=== ANCHOR POEM === ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-minus │ └─────────────────────────┘ why do video games feel like harm reduction?? -.- *let your new meds take hold. you never know, you might feel fine in a week or three.* ... *also, followers only please, there's no reason your mental health posts need to bother the whole server* ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ === SIMILARITY RANKED === --- #1 fediverse/3863 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ *video games are better than ruminating* ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #2 fediverse/4969 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────── what if I played video games all day so everyone knew I was harmless maybe someday I'll give them up again for the... third time now? I think? heh maybe. I do enjoy the feeling of being unstoppable. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────┴───────────┘ --- #3 fediverse/2985 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: mental health MH- │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-1420 I find that peer support groups are usually better for venting. At least, I feel less guilty doing it. With a therapist I am always trying to focus on actionable things and usually that means downplaying my emotions, which means they pay less attention to me and assume my issues aren't that bad... "you seem to be doing fine so we can schedule you for biweekly now? every two weeks?" meanwhile I'm nursing suicidal tendencies, and said so, but apparently if I'm not crying then it's fine... >.> but with peer groups it's like, yeah they get it. and if one person's crying, everyone else feels more open to crying about their stuff. sorry for venting. I'm definitely in a MH- mood today. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #4 fediverse/1968 --- ╔════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: alcohol-mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ what is it with me and buying steam games for long-lost friends while drunk? │ ║ │ ║ I swear I'm not depressed about my upcoming new job, I'm just doing all these │ ║ drugs in such a short time period because I'm, uh... living for the the │ ║ moment? Yeah that sounds good, better post that on the internet where everyone │ ║ in the world can see it and read it and realize what a mess you are because │ ║ you've been traumatized by employment and are about to dive back into that │ ║ frigid pool after a lengthy break where you did nothing but heal and recover │ ║ which is not a boon that most people are able to afford │ ║ │ ║ lucky you, Ritz Menardi, lucky you for being so privileged. │ ║ │ ║ But hey, those long-lost friends surely will want to hear from you! Surely. │ ║ Surely you're not someone they're trying to forget. Surely you didn't hurt │ ║ them, didn't twist them into knots, didn't compel them to act in ways that │ ║ benefited you but not them, SURELY you're a good person, according to all the │ ║ things people tell you and the results of your act │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #5 messages/250 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── The hardest part about mental struggles is that the battlefield often turns out to be your relationships with your friends. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #6 fediverse/3150 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: cursing-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ *I fucking hate how games give dopamine* they're so much more educational than that. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #7 fediverse/3286 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ I hate how people think I'm mentally unhealthy. *I'm fine*. I love myself. [except all those times when you feel randomly suicidal for no reason at all. Are you being like... hit with microwaves or something???] ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #8 fediverse/2635 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── *something something parasocial relationships are not real and cannot be used for anything beyond the amelioration of emotions for cathartic purposes something something your coping mechanisms are doing more harm than good* ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #9 fediverse/2957 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: capitalism │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-883 right, like the games the rest of us play aren't good enough for you? need to toy with our lives a bit to really get into the flow? yikes ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #10 fediverse/2540 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────── video games are boring now 😭 ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/800 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ┌───────────────────────────────────┐ │ ║ │ CW: re: scary - suicide mentioned │ │ ║ └───────────────────────────────────┘ │ ║ │ ║ │ ║ where was I? oh yes - wrestling with suicidal thoughts is difficult because │ ║ it's such an immutable action. Like, once it's done it's never reversed. But │ ║ like, clearly this is hell and life was built for suffering? What the heck, │ ║ that's such a grim outlook on life. │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ yeah │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ you're not wrong │ ║ │ ║ ... │ ║ │ ║ but suffering is fun? kinda? like, the only positive way to view this is that │ ║ we, as immortal and endlessly eternal spirits that we be, grew tired of our │ ║ infinite existence and dreamed of a mortal's plight and persistence? │ ║ │ ║ fuck off with that shit, I'm done with this reality. I'm done with dreaming. │ ║ Suicide doesn't come easy to me, and there are parts of me that REFUSE the │ ║ imagery, and yet they subsist in deliterious pain. │ ║ │ ║ what's the purpose of our suffering? What point is there in decrying the │ ║ cruelty of the world that would deny our fated and desired ptolemeny? [utopian │ ║ existence, don't know why that word was used] │ ║ │ ║ ehhhhh whatever. Life is defined by our existence. If I shan't/ │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/5517 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── ... what was I thinking about again? oh yes video games are fun because they are a form of play, and all humans love to play. it is natural to their forms, just like it is natural to the form of a slinky to slink down stairs. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴───────────┘ --- #13 fediverse/3916 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── life isn't JUST a game, but it is a game. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/4876 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: US politics-related, personal │ └───────────────────────────────────────┘ @user-1370 you don't have to apologize for escalating your response to trauma it's cool we get it ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴───────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/3859 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health │ └──────────────────────┘ "it's weird how depressed I am" says the girl who is always depressed ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #16 fediverse/3865 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────┘ @user-1218 oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever, but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to medicate me. ... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!! ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #17 fediverse/812 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide mentioned-cursing mentio │ └──────────────────────────────────────┘ owwwww my brain hurts. Why can't I do this all the time? oh yeah, because... because it's uhhhh not good to drink alcohol and do cannabis. Because it's not good to feel like you're suicidal. Ooops hang on setting content warning: right so ummm what was I saying? oh yeah - here's something completely unrelated to that thing I was saying - so I've recently started emulating ROMs, like for video games, games from the 90s, and earlier parts of our present (which means 2000s because I was born in 1994) - like things that are earlier in our life story, things that were present in our childhood. Things that defined our circumstances, media and pieces of our past presents. Surely that stuff should be safeguarded. Surely it shouldn't be held for ransom. Surely we shouldn't criminalize it, and keep it hidden from our future selves. Gosh that doesn't rhyme, try and fix it? no fucking way if you changed it then it would change the message - wait, shit, hang on adding a content warning: ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/4754 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────── @user-1201 once my country elected a fascist I started thinking. I realized "oh, it's always been that way, this one just doesn't hide it" and so I started thinking about the bread and circuses they so generously provided me. I miss video games. Sometimes I play for an hour or two but only when I am feeling burnt out. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────┴───────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/4336 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── gonna play more video games, currently have 11 tabs of written posts open in my browser... (okay a few of them get a little off-topic, but hey I have ADHD what do you expect of me) ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #20 messages/961 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────── Look, if I'm going to do this thing, i need so, so much help. With everything. I can't do anything for myself. I can barely do things for others. Yet somehow i am at the center of things. [delusion? Paranoia? Ha those are level 3 symptoms. I'm way past that.] Girl you're not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy. "sorry, but, you're schizophrenic" was always intended as sarcasm ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───┴───────────┘ --- #21 bluesky#4 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────── what if I played a video game ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────┴───────────┘ --- #22 fediverse/1650 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: what, mh shitpost │ └───────────────────────────┘ @user-1052 am depressed... though I care less for society's opinions and more for my adherence to my ethical morals. same effect different reason when it's time to shame myself. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #23 fediverse/5441 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────── I just really like video games I guess?? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────┴───────────┘ --- #24 fediverse/956 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: spirituality │ └──────────────────────┘ @user-579 it's not self loathing if you consent to it... right? ... right? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #25 notes/hated-or-beloved --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════── they either want to hang me or forget about me, nothing inbetween I get it... I feel so twisted inside "be patient" I tell myself "good things will come" "fucking do something" they tell me "I told you so" three things that are holding me back, my three sins: 1. video games 2. masturbation 3. cannabis three things that get me out of bed: 1. video games 2. masturbation 3. cannabis meh. masturbation's lost it's fun. video games will always be there. weed is... ... essential ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧══════════─┘ --- #26 fediverse/4439 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ *I would never kill myself* just want to put it out there. I'd rather face torture and shame and confinement than die by my own hand. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #27 fediverse/3462 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: mental-health-minus │ └─────────────────────────┘ "*why didn't you say anything? why didn't you ask for help?*" because then you might have done something about it, and don't you know I deserve to decay? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #28 fediverse/4252 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────── sometimes I think I'd be better without social media. And then I remember that it's the only way I know to talk. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────┴───────────┘ --- #29 messages/1348 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────── when people don't even look into the games I suggest for them, it kinda hurts my feelings. Like, I know so much about this, why wouldn't you check it out? too many times of "what games do you play? oh, gta? I know this great game that's just like it called cod" and idk it's like if you gave someone a pretty rock and they dropped it instead of putting it outside their apartment or in their garden or whatever. like okay, I guess I really don't mean anything to you, guess I'll just go be in heart-pain. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧═══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╧════───────┘ --- #30 fediverse/3096 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── my default assumption is that nobody wants to hear what I say. so every time I click post, it's an act of bravery against my internals ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #31 fediverse/373 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: truth about weed │ └──────────────────────────┘ @user-278 I can't do weed in public places. I need to be alone so that I can properly use the altered mental state to be weird on the internet. ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #32 fediverse/814 --- ╔══════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────────┐ ║ ah that's weird, I don't usually cry. I wonder what's going on. I should │ ║ probably put myself on psychiatric drugs. Surely it's an expression of the │ ║ implementation of my impending doom. │ ║ │ ║ ... what are you even saying bro │ ║ │ ║ ... um, hang on feels like some of the circuitry is off. is something wrong in │ ║ my brain? yeah that's surely it, surely nothing I say would resoinate with │ ║ anyone that has a non-malfunctioning brain. Surely I don't speak of logical │ ║ failures in the hard founded truths of our asset [society I think? like, our │ ║ conditions, our institutions, our {gosh that just... does not translate}] um │ ║ right what was I saying │ ║ │ ║ oh yeah there's this game I'm really into called Knave, it's like D&D │ ║ except the rules are very fewer. Like there's onyl 11 pages in the rulebook │ ║ and it's mostly taken up by random roll tables. Like, everything boings down │ ║ to a few simple rules, like rock paper scissors, or go-fish, or something like │ ║ that with just afew mechanids. something timeless and pure, something that is │ ║ isolated and en │ ╠═════════╗ ┌───────────┤ ║ similar ║ chronological │ different │ ╚═════════╩═══════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #33 fediverse/3316 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: medical-marijuana-mentioned-personal-health-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ Considering the fact that medical care is so expensive, surely that means the expertise, labor, materials, and infrastructural capability to address people's health and well-being is in tight supply. meaning, for things I can understand and live with, I should avoid seeking help because those resources could be applied toward some cause that can't be lived with, or is not understood. If it doesn't cause distress, don't touch it. "babe you literally piss yourself on accident if you forget to go to the bathroom, what's your plan" oh um how kind of you to ask, uh, it's mostly just to close my ears and hope it goes away. like the weird thunder last night haha I'm pretty sure it wasn't raining but I might have just been stoned? ┌─────────┐ ┌───────────┐ │ similar │ chronological │ different │ ╘═════════╧════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ |