working on productive projects I still spend hours staring at the wall begging myself to do anything else, like a prisoner in my own form I still feel like all the delusional thinking is still around (kinda hard to tell haha who would have thought) but I'm seriously missing the magical thinking, which was basically the same only it was fun and silly and positive. Now there's only negativity. I'm still hyper-critical of myself and others, I still make myself and others feel like shit, and I'm still a bad person who believes all the right things but still can't seem to make a positive impact in people's lives. I'm so tired of failing -> learned helplessness T.T ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3861 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── @user-1074 I'm gonna do it anyway because nationalism is not the same as patriotism https://tech.lgbt/@user-479/112729939513334734 I wish I was still this cool... what happened smh ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3862 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mental-health │ └───────────────────────┘ @user-570 hehe sorry ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3863 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ video games are better than ruminating ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3864 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────┘ @user-1218 my ex boyfriend told me to also I thought it would be a good idea so I could find a job, but now I have one (sorta) soooo ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3865 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────┘ @user-1218 oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever, but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to medicate me. ... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/3866 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health~ │ └──────────────────────┘ oh, huh, turns out I just had to sleep off the depression half of "manic depression" and wait for the manic half to kick in. I feel great now! I love being alive!! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ |