-> file: fediverse/3782
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@user-246
... oh, Curry's a language.
I thought you were hungry.
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-> file: fediverse/3783
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@user-246
better than currying yourself in the car, or at the store, or in the park, or
at your best friend's funeral, or while listening to "smooth jams 1980s"
playlist they made you back in high school, or when buying more tissues at the
store because you can't stop crying about the curry you would make together
or... wait hang on I lost the metaphor
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-> file: notes/satisfactory-academic-progress-appeal
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This month, I was diagnosed with Schizotypal disorder. I had a single hour to
talk to a psychiatrist (thank you, insurance) and he explicitly told me that my
diagnosis was preliminary.
Schizotypal is a type of neurodivergence similar to autism but with elements of
schizophrenia (paranoia, delusional and / or magical thinking) and my
presentation includes ADHD symptoms such as difficulty focusing. When medicated,
I have difficulty concentrating, however the paranoia and delusional thinking is
suppressed. The treatment plan is ongoing and developing.
These issues have been present for the entire time I've been at WGU, and before.
However, I am seeking treatment now because I had begun to have difficulty
maintaining a job and keeping a home.
Currently, my medication is working. However the greatest issue facing me right
now is financial problems - I couldn't maintain a job while unmedicated, and
frankly while medicated I am still having difficulty for different reasons.
However the intent is to refine the medication choices to find a solution that
works for me. However, employment is still a concern, and so I have requested
and been approved for a term break of at least 2 months with the option to
extend. During this term break I intend to resolve the financial issue however
I can. Ideally in such a way that will allow me to apply myself toward school
work.
This degree is important to me. Without it, I won't be able to find employment
in the tech industry aside from technician roles. My previous experience with
them has given me experience, and I learned quite a bit... Until I ran out of
things to learn. I do not believe I could handle that type of work long-term for
various reasons. In the short term, I may attempt it but I am convinced that I
will burn out quickly.
I currently feel as if I am disabled. I don't know if it's true, perhaps I'm
just going through a rough patch. But once my savings hit zero, I'm out on the
streets, and I won't live long like that.
When thinking about whether or not I'll be able to complete my degree, I
honestly cannot give you an answer. I've been in higher education for over a
decade, surely I should have finished by now. But I cannot get over various
hurdles it seems, and frankly I have no idea why. It's... Maddening, to see
yourself, so full of potential, yet chained to the form and circumstances you
are given. I wonder what choices might I have made differently to avoid my fate,
if it truly is my fate to fail in this way, but I have no answers.
I am intelligent, of this I am certain. I know more about computers than anybody
I know, and I would love to apply myself toward them. But I lack a degree, so I
cannot be seen by recruiters and hiring managers. I try to work on my degree,
but I find the words on the page grow dense like the forest between the trees,
and I cannot see a way through to reach new understandings. Why do I keep
learning these things? I already know what a callback function is, what
interfaces are used for, how to implement safe multithreading in a parallel
environment, I know how networking protocols interact with hardware and how the
airflow through a case affects the thermals of a computer's internals. I've
grown crystallized in my knowledge, it seems, due to the endless pursuit of
these foundations. I think I would excel in the higher-level courses, but... I
can't get there. I crave the insights that might be learned in a master's
degree, but my brain is not wired for homework. I'm not built to cram for tests,
to learn someone's else's tools and frameworks. I don't know what I could be
doing better, it feels like I'm so alone. I guess it's my own fault for picking
an online school, but WGU is the best of the online schools, and I needed online
because I move around a lot. Well... I used to. My boyfriend moved around a lot,
but now he's my ex-boyfriend. Oh well.
... Anyway you can probably see why I have difficulty with school. It's
difficult for me to stay on track. I can start working on my project 5 or 6
times in a day and make marginal at best progress, and each time it hurts more
and more to return. I don't have an answer, but I don't know what to do if not
to pursue my degree. I feel as if I'm on the brink of despair in my life, and if
you read these appeals often, I imagine you hear that a lot.
I will apply myself more to my coursework. Once I find a job, I will give
everything to my school, even as it breaks me. I am... intense, and I feel
strongly that I must get this degree. Between it and me, there is quicksand, but
I must get through.
Thank you for your consideration. I understand however you decide. If I can knab
a decent job, I might be able to pay for my degree myself, given a couple months
to save up for it. But I highly doubt I could find such a thing in this economy
and this life I do lead.
Please consider me, I will accept any aid that is offered.
Cameron
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-> file: fediverse/3784
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│ CW: education~ │
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A child's schooling should consist of the bare-minimum amount of mental labor
necessary to teach them the fundamentals of arithmetic, reading, and writing.
They must be given opportunities to apply themselves toward educational goals
beyond such things, including social proficiency, and physical dexterity and
strength, and specialization in a particular academic subject.
Kids need freedom. They need community, not "social time" that does not consist
of anything more than living in the same rooms at school as the other kids.
They need to be able to visit each other whenever they want.
I personally believe that lectures taught in an interesting and engaging way
are significantly more effective at instilling a drive to learn than rigorous
drilling of detailed information. A kid will not learn a sufficient amount of
information in school to be useful in a particular topic unless they seek out
the knowledge on their own. Universities attempt to "fake" this effect by
getting them to research.
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-> file: fediverse/3785
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this character portrait from Shadowrun Hong-Kong was a major source of gender
envy for me
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-> file: fediverse/3786
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│ CW: personal │
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turns out I'm too much of a neurotic cinnamon roll to be a cool stand-offish
empath
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-> file: fediverse/3787
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arithmatic control flow
If A, then B. Else C
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