=== ANCHOR POEM ===
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 │ CW: food             │
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 one of the low level skills that tends to come naturally to witches is the
 ability to make nutritious gruel taste amazing and have an interesting texture.
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=== SIMILARITY RANKED ===

--- #1 fediverse/3465 ---
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 │ CW: food-mentioned   │
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 I'm not really a "cookies and tea with honeysuckle and purslaine" kind of witch
 
 I'm more like a... "here eat this gruel and drink lots of water, it'll give
 you energy for the long road to come" kind of witch
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--- #2 fediverse/2133 ---
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 witches shouldn't be around kids alone for too long because they can teach
 them strange things like "eat this apple" or "touch this sharp sewing needle
 thimble thing" or "eeeheeeheee I'm a witch, I'm casting a spell on you, you're
 not going to wake up until your true love kisses you!" then, when she's 18 or
 whatever, when she was fated to meet her true love, he shows up. Because he's
 destined FOR THAT TIME IN HER LIFESPAN, hence why he is
 [magical-shared-reality-applicationed] to her. Or Heckedy Peg, that one was
 always sooooo scary.
 
 ... anyway, bad witches will say rude things or painful things. Really, the kid
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--- #3 fediverse/762 ---
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 I'm a good witch, which means I write poems and bake cookies. Okay usually I
 make something more nutritious, like "melange". Also I'm good at listening to
 people's problems and I always have a cup of tea ready for you when you walk
 in the door.
 
 bad witches are kinda evil. They're the type who curse animals with human
 forms and enslave the fae by forcing them to work desk jobs and such. They
 also propagate spores for poisonous mushrooms in the forest, the kind that
 LOOK like they're edible but actually aren't.
 
 but, as all things are defined in waves, so too are the patterns of witches -
 for every bad witch, there's a good one just around the corner.
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--- #4 fediverse/4971 ---
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 │ CW: religion-mentioned │
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 witch cauldrons make sense as popcorn pots but nobody likes to think of them
 as friendly to children because they worship their gods in the dark. dark
 gods. the kind that you pray to when church betrays you.
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--- #5 fediverse/4262 ---
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 good witches make enchantments.
 
 bad witches steal them.
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--- #6 fediverse/4257 ---
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 witches should *never* eat food touched by another on halloween. it's far too
 easy to slip in some [redacted] so that people think you are following the old
 ways of kidnapping [redacted] and [redacted]
 
 essentially, as a personal safety thing, like "hey it's far too easy to plant
 evidence in this day and age, how can any crimes even be confirmed" which is a
 consequence of reduced faith in the legality.
 
 thankfully, I have not seen that in America, and for that I am grateful! I am
 thankful to our lawyers and experts who keep and maintain the system running.
 They are engineers of their craft, applying themselves dextrously to solve any
 once-set-forth-task.
 
 ... um, I mean they're good at working with social machinery to produce
 real-world outcomes. ideally according to your values.
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--- #7 fediverse/4324 ---
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 witches are people who see the inherent spirit in all things
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--- #8 fediverse/221 ---
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 │ CW: re: existential; cognitohazard? cognitohelper? │
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 @user-95 these kinds of problems are why witches should stay away from demon
 summoning - it's far too easy to be super turned on and accidentally sell your
 soul to a succubus or whatever. luckily that kind of contract is not made
 easily, and has to be something you work toward. but unless you relocate
 yourself so they can't find you their whispers can be... incessant.
 
 one of the perks of air and naval travel is that it's essentially impossible
 for them to follow your scent, as they're simply projections upon the earth's
 surface. Unless they happen to follow someone else, perhaps someone close to
 you, who wanders a bit too close to land. Or maybe someone who is easily
 persuaded to let them come along... OR even still, if someone (even yourself)
 intentionally calls to the same one. This is why it's usually a good idea to
 forgo hearing their name, if you can, or to have a bad memory like me so you
 forget it immediately teehee
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--- #9 fediverse/1031 ---
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 kinda funny how the people in my life won't let me, a witch, cast spells on
 them. Like they doubt my intentions? ? ? and when they do they're just,
 mentally eye-rolling all the time. How's a girl to get any practice if nobody
 wants to be hypnotized >.>
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--- #10 fediverse/177 ---
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 @user-95 oh yeah I forgot about my hat. they'll probably remember me for that.
 they say witches and their hats are all ugly and green and covered in warts
 but I don't think that's true because I have a relatively normal human skin
 color and zero warts. beauty is in the eye of the beholder though so if you
 want answers on that part you'll have to slay it first.
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--- #11 fediverse/3144 ---
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 witches wear pony tails on the low sides of their heads because that way their
 hat doesn't rub up against their hair
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--- #12 fediverse/3724 ---
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 │ CW: sexual-assault-mentioned │
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 witches would "ride brooms" everywhere because they're quarterstaves, and when
 you have like 3 brooms being pushed in your face because your backup is there
 to help keep the men away, it's a lot more intimidating for would-be-rapists.
 
 Witches ride bikes everywhere (now that they've been invented) because they're
 easy, they're free, they're quiet, and they're cheap. They let you get away
 from any encounter, which is the BEST way to get out alive and still retain
 your experience point bonus.
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--- #13 fediverse/4168 ---
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 "have a good day" is so imperative. Like, what you expect me to do all the
 work? Just because I'm a witch doesn't mean I can just *magic* you into having
 a good day!
 
 "have a good day" is better, but still it doesn't work if you don't expect it
 to work. Spells aren't magic, after all, they're solely based on the
 ~~victim~~ uh I mean *target*'s intuitions.
 
 "have a good day" is probably best for me, so I try to say that when I see
 people. This way you don't get any [redacted]'s occurring, and you won't have
 any trouble aligning the [redacted]. On the flip side, [redacted], so perhaps
 it's better to just grin and bear it.
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--- #14 fediverse/90 ---
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 @user-95 did you get the instructions? Mine came in a dream, which sucks
 because I only remember two or three of the rules. I think there were nine
 total, and now I'm afraid to practice my non-programming spelling because I
 don't want to violate causality or redefine temporality or something like
 that. I guess now is as good an hour as any... Dear other witches, hear my
 prayer, I'm kinda lonely and I only know a few spells, but I think that's good
 enough for now.
 
 Do you know any spells, prospective witch?
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--- #15 fediverse_boost/415 ---
◀═[BOOST] ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐  I Am The Weed Witch Making Cannabutter In My Cauldron                     └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘                                                         similar                      chronological                       different─▶

--- #16 fediverse/5588 ---
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 did you know that if you actually *tried* to do magic you might just become
 good at meditating?
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--- #17 messages/1004 ---
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 The reason they burned witches is because they were trying to use *dark
 magics* in a world that gave them no other choice.
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--- #18 fediverse/1645 ---
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 the difference between a witch and an oracle is that a witch's prophecies come
 true independent of them telling someone or not. which is why they will
 usually approach children instead of adults.
 
 an oracle, however, shares her knowledge for the good of humanity, her people,
 her kin.
 
 they both can exist in tandem, which is why it's important to listen to them
 when they sin.
 
 [currently using the devil's lettuce rn js]
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--- #19 fediverse/2012 ---
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 I am not dependable.
 
 Do not rely on me.
 
 I'll never betray you, but I will eventually let you down.
 
 Such is the nature of a luck witch...
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--- #20 fediverse/3218 ---
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 │ CW: something-weird-I-wrote-last-week │
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 "*guys I'm cool why would you not invite me to your team*"
 
 I dunno. Don't know y'a. who're you again?
 
 ... I'm the one who writes poetry.
 
 oh yeah! cool cool, yeah I knew a witch one time, she was really cool. Her
 name
 was Witz Drovalski. She told me all kinds of cool things about magic and 
 alchemy, but then she exploded in a fire that I started. Accidentally, 
 allegedly.
 
 *the reason lead is so poisonous is because it is the anti-magico-elemental 
 component. It kills the spirit in us with it's malevolent ways.* that kind of 
 witch.
 
 the *cool* kind, with fangs and hooked toes.
 
 Peril be to their foes, for they are quite excellent at conjuring horrors for 
 their imagination. mwahahahahahahahahaha
 
 oh wait that's self directed, isn't it?
 
 hm. Well, terrors not that bad, it could be *lust*
 
 ... oh it's also lust. great.
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--- #21 fediverse/1012 ---
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 "the flows of magic are whimsical today"
 
 nah babe you're just a dryad from the popular video game Warcraft Three who
 couldn't have known that computers exist
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--- #22 fediverse/1301 ---
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 @user-932 
 
 eeeeep if my pickle had a face I would slice it into bits and throw it to the
 ducks. They probably wouldn't like the smell but it's the thought that counts.
 
 And yes I would hear the screams of the pickle and I would cackle because
 that's JUST WHAT AN OLD-STYLE WITCH DOES EEEEHEHEHEHEHE
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--- #23 fediverse/1209 ---
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 if your witch hat has a brim that looks like a circle then you're wearing it
 backwards.
 
 witch hats should fold flat. The angled part should be in front so you only
 have to see a thin slice of reality, that way people are only able to see your
 eyes if you look directly at them.
 
 it adds to the mystique.
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--- #24 messages/131 ---
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 Hello, I am a witch.
 
 There's more than one kind of witch, but I promise that I'm the kind you'd
 like to have around.
 
 There's another kind, however, that is unlike me in kind but I think you'll
 find is just as rare, and just as tempestuous.
 
 I like to think I am good aligned, perhaps not "good" as in "capable" but
 "good" as in "benevolent" and "perhaps" as in "unknowable" and "but" as in
 "desired" and "desired" as in "what I work toward because it's the right thing
 to do" and "work toward" as in "realized according to the effects of my
 actions not just by my intentions"
 
 The other kind of witch is the kind that hurts people.
 
 There are many reasons why you might find yourself in the house of such a
 witch, but all of them are caused by your desire. Take care in the house of a
 witch such as this, and stay no longer than your time allows.
 
 If you find what you're looking for, get out.
 
 If you're almost out of time, get out.
 
 If you lost something, find it, and then get out.
 
 If you run out of time, and things start to "smear", yell out loud your social
 security number. If someone's trying to save you, it'll help them know where
 to put you when you are returned to your body.
 
 I'm sorry to say, but if things start to smear then life will get a little bit
 strange. Just a little. Much better to get out beforehand.
 
 If you find yourself tempted while inside a witch's house, abandon what you
 lost because regaining it comes with a cost.
 
 If you lose sight of your friend, then when you see them again you cannot
 trust that they are who they claim to be, not inside of the witch's house.
 
 If you lose sight of your friend, trust that they will get out by their own
 hand, and find what you want and go home.
 
 Unless, of course, your heart is pure, and your friend is what you want back
 in your life again. Then you will trend toward finding them yet again, so find
 what you want and get out.
 
 They will try to keep you there, through inaction and professed exhilaration,
 but generally they'll do what you command. So take them and get out.
 
 There are many reasons why you might find yourself on the path to a witch's
 house, but none of them are to be repeated. It's more of a life event and less
 of a venture, so take what you want and go forth.
 
 If you find yourself in my house, take a cookie or a brownie, and please do
 come again. The house of a witch such as mine is somewhere you'll probably
 find that love and affection are fonder.
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--- #25 fediverse/5254 ---
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 │ CW: witch-posting    │
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 I feel more of a hunger for cackling than I do thirst for food
 
 like a MADWOMAN or a witch who has certain magical powers, unbeknownst to any
 but the spirit who follows her my dears.
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--- #26 messages/973 ---
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 you know what I want? in this moment? at all times?
 
 to bring magic back into the world
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--- #27 fediverse/3757 ---
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 I am the witch who cursed my past self with my current life.
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--- #28 fediverse/3073 ---
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 "A witch is neither late, nor is she early. She intentionally arrives when you
 don't need her, so that you can learn what to do when you *do* need her
 instead of needing her."
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--- #29 fediverse/5951 ---
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 "uh-oh, she's"
 
 magic is easy. all you have to do is earnestly attempt to have a conversation
 with whoever will listen. I like to sit on my bed and listen, by earnestly
 allowing my thoughts to be guided by the wind.
 
 open up your mind, release yourself from your senses, and who knows - maybe
 someone will adjust your thinking flows. (thought patterns)
 
 [all you gotta do is make the black market the regular market and suddenly
 everything just flows]
 
 huh weird idk where that came from, anyway
 
 magic is easy, just represent yourself earnestly as you would if you were
 presenting in court
 
 you don't need witnesses... just argue your point without any lies and people
 will generally believe you.
 
 "yeah... sure thing buddy, we know how you pronounce "
 
 omg I'm scary because I don't shower, I wear diapers, and I'm ~~always~~
 *often* smoking cannabis
 
 "awww, some people wanted mao"
 
 *meow*
 
 what if... they could do that? *insert magical genie witch* whoa cute yeah I
 believe you, sure
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--- #30 fediverse/4295 ---
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 I'm the kind of witch who's so poor, she can barely afford to eat because
 she's paying all her money on rent
 
 "*just get on food stamps, you'll never pay for food again*"
 
 sorry, can't do that. I'd feel rich with a full pantry. What is best in life?
 A full pantry, the smell of warmth, and the space to resist peril.
 
 I know I'm not rich enough to afford those things, because I don't work hard
 enough. HA just take the handout, solve your material problems, live in your
 house for 6 more months instead of 2, and stop complaining you stupid ritz
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--- #31 fediverse/5014 ---
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 @user-803 
 
 witches
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--- #32 fediverse/721 ---
 image.png
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 │ CW: spirituality-and-homelands │
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 Hello, I am a witch and this is my altar.
 
 Here, I dream of a green USA.
 
 covered by the branches,
 my body decays into parts,
 ready to join the next life that needs me.
 
 [read the alt-text on the pictures, or listen to your screenreader for more
 explanation]
a round planter pot with a dead plant growing out of it. At it's feet there are sticks I found outside that are covered in moss - the moss is dehydrated, and so brown and dusty. Sticking out of the pot is a flag of my homeland, and behind it there is a fog covered windowpane. In addition, my cat watches from behind, asking me to open the door for her so she can go out on the porch and freeze for a bit before begging to be let back in. She just wanted to see the cold, I suspect. close up picture of the thirsty moss. There is a small glass jar partly filled with water - I add a bit more whenever I pray, from my water bottle. As it evaporates from the jar, it makes the world just a bit more humid, and better for moss to grow in.  there are leaves and detritus in the planter pot as well, to simulate a forest floor covered in soil. I've sprayed the moss with water, and it awakens and spreads it's arms in exultation. The light from the window behind it gives power to it's ever-beckoning grasp, as it sucks carbon from the atmosphere to build itself as a structure that fights back against disorder. Consuming naught but light, water, and air, it grows forever without a care, and tomorrow our world is more beautiful.
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--- #33 fediverse/4655 ---
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 sleep? yes. play? nah. work? yes. fae? nah. well, maybe, I don't know.           │
 one year is all it takes to change history. and, like, I think we should         │
 remember past history, but tomorrow is herstory, because that way each one       │
 gets half of the timeline. future, past, etc. too bad herstory doesn't roll      │
 off the tongue... shestory?                                                      │
 It's gonna get better before it gets done, and it'll get done until we're        │
 done. but, that's for tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or in a week or    │
 two, who can say. Not I, surely not I, and I surely wouldn't want to. You need   │
 consent for that kind of thing, a clear commitment that me and my are ready      │
 and in line. I'm just a silly witch after all, who would look to the girl with   │
 the tall red pointy witch hat and go "oh yeah she probably knows exactly         │
 what's up" because like, I don't, I'm definitely just coincidencing my way       │
 through life and seeing where my feet lead me. Gosh I hope I get some            │
 sick-as-heck callouses my feet kinda hurt for some reason.                       │
 ... sleep, this is a sleep spell...                                              │
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