=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 schizophrenic people aren't allowed to go to concerts or bars unless their
 friends pay them to be there.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/3120 ---
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 │ CW: mental-health    │
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 schizophrenia is like living in a headcanon of everyone else's reality
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--- #2 fediverse/2658 ---
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 "did you know that mentally ill people are oppressed minorities too?"
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--- #3 fediverse/3969 ---
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 there are very few professions that are naturally more suited to a               │
 schizophrenic than a normal person.                                              │
 One of them is beggar, another is prophet, and a third is "massive               │
 disappointment" but that comes with the territory.                               │
 *have you considered that maybe you're just a loser*                             │
 yes I have and I decided that all I can do is my best, and if my best loses      │
 then what else could I have done? Wait for help? Yeah. I do that too.            │
 It feels like an encirclement, and all you can do is hunker down and wait to     │
 be relieved. Or fight to the last, it's up to you. I hear they brutalize the     │
 skulls of their prisoners after executing them, so, I don't know about you but   │
 I'm not surrendering. Not gonna roll those dice.                                 │
 *you are in fantasy, again*                                                      │
 sorry. Should stay here, present, in the moment. Like when I sat out on the      │
 park bench for like 30 minutes straight without moving a muscle last night. Or   │
 when I sat and contemplated the nature of a bog for two hours last september.    │
 Or when I woke from a dream that turned out to be life.                          │
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--- #4 messages/399 ---
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 The schizophrenic sees the truth in dazzling displays of color that are nigh
 incomprehensible, while regular people see truth in shades of gray that you
 can understand and work with.
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--- #5 messages/961 ---
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 Look, if I'm going to do this thing, i need so, so much help. With everything.
 I can't do anything for myself. I can barely do things for others. Yet somehow
 i am at the center of things.
 
 [delusion? Paranoia? Ha those are level 3 symptoms. I'm way past that.]
 
 Girl you're not crazy. Stop saying you're crazy.
 
 "sorry, but, you're schizophrenic" was always intended as sarcasm
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--- #6 messages/78 ---
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 My biggest fear as an autistic transgender incontinent schizophrenic person is
 that one day I'll become a game of hot potato for my relatives to pass around
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--- #7 fediverse/3121 ---

🖼 fediverse: image post fediverse: image post
--- #8 fediverse/3894 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── "Here's the thing. If you go around telling people you're crazy, they'll assume you're JUST crazy." ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #9 messages/296 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── The trick is, if you *think* you're schizophrenic, then you will be. If you *think* you're telepathic, then you will be. There are no grand narratives. Just live your life as you will and be content with what you build for yourself. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #10 messages/169 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── Sorry for my behavior. I am an undiagnosed scizophrenic, so I'm wrestling with metaphorical demons. Sorry for attempting to interact with society, I get a little lonely sometimes. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #11 fediverse/3432 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── "you're telling me that I've been special needs this whole damn time and nobody told me?" *to be fair to* nobody *you're pretty good at hiding it* ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #12 fediverse/2595 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────┐ ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ │ CW: re: politics-fascism-sexual-assault-mentioned │ │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │ They will say they're "off their psych meds" yeah, okay, but a diagnosis and │ prescription is trivial for a doctor to write. │ They are paid about 35$ per hour. │ They have 2 week shifts "vacations" where they are transferred to a city with │ a person they could reasonably impersonate where they act for a while. │ (I know this because one of them replaced a homeless man I knew who had like, │ 3 teeth total, and then a few days later a man who looked similar acted as if │ he knew me. He had perfect teeth.) │ They have a PO box where they can receive useful items for their disruptive │ activities. Hammers, spray-paint, whatever. │ They don't carry any money. No wallet, identification, or anything, so if they │ get picked up by emergency response services then there's not much they can do │ besides try and stabilize them before letting them loose. │ Some of them have "long-term shifts" where they work with children or the │ elderly over months or years. It's just as fucked as you imagine. │ ┌───────────┤ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #13 messages/250 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────────── The hardest part about mental struggles is that the battlefield often turns out to be your relationships with your friends. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #14 fediverse/3865 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌─────────────────────────┐ │ CW: re: drugs-mentioned │ └─────────────────────────┘ @user-1218 oh, also, because I started taking some psychiatric medication to help with the aforementioned delusional thinking or whatever. Honestly I think I just believe in spiritual things like witchcraft and the human spirit or whatever, but since I'm having difficulties doing basic things my doctors decided to medicate me. ... but then I stopped taking those psychiatric drugs because they made me feel numb and dense. It was hard to think. Thinking's all I do!! ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #15 fediverse/3871 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: music │ └──────────────────────┘ http://schizoid.in/ ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #16 messages/1462 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────── "I'm not autistic, I'm just a different kind of person than you." ──────┐ similar chronological different═════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════──────┘ --- #17 messages/400 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────────── The schizophrenic sees truth in dazzling displays of colors unknown to man, while the neurotypical sees truth in shades of gray that can be reasoned with. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #18 fediverse/3881 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────┐ ┌──────────────────────┐ │ │ CW: mh~ │ │ └──────────────────────┘ │ wait wait wait, hold up. │ you're telling me your purpose in life is to be cool, chill, funny, cute, and │ or friendly to the people around you, and to just relax and enjoy life? │ wow that must be real fucking nice. I'm so damn jealous. Damn. Damnit. Fuck │ why am I so orthogonal. What's wrong with me? │ ... ah, well, nothing's wrong with me. Turns out what I do is for you, if only │ in spirit. Who are we? nothing! I barely know ya! But I'd do it for you, │ whatever it may be. │ ... Look, I don't need my legs, but also, I kinda like them? │ ... where was I? Oh yes this is why you don't invite a schizophrenic to a │ party. If you convince them that you're friends, they'll start developing │ parasocial relationships and you'll come to realize that their worlds are too │ vast for their own kind of potential. │ which is to say, you can hear me, you can like me, you can do as I say or do, │ but don't *trust* me, don't place your *trust* in me, because I am just a │ person. Don't trust people, trust organizations, to do as you expect. │ ┌───────────┤ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #19 fediverse/3584 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: drugs-mentioned │ └──────────────────────┘ "If I look like a fool, it'll keep eyes on me instead of looking at my friends who are stoned and paranoid" *maybe the friends are paranoid because you're acting like a dork and drawing attention to the group* ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #20 fediverse/441 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────────────────── @user-328 don't trust anything on the internet. It can be taken from you. don't trust anyone in your life - if you are alone, which you can verify through the sense of connection you feel to others - if you are alone, how can you trust anyone that they've provided for you to interact with? when's the last time you drove to a random city in your country and tried to make friends with passerby? Would you even be convinced that they'd be aligned to their own designs, and not to that which "they" assigned? do note that I'm schizophrenic, probably, according to nobody but me, so... take what I say as you will ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #21 fediverse/3475 --- ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── you know that feeling when you realize the person you're talking to is a demon? sometimes I think they don't even realize it. other times, they do. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #22 fediverse/4662 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────── if someone tells you they've been the target of a psyop, don't let them out of your sight until they're fully healed. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────────┴───────────┘ --- #23 fediverse/799 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────────────── ┌──────────────────────┐ │ CW: scary │ └──────────────────────┘ the government makes murder okay by framing the perpetrators also prisons are concentration camps and the people who are close to you are ~~oppressing~~ hunting you racism etc is a sham to distract you capital will never be relinquished the internet was AI from the beginning something beyond humanity demands our suffering there cannot be proof of your fears - if it was proven, it would be circumstances instead of fears there's nothing [sorry gotta cut this off, my refrigerator is talking to me again and I want to listen] - [huh that's weird I have no memory of the past hour, best continue where I left off an hour ago -> go to {A}]a schizophrenic who's never been diagnosed {A} - yeah clearly all that I've been saying recently is just a fluke. Like, just noise in the endless array of expression projected onto our communal web-space. Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm not just cogent when I'm drunk. Or more imaginative when I'm stoned. Clearly dreams are fake and pursuing them is 1/? ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #24 fediverse/1431 --- ═════════════════════════════════════════════────────────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: spirituality-generic-kooky-dookerie-psychosis-schizophrenia-mentioned │ └───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ if you haven't spend hours wondering if you're god, the antichrist, a cognitohazard, the future president of the world, a target of aliens / the CIA, or any other number of common delusions... then congratulations you're probably not crazy but odds are you aren't magic, either. ... ehhhh "wonder" is a strong word, more like "know, trust, and believe" much better to be a witch I believe, someone with the "teehee" kind of magic than someone compelled to destroy humanity through the reactions of others to the actions of the self that are impossible to resist or fully control. BRB I'm going to leave my apartment to get groceries, leaving my door unlocked because that's what I always do, surely it'll be empty when I return. Surely. ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═══════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #25 fediverse/3286 --- ═══════════════════════════════════════════════════──────────────────────────────── ┌───────────────────────┐ │ CW: suicide-mentioned │ └───────────────────────┘ I hate how people think I'm mentally unhealthy. *I'm fine*. I love myself. [except all those times when you feel randomly suicidal for no reason at all. Are you being like... hit with microwaves or something???] ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent═════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────┴───────────┘ --- #26 fediverse/6131 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────── I have seldom felt as if my potential were not squandered never do I feel such things outside of the height of mania aka, the most blessed way to be ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════┴───────────┘ --- #27 fediverse/5046 --- ══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════───────────────────── ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │ CW: totally-unfounded-feelings-I-get-when-I-say-something-to-the-audience-of-crickets │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ "everyone hates me and I'm not okay about it" a story in 31 parts ┌───────────┐ similar chronologicaldifferent════════════════════════════════════════════════════════════────────┴───────────┘ --- #28 fediverse/3564 --- image.png ════════════════════════════════════════════════════─────────────────────────────── this kind of thing always happens when I'm manic lmao
error  we are unable to permit banking access at this time. please try again later or call this number for assistance.
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--- #29 fediverse/710 ---
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 @user-532 
 
 autistic people when nobody told them to shut up about things they thought
 people should be talking about but aren't which is weird right like why
 wouldn't people be talking about [thing] because frankly it seems like a big
 deal but really it's that everyone knows more than the autistic person who
 doesn't have any friends who have friends and is insular and isolated and also
 very smart in fact smart enough to think up ideas for things to talk about
 that people aren't talking about which is weird because they're not THAT smart
 but also a lifetime of isolation has made them a little schizophrenic so they
 sometimes feel like their actions are not their own like they're being
 hypnotized or perhaps possessed by the spirit of mankind or some other such
 entity which would like to express ideas that they think people should talk
 about but they aren't talking about which is weird because why else would a
 porous person have ideas such as [thing] if not for the path that they're
 telepathically suffused with the
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--- #30 fediverse/3058 ---
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 @user-1441 @user-670 @user-113 
 
 currently toe-ing the boundary between "too neurodivergent to function" and
 "can juuuuust barely take care of themselves" and they ask me to get a job...
 no thanks, guess I'll die
 
 (in 3-4 months when my savings run out)
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--- #31 messages/299 ---
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 That feeling when you tell someone you're
 [trans/autistic/schizophrenic/whatever] and you see the respect draining from
 their eyes
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--- #32 fediverse/3773 ---
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 │ CW: re: personal-medical-health-mentioned-cannabis-mentioned │
 └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘


 no adhd meds, but yes different antipsychotic
 
 he made a very convincing argument that consisted primarily of "why don't we
 try a different type of the same thing" yeah that makes sense
 
 also he seemed quite happy that I quit cannabis for a while. I guess he's
 working for THEM lol
 
 (who's them?)
 
 of course, the ones who want to keep me from my DIVINE DESTINY or whatever.
 Airquotes. ugh I need to get over myself, it's just fucking weed, right?
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--- #33 fediverse/1010 ---
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 I'm done trying to be neurotypical. So what if I starve.
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