=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── instead of reading the room, I try to be the room. I think that's part of being autistic. But it also helps things get going. Whenever I see a subpost that might relate to me, I take it seriously, so feel free to boost things that you know I'll read if you'd like to speak to me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/1575 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── "I see your value now." -> the best thing you can believe about a~~n autistic~~ person ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #2 messages/1462 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "I'm not autistic, I'm just a different kind of person than you." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ --- #3 fediverse/2614 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── literally just... if you want to connect to me, come hang out on my wavelength. or like, invite me to join yours, and I'll do my best to show how I feel about the things you share. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/1401 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ some people are the memory kind of autistic, where they know everything about │ ║ a thing and it's the coolest thing │ ║ │ ║ I'm more like... the optimizing autistic, where everything has to be perfect. │ ║ and if it's not perfect, then you should change it. and if you can't change │ ║ it, then you should tell someone else to change it. and if nobody can change │ ║ it, then you should consider it part of the context / starting variable and │ ║ then just say "okay" and treat it like it's normal and something you should │ ║ use to inform the rest of your optimization actions / decisions. │ ║ │ ║ other people are other kinds of autistic that's not a comprehensive │ ║ classification system. But I mention the first kind explicitly so I can │ ║ contrast it with my experience, which is implied to be [impulsively?] │ ║ different in the kind portrayed in the following contrastion, where I mention │ ║ how I'm autistic and don't get "irony" or "sarcasm" that people on the │ ║ internet seem to revel in in a way that makes me feel isolated and anyway │ ║ optimization is great becaus │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #5 fediverse/4810 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── I can type my thoughts 1000x more coherently than I can speak them. Hence why I post here. feels useless to speak 1on1 - feels insular to speak to a group. Hence why I speak here, which is totally public that anyone might see, and somehow I feel so much more productive engaging in an endless conversation with myself. you can't win a war by walking in circles... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴───────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/710 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── @user-532 autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're telepathically suffused with the ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/4684 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── you know what they say, an autistic in motion stays in motion, an autistic at rest... now I gotta rest on the bus for an hour or two. wish me luck. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┴───────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/834 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ wonder if any autistic peeps can relate: │ ║ │ ║ growing up, my mom would chastise me for doing "the bare minimum" when │ ║ completing tasks. │ ║ │ ║ yes, mom, I fulfilled the requirements of the task. I have a lot of other │ ║ things to attend to, like remembering how to tie my shoes and measuring things │ ║ using a ruler. why would I waste effort that wasn't necessary? │ ║ │ ║ when I grew up, I had a mentor, who told me to "never half ass things, because │ ║ then someone like me will have to do it again." │ ║ │ ║ and that makes sense to me because context switching requires effort and it │ ║ doesn't make sense to leave something half-finished because then there's │ ║ wasted effort spent on things that don't matter. All of the tasks have to get │ ║ done, so why bother doing them in a mixed up order? │ ║ │ ║ wish I could study things in school like that. just... focusing on one thing │ ║ at a time, learning it to completion, and moving on to the next. I feel like │ ║ I'd develop a better understanding than only knowing like, 1/3rd of CPR or │ ║ very vague understandings of plate tec │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/1010 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── I'm done trying to be neurotypical. So what if I starve. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/3610 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── I must be the only autistic person in the world who can't stand parallel play... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/3096 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── my default assumption is that nobody wants to hear what I say. so every time I click post, it's an act of bravery against my internals ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/3372 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── I don't really need to know if people like me. It's nice, but it doesn't help me. I do, however, desperately want to know *if I'm helping*. Knowing this would help me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/253 --- ════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────────── @user-201 this post hurts my autism T.T ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/2855 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── I refuse to be known by anyone who doesn't *know* me. But I'm always meeting people anew, so if they spent some time with me and saw more of my facets, perhaps they might come to know me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/6236 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── I legitimately think everyone in my life is just as cool as me they just... don't know how to know it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧───────────┘ --- #16 messages/78 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────── My biggest fear as an autistic transgender incontinent schizophrenic person is that one day I'll become a game of hot potato for my relatives to pass around ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #17 messages/1388 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I spend time on Reddit because it feels like a conversation. Well, it used to. Now it's... different. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ --- #18 fediverse/1280 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ I'm like the opposite of a politician. I'm crude and filthy, apsolutely │ ║ reprehensible on main, kinda scary tbh? and overall just a strange and weird │ ║ person. Also I talk about cooking a lot, with a very plain diet (carrots and │ ║ rice and sticks and mud, because I'm an autistic) │ ║ │ ║ but ask anyone who knows me and I'm the kindest person. I am empathetic, I │ ║ think about others needs before thinking of my own. I am steadfast and │ ║ dedicated to solving the problem in front of our noses. At least, the ones we │ ║ share. │ ║ │ ║ People tell me I'm binary, that I'm "either 100% or zero percent" and I don't │ ║ really get that either. Isn't it a good thing to try your hardest? Isn't it │ ║ good to be improving and honest and ethical and driven and focused? │ ║ │ ║ I also talk about strange things a lot, like gravity and multidimensional │ ║ arrays and grand narratives and emotional kinesthesia or strategic plays in │ ║ Overwatch or how to bake a good cookie or ways we still mourn us. │ ║ │ ║ ... where was I going with this? Also part of me is distracted. Just who th │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/5698 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── you can't rely on me because I can't rely on a part of me being "out" at any particular moment-event-message. besides, I'm always tired, because I'm always trying as hard as I can. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴───────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/3975 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── @user-1631 for most of my life... [okay still do]... but it felt like I had different moods, and depending on how I felt at the time I would act differently. I forget the things that happen when I'm in a different mood, but I've gotten to a point where I can generally force myself to stay a certain "mood" while in certain contexts, and in doing so I can remember everything. downside is I get burnt out pretty easily if I'm always the same. It's not ideal. ... anyway if you talk about what you experience then your friends can point you toward people who "get" you. like, my parts don't have names, we don't have a group chat or whatever, it's just... me, but different shades of me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #21 fediverse/3432 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── "you're telling me that I've been special needs this whole damn time and nobody told me?" *to be fair to* nobody *you're pretty good at hiding it* ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #22 messages/299 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── That feeling when you tell someone you're [trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from their eyes ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #23 fediverse/1381 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── ┌────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: death-mentioned-nuts-mentioned │ └────────────────────────────────────┘ I'm a bit of a narcissist because I had a lot of... alone time as a kid, and I was a bit starved for attention. but I'm also afraid of rejection so if you have anything to say I'll listen for hours and try to be what you need me to be and give what you need me to give so that you don't leave me. Also, nobody has ever hurt me. And so I trust wholely and completely and absolutely. I get logically why that's not a good move but frankly I'd rather die than be cooperative. ah nuts better add a content warning. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #24 fediverse/5597 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: MH---, sui ideation │ └─────────────────────────────┘ @user-1370 If you don't have the energy, then people need to take care of you. Maybe they do anyway. If you're anything like me, and in this regard I think we might be similar, having people take care of you is *important*. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴───────────┘ --- #25 fediverse/2975 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── @user-1411 doctors (the ones who are diagnosing autism) don't care about classifying people. I personally don't believe they should. Instead they try and classify *symptoms*, and if you don't present any negative symptoms then there's little reason to talk to a doctor. Meaning little reason to seek out an autism diagnosis except for curiosity. I was the kid you were describing btw, except *maybe* with a bit of neglect thrown in around ages 4+ ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #26 notes/my-people --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─ I have never met one of my people. we never talk. we just don't. I have no idea what they might want from me, so I just do as they won't. And as I want. the result is... borderline catastrophe, but missing, only just. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═══════════┘ --- #27 messages/925 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── but also, somehow, the coolest, kindest person you know. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴───────────┘ --- #28 messages/109 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────── That's why I like talking about things I'm interested in. It makes me more likely to be able to bring up something I've been thinking about. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #29 fediverse/3130 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── "are you helping or hurting?" I'm speaking. I'm sorry. Some works hurt some and help others. Honesty and being true to yourself is important, but there's a time and place for some words. I'm kinda bad with timing, if you couldn't tell... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #30 fediverse/4942 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── @user-1755 ... I do that, but I do it because I want to find common subjects to talk about. Or I think "if I was working on a project, who can I ask if I need help?" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴───────────┘ --- #31 fediverse/5556 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── I have never been given anything other than positive affirmation. it's the silence that counts. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴───────────┘ --- #32 fediverse/2481 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── on one hand, conversation to spark insight. on the other, being connected to me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #33 fediverse/5275 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────── autistic people have control over their eyesight and can use it to display their attention to things. [error, redirection occured. please view intermittently: "most people assume that since autistic people aren't looking at them (which is a common but not universal trait in people who display attention by observing with their oracular impulses) but instead it's often just that they are looking somewhere else at the time.] "yes, honey, dear, you are the only species alive in the universe. I'm afraid it's really quite dim, except at the places where we couldn't quite block out the sunlight." - someone with something to hide "GISHGALOPTHELOT" oh no now I'm defundemonetized. how paralyzing/de-escalational. I currently have no way to share any video content I might come across. my youtube channel was banned. because I showed a boob oneeee time. okay, in one video. Then, they said that my content was not fit to be viewed on youtube, or anywhere. and that kind of hurt my feelings. "*are... am I the baddies?*" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────┴───────────┘ |