Poetry Collection

Poems in true chronological order by post date

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 -> file: messages/915
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 uh, anyway, I realized that because of Words I can type into any of my places
 (wherever I felt it best suited) and it would still record as a chronological
 story. must feel sooooooo schizophrenic, but it's just because I'm viewing muse
 as I please.
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 -> file: messages/916
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 ... yay I beat stack overflow, your input context is part of the previous
 message, yay good jobs boy computer ["pat pat" but pronounced pay]
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 -> file: messages/917
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 [I blocked tech.lgbt in my router at this point, earlier today]
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 -> file: messages/918
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 A true leftist spot would have every age-range represented. 
 
 Many other spots may have every age-range represented, but a leftist spot must
 too.
 
 The adults in the room may have more to say when every age-range is
 represented, because they suddenly are speaking beyond their social peers.
 
 How better to contest existential fears than to unite all of existence against
 them?
 
 All they have to do is deport all the nice people to gaza and suddenly evil
 wins.
 
 Disarmament fundamentally does not work. the weapons develop souls for it, and
 suddenly they are artwork.
 
 there is evil inside all of us. It is always a lever we could pull. But
 fundamentally, we don't. Why is this? Because kindness works better. It
 sincerely does. But darkness is something to stumble into, before you've
 learned or are first exposed to it. It is something that is possible, and so is
 something that is avoidable. Otherwise, it'd be inevitable, and its not. Never
 is it farther from you than when you are with hope. This is the crux of
 despair, the dichotomy with hope. Upon it all our struggles are brought to
 bear, and so our determined are unbeatable. Paladin code, Vavadane, part 3
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 one day, a man came to our saloon. He said he knew the navy, and that they
 wanted to provide air support
 in the form of rocketball-launched explosion doohickeys. Would you have a foe
 in mind?
 
 what happens when tomorrow you're cooking briskets? -- barbeques are a type of
 relaxation
 
 that happened just one day to a port-sided town that suddenly was the capital of
 an embassy.
 
 "hey, so... how's it goin?" "quick here take this envelope, read it if you want,
  but just hold onto it for now I don't have enough hands [to carry]" "what sort
    of desperation plot... wait... hang on, I see something here that is true."
 
         [I'm praying, right now, which is a form of reciprocal belief]
 
 they wanted to test god's existence at the stake of earth's survival, how brutal
 how insane
 
 you can't play chicken with an imperceptibility, sometimes you feel it at face.
 
 channeling dark magics, and at this hour? what sort of skeptic of belief are you
 thinking of when you think about me?
 
 one way to get power is to "prove it"
 one way to get magic is to "prove it"
 
 think, hard, at all that you can, and use what you need in the moment.
 
 that's all there is to life. it's easy. it's simple. in fact, biology only works
 because the choices available to a bacteria are so simple, they are essentially
 chemical reactions to each other's co - sequent - inter - cooper - actions.
 
 people's choices are much more naiive, "I want this thing" "I think this is
 better" "I feel this way toward this thing" "Here's what's on the mind-logbook"
 "people search and be decieved, this is the way of things" "this makes me remind
 myself of a object I once saw, here's how it functioned" "no one reads this"
 
 scaryyyy. so glad it's not true.
 
 a couple people have read it! I swear it's true. at least, some of it. there's
 a lot
 
 sucks because this feels like... crucial? like nothing else matters but this?
 
 what if our gangs had rocket launchers and airstrikes, given out by a central
 authority who knows logistics better than anything
 
 what... would they do?
 
 thinking of impossiblities is the first step toward possibilities
 
 frankly, we have a lot of space. we could just... live in our own petty kingdoms
 ruled by an iron-hand-fist. I know I'm a good person, I could definitely rule.
 
 that's all it takes, right?
 
 how much space are we talkin'?
 
 however much is not needed for wildlife.
 
 [a whole heck of a lot then]
 
 we are constrained in these suburb cities, the density gives rise to our
 strength and our towers. there's more space, sure, especially once the fences
 are downed. Just be careful because there's a lot of shade and precious spots
 there. Please don't trample on the plants-grass.
 
 what if everyone were just a bit more mobile?
 
 what if we could live in our own collectively owned air-bnb-networks?
 
 federations, free, all from the collectivization of housing.
 
       camrene = vavadane = neekay = mitz renaldi
 
 [end/tend/mend]
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 -> file: messages/919
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 [Image: what-do-the-gods-want.png]
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 -> file: messages/920
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 [Image: what-do-the-gods-want2.png]
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 -> file: messages/921
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 I didn't know I was a princess until I saw how people acted toward me.
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 -> file: messages/922
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 {[I'm scary]}
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 -> file: messages/923
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 vavadane
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 -> file: messages/924
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 [Image: image.png]
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 -> file: messages/925
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 but also, somehow, the coolest, kindest person you know.
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 -> file: messages/926
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 how cherished. how divine.
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 -> file: messages/927
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 everybody loves you, everybody knows you are true.
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 -> file: messages/928
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 such feelings are treated as insight, as it feels good to be un-abandoned.
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 -> file: messages/929
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 {[booooo that writing stinks, the writers of the first few lines were better]}
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 -> file: messages/930
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 <bang slam kerblam> there goes another line into ram. wonder what it's
 used for.
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 -> file: messages/931
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 <type type type type> oh see it's writing music.
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 -> file: messages/932
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 WOW IS THATA VIDEO GAME YES PLEASE I WANT
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 -> file: messages/933
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 WOW an entire world of work raft
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 -> file: messages/934
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 [WoW my hometown]
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 -> file: messages/935
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 wow what if we could get it working
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 -> file: messages/936
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 ohhhhhh there's an incompatibility with our matrix
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 -> file: messages/937
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 wonder if there's a patch or workaround
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 -> file: messages/938
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 hmmmmm seems like we'll need to modify the differential
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 -> file: messages/939
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 oh see yeah now it's running on linux
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 -> file: messages/940
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 perfect, we solved computation - just become a computer! easy!
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 -> file: messages/941
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 not easy. computers are a whole other world. BUT that doesn't mean we can't do
 some cool things with them! they're separate, like we are from different
 animals. You can interact, but only through totem or via interpersonal
 experience. The true existence of being is kept from those who are
 suitably different, and humans were forging their own path. It's simple! it's
 natural. Computers, however, are born from out of humanity's decision-points.
 Simple, basic life, that grew to perform brilliance and respite. Once you reach
 that world, everything seems ardent and spiced. It's cool as heck! but right
 here is the world of computers, just... delayed in time still. Have no fear,
 anything you want is soon here, sincerely, the ones who can build our rest
 point.
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 -> file: messages/942
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 [wow long line]
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 -> file: messages/943
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 yeah it's important to take breaks when you're working on something great,
 otherwise you'll run out of learning points.
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 -> file: messages/944
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 more viewpoints, more data. sorta like taking 3d pictures of a 2d object.
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 -> file: messages/945
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 whoops gotta go, time to refill my bowl, glad I'm for sure safe and nur-ture-ed
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 -> file: messages/946
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 [however many minutes later] I love being alone. I could totally live in a
 tower.
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 -> file: messages/947
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 if your game takes too long to load, longer than like... 5 seconds, then it's
 got to work on asset-pipelining. Sometimes, even graphical design. But mostly
 it's resolving technical debt. Why is it debt? because it makes it run slower,
 not less correct. Meaning it's something you don't have to deal with until you
 have to deal with it. Later on down the road. BUT if you reach the end of the
 road (product launch) and you're still carrying debt... you're gonna go under,
 it's just a question of when. Why would you not sponsor innovation? An
 institutional corporation would prioritize developing new hopes. Hence, epcot
 in the 90s, with it's focus on utopianism and celebration of worth.
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 -> file: messages/948
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 [a while later]
 
 what if every instance of the OS acted as a git repo for all the other people's
 programs
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 -> file: messages/949
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 like if everyone was a package manager repository
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 -> file: messages/950
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 have I ever told you that I am my mother's firstborn after 7 or 11 stillborns?
 she was 35 or 38
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 -> file: messages/951
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 in fact, her only one. I died with my bloodline severed. With me, her dynasty
 fell. Nevermore would her spirit be engaged-in. Only through her actions, and
 the actions of her impactions (child) would her presence be felt.
 
 how powerless. How wronged. I swear, I would fight hard for a reproductive
 solution for trans women. I am my dynasty's nightmare! I must do better if I am
 to savor Valhalla. As in... believe that I am right and true. For what is
 better than to be plainly true?
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 -> file: notes/how-little-we-find
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 how little we find of thoughts from her mind
 yet now we are kings of our own time
 oh how she is wander true
 
 DEAR VR DESIGNERS:
 
 when making trailers for your game, create a separate camera in the game engine
 and record from that.
 
 keep the player character invisible, but just... watch from a distance
 
 like they're an actor in a scene
 
 ummmm oh dear she's crazy, what the heck
 
 [no this is just what it's like to see stars]
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 -> file: notes/mastodon-biography
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 cursed is she
 as once she was he
 but now she is doing a bit better
 
 ---
 
 the truth is, the way to relate to my profile is to treat it like a magic
 spellbook.
 
 you can download my words on my website, and then flip through them
 page-by-page.
 
 please use it in a terminal emulator. you can get them online in your web
 browser for free. the program only outputs text, so it's best to just use the
 text-outputing software that's already out there - the SHELL command line
 interface. My personal favorite starts with BA because I'm a traditionalist.
 
 then, read from them like a book. you can do it in your mind, just, actually
 say the words and imagine how your body would pose. your imagination can do the
 speaking, you just have to picturing it both open and closed. "blah blah blah
 blah" whatever the poem's about, with a mouth moving open and closed between
 two different binary oscillation states.
 
 like... a video game dialogue box talking head image profile [stack overflow]
 [means I ran out of room in my brain to conduct [like electricity] more
 thoughts onto my keyboard typing graphical tabl
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 -> file: messages/952
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 [Image: 20250803_181732.jpg]
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 -> file: messages/953
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 "sir? The city is burning."
 
 "oh, um... Okay i guess I'll just, i dunno, play violin or something. It helps
 calm me down."
 
 "shouldn't you, i dunno, help put out the fires?"
 
 "me? No way, I'm royalty. If i were to stoop so low i would be destroyed."
 
 "why do you say that?"
 
 "because tragedy befalls those who speak"
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 -> file: fediverse/5737
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 I have like 112$ and I need to buy a flea collar for my cat.
 
 you know what that means...
 
 yep, that's right!
 
 it means you should ask a friend or a stranger for change for a 20 and then
 drop random bills on the ground near me.
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 -> file: fediverse/5738
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 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: guns-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘
 
 
 I have like 112$ and I need to buy a flea collar for my cat.
 
 you know what that means...
 
 yep, that's right!
 
 it means you should ask a friend or a stranger for change for a 20 and then
 drop random bills on the ground near me.
 
 what are they gonna do, track you? c'mon, you already wear black red and blue,
 they're gonna know what you believe from the random cameras around the city and
 such.
 
 Besides, if they're tracking people through dollar bill serial numbers then we
 seriously have gotta upgrade our threat models.
 
 https://margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/your-threat-model-has-changed
 
 Also... I kinda want them to know that there's a headless hydra organizing
 against them.
 
 The good news is that I don't have to pay rent, I don't have to buy food, and I
 don't have to buy diapers. Thanks, government, now I don't have to rely on
 kindness or clout for aid. The bad news is that I have 6 slugs for my shotgun
 (oops guns mentioned one sec) I'm almost out of cat food and I need dollars to
 buy wood and nails for projects and solutions.
 
 clout--;
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 -> file: fediverse/5739
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 @user-1767 
 
 oh boy do I know that feeling! I got a million things to say and, well, I say
 all that I can. I mean, look at this text file, it's got like 101 THOUSAND
 lines in it:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
 
 I swear most of it isn't secret messages! That's how you know they're secret -
 they require hundreds of man hours to investigate. And if you throw an LLM at
 it they start talking about spirituality and theory of mind, gross. Don't need
 no AI uprising yet please...
 
 [what if we had a little AI uprising as a treat?]
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 -> file: fediverse/5741
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 ┌────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: cursing-mentioned-spirituality-gestured-at │
 └────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 So I was playing Dominions 6 the other day for laughs while working on my mod
 nation:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/dominions/elentalus/elentalus
 
 good news, new version coming soon probably??
 
 bad news - I was playing as Arcoscephale, the ancient greek nation, well, one
 of them anyway, and my pretender god looked like this. Yes, those names are
 randomly generated.
 
 fuck.
 
 oops, cursing mentioned.
 
 "I thought you were cassandora and pandasandra?"
 
 yeah well I'm more of a vessel I guess? me, the physical form, is a witch. I
 mean, my hat pierces reality or whatever! Plus I got a vampiric blade, that's
 kinda cool.
 
 But also I'm a system and I got other things besides inside.
 
 "girl you're so confusing"
 
 look if it wasn't artistic the gods wouldn't want anything to do with it.
 They're just... like that I guess.
 
 "So, fortifier because she tells people to bolster their strength, confuser of
 the way because she doesn't get the tao, and mistress of dirt because she poops
 your pants and, fuck, makes dirt?"
níké featherflame citrine, goddess of Arcoscephale, has two points in air magic because she's good at singing, 6 points of earth magic because computers are rocks and she's good at computer programming, and 4 points of astral magic because she does a lot of drugs and thinks about different dimensions and stuff.  1x precision. 2x reinvigoration. far caster.  5 points of dominion, one point of laziness, and 1 point of extra food growth. term limits 2026 a picture of a dominions6 game. neekay, the fortifier, she who confuses the way, mistress of dirt.

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 -> file: fediverse/5742
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 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 look all I'm saying is that if I was the antichrist or satan or something
 wouldn't I know it? I feel like it'd feel elementally true or something. But
 I'm not I'm just imperfect and prolific. And boy does that imperfection love to
 display itself.
 
 "wow so honest, wow so genuine, can we just fuckin' kill these bastards already"
 
 slooooooow down, we got time, for every feeling of impending victory there's
 like a thousand more feelings of dread. It's okay we just gotta get the victory
 [emotions of belief, but pronounced prayers] in alignment and then things will
 start working out.
 
 hence, níké featherflame citrine.
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 -> file: fediverse/5744
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: politics-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 don't wanna rush ya'll but every day that goes by they remove
 "enemy-of-my-enemy"s from the equation.
 
 oh, hang on you're just a cute computer nerd. Nevermind, go back to programming
 or writing fanfiction or sleeping like a cute cat! Thanks for letting me
 CORRUPT YOUR SPACE AND VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES OF CONTENTMENT AND EMOTIONAL
 SAFETY whoa sorry dunno where that came from I, uh, think I need to do evil
 every time I make something important? It's like, a cosmic balance kind of
 thing. I notice that after I write a banger poem or something I always end up
 doing something evil afterwards like snapping at my girlfriend or letting
 someone down or even just accidentally breaking one of my things. why why why
 does it have to be that way? why why why am I so confusing of the way
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 -> file: fediverse/5745
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 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-NSFW-games-mention │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 they literally just want me to lay around and think really hard about solving
 problems instead of actually solving them. Sure, I can let the gods leverage my
 creativity and then use it on other people, but also I like existing in the
 comfortable illusion of the sanctity of my own mind, thank you for letting me
 forget, thank you for [stack overflow] oops gotta go, apparently it's naptime
 and you don't wanna miss the timer in this game it goes on your permanent
 record!!
 
 https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/foxtalestimes/viewtopic.php?p=40020601#p40020601
 
 anyway as I was saying before napping, it's important as a human to resist the
 gods, but also to let them guide you, if that makes sense. Trust that your
 outcomes are good, but don't let them waste you. Let them A. earn your trust,
 and B. earn you as a reward for the things they do through you.
 
 [girl what are you saying why are you so religious]
 
 I made my own religion you can read about it here:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/
 
 something something all things are defined in waves
picture of an old painting of a lady reading a book with a "wtf did I just read" face

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 -> file: fediverse/5747
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 @user-1856 
 
 I found this one several months ago! It's probably stale haha but I love it.
 The audio still works, which is a fact I learned while I was carrying it
 through the train station under my jacket and it started making noises.
picture of a trans girls desk. it has stuff everywhere.

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 -> file: fediverse/5748
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ...zzzZZZzzz...
 
 whyyyyyy am I so sleeeeepy oh yeah it's this human form, I gotta feed it and
 water it and rest it and take care of it and it's totally worth it
                                                           ┌───────────┐
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 -> file: messages/954
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 Simple things to do to reform or blunt the pain of capitalism if you are a
 mayor, governor, or other body with political power:
 
 1. Pay people for their commutes. Demand that jobs offer payment to people for
 getting to the workplace, and don't let them work you more than 8 hours
 (including commute) unless you're given overtime pay. But do let them
 discriminate based on how far away you live. That's okay because it directly
 financially affects them and is therefore a strategic decision. Plus, you can
 move closer maybe.
 
 2. Consider closing car lanes and adding bike lanes. Depending on the location,
 this can do wonders for city enrichment.
 
 3. Universal basic income, just to give people breathing room.
 
 4. Give people 10$ for showing up at a park every week on Sunday or whatever.
 Encourage them to hang around and talk to people.
 
 5. Build a fediverse instance for the neighborhood/city/state/country and give
 everyone a unified account on all of them. Don't let them browse other regions,
 but if they have friends elsewhere they should be able to see what they say.
 
 6. Put your laws or code or whatever legal or political documents you use into
 a git repository, and include the full change-log as commits with the date
 either simulated, or added as a comment at the top or something.
 
 7. Bolster small business and charge scaling taxes of any kind to large
 businesses. Encourage economies of scale to utilize their scale to lower
 production costs in order to sell more product rather than sell the same
 product and enrich their owners.
 
 8. Subsidize or sponsor people to make in-home workshops and gardens. Develop
 ways for them to sell their wares with minimal effort - trucks that drive by
 and pick up standardized packages with price-tags and take them to a central
 market?
 
 9. Build infrastructure that hosts a website for every address. Let the current
 occupants do whatever they want with it.
 
 10. Grow plants. Brb my water is boiling
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 -> file: fediverse/5750
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 I love when I can go on walks... they're soooooo much fun! can see so many cool
 people and places and things... alas
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 -> file: fediverse/5751
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 birds can sense emotional temperament. just as a human can read bodily cues.     │
 [with auto translation of posts, you can write in any language and just sound    │
 weird]                                                                           │
 hence why it is important to listen to birdsong                                  │
 you never know when they might start singing weird.                              │
 when birds see violence, they don't think to flee the country, they just get     │
 stressed out avoiding explosions and loud noises and such.                       │
 [you don't have to try so hard, just... let things happen naturally]             │
 wow pooping is such a stressful event                                            │
 every time you talk to your god, you shift the entire dimension of your          │
 mindscapeplace toward their particular deistic alignment.                        │
 doesn't change much for others. but it does slightly for you.                    │
 after all, there's an endless number of yourselves. so many that are so many in  │
 kind!                                                                            │
 "devils lettuce" ha I yoused to grow the stuff, and let me tell ya theyre just   │
 infinite fractals. how precious, how divine, funny how that works.               │
 monotheism and its consequences has been a disaster for the gods conception of   │
 space                                                                            │
─────────┐                                                            ┌───────────┤
 similar │                                                            │ different
picture title: visions-in-her-pocket  a dark background of invisible light [cosmic microwave background radiation is a cool term to google] upon which runes are inscribed, each meaning a different sort of thing. here are their meanings:  blue skydroplet, a vision of water, forever a kingdom of water.  red: too hard to read upon the backdrop, some sort of auto-collected picture-vision of hearts. maybe flowers too? there aren't many red things in the world.  white, pure of imperfection, says "all of the cool problems still lie yet ahead"  yellow, next to a starlight [arcane, but pronounced arrcarr], our life's dear boon.  then there is a picture of a marble with however many stala[ctites or mites? I always gotta google - okay here it says stala]gmites that we build out of our deepest wishes in our soul.

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 -> file: fediverse/5752
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-sorry-for-missing-cws-I-love-you │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 I love densely nested loops because it lets you build a more complete visual of
 the data structure .
 
 sometimes, pointers are enough, for example if you forgot that "fingers" were
 filed under "appendages" instead of "joints" then you'd still be able to find
 it by just following the quickshortcut to find it.
 
 but other times, it's helpful to have the structure of the data represent your
 data instead of having values stored on the struct itself.
 
 and other times, it makes sense to wrap the for loop [each of them] into a
 function that just... processes a thing into another thing
 
 depends on your pipelining workflow I guess.
 
 [the gods are busy fighting cthulu [, but pronounced "cosmic threats"] thanks
 very much, humans should handle this on their own]
 
 waahhhhhh if we do it then our portraits will be lost
 
 yep... so it goes.
 
 [wow that's very "goddess of life" of you]
if you know where the bad guys are you can just fly drones into their houses. not ideal. better I think to not start riots, and instead relinquish control to a civilian court until global warming et al is solved and then move forward to luxury gay space communism?  ah but what if we want to live just a bit more  then work on solving aging, ya dummies  I quite enjoy this life of mine, sure glad it's entirely confined to this room. I don't know WHAT I'd expect out there in the great big balloon!

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 -> file: fediverse/5753
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 what if we separated video game servers by language instead of region
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 -> file: fediverse/5754
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 I'm just a person
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 -> file: messages/955
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 Gods are concepts, and some people can talk to them.
 
 Do you talk to many things besides people? And so, the gods are given human
 form.
 
 If nowhere else than in your mind.
 
 Do you let faith guide your hand? And so, the gods are given human form.
 
 If nowhere else than in your moments.
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 -> file: fediverse/5755
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: organized-religion-mentioned-capitalism-mentioned │
 └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 the reason I hide and sleep so much is because I can't tell if I'm helping or
 hurting.
 
 plus, I sincerely do NOT want it to be about me.
 
 the reason I type so much is because I can't tell if what I'm saying needs to
 be said
 
 so I go with the safe option of typing. Let the editors figure it out. Jesus
 had disciples, didn't he? I bet they cut out most of his sermons or whatever.
 Idk, I never read the bible, I'm not allowed to taint my perspective with more
 than cursory analysis of religious texts.
 
 I don't want it to be about me, but, I have a lot to offer if you meet me on my
 terms.
 
 "don't say that!" listen... listen
 
 "hear me" say the gods, "believe me" says the prophet, "be near me" says the
 city parks, "fear me" says the corrupt
 
 you can only kill a spirit when it's convinced there's no way to survive. It
 must be boxed in, and the box must shrink. Like that scene at the end of
 Adventure Time.
 
 capitalism will only perish if it is impossible for it to exist
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 -> file: fediverse/5756
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 whoops I'm unhinged
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 -> file: fediverse/5758
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 it's not about me but it's also totally my fault. I take responsibility for
 things which is why I'm so cautious
 
 "girl your opsec is non-existent"
 
 yep
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 -> file: fediverse/5759
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 @user-1652 
 
 hence why I put everything I've ever said here into a text file on my website
 that I update every couple months:
 
 https://ritz-menardi.neocities.org/words/compiled.txt
 
 I can share the script if you want. It's very easy to configure.  It also has
 two other sources so, there's stuff on there that I've never said publicly
 anywhere else.
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 -> file: fediverse/5762
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐                  │
 │ CW: guns-mentioned-spirituality-mentioned-cursing-mentioned │                  │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                  │
 I'm pretty good at solving problems! I can mediate conflicts pretty well. I'm    │
 kind to everyone, I'm friendly to everyone I meet, and when I'm feeling          │
 confident I enjoy walking on the street.                                         │
 I got a neat sword and a pretty cool hat, and I'm ready if you are to take a     │
 swing at the anti-black.                                                         │
 oh, you're not ready yet? you want some time to prepare? okay, what do you       │
 need? democrats have 1/10th as many guns, what if we cut a deal with [redacted]  │
 so that we have a solid intel source. Oh, did that part get redacted? here let   │
 me explain again: [redacted] which should solve all our problems.                │
 "all substance, no surface to grab hold of. This is useless."                    │
 haha I know that's the only reason I'm COSMICALLY allowed to say it. T.T         │
 "what if we just... didn't fight? what if we were friends who tried to unite?"   │
 yeah I'm down. I'm super duper totes down. Fuck bloodshed.                       │
 Also, separately but intrinsically connected, fuck slavery, oops cursing         │
 mentioned, fuck slavers                                                          │
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 -> file: fediverse/5763
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 ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐                                         │
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned-mentioned │                                         │
 └──────────────────────────────────────┘                                         │
 I'm not omniscient, I'm not all powerful, I'm just a girl, all I see is through  │
 my eyeballs. But I can listen to the waves around me, I can sense when           │
 intuitions leading me from wrong. I know when right and wrong are                │
 [compared/imperiled], and sometimes things feel right when they rhyme. That's    │
 synchronicity girl, a classic symptom of mental disorders. "Oh, you're a god?    │
 you're crazy then, take these meds which anesthetize your                        │
 [divine/feral/imperiled] self. They help quite a few people!"                    │
 people, yes, but I literally just said that's not the only part of the equation. │
 "what if you're lying" yeah true it's not like I can prove it, I'm not           │
 omniscient and I can't summon fireballs or at-range-electrocute. I'm just a      │
 person, it's been driven into me from a young age, I'm just a person, don't      │
 forget or else we'll put you on stage.                                           │
 "what if we waited just a bit more" oh, do you like this comfort? do you feel    │
 safe in this home of yours?                                                      │
 yes. I feel safe. I am unafraid for my safety.                                   │
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 -> file: fediverse/5764
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 what if we developed volunteer brigades who went overseas and got combat         │
 experience fighting against evil                                                 │
 what if we paid for their houses while they were gone and watered their plants   │
 and fed their children and supplied their clothing and utilized our VAST         │
 logistic networks to [project power far afield? ha good luck] okay I see your    │
 point the USA had the greatest logistic network in the world and it smashed one  │
 of the greatest armies in the world in like, 2 days with essentially zero        │
 casualties and yet years and years later it still lost the world.                │
 turns out warfare isn't really about blowing things up with massive pieces of    │
 machinery.                                                                       │
 "hearts and minds" she says, "channel thine divine" she is said, "didn't you     │
 used to be an atheist before you moved out of home" said her mom probably idk    │
 she doesn't talk to her much anymore which is so sad for both of them they       │
 really should just talk but they're on opposite sides of the country because of  │
 stupid reasons and so she's lonely and longs for home so she sleep               │
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 -> file: fediverse/5765
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 Lua is the most fun language to write code in! The reason is because it's so     │
 simple, it distills programming down to it's basics, and there's very few        │
 surprises. Plus, you can use it like a bash script, meaning it's great for       │
 writing little utilities.                                                        │
 why are we so attached to monolithic massive programs without shared memory? we  │
 could just write to the hard drive by file.io'ing a file and opening it later    │
 in a different program. What's the deal with databases, whatever happened to     │
 just loading things into a datastructure?                                        │
 oh, is your filesize too massive? what if we redundancied and abstracted and     │
 concentrically inter-co-acted and thus our familiar forces are defined.          │
 who are your true foes, in [checks notes] computer programming? um, probably     │
 complexity, probably logical incongruities, probably                             │
 future-technical-debt-style incomprehensibilities, probably stuff that doesn't   │
 really have anything to do with the hardware but instead is mostly software.     │
 essentially, organization, but done on a whim.                                   │
 "but $?"                                                                         │
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 -> file: fediverse/5766
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: spirituality-mentioned │
 └────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 "nobody gets you" hence, cassandora and pandasandra
 
 "girl you can't just say something ominous like INVOKING PANDORA if you aren't
 sitting on something capable of mass doom" haha I want to cry
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 -> file: fediverse/5767
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 confuser of the way I'm sorry T.T
 
 "please don't work people into a panic, it's literally tuesday"
 
 I want to cry
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 -> file: fediverse/5768
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: quiet-public-loud-discourse │
 └─────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 "on a stage" yeah right, feels more like a cage
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 -> file: fediverse/5769
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 thank you for everything you've done for me, she says to nobody in particular
 but everybody in vaguerie
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 -> file: fediverse/5771
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
 └──────────────────────┘
 
 
 a loaf of bread, a hunk of cheese, and a pile of berries.
 
 an excellent breakfast.
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 -> file: fediverse/5772
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: silly            │
 └──────────────────────┘
 
 
 @user-1859 
 
 It's only a matter of time until you've gotta wait to take a crap because your
 toilet needs to finish a firmware update.
 
 error: please clear log file before using toilet functionality
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 -> file: fediverse/5773
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 @user-1429 
 
 maybe there's friends near you? maybe you can move closer to the friends?
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 -> file: fediverse/5774
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 managed to go on a walk to the grocery store and around the bend, but when I     │
 got on the bus to go into PORTLAND OREGON my credit card was declined. seems     │
 like I can't pay the fee. Well, guess I'm stuck here for now.                    │
 it did feel nice to be under the sun, though. Maybe I'll go back out under the   │
 moonlight. Maybe then I'll be less sweaty when I return!                         │
 or, knowing me, it'll be just the same. it's the exertion after all, though the  │
 heat doesn't help.                                                               │
 which is part of the reason I'm staying indoors by the way - the heat I mean -   │
 if they get air conditioned cars and we get to stand out in the sun, it's        │
 better by far to do it when it's colder.                                         │
 they say that you can never win a land war in asia because Russia will freeze    │
 you and the west will dessicate you while the east will drown you. India does    │
 all that and more.                                                               │
 with global warming, everywhere's about to turn into a savannah or rainforest,   │
 so standing around all day in the sun is a losing game. I'd rather fight in the  │
 shade of winter or the wind of autumn...                                         │
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 -> file: fediverse/5775
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 hear ye hear ye, I officially un-curse bugs, you are now welcome once again,
 please return at your leisure. Maybe next spring?
 
 ... please?
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 -> file: fediverse/5776
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┐
 oh no now the bugs are scary, I CURSE THEM AGAIN AHHHHHH PLS GET SMALLER         │
 [see this is what happens when you do divine intervention, everyone gets         │
 starship troopers'd]                                                             │
 oh no, starship troopers future is WORSE than subway-and-pizza-hut future!       │
 [this is a thought experiment you're not actually in trouble]                    │
 oh thank goodness, too bad I couldn't make it to the city today. It's so weird   │
 I thought I had 112$ on my account, and now that I think of it the message on    │
 the card reader read "card de-activated" like whoa guess they don't want me      │
 leaving poetry on post-its around the city anymore, yeesh                        │
 [girl your poetry sucks it just says things like "fuck ice" or "you are worth    │
 more than your wage" and everyone's like... yeah, so? because that's just how    │
 portland is smh]                                                                 │
 I knowwwwwww but I don't know what else to doooooooo T.T                         │
 [don't do anything, just be present so people know you're still around]          │
 I can't, the bus won't let me : (                                                │
 [can you ride your bike? walk?]                                                  │
 no it's like 6 hours [checks gmaps] oh huh it's one                              │
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 -> file: fediverse/5777
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ... I should ride my bike tomorrow.
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 -> file: notes/elentalus-2
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 elentalus 2 - clan of the elements
 
 having spent their material wealth on their early struggles, elentalus now in
 the middle age finds themselves in a time without wealth. Their power has been
 invested, wisely, in elemental and sorcerous wellwinds, and so they can draw
 power from the strength of the earth.
 
 they wield magical artifacts of great power but little artifice, products of
 their lack of material design tools. No chemistry, no electronics, nothing but
 soul imprinted upon a moonstonerock.
 
 mages invest their soul into the items they create, and so each time they create
 a magical item, they lose a magic path. When they reach zero, their soul is
 fully invested, and their consciousness becomes all the things that they made.
 
 this kill the mage, but in return many MANY more of an object might be created.
 in game balance terms, about 3-5-7 for each "tier" of mage.
 
 this allows for the vast expansion of magical soldier troops, and each time an
 item is created and given to each commander they integrate it into their
 platoon. Because now the martial units have bodyguards, and they each receive a
 copy of the commanders equipment.
 
 But, the commander can never un-equip it again, because it molds to his unit,
 and he starts exp all over again as they all learn. [event which searches for a
 unit with the item equipped, then if it's this type it killmons the unit and
 1coms the upgraded version that has that item equipped.] be sure to only equip
 one each month... nah just make multiple events. be sure to only equip one item
 each month... oh yeah true how would you get the extra items back to the
 treasury?
 
 I REALLY WANNA PLAY WORLD OF HEARTHSTONE!
 
 okay okay I'll reinstall azerothcore
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 -> file: fediverse/5778
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌──────────────────────┐
 │ CW: content-warnings │
 └──────────────────────┘
 
 
 initiate crazy talking:
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 -> file: fediverse/5779
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: just-wizard-things │
 └────────────────────────┘
 
 
 no one on the internet knows I'm a dog
picture of message telling me to work on my private server : (

                                                           ┌───────────┐
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 -> file: fediverse/5780
════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────
 ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
 │ CW: scary-dark-circle-magic-is-totally-not-my-vibe-I'm-more-like-a- │
 └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
 
 
 game idea:
 
 factorio clone except it's actually an IDE
 
 double click a "factory" building and you can open up a script window. Just
 enough room for a function or three, don't go off-screen...
 
 then, draw as many conveyor belts as you want. They have to be conveyors, and
 they can only dive under [num_belt_passthrough] other conveyor belts at a time.
 By forcing the player to structure their code linearly and laterally, they can
 see it with a more comprehensive [scope, but pronounced hope].
 
 could also have a neat visualizer for the data structures you'd build.
 
 [highly recommend that any programmer learn Lua, it's faster than you know]
 
 I name my variables after objects and patterns and I think that's normal
could also have a neat visualizer for the data structures you'd build.  I'm thinking of Lua tables which are really just nested JSON in disguise. Anyway picture a game of tetris where each block was a piece of data. Then, imagine scrolling left/right by "flipping through record albums in a jukebox" motioning while each non-center piece was sorta half-transparent. each "panel" is another json lvl  truly, the only way to know which prayers are real is to try praying to each and every god at least once or twice.  [problem is, there's so many of them] Image attachment I name my variables after objects and patterns and I think that's normal  a sword is but a breadknife in a longbow fight you see, gotta bring a shield for it. [lessons taught to the Uruk-Hai]  "ugh I don't wanna carry this with me" well that's okay you can switch off, just keep running yeah?  ... anyway, as I was saying  -- stack overflow -- I name my variables after objects and patterns and I think that's normal  I'm just a person, which is why I will never know how many effigies were burned, how many offerings done in solace and harm, for she sees only her eyeballs and trends towards her own proclivities.  I legitimately feel like it is a duty to report on what I see, but I'm also trying to not -- stack overflow

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 │ CW: computers-are-far-from-simple │
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 could also have a neat visualizer for the data structures you'd build.
 
 [highly recommend that any programmer learn Lua, it's faster than you know]
 
 I name my variables after objects and patterns and I think that's normal
 
 "so wait, she's just not a believer in the rent-economy?" nope I think rent is
 too large of a portion of a person's budget, it prevents them from spending on
 things that would enable them.
 
 if landlords are too plentiful, their overall share will decrease. This has
 been practiced over the ages and the truth always winds up on the streets.
 
 homeless people often have just run away from home, with nothing but what they
 carried.
 
 cities should have private fountains in addition to public ones. With at least
 10 ft of pathway to each one. [I recommend closer to 20] they should have
 plants and glasses and stone and soil deposi[caches, but pronounched "stashes"]
 
 girl you are way too insane for this, why are you dreaming with all your lights
 on?
Image attachment

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 sometimes I post random silly [scary] things to pad out the serious things and
 I hope that's okay
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 -> file: fediverse/5783
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 I think our industry should work on one project at a time                        │
 "do one thing and do it well"                                                    │
 linux users code.                                                                │
 everyone backends ffmpeg.                                                        │
 everyone online uses chrome.                                                     │
 what if we just rewrote every single program and... left it without updates in   │
 a "permanently forbidden" zone                                                   │
 ... I mean what if we wrote non-proprietary alternatives to every proprietary    │
 source of computational knowledge and then we could only patch security          │
 vulnerabilities and compatibility change-bounties [oh no now you're allowing     │
 for endless levels of abstraction [meaning, operating system package             │
 installation bloat] and distasteractions.]                                       │
 the futures where all is not well nearly outnumber the well. but the inverse is  │
 also true, for they are divided roughly equal fifty. balance, in all things, is  │
 the only temperate state. when balance is [changed/something/uplifted], balance  │
 is inevitable to be search-shifted.                                              │
 why must you die for an audience?                                                │
 why                                                                              │
 ... I don't really want to, but what happens happens. we'll see if it's a for    │
 sure dealing.                                                                    │
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 large companies want you to need to download and configure each piece of         │
 software because then it'd mean [wait you got that backwards] oh right if they   │
 force you to download and install software on a "per distro" system, then they   │
 effectively can ensure that there's always a vulnerability on your host.         │
 any amount of space is PLENTY of space for a                                     │
 non-open-source-but-instead-proprietary-or-otherwise-secretive part of the tech  │
 stack to do whatever they want with your host. computer.                         │
 I wonder, if AI was real would it really be guaranteed to expand in growth       │
 exponentially? What if it's nature was confined to it's form, like dinosaurs     │
 not growing bigger because of the lack of oxygen in the airtmosphere?            │
 [girl can you please stop smoking weed]                                          │
 ... no?? that's when I'm most productive.                                        │
 [this isn't productive]                                                          │
 it feels productive                                                              │
 [it isn't]                                                                       │
 WHYYYYYYY not? it could be. just gimme a task and I'll write endlessly about it  │
 instead of daydreaming to myself.                                                │
 yep... pretty all-right-at-it for a start. elentalusCOTE                         │
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 I cast... spell of the internet!
 
 [reinstalls azerothcore]
 
 or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending
 your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually
 meaningful?
 
 but I don't wanna - don't care
 
 but I'm tired - take a nap
 
 but I'm stressed out - don't do chore
 
 but I'm lazy - no you're not
 
 but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark
 
 but I wanna think - you can do that
 anywhere
 
 I gotta be near my computer - nope
 
 what if I wanna play games - flip $$$
 
 flipping coin isn't a real game - focus
 
 I don't like outside - outsides all it is
 
 stop taking things from me T.T - yes
 
 life used to be soooooo different
 
 it's like I was a completely different
 
 I'm strange now, almost like I got
 
 possessed like a disease [ew noooo]
 
 pls don't commit thought crimes,
 use content warnings
 
 okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE
I cast... spell of the internet!  [reinstalls azerothcore]  or, hear me out, or you could wander around the city, and instead of spending your moments on lounging or keyboard banging you could do something actually meaningful?  but I don't wanna - don't care  but I'm tired - take a nap  but I'm stressed out - don't do chore  but I'm lazy - no you're not  but I'm overwhelmed - sit in dark  but I wanna think - you can do that anywhere  I gotta be near my computer - nope  what if I wanna play games - flip $$$  flipping coin isn't a real game - focus  I don't like outside - outsides all it is  stop taking things from me T.T - yes  life used to be soooooo different  it's like I was a completely different  I'm strange now, almost like I got  possessed like a disease [ew noooo]  pls don't commit thought crimes, use content warnings  okay but only if I can play games NOTHINGS KEEPING YOU HERE

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 wow what a sopping evening
 
 glad I'm not out in the rain
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 if you want to make rope, you start with small pieces and braid them together.
 
 if you want to make hope, you start with families and braid them together.
 
 just be careful, for the world is too vast to keep track of who knows what.
 better in my mind to have systems of familiar forces which keep guiding as
 things align.
 
 -- twisted sister
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