=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 to improve your "cat-petting" abilities, try to imagine that the wall in front
 of you is the most interesting thing in the world - stare at *anything else*
 besides the cat, and look at them in your periphary. Occasionally you can look
 back, but the idea is that this way they will be able to look at your face
 without painful eye contact.
 
 cats are autistic - they don't look at you unless you're looking somewhere
 else.
 
 most people stare at cats when they are engaging with them, and totally ignore
 them otherwise.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/2954 ---
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 whenever my cat is whining I walk around doing things that she might want
 until she stops trying to claw me - oh you want your litter cleaned? yeah sure
 I gotchu. oh you wanna go outside? nah okay how about playing with this yarn?
 no? okay let's see... oh dear you can see the bottom of your food bowl,
 conveniently forgetting the other mostly full food bowl over there... 😅
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--- #2 fediverse/4024 ---
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 my cat doesn't know that my family is my family. She thinks they're just some
 other people who visit the house.
 
 but they're special to me, as all people are, and I think she takes notice.
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--- #3 fediverse/4849 ---
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 sometimes I'll hear my cat meow the way she does when she wants something but
 then I turn around and she's halfway through giving herself a bath /shrug
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--- #4 fediverse/2109 ---
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 My cat saw me biting my toenails ONE TIME and now she's never too sharp.
 
 Well, she bites pretty good. But it's much easier to play with your hands if
 her blades are soft(er)
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--- #5 fediverse/1828 ---
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 people usually pet animals either too hard, or too soft. When you get to know
 them, animals tend to respond to affection most accurately when it corresponds
 to something they know how to measure, within the most acceptable tolerances.
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--- #6 fediverse/4264 ---
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 one of my favorite states of mind is being half asleep and hanging out with my
 cat.
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--- #7 fediverse/5503 ---
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 I bet if you put me and my cat next to a glass wall with a cougar inside after
 a while that big cat would be domesticated
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--- #8 bluesky#38 ---
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 thank you for the dog posts they keep me friendly
 
 thank you for the cat posts they keep me sane
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--- #9 fediverse/4744 ---
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 │ CW: cat-mentioned    │
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 me to my cat: "don't eat so much that you puke, okay?"
 
 me to me: "yeah I can take on another task, I'm almost done with this one and
 then I'll just do that one and maybe this one'll get back to me at the same
 time as this one which conflicts with this other thing so maybe I'll just
 puke, okay?"
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--- #10 fediverse/4509 ---
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 okay I know all of my spiritual followers are going to assume it's because I     │
 denounced AI and sacrificed it from my life or something but the truth is that   │
 she came home because of my own dedicated hard work. And a bit of lucky rain.    │
 My scent is all over my neighborhood. But rain cleanses, and today (well,        │
 yesterday, I haven't slept much tbh) it rained all day. Around 3am this          │
 morning it seemed to have cleared up a bit, so I walked in a straight-ish line   │
 to her last known location (about 2 blocks away) and then one block more. I      │
 walked back-and-forth several times, trying to spread my scent down near her     │
 nose-level where she could smell it by touching lampposts trees and such. I      │
 rubbed my fingers in my arm-pits every once in a while because I figured it      │
 might help.                                                                      │
 All of my prayers and my thoughts and my psychic rituals did NOTHING to solve    │
 my problem. No amount of despair or longing brought my kitty back to me.         │
 You know what did?                                                               │
 I thought about it, I created a method, and I stuck to it. Thats it. ttyl        │
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--- #11 fediverse/2619 ---
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 *cats and dogs are people too*
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--- #12 fediverse/265 ---
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 │ CW: cursing          │
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 dogs when you're sad: what's wrong bestie?
 
 cats when you're sad: fuck you
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--- #13 fediverse/4797 ---
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 what if we built cat water stations into the walls and put 5 or 6 around the
 house to encourage them to drink water more often?
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--- #14 fediverse/3580 ---
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 *friendship ended with best friend*
 
 *now my cat is my best friend*
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--- #15 fediverse/2151 ---
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 @user-1177 @mutualaid 
 
 whatever happens, know that you are loved. Animals are the most precious thing
 in our lives, and we have many opportunities to raise more. Cherish those
 heartfelt moments, and yearn for the affectionate tender touches. And know
 that you are always their most known.
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--- #16 fediverse/176 ---
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 @user-159 not generally. but you're not a people, you're a cat, right?
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--- #17 fediverse/601 ---
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 my cat doesn't know I had to cancel her vet appointment because we have 70$ to
 eat and they wanted a thousand
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--- #18 fediverse/1360 ---
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 @user-950 @user-956 @user-957 
 
 I'm so sorry T.T
 
 @user-958 
 
 I walk in as straight a line as suburbia will allow and touch things about a
 foot or less off the ground - right at a cat's line of scent-vision. When a
 cat is searching for an old home, it spirals out searching for familiarity -
 if it should come across me, it'd be most likely to see what smells like me if
 I travel in a straight line. Thus maximizing the chance that she'd return to
 me, my home where I cherish her so. I'd love her with all my heart if she'd
 let me, but frankly most of the time I'm just alone.
 
 I miss you sweetie! Please don't ever leave me. I'll miss you when you're not
 here in my home! Such a good kitty, yes you are.
 
 ... at least, that's what I'd say, if I wasn't dead T.T ah oh well weapons are
 overrated
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--- #19 fediverse/3978 ---
 image.png
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 cat memes be like
 
 (read the alt text)
picture of a porch in the warm sunlight. There are bars on the edge and leaves on a tree in the background, leading you to believe this porch is on the third floor or greater. Solely based on your general understanding of the size of a tree, and how large they typically grow. the picture is taken as if from a cat's point of view, and the caption would read: "this is my part of the house. I have some tips that I learned from living here. Check it out." the same picture, but with added annotations by the cat.  "don't jump here" is near the top in red, above the railing and close to the trees.  "don't climb here" is placed both above the growing houseplant in the corner, and next to the railings which are easy to fall off of and a 3 story drop would really hurt your bones  "don't sleep here" right next to the edge, where you're liable to roll right off (good thing she's kinda fat and can't fit through the bars!! she's ready for winter.)
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--- #20 fediverse/2828 ---
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 │ CW: scary            │
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 the animals are afraid.
 
 they can hear it just the same as you do, and they don't understand it
 
 but you do
 
 I bet
 
 if enough birds
 
 saw us working hard to fix things, outside, physically, with our bodies, in a
 way that a bird might understand, then perhaps things will get solved.
 
 --
 
 I don't hear noises when things talk. I hear "eat me" when the rice-cooker is
 done, I hear "WOW" when a car horns and "wash-ing-wash-ing" from my dishwasher.
 
 my cats peaks for "FOOD" because I offer "food for her" but if I thought of it
 as "feeding her" she'd probably hear "FEED"
 
 then other times I hear "moooom. I'm scared. why!?" and I sing her a song
 about how it's going to be alright.
 
 the poor thing is lonelier than me. at least I have you, computer-tube.
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--- #21 fediverse/6132 ---
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 it should be normal to play with other people's animals and the fact that it
 isn't is because some people don't know how to handle the family horse [er,
 hang out with a dog without being super bored] [play fetch with a cat] etc.
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--- #22 fediverse/4490 ---
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 where oh where is my dear sweet kitty
 
 she is lovely and wonderful and precious to me
 
 oh how I miss her, the squeaks, the litter flakes on my desk, the headbutts,
 the biscuits, the way she felt on my back as she climbed off the fridge...
 
 I do hope she comes back. : (
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--- #23 fediverse/2110 ---
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 Time spent with an animal is never wasted, which is why it's important to have
 plenty of friends.
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--- #24 fediverse/382 ---
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 │ CW: gross-pets       │
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 the one thing I've never ever procrastinated is the sound of my cat preparing
 to yak
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--- #25 fediverse/2285 ---
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 if you're ever hanging out with my cat and she puts her paw on your face, that
 means she wants you to kiss her forehead. 😋
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--- #26 fediverse/4532 ---
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 @user-192 
 
 so... orange tabby cat? 😋
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--- #27 fediverse/2554 ---
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 cats are sooooooo cute. I want to adopt like, 15 more~! They can all stay in
 their own houses, though. no need to put them all in one place.
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--- #28 fediverse/1575 ---
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 "I see your value now."
 
 -> the best thing you can believe about a~~n autistic~~ person
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--- #29 fediverse/2676 ---
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 if you asked me to start talking, I could continue for hours explaining          │
 technical details of computer systems or the different types of win-conditions   │
 in different strategy games or how to make good pasta with only 3 ingredients    │
 or what it's like to be a cat, how must they see things or overcome barriers     │
 between them and solutions?                                                      │
 ..... anyway it's important to be able to talk for a long period of time at      │
 the drop of a hat because if your conversation partner needs you to              │
 immediately initiate a conversation, you can do so.                              │
 there are a myriad of reasons why someone would want an immediate                │
 conversation, including "acting casual" or because they want to be distracted    │
 from nearby suffering or whatever.                                               │
 in addition, being able to follow long conversations with little bits of         │
 useful and actionable information thrown in to an otherwise indecipherable       │
 melange of verbal goo.                                                           │
 what's important is to trust your conversation partner, and to know that         │
 they're giving you what they can because they trust nothing around.              │
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--- #30 fediverse/4489 ---
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 I miss my cat, but now that it's dark I can go looking for her again. : )
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--- #31 fediverse/4642 ---
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 i type too much, gtg to sleep.
 
 my cat yells at me whenever the click-clack starts to bother her ears.
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--- #32 fediverse/75 ---
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 @user-81 psycherwauling is my mood. I relate to your catte.
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--- #33 fediverse/2474 ---
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 might spend 200$ on a flea collar for my cat tho because she needs it.
 
 turns out it was only 60$, which is a nice surprise.
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