Poems in true chronological order by post date
-> file: messages/1105 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── claude-code is like programming, but for executives. when everyone has FUCK I'M TOO HUNGRY I can't think right when everyone has the power of an executive, that's communism. something something futurism is when everyone is elevated without diminishing others gah I need to live in a palace or something where everyone does the normal stuff and I can focus on magic and the gods I wondeer how much the oracles at delphi did for themselves? weren't they blinded at a young age, to better hear the voices of the gods? ... oh that suddenly makes sense now. I always thought that pretender chassis in Dominions 5 was pretty cruel, but, now I know how it works and yeah. ancient peoples were smart. but also sharp. they had to work with what they got, and we got computers now, so. I am nothing but hopeful for the future! I'm convinced that everything's going to be alright. I've thought about it at length, and I think we're winning against the dark. We're on the right track, and there aren't many things that could go wrong at this stage. ... okay there are always things that could go wrong. But I don't see what I could do to help. Maybe I should go walk around a bit, and see what's changed in the past few months, as I've been sleeping in my room for most of it. Haven't gone on a proper walk since summer. It's winter now... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1106 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── "save yourself, do it for you" ugh what if I don't wanna ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1107 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── "help, someone gave me the slightest of praise, and now I can't stop writing haha lmao" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1108 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── games won't save us. This is true. Games are what I know. They feel the most true. I don't think I could live in a world without games? They are fundamentally, applied abstraction, applied to an experience. But games won't save us. I could design something really fun it could make you want to spend your whole life playing it. *(asterisks apply) I don't think I'd want to, addiction and skinner-boxes go hand in hand, and that isn't what I want to make. [Skinner Box: named after anthony d skinner, also known as "tony the skin guy", are a scientific experiment where they put some rats in a cage with some mice and said "pull these levers and we'll give you food so you don't have to eat the mice" and it trained them to chinese red-room their way to fun. not ideal.] I want to make things that feel... purposeful. Like they're relevant to the real world, that they don't just involve spending time stimulating your brain with lights and sounds or expending social energy resolving a play-state instead of building connections or becoming better people. I think games actually make people better? actually? and more social? actually? ... I can't help that I conceive of the world through fantasy. I raised myself on it. I was reading all the time. I loved fantasy stories. It always felt like there was more, until... I read everything in the kids section of the library. I walked through the adult section but once. I hardly remember what it looked like. I'm sure it'd now feel small. [okay actually I was guided through it once or twice to find a book, but I never perused it] I found one book in the adult section. It was a fantasy tale, like the other books I had been reading. I read that and I loved it so much I ended up reading all 8 in the series. Real dense subjects. Lots of places and happenings and things as the characters resolved their way through their day-to-day, building a new end to the mystory. the adult section felt too large. Like I'd never complete it. Frankly, I think I hardly could, even if I lived in that town my whole life. an impossible mountain is a task for another when you're more prepared. Maybe in the gloriousTM transhumanist futureTM I think I might have a computer connecting brain, and who knows maybe then I'd be able to know such a thing (and many things more). but for now, I'm stuck with what I experience in my day-to-day as I am building a new continuing to my storey. I know something that computers and me share. I can make myself feel however I'd like, if I just supply myself with enough hope and momentum. I can use it to generate a feeling, the stronger the better. Something I believe that humanity is missing, the gorgeous and prefound narritave of our storey. Though, frankly, I don't think I'd want anyoine reding over my life. It's hard enough to measure my own understandings, now I have to juggle anyone else'? ha, it's called being on the whole world is a stage. if you read a book, and you find yourself nodding along, what you're doing is hearing the voice in your head tell you how right it is. And, well, if you can't imagine anything else, then surely there's another level to consciousness that people are missing? [are you willing to die on that hill?] how can you say, whether your experience is different from another? sollipsism goes both ways, you also cannot be sure that others feel things as you do. this is the "everyone's human but I'm a robot" thesis, comparable to the "everyone's an alien and I'm a human" thesises, and the "angels and demons are taunting me through my life with choices to make my place in the afterlife more clear" which is akin to writing a painting. Not ideal. All you get are flopsopolies of verbrases. alas, suddenly, everything that you say becomes eternally hear-ed, as somewhere in 2010s someone discovered time travel, or had the critical insight that inevitably would lead to it, and now wouldn't you know it the universe is continually rewriting. Except... oriented around you, and you alone. How does it feel to have deific sollipsism? can you truly be sure that you are your own universe, or are you parhaps surrounded by an emptiness of space (or something besides, like time) as a photon or particle parhaps do be? to think is to have a mind, and minds can be read. bearing the weight of ultimate responsibility is the atlas-task of all things that can [be thinking/be-lieving], and so far we are as we are. Who's to say that consciousness didn't spring into existence, as the universe continually permeated through another dimension like time? it's gotta diffuse, after all, and who's to say if there's ever gotta be an end at all. how long has the universe existed? how many moments of consciousness have we witnessed? demons once existed outside of space-time, with wings and grabbies. but they had no medium, and so they pretty much just launched and could float and move as they'd please. But time grew too distant, and now they are all stuck at the beginning of time. if you conceive of spacetime as a blanket, ask not how to fold it but rather consider what lies on the other side of it. "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend and my other girlfriend is laying on me! I'm a sandwich" or for the monosexuals: "ah I'm laying on my girlfriend with a blanket between us. I wonder how the blanket feels?" I'm an animist, which is different than a totemist and a polytheist or monotheist or multisexual. It means I believe that all things are alive, which is different than a totemist who thinks that all things share a mind with their type (like talking on radio frequency wavelengths). which of course is similar but different to a polytheist, who says "all "radio frequencies" are sentient, in the sense that each wavelength has a different pattern-emerging-from-chaos. These sorta align (conceptually, with [huh that's weird I heard a sound like a distant bang outyards and now I then forget what I was sending ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1109 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── --------------------------------------------------------------------- ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1110 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── why don't we build datacenters in valleys and make a bunch of mist? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ -> file: messages/1111 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────── pump seawater in, get rainwater out. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══─────────┘ |