=== ANCHOR POEM === ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── when people are kind to me, I start feeling sad. I don't know why. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/4190 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── I also feel other things, like compassion and warmth, but... still a little bit sad. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/3122 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── @user-999 whenever I am, I feel ashamed. whenever I'm not, I feel guilty. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/1650 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-1052 am depressed... though I care less for society's opinions and more for my adherence to my ethical morals. same effect different reason when it's time to shame myself. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #4 messages/1336 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────── Somehow, it feels like nobody is all that interested in me. Like nobody wants me, that they want me to disappear and stay hidden. This is of course just dark whispers trying to be purified by me. Surely, surely that must be so. Maybe I'm depressed. This happens sometimes. Maybe I'm feeling threatened. This happens sometimes, especially when things are uncertain. Is this the day when my food will be poisoned? Is tomorrow when i get kicked out of homeschool? Maybe I forgot something important yesterday but I can't recall whether I'm at liberty to recall. Maybe I'm feeling lonely. I am feeling lonely. Yep that's probably it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧════───────┘ --- #5 fediverse/3859 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ "it's weird how depressed I am" says the girl who is always depressed ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/4055 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── I'm pretty sure the people who live near me are repulsed by me ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #7 messages/274 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── Can't help but wonder If I ever was a real person at all ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/3372 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── I don't really need to know if people like me. It's nice, but it doesn't help me. I do, however, desperately want to know *if I'm helping*. Knowing this would help me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/795 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mh- │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-8 I get that. I don't cry anymore except in my imagination. Sometimes it helps to imagine myself doing it though, like some kind of mental catharsis. the body gets left out but at least the mind is soothed. I usually am most upset when I'm lonely. Maybe you could find someone to hold you close? I hope you feel better sooner rather than later. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #10 messages/238 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── The world does not deserve to bear such a sorrowful one as me ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/6027 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────── some days I feel like someone else's lesson and that can be hard. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─┴───────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/4177 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── I miss my friend who doesn't want to talk to me anymore T.T ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/1738 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mh-, embarrassing │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-889 perhaps you need a community, rather than a friend? just a guess ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/3300 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── @user-1052 @user-192 I'd rather be unhappy and useful than happy and a burden ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/6236 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── I legitimately think everyone in my life is just as cool as me they just... don't know how to know it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧───────────┘ --- #16 messages/546 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── I always disappear right when you need me the most because you're supposed to take the next step. The reason I do that is because...? You fill in the blanks. Tell me why I do that. I know, and I want you to know, but I can't say it. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #17 messages/760 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── why does everyone who want me want me to be someone else ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┴───────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/3483 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── sometimes I think about how it'll never be yesterday again and that makes me kinda sad. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/4562 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────── I like being alone. But if I'm alone for too long, I suffocate. I start acting like a weird nerd who doesn't know what to do with their hands. If I spend too much time with people, I get exhausted and I can't think straight. I start using other people's mannerisms instead of my own. I'm not an introvert, or an extrovert, I think the dichotomy is stupid and people have completely separate needs that deplete and recharge at their own rates. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────┴───────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/4083 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────── It's easy to stop cringing at others, but how the heck do you stop cringing at yourself?? it's impossible!! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #21 fediverse/4331 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── I feel like any family member that cared about another person would forgive them for how they behaved in the past. like... "I was a stressed and depressed little boy, now I'm a blossoming flower. Treat me like a flower. This is who I am." ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #22 fediverse/1099 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: @-someone-who-doesn't-listen-/shrug │ └─────────────────────────────────────────┘ you opened up about your feelings so I started telling you mine. And apparently that's not a good thing to do when you're feeling negative things. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #23 fediverse/1251 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── @user-889 it sounds like you're having a real tough time. : ( you can get through it, I know you can. On the other side is something warm and safe, but to get there it's going to be hard and painful. I don't know exactly what you're working with but if you want someone to talk to about it you can message me. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #24 fediverse/5700 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── it's okay if you hate me. Please don't have me and not tell me... ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴───────────┘ --- #25 fediverse/6282 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────── I wish I knew every time someone had been hurt by me. I'd probably cry. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧───────────┘ --- #26 messages/925 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── but also, somehow, the coolest, kindest person you know. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴───────────┘ --- #27 fediverse/5046 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: totally-unfounded-feelings-I-get-when-I-say-something-to-the-audience-of-crickets │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ "everyone hates me and I'm not okay about it" a story in 31 parts ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┴───────────┘ --- #28 fediverse/4785 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── everyone always asks "are you doing alright" and never asks "am I doing alright" ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴───────────┘ --- #29 fediverse/5686 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────── my friends tell me stories and I build my ideas for relationships based on their pain. I am always haunted by questions they don't want to answer. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════────┴───────────┘ --- #30 fediverse/3367 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── "I'm a waste of space and a worthless pile of garbage" - *the most beautiful, wonderful, and kind person you've ever met* ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #31 messages/228 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── Wish someone would tell me how much they hate me so I knew to be ashamed ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #32 messages/1439 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── I'm not sad, I'm just... Trapped in the shadow realm. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧═════──────┘ --- #33 fediverse/3846 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌──────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: trauma~ │ │ ║ └──────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ @user-1074 │ ║ │ ║ today I had someone ask me for an apology. They've asked several times before, │ ║ and each time I've only been able to give them a half-apology - I apologized │ ║ for being persistent, but not for being impulsive, and that wasn't good enough. │ ║ │ ║ I can't help being impulsive! I'm adventurous! I crave excitement and joy! │ ║ │ ║ But I'm sorry that I pushed him too hard. I'm sorry I hurt him. And... │ ║ apparently that's not good enough. He doesn't want me in his life, he can't │ ║ fucking let it go. And he calls me selfish. Says I don't respect him, based on │ ║ one night out of 5 years where I tried too hard to get him to enjoy life. │ ║ │ ║ I'm sorry I can't fix your depression, guy, but like, at least I tried. You │ ║ could have at least tried the things I suggested. You could have at least │ ║ tried to follow my advice. │ ║ │ ║ whatever. │ ║ │ ║ *it was literally just a walk in the park* │ ║ │ ║ ... anyway I am often wrong. I often correct my past self. I always apologize │ ║ for hurting people, but I never apologize for doing what I believe is right. │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ |