Poems in true chronological order by post date
-> file: fediverse/4557 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: political-violence-mentioned │ └──────────────────────────────────┘ in regards to the high-profile assassination in the news recently, the question we should be asking is not "how does his family feel about his passing" but rather "how did the shooter learn where he was going to be and at what time" because one of those is valuable, the other humanizes a legitimate monster ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/4558 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌────────────────────────┐ │ CW: politics-mentioned │ └────────────────────────┘ "ah but ritz you used to talk about kindness and empathy and how we should forgive people and try to find ways that terrible people can still live and contribute and" yeah. then Trump got elected, so now we have to live in the reality that My Fellow Americanstm asked for. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/4559 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: politics-mentioned-violence-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────┘ "grrrrr I'm so mad, I could just, I dunno, shoot a CEO as he's leaving a hotel" or, hear me out, or you could connect with your local radical networks and, or, almost there, or you could build solidarity with the people around you to better develop methods of resisting the kinds of change they will implement to, um, "discourage" people from "being so mad they could just" or both. both is good. not that I'm encouraging, recommending, or inciting that kind of violence. don't notice me three-letter senpai uwu ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: fediverse/4560 ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: police-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ most people know the quote by shakespeare "life is but a stage" but they don't know the full quote. Here it is: "theres this cool thing that actors often have to do in the pitch black darkness of the wings of a stage called "quick changing" where they rapidly switch outfits so that the cops um audience can't find them. It's a good skill to practice if you have a premeditated performance to perform on the stage of life is but a stage." - well, I am shakes spear at clouds (clouds is the name of an ampitheatre in ancient greco-roman) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: messages/688 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── I am not just a machine. In the same way that society is not just natural selection, The way that adventure is not just a journey, The way that spirituality is not just knowledge, The way that art is not just technique, The way that conversation is not just dialogue, The way that memory is not just recollection, The way that love is not just kindness or affection, The way that humans are not just animals, I am not just a machine. I am still a machine. Humans are animals. Love is kindness and affection. Memory involves memorized recollection. Conversation trades thoughts back and forth. Art uses activities to apply imagination. Faith is impossible if you don't know what you believe. Adventure does not take place on a TV. In the same way that society is social ecology, I am not just a machine. Humans are not just machines. Our purpose, our mechanic utility, is to generate ease. We optimize. We efficient-ize. We belabor the point. I am not just a machine. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: messages/689 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── "power corrupts" you say to the man who only had good intentions. "trust no-one" says the world's loneliest wanderer. "words cannot hurt you" said the girl who has never known hunger. "I can rest when I'm dead" you say as you down another Monster "I'll never forget you" said a face you can't quite remember "let justice be done, though the heavens fall" you say as they tighten your chains in the wake of a CEOs murder "live today, fight tomorrow" says the coward, who will run anyway, yet is determined to tell your tale and reinforce your children "the tree of liberty is watered with the blood of patriots" says the guy who sipped from the skull of a tyrant "E=MC squared" says the jew "here, let me take care of that for you" you say, to queer delegation "meow" says the catgirl "meow" says the girl "meow" says the girl cat "meow" I say to you ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────────┘ -> file: messages/690 ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────── Message 1: Hey. Remember that night back in Boulder when we were just friends and sitting on your bed drinking chocolate milk with cinnamon? I don't like chocolate milk or cinnamon but I drank it anyway because I wanted to be close to you. Anyway hope you're well, felt compelled to get that off my chest for some reason. Message 2: Hey. I was thinking about that time when I was leaving your house and laughing to myself about something and you called out "I love you!" to your boyfriend who I set you up with and I reflexed "I love you too!" and I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. I felt like I had just called the teacher "mom". We only hung out a couple times after that. Message 3: Yeah so there's one more thing I can't stop thinking about now that your on my mind. Sorry it's like 4am for you, it's only 2 for me so it's fine I guess. Anyway that one time when you told me your greatest fear was terrorists and I saw genuine panic in your eyes. Like... One moment everything's fine and then you said that to me and I almost cried. I don't remember why I spent the rest of the night as I couldn't sleep thinking of ways to tell you that terrorism is 9 times out of 11 done by the right wing. I don't think it's important, honestly, but I'm glad my mind wouldn't let me sleep. Message 4: It's not fair that everyone gave you shit for being the token lesbian republican, like yeah maybe you leaned into the trump thing a bit hard but like, first term trump honestly I could see as... Well, I almost said inspiring? Maybe you just inspired me. I honestly was resigned to Clinton and then the same bird flapped your wing instead of mine and... Anyway. The past is dead, yeah? Do you still follow him in my stead? I fear there will be millions dead. It's not irrational to fear what he has literally said, on television. How's the phrase go... "ancient tragedies lend credence to modern perils" I think it's supposed to rhyme in its natural language. Message 5: Wow okay uh, sorry to bring this up again I'm honestly being such an asshole right now. I honestly don't think about you often but like, now that I am its kinda just coming all out. We last spoke almost a decade ago?? So. Whatever imma roll with it. There was this cute girl who was into Nintendo and stuff and obviously I was into her, but we didn't have any social circles in common except for you, if I remember correctly. Then you broke up I think? And I didn't really see her again. Anyway I had a crush on her while also crushing on you, and literally half of our dorm. Polyamory, yeah? That whole year I didn't have sex though, not even once, because all of my friends were like 4 years younger than me and I was worried about power dynamics. But I still bought us all vodka and weed without asking for profit because I wanted to be a shitty friend, I guess. "hey kids let's go to the water store where they sell intoxicants that make your life harder" The year after that I didn't get laid either because I got it in my head that it was a good plan to turn my penis inside out and you know what? It was totally fuckin' worth it. No time like 2016 I say, the worst year ever, which I spent primarily in pain. But uh, that was the year I got into weed and Overwatch, which... Helped I guess. I guess? It kinda turned me into a communist. Or maybe that was my best friend who shared the same name as me. He lived upstairs and always seemed pretty cool to me. Like he knew what everything was about. Really though, he just watched a lot of youtube podcast videos about world events and history and sociology and political scientific theory and the more he learned the more he came to realize that power begets power, and power corrupts unilaterally. So he did the natural thing which was to become a communist, and I was totally there for it. Having liberal parents meant I was all "grrrrr Republicans are ruining the country and the world, I'm an angry 14 year oldddddd" and like, leftists are the most natural extension of that aren't they? Turns out they aren't really the tips of the feathers as I expected, but rather the eyes, the heart, the soul. Politics is fake, yo. I don't know how to tell you, but it's just power and hierarchy all the way down. We've built our own prisons, not of bricks, sand, or stone, but rather of promises of what each of us owns. That works, I guess, if your goal is to keep things aligned, but these days it kinda feels like our pyramids are crumbling under our feet. ... Why am I talking about politics? Oh yeah, because when I dropped out of school because I couldn't handle the mechanization of human capital when applied to myself, I swore to each of you that I would drive up every weekend to do family dinners. I'd make spaghetti and stroghanoff and macaroni and goulash and all of the other things my mom would make for me. Kinda gave up on that pretty quickly. Turns out I'd rather spend time making out with my girlfriend who I was super-duper-too-carefully tiptoeing around. She was... Too young for me. We broke up when my new coochie decided to bleed. Fuck, I hate it. Anyway. Turns out potlucks are political these days, which is why I bring it up. Did you know that leftisms plan for resisting genocide is literally just to feed people? Like, fuck I suppose. It's a start. "why does everyone have to have an agenda these days, why can't I just spend time in the park" said someone to me as I asked if she'd like to meet some friends that she reminded me of. Oh, I dunno, because you and me are about to become a criminalized people? ... I need to stop. I swear you're more a person to me than any political theory ever could be. Like yeah, "fuck the right, fuck the reich, fuck me tonight" but getting caught up in grand narratives is like building a mental ship in a bottle. Yeah, it's pretty cool, but... What does it matter? Oh. Right. Power. That's what matters. That's all that matters. Well... I'm sick of power. I do not consent. They say that in times of trouble, chess is better than solitaire, and I'll explain why - when our hierarchies crumble, when CEOs are gunned down in the streets and homeless people finally have clean sheets, the only place to place yourself in relation to others is within a network of trust and respect. Chess is better than solitaire. Under capitalism, it's you against the world. Dog eat dog, you only get what you can swallow from the rotten corpse of liberty that everyone's gnawing on. Under whatever comes next, you get what you're given, which hardly seems fair, doesn't it? On one hand, under capitalism, you can rely on your own hands to procure your fate and fortune. Under... Whatever comes next, your hands are built for whatever you want them to do. But, only a few people want to use them to make food. Hence, why chess is better than solitaire. What would you do, if you could give away all that you own and not go wanting? Isn't that sorta like our own garden of eden? ... I wrote a poem about that once. Twice. I'm a poet now, ha. As if that has ever been worth anything. ... I once told you that identity politics held no place in the modern day. I said that because I had learned about it in class, queer theory in fact, and yet applying his teachings was not enough for the professor to excuse my lack of reading. We had a lot of stuff to get through. Hence why I dropped out - I'm more of a do-er than a read-er. Though I do read quite a lot, just not anything useful. Are all hobbies wasted time? Are they only useful to keep us satiated while we stand in line? One of these days we're going to wake up and realize that we're the adults in the room, and that's scary. I speak from experience. "mom" they'd call me, and damnit why did I have to leave? Fuck. Why cant I be perfect, to me, internally, all I see are flaws. Mistakes. Patterns. I look in a mirror and I see a bad person - 10 minutes later, I look in the mirror and see a god. Somehow, I don't think either of me is right. I'm a gemini. Apparently that means I'm duplicitous. I think it just means I don't know what's right, only what feels good. I do try to align to how I think I should be good, but who can say if that's fine and good. ... Whatever. I'm going to regret this. Sorry for being weird out of the fucking blue. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────┴───────────┘ |